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yamumsyadadd · 6 months ago

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Sometimes all you need is a little love

At 5, you were loved. Your mum and dad adored you. Everything was about you and your parents. They worked hard, and in return you got to fulfil your dream of being a footballer.

At 8, things started to change. Sundays that were usually filled with church in the morning, and Barcelona games in the afternoon slowly started to disappear.

Your mum and dad were fighting. She was looking frail, unwell, a shell of herself. He looked angry, distant, with marks on his arms, coming home smelling like cigarettes and flowers. It was a weird smell, it would linger in the air for hours to come.

Gone were the days when they would both come to your football. It was one or the other, sometimes even none of them.

At 10, you found her. Hanging. You just sat there, watching her. Eventually going to the neighbours you thought you knew. Turns out they moved out and there was a new family. An older lady, Eli. She let you come inside and called for help while distracting you with cookies and her white fluffy dog.

From that day, things changed. Your father’s love became less and less. His violence and drinking became more. He had a new girlfriend every other month. Barely lasting the entire calendar month.

By age 12, La Masia came knocking. A full scholarship was on offer. It was your dream. Something you and your parents had worked hard for, together. Expect now it was just you. Forging your dad’s signature, you dropped the forms back off. Transferring to their academy the week later.

La Masia was hard. Harder than you expect. Maybe it was because things at home were worse than ever before, your dad lost his job, the random woman continued however now there was random men added into it. Home wasn’t a safe place for you or anyone in that case.

At 14, things hit an all time low, bruises and marks were becoming harder to hide with your promotion to the Barca B team. They were all so close to each other, hanging out after training, getting food or going shopping, their weekends were all spent together. But not with you. As much as they tried you shielded away from it. School and football were the two things that matter - there was no time for anything else, no time to worry about anything else.

The closest thing you had to a parent was the lady across the hall, every few days there would be a plate of food at the front door when you arrived home. On Sundays it was a bigger meal, you’d divvy it out so it would last a few extra days. The limited money you did have was given to your dad, you’d keep some of it but it wasn’t enough for the bus fare and food. It was one of the other.

Every morning you would make the one hour trek from your home in Mollet del Vallès, using that time to do your homework, study plays or rewatch games, sometimes even catching a few more minutes of sleep. Every evening, after training you’d stay and help pack away the equipment, sometime just relishing in the warmth of the facility, the endless hot water, the feeling of safety.

One night, after missing the last bus, you hid in a supply closet. Knowing there was no way you’d get home that night, you huddled around the spare clothes and clean towels. It oddly was one of the best sleeps you’d had in years. The constant security that would walk around the facility made you feel safe.

After that initial night, there were many more nights of sleeping at the facility. Was it the best idea? Probably not, but it was the safest, and the warmest.

15 was when things really changed. At some point, your dad just stopped coming home. He’d be gone for days at a time. This time though, he was gone for almost three weeks. You bloomed in the silence. The apartment was clean, airy, in contrast to the dark, stuffy air that usually resides.

On Christmas Eve things came to ahead. There wasn’t much food left. A few eggs, some bread and some cereal. No milk, vegetables or anything fresh. Biting the bullet, you made your way across the hall to the older ladies door. She had told you before that if you needed anything, to just knock. So you did, rocking back and forth on your heels, you were shocked when the door swung open and none other than Alexia Putellas, captain of the Barcelona Women’s team, 2 time Ballon D’Or winner, was standing there with a smile on her face.

“Hola pequeña, are you ok?”

“Oh, um, hola? Is Eli here?”

“Si, come in.” You stood there for a moment, staring at her, “mami a pequeña is here for you!” Eli, the nice, caring older woman was Alexia Putellas mother. Of course she was.

“Neña! To what do I owe this visit?”

“I am very sorry to interrupt and be rude, but I was wondering if you had any milk I could please have? My papi has gone away for a bit and forgot to leave some money.”

“You’re alone? You’re no older than 16?” A smaller but almost identical person chimed in.

“Si. I am 15”. A shy nod was all you could muster, the energy you previously had disappeared.

“Well where did he go? Are you alone for Christmas?”

“Uh, um a work trip? Si, si, a work trip! He will be back at some point, I’m sure.” It was a lie, a terrible horrible lie and everyone in that room knew. All three older women shared a look.

“Here is some milk Nena. Do you want to stay for dinner?”

“No no that’s okay. Thank you for the milk, I will give you money when I get some!”

“Nonsense dear. It’s just milk.”

Silently you grabbed the milk and started to walk towards the door, leaving the three women staring at you. Eli’s eyes expressed sadness, Alexia’s were confused, she knew you from somewhere but she couldn’t place it, Alba was bewildered, she remembered being 15 and there was no way in hell that Eli would’ve left her home alone, but especially not over the holiday period.

“She is a good girl. She studies hard, she’s at La Masia. Always very polite but something is off in the house.”

Alexia’s head whipped around, “she’s at the academy?” Eli nodded, “how does she get there? it’s a 40 minute drive and she’s not old enough?”

“I don’t know Alexia, tonight was the most she’s spoken to me since she came asking for the ambulance when her mami died.”

“That was her?” A nod was all alexia received. For the rest of the night they were all silent, you went to bed with a small amount of food in your stomach. The 8 pieces of French toast were enough to get you through until the farmers market opened on the 26th.

A dread washed over you the following afternoon when there was a knock at the front door. Opening it slowly, and only half showing your face, Alexia and Alba (you learnt her name after googling Alexia), were standing there.

“Hola pequeña. Mami asked if you and your papi wanted to join us for dinner?” Alexia voice was firm, almost as if there wasn’t room for you to say no.

“Um, sure. My papi isn’t back yet, but what time does she want us?”

“Now-“

“An hour-“ both girls spoke at the same time. Alba wanting to give you time to do whatever you needed, but alexia wanted you father to show himself. Unbeknownst to you, she had reached out to the La Masia staff and a few of the younger girls.

Vicky and Martina had told her the little information that they knew. You were young, talented and a hard worker. You’d catch the bus to and from training, never really talking to anyone and certainly never hanging out with them. They’d offered to help you with your homework, Vicky realising very quickly that you were both in the same grade despite you being two years younger. Both Vicky and Martina felt that there was something off, never seeing your father or anyone supporting you at games, not even at the international friendly with the under 17s that you’d been called up too.

“Okay? How about half an hour?”

“That works. See you soon pequeña!” Alba grabbed her older sisters arm, pulling her away from the door. You slid down the back of yours once it was firmly closed. You needed to think of the perfect lie. Maybe you could say he was too tired, or stuck in traffic. No that wouldn’t work, if he was stuck in traffic they’d wait. The truth wasn’t an option. There’s no way you could just blurt out that you didn’t know where he was.

The dinner was uncomfortable, the food was delicious but the unasked questions were making a lot of tension. You didn’t miss the way Alba and Eli continued to glance at you, or how their eyes went wide when you asked for more. This definitely cemented that something was wrong.

The loud clattering of Alexia’s fork and knife, stopped you from shoveling more food in your mouth.

“This is ridiculous. Pequeña, where is your papi?”

“Don’t know.” You spoke nonchalantly, putting more food into your mouth. Confused looks where thrown around. Eli’s hand slowly reaching for yours and taking the fork, “sweetheart, what do you mean you don’t know?”

“I don’t know. He could be stuck at work, or in traffic or asleep.” I shrugged. It was a semi decent lie.

“Does he leave for long periods often?”

“No. It’s usually just a few days.”

“Where does he go?”

To get high, to fuck hookers, to steal, “work trips.”

Thankfully the subject was dropped as Eli gave you back your fork. It didn’t feel like Christmas, no gifts were exchanged, no decorations or Christmas movies. It felt like a Sunday after church, all that was left was a trip to Camp Nou to watch a game but that wasn’t going to happen. Not now, not ever again.

Eli sent you home when a lot of leftovers, ignoring the comments from her own two daughters that they would’ve liked to have some too. It was enough food for at least a month. You’d eaten plenty at dinner so the need for food tomorrow would be less.

The following week was a blur. There was only two training sessions and school was off until after the New Year. Your father had yet to make a reappearance and due to the holidays, you were hiding in the house so you wouldn’t have to see any three of the Putellas women and answer questions.

It worked, for three weeks, until the night you had planned to sleep in the same storage room as usual. Alexia appeared, fresh out of the shower.

“Pequeña? What are you still doing here? It’s late.”

“I lost track of time. I was studying.”

“How are you getting home? Is your papi coming?”

“No. I’m catching the bus.” You felt guilty lying to her, but it was the best option. No one would get hurt this way.

“Let me drive you home. It’s late and you really shouldn’t be catching the bus.”

Before you could argued, she’d grabbed the straps of your bag, dragging it and you along to her car. It was an awkward 40 minutes. Her car was much more comfortable than the bus, warmer and safer. You were still on high alert, especially when she was asking you questions.

For the past five years you didn’t let anyone get close. It was easier that way. You didn’t have to explain the tiredness that was evident on your face, the random bruises that happened, the obvious weightless from the lack of food.

From that moment on you silently agreed to keep everyone further way. You had to be more careful, no more roaming the halls after training. No more asking Eli for milk, or bread, or anything. Leaving extra early in the morning or as soon as training ended. No more being vulnerable.

The day before your 16th birthday was supposed to be a good one. However your father had other plans. You’d been training with the senior team due to some injuries and then needing players, Jona had told you last night he would play you after halftime. A senior debut on your 16th birthday.

That night you’d come home so incredibly happy only for it to come crashing down when your extremely intoxicated father decided to start a fight over the lack of money. He didn’t stop hitting you for what felt like hours. You weren’t sure if you passed out from the pain or from the exhaustion but you knew the following day it would be hell.

The house was littered with used needles, smashed and empty bottles, and it smelt of cigarettes and stale booze. Your arms and legs were covered in bruises as well as a shiner on your face. That one would be the hardest to cover. it took an hour and large amount of makeup before you were confident about leaving the house. The bruise was mostly covered. You didn’t think it was that obvious though. The looks you received on the bus, and even as you walked through the halls, didn’t make you question your makeup job.

True to his word, jona put you on in the 75th minute, subbing Salma off. It was electrifying, a rush you’d never felt before. Then game ended with a win, of course, there was a lot of praise from the older girls. Mario was incredibly impressed and offered to work with you more if you were interested. Something you immediately said yes too. Your bubble was burst when Alexia came over to tell her Eli was there and wanted to see you.

The moment you were within arms reach of Eli, she could tell something was wrong. So could Alexia’s girlfriend, Olga, who she had just introduced you too. After chatting a bit more, Eli demanded she would take you home, making you hurry to gather your belongings in the locker room, forgoing a shower as you didn’t bring makeup to re-cover the bruise on your face.

“Olga you need to help her with makeup.” Alba joked before hugging her sister goodbye. Olga and Eli shared a concerned looked.

“Why is she wearing make up?”

“Mami she’s 16. Teenagers wear makeup all the time. It doesn’t mean anything.” Eli shook her head, there was something wrong but she didn’t know what or how to ask you.

“Ale, keep an eye on her yeah?”

“Olga she’s fine. She’s just a teenager.” Olga’s eyes pleaded with her, “si fine. I will watch over her.”

Two weeks later things came crashing down horribly. You’d been moved into the senior squad officially, that came with perks. More money was the main one. It would only be a few months until you’d officially graduate high school, that meant you could pick up a part time job as well as football. What you didn’t account for was your father.

When you walked in the door you were greeted with a random lady and a little boy, no older than 3, your father was very quickly shoving things into boxes and taping them up.

“What’s going on?” Neither of the adults spared a glance at you.

“I’m leaving. Thea and I are moving to Madrid.”

“I can’t leave papi! The season is still going and i haven’t finished school yet!”

“Good thing you weren’t invited then.” The lady scoffed, flipping her son to the other hip. Your eyes were wide. Not believing what you were hearing.

“Tomorrow, the moving truck will be here. You need to be gone by then.”

“Wait! Where will I go? You can’t leave me here!” You yelled after them as they left the apartment. No longer caring who heard or who saw.

“You’re not my problem anymore. I couldn’t care less about what you do or don’t do.” He turned to leave, “you could do the world a favour and hang yourself like your mother did.” With that he was gone. The apartment was mostly empty.

You found the two biggest bags that you could carry. Filling one with all your football stuff, the other with you clothes, the few jumpers of your mothers that you had left, a sleeping bag and pillow. In your school backpack you packed your laptop and all the school work, plus your important documents (birth certificate, photo IDs, passport.)

Though you had no idea where you would go, you knew you’d figure it out. What you didn’t account for was Eli. of course she would notice the moving vans, and the lack of you.

Every second night you’d leave the training facility, set on finding somewhere that was semi safe to sleep. Even though it was the start of February, you knew the beach would be ok. There was enough light to keep you safe, you also had a little knife you stole from your father along time ago.

The last morning before it all went to shit, you were sitting with your bags, still in your sleeping bag, watching the sunrise. Barcelona was quiet at this time of the morning. A few runners or cyclists around but other than that it was peaceful.

“Pequeña? What are you doing here so early?” A semi familiar face dropped in front of you, startling you out of your thoughts. Unable to talk, you just stared at her. “I’m Olga, Alexia’s girlfriend. We met a couple of weeks ago. Do you remember?”

You nodded, she continued on, “what are you doing here? Did you sleep here?”

“What? No! No I just like coming here in the mornings!” You hurried to get up, quickly shoving your things back into your bags, that’s when the knife dropped on the sand, right in front of Olga. We both stopped and stared at it.

“Pequeña-“

“I better go. Enjoy your day.” you quickly picked it up and all but ran towards the bus stop. your thoughts were spiralling. She was going to tell Alexia. you wouldn’t be allowed to play, you'd be sent away somewhere else.

Training was hell. No matter how much you tried to avoid Irene, Marta or Alexia they always appeared. It didn’t seem that Olga had told Alexia or that anyone else knew but it was only a matter of time. All you needed was a few weeks, just to get through the Copa de la Reina final and then you could figure it out.

Thankfully the week went fast and the game on the weekend was a success. There were no more run ins with Olga, or any of the captains of the team. You went as far to complete ignore Eli, Alba and Olga after the game. Quickly running into the locker room and showering before anyone else.

It was harder to hide in the facility after home games. It was busy with trainers, medical staff, admin staff, basically everyone but you figured it out. It was a restless sleep, the close call with Olga playing in your mind on repeat.

Unbeknownst to you, Eli had mentioned it to Alexia at their usual family dinner post match.

“Nena moved.”

“To where?” Both Alba and Alexia’s head shot up.

“I don’t know. She didn’t say anything. I heard her papi say Madrid. I’m assuming she isn’t joining since she’s still playing here.”

“I’ll find out.” Olga knew in that moment she needed to come clean about finding you on the beach. Clearly you didn’t have somewhere safe to stay. Later that night, when it was just her and Alexia cuddled in their bed she did just that.

“I saw Nena at the beach the other morning.”

“Likely place for her to be. She has mentioned loving the beach in the past.” Alexia dismissed what Olga was saying, not particularly understanding why that was important.

“No ale. I think she slept there. She had a sleeping bag and heaps of stuff.”

Silence encapsulated the couple. “I’ll deal with it.” was all the captain said before rolling over and going to sleep. Expect, she didn’t sleep. She played through every interaction she’d had with you, every imagine of you in her mind. You looked tired, the light behind your eyes was gone, you had fully retreated back into your shell, barely talking at training or games, only answering questions when directly asked.

Something was definitely wrong, very very wrong. Enlisting the help of Irene and Marta and Olga, they would find out exactly how wrong it was.

It was evident when you came into training that you hadn’t slept, the truth was that the beach no longer felt safe. Not after that creepy man was watching you. Staying at the facility every night wasn’t an option, neither was staying with a teammate. So you stay at the train station all night. It was relatively safe, but the thought of that man kept you awake.

You’d gotten half way through the day when you snapped. Usually you’d try and stick to Caro or Keira’s sides. Caro because she was quiet and Keira because she couldn’t exactly understand you and you couldn’t understand her. Unfortunately the gym groups were assigned differently today, meaning you got stuck with Mapi, Pina, Patri and Cata. The group of people you hated being around the most. There was never a quiet moment, they were always loud. So incredibly loud.

It was after Mapi had ruffled your hair for the third time that you mumbled for her to stop.

“We can’t hear you gallina. Speak up.” Patri laughed.

“I said, don’t touch me. And don’t call me gallina.” Your patience was thinning, and fast.

“Cheer up gallina. We are just playing.” Mapi went to ruffle your hair again, your hands landing on her chest and shoving her back into Cata.

“I said don’t fucking touch me Maria!” Everyone stopped, turning in horror to see the scene unfold. Tears welled in your eyes, you bolted as fast as you could.

“Nena-“ Ingrid tried to grab your wrists but you dodged her.

Alexia, Irene and Marta all stopped what they were doing. It was extremely unlike you to be so aggressive and rude. No matter how shy you were, you always used your manners. They all shared a look before following you to the locker room.

You rushed through the locker room trying to get your bags packed as fast as possible. You had no idea where you would go, but you needed to get out of here. Far away from the sympathetic looks of your teammates. You were so far in your own head that you didn’t hear the cleats on the floor or the door to the locker opening.

“Nena? What’s wrong?” Irene’s hand on your shoulder startled you.

“Nothing I’m fine. I need to go.” You shrugged her hand off you, putting your backpack on and grabbing your duffle that contained your pillow and sleeping bag.

“Please let us help Nena. We want to help you but we can’t if you don’t let us.” Marta spoke up next, as you looked up you saw that Alexia was standing between you and the door, the only route out of the locker room.

“Please move. I want to go home.”

“Home? Where is that Nena? It’s not in Mollet del Vallès. I know that much.”

You squeezed your eyes shut and took a deep breath, yelling at your captains was a horrible idea, truly horrible. Even in this mental state you knew that, “I do not want to be rude Alexia, but it’s none of your business. I come here, I train, I play, I do as I am told, I don’t make trouble or do anything wrong. Please let me leave.”

Alexia looked troubled. You needed help, that much was clear, but you were right. You did everything that was asked of you, never complaining or whining about it. She looked to Irene for help, Irene simply nodded and alexia moved.

“If you need help, somewhere to stay, you have my address and you know where Mami is.”

A curt nod was all she received and then you were gone. As fast as you could walk without causing any attention to yourself. You spent the next few hours walking around. When it was dark and late, the train station was where you headed. It wasn’t until you were comfy that you realised you grabbed the wrong bag. You left your sleeping bag and more importantly your phone charger at the training facility. There wasn’t much that could be done now, you just had to wait it out.

As you walked into training, you could feel everyone’s eyes on you. You were late, never have you been late before. The lack of proper sleep, nutrition and your body always on high alert was getting to you. By the end of training you were exhausted. Barely having the energy to walk into the locker rooms to shower. Usually when someone was late without giving a proper warning, they’d run laps. No one told you to run laps so you didn’t.

A few days later, at the beach, Olga saw you again. This time you looked worse than before. She made her way to a local bakery, getting water, coffee and something for you to eat before making her way back towards you and hoping you wouldn’t run off.

“¿Niña? Can I sit with you?” She startled you, that much was obvious but you nodded and she handed over everything she bought.

“Why are you here?”

“I like the beach.”

“You’re sleeping here?” She could tell you were scared, it took a while for you to reply.

“Only sometimes.”

Olga nodded, the silence settling over the both of you. “Let me take you to training?”

The drive seem to take forever. It was uncomfortable, Olga wanted to get more information out of you, you wanted nothing more then to be swallowed into a black hole.

“Niña? If you don’t have anywhere safe and warm to stay, please come to mine and Ale’s? We won’t be mad, or disappointed. We want to help you. Okay?”

You gave her a small nod, moving to wipe your tears and get out of the car. Unbeknownst to the both of you, Alexia was in her own car a few metres away watching the whole thing.

It took a day for Alexia to coax all the information out of Olga but when she finally did, she was heartbroken. The thing she had hoped wasn’t true, was in fact true. You were living on the street. Sleeping wherever you could, your papi had left you to fend for yourself. It’s not that you were doing a horrible job at it, but it was obvious you weren’t eating or sleeping enough.

The night of the El Classico is when things went truly horrible. Alexia had told Irene, Mapi and Marta what had happened but any time they tried to talk to you, you literally ran away.

The streets of Barcelona were well and truly alive. The Madrid fans had left the Johan feeling annoyed, angry and disappointed. Anyone would when their team lost 7-0. It probably wasn’t the smartest idea to sleep on the beach that night, but there truly wasn’t anywhere else. The train station would’ve been worse, the facility wouldn’t be quiet until after midnight, and there was no way you’d go to a teammates house.

You’d only just drifted to sleep when you heard the group of guys approaching. They were drunk, that much was obvious. Pretty quickly you woke yourself up, but you didn’t dare to move. Maybe they would just keep walking. Your back was facing the sea, and them but as soon as they laid their hands on you, you turned around.

“Oye, it’s the Barca puta.”

“You’re the reason we lost.”

“We should break her legs!”

The fear set it. As soon as the hits started, they ended. Not only had they assaulted you, but they had stolen your school bag that contained your laptop, water bottle and phone charger. It look a while for the pain to become tolerable. you could recognise that you were bleeding, your ribs hurt, along with your arm, head and leg. You were scared and alone.

Abandoning the beach, you made your way to the one place you could think of. The two women who had urged you time and time again to let them help you, you had refused but right now you needed it more than anything. With the help of your phone maps, you managed to get to their apartment. It took a lot longer than it should have, having to stop every now and then to take deep breaths when the pain was too bad.

You weakly raised your fist to the door, the energy was zapped out of you. It felt like forever before someone answered.

“Hol- holy fuck. Alexia! Come here neña. Let me help you. ALEXIA!” Olga answered the door, annoyed that someone was knocking so late at night. The minute she opened it, she wanted to cry. You were stood there, bloodied and bruised. Seemingly out of it, looking so small and frightened.

