#SWTFA spoilers

[the-technicolor-whiscash]

I was thinking about how many things had been spoiled for me in my time watching things and so let me give you an example of the worst things I have been spoiled:

When I had just started the Mentalist, I immediately went to the IMDb page because I’m a loser who loves trivia. Anyway, immediately upon opening the page, the header image is a picture of Jane and Lisbon. On their wedding day. Which is in the last episode. So I had the last episode spoiled for me before I even finished season one.

I had the great gatsby spoiled for me. In my English class, to introduce us to Gatsby, my teacher played us a video about the book and the history behind it. It showed a clip of the Robert Redford Gatsby movie. A clip of Gatsby getting shot in his own pool. Which spoiled the ending of the book for me before I had even picked it up.

I had sw: tfa spoiled for me before the movie even came out because someone had seen an early release for it and decided to inform the internet that Han Solo died. So I had Han Solo’s death spoiled for me before the movie was even released.

[dykealloy]

heterosexual behaviour

[mystrothedefender]

Hey we know you all love Finn and Poe but here's a ggiirrll you could ship Finn with 🤓🤓🤓 isn't that preferable 🤓🤓🤓🤓 look they even kiss 🤓🤓🤓🤓🤓🤓🤓🤓

[blackjack-15]

The Force of Nature and the Cackling Madman: What Hux Should Be (and What ROS Won’t Be)

Warning: two mentions of the leaked/newish pictures. They will have spoiler warnings bracketing it, along with the appropriate tags connected to the post. You’ve been warned.

INTRODUCTION

With RoS mere months away, this meta really can’t be delayed any longer before it becomes moot, so here we go!

TLJ was a lot of things — some good, some bad —  but what it wasn’t was surprising (unless you count just how shockingly bad 90% of Finn’s storyline was). This is generally a good thing in movies nowadays, where surprises come not from clever writing, but from enormous missteps in the writing or the desire to feel clever by putting in a twist that isn’t foreshadowed, or even just by breaking the rules of your universe.

Ignoring all but the main storyline — which is about Rey and Kylo Ren and their obstacles/conflicts — TLJ didn’t bring any surprises, but instead followed on the lines that TFA set up. As this is obviously the storyline that’s been hashed out from the start and is the point they’re building to, it’s thus safe to say that RoS is simply going to do the same, and follow the lines that TLJ set up.

SPOILER WARNING BEGINS

(Side note: this is why, when the absurdly stupid tuning-fork-lightsaber of Rey’s showed up in the first looks at RoS, it was immediately obvious that she was going to be able to “break” off half of it to give to Kylo when his saber is ultimately gone/self-destructs. Not only does the spoiler picture all but confirm this, but it’s also the obvious trajectory from the two fighting over a lightsaber in TLJ and breaking it in half.)

SPOILER WARNING ENDS

Anyway, with this framework in mind, and with the knowledge that every Star Wars media since the OG trilogy is in some way an adaptation of the OG trilogy, let’s examine what this means for the villain.

TERROR AND STAR WARS VILLAINS

There’s really no getting around the fact that one of the weakest facets of any Star Wars movie — yes, the OG trilogy is included here — is the villains that accompany them. A few SW video games fare a bit better in this, but most follow the movies’ path. This isn’t shocking — Star Wars is a Hero’s Journey, and in a Hero’s Journey it’s the presence of a villain, not the nature of the villain itself, that’s the important part — but it is crucial to understand.

Darth Vader is by far the most iconic and scariest villain that Star Wars movies can boast of, and for those born after 4/5/6 came out, he’s not really that scary, because those viewers go in knowing who Vader is and that he’s (at least partially) redeemed through his sacrifice. The greatest contribution that Rogue One made to that viewership is the scene with Vader at the end, where he is legitimately an object of terror as he was when 4/5/6 were first out.

