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etheriadearie · 3 months

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Endgame: a meta emotional exploration of how SPOP's perfect ending relies on no miracles

So, we pick up our story where we left off; Shadow Weaver is dead, having given Catra her chance to save Adora... and to save their love. One final monumental task lies ahead of them, which will determine the fate of the universe...

Adora's final burden weighs heavy, too heavy, and she is sick. Sick in her body from Horde Prime's virus, but also sick in her soul. Years of believing that she must carry the world's burdens that seem to get ever heavier and injurious have left her weary and predicting her own failure. This final task seems all but assured to destroy Adora, as the cruelty which is the universe keeps on telling her that she alone is the hero, and must do what must be done, never mind the consequences to her own life. And Horde Prime has her, his final cruelty is invading her body and weakening her at a time when she needs to be strong... stronger than she has ever been before.

But Catra is here, her beautiful friend who she loves and yearns for. Things are bad, but at least they're together... she looks over at Catra as she carries Adora towards the Heart, seeing a look of total focus and determination. This look is intense, it is Catra's everlasting determination to care for and support her friend, no matter how sick she may be, or how dangerous her final task.

It's a look that Adora has seen before; someone so intensely caring for her above all other things. It happened to her before when Angella bravely flew up to remove the sword from the portal, to protect her. And this isn't the first time Catra has shown this look of care for Adora. But this look is well known to Catra... as we've seen this look before: from the people who cared for Catra during her darkest hours...

This world was cruel to Catra, more so than anyone else in this story. She was always singled out for hurt, her torture both physical and mental, nothing ever seemed to go her way, nobody ever seemed to see her pain. Darkness has chased Catra her entire life, wanting to swallow her up, vanish her into its silent oblivion. And yet, in that darkness, the light still shone down on her. As alone as she ever felt, as misunderstood as she thought she'd always be, those few who cared for her saw her pain, and took care of her. Maybe they couldn't understand why she hurt so bad, lashing out at them in response to their caring for her... and why she always hid the pain, unwilling to acknowledge it, never discussing where the hurt was. But they saw nonetheless, and so they cared for her.

I am, of course, speaking of her two dearest friends... Scorpia and Adora.

TW: discussions of call of the void, and implied discussion of the "s" word and "s" missions etc.

Both of them have shown this exact emotion of care for Catra: Scorpia, at the end of White Out, picks Catra up to carry her to safety, having just watched her friend nearly give up her life because she was so desperate to not lose Adora again. Scorpia decided then that she wouldn't let the darkness swallow Catra up, even though her friend seemed to care not if she had died that day.

And then, again, inside the portal dimension, a reality created by Catra when she pulled the switch, desperate to the point of mentally broken from all of the abuse and heartbreak she had suffered, as the world collapsed around them Adora refused to leave Catra behind. In a moment of ironic payback, Adora picks up a stun rod and shocks a disbelieving Catra: we see Adora first carry her unconscious form with worry and care, and then with unrelenting determination she pilots the skiff, outrunning the burning darkness of the collapsing reality which Catra was so determined to stay in, to die peacefully in its embrace.

And so now the time has come for Catra to pay it all back, to give her best and truest heart in protecting and supporting Adora, the love of her life, and her salvation. Catra knows Adora is hurting, and that the darkness of the void is near. Catra knows what Adora is feeling because Catra has gotten to know that darkness intimately... it has been with her all of her life, especially close these last few years when she thought she had lost Adora forever. She knows the signs well... and she sees it in Adora.

This darkness that chases Adora is a monstrous thing, and it has Adora firmly wrapped in its grip. The abuses of their traitorous stepmother still weigh heavily on Adora, she's never been able to get free of the hurt that Shadow Weaver poisoned her with, it is ever with her, consuming her self belief and destroying her hopes. And Horde Prime's virus infects her, along with his taunting words of her unworthiness as a hero who's destined to fail. But Catra is here, she sees Adora's pain and she's prepared to give her heart and her soul to help Adora overcome it.

Catra doesn't yet know how she can help her friend, her dearest love, with this. She just knows that it's the right thing to do, and somehow, someway, it's her that can help Adora overcome. Catra may have had to fight hard to help Adora be free from Shadow Weaver’s intentions to sacrifice her, but her work is not yet done: Shadow Weaver, in her final moment, told Catra that she is the key to Adora being strong enough to survive the Heart.

It was a gift won out of her determination to face ‘destiny' down and not let it take Adora from her, to call out the darkness that was Shadow Weaver’s manipulations of the two of them, done to give their selfish and abusive parent more power at the cost of the girls' lives. So now, as Catra carries Adora to the heart, she is decided: she will stay with her, and find a way to save her, or die trying. Just like how Adora and Scorpia were unwilling to let Catra be swallowed up by the darkness when she was living without hope, Catra will do the same for Adora, no matter what it takes, no matter how heavy the burden placed on Adora may be. Catra will find the strength to lift that burden and save her, because Adora cannot do this alone... the pain and fear Adora feels is too great for her to overcome alone.

Adora smiles fondly at Catra, who breaks her furious determination to smile back. Adora is so happy that Catra came for her, that she got to see her again. Catra cocks a conspiratorial smile, she's happy, too.