She starting leading you to the kitchen when alexia finally came, “what? Oh my god, pequena! What happened?”

“Hurt.”

“Where hurts neña?”

“Head bleeding… arm broken, I think… maybe ribs… leg too. Stole my school bag.” Alexia was freaking out, the usual calm, stoic captain was on the verge of tears.

“We need to call the police Olga! And mami and Irene and-“

“Ale stop. Neña, drink this yes? Alexia is going to get the first aid from the bathroom and we are going to clean you up. We will need to take you to the hospital, but that can wait for a few minutes.” She gave alexia a pointed look while she opened the water bottle and helped you drink.

Their apartment was soft. Very homey and not clinical like you imagined. There were photos of Alexia and her family, Olga and hers, then of them both. There were plants scattered around, a few awards here and there but not many, the one thing that seemed out of place was the dog bed and toys.

“Dog?” Olga’s eyes followed yours, confused as to what you were asking.

“Nala. She died last year but we haven’t been able to get rid of her things.”

“Sorry”. Alexia arrived back with the first aid kit, phone to her ear and a lot less panicked but a lot more mad. that stressed you out, Olga picking up on it straight away. Things moved fast from that point. Alexia and Olga cleaned you up the best they could but ultimately decided that you needed the hospital. It was all a blur. One minute you were in their apartment, the next you were in a hospital gown sitting in a room.

Alexia was non stop pacing, you sat there, wide eyed waiting for her to say something.

“You can say it.” You whispered.

Both girls stopped and looked at you confused, “say what pequena?”

“I told you so’ or ‘you should’ve let me help’, whatever you have planned just say it.” You could no longer look at them, staring down at the floor. You missed the look of heartbreak sweep across both their faces.

“No no pequena. This isn’t your fault. None of this is your fault. There’s no ‘I told you so’ to be said. You came to use when you needed help, we are here now to help that’s all that matters. Okay?” Alexia slowly reached out to wipe the tears from your face.

“I’m sorry.” That was it. All three of you were holding each other crying. Time seemed to blend into one second. You got stitches in your eyebrow and on your leg, your arm was in fact broken and a cast was put on. The doctor seemed to talk and talk, none of the words making any sense. It was until you saw the two police officers standing outside that you seemed to snap out of it.

The doctor left the room, seemingly to talk to the police officers and give them a run down. Olga noticed how on edge you were very quickly.

“Hey, neña, they are only here to ask what happened okay? You aren’t in any trouble.”

You stood up quickly, grabbing the bag with your blood stained clothes, “no I need to go. This was a mistake.”

“Go where pequena?”

“They are going to take me away! I don’t have anywhere to live Alexia! Papi left. He got rid of the house. Mami is dead. I have no where so I’m going to leave before they can take me.”

“Neña no.” Olga moved to block the door. She is small. You could take her, you thought. “You’re staying with us. They aren’t going to take you because you have a home, with us. You will stay as long as needed.”

Alexia and Olga hadn’t exactly had the conversation about it, but they both seemed to be able to read each other’s minds. They were going to take care of you, love you like your parents should have. Sure you’re 16, almost an adult. But everyone needs a parental figure, no matter the age.

“No. You two have your own life, I’m not your responsibility. I can take care of myself, I have been for years.”

“But you can’t neña. You can’t get an apartment, or a phone plan, or your drivers licence. If you’ll let us, we will take care of you.” You were considering it, really considering it. Having a proper bed, proper meals, somewhere safe? It sounded like heaven.

“It won’t be easy pequena, it’ll be hard. For all of us. We’ll have to learn to trust each other, and learn how to live with each other but it’ll be worth it. You can decorate the room however you want, we will buy you whatever you need.”

Before they could continue, the police came in. It took a while to answer all their questions. You could see Alexia and Olga holding hands tightly, wincing slightly when you go into detail.

“What about my school bag? It has all my school stuff and my laptop?”

“We will look for it, but there’s no promises it’ll be found. Do you have somewhere safe to stay?”

“With Alexia and Olga.” You could visibly feel the tension leave both the women. The officers asked Alexia and Olga to step out with them to talk, you took a few moments to gather your thoughts. How had things changed so much. You were just a kid, yet you were forced to look after yourself like you were an adult. You wanted to be vulnerable, to have someone take care of you. Sometimes all we need is a little love.

Maybe in time, things would get better.

#alexia putellas #alexia putellas x reader #fcb femení #barcelona femeni #mapi león #ingrid engen #alexia x reader #futfem #woso x reader #woso imagine #woso fanfics #woso community

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visibleclosedeyes · 6 months ago

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Gap in my heart (Literally)

pairing: Mr. Gap x reader

“Hello”

While you prepare to work in your bedroom–doing your makeup and hair, putting on your uniform–ready for the day ahead, a chilling but familiar voice calls you.

“Mr. Gap? Uh. Me not play,” You said without turning your head toward the voice. Since the day you managed to get out of that Otherworld, Mr.Gap has consistently shown up in your space in the gap in the wall, in different containers, and so forth. At this point, you kinda have a domestic relationship together. Boyfriend? You wouldn’t go that far, but something is there.

“Disappointed” Mr. Gap narrowed his eyes before asking another question

“Where go?”

“Same place every day, Mr. Gap. Working. uh–Me work, same work.”

“Why?” He asks, eyes still narrowed–displaying an unreadable expression that you guess to be some kind of discontentment. It surprised you really–Mr. Gap isn’t a high-maintenance type and he never asked you these questions before. What changed?

“Uh…Work hunger gone,”

“Work stop hunger?” He seems interested now.

“Not exactly. Work gives things, and things get food.” You try again to explain to Mr. Gap the concept of monetary exchange and bill to the best of your ability.

“....not understand, residents don’t need work. Why work?”

“Humans need work, me human…Mr. Gap, why curious now?” You ask a question of your own.

“Me bored, Stay,”

“Can’t. Need work,”

“Disappointed” He responds, the conversation sounds like it goes back to the very beginning.

“Give finger?”

“No,”

“Disappointed” He repeats yet again before disappearing.

Working is hard. Living in the human world is hard. You know this already but it seems like every day her co-workers really remind her of that fact. Today is just another day of demoralizing work days. Getting yelled at by your boss because of your co-worker's mistake is not fun. In the parking lot, you are sitting there with a cigarette between your fingers contemplating whether or not to murder your co-worker, literally speaking. Suddenly between the gap in the wall opposite to you, a familiar pair of eyes pop up.

“Hello”

“Mr. Gap??! How did you..? Oh right, you can show up in any gap,”

“Human trouble?”

“Its nothing, just hard day at work,”

“Me solve problem, give me finger,”

“What? No! Not give finger,”

“Boring. Goodbye,”

Almost every day was the same old same old—your co-worker is an annoying asshole who purposefully caused issues just so he could blame it on you.

“Where are the documents the boss asked you to do?” Speaks of the devil… the most annoying face among the co-workers in this shitshow of a company has shown up like a fucking ghost the moment she starts thinking about her job

“What? What documents?” She answers truthfully. What fucking documents? And why is she hearing this just now?

“Seriously, the boss wants you to be the one to do it. you’re seriously irresponsible. Why did they even hire you?” He said with such a fake shocked expression on his face. Wait, so the boss told him…

"Boss told you this and you never told me?” she asked him in disbelief

"You never ask me to tell you, you should have been more active,” He snickers with a smug smile. Oh, this irritating fucker.

2 months and 1 week. She has sworn off killing people for exactly two months. Like a proud ex-addict, she wears that pride quietly on her mind, unable to announce how prideful she is for not killing some random pedestrians who show up in an abandoned apartment. She wants to keep it that way, but this man seems to be testing her patience. She is going to lose it and kill this guy on his way home.

"There is still time left. You can take responsibility and be active for once. Give me a call once you are finished!”

your palms curl into a fist full of hate and rage–this man has no idea who he is up against. She fantasizes about the different ways she would go about killing him. Her regular method of a crowbar to the head would be the safest route but this guy is a piece of shit to her so far and she wants to do something special for him.

No, she doesn't want to kill these days. Hunting and killing seems to be a hobby she lost interest in a while ago. Now, she simply wishes for a more simple life after all those lives she proudly took.

(not finish)

One day, when she was working as per usual–she hears the sound of that asshole screaming from the restroom

"I swear! I saw it there! a pair of creepy eyes between the crack in the wall inside the male restroom!”

"some pervert looking into the male toilet?”

"No! I…I don't think it's human–when I saw it, it just disappeared into thin air!”

"I think you should go see a doctor”

“Yeah, are you I'll or something? Did you hear a voice in your head too?”

“S–shut up! Stop mocking me! I fucking saw it, Ok?!”

It seems like vacation comes to visit you early this year as she hears one of the best but most shocking of all week. Her asshole co-worker has decided to quit, it also seems like he has been scared shitless and borderline losing his mind at something that most people don't seem to understand. Many think that he cracked under constant pressure but she has a better idea of what might have happened. She didn’t think to ask of him at this current time but it seemed like he could read her mind somehow when she found him manifesting in her bag, a pair of gleeful, teasing eyes with an otherworldly smile somehow made her heart skip beats.

“Mr.Gap!”

“Hello. Me good resident.”

“I heard about the haunting spirit between the wall’s gap in the male bathroom—did you do it? The guy who tormented me quit”

“Me solve problems, me good resident,”

“Yeah, that was a good one. Good, thank you”

“Give good resident finger?”

“No”

“Disappointed”

#homicipher fanfiction #homicipher #mr.gap x reader #mr. gap #homicipher x mc #homicipher x reader #i swear next fic will be smut #mr. gap x reader

547 notes · View notes

senpazzi · 2 months ago

Text

Your Friendly Next-Door Firefighter

pairing: firefighter!johnny suh x afab!reader

synopsis: your hot nextdoor neighbor is a fireman who took interest in you. after an encounter where he saves you, you repay the favor by going on a date with him.

warnings: heavy smut, cursing, alcohol, mentions of fires, buildings burning, smoking, johnny lecturing you, you being in distress, etc.

based off this request ❤️‍🔥

ꕀ .* ♡̩͙ ✧˖*° ꕀ .* ♡̩͙ ✧˖*° ꕀ .* ♡̩͙ ✧˖*° ꕀ .*

The day was beautiful. The sun was beaming and a soft breeze filled the skies on a warm spring day. You were sitting outside on the balcony of your studio apartment on the 7th floor of your apartment building.

Reading a book and sipping away at your drink, basking in the beauty of the sun. It was early afternoon and you were free of work today at your law firm apprenticeship. Thankfully, your lease agreement was manageable, and the rent on this side of town was cheaper than anywhere else in the city you could live.

A pungent smell filled your nostrils as you turned your head to the side and saw your elderly neighbor puffing away at a cigarette. You usually minded your business, not really caring too much about a smoker. But it was killing your vibe, especially today when sitting outside was the only fun thing you wanted to do.

Deciding not to be an inconvenient neighbor, you placed your bookmark in your pages and began to rise from your chair, when you heard a soft yet stern voice fill your ear.

“Excuse me,” rang in your ear as your head turned to match the voice to the face.

Your elderly neighbor looked in your direction, yet right past you. “What do you want kid?” the elder man asked cockily, cigarette still in hand.

Your eyebrows furrowed as you turned your head to follow the direction, only to be met with the most strikingly handsome man you’ve ever seen.

He was tall, as fuck. Buff, as fuck. His skin was glowing, his hair was thick and dark. He wore a blue compression shirt and his uniform pants and boots. Your incredibly hot neighbor also was a firefighter. God if that wasn’t the hottest thing ever for you, you didn’t know what was.

The firefighter giggled looking directly at the older man. “I think you’re disrupting our neighbor's peace, I’m sure she didn’t want to enjoy her time in the sun with your cig ashes blowing everywhere,” he pointed out as the man was smoking without an ashtray.

“I’m not an expert, but I’m pretty sure flicking ashes off your balcony isn’t the safest thing either. Right Miss?” he asked as his head cocked over to your direction, looking for your agreeance.

Your eyes widened a bit as you held your items close to your chest. Your mouth opened ajar to try and speak as you stammered out your sentences. “Hm? Well I mean, I don’t think it’s safe but it’s fine, I can just go inside no big deal,” you sheepishly replied as you turned towards the screen door to your space.

“Hey hey, okay fine whatever,” the older man scoffed as he threw the half-lit cigarette over the balcony, groaning and rolling his eyes at your handsome neighbor. He reluctantly went back inside to his own space. “Fucking kids,” he spat out before closing his door.

You were now awkwardly left outside with your next-door neighbor, leaning over the railing of his balcony. “Thank you, but that really wasn’t necessary,” you softly spoke to the man as you stepped back over to your chair.

The man shook his head over at you. “He was being an asshole for not considering those around him,” he shrugged as he stared over at your now resting figure. “Plus, everyone knows smoking over a balcony is dangerous. He’s too old to be smoking anyways,” he chuckled off.

You joined in with a small laugh and opened your book again. “Uhm, sorry I’m Y/n. What’s your name?” you politely asked the stranger.

He smiled kindly, “My name is Johnny, I actually just moved in about 2 weeks ago,” he introduced himself with a small wave. “I would properly shake your hand but you know,” he awkwardly pointed out the distance between you both.

You smiled back nodding your head and acknowledging his words. “Yeah, I knew you had to be new, I definitely would’ve noticed you sooner,” you shyly admitted as you dug your nose back into your book.

The man chuckled lightly to himself. He dug his hands in his pockets, swaying a bit with the breeze as he analyzed you. Your soft features glow in the sunlight. You were undoubtedly beautiful to him.

“Well, I should be the one to admit that I’ve noticed you since I moved in, “ he confessed matter of factly. “You’re not hard to miss, easily the prettiest girl I’ve seen in a long time,” he graced with a warm assuring smile.

You nodded along with his words returning a bright smile as your cheeks flushed a faint shade of red. “Thank you, Johnny,” you said as you began to eye his uniform. “Uhm, so you’re a firefighter?” you asked curiously as you pointed out his uniform.

He nodded at your gesture. “Yeah, right up the street actually, I have work in about 30 or so,” Johnny responded as he pointed his head in the direction of the fire department.

You nodded along to his words. “Oh well, I guess I should let you get going hm?” you asked rhetorically. “It was wonderful to meet you though, would love to see you again soon,” you politely bid goodbye with a small wave.

Johnny’s smile never faltered at your kind action, waving as well as he began to walk into the space of his apartment. “I’ll definitely see you again Ms. Y/n,” he assured to as he entered inside.

A relaxing sigh escaped from you once you were sure of him being safe inside his apartment. Your day continued, even though he never left your mind. He noticed you, let alone noticed you first. A guy as handsome and polite came around very rarely, especially in your life.

You didn’t have the easiest time with picking men like Johnny. If you ever got the chance, you knew you couldn’t let him slip away.

ꕀ .* ♡̩͙ ✧˖*° ꕀ .* ♡̩͙ ✧˖*° ꕀ .* ♡̩͙ ✧˖*° ꕀ .*

The next few days went along as usual. Working your apprenticeship at a law firm, coming home after horrible traffic, and winding down with TV and dinner. However, in the past few days, you’ve noticed Johnny more.

In the elevator, you’d see him enter as you exited, or vice versa. He was even taller when you were next to each other, he hovered over you during every small conversation you two had.

He would talk about his job humbly, surprisingly there weren’t many calls in the area. As if everyone was responsible when it came to fire scenarios. Today, you were unfortunately the individual in such a scenario.

You were cooking, you always cooked. Your gas stove was giving you issues tonight, yet all you wanted to make was some pasta. For whatever reason, the flame on your stove wouldn’t catch on fire. You also already had a pot filled with salty water ready to boil.

“Ugh! Come on, fuck,” you cursed to yourself, twisting the knob to your stove to light. You frustratingly twisted the knob multiple times until a flame finally erupted around the pot, causing you to be startled. Startled enough to knock over your pot of water into the flames, an eruption escalated over your stove.

You panicked. The flames engulf your pot, yet do not spread. You couldn’t think, smoke arrived in your small kitchen as you watched the bright light take over.

You screamed and wailed helplessly, not even being able to process what to do. Fortunately, you had a firefighter right next door.

You slipped on your slippers as quickly as you could, running to the door next to you banging rapidly on it.

“Johnny!” you wailed out, looking around for any signs of the fire spreading. “It’s Y/n! I really need your help right now please-“ you rambled out before you were caught off guard by the door swinging open.

Johnny in all his glory stood about in his black-white beater with sweats and sandals on, looking with furrowed brows at your frantic behavior. His hands softly met yours, holding them warmly as he met your gaze trying to calm you down.

“Breathe Y/n, what’s wrong are you okay?” he asked softly as his hands reached to your rising shoulders.

You were breathless and frantic trying to explain to him the situation that was taking place. “Please, my stove is on fire and I don’t know what to do!” you screamed as tears began to stream down your frazzled eyes.

Johnny took a deep breath and nodded understandably. “Do you have baking soda?” he asked almost too coolly. You confusedly nodded your head.

“Where is it? Is it a lot?” he continued asking you, holding your arms a bit tighter. “Under the sink, and yeah it’s a pound bag,” you responded a bit more slowly. “What does-“You were caught off guard once again by his voice.

“Stay here,” he instructed as he ran into your apartment.

You stood in his doorway confused and attempting to catch your breath. You were so stupid. How could you be dumb enough to allow your apartment to almost catch on fire?

Johnny came into your kitchen to see the fire surprisingly smaller than he anticipated. He carefully entered the space, looking under your sink for the said baking soda. Once he grabbed the bag, he opened it as quickly as he could before throwing the contents over the flames.

Repeating this step, the fire was completely put out. He sighed in relief, before cleaning away the baking soda and emptying your pot into the sink.

After a few minutes passed, Johnny met you back in his doorway. “It’s okay Y/n, your stove is fine. Next time a small fire like that happens, just pour baking soda over it,” he lectured as he walked back to your shaken frame.

You sniffled and wiped your tears away embarrassedly, reluctant to meet his gaze. “I’m so sorry, that was so stupid of me,” you apologized to him meekly.

Johnny chuckled a bit under his breath before extending his hand to rest on your shoulder. “Y/n don’t apologize, it happens to the best of us. I’m just glad I was able to help and you’re safe,” he assured before he gripped his cell phone out of his pocket.

He handed it to you with the contact application open, displaying the dial pad. “Here, put your number in. In case you ever need me again or need to talk, I’m here for you,” he requested giving you a gentle smile.

You nodded without a second thought. Take the device, enter the digits, and save the contact as your name. You handed back his phone with a coy smile. “I don’t know how to thank you, Johnny, I owe you one,” you expressed solemnly.

The taller man’s head sparked an idea almost instantly at your remark, the sheepish smile plastered across his face at the thought.

“I’d love to take you out Y/n, I’d love to know more about you if that’s okay with you?” he asked steadily even though his heart felt like it was ready to jump out of his chest.

And so did yours.

You looked in disbelief at his request, yet couldn’t deny the excitement pooling inside of you.

“Oh god, of course, I’d love to go on a date with you,” you, almost too excitedly assured him.

Johnny released a relaxed sigh. “Thank god, I was nervous you didn’t want to for a second,” he expressed as he teasingly held his hand over his heart, erupting a laugh from you.

“How could I say no? You saved my apartment and you’re so handsome, I love my friendly, next-door firefighter,” you giggled placing a warm hand on his broad shoulder.

Johnny’s smile grew even wider at your words. That’s when another one of his ideas struck him, he silently prayed he could be lucky enough to get you on board.

“You know, the fire department loves it when we bring visitors and family or friends out to see our work,” he began as his eyes carefully locked into yours. “I think it would be amazing if you came and I gave you a tour, we could get something to eat afterward?” he added.

You didn’t need to think twice, obviously agreeing with his point and planning out the details of your future date.

“It’s getting late Johnny,” you concluded as you checked the time on your phone. “I’ll go to bed now but, thank you again. Text me tomorrow okay?” you bid as you turned to face the direction of your apartment.

Johnny nodded with a coy smile, eyes never leaving your frame to make sure you safely made it inside. “Goodnight Y/n,” he wished as he opened the door to his place, one foot inside.

“Goodnight Johnny,”

ꕀ .* ♡̩͙ ✧˖*° ꕀ .* ♡̩͙ ✧˖*° ꕀ .* ♡̩͙ ✧˖*° ꕀ .*

What did someone wear on a date to the fire department?!

A pair of jeans and a T-shirt are entirely too casual. It was still a date, you needed to look hot at least to some degree.

Maybe a sundress? Too provocative to wear around his coworkers in your humblest opinion, save it for a future occasion.

You cursed frustratingly to yourself as you rummaged through various items in your closet. Your attempt to find an appropriate, yet jaw-dropping outfit for your date with the hottest man in your apartment complex was almost impossible. To make matters worse, he texted you he’d be ready in 30 minutes, 45 minutes ago.

Noticing the time, you settled on a blouse with thin straps, yet a muted pink color, and some of your favorite blue jeans that were fitted to your liking. Thankfully you made a pedicure appointment not too long ago, brave enough to wear a pair of white sandals and jewelry that complimented the outfit.

Your hair was styled perfectly, not a hair out of place as you managed to put enough hair spray to keep down those fly-aways.

A gentle knock was placed against your apartment door. You took in a deep breath knowing exactly who would it be.

You braced yourself before collecting your purse and your phone, briskly jogging to the door and opening it after rubbing your sweaty palms against your clothing.

There in the doorway stood your handsome neighbor, adorned in his navy uniform shirt as well as his cargo pants and heavy-duty boots. God, who knew that this would be one of the perks of dating a firefighter? His uniform only made him hotter.

“Hello, beautiful,” he greeted with his signature smile, lips pursing as he respectfully sized you up and down. “Your outfit, it’s very pretty on you,” he complimented as he took your hand to spin you around, getting a full view of you.