This leads to a discussion of Palpatine-as-villain in RotJ, where the best that can be said for his status as terror-inducing villain is that at least he has Vader to do most of the heavy lifting for him. As a villain, Palpatine is just not scary. Maybe it’s the makeup, maybe it’s the fact that he gets thrown out like a sack of garbage to his death, maybe it’s the cold ham delivery he gives to what should be properly menacing lines.

Darth Maul’s visuals in TPM alone are scarier than all of Palpatine in RotJ, and, before it’s brought up, Palpatine is even less scary than that in the prequels, so I’m not even considering that part.

The thing that most Star Wars villains have in common (aside from Tarkin, who is my person favorite movie-verse villain) is that they’re forces of nature; they have the force and/or use lightsabers, they’re larger than life and beings of immense power and reputation, and they’re there to sort of loom over movie, causing overwhelming-yet-non-specifc terror to motivate the plot in a “avoid the bad guys” sort of way.

This is especially obvious in the prequel movies, where Darth Maul (ignoring his awesome visual effect), General Grievous, and Count Dooku are all basically meant to Stand There And Look Menacing, rather than having anything about them that’s actually interesting.

And here’s where the interesting things in the sequel trilogy begin.

WHY SMOKE SNOKE?

There was never any way that Snoke was going to live past TLJ, just like there was no way that Hux wasn’t going to survive TLJ. Remembering that the sequel trilogy is in a lot of ways an adaptation of the OG trilogy (as all Star Wars movies are), TFA was trying to get you to think of Snoke as Palpatine — an overlord that survives until the last bit of the last movie and Hux as Tarkin — the non-Force user who is Evil and all but dies b/c he’s too smug and petty.

But neither one of those things were actually true. Because that would position Kylo Ren as the Vader analogue, and all of TFA is dedicated to showing just how wrong that assumption is.

Because Kylo’s not Vader, Hux isn’t Tarkin, and Snoke isn’t Palpatine. Thus, Snoke has to die, because we can’t go into the last third of the trilogy with competing big bads (and no, Kylo and Hux don’t count there, either — Kylo isn’t a big bad at all, unless you think that the Big Bad Villain’s job is to fall for a British honeypot with a lightsaber).

I’ll admit, I was a bit smug when Snoke died and left only Hux alive and kicking out of the Three Bad Guys (as Kylo/Ben isn’t even pretending to be a bad guy anymore), because that’s what I had predicted — a fake-out with a Palpatine-style, force-of-nature villain only to reveal that the real Big Bad was with us all along — a mortal; a cackling madman: General Hux.

PLOTTING WITH PALPATINE

When spoilers first indicated that Palpatine would instead make yet another appearance in a Star Wars film, I was optimistic. Optimistic not in the “hey the Rebels will totally win” sort of way; no, optimistic in the “these kind Jedi will definitely free the slaves and not just take the kid because They Must Deal Kindly With Illegal Slavers”. AKA misplaced optimism rather than genre-savvy faith in the heroes to prevail.

Because actually bringing back Palpatine would be a stupid move all the way around, I tried to figure out why they’d advertise it and not try to hide the bad idea in a Secret Twist.

So here’s where we get the interplay between the Force of Nature and the Cackling Madman.

In a world where the Force exists, it’s easy to imagine that those without it feel rather powerless — or at least overshadowed — when near those who do wield it. Certainly, that’s true for most of Tarkin’s council, and true of Hux. 

Over and over again in TFA and TLJ, we see Hux trying to prove that he’s every inch Kylo’s Equal. Even after Snoke’s death, he uses no deference to the new Supreme Leader and repeats his commands so he can believe that the First Order soldiers are following him.

Hux’s scene in TFA where he’s commanding the troops shows Hux at his finest (and most evil); apart from any Jedi/Sith/Force influence, he is himself to a glorious extreme: the Cackling Madman.