They are momentarily overcome with surprise, seeing that they've reached the Heart. Here they stand, together, at the end of the world... they share a smile, as this is how it should be. Adora stands free of Catra, looking to her in thanks, and trying to will herself into confidence. It takes a moment for Catra to drop her worried look, she knows Adora is still in danger. But she smiles back, wanting to encourage Adora by letting her know that she believes in her. Adora focuses, shows her determination. All that separates her from success and redemption is one final transformation as She-ra... and she is determined to succeed. It is her duty, and fate, she has continued to believe, has brought her here. It was always going to come down to her and this moment, to stop Prime and end the war. She tries to summon the sword...

... Disaster. She can't overcome the virus, as she focuses her magical power, it just opens her up to attack and the virus spreads further into her body. Adora realizes she can't do it, all of her fears are true. She's just a lonely girl, inconsequential and caught up in a heroic destiny she was never worthy of. Adora has always believed her burdens would be the end of her, many times she felt she stood at death's doorstep, and this time is no different... cruelty became a fact of life for her. She screams out in pain as the sickness invades her further, and Catra grabs ahold of her, trying to understand what is wrong, so she can help her.

Adora looks at Catra, she knows she can't hide this from her. She tells her she can't transform, tears forming in her eyes. Things are bad, like she feared they would be. Adora sinks into the belief that she is no hero, it's been a lie all along. She's a fake, getting the sword must have been a mistake after all, a perversion of the First Ones bringing her to Etheria to be their weapon. And she can't even become She-ra... Horde Prime has taken that from her.

As virus spreads into the heart chamber, Catra looks up at it in realization... time is short. Prime is moments from taking everything away from them... she looks on as Adora tells her the full truth: she can't become She-ra because of Prime's virus. Dismayed, Catra tries to understand. She asks if the failsafe won't work without She-ra. Adora looks grim, not meeting Catra's eyes...

Catra sees Adora go inward, shutting her eyes, accepting her dark fate. Catra sees this and understands: Adora is accepting her death, and the void that now calls to her. Her face shows weariness and resignation, Catra knows these feelings well and she's fearful for Adora.

Adora centers her belief long enough to summon the failsafe. She can still do one last good thing for everyone, and fulfill her duty as she dies. She's so tired... it's been a long and exhausting journey ever since that moment when she decided to seek out the sword, leaving her dearest Catra behind in doing so... she didn't realize it would all end like this, with such... finality. A history, and a fate, from which she could not escape. Mara's kind words speak to her, to believe in love, and to not give up, as well as Catra's, asking her to dream of their future... but they are not enough. Her burden is too great, the hour is too late, and Horde Prime is too cruel for her to surpass... so she will do what is needed so that everyone else can keep going without her. She can't let the universe be end like this, it would be amoral for her not to sacrifice herself, after all... She looks to Catra and tells her: "No. It'll work." She doesn't need to live through it for the failsafe to deploy... then everyone is safe and she can finally... rest. She puts on a determined face for Catra... this is how it's got to be, she won't fail now. She tells Catra to leave her to her final task, her solitary burden she unwittingly accepted when she took the sword. Catra shouldn't have to pay this burden as well, and she hopes against hope that Catra will find a way to live on without her.

Catra looks on as Adora does this. She is crestfallen, and knows Adora is telling her that she will die. Catra can't just let Adora accept this... it's not fair for her to just stop living without ever having begun in the first place. She challenges Adora instead... "Adora... what is going to happen to you?" She needs Adora to say it, so she will see it too. So she can see just how unfair this is...

Catra faced down death, refusing to die so many times, just to get to this point. And Adora needs to understand how important it is to fight against those who would kill you as she did. It was never a choice for Catra, death was always near, starting that day they strayed into Shadow Weaver's chambers, and if she hadn't had the will to fight, to desire her life and her own worth, death would have swallowed her up long ago. In those times when she hurt so bad, and death felt so near, all that Catra could do was to scream back with fury and defiance at that void, her anger willing herself to find a way to keep on living just a little bit longer. Even when she knew she had lost all hope, she refused to quit and let that void win, as that felt too wrong to bear... and so she persisted, no matter how she could. At times, even she has faltered... nearly giving in, but it kills her most of all to see Adora so close to give up, now.

So, how? How can she convince Adora to fight with all of her worth, to refuse to give in, when Adora is so decided in her mind that she is destined to die?

Adora walks away, afraid of what Catra is telling her, because she doesn't see a way to make Catra's belief real. She's so... weary... and so alone. She's glad Catra came back so she could see her again... but this is her end. She's She-ra, and this is the way it's got to be. She turns back to her, telling her she's sorry, her eyes brimming with tears, she's so full of remorse and hurt that she can't be with Catra, she knows she's failing her... again, like she did so many times before. Catra is so beautiful to her, she always has been, and she really is all she's ever wanted... but it's too late.

She tells her that they are out of time, and now she must do what has to be done, she will save everyone in this one, final, selfless act, her payment in trade for being the supposed hero that she is. She walks forward and cradles Catra's head in her hands, pulling her forehead gently to hers... one final act of affection... but not a kiss. A kiss would be too cruel, as she knows she must leave Catra now... so she pulls her hands away from Catra, and she tells her that she is ready to die, she is very brave...