Your cheeks flushed in response, and you rolled your eyes ever so teasingly at his actions as you ended the spin, hand still in his. “Thank you, Mr. Johnny,” you giggled as you stepped outside the door, locking it behind you. “Are you ready to show me around the department?” you asked with a bubbly tone.

Johnny couldn’t stop smiling if he wanted to. You were adorable. Perfect to him. You hadn’t left his mind since the day he moved in and saw you exit the elevator, yet here he was. Taking you to see his work, the career he was most proud of. The career you had an interest in seeing, even if it was just to make him happy before your real date.

“Of course love,” he acknowledged as he walked you two to the elevator.

The elevator ride was made up of mere small talk, he made some conversation about your apprenticeship and how you just finished law school.

You were smart, and Johnny noticed it in you. One of the reasons he was enamored with you. He noticed you from time to time, coming home from work or leaving the apartment in your business apparel. The heels, the pencil skirts, the blouses. He acknowledged every aspect of you, reading you as if you were a book he desperately wanted to dig into.

ꕀ .* ♡̩͙ ✧˖*° ꕀ .* ♡̩͙ ✧˖*° ꕀ .* ♡̩͙ ✧˖*° ꕀ .*

The drive to the department was short since it was the neighborhood fire department. Johnny parked in the lot adjacent to the area, exiting swiftly to come around the side to open your door and hold your hand to walk you inside.

“Thank you,” you expressed as your fingers interlaced with his. “You’re welcome love,” he graced sweetly. The sweet beam graced your face as he locked his car, leading you to the entrance of the garage where the fire truck was parked.

Leaning by the truck were two men whose eyes caught a hold of you, then back to Johnny with a broad smirk. The shortest of the three came over to pat Johnny on the shoulder. “What’s up bro, good to see you,” he greeted Johnny as his eyes met yours. “And who’d you bring here today?” he asked curiously yet politely.

Johnny’s cheeks flushed as he returned the shy yet wide grin. “Sup dude, this is Y/n. Y/n, this is my buddy, Mark,” Johnny gestured between the two of you. Mark extended his hand out to shake yours, just as the other man came around to his side and waved to you as well.

You shook Mark’s hand, smiling at him gently. “Nice to meet you,” you greeted. Your hands maneuvered over to the man next to him. “Hi, I’m Y/n,” you introduced as you shook the taller guy‘s hand.

“Jaehyun, nice to meet you,” he smiled respectfully shaking your hands as well, his dimples on full display.

The men had small talk, not excluding you from the conversation of course. But you kept your speaking to a minimum, not understanding much of the “firemen” lingo.

“Actually, I was here today to show Y/n around you know, let her get a glimpse of my work,” Johnny stated to the guys, causing your head to tilt over in his direction with a sheepish look.

“She’s my neighbor but, I’m trying to get out of that title,” he only half-joked, grasping your hand in his once more giving you the sweetest smile. His eyes are completely infatuated with yours.

The men nodded understandably, however failing to mute the smirks that they passed among each other. “Well, we’ll let you two enjoy your tour, glad to see you, John,” Jaehyun spoke up once more before patting Johnny’s back as he and Mark exited. “Nice meeting you Y/n!” Mark exclaimed following behind the older man.

You waved kindly behind you before looking back at Johnny. “They’re nice,” you remarked. Johnny playfully rolled his eyes as he led you inside the firehouse. “They’re dorks, but they’re my best friends. I don’t know why they were playing like they didn’t know you were coming today,” he confessed as you guys stepped inside the corridor.

They knew you were coming? That meant, Johnny spoke of you to his coworkers. Not even just his coworkers, but his best friends. Y/n, weren’t you the luckiest girl alive?

ꕀ .* ♡̩͙ ✧˖*° ꕀ .* ♡̩͙ ✧˖*° ꕀ .* ♡̩͙ ✧˖*° ꕀ .*

Your visit to the department was lovely. Johnny went into detail about all the protocols, tools, and training they dealt with in the department. He even showed you photos of him and his staff from their training days.

He took you down the basics of his training, telling you a few stories as well about his rescues.

“One time,” Johnny spoke as his hands were on the wheel facing the road. He was taking you two out of a restaurant of your choice, just for a casual lunch. Your head turned and faced his direction, acknowledging his words as he spoke about his endeavors.

“This woman’s smoke alarm battery was completely dead. Hadn’t changed it since she first moved into her home,” he solemnly told the story. “She fell asleep while making dinner, leaving the food in the oven. The house was smoked and foggy, that she almost suffocated from the ashes,” he told the story, remembering it like it was yesterday.

“It was my first-ever rescue, I was so young fresh out of the academy, I was petrified you know. She was an elderly woman. Thankfully, Jaehyun and I were able to get there quickly enough and safely got her to escape,” Johnny continued saying as a small grin tugged his lips. The memories, the lessons he learned from his job. He would be lying if he said he didn’t want to quit at first, but the outcome of saving others was worth it.

You sighed as he continued with his story, feeling a mix of heartbreak for Johnny. But, it opened your eyes to how truly amazing he is. Brave. One of the bravest professions someone could pull, he was humble. But he had every right to be proud of himself. He was selfless.

“God, Johnny wow,” you huffed out. Your eyes softened at his story, your mind making out the scenario as you put yourself in Johnny’s shoes.

“Her house, how bad was the damage?” you asked, thinking about the moment that happened to you only a few days ago. The amount of fear that fueled you, you could only imagine how horrid the situation was.

Johnny’s lips pursed into a straight line. His eyes sadly faltered as the memory flooded his mind. “It was almost impossible to get inside, thankfully her room was near the exit but, her entire bottom floor was burned down. She went to live with her kids and grandkids,” Johnny informed steadily, attempting to mask the pain in his voice.

You nodded along at his words, mind trailing back to the memory earlier this week. “You’re so incredibly brave. Your job is so important,” you began with your praise of him.

A soft chuckle erupted from him as he shook his head humbly, denying your claims. “No Y/n, I’m not as brave as I make out. I love my job, it is important. But, I’m lucky I get to maintain it,” Johnny humbly explained to you.

You shook your head in disbelief. “Oh Johnny, please. You rushed into my apartment without any gear, you’ve saved an old lady from burning to a crisp, you put out forest fires, you help teach people, even grown adults like me how to be safe,” you ranted rolling your eyes at how he discredited himself.

“At least to me,” your voice softened as your gaze faltered down, looking outside your passenger window meekly. “You’re amazing okay? The bravest man I’ve met, and I’m glad I get to go on a date with you and understand your job. It’s beautiful the work you do, please don’t disrespect yourself by ignoring your worth,” you ordered of him. It was genuine, the words, the feelings, everything you said.

You somehow didn’t notice that you were pulling into the parking lot of the restaurant you both agreed upon, however, he parked behind the building. Secluded behind trees and a multitude of other cars.

Once Johnny was securely parked, his entire expression was soft. His eyes looked for something in yours, they were locked. They glistened with a sense of hope, and his hands met over your clothed thigh resting gently upon it. “Do you really mean that Y/n?” Johnny asked quietly, gripping your thigh gently.

A pool of emotions flooded your nervous system. The touch was gentle yet intimate. His stare was hard. But it wasn’t intimidating, but it was undoubtedly lustful. You nodded slowly. “I mean it. I swear,” you whispered out, your eyes faltered to his lips.

Johnny noticed it. How could he not? His eyes never left yours, except to look at your lips of course. His hands cascaded your warm cheek as his thumb made its way to strum your bottom lip. His touch was featherlight, yet it was enough to get you wet on impact.

“I’m gonna kiss you now Y/n,” he informed barely above a whisper. “Is that alright?” he questioned blinking slowly, his breath becoming a bit unsteady as his heartbeat picked up.

You didn’t think twice. “Of course Johnny,” you allowed. Not even a moment after, the rush that took over Johnny quickly met your mouth. Your lips smacked against each other, and lewd and wet sounds filled the car.

Low hums escaped from Johnny as the kiss deepened, his hand pulling you by the nape to close the small space that was between you two. The kiss was heavenly, you couldn’t escape the pleasure overriding you. Neither could he.

You were always enticing to him, even though the time spent between you was minimal, it was more than enough for you and him. Neither one of you could

deny that you wanted this to happen. After a few moments, the hot kiss slowed down. Johnny pulled away from you slightly to catch his breath as his eyes remained on yours.

“Should we stop?” he asked quietly, his breath hitching the second you shook your head. “I don’t want to,” you admitted surely. It was genuine. You didn’t want to, how could you? Everything about him was addictive and you needed everything from him.

Johnny nodded along with your approval. “Get in the back seat,” he instructed sternly. Your face stayed steady, but your heartbeat quickened immediately at his words. You were nervous, but not scared. You nodded your head and turned to the side unlocking your door, going to the back side of the car, and getting in.

Johnny pulled his seat up all the way, struggling to get out a bit before going into the back seat, sitting in the now open space.

His eyes remained on yours heavily, flooded with desire. Your eyes reciprocated the look, mixing with hints of lust. You slowly propped yourself on your knees in the back seat, leaning over to his face to kiss him once more.

“Sit on my lap,” he pled. Your eyes glanced down at his lap, noticing a bulge threatening to peak out from his tan cargo pants. You couldn’t help but bite your lip at the sight. You head over to his frame, straddling his lap as your hands cupped his warm face.

“Like this?” you asked teasingly, a smirk threatening to creep across your face. Johnny released a low groan once he felt your warmth grace his sensitive area. He shifted into position, holding your hips tightly preventing you from moving too much.

“Amazing,” he whispers before his lips meet your collarbone. Soft kisses touched your skin, ejecting light moans from you and filling Johnny’s ears. Your hips instinctively grind against his lap, his stiffness piling at your core.

Groans escaped Johnny’s mouth, his warm breath hit your skin and arose goosebumps everywhere. The soft actions only cause you to become wetter and desperate for his touch. You whined in his ear incoherently, begging for his touch.

Johnny couldn’t help but smirk at your whines, his hand met your clothed sex toying amongst the denim of your jeans. A high-pitched moan left you, you desperately rutted against his large hand, needing to feel the friction against your clit. Your sounds were pure music to Johnny’s ears, as much as he knew you wanted to feel him, he couldn’t just yet. Not without completely teasing you to your breaking point.

Your eyes were squeezed shut, but he was sewn onto you. Eyeing every expression you made, every furrow of your brow, watching every whine escape your pretty swollen lips from his kiss. “You’re so desperate,” he pointed out smirking against your lips, brushing against yours with every word.

“So pretty, let me hear,” he asked as your head dipped into his collarbone, filling his skin with muffled whines as he palmed against your pussy. “So-“ you stammered out praises. “So, good. So good Johnny, please touch me,” you begged out for the firefighter.

He obliged, unbuttoning your jeans and signaling you to slip out of the fabrics preventing his hands. “How could I say no when you beg so prettily?” he graced as he watched you pull off your denim, taking along the panties you wore as well.

Exposing your bare pussy for him. You were soaking for him, immediately dampening his cargo the second you sat back down on his lap. He hissed at the impact and held you closer, pulling you into a deep kiss once more, engaging fully in you.

His hand slipped into your folds, he hummed at the intoxicating feeling of your wetness. His fingers explored your sex, fingers finding their way inside you penetrating.

You could hold back the moans that filled the car, your clit humped against his palm as you threw your head back at the feeling. Your sex coated his fingers, your hands gripping his shoulders as your face tensed from the intense feelings you were experiencing.

His face was calm and collected, lips tugged between his teeth as didn’t take his eyes off your expression. “So beautiful,” he whispered. “You’re so wet, I could take you right now,” he stated as he watched you cry out curses.

You could hardly speak to him, his long thick fingers caressing your insides made it difficult to focus on anything other than him. “Could you?” you asked quietly, eyes fluttering trying to see his expression. The grin on his face told it all.

He nodded again, pulling his fingers out to press them against your lips. Signaling you to suck away your own juices. You looked coy at the explicit action but did as he wished. Your tongue swirled away at the pads of his fingers, holding his wrist to gag yourself with his hands. You hummed against his digits, sucking away all of the sweetness that coated him.

“That’s a good girl,” Johnny cooed watching you intensively as you performed. His cock was pulsating, achingly wanting to take you right there in the car. Just like you so desperately desired.

“Take off my pants baby,” he said looking at you softly as he retreated his hand from your grasp. He trailed his hand over your chest, gripping at your breast.

You hissed at the feeling but remained focused on the moment. He was going to fuck you, at least that’s what you thought. You lifted yourself off his lap, unzipping his heavy cargo pants, and pulled them down to his ankles, taking his black Calvin briefs down with them.

His cock sprung up on queue, leaking with pre-cum. Flushed red. He was thick, just how you expected, but you didn’t expect how long he was, it was intimidating.

He caught you staring and chuckled. He gripped his length and strummed at it jerking himself off in front of you. “You scared?” he teased noticing your shocked and reluctant expression.

You shook your head. “You’re just bigger than I thought,” you shyly admitted, eyes clocking back and forth from his face to his tip. His cock was pretty, it was weird to admit but it was. It was perfect.

“Let me suck you off,” you asked as you bowed your head, arching your back and kneeling towards his cock. You took the warm member in your hand, stroking it for him.

Johnny’s hand instinctively found your nape, strumming at it lightly until you were ready to take him. Deep and dragged groans exude from his throat. He kept his eyes glued to the sight of you teasing his shaft. He twitched at your movements uncontrollably, you had him wrapped around your finger, figuratively and physically.

He thrusted into your palm trying to control his instincts. “Y/n,” he softly exclaimed. He was already near his breaking point, it was too much feeling your hand alone. He swiftly pushed your head down onto his cock, filling your mouth up. He was so long, his tip already pushing the back of your throat causing you to gag.

Saliva drowned his shaft, tears filled your eyes, and wet sounds coated the air. The sight is so explicit and lewd, lustful noises escaping your mouth. Johnny’s cock drowning in your sweet wet mouth. It was intoxicating for you both.

You fondled away at his balls, finding a steady rhythm to suck away at his cock. Kissing away at his tip, smacking the tip against your tongue. You tried your hardest to keep eye contact with him. Beads of sweat trickled down his face, his eyes hazy. He stared at you, hard. He couldn’t alter his gaze if he wanted.

“Fuck, don’t stop,” he commanded shoving your head back down onto his aching length. You grabbed the shaft, gagging as you tried to steady your pace the best you could. Your eyes fluttered and filled with salty tears at the impact.

“Look at me,” he instructed with a deep and stern tone, his hand around your nape keeping you steady. Your eyes fluttered but you maintained the contact the best you could.

“Good girl,” he groaned as he began to thrust into your mouth, fucking your throat harshly. “Gonna cum,” he warned as his pace was sloppier but still deep.

You choked, bubbles of saliva coated his cock and your hand. It was sloppy. But you and Johnny were so enamored in the feeling, that neither of you could care less. Your primary focus was getting Johnny to cum down your throat, you wanted to prove that you could please him. That you were exactly what he needed.

Johnny could already see that before this encounter. He knew he needed you the moment he laid eyes on you. The same way you knew you needed him the moment you laid yours on him.

Strings of curses and profanity stemmed from Johnny’s mouth. A warm salty sensation filled your tongue. You gagged and furrowed your brows at the taste. Johnny was panting harshly, and moans escaped. His heavy hands lie on your nape, keeping you in place as he fills your

mouth with his hot cum.

Once he finished, you pulled off with a pop sound escaping. You breathed heavily, your chest rising and falling rapidly as you wiped your lips with your forearm.

Johnny looked at you with a deep breath. “Are you okay beautiful?” he questioned politely, extending his hand to cup your flushed cheeks.

You shyly smiled, nodding your head after you finished cleaning your mouth. “Yes, I’m okay,” you assured him. You looked at his still-stiff cock. “Are you? Did that feel okay?” you questioned with a coy tone.

Johnny could only chuckle. “Yes, that was amazing Y/n,” he replied sitting up to kiss your lips swiftly, strumming your cheeks.

He looked down at his cock, sighing as he fixed away at his pants. “Let’s get ready to eat, right?” he suggested timidly, looking to you for approval.

You were a tad speechless. He didn’t want to fuck? Of course, you wouldn’t force him, it’s only the first date. You nodded with a small smile, fixing away at your blouse and pants.

The night was still young after all, whenever he was ready, you’d be welcoming with open arms.

ꕀ .* ♡̩͙ ✧˖*° ꕀ .* ♡̩͙ ✧˖*° ꕀ .* ♡̩͙ ✧˖*° ꕀ .*

The lunch was amazing, this time the conversation was directed at you. He learned more about all your interests and hobbies. That you love to read, what you read. How you got into your current profession, everything. Johnny loved to learn about you.

He talked to you for hours that day, it felt like you spoke about everything under the sun. You told him about your family, why you were living alone in the big city. Your dreams. Your goals. It was beautiful, the connection you were able to build in just the mere amount of time you spent together.

You both knew you wanted to take things further. Spending a few more causal lunch dates with one another, walking home together. You even called a few times since the encounter.

A few nights later. Johnny invited you over to his apartment. His monochrome, black, and white decor filled the area. Small portraits of close friends and family.

You were both sitting on his couch, music on his speaker playing in the background and you both were sipping on some wine he offered you.

“You know, Y/n” he stated, looking at you with a neutral expression. “You’re very interesting, I know it’s cliche but I genuinely think you’re different from any other girl I’ve ever met,” he continued timidly.

You looked with wide eyes at his claim, sipping at your wine and trying to catch his intent. “What makes you say that Johnny?” you asked curiously as you set your glass down, turning attentively to engage fully in his words.

He did the same, mimicking the way you turned to face him. His hand softly met yours, holding it close to him.

“Most girls don’t actually care about my career, they care about my money or my uniform. Not anything revolving my interests in and out of my career,” he admitted with a meek tone.

You nodded agreeing. Most girls your age didn’t look at a guy’s job as a part of him, but as something to brag about or validate in their desires. You looked at Johnny for him, not his title or money.

“I understand. It’s hard dating, especially for people our age. Most guys don’t necessarily like my job either, don’t like independent girls,” you relayed with an awkward laugh attempting to relate to him.

Johnny nodded at your words. “I think it’s amazing that you’re independent, it’s attractive. And, I love that you’re getting to know me as well. There’s a lot about you that I enjoy,” he conveyed to you, his tone being assuring and tender. His grip on your hand tightened.

You began to think a bit more, recalling the events earlier. The interaction in the car, how quickly he was told to discontinue the sex that was bound to erupt from you. It was awkward but understandable. You were never one to judge or rush, if anything it’s the last thing you wanted with Johnny. You wanted to make sure everything went smoothly for you two, in all honesty, you’d hate to ruin any chances you’d two have together.

The question came into your mind, and you decided there wasn’t a better time than now to approach the concern. “Is that why you were so, reluctant to have sex with me during our first date?” you let out quietly. It was embarrassing to ask, but you needed confirmation. To know that it wasn’t an issue with you.

Johnny felt a soft grin spread across his face. He took in a deep sigh, strumming his fingers through his hair. “In all honesty, yeah. That and, you just don’t seem like the type to fuck on the first date. I didn’t want to cross any boundaries,” he admitted to you.

He shook his head, almost as if he was in disbelief for telling you this. “I know you’re not like other girls, I always knew that much Y/n, and I never made that assumption about you,” he continued, his gaze faltering nervously. “I don’t want to sabotage us, I want to move as fast as you’d like, or as slow as you’d like. It’s up to you,” he explained deeply. The walls that he built up, instantly came down. His vulnerability was nonexistent in your presence.

You were at a loss for words. You and him were more similar in ways than you could imagine. If there weren’t enough signs that you two were made for each other, then you were both blinder than a bat.

“I’m ready for you whenever you are Johnny,” you confessed, leaning closer to his frame. Head resting against his shoulder. “Just, whenever you want to okay?” you guarantee.

Johnny nodded. He wrapped his arms around your waist, pulling you flush against his body. His heartbeat steadied at your embrace. You were the calm he needed in life. You were who he wished for all along. He couldn’t let you go.

Not now, not ever.

ꕀ .* ♡̩͙ ✧˖*° ꕀ .* ♡̩͙ ✧˖*° ꕀ .* ♡̩͙ ✧˖*° ꕀ .*

You paced in your living room, the TV showcasing the horrific scene in front of you.

“Reports showcase the local community center engulfed in flames, it’s estimated dozens of people were still inside the second the building caught on fire from an electrical malfunction,” the news reporter read off as she showcased pictures from the event.

You clutched your heart, Johnny hadn’t texted you in hours. He was one of the first responders at the scene, once you got the message, your nerves skyrocketed instantly.

Johnny ❤️‍🔥: the community center is on fire, have to go. It’s major.

Johnny ❤️‍🔥: don’t worry too much, I’ll be home okay?

Johnny ❤️‍🔥: I love you 😘

Your eyes were glued to the screen, the fire was extinguished, but Johnny still hadn’t texted back. The reports were still flooding, you hadn’t heard a single siren since they were called to the scene.

You begged out loud, just for a single text. Just to know Johnny was okay, you couldn’t stand the idea of what could happen to him. You understood this was his career. He helped others. It’s all he ever wanted to do. To protect others, save others.

But who would help and protect him? Your mind was flooded. The bravest man in the world just had to be the guy you decided to fall in love with.

A strong knock was heard against your wooden door. You sprinted on impact to open the door.

Flinging it open, you were met with a deep heavy embrace from Johnny. Covered in sweat, soot-covered cargo pants, and his shirt stained.

“Johnny, are you okay?” you asked frantically, tightly wrapping your arms around his neck. “God, I saw what happened on the news, I was worried sick,” you admitted breathlessly.

Johnny sighed into your embrace, picking you up without saying another word. Stepping inside the apartment, closing your door, and locking it for you.

You looked shocked. Holding on tightly, wrapping your legs around his waist.

