#POE IS OVERRATED

[incesthemes]

i was tagged by @8x23 :) thank youuuu

Rules: shuffle your 'on repeat' playlist and post the first 10 tracks, then tag 10 friends to do the same.

i don't have an "on repeat" playlist but i DO have a playlist i've titled "playlist" with cover art of two colorful chickens from the buc-ee's bathroom. which is kind of the same thing.

METHOD_IMPLANTA/. - Shikata Akiko

Roll Away Your Stone - Mumford & Sons

Swing Low, Sweet Chariot - Josh Turner

That Don't Impress Me Much - Shania Twain

Father's Lament - Poor Man's Poison

The Milkmaid - The Longest Johns

Maria - Harley Poe

The Northwest Passage - Stan Rogers

Foreigner's God - Hozier

Pique la baleine - The Dreadnoughts

uhhhh tags okay @i-already-know-im-going-2-hell @vampirejohn @captainmicaptain @dandelion-grl @wincestuously-charged @wastemanjohn @saintmarywinchester @overrated-sheep @holyfreaks @hoshimagico yayyyyy

[supoysoup]

fun(?) factx about perdita!!:

-perdita's parents are huge shakespeare nuts and named her after perdita from the winter's tale. she grew up despising shakespeare but mellowed out as she got older.

-she is about 32 years old.

-she started cutting her hair short at around 28 due to some jerk putting gum in it once but she liked the look.

-she dated a guy in high school but it was real awkward. she came out as lesbian in college

-she was more rebellious and angry as a teen but is pretty chill in the present.

-her nickname is perci.

-perci teaches english class at springfield middle school.

-shauna chalmers was a former student of hers. they hated each other's guts

-when shauna moved on to high school, perci celebrated by buying a big bottle of champagne and drinking it all herself

-her relationship with shauna's dad superintendent chalmers was slightly better

-she thinks edgar allan poe is overrated but does appreciate his contributions to poetry and literature.

-besides gothic rock perci enjoys punk, metal and industrial

-perdita dated cecil in high school as part of a dare but it didn't work out at all. they did form an odd friendship but started drifting apart after graduation. perci later came out as lesbian in college and cecil is Gay so yea

-she also once dated patty bouvier very briefly but was turned off by her smoking habits and her love of macgyver (much like bob with selma). patty also wasn't happy with the relationship and they broke up on... not very good terms

-during the short period of dating patty, she met bart and lisa for the first time. she told them that she was the ex of their one time attempted murderer and bob's brother. it was an awkward moment for everyone

-shes kinda a self insert even tho I hate to admit it lmaooo

[tokuvivor]

Hello, my duck-loving friends. In lieu of @violetganache42 providing highlights from last night’s Movie Night (Duckburg Adventures edition), I’ll actually be taking a crack at it.

Chef Donald

Ass shot opening

@shewhowantsmouseears: “This is one of those ‘Donald is trying to live his life and god said fuck you’ shorts, I can tell already”

Trans Donald talk (egg laying)

Waffle misadventures ensue when Donald pours rubber cement into the batter

He’s gonna get his waffles or die trying

Donald’s angry squawk

Taking his anger out on Old Mother Mallard

Seriously, what did she do?

Send in the Clones

@writebackatya comparing the ‘87 theme to Hall and Oates

Breaking the rules of strictly Duckburgian adventures

Poe

Beagle Boys sounding like Meowth

Magica’s voice sounding more Slavic than Italian

Mel and I making references to Natasha from Rocky and Bullwinkle

Dewey’s voice changing?

The Beagle Boys (as the triplets) not wanting to wear their suit jackets

OG Webby!

NO NOT THE DOLL

Webra Walters with the Baba Wawa voice (shoutout early SNL)

Everyone is confused by the clones

“I haven’t eaten in minutes.”

Cracker-snatched

Theme song moment!

Scrooge racism moment

Huey as Chicken Little

Splatter Phoenix is art lesbian Jesus

Another theme song moment!

“Banned!” “That’s my joke!”

Daytrip of Doom!

Missy wanting to smash Scrooge

Webby is scary (and adorable)

Beakley being mad about Scrooge reconnecting with his family

“Ow, my tailbone!”

“Uh…ocupado.” “House meeting. NOW.”

@alex31624 singing the Spanish DuckTales theme

Louie sitting away from the other kids

Dana Terrace!

Beakley’s rules

“Wait, are they gonna kiss?”

Funso’s Fun Zone (“Where fun is in the zone!”)

Dewey definitely taught his brothers to harmonize

Webby autism moments (there are many in this episode, believe me)

Will talking about the parallels between Daytrip of Doom! and Nothing Can Stop Della Duck!

“Unrealistic for children to act like that.” Bitch what

Webby’s first time on a bus

Beagle Boys!

Fuckin’ Timmy Jenkins

Louie showing Webby the ropes

Jane! (Will, you’ve convinced me on just how great she is)

Not water

Jane tries to help Webby

Fruity water

Jane and Gandra are definitely friends

Uke or Puke!

WEBBY KILL

Beakley basically watching a Donald Duck cartoon

HDLW siblings real

Ma Beagle in the house!

Margo Martindale is a legend

Comparison to Mama Fratelli from The Goonies

Episode with ‘87 vibes (this and The Living Mummies of Toth-Ra!)

Webby wants to be normal

“Normal’s overrated.” “We need you to be Webby normal.”

Discussing autistic episodes

DONALD KILL

Webby getting the best of Ma

Donald hug

“I’m on Webby’s team!” -HDL

How did Donald not know Beakley was a spy?

Dough Ray Me

White Fenton jumpscare

@godfrey-the-chaos-duck and Will: “You know what else has an arcade?” “My mom!” “…the server.”

Fenton taller than Scrooge

Ghostbusters reference!

Fenton being voiced by a guy named Hamilton and Hamilton himself

OG Gyro

Lin-Manuel Miranda being a legend for saying this

Godfrey putting the do-re-mi pun together

Gyro being an ass to Fenton in ‘17 is karma for ‘87

Fenton’s vampire look

Minor Fenro discourse

Economics lesson!

