#Sabella speaks

[getting-messi]

Why this moment is so big for Ángel Di María

It was the morning of the 2014 World Cup Final, at exactly 11 a.m., and I was sitting on the trainer’s table about to get treatment. I had torn my thigh muscle in the quarterfinals, but with painkillers, I could run without feeling anything. I told our trainers these exact words: “If I break, then let me keep breaking. I don’t care. I just want to be able to play.”

So I was putting ice on my leg when our team doctor said, “Look, Ángel, this paper came from Real Madrid. They’re saying you’re not in any condition to play. So they are forcing us to not let you play today.”

I didn’t even open it. I just ripped it into pieces and said, “Throw it away. The one who decides here is me.”

It is impossible to explain the feeling you have on the night before a World Cup Final, when everything you ever dreamed about is right in front of your eyes. I sincerely wanted to play that day even if it ended my career. But I also didn’t want to make things complicated for our team.

I told Mr. Sabella sincerely, with my hand on my heart, that he should put in the player that he felt he had to put in.

I said, “If it’s me, it’s me. If it’s another, then it’s another. I just want to win the World Cup. If you call on me, I will play until I break.”

And then I started crying. I couldn’t help it. The moment had overwhelmed me.

Sabella announced that Enzo Pérez was going to start, because he was 100% healthy. I was at peace with that decision.

We lost the World Cup, and I couldn’t control anything. It was the most difficult day of my life.

What still haunts me is the moment when I went to speak to Sabella, and I broke down in tears in front of him. Because I will always wonder if he thought that I was crying because I was scared.

I was overcome with emotion because of how much the moment meant to me. We were so close to achieving the impossible dream.

Excerpts from his 2018 players tribune article

[everythingtoony]

MADE A TIRE LIST WITH LION KING CHARACTERS FROM THE ORIGINAL MOVIE AND THE SEQUEL LETS GO OVER MY CHOICES!!

S tier: Timon, Pumbaa, Nuka, Rafiki, Scar

Timon and Pumbaa- I feel like this one is an obvious choice tbh, at least for me! I adore these two, they are extremely gay, and I just love the contrast between their two personalities. Timon is impulsive, reckless, and can be loud and rude at times. Meanwhile, Pumbaa is the literal definition of a sweetheart. He's kind, loving, and although he may be oblivious at times he can actually be quite smart in his own way.

Nuka- Ah, where to start with this loopy boi... he is such a dummy, and I mean that in the most affectionate way possible. He's got a few screws loose in his brain, and he can be very jealous of his younger brother Kovu. And while his selfishness ends up being the thing that kills him, he's got a very endearing personality, and I just adore how dumb he is!!

Rafiki- I'm just going to start by saying rest in peace to Rafiki's voice actor, he brought this character to life in the best way possible, and I am so glad he gave this monkey as much personality as he did. He is very wise, yet can come off as confusing to others. She can actually be quiet sarcastic when he wants to be, and he has outbursts that I find quite funny. I also love it when he just casually hit Simba on the head with a stick with no warning. And in the second movie, when Mufasa's spirit talks to Rafiki, suggesting that Kovu and Kiara should get together, Rafiki loses his mind, it is the funniest thing ever. I also quote him on a daily basis, he's actually one of my favorite characters!

Scar- he was actually my favorite character before I realized that I may like Timon and Pumbaa a little more... but! That does not mean I still don't love him. Scar is my favorite Disney villain ever! I just love his menacing personality, and I think Disney knew what they were doing with his design and voice, because come on, you can see it in the animation. Jeremy Irons voices Scar and I think he did an excellent job on the character. And at one point Jim Cummings had to take his place in the end of Be Prepared, and you can barely notice the difference. The only noticeable thing is that Scar's voice sounds more vicious and chaotic. I really love this character, and he is the last one to go in S tier.

A tier: Ed, Banzai, Shenzi, adult Simba, Zira, adult Nala, young Simba

The hyenas- I don't think I need to say too much about these guys, they pretty much speak for themselves. I think I tend to lean towards chaotic trios and Duos. The hyenas are actually extremely hilarious, and I find their Antics quite funny.. in fact, these hyenas are probably the reason why Timon and Pumbaa exist. Nathan Lane and Ernie Sabella originally auditioned for the hyenas, but they loved their dynamic so much that they created two characters just for them, Timon and Pumbaa! I adore the way the hyenas talk to one another, and I think that their dynamic is so cool to watch

Adult Simba- Okay, bear with me here. This list gave me young and adult versions of a lot of the characters, including Simba, Nala, Kiara, Vitani and Kovu. I mainly placed them on the list based on their personalities, because they have two very different personalities... I might like an adult version more than a younger version, or vice versa. With that out of the way, I'm going to talk about adult Simba. I actually really like the way his character was evolved in the first movie, and while he's kind of a jackass in the second movie, he gets better in the end. I think it might also have something to do with his voice, both speaking and singing. I just really like Simba.

Zira- Her obsession with Scar is actually so important to this movie, it's not even funny. In the deleted scene of her death, she says and does a little more than she does in the final scene. Either way, she chose death, because the only thing she wanted was to be with Scar. She would've rather died than be helped out by those she thought she had been hurt by. I think her whole motive is a little strange, but I understand where she's coming from. I think the only thing I don't like about her is how she treats Nuka. She only cared about him in the end when he died. My stupid baby boy did not deserve any of the treatment that came from that woman. Either way, I still think she's a great villain. Scar is way better, but Zira is second place

Adult Nala- This lioness is one of the best moms I've ever seen. I was unsure about where to place her at first, because of the way she reacted with Simba in the first movie...I don't like how pushy she was with her. But like Adult Simba in the 2nd movie, Adult Nala got better by the end of the first movie, and I think she was great in the 2nd one. She saw Kiara, and knee she wanted freedom. She understood that, and tried to help Simba understand as well.

Young Simba- Finally, this little shit is the last to be on the A tier. He's absolutely adorable, but he's constantly getting himself in trouble. He's energetic and just wants to be like his father, but JEEZ, SIMBA WHEN HE SAYS DONT GO TO THE SHADOWY PLACE IT MEANS DONT GO! I think his voice is adorable, and he was super close with Mufasa, which made Mufasa's death so much sadder. Either way, Young Simba is great. Not my favorite, but he's cute.

B tier: Adult Kovu, Zazu, Adult Kiara, young Nala, Mufasa

Adult Kovu- He's pretty nic

e looking, and I love how he's eventually taught how to let go and have fun. I also love how he decided to go against Zira's plan in the end, although he was going to do it at first. And of course, Scar was a heavy influence that he was taught to look up to as a cub, he didnt know about the blackness in his soul. Other than that...yeah, I think he's a meh character. I certainly don't hate him, but he's definitely nit my favorite.

Zazu- He's so snooty and I love him, but he played such a small role in the 2nd movie, and it made me sad when I didn't hear Mr. Beans voice. I think he's kinda in the middle because he's not really anything special. Yes, he's smart, witty, and can be rude at times, but he's also extremely overbearing and it kinda annoys me sometimes. Either way, he's a good character, just not my favorite.

Adult Kiara- Ehh...I like her voice, and the way she stops the war at the end of the 2nd movie by making Simba eat his own words was pretty good...but she's kinda meh. She was quite annoying sometimes, and Imma be honest, her laughing is fake as he'll. But I do like how she has the same energetic spark in her soul that Simba once had. I think that's cool.

Young Nala- Again...nothing really special...yeah, she's sassy and witty, but other than that...she doesn't really do a whole lot. Her adult self does way more than her younger self.

Mufasa- He's a really good dad, but he did let Simba go off on his own constantly. And I think he definitely deserved more screen time, because he's such a good father. But now he's dead, so oh well.

C tier: Sarabi, Adult Vitani, young Kiara, young Kovu

Sarabi- Okay, getting to the ones I'm really kinda "meh" about. Sarabi didn't do much...I do like jer personality, but the only thing exciting on screen was when Scar hit her across the cave. I don't really have a lot to say about her.

Adult Vitani- ehhh...she joined Simba's side in the end, but other than that, dhr really didn't do much, either. I do like her personality, and her and Nuka's dynamic was funny, but other than that, she's mid.