Your bed in the center of a studio apartment, you felt yourself being placed against the mattress as his large frame hovered over you. His deep kisses are greedily plush against your neck.

You gasped out loud as his hands rapidly explored over your body. The degree of eagerness was foreign to you, Johnny could be rough but never rushed to please you.

You arched your back at his sloppy kisses melting over your collarbone. “Johnny please,” you gasped out placing a hand over his chest, creating space between you two.

Johnny looked at you with glossy brown eyes. The look on his face was mixed with too many emotions to read all at once.

“I-“ he stammered out choking on his words. “I was scared, going in there. It was like my first rescue all over again,” he recalled solemnly.

Your expression softened. Your hand caressed his cheek, a stray tear shed landing on your thumb. “It’s okay Johnny, I was worried sick about you. I’m so glad you’re okay, is everyone else okay? The news said you rescued everyone,” you gently asked, a positive gleam in your tone pursed as you mentioned the rescue.

He nodded slowly. “Everyone’s fine,” he guaranteed. “There were so many couples. Moms, kids, husbands,” he recalled shaking his head in a discouraged manner. “I couldn’t imagine how scared they were. I couldn’t imagine it being anyone I cared about in there, especially you Y/n,” he admitted embarrassedly. Tears silently streamed.

You couldn’t help but kiss him deeply. Holding him closer to you, chest to chest. He deserved to have all of his worries erased. You would make sure to relieve him from the stress.

“Just,” you sighed as you pulled away from his lips. “You have me, you’re safe with me. I’m safe with you,” you spoke out tenderly. Your fingers stroked his thick dark hair, pushing it out of his forehead.

“Let me help you, get rid of all your stress Johnny,” you pleaded. “Touch me however you want,” you suggested as you laid back against the mattress.

Johnny didn’t need you to tell him twice. In an instant, your lips connect once more. His hand pinned your wrists above your head. His other hand grasping your neck, the kiss rugged.

Johnny was against your body, chest-to-chest, completely against you. His stiff-clothed cock was against your clothed pussy. He rutted against you, groaning heavily at the feeling.

You softly moaned against his lips. He whispered sweet nothings into your ears. How amazing you felt, how much he missed you, how he needed you.

“I love you,” he whispered against your ears. Your eyes couldn’t even widen in shock, the intense tension building between you fogged your brain.

“I-I love you, Johnny,” you admitted engaging in a deep kiss with him once more. His tongue cascaded into your mouth. His forehead rested against yours for a moment, his eyes locked into yours.

“You gonna let me fuck you, baby?” he asked, even though the answer was more than obvious. Of course, you going to let him.

“You can do whatever you want to me, Johnny,” you admitted breathlessly, your hips bucked against his hard bulge. “Please, take these off,” you begged motioning to your clothes. You were wearing your pajama shorts and a tank top. No bra or panties.

Johnny could tell, your nipples piercing through the thin material. A pool of your wetness seeps through the thin material of your shorts. It drove Johnny insane, seeing you submit completely to him.

Seeing you in such little clothing. Hearing you admit your love for him…

You’re perfect, undeniably. He needed every ounce of you, and he needed it now. Johnny released his grip on your wrists and quickly fiddled with his pants, dropping them immediately. His Calvin’s immediately pulled down as well.

He pulled away his drenched shirt along with his white beater, exposing his defined abs. His shoulder tattoo is on display, God this man was enticing.

Your lips found their way between your teeth. Your eyes fixed on his figure. You swiftly pulled off your shorts in one movement, exposing your damp core. Spreading your legs out for his view.

He hissed immediately grabbing hold of his dick, squeezing tightly, and stroking it as he looked at your bare pussy. “You’re so wet, baby. You’re this wet for me?” he questioned with a sly smirk.

You nodded, your hand instinctively met your clit. You toyed with it as you watched Johnny. “I’m this wet for you,” you repeated his words to him, coaxing your fingers in your slick.

Johnny stared at the sight. It was heavenly. “Your pussy is so pretty love,” he complimented confidently smiling. Your cheeks flushed at his words. You smiled like an idiot, shaking your head at the compliment.

“Your dick is pretty,” you retorted playfully. A soft giggle escaped from Johnny, he leaned over your frame once more. He pushed your legs up to your chest, your thighs against your chest.

You hummed at the intense feeling. “You’re gonna feel it,” he informed gently. “Are you ready for it?” he asked once more, awaiting your approval.

You placed your hands beneath your thighs, Johnny leveled his cock closer to your core. You nodded in approval, awaiting him to enter inside you. “Please, I don’t want to wait anymore Johnny,” you begged with a slight pout that he kissed away instantly.

His kiss was deep and distracting, almost distracting enough for you to not feel his large cock enter your tight pussy. Stretching you out in an instant, deep inside your seeping hole. A scream attempted to escape before Johnny shushed you.

“Shhh, baby,” he quietly said as his hand covered your soft lips. Your screams were muted, but not gone. Your brows furrowed instantly, and your eyes almost neglected his.

His eyes were glued on you, your expression. You were so beautiful, he wanted to ruin you, have you a completely fucked out mess beneath him, only for him.

“Can’t be too loud baby,” he insisted as his thrusts were slow but deep. Extremely deep. His length already pierced your g-spot. “Do you want everyone to hear how good I make you feel?” he questioned with a condescending smirk against his handsome face.

You hummed loudly at the impact of each of his slow thrusts against his large hand. You couldn’t help it. The feeling was immense. You could only focus on the deep rutting inside your pussy, coaxing your neighbor's fat cock.

“Such a good girl,” he exclaimed slowly removing his hand from your lips, gripping your throat instead. Your screams were never silenced. It filled your walls, echoing into the studio apartment.

Your eyes focused on his focused expression as he quickened his pace, hips bucking into you. “Johnny!” you yelled out, whiny and desperate for him. Your hands attempt to grip his shoulders and back, instead scratching away at the flesh. Red marks cascaded across his skin.

He hissed at the pain, but it was disregarded from the pleasure he felt from being inside you. You were warm and wet, tighter than anyone he’s ever been with. You were heaven. His groans complimented your scream, music for his ears.

“You sound so pretty, listen to how wet you are,” he praised as he smacked against your dripping cunt. Your slick coaxed his cock beautifully, thick and white. “You’re already creaming over me,” he chuckled, pointing out the image before you.

“Ugh!” you moaned out, your hand gripping his thick dark hair. “Johnny! I can’t take it!” you whined out squeezing your eyes tightly at the intense movements he poured into you.

Your words only caused Johnny’s pace to quicken brutally. His hands now gripped your waist tightly as he fucked you into the mattress. “Don’t tell me what you can and can’t take,” he commanded with a serious tone. “You’re taking me so well, you can handle it. Right baby? You said I can use you to relieve my stress right?” he chuckled his words back at you. “I can touch you however I want?” he asked as his eyes locked into the sight of him penetrating you.

You whined nodding your head, knowing this was exactly what you wanted. What you hoped for. “Yes,” you quietly gasped out. “I can take it,” you lied. Not that you didn’t want it. You’d give anything to have Johnny fuck you like this anytime. All the time.

“You’re mine. Say it,” he instructed as his thrusts became sloppy. His dick was completely coated. Your cunt was aching. Your stomach tightened. Sweat encapsulated both of your bodies.

“I’m yours, Johnny!” you screamed out as your stomach turned with a filler sensation. “Please, let me cum!” you plead. You bit your lips harshly, wanting to feel the full extent of your climax.

Johnny’s head fell in between your collarbone right by your ear. “Cum, cum for me,” he instructed. He was near his climax but promised himself he couldn’t cum before you. You deserve to feel the height of this pleasure. You deserved to be cared for. To be pleased.

You couldn’t resist the feeling, you came on impact. The climax is hard and tiring. Strings of curses and screams escaped. Johnny’s ears rang from your loud voice. Not that he could ever complain, he would never.

Johnny groaned swiftly pulling out, just to have a pool of cum spurt out of the tip, all over your tank top. He threw his head in pleasure. He jerked out each string of cum until he drained.

You lay there, attempting to catch your breath. Eyes fluttering out of tiredness.

“Not yet baby,” Johnny perked up with a sly grin. Suddenly, Johnny’s head dipped between your legs. His wet tongue slid between your folds, cleaning away your cum. He used his large fingers to spread your damp folds, his tongue sliding across every inch of your pussy.

It was overstimulating in the best possible way. You pushed his head further into your cunt, feeling his muscle grace over your sensitive bundle of nerves. “Please,” you begged, eyes fluttering at the immense pleasure.

Johnny chuckled against your wetness, swallowing and slurping away your slick. Your cum sweet against his tongue. “You taste amazing,” he praised as he lifted himself up from your bed. He kissed your thighs swiftly before standing up and heading towards your bathroom.

You whined at the disconnect, lying on your mattress as you caught him wetting a towel to clean himself off.

He returned and gently cleaned your cum-tainted torso. A sly smile on his face as he eyed you. “You did so good,” he praised as he tossed the towel into your dirty clothes bin.

You smiled sheepishly at his words as you began to snuggle beneath your covers. “Thank you, it felt so good,” you shyly thanked him.

He nodded in agreement as he slid beneath your covers as well, pulling close to his chest. Your head laid against the skin, hand strumming over his abs.

“How do you even get an 8-pack this solid?” you giggled curiously as your eyes met his.

He looked at you with a coy smile, “Firefighter training does a lot for your body,” he simply stated as he stroked your lower back.

“Does firefighter training teach you how to fuck like that?” you giggled rhetorically.

Johnny returned to a soft giggle. “No, but loving you did,”

ꕀ .* ♡̩͙ ✧˖*° ꕀ .* ♡̩͙ ✧˖*° ꕀ .* ♡̩͙ ✧˖*° ꕀ .*

Author’s Note: hi everyone again! i’ve had a really fun time writing this one, i hope you enjoy and keep sending more requests. if you’re feeling generous, make sure to buy me a coffee to show ur appreciation!

love, mei!

244 notes · View notes

romancherry · 2 months ago

Text

caged in silk (2) – escape attempt

pairings ➝ dark!joel miller x dark!javier peña x dark!marcus acacius x female!reader

summary ➝ your escape attempt fails. after they bring you back, marcus punishes you himself.

warnings ➝ smut, spanking, dark!fic, manhandling, aftercare, 18+, MINORS: DO NOT INTERACT.

word count ➝ 2.940

author's note ➝ hi again! came back with a longer chapter for this series. hope you like it and if there are any warnings i forgot to include, please nudge me 🩷

do NOT repost, reupload, translate or plagiarize my work.

you don't know when you started planning it. maybe it was after one of joel's suffocating lectures about how dangerous the outside world is, or after javier kissed your forehead and whispered a honeyed threat in your ear, "don't run, cariño. it won't end well for you." maybe it was when marcus gripped your wrist just a little too harshly, his cold eyes telling you that resistance was pointless.

but you refuse to accept this life with these sick men.

so, you wait. you watch. you memorize their schedules.

the way joel double-checks the locks but gets sloppy when he drinks.

the way javier smokes out on the porch at night, lost in his own thoughts.

the way marcus dissapears for hours at a time (thankfully – he's the hardest and scariest to deal with).

then, finally, your chance comes.

joel's passed out on the couch, whiskey bottle loose in his grip. javier is in the backyard, smoking a cigarette and distracted by a phone call. marcus is gone.

now or never.

you move quickly, heart hammering as you unlock the front door, slipping barefoot into the night. the cold air bites at your skin, but you don't stop. you run; past the old fence, the trees. past the point where they ever let you go alone.

and for a while, you feel free. but not safe.

you make endless plans for when you arrive in the city. where it's safest to go, who to approach, how you should behave in order for someone to take you seriously.

you follow the road religiously. you run, and when your legs almost give out, you stop running and instead walk as fast as you can. always looking back, checking your surroundings and hoping for a car to stop by and save you.

you do hear a car. a truck engine, roaring in the distance. tires kicking up dirt. headlights slicing through the darkness.

your stomach drops.

you push yourself harder, lungs burning, but it's useless. the truck skids to a stop in front of you, cutting off your path. the door swings open, and joel steps out first. he looks... devastated.

"goddamn it," he breathes, raking a hand down his face. "why'd you do this, baby? why'd you make us come after you?"

javier is next. he doesn't say anything at first; just leans against the truck, watching you. when he finally speaks, his voice is too soft.

"you really didn't think this through, hm? did you, cariño?" he pauses to light up a cigarette, the stress evident on his furrowing eyebrows and tense stance. he looks like he held his breath the entire trip and finally relaxed when he saw you in flesh and bone.

and then there's marcus. he looks so fucking angry, dissapointed. he looks at you, slow and deliberate, like he's already planning your punishment.

when he takes a few more steps towards you, you shake your head, turn around and make a useless run from it. tears fall when joel grabs you, his arms caging you in, crushing you against his chest as he shushes your frantic cries.

"shh, baby. it's over now. we got you. we always got you."

javier moves in next, tilting your chin up, forcing you to look at him. his fingers are gentle, but his eyes burn.

"tell me," he murmurs, "who put these stupid ideas in your pretty little head? hm? who made you think you had a choice?"

you don't answer. you can't.

"you see, sweetheart, you broke joel's heart tonight. you dissapointed me too. but most importantly, you made marcus very, veeery angry," he points a finger towards him and your lip trembles in fear as your eyes follow. "and you know what happens when marcus is angry, don't you?"

as you close your eyes and more tears fall on your cheek, you barely flinch when javier hesitates before pressing a soft kiss to your forehead.

he remains at your level as he whispers, "i can't promise he'll be gentle, sweetheart. but i can promise that next time, you'll think twice about running away."

---

they don't take you back right away.

joel is still holding you, his grip tight enough to bruise, his heart pounding against your back. javier is standing so close you can feel the heat of his body. and marcus hasn't stopped watching you, his sharp, assessing gaze taking in every little shake, flinch and desperate breath.

you feel cornered, trapped. because you are.

joel exhales sharply, his fingers tightening around your arms. "you scared the hell outta me," he mutters, his voice shaking. he turns you around, forcing you to face him. his expression is tight, his jaw clenched.

"you coulda got yourself hurt. you coulda died. or worse – someone else, a bad man, coulda taken you 'way from us. do terrible things to ya. that what ya wan', doll? don't we treat ya good enough?"

"fuck. you." you snarl before spitting in joel's face.

you don't get a chance to see the anger on his face because he hauls you over his shoulder so suddenly it makes your head spin.

you scream, thrashing against his hold, but it's useless.

javier laughs, "guess we're doin' this the hard way, huh?"

---

the ride back is suffocating. you sit between joel and javier in the back of the truck, your legs trembling and your hands curled into fists. marcus drives, his grip steady on the wheel, saying nothing. he doesn't even glance back at you. not even once.

joel keeps an arm around you, pressing you against his side, his other hand resting on your thigh.

javier says nothing. keeps his mouth shut for once and decides to glance at the surrounding views through the window.

when you get inside the house, the atmosphere shifts. it's heavy. tense.

javier clicks his tongue, shaking his head. "now what do we do with you, cariño?"

joel sighs, dropping on the couch and rubbing his forehead. "she needs to learn."

marcus finally speaks. "she will."

that's the only warning before you get shoved against the wall by marcus. your head got hit so abruptly you felt like your conciousness was slipping between your fingers. there's no sweet talking your way out of this. no escaping.

"what were you fucking thinking, huh?"

"marcus," javier warns carefully.

"no," he bites back at his younger brother. "she needs a fuckin' lesson."

"i... i just wante-"

"to leave?" marcus interrupts.

you swallow. nod.

marcus lets out a humorless laugh. "that ain't ever gonna happen, stupid girl. you're ours," he ranks a hand through your hair, his touch so soft it almost makes you want to lean into it. but this guy is a fucking psychopath, worse than his two brothers. he barely talks, but when he does, he switches between different personalities so quickly you can barely process his intentions.

"you should be thankin' us. we gave you an escape ticket from the shithole you called living, and brought you to fucking paradise," he leans in towards your ear and practically screams the last two words, his voice hurting your brain. "ain't that right, boys?"

joel rises from the couch and comes next to marcus to graze his thumb from the apple of your cheek to your bottom lip, stroking it carefully and not liking the way a small amount of blood seeps through the chapped borders of your pouty lip. his eyebrows are furrowed in concern but his gaze remains stern. "he's right, doll."

a short moment of infuriating silence occurs. you study marcus' gaze and by the look of it, he's most likely thinking of all the possibilities to hurt you. punish you for your disobedience and trying to decide of a way or more on how to make you behave. because if there's one thing marcus hates, it's disobedience.

"what are we gonna do with you, hm?" he hums dangerously, cocking his head to the side. his tone seems mocking, inhuman. as if you're a stray dog in urgent need of taming.

"please," you try to beg, hoping for mercy. he fucking laughs in your face.

"please? no, baby, begging won't do. it just... won't do. you wanna act all innocent? you should've thought of that before trying to fucking escape," he is sincere. straight to the point. unyielding. his eyes are following your trembling eyes, glossy with tears you fight holding back. he sees right through your failed attempt to hide the regret of your unsucceeding plan.

"you wish your plan worked, huh? you wish i wasn't here, leavin' you to play the victim card with joel. hell, he might've even believed you, baby. he's the only one keeping me from choking you right where you stand."

you take a slow look at joel and you let a few tears fall free on your cheek. he looks dissapointed, broken. he was the only one who tried to make your stay as comfortable as possible. he held you tight at night and kept you warm, dressed and fed. and you failed him.

marcus taps your cheek twice with his rough hand, turning your attention back to him. "he ain't gon' save you now, sweetheart. he knows you fucked up. and now, he's gonna watch you get disciplined."

"no!" you let out a broken yell when marcus grabbed you by your arm and hurried you towards the couch. you try to slow him down by tugging on his arm and putting all your weight upon your feet, pressing the soles straight on the wooden floor, but his strength outranks yours.

he sits down on the couch and wastes no time in molding your body to his will to succesfully manhandle you over his knees. your abdomen presses painfully over his big thighs while your head hangs down beside the couch, your left cheek barely grazing the soft cover. marcus contorts your hands behind your back and locks your wrists together using his left hand while the other one tugs harshly on your sweatpants, revealing your ass.

"oh, would you look at that piece of cake," he groans in pleasure, his calloused right hand coming down to massage the plump flesh of your buttcheeks. "and this little string," he tugs at your panties, pulling them upwards and then quickly releasing the material so it slaps against your pussy. "looks so good, baby. beautiful body you got on ya. such a shame to ruin it."

he pulls your panties down in one brutal move, the cool air of the room hitting your bare pussy and making you shiver. marcus spreads your asscheeks and brings his face closer, staring between your legs. you can't see him, but the way your smell invades his nose makes his head dizzy. he fights the urge to bury himself in your cunt and absolutely devour you like a man starved. but tonight is about making you feel sorry, not good.

"come here, boys. look at this fuckin' treasure." he gestures to joel and javier and they both come behind you to glance at your wet cunt. all the stress, thrill and danger left not only a traitorous transparent spot in the center of your panties, but also evidenced your swollen pussy in the light of the room. you feel their hungry gazes staring directly in your center, and you have never felt more ashamed. you try to shield your dignity by clenching your asscheeks and thighs together, but marcus had none of it. he swatted your right cheek as a threat, the abrupt and fast contact with his hand forcing you to instantly relax and let him spread you apart even further.

"don't you fuckin' do that again, sweetheart. we have every right to see what's ours."

"jesus, cariño. you're fucking soaked," javier sighs.

"i know, right? barely touched her and she's drenchin' my lap," marcus mocks, and you roll your eyes in disbelief, wishing you had the guts to throw the snide remark that sits on the tip of your tongue. definitely not soaked because of you, fucking old creep.

"but this ain't 'bout makin' you feel good, darlin'. no. tonight i ain't gonna take care of your pussy. but that bratty attitude you got goin' on..." he slowly massages your ass, warming up the flesh, preparing you for what's to come, "oh yeah. now that's a fucking problem, huh? you gotta know your place."

his hand rises up from your flesh and before you can even think about bracing yourself for the impact, his hand comes down just as fast and brutal, making the soft skin ripple in waves from his touch. your body slightly shifts forward but the tight grip he has on your wrists holds you still. a warning. a threat. the more you move and struggle, the longer this will take.

he repeats his assault on each asscheek. his strikes are quick and they fucking sting. he doesn't hit you with his entire hand yet. his fingers are enough and prove to be very efficient.

you wonder that, if his fingers leave such a pain in their path... how much would his entire palm hurt?

it will surely leave marks. red hot and bruising. so painful they will remind you of the aftermath of your punishment for days to come.

and as if he can hear your thoughts, he makes them come true.

he swats three more speedy slaps on your left cheek, one after the other, leaving you no time to recover. and then, as you barely caught your breath, his palm connects with the right cheek so hard the sound vibrates against your ear.

he massages the tender area in a soothing manner, but it is useless. in fact, what he considers as a tender action, actually makes the pain worse; incorporating it into your entire fiber. making you bite your lip, flowing your head with high hopes that this will be over soon. if you behave, he might take pity on you.

joel comes forward and kneels on the ground in front of you, lifting your chin to meet his gaze. you can tell he feels sorry for you.