THE CACKLING MADMAN

I don’t use this title to say that Hux is insane (though he’s clearly a bit off) but rather to show the difference between a villain like Hux and a villain like Palpatine. Unlike the Force of Nature villain, a Cackling Madman is usually present over the entire story, seen as a person rather than as a shadowy figure, and is allowed to fail and succeed at multiple times during the trajectory of the story, rather than only failing at the very end when the heroes triumph.

In short, Star Wars has never had, in the movie-verse, a Cackling Madman as the main villain. The prequels play at it for about .5 seconds with Senator Palpatine, but he’s still the Force of Nature, ultimately, just pretending to be a Good Guy.

As the sequel trilogy, is, once again, and like any other SW media, an adaptation of the OG trilogy, I was really excited for this shift in formula — it would play on audience expectation that Snoke would just be Palpatine 2.0, only to reveal — with the proper set up, as shown in TFA and TLJ — that the true villain was there all along, just unnoticed for what he was.

THE FACADE OF THE FORCE

So where would the intervention of Palpatine go in this shift from the formula?

Hux as the ultimate Big Bad would know that he would need the support of a powerful force user — or, at least, the appearance of support of a powerful force user.

And, in the Star Wars universe, you could do worse than to claim the support of (in the EU) the eternally clone-happy Emperor. Hux’s only problem is that the Emperor is dead, and thus not really up to supporting a ginger with dreams of Ultimate Power.

So any support would have to be a facade. And how is Star Wars uniquely equipped to handle facades?

We’re talking holograms, baby.

Holograms of a weakened yet still powerful Emperor — maybe missing a hand or something, a few attacks “directed” by the Emperor meeting wild success, manipulation of the Holograms to say Hux’s name and offer support of him as his Preeminent General or whatever, and Hux has the galaxy at his feet.

IMAGINE MY DISAPPOINTMENT (SPOILERS HERE AGAIN)

And then the spoiler pictures of Palpatine came out and — disappointment was prevalent, but I wasn’t surprised.

The big problem with the Sequel Trilogy is that it has one well-plotted plot line — the main plot line with Rey and Kylo/Ben — and then every other plot line is pretty much left up to the whims of the moment. It’s especially evident in Finn’s TLJ plot line, but it’s present to some extent in every other plot line throughout the two movies currently out.

What Hux should be is the danger lurking in plain sight; the villain seen but not understood, and the evil present but not accounted for. That alone would add a dimension to the Sequel Trilogy that it’s lacking right now — and lacking even more with the advent of Palpatine’s return. Not only would it acknowledge its freedom as an adaptation to play with audience expectation, but it would demonstrate something that both it and the Prequel Trilogy lack: trust in its audience.

THE ULTIMATE CONCLUSION

What RoS should be is a movie that delivers something new but still authentic to the Star Wars universe. Ultimately, that’s all it would take to please the majority of its audience, because those who are watching the ST without having seen any other Star Wars media are few and far between. 

The shame is that what RoS will be is a movie that (wrongly) doesn’t trust its audience to consume  nuanced media, and instead tries to placate them with false advertising (trying to give off the air that RoS will be a trio movie with Finn, Rey, and Poe when everyone knows it won’t be) and with the return of old characters and the descendants of old characters. It’s like adding blue flashing lights to an old snow globe and declaring that you’re recaptured lightning in a bottle.

[a-heart-of-kyber]

God, the scene on the bridge hits so fucking different.

Ben's so good. So innately good. He wanted to go. His puppeteer and abuser forced his will upon him again and made him think killing his father was the choice he needed to make to save himself. To heal his tortured soul.

But his actual nature rebukes the Darkness forced upon him. His Light won't accept what's being done to him. Every time his will is twisted and a choice of darkness is made for him, he hurts more because it's not him.

Like, his soul is literally denying his abuse and it's what's tearing him apart.

And they fucking killed him.

[koohiss]

30 years since the last critically acclaimed movie, but only like, 50 or 10 since the last one, depending on how time works, skywalkers are fucking shit up in the galaxy once more...