… As Adora tells her she must die, Catra has gone... elsewhere. Her eyes are not seeing, no, her mind is inward, racing, searching for a way to keep Adora from dying. She cannot believe this can be Adora's end. How can this be it? Shadow Weaver told her in her final act that there is a way, and the one thing Shadow Weaver was good for was her knowledge... she's just got to find it to help Adora, find the way to strengthen Adora's belief, to undo all of the hurt and manipulations that Shadow Weaver, the First Ones, and Horde Prime put into Adora, making her believe she must die... but she just, can't see it…

She's still in this daze of concentration when she feels Adora's hands gently touch her cheeks, caressing them affectionately, pulling her head to hers. Adora looks... so exhausted, and saddened. Catra's eyes flare in surprise at Adora's touch, she didn't even notice she had walked over to her, this is all happening too fast! And Adora will slip away from her if she fails in this moment, she knows that. As Adora tells her she's ready to die, then pulls her hands away, she knows this isn't right. She grabs them, clutching them tightly as she looks Adora in the eyes, showing her determination to not give up. It isn't right for Adora to have to die like this! And if Adora can't see that, she's got to find a way to make her. So she tells Adora she won't leave, and declares her decree of love instead, it's all she can do is stay with her, to find more time to rescue the love of her life.

"No... No. I'm not leaving. No matter what happens, I'm staying with you!"

Adora cries out mournfully as Catra refuses her plea to leave her... she knows Catra is choosing to stay with her, because she doesn't want to live without her. And this means she is choosing to die as well... as Adora knows she's not strong enough to do this right, she's only a failed hero. But she knows it's Catra's choice to do this, and she understands that Catra is being brave... Adora turns to face the heart once more, trying to be brave as well.

As Adora turns and faces her burden, Catra stands closely with her. She wants so badly to love Adora, and protect her, so she reaches out and puts her hands on Adora's shoulders as a token of protection, to let Adora know that she has her, and supports her. Adora is the most important thing Catra has ever known, and her love for her is unending.

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Catra got so scared, back when Adora left her... scared that Adora had become a foolish, self involved girl lost to the naive idea that she had some special importance as a destined hero, who was never going to stop to think deeply about what was really going on around her. She didn't seem to see Catra's love, her romantic desire... instead chasing the imaginary standards Shadow Weaver and other's laid out for her, but those were merely manipations meant to use her, nothing like Catra’s love. But that's all done now, Catra has seen Adora's strength, her generous spirit and her heroic determination to always make things better, she'll never leave her again. Catra watched on as Adora was always an open book, so earnest to please others, and because of that, Catra knows she has been hurt. Catra knew better than Adora, she knew to fight against such hurtful people, but Adora just wanted to be loved... yet she didn't understand what love was, and has always felt scared and lonely because of it. She is delicate, and innocent, even now, after all of her battles and growth as the legendary warrior known as She-ra.

Catra knows all of this about Adora, because she was there all along, loving her. And because of that she's always known Adora best... even back when she fought against her, full of anger that Catra had to feel weak from love... she knew she was lying to herself about Adora. Adora isn't perfect, but she's the best person Catra has ever known, and she deserves so much love... giving her that is all Catra has ever wanted, but even now, Adora, she doesn't see it...

As Catra stands beside her, Adora's mind is lost, feeling the totality of her aloneness, as a supposed hero of fate. Even though Catra is by her side, now, she still can't believe love is really possible, for her anyways. Her whole life has been one long and difficult journey of responsibilities and danger. She has to come through now, or her life will be meaningless. But she feels so... ill... and so... tired... and so totally alone. How can she possibly succeed in this dangerous task, when she feels so weary? And Catra stands at her shoulder, daring the danger to take her down as well. The burden of it is too much... Adora feels her eyelids slipping, and then her body, she feels weak... she cries out as she doubles over in sickness and pain.

Catra looks on in desperation as Adora does this, Adora is dying right before her very eyes. She's feeling lost and alone, and she's giving up... just like Catra feared she might. Adora clutches at her heart, and at the failsafe... her final, cruel mission. The virus is invading it, trying to corrupt the failsafe and stop to Adora's heart as well. Adora slips out of her hands, Catra watches on in horror as Adora collapses to the ground... it was so fast! Catra didn't even have time to catch her fall! Horde Prime's final cruelty has Adora, Catra rolls her over so she can get a better look at what's happening...

The failsafe doesn't look right, and Adora's eyes are closed in agony from it. Catra watches the virus invade Adora further, spreading across her face and body. She reaches out and holds Adora, trying to comfort her, full of concern and sadness. This is agony, and its killing her. And Catra still can't see how she can help Adora, so she holds her as lovingly as she can instead, crying out against the unfairness of it. No! This can't be it! She needs Adora to hold on, but her eyes are sealed shut from all of the pain she's in…

A strange, eerie noise echoes into the chamber, and Catra looks up with dread at the heart... Horde Prime's corruption advances further and the strange green energy jumps down from the ceiling and hits the heart directly... Catra knows this is a sign that worse is about to come…

Adora looks, too, finding enough strength through her pain to crack her eyelids so that she can see. Things are bad, and their time is up…

::Horde Prime cackles cruelly as his plan is nearly completed... he is hacking the Heart directly now, and is mere moments from being able to direct that energy, either at his enemies, or at the universe itself. He's a sick man, and it immediately becomes bitterly obvious: Horde Prime wants to end... it. All of it. Everyone's story coming to an end, the finality as his "perfect dominion." The universe will end with Horde Prime...