HSM reference (status quo)

Nice jail cell

German inflation after WWI

Club Penguin reference (there were a few mentions of Club Penguin last night)

Gosalyn would take advantage of fraudulent allowance

Scrooge is pissed

To the moon (like Della)

Going full Peter Griffin

Beakley needs booze (also, Lady Olivia reference)

Reference to a fic about Scrooge having a mental breakdown regarding his riches (Cape Town, 1913)

Swimmin’ Hole

Summer!

Pete Hate Club is back

He took the swimming hole!

Electric fence

“We killed Holey!”

@violetganache42 and I referencing the Suite Life PRNDL scene

Bambi reference

Mickey is too nice

Who is Gizmoduck?!

Spam’s love for Mark Beaks

Huey helping Donald at the bank

Everyone is threatening Huey tonight

Fenton!

Huey’s big eyes when Roxanne Featherly interviews him

Goldie O’Gilt as a Christ figure

Incompetently dangerous or dangerously incompetent?

M’ma!

Mark and his ship names

The Gearloose Hay Wire

Huey climbing up Gizmoduck

Mark is Jasmine from Aladdin

Fenton’s destiny

“You will be mine.”

Gyro firing Fenton

Waddleduck

Huey being extra

“In the recycling, you monster!”

Mark being racist

That’s not Gizmoduck!

“I am not your amigo.”

More Huey climbing

Fenton sacrifices himself…but he’s alive!

He still can’t get his damn respect from Gyro, though

Waddleduck song in the ending credits!

The Good Muddahs

Webby episode!

No one wants to play with her

Someone please give this child a hug

Beagle Babes!

Why do they have globes on their chests?

Pink gun

They got Webby!

Beakley said “hussies” holy shit

Thugs and kisses…

The cops in this episode are immensely fucking stupid and useless

HIS WEE WEBBIGAIL

Beagle Babes with Webby

They’re trying, and so far, they’re failing

That’s not Cinderella

Okay they’re bonding with her good

Shoplifting list!

Pulling a gun on your sister

@hueberryshortcake: “She has two ladylike charms. Sorry.”

Beakley is pissed

Bubba nose

They found Webby! She doesn’t want to leave, though. But what if…

THEY RUINED HER

Webby with a gun help

Bagel Beebs

The boys driving the car

Beagle Babes reformed…wait, they want to go back to jail

Happy Birthday, Doofus Drake!

Team Magic!

Tempest in a teapot

Missy’s love for Della

Legends of Legendquest!

Goldie!

“Scariest bunny in the pet shop”

Scheme Team ready to go

Huey farming

Della’s snatched waist

Beagle Boys sweep!

Guhmeemama

“Hellowyn, Llewellyn.”

Honey Bin

Percival P. Peppington (knockoff Willy Wonka)

The child! (Boyd)

Glomgold and Sharkbomb!

“Grandma…OW!…super young aunt”

“Hi, I’m BOYD!”

Lester’s Possum Park

The Duke

A wild Launchpad appears!

Goldie’s legs

Glomgold-Sharkbomb fight!

“Don’t tell me what to DOOOOO!”

#You’reAllWet

Boyd and Gumball sharing a VA

Not the farm!

Goku Huey!

Beaks Optimistic Youth Droid

Boyd goes berserk!

“I swore after last year no one’s eyes would melt out of their heads!”

Goldie betraying Louie

Fucked-up Boyd moment, continued

Goldiemama

“It’s over 9,000!”

HUEY KILL

“This is worse.”

Boyd is Doofus’ new brother

Mr. and Mrs. Drake growing spines and punishing Doofus

Accidental Timephoon! reference?

Huey’s in too deep

Louie’s picture in Goldie’s wallet!

And there you go! Better late than never, I guess. I tried to get in as much as I could. If I missed anything, feel free to add.

[fae-iii]

When I get some time alone I have been reading aloud a book of Edgar Allen Poe's complete works. Mainly cuz I want to get better at speaking aloud and get back into books and other goals.

Gotta say, most of this stuff mostly sucks so far! But "The Raven" is not overrated; just got through it. Hoping more of his work is like that from here on out.

[moonrevolutions]

🔥 for literature/books, 🔥 for movies, 🔥 for rp, 🔥 your choice—i enjoy seeing you be a hater

‧₊˚ ☾. ⋅ @guttersniper. meme. still accepting!

🔥 for literature/books.

i am a goth at heart... therefore......... let uz tawk bout edgar allen poe. ' tell-tale heart ' is supa overrated. it's v nice, it really iz, and it's studied 4 good reason but idk gorl. let it go. storywise i muchly prefer ' masque of the red death ' . which is popularr too but still lol. ' the raven ' is also overrated but in a way that like.. muhfuckas wanna wear a black turtleneck and listen to the cure and then. suddenly they think theyre deep in the subculture. bleeeeeeh.

also my real name is raven so i got teased a lot in my circle with references. not me saying a single sentence and ppl saying QUOTH THE RAVEN. shut the fuck up!!!!! ill kill you! to this day my friends tease me.

🔥 for movies.

I Don't Even Care About David Lynch Like That .

🔥 for rp.

im going to be honest. if ur one of those ppl that just rps w. ur clique while ignoring mostly anyone else? deactivate your blog and leave the rest of us the fuck alone. just leave us alone. rp with your stupid fucking clique and leave us alone. stop leaving people hanging because they dont lick ur ass 24 / 7. i hate being mutuals w. someone, seeing they have a clique or a group of lame ass friends, and then trying to squeeze in. just delete your blog.

🔥 omakase—choice of tha chef.

discord is such a shitty, janky ass app. and its so easy to infiltrate. im following several internet dramas and a lot of them stem from like.... hacked discords. why are we using this shit? why? i dont care about rp servers and shit. im from the 90s and 2000s, i can para rp and then (OOC TALK LAWL) at the same time because im not a pussy.

it's clunky, bloated, and has 0 security. can we move to WIRE? or Kakaotalk? Or Line? this discord shit is tired. maybe its the kpop stan in me but asian corpo owned message services with heavy security are superior. sorry.

why the fuck are we still using discord as the standard.

download KKT and LINE and grow up.