Luke’s gone, Leia’s still a badass, the heavy metal empire has been replaced with the emo-lite first order, just as much nazi garbage and none of the impressive capes. Instead they have a giant toddler who stomps around and eats shit on a regular basis and jerks off to his grandpa’s dead face, probably. Fucking weeb. This pilot, Poe, who I honestly don’t feel much of a connection to, sorry, is trying to get this old man to give him a map to Luke so he can come kick ass. But the douchelord Kellog’s Frosted Fuckup shows up and shoots everyone, bc uncle issues or something. poe gets captured, but shoves the map into his magic 8 ball, which escapes and finds a random superhuman jedi lady of amazingly ironic ancestry in the middle of, you guessed it, a desert. She’s Rey, and to quote some ghost guy who once got gutted inside a palace’s weird power dungeon murder hole, she’s probably maybe might be the chosen one for real this time, I swear to the force it’s for real this time yoda. Then, this amazeballs stormtrooper, Finn, has morals and courage and heart and all the things they wanted in wizard of oz, and is like, fuck this nazi shit, I’m out, and helps poe escape. Sadly, they crash, and poe apparently dies but really leaves finn to die in a plothole of a scene that someone in the writers room should be really embarassed over. Finn meets rey, and it’s love at first “oh shit”. It’s all meet cute/meet thief for a second, and then shit starts blowing up sideways, there was hand holding and running and “follow me”s and then the girl in white and the guy with the leather jacket get on the falcon and leave the desert planet. Classic. Speaking of classic, being the collector’s machinery that she is, the falcon breaks down and they get caught in a tractor beam of a larger ship, which conveniently Han and Chewie are on. Two gangs show up, the giant squid-tribbles escape, scooby doo mayhem ensues. They get away in the falcon and nope the fuck out. Spooky the gollum wannabe teases Kyle about Han and he acts like a pissbaby, says it’s nothing. Oh, and I guess he surprises everyone because somehow this giant moronic imbecile incompetent failure came from the pure glorious happy love of han and leia. Fuck you jar jar abrams. Fuck you in the eye. With a lensflare. This bullshit. The gang checks the map and realize it’s borked, Han gives the lowdown on “it’s real” and also that some sick asswipe death-murdered the jedi like some moron trilby with anger management issues because his mom cancelled his xbox live account because he wasn’t getting good enough grades at jedi academy due to playing the sith campaign of some shitty remade SW game with a pretty decent plot that every teen boy over analyzes and gets the wrong take away from. Anyways, they go to Takodana and Maz’s epic castle that was never fully explained. For some reason they need her to find the resistance for them, which I’m like, just have Han wave at a holocam for like, 2 seconds and you will find literally almost everyone except luke because he’s pouting over history repeating itself. So naturally while they are all chilling at the castle, the party splits bc Finn is scared and Rey is gonna go home and Han is just like, eyes roll emoji. Who knows where chewie went, they act like he isn’t a character or something. But twist, the big ol space nazis find them. Rey finds a lightsaber (prolly just a family heirloom or smth, nbd) and bolts after having visions of all these epics ass movies and shit. My beloved young padawan super duper force sensitive jedi in training Finn is given the lightsaber, bc even Maz can tell that those two are always gonna watch out for each other and are obvs soulmates and he’s the best bet to get it to Rey, the inheriting granddaughter. (also, didn’t a bunch of little kids get murdered with that at least once, possibly twice???) As they leave, death star 3 and with a much lamer name but really cool lore blows the everloving shit out of coruscant 2.0, killing a few more characters that I was probably more interested in than Kyle’s boring weepy “my parents dont’ accept me for being an edgelord” lame ass backstory. Then the TIE fighters try to wreck my fave dudes with some weak sauce army, but then that