Young Kovu and Kiara- dislike these two but not enough to put it in D tier..they're just...there for story, I guess. They're eh.

D tier: Young Vitani

Don't come at me but I don't like Vitani that much. She's just there to be the "voice of reason" between her and Nuka. I don't have much to say on her.

Well, that's it, there's everything. I'm gonna take a nap.

[a-man-for-hire-and-his-archives]

The law in language: Rarriwuy Hick's groundbreaking TV role

Despite over a decade in the entertainment industry, 'True Colours' is a career first for Yolngu woman Rarriwuy Hick who plays bilingual Arrernte detective Toni Alma.

Actor and activist Rarriwuy Hick loves language.

But in her 13 years on screen, Ms Hick has never actually spoken language. Until now.

The Yolngu woman takes on the role of Toni Alma in NITV’s upcoming drama series True Colours.

Alma, an Arrernte detective is sent to the fictional community of Perda Theendar in the Northern Territory to investigate the death of a young Aboriginal girl in a suspicious car accident.

Learning language

The series sees Ms Hick and other cast members move freely between Arrernte and English.

Flying to Alice Springs a month before filming, Ms Hick was taught language by Arrernte and Warlpiri woman Marie Ellis.

“She is fierce, cheeky and funny. But not afraid to growl at me. What you need in a teacher, just that real aunty energy,” laughed Ms Hick.

"She was so generous, she just wanted to best for me and believed in me. It was so hard and even in times when I was worried I'd get it wrong or screw up, she always reassured me.

"She was my rock, and when either of us became overwhelmed with it – we had each other to get through.”

Ms Hick speaks her own language, Yolngu Matha, which helped her grapple with learning Arrernte.

"We didn't really use much English in that space,” she told NITV.

"You can't use English words for Aboriginal language sometimes, it's hard to translate that. I just couldn’t feel it in my spirit.

“So, there was a beautiful exchange happening. When she was teaching me Arrernte, I would translate it to Yolngu Matha.

"By the time we were filming, I felt like a desert girl. I was speaking Arrernte whenever I could because I wanted to, it's a beautiful language to listen to, it's a beautiful language to speak.”

Rarriwuy Hick (right) with True Colours series creator Erica Glynn (left) on set.

A Territory girl's dream role

For Ms Hick, the day producers called about True Colours was a dream come true.

"I'm an NT girl and have been acting for 13 years now. I have been dying to do a job in the Northern Territory. This opportunity came up and I knew I was in,” she said.

"This is the first time in Australia we're going to see on the screen a bilingual Aboriginal female detective."

Detective Alma is sent back home to investigate the girl's death. What follows is a complex mix of culture, identity, and the hardships of living in two worlds.

"You'll see Toni be challenged and sometimes frustrated with being a Blak woman in a very white space," she said.

“Whether that is being a detective and finding the challenges of how complex our families can sometimes be and the issues that surround the relationship between police and Aboriginal communities.”

Culture and community on-screen

The series delves into cultural customs and law.

"It's so important that we finally have these opportunities to talk about our very old and ancient laws... There are so many layers to our law, to our culture and custom,” said Ms Hick.

“It’s a complex system. I’m really excited to showcase that and see that portrayed on screen.”

While she has over a decade of experience in the entertainment industry, many of those cast alongside her made their acting debut in the series, including many Alice Springs community members and Arrernte people.

The cast includes Senior Arrernte Elder Sabella Kngwarraye Ross Turner, Arrernte woman Natalie Pepperill, 18-year-old Arrernte and Waayni woman Janaya Kopp, Arrernte man Grant Wallace, Siobhan Breaden, Kurt Abbott and Arrernte man Warren H. Williams.

Rarriwuy Hick plays Toni Alma, alongside co-star Luke Arnold as Nick.

Setting a standard

Country music star and radio personality Warren H. Williams co-created True Colours alongside writer and director Erica Gylnn.

The series was a ten-year labour of love, and, according to Ms Hick, sets a new standard on how to incorporate Indigenous people, perspectives and practices into filming.

"This story belongs to Arrernte people, it's their story,” said Ms Hick.

“There were Blackfullas everywhere, in every single department. That in itself was really important.”

Ms Hick said that in the creation of the series, culture was prioritised and respected.

"There are complex kindship systems within the show but that was present offset as well.

"Making sure that there were the right actors in roles, there are some people that Warren H. Williams couldn't speak to so they had to cast someone who he could, culturally, speak with,” she explained.

"We're bringing in cultural custom into a film industry environment. It's the first time in my 13 years of acting that I've seen that. 

"That was exciting to know that we can actually do that. It is possible that we can work in both worlds and have our culture in these different spaces.”

Ms Hick said it set a precedent for how the industry can move forward and continue doing things “in culturally, the right way”. 

Date to debut

True Colours is a co-commission by NITV & SBS – the perfect home for the series, according to Ms Hick.

“You know how they have Netflix Originals, this is an NITV Original... I love NITV, my family and I are always watching it and I’m really excited that this is going to be its home,” she said.

Ms Hick hopes that the show can not only showcase the importance of daily cultural practice, but the “struggles we face trying to live in two worlds that are so different to each other”. 

"For Arrernte people, I hope that they watch it and are proud to see their families on screen, their stories being told and hearing their language," she said.

“One of the biggest things I’ll take away from True Colours is the talent we have here in Australia...

"I hope the world gets to see that, and all of Australia. We need to keep encouraging our stories, and especially First Nations stories.”

Rarriwuy Hick with co-star Luke Arnold on set in Central Australia. Source: NITV/SBS

True Colours premieres Monday 4 July at 8.30pm on NITV & SBS

[influencermagazineuk]

Steffiana de la Cruz: The Queen by Kevin James' Side

Image: IMDB / Steffiana de la Cruz Steffiana de la Cruz, known as the beloved wife of actor and comedian Kevin James, has carved her own place in the spotlight with her grace, charm, and talents. Born in the early 2000s, their love story has captured the hearts of many, blossoming into a beautiful union that has stood the test of time. Their journey began in 2001, when James and de la Cruz were set up on a blind date. Sparks flew instantly, and their connection only deepened as they embarked on a journey of love and companionship. Their relationship flourished over the years, culminating in a heartfelt proposal in October 2003. The couple exchanged vows on June 19, 2004, in a picturesque ceremony surrounded by family and friends. Their love-filled celebration was a testament to their unwavering commitment to each other, with James visibly nervous yet overjoyed to begin this new chapter of their lives together. Since then, their love has only grown stronger, evidenced by the arrival of their four beautiful children. Sienna-Marie, Shea Joelle, Kannon Valentine, and Sistine Sabella complete their loving family, bringing joy and laughter into their home each day. Despite their busy lives in the entertainment industry, James and de la Cruz prioritize their family above all else. Their children bring them immense pride and joy, with James often drawing inspiration from his real-life experiences when creating his iconic characters. De la Cruz's own talents shine through in her acting career, where she has graced both the big and small screens with her captivating performances. From roles in "The King of Queens" to appearances in "Paul Blart: Mall Cop" and "Zookeeper," her versatility as an actress is truly remarkable. But beyond her professional achievements, de la Cruz is cherished for her warmth, kindness, and unwavering support for her husband. Their enduring love and mutual respect serve as an inspiration to many, reminding us all of the power of love and devotion. While de la Cruz prefers to keep a low profile on social media, James often takes to Instagram to share heartfelt tributes and sweet moments with his beloved wife. Their love story continues to captivate audiences worldwide, proving that true love knows no bounds. As James humorously quips in his comedy specials, their bond transcends words, with gestures and glances speaking volumes of their deep connection. Together, they navigate life's ups and downs with grace and humor, standing as a shining example of love's enduring power. Read the full article

[futureailist]