[kristsune]

Tag Game: Star Wars. Thanks for tagging me, @thebisexualmandalorian

ride or die ship (your otp): kalluzeb, my boys.

most annoying ship: anyone/jar jar. im sorry but INSTANTLY annoying

second favourite ship: baze/chirrut

favourite platonic relationship: anakin and r2d2

underrated ship: hevy/hardcase yes im promoting my own rarepair

overrated ship: agreeing with jesse on this one: Luxsoka. Why.

one thing i would change in canon: and somehow, palpatine is back. No wait, adding to this. what they did to poe specifically in the third movie made me so bloody angry. i cant believe they did my boy so fucking dirty

something canon did right: also agreeing with jesse on this one, canon isnt THAT bad guys, there is so much good shit

a thing i'm proud of creating for the fandom: the kixystix nickname/the jessix ship name

a character who is perfect to me (wouldn't change a thing): cassian andor

the character i relate to the most and why: i always related to luke, in that im a weird little blonde gay from bumfuck nowhere, that people love to underestimate

character(s) i hate the most and why: zero, that clone that says “oh my god” really just explains it all. (this is all i could think of off the top of my head, im sure there is someone else, but i honestly cannot think of anything atm)

something i've learned from the fandom: ocs are in fact amazing, and you can do whatever you wish with them, and no one can tell you otherwise kind of the same with bg characters that have very few lines cough hevy cough

three tags i seek out on ao3: ngl i rarely search on ao3, solely reading what friends write/rec, but im the biggest slut for h/c

a song i strongly associate with my otp/ favourite character: okay i know i havent mentioned him yet, but i will always associate jd mcpherson’s a gentle awakening with rex because of the fic i wrote for him to that song, and i just. i love it so much, it matches so well

tagging whoever would like to play! and if you dont think i mean you, i do!

[aleksanderscult]

What other fandoms do you follow? I mean in movies, series, book etc etc

Hmm.... Actually I don't follow any fandoms. The debates and discourses are so toxic like you can't believe (*cough HotD *cough*). Honestly the Darkling/Darklina fandom is the only one I'm in (because everyone is amazing and sensible here).

But I can tell you which movies/series/books I like. It's also an opportunity for you guys to get to know me a little since I don't talk about myself and my interests much.😊

Favorite movies:

The Lord of the Rings trilogy (I don't like them. I worship them. I grew up with them and I would die for them)

Pirates of the Caribbean 1, 2, 3 (I don't really like the other two movies. Especially the fifth one)

The Dark Knight (2009). But the other two movies were amazing too.

The Mummy (1999)

Sleepy Hollow (1999)

Crimson Peak (2015)

The Ring (2002)

Scream (1996)

The Woman in Black (2012)

Bram Stoker's Dracula (1992)

Amadeus (1984). I recommend it btw. A wonderful movie with incredible performances that got me into classical music.

Schindler's List (1993)

The Good, the Bad and the Ugly (1966). One of the best movies ever created. Period.

Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade (1989)

King Kong (2005)

City Lights (1931)

A Christmas Carol (2009)

The Hangover (2009)

The Hangover: Part II (2011)

Due Date (2010)

Favorite series:

Merlin BBC

Peaky Blinders

The Musketeers (2014)

Cold Case (2003)

Charmed (1998)

Game of Thrones

House of the Dragon

Vikings (2013)

Gran Hotel (2011)

North and South (1985)

I'm currently watching "Hannibal" which I really, really like and enjoy and "Breaking Bad" which I cannot say the same here. It bores me and I find it overrated.

Favorite books:

Grishaverse (minus the duology)

Harry Potter (fuck JKR tho)

The Mortal Instruments

A Song of Ice and Fire (all the books that this world includes anyway)

Iliad and Odyssey by Homer

Any work from Edgar Allan Poe and Oscar Wilde's and Sylvia Plath's poetry

(I would put PJO but I no longer have any respect for them. Fuck it and the author)

You can also see my interests on my main blog. Whatever else I like, I post it there.

[malleusmaleficent]

unpopular opinion but:

pillars of eternity > BG3

not to say that BG3 isn't excellent but i doooooo think it's kind of overrated. like it's a great game and all but at the end of the day i found it a bit cliche

PoE on the other hand, in addition to character drama and development (which imo is the only thing BG3 does uniquely well), it also has a main story that is both very interesting and also asks some very poignant questions about the purpose of tradition and religion in society. PoE is just more thoughtful i guess

even if it is uh. a much more acquired taste because romance is hardly even a feature and also there's no sex and also the graphics suck so regardless of whether or not you find someone's design hot they still look like shit

also imo the gameplay is just kinda whatever

but the writing is super great, it uses descriptive text to make up for what it lacks in graphical fidelity and it's phenomenal. i can still remember the text it'd use to convey the feeling of falling in your sleep, and how fantastic it was at conveying the sense of scale of the gods when you meet them for the first time

[appalachiannightmare]

I mean, you don't have to. It's not like I know about superheroes anyways so you could probably just make something up. Now I have heard of Edgar Allan Poe. I learned about him in high school. Wait a minute...did you say nightcrawler? Like the worm? Your favorite superhero is a worm? I guess it fits, but I still don't see the appeal of worms.

Really? Well you're talking to one. Not like I really had a choice in the matter. Kinda funny my devil is shaped like a wolf though. Maybe we could go to the zoo. I think there's a zoo here right? I do like wolves. I really loved llamas too, until that damn actress Mackenzie Ross made them overrated. Guess I'm kinda on the hunt for a new favorite animal now. Maybe I'll find one at the zoo, if we go.

Oh god, you're gonna make me choose???? Uh... If we're talking superheroes, I like anything with Nightcrawler in it. I love this one comic series called Edgar Allan Poe's Snifter of Terror- it's like all these funny takes on Poe stories, which is cool. There are a few others by the same people under slightly different names, but they're good.

I love wolves. I've never, like, seen one in the wild, but I love them. Are they your favorite?

[ammcgee-author]

237. Cliché Goth Song

Edgar Allan Poe ain’t got nothing on you,

Because you cry, and you sob, and you drink too much, too –

I want to howl and drink your blood, after midnight,

I want to bury you, and leave you for dead in the moonlight;

I want to do anything in the dark, if it feels right.

