#Self-Promo: We Bet About More Trouble?

[marykaxmuses]

«Can you smile at me like you do when you see these beautiful flowers?»

Indie, Selective, Multimuse, Multi-fandom, Multiships ♥ RP English/French only ♥ Please read the rules before asking!! ♥ Au, OC, Crossover Friendly ♥ Written by Aerynn ♥ Mun is 30.    

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[somebodycall911onabc]

Some post-4x13 Buddie because ummmm no to everything that just went down and whatever the hell they're doing with that promo. Pre-relationship Eddie introspection, guest-starring sleepy Buck and Chris (how often can I have these two idiots—Buck and Eddie, not Chris—wake each other up too goddamn early in the morning; the answer is infinite).

Eddie wakes up.

The world is a quiet, washed-out hum of static and dim light. He listens to his breath, in and out, in and out, as the room comes into focus. The rhythmic beeping monitor. The rough sheets over his chest. The hollowed-out numb of his shoulder where—

fuck. Where he’d been shot.

Eddie blinks open his eyes and grimaces. He’s probably doped to hell but his shoulder aches like forest fire, like a pain that will consume him and the whole world too, if he lets it. His head feels like someone pumped it full of air right up until the point before it bursts. He grits his teeth and gathers saliva on his tongue, carefully distributes it so that when he swallows, it will feel less like he’s ingesting a quart of sand. He knows this song and dance. He wiggles his fingers and toes and notes that remarkably, everything’s in working order. He wonders how often you can cheat death before that karma comes to get you.

Although he thinks Buck would probably go to bat for him, even against death himself. The heart monitor spikes as Eddie remembers with a vicious and cruel clarity Buck’s eyes on his as Eddie shuddered and collapsed. Buck’s wide, deer-in-headlights eyes, all that Eddie could see, just two pinprick pupils until there was nothing else, just the black, blank darkness.

Eddie tips his head to the side and opens his eyes, unclenching his fists, and nearly reels back when he sees Ana. She’s crumpled in the seat beside him, her chin resting on her collarbone, her long, dark eyelashes twitching against her cheek as she sleeps.

He closes his eyes and turns his head away.

But Ana’s a light sleeper. She was already waking up when he looked at her, roused from the shallow depths of unconsciousness by the change in Eddie’s breathing pattern, or something. His eyes are still closed when she croaks out, “Eddie?”

He looks at her.

“Eddie!” She says, raising her hands to flutter them over his chest, his face, his un-wounded shoulder. “You’re awake! You’re alive! Thank God,” she says, fervent. Like a prayer.

“Guess I’m just… lucky,” Eddie wheezes out. She smiles at him, eyes watering, and he gave the PG-version of his Silver Star story in her classroom but there’s no hint of recognition in her eyes.

“Either the luckiest man alive, or the unluckiest,” she says. “I’m pretty sure a lucky man wouldn’t be shot at quite so much.” She presses a kiss to his temple and Eddie has the horrible impulse to bat her away from him like she’s an overbearing aunt.

God, he’s an idiot. And it would take getting shot for him to realize it.

“What… happened?” Eddie asks, relieved when she leans back and settles into her chair.

“I’m not sure… I heard there was a sniper on the scene. The police think he might be targeting first responders, because how could this year get any worse?” When she shakes her head, her curls bounce in a way Eddie found appealing, once. It feels like a million years ago.

“Chris?” He asks, heart racing once more. She glances at the monitor and then back to him, offering a reassuring smile that does little to soothe his nerves.

“He’s OK. Buck’s with him.” Those three words calm Eddie instantly, like someone turning off an electric kettle, the worry bubbling up inside him simmering to a still. Because it means Chris is OK, and so is Buck. “I’m really grateful to Buck,” Ana is saying, taking his hand in hers, drawing his attention back to her. “It means I get to be here, with you.” She smiles at him like he’s fragile.

Wrong.

Eddie looks at her and doesn’t know how to tell her. How to tell her that the right thing would be for her to be at Chris’s side. That Chris always came first. Chris was the first and only priority. Chris was Eddie’s heart, raw and exposed, just like Bobby had said.

He looks at her and thinks about Chris’s smile, how he lights up the minute Ana walks in the room. He thinks about Chris confessing to him, quiet and anxious, that he’d asked Santa to find Mommy. He thinks about his parents telling him that the proper thing to do was to marry the girl carrying his child, even if he wasn’t sure he loved her.

Chris has been and will always be the most important thing in Eddie’s life. But Eddie’s starting to realize that even with a Northstar as good and perfect as Chris, Eddie didn’t always make the best choices. For himself, for Chris, or for their family.

“Can you call Buck, for me?” Eddie asks, brushing his thumb over Ana’s delicate knuckles. “If it’s not too late. I want to see my boys.”

She hastily bends down to pick up her purse and fumble her phone out, tell him it was fine, Buck had wanted her to call him as soon as Eddie woke up, anyway. He catches a glimpse of a “5” as she unlocks the phone and opens her contact list.

In the early morning, hospital quiet, Eddie can hear the phone ring on the other end of the line. Once, twice. Click.

“Hello?’ Buck asks, voice scratchy with sleep.

“Let me talk to him,” Eddie says, before Ana can get a word in. She hesitates, opens her mouth, but he holds her gaze until she extends the phone to him. Eddie’s hand is steady when he takes it from her.

“Hey,” Eddie says. Buck’s bleary-eyed, curls smashed to one side of his head, half his face obscured by a dark shape.

“Eddie,” Buck says, a ragged, relieved sound. He shifts, and Eddie hears him say, “Chris, Chris wake up, it’s your dad, Chris, he’s OK!”

And then there’s another face, pressing too close to the camera, so that Eddie mostly sees a nostril and some chin.

“Daddy!” Chris whoops, and Eddie smiles, and Buck pulls Chris back from the phone screen so Eddie can see him.

“Hey there, buddy,” Eddie says, “sorry I scared you.”

“W-wasn’t scared,” Chris insists, blinking rapidly because without his glasses, the world was mostly a multi-colored smudge. “I had Buck.”

Buck—who settles Chris’s glasses over his face with heartbreaking tenderness. Buck—who wraps an arm around Chris and scoots them back against the headboard so they can both see Eddie. Buck—who had clearly been sleeping in Chris’s bed, keeping him safe while Eddie was getting several pints of blood pumped into his body and shrapnel extricated from his shoulder.

“That’s good,” Eddie says. “Really good.”

“We knew you’d be OK,” Buck says. “Right, Superman?”

“Yeah. ‘Cause of your lucky charm.”

Eddie has to close his eyes against that. Chris is still so young, still Disney-innocent and honey-sweet, and Buck knew exactly what to say to calm Chris down. He knew Chris’s favorite bedtime story and the playlist Eddie made for him to help Chris fall asleep.

“That’s right,” Eddie chokes out. “My St. Christopher medal.”

“No.” Eddie blinks at that, at the stubborn line of Chris’s mouth. “Me. And Buck.”

Buck looks just about as surprised as Eddie feels.

“What?” Eddie asks.

“What?” Buck asks.

“What?” Chris asks, confused at their confusion. He addresses Buck. “Daddy said that I was his good l-l-luck charm. Because he loves me. A-and he loves you, so you’re his good luck charm too.”

Eddie isn’t sure if his kid is perceptive or just putting together ideas in the way only kids can. But it doesn’t really matter, because he isn’t wrong.

“Got me there,” Eddie agrees. “I must be pretty lucky, since I’ve got the both of you watching my back.”

Buck’s smiling a pleased, sunshine grin. The room is too dark and the connection is too poor, but Eddie would bet money that Buck’s blushing.

Eddie very deliberately doesn’t look at Ana.

“We’ll come visit as soon as the hospital opens,” Buck promises. “It’s good you called, because we should probably get going.”

To his right, Chris gives a huge yawn.

“You sure? I’m not going anywhere.”

“You think we’re gonna be able to sleep now that you’re awake? No way.”

“No way!’ Chris agrees.

“We’ll be there in fifteen. Twenty. Ten?” Buck looks down at Chris.

“Five!” Chris shouts. “The f-firetruck could make it in five minutes!”

“But we only have Buck’s jeep,” Buck says, pouting at Chris. “Definitely not a firetruck.”

“Fifteen,” Chris amends.

“OK,” Eddie says with a laugh that barely hurts. “I’ll see you soon. Thanks, Buck.”

“For what?” Buck asks, ruffling Chris’s hair with the hand that had been draped over Chris’s shoulders. “Be there soon.”

The call disconnects with the finality of a book snapping shut. He squares his shoulders (as much as he can while lying in an inclined hospital bed with a bullet injury) and turns his head to face Ana.

Her eyes are narrowed and hard, like ice over a troubled stream.

“So,” she says, slow and calm, “Buck?”

“Yeah” Eddie says. It’s all he can say. He can’t tell her how to be what he needs, what Chris needs. He can’t tell her to put Chris first like a reflex, like an instinct.

He doesn’t blame her. He isn’t mad at her. He isn’t even disappointed. He’s as shocked as anyone that he met someone who understood, immediately and profoundly, that Chris was Eddie’s world. Eddie had never counted on someone like Buck. And it was time he stopped running from that and accepted it for the undeserved, unparallelled gift that it was.

“I’m sorry,” he adds.

“Me too.” Ana takes her phone back with a snap of her wrist and drops it in her purse. “I’m going to go home.”

“Yeah,” Eddie says, feeling a little guilty. He knows what it’s like to feel left behind, waking up with nothing but a note and the realization that you could never be good enough.

Ana gets to her feet and smooths the wrinkles of her blouse, and for a moment she reminds him so much of Shannon that he’s dizzy. The straight back, the self-posession, the tumble of curls swept over her shoulder.

He hopes Ana finds a love worthy of her, someone who will treasure her and believe her when she says, “sometimes our limitations let us know who we are.”

Because Eddie looked at the world like a challenge. He threw himself into it like the world might burn up tomorrow, but he would fight to the last breath anyway. He peeled away honorable discharge and may experience lifelong mobility dilemmas and we know what’s best for him and don’t you know how hard it is to be a single father like strips of old paint.

And Buck was the same way. Buck was I had to do it and didn’t you know Jim Abbot played baseball with only one hand and I’m in. You wanted us to bond, Cap. We might end up real close.

Eddie watches Ana leave, her heels clicking sharp against the tiled floor. At the door, she turns her head.

“I am glad you’re OK, Edmundo.”

“Thank you.”

And then she’s gone.

And then Eddie waits, anticipation mounting, for his boys to bring him home.

[likecastle]

In which Jaskier cuts Geralt’s hair

Well, folks, I was inspired by Geralt’s slightly wavier wig in the new S2 promo photos to write a story in which Geralt finally gets some proper haircare and it brings out his natural curl pattern. This somehow turned into 7,000 words of Geralt musing about his own terrible self-image and Jaskier tenderly negotiating a haircut.

Credit for Geralt’s 3-in-1 shower products goes to @exrayspex​, with my thanks for their enthusiasm about this exceedingly soft concept!  

I’d like to put this up on AO3 at some point, but the title has me stumped, so if anyone has a suggestion, please let me know.

“When are you going to let me cut your hair?”

Geralt snorts, incredulous. “I’m not.”

Jaskier fixes Geralt with a pleading look. The streaks of peacock blue Jaskier recently added to his hair really bring out the color of his eyes—all the better to beguile him with. “Come on, Geralt, don’t you trust me?”

“No,” Geralt says, trying without much luck to keep his attention on the TV screen. Suddenly he has to fight the urge to tuck a stray strand of his hair behind his ear.

“It would look so nice if you just took proper care of it,” Jaskier wheedles.

“It doesn’t need to look nice.” Geralt can feel his shoulders creeping up towards his ears, and he wishes Jaskier would look at something else besides him. “It’s just hair.”

“But—”

Geralt jabs the remote in the direction of the TV. “Are you going to let me watch this or do you want to go home?”

“Fine, you grouch,” Jaskier says, returning his attention to the screen.

It must not hold Jaskier’s interest, though, because he can feel Jaskier’s gaze returning to him periodically throughout the rest of the film—which in itself isn’t all that unusual, since Jaskier watches even movies he really likes with one eye on his phone. Except that when Geralt meets his gaze, Jaskier’s looking at him with a wistful, almost sad expression. Geralt doesn’t let himself wonder what might be on his mind.

Later, Jaskier yawns wide and says he’d better be going if he doesn’t want to fall asleep at the wheel on the way home. It’s just a dramatic excuse not to help clean up, Geralt knows, but he can’t help smiling at the way Jaskier rubs at his eyes, smudging the faded remnants of his eyeliner. Geralt walks him to the door, and for a moment Jaskier just stands there on the porch, looking at Geralt thoughtfully.

When his hand reaches up, Geralt freezes. He thinks for a moment that Jaskier’s about to cup his cheek and drawn him down—but he just takes a strand of frizzy hair that’s come loose from Geralt’s ponytail and twists it around a finger.

“I thought so,” Jaskier says, with a private little smile.

Geralt’s sure Jaskier must be able to hear the way his breath’s gotten jammed up in his chest. “Thought—?”

“Nothing.” Jaskier digs his hands into the pockets of his jacket and starts down the front steps. “G’night, Geralt.”

As Geralt tidies away their takeout containers and empty beer bottles, his mind keeps wandering back to Jaskier’s offer. He knows Jaskier’s just trying to be nice—or trying to fix him, the way he tried to “liven up” Geralt’s wardrobe early in their friendship and tried to set him up on dates after he split up with Yen last year. But the options he tries to push on Geralt—the overpriced bomber jacket Jaskier bought him that’s still sitting at the back of his closet, the gorgeous chestnut-haired nurse Jaskier introduced him to—always seem to reflect more about Jaskier’s idea of Geralt than they do about Geralt himself.

Because the thing is, he’s not brash and stylish like Jaskier, who’s all eccentric colors combinations and flashing rings that accentuate his expressive hands. Jaskier knows how to construct an outfit that tells the world exactly who he is at any given moment, from his ever-evolving hairstyles to his painstakingly-sourced vintage clothes. Geralt, on the other hand, is just—nothing, an absence of style. His idea of a good outfit is one he can forget he’s wearing, one that will make everyone else forget him when he’s wearing it. His relationship to his appearance is as estranged as his relationship to his ex-wife. Being in his body, making use of it when he’s lifting weights or hammering a nail or swinging Ciri up in his arms—that makes sense to him. But thinking about his body is the opposite of that. He doesn’t like being looked at, even by himself. He avoids the mirror on his medicine cabinet as much as he can and starts feeling close and queasy if he so much as looks at himself in a dressing room mirror.

Before he goes to bed that night, he shakes his hair out from his ponytail and makes himself take a long, hard look in the mirror. All he sees is the sallow, tired-eyed face of a man who can hardly remember how to smile anymore, a face scarred from carelessness and creased from years of worry. His dull white hair, which Jaskier had twisted so carefully around his finger, is somehow greasy and dried out at the same time, limp around his face but bristly at the ends. He can’t find any sign of the potential Jaskier seems to think is there. He suspects it was never there in the first place—a mirage visible only to well-intentioned flatterers like Jaskier—and he feels foolish for looking.

No, Geralt decides, he’s not going to let Jaskier cut his hair, or do anything else to him. Better not to bother at all.

*

The next time the topic of Geralt’s hair comes up, he’s brought Ciri into Jaskier’s salon for an emergency haircut. Ordinarily, Yennefer handles things like haircuts and clothes shopping, but Saturday night, Ciri emerged from the bathroom with the front her hair lopped off somewhere around her eyebrows and a dawning expression of anxious regret on her face. Geralt had reassured her that everything would be OK, while texting Jaskier frantically for help and silently panicking about what Yen was going to say when she came to pick Ciri up on Sunday night. Thankfully, Jaskier was able to squeeze Ciri into his schedule this afternoon, and he promised to fix Ciri up.

So now Geralt is sitting awkwardly in the waiting area, hunched on a squeaky vinyl-upholstered chair. He’s been to Jaskier’s salon plenty of times—to meet him for lunch or a post-shift drink, to drop off something he left at the house or to give him a ride home—but he rarely does more than stand uneasily just inside the door. The relentless pop music and the echoing acoustics never fail to overwhelm him, as does the muddle of scents—clouds of different hair products and the pervasive smell of something sharp like ammonia. The abundance of mirrors unnerves him, too. Nobody can possibly need to see so many views of their own reflection, can they? Between the curious patrons peering at him in the mirrors and passersby staring in through the plate glass storefront, Geralt feels like he’s on display. And to make matters worse, he keeps catching glimpses of his reflection, his own hunted expression looking back at him from unexpected angles.

Ciri, at least, is having a great time, chatting happily with Jaskier as he snips away at her hair. The last time Geralt took Ciri for a haircut, it was at one of those children’s salons where the chairs looked like toy cars, and now here she is, sitting beside grown women almost like she’s one of them. It scares him, sometimes, to think of her growing up—more than sometimes. There are so many ways the world can fail her, and he can only do so much to protect her. There’s going to come a time when she’s going to get into some kind of trouble he won’t be able to bail her out of, and he’s not sure what he’s going to do with himself when that day comes. But for now, at least he can pay Jaskier to fix her disastrous home-brew haircut.

“What d’you think, Dad?” Ciri calls, and he looks up to see Jaskier removing her cape with a flourish. When he turns Ciri’s chair around to face him, Geralt’s heart catches in his throat. How grown up she looks, he thinks, but what really makes his chest ache is how much she’s coming into herself—becoming someone with her own unique taste in clothes and books and music, who won’t compromise about the bullshit dress codes at school and is brave enough to try something new even if the results are atrocious. He doesn’t know where she gets it.

“You like it?” he asks, not trusting himself to say something that won’t embarrass her.

“Yeah, I guess,” she says with a shrug, and hops down from the chair.

“We could do yours next, Geralt,” Jaskier offers, sweeping up the little blonde fragments of Ciri’s hair from the floor around his station.

“Ooh, yeah!” Ciri grins up at him. “I bet Jaskier would give you a really cool haircut.”

“I’m sure he would,” Geralt says mildly. He doesn’t want to quash Ciri’s enthusiasm or impart his own discomfort to her. It’s one of the things that keeps him up at night, the fear that he’ll pass down all his insecurities. He tries so hard to keep that shit buttoned up, to shield her from his own shortcomings—and he knows it’s inevitable that he’s just going to mess her up in other ways, but he wants to do better for her, has to do better. “Maybe some other time.”

“So you’ll consider it!” Jaskier says triumphantly, coming over to tell the receptionist the total for Ciri’s cut.

Geralt notices Ciri looking at herself in the big mirror behind the front desk, fussing self-consciously with her new fringe. Jaskier must notice, too, because he gives Ciri a big hug and says, “You look great, kiddo. Right, Geralt?”

“Definitely,” Geralt says, surrendering his credit card to the receptionist to pay a frankly staggering amount. He tips a hundred percent.

*

“You should take him up on it,” Yennefer says that evening when Geralt concludes the story of Ciri’s haircut by telling her about Jaskier’s offer to cut Geralt’s hair.

Geralt blinks in surprise. “Really?”

She glances back to where Ciri is waiting for her in the car. “Jaskier did a good job. She and I are going to have a serious conversation later about when to ask for permission and when to ask for forgiveness, but I have to admit it suits her.”

“It does,” Geralt agrees. He realizes he doesn’t know what it would be like, to feel his appearance suited him. He’s never tried, really, to make his exterior reflect his interior, wouldn’t even know where to begin.