Dictanote - Make your Voice Type for You In today's fast-paced digital world, productivity is the name of the game. Whether you're a writer, student, or professional, the ability to quickly and accurately transcribe your thoughts and ideas is crucial. That's where Dictanote comes in, revolutionizing the way you take notes and work with its seamless integration of speech recognition. The Power of Voice Typing Dictanote is not just another notes app; it's your personal transcription assistant. With its powerful speech recognition technology, Dictanote allows you to effortlessly switch between using your keyboard and your voice to type out notes. Say goodbye to tedious manual typing and hello to a smarter and more efficient way of working. Real-Time Transcription, Your Way Dictanote accurately transcribes your speech to text in real-time, with an impressive accuracy rate of over 90%. Whether you're jotting down meeting minutes, crafting an essay, or composing an email, you can add paragraphs, punctuation marks, and even smileys using voice commands. It's like having your very own personal typist, always at your service. Multi-Lingual Support Dictanote is a global tool, supporting speech recognition in over 50+ languages and 80+ dialects. No matter where you're from or what language you speak, Dictanote has you covered. Voice Commands and Keyboard Shortcuts Dictanote goes beyond simple transcription. It empowers you with voice commands to insert punctuation, technical terms, and correct mistakes effortlessly. Plus, the integration of keyboard shortcuts makes starting and stopping dictation a breeze, allowing you to easily switch between languages. Join the 200,000+ Satisfied Users Don't just take our word for it – join the growing community of over 200,000 satisfied Dictanote users. Here's what some of them have to say: "I didn't think it was true, but I believe this works better than any other app. Use it every day. It's fantastic." - Russell Sabella "This is a Great Web App to speak to text for my Windows Laptop. Easy to use and save your notes." - Phil H "Really great app and so easy to use. I could use it right away without any training time and best of all, it recognizes my Indian accent also." - Sanjay Rana "This is one of the best dictation apps out there. I have to say this is a must for any writer or journalist who needs an accurate and powerful dictation app." - Music Factory Studios "This is a fantastic application, it works flawlessly on Linux, and is a great alternative to Dragon Naturally Speaking." - Darian Brown "I have been using Dictanote for some time now, and I can say that it really helps me in my day-to-day meetings. I don't need to save my work from time to time since the app does it for me already. Moreover, I can access my work anytime, anywhere." - Louwelyn Andal Your Privacy Matters Dictanote takes your privacy seriously. All your notes are securely encrypted on Dictanote servers. Rest assured that your audio is not stored or processed; Dictanote relies on Chrome's speech-to-text API to convert audio to text.

[rmfantasysetpieces1]

Bless you  Di MAria, I thought MEssi was wise but he isn’t. Go out on top. Every single athlete that stayed beyond their time in all sports falls hard. People don’t remember Jordan at the washington wizards. AROD at the Yankees after the final contract extension. Know when to hold, know when to fold.

In the Rain In the Cold, In the Dark 

from Angel Di Maria

I remember getting the letter from Real Madrid and tearing it up before I even opened it.

It was the morning of the 2014 World Cup Final, at exactly 11 a.m., and I was sitting on the trainer’s table about to get an injection in my leg. I had torn my thigh muscle in the quarterfinals, but with painkillers, I could run without feeling anything. I told our trainers these exact words: “If I break, then let me keep breaking. I don’t care. I just want to be able to play.”

So I was putting ice on my leg when our team doctor, Daniel Martínez, came into the room holding this envelope, and he said, “Look, Ángel, this paper came from Real Madrid.”

I said, “What are you talking about?”

He said, “Well, they’re saying you’re not in any condition to play. So they are forcing us to not let you play today.”

I immediately knew what was happening. Everybody had heard the rumors that Real wanted to sign James Rodríguez after the World Cup, and I knew that they were going to sell me to make room for him. So they didn’t want their asset to be damaged. It was that simple. That’s the business of football that people do not always see.

I told Daniel to give me the letter. I didn’t even open it. I just ripped it into pieces and said, “Throw it away. The one who decides here is me.”

I had not slept much the night before. Part of the reason was that the Brazilian fans were setting off huge fireworks outside of our hotel all night long, but even if it had been completely quiet, I don’t think I would’ve been able to sleep. It is impossible to explain the feeling you have on the night before a World Cup Final, when everything you ever dreamed about is right in front of your eyes.

I sincerely wanted to play that day even if it ended my career. But I also didn’t want to make things complicated for our team. So I woke up early that morning and went to see our manager, Mr. Sabella. We had a very close relationship, so if I told him that I wanted to start, I knew that he would feel the pressure to put me in. I told him sincerely, with my hand on my heart, that he should put in the player that he felt he had to put in.

I said, “If it’s me, it’s me. If it’s another, then it’s another. I just want to win the World Cup. If you call on me, I will play until I break.”

And then I started crying. I couldn’t help it. The moment had overwhelmed me.

When we had our team talk before the match, Sabella announced that Enzo Pérez was going to start, because he was 100% healthy. I was at peace with that decision. I treated myself with an injection before the match, and again during the second half, so that I would be ready to play if I was called from the bench.

But the call never came. We lost the World Cup, and I couldn’t control anything. It was the most difficult day of my life. After the match, the media were saying ugly things about why I didn’t play. But what I’m telling you is the absolute truth.

What still haunts me is the moment when I went to speak to Sabella, and I broke down in tears in front of him. Because I will always wonder if he thought that I was crying because I was nervous.

In truth, it had nothing to do with nerves. I was overcome with emotion because of how much the moment meant to me. We were so close to achieving the impossible dream.

The walls of our house were supposed to be white. But I never remember them being white. At first they were grey. Then they turned black from all the coal dust. My father was a coal worker, but not the kind in a mine. He actually made charcoal in the back of our house. Have you ever seen charcoal being made? The little bags you buy in the store for your barbeque, they come from somewhere, and honestly it’s a very dirty business. He used to work under this tin roof on our patio, bagging up all the pieces of charcoal to sell at the market. Well, it wasn’t just him. He had his little helpers, too. Before school, me and my little sister would wake up to help him. We were only like nine or 10 years old, which is the perfect age for bagging charcoal, because you can turn it into a little game. When the coal truck would come, we had to carry the bags through the living room and then out the front door, so our house basically turned black over time.

But that was the way that we put food on the table, and the way that my father had saved our house from being taken away.

See, for a little while, when I was a baby, my parents were doing well. But then my father had tried to do a good thing for someone, and it changed our lives. A friend asked him to sign as a guarantor for his house, and my dad trusted him. The guy ended up falling behind on his payments, and then he just disappeared one day. So the bank went straight to my father. He was stuck trying to pay for two houses, and feed his family.

His first business wasn’t actually charcoal. He had tried to turn the front room of our house into a little store. He would buy these big drums of bleach, chlorine, soap and all this cleaning stuff, and then he would divide it up into these little bottles of products and sell them out of our dining room. If you were living in our town, you didn’t go to the store to buy a bottle of CIF. That was way too expensive. You would just come see the Di Marias and my mom would sell you a bottle for a much better price.

It was all going pretty good until one day, their baby boy ruined everything by almost getting himself killed.

Yes, it’s true, I was a little son of a bitch!

I wasn’t really bad, but I just had so much energy. I was hyperactive. So one day my mom was selling in our “shop,” and I was in the walker playing around. The front gate was open so that the customers could come in, and my mom got distracted, and I started walking … I wanted to explore!

I walked right out into the middle of the street, and my mom had to sprint out to save me from being hit by a car. Apparently, it was pretty dramatic, from the way she tells it. That was the last day of The Di Maria’s Cleaning Shop. My mom told my dad that it was too dangerous, and we needed to find something else.

So that’s when he found out about this guy who would bring the coal trucks down from Santiago del Estero. But the funny thing is that we didn’t even have enough money to sell coal! My dad had to convince the guy to front him the first few shipments. So, whenever me or my sister wanted some candy or something, my dad loved to say, “I’m paying for two houses and a truck full of coal!”

I remember one day I was bagging up the charcoal with my dad, and it was really cold and raining. All we had was the tin roof over our heads. It was very hard. After a few hours, I got to go to school, where it was warm. My dad had to stay out there working, all day. Because if he didn’t sell that day, maybe we wouldn’t have enough to eat, seriously. But I remember thinking to myself, and sincerely believing it: At some point, everything is going to change for the good.

For this, I owe football everything.