Like a ghost ship with a skeleton crew, I want to do everything only if it’s with you,

You’re like an oblong box full of teeth,

Let’s get married and live our lives so happily;

You’re like a mystery that Doyle couldn’t solve, a history of Dupin’s resolve;

You’re like a chess-playing automaton, I’d bet the devil my head that you’re never wrong;

Hop frog

I’d follow you around the world in a balloon, an imp so perverse; but don’t leave me so soon.

In a world where everything feels so untrue,

Fair as a Pharaoh;

You must be a mummy because I want some words with you —

Because Edgar Allan Poe ain’t got nothing on you,

Because you cry, and you sob, and you love too much, too —

I want kill with you,

and be partners in crime;

You’re a nihilist, in a world so sublime;

I want to soak in and absorb your disease,

Slit your hopes, and disembowel your dreams;

I want to do anything that makes me feel free,

When life is just a dull fantasy, of everything we wish it could be —

Like nothing really matters about our lives,

Like Eiros and Charmion,

Living dead in Paradise…

Because Edgar Allan Poe ain’t got nothing on you,

Because you cry, and you sob, and you’d probably cheat on me, too —

Put a hex on you, if a bullet won’t work,

Draw a knife on you, and then go be berserk;

It’s too easy to kill, and so hard to love;

I want to cast a spell, of love potion nine,

Peel you like a orange, throw away the rind;

Love is dangerous, but I ignore the signs…

I’m like a bird on the wing, flying under these raven skies —

Catching up with you because I’m always behind.

Because Edgar Allan Poe ain’t got nothing on you,

Because you cry, and you sob, and I know you’re crazy, too —

Like a cryptogram and a golden scarab,

You talk like an orangutan, but sing a cherub;

You’re so complicated and overrated, I know it makes you happy but don’t ask me;

How ghosts of your past will always haunt you, your friends and enemies will always want you;

I’m game as long as they never catch us, you’re strange in so many ways but you’re the one I trust.

A portrait hanging above your bed, like waking life hanging by a thin scarlet thread…

Because Edgar Allan Poe ain’t got nothing on you,

Because you cry, and you sob, and I know you’re insane for me, too —

A Mason with the jingling bells, a spade and a black cat hiding behind the walls,

Of your heart, beating beneath the floor;

Don’t let me go, because you know that no matter what I’ll always want more —

Like a cathedral in the forest,

They can hide, but they can’t ignore us;

Run if you can, but adore us —

Because Edgar Allan Poe ain’t got nothing on you,

Because you cry, and you sob, and you’d probably kill me, too —

I never know what you’re gonna do,

It thrills me, and chills me… I know it’s bad for me, too.

Edgar Allan Poe ain’t got nothing on you,

But I have to admit, the way it is, baby –

I’m scared of you.

— A.M. McGee

[Notes & thoughts: I tried to fit as many Edgar Allan Poe references as I could in this cliché goth song. The models I was trying to beat were the Wednesday Addams series, and pretty much anything with Vincent Price in it. All goth songs seem to reference Poe in theme or imagery, but sometimes lack the religious, spiritual, and metaphysical depth that his poems and stories had. This song was also inspired by the Goth versus Emo South Park episode, lol.]

[redrascal1]

People still seem to think that TFA - and, gods help me, TROS - are actually better than TLJ.

Okay, we all have different tastes...but TLJ stood out for me because RJ at least tried something different.

TFA was fun, but it was also a rip off of ANH, complete with masked villain, message in droid, hero raised on desert world and planet killing superweapon. TROS was a fanfiction by its overrated writer.

TLJ was a breath of fresh air.

It boasted some of the finest performances I’ve seen in a SW film. The visuals were spectacular. The story had plenty of twists and turns. Most of all, RJ took all of the new characters and developed them beautifully. If he had directed TROS I’m pretty sure that we would have got a battle between two shades of grey military groups...Kylo perhaps trying to do some ‘good’, Poe being willing to get his hands dirty taking him down, Rey and Finn caught in the middle. And just maybe...an ending where the way forward was a ‘grey Jedi’ order and a�� new era for SW.

It still saddens me thinking of what might have been....

[cxffeeshxp]

{{ L }} " Edgy type? Are you the type to call stuff 'problematic' because it makes you uncomfortable? Please, Edgar Allen Poe is overrated anyway, same with HP Lovecraft. "

{{ L }} " Is that what we're calling it now, very well. "

" Depends on how you do it, could make it funny. "

[koohiss]

30 years since the last critically acclaimed movie, but only like, 50 or 10 since the last one, depending on how time works, skywalkers are fucking shit up in the galaxy once more...