"good girl," he coos softly, "such a good girl. just take it," his free hand wipes the tears and the hair off your face. he tries to distract you while marcus' unrelenting assault never ceases to stop. his soothing voice does nothing to stop the horrifying feel of being completely held down, helpless and used like a rag while marcus keeps his promise to the very end.

after what feels like a long time, you slowly drift towards unconciousness. your lower half goes completely numb as your body accomodates to the pain and perceives it as normality. all you feel is an immense amount of warmth enveloping your asscheeks and an irritating, disgusting feeling of a slick liquid dripping slowly from your cunt and making their way down your legs. imprinting on the rough material of marcus' jeans.

your head is dizzy and you can barely form coherent thoughts inside your mind. joel's soothing words fade like background noise, and the awful smell of javier's cigarettes becomes your only source of oxygen. marcus hits, and slaps, and swats relentlessly until he's utterly pleased not only with his artwork, but the way you become soft and pliant underneath him.

you didn't even notice how he let go of your wrists so long ago. yet you still keep them in place as if he still holds them.

if you had eyes in the back of your head, you'd scream in agony at the sight of your ass. the colour of your skin is unknown, overshadowed entirely by a sea of red which marcus carefully crafted with the skill of his hand.

he isn't oblivious to the river pooling down your legs either. but you don't deserve to be satisfied yet. he isn't pleased with joel's weakness for you anyway, and the fact that you will be sleeping in his protective embrace tonight is enough of a reward for you. if it were marcus' choice, he would have you sleep on the wooden floor all night. no blanket, pillows, or even clothes to keep you warm.

when joel notices that his brother is finally done, he immediatelly sweeps you into his arms and carries you to his bedroom. he is careful in maneuvering you into the mattress, arranging you on your belly so that your ass is protected. he brings a small bottle of aloe vera gel from the bathroom; he collects a small amount on his fingers and warms the content in his hand before applying it featherly soft on the affected areas. you shift and sniffle in pain, and he comforts you as best as he can.

joel joins you in bed after he's done tending to your wounds. he notices the way you reach for him in your sleep and mumble inaudible words from your dreams. he hates how soft he is for you and how you have succeeded in affecting him so much in the short time you've been around and you don't even know it.

he dreams of a near future where you are happy and content in their presence. where you cook and tend to their every need while they take turns in worshipping your body and building your happiness.

he wants to spoil you so bad. hell, all of them do. but you have to earn it. you have to accept your new reality and the fact that they're never letting you go.

once you do, you'll be their queen. and they will do anything for you.

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maaaariii · 4 months ago

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'I carry.'

overview ig: you accidentally find hanmas gun oopsies.(kinda 18+ if u squint)

Hanmas lifestyle was never a complete mystery to you.

Gambling and combat fighting soon turned into money laundering, expensive cars and bougie meeting rooms. And while you know its not the best thing in the world- and certainly not the safest, you know him. So you choose to stay. Thats why its almost 2 am and youre sat at tipsy (probably drunk, possibly wasted-who knows how much he drank while you were in the bathroom) shuji's side on his fancy ass couch. Looking around the lavish drawing room youre in- its hard to believe it all belongs to him.Not in a mean way- Hes a messy guy, leaving his shit everywhere and stuff. He just didnt seem like the type of guy to want such materialistic things- just a bit of fun.

Anyways rant over, youre brought back to reality as he tugs on your wrist, bringing your attention onto him- just how he likes. 'cmere'

he grunts ,as he slides his hand behind your neck-not quite fervorous yet, but hes getting there fast at this rate. You chuckle at his dizzy state, pushing a long bleached strand of hair out of his face. 'slow down, if you move too fast youll faint or something y'know..' you joke- he doesnt let you tease him when hes sober. He grunts in annoyance.

'Faint?? girl i only took like 2 shots-' He cuts himself off, pulling you forward so fast that you have to steady yourself with your hands on his thighs so you don't topple over. He presses his lips to yours, quickly prying your mouth open with his tongue as his arm slides down to your back, right over your ass- holding you in place. After a few moments his breathing deepens and you pull away the tiniest bit, ghosting his lips and pulling back every time he gets closer. You cant help but chuckle as he continues his attempts for kisses like a thirsty dog.

'stop it...' he mutters, digging his fingers into your waist which only makes you squirm more. You chuckle and maintain about an inch distance between your lips and his. Staring into his golden eyes, hanma pants slightly- years of cigarettes seem to be catching up with him. Hes only 24. You hold his cheek in your palm, the rugged unmoisturised (ew) skin is warm and slightly clammy from the inevitable asian flush he gets from large amounts of alcohol. One peck onto his lips, followed by another as you slide your hand onto his shoulder

'cmon..do it like you mean it...' he mutters in annoyance. 'i do mean it you ass.'

He scowls at you half playfully.

'Dont feel like it....kiss me harder or you dont love me anymore.' He tries to hide the dumb smirk on his lips. 'im not feeling the love aura vibe thingy tonight babe-' he chortles and you can see the glint of pearly whites under the dim light. You roll your eyes, hanma always makes fun of your vocabulary- he says its so 'chronically online'. Whatever.

You shake your head in mock disappointment as you slowly slide your hand down his torso- despite his shirt you can feel the groove of his abs- a satisfying feeling. He hums, tired and gruff, just needing a good nights sleep and just cant get enough of how warm he is-every inch of his skin lower and lower until..your fingertips graze something solid?..

It takes you a moment to register…there’s no way his dick is this hard…and cold? He’s in his own world, head thrown back and eyes shut..it’s not like you both had boundaries, so you lift the shirt up a little and your chest tightens just a tiny bit. A pistol. Right in the waistband of his pants. It’s black and sleek, but simultaneously old looking. A world of violence and crime is something you were introduced to by your boyfriend, but he bubble wrapped you, putting his hands over your pretty eyes so they don’t tarnish. A gun wasn’t something you’ve ever saw in real life…you reach to grab it but his head jerks up and hand grabs yours fast as hell..his instincts are sharp.

“the fuck are you doin’? Huh?” He seems more offended than angry..

“nothing..don’t yell at me..” you pull your hand away..trying to gauge if you’re disturbed or curious about the weapon as you stare back at him, mirroring his offended face.

“I ain’t yellin’-“

He has a little voice crack at the end-he shuts his mouth to avoid any more..normally you’d both laugh at his little mistakes and trip ups..but there was a slight struggle in finding the humour right now..

“why do you have that..?”

“I’m grown..why can’t I? You ain’t my mom..”

“I know but..”

He shakes his head at you, leaning back to increase the distance between you both..why was he so mad? He’s not the type to get mad over nothing, you could probably accidentally hit him with your shiny car and he’d get up just to ruffle your hair.

“Why do you think? You ain’t stupid y/n.”*

suddenly you feel more sober and real. If there wasn’t a gun between you both you’d probably take that comment as a compliment..

“…”

“Don’t look at me like that…”

for once he breaks eye contact. You never really realised how..intimidating he looked when he didn’t have a shit eating grin on his face-probably because he always had one with you. And now the little voice in his head is scolding him because you’re upset with him.

“c’mon y/n don’t cry..I thought you’d just know. I have a gun so what..” he’s almost stammering, hoping you don’t burst into tears and ask for a birkin as an apology gift (true story, you have the bag in your closet)

“I ain’t gonna use it on you…” he’s rambling now.

“it’s just for safety ‘kay? It’s a big scary world out there-“

“I’m not crying…and stop talking to me like that..” your attention is suddenly diverted to his rather..condescending tone.

He wants to roll his eyes, But he lets out a breath he didn’t know he was holding.

“Just..don’t worry your pretty head okay?…’m tired let’s go to bed..”

🥲sorry guys I couldn’t be bothered to finish (I have no ideas)

#tokyo rev fluff #hanma shuji #tokyo revengers #shuji hanma #hanma tokyo revengers #hanma x reader #tr hanma #kisaki tetta #anime #hanma imagine #tokyo revengers kisaki #tokyo revengers x reader #tokyo #tokyo revengers smut #shuji hanma x reader

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zae-heeyyy · 1 year ago

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Recalcitrance

Summary: You and Ms. Grimshaw just can't get along. Pairing: Arthur Morgan x Female!Reader Word Count: 1,763 Tags: fluff, kissing, high honor Arthur Warnings: camp violence, angry Arthur, suggestive themes

a/n: I have mixed feelings about Grimshaw. I think she's a very enigmatic character. Still, based on interactions I've seen with her, I feel this isn't too far off. These always end up super long for some reason. Idk how that keeps happening. Anyway, I hope you enjoy; thanks for reading!

recalcitrance: resistance to authority or guidance, often characterized by defiance or disobedience. It implies a refusal to comply with rules or expectations, despite attempts to persuade or control.

You and Abigail Roberts went way, way back. Working girls stuck to a code; part of that code was looking out for each other and ensuring you returned after one of your "shifts." Abigail ran away for a while, leaving you to assume she'd met a rich man and settled down.

When you met her again, she introduced you to Dutch Van Der Linde and company; you fell in with them shortly after. Since then, you constantly scrubbed blood from clothes, slept on the ground, and ate whatever game Pearson could find for the stew. Many girls you knew would never trade that life for this one, but you had a family to return to, even if they weren't the most conventional. And amidst it all, you'd found something you didn't think possible for you.

You were drawn to Arthur Morgan instantly. The little things spoke volumes for you—how he checked on you in passing, the moments spent playing dominos together, and his overall politeness towards you. The bar was in hell, but he treated you so differently than any man ever had. Arthur's dumb cowboy act didn't fool you for a second, and you were captivated by him.

After one too many inadvertent shoulder grazes and incidental hand touches, the chemistry between you had become undeniable. Following a game of dominos he let you win, the stocky man asked you to take a walk with him. You weren't too far away from camp before you found yourself pressed against a tree by him in a heated kiss. So many thoughts swirled around your head. You were in the middle of nowhere; it was pitch black, and you were being hunted by the law, yet there against that tree was the safest you'd felt in a long time.

Then, on another fateful night, you were alone with him at the campfire while everybody else had settled down. A sly smirk crossed his face, and he scooted closer to you, grabbing and kissing your hand. You giggled, maintaining eye contact as he kissed up your arm, gradually, a low groan escaping him. One thing led to another, and he guided you into his tent. You let him have you, and you, him.

It was then, when you were on the brink of your climax, half-lidded eyes staring upward into his, that you finally understood what people meant by lovemaking. When it was all over, you got up to leave out of habit, but he drew you back into his arms and asked you to stay.

Since then, you've been his girl, and he made sure everybody knew, always kissing you before he left for a job, settling you into his lap at the poker table, or sneaking you away from your chores to spend time with him. You saw each other for what you were, not the labels that had been applied to you. And you loved him so much.

For the first time in a long time, your life was good. Well, mostly, except you hadn't quite mastered the life of navigating Ms. Grimshaw. Over the almost year you'd known her, she was rarely nice to you. She seemed more tame when Arthur was around, but he wasn't today.

By noon, you had gotten sick of hearing her voice, and she seemed more ornery than usual. The nagging was constant: do this, don't do that, do this faster, do this slower. You wished she'd shut the hell up and leave you alone. Just when you thought it couldn't get any worse, you saw her speed-walking towards you.

You were sitting, about to light a cigarette, when she approached, red-faced, huffing, and talking fast, "There you are," she started, putting a finger in your face. "Sitting around like always. I have had it with you!" You stood quickly out of instinct and opened your mouth to speak, but she cut you off. "You're useless around here, so why don't you go into town and start selling yourself again. At least then you'd finally be carrying your weight!"

Her words stung like branding, making your heart race and your eyes sting. The few people left at camp had gone quiet. Mary-Beth looked on nervously while Karen was glaring at the older woman. Your heart pounded in your ears, and you spoke faster than your brain could process.

"All you're good for is being an ugly, hateful bitch." As soon as the words left your mouth, she swung on you. It was a backhanded slap that stung and broke the barrier that was holding back your tears. You recoiled, holding your stinging face.

"Know your place, girl, before you end up somewhere worse than on your back. Now get!" She pointed towards the edge of camp.

"Screw you," you said, quickly wiping away a falling tear, "I'd rather fuck every man in town before I keep letting myself be treated like this." You stepped up to her, " Want me to leave? Well, I'm goin."

And you did. You collected what little belongings you had into a bag and charged out of camp, eyes forward and your head held high. Tilly and Mary-Beth tried to stop you, but you marched down the dirt path until they couldn't see you anymore.

"Look what you gone and did you old hag," Karen spat, "Oh, just wait til Mr. Morgan gets back. Bet you won't be so high and mighty then."

Arthur didn't ride in until sunset; he searched for you before even getting off his horse. His face fell confused by your absence, and just as he was about to inquire, Mary-Beth and Tilly approached. He knew instantly that something was wrong.

"What, what is it?" His eyes searched theirs. They looked at each other, silently debating who'd break the news to him. It was Tilly who stepped forward, putting a calming hand on Arthur's arm. She talked low and cautious, "Arthur, she—her and Ms. Grimshaw—they—" She was cut off by Karen and Ms. Grimshaw beelining towards them.

Karen's voice boomed, speech slurred. "Go ahead, tell 'em." She waved her beer-clutching hand between Arthur and Ms. Grimshaw, defiantly meeting Susan's gaze before tearing her eyes away to meet Arthur's. "That wench Grimshaw smacked her across the face and ran her out!"

Clenching his fist involuntarily, he leaned into Karen, talking low and steady. "The hell are you talking 'bout?" His chest was rising and falling quickly now.

Ms. Grimshaw stood resolute and waved him off. "This doesn't concern you, Mr. Morgan. This is my camp, and these are my girls and my rules," she finished, arms crossed, staring at Arthur.

Stepping close, he imposed his broad figure on Ms. Grimshaw, flashing a smile that was anything but inviting. He took on a tone he rarely used with the women.

"Oh, Susan, that's where me and you disagree. This may very well be your camp, and you can make up all the rules you want, but she's my girl." His face had straightened into a scowl by the time he finished.

"Well, I'll—" she began incredulously, hands still on her hips, but Arthur threw up a halting finger.

"Look, Ms. Grimshaw, I respect how you run this camp, but that girl, she's off limits. Now, I'm gonna find her and bring her back, and you can raise all the hell you want, but if you lay a finger on her again—"

"Arthur..." Tilly cut in warningly. He squeezed his eyes shut and turned away, ending his conversation with Susan. "Where'd she go?" he asked no one and everyone at the same time, speed walking to his horse.

"She took off down the road," Mary-Beth called out, but his horse was already kicking up dirt. Riding as fast as he could, he reached the nearest town at record speed. He hitched the horse outside the train station, forcing the doors open with his shoulder. The place went quiet, everybody focusing on the sudden disturbance. Arthur ignored the looks he was getting, scanning faces for yours. Spotting you took no time, and you stood as soon as you recognized him. He rushed to you, taking your hands in his; concern riddled his face— a rare sight. Guilt washed over you as you looked up into his eyes; you opened your mouth to speak, but he started before you.

"You alright?" he asked, looking you up and down. Dirt had stained the hem of your skirt, and your eyes were tired; his frown grew as he looked you over. You wrapped your arms around him, pressing your head to his chest and nodding.

"Wasn't gonna go, just needed to get away for a while," you murmured into his chest. Rubbing your back soothingly, he exhaled with soft, relieved laughter. One arm still around you, he gently tilted your head to meet his gaze with his free one.

"Don't you go walking out on us. Least without tellin' me first."

You agreed with a quick bob of your head, and he pulled your chin in towards his, kissing you on the mouth. He withdrew and gestured to the bench you'd risen from earlier; you both sat. Arthur wrapped a big arm around you, and you buried your face into his shoulder.

"That woman hates me," you grumbled with a pout. Arthur squeezed you closer, and a faint grin formed on his lips.

"Nah, she never liked any girl I brought around. Give her more time." He scratched his chin thoughtfully. "It's all outta love, I think," he concluded. You huffed at that, disbelieving.

"She got a funny way of showing it."

"Sure," he chuckled again. He sat for another minute before gently nudging you off his shoulder. Grabbing your bag and standing, he asked, "So you gonna come back with me?"

You tried to sulk but couldn't when he was standing there waiting patiently with his hand out. You finally relented.

"Fine, but I ain't just gonna take it next time," you declared, taking his hand. A big smile stretched across his face.

"You ain't gotta do nothing you don't wanna. If any of those fools have a problem with it, send 'em to me." You made your way out of the train station, hand in hand. You paused, gazing at him with a quirked eyebrow.

"I can handle myself just fine, Arthur Morgan." Another chuckle built up in him as he threw your bag on the horse. He turned to kiss the top of your head before grabbing you by the waist and lifting you up on the horse.

"I know, darlin'."

#red dead redemption 2 #rdr2 #arthur morgan #rdr2 arthur #rdr2 photography #rdr2 community #read dead redemption 2 photography #arthur morgan x female reader #arthur morgan fanfiction #arthur morgan x reader #arthur morgan fic #arthur morgan fluff #zaefic #amje

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starrycassi · 6 months ago

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VERY old and uncooked au I have where Viktor (and eventually jayce) end up working for Silco.

(Edited on December 17th, 2024. Added Sky to the plot, edited the way the heist happens, explained a bit more about The Herald, generally added some other details)

PART 1 - VIKTOR (childhood, adolescence, survival)

Singed actually takes the child in. Yeah I know Viktor technically HAS parents but we've never seen em in the show so I'm ignoring them

So Viktor now lives + works for singed. He gets over his morals real quick when faced with a fully equipped laboratory. He's a child, okay? He gets excited and is eventually groomed (I don't mean romantically, just like molded) by singed into agreeing + obeying all the things the older man tells him. Silco joins in on the part later and toys with his brain as best as he can

Singed uses him as a bargaining chip with Silco. An investment, if you will.

A bit of a "future promise" thing. Viktor actually agrees to this because he knows it's the best shot he's got. All the years living alongside Singed have made him into a more cynical/realistic person. He's 13 and already grumbles at "kids these days"

And Silco is an opportunistic man. He looks at this young, blooming genius and goes "yeah, why not? He is your problem, though. Have some money and make me a bomb"

Viktor also gets a pretty decent gun and shooting lessons. His aim is decent enough. He also hangs around sevika A LOT. He recognizes her as the strongest, safest individual if a fight breaks out and tells her ad much. She won't admit it but the praise feels good. She allows him to hover around and he helps her with small things like lighting hee cigarettes or refilling her flask. It's a symbiotic relationship where they both look at each other dead in the eye when someone is saying stupid shit.

So Viktor is like 15 and suddenly faced with even MORE power and recognition, even MORE fundings and accomodations.

This boy pours his life and time into making weapons. His dreams of being a scientist are slowly forgotten as both Singed and Silco effectively turn him into their perfect little genius.

They turn his desire to help against himself, telling him that the only way the under city will ever get better is if they go against piltover and win (which yeah I mean it kinda makes sense) and just general promises and such

Silco is genuinely surprised by how inventive the kid can be, and in return Viktor appreciates the man's offers and words for what it is: a trap he's wilfully walking in.

Silco does NOT feel any affection for the kid. At least not a lot more than he does for sevika or any other loyal worker. He is amused by his intelligence and somewhat entertained by his ideas. He seems Viktor as more of a small dog he's raising, expecting him to develop sharper and sharper fangs. He does care for Viktor in the "one of my youngest workers is more efficient and savvy than five of yours" way

Viktor doesn't feel any affection for Silco, either. He's a really down-to-earth kid, has lived in the fissures all his life and has been coached by singed into how to navigate the under city. He knows singed doesn't really trust the man and doesn't plan on doing so himself. He does love the opportunity he's given, but knows damn well that it's all done for a higher reason.

He does feel a connection with singed, though. It's mutual in a way. More of a mentor-mentee thing than any paternal/familiar relationship, but they're both satisfied with it. Singed respects Viktor and treats him as an equal, which also means he can a bit too harsh on what is essentially still a fragile teen.

They are protective of Viktor only in the way one is protective of their own gun

PART 2 - VIKTOR (last of his teen years, young adulthood, rage)

EVENTUALLY Viktor manages to worm his way into the academy (in the same way he did in canon) while hiding from Silco, Singed and Sevika, and is, instead, rejected. Heimerdinger is too weary of Viktor and his general attitude (for a good reason) and plans on having him interrogated. When he tries to get Viktor to walk alone into a room with him, Viktor panics and starts stuttering out explanations. He knows his position in the under city is conditional. Knows the leash that Silco has around him. The academy could be his safe haven and now he's losing it.

He's also fake-dating Sky while this goes on. Except she's fully convinced they're gonna get married and Viktor is a Homosexual™

Heimerdinger does his best to try and calm him down, however, every word he says makes the situation worse. He's so clearly out of touch, promising things that could never be done.

Viktor is under a lot of pressure and just starts spiraling. Everything the yordle says makes things worse and worse. The commotion calls the school guards attention and Viktor gets almost thrown in jail, all while heimerdinger tries to tell the guards to let him go. Viktor eventually manages to sneak out but fucks his leg up even more in the process.

Sky tries to help, they have a horrible fight and essentially roast each other until they're both kinda crying. Sky cries the most.

He returns "home" and, refusing to be taken back for such a thing, turns his sadness into bright, burning indignation. Silco might be an idiot, he realizes, but he's right about some things. He burns down the uniform after ripping it into shreds.

After all of this, he abandons any dream of ever getting out. Singed looks at him knowingly, tells him that sneaking around is a fine art he hasn't mastered yet, and leaves. Silco welcomes him back with a satisfied smile, and a "see, boy? I was right"

Silco isn't killing Viktor for his betrayal because he smells the heartbreak and KNOWS that this is the time to attack if he wants that boy to be on his side for the rest of his life. Sevika isn't even mad. Just kinda disappointed.

And it WORKS. Viktor is devastated and isolated, and Silco effectively positions himself as the only current logical option. Viktor knows that this is all a shit show but decides that there's nothing to lose by working for the biggest kingpin in the city

This is what begins his transformation as The Machine Herald, or "Herald" for short. His leg is Fucked Up and Singed goes "hey how about I do an unsupervised surgery on you" and Viktor just kinda goes "yeah well why not". He wakes up with more wires than veins in that leg but it hurts a lot less so. Can't win them all can we?

Years go by, Viktor becomes part of silco's inner gang, since Silco is finally sure that this boy has nowhere to run, no one to ask for help. He develops what could be seen as a friendship with sevika. They drink together every so often, trash-talking the rest of the henchmen in hushed whispers in between assignments. She tries to give him life advice in cryptic ways. He kinda gets it. Most of the time.