“Besides,” Yennefer says, gesturing to his haphazard ponytail, “you really do need to start taking better care of yourself, now that I’m not around to make sure you’re presentable anymore.”

Geralt’s eyebrows shoot up, a smile twitching his lips. “Is that what you were doing? Looking after me?”

Yennefer lifts one hand to tug a lock of his hair, the gesture so similar to Jaskier’s that it makes him shiver, for some reason. “No, but somebody ought to.”

He ducks his head, hoping to hide the ache that washes through him—a longing for something they both wanted but never quite managed to find together. “If you keep Ciri waiting much longer, she’s gonna make a break for it.”

“She would, too,” Yennefer says affectionately. “Take care of yourself, Geralt.” She surprises him by brushing a kiss against his cheek, then turns to go.

Geralt waits until Yennefer’s car is out of sight before he goes inside. As he loads the dinner dishes into the dishwasher, he thinks again about Jaskier’s offer. He’s never been good at asking for things, let alone holding on them once he has them, but it’s been especially hard since he and Yennefer split—even the littlest things feel like they require an effort it’s not worth making. It’s so easy to tell himself he doesn’t need anything—a fancy haircut, a new jacket, a reassuring glance, a gentle touch. But sometimes, maybe, it’s enough to want them.

Wiping soapy water off his hands, Geralt pulls his phone from his pocket and texts Jaskier. Does your offer to cut my hair still stand? Only if you’ve got time.

OMG YES!!! comes the immediate reply. I can be there in 20. Then, a moment later, Jaskier amends, Shit wait make that 40 need to run to get some supplies

Geralt huffs out a laugh. Have to get up early tomorrow. This weekend?

All booked up this weekend but I’m off on Tues so I can come over to your place in the pm if that works for you

He’d hoped to give himself a few days to cancel, just in case he changes his mind, and in this respect Tuesday’s almost no better than forty minutes from now. But he does like the idea of doing this at home, instead of in the salon. He types out OK and hits send before he can think better of it.

Don’t chicken out before then

No promises, Geralt answers.

Jaskier responds with a string of emoji that Geralt finds completely inscrutable, but which make him smile nonetheless.

*

Jaskier arrives on Tuesday evening with a six-pack of cold beer and bag crammed full of supplies.

“I thought you were going to cut my hair, not outlast a siege,” Geralt says, trying to ignore the way his stomach twists with nerves over this impending ordeal. He should have cancelled. He should never have said yes to this ridiculous idea.

“Oh, none of this would be remotely useful in warfare,” Jaskier replies. Then, contemplatively, he says, “Well, maybe some of it. But first, I thought we could have a drink.”

“So you can cut my hair drunk?” Geralt asks.

Jaskier rolls his eyes and brushes past Geralt into the kitchen, dumping his bag into an empty chair at the table. “So you can relax a little for once. And so we can talk.”

Geralt feels the knot of anxiety in his stomach tighten even further. “What is there to talk about? It’s just a haircut.”

Jaskier lets out a long-suffering sigh as he rummages around in Geralt’s cutlery drawer in search of a bottle opener. “Geralt, have you not listened to a single word I’ve said about my job?” He pops off the caps of two bottles of beer and hands one to Geralt. “No, don’t answer that, I know you haven’t.”

Geralt takes a sullen sip of his beer, but he doesn’t dispute the accusation.

With a nod of his head, Jaskier gestures for Geralt to follow him into the living room, and flops down on what Geralt has come to think of as his side of the couch. Geralt sits at the other end, turned to face him. “You need to know what you want going into this, or you won’t get good results.” Jaskier fixes him with a gaze that makes Geralt take another swallow of his beer. “Have you ever given any thought to what you like, or don’t like, about your hair?”

“Not . . . really,” Geralt mumbles, wondering how angry Jaskier would be if he called this whole thing off now.

“Well,” Jaskier says patiently, “why do you keep your hair long? I always assumed it was because you liked how it looked, but I’m realizing now I’ve never asked about it.”

Geralt takes another sip of his beer and tries to think of answer that’s not Because I do. He’s worn it long since high school, when it was primarily something to hide behind. It felt like a kind of fuck-you, an off-putting choice to keep people from looking too closely at him—and to help him forget about other people, too. “It’s easier,” he says finally. “Don’t have to get it cut every few weeks, and I can keep it out of my face.”

“OK, that’s good to know.” The calm, encouraging tone Jaskier’s taking should feel condescending, but Geralt finds he doesn’t mind—or maybe it’s just the beer starting to relax him a little.

“You don’t always tie it back, though, do you?” Jaskier goes on.

Geralt shakes his head. “When I’m working, yeah, but the rest of the time . . .” He shrugs. It depends—on who he’s around, how comfortable he feels with them, hell, how hard the wind is blowing. Sometimes he can’t stand the feeling of it in face, and sometimes the pressure of the hair elastic at the base of his skull is enough to make him want to rip it out.

“Can I . . . ?” Jaskier gestures to Geralt’s hair, and Geralt inclines his head. It’s inevitable that Jaskier will have to touch him if they’re going to go through with this, so there’s no point in being shy about it. Jaskier scoots forward on the couch, and Geralt holds very still, letting him reach back and undo the tie holding his hair back. A sheet of frizzy white strands spills around his bowed head, almost obscuring Jaskier from view.

He can feel Jaskier, though, running his fingers through his hair. The touch makes Geralt’s scalp tingle and a shiver runs through him that he tries and fails to suppress.

“OK?” Jaskier asks, and Geralt nods.

“You’ve never told me when you went grey.” Jaskier’s voice is hushed, almost as if he’s afraid of startling him. He continues to card his hand through Geralt’s hair—with professional curiosity, Geralt realizes, but the touch is so gentle it also feels like a reassurance. Geralt closes his eyes, grateful to be shielded from Jaskier’s view.

“Started in high school,” he says. It’s been a long time since he thought about how, when those first thick streaks of white were coming into his dark hair, kids at school would call him skunk and Cruella de Vil, shit he knew better than to respond to but that just made him even more self-conscious. It occurs to him now that most of his memories of being looked at—really noticed—are colored by other people’s derision for things he can’t help. “It was all like this by the time I was twenty-one, twenty-two. Someone told me once it’s genetic, but . . .” He shrugs again. He’s got no one to ask about a family history of premature graying, no photos of distant relatives to compare himself to.

Gentle fingers tuck his hair back behind one ear, and Geralt looks up to see Jaskier smiling at him. “I would pay good money to see pictures of you in high school. I bet you were so surly.”

“You wouldn’t have liked me,” Geralt says “I was insufferable.” Miserable and ungrateful and roiling with self-righteous anger all the time, hardly able to string a civil sentence together.

Jaskier rewards him with a snort of disbelieving laughter. “You’re insufferable now and I like you just fine.”

This is true, Geralt thinks. His anger has banked down somewhat since those days, but he’s no less difficult to be around, and Jaskier’s never seemed to mind his rough edges. If he’s being honest, he wouldn’t have been able to appreciate Jaskier in those day. His constant talking and absurd jokes would have grated on Geralt’s nerves, back then. They did when he first met Jaskier, in fact. He tried, for a long time, to keep his distance, sure that there was nothing he and Jaskier could possibly have to say to each other. But Jaskier kept turning up, kept surprising him, kept being kind to him for no damn reason. Geralt’s glad he did.

“So,” Jaskier says, pushing the conversation back in his desired direction, as he always does, “what I’m hearing is, you like wearing your hair long?”

Geralt considers, taking another swallow of his beer. Liking doesn’t figure into his thinking much, but it’s not just out of habit that he keeps it this way. “Yeah.”

Jaskier’s nod is solemn. “Anything you don’t like about it?”

Again, Geralt has to give this serious thought. “There are, uh . . .” He gestures to the wiry flyaways that tend to form around his head by the end of the day. They tend to tickle his face unpleasantly as he works, which is irritating when he doesn’t hand a hand free to brush them away.

“Yeah, it’s a little dry,” Jaskier says. “But we can fix that up.” Geralt knows exactly how soft Jaskier’s hair is, and he can’t imagine his own ragged hair could ever come close. “Anything else?”

Geralt shrugs.

“OK,” Jaskier says, “enough with the interrogation. I think I’ve got everything I need.”

Jaskier gets up and retrieves another beer—not for himself, but for Geralt. Jaskier’s fingers brush his as he hands over the bottle, and it gives him the same little shiver that he felt when Jaskier was combing through his hair. “D’you want me to tell you what I’m thinking, or just surprise you?”

Geralt’s gut instinct is to make Jaskier tell him what he’s got in mind, so that he has the option to veto it and put this whole thing to a stop. But he thinks of Jaskier’s teasing question the first time they talked about this—Don’t you trust me?—and how he’d said no when the answer is really yes. So he takes a deep pull of his beer and says, “Surprise me.”

The look of glee on Jaskier’s face is worth the knot of dread that immediately forms in Geralt’s stomach. He takes another drinks and reminds himself that it’s just hair. It’ll grow back.

“You’re not gonna regret it, I promise,” Jaskier says, and then his warm hands are urging Geralt up and off the couch.

It takes them a while to get everything situated to Jaskier’s liking—the bathroom is too cramped to accommodate a chair, so Jaskier has Geralt drag one into the kitchen, covering the floor in newspapers to catch the stray clippings. Then Jaskier sends Geralt to wash his hair while he sets up the rest of his supplies. When Geralt comes back downstairs, his hair soaking into his t-shirt, there is a truly staggering array of equipment spread out on the counter, Jaskier’s own little traveling apothecary kit, with everything from dangerously sharp scissors to brightly-colored bottles of product to some kind of instrument that looks like a bowl full of dull spikes, which Jaskier says attaches to his hair dryer.

“Rule number one,” Jaskier says, grabbing the towel out of Geralt’s hands. “No more regular towels on your hair. Your hair deserves to be treated with care.” Geralt snorts, but the towel he hands Geralt is pleasantly soft, with finer knap that’s soft as fleece in his hands. “And don’t rub at it,” Jaskier scolds. He steps closer, wrapping his hands around Geralt’s to guide him, his hand moving in a gentle squeezing motion. “That’s good,” he says, and Geralt feels his cheeks flush.

Once Geralt’s hair is toweled dry, Jaskier maneuvers him into the chair, and combs out his hair with a wide-toothed comb. Jaskier is exceedingly careful not to yank on the knots, but even so the gentle tug sets his skin tangling. Geralt knows his scalp is sensitive—he can remember fighting back tears while Vesemir struggled to brush out his unruly hair as a kid—but it’s never felt like this before. Of course, that might have something to do with the fact that ordinarily, when he finally breaks down and subjects himself to a trim, he just asks Eskel do come over and cut it with the kitchen scissors. Even with someone he trusts as profoundly as he does Eskel, it’s still an uncomfortable ordeal that makes him unaccountably tense. But this isn’t painful, or unnerving at all. It’s . . . nice, embarrassingly so. He can’t help wondering what it would feel like if Jaskier were to drag his nails along his scalp—and then he has to force himself not to think about it, because even the thought of the sensation sends a shudder through him.

Thankfully, Jaskier is busy fiddling with his phone, and a moment later he puts on a playlist he likes to call Geralt’s Sad Dad Rock mix. Geralt appreciates the background noise—familiar songs he can tune out if he wants to, quiet enough that the music’s not intrusive.

“OK,” Jaskier says, snapping a cape around Geralt’s throat. His hand comes to rest on Geralt’s shoulder and he leans in to speak almost directly into Geralt’s ear. “Ready?”

Geralt suppresses another chill and says, “As I’ll ever be.”

Jaskier gives his shoulder a reassuring squeeze and gets to work. Geralt’s grateful for the lack of mirrors, because it means he doesn’t have to see what Jaskier’s doing, but at the same time it leaves him without much to go on—just the touch of the comb, Jaskier’s hands carefully repositioning his head, his fingers pulling this or that lock of hair taut to snip at them with the scissors. Eventually, Geralt closes his eyes and lets Jaskier’s voice wash over him. Jaskier often accuses Geralt of not listening to him when he talks, but in truth it’s easy to get lost in the lilting cadence of his speech, like hearing a song but not its lyrics.

“. . . and the thing is,” Jaskier’s saying, though Geralt lost the thread of his rambling long ago, “the more you do it, the better your results will be. You just have to help them along . . .”

He can see why Jaskier’s clients like him so much, how nice it is to fall into the pattern of someone else’s words, especially when that someone has as nice a voice as Jaskier. He’s often grateful for Jaskier’s conversation, which fills silences Geralt didn’t even realize were empty until he came along.

When Jaskier says, “OK, you’re all done,” Geralt is surprised by how quickly the time has passed. “We can just leave it at that and just let it air dry, or . . .” Even though he can’t see Jaskier, he can picture the hopeful expression on his face.

“What?” Geralt asks, twisting around in the chair to look Jaskier in the eye.

Jaskier bites his bottom lip, looking almost nervous. “Or I could show you how to style it. If you wanted. Nothing over the top, I promise.”

Geralt thinks it over. On the one hand, there’s no way he’ll ever bother repeating anything Jaskier shows him how to do, but on the other hand, he wouldn’t mind having Jaskier’s hands on him a little longer. “All right.”

“Really?” Jaskier’s eyes go wide. “Nope, never mind, I’m not gonna second-guess this. No take-backs! You’re committed now.”

Which is how Geralt finds himself being hustled back upstairs and into the bathroom. Jaskier pulls back the shower curtain and is about to start issuing instructions when he lets out a squawk and staggers backward.

Geralt looks around in alarm, expecting to see a giant spider in the tub. It’s only belatedly that he realizes he’s thrown an arm out in front of Jaskier, as if that will protect him from whatever nonexistent threat he was reacting to. “What?”

“Geralt, for shame!” Jaskier exclaims, pointing to the bottle of 3-in-1 shampoo/conditioner/body wash on the edge of the tub. “Is that yours?” He says it with all the breathless horror of someone discovering a murder weapon.

“Uh . . .” Geralt has the distinct feeling he should try to deny it, but there’s no point in trying to pretend. “Yes?”

And then Jaskier is laughing, but it’s warm with delight, not mocking or cruel. In fact, he looks up at Geralt with such fondness that Geralt almost can’t bear it. “Oh, you poor man,” Jaskier says between gusts of laughter. “No wonder your hair is so dry!”

“. . . It’s efficient,” Geralt mutters in a half-hearted attempt to defend himself.

“It’s like washing your hair with dish soap. But don’t worry,” he adds, pressing a hand to Geralt’s chest, “I’ll get you sorted out and then your hair will be so soft it’ll be completely irresistible.”

“Hmm,” Geralt says dubiously, but Jaskier just grins at him.

“OK, this next part is going to be a little awkward. Ordinarily you’d do it by yourself in the shower, but I’m gonna take a wild guess and say you’d rather not jump in the shower with me right now.”

Geralt very much does not acknowledge the wave of heat that rolls through him at the thought.  “Probably wouldn’t fit, anyway.”

“Eh, I’ve made it work in smaller spaces than this,” Jaskier says, with such casual confidence that Geralt’s mouth goes dry. “But luckily, you’ve got one of those detachable showerheads, so we should be just fine. Might be easier, though, if you, uh, take off your shirt off.”

Geralt’s already come this far, and, besides, it’s not like Jaskier hasn’t seen him without his shirt on before. As Geralt strips off his shirt, Jaskier puts a towel down on the floor and beckons him to kneel down at the edge the tub. He’s careful to get the water to a comfortable temperature before he puts a warm hand on Geralt’s bare back, guiding him to lean over, his head bowed.

The routine Jaskier directs him through is more complicated than Geralt could ever have anticipated. There’s a thick, dark purple shampoo that Jaskier instructs him to use only once a week—he has another shampoo he’ll give Geralt to use at other times, but really, Jaskier insists, he should only be washing his hair a couple of times a week, anyway. Jaskier shows him how to rub the shampoo into his scalp only and let the water draw it down through the rest of his hair. The pressure of the spray on his scalp makes his skin tingle, as does the press of Jaskier’s body against his side. When Geralt doesn’t apply the conditioner to Jaskier’s liking, he adjusts Geralt’s hands with his own, smoothing their joined fingers through Geralt’s slippery hair. And when it comes time to rinse the conditioner out, he shows Geralt how to cup the water in his palms and press it into the wet mass of his hair.

“You’re doing great,” Jaskier tells him, and Geralt is grateful his face is hidden behind ropes of his wet hair.

Finally, Jaskier pronounces himself satisfied and turns off the water. Now that they’re done the task of washing his hair, Geralt’s awkwardly aware of his chest dripping with water in the cool air of the bathroom—and of Jaskier standing less than an arm’s length away from him.

Jaskier, on the other hand, is nothing but professional, rubbing a series of products into his hands and then smoothing them over Geralt’s hair. After each application, he gathers Geralt’s hair in his hands and presses it up toward Geralt’s scalp, just like they did with the water. It’s a bizarre motion, like nothing Geralt’s ever seen before, but it seems to be having the desired effect, because the strands of hair hanging down in front of his face are slowly forming into thick coils, and Jaskier keeps making little satisfied humming sounds with each new application. Jaskier finishes by wrapping Geralt’s hair up in another one of those extra soft towels.

“And now we wait,” he says, hopping up onto the sink.

Geralt pulls his shirt on again, careful not to disturb the towel on his head, and he might be wrong but he thinks that he catches a little disappointed frown cross Jaskier’s face, but it’s gone before he can be sure.

“Thanks for indulging me,” Jaskier says. “I know you don’t really like this kind of stuff, but I’m having a great time.”

“It’s not as bad as I thought it would be,” Geralt replies. But that sounds worse than it did in his head, and he hastens to add, “I mean—it’s nice—when it’s you.”

Jaskier’s smile is something Geralt can’t quite get to the bottom of—fond and wry and maybe a little sad, too. “Well, I’ve been dying to do this pretty much since the moment I met you, so, you know, thanks for that.”

It’s strange to think Jaskier has been harboring private aspirations where Geralt is concerned. But then Jaskier’s always been full of surprises when it comes to him—immune to his ill temper, amused by his rudeness, tenacious enough to bully his way past his silences. He’s never understood what Jaskier sees in him, and he often feels he offers a poor reward for the hard work Jaskier puts in to being his friend. Because it’s not easy, Geralt knows. Plenty of people have decided Geralt was too difficult to get to know, or too prickly to stick with. Even Yennefer, who’s loved him better than he could possibly deserve, struggled to make inroads against Geralt’s defenses. It never seemed to matter how much he loved Yennefer, he could never bring himself to relax around her. He was always on tenterhooks, waiting for the other shoe to drop—until, in time, it did, a sort of self-fulfilling prophecy. He can’t blame Yennefer ending things. She wants things he doesn’t know how to give. He couldn’t figure out how to change himself into the sort of person she deserved.

“D’you want another beer?” Jaskier asks, nudging Geralt’s knee with his bare foot.

He wouldn’t mind another drink, but he’s loathe to puncture the peaceful little moment that’s grown up between them. “Let’s just stay here.”

Jaskier nods, and a moment later Fleetwood Mac comes on over Jaskier’s phone speakers—one of the only bands they can agree on—and Jaskier treats him to an inspired rendition of “Dreams,” his voice turned otherworldly by the chill acoustics of the bathroom tiles. Geralt watches Jaskier dance on his perch on the edge of the sink and wonders, with an ache in his chest, what it would be like to be so uninhibited, so comfortable in his own skin. He can’t imagine it, but sometimes he feels like he’s maybe just a half-step closer to knowing when he’s around Jaskier.