Luke’s gone, Leia’s still a badass, the heavy metal empire has been replaced with the emo-lite first order, just as much nazi garbage and none of the impressive capes. Instead they have a giant toddler who stomps around and eats shit on a regular basis and jerks off to his grandpa’s dead face, probably. Fucking weeb. This pilot, Poe, who I honestly don’t feel much of a connection to, sorry, is trying to get this old man to give him a map to Luke so he can come kick ass. But the douchelord Kellog’s Frosted Fuckup shows up and shoots everyone, bc uncle issues or something. poe gets captured, but shoves the map into his magic 8 ball, which escapes and finds a random superhuman jedi lady of amazingly ironic ancestry in the middle of, you guessed it, a desert. She’s Rey, and to quote some ghost guy who once got gutted inside a palace’s weird power dungeon murder hole, she’s probably maybe might be the chosen one for real this time, I swear to the force it’s for real this time yoda. Then, this amazeballs stormtrooper, Finn, has morals and courage and heart and all the things they wanted in wizard of oz, and is like, fuck this nazi shit, I’m out, and helps poe escape. Sadly, they crash, and poe apparently dies but really leaves finn to die in a plothole of a scene that someone in the writers room should be really embarassed over. Finn meets rey, and it’s love at first “oh shit”. It’s all meet cute/meet thief for a second, and then shit starts blowing up sideways, there was hand holding and running and “follow me”s and then the girl in white and the guy with the leather jacket get on the falcon and leave the desert planet. Classic. Speaking of classic, being the collector’s machinery that she is, the falcon breaks down and they get caught in a tractor beam of a larger ship, which conveniently Han and Chewie are on. Two gangs show up, the giant squid-tribbles escape, scooby doo mayhem ensues. They get away in the falcon and nope the fuck out. Spooky the gollum wannabe teases Kyle about Han and he acts like a pissbaby, says it’s nothing. Oh, and I guess he surprises everyone because somehow this giant moronic imbecile incompetent failure came from the pure glorious happy love of han and leia. Fuck you jar jar abrams. Fuck you in the eye. With a lensflare. This bullshit. The gang checks the map and realize it’s borked, Han gives the lowdown on “it’s real” and also that some sick asswipe death-murdered the jedi like some moron trilby with anger management issues because his mom cancelled his xbox live account because he wasn’t getting good enough grades at jedi academy due to playing the sith campaign of some shitty remade SW game with a pretty decent plot that every teen boy over analyzes and gets the wrong take away from. Anyways, they go to Takodana and Maz’s epic castle that was never fully explained. For some reason they need her to find the resistance for them, which I’m like, just have Han wave at a holocam for like, 2 seconds and you will find literally almost everyone except luke because he’s pouting over history repeating itself. So naturally while they are all chilling at the castle, the party splits bc Finn is scared and Rey is gonna go home and Han is just like, eyes roll emoji. Who knows where chewie went, they act like he isn’t a character or something. But twist, the big ol space nazis find them. Rey finds a lightsaber (prolly just a family heirloom or smth, nbd) and bolts after having visions of all these epics ass movies and shit. My beloved young padawan super duper force sensitive jedi in training Finn is given the lightsaber, bc even Maz can tell that those two are always gonna watch out for each other and are obvs soulmates and he’s the best bet to get it to Rey, the inheriting granddaughter. (also, didn’t a bunch of little kids get murdered with that at least once, possibly twice???) As they leave, death star 3 and with a much lamer name but really cool lore blows the everloving shit out of coruscant 2.0, killing a few more characters that I was probably more interested in than Kyle’s boring weepy “my parents dont’ accept me for being an edgelord” lame ass backstory. Then the TIE fighters try to wreck my fave dudes with some weak sauce army, but then that same ace pilot who apparently left finn to fucking die, nbd, true love amirite? brings the party to them in an epic callback with improved graphics. Meanwhile, that boring infant Ronald mcdumbass over here shows up and after a let down of a fight (c’mon rey, shoot him!) kidnaps his cousin. Gets all creepy and makes teenagers with poor romance comprehension (not their fault, imo) think it’s love and come up with all this bullshit as to why they aren’t cousins. Sigh. But Rey, light of my life, is stronger than this woobie weeb, and she makes him have to run back to the safety of his darth vader body pillow, while she up and obi wans her way out of this bitch. The theme-swapped leto-joker looking vastly subpar offbrand trashcan may have padme’s hair, but rey has her climb up random shit abilities, which go a lot farther honestly. (they both have her hit and miss fashion taste so at least there’s that in common you goddamned r/los that’s all i will give you) Mr. Hotshot takes everyone back to Resistance HQ and conveniently brings the drama too, since he followed teeny!leias footsteps and lead a superweapon to the not-so-secret-anymore base. Everyone scrambles, finn kinda sorta maybe lies through his teeth a little so he can rescue rey, leia guilts han because apparently no (coughdudecough) director can write a conflicted and damaged woman who also happens to be strong without making her completely subsume to whichever half of the dichotomy is needed for the current scene… They go to death star 3 and prepare to fuck shit up. Specifically by doing things that have never been done before with no guarantee they will survive and sassing each other mercilessly. My babies. They find rey off being her badass self, and then right at the point where everything has to go to shit to make the third act interesting, some motherfucking emo up and kills my geriatric fave. Fuck you, marilyn manson. Fuck you. Chewie takes the logical next step and blows his fucking guts out with a laser crossbow bolt, AND blows the fucking guts out of his fanboy cosplay of the death star, because fuck you that’s why. So that’s how the dramatic “ur up past curfew” conversation goes, because I can never have nice things, no the precious goth boy has to live, apparently my needs aren’t important to multi-trillion dollar entertainment corporations, whatever. The absolute wrench fucker chases my beautiful darlings around the currently imploding fucking doom orb of stupid, and they waste his ass with amazing shows of jedi prowess. Finn fights him first and the bastard cheats with his fucking laser butterfly knife like an ass, and precious finn who has never trained a day in his life for this bullshit can only hold on so long before the cheating bastard takes him down. Then rey, pillar of light and all that is good, curbstomps his ass with the prowling predator walk of her father and grandfather before her. Suck it, ron. She’s the chosen one, bitch. Anyways, so I guess the bombs let fly boy (only) get inside and pew pew up the place enough that it rejoined it’s godforsaken stop-building-death-moons-they-don-t-work ancestors. Old ghastly jazzhands on the demon projector asks the weasley kid to go pick up kyle’s raggedy strung out ass, like I fucking care at this point. Everybody goes home (AKA chewie saves all of your asses because even if you ignore him he’s still a cool dude like that) and they totally gloss over the deaths of characters I care about to give us this arbitrary fucking scene of the golden cock block and ir3cutesty5u the soccerball annoying r2, who magically wakes up and magically doesn’t nuke their inferior asses and instead gives them the stupid fucking map, why do you even need a fucking map, all you need is coordinates, jesus christ it’s space, you can just plug the fucking three axis code into the computer and float ur ass over why is there a goddamn treasure map to safeway just use the damn gps good god. It’s space. With infinite wifi. Rey and chewie go to this bird shit covered island and find luke sulking, probably about getting bird shit on his suede jedi boots or losing his best friend and failing his nephew and sister and and the entire galaxy or something like that and then the movie ends

[falllpoutboy]

4 types of star wars fans

Type 1: memes the shit out of prequels, probably thinks rey is overrated, worships darth vader or han solo

Type 2: worships kylo ren/ ben solo, overuses the word “redemption” , uses rey as a self-insert, watched tfa all wrong

Type 3: finn/poe/rose/jessika pava stan, gay and/or woke as fuck, hates hux with a passion, finnpoe or finnrey endgame

Type 4: weird mixture of 1 and 3 who actually analyzes the movie after, probably watches clone wars or rebels and probably stans obi-wan, leia, darth maul, or ahsoka tano

[andr0medafallen]

Jogan Fruit

A/N: The first smut piece I ever wrote, heavily revised by yours truly.