same ace pilot who apparently left finn to fucking die, nbd, true love amirite? brings the party to them in an epic callback with improved graphics. Meanwhile, that boring infant Ronald mcdumbass over here shows up and after a let down of a fight (c’mon rey, shoot him!) kidnaps his cousin. Gets all creepy and makes teenagers with poor romance comprehension (not their fault, imo) think it’s love and come up with all this bullshit as to why they aren’t cousins. Sigh. But Rey, light of my life, is stronger than this woobie weeb, and she makes him have to run back to the safety of his darth vader body pillow, while she up and obi wans her way out of this bitch. The theme-swapped leto-joker looking vastly subpar offbrand trashcan may have padme’s hair, but rey has her climb up random shit abilities, which go a lot farther honestly. (they both have her hit and miss fashion taste so at least there’s that in common you goddamned r/los that’s all i will give you) Mr. Hotshot takes everyone back to Resistance HQ and conveniently brings the drama too, since he followed teeny!leias footsteps and lead a superweapon to the not-so-secret-anymore base. Everyone scrambles, finn kinda sorta maybe lies through his teeth a little so he can rescue rey, leia guilts han because apparently no (coughdudecough) director can write a conflicted and damaged woman who also happens to be strong without making her completely subsume to whichever half of the dichotomy is needed for the current scene… They go to death star 3 and prepare to fuck shit up. Specifically by doing things that have never been done before with no guarantee they will survive and sassing each other mercilessly. My babies. They find rey off being her badass self, and then right at the point where everything has to go to shit to make the third act interesting, some motherfucking emo up and kills my geriatric fave. Fuck you, marilyn manson. Fuck you. Chewie takes the logical next step and blows his fucking guts out with a laser crossbow bolt, AND blows the fucking guts out of his fanboy cosplay of the death star, because fuck you that’s why. So that’s how the dramatic “ur up past curfew” conversation goes, because I can never have nice things, no the precious goth boy has to live, apparently my needs aren’t important to multi-trillion dollar entertainment corporations, whatever. The absolute wrench fucker chases my beautiful darlings around the currently imploding fucking doom orb of stupid, and they waste his ass with amazing shows of jedi prowess. Finn fights him first and the bastard cheats with his fucking laser butterfly knife like an ass, and precious finn who has never trained a day in his life for this bullshit can only hold on so long before the cheating bastard takes him down. Then rey, pillar of light and all that is good, curbstomps his ass with the prowling predator walk of her father and grandfather before her. Suck it, ron. She’s the chosen one, bitch. Anyways, so I guess the bombs let fly boy (only) get inside and pew pew up the place enough that it rejoined it’s godforsaken stop-building-death-moons-they-don-t-work ancestors. Old ghastly jazzhands on the demon projector asks the weasley kid to go pick up kyle’s raggedy strung out ass, like I fucking care at this point. Everybody goes home (AKA chewie saves all of your asses because even if you ignore him he’s still a cool dude like that) and they totally gloss over the deaths of characters I care about to give us this arbitrary fucking scene of the golden cock block and ir3cutesty5u the soccerball annoying r2, who magically wakes up and magically doesn’t nuke their inferior asses and instead gives them the stupid fucking map, why do you even need a fucking map, all you need is coordinates, jesus christ it’s space, you can just plug the fucking three axis code into the computer and float ur ass over why is there a goddamn treasure map to safeway just use the damn gps good god. It’s space. With infinite wifi. Rey and chewie go to this bird shit covered island and find luke sulking, probably about getting bird shit on his suede jedi boots or losing his best friend and failing his nephew and sister and and the entire galaxy or something like that and then the movie ends