When the song fades out, Jaskier hops down from the counter and says, “OK, time for the last step.”

Jaskier sticks that torture device attachment onto his hair dryer and lets Geralt’s hair down from the towel. Jaskier lets him stay seated, and starts drying his hair. He doesn’t pull Geralt’s hair taut with a brush, as Geralt has seen Yennefer do when styling her own hair. Instead, he gathers it up a section of hair in that little torture device accessory and holds the dryer still, letting the air work around the strands. Geralt closes his eyes against the noise and sensation of the air against his scalp. It lasts a long time, Geralt bracing his arms on his thighs as Jaskier moves the hair dryer around his head. The noise of the dryer makes conversation difficult, and Geralt feels strangely distant from Jaskier all of a sudden, even though he’s standing so close Geralt could press his face to the soft flesh of his stomach if he wanted to. He knots his hands together between his knees to keep himself from just reaching out and pulling Jaskier close.

When Jaskier finally switches off the hair dryer, the silence it leaves feels big. It’s probably just the heat from the hair dyer, but Geralt feels flushed and a little rubbed raw.

“All right,” Jaskier says, fixing him with a considering look. “Let me just . . .” He reaches out and grips Geralt’s hair in both hands. He doesn’t so much tug as gently crush the strands, but the pressure is enough to make Geralt’s mouth fall open, and he doesn’t exactly make a noise but something happens in his chest like his lungs kickstarting. Jaskier glances down at him with an inquisitive smile. “Sorry, too hard?”

It’s all Geralt can do to shake his head.

“All done,” Jaskier says. When he lets go, Geralt immediately misses the touch. “Wanna take a look?”

Geralt stands up and turns to regard himself in the mirror. To say he doesn’t recognize himself would be an overstatement, but the sight of his reflection is a surprise. The cut doesn’t seem all that different in terms of length, but the ragged edges are gone. The dingy white of his hair has turned a gleaming silver, and it hangs around his face not in its usual lank tangle, but in softly curling waves. It’s almost . . . pretty, a word he’s never associated with himself in his entire life. The new brightness of his hair makes his face seem clearer, more open somehow, and the gentle curls offset the hard lines of his face in a way that make his features look almost delicate, or in any case less roughly hewn than usual. He reaches up to touch it, and to his amazement, it’s just as soft as Jaskier promised it would be. Maybe not as soft as Jaskier’s own hair, but much nicer than he can remember it ever feeling before.

“You like it?” Jaskier asks, and in the mirror, Geralt can see he’s looking at him with a hopeful expression. It makes something twist in his stomach—longing, and at the same time a rejection of what he wants, the certainty that he can’t possibly hang onto anything nice for long enough to enjoy it.

“You know I’ll never go to all this trouble,” he says, gruffly, and immediately regrets it when he sees Jaskier’s smile slip from his face.

“No, I know,” Jaskier says, and starts packing up his supplies. “I just wanted to try it. I’ll still leave you all the products, just in case you change your mind, or—”

“Jaskier.” Geralt swallows hard, and puts a hand on Jaskier’s shoulder. “I—”

Jaskier looks at him with such a searching expression that Geralt hardly knows how to look at him. He’s never known someone who’s so much all the time, expansive and loud and demanding and generous and so goddamn bright.

“What I should have said,” Geralt says, against the tension threatening to stop his throat, “is that I wouldn’t have tried this if it weren’t for you. It’s . . .” He’s not sure how to answer Jaskier’s question. Does he like it? He looks so unlike himself that he honestly doesn’t know what to make of it. He can’t tell if it suits him or not, because he still isn’t sure what that would mean. But he likes the idea that Jaskier’s uncovered this version of him, that this might be how Jaskier sees him in his mind’s eye. “I’m glad we tried it. Thank you.”

“I am, too,” Jaskier says, quietly. “Even if you never do it again, I’m glad you trusted me enough to try. And for the record?” The twist of his lips is almost pained, but it’s a smile all the same. “You look fucking gorgeous.”

Geralt ducks his head, his shoulders inching up. “Jaskier . . .”

“No, I’m serious, Geralt.” Jaskier sounds annoyed, almost angry, all of a sudden. “I know you don’t care about superficial stuff—”

“That’s not—”

“—but take it from someone who spends a lot of time looking at people and doing my best to make them look as good as I possibly can: you’re objectively really fucking good-looking.” Jaskier lets out a harsh, reckless laugh. “And if you don’t care about my professional opinion, I also happen to think you’re the most attractive person I’ve ever met in my entire life, so there’s that.”

“I—”

Now that Jaskier’s started talking, he can’t seem to stop. “You’re the most incredible person I know, Geralt,” he says, in a breathless rush, “and I’m not talking just about your looks—although you are genuinely so ridiculously handsome that it’s really not fair. You’re kind for no reason and incredibly devoted and, OK, sort of a dick sometimes, but also so goddamn careful with other people and so fucking hard on yourself, and I just—I wish you could see yourself the way I do. I wish I could show you, even for just a second, because—”

“You did,” Geralt says. Jaskier stares at him, stunned into silence, and Geralt takes the opportunity to continue. “You do. Not just tonight.” He’s breathing hard, and he tries not to think about how dangerous this feels, like standing up on the top of a tall ladder or walking the line of a roof that might collapse under him at any moment. “When I’m with you, I feel like I could be that person you see in me, maybe. I just . . . don’t know how.”

Jaskier laughs again—softer this time. “You dummy,” he says, “you already are. You’ve just got to believe it.”

“Oh, is that all,” Geralt says.

“Yeah, no big deal,” Jaskier says, waving one hand dismissively. “You’ve got me to convince you, after all.”

“Oh, yeah?” Geralt can’t help the smile spreading across his face, despite the shivery feeling still simmering under his skin. “How’re you gonna do that?”

“Well . . .” Jaskier takes a step towards him, and then another, settling his hands lightly on Geralt’s hips. “I’d probably start a little like this . . .”

The first touch of Jaskier’s lips on his is like a breath of clean air after a storm, and Geralt can feel something that’s been knotted tight inside him for a long time unfurling itself. It doesn’t feel dangerous anymore, that buzz under his skin transmuting into a golden glow. He knows it’s not as simple as it feels—he can’t expect Jaskier to change him with a single kiss—but for the first time in a long while, something feels purely, unequivocally good, and he wants more of it.

In time, Jaskier’s hands creep up Geralt’s sides to his back, even as Geralt’s own hands drift down past Jaskier’s waist. When Jaskier’s hands slip into his hair, Geralt wrenches himself free with a shiver. “You’re going to undo all your hard work,” he says, teasingly.

“D’you really care?” Jaskier asks, and scratches his nails along Geralt’s scalp, wringing a whine from deep in Geralt’s chest that should be embarrassing but isn’t.  

“Not really,” Geralt gasps, his whole body pressing closer against Jaskier’s. “You can always do it again.”

Jaskier’s smile is wide as he bends to kiss him again. “That’s what I thought.”

[alittlefrenchtree]

I would like to ask you about what do do you think about Timmy and Zendaya relationship, I think they are a great co-stars! They have a similar vibe and that gen z actittude but as always when you paired two Young actors people tend to see so much 🤣

If they look pretty close or not that close and I'm like "people chill out, there is no sense to make fake/hipotetical situations or feelings"

I personally see more friendly vibes for both of them, nothing else 🤷🏾‍♀️

Hello there, trouble maker 👀I'm kidding, I'm kidding, I'm only going to say nice things. Almost.

To be honest, when they've arrived in Venice, I thought they barely knew each other. I thought they look like friendly co-workers with a lot of respect and admiration towards each others but best friend forever? not so much. I'm not sure I disagree with my past self just yet but I admit they've installed a cool thing between them for the short amount of time we saw them together.

For the large part of the promo they did together in Italy and France, I mostly agree with you : similar vibes and people who found complicity very easily. It might be shoved down our throats a little bit too much to my taste and a bit amplified for promo but the friendly bond is visible and I believe that the more they'll spend time together (hopefully with more Dune movies), the more their friendship will grow. But so far, I'm not really that interested by their joined content. Maybe it's because their vibes are too similar and it's usually not the kind of relationship I'm attracted to? Or because interviewers tend to lead them in conversations that aren't that interesting for me? I don't know but most of it isn't really for me, I think.

Still, I find it funny how there was a lot of screaming going on for Lily-Rose's presence on The King tour and yet Zendaya is in the exact same position for the Dune and suddenly there are not so many people to notice that someone is being pushed for promo not based on their role but on the attention the name will brought. But that's another whole discussion to have, isn't it? 😁

And again, it's obviously a good idea to push Zendaya for the attention she brings. It's more like I disagree on a philosophical level to what we should do in terms of promotion. I think when you're targeting an audience who isn't like literal kids of 8 years olds, it might be a good idea to consider them more like an adult audience than a teenage audience (not on explicit content obviously, they see enough on their own sadly, but just in terms on intellect and curiosity). Young people have proven on many occasions that, when they aren't treated like dumber than they are, they show interest to a lot of things. Like, I bet many people are only watching the content with Timothée and/or Zendaya, and instead or keeping them in this "young people for young people" bubble, it could be cool to pair Timothée with Rebecca or Zendaya with Javier or whatever and encourage this young audience to a message that is something more than just "look at how beautiful these two people are together". It might work less in terms of numbers but it would be a good thing to do, you know? But who cares about good when money exists, right? Sorry, sorry, I digress again.

And I might live under a rock (I do, I follow very little people of the fandom here and only a couple of updates accounts on others platforms and barely look at comments -- to preserve my sanity mostly), but I haven't noticed that much people seeing more than friendship between them. But for those who do, like you said it's something that is doomed to happen between young and beautiful people and it's not that important. Ship and let ship is still a good rule to live by 😘

[searchingwardrobes]

Self-Promo Sunday

This story has never been posted to tumblr before, but it’s still to this day my most popular one shot on Ao3 (by both hits and kudos). I still can hardly believe it because when I wrote it, I honestly didn’t think anyone would even read it, much less like it. There are certain expectations for one-night stand fics, and this fulfills none of them. Mainly, there’s no smut. I just loved the concept and had to write it, then was beyond thrilled that other people liked it too!

Summary: Ruby convinces Emma that the best way to finish off her birthday celebration is a one-night stand with the hot British guy at the bar. But, as usual, things never go as Emma plans.

Rating: T

Words: 4k and some change

Also on Ao3

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People talk about having a voice on either shoulder. Emma Swan has three. In the form of her three best friends. Ruby sees everything through the lens of fun. If it feels good do it, que-sera-sera and all of that. Sometimes Ruby helps Emma get perspective and lighten up. Other times she just gets her into trouble. Then there’s Mary Margaret, the hopeless romantic who thinks that out there somewhere is Emma’s true love, and once fate leads her to him, Emma’s life will just fall into place. Like what Mary Margaret has with David. Mary Margaret’s voice is usually the easiest for Emma to ignore. She stopped believing in fairy tale endings a long time ago. And then there’s Elsa, the practical one. She also just gets Emma because where Emma’s been called prickly, Elsa’s been called cold, so she understands Emma’s walls. But she also cuts to the chase and isn’t afraid to call Emma out on her crap. The only problem is when the words coming out of Elsa’s mouth sound like psycho-babble. So Emma’s constantly got three differing opinions chirping in her ear. Even when they aren’t present because she knows in every situation what each of them would say.

All three of them agreed, however, on the best way for Emma to spend her 28th birthday. So she left Henry with Granny and the four of them headed to New York. After a day of shopping and a Broadway show, they’re now in the hotel bar, and Ruby thinks the perfect way for Emma to cap off the day is with a no-strings attached night of passion with a good-looking guy.

“The last thing someone with Emma’s intimacy issues needs is casual sex, Ruby.”

That was cerebral Elsa, of course.

“Although,” puts in Mary Margaret, “striking up a conversation with someone wouldn’t be such a bad idea. You never know where it might lead.”

“Where could it possibly lead?” argues Elsa. “We’re on vacation. In a different state.”

“Why does it have to lead anywhere?” Ruby asks with a shrug, “I’m just trying to find a guy for her to bang. When was the last time you had sex anyway, Emma?”

Mary Margaret’s and Elsa’s pale cheeks both turn ten shades of red. Elsa is blunt but never crass, and Mary Margaret’s never known any man but David, high school sweethearts and all. Ruby does have a point, however, it’s been . . . well, Henry’s three, so let’s just say it’s been awhile.

“Besides,” Ruby continues, “if you don’t drag that guy over there upstairs, I will. I mean, damn, would you look at him?”

All three of them follow Ruby’s gaze to the bar, not really expecting to be blown away because, honestly, Ruby didn’t get the title man-eater for nothing. But then Emma sees the guy, and – hot damn! – Ruby was right. It’s been awhile since Emma’s jaw has dropped just looking at a guy, but it’s happening now.

“Whoa,” is all Mary Margaret can say. And that’s actually a lot. She usually only has eyes for David.

“I bet he’s an actor on a soap opera,” Ruby giggles, “with a pretty face like that?”

“I wouldn’t call him pretty,” Emma says hoarsely. He exudes too much raw masculinity to be called pretty, not to mention the scruff on his face that gives him an edge of mystery.

“I agree with Emma,” Elsa agrees, “I would guess he’s a musician. Look at those tight jeans and that leather jacket.”

“Oh, I’m looking alright,” Ruby purrs.

The guy glances their way (because he feels their eyes boring into him, most likely), and they all hurriedly look away, except for Ruby who grins wolfishly at him and wiggles her fingers in greeting. But the glance was enough for Emma to see how bright blue his eyes are.

“God, Emma, did you see those eyes?” Ruby asks as she continues to ogle the guy. She smoothes out her skirt and moves to stand. “I’m not letting that man candy go to waste, Emma.”

Emma clamps her hand down on Ruby’s arm. “Now wait just one second. He’s mine.”

Ruby smirks at her in triumph while Mary Margaret encourages her to talk to him and get to know him while Elsa keeps admonishing that the whole thing’s a bad idea. Emma knocks back one more shot, but not to get her tipsy. She needs to have her faculties to read the guy; she’s not stupid. She just needs a shot of liquid courage. Because Ruby’s right – it’s been awhile.

The guy’s not stupid either, he glances over her shoulder when Emma approaches him. He knows full well they were checking him out. But his eyes also rake over her approvingly, and it’s plain as day he’s happy that she approached him. When he opens his mouth, a British accent comes out. The next chance she gets, she glances back over at Ruby and mouths, “Oh. My. God.” Then she composes herself, smooths out her hair, and dials up the flirting. Their banter is laced with innuendo and contains absolutely no personal content, which is exactly how Emma likes her one night stands. It only takes one more drink for him to have her pressed against the wall in the elevator. God, he’s a good kisser!

They giggle and stumble down the hall to Emma’s room, unable to keep their hands off each other. The door has barely shut behind them when he has her on the bed, trailing open-mouthed kisses down her neck.

Emma doesn’t know exactly what happens. One minute she’s moaning as he kisses along her décolletage, and the next he’s sliding the zipper down the side of her too-tight dress and the action is like a bucket of cold water being dumped on her. He gasps and pulls away from her, feeling it too. They both look at each other with wide, panicked eyes and then speak simultaneously.

“I can’t do this.”

“I can’t do this.”

He groans and rolls over onto the bed, flinging his arm across his face. They’re both lying there panting as their heart rates work to get back to a normal rhythm. When they speak again, it’s at the exact same time.

“I have a son.”

“I have a daughter.”

And then they’re both laughing at the absurdity of the situation. They both roll over to face each other, and Emma realizes neither of them are as drunk as they had been pretending to be. Emma props her head on her hand.

“I used to do this all the time. But then I had Henry, and well . . .he’s three.”

He smiles back at her in understanding. “I used to do this all the time, too. But then I met my wife, and then she died, and now it’s just me and Haley . . . she’s five.”

He stares at her for a moment, then sighs and stands up. “Well, I’ll be going then.” He says it in such a sad, resigned voice that it breaks Emma’s heart a little. He picks his jacket up off the floor where Emma had pushed it off his shoulders. But before he can put it back on and walk out the door, Emma grabs his hand. She’s hearing Mary Margaret in her head. You understand each other! That’s got to mean something.

“You don’t have to go,” she tells him. “We could watch TV, get room service.” Emma bites her lip, nervous she’s pushed too far.

“Seriously? Because usually when I mention my dead wife and my daughter, women are halfway out the door.”

Emma shrugs and gives him a smile, “Men usually do the same when I mention my son. Please stay. I want you to.”

“Okay then,” he says, smiling so brightly she can now see he has dimples. He tosses his jacket on the back of a chair. “My name’s Killian, by the way. Killian Jones.”

“Emma Swan.”

*************************************************************

Emma wakes up the next morning in Killian’s arms, but not because they changed their minds about the sex. They’re both still fully clothed. Okay, maybe not fully. Killian’s in only his boxers and his white v-necked undershirt, and Emma is in a t-shirt and yoga pants. Still, they only did two things last night – well, three if you count eating way too much candy from the mini-bar, and sex wasn’t one of them.

The first was just talk; they never did turn on the TV. Emma would have kicked him out or tackled him in exchange for mindless sex instead if it hadn’t been for Elsa’s practical voice in her head. This is good, Emma. This is healthy. Amazingly, she told him all about her years growing up in foster care. Far more than she had ever told anyone else. But it’s because Killian, it turns out, is an orphan too and has his own tragic stories to tell. At age 13 his brother Liam became old enough to be his guardian, and then he had some semblance of a family.

She tells him how she started sleeping around at fifteen, craving intimacy while fearing it at the same time. She admits that she has no idea who Henry’s father is; even if she could narrow down the guy, she wouldn’t know his name. Her eyes drop to the mattress at that, but Killian tilts her chin up to look at him. She sees in his eyes that he understands.

He tells Emma how he idolized his brother. So much so that he followed him into the Navy, only to lose him. It’s then that he went off the deep end with liquor and women. He was in a band, too, so one-night stands had been easy to come by. Milah, his wife, owned a pub where his band played frequently. Even though she watched him go home with different women every night, she still fell madly in love with him, and he with her. When Milah got pregnant, he gave up the band, but they were so blissfully happy. Haley was only a year old when Milah got sick – stage five breast cancer. Six months later, Milah was gone and Killian was alone with an 18 month old baby.

“Haley’s my whole world,” he tells her then, and Emma looks up at him with tenderness in her eyes.

“And Henry is mine.”

Killian leans down and kisses her then, and it’s the most tender kiss Emma has ever known.

So here they are, morning, and Emma is curled up against him, her head on his chest. She thinks he’s still asleep until his hand starts rubbing her arm. Killian’s touch has heat that lights her on fire from the inside, which reminds her of the other thing they did last night: make out like a couple of teenagers. Even though he can’t see her face right now, she blushes as she remembers the moans just light petting had elicited from her. It’s then that reality hits Emma like a Mac truck: what they shared last night was far more intimate than mere sex would have been. She can hear Elsa’s voice in her head: Queue the panic. And sure enough, it comes. Emma takes a few deep breaths before slipping as calmly as she can from his embrace. He’s leaving for London this morning. She’s leaving for Storybrooke. It’s not like this can go anywhere, but she still doesn’t want to hurt his feelings.