Pairing: Poe Dameron x Reader

Warnings: porn with plot, oral (female receiving), somewhat irresponsible drinking, drinking games, inappropriate use of the word "crime syndicate" (not sexual, just stupid), biting, dubious consent (somewhat drunk sex, consented to by both parties)

Description: You live your life by the book. Rules are good. Rules like don't have sex with your Commander. A friend's meddling seeks to change that.

Word Count: 3.5k

“We should play a drinking game,” Corr suggested as you waved down the bartender for another round of jet juice. She did this, without fail, every fucking time you agreed to go drinking with her. It’s no one’s fault but your own, though, for continuously befriending adrenaline junky pilots who are more afraid of boredom than alcohol poisoning or embarrassment.

“What are you, five?” You, personally, are afraid of plenty of things other than boredom. And Corrinth’s god-awful drinking games are pretty high up on that list.

“I’m sorry, since when do five year olds play drinking games?” Corr argued, not even giving you her full attention as she sent a wink in the direction of the server setting down your cocktails.

“I bet they do in Mos Espa,” You mumbled, taking a sip from the sugary blue drink which Corr had ordered for you. Corr always ordered all around the spectrum of the rainbow of alcohol, especially when it contained a tiny paradisiacal umbrella in the sea of artificial sweetener. You certainly couldn’t complain, though, especially when it meant that Corr was paying. Spending credits on your behalf seemed to be the only fail-proof way to get you to go out the night before a big mission, and she knew it. Somehow her judgements about how you worked too hard never seemed to convince you to follow in the footsteps of her spontaneous lifestyle, but you loved to see her wasting money, so here you were. 

“Well that felt targeted with a touch of classism.” You sighed at her antics. Why you would ever choose to befriend the only person from Tattoine who actually likes the planet is beyond you. What kind of a masochist do you have to be to genuinely like Tattoine?

“It’s a crime syndicate.” You defended your honor against her attacks, but you knew that she wouldn’t let the argument go until you decided to play a drinking game, of all things. Like a seventeen year old rich kid in Canto Bight whose parents are on vacation and has the house to themselves for the weekend. And to be clear, you don’t mean that endearingly. You mean it in the sort of way that implies that you definitely don’t want to play a drinking game and hate rich kids and Canto Bight.

“It’s like, not even that much of a crime syndicate,” Corr disputed, plucking the sugary preserved jogan fruit off of her drink and popping it into her mouth. You could practically taste the over-sweet syrup, just by looking at it. 

“That doesn’t even make sense, how can something be ‘not that much of a crime syndicate’? It is or it isn’t!”

“Okay, well how can a whole city be a crime syndicate, that’s not how that works,” Corr complained.

“Oh, fuck me, it’s literally run by a crime syndicate, it might as well be.”

“The Hutts don’t even run it any more sooo… you're wrong, I’m right, let's play a drinking game,” She grabbed her drink and started chugging as if planning to throw back a shot in vindication, but for lack of any near, she settled for the next best thing.

“Kriff!” You snatched the drink out of her hand before she could get herself beyond the point that would ensure that you would have to spend the end of the night holding her hair back for her. “Okay, I’ll play your stupid drinking game.”

“Yes! Truth or extreme truth,” she decided, rather quickly.

“Please, for the love of all things holy, do not make me play that,” you backtracked. Why did you ever agree to play her games again? Stars, caring about people is way overrated.

You know, caring about people. Like how you care about Corrinth, even though she is positively insufferable whenever given the option. Or Commander Poe Dameron, who for some reason is walking to your table with that intoxicating confidence that you wish wasn’t deserved. Commander Poe Dameron who you should not at all care about, or who you should at least care about in a normal, professional manner, if at all. Not that many resistance fighters followed that rule, but you liked rules. Rules such as not caring about your Commander. The kind of rules that protected you, even if they did lead to your flood of anxiety at the mere idea of drinking with the man.

“Play what?” He asked, leaning against the dingy bar table that you were sitting at. You’d seen him coming, but you still nearly jumped out of your skin when he spoke, dulcet tones voiced right into your ear, a symphony accompanied by the silent echo of his warm breath across your skin. He was wearing his off-duty clothes, linen shirt hugging his biceps, and I’m sure you can use your own imagination about the way his slacks hugged his hips. And the crisp scent that must have been pressed to his pulse point only seemed to set you on edge.

“We’re gonna play truth or extreme truth,” Corr excitedly told him, tossing him one of her winning grins. No one could ever kriffing say no to it. Hell, you could never say no to it.

You crashed your head into your arms on the table in an exaggerated display of annoyance.

“Come off it, Corrinth!” You growled, head raising by the neck just to emphasize your irritation; your desperation to not play this game, especially with Poe.

“Wait wait wait wait–” Poe gestured wildly with the bottle of ambrostine he must have picked up at the bar, as if to signal a pause on the conversation. You guessed that his interruption meant that you hadn’t sufficiently convinced either of them to drop the subject. “What is truth or extreme truth?”

Corr smirked, as if she had been waiting for this question since Dameron stepped foot in your vicinity. Or very possibly since she had planned this kriffing “girls night”. Why Corrinth finds it so absolutely necessary to intervene in your love life when she’s got absolutely no need to live vicariously through anyone is beyond you. She’s got a lovely and fulfilling relationship and she’s got plenty of game, but she only ever seems to be interested in getting you to unearth your secret crush.

It didn’t help that Dameron had to create the perfect setup for Corr to open her mouth and reply, “Fuck around and find out.”