He makes up with sky and become Best Friends™. In a way. When they're not trying to get each other to come back to Zaun/Piltover

He keeps sky a secret from them all in fear of... Well, of whatever the fuck they could try and do to her if they got mad at him.

He's also a bit of a slut. I mean he's young, hot, kinda part of Zaun's elite, smart... yeah he's getting around. This part is important I swear. No it's not I just want Viktor to get it on. He's constantly sneaking pretty boys in and out of wherever he's staying at that week which is why no one really questions Jayce (see, it was important) the first few days he's in his house after The Trial (idk where the fuck sevika sleeps. Do silco's henchmen just sleep in his house??? Does he provide apartments?? I need to know)

People in the under city actually start talking to Viktor as he gets older, realizing that he's a bit less violent than the rest of silco's thugs and they have a 50/50 shot that he will actually help them in their pleas. This is always weird to him but he endures it for the sake of staying on top of what's being said in the city. And he's also generally a kind soul deep down

He buys from benzo frequently, and Benzo tolerates him because once, very slowly and in a hushes tone, he heard Viktor tell Ekko to never work for anyone with a shark aquarium.

Viktor is quite fond of Ekko. If Silco didn't basically own his soul, he would definitely take the kid in. Which is why he eventually becomes the biggest timebomb advocate.

PART THREE - MEETING JAYCE.

He's in Benzo's shop when he meets jayce.

He goes "yeah I could get him to suck me off probably" and tries to approach

And then jayce pays in GOLD and DOESN'T HAGGLE

And he realizes that this idiot is a piltie. He also realizes that whatever the fuck he just bought and the whole projects he's talking about could be useful for him and silco will not like it if a PILTIE out of everyone outsmarts him in weapon creation. He literally gets in between him and the door with absolutely no idea of what he's going to do (there is absolutely no way he's upping that payment sorry silco you are no match for the Kirammans)

There is no time and he defaults to "oh this is not my bedroom!" mode.

Cue him saying something like "I've never seen such a pretty face in this store. Are you from around here, darling?"

Ekko is gagging in the background.

They flirt yada yada I have the scene but it's too long to write here. U get the idea. I'd anyone wants to read that ask me but for now just use your imagination

Viktor offers Jayce to come back with him to his house for "protection" because "these streets are sooo cruel for foreigners" and Ekko hypes him up. "Oh Yeah Herald here is So Strong and Everyone Respects Him" which is technically not a lie. Jayce gets overwhelmed and accepts. As this is happening the kids are staging the heist but it has not happened yet. Don't ask me about timelines idgaf

They make out a bit, Jayce tells Viktor all about his theory (which is arguably hotter for Viktor) and shows him his notes (because obviously he carries his journal with him)

Viktor is BLOWN AWAY by this. He gets all worked up. Never felt this horny before. They discuss for a while, and Viktor decides that THIS is something he can stand behind. Actual discoveries, not just drawing blueprints after blueprint of the same fucking thing

Really how many ways can one design a weapon in

Anyways

Viktor sort of mildly drugs jayce and steals three of the shiny orbs and then wakes Jayce up and tells him that this was delightful and such.

PART FOUR - Hey Silco Can We Adopt This Boy. For Science

The heist happens the very same way. Viktor hears about it, about the trial, and decides that all these years of work should get him some privileges

He goes "If you're going to change the world, don't ask for permission" and just goes to save Jayce. Originally I had him argue with Silco and Singed to allow him to do this here but yk what? This man is too impulsive to do that. He's breaking his man OUT with two bribed bodyguards and Janna on his side. Sky is 100% on board because she kinda knows Jayce and he's really nice so she doesn't want them to banish him.

Viktor breaks jayce out do NOT ask me how #thepoweroflove and Sky's blessing or whatever. The henchmen get to punch enforcers so they're happy about it.

The "am I interrupting?" Scene happens. It's also too long so.

It takes Viktor a while to convince Jayce to, yk, betray his country and leave everything he's ever known behind, but Jayce was literally about to kill himself and Viktor is talking about change and help and people who actually need it (lies) and he looks so beautiful under the moonlight and he remembered him. So. Really what can one realistically do in this situation if not agree with the criminal who's trying to save you from exile.

They rush back to Zaun, Jayce leaves a hasty suicide note and says he will drown himself in the river and not to search for him (he leaves a slight clue for him being in Zaun as an alibi in case they eventually find him and want to blame Viktor for kidnapping. Which is such a hot and clever thing that Viktor almost kisses him right there), they break into heimerdinger's room via Sky giving them the keys, steal all the equipment they can carry (henchmen & co brought some bags okay??)

When Mel arrives they're gone. She calls for the guards to come but they're waaay out of her reach and Sky is there all beaten up and crying (she agreed to it)

There might be a motorcycle involved. Cyclists Viktor... Yeah. Hot.

When they arrive, he has his very first actual screaming-match kind of fight with Silco and Singed about keeping A Piltie in their territory, but they eventually and very reluctantly give in. Also Jinx is there. So Silco isn't really that preoccupied with who lives with Viktor and more with how to make this child stop wailing.

Silco knows that even a worm will turn. If Jayce does agree to work for them and stays loyal, then they get another good worker. If not, they can always kill him. He's never heard Viktor this adamant about someone before, and damn he's seen the boy walk around with some pretty faces. Maybe this Jayce fella truly is smart.

PART FIVE - JINX AND JAYCE

When Viktor shows up he finds out that silco has adopted a child. Also Sevika doesn't have an arm. Also Vander is dead. So is, presumably, that child with the bad haircut. So is Benzo. Which is a bummer. He liked the store.

Ekko is nowhere to be found. That's a bit sad. Really sad. He sheds a few tears.

Jayce hates everything that's going on around him buts this man is SUICIDAL, basically homeless, penniless and his one and only lifeline is Viktor. Even if he stayed in Piltover no one would've been able to help. He's just kinda going with the flow. Having him gives Viktor his backbone and morals back. Slowly. Very slowly.

Hextech develops WAY slower. Like they're working in a drug den in the middle of what is basically a hastily put together lab there's absolutely no way there's the same conditions. They're doing their best though.

Jayce Is actually really impressed by shimmer and how it can "help" people. He's gaslighting himself ATP and everyone else is enabling him. No Jayce you're just creating an army of drug addicted zombies what do you mean giving power to the people.

Also eventually Silco gives Viktor a laced brace that makes him mildly addicted to shimmer. Viktor is clever enough to realize what's going on but also experienced enough to know that refusal would be seen as an offense. He takes the brace on and off with his own prototypes. Sevika and him both know they're just digging themselves into a deeper hole. With time he just goes "yeah fuck it" and starts regularly using it on his wires for the better performance of his leg. Glorious evolution or something.

Silco actually tries to kill jayce once because he was getting too fucking annoying and self-righteous, but Jinx steps in. He reminds him of claggor (in a bizarre way). She claims that they're both her friends and she loves them and silco just seethes in silence because Why did he become a father.

They help raise her. Kinda. Not co-parenting. More like co-uncling. They're both horrible influences but they aren't worse than Silco's enablement so it's just a very fucked up raising strategies cocktail.

I wrote all of this so I could successfully say that they have a tea party with her.

THEY LOVE LIL JINX OKAAAY. Specially jayce. He takes all his emptiness and sadness and anger and tries to fill it with love for her and Viktor, the only two people he feels are kind of honest to him. He tries to befriend Sevika. Doesn't really work at first.

Also Jayce being jealous of the fact that Viktor got around, specially when he has the audacity to give powder boy's advice (sevika is a STONE TOP LESBIAN you can NOT tell me anything else) right in Jayce's face. Yeah. Miscommunication. Falling in love. Devotion and guilt. Feelings of owing. Hesitant kisses and never said words. YEEES. I know it's a bit tropey but I like it so. Yeah.

Also both Jayce and Vik have long hair. Jinx insisted they let it grow like hers. Jayce's actually reaches his shoulder plates/mid back while Viktor keeps it shoulder length, just long enough to tie it. I think. Still haven't decided since long hair Jayce is too hard to mentally picture but I know he would look GOOD

Yes this also means that Jayce and Vi meet even earlier. They take a look at each other as they both try to calm down jinx and Become Best Friends™

Caitlyn always has a heart attack because YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO BE DEAD. She, like Vi, goes "yeah silco is definitely keeping my sister/brother captive" and they're both like You Will Not Believe This.

Viktor doesn't join them in their adventures because he is Not jumping around the roofs. He uses a cane. Leave him alone jinx no he can't climb the stupid ass tower.

Jinx and Jayce become a sort of "ground control" thing. Jayce is BUFFED that man can stand his own in a fight. He's not as quick or flexible but he makes up for it in pure absolute brawn. They're not actually doing anything useful they're just entertaining Jinx every so often.

Idk guys this au is consuming my brain.

I have more ideas but this was way too long already

If u read this far u can actually ask for a small scene on the au or add an idea and I'll write it for u

#jayce talis #jayvik #jayce x viktor #arcane au #jayvik au #jinx arcane #arcane silco #silco and jinx #sevika arcane #Arcane #please don't flop #i wish my mind was this talkative in the middle of essays #DOES ANYONE SEE THE VISION #yes this is technically a corruption au ig #i have no idea how s2 would fit in here #i just want jayvik to be actual mad scientists yk. like yes I need to commit Several Crimes #I'm not in any way shape or form implying or saying that silco is a good person or wtv they're all war criminals in this au actually #shimmering progress au

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heathermason6060 · 9 months ago

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Daryl Dixon x f!Reader: Together Apart Ch.1

Warnings/Mentions: History of abuse, neglect, strong language, mentions of character death, alcohol and drug abuse, ptsd, shared trauma, reader is cold, angst, fluff, eventual smut

Summary: The little boy you patched up in the trailer park grows up, your paths finally aligning to bring you together. The man who was once only a rare source of comfort becomes your other half, only to pull back when you need him the most.

Notes: Based off of this post. Basically an angsty story detailing your relationship with Daryl and the group over the years, and when Daryl starts to grow distant from you.

Growing up was hard. Growing up without your loving father was even harder.

You accepted the cigarette pressed in front of your lips from his hand and took a deep pull, holding it in your lungs until you felt your heart finally slow from its painful pace. He took his hand away from your face and took an equally long drag.

“When's Merle getting out?” You asked as you absentmindedly scratched the dry blood off your fingernails, your nose still throbbing from your mother's fist.

“Next week.”

You were young then. God, way too young to be smoking cigarettes. Most kids your age stole them from their parents, bringing them into the eighth grade classrooms to sell or trade.

Merle did come back the next week, but not for long. He eventually abandoned the two of you for the military, something his younger brother was really torn up about. After Merle left, said younger brother spent a lot of nights on your back porch couch. Your mother didn't mind, in reality she didn't give a shit at all, normally too high to care, or going through withdrawals so bad she only wanted to beat on you and blame you for your father's disappearance.

You began to deeply miss Merle and the comfort he would bring, mostly in the form of alcohol or illegal substances. He'd always make you promise not to tell anyone, and you'd always say you weren't a fucking idiot. You were lucky you'd grown up on the same street as the Dixon brothers, it had inadvertently caused the older to view you as an estranged little sibling, sparing you from his foul advances.

The Dixon brothers eventually became a rare sight. You all were just too busy with your own bullshit. You had a little brother to look after, and you did your best to shield him from your mother's antics, but one day the teacher saw that big bruise on his back and CPS took him away. You really missed Merle then, because at least he had the decency to sell you drugs instead of asking to trade for sexual favors. That made a substance induced escape a lot harder, forcing you to go into the city to find a decent dealer.

You were sitting on your back porch crying with blood all over your face when you saw them again.

They were frantic, tearing into your driveway with their dad's truck, shouting at you to get your shit and get in. Your mother was too doped up to understand what was happening, slumped on your dirty living room sofa with a bloody straw still on her lap. Merle had tried to get her to get up and come, shouting about ‘goddamn dead people eating everyone’(using a less kind word than people), but in your post-beating rage you left without her, leaving her on your couch to succumb to either an overdose, or whatever the hell the Dixons were warning her about.

You begged Merle to go by the foster home to look for your brother. Begged, cried, and eventually screamed, and he screamed right back at you. Daryl barely managed to calm the two of you down with a hopeful explanation that the building that housed your brother was the safest place he could be. That didn't stop you from trying to steal their truck later that night though, which only ended up in another screaming match and a bloody spat with the undead.

“Turn left here. Left, here!”

“Well shit, give me more than a goddamn two second warning fucktard!” It was a wonder Merle hadn't lost his voice from the near constant shouting, at Daryl and you. This time it was the former, attempting at giving his brother directions to the safe zone in Atlanta, reading off a dirty crumpled map with text made for ants to read.

You rubbed between your eyebrows and continued looking out your window as Merle turned around in the middle of the road to take the left into the highway.

The sound of your name being called had you internally groaning. “Hey,” Merle snapped again, looking over at you in the passenger seat. “I said get my bag.”

You all but slung his plastic baggie into his lap. He took out a pill bottle with the label ripped off and fished out three pills, dropping them into his green pill grinder as he drove with his knees.

“Just let me drive, man.” Daryl complained after having to correct the wheel for the elder brother.

“Ay! Keep your stupid fucking hands off my wheel before you lose ‘em.”

Most of the drive was like that. And it was even worse when after seeing Atlanta fucking napalmed. You were all close to losing it, and thankfully right before your Mexican standoff ensued, you found a group.

You couldn't stand most of them. Most were too soft, too nice, too stupid or too weak. The strongest men were pieces of shit, and the men that weren't despicable were either weak or insane. Glenn didn't bother you too much, especially after you witnessed his weasel-like skills. He was like a roach, always surviving, even when a building fell on him.

The majority of your time was spent hunting.

The first day you went out with your recurve bow, which had once belonged to your father, Shane had questioned you.

“You know how to use that thing?” He asked as he watched you flip your raggedy leather quiver over your shoulder.

You bent down to tie your boots and nodded.

“You ever use one of those before?”

“Yes. You got a light?”

Shane took a second before fishing out a lighter from his back pocket, moving intentionally slow as if to show you he was your superior. You snatched the green bic from his hand and lit your cigarette, shoving it back out towards him.

“Dixons are already out hunting. Left this morning. Why don't you just stay here and help out? We could really use the hands. Women of the camp are sometimes more important-”

You walked off into the woods before he could continue.

It was satisfying bringing your doe back to camp, even though dragging the thing back was a cruel and grueling process. You asked T-Dog and Ed to help you string it up, making sure to be as noisy as you could, a thick middle finger to Shane. You drained and gutted the carcass, making sure to ask Shane with a smug smile what he wanted to do with the intestines.

“Take it away from camp.” He spoke with his fingers a lot, rough pointing in an aggressive manner. “That shits gonna draw those things near.”

“Makes good bait for fish.”

Andrea and her sister Amy backed you up, even though they cringed and grimaced taking their share down to the quarry.

Merle and Daryl had finally settled down after a while in camp. Merle wasn't seconds away from murder anymore, and Daryl found peace in his hunting. Eventually Glenn got you your own tent, which you were ecstatic about, no longer having to share one with the two men.

Merle called your name through a mouthful of stewed deer meat. “Sweetie, hand me a beer why don't ya.”

Lori looked up over her bowl. “Would it kill you to say please?”

You tossed the warm bottle to Merle, not acknowledging her attempt at sticking up for you. He didn't bother you, his insults or disrespect never did, growing up with someone like that sort of makes you blind to it, especially when you were used to so much worse from your mother.

“Would it kill you to suck my nuts?”

Shane stepped in and you groaned, rolling your eyes and taking your stew back to your tent.

After Daryl's mother passed you saw him more and more. You were about eleven when it happened, you remembered the house fire and the day they moved into the trailer closer to yours. Daryl was almost constantly covered in bruises then. Always a black eye, always a purple bicep, always dried blood under his nails. He didn't smoke with you much after that, his mother having died from a cigarette induced house fire. That was when Merle had left, but your memory of the timeline was foggy. It had been so long ago and so much was constantly happening that you might've misremembered a lot of it.

“Sleep good?” Your groggy voice caused Daryl to look up from his task of sharpening his knife.

“Nah. You?”

You yawned and sat next to him in front of the fire, stretching your sleepy limbs and taking a sip of his water. “Now that Merle's farting and snoring aren't waking me up every ten minutes, yes. Thought he would shit himself with how bad that tent stank.”

Daryl let out a knowing chuckle and tossed his whetstone in the open flap of his tent. He slipped his blade back in its holster on his belt before grabbing a crooked cigarette from his shirt pocket.

“Fuckin' hate this place.” He muttered around the filter as he cupped his hand around the flame of his lighter. He snapped his zippo shut and put it back in his jeans pocket. “Me and Merle been talkin’.”

“About what?” You began crunching on a handful of almonds you stole from Lori the night prior.

“These people, they're… they're fuckin’ idiots.” He sighed as he blew out a stream of smoke, waving his hand around for enunciation. He held it to your lips for you to take a drag, watching as you pulled in a lungful before he took it away. “We should just leave 'em. They probably want us gone anyway.”

You observed him, not responding, chewing on the inside of your cheek.

“Well? You comin’?”

“Course I am. But I don't think we should leave.”

“Why the hell not? You hear the shit they say about us?” He scoffed, his brows furrowed. “Inbred hicks with their ‘trailer trash whore’. Y’know, they think we all fuck each other when we go off huntin’. Good for nothin' bastards. Should just rob ‘em and leave.”

“I don't give a shit what they think. I give a shit about my odds of survival, which are higher with guns.”

“We got guns. N’we can jus’ take theirs.” He argued, referencing the duffle bag of stolen guns in the hidden compartment of their truck. “Besides, chances are we're safer on our own than these dumb shits, catching frogs with the kids in the damn quarry.”

“Hey, I'll come if you leave. I couldn't care less about these people. But they keep that RV locked up real tight. It's gonna be a bitch to get into, especially with the rifleman wannabe on top and his gun slingin’ daughter, or whoever the fuck she is to him. Shane's already watching us too much. Let's just wait a while till he stops following me around like I'm some sort of violent nutcase.”

You had unknowingly sealed the fate of many lives with your argument.

“Gonna go in the city.” Merle said as he slung his rifle over his shoulder, jumping out of his truck bed, careful to not knock over his bike in the process. “Y'all need anything? Tampons?”

“No.”

“Was askin’ Darlene.”

“Shut the hell up man.” Daryl grumbled and finished preparing his crossbow for his hunt. “An’ no, don't need a damn thing.”

“Get some SlimJims.” Your favorite low cost snack. Growing up in a trailer park gave you a superior taste in snacks, SlimJims and Funyuns being your favorite.

“Why you want that when I got all the meat sticks you need sugar?” Merle laughed crudely, nearly bumping you over with a sloppy kiss goodbye to your cheek. You smirked and playfully pushed him off, watching as he left with the rest of the supply group.

“C'mon. Let's go before all the damn squirrels get eaten.” Daryl put his crossbow on his back and you picked up your weapons before following him off into the woods.

You had good luck that day. Daryl had a rope full of squirrels and you were tracking down a deer he'd sunk a few arrows into.

“Not gonna need SlimJims no more.” Daryl breathed as the two of you crept silently through the woods, following the trail of bubbly blood.

“As much as I love your roasted squirrel, it just doesn't have the same kick to it.”

“Never heard you complainin’.”

“Yeah, it's ‘cause I'm not a bitch.”

“You? Not a bitch?”

“Only to people who deserve a good bitchin’.”

“Seems like everyone these days needs a little of that.”

“Hah, yeah. We better get that deer before the dead do, Merle's gonna be hungry as fuck when he gets back.”

You didn't react when Rick Grimes told you he'd cuffed Merle to a roof. You didn't react when it was revealed T-Dog, one of the only people you liked in Shanes group, had dropped the key and left him up there. He'd profusely apologized and you just stared at him, doing everything in your power not to punch him in the throat.

You did react when you saw Merle's hand on that roof, his body nowhere to be seen. You cursed and shoved Rick so hard he hit the metal side of the fire escape with a bang, and Daryl, eager to jump in, ran to your side with blazing eyes. If it wasn't for the other people there and the guns they held, you would've killed him that day. Mauled him like the animal you were and left him there just as he did Merle.

In the absence of his brother, you found Daryl had seemed to subliminally put you in his place, a figure to follow and learn from. Not that you had too much to teach him, but knowing you were the eldest sibling in your family had you fitting into place with him perfectly.

You guessed you could call Daryl your friend now. You never had many friends, only in elementary school, sticking to yourself most of the time. The kid going to school smelling like cigarettes with the same clothes they wore the day before was never a popular choice for companionship. You never minded it though. The abuse you suffered at the hands of your mother had turned you into a cold and calloused human. Daryl was simply an object of mutual benefit for you back then, a source of company, cigarettes, alcohol. Whatever he could get his hands on. And he was easier to relate to than Merle, who had a good ten years on you.

But now, he was the only person you had left. Your mother was gone, your precious baby brother God knows where, and your male mentor was still missing, out there with one hand, his state of existence unknown to you. He was most likely dead. Shane's group had quickly become “Rick's group”, and you still held no fondness for any of them. Andrea had formed an odd one sided relationship with you, she craved your status. The group saw you as on level with the men, you never needed gun training like the rest of them, you got to keep your own gun, and no one ever tried to prevent you from doing something you wanted to do.

It was clear though, none of them really liked you all that much. They treated you like more of an outsider than they had Merle. You couldn't blame them, you wouldn't like someone like you. You were a mean and cold bitch, always keeping to yourself and only viewing them as a transactional business. They provided safety in numbers and you provided fresh kill and a gun.