Sometimes it pays off to be a little son of a bitch! I started football early, because I was driving my mother crazy. She actually took me to the doctor when I was four years old, and she said, “Doctor, he never stops running around. What do I do?”

And he was a good Argentine doctor, so of course he said, “What do you do? Football.”

So I started my football career.

I was obsessed. It’s all I did. I remember that I played so much football that every two months, my boots would literally break apart, and my mother would glue them together with POXI-ran, because we didn’t have the money to buy new ones. When I was seven years old, I must have been pretty good, because I scored 64 goals for my neighborhood team, and my mother came into my bedroom one day and said, “The radio station wants to talk to you.”

We went down to the station so they could interview me, and I was so shy that I could barely speak.

That year, my dad got a phone call from the youth coach of Rosario Central saying that they wanted me to play there. This was actually a very funny situation, because my father is a huge supporter of Newell’s Old Boys. My mother is the huge supporter of Central. If you’re not from Rosario, you can’t understand how passionate this rivalry is. It is like life and death. When the Classic was on, my mother and father would be screaming at the top of their lungs with every goal, and the winner would taunt the other one for a whole month about it.

So you can just imagine how excited my mom was when Central came calling for me.

My dad said, “Oh, I don’t know. It’s too far away. It’s nine kilometers! We don’t have a car! How will we get him there?”

And my mom said, “No, no, no! Don’t worry, I’ll take him! It’s no problem!”

And that is when Graciela was born.

Graciela was a rusty old yellow bicycle that my mother would use to drive me to training every day. It had a little basket in the front and a space for another person to sit in the back, but there was a problem, because my little sister had to come with us, too. So my father made this little wooden platform and attached it to the side of the bike, and that’s where my sister would sit.

So just imagine this: A woman biking through town with a little boy on the back and a little girl on the side, and a kit bag in the basket with my boots and some snacks. Up hills. Down hills. Through the dangerous neighborhoods. In the rain. In the cold. In the dark. It didn’t matter. My mother just kept pedaling.

Graciela got us where we needed to go.

But, the truth is that my time at Central was not easy. In fact, I would have quit football if it were not for my mother. Twice, in fact. When I was 15, I was still not growing, and I had a coach that was a bit nutty. He preferred players who were physical and aggressive, and that was just not my style. One day, I didn’t jump up for a header in the box, and at the end of training, he gathered all the players around and then he turned to me …

He said, “You’re a wussy. You’re a disgrace. You’re never going to amount to anything. You are going to be a failure.”

I was devastated. Before he even finished, I started crying in front of all my teammates, and I ran off the field.

When I got home, I went straight into my room to cry alone. My mother knew something was wrong, because every night when I got home from training, I would go and play more on the street. She came into my room and asked what was wrong, and I was sincerely afraid to tell her what really happened because I was worried she would bike all the way there and try to punch my coach. She was such a calm person, but if you did anything to her kids … Man! Start running!

I told her that I got into a fight, but she knew it was a lie. So she did what all mothers do in that situation — she called the mother of one of my teammates to find out the truth.

When she came back in the room, I was crying so much, and I told her that I wanted to quit playing football. The next day, I couldn’t even leave the house. I didn’t want to go to school. I was too humiliated. But then my mother sat down on my bed, and she said, “You’re going back, Ángel. You’re going back today. You need to go prove yourself to him.”

I went back to training that day, and the most incredible thing happened. My teammates didn’t make fun of me. They actually helped me. The ball would come into the air, and the defenders would let me win the header. They made sure that I was feeling good, and they really took care of me that day. Football is such a competitive game, especially in South America. Everyone is just trying to make it to a better life, you know? But I will always remember that day, because those teammates saw that I was suffering and they helped me.

Still, I was so small and so skinny. At 16, I still wasn’t in the senior team at Central, and my father was getting worried. We sat at the kitchen table one night, and he said, “You have three options: You can go to work with me. You can finish school. Or you can try one more year in football. But if it doesn’t work out, you have to come work with me.”

I didn’t say anything. It was a complicated situation. We needed money.

And then it was my mother who spoke up and said, “One more year in football.”

That was in January.

In December, the very last month … I made my debut for Central in the Primera División.

From that day, my sports life began. But in truth, the fight started so long before that. It started with my mother glueing my boots back together, and with her riding Graciela through the rain. Even when I made it as a professional in Argentina, it was still a fight. I don’t think people outside of South America can understand what it’s like. You have to live some of the experiences to believe it.

I will never forget when we had to play a Libertadores game in Colombia against Nacional, because air travel is not the same as in the Premier League or La Liga. It’s not even the same as when you play in Buenos Aires. Because back then, there was no international airport in Rosario. You showed up at the little airport, and whatever plane was there that day, you got on. You didn’t ask questions.

So we showed up for this flight to Colombia … and there was one of those huge cargo planes on the runway. You know the ones with the big ramp in the back that they use to ship cars and stuff? Well, that was our plane. I remember it was called “Hercules.”

The ramp came down, and the workers started loading all these mattresses into the plane.

And all the players were looking at one another like, What?

So we went to board the plane, and the workers were like, “No, guys, you go in the back. And here, take these headphones.”

They had to give us those huge military headphones to block out the noise. We climbed onto the platform, and there were a few seats and some mattresses for us to lie on. For eight hours. To a Libertadores match. They closed the ramp, and it got super dark. We were just lying there on the mattresses with our headphones on, and we can barely hear one another. The plane starts to take off, and we go sliding down the ramp a little bit, all the way to the back of the plane, and one of my teammates shouts, “Nobody touch the big red button! If that door opens, we’re all gone to shit!’

It was incredible. If you didn’t live it, you wouldn’t believe it. But you can ask my teammates. It really happened. That was our version of a private plane. Hercules!

Still, I look on that memory with a lot of happiness. When you’re trying to make it in football in Argentina, you have to do whatever it takes. Whatever plane shows up that day, you get on that plane, and you don’t ask questions.

Eventually, if you get the opportunity, you take the plane with a one-way ticket. For me, that opportunity was in Portugal with Benfica. Maybe some people look at my career and they think, “Wow, he went to Benfica, then Real Madrid, Manchester United, PSG,” and maybe it seems simple. But you can’t imagine how many things happened in between. When I got to Benfica, at age 19, I barely played for two seasons. My father gave up his job to move to Portugal with me, and he had to be separated by an ocean from my mother. There were nights when I heard him on the phone with my mom, and he was crying because he missed her so much.

At times, it seemed like a huge mistake. I wasn’t starting, and I wanted to quit and go back home.

Then the 2008 Olympics changed my whole life. Argentina called me to play for the team even though I wasn’t starting for Benfica. I will never forget that. That tournament gave me the opportunity to play with Leo Messi, the extraterrestrial, the genius. It was the most fun I’ve ever had playing football. All I had to do was run into space. I would start running, and the ball would arrive at my feet. Like magic.

Leo’s eyes don’t work like your eyes and my eyes work. They look side to side, like a human. But he’s also able to see the world from above, like a bird. I don’t understand how it’s possible.

We were able to make it all the way to the final against Nigeria, and it was probably the most incredible day of my life. To score the goal to win the gold medal for Argentina … you can’t even imagine that feeling.

You have to understand, I was 20 years old, and not even playing for Benfica. My family was separated. I was at a moment of hopelessness before Argentina called me for that tournament. In just two years, I won a gold medal, I started playing for Benfica, and then I got transfered to Real Madrid.

It was a moment of pride not just for me, but for my entire family and for all my friends and teammates who supported me over the years. They say that my father was an even better footballer than me, but he broke his knees when he was young, and his dream died. They say that my grandfather was even better than him, but he lost both of his legs in a train accident, and his dream died.

My dream was close to dying so many times.

But my father kept working under the tin roof … my mother kept pedaling … I kept running into space …

I don’t know if you believe in fate, but when I scored my first goal for Real Madrid, do you know the name of the team we were playing?

Hércules CF.

We came a long way.

So maybe you can understand now why I was crying in front of Sabella before the World Cup Final. I was not nervous. I was not worried about my career. I was not even worried about starting the match.