But little does he know, Hordak has found his inner will through his love for Entrapta, allowing him to resist Horde Prime's memory wipes and mind control. As Hordak looks down at Entrapta along his charged weapon, he can't hurt her. She is too precious to him, so instead, as he searches his feelings, he finds... defiance.

He attacks his so called god, breaking Horde Prime's connection to the heart temporarily... love, it seems, has stalled things just a bit longer for our girls...

Adora comes to in Catra's arms. Did she black out? She's not sure... Horde Prime's virus is inside the Heart now, and everything is pain. She feels so... weak, and tired... as if breathing alone is asking too much of her body, that most basic requirement of life. Catra is telling her to stay awake, she looks up and sees Catra's concerned face, but then she sees the heart... Catra looks, too. It has become corrupted, like Adora's own failing body, she's failed, its all too much, and she is far too weak...

She waits for Catra to meet her gaze, her eyes full of sorrow... all she can do now is to tell Catra she's sorry, that she couldn't save her life, couldn't even do that, let alone love her like she wants...

Catra puts her hand to her cheek, it feels warm, good. Adora summons enough strength to lift her hand to hold Catra's hand to her cheek, to savior this last intimate touch... but it doesn't last, she's too... weak... she accepts her failure, her inadequacy. She couldn't even die right, to save everyone and the universe, in the end. And Catra... she manages one last weak gaze back at Catra, as she feels her heart slowing... it will stop... just... in a moment... she sees Catra cry out her name, tears streaming from her eyes, longingly for her, telling her to not die... to not leave her... but Adora feels herself slipping away... Catra clutches her body to hers, but all that is left for Adora to do now, is to die in the embrace of the only person she's ever truly loved... with one last look at the corrupted heart, she accepts that it wasn't enough, she's too tired... she can't fight it any longer... her eyes slowly slip closed...

As Adora is weakening to the point of passing out, Catra is struggling against the idea that Adora could end so... quietly. She knows there has to be more to this moment, some way for Adora to win, she's supposed to be the hero... it shouldn't end like this. There's been so much cruelty, all of their lives, so many people hurting them, wanting them to fail. But, she's got Adora now, she's holding her dying body in her very arms. She had to fight down Shadow Weaver to have this moment, but not without cost. Too much time passed, and Adora's sickness is too far advanced. Prime has her, and Catra can feel the last sparks of life leaving Adora's body. Adora looks at her, she tells her she's sorry. Catra reaches out to hold her cheek lovingly, she doesn't know what else to do, so she comforts her. Adora's eye close, needing her loving touch... then they open, Catra watches as Adora remembers her burden. Adora is being consumed by the thoughts of her failure, that she didn't even manage to do the one thing she came here to do, to stop the heart. Catra sees Adora's gaze weakening, but she looks to her one last time...

Catra feels Adora's body becoming quiet, her heart is failing her. Adora can't die now, it's just too cruel! So she begs Adora to fight instead, mournfully calling her name as her eyes are slipping shut. She clutches Adora against her body, hoping the pressure can sustain her, that it will make her love flow into Adora. And that maybe, somehow, that love will heal her, and give her the strength to live. But she knows Adora is about to die, and she still hasn't figured out what the key is, what she’s supposed to do to convince Adora to stay...

As Adora's eyes slip shut, Catra is lost and confused, she's lost on what she's supposed to do to help Adora face this final task, and so Catra does the only thing she can. She holds all of the love she has for Adora in her heart, all the words and gentle touches, the most intimate feelings she should have told to Adora. These feelings are Catra's dreams of their love, her hidden desire she was so afraid to show, the weakness and need she feels when she looks at Adora. She got caught up, waiting for Adora to give her a sign that she felt the same, so she wouldn't have to bear all of those feelings to Adora with no garentee of them being returned. But, they've run out of time, and as she clutches Adora against her body, whispering her name and crying for her, she knows it is probably too late for them, now. Still, she dreams, holding all of her love for Adora inside her heart, this love is as wide as an ocean, stretching to every horizon…

All of her life, Catra has had the most beautiful dreams of them being together. Even when she was so angry and fought against Adora, she still couldn't escape her dreams, her desire for her. She tried not to... it hurt to think of how it seemed that she'd never have her. And now, Adora is finally in her arms, but she's dying. Dying when she should be living, living so that Catra can show her all of her love. As time counts down, and Adora weakens towards unconsciousness in her arms, Catra wishes for time enough to show Adora her most beautiful feelings. It is her torrid desire, to share every last moment with Adora, and to romance her dearest Adora with her splendid love. Catra wishes her desire couple wrap Adora up inside it to protect her, she's searching for a way to reach Adora with her love.

Little does she know, Etheria is about to answer her call… it will help her show Adora the meaning of what it is to be loved...

Adora's eyes startle open. Confused, she feels warm and comfortable, seeing the waterfall in Brightmoon splashing down before her.