“Hey,” he says sleepily, grabbing her hand as she eases from the bed, “how about some breakfast.”

“Oh, um, I’m actually meeting my friends for breakfast,” Emma explains as she shrugs into a hoodie. She stands there regarding him awkwardly, tucking her hair behind her ears and crossing her arms across her chest. It isn’t a lie; she really is supposed to meet the others at nine before driving back to Storybrooke.

“Okay,” Killian replies easily as he stands and pulls his jeans back on. He then reaches for the hotel pad of paper and pen on the bedside table and jots something down on it. He rips off the top sheet and hands it to her.

“My contact information,” he explains with a lopsided grin. His gaze is both gentle and sincere as he continues in a softer voice, “I really like you, Emma. Since we didn’t do anything stupid, I’m hoping we can stay in touch. I mean, this wasn’t just a one-time thing. Not for me, at least.”

Emma gives him a tentative smile as she takes the piece of paper and crams it unceremoniously into the pocket of her hoodie. Killian’s gaze follows her movement, and the light in his eyes dims.

“Well,” he says, scratching behind his ear, “I’ll take my leave, then.”

He shrugs into his shirt without buttoning it up, then heads for the door with his jacket and shoes still in his hand. Emma lets her head fall backward in frustration at herself.

“Killian, wait,” Emma calls after him.

He turns in the doorway, and Emma just stands there, unsure of what exactly she can say. Finally, when he raises his eyebrows at her in confusion, she decides that if she’s never going to see him again, at least she can get one last kiss. So she grabs the gaping lapels of his unbuttoned shirt and hauls him in. He gasps in shock at first, dropping his jacket and shoes with a thud. But he quickly catches up, kissing her back thoroughly until both their lips are swollen. She thinks again that he’s the most fantastic kisser she’s ever met.

When they finally part, breathless, Killian rests his forehead against hers and thumbs the dimple in her chin. “I could fall in love with you, Emma Swan,” he whispers, his eyes still closed. He opens them before Emma can look away and she feels as if she’ll drown in the deep blue of those eyes. He traces her cheek with his fingertips, “But you won’t let me, will you? You’re going to throw away my contact information, aren’t you?”

Killian’s hand drops away and he sighs as Emma remains silent. He bends to retrieve his things, and with a whispered good-bye, walks away from her door.

“I could fall in love with you too, Killian,” she whispers to his retreating form.

But she doubts he heard her.

********************************************************

“So he spent the night in your room – the entire night – but you didn’t sleep with him?” Ruby hisses across the table, half-eaten bagel still in her hand.

“Well, technically, we slept,” Emma responds wryly.

“But no sex? Seriously?” Ruby tears a piece from her bagel violently, but pauses before putting the piece in her mouth as a revelation seems to hit her, “Wait, is he gay?”

“No, he is definitely not gay,” Emma states emphatically, feeling infantile when she blushes.

“So what did you do all night?” Ruby asks incredulously.

“We talked mostly,” Emma says with a shrug, “and . . . other things.”

“What other things?” Elsa asks.

“God, Elsa,” Emma says with a roll of her eyes, “do I have to spell it out for you? We made out.”

Ruby reaches for the collar of Emma’s button-down flannel shirt, exposing the black and blue mark on her neck. “A hickey!” Ruby exults, “He gave her a hickey!”

“Quiet down, Rubes,” Emma hisses as she re-adjusts her collar, “what is this, high school?”

“So what did you guys talk about?” Mary Margaret asks eagerly. Only she would be more interested in the conversation.

Emma shrugs again as she spreads jam on a piece of toast, “You know, just stuff. Our childhoods. Our kids. We talked a lot about our kids.”

“He has kids?” asks Ruby with a wrinkled nose.

“Yes, Ruby,” Emma snaps, “kids. Which is probably why we thought twice about having sex with someone we just met.”

Ruby’s eyes grow large, “How many does he have?”

Emma drops her knife with a clatter, frustrated at Ruby’s inquisition, “Just one. A five year old daughter. His wife died three and a half years ago of cancer.”

“Oh, Emma,” Mary Margaret breathes, “he sounds wonderful! And it’s so romantic that you stayed up all night just kissing and talking. What a gentleman! I hope you’ll stay in touch.”

Emma shakes her head, “He wanted to. Gave me his information. But I threw it away.”

Mary Margaret gasps in shock, and even Ruby thinks she’s crazy, but Elsa is the cold voice of reason.

“I think Emma is wise to break it off now. He’s a grieving widower with a child. Emma has a child of her own. Not to mention that long-distance relationships never work.”

“What was he doing in New York?” Mary Margaret asks, ignoring Elsa’s cold logic.

“A job interview,” Emma answers, “he didn’t really get into the details.”

“See,” Mary Margaret tells Elsa smugly.

“See what?” Elsa scoffs with a roll of her eyes. “It’s still long-distance. Emma needs to use her head.”

“She needs to follow her heart,” argues Mary Margaret.

“I was thinking of an organ a little farther south,” quips Ruby.

“And I would appreciate you all dropping the entire subject,” Emma huffs in frustration.

“Emma,” Mary Margaret whispers urgently, “there he is!”

Emma glances behind her, and sure enough, Killian is sitting at a table on the other side of the room. He’s perusing the menu, so he hasn’t noticed her yet. Emma quickly turns back around.

“Yep,” Ruby says with a nod, “just as hot as I remembered.”

Elsa narrows her eyes as she takes him in, “Actually, Emma, on second thought, maybe using your head in this situation isn’t the best course of action.”

Mary Margaret nudges Emma’s arm, “Go on, go talk to him. Give him your number!”

Emma stands quickly, hands shaking, and tosses some bills onto the table. “That should cover my order. I’ll see you all in Storybrooke.”

Emma then walks as quickly as she can for the hotel exit, ignoring her friends protests. She purposely keeps her head forward, not wanting to see the look of hurt in Killian’s eyes as she walks away. Or the look of indifference.

She isn’t sure which would be worse. Either way, it’s why she doesn’t turn around.

************************************************************

A week later, Emma is enjoying her favorite lunch of grilled cheese and onion rings at Granny’s. The buzz around town is that Mayor Mills finally hired a new harbor master, and whoever it is just rolled into town in a black extended cab truck with just a few suitcases and boxes in the back. The type of vehicle combined with the small amount of personal effects has every single woman in town speculating that it’s a bachelor. Emma just rolls her eyes at the gossip. The only thing she cares about is how the harbor master does his or her job, since it directly affects hers as sheriff.

Emma is licking the last drop of cheese from her pinkie finger when a little girl scrambles onto the stool next to her. She’s wearing a tunic shirt covered in daisies over a pair of yellow leggings. Disney princess shoes adorn her feet, the kind that light up when you walk. She has to kneel on the stool so she can reach the counter.

“One chocolate milkshake please,” the little girl tells Granny in an adorable British accent.

Emma and Granny both raise their eyes, looking around the diner for the child’s parents. Emma catches Granny’s eye, and the older woman nods.

“You’re a little young to be ordering all by yourself,” Emma says gently, tipping her head so she can look the child in the eye. “How old are you, kid?”

“Would you believe ten?”

Emma suppresses a chuckle and shakes her head.

“Eight?” the child sighs as Emma once again shakes her head. “Okay, I’m five.”

Emma nods. She wants to get information, and she knows the best way to do that is to play it cool, “So where are your parents?”

The little girl sighs, bites her lip, and then leans closer to Emma, “Okay, see, my dad said we would come here for lunch today. I want a milkshake, but Dad always says no. That I have to eat my lunch first. But I don’t want lunch. Can’t the milkshake be my lunch?”

"So you got here early so you could have the milkshake before he saw you.”

The little girl’s face brightens, and when she smiles dimples appear on her freckled cheeks. “Exactly!”

Emma leans forward, “The problem is, I’m a mom, so I’m not going to let you either.”

The little girl scowls and crosses her arms, “But you’re not my mum.”

“But you do need money, kid,” Granny tells the child gruffly.

The little girl swivels on her stool to face Granny, reaching smugly into the pocket of her tunic. She pulls out a ten dollar bill with a flourish and smacks it down onto the counter. “Will that cover it?”

Emma’s hand flies to her mouth as she suppresses her laughter. This kid is the most precocious, sassy little thing she’s ever seen. Once Emma has composed herself, she leans over the counter towards the child and speaks to her sternly. “You know what else I am besides a mom, kid? The sheriff of this town.” The little girl’s eyes grow large. “Where did you get that money?”

The child quirks one dark eyebrow and tilts her chin defiantly. “My allowance.”

“I’m gonna let you in on a little secret, kid. I have this gift – we’ll call it a super power – I can tell when people are lying to me. So I’ll ask you again. Where’d you get the money?”

The little girl sighs and lowers her head, “My dad’s wallet.”

“What’s your name, kid?”

“Haley.”

Emma feels as if the room is suddenly spinning. She blinks and looks the little girl over. Dark hair, bright blue eyes, British accent. It couldn’t be . . .

“Haley Elizabeth Jones!” another British voice calls out from the door of the diner. Emma’s jaw drops as Killian Jones himself rushes towards her. But he doesn’t even see Emma, too intent on his little girl who he hugs tightly to his chest. “Bloody hell, lass, you just took ten years off my life! Never, never, wander away like that!”

“I’m sorry, Daddy,” Haley mumbles against Killian’s neck as she throws her little arms around him. Killian pulls away and looks her over, running a hand over his little girl’s hair and over her shoulder as if she might be hurt. Haley sheepishly takes the ten dollar bill and hands it to him. “I took the money from your wallet, too. I’m sorry. The sheriff lady caught me.”

Killian finally turns towards Emma then and blinks rapidly as if he’s seen a ghost. “Swan?”

“Killian,” Emma breathes, her hand fluttering to the pale mark still on her neck. The way they’re grinning at each other like idiots and blushing like fools, you would think they had actually had sex. “What are you – what are you doing here?”

“I got the job,” he explains, “the one I was telling you about.”

“You mean, you’re the new harbor master?” Killian nods and Emma shakes her head in confusion. “But your interview was in New York.”

“Mayor Mills had some business there anyway, and she thought travel would be easier for me from London. I thought the change would be good for Haley. Living in a small town and all.”

They just stand there staring at each other until Haley pipes up. “The sheriff says she’s a mum too, Daddy,” Haley takes Emma’s hands in hers and looks at them intently. “But she doesn’t have a wedding ring. Are you married, sheriff lady?”

“No, sweetie,” Emma says with a mirthful smile, “I’m not married.”

“That’s great! My daddy isn’t married either, and I need a mum!”

“Okaaaay,” Killian chuckles nervously as he scoops Haley up into his arms. He turns to Emma blushing furiously, “I’m gonna get this lass home. And then I’m gonna dig myself a really deep hole and crawl into it.”

He scratches behind his ear with his free hand as he turns towards the door, still carrying Haley. Mary Margaret’s voice is suddenly in Emma’s head, chirping on about fate and destiny, which propels Emma off her stool.

“Killian, wait.”

He turns towards her, that lopsided grin of his on his face.

“I know how it is unpacking. I was thinking Henry and I could stop by later with a couple of pizzas.”

“I appreciate that, Ms. Swan. That’s very hospitable of you.”

Okay, she’s going to have to be far more direct. “I was hoping Henry and I could eat with the two of you. We could consider it our second unconventional date.”

His eyes crinkle at the corners as his smile widens. “Really?”

“Yeah,” Emma says, smiling back, “this thing we started; may as well see where it goes, right?”

Hope sparkles in Killian’s eyes. “Right. See you tonight, Swan.”

Behind the counter, Granny can’t hold her laughter back any longer when Haley pumps her little fist into the air and crows, “YES! I’m getting a mum!”

It turns out the little girl was right. Eight months later, Haley Jones has a mum and Henry Swan Jones has a dad. Turns out Mary Margaret was right all along: there’s nothing hopeless about being a romantic.

[antisocial-af]

Day 16: Ragnor/Catarina

Title: Winding Down

25 Days of Pairings: Day 16 Ragnor/Catarina

Promo:

If you are interested in Rare Pairs, think about joining Shadowhunters Rare Pair Gift Exchange.  I’ve already sent in my form! Sign-ups End on December 19th so don’t miss your chance and don’t be afraid to be as specific as you want on the forms!

Rating: G

Wordcount: 800

No Major Archive Warnings

SFW, Domestic Fluff, Reminiscing.

Summary:

Ragnor and Catarina both return home from the Lightwood-Bane Holiday Party.

Click Here to Read on Ao3

Story:

Ragnor passed through the portal, straight into their shared cottage first followed closely by Catarina. 

“I can’t believe we stayed till 2 am,” Ragnor grumbled as he started to pull off his thick scarf. “I thought I only agreed to go for a few hours.” 

“Don’t act like you didn’t enjoy yourself,” Catarina playfully chided after him. She maneuvered further into their home, flicking her magic towards the fireplace to warm the place. “If I remember correctly, you finally got over your silly fear of Lightwoods and had a few drinks with Alec and his sister.” 

“The current generation of Lightwoods are tamed compared to the previous feral lot,” Ragnor responded, hanging up his coat. He made his way to the warming couch and finally relaxed. “Still need to watch that, Max, though.” 

“Blueberry? His magic sparks won’t harm anyone yet,” Catarina waved her boyfriend’s silly thoughts away and joined him on the couch. “Don’t tell me you are afraid of a baby now, Ragnor?” 

“No, not Bane’s cute spawn. I’m talking about the younger brother,” Ragnor curled his arms around Catarina, pulling her close. “I saw him around the party and almost thought I was back in my teaching days in the Academy.” 

“I heard from Magnus that he got in trouble once for mixing up the nourishment and fire runes,” Catarina teased him. She knew all of the stories from Ragnor’s ‘traumatic’ days with Christopher Lightwood. “You might be onto something there, babe.” 

Ragnor narrowed his eyes at his lover and huffed before he spoke, “Keep it up, and you will be explaining to your dear old friend why I can’t attend any more of his parties, Cat.” 

Catarina laughed and looked back to the small green pout forming on Rangor’s lips. 

“What about the Herondales? I would say they’ve changed a bit, but truthfully I hope they never do,” Catarina stated as she leaned back to reach Ragnor’s cheek and laid a soft kiss. “But must you really challenge every Herondale to a series of increasingly dangerous bets? I swear you were giving poor Alec a heart attack with the things you and Jace were betting.”

“You can hardly take my fun away,” Ragnor replied, finding a spot on Catarina’s shoulder to rest his head. “I simply make a bet I can’t be blamed that they never say no to them or have no self-control.” 

Ragnor wrinkled his nose when Cat kissed it and returned the gesture by kissing her cheek lightly.

“Face it, you think Magnus’ lot of Shadowhunters are nice,” Catarina tiredly mumbled. The edges of her glamour were slightly flickering, revealing glimpses of white hair. “ and you enjoy their company.” 

Ragnor caught the stutter in Catarina’s glamour on her hair and shook his head with a smile before replying, “Perhaps what they say is true and time has made me wise, or possibly I’ve become far too emotionally scarred by their lot to be off-put by them.”

Catarina felt Ragnor’s soft tugs at her hair and lightly chuckled as she released the glamour over it. Caterina had almost forgotten she had entertained Max and Rafe with some simple glamour spells while Alec and Magnus set up. 

“How many times now have I told you not to overuse your magic?” Ragnor sighed as he continued to play with the now long white locks. “You could’ve just summoned them toys instead, you know.”

Catarina rolled her eyes as she turned within Ragnor’s hold to face him, her back warmed by the fireplace as they held each other close. 

“That would be the 165th time this year, I believe, and there is no harm in showing them some magic; they seemed delighted by it,” she smiled knowing how this conversation went.” you can’t expect me to say no to them.” 

“I’m unsure if I’m endeared or insulted by you keeping count, and still you do not listen” Ragnor shook his head, swiftly standing up and sweeping Cat from her feet and into his arms. He watched her blue skin flickering in the shadows from the fireplace. “Are you ever going to heed my warnings?” 

“Let me down!” Catarina shouted, startled. She wrapped her arms around Ragnor’s neck to stable herself in his arms. “I am not a child, Ragnor!” 

“No,” Ragnor simply replied as he smirked down at his love. “I have no intentions of placing you down since you don’t find it fit to listen to me.” Ragnor turned to the fireplace and placed a protective ward over it to ensure the fireplace would not spread in their absence. 

Catarina sighed and smiled, curling in against Ragnor's chest as she rested in his arms, “you are insufferable sometimes, but I love you Ragnor” 

“Let’s head to bed, my dear,” Ragnor stated, beginning to carry off Catarina. 

[kingjinxii]

Now that I can breathe again, let’s talk about P5R’s trailer!

Now that my hype is out of the way, I want to put my thoughts on the trailer down coherently.

So, let’s jump right in!

The trailer starts with Akira in the interrogation room, being confronted by Goro, aka the traitor. This is very reminiscent of the E3 2016 trailer for vanilla P5, but Sae is not present, and the questions being asked are more personal than a simple interrogation.

Goro: You think you know it all. You think that sparing you here is going to make me happy? I have no need for such pity. I have no need for such hesitation!

Now, this is the iconic scene where Goro “kills” the protagonist. And honestly, a lot of people had problems with it, Goro fans and Anti-Goros alike. The angry and vindictive way he killed Akira seemed...bizarrely out of character if he’s meant to seem sympathetic, and seemed out of touch with the “true self” we see later on Shido’s ship.

Here, he seems conflicted, he says he has “no need for hesitation” but he never hesitated in vanilla P5, so why call attention to it here?

I’ll get more into it later.

Following that scene, we find ourselves back in a frozen Shibuya crossing, just like when Akira first received the Metaverse app, and saw Arsene. While in that first scene, he seemed...apathetic if a bit confused, in this one, he’s outright scared, and worried.

That doesn’t go away when the screen lights up behind him.

Mysterious Voice: I...stole a dream.

It sounds like everyone’s new boo Kasumi has some secrets she’s hiding. This appears to be a late game Palace, possibly replacing the Bottom of Mementos as the December Palace.

Dreams and ideal versions of people keep popping up in all the promo imagery. But let’s continue on.

We get a previous of our stylish new OP featuring (nearly) everyone. It’s very reminiscent of comic books, very flashy and colorful.

Also it’s a bop.

Kichijoji opens up! It’s famous for its shops. Inokashira Park, a place already in the game, is also in Kichijoji.

Palace exploration has been expanded. We have a grappling hook now, allowing us to move at a Z axis! No more just sneaking around.

What I really hope this means is a lack of “Safe Room skips”, aka just skipping to your last Safe Room before the final boss. Maybe this time, you’ll really have to secure a route without the use of safe rooms.

The dialogue is much more interesting though.

Futaba: With this you can...rewrite cognition?

Makoto: Can we really do that?

Cognitive Pscience was brought up in Futaba’s Palace. It’s what her mother, Wakaba, was researching. However, it never actually affected anything, other that Shido learning about the Metaverse. It looks like it will play a bigger role in the story of Royal.

Kamoshida: Didn’t I tell you already? This school is full of students you’d be better off turning a blind eye to.

Morgana: Don’t you think something’s off here?

In practice, these are probably two unrelated pieces of dialogue referring to 1. Kamoshida being a dick and telling you to stay out of trouble, and 2. a Palace puzzle. But the fact they are used against this shot of Kasumi has me thinking that she isn’t all she appears to be.