Hand on my heart, the truth is that I just wanted us to achieve our dream. I wanted us to be remembered as legends in our country. We were so close.…

That’s why it’s so heartbreaking to me when I see the reaction to our team in the media in Argentina. At times, the negativity and criticism is out of control. It is not healthy. We are all human beings, and we have things going on in our lives that people do not see.

In fact, just before the final qualifying games, I started seeing a psychologist. I was going through a difficult moment in my head, and usually I can rely on my family to get me through those times. But this time, the pressure was very intense with the national team, so I turned to a psychologist, and it really helped me. In the final two matches, I was much looser and more relaxed.

I reminded myself that I was part of one of the best teams in the world, and that I was playing for my country, living a dream I had as a child. Sometimes, as professionals, we can forget those simple facts.

The game became a game again. I think that nowadays people look on Instagram or YouTube, and they see the results, but they don’t see the cost. They don’t know the journey. They see me holding my daughter and smiling with the Champions League trophy, and they think that everything is perfect. But they don’t know that just a year before the photo was taken, she was born premature and spent two months in the hospital, hooked up to tubes and wires.

Maybe they see a picture of me crying with the trophy, and they think that I’m crying because of football. But in reality, I am crying because my daughter is there in my arms to experience it with me.

They watch the World Cup Final, and all they see is a result.

0–1.

But they don’t see how hard so many of us fought to get to that moment.

They don’t know about my living room walls turning from white to black.

They don’t know about my father working under a little tin roof.

They don’t know about my mother riding Graciela through the rain and the cold, for her children.

They don’t know about Hercules.

https://www.theplayerstribune.com/articles/angel-di-maria-argentina-english

Messi crazy 

https://rmfantasysetpieces1.tumblr.com/post/703860009289891840/when-messi-or-cr7-hang-up-playing-for-club-or

#rmsoccer

[igglemouse]

Episode 4 ~ The Gift

Sabella Cole, current leader and Mistress of a clan simply titled ‘The House’ was where Jana had expected her to be. In the empty meeting room which once, more than a hundreds of years ago, was filled with many a powerful vampire making decisions about the world they inhabited. Now, it was an empty collection of chairs that housed spiders and dust...and one possibly delusional master vampire that was far too patient.

Sabella: Jana! My little doll. To what do I owe the pleasure?

Sabella took a drag of her smoke, took in the porcelain being before her with some annoyance, and waited for this to be explained. 

Jana: It’s about Lenore. She’s dying.

Sabella didn’t react. She didn’t believe it. It took some time for the information to sink into her mind as something that was even possible of happening.

Sabella: Who told you this?

Jana: The Rabbit...

Sabella: You mean the current agent of chaos that isn’t supposed to be here?

Jana: Yes, sure, whatever you say. 

Jana rolled her eyes. Sabella had many a conspiracy theory and it was those theories that seemed to petrify her into doing nothing but plan plan and plan. According to her, the ‘Mad’ agent was some kind of time traveler alien thing that only existed to sow absolute chaos. Jana thought it was just an agent. A man in black in disguise. She had seen men in black before and they were capable of...odd things.

Jana: The point is, my Mistress, Lenore is out of it. It’s time to move. We can destroy the Tourneau’s in one swift move!

Sabella didn’t initially react to that either. She took another drag of her smoke, this one longer than before. Ruminating on some deep thought and seemingly enjoying it. Finally, when she was ready to speak, she leaned forward.

Sabella: That’s what our chaos agent would want, isn’t it? Have our two clans at each other throats.

Jana groaned: My Mistress-

Sabella: No, no, hush little doll. I have a mission for you. Ever heard of Henford on Bagley?

Index - Next

Poses by @natalia-auditore who makes all the best vampire/fantasy stuff!

[a-man-for-hire-and-his-archives]

‘I’d love to see the women in my life represented on screen.’

Rarriwuy Hick likens the build-up to her first lead role in a TV drama to an athlete training for a major sporting event.

“There were months and months of preparation before pre-production,” she recalls. “Meditation, trying to find things that could ground me, working out every day with Pilates and boxing.”

To play police detective Toni Alma in True Colours, a four-part series created by Warren H. Williams and Erica Glynn, she also travelled to the production base in Alice Springs (Mparntwe) a month before shooting started. “I needed to get a sense of the pace of Alice Springs: it’s very different to where I’m from, even though it’s also the Northern Territory,” she explains.

Rarriwuy Hick stars in True Colours, playing Toni Alma, a cop sent to a remote community to investigate an assault on a teenage girl. CREDIT: BRADLEY PATRICK

The dancer, writer, choreographer and actor (Redfern Now, The Gods of Wheat Street, Cleverman, Wentworth) is based further north, closer to Darwin in Arnhem Land, which she describes as a long way, geographically, climatically and culturally, from the Arrernte country where the drama is set.

“We have palm trees and crystal-clear water, it’s very tropical, humid. It’s got that Bali vibe. Alice Springs has this beautiful flat desert with amazing ranges. You hardly ever see a cloud in the sky. We were filming in winter, this time last year, and it is cold. But you turn the camera on, and it doesn’t matter what time of the day, the landscape is strikingly beautiful with its bright red colours and spinifex.”

Rarriwuy Hick (right) with Deborah Mailman and Anthony Hayes in the Redfern Now episode Promise Me.

Near the start of the series, made by Bunya Productions (Mystery Road, Goldstone, Sweet Country) in association with SBS and NITV, Alma is sent from her city posting to a remote community to investigate an assault on a teenage girl, Mariah (Janaya Kopp). The fictional Perdar Theendar is where the detective was born and raised, a place where she has deep roots and a complicated history. And while her boss (Emma Jackson) believes Alma’s local knowledge will be an asset for the case, some members of the community now resentfully regard the policewoman as an outsider.

Her presence in Perdar Theendar allows the drama to explore the customs, rituals and kinship system that operate in the region. Hick, who speaks seven Indigenous dialects, learnt to speak Arrernte, as a significant amount of the dialogue in the series is spoken in the local language.

Alma’s uncle Samuel (series co-creator Williams), a community police officer, cryptically advises her soon after her arrival that “there’s a lot going on around here”, and not all of it is readily apparent, even to a woman who understands the relationships and conventions. Among the challenges, her younger brother, Keithy (Keenan Japangardi Mitchell), is acting out and a former boyfriend might know more about events that took place on secret ceremonial lands than he wants to reveal.

There’s also the uncomfortable relationship Alma has with her former romantic partner, fellow police detective Nick (Luke Arnold). Meanwhile, Alma’s mother, Vivienne (Sabella Kngwarraye Ross), works at the local community centre with a group of women creating highly marketable paintings that are being sold internationally by art dealer Isabelle (Miranda Otto).

Describing herself as “a strong Yolngu woman”, Hick sees her character as “an intuitive detective” who’s caught between two worlds. “She can speak her language and she understands cultural protocol and the importance of it,” she says. “But she’s a detective and those two worlds don’t gel and she’s trying to find her place in both. She keeps asking herself who she is and where she belongs. She wants to help her community and her family, even though sometimes what she’s doing is probably causing more problems. True Colours shows how strong the culture is in Alice Springs and also the challenges for Aboriginal people who live in both worlds, having to navigate Western society as well as their cultural obligations.”

Rarriwuy Hick (left) as Electra in Gods of Wheat Street.

Aside from the opportunity for top billing on the series, which is screening on SBS and NITV over four consecutive nights, Hick appreciated the respectful atmosphere created during the shoot.

“I really admired the way that Bunya and the directors and writers and the community came together. With the casting, we worked around the Arrernte kinship system because there are restricted relationships between certain people. When we’d film in certain areas, we’d have a traditional owner there who might tell us that the cameras can’t face in a certain direction because it’s a sacred site. Things like that are strong in the culture and they were important in the story and in the filming of it.”

With its blue skies and wide open spaces, True Colours is a long way in terms of story and location from the prison drama Wentworth, in which Hick played boxer Ruby Mitchell for the last three seasons. “If I look at my career, starting with Redfern Now and going on to Wentworth, I chose to do all of those shows and loved every one of those characters, and I learnt a lot from every one of them,” she says. “But I was in prison, or a victim of some sort. So it was good to do something where my character has authority, or she thinks she does. She’s good at what she does and it was nice to play a character who has that kind of power and strength.”