[lvsifer]

“Ascension”

[sixth-light]

saw Star Wars: The Last Jedi. Lots of fun moments but I think I was...not in the right place for this movie. 

Mostly it ran a lot too long. I loved Rose to death and her interactions with Finn were great, but that whole casino planet side-trip had about two minutes of plot/thematic relevant material. Benicio del Toro’s character was entirely unnecessary.  And while there’s some good meta on what this movie was saying about failure and heroism...I need a bit more escape in my escapism right now, you know? Ultimately this was a movie where our heroes started out in a desperate but hopeful position and slowly got whittled down until the Resistance is literally however many people can fit in the Millennium Falcon, with a lot of trips to the “so-and-so-is-dead-BUT-WAIT-THEY’RE-NOT” well. 

Additionally, I feel like Finn really got shafted on the material he was given. It didn’t rise a lot past ‘comic relief’ and the arc of deciding he wants to fight the First Order instead of run away, which is an arc he’d mostly completed in the TFA anyway. They didn’t address any of the possible consequences of a child soldier choosing to rebel against his commanders, of other Stormtroopers hearing about what he’d done, they didn’t even contrast him with Kylo Ren. He goes off on his own side-plot, everything about it fails - and in fact causes the Resistance to lose a lot more people - and then there he is at the end in the movie at more or less the same place, except now Rose is in a coma and he’s not. 

And as for the main Force-user plot...Rey is still great - finding her own path - but I spent most of that arc on edge worried they were going to really fuck it up. They didn’t, ultimately,  but I found Rey’s willingness to believe in the possibility of Kylo’s redemption not super-plausible based on her actual experiences with him and the First Order. I think people are right that the focus on Kylo didn’t actually cast him in a good light because he looked increasingly more pathetic; I was just never even remotely invested enough in the possibility of his redemption to enjoy the amount of screentime that storyline got. And I really didn’t like the repeated description of him as a “kid” when by both in and out-universe logic he’s about 30. I mean, it’s consistent with how privileged white men are described when they do irredeemable things, but I don’t think it was meant to be commentary on that. 

Um. Stuff I did like: Luke and Leia’s reunion, Luke’s big scene at the end, Rey enjoying the rain, Rey and the landslide, Poe’s “I’ll hold” routine, Rose’s joy in everything, Finn fighting Phasma and winning, the ‘screw the rich’ discussion Finn and Rose have on Canto Bight, all the women in the Resistance, and as others have said, it was a terribly pretty movie. I just wish I’d been able to trust it more as I watched it. 

[humandisastersquad]

ok but if rey really is a nobody, why in the hell did crylo ron react the way he did in tfa when he said “what girl?!” when he found out how bb8 escaped 

[harpyy]

GIVE ME REY WIELDING A SABERSTAFF OR GIVE ME DEATH

[trueemobrien]

HELPL!! I need reylo spoilers!!

Can somebody please send me the links to everything that got leaked about Rey and Kylo????! I really am dying here!!

[kawuli]

Rey Gets A Physical

Because I’m cranky about doctors, and my feral desert scavenger child definitely needs a checkup and would definitely horrify doctors with bizarre and poorly-treated injuries. (Post-TFA, pre-TLJ)

She’s sitting next to Finn when a man in a white coat and a stern expression comes up and asks, “Rey?”

“Yes?”

“Please come with me.”

“Why?”

“You haven’t been medically cleared, we need to give you a physical.”

“A what?”

The man glares at her like he thinks she’s joking around, then rolls his eyes up toward the ceiling and sighs. “A physical exam. To make sure you’re healthy.”

Rey blinks. “I’m not sick,” she says.

“Be that as it may, we need to do some tests. Please come with me.”

They go to a small, cold room, where the man has her sit in a chair while he fusses around with some kind of little beeping droid, and then he pulls out a needle and syringe and asks for her arm.

“What? No!” Rey says, jerking back. “What’s in there?”

“Nothing,” the man says. “I need to take blood. To test. Please unwrap—those,” he points to the cloth wrapping her arm.

“No,” Rey says.

The man sighs, looks at her carefully, and finally shakes his head. “Okay, we’ll save the blood tests for another time. I do need you to take those off, though.”

He reaches into a drawer and pulls out a shapeless piece of cloth that just might have armholes somewhere in it. “Please undress and put this on.”

Rey looks at it, looks at him. He looks…normal, probably, although the white coat reminds her a little too much of the stormtroopers. “Who said I had to do this?” she asks, part curious and part stalling for time. “I’m not one of your soldiers.”