One of the only times you behaved like a friendly human being was when you arrived at the CDC. It was hard to recognize you after you showered and cleaned up, washed your clothes and didn't smell like cigarettes or blood anymore. While your clothes were washing you had to borrow some from the former employees, a deep purple sweater and black slacks that somehow fit you perfectly. You caught Shane watching you walk down the hall, and you quickly responded with a snotty face of disgust.

A stomach full of hot seasoned food and wine loosened you up a bit. You sat next to Daryl and smiled, even laughed a few times, much to the shock of the others.

“C'mon, one more glass.” Daryl grinned as he filled your cup with more wine before you could object. “Don't be a baby.”

“Sure thing Darlene.” You snorted as you took a sip, earning an eye roll and a scoff from Daryl.

“Yeah, keep it up.” He feigned aggression as he downed his third glass. “Won't be so funny when you got teeth in your throat.”

“Not before I lose my boot up your ass.”

The banter was refreshing. The trip out of the quarry had been exhausting. It felt like you were admitting to failure when you were forced to give up your search for Merle, and oftentimes you debated on stealing his bike out of the back of your truck and going back to find him. But there was always something stopping you, every single time.

Sleeping on an actual mattress felt amazing. You'd offered to take the couch as a joke, and when Daryl made his way to the bed you dove into the sheets before he could plop down on it.

“You really are a goddamn bitch.” He slurred and slung his bag at the foot of the couch, falling back dramatically.

“Drink some water before you get a hangover.” You tossed him a fresh bottle from the room fridge, and he begrudgingly downed it. You turned the light off and climbed into bed, groaning at the feeling of the soft and dry mattress.

“You think Merle’s alive?”

You blinked, opening your eyes and looking towards the couch. It was dark, you'd assumed he'd been asleep by then, there had been several long minutes of silence.

“Yeah. I know he is.” You were surprised by his question. Daryl had always been the one reassuring you of Merle's status, claiming he was impossible to kill, and that he could feel in his bones that his brother was alive. It also made you a bit uncomfortable, you'd never comforted anyone before that wasn't your little brother. Let alone Daryl. The most you'd done for him was offer him sanctuary on your porch and cleaned his wounds if they were bad.

“Go to sleep Daryl.”

@ophelialaufey @carlgrimesgfofficial @theskinniestjackson-denny @dilfish-daydreams (wasn't sure if you guys wanted to be tagged since its eventual smut but here u go)

@hopefulrascalstatesmantoad @10hrs26mn @adribarbie (those who asked to be tagged if someone wrote this in the original post)

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inmyheaddd · 5 months ago

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walkin out the door with your bags - grayson hawthorne x reader - part 9

⤷ ''i don't wanna be forward, i don't wanna cut corners // savor this with everything i have inside of me''

a/n: this took the longest ever to write omg!! im so sorry for the wait but i hope you enjoy ❥❥ also, hot by cigarettes after sex is literally their song i might sob 😭 summary: someone gives grayson a piece of advice, and grayson spends hours trying to decipher and make sense of it, just to find out the right answer was infront of him. series masterlist — other parts

flashback, 16 years old..

''this is highly dangerous, you know.'' grayson's voice was steady as he called out. he climbed right behind you anyway.

you were climbing up to the rooftop of your house on a very tall ladder. perhaps it wasn't the safest thing, but your parents had blocked all the staircases that led to the rooftop to stop you from going up there. you found ways around it, and they hadn't noticed the ladder yet.

''okay,'' you laughed, seeing your breath in the cold air. you looked back briefly to see his gaze trained on his feet below him as you both continued going up the ladder. ''i don't really care.''

''you should.'' he mumbled back, hint of sass in his voice. you weren't sure if he wanted you to hear that or not.

''please, you care enough for the both of us,'' you replied anyways, because you remembered everything about grayson was intentional. he was capable of being very silent when he wanted to.

two more steps, and you finally reached the top of the ladder and climbing onto the rooftop. you didn't struggle much, you came here every time the sky looked pretty, and in winter, that was pretty much every night. you exhaled as you sat, ''it evens things out.''

graysons eyebrows flashed up in agreement for a moment, not arguing on that.

he reached the top and climbed over with no struggle. he sat a few inches away from you, your gaze still trained on the sky ahead. you looked behind you, taking in the the whole sunset with its shades of bruised purple and little streaks of orange.

you pulled out a small thermos from your hoodies pocket.

well, it wasnt really a small thermos, it was... more of a larger flask that you had stole from your parents room because you needed something to keep your drink warm.

but what could you say? desperate times called for desperate measures.

grayson glanced at you, then away, then immediately did a double take again and eyed the object in your hand.

his expression reminded you of a teacher: a stern, disappointed, and confused expression all together. his nose crinkled slightly, and you almost laughed out loud.

''grayson,'' you laughed, ''it's hot chocolate... i couldn't find my thermos, relax.'' you understood where he was coming from, i mean, it was a flask, but you weren't a drinker.

he didn’t say anything, but his expression said it all. he stayed looking at you conspicuously and furrowed his brows slightly.

you laughed in disbelief, ''what? you want it?" you teased. when he simply looked at you with a disapproving brow raise, you gasped.

''grayson!" you brought a hand to your chest, ''you seriously think that low of me?" you laughed and leaned closer, waving the thermos dramatically in his face. “look! see? it’s hot chocolate!”

he leaned back, avoiding the container, his lips twitching like he was fighting off a smile.

“no, no,” you teased, moving the thermos side to side in his face as he tilted his head away. “you’re going to see for yourself.”

“stop,” he muttered, his voice still calm but laced with humor.

“look!” you insisted, waving it closer.

finally, he reached out, his hand carefully covering yours to still your movements. “alright,” he said, twinges of laughter in his voice. “i understand. it’s hot chocolate.”

his hand lingered for a second longer, and your eyecontact remained, before graysons eyes flickers across your face and his hand went back to its side.

''its a tuesday evening. and i'm on a rooftop.'' you sighed as you took a sip of your hot chocolate just to prove it even further, ''i'm not that reckless.''

you screwed the lid back on and put it back in your pocket, then you covered your hands with your sleeves in an attempt to fight off the cold.

''you think you're reckless? you should see my brother.'' grayson muttered, half to himself and half to you, but there was a softness in his voice.

you set your hand back down, and only then realised just how close it was to graysons. your fingertips were a hairbreadth away.

you felt like you physically couldn't pull your hand away, and even if you did could move, it would just make things awkward.

you remembered you had to respond to grayson's statement somehow. ''jameson practically invented dangerousness and recklessness and bad decisions. he doesn't count.'' you shot back jokingly as you looked at grayson.

he huffed a chuckle, looking at his lap and shaking his head slightly. surely he must've felt your hand right next to his.

your fingers twitched slightly. you could feel the tiny movements coming from his own hand- whatever you were thinking right now, he was clearly thinking the same thing.

you were acutely aware of the closeness of his hand to yours. your gaze stayed straight ahead. you didn't dare look at your hands.

your fingers inched a little closer to his. you heard your heartbeat in your chest.

the cold didn't seem like a problem any more, and you felt his callused fingertips run over the back of your hand. then your pinky interlocked with his.

it was a simple action, but it was near impossible to ignore the way it fuelled the part of your brain that screamed 'you like grayson!'

you stared down at your intertwined hands, you knew grayson did too, but neither of you said anything. he swallowed thickly and simply brought up a story of his brothers being 'truly reckless,' and how you seem like the furthest thing from it.

soon enough, the minutes turned to hours, and you discussed everything with grayson.

from the way school had been, plans you had for the winter, if you wanted to come to true north with him and his brothers for a few days (you said yes), stories he had from true north, and sharing horror stories of ski trips.

the conversation naturally began to lull. not in a bad way, but in a comforting way. you scooted a little closer to grayson with your hands still intertwined.

you looked up at the glittering sky, ''you know, i feel really bad for you right know.

''why?'' grayson looked at you,

''because you're not wearing your glasses, and you can't see the moon tonight.'' you responded simply, glancing at him for a second before looking back at the sky. ''it's really pretty.''

grayson took his gaze to the sky, and you were right, he couldn't really see it. he could just about see the shape of it, but that was it.

he took his gaze back to you, watching you admire the moon. ''i'm sure it is.''

you hummed a little in agreement, dangling your feet back and forth over the edge. a gush of freezing cold wind suddenly rushed past the two of you, and the way you physically shuddered made you both laugh.

''god,'' you chuckled, ''i should've worn a coat or something. i didn't know it would be so cold.''

grayson nodded, '''we are quite high up, naturally, its going to be colder up here,'' he gestured to the ground below. everything looked so small from all the way up here. that was partly why you loved it.

you had a hoodie on, but grayson held his arm open anyway and invited you in. you felt 10x warmer when he enveloped you into a side hug, but surely that was because of the cashmere sweater he wore, and not him.

''grayson?'' you hummed, your head on his shoulder.

''yes?''

''you know, um thanks for always being here,'' you muttered, feeling his fingers trace patterns on your arm , ''even when i'm irrational and i'm messy and I annoy you.''

he was silent for a moment, and you were tempted to look up so you could get a read on his face. ''you could never annoy me.''

you could practically feel his voices' vibrations, and his tone was soft. different from the way he usually talks with others- stern, assertive. but he wasn't that way with you.

''but i'm irrational and messy.'' you insisted.

his hand began to slowly run up and down your arm, soothing your nervous system in a way that all the deep breaths in the world never could. ''those aren't bad things.'' he told you. ''not when its you, at least.''

you stared at his hand interlinked with yours. not when its me? what does that mean? you thought.

you opened your mouth, just about to respond when— slam.

you and grayson jolted out of each others touch. your heart was beating crazily fast.

''holy shit,'' you put a hand on your chest, catching your breath as you and grayson caught eachothers gaze and laughed out of relief.

you quickly realised you had missed being in his arms, but you just couldn't return to a moment like that. a part of you wonders if it even happened, it felt so fleeting.

you nervously laughed, tucking your hair behind your ears before you carefully peered down over the edge to where you heard the noise.

you didn't feel any better or less frightened, though. the scene below you was your mom storming out the car, dressed like she had just gotten back from an event. you quite couldn't make out her words, and her pace was as fast as ever. even from afar, her posture looked rigid and her neck looked strained, like she was holding back tears or screams.

your dad got out of the car right after, slamming his side of the door too and shaking his head to himself as he tried to catch up to your mom. his hands were out like he was pleading or reasoning, and his expression was something dark that you didn't like.

grayson followed your gaze, seeing the scene you were looking at. he hadn't realised he was smiling a little until he felt his face drop.

grayson looked back at you, but it was hard to tear your gaze away from the scene, even when this scene was something you saw quite frequently. you tried to hone into your eavesdropping skills to hear what they were arguing about this time, but you were simply too far.

you name fell from his lips, and he repeated it twice when you didn’t answer. then finally asked, “are you alright?”

you didn't look straight at him, but he saw your expression. and he saw the way your fingers curled into a fist. you chewed on your bottom lip and blinked rapidly, then untucked your hair from behind your ears so it shielded your face.

he felt his heart drop. he had never seen you cry before.

you always acted as if nothing bothered you, and when it was obvious that something did, you hid it.

for a terrible moment, he worried that he wouldn't know what to do, that he'd somehow make things worse, but he simply let his actions come naturally.

he silently wished that this would be the last time he’d see you cry, he wished he could keep you happy forever.

you seemed to finally realise he was still looking at you, and you sat up straight.

''sorry— i’m sorry.'' you mumbled as you quickly wiped at your eyes with the back of your hands. ''oh my god,'' you let out a chuckle, like it would make him forget the tears. ''that was so embarrassing, i'm literally fine. i don't know what that was.''

grayson watched you try and regain a sense of normalcy, ''its not embarrassing to feel,'' he told you.

he knew that was highly hypocritical of him to say that, considering the way he acted, but he would truly sit with you for hours listening to you talk about your feelings. for days, until the end of time, even.

he'd always be there for you, and he wished you would believe him when he said it. ''would you,” he trailed off, gaze flickering between your features, “would you like to talk about it?”

he knew the answer was likely going to be no, because he knew you, but he wanted to let you know that he’d be there for you always, if you suddenly decided you did want to talk.

you were silent for a moment, and every second of it, with every shuddering breath you took, he felt a stronger urge to be the one who wiped your tears, the one who held you. he watched you tentatively, concern written all over his face.

he recently felt like his feelings were blurring over the lines of them being simply friendly.

“actually,'' you sniffled a little, ''can we not talk about it?” you said, just like he had suspected.

you felt him nod, and said no more after that. he wouldn't push you. he knew when it was right to be persistent, and when to simply stay silent.

you took a deep breath. ''i'm feeling even more messy and irrational right now,'' you tried to lighten the mood with another laugh, but it just sounded sad. ''i don't know why i got like that, i mean, its not even that bad, compared to others.''

graysons brows knitted together. ''it doesn't matter what its like compared to others.'' he told you, his voice steady while yours wavered.

you finally raised your head from his shoulder ever so slowly and looked at him. your expression was unfamiliar. it was pained.

his gaze flickered between your eyes. he found himself speaking once again.

''i don't care about the others, i care about you.'' he squeezed your hand slightly, ''you should care about you, too.''

present...

grayson was oddly exhausted. he doubted that has anything to do with the fact that he had slept at 2 in the morning, though. the first thing he did was take a cold shower, but even that didn't help.

he didn't like to have caffeine so early on an empty stomach, but it seemed like he had no choice.

''good morning.'' he nodded curtly at gigi who was leaning on the counter, making his way to the coffee machine.

she was looking at him strangely, but that wasn't a rare occurrence, so he paid it no mind. grayson took a mug out of the cabinet, then he heard gigi clear her throat from behind him. he raised a brow to himself, still looking down at his cup.

then he finally realised- gigi was in his house.

he turned around swiftly, cup still in his hand as his eyes glazed over gigi suspiciously.

''you're in my house.'' he pointed out blankly, and gigi rolled her eyes.

''why are you in my house?'' grayson ordered. now, he was definitely shaken out of his previous stupor.

''you know, you're a real idiot, grayson.'' that was not a good morning, or an answer to his question.

''excuse me?'' he put his cup down on the counter he was standing behind. he was confused why gigi was in his kitchen to begin with, much less calling him an idiot at the ripe hour of 6 in the morning as he tried to make his black coffee.

''listen,'' gigi put on a stern face and hopped on the counter, but it was difficult to take her seriously with her bed head and ever so slightly puffy face, clearly having just woken up. how could grayson possibly not hear her come in?

''im gonna cut straight to the point.'' she started, and Grayson was glad she said that, because he was not in the mood for anything else but an explanation. ''I'm here because you did something. ever since about 3 days ago when you visited she’s been acting all weird. she won’t tell me what’s wrong, but i know something’s up with her. and i know it has something to do with you.'

she didn’t even have to say your name, there was only one her when it came to grayson. ever since that day where you came up to him so many years ago, asking him why he sat alone. there was always one her. you.

a heavy weight settled over his chest. “what makes you think i visited?” he forced himself out of his thoughts and asked, not confirming he did visit you, but not fully denying it either.

gigi rolled her eyes like it was obvious before she stole a grape from the fruit basket on the counter she sat on top of. “she won't tell me anything, did her whole control freak routine. i woke up the next morning with the whole living room redone, her room layout completely changed, and every surface literally polished and sparkling. she doesn’t just do that for no reason. for anyone.”

gigi tried to sound unbothered about the topic when she spoke, but the way she fiddled with her hands gave it away to grayson. it was obvious though, no one would like to talk about how their best friend was hurting. just as much as no one would like to hear about it, and know they caused it.

could he even call you his best friend anymore? he had never said it outright to you, but he suddenly wished he had told you how much he appreciated you every second he had the chance.

“you must've messed up bad, gray.”

grayson averted his gaze. suddenly the fruits looked extremely interesting.

he couldn’t take back the horrible actions he made, the ways he tried to cope, the way he tried to silence his fears. they were done, they were his fault. that didn’t stop him from regretting them every single moment of his days. but even then, he still somehow seemed to be making the wrong choices.

“I suppose you wouldn't be able to give me any advice on what to do?'' he asked rhetorically, his voice carrying too much emotion than he would like. he sat up straight in his chair and cleared his throat.

grayson never asked for advice. he never asked for help. he did everything alone.

and look where that got him.

“hey, i'd give advice to you any time you need it!,'' gigi said half jokingly, tucked her hair behind both of her ears, her voice carried a weight that revealed that she could tell just how grayson was feeling.

''listen, i’d like to be super cool and mysterious, and give you some vague advice like ‘do whatever your heart tells you,’ or, ‘the right choices will find you,’'' gigi said, putting on a deep voice and making quotation marks with her fingers. ''but you somehow manage to always make the worst decisions ever. without fail.” her voice was back to normal, raising her eyebrows and pointing at him.

even he knew she was right.

“you’ve messed up way too much, and i don’t want you hurting my best friend any further, so i’ll give you this:” gigi continued, and grayson realized she wasn’t doing this for him, she was doing it for you. then, another thought that he been trying to avoid came up again: he hurt you much more than he had realised.

“talk to her. and stay. you know her better than anyone, why on gods green earth would you believe that when she said she’s ‘fine’ or that ‘she doesn’t care’ that she was seriously saying the truth?” gigis expression turned sour as she furrowed her brows, like the topic annoyed her to even speak about.

believe me, grayson thought, however aggravated you are about this, i’m infinitely more aggravated with myself.

“you’re annoyingly persistent sometimes, so make some good use out of it.” gigi said, “i’m not going to tell you the things she’s told me exactly, but, you must’ve been a real idiot to just stand there and nod when she tells you that a kiss you shared was a mistake.”

grayson wasn’t surprised gigi knew all of that. grayson figured that was all he would get from gigi, but he selfishly found himself wanting to know more about how you were feeling. he was grasping for anything. you had both seemingly cleared up the air, decided you were 'friends' again and nothing more, but you hadn't even talked since.

usually, in a time back when things were as perfect as they could’ve been, you would’ve been telling him first hand. now, he had to find out about how you felt because of him by his half sister.

it would never go back to the way it was. grayson could only hope to make it better than before.

he was no stranger to saying something, and meaning, truly longing for something completely different, so he didn't blame you for not

he wonders what he did wrong this time.

the girl, ella.

he was told it would be a good pr move on his end. he hadn’t been seen in the media for a while— which was how he liked it— but his team argued it would be good for him to resurface before the additions to the charities, to get more press.

he would’ve simply said no. it would've been final, and his team wouldve never brought tbut the girl, ella, was what ended up convincing him. she was trying to hide her relationship with a co star of hers, another girl grayson couldn’t quite remember the name of.

all he remembered was being told ella was being bombarded with rumors, and she needed to out a stop to them before the second season of her show premiered. she was severely distressed—it was her first show, and she herself hadn't even come out to the public yet.

so he agreed. it went on for 2 weeks until there was enough social media posts and tabloids posted of them two.

he thought about the way your voice wavered when he went over to talk, the way you eyed him silently, the way your body language contradicted your words. you were silently angry at him, but you stayed friendly. he didn't have to solve anything to figure that one out.

he could always understand you even when you didn't have the right words to say it yourself, or when you simply didn't want to. a picture played in his mind— one of him nodding his head with an arm around your shoulders, offering comfort silently when you mumbled ''actually, can we not talk about it?" into his chest quietly. he remembered how his heart ached.

you had both mastered the language that had been created and growing between you since the day you met. now, he still knew it, but he had nowhere to even put it to use. he doubts he could ever truly forget it, though.

grayson realised too late how horrible of an image the ella debacle must've painted in your eyes. it was possibly the worst choice he had ever made. right after the days he went not speaking to you, and the times he didn't stay.

he hated himself for the decisions he made, and gigi should've hated him too.

''why are you here, telling me this?'' grayson finally said. he was aware that his eyes were instinctively narrowed suspiciously, but he couldn't help it. gigi looked at him sympathetically.

''because, unfortunately, you guys are too stubborn and stupid to see what's clearly right infront of you.'' she said simply with a dramatic sigh. ''and you need me— the super-smart-all-seeing-gigi, to help the process along a little. and, despite the way you've been acting, you're my brother,'' her voice softened, ''and i don't like seeing you sad.''

he didn't even deny he was sad. there was no point. he contemplated asking more, brows furrowed as he looked at the counter infront of him, hands gripping the edges tightly. but he stayed silent instead, replaying gigi's words and trying to make more sense of them.

''...well, if that's all,'' she said, breaking the silence. ''i've got to go, i have a flight to catch.'' that explained why she was awake at 6 in the morning.

''where are you going?'' his grey eyes narrowed once again, this time, he was acutely aware of it.

''none of your business.'' she taunted, slipping right back into their sibling banter. ''well, actually—'' a smile stretched across her face despite her efforts, ''its noah, i don't know if you even remember him, but, he's taking me on a trip.'' she blurted, clearly too happy about that fact to remember that she was supposed to be holding a grudge against grayson. ''but— not that its any of your business, of course.''

grayson nodded. a part of him was hurt that gigi doubted he'd remember someone significant to her, but his mind went to a different place before he could dwell on that fact any longer.

he remembered one of the conversations he had with you, on the night you kissed.

''we know eachother. i trust you more than most.'' he once told you, remembering the way your eyes looked into his and the way they glinted when he finished his sentence. he remembered wanting to smile at that.

''yeah, and gigi knows noah. you should be able to trust her with her choices.''

“is she truly happy?”

“yeah, gray, she really is happy.”

he cleared his throat and brought himself back to the present moment. he wouldn't focus on the past right infront of someone, he couldn't, it simply hurt too much. ''right.'' he said coldly, ''of course. have a safe flight, gigi.''

she smiled awkwardly and got up from the counter. she took an apple with her, and gave him one last look, one that made graysons heart twist.