The current theory is that she is like Marie from P4 Golden, some sort of supernatural entity spying on us in the real world.

But that’s a post for another time.

FINALLY these kids are getting THERAPY.

Also he’s cute.

Not much to say here, but let me touch on Ann’s line.

Ann: Lately, I’ve been feeling like someone’s watching me.

Ann: Like someone’s tailing you?

I’m fairly certain these two lined are unrelated. I think the first is referring to Yusuke’s stalking, and the second referring to Makoto’s stalking the protagonist or possible Kasumi or Goro stalking. Nothing new to note.

Futaba finally going to get her AOA!

Combo attacks from P4 are back! Haru/Morgana and Ryuji/Makoto are in the trailer. My money is on Ann/Yusuke having one, and possible Kasumi/Goro too

Yu never got one, so I’m assuming it’ll be the same with Joker.

Kasumi gets some dialogue!

Kasumi: Senpai, are you continuing on as Phantom Thieves? Wouldn’t it be best to stay out of trouble?

I’m going to go out on a limb and suggest that Kasumi knows the protagonist is a Phantom Thief early. Like, possibly even Mishima early (as in Rank 1 Confidant). She showed opposition to the Thieves before, so I wouldn’t put it past Atlus to have her Confidant be debates between you and her on your methods.

This staticky figure is shown. I’m guessing it’s Kasumi, as this appears to be the same screen as was in Shibuya. The shape is indistinct though.

More school events, and Makoto and Haru are introduced early. Makoto even has a new portrait! To be honest, I prefer her old one, but maybe it will grow on me.

I’m worried the game will be too text-heavy though. I had a major problem with how much reading was in vanilla P5, especially conversations about nothing, that ended up leading to you being unable to go out at night. I hope let you go out after story events now.

Kasumi is possibly being abused/hurt by this man, but I’m unsure. We’ll need more information.

This cutscene scares me. She looks like she’s been betrayed. Possibly by the protagonist being a Phantom Thief? I don’t know.

“Self-suggestion” is also mentioned here. Maybe more Cog-Psci stuff?

New hangout: Penguin Sniper! Home of darts and billiards. Inviting your friends here might raise your relationship with them, and maybe raise your stats? We’ll see.

Phantom Thief Kasumi confirmed! Her HP and SP pool has me thinking she’ll be a primarily physical attacker, which is an interesting thought.

I love her Thief outfit. She’s wearing a leotard, which emphasizes her skill as a dancer and gymnast.

Place your bets for her Thief name. Maybe Princess or Rose?

Yusuke has a brief line.

Yusuke: I ran away. Forgive me.

I’m thinking this may be added dialogue about Madarame, but I’m uncertain. It ties into another point I’ll discuss later though.

Here’s the more spoilery part of the trailer!

Take a look at the lower right corner. Do those stripes look familiar?

It seems that Goro is alive and well, helping out the Phantom Thieves with Loki as Black Mask!

SO why did he hesitate in the interrogation room?

It’s because he genuinely cares for the Thieves and Akira. My prediction is he spares Akira, and joins there, instead of being a boss fight.

We’re getting a new Palace. That’s obvious. In vanilla P5′s opening, all the sins are overlaid over Morgana.

They are

Acedia - Sloth (The People’s Mementos)

Avaritia - Greed (Okumura Spaceport)

Gula - Gluttony (Kaneshiro’s Bank)

Luxuria - Lust (Kamoshida’s Castle)

Invidia - Envy (Sae’s Casino)

Ira - Wrath (Futaba’s Pyramid)

Superbia - Pride (Shido’s Ship)

Irritum - Vanity (Madarame’s Museum)

However the last one, Cavum or Emptiness, goes unused.

This Palace must be Cavum.

The question is whose Palace is it.

Old theories had it be Goro’s, but considering he’s in the Monamobile, I’m guessing it’s Kasumi’s.

Kasumi a cute!!

Also, Ryuji.

Ryuji: What’s right and what’s wrong...You have to decide that for yourself. Don’t just run away to keep yourself safe.

See, I told you that quote would fit in later!

I’m going to take a guess at P5R’s theme: Escapism.

Vanilla P5 is all about standing up for what you believe. Royal is going to tell you why you need to do it, instead of indulging in your own fantasies to escape your reality.

Finally, Joker drops from a great height towards the ground. Or those weird stairs.

I’m getting serious Ryuji sacrifice vibes here. If Joker survives this, whatever he’s dropping down to face, he’ll have to face alone.

No more running.

So there you have it! My coherent thoughts on the P5R trailer? What do you think? Do you have your own opinions and observations? Let me know!

[seawolvesanddragons]

Anne With An E S3 E1 Thoughts: (Spoilers!)

Oh my god this season is off to such a great start. I’m simultaneously elated that I don’t have to wait till January and distraught that I have to wait a week in between episodes. 

In no particular order: 

-Most of the promo was from this episode, meaning we jumped right in with Ka’Kwet and Anne and I am LIVING for it, I really hope we see more of her and her tribe later on this season. Their whole interaction was just so wholesome? “They are the people I am like, so I am connected to them” man jumping right in with this season’s theme, I LOVE it. I bet that whole thing about needing more food and the train and the hunters will come back later. 

-Billy is still an ass. Nobody is surprised. What is more surprising is that Josie Pye is on friendlier terms with all the girls, including Anne (she was at the Birthday Party) and also that when Billy sprays Josie with ice, Anne laughs. I guess with such a small town you can’t hold grudges over everything? 

-”You can’t even add” god bless Jane Andrews 

-Every season has such gorgeous openings and this was no exception, seeing Anne gallop through the woods was heartstopping. 

-BASH AND MARY HAVE A BABY GIRL I REPEAT BASH AND MARY HAVE A BABY GIRL AAHHHHHHH

-THAT GILBERT KISSES ON THE HEAD AND BASH BABY SPEAKS TOO 

-Also first time we ever have Gilbert and Anne interacting in the first episode and I am here for it. 

-The entire “notice board” scene between Anne and Gilbert I was just like “ANNe NO sweetheart no dear darling no no no baby child no please just stop oh god no sweetie stop” 

-Least Gilbert is no longer in fucking denial.  -”Tillie has a two boy problem” “That’s no problem” fucking iconic legend Tillie out here slaying 

-Oh Charlie. Its not gonna happen. But points for trying 

-Moody shot up but is still so very Moody like. 

-Diana fucking SLAYING with her first wave feminism “my education is suffering” and blasting her piano to make sure she could celebrate with Anne yes girl get your goals. Don’t forget you have a rich aunt who would totally support you going against your parents wishes! 

-Diana and Anne’s friendship is still the purest thing. 

-Literally everytime I see Diana and Anne interact I am torn between lesbian Diana/Anne, Anne/Gilbert, and solo lesbian Diana. 

-JERRY. Jerry READING. Jerry playing along with Diana’s prank while staring at her with heart eyes. Jerry being crazy tall now. Just. everything. 

-Now I’m also torn between Lesbian!Diana and Jerry/Diana. Damn it. 

-Matthew Cuthbert is a sweetheart and I would die for him 

-Ms Stacy continues to be her awesome self (I like her a lot better now than I did when she was first introduced) and I am loving the tie. Also hope to see more of her and Rachel interacting. 

-Ms Stacy 100 percent ships different students. You can totally see it when she looks up from grading and smiles at them. 

-That printing press is absolutely going to be a “surprise tool that will help us later on!” Like, its coming back. Its gonna. 

-The notice board will probably show up again as well. 

-I’ve seen a lot of flack on Gilbert for just walking away when Anne was trying to figure out if he did like her via his eyes (child Cole told you this LAST SEASON) but honestly? The boy not 7 hours prior thought the love of his life was confessing to him only to find out she was trying to set him up with her friend. Its probably hard for him to be around her right now. Can’t WAIT to see what happens next episode with the train

- that being said, it looks like Gilbert and Anne are both the heads of newspaper and I want to see that come up some more. 

-Also, props to Gilbert for being the only one who seems to foresee what will happen when Ms Stacy calls on Anne to present her lineage. Look at his body language, he knows this is probably difficult. Props also to Ms Stacy for immediately apologizing in private. 

-Bash and Mary are adorable let them have all the happiness and no more trouble, please. Also I need more of Bash just dragging Gilbert. 

-Marilla and Mary are great buddies and I love it. Delphine is adorable. 

-Marilla and Bash totally gossip about their charges. She’s probably writing a note to slip him later right now, about how Anne is going to ask Gilbert if she can join him at the train station. Meanwhile, Bash is eavesdropping on Gilbert angrily doing his chores while muttering about notice boards and Ruby and Anne and taking note to share all of this with Marilla later. 

-THAT CHARM BRACELET OMG. EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS SCENE. 

-Matthew reading the farmers almanac upside down omg. Marilla giggling.  

-Oh no Marilla Anne would never leave you no no no my heart is breaking for them. 

-That fifty pence is also going to come back later on in the season. Calling it now. 

-COLE IS BACK NEXT EPISODE YESSSSSS 

[thesportssoundoff]

“I....Man I dunno, dudes.” The UFC on ESPN 5 Preview

Joey

July 29th

To be honest, I don't know. Really don't to be honest with ya folks. On paper this card is utterly unappealing. I wouldn't call it bad (we saw bad last week) but I'd call it an unappealing collection of names and faces in weirdo fights designed to fill spots on an afternoon main card. There in lies the rub though; it's an afternoon card on ESPN. It's here to kill some time, try something new and give us some fights on "free" TV. It's not awful but it's also nothing special either. This card is nondescript in a string of nondescript events leading to a much more appealing late August slate. We're gonna get there, people. Our headliner is a great fight in terms of names and rankings but a potentially stinky matchup with Colby Covington vs Robbie Lawler at the top of the bill. Under that you have three really fun on paper lightweight fights that border on being somewhat inconsequential as Jim Miller vs Clay Guida, Dong Hyun Ma vs Scott Holtzman and Joakim Silva vs Nasrat Haqparast aren't going to change your top 15 around any but will at least be damn fun. Throw in some kinda intriguing fights at 125 for both men and women and ya got something not offensive but not worth hustling to your TV to catch live.

Fights: 12

Debuts: Cole Williams, Melinda Granger, Hannah Goldy

Fight Changes/Injury Cancellations: 3 (Volkan Oezdemir vs Ilir Latifi CANCELLED/Zelim Imadaev OUT, Mickey Gall IN vs Salim Touhari/Ramazan Emeev OUT, Cole Williams IN vs Claudio Silva)

Headliners (fighters who have either main evented or co-main evented shows in the UFC): 5 (Jim Miller, Clay Guida, Robbie Lawler, Colby Covington, Mickey Gall)

Fighters On Losing Streaks in the UFC: 3 (Robbie Lawler, Lucie Pudilova, Salim Touhari)

Fighters On Winning Streaks in the UFC: 4 (Colby Covington, Nasrat Haqparast, Claudio Silva, Matt Schnell)

Main Card Record Since Jan 1st 2017 (in the UFC):  24-18

Colby Covington- 3-0 Robbie Lawler- 1-2 Jim Miller- 2-5 Clay Guida- 3-1 Nasrat Haqparast- 2-1 Joakim Silva- 2-1 Trevin Giles- 2-1 Gerald Meerschaert- 3-3 Scott Holtzman- 3-1 Dong Hyun Ma- 2-1 Darko Stosic- 1-1 Kennedy Nzechukwu- 0-1

Fights By Weight Class (yearly number here):

Lightweight- 3 (48) Women’s Flyweight- 3 (24) Welterweight- 3 (44) Light Heavyweight- 1 (30) Flyweight- 1 (10) Middleweight- 1 (25)

Featherweight-   (37) Women’s Featherweight- (7) Heavyweight- (22) Bantamweight- (39) Women’s Bantamweight- (13) Women’s Strawweight- (19)

2019 Number Tracker

Debuting Fighters (20-44)- Cole Williams, Melinda Granger, Hannah Goldy

Short Notice Fighters (20-27)- Cole Williams, Mickey Gall

Second Fight (42-20)- Kennedy Nzechukwu, Jordan Espinosa

Cage Corrosion (Fighters who have not fought within a year of the date of the fight) (15-28)- Colby Covington, Lauren Murphy

Undefeated Fighters (25-29)- Miranda Granger, Hannah Goldy

Fighters with at least four fights in the UFC with 0 wins over competition still in the organization (9-8)-

Weight Class Jumpers (Fighters competing outside of the weight class of their last fight even if they’re returning BACK to their “normal weight class”) (23-17)-  Matt Schnell

Twelve Precarious Ponderings

1- Colby Covington's "Flying too close to the wings of pastrami" run has been something to take in over the past two years in the UFC. Covington embraced a Chael Sonnen run as a heel, carving up a bit of a path of solid yet unenthusiastic decisions before really hitting his stride both verbally and in actuality when he fought Demian Maia. He beat Maia after dropping the first round (in my estimation of course) and then cut a promo on Brazil that was basically his twitter rantings done live on air. The follow up to this was Covington getting into it with Fabricio Werdum where both guys threw around the unacceptable F word and Werdum also threw around a boomerang at Covington's head. Oh and after that, Covington got into a shoving match with Charles Bennett at what I'm going to bet is Camsoda's first and only MMA event. Colby Covington's reward for that stretch of idiocy was an interim title fight vs RDA, originally scheduled for Brazil before security concerns moved it to Chicago. In what seemed like the blueprint for EVERY RDA to follow, Covington point struck with RDA long enough to close distance, mind the gaps and then  get in for clinch work. To RDA's credit, he fared better vs Covington than he did the likes of Usman and Leon Edwards which I suppose paints the plight of Covington pretty well. Colby wins but never impressively enough to carry his heel gimmick beyond certain reaches of the internet. Colby's one of those guys who is very online as they say and more often than not, the translation from being VERY ONLINE to an average audience is slimmer than folks realize. Colby then managed to turn two years of productive high level fuckery into a wasted 2019 (so far) when he turned down a September fight with Tyron Woodley, got stripped of his interim title for not being ready for the beginning of 2019, got usurped as #1 contender by Kamaru Usman, chased Dana White around a hotel with a camera phone and then finally got pretty much told he takes this fight vs Lawler or else.

This fight on one hand feels like punishment but on the other hand also feels like a solid lesson to be learned for Colby. He was never good enough or popular enough on paper to dictate his own terms. That's reserved for a very select few who ultimately turn bigger profits.  The hype has never quite always matched the results for Covington who basically got passed up by a busier more talented model of himself. Kamaru Usman fought when Covington didn't, Usman was better against their respective similar opponents. While Covington was trying to coast on a gimmick that seemingly had no real serious appeal to anybody, Usman was just trucking through main event level fights until he got the Woodley fight that Covington was offered. Now Colby's fighting Robbie Lawler in what feels like the ultimate "Win this one or fuck off" style booking. It's one MORE hurdle to a title fight but the hurdle is self inflicted by a guy who got too comfortable and assumed he was a bit chummier with the boss than he was. Perhaps that's another lesson to be learned.

2- On paper this fight feels like the perfect test between two contrasting styles of fighting. Covington is a tremendous pace and space fighter; he controls distance well, understands when to push the pace and when to take a breath, knows how to rest on the inside and finds ways to always be on offense even if he's not doing much. The addition of teep kicks at range allow him to keep fighters at bay and when a fighter starts going backwards, he's got a great understanding of how to pressure them to keep that level of discomfort at a high. On the other hand, Covington still fights like a bully who needs to go one way to win and his striking defense is so lax that Lawler feels like a high risk opponent. Robbie hits really hard and when he decides to just go, few fighters can keep up with him. I have concerns about him being shopworn and about the injuries (broken hand vs RDA, torn ACLs in the past two years alone) but against Askren he looked positively brutal up until the "submission" happened. Lawler is still prone to resting against the fence, relying on his reads defensively and giving up space which plays into the hand of Covington. I also have zero idea if this version of Lawler and off for a year Covington have the cardio to go five rounds at the pace Covington's going to want to fight at. A lot of high level intrigue at play in the main event.

3- Dana White has said/suggested that if Covington beats Lawler, the title shot is his. The question is a) when and b) will either he or Usman be healthy enough to fight before the end of 2019?

4- Jim Miller vs Clay Guida is a back up main event (Oezdemir/Latifi got moved) so I can't be too too upset but the idea that Clay Guida is co-main eventing after scraping by vs the corpse of BJ Penn is quite frustrating and downright churlish.

5- I've seen some talk that Hannah Goldy vs Miranda Granger (just added to the card mind you) could be moved up to the main card with a swap happening with one of the heavier weight class fights and that just seems like an awful lot of pressure to be honest.

6- Joakim Silva vs Nasrat Haqparast is a damn interesting fight that is well worth your time. A short notice signee, Nasrat Haqparast gave a lot of trouble to Marcin Held before losing a decision in October of 2017. Since then he beat the hell out of Marc Diakiese and followed that up by beating the shit out of Thibault Gouti before he tuckered out and took it easy in the third round. Haqparast is freakishly athletic and has a lot of those flashy highlight reel techniques you see other fighters use while also being able to wrestle really well. His cardio is a concern but it's also not damning in my eyes either. Joakim Silva has one loss in his career; a close split decision to

7- Mickey Gall has had an interesting run in the UFC. He got signed off of Lookin' For A Fight at 2-0 because the UFC was looking for guys to fight CM Punk. He beat Mike Jackson as a filler fight to get some experience and then followed that up by beating up on Sage Northcutt. From there? It's ugly. Gall is super raw but athletic but he struggles with the finer points of MMA and while he's powerful, his striking and takedown defense is ass ugly.  I feel like they feel like he's going to be good but they have no idea when that'll be and have no idea how to nurture him from point A to point B. He takes on Salim Touhari on the prelims as the big prelim fight.

8- If I had told you a dude who fought on Bellator's Fight Master wound up on a UFC card in 2019, would you be shocked, surprised or saddened? Cole Williams fought on Fight Master and is making his debut as a short notice guy vs Claudio Silva.

9- Going back to card placement, I think we can move up Matt Schnell (riding a three fight winning streak) vs Jordan Espinosa (one of the best flyweight fighters signed off of DWCS) since flyweight is gonna be a thing again.

10- Antonina Shevchenko vs Lucie Pudilova should be a fun striking battle but I also have a sneaking suspicion it's going to disappoint.

11- I'm not giving up on Trevin Giles just yet. Giles started off 2-0 in the UFC and then disappeared for a bit before returning to fight proven veteran Zak Cummings. He started really good and then just kept trying to fight at the only range Cummings could win. Sure enough he gets popped, dropped and subbed to lose his undefeated record. Giles is really talented but his chin has long since been a question, this performance now bringing his fight IQ into the discussion as well. Needless to say, this fight vs proven gatekeeper veteran Gerald Meerschaert is a big one.  

12- Is Kennedy Nzechukwu (a DWCS guy signed primarily because he's big and fought twice) vs Darko Stosic (who got shut down by Devin Clark) the worst fight ESPN is going to air this year or does that still belong to Sam Alvey vs Kleidson Abreu?

[marykaxmuses]

♫ Avec amour, pour toi

I grasp the light reflection, as I look towards the sky above ♫

Indie, Selective, Multimuse, Multi-fandom, Multiships ♥ RP English/French only ♥ Please read the rules before asking!! ♥ Au, OC, Crossover Friendly ♥ Written by Aerynn ♥ Mun is 30.    