Regarding the range of roles now available to her, Hick says: “I think a change has definitely happened, but we’ve still got a long way to go. I hope that we continue to create opportunities and roles for this next generation and in particular for Aboriginal actors and Aboriginal storytelling. But I look forward to doing a romantic comedy, or playing a doctor, an educated Aboriginal woman, because I’m surrounded by them. I’d love to see the women that are in my life represented on screen.”

True Colours is on SBS and NITV, Monday-Thursday, 8.30pm.

Source: The Age Australia

[whumpinggrounds]

I Like You, Not Like That

more jamie/isabella! can u tell i love writing them :)

tagging @shapeshiftersandfire and @killtheprotagonist

CW: pet whump, lady whump, aftermath of conditioning, fucky ideas about sex/sexuality

They’re sitting on the couch together, Isabella curled against Jamie’s side, her head in Jamie’s lap. Jamie has one hand in Isabella’s hair, combing through it with her fingers, while the other holds open a book. It's just a day and a half into Jamie's stay, and already, Isabella is all but melting in Jamie's hands, to the sound of Jamie's voice.

Just now, the sitter is reading to Isabella, but Isabella hardly hears a word. She’s distracted by the feeling of Jamie’s careful fingers in her hair, on her scalp. She’s distracted because she’s busy staring at Jamie’s face. She hardly knows she’s going to speak until the words are already leaving her mouth.

“I like you.”

Jamie’s voice falters. Isabella watches her throat work as she swallows. Letting the book fall shut, she looks down at Isabella, smiling a little. “Um…what? Did you say?”

Her voice sounds tentative, disbelieving, hopeful. It makes Isabella grin, daring for just a moment to glance up at Jamie and catch those ice blue eyes.

“I like you.”

The words don’t feel like bravery, or even a confession. It feels like incontrovertible truth, something that rises like a balloon in Isabella’s chest and comes bursting out without any real input from her brain. Isabella feels a little breathless as she says it, but not just because she’s scared.

Tipping her head all the way back, Jamie blows out a long breath and smiles at the ceiling for a minute before she can meet Isabella’s eyes again. When she speaks, her voice is almost a whisper. “I like you, too.”

But now instead of being happy, Isabella feels her stomach twist and drop. It takes less than a heartbeat for a simple, contented self-knowledge to turn into something else, something dark and doubtful. The smile slips off her face, and Jamie doesn’t miss the change. “Isabella? What’s up?"

Isabella avoids her eyes, and watches Jamie bite her lip. "Did I…did I say something wrong?”

Isabella can’t meet Jamie's eyes, though a pang of guilt runs through her as she hears Jamie trying hard not to panic. “I…I really do like you, Isabella. I do.”

The sound Isabella makes isn’t quite a groan. It’s a protesting sound somewhere between a whine and a growl, and they both know that it means no you don’t. It’s not arguing with an owner, Isabella tells herself as her heart rate starts to pick up precipitously. She’s not arguing, not out loud.

“Hey.” When Jamie stops stroking her head, Isabella pushes against the paused hand, silently asking her to continue. She holds her breath as she waits for the rebuke, the correction - stupid pet, you don't get to ask for things, you don't get to want things. Instead of correcting her, Jamie starts moving her hand again, smoothing her palm over Isabella's hair, and as Jamie soothes her, she keeps talking, in that low, gentle tone.

“Hey, I, I like you, okay? You don’t have to…don’t have to worry about that. You don’t have to believe me, but I’m going to say it anyway. I’m not going to lie to you.”

The words are...they're balm on Isabella's insecure soul, but they aren't powerful enough to stop her doubt. For a long few moments, Isabella considers, chest aching, how to respond. This time, the words don’t come easily, though Isabella knows they’re just as true as the ones that began this whole mess. It’s dangerous, talking like this, but the words are pushing up in Isabella’s chest, demanding a voice. “Do you…do you like me?” she asks, voice doubtful. “Or…or did you like her?”

Isabella doesn’t have to say who she means. They both know already, are well-acquainted with the ghost that sometimes seems more present than Isabella herself.

The look on Jamie’s face as she considers the question is complicated. There’s tenderness there, and an equal measure of pain. Her hand keeps moving through Isabella’s hair, and she heaves a sigh. “Both of you.” She sounds calm and sure, even as Isabella scans her face for a sign that she’s lying. “I like both of you. Very, very much.”

“But…but…” It’s embarrassing, how small and pathetic Isabella’s voice sounds. She swallows, tries again. “But how do you…how do you know?” It’s dangerous ground, contradicting an owner, but Jamie’s never acted like an owner before, not ever, and there’s a needy howling thing in Isabella’s chest that needs to know. That thing wants Jamie to like her, needs Jamie to like her, Isabella, and not the ghost of who she used to be. Even if she's just a Box Babe, just a useless brainless little Box Babe - she wants this to hold onto, this one true thing.

Above her, Jamie is still waiting for Isabella's words. “I’m not her,” Isabella finally says, in the quiet between them. “I’m not. I’m just…”

“Hey, hey, none of that. You’re not just anything.” Jamie is firm but gentle. “I like you. I know you’re not her. You’re someone else. I like that person, too.”

She should take that. She really should. Those words, that’s more than enough. Isabella should take that and cling to it and be contented. But the thing inside her is starving, selfish. “R-really?” She screws up her courage, forces out her most pathetic question yet, her most dangerous demand. “W-w-why?”

“Aw, ‘sabella.” Both hands, now, one resting on Isabella’s cheek, the other running over her hair. Sometimes being petted makes Isabella feel small, but this is different. This makes her feel cared for, adored. “Lots of reasons, okay? Trust me.” Isabella does, she does, but the hunger must show on her face because Jamie chuckles a little, face turning indulgent. “You’re very sweet. You’re a good listener. I like talking to you. I think you’re interesting, and I think you’re smart.”

“Pets aren’t smart,” Isabella whispers, and Jamie’s face goes flat and dead. Isabella’s seen that face, that expression, and she hates it, but she keeps going regardless. “I’m not…all those things were…were trained i-into me? Or they’re…they’re her, that’s not, I’m not…anything, I’m not anything-”

“Yes, you are.” Jamie’s voice is firm and sure. Her face isn’t flat and dead anymore, but it’s strained, a little desperate. “You’re…you’re…” she looks searchingly into Isabella’s face. “Isabella, they can’t beat you into caring about other people. That’s just, you know. You.”

“But…but…”

“No buts. I know you. I knew her, and I know you, and I like you both. So there.” Jamie says it playfully, but there’s true sincerity there, behind the joke. She hesitates, rubbing a calloused thumb over Isabella’s cheek. “Can I…”

Isabella nods quickly, not needing to think about it. Whatever it is, Jamie can. Jamie can do anything to her, anything at all.

Above her, looking down with that same fond look, the redhead rolls her eyes. “You didn’t let me finish,” she says softly, but she takes Isabella’s face in her hands, and leans down, and Isabella shuts her eyes –

And feels Jamie’s lips press against her forehead. She blinks, surprised, looking up at Jamie with big eyes. “I like you.” Jamie says it again, like a promise. This time, Isabella believes her.

_

Every time before, when Jamie has come to stay, Isabella sleeps in Miss Mara's big empty bed, and Jamie stays out on the couch. “It’s your apartment,” Jamie always says, with a crooked little half-smile, and Isabella smiles back, even though it’s not Isabella's apartment at all. It’s Miss Mara’s apartment. And when Miss Mara’s home, she sleeps in the bed with Isabella.

It wasn’t always that way. For weeks, maybe even a month or two, Isabella slept on the couch, which was perfectly comfortable. Then came the night that Miss Mara came home drunk and kissed her newly useful little pet, and…and after that, Isabella slept in Miss Mara's bed, and nights were now...busier than they had been before.

So now, when Jamie kisses her on the forehead, soft and sweet though it was, Isabella figures it’s probably time. Whatever waiting period that keeps holding people back has now passed, and Jamie will probably join Isabella in bed tonight.