She feels safe here, the feeling is jarring considering that she was certain she had just accepted her finality, her death. It's embrace was where she felt like she had to go, to finally be at peace. And yet, instead... she's seeing... her own reflection? She's... home, in Bright Moon? And she looks... different. She's beautiful... delicate, and vulnerable. Every bit of the elegant dress she wears is gorgeous, it suits her, the gold trim complements her skin tone and her hair. Adora has never thought of herself as beautiful in this way, so tender and warm, the idea of it is foreign to her, there's always only been duty and responsibility. She remembers she was trying to uphold these as her eyes were slipping shut, towards everlasting slumber.

Yet here she is, somehow…

The door creaks behind her, and she turns to see her dearest love, Catra, come into the room, being chased by a determined Glimmer. Catra flows towards her, every bit of her movement is graceful and elegant. Catra is wearing beautiful, golden shoes, they match the trim on her own dress... which is strange, she knows Catra was always cautious, keeping the claws on her feet ready so she could spring from danger. Catra is laughing, it's so beautiful when she laughs. Her hair is different too, it's longer, like hers is, and yet, also different than when she was with the Horde. A white and gold jacket flows from her shoulder clasps, her outfit goes with Adora's beautiful dress exquisitely. She's so happy, as though she's without a care, as if the only thing that exists is this beautiful, soft moment, all of the cruelty and harshness of the world has washed away, and reality is blissful... like a dream.

Adora looks on in confusion as Catra runs at her with Glimmer in hot pursuit. Glimmer wants to brush Catra's beautiful, bushy hair, but Catra's not having it. Catra darts around Adora playfully, using her body as a shield against Glimmer, softly caressing Adora's skin as she does. Frustrated by Catra's antics, Glimmer abandons the chase, accusing Catra of being dramatic. Yeah, she's right, that's so Catra. Adora can feel Catra resting her hands on her shoulders with gentle possessiveness... but it also makes her feel protected, a moment that feels somehow… familiar. Catra's touch is so real... yet how can that be? She was dying, she was sure of it. But instead, Catra is here, and so is Glimmer. Bow walks in, saying they're late for Scorpia's first ball. Ah, so that's what this is! They're going to a ball, and this must be, the future? Or perhaps the present? Perhaps she simply forgot-?

After Glimmer tells Catra she's off the hook, she joins Bow, and they hold each other like lovers. Catra still stands at her shoulder, her hands gently resting on her skin, they could be lovers, too. It feels so real, she’s certain she can even feel Catra's warm breath on her neck, her cool nails against her skin as she possessively clings to her. Catra seems so... Catra... it all feels so... real. Even Catra's little rebellion, that's so like her, she's always loved Catra's little quirks. Adora watches as Bow and Glimmer turn to leave, and then Catra walks forward. She turns on heel to face Adora, graceful, like a dancer, and offers her hand to Adora, asking if she's ready to go. It's so beautiful... Catra is a great dancer, she remembers that, from way back when at Princess Prom. She was trying so hard not to let Catra distract her, but she was too beautiful... ugh she's such an idiot around Catra.

As Catra tries to face her, there's so much warmth here, and so much peace. Here Catra stands before her, holding out her hand to her, love radiating from her face. It makes her feel so safe, surrounded by her home, with Catra finally here with her, looking at her like this, loving her like this. Catra is so beautiful in her outfit, it's so stylish yet matching to her own dress, leave it to Catra to have immaculate taste. Adora looks down at Catra's hand, her eyes trailing over to where Catra is wearing her pin... does that mean that they are together? Like, really together? The idea of it is so wonderful, and she wants it so very much, they're going to dance again, and not as enemies this time! Adora gives in, this love she feels coming from Catra is too real, too pure to not be true. She feels joyous, and ready to experience the beauty of it all... this must be real, and she was just feeling... confused. She wasn't dying, that's absurd, that was nothing but a bad dream, a strange nightmare that she had to wake up from eventually. She loves Catra so much, she finds herself reaching out lovingly, ready to take her hand, to enjoy a night of dancing and romance with her dearest love, not a care weighing down her ever weary soul...

Tragically... cruelly, her hand passes right through Catra's, as though it were just a figment. With dismay, she notices the glitching in the simulation... she understands now, and sorrow floods across her face... it wasn't real... of course not. She was so sure it was real... Catra's love felt so real... but it was not. It's all cruelty now, as instead Horde Prime stands before her, the dream ripped away from her, while he mocks her. His cruelty cannot be escaped, it was foolish of her to allow herself to dream in the first place, she's just an unworthy hero, failing in her last, unselfish act, of wanting to accept all of the burdens onto herself so that everyone else could be protected from the cruelty of this ancient war... Prime has her now...

He crushes the last of the dream, corrupts the vision as it crumbles into sickening green. She's helpless, completely alone against cruelty as he shackles her, she cries out in pain as the virus returns to invade her mind, hurting her again... everything is going green... the color of Horde Prime's corruption... the color of his unfeeling clones, and now, of the corrupted Heart. She feels as if she's adrift in space, the dream reality that was the simulation is all but gone now, only fragments of code remain, fading into green... as the world closes into green around her, Adora wishes it had been real... don't leave me, Catra, I need you... I always needed you... please...

Adora feels as though she's gently falling... down... down... away... towards her end, towards final oblivion, for her... and the universe... she has failed…

::NOTE: We're now switching to Catra’s point of view during the dream, it may seem repetitive however this is to explain her role in that dream. She's there alongside Adora (to a point). META HERE.