This was problematic for a few reasons. 1, Corr had practically issued him a challenge in bright fucking obvious neon lights to choose extreme truth. And 2, While Poe is not the reckless flyboy that many people seem to think he is, the likelihood that he would turn down this challenge was low. Oh, and there is the fact that extreme truth is just an explicitly sexual truth, and the whole game is honestly just a remarkably uncreative spin on truth or dare, so there’s that too. Needless to say, you were not happy.

The grin which Poe returned shot off so many alarm bells in your head that you thought you might explode. Your eyes met over the table as you stared at him, but you quickly turned away, taking a drink of your ‘Jogan Jumper’. 

“Oh, yay!” Corr turned towards you. “You should go first cause you invented it.” Wow. That was definitely a piece of information that your outranking officer and crush did not need to know. You should have just taught her truth or drink. So much for trying to get out of dares.

You rolled your eyes before bringing your gaze up to Corr. “Corrinth,” You gritted out. “Truth or extreme truth.”

“What?” She chided, playing dumb. “Don’t be rude, it’s Commander Dameron’s first time playing!”

Fuming, you turned to Poe, who looked a little confused but good-spirited. “Truth or extreme truth, Dameron?” You asked, voice dripping with a complete lack of enthusiasm.

He smiled, glancing at Corr who gave him the most mischievous look of encouragement that you have ever seen in your life.

“Extreme truth,” He decided. Wow. What a fucking surprise.  While the rules of the game entitled you to cursing any possibility of friendship with your Commander by asking him a question straight from a holovid title, you deigned instead to turn to Corr and glare at her silently, lips pursed.

“Oh, I have a good one!” She chimed in, twirling a strand of bright blue hair around her finger.

“Let’s hear it,” Poe chuckled. Curse him, for being the type of man who didn’t become a modicum less attractive when intoxicated and covered in a light sheen of sweat. It was pure evil, the way his skin glistened, every curve of his beautiful face emphasized in an unfairly beautiful way.

“Out of all of the people in the room,” she smiled at him, “Who would you most like to fuck?”

His eyes flicked to yours momentarily, before fixing on his drink. Looking back up at Corr with a furrowed brow, he asked, “That’s what extreme truth is? It’s just a truth about sex?” He seemed flustered, his tan cheeks covered in a smattering of pink. You were surprised, if anything. He never seemed like the type to get shy about this sort of thing. Embarrassment seemed to be more your cup of tea, but you supposed that even you were wrong every once in a while.

“He doesn’t have to answer it,” You muttered. You nodded your head at his drink. “Just take a swig.”

“Yeah, you could chicken out,” Corr agreed, before turning to you. “He’s probably just scared that we’ll find out he wants to fuck Borsk the fish boy.”

You folded your arms over your chest, giving Corr your best ‘I’m disappointed in you’ look. “Corr, be nice, Borsk isn’t that bad.”

“Uh, yeah, I think that not that bad constitutes not having sex with fish, but whatever gets you going, I mean, I’m not one to judge.”

Before you could argue that that was just a mean-hearted rumor, Poe interjected, “No, yeah, nothing against Borsk, but I’d fuck Black 3.” He said it quickly, rushing through his words as if his mouth was running a marathon. He didn’t stumble over a single syllable, though; it was as if the words lived on his tongue. As if they belonged there. Your eyes widened. The breath caught in your throat. That was you. That was your callsign, there is no one he could possibly be talking about other than you.

At that earthbending revelation, Corr decided it was a good time to pull out her com, screen completely blank. 

“Oh shit, it’s Eida.” It wasn’t even a good lie. You could clearly see the black screen of the communicator. Poking it to mimic answering couldn’t change the fact that it hadn’t beeped and no one had called her. “Hey babe, everything okay? Oh stars, that’s crazy.” You cringed. If Corr was going to be such a compulsive liar, she should probably take an acting class sometime. She took the comm away from her ear and poked it again, as if it had done anything the first time. “Girlfriend’s in trouble. You know how it is.”

Poe actually managed to seem genuinely concerned. It was honestly kind of endearing how he actually believed her obvious lie. “Everything okay?”

“Her comm is off and her girlfriend is in the engineering bay patching droids. Everything’s fine,” you seethed as Corr cheerfully skipped out of the crowded bar. To his credit, Poe did not seem put off by your rude demeanor. Honestly, you didn’t know what it meant for his mental health that he wasn’t.

Still, when Poe looked at you with those warm brown eyes that held so much more than you were ready for, you couldn’t help yourself. In one of the most impulsive moments of your life, you grabbed his wrist, the way you might to save someone from falling off a cliff; Like you were afraid to let go. Your lips met the same way; tongues intertwined, starved for something not quite comprehensible, but now that you’d found it you wouldn’t give it up for the world. Your hands were grabbing at each other both delicately and desperately.

Maybe you were making an awful mistake. Maybe you were about to do something that you would regret tenfold in the morning. But you didn’t care. You couldn’t care, not when his warm hands were on you and you couldn’t even begin to comprehend a world in which this wasn’t a good idea.

When your lips parted (a miserable moment, softened only by the quiet peace of the way your breaths intertwined), Poe grabbed what was left of his liquid courage and gulped it down quickly, as if it was the only thing in the way of him and you. His eyes met yours as he licked the sweet syrup off of his lips and set the glass down with a quiet thunk. There was a certain amount of finality in the noise, like a decision made for the both of you.

He grabbed your wrist in the same desperate way that you had only moments ago. Sweet eagerness and a darker need were palpable in the air as you nearly jogged to keep up with Poe’s quick strides. You didn’t know where you were going, mind fuzzy in a cocktail of excitement and nerves. It finally clicked when Poe pulled out his keycard and fumbled to get the door to his quarters open. 

Your heart skipped a beat; your stomach was butterflies. When he finally jammed the card into its keyhole to a green light and cheery ‘beep’, you wanted so desperately to be able to take in your surroundings. You were expecting janitorial closet, and instead got a peephole into Poe’s own heart. He slept here; this is where he came home to after hard missions, where he hung posters for the shitty bands he listened to. And this is where he decided to take you.

Still, with the warmth of Poe’s body pressed against you, there was nothing you could possibly focus on other than the feeling of his lips on your neck and his hands on your waist.