''why did you have to ruin this?'' her eyes seemed to say. ''you're my brother. she's my best friend. why are you making me choose?"

grayson wished he had a response. instead, he just watched her walk off with his brows knitted slightly.

he exhaled a long breath once gigi left, his elbows on the counter as his head fell into his hands. he raked both hands through his hair, roughly, not like the way you would. he shook before he abruptly stood up.

so many feelings, yet he couldn't articulate a single one properly.

there was one that seemed clearer than the rest. he hated himself--for ruining things for and hurting you when all he wanted was to protect you.

he let out a low, bitter laugh to himself.

some protector he was.

he did the one thing he always did when he needed to think clearer, to have control over something when all else seemed to be wrong and disorderly.

he made his way outside, grabbed a towel, and went for the pool.

the water was icy against his skin, but he welcomed it. he pushed off the edge and began swimming laps, each stroke more forceful than the last.

the tension in his chest didn’t lessen—it grew, tightening with every thought of you.

he swam faster, rougher, but not deviating on his strict rigid form. he couldn't. 'you need to talk to her. and stay,' gigis words played out in his head.

should he reach out again? what if you get annoyed? what if you're sick of him?

he knew you must've been somewhat sad, judging by the fact that gigi came to him, but what if you were more angry? what if gigi read it wrong, and you really wanted nothing to do with him?

the only reason he doubted the last one was because gigi knew you better than anyone. she couldn't have read whatever you were feeling wrong. whatever she saw, she felt the resolution was for you two to fully see it out to the end. to 'talk and stay' with each other.

'you're grayson davenport hawthorne, you don't worry about what ifs.' he reminded himself. what would his grandfather say? much worse, he had no doubt.

besides, you were his best friend. doing something would be better than doing nothing and let the friendship and possibility of more slowly fade, then disappear.

he swam and swam, and ran through all the possible outcomes in his mind. he did this until his arms burned and his lungs begged for air. it still wasn’t enough, though.

grayson pushed through the pain, through the ache in his muscles, until he couldn’t anymore. gasping for breath, he finally stopped and hung onto the edge of the pool, his head tilted forward as water dripped down his face.

his chest was heaving, and the pain he had felt was finally all crashing down. it was easier to ignore when he was moving. he clenched his jaw with his grip on the pool’s edge tightening. he didn't feel any better. he didn't feel like he had any more control over his life.

he was an idiot. an idiot who was still drowning, even now, on dry land.

he pushed himself up and out of the pool, his brows furrowed frustradely and muscles taught as he dried off.

he wouldn't let himself mope around any longer.

his hair was still slightly wet as he sat at his office desk. he had taken another shower, this time, it was steaming hot.

his eyes kept flickering to his phone as he worked on his laptop. he found himself wanting to reach out and call you.

no, he needed to plan it better. he couldn't just expect you to answer and for you to listen to him.

but- wasn't how the problems arose in the first place? waiting for the perfect moment that never came?

it was that way years ago, it was that way a few weeks ago, and it seemed like it was about to be that way again.

he closed his eyes for a brief moment. focus. then he got back to work.

still, despite his efforts, he couldn't focus. his mind was in an entirely different place. he read over an email before he pressed send.

how did he manage to mistype no as know?

he stared at the powered off phone laying on his desk once again.

the last time he had texted you, every single one of his brothers had pushed him to.

now, he was utterly alone in his office. his brothers were all out of the house, and his black out curtains kept his room dark, except for the low orange lamps you had forced him to put in there 'to make it look less robotic'.

his eyes flickered to his phone one more time, and he finally retracted his hand from his laptops keyboard.

he turned on his phone, and from then on it was muscle memory, the one thing he would do whenever he was feeling lost. whenever he needed clarity in his peculiar life of his.

he called you.

the phone rang, his thumb hesitated over the red cancel button, but he couldn't. he'd look like even more of a coward.

he was still unblocked, and despite not speaking to each other for so long, you picked up.

''hello?''

his heart beat faster than it did when he swam. ''hey, its grayson.''

you were silent for a second, ''I know.''

you phrased it like a question, almost.

''i apologise for the abrupt call, but, there seems to be a gap in my life where our daily phone calls once were, and to be frank, i missed them.'' he said it straight forward. he prayed that gigi's advice was right. he started the talk part, now he needed to stay. ''how have you been?''

“uh,” you laughed slightly on the other line, and grayson found himself missing the jokes you’d make that he’d call terrible, the nonsensical rants, or the way you’d beg to pick the movie to watch every single without fail on those movie nights you’d hold every friday. the one time he picked, it was the night you kissed. the night where everything changed, and grayson couldn’t tell if it was for the better or worse.

''well, I just broke my glasses, for one.'' you replied, ''like, literally two seconds ago.'' he heard the laugh in your voice, like the reasoning behind it was funny. but you didn't tell him the the story behind it.

you stayed silent, and that was one of the major tells things weren't how they used to be. stay, he reminded himself.

you were the type of person that when he'd ask about your day, you'd talk about every single detail, down to the tiniest things like your losing your favourite pen or tripping over a rock on your morning walk.

he didn't realise he could miss something so much.

''so uh,'' you cut into his thoughts with a small laugh that he could tell was out of nervousness. ''i need to go fix that. but other than that, i'm pretty good.'' grayson nodded, even though you couldn't see him.

''shame about your glasses, those frames did really suit you.'' he let the words escape his lips before he could think twice.

''thanks, but, they are long gone, for now, at least.'' you said. ''besides, them breaking now gives me an excuse to wear contacts. looking on the bright side.. but uh, enough of me, how are you?

grayson leaned back in his chair, ''ive been alright. however, i've been thinking,'' he began, ''i know we've sorted things out since i last saw you, but we haven't talked much, and i think it would be quite nice for us to see each other some time.''

''oh,'' your voice was quiet on the other end, and grayson sat back up straight again. ''yeah- yeah, sure. i was actually thinking about that earlier today. but i didn't really know how to talk to you, so, I'm glad you said something.''

gigi's advice was right.

'didn't really know how to talk to you.' that part made graysons chest hurt strangely, like he was back in the pool.

''what an odd coincidence,'' he responded simply.

you hummed before you spoke, your voice was quiet on the other line. ''I thought you didn't believe in coincidences.''

he was silent.

''sorry,'' you chuckled, ''I don't know why I said that, it just popped up in my mind- you used to say it all the time, and... yeah.''

''don't apologise, you haven't done anything wrong. youre right, I usually don't.''

''what changed?''

the response in his mind was instant: he met you.

''strangely enough, i'm not too sure.''

he heard you snort from the line, ''well, isn't that a first?'' you muttered, not giving him a chance to respond before you started again. ''um, gigi actually left for the airport this morning, so i'm incredibly bored right now.''

''would you like to organise something for today, then?''

you laughed again, ''is that your weird way of asking me if i want to hang out today?"

''you know i've never been particularly skilled in these areas.''

''oh boy, i know.'' you exhaled, ''well, i'll be heading to the park at like, 12, so...'' you trailed off, and he heard a slight smile in your voice. he wished he was seeing it, instead. ''if someone happened to, you know, coincidentally be there, i wouldn't necessarily turn and run away.''

he couldn't stop his own grin, though he knew he shouldn't feel too happy just yet. ''is that your strange way of telling me to meet you at the park at noon?''

''yes,'' you didn't miss a beat, ''it is.''

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iovetecchou · 2 years ago

Text

Circumstances ⧸ Aki Hayakawa.𖥔 ݁ ˖

summary: Trapped inside the hotel that has been taken over by the eternity devil, your superior: Hayakawa Aki, is the only comfort you've found. As the days go by, you find yourself seeking more than just comfort from your usually stoic leader.

༞ Contains...! smut, porn with a slight plot, and a sprinkle of fluff, only one bed trope, virgin!aki, inexperienced!aki, touch starved!aki, consent, dry humping, handjob, pussyjob, no penetrative sex, pillow talk, confessions, overall very soft and clumsy, the reader lovingly teases aki throughout the entirety of this fic

༞ AFAB Reader.

༞ 3,064 words.

kinktober masterlist!

It had been days.

Days; since you first stepped foot inside this forsaken hotel with your unit. Your Captain, Aki, was the only individual keeping your crew from losing their minds. Although, Kobeni was way beyond saving at this point.

You tried to stay optimistic, putting your trust in your Captain. You had no reason to doubt him, anyway. You admired Aki. If he asked you to follow him blindly, you would.

Aki always made you feel safe; it would be a lie if you said you had not fallen for him.

You admired every version of Aki, but your favorite side of him was the one only you got to see. The Aki who helped you get stronger, never giving up on you even when you stumbled and screwed up. The Aki who would go out after a harsh mission and eat almond tofu with you. The Aki that allowed himself to smile when he was in your presence, letting himself forget about his trepidations. Even if it was briefly before you witnessed the sorrow creep back into his cerulean eyes.

You could not help but feel as though Aki might have a soft spot for you. He always requested to be stationed with you on assignments and spoke highly of you to Miss Makima when you did exemplary work.

So when you got paired up to share a room with the captain himself, you could hardly contain your excitement.

Arai and Kobeni were in shambles, so Power locked them in a room together. She laughed menacingly on the outside from the sounds of them wailing and shrieking. Power and Denji took the next room, unintentionally pairing themselves up. You could hear them bickering through the thin walls before it got quiet. Ultimately, assuming that Denji must have fallen asleep.

And then there was Aki and yourself.

You would be lying if you said the prospect of sleeping in the same bed as your crush didn’t excite you, just a little bit. You knew it was wrong, considering the situation was less than ideal. You secretly wished your first time sharing a bed with Aki would be under better circumstances, but there’s no time like the present.

You could’ve sworn you saw Aki's cheeks flush when he noticed there was only one bed before he blurted out,

“I’ll take the floor. You take the bed.“

A frown etched its way into your visage, coming up with a solution to change his mind on the spot.

“But, Mister Hayakawa, I think it would be safest if we stuck together and stayed as close as possible. Who knows what the eternity devil might do next? It might try to separate us, so we must have eyes on one another at all times. That’s why we all paired up in the first place, right?”

You watched as he lit a cigarette, inhaling deeply and holding it in his lungs for a few beats before ultimately exhaling with a sigh. You could tell he was thinking over your proposition from the way his eyebrows knit together.

“Alright, you have a point. But only if you are comfortable with that.”

Your eyes lit up as he agreed to your proposal. You turned on your heel, making your way toward the messily made bed. Trying to conceal your grin from Aki.

“Of course I’m comfortable! You always make me feel safe, Mister Hayakawa.”

Aki's cheeks dusted a pretty pink from your words. With your back still turned, you kicked your shoes off. Shrugging off your blazer before rolling up the sleeves of your white button-down. He took another drag of his cigarette, making slow strides toward the bed. Aki propped his sword against the nightstand before unbuttoning his suit jacket. Trying his hardest not to overthink resting beside you.

“I will only need a few hours until I am back on patrol, but I want you to get as much rest as possible. I will try my best not to wake you when I leave.”

All you could do was nod in agreement as you lifted the covers, making yourself as cozy as you could; regarding the circumstances.

You turned on your side from beneath the sheets, observing Aki as he put his cigarette out. He slipped his shoes off, lifting his side of the duvet before crawling underneath. He was as stiff as a board as he rested flat against the bed. You could tell he was nervous, and you were not sure if it was because of the proximity or because of the devil, which was still at large.

“Mister Hayakawa, are you okay? You look a bit tense.”

Aki let out a deep sigh. He turned his head slightly so that he could glance at you before he spoke softly.

“It’s just… I want to make sure we all get out of here alive without having to sacrifice anyone. Defeating this devil, getting the gun devil chunk, and making sure you get out of here unharmed, are my top priorities.”

You felt your cheeks heat up from his words. To learn that Aki prioritized your well-being in such a way made your heart flutter.

“Don’t worry mister Hayakawa! With you being our captain, I have no doubts that we will succeed in all of those departments. Also, don’t feel like you need to bear the burden on your own. You can lean on me, I promise.”

Your words forced Aki’s chest to tighten. You put so much faith into him, and knowing that you believed in him to such an extent eased his mind. For the time being.

Aki took in a deep breath before sitting up swiftly. He reached over toward the lamp resting atop the night table, tugging on the copper string. Enveloping you both in complete darkness.

“Thank you… Now get some rest. I’m sure we have a long day ahead of us,”

Aki whispered, turning on his side to face you. A tight-lipped smile pulled at his lips before he finished his thought.

“And one more thing, you don’t need to call me Mister Hayakawa while we’re on the job. You can always call me Aki. You know that, right?”

You watched as he tucked a hand under his pillow for support, adjusting slightly to let himself slump further into the bed. A small giggle slipped past your lips from his words before you retorted,

“Of course, I know that! I just figured you liked it when I addressed you as Mister Hayakawa. I mean, considering how your ears turn a pretty shade of pink when I do.”

You teased. Inching yourself closer to your superior from where you lay atop the mattress. Practically sharing the same air at this point.

“Hey, cut that out.”

Was all Aki could blurt out before he turned his back toward you. He silently thanked the darkness for shrouding the room, concealing the rosiness that painted his face.

That didn’t stop you from shifting impossibly closer. You pressed your chest against the expanse of Aki's back, closing the distance between you two before letting your arm sling around his hip.

“I’m sorry, Mister Hayakawa… I didn’t mean to tease.”

Your voice laced with faux innocence. But Aki could hardly focus on the words you spoke only moments ago. The feeling of your arm wrapped around his midsection and your chest pressing into him had his brain short-circuiting.

Physical affection was not something Aki was used to by any means, and the fact that you were the one touching him made his head spin even further. Aki felt comfortable with you. He cherished the time you spent together, more than he let on.

“Yes, you did. Do you take me for one of those idiots over in the next room?”

Aki huffed, trying his hardest not to twitch when your fingertips trailed over his clothed abdomen. You scooted up the bed slightly; so you could rest your head atop Aki’s shoulder. Lips ghosting over the shell of his rosy ear before you whispered out,

“Of course not, Mister Hayakawa. You are clever, way better than the others. In every aspect.”

Your hand trailed lower, fumbling with the clasp of his belt. You heard Aki’s breath hitch as you pulled the leather out of the buckle.

“What are you—“

“Like I said earlier, you seem a bit tense. Let me help you, Mister Hayakawa.”

His heart was pounding against his sternum. Aki could feel his hands shaking as he remained silent. You could tell he was way beyond nervous.

“I’m sorry. I’ll stop if you are uncomfortable.”

You whispered, slowly retracting your hands from around his waist. What you didn’t expect was for Aki to turn in his place, coming face to face with you once more.

“No it’s not that… i-it’s just…”

You could barely make out his expression in the darkness, but you could feel his hand trembling beside you. Your hand crept down to grasp his arm, placing his large palm atop your waist.

“Why are you shaking so much, Mister Hayakawa? It’s just us.”

The way that nickname rolled off your tongue made his head fuzzy. He could feel the warmth of your skin seeping through your shirt.

“Is this what you want?”

Aki took a shaky breath, trying to collect his thoughts.

“I…”

His voice was quivering as you two shared the same air. Another moment passed before you whispered,

“Do you want me to stop, Aki?”

His breath hitched. You said his name, finally. Aki’s heart was beating a mile a minute as you slowly started to pull away.

“N-No… don’t stop.”

That was all the conformation you needed. You could hardly contain your excitement as you pressed your chest flush against his in one swift motion. You hoisted your leg around his waist, pulling a low grunt from Aki.

Now you understood the reason behind Aki’s trembling; he was hard. You could feel his erection pressing up against your clothed core from the new position.

“Ah… I’m sorry—“

Before Aki could finish his sentence, your lips were on his. His cerulean eyes were blown wide at the sudden kiss, but he wasn’t complaining.

Aki thought about this moment countless times your lips colliding with his. But never in a million years did Aki think your first kiss together would be under these circumstances.

You deepened the kiss further, swiping your tongue across his bottom lip. At first, Aki didn’t get the hint, but when your pelvis ground down against his aching cock, he couldn’t help but let out a whine.

The moment his lips parted against yours, you slipped your tongue past. Tangling with his appendage slowly, letting him get used to the newfound intimacy. Aki was still shaking, you noted, as your hand came up to unbuckle his belt; for good this time.

Aki only pulled away from your lips when he felt you unzip his pants, tugging on the waistband of his boxers.

“W-Wait… I’ve never…”

Aki could feel the perspiration trickling down the side of his neck as he swallowed the lump in his throat, adams apple bobbing in the process.

“I know, and it’s okay. You don’t have to be embarrassed about it, Aki. I want to make you feel good, and I promise I’ll go slow.”

You muttered against his lips, slipping your hand through the hole in his boxers. Aki gasped against your lips as you seized his needy cock. Gently pulling his length through the cut-out of his underwear.

“Is this okay?”

You asked, halting in your movements. You placed a small kiss on Aki's nose as you awaited his response, being as patient as ever with him. Aki nodded fervently before whispering,

“Yes… more— please…”

Aki’s plea sent heat rushing to your core. He was too precious, and who were you to deny him?”

Your hand slowly began rubbing his leaky cock. There was so much pre-cum coating the head of his dick; making it even easier to glide your palm along his twitching length.

“Does this feel good?”

You picked up the pace ever so slightly, letting your thumb circle around his ruddy tip.

“Fuck— yes, so… so good…”

Aki’s head fell forward, now resting his forehead against yours as you continued to stroke his cock.

“Better than when you do this to yourself?”

You asked earnestly, reveling in the little whines and whimpers that slipped past his lips.

“Mhm…”

That was all Aki could muster out. He was too drunk off the pleasure you granted him. He couldn’t remember the last time he felt this good. Your hands worked him so carefully— so tenderly. For the first time in a long time; Aki allowed himself to forget his worries. He allowed himself to succumb to you entirely.

You could feel him throbbing in your hand. You knew he was nearing his end. Aki’s perspired forehead stuck to your own, his breath was warm against your lips. You couldn’t help but clench around nothing at his silent pleas of,

“Please, don’t stop… feels s-so— good…”

Quickly, you removed your hand from around his length. Your leg unhooked from around his waist for a brief moment as you fumbled with your belt. Swiftly pushing your pants and panties down your legs before kicking them off from underneath the covers.

“What are you—“

“Shh… don’t worry, I’m not stopping. I want to try something different, just trust me on this… okay?”

Your hand came back up to Aki’s waist. Slowly, you pushed his trousers and boxers down his thighs, letting his cock spring free. His length slapped against his tummy. Aki hissed at the friction, harshly swallowing once more as your leg came back up to wrap around his waist.

“O-Okay... I trust you, Y/N.”

With that, your chest came flush against his once more. Only this time, your slick pussy grazed along the underside of his throbbing length.

“S-Shit…”

Aki cursed, suddenly feeling overwhelmed; at the feeling of your essence coating his cock. You were so warm and wet. He could hardly contain his moans as you began grinding against him. You moved your hips slowly at first, rubbing the most sensitive parts of his length with your drooling slit.

“Does this feel good?”

You huffed. You began to feel dizzy from the intimacy Aki and yourself shared. You whined as your clit rubbed against him so perfectly. Your slick allowing you to glide against him with ease.

“T-Too good!”

Aki cried out. His hand around your waist tightened as he began aiding you in your movements. Thrusting you impossibly closer to him. Adding even more pressure against your puffy bud. You both moaned in unison. Grinding against each other with more intensity than before.

“I think… I’m…”

Aki could hardly finish his train of thought. Too wound up in the heat of the moment. You soothed your hand over the small of his back, continuing to hump into Aki before you whispered,

"I know, baby, let it all out."

Your tender words sent Aki spiraling. His release crashed down on him faster than he could process. Before you knew it, Aki was the one kissing you. He whimpered against your lips as his first ropes of cum shot out past his slit.

The feeling of his cock twitching and throbbing against your clit was enough for the coil within your tummy to snap. You gasped against his lips as you came. Your movements staggered, still trying to work Aki and yourself through your orgasms.

A few moments passed before Aki finally pulled away from your lips. He took in a deep breath as his hand clenched and unclenched around your waist. You assumed it was a form of self-soothing for Aki.

"Are you okay?"

You asked softly. You trailed your hand up Aki's frame, slotting to cup his face instead.

"Mhm… are you? Did you… enjoy that?"

Aki's words were hesitant. You could tell he was immensely unsure of what this now meant for the both of you.

"Of course I enjoyed it, Aki. I've been dreaming of a moment like this with you for ages now. I just… I'm sorry, I wanted to properly do things with you. But our lives are so complicated,"

You paused, caressing his cheek with your thumb softly before letting out a deep sigh.

"Aki… I truly adore you, I always have. So, now you know. I figured since there's a high possibility of us dying here, I might as well lay it all out on the table. I mean, we did just hump each other like a couple of dogs—"

"Ah, stop right there."

Aki's eyebrows scrunched up at your crude words. He felt embarrassed all over again.

You could not help the giggle that slipped past your lips. Aki was too adorable for his own good. He was such a gentleman, another thing to tack onto the list of 'things you love about Aki'.

"Sorry, sorry! I wish it wasn't so dark in here, I bet the look on your face was priceless."

You teased, bringing your hand back down to encompass Aki's waist before nestling your face into his chest. Your leg was still wrapped around his hips, pulling a small grunt from Aki when you closed the distance between you both for the last time tonight.

"Hey, at least let me get you a towel so I can clean you up. It's a… mess, down there— because of me."

You smiled against his chest before a yawn passed over you. You slipped your hand under his shirt, smoothing over the small of his back before you whispered,

"Aki, relax! It's okay… let's get a little bit of rest before it's back to patrolling. I wanna hold you like this, just a little while longer… Please?"

His heart ached at your words. Aki would give anything to stay in this moment with you forever. His hand tightened around your waist, keeping you snug against him before ultimately letting out a sigh.

It only took you a few moments to knock out. Aki smiled to himself as your little snores filled the room. He tried not to mind the sticky sensation coming from below as he placed a kiss atop your head. Finally, he allowed his droopy eyelids to close before whispering,

"You could be such a brat at times… you know that, right? But, that's just another thing I… love about you."

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