Rules ♥ Ask ♥  Muses ♥ Interest Checker    

[cynthiaandsamus]

Custom Toonami Block Week 97 Rundown

Stone Ocean: We actually get Ermes and Jolyene together pretty quickly with a little field trip to make a search party for escaped inmates which honestly just seems more trouble than it’s worth. Like you’re not offering the inmates any reward for finding the escapees so there’s no point in them actually turning them in, feels like if they’re only going to use five inmates to make a search party you should just use five guards instead and then you wouldn’t even have to use the assumedly expensive exploding wristband named after a song (which is weird, for once the dub keeps the Like a Virgin reference) idk how that works, that doesn’t seem like something that should exist at this time period but then again we had Cyborg Nazis in Part 2 so technology in Jojo is weird. Jolyene did the ‘draw a fly you saw on Dio’s back from Egypt” thing that Joestars sometimes do and saw Whitesnake had a stash of Stand discs in a specific storehouse on the grounds that happens to be where the search party’s going. Before they can get there though the guard they’re with is attacked and they realize they have an extra person, I’mma bet it’s the person that’s on the series promo art cover, but she blows up so that’s… complicated. Jolyene and Ermes fight the underwater plankton thing which I’m relatively certain was stolen from the Plankton’s Family episode of Spongebob and these two really got the hang of ‘anything weird is definitely a Stand’ after like a Stand Battle and a half each way faster than the Stardust Crusaders did since Part 3 was ignoring all warning signs all over the place. Jolyene does some cool shit with unraveling her body (*insert Tokyo Ghoul music here*) and they fuck up the plankton but are still none the wiser about who the Stand user is… I’mma still go with the exploded girl because yeah, at this point we know so this is much less effective.

Inuyasha: More filler, but this time around a solo adventure with Kagome and Kikyo so it’s a neat sort of dynamic. I feel like filler overstates Kagome’s dislike of Kikyo quite a bit like this episode treat Kagome saving Kikyo from a cave that eats priestesses like some big heroic selfless thing when, yeah Kagome’s super awkward around Kikyo but she’d probably still want her to NOT DIE. Like she still wants her to not die here but they kind of treat it like because Inuyasha would be sad rather than Kagome valuing Kikyo’s life, though Kikyo doesn’t value her own being a soul-sucking zombie and all which does create some neat tension for Kikyo to be more self-sacrificing in this exchange. Otherwise it does a neat job of showing Kagome’s badass Queen side where she’s just not going to take Kikyo’s fatalist talk lying down and is gonna keep trying no matter what which is nice to see since sometimes filler makes Kagome more passive. Kikyo and Kagome work together and defeat the demon that’s also a cave somehow and have an interesting little moment where as soon as Kikyo’s back to full power she tries to go back to being a cold bitch but after their little adventure they have an honest talk for the first time and Kikyo acknowledges Kagome as someone strong and special to Inuyasha and it’s nice. Kikyo filler tends to be more quiet and reflective and that’s always an interesting little wrinkle.

Yu Yu Hakusho: So this one’s kind of another in-between fight, we get the buildup for the semifinals complete with a new announcer and a whole new fucking stadium. For some reason as a kid I had it in my head that they only moved stadiums because they basically destroyed the old one with all the fights but apparently this was just the plan all along to move the last three matches into an HR Geiger building. Yusuke and Genkai have a heart to heart about Genkai passing on her powers and ending her usefulness as a fighter and potentially her life, she tells Yusuke he’ll have to kill her to get stronger and Yusuke’s actually grown to like Genkai so he thinks it over for a bit before having the balls to say he’s just gonna wing it against Toguro with a 99.99% chance he’ll be killed instantly. Genkai agrees to do the test on him because she needed someone who would at least entertain murdering her but not actually try it because they can’t be a pussy but they also can’t be someone that will just murder whoever they want to gain power and I think that’s a nice touch. She gives him the test which is basically that scene in One Piece where Zoro takes all of Luffy’s pain and is screaming in agony for hours except I don’t think Yusuke’s gonna say nothing happened after this. The Semifinals start and surprise Team Urameshi is down two fighters, I’ll have to go back and check but I think the first round was the only one where all of their fighters actually fought, like multiple people have been pulling double duty for every fight and still have been kicking ass, like that first fight where they actually had everyone was already like three to one so Yusuke’s team is kind of dominating this tournament even without getting kneecapped before every fight. Further illustrating that point Hiei does a classic ‘sword guy vs muscle guy’ fight and fucking murders the dude from Ultimate Muscle in two seconds. It’s really weird how some demons are like these complex masterminds with a million attacks and some are ‘my name is Mr. Stab and I stab a lot” and they still make it this far, like to be fair every team that the guys that face Yusuke’s team next fact always seem like they suck extra hard to build up the next enemy team but the quality check on the tournament is really strange.

Fate Extra: It’s up to the next video game level which means more bathing exposition with Nero, this time with Rin in the background. (I swear there’s like one shot that shows Rin’s in the bath and then the rest are just zooming in on Nero’s tits, idk what this anime has against Rin fanservice but it’s just all Nero all the time which is fine but still). The enemies this time are Robin Hood and The End from MGS3 which they’re both sneaky snipers so they ambush Nero and Hakumo in the middle of Nero giving him the small part of her backstory that he gets for being a level two friend. They do the whole ‘Servant reveals their basic attacks and has an inconclusive battle to set up the next one’ thing all Fate serieses do before they’re saved by a little girl that I only recognize from one of the high level Craft Essences in FGO. Apparently Little Girl (I can’t remember her name and I’m not looking it up) is a Master that lost her Servant and now is basically a gravetender for all the Masters The End has killed with his old man sniper skills and/or chased them down to the previous level Aka Shinji’s Party Town. We get more shots of Nero with her tits out because she has to have 50% of her screentime being naked, and then little girl tells Hakumo that time is fucked, the video game world is fucked and we’re in Futurama times because it’s the year 3000 or some shit and humanity’s extinct and the only bits left are playing SAO on the moon… I mean I kinda assumed that, like you don’t set up a death game on the moon if everything’s going good on Earth, at the very least I assumed we wouldn’t be seeing any of Earth in this series but apparently humanity’s reached Attack on Titan levels of low population which is bad considering the giant death rings in the sky that want to end the game and fuck up the ten or so humans remaining.

Bakemonogatari: Another pretty good episode on the books here, basically this whole episode is Araragi going over to Suruga’s house (which her room is a literal swimming pool of books for some reason) to go “Hey you know that whole you turning into a gorilla and beating the shit out of me on the train tracks? The fuck was that about?” So Suruga tells him about the backstory we already knew about with her and Hitagi except elaborates that it was more than just a senpai thing, it was an actual full blown lesbian crush and she only backed down when Hitagi threatened her because she’s that much of a simp and didn’t want to go against her wishes even if her wish was to leave her the fuck alone and let her suffer in silence. Basically what I said about her last time where she’s jealous of Araragi for being the one to save Hitagi when she couldn’t, though Hitagi thinks she successfully scared her off so their relationship is kind of in limbo right now. Then she gets possessed by this Monkey’s Paw apparition that isn’t really a Monkey’s Paw but close enough and grants her yandere wishes by transforming her into a Gorilla at night to get rid of anyone in her way of being with Hitagi, though without Suruga’s knowledge as she just goes into a trance. Obviously this is bad so Araragi and Suruga go and book it to Oshino’s to get her de-monkeyed. I really kind of like Suruga and Araragi’s dynamic because she just derails any sort of logic with her lewd nonsense and she’s such an early 2000s internet girl because she’s a super yaoi fangirl and unironically uses the terms seme and uke in public (which is kind of odd given she’s a self-professed lesbian but separation of reality and fiction and all that I guess) and is just down to fuck Araragi if he lets her have Hitagi (which again is weird for a lesbian but she’s pretty goal-oriented so she’s just a strange duck overall) they go back and forth with some fanservice nonsense for a while before getting to Oshino and he tells them how it’s not a monkey’s paw but it basically works the same way because Suruga’s sold her soul to a demon for three wishes, so… oops, I guess.

Sailor Moon Crystal: We start this one off with Luna going “Hey those Sailor Guardian type guys we saw are really suspicious and also Haruka and Michiru that look almost exactly like them are also suspicious” with no sense of irony, like they’re back to back frames on the slideshow and Usagi of all people is the only one who thinks to ask Haruka if he’s a Sailor Guardian and admittedly they do really try to sell the idea that he’s a guy so he can’t be which may have confused some people at first originally but the way the marketing pushes them and just pop culture osmosis I don’t think it’s fooling anyone nowadays, still we do get a nice shot of Haruka in an open dress shirt like we’re not just an inch away from seeing titty so they are trying to throw some curveballs. Also turns out Hotaru the girl Chibi-Usa was into last time is the daughter of the obviously evil scientist dude that runs the academy that’s training Evil Slutty Winx Club girls and is doing obviously evil things that have almost certainly caused Hotaru’s condition with her magical anxiety attacks and shit. We get a little filler bit where it turns out it was Rei’s birthday so everyone goes up to the mountains where she’s doing her super saiyan training and throws her a party. Turns out she was really here to spy on the Mugen Academy mountain trip that was randomly going on five feet from a cabin she has access to, so they do that, Haruka Judo Throws Makoto which basically makes her Worf at this point for how strong she’s supposed to be to get tossed that easily (though to be fair they specify Haruka’s a bit caught off-guard by her skill and she doesn’t know Judo) and they really sell Haruka being a guy because he gives a standard shonen protagonist line of “you gotta be strong to protect yo shit” and stuff. They ambush the Mugen teacher doing the satanic campfire ritual to have people offer their souls to their leader whose name is a combination of titles and numbers so idk where the fuck this guy gets off. Makoto and Rei fight her for a bit but she fire fists them before Sailor Moon does her Sailor Moon thing and Neo Moon Kamehamehas her into oblivion. I feel like if this was a shonen you’d get like one of those and then the next bad guy it just wouldn’t work on because of power scaling but Sailor Moon tends to have her upgraded moon beam just completely nuke all the henchmen for the arc which I guess validates the power progression more but like why do we even have other Sailor Guardians at this point, it’s a weird balance of at least it’s not power crept right away but also there’s legit no reason to not just do that at the start of every fight. Anyway Sailor Uranus pops in to jump from trees long enough to be noticed before running away for no reason and Sailor Moon manages to corner her and they… uhh kiss, sure why not. Like at this point I think we’re supposed to ‘know’ Haruka is Sailor Uranus but I’m never sure what level of intelligence this show assumes we have but Usagi’s definitely concerned about kissing someone other than her seemingly college-aged boyfriend that just has his own penthouse that her parents never seem to mind her and her mini0me staying that night at constantly.

Durararax2: This time around we get Akane’s backstory and it’s basically ten minutes of “Oh Honey, No.” because she doesn’t learn her family is a Yakuza gang until she gets a smartphone and can google it and then immediately runs into the Catfishing King Izaya Orihara, like he loves doing this shit to random runaway girls so when a yakuza heiress falls into his lap you know he’s gotta be enjoying himself. So he convinces her to run away from home and attack Shizuo with a taser because this poor little girl just has the worst luck in the world, like she just wants everyone to be happy but finds out her whole life is a lie and people she thought liked her are really just scared of her and when she finally finds people that seem to like her it’s fucking Izaya and his henchwoman. Shinra brings up to the Yakuza guys that Shizuo definitely wouldn’t have murdered their guys this cleanly and they basically already know that but they still have to find him. Masaomi calls Izaya and is like “the fuck dude you catfished Mikado using my name” and Izaya’s like “Yeah that’s what I do and also you have no proof I did that hilarious thing I totally did” but also makes a good point that instead of calling Mikado to warn him that it wasn’t him, he calls Izaya, his supposed enemy to chew him out for it, meaning Masaomi really is avoiding Mikado for some reason. Izaya confirms they’re basically fucking with Mikado because he’s a pure soul and therefore ripe for corruption, the kind of sacrificial lamb they want to start a war by destroying inside and out. Aoba finds Celty’s threads and wants to track her down meanwhile Celty’s turning her horse into hilarious things to try and keep Akane calm while she guards her and Anri and Mikado end up running off in different directions znd the Russian hitmen split up to follow them and keep tabs on Celty. Varona also muses that Mikado may be another strange party like Celty but that’s something a lot of people say about him and aside from potentially being lowkey psycho we haven’t seen much of that yet.

[moldygreenblue]

Once Upon a Time (Not’s kinda of but technically is) Reboot

I went blind over the summer so I don’t know much (I said it going’s to be partly a cop show, but it seems it’s more a backdrop than anything). I missed maybe the first minute, but I know that Henry basically left to go to another world on a freaking motorcycle to see the other versions of fairy tale characters. I’ll be breaking this into three parts.

Another Fairy Tale World

So apparently the motorcycle is magic because it hasn’t run out of gas. At all. After years of being used. Okay.

I like Cinderella since I was a kid and even now, so I’m glad AFTW!Cinderella made a good impression on me (yeah, that sucker punch won me over she was like ‘byee thanks for ...whatever this is’. I wonder what’s her deal with the now deceased Prince (she finds him responsible for what happened to her, and I hope things go more into detail or explain what happened).

Never saw OUATiW, so I little know about that Alice, and since the Alice shown here seems to know about Rumpelstiltskin and such the other worlds and calling this Alice ‘AFTW!Alice’ sounds weird to me, I’ll call her Another!Alice. Another!Alice is giving me a ‘mystery’ vibe. I like her too.

AFTW!Drizella  (sp?) got little screen time but she was shook with the death of the Fairy Godmother. Makes me wonder what AFTW!Stepmother is doing/planning in this world with her.

Oh, so Henry has a freaking magical cellphone. Lovely. And he pretty much self insert himself into the story. We all know the answer, so I guess we just have to see the journey.

Also, I guess Tiana made an appearance (she was the one who rejected the frog legs)? I’m curious to know what’s up with her story.

Real World

Henry is a Uber Driver since he was a One Hit Author. Okay. And has curse memories. I like how he questioned everything them with ‘the hell is the place where I buried my wife and child’ due to a empty lot. 

I like Lucy. Lucy is a joy, and her losing faith with what happened at the end broke my heart. I think I saw her before somewhere (like seriously. I think she was in Law and Order SVU as Nick’s Amaro daughter because they look alike from the two episodes I seen her in).

Okay, so I don’t know anyone Real World Counterpart name other than Roni, Weaver, and Victoria. This is going to awkward.

RW!Cinderella (Jacinda? Please correct me if I’m wrong) is like, so close to being broken in spirit, and she was so happy (I guess) pouring her heart out to Henry. I want them to have their happy ending again. Also, her boss is not that big of jerk if he gave her old job back the same day she quit (or maybe he really needs the help).

RW!Drizella (sp?) is being treated like dirt by Victoria and...yeah, she needs more screen time.

Is there some unofficial curse law saying that if you’re in charge of whatever magical neighborhood/town,  your hair either has to be short (Mayor Regina and Victoria) or straight enough to know you can’t trust anyone with hair like that (Fiona *shudders* and Victoria)?

Speaking of Victoria...she’s going for the ‘soft yet iron fist’ way, but you know she’s shady because of her hair. I just want to know if she remembers anything because Regina, due to certain actions and what she said confirms she remembers something until Episode Five which comes she remembers everything. I’m not getting that vibe with Victoria.

RW!Alice...even more mysterious. I bet she had something to do with Henry’s missing car. I bet she stole it.

Roni is definitely the person everyone can trust to pour out their troubles. Also, I never though I would say this, but Roni standing up to Victoria and channeling Regina made me cheer because I wasn’t the biggest fan of her (I didn’t hate her either...at times at least), so I was like “ah yeah! Be a bitch to Victoria!” (don’t ask the history about it. It’s too long).

Detective Weaver, aka Rumpelstiltskin is...well, I bet he’s running a secret organization fighting against either Victoria, the new curse, or both.

RW!Hook (did they say a name for him because I don’t remember) is...well, see the next part.

Also RW!Tiana (?) is roommates with RW!Cinderella.

Theories/Etc

Theory: Since Tinkerbell was able to be in Neverland (I actually don’t know how though since I didn’t see all of Season 3) and that Tiger Lily is a Fairy (Godmother?) to Lucy, I think it’s safe to safe OUAT!Fairies can cross time and space to new worlds.

Theory: AFTW!Anastasia is apparently nonexistent. OUATiW!Red Queen is, to my knowledge, Anastasia. Unless it’s stated by Word of God Anastasia is actually the Enchanted Forest!Anastasia, I’m saying she left her world because she couldn’t deal with anything anymore.

Etc and Theory: Hook has a clone or some bullshit, and Emma is involve with this and getting Henry back to their world (I saw her talking to him in the promo!). Either Cloney hooked (HA!) up with Emma and left Hook in the other world and Weaver, who for this theory has to remember, is like ‘since you got screwed over and don’t remember anything, I’ll take pity on you’ or Hook stays with Emma (most likely choice), leaving Cloney with a identity crisis of  “who am I? what is the real me? Can I even call myself the real me if I’m based off someoneelse?” and along with the curse, Weaver who again for this theory has to remember, is like ‘you’re not the real hook and don’t remember anything, I’ll take pity on you now and after”.

I’ll most likely make another point for the mid-season finale (no way I’m going to do this every week unless the episode really got my attention). Regardless what I do, I can say that this is quite refreshing and dare I say, creative and original. I haven’t enjoyed this show since Season One and the first half of Season Two (kind of...), though I admit the parts I seen of Season 3 and 4 were okay if average. Don’t screw it up writers.

[elizabethrobertajones]

12x10 watching notes

tl;dr Yockey owes me dinner

There's a large part of me (the part that's getting larger) that just wants to eat pasta in a mug in peace and watch this episode before midnight :P But I always regret not starting to write meta on an episode as I watch if I don't do it, so here I am, cup of pasta and all.

Expectations - well, the spoilers all suggest some crazy angel hijinks in period costume. I'll be fine if we make it through this episode without Cas turning out to have had a baby with Lily in the past or something.

If the spec is true and he's in a female vessel I am however always going to have an exemption that Cas can be lesbians with her in the past, and may even WRITE Cas being gay with her in the past if I have to. >.>

The sanctity of the OTP has a few override buttons :P

Aside from that, well, it's Yockey, and I loved his first episode and he seems like he should be mostly unproblematic, after 12x06, but of course we barely have a handle on him and he's never written a full plot episode or Cas, and it seems like he'll not only be writing Cas but presumably a past version of Cas in a different vessel so... This is going to be a bit of a wild ride no matter how chill 12x06 made me feel about Yockey as a writer :P

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The trouble with pasta in a mug is that it's still really hot towards the bottom of the mug so you have to keep stopping eating it, and I think that is a perfect metaphor for how I approach watching new SPN episodes >.>

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Right back to 4x02 as a starter of the recap :')

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I may be getting older but I swear recaps didn't habitually re-tell entire chunks of the story like this re: the entire everything that happened with the nephilim plot so far.

Side note: I really don't want to think this much about the nephilim plot and would rather it just kind of went away and didn't come back until like, season 30 or something when the kid's a bit older and ready for the drama.

Honestly the show has a sort of built in expctation of longevity at this point, why not, uh, plant some seeds.

Anyway maybe just because Buckleming are the only ones with direct contact with it so far, but I really don't trust the show to be equipped to deal with this, ethically, or maybe even in good storytelling way. Which just leaves me with a ton of dread that problematic shit is coming >.>

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Also recapping an entire chunk of the story for Billie getting killed :< Thinking of problematic stuff and lazy editing.