Catra is still clutching Adora’s dying body to her own when she feels the dream begin. She finds her vision being drawn away, from reality, to where Adora is in her dream, as Etheria draws from her ocean of love to create a perfect vision of her love for Adora. Enthralled, Catra watches the beautiful Adora before her, in her white dress with gold trim…

It feels odd at first for Catra, because what she's seeing is a vision that's of dissociation, as though she's watching apart from her body, and at first she doesn't understand. She's still clutching Adora's still body in her arms, and yet... if they were but moments from death in the Heart Chamber, why is she seeing this now, instead? Still, she can sense the presence of Etheria’s magic here, like she's felt before… and then she begins to understand- while she didn't intend to let the magic take from her feelings to make this beautiful dream, because Etheria’s magic has become so natural to her, she had subconsciously let it. And because of this, the dream is perfect, exactly of Catra's truest and deepest feelings. Etheria is doing this for Adora- but it's with her help.

As she's watching Catra realizes that this dream is has been made to be the perfect antidote to Adora’s traumatized mind. The way Etheria’s magic choose to put Adora in the place she feels safest, Brightmoon. The way Glimmer and Bow are there, and as lovers. The way her dream self gently touches Adora’s shoulders with gentle but possessive love, trying to sooth her and make her feel how she's wanted. This dream version of herself is exactly honest to how Catra always wanted to act around Adora, but with the violence that surrounded their lives, and then the war which divided them, it was something she never felt safe doing. Yet now, as the world stands on the edge of annihilation, Catra’s heart is wide open, she's ready to give her truest and most earnest self.

Catra never really made a conscious decision to stop fighting Etheria's magic to instead harmonize with it, it convinced her over time that it was always on her side. Unlike Shadow Weaver's magic, which was always cruel and controlling, Etheria's magic soothed her, it felt natural, and kind. And Etheria’s magic has helped Catra many times, such as the first time encountered its presence when she and Adora were inside the Crystal Castle during Promise. Back then she hardly knew what was happening, yet she knew that magic was whispering to her, telling her she was right to feel that Adora endangered her life with her naive need to serve others expectations, and that she needed to wait until Adora learned from her naive mistakes before she could return her love again. But those times are gone, Adora has learned now, she's the closest thing to a hero Catra has ever seen, and she's so close to becoming a great hero. Now, at this crucial moment, Etheria's magic needed her help, and so Catra finds herself sharing the love in her heart with it, so that they can show Adora this beautiful dream, together... to save her...

With silent approval Catra watches her dream self gently cling to Adora’s shoulders, coveting her as precious- Adora is her treasure, after all. She knows this touch is calming Adora, even as Adora still rebels from the dream, knowing that she was dying moments ago.

Lovingly, Catra wishes for Adora to stop being so suddenly smart. For once in your life, abandon your anxiety and stop fighting this feeling, Adora, because this is how I love you. This is how I will treasure and protect you, and I will always be with you. But you have to be strong enough to choose my love, like I have chosen love. I will never doubt love again, and I will never leave you again, but I need you to hang on, and I need you to wake up!

Catra watches as Adora is getting closer to accepting her love, yet still hesitates, doubting it can be real. She knows it's going to take something much grander to convince Adora- and then, Catra watches as her dream self beautifully turns on heel to offer her hand to Adora: offering her the chance to dance again, this time with love in their hearts. It's a waking dream that has been one of Catra’s most earnest and constant daydreams- to get to dance with Adora again, like they did at Princess Prom- but as lovers, not enemies. Etheria's magic has taken this waking dream and so beautifully expressed it that she sees Adora’s worry finally fade away, being replaced with a look of wonder, and then watches as Adora looks to the pin on her jacket. See? We're to be married! My love is true, you have to believe me!

As Adora abandons doubt and gives into the beauty of it, Catra knows she is hers to save, if Adora only takes her hand now, she will wake knowing what it means to be loved…

But then, just like Adora, Catra sees the glitch as Adora’s hand passes through her own. Her heart sinks, as Prime materializes, her connection to Adora temporarily disrupted. Angrily Catra realizes that Prime had been waiting for the best moment to interrupt the dream and shatter Adora’s hopes. Prime will never let Adora take her hand, because he knows that could save her.

As he taunts Adora, he's taunting her, too. To show Catra how distant she is, and powerless, that she can't reach Adora through the reality he's imposing on her to torture her, sinking her into his void, where she will fall towards oblivion, towards death. It's disgustingly condescending- he wants to make her feel helpless…

Instead, Catra feels cold anger inside her, it's giving her focus, and she refuses to give up. We were so close, she thinks, and as devious as Prime is, she knows that he’s not perfect. With this new found focus she searches for a way to reach Adora and wrest her from Prime's control, wracking her mind, feeling out a way to her. Then she finds it- it's like a path of green, as if a string of fate, connecting herself and Adora.

It's Prime’s virus- she and Adora are bound by this thin line of green code- the virus which is in both their bodies. Catra quickly realizes that Prime has made a mistake by infecting her, too, as the virus doesn't hurt her the way it does Adora. And this code, this string, this connection, it's something she can control, it gives her a way in to where he's trapped her. She can backhack the connection, much like she did before with the chip in her neck to spy on him and his plans for Etheria when she was on Darla after Adora had saved her.

