#spn s1

[angel-ghoul444]

⛥ the boy with the demon blood ౨♱ৎ

[spnstillstudies]

1/327

S1E01, “Pilot”

[spn-circa-2012]

he fuckin died

[carefuldevil]

Jensen Ackles as Dean Winchester in 1.1 "Pilot" Supernatural (2005-2020)

[samwinchestercaps]

[shinelikethunder]

the family drama and backstory gets a lot of play as being the best part of 1x08 Bugs, but what I don't see people talking about as much is that the punchline of the whole thing is when they're in the car near the end and Dean "Filial Piety" Winchester hears Sam telling that kid very earnestly over the phone "you have to tell your shitty dad the truth about the danger you're all in! just try to get through to him!" and immediately goes "are you crazy? gimme the fucking phone. okay, kiddo, it's time to tell your dad what's known as an 'expedient lie.' how good are you at faking appendicitis?"

like give me all the backstory on Dean learning to "manage" John while Sam was standing up to him, i know that shit went crazy and got toxic as hell

[deansblade]

"You two are a little young for marshals, aren't you?" | S01E01

[allthecryingdragons]

Pt.3 | Pt.2 | Pt.1

[eemolu]

[monstersandbrothers]

in my mind a huge part of sam and dean’s dynamic at the beginning of season one is like.

dean is so terrified that sam doesn’t need him anymore. yes, he came back, but he’s grown up and he’s seen so much more of the world and he’s smart and self-sufficient, and so even though he’s with dean, dean feels basically useless as a protector/caretaker, the role he played his entire life, the only one he knows, and it’s now no longer really needed. so he handles that (poorly) by overcompensating to an EXTREME degree. like being even more of a helicopter parent, not letting sam go anywhere alone, checking on him all the time, etc etc.

then finally sam explodes on him, because he’s not a kid and dean doesn’t need to worry about him anymore.

and dean is soooo offended by that because like. how do you not KNOW, sam. if you think there’s a single universe where i don’t worry about you every waking moment of my life then you don’t know me at all.

and sam metabolizes that as, i’m a burden, i’m sorry for being such a fucking burden, i’m sorry you feel so stifled by having to take care of me.

and they never talk about any of this by the way. so it just becomes a never ending cycle of he doesn’t need me anymore // i’m such a burden to him on and on and on

[castielsparkle]

[spnstillstudies]

20/327

S1E20, “Dead Man’s Blood”

[spn-circa-2012]

there’s an exchange at the end of 1x18, something wicked, that’s been haunting me.

when sam expresses how he wishes he had a normal, innocent childhood… dean says this:

“i wish you could too.”

not i wish i could have, not even i wish we could have—he has no existing framework in which his innocence is preserved, not even in idealistic fantasies or what-ifs. because dean never got to be a child, even as an adult he can’t imagine a childhood where he maintains childlike qualities.

even in this utter fantasy sam is confessing to, this wish to have had normalcy or stability… dean cannot imagine a universe in which he is included in that. in this ideal world of make-believe where sam keeps his innocence, dean still does not. because he doesn’t even know what that degree of safety or comfort would look like.

dean’s loss of innocence was so young he can’t recall a time before it, and he’s spent his entire life protecting the fractured remains of sam’s at any cost.

[uh-ohspaghettio]

Wishing a very blessed day to my favorite Sam hair

[carefuldevil]

SUPERNATURAL (2005-2020) - 1.1 'Pilot'

[samwinchestercaps]