I supopse it's a terrible balance between the netflix bingers (who'll skip it anyway) and the casual viewers who may not remember everything or are not reliable enough viewers to have caught every episode so they need a weighty reminder. It may just be that whoever's editing the recaps has changed because they used to be much more efficient at conveying everything and now they're just sort of laying everything out. The mini road so far last episode was really bland. I think the art form's disappeared :P

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If anyone's wondering, the arcade game angel is now my favourite character forever. It reminds me of in Steven Universe when Garnet got addicted to an arcade game, and couldn't be budged. Weirdly specific but excellent trope: immortal black ladies who have terrible impulse control around arcades.

I'm going to be so sad when Lily kills her.

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[crazy awesome fight scene interlude]

[kind of sad we already know she's called Lily because even though Lily Sunder is an incredible name, I wanted to call her Eyepatch Lady and I don't have to]

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Aw Benjamin :< God dammit why did she have to die first and SO soon after Billie... I mean I knew they were killing off the angels and have flashbacks to flesh them out so I assumed some would bite the dust immediately, and basically all of them but Cas are probably gonna die in the long run because haha recurring friends for Cas... But ugh, it seems kind of cruel to end the recap killing one badass WoC, and then start the episode and introduce and kill another >.> I mean I guess not intentionally cruel but definitely making a depressing trend REALLY obvious.

I don't think anyone will care about the representation when no matter what awesome roles the characters have, they keep on dying >.>

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I'm going to sulk off and get some tea, because I saw that coming from a mile off and it's still annoying me :P

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I also did the dishes and gained some dark humour perspective on it because of the little glimpses of the angels standing around doing seemingly nothing while Benjamin warned them - at least Benjamin doesn't have to have the conversation, "so what have you done since we last saw you?" "I have been playing video games since they were invented, non stop." "Oh, cool. Cool. I rebelled against heaven and stopped the apocalypse and was god and - "

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"Cas has been pretty busy, huh?" - confirmed, all the other angels are lazy butts and Cas has been hard at work.

I assume his fixation on finding Lucifer's offspring and dragging out all the noticeboards to set it up is a continuation of what's up with him and hunting. He was feeling more than useless with just some vampires, and so now he is trying 1000% of his hardest to do this right, especially as it's the loose end he's got left in the way of any attempt at happiness... He basically ALWAYS has one of these... times like this I miss Steve!cas and his simple happiness (uh on top of a yawning void of depression) at doing a few human things right, like Nora's praise that he did basically everything to open the store without her because when he has a few simple things to accomplish, he can get it all done, and everything is ordered and in the right place, and... God I feel bad for Cas being at loose ends and feeling useless.

Dean immediately is a dick about Cas NOT finding Kelly yet, so I assume he's in a good mood since last episode...

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I do like that Cas is clearly at least allowed to hang out at the Bunker and use their resources even if Sam and Dean aren't helping him or part of this project, and just sort of walked in on it. I guess this is a "good morning" meeting, only they walked into Cas staying up all night on this. There's no weirdness about the fact Cas is here or has been doing it, he's just an accepted part of their living space, albiet one doing weird art projects that mean they can't use the war room for their own crap :P

They're also really enjoying sprawling on their furniture now they're free

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Transitioning to the ongoing disappointment in Mom not making chicken soup for them - Dean continues finding it hardest to accept Mary has apparently adjusted, but to a life without them, instead of adjusting to a life living in the Bunker with them. It's also bitterly amusing me that now Cas is finally kind of just around them by default, they have another character who is explained away in the opening of the episode...

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Oh god Dean and Cas are "walking past each other in the kitchen" while not making eye contact. WHY is Cas in the kitchen. HE DOESN'T EAT. Is he strategically walking in past Dean? Bothering Sam to know if he wants coffee so he has an excuse to go get it while Dean is making a sandwich? How long has this been going on?? I want this entire soap opera episode pls.

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Oh no DEAN IS PISSED BECAUSE HE IS WORRIED ABOUT CAS. He says it's just about the consequences in a vague way, but CAS is the one who clearly incurred them because it's not like this deal had any strings attached to random stuff in the universe a la releasing Amara, it was a blood pact between Winchesters, on a family level, therefore Dean is most worried about Cas.

Halp.

I don't like this new trend of Sam and Dean actually communicating and talking about their shit. This is awful. Can we go back to them not talking about anything?

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Cas walks in on Sam defending him. My heart.

Although tbh he can hear through walls so unless the Bunker maaagically dampens that, he's come stomping back because he can't take listening to them going in circles about why Dean is ignoring Cas, because ouch, hearing how Dean is concerned about Cas's actions... I bet HE'S taking it as Dean thinking that he made a mistake >.>

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*snipey snipey Destiel arguing* (Yeah, Dean just pretty much accuses Cas of that :P)

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I love the old "all our friends are dead" type moment that they all have when someone comes up with "personal" business elsewhere. Like when Dean ran off to help Benny or Sam wandered off to deal with Amy Pond. Personal??? we don't get personal lives! aaand Cas is truly a Winchester now.

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Oh third wheel Sam. Cas wants Dean to come but snarks at him like he's not gonna, Sam looks at Dean, Dean looks at Sam and Cas and rolls his eyes and accuses Cas of doing stupid things, but comes anyway because he will still look after Cas even if they're not talking...

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Aaand the promo scene which left me amazed Sam did not open the car door, jump out onto the road, and take his chances there.

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[patented angry Cas squinting]

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I think that was the stage direction - Yockey might be new at this but he knows what he's doing.

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Oh NO the bit we saw before the episode wasn't even the half of it. Dean and Cas are having an Actual Married Argument, deliberately projecting their fight onto talking about Benjamin. I am waiting for Sam to roll down his window and climb out to spend the rest of the drive on the roof.

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The fact Cas says "Benjamin wouldn't call for help lightly" as well as about putting himself in harm's way - Dean probably latches onto that last part because it suits their argument more - also firmly confirming very clearly and loudly that Dean is worried about what will happen to Cas because he's upset that Cas put himself in harm's way, so this argument is now definitely, textually, 100% on Dean's side about how CONCERNED he is for Cas (and probably now a heaping of that Cas wouldn't deserve it and that Dean wasn't worth it because self-esteem issues... (The way this is going they'll probably say THAT in text too in like 3 lines) But yeah, also raising the issue that Cas doesn’t ask for help. Watched him rake leaves, anyone?

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Dean is going to CRASH THE CAR. Sam's breaking point is Dean literally rotating 180 degrees in his seat to talk back at Cas. :P

*sound of a car horn and something narrowly missing them* 

GUYS.

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Cas values sarcasm as a trait he really likes (nice, perfect need for someone who is going to resentfully be married to Dean forever), but would also like to be appreciated more :<

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Aaand the info about Benjamin and his vessel has officially murdered me, especially as he's already dead. :< Angel/human friendships! *flails emotionally* Also no angel has ever been shown so close to their vessel. Hannah came to appreciate Caroline and gave her back, but without bonding with her (rather, traumatising her, I guess); Cas being so happy Jimmy was devout now has retconned emotional impact about Cas knowing how his friend appreciated his vessel and Cas was excited to have that same bond. But Jimmy died early on, Cas didn't have the luxury to be kind and friendly to him or to start doing that later; although he returned in 4x20 saying of course he'd keep his word to Jimmy and look after him (in that very angel way that Cas had back in season 4), it took him until Hannah and Caroline to remember this bond with a vessel and go attempt to make it right with Claire and Amelia.

*flops over and slowly slides off my chair*

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*resumes watching from the floor because of Cas staring at Benjamin's wings* You know how we spend way too much time as fandom imagining crap about Dean having Cas's wings burned on him or his car or whatever? This is like that but with a character I've known for like 8 minutes of the show and I have a tear in my eye.

Poor Cas :<

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*continues a non-stop "poor Cas" litany through this scene*

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Oh my god even though all the angel blades look the same, Cas can TELL which angel they belong to THIS IS THE WORST NEW INFORMATION I'VE EVER HEARD.

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Well, aside from the longing retcon. Hey, it must be 2 years old around now - that was 10x10

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Having Cas being upset about losing a close friend that he fought together with right after saving Dean, a dear friend he has fought together with, and getting super judged for it, is way on the nose. Ow.

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It's pretty cool that Lily has learned to talk on angel radio.

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Oh gosh, Lily has a dead child I WONDER WHAT THIS IS ALL ABOUT

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I love as well that Lily is dressing like angels used to, in a black and white suit, can talk on angel radio, has an angel blade... She's like the ultimate hunter becoming the thing she hunts in a sort of parallel to grizzled old hunters wearing a big ol bear skin or something :P

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place behind them when they get out the car called "The Wright Spot"... guess which director is directing this episode. Go on. :P

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"If I plan to do anything else stupid, I'll let you know" - I honestly did not think it was possible to love Cas more than I already did but he keeps on proving me wrong.

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Cas is catching up on what feels like a 3 year backlog of angry squinting. He's definitely gone over the edge since last episode, as a result of last episode, but at the moment I think as long as Dean and Cas make up, in a good way where he's getting to vent some things about not feeling appreciated and so on, this will be okay.

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Hang on this is the diner scene - aren't Sam and Dean going to crush into this both with Cas? I need to see how this happens...

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Anyway AAAAAH Cas talking to angels! Angels who aren't trying to kill him immediately!

They are judging him for being careless and having to take a different vessel. Lol. "I liked the old you better" *Cas inspects himself*

Mirabelle then gets at Cas for the angel fall which obviously I was expecting since I already joked about this exact scene at the beginning of the episode :P I like that they went right ahead and addressed it. It's quite an elephant in the room, and of course the fact Cas's old battalion hadn't crossed paths with him at any point in the angel drama previously... Well, they HAD to have not picked Raphael or they wouldn't have made it past season 7. They may or may not have picked Metatron but they can't have been in Cas's army because he'd have actually chatted to them. There were still angels after season 10 who hadn't really got involved in all that at all, so I assume they laid low, perhaps knowing Cas better than most, or thinking they do >.>

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Oh yeah just go ahead and remind him of how terrible things went with Uriel and Balthazar while you're at it :P

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The "i just stared at a wall in a church for 100 years" angel is very boring. Mirabelle seemed to be pooossibly meant to be standing in Heaven's prison when the call went out? There were bars in front of her or something like that, so I assumed she was doing some job there. No idea what beardy angel was doing.

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Also pls stop reminding Cas of literally everything he's ever done because in every previous encounter with angels, bringing stuff up like that is a fast way to manipulate or upset Cas and he's in a wee bit of a precarious place right now...

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"spanner in the works" has someone actually called Cas that in canon or is that maybe like, something Edlund said in an interview or something?

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"I'm not a hero, but sometimes doing the right thing requires sacrifices" You know what, not that I wasn't already thinking it, but Yockey can keep Cas :P

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In this case, that line is tapping into his fight with Dean as well. He knows he didn't do anything particularly noble and definitely not honourable in a literal sense as he broke a blood vow, but it was what Cas deemed the "right" thing and he's in a sort of waiting zone to see if he broke the world again or what will be coming for him next... The sacrifices he's willing to take to make sure Dean etc are safe, because to Cas Dean is his moral compass and what is "right" is Dean and has been since season 4, even if Cas often goes against it or struggles with it or doesn't live up to Dean's standards or Dean has no idea Cas is trying to do right by Dean's way or -

(My mum's on holiday so I'm stuck at the start of season 7 wallowing on the end of season 6 fight right now :P)

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"But it always seems like it's other angels sacrificing for your good deeds" Yeah, buddy, we've watched Cas every freakin' step of the way and he has SUFFERED for this okay, so back off. CAS KNOWS ALREADY AND IF HE SLEPT HE WOULDN'T BECAUSE HE'D BE LYING AWAKE THINKING ABOUT THIS

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"Are you here to insult me or talk about Benjamin?" "Can we do both?"

ily Yockey

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"We didn't think you'd care"

fuck off Yockey :P

(I love that this contrasts with at the start Dean complaining about Cas caring as part of his rant to Sam about it all - drawing a line between what Cas cares about here and there... Obviously Cas DOES care a lot about these angels because ARGH his reaction to Benjamin HURT SO MUCH. But he's been understandably distracted for the last few years, and with these guys off having their own problems, say this started RIGHT after the angel fall, CAS WAS HUMAN and would potentially have missed anything on angel radio meant for him to warn him about this because he was so bad at tuning into it. If he never answered the call the first time one of their number was murdered, well, of course they'd think he doesn't care)

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Also I love that this episode clearly shows that Yockey has a very full awareness of the show's story so far.

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Ahahaha Sam no. (Please keep Sam-ing like this. You are the Sam I love so very much :P)

He has been observing Dean's behaviour all his life and he knows when Dean's patience snaps when it comes to worrying about Cas.

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Describe them in one picture

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Why does Sam cram in on the end though.

He doesn't wanna be left out either, though the bench is only big enough for Dean n Cas

If you want to talk definitions of third wheels, Sam is definitely it this episode, but he's got enough of a sense of humour that knowing he's along for the ride trapped in a lovers' spat, he can at least have some fun with it, since he's basically got to be the buffer between them. Or else towed in their wake.

(I also like how this shows Sam knows there's no point arguing with Dean about this, so going along with it mocking him for his behaviour is about the one sort of resistance he has left to him :P)

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"My friends who don't listen very well" *Dean smirks at Cas* Okay, but I'm taking a screencap of that to use as like, a phone background or something.

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This has mostly turned into me not listening to the conversation and screenshotting their faces so I need to go back and try again

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Mirabelle better not get killed just because Sam and Dean showed up.

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Noooooooo

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I can see these coming from so far off but

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"Who wants some pie"

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Dean trying to play happy families with this weird group of people.

Well, one weird rando angel, since Mirabelle is now dead, which means that I was right but this is an even more alarming rate of side character death than I was expecting

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Still don't think I've caught beard!angel's name

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He accuses Cas of "how far he's fallen" *shot of him being lovingly elbowed in the kidney by Dean* I wonder what the implication is here :P

The description of him as a warrior is interesting but we already knew that. I like "angel's angel" though because it mirror's "man's man" I suppose as a phrase, which is the sort of stereotype of a manly dude who does all the manly dude stuff, well, like Dean presents the front. I think, like, the sort of dude who goes fishing with his mates every weekend rather than stay home with the wife :P

idk if angels go fishing aside from Daniel but that's the second time I've thought of him in a few minutes of TV time so

-

*Dean and beard!angel really stare down each other* Not jealous at all, are we Dean? ("want some coffee with that sugar" I am so amused) Beard!angel accuses Cas of being homeless, which is really mean because he lives at the Bunker now, but, uh, essential to the arc of Cas REALISING that he lives at the Bunker and is in fact his home and GOOD ENOUGH and also he's totally welcome there and Dean loves him and Sam's only being weird about this because he feels like a third wheel and is making DEAN'S life hell for it in the only way a little sibling who learned to punish people through well-meant bratty little sibling behaviour can... :P

Well, home will still be very snarky and passive aggressive when he lives there but at least it will feel like HIS snarky passive-aggressive hunter-filled home.

(Angels referring to humans as monkeys is an age old sign they can't be trusted or have the Wrong Morals, like Uriel especially since that's how we were introduced to the idea that calling us "mud monkeys" was "close to blasphemy" - which already undermines that Cas was always an "angel's angel" because it sounds like this is exactly how to describe beard!angel, and hey MAYBE CAS WAS PROJECTING BASED ON HIS ENVIRONMENT, NOT LIKE DEAN DOES THAT ALL THE TIME TO FIT IN OR ANYTHING)

I have collected so many emotional parallels between season 4 Cas and early seasons Dean in this one conversation that will utterly destroy me next time I wander through season 4, which was already riddled with this parallel in the original subtext >.>

-

Also not for nothing but beard!angel does look vaguely like John & seems like him in the older male alpha authority figure way he acts. Dean is rejecting him which is great, but he has standards about what makes an angel (read: man) which doesn't fit with the true self we know of Cas (read: Dean, who is of course, "humanity") and clearly these are outdated societal angel things which he holds to...

welp

-

"have some pie" (why do I feel like he's walking off to be Lily Sundered?)

Great parting words though. Dean is like "don't mind if I do" when he sees how much money the angel threw down. Of course it's mocking them for their attachment as family, but it's a value that is the CORE of the show - humanity and love and family - which pie represents in all its forms. A barb telling them to have pie because it's apparently demeaning to like these things (and below an angel to care for a family of humans like this) is no insult at all to the people who ACTUALLY LIKE PIE.

-

Sam moves over so Dean and Cas can share the seat together. Nicely done.

-

Captain of the SS Destiel and desperately trying to steer it through the storm to its berth :P

-

"Ishim" apparently. Dean immediately defends Cas against him once he's gone, like, Cas doesn't deserve to be treated that way. BECAUSE DEAN APPRECIATES HIM.

Not that Cas may be able to recognise what just happened there because wow they're all dug in on their fight :P

-

"No one gets to be a dick to my husband except me"

-

Not surprisingly, Ishim then gets attacked and lightly stabbed.

(that was a pun. Because angels bleed light -

I'll show myself out)

-

Cas shows up and injures Lily in a surprisingly similar way.

-

I'm still impressed with her absorbing and using an angel smiting for power.

-

Ishim says "I'm fine" which is such a part of the SPN vocabulary I don't even know what that means except that he's absorbed the same rules about it somewhere or other. :P Cas had to explain it to Hannah about why humans do it, but I think angels come on a range of personality types and Ishim is definitely of the better socialised type than say, Mirabelle, who was very angel-y, especially with how she stood the whole time watching them, and still had more of a uniform look to her clothes then Ishim who's just wearing a nice suit.

-

I do like the church they're holed up in

-

Hrm, vaguely annoyed about the "came to earth" turn of phrase, because I always took the watching over it to mean they were literally around on earth, though not in vessels and obviously as true forms very distant and above it all.

It's making my thumb itch that Cas had a vessel before Jimmy but I've been bracing myself for this retcon for ages so I'm just going to have to live with it :P

The fact that Ishim is the one dude and the other angels are all in female vessels does look, in this period costume, kind of odd. He has a little flock or something :P Weird gender role stuff going on here. I mean, from an outside view. To Cas, gender is nicely explained by that little exchange where Dean was like "Benjamin's a woman?" and Cas was like, "Benjamin's an ANGEL. His vessel is a woman" - so pronouns apply to them if they like them, but the real distinction is really not that important because what they are is genderless wavelengths with a consciousness that may like to be one or the other in a vessel or for it not to matter, or to prefer a pronoun that applies to them regardless of vessel or... it's wobbly. The important thing is they're angels :P Idk if I should have celebrated this louder back in the car discussion because I always took it as canon and especially with Hannah in season 10 something the show sort of went over again to make it a bit more clear, but with more hindsight maybe this really is taking what was strictly still sort of headcanon when it comes to expressly TALKING about how angels identify, and putting it in the text, aka definitely and finally queering all the angels ever, forever)

Anyway I had it paused on a lady with the Perfect Eyebrow and idk how the casting went for this but it was probably "can you do Cas's Eyebrow" so now I should see how she handles the rest because I'm sold just on her resting Cas face :P

We know since 4x20 Cas would possess Claire, with absolutely no weirdness about it, but there's enough blah about the circumstances that he might only have done it because the bloodline, emergency moment, Jimmy was in trouble etc... But here we have Cas clearly having freely chosen a female vessel (maybe an ancestor of the Novaks? Which would limit his choice if she was the only suitable one around at that point but eh >.>) and so that's sort of... a big moment I guess... *see above: conversation about angel gender* I'm so used to thinking this is a totally normal thing that I have no idea how mindblowing this is for them to happily show Cas in a female vessel like this :P There was so much weirdness about Raphael swapping vessels - several characters got a shot in towards the end of season 6. And at least Metatron made a crack about Hannah swapping out Caroline and using a male one. But Cas is a major character and unlike Crowley briefly possessing women, the way angels possess people is very different (and the reminder that Benjamin was friends with his vessel from the start of the episode sort of works in general to show how angels have to have a more mutual compatibility with their vessel...)