As Catra follows that string of fate towards Adora, she's still conscious of Adora’s dying body in her arms. Simultaneously in both worlds, this gives Catra the way to open the door back to reality for Adora- but Adora will have to fight her way free, Catra can't make that choice for her. It takes her only a moment to find her, and then she calls out Adora’s name, reaching down to her, as the bridge back to reality, and the way out of Prime’s prison…

... Adora is sinking down, down into Prime’s oblivion. Tears from her eyes trail upwards, just as though she were truly falling downward. It really… wasn't enough, she thinks. I've never had a chance, to escape this cruel fate that was thrust on me since before I could even remember. Nobody can help me now, I am alone… as it has always been.

“Adora!” Her eyes snap open as she hears her name being called, by… Catra?? But how... and yet, there Catra is above her, wreathed in the light of a doorway, the door out of her prison, back towards living, back towards reality.

“Adora, please- you have to wake up!” Wake up? Am I sleeping? I can think… so that would mean I'm conscious, right? But the pain, oh this pain- Horde Prime’s pain. She was so sure she was dying, and it's too confusing to her that Catra is here, now. It isn't enough, she can't accept it… her arms feel heavy, paralyzed, she cannot move. And yet… she does want to move very badly... her heart is waking up... at the sight of Catra... it wants... to get back... to Catra...

As Catra sees the fear in Adora’s eyes, she knows that Adora is doubting, now, more than she has ever before. Catra understands- I must make every word count, or she'll fall beyond my reach, gone forever. Still, she hasn't found the key that will save Adora, so instead she does the only thing she can- she lets her heart speak for her, abandoning any self conscious thoughts that might have stopped her in the past as she does so.

Every word that Catra speaks then rings down on Adora as the greatest truths she's ever spoken- “You can't give up. You've never given up on anything in your life, not even on me.” Meanwhile, outside the dream, she clutches Adora closer.

Despite her lingering doubt, Adora’s senses are now wide open- seeing, hearing Catra, yearning to understand her words. Still, she can't move… and even if she could reach, it won't be enough, Adora thinks. Adora sees the look in Catra’s eyes shift to one of determination and command. “So don't you dare start now!” Catra reaches further for her, her hand is now demanding that Adora to reach for it. It's enough for Adora to be able to tap into her unrealized reserves of strength and push past the pain. She exerts her entire body in one motion as she reaches for Catra- it works- her arms finally come free as the shackles on her body break, but still she feels weak. Her hand is far too short of Catra’s, as she suspected it would be. Mournfully, she calls out “It’s too late. I've failed.” The tears well up in her eyes, all of her doubts from a lifetime of being hurt and having unfair burdens thrust on her reverberate in those small, scared words…

As Catra hears the mournfulness in Adora’s words, her blood chills like ice, she can't let Adora give up now. Heart racing, Catra finds herself desperately calling back “No, no!” Again, she wracks her mind further…I need more, I must say more…

All of the hurt, the abuse Shadow Weaver inflicted on us… our meager, pitiful melancholy lives, it's so close to ending... We are so close to the start of a life where we can be free. “I've got you. I'm not letting go.” That's all Catra can think to say, as back in reality, Catra hugs Adora’s unconscious body hard, knowing that she can't feel her loving embrace. I have to give you more, I'll give everything for you! How do I give you more-?

Adora finds herself struggling to reach father for Catra when she hears Catra’s truest words, telling her that she's got her. She can tell their hands are a bit closer now, the sound of yearning in Catra’s voice having unlocked something in Adora, as for the first time in her life, she feels as though perhaps she's not so alone, and maybe, just maybe, Catra might know how she feels… so that she won't have to be so alone anymore.

Their fingers are so close, Adora can taste the distance between them, and she yearns to hear Catra's next, most truest words. Words she does not yet know that she yearns to hear... yet her heart has always wanted. It has always asked to hear Catra's next, most truest words... breathlessly she awaits, and then... Catra speaks those very words...

“Don't you get it? I LOVE you.”

Love… like the idiot she is, Adora didn't see this coming, yet her heart did, having wished for it all this time... and that word strikes her like lightning, energizing her. She feels enlivened by it, it's as though electricity is crawling over every inch of her skin. In this moment, Adora’s consciousness is suddenly fully present, her doubts gone... she's yearning to know more of what Catra means with that word, love. What it love, what does she mean? As her best friend? As a... lover? I have to know more, I want to stay a bit longer… so I can hear what she means!

“.... I always have.” ... Another jolt of electricity, waking her heart up inside: it confirms that Adora’s hopes were right, Catra does know how she feels. She's not alone… she never has been… Catra is with her, she’s got her…

“So please, just this once- stay!” Again, a jolt of energy, as again Adora finds herself being commanded. Being told to no longer be alone- the love of her life is right there, demanding that she stay long enough to know love... demanding that she live. Demanding that she'll never be alone again, with Catra always by her side…

Love unburdens Adora- the single act of Catra’s understanding, frees her. The weight of doubt holding her down is suddenly gone, as if it never existed. To her previous struggle, there is no struggle, and there is no distance between them- that's how effortlessly Adora finds her hand reaching the final distance to Catra’s. Just as Catra’s does, too- she, too, is unburdened by love. Their palms touch, their fingers interlace, the bridge is finally secure. Through their connection Adora can feel Catra’s warmth rushing into her body, awakening her, bringing her back to reality. Yet as it does, Adora finds her vision goes dark… as it must be, so that she can wake back into consciousness… out of the dream, and back to reality…

Now waking back into her body, Adora can sense the peril of the heart, and how hopelessly Catra clings her body to her own to shield her from it, to give her just a few more seconds to live. It won't be enough, she can tell that the heart is about to lash out at them both. She hears Catra repeating again in a desperate whisper- “please, stay" realizing that Catra doesn't yet know she's back. Or how the Heart is about to arc out and silence them both, forever. Calmly Adora find herself thinking- No- it's my turn to protect you. She summons her shield, grounding the charge and absorbing the Heart’s energy, temporarily quieting it, giving her a time enough to speak to her dearest love….