“General Organa,” the man says. “She asked me herself.”

Rey studies his face, trying to tell if he’s lying. She can’t be sure. “Why?”

He sighs. “I believe her exact words were, ‘That child has probably never seen a doctor in her life, go make sure she’s not going to drop dead on me.’”

Rey considers that. It sounds plausible, from the little she knows about the General. And for reasons she can’t quite explain, Rey trusts General Organa.

“Fine,” she says, and starts getting undressed.

The man stands up and looks away. “I was going to say I’d leave the room,” he says. “But it’s a little late for that. Tell me when you’re ready.”

Rey pulls the shapeless gown around herself and starts unwrapping her arms. “You can turn around,” she says.

He has her get up on the table and lie down, starts checking her over, pressing on her stomach while the little droid floats over her from head to toe, chirping to itself.

The man looks at something the droid is showing him, and when he looks back at Rey his mouth is set in a tight line. “When did you break your arm?” he asks.

Rey shrugs. “I think I was ten? I fell.”

“It wasn’t set properly.”

Rey shrugs. He comes over, feels the bump above her wrist where the bones are misaligned, and sighs. “Okay,” he says. “You have a good deal of joint inflammation in your elbows and wrists, and what appears to be ligament damage in your right knee. Does it hurt?”

Rey thinks about it. “I guess?” she says. “If I have a big haul or a lot of fiddly bits to un-bolt my arms get sore, and I tripped on a buried Tie fighter’s wing a couple months ago and my knee was all red and swollen for a while.”

He looks at her some more. “And the bruises on your arms?”

“That’s why I have the wraps, so I don’t cut myself as much, or get burned on hot metal if it’s been in the sun too long. But you can’t help banging into stuff climbing around the destroyers.”

He looks at the network of thin white scar lines on her forearms. “I…see.”

He looks back over at the droid. Then at Rey. “I really do need a blood sample,” he says. “It won’t hurt much.”

Rey scowls. “Fine,” she says, reaching out her arm. “Just don’t take too much.”

He shakes his head, draws out only a little ampule, and sits back. “I’ll take this to be analyzed,” he says. “You can get dressed and go.”

Rey’s relieved to see him leave, see the door close behind him. The little droid is perched back on its charger, humming a little. “Hey,” Rey says to it, while she’s re-wrapping her arms. It chirps back. “What’s his problem?”

The droid considers this, then a screen slides up out of a slit in the top and displays some kind of list. “Sorry, I don’t know what this is,” Rey says.

The droid warbles a little to itself, then says Injuries. Humans are not supposed to have any.

“What, none?” Rey asks. “Do people here just sit inside and do nothing all day?”

No. They use safety equipment and seek appropriate treatment immediately when injuries occur. You have not received appropriate treatment. Your injuries are consistent with disregard for proper safety protocols.

“Hey!” Rey says. “I got my arm splinted, and I took the speeder everywhere for two whole weeks after I hurt my knee. And I don’t disregard safety. I’m very safe.”

No. Inappropriate treatment. Poor safety protocol. Report to medbay.

“You’re not very bright, are you,” Rey glares, but the droid doesn’t seem to understand.

Report to medbay.

“I’m in the medbay, aren’t I?”

Report for treatment.

Rey sighs. “Look, he said I could go. I’ve got work to do on the Falcon. He can come check on me later.”

Report to medbay.

“Yes, all right, I’m going,” Rey says, standing up. The droid watches until she closes the door, then she looks around, glances guiltily at Finn, and escapes to the Falcon.

[living-in-an-alternate-universe]

Imagine a young Poe Dameron and Ben Solo

I know this is highly unlikely, but I’d like to see some sort of interaction between Poe and Kylo Ren in TLJ

Poe is only ~3 years older than Kylo and their parents were good friends, going on missions together and stuff. It’s easy to see how Poe ended up where he is in Resistance with Leia as his mentor. So don’t tell me that a young Poe and Kylo Ren never crossed paths, whether as friends or simply the children of Rebel leaders.