It’s a pretty big thing, I guess. 

-

Benjamin is complaining about how wet it is on earth, but Ishim just confirmed all the spec that this is a human marrying an angel and I'm contemplating going out to stand in the rain and shriek into the sky so he's got that all wrong. Rain is great, when you need to shriek :P

-

Obviously this is forefront a parallel to the Lucifer and nephilim thing, buuut I mean they're in LOVE and MARRIED

who else in this episode is MARRIED

Oh right Sam had to yell at them to not drive into oncoming traffic because they were too busy being MARRIED

-

For the record, the description of the Nephilim here is killing me - it has grace and a human soul, and I've been speculating that Cas never lost his soul he had after being human, so he too has both. (Which makes him dangerous)

Revisiting nephilim is all Dabb because he wrote 8x22 which originally introduced the idea, and so I am now in a sort of danger zone for getting sucked riiight back into angel fall spell nonsense :P I have picked up a real aversion to wild speculation but this is my weak spot. The season 8-9 crazy Destiel optimism about that damn spell, and Dabb's picking at all the loose ends this season, especially to get to the Nephilim, which plays such a key part in that beautiful, horrible idea that the last ingredient was "the grace of an angel in love with a human" and this is specifically WHY the spell makes the angels fall... Brings them down to the monkeys' level :P Ishim would hate to know that detail of why he has no wings :P But, yeah, that the spell was a punishment or reward that comes as a result of angels mingling with humans (and I still think God preferred angels to like humans, so this taboo comes from angel society, that Ishim represents and is denouncing in front of Cas)

It's times like this I remember the translation to the angel tablet is just sitting in the bunker in a language Cas can read and I need to go shriek in the rain some more

-

I guess Ishim is like the homophobic, racist uncle, we should treat this accordingly :P

(Benjamin also confirmed this is an angel-made rule)

-

Castiel moves like the Cas we know better :P I like her a lot.

-

I mean, she IS Cas, after all.

-

Aww Lily's husband has great hair.

-

Ishim says that he was only supposed to watch and instead he took up with a filthy animal... hahahahahahahahaha *flashback within a flashback to the diner scene and Cas all crushed up against Dean*

No I'm fine why do you ask

-

"How could anyone know them and not love them" (re: humanity)

Help meee

-

Oh no, Castiel does the whole speech about why this angel broke the rules before they kill him :<

I mean... Delicious irony making Castiel say it because obviously later Cas has done a complete about turn on this, at least where loving humanity is concerned. Maybe not the fathering nephilim bit as he's still out to get Holly and this is explaining WHY he knows it's such a big deal (8x22 also showed him hesitant to kill the nephilim there until she turned on them and proved she was ready to act monstrously, and then he had no hesitation) although I hope this inspires him to be more sympathetic, remembering HOW cold and angelic he was back here and how he's all in contrast to this now.

(I don't think it's weird Akobel makes that speech about humanity being great in front of Castiel, because although Cas clearly softens towards humans later and has a more sympathetic feeling than say, Uriel, who clearly is on a level with Ishim on this subject, by the time we meet him, or at least, after 3 episodes putting up with Dean, this mirrors Dean's 4x22 speech, which means that this is a trial run that doesn't convince Cas, because, well, there's no weight behind it to TRULY make Cas think. 4x22 in contrast is SO powerful that Dean's similar words have a huge weight of their friendship, his growing understanding of humanity, etc, that they land squarely on him and convince him to rebel)

-

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah and then Castiel flinches, clearly affected by this even though he knows the nephilim is an abomination and has to die :<

Always had that crack in his chassis...

-

I am glad that this is HOPEFULLY, via what they've set up in Cas's emotional landscape here so far, going to let him get to a place where he chooses to either let Holly go and forget about this, or at least track her down but give her a choice and maybe some actual HELP with having to raise a devil baby if she chooses to do so. >.> Definitely showing us Cas feeling bad about killing nephilim that haven't done anything, or given a chance to live their lives normally might NOT grow up awful (Jesse the forgotten antichrist comes to mind, never mind the nephilim we saw before who was living a completely peaceful life until Metatron ruined everything, as he tends to do)... I suppose it's been Cas vs 2 nephilim now and Lucifer's baby is the 3rd, so...

-

The message in 12x08 was so weird about it, there's so much salvage work for me to even be sure I know which way is up with this but as a bare minimum making Cas conflicted about what to do about this issue is a start to make it less crazy with all these guys coming rushing to tell the woman what to do with her baby, even if it seems justified by the story that they seem to know best >.>

-

"It was necessary, it was right," Cas says, looking horrified.

(Sam and Dean do too, and as I said, emotional compass...)

-

This is such a terrible plotline :P A sensible response back in 12x08 would have been like "hey you were coercively raped by the actual devil, just FYI about your baby" and she'd be like "oh shit that's terrible" and go willingly choose to have an abortion (and therapy probably >.>) without anyone telling her to do it but the main characters weighing in with their info on nephilim and anti-christs they've already met and dealt with to give her some best case/worst case scenarios to help her decision >.> That's the most political route because of actual choice and agency on the mother's part but eh. A lot of times in media they toe a safe line of considering abortion and confirming it's a thing that happens and isn't inherently evil but then the preggers character involved magically decides that they're fine and will keep the baby for personal reasons for the story to avoid going there and praising abortion for saving desperate people >.> Or well, unless it's a tragedy, but still a terrible idea to have the baby for everyone involved, in which case stories tend to throw a last minute miscarriage their way...

12x08 was just a mess though so had the poor woman in a room full of people yelling at her and attacking her in Lucifer's case about what she was supposed to do, and then she legged it and immediately decided to keep the baby and - this could have been better handled, even in a toeing a really safe bland line, is all I'm saying >.>

-

"we completed a mission, it was necessary, it was right." - Cas falling back on old angelic behaviour to explain it because the mission and their purpose was absolute and you didn't question it.

"You say so," says Dean, still annoyed with Cas for the last big decision he made where he thought he was doing something necessary and right by killing Billie.

(I notice this involves a lot of murder for the protagonists to work out how they feel about the big issues... Great :P)

But yeah, killing kids is like the no.1 no-no and used to show Dean stepping over the line in 10x22, and now Cas reveals he was complicit in killing a kid before. (Ishim is probably not going to make it out of the episode, and certainly doesn't deserve to, by SPN's rules :P)

-

I love the exchanges where they're like just "Dean." "Cas." because saying each other's names is enough to say everything they need to because they've been over arguments like this so much by now.

(I think Sam and Dean do it too but for some reason I don't pay as much attention to it :P)

-

Meanwhile: Sam puts his foot in his mouth implying to Cas that the angels sort of deserved what was coming to them (which is a fair opinion but maybe don’t tell Cas if you think that :P)

The following orders thing tends to go pretty far with angels when you throw in brainwashing (and how Cas was already at this point many many layers of reprogrammed by Naomi since she refers to doing it to him in Biblical times, so if he felt bad about this it may have been hammered back out of him for a while after) but Ishim really is kind of being presented as a total dick about it in a sort of unrepentant way that paints a target on him as a rightful character to feel deserves it, while though Cas and the others were following orders and enforcing their society's rules that they never questioned (and would be killed if they questioned too hard or lost faith in the power structure) and in COMPARISON to Ishim who is being used as a scapegoat by the story, clearly are less deserving of punishment, especially Cas who has learned SO HARD in many ways what is right and wrong (though this seems to be a big hurdle he has left). It makes it a bit unfair to only have left the most symapthetic angel by a billion miles compared to any of the others, because we've been so far with him, and Ishim, who has clearly not changed a jot :P

-

Sam says Cas is "different now" :3

-

Clearly the easiest way out is to be like, "look Cas is now married to Dean so OBVIOUSLY has changed his ways" and honestly Captain Sam of the SS Destiel, I'm not sure he's not suggesting it.

-

Cas talking about how she "won't quit" to avenge her family reminds me that this is a plot we have had before, with whatsisface in 10x02 coming back for Dean. I also watched 7x03 last, with Amy Pond's poor son who vowed vengeance on Dean and disappeared to grow up some more and honestly season 7 is now so long ago he MUST be ready to come kill Dean but here we are with Cas finally having it happen to him :P Oh the Dean and Cas story overlaps :')

-

I really really really love Lily Sunder and her actress is great :D That healing scene was, no pun intended, SO CHARGED.

(little bit of a pun intended)

-

(Kinda sad after seeing the flashback I can't write her and Cas as lesbians :P)

-

Meanwhile in Cas's healing scene - weird shades of 8x17 and Cas and Meg, with the way Cas is tending to an ambiguous friend with a history (Wait. Same director? Yeah, same director), and clearly caring about him enough to heal him (didn't heal Meg magically and I've always suspected angel magic is a bit of a blunt weapon that would had smote her if he'd tried, even if he meant no harm >.>) - something about Cas's face while he tends to him, especially, because he's poking around instead of just flinging some glowy light at him, which makes this whole set up of playing nurse, which Cas never normally has when healing people since he just puts his hand on them and fixes them. It's automatically a much more tender, intimate scene. If this was Dean and Cas, people would spontaneously combust.

-

God damn this episode is doing some amazing things with inverting and playing with gender and stuff

-

Ishim has to ruin it by complaining about Cas letting the 'simians' talk to him...

"When did you get so gooey" I mean really, this is so seductive the way he's lying there and Cas is messing around with taking off his clothes? He and Lily had very similarly placed wounds for this parallel... but.

But yeah, calling Cas "gooey" really, really sounds like Meg.

oh god this speech from him...

"You know why we're meant to stay away from humans? It's not because we're a danger to them. They're a danger to us."

UGH

Brb

/rain /shrieking

etc

-

If this episode has not already confirmed on at least 3-4 occasions already that Cas is totally in love with Dean I don't even know what it's for :P

-

"My friendship with Sam and Dean has made me stronger" "You can't really believe that" NO AND THAT'S THE PROBLEM RIGHT NOW.

Dean needs to do the whole boombox held up outside Cas's window love declaration and fix this >.>

I mean it is true that Cas is stronger, infinitely, than when we first met him, because of all he's been through for Sam and Dean, but... He doesn't see it :<

-

I think it's stopped raining so if I need to shriek I don't know where to go

-

I LOVE that after Cas is done healing the ding from the elevator overlaps him fixing Ishim and almost seems like a microwave ding telling us he's ready.

-

The fact this is about someone killing angels (never mind the Uriel reference) really does make the plot mirror 4x16 on Cas's side; that episode ditches Sam and Dean not long past the halfway point to become completely about angel drama and Cas's decision... Nice.

-

Lots of Edlund mirroring this season.

-

"Then we burn that bridge when we come to it" HAH. :D Love that messed up idiom so much. It's such the Winchester way.

-

I love how they just walk into Lily in the corridor.

"We don't wanna kill you" "I don't want to kill you" "Okay! Good, look, there we go, agreed" Sam you fucking third wheel master level dork. He's been mediating so many fights that even when he's in the middle of one as a participant he takes on this role :P

-

Also aaaaaaaah saying Cas is their family. I mean it gets said a fair few times, but it's always so lovely to hear it coming out of Dean's mouth.

-

Oh my god Alicia Witt is amazing

-

*looks around for something to scream into*

*picks Mittens's chat bubble since the sky is not in the right setting*

Love triangle plot twist!

Which I probably should have seen coming if I wasn't comparing what Ishim said to Cas so much that I forgot he was also saying it about himself. I sort of dimly registered it without thinking it would apply to something immediate :P

I guess now we know Cas has been super lied to he's even more blameless (in the narrative) for acting out orders that were wrong, aka basically all the Heaven nonsense where the angels get manipulated. LIKE 4x16 WHERE HE HAD BAD ORDERS TO ASK ALISTAIR WHO WAS KILLING ANGELS... Now it's WHY she's killing angels (showing again in 2 words how the show has changed in tone :P) Anyway... because they were clearing up Ishim's petty family feud for him in an abuse of power, it makes the other angels victims of Ishim's choice, especially now Lily is killing them for it.

-

I wonder if her research ended up with the MoL because it's always been a weird question of how they had so much info about research on angels and if this is clearing up a weird thing from 9x11, well... Robbie's being taken to the cleaners this episode on a few things already :P There’s literally so much going on I haven’t managed to cover it all.

-

ANYWAY everyone's in love with humans, and AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH

-

What is this episode even saying about Cas.

-

I mean I know what I will interpret it as saying but

-

Yockey, explain yerself

-

"I loved you" "You were obsessed with me, that isn't love" Oh dear, we're getting into details about what is and isn't love now.

-

You know, like the whole "love and... love" distinctions.

-

angel love triangle drama is so tense.

-

"You are powerless" So she goes and becomes the Most Powerful Ever - a human literally on the level of angels, or BETTER than them, to get her revenge. Nice.

I really love Lily Sunder, and I thought I would because of the name, but yeah, good hunch about that. :P

-

"You broke my heart so I'm going to break yours" :< :< :< :<

-

....

TERRIBLE timing to bring it up, but... 6x20 > 6x22, Cas breaking Sam's wall to keep Dean out the way. >.>

-

Oh no the daughter was human... WAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah

-

This is like 1000% worse. I suppose for the previous stuff I was saying about it comparing to the Nephilim arc, Cas's guilt over this if/when he finds out will I suppose be a really heavy blow about Heaven's rules about Nephilim, since his obedience to them was used against him - and all the others who were in the dark - for this petty, evil revenge.

-

I like how Dean is just "he's a tool" about Ishim and phones Cas to... check Ishim is a big old tool?

Letting Cas know while he's alone with Ishim seems like a great way to flip from hunting Lily to needing her to help save Cas and get revenge on Ishim :P

Also I suppose Ishim turning on Cas (I hope but AAAH NOO CAS) would be a good way to convince Lily he's not evil/complicit if Ishim is having problems with him.

-

Heh, Sam's being left with Lily and Dean goes to check on Cas. What a wild surprise.

-

Oh dear, Cas is sassing Ishim which means even Cas knows he's contemptible now. The "oh goodie" sounds like Cas in the same room as CROWLEY. I suppose we're meant to assume Ishim stole his phone as well now

This would be a very good time to address that Lily can hack angel radio to message them but Dean doesn't think to pray?

Anyway Cas is not doing so great which seems to parallel that Lily healing herself seemed to really hurt her?

-

Can't believe they cover a plothole with Lily being like, nah, I just thought I'd wait and see what happened and if any of them came back to Earth I'd get them. 

Then had the angel fall spell dropped in her lap.

It seems like there should be a way to bridge her research with Metatron and the fact he made up his own spells including potentially that one. Off the books angel know-how. Like the MoL have... 

The show is never ever going to link this all up so it will just continue to bug me forever I guess :P I'm patient, I can wait over 100 years for more information to drop from the sky.

-

The fact the angel fall spell is connected to nephilim and has been mentioned a couple of times is making me reeeeally itchy in those old thumbs again

-

If Dabb wants a second crack at all that teasing, BE MY GUEST

-

Sam asking questions about magic... uhoh.

Nah, the price is soullessness, of a sort. Maybe becoming an angel? Is that possible? She might just burn out, hand of God style. Anyway Sam won't go for it. HE KNOWS THAT COST. 

FOILED AGAIN. No witch!Sam this year.

Meanwhile: actually tearing at my own soul in horror about the fact she's burning away her soul to use angel magic and I am of the opinion Cas has a soul and HE does angel magic but... he's caring more and more?? Can you do this in reverse? Use up your angel grace and if you have a human soul waiting underneath, just reboot in a different operating system?

What the heck.

I need to eat more pasta. Can't deal with this.

-

But yeah the episode has made a big deal about human souls and angel grace, and suggesting how they can live in a body together, either with Lily slowly replacing her soul, or with the nephilim having both naturally... Cas of course is an abomination.

(sorry Cas, your own words will eventually always come back to bite you :P)

-

Oh no, Lily's reached the stage where she doesn't dream any more :( Oh no Lily.

-

Lily is so good at patience. I love her. Although argh it's because she's got the emotional room to wait. Less soul to worry her. She just has to hope she reaches the end goal before she runs out of caring for it, or that her robo-self like Soulless Sam did, will carry on the "job" they define themselves by without emotionally caring for why they do it - also very Mark of Cain-y, taking on a thing like that to fling themselves at the target without a care for what happens to them in the process...

-

I'm guessing by now that Ishim has done something to Cas to make him weak :<

-

I did the "AAH OTP INTERACTING" fist pump when Dean rushed over to Cas all urgent and worried, and now Dean's just... like. Holding Cas. Help. I think I dislocated a finger making frantic handwaving :P

-

My arm legit really hurts.

-

Oh god Ishim is making Cas choose between "heaven" aka Ishim’s shitty side, and Dean. Guess we're back at 9x22.

-

"Why do his words bother you so much, Ishim" Ooooooh

This is going to be so bitchy

so so bitchy

-

*Cas squints harder*

-

"Well it sees some of my choices may need to be questioned" if you HAVE to concede a fight with your husband, this is the most badass way to do it so that it still seems like you at least half-won :P

-

Aw Caaaas all the beating up on him from the promos we assumed Lily did were Ishim's fault.

-

Dean just needs to know a human girl was killed and that's it, he goes for Ishim with a knife :D ("You're not going to like the answer" says it all, by implying that Cas's love for humanity will of course be what makes him hate it... AAAH)

-

"I used to envy you, Castiel" was that because he WASN'T in love with a human and now that's changed? :P

-

Oh no, he "just" cites Cas being chosen by God, before pointing out he's now sad and weak. Ishim sees that love as weakness.

-

Also Cas getting straddled by Ishim goes with that weirdly erotic subtext from earlier when Cas was healing him.

-

:< Cas lying there miserably after being beaten into submission. Now this has shades of 10x22 at the end - Ishim in the place of Dean - are we working through THAT trauma too... I am not up to this. Ow.

-

10x22 getting a little revisit (OH CAS NO) followed by Ishim saying he's going to go "cut out Cas's human weakness" by going to kill Dean

uh

paralleled directly to how he KILLED HIS HUMAN LOVER

I also thought from “cut out” it was going to be a reverse 8x23, and Ishim would split his throat and literally take something from Cas, like a SOUL or something. Then he said about himself, but split second panic there.

-

no biggie this is only literally THE MOST DESTIEL SHIT TO HAPPEN IN YEARS

-

HOLY CRAP then Dean picks CAS over banishing Ishim when he shows Cas is Dean's weakness too i

am probably burning my dinner in the oven

-

Yay hi Lily

-

KILL HIM

-

YAY more teamwork

I love when they do the teamwork thing. It’s a reoccurring theme this season