As she looks up into Catra’s stunned eyes, she can tell that Catra is in disbelief that she's come back to life, which is really cute, but there's no time for that, now. She has to know what Catra meant, when she said she loved her… “You love me-?”

“...You're such an idiot” Catra says with relief as Catra finally knows that she's got Adora, she's back, safe in her arms…

::Oh hey there! Im actually gonna end my summary here, because their kiss is perfect, and I know I can't do it justice. Instead, let me say one more thing.

What makes their love confessions, and their kiss, so perfect, to me, is that it happens as each of them is realizing that they're being truly seen by the other for the first time in their lives. They are both imperfect souls, and let their fears and emotions block themselves from really seeing the other truely, so much so that they've hurt each other time and time again. But now, not only are they being seen for the best in themselves, but they also know the other sees their fears and desperate hopes and loves them all the more for those imperfections. Adora’s look as she asks Catra “You love me-?” is that of someone who's been hurting her whole life, desperate to make a difference but given far too few tools to do so, who felt useless while striving to satisfy others needs, her desperation from this making her lash out and destroy her chances at being a true hero. Catra knows all of that, and she loves her, she believes she is a good person, and has become a true hero.

Catra’s stunned look when Adora tells her “I love you, too” is that of someone who thought she could never been seen for the good in her by someone else, as someone who's been wronged her whole life, who was right to resist it, but wrong in her willingness to enact extreme violence for this, yet Adora sees all of Catra’s past wrongs and fears and knows that the pure hearted Catra before her in this moment is her true self.

As Catra realizes Adora is seeing her truly for the first time, she knows kissing her and making their love canon is the only proper act, it's all that there's left to do. In this moment, SPOP beautifully captures how important that feeling of understanding really is. We all desire it, but many don't believe it's possible. How can someone love us, if we're so flawed? But what if that's one of the best parts we can reveal, and to be loved for?

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Appendix of Explanations

Why this post? Is it necessary?

Well, I certainly think so??!!! Because there are no miracles in SPOP like most shows rely on. Catra saving Adora and then Adora saving the universe is possible because of very specific and defined forces, N. D. Stevenson made sure of that. He doesn't rely on anything like that cuz that's how good of a writer he is. Catra can see Adora in her dream and then open the door to pull her to safety for very defined reasons. There's no dues ex machina!

Why is it so important that Catra is in Adora's dream, and why is it important that this is Etheria's magic in action?

Adora's dream isn't an accident at all, and this story would not be the greatest of all time if Catra wasn't deeply the reason for Adora becoming a true hero. To that end, there needed to be a reason Catra could understand how to save Adora. Basically, a mythology. Etheria's magic helping her is this mythology: it's an active force in their world. And Catra resonates with that magic which is why she has the ability to act as she did. Catra has her own magic power: it's not obvious like with the princesses, but she is nonetheless the focus of that force of nature. Sure, N.D Stevenson needed magic to finish the story, a common criticism of stories like this, but the laws governing that magic are well defined.

Why all the explanation about Catra when Adora is the hero? Isn't that the more important part?

I don't mean to downplay Adora's part, she really IS the hero and she's that person because of some very important personality factors, she just can't do it without some help- specifically Catra's help, and Catra can only help her because of how she's harmonizing with the magic! And it's ok for Adora to get some help, we all need help from time to time! In fact, it's unrealistic for her not to need help. Catra's supposed to help her, Etheria knows this, so Catra is her harmony, and their love together is where real power comes from!

Lastly, I am a META writer. Everything I wrote here is based on a frame by frame META analysis of the story, and I give every assurance it's based in truth. Also true is I did use some flowery language to fill in the gaps of the dramatic moments, to make it flow better. Still, even if I ever strayed towards the over dramatic, the meaning is overall true, and if there's any part that you want a meta explanation for, such as how Catra finds Adora through Horde Prime's virus, I will give a moment by moment explanation! Just send me an ask! Also, check my blogs table of contents HERE for more meta explanations. This post might seem like a lot of metas, rest assured I've written explanations to the metas contained here... if that's any consolation! This post is also meant to bring them all together as a story...

So, I'll leave things there. If you liked my explanation and feel it helped you understand what really went on better, please share it with others. And of course, thank you for your likes and your rebloggs!! Reblogs will help others see this, too!

Thank you 🙇 thank you for any rebloggs you can give me, they are life!

Graciously, Etheria Dearie.

Happy Pride, everyone!

#spop #she ra #she ra and the princesses of power #spop meta #catradora dream theory #she ra meta #catradora #she ra synopsis #lgbtqiia+

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