The weird part is that Isabella isn’t…totally opposed to the idea. She feels a squirming in her stomach that’s a little bit sick but also maybe a little bit...happy? Isabella doesn't know what she's feeling. She likes Jamie. She does, and she knows it. The redhead is…she’s sweet, and awkward, and gentle. It won’t be so bad, with her.

Not that it’s bad with Miss Mara! The thought is so frightening it makes Isabella gasp. Bad Isabella, bad Box Babe. Isabella’s stupid disobedient thoughts make her cringe even as she goes back to rethink them.

It’s not bad with Miss Mara, it’s not, nothing's bad with Miss Mara. It's just...just...sometimes Miss Mara is so fast and so sure that Isabella gets a bit lost, gets a bit left behind, is stuck inside her own head thinking about dusting while Miss Mara cries out her climax up above her. Isabella loves her owner in the daytime – Miss Mara’s quick dry wit, and her intelligent eyes, and the way nothing gets by her, not anything. At night, things loom bigger, scarier, and as Miss Mara moves in the darkness Isabella feels trapped, corralled, kept. Her owner seems to want her and not want her, cast her aside as soon as they’re done in a way that she doesn't during the day.

Jamie wouldn’t act like that, Isabella’s treacherous thoughts supply, and Isabella tries to squash the thinking, but it’s there. Jamie wouldn’t do that, won’t do that, tonight, when she, when she finally uses Isabella for the thing that she’s for.

And this is what Isabella is for. This is the safest thing for her to be – kept and wanted and used. It’s a good thing that Miss Mara started. It’ll be a good thing when Jamie starts, too, now that she’s said she likes Isabella. And that’s what Isabella wanted! She wanted Jamie to say that she liked her, and now that she has, Isabella’s pacing around the apartment, stomach in knots? Stupid pet, stupid, stupid pet. She doesn’t know what’s wrong with her.

Maybe it’s because Miss Mara said no. Miss Mara told Isabella not to – but if that’s what Jamie wants, if that’s what Jamie asks for, then Isabella can’t say no. There’s some safety in that. She can tell Jamie that her owner doesn’t want that, but Jamie doesn’t have to listen to a pet. And maybe Miss Mara won’t find out. And maybe Isabella will be safe, will be good, will please everyone.

More likely, Isabella knows, Miss Mara will find out, and Miss Mara will be furious. More likely, Isabella will be in trouble like she’s never been in trouble before. Right now, though, Jamie is with her. Jamie is in charge of her. And Isabella feels this strange insistent urge to please Jamie, even if the cost proves far too high. Please Jamie. Please Jamie. Make Jamie happy, make Jamie smile. Isabella wants that and wants it and doesn’t know why.

It doesn’t help that this is one of Jamie’s long days. She’s with a client until nine pm, and she makes sure she tells Isabella that she can eat whenever she wants, but Isabella still waits. She shouldn’t eat on her own, and she doesn’t much want to eat without Jamie, and she doesn’t know what Jamie wants, anyway. Then of course once Jamie gets home and they decide, Isabella’s left helping around the edges while Jamie tries to do all the cooking herself. Laughing, she all but orders Isabella out of the kitchen when she catches her trying to do dishes. “Just let me cook,” she urges. “Least I can do.”

“You spent all day taking care of someone,” Isabella reminds her, almost arguing, awed by her own bravery tonight. “I could, I could help?”

“No need. C’mon, just talk to me. Just tell me about your day.”

So it goes – dinner, and then dishes, and then Isabella waits for Jamie to make her move. All day she’d felt nervous but when Jamie comes in the room it dissolves, turns to dust, metamorphosizes into the same tentative excitement she gets every time she sees Jamie. The same tentative excitement she tells herself she still gets for Miss Mara.

As the evening passes, and bedtime draws closer, Isabella rediscovers her anxiety. Nerves twist and flicker in her stomach, but Jamie does nothing, nothing, until Isabella wants to beg her just to hurry up and…and…

It’s hard for Isabella to think about what she wants Jamie to do. It makes her cheeks go red, even as she lies on the couch, tucked under Jamie’s arm, up against her side. They’re so close. If Jamie turned toward her, and Isabella tilted her head just right…

“I think I’m going to get my teeth brushed and go to sleep pretty soon.” Jamie’s raspy voice interrupts Isabella’s thoughts and her heart quickens. She nods, peeling herself away from Jamie’s side and heading toward the bathroom a little too fast. It doesn’t go unnoticed. “You okay?” Jamie calls after her. “You’ve been pretty quiet.”

“Yes, Jamie, I’m fine.” If Isabella sounds a little formal, a little off, Jamie doesn’t say anything about it. Isabella feels her eyes, though, examining her face as the two brush their teeth side by side in the mirror. Isabella spits into the sink just before Jamie and feels her heart rate pick up. She thinks she can hear it in her ears. She moves toward the bedroom, lingers in the doorway.

And Jamie goes to walk right past her. “Night, Isabella!”

“Wait!”

The word tears out of her, almost painful, almost a cry. Jamie stops, turns back toward Isabella. “Yeah? What’s up?”

Isabella takes a few careful steps toward Jamie. She’s shorter than Jamie is – just two or three inches, but it’s enough. This close, she has to tip her head up to look into Jamie’s ice blue eyes. All she sees there is confusion.

“Isabella? Is something-”

Isabella reaches up, and Jamie lets her, and she puts her hands on Jamie’s face, and she kisses her. This has to be – it has to be – because Jamie said she liked her, and Jamie kissed her on the forehead, and Jamie’s always kind to her, and so was Miss Mara, at first, and it’s what she was trained for, it’s what she’s good for, and, and, Isabella wants –

Gently, ever so gently, Jamie sets her hands on Isabella’s shoulders and pushes her away. “No, Isabella.”

“But you said…you said you liked me, and…”

“Not like this.” Jamie tucks a strand of hair behind Isabella’s ear. The shorter girl feels dangerously close to crying.

“I don’t…I don’t understand.”

“That’s okay. Can I…?” Jamie stretches her arms out, and Isabella goes willingly into them, burying her face in Jamie’s chest. She can feel the big breath that Jamie takes, feel the way she tenses and hesitates, trying to explain. “I’m not…I don’t think…” she sighs. “It wouldn’t be fair.”

“To…to Miss Mara?”

Jamie’s arms around her tighten. “To you.”

“But…but that’s what…I’m for?”

Another gusty sigh. “No.” She can feel Jamie shake her head, can feel Jamie’s chin brush through her hair. “No, it’s not.” There’s a catch in her voice, and Isabella clings tighter, even as she feels Jamie start to let her go. “Let’s…let’s both get some sleep.”

“Please.”

It slips out, another lapse, another request when she has no right to ask for anything at all – pathetic. Isabella was trained better than this. Instead of punishing her, instead of shaking her head, instead of getting the slightest bit annoyed, Jamie tips Isabella’s head up just a little, so she can look Isabella right in her teary eyes. “What’s up? What do you need?”

“Stay?”

Isabella isn’t hugging Jamie anymore, but her hands are clenched in tight fists around the fabric of Jamie’s shirt. She sees the redhead turn soft, sees the way she bites her lip. “I…I really think I should sleep out on the couch, Isabella. Tomorrow-”

“Please.” It’s a whisper, and Isabella is turning her face back into Jamie’s side, and Jamie sighs once again, shakes her head. Slowly but surely, her feet start to move, and she follows Isabella as she moves toward the bed.

“Okay. We can’t…we’re not doing anything else, all right? But…but I’ll stay. Don’t cry, Isabella. I’ll stay.”