I mean, imagine it. Poe’s parents even knew Luke. I know there was no acknowledgement between them in any of their scenes in TFA, but what if there was? We all know Kylo Ren has some issues with his mom and Poe is basically like a son to Leia. You have to think he may be jealous of their relationship, Poe being her golden boy and all. And what if Kylo Ren is the one to kill Leia?? Can you imagine the rage and personal vendetta that would arise in Poe??? Especially since he may know that he’s her son. Since he may have known him.

[ask-kylo]

It’s been a long time.

I apologize for my absence; my work has kept me more than preoccupied. Now, as Supreme Leader of the First Order, I have even more to do-including communicating, at General Hux’s insistence, with the Order’s loyal supporters.

Ask. I don’t have long.

[blue-gold-demigod-clouds]

My threories for Star Wars

Ben (Ren) and Ray are twins

Ray was born from the force like space Jesus Anakin

Also remember when the Jedi thought that Anakin was the chosen one to bring balance to the light and dark force? Well Rey is good at seeing the force and where people are coming from both sides of the table. She’s able to see a fuller story and not be influenced by either side. She wants to fight for the light of the force and wants to help bring out the good in people who are turned to the dark of the force

I also think she will be the chosen one to bring balance to the force that the Jedi thought Anakin was going to do.

And if Luke already did it in the 1970s Star Wars then Rey is going to continue this work her story’s time period.

.......................

Spoilers below so let me finish my point of why Rey and Ren are possibly twins

She is the light to his darkness (sun and moon) type of relationship)

Twins run in Leia’s family (hello her and Luke)

How similar Rey is to Solo with her flying skills and a certain type of bluntness to the manner they speak

When Rey, Fin, Solo, and Chewie were running to find Maz Rey said”I never knew the galaxy can be this green...” and was blown away how beautiful the planet is and seeing such plants compared to her desert planet; Solo looked a little saddened with a little guilt mixed into his expression.

Rey has dreamed of being a piolet but where has she had any real experience in piloting a large space craft if she’s been a scavenger her whole life since she was like 7? She did an amazing job when flying the Millennium falcon and idk in the movies they like to have kids inherent skills the parents may have to show their relationship of being child and parent.

Also her name, Rey...ray of sunshine to bring a new hope to the universe to the younger universe.. she could be the ray of sunshine that brings Ben (Kylo Ren) back to the light???

Ok I’m done. Add to what I say or correct me I’m just so curious and if you’re going to add please rage your spoilers or say (hey going to say some spoilers here for the last Jedi) and warm people.

Thanks

[streetsolo]

Poe Dameron Comic #11 Review

So the latest Poe Dameron comic, #11, came out today February 15th and if you haven’t look into it yet, I’d say this is definitely one to pick up. Not much is revealed about the Resistance in this one, I think I can say that without giving away any spoilery things from the comic itself since we all know what happens in The Force Awakens, but there is a really interesting conversation between Agent, er, now Lord Terex and Captain Phasma where she literally plays fashion police with his new armor (yes, really!) and reveals that Kylo Ren himself is now interested in Terex’s recent mistakes (does that mean this comic is going to end with Terex getting a lightsaber through the chest? Yes, please!) 

Another interesting fact that gets revealed is that General Hux can’t actually do anything just yet because Supreme Leader Snoke is currently forbidding open hostilities on the military forces supporting the New Republic, AKA, the Resistance, although no indication is given as to why. Is he waiting for something? Does it have to do with the map to Luke Skywalker? (It’s not mentioned at all in this issue, if you’re wondering.) 

All in all, a really good chapter and a secret about one character is particular is revealed but I won’t spoil that, but yes, it’s probably the one you’re thinking. It leaves a lot of questions to be wrapped up next issue. I’ll be posting some of my edits later so keep an eye out for them. Cheers!!