Your head fell back against the wall as Poe’s soft lips sucked at the junction between your neck and shoulder. There was no restraint, you could practically picture the bruises that would bloom shades of purple in the morning. Somehow the idea didn’t make you even remotely anxious. All you could think about was this man, who found it so easy to let go of safety in the face of his desperation for you.

When a whimper escaped your lips, Poe’s head buried itself into the crook of your neck, the rough fabric of his rec clothing grinding against your hips. You delicately slid your hand between your bodies, pressing against where he needed you most—against what you needed most.

The moan which he rewarded you with was utterly sinful, but it soon warped into a groan of aggravation. “No, wait wait wait.” he seemed almost panicked, but in a relaxed way; as if those two feelings didn’t directly contradict each other. You immediately backed away, confused, your mind doing laps around itself from the aftershocks of anticipation and the current worry of rejection.

Dameron was quick to reassure you, though. Not in words, but in the way his hands grabbed your waist. In the way he guided you to his bed. In the way he gently pushed you back until you were displayed underneath him. His eyes didn’t devour you, but gazed at you like you were a beautiful painting that he wanted to sear into the back of his brain, so that he could see it every time he closed his eyes. It was far too intimate for the one night stand you were well on your way to, but you couldn’t help but crave that sort of affection.

“This okay?” He asked, hands moving to his belt buckle.

“Could be a little faster.” You had meant it as a tease, but it came out breathy and hoarse; a beg for him to give you what he knew you so badly needed.

He smirked down at you and slowed the pace with which his deft hands worked at his belt, teasing you. His goal was quickly forgotten, though, when he heard the whine that had pushed through your lips. It was almost immediate, him kneeling on the bed, just to be closer to you; the way he dragged your trousers over your hips and down your legs as if drinking in every inch of newly exposed skin. 

If you’d been planning on fucking Poe fucking Dameron tonight, you would have worn nicer underwear. Poe didn’t seem to care, though. He licked a stripe over your clothed clit, and your hands flew to his curls. To pull him closer or to push him away, you still hadn’t decided. His beautiful brown eyes looked up at you from between your thighs, dark with lust. Surging up, he attached his lips to yours, warm hands pawing his hands at the hem of your shirt. You melted into him. There is no better way to explain it. Your bodies intertwined, your lips on his, your hands cupping his cheeks. Your bodies only separated momentarily for Poe to drag your shirt above your head before immediately reconnecting. His hands were everywhere, as if he couldn’t possibly get enough. Calloused fingertips touching the soft skin of your breast and providing the delicious scrape of skin to skin that you craved.

It took only moments for you to turn the tables on Poe, using all of your strength against him as you flipped yourself on top, grinding onto his lap. He gasped into your mouth, hands fisting into the crisp white sheets beneath him. Your hips pressed against his, your hands working at his buttons while your lips explored his body. Your hands couldn’t seem to meet the pace of your thoughts, though, and when they couldn’t figure out the closures on his shirt, the only plausible option in your pleasure-drunk head was to tear the shirt at its seams and throw it across the room. 

Poe chuckled at you. “Eager?” It didn’t take more than an extra hard grind of your hips to shut him up, leaving him speechless and gasping for air. He gasped, head rolling back and hitting the wall behind him with a thunk. “You–You gotta stop doing that sweetheart. You’ll make me come before I even take my dick out.”

You slowed the grind of your hips in response, attaching your mouth to one of his nipples in answer. He let you do so for a moment before grabbing your thighs and dragging you down the bed while flipping you under him. You groaned at the loss of control, but your eyes widened with lust as he dragged down your underwear, the last remaining sliver of clothing which had remained on your body.

You propped yourself up on your elbows and watched as he attached his mouth to your clit, big brown eyes staring up at you as he sucked and licked at your core. He probed two thick fingers at your entrance as if testing the waters, and when met with absolutely no resistance, started slowly pumping them in and out of you. 

Poe’s ministrations were persistent, and your moans only seemed to be growing louder. You wondered if his neighbors could hear you, and the thought brought a rush of adrenaline through you.

As you grew closer to your climax, Poe’s name became a chant on your lips, accompanied by the wet sounds of his fingers pumping in and out, in and out. If his neighbors weren’t sure of what the two of you were up to before, they would probably be clued in by this point.

He removed his mouth from your clit, a line of saliva connecting his mouth to your core as he instructed, “I want you to come on my mouth, okay baby?” It was hard to focus on his words when all you could feel was the ache of his fingers inside you and the loss of his mouth on you. It was all you could do to nod in affirmation as you gazed into his eyes.

“Say it,” he prompted, slowing his pumping fingers.

“Yes. Yes Poe, I’ll–Just put your mouth back on me, I’ll come, just–” He cut you off by reattaching his mouth and speeding his teasing fingers. It wasn’t very long after that before your stomach tightened and your pussy began to clench around him, hips grinding onto his face as your orgasm tore through you, eyes rolling back, even as Poe’s tongue persisted. There was a cascade of fireworks clouding your vision as your body spasmed from pleasure.

When you finally relaxed into the mattress and Poe removed himself from your core, it was only mere moments before you felt Poe’s lips on yours, tasting yourself on his tongue, plus the sweet remnants of the Jogan Fruit.

When he removed his lips from yours, you opened your eyes to find him grinning down at you.

“You up for round two?”

[lesvegas]

As someone who didn't know FUCK ALL about the kind of game PoE is but now loves the series, heres my tips.

1.) Easiest class to play is Monk. You manage very little skills and stats. This means you can manage your party members better and even if you don't understand their classes you'll kick ass as a monk.

2.) The first game is a Kickstarter game. There's a LOT of NPCs who's souls you can see and read into. There were written by Kickstarter backers. If you wanna read em, cool. But you absolutely don't have to and it won't affect your knowledge of the game world. The same goes for some of the signs and posts in the game.

3.) Resolve is the closest this game has to speech.

4.) As a monk you can really overrely on yourself for dps so have fun with your party comp! Just always have a healer.

5.) Live blog somewhere cuz uhhh I wanna read it.

i may liveblog. i *could* stream it but idk if it looks fun to watch