[skgway]

1823 Aug., Sat. 30

6 5/60

12

1/2 hour in the stable wrote a few lines on 1/2 sheet of paper (which William took to the Post Office before breakfast) to “Mrs. Cook, Straw-hat maker, Coney street York” to desire her to have black chip in readiness to make me a hat in a day if possible – I should be in York on Wednesday or Thursday – Wrote a couple of little notes for William to take to Butter’s, and Whiteley the hatter’s and wrote the last 7 lines of the last page and the first 19 of this –

Went down to breakfast at 9 40/60 – At 10 3/4 drove my aunt to Whitwell place – Caradoc in the gig – George rode Hotspur the 1st time except perhaps once or twice when taking him to be shod, since I returned from York 22nd May last –

Mrs. Veitch came to the door – we did not get out of the gig, but staid just 5 minutes and got home at 12 55/60 – Hotspur a good deal heated – Ditto Caradoc after he got into the stable – He was rather “starved”, George said, this morning – and rather off his meat, at least his hay – Ate very little of his corn after coming in, and no hay – Ordered him a mash – All the hay to be taken out of his rack, to have non tonight – Nothing but bran mashes, and in case it should be wanted desired Suter to make a ball (to be sent this evening to Northgate) of 5 drams Barbados aloes, 4 drops sauntered with my aunt to Godley –

A long while in the stable and did not come in (upstairs) till 2 1/4 – From then till 4 1/2, looking out my clothes, what wanted mending etc. etc. for my journey to Scarbro’ & York – At 4 50/60 went into the stable for 5 minutes then walked (down the new bank) to H–x [Halifax], was to meet Miss P– [Pickford] at Whitley’s at 4 3/4 by the old church –

10 minutes too late, and met her in Northgate – She turned back with me to go to several shops – We then walked leisurely and got here at 6 1/4 – She had walked to King X [cross] to meet me yesterday but must have been 1/2 hour too late – 

Asked what Mr. Simmons said etc. etc. – Wished much to see his prescription. Had thought much about me. I would not shew it her or tell what he had said. She asked me with more apparent anxiety or curiosity than usual. She would understand the whole thing I laughed and said –

3/4 hour at dinner and upstairs getting M– [Mariana]’s I[sabella] N[orcliffe]’s and my own pictures which I shewed her – She thought M– [Mariana] (tho’ a vilely done sketch) very like a cousin of hers, Mrs. William Lumley – I[sabella] N[orcliffe]’s miniature by Millet beautifully done – Mrs. Taylor’s sketch of me, like a person afraid of speaking – Too foolish looking could not bear it – Not at all characteristic.

Shewed her Stephs prescription of two years ago cubebs etc. Passing off for Mr. Simmons’s. She said it was an odd one. In walking home with her laughed and talked nineteen to the dozen. Would make her tell what she thought and screwed it out by piece meal. 

She said could that be Mr. Simmons’s? It would do no good. At last I made her own mercury was the only thing. My whole manner convinced her I was in the venereal. Said Mr. S[immons] wanted me to go to Manchester for a fortnight or three weeks. Could not yet tell whether after getting better I might have any relapse or not. Owned that was his prescription I had consulted four or five (alluding to Mac, Steph, Doctors B and Simmons). 

I said I had had four letters on my return, one I could not understand, meaning Miss V[allance]’s. I was vapourish about it and not well today (I had indeed a little bowel complaint just after dinner). She said she knew something was the matter, whatever it was I looked ill. 

She seems at home about the venereal disease. I tried to find out if she had had a touch of it, she said nothing to contradict or yet exactly to own it. I was rat[t]ling on, asked if she knew what Lady Sick was. Said I could tell her something for which she would box my ears. She wanted me sadly to say it. I declined for the present (I meant I might sometime pretend I had gulled her all I had said was a joke). 

‘Is this,’ said she, ‘your philos[o]phy? Does your conscience ever smite you?’ perhaps alluding to my having before so strongly denied the thing. ‘No,’ said I, ‘it does not. But I mean to amend at five and thirty and retire with credit. I shall have a good fling before then, four years, and in the meantime shall make my avenae communes, my wild oats common. I shall dimiciliate them.’

She laughed. Did not mention her name, but hinted Miss V[allance]’s sneaking kindness for me. I had met her on a visit, she had been much attached. I thought and persuaded she could never love again. She disagreed with me, said I was right in general but there were exceptions to all rules and she was one. She was ill one night had spasms. Was bad to hold, in all sorts of contortions. I sat up with her and should never forget spasms.

Pic laughed. Said one of my friends said if I had not my talent I should be abominable. Pic thought I should not find fault with others. She had before told me of her putting on regimentals and flirting with the lady under the assumed name of name of Captain Cowper. It did not seem that the lady ever found it out, but thought the captain the most agreeable of men. 

Just before we parted, ‘Now,’ said I, ‘do you like the philosophy or the vivication? Do you think me less agreeable?’ ‘No,’ was the answer. ‘Do you think me more so?’ ‘Yes, I do.’ She will breakfast here on Monday, for I talk of going by that night's mail –

Miss P– [Pickford] staid till 7 50/60, I walked to Savile green with her returned up the old bank in 20 minutes and got home at 8 50/60 – Very much heated – The evening very hot and close – Got curled immediately then sat down and wrote etc. 

During supper wrote the whole of this journal so far of today, and went downstairs at 10 10/60, & came up again to bed at 11 8/60, at which hour Barometer 1 1/2 degree above changeable Fahrenheit 60º – Fine day – Rather likely for rain in the morning but it kept off – E [three dots, treating venereal complaint] O [one dot, signifying little discharge] –

[rarestereocats]

Industria speaks about "hypothetical" situations with Sabella, hoping to gauge how Altamere feels about us altering reality before we step foot in his domain. Sabella believes in the ultimate good, much like him, but she personally thinks it's necessary to break the rules sometimes. Altamere though, is strictly lawful, so we've probably angered him. We decide to risk it anyways and pay him a visit. After we get past his guards and go down Memory Lane quite literally, we arrive in his cabin. He's nowhere to be found.

He appears shortly after and is genuinely surprised to see us. Turns out, he's not mad at us at all because we're no longer his problem. Altering reality has put us on the Inevitables shitlist, though he's willing to help if we talk through everything that's happened. Our explanations aren't enough to sway him and he tells us our best bet is to accept our fates. That's a no-go. If we managed to change reality, fate means nothing to us. So Industria asks him how many Inevitables he's comfortable losing and the answer is "none", but she brings up how she could easily ressurect all the souls she's reaped to fight alongside us.

Before he can answer, she storms out and takes us with her. With targets on our backs, we gather the rest of our party and ask Iolond to drop us back into the trials on Xibalba. It's important, now more than ever, that we piece Exius back together as he could be a powerful ally. The final trial has us set in a room made entirely of mirrors. Spilling blood on them sends a wave of blood through the room, so we test with other things. The magic here is adaptable so as we attack it, it technically attacks us. Industria undoes it with magic and down a black hole we go, flying or teleporting to the safety of a nearby tunnel.

To us, we completed the trials. To the judges, we're fucking crazy and they're not happy that one of their trials is in ruin. They refuse to hand over the soul fragment unless we do one last thing for them. Enter the arena and battle their visitor of unknown origins. We jump on that opportunity, stepping into the arena, and being greeted by a massive Inevitable. We don't get a word out before it attacks, so while Elathera gets the rest of us out of here, Industria teleports away with it and into another plane. The rest of us manage to convince the judges that we defeated it and they reward us with Exius's soul.

Meanwhile, Industria and Dandy find themselves in Duskfathom, a chaotic evil city below Axis on the outer planes. The rest of us rush to find her and when we arrive, she's striking a deal with it. If she hands over the Portal Key like it wants and ask for permission before opening planar gates so it can protect them, it will tell the other Inevitables to leave us be. It's too good of a deal to pass up and after we agree to the terms, the Inevitable tells us we have to destroy the permanent gates we've already made. And unfortunately for us, we have to. We have so many questions for it as we travel, eventually reaching a point where we make it question its existence.

It's curious about individuality, so I tell it that it can go from an "inevitable" to an "understandable". It asks if we'll help it on its new journey to personal freedom and as a first step, it chooses the name "Missile" for itself. We update Pandemonius on the current events and he's thrilled that we have an Inevitable at our disposal. Elathera asks Iolond about the Far Lands and they tell us that that plane serves as a graveyard of sorts. The beings in there were put there because if they died, they could rejoin reality, and become even more powerful. We take a three day break before we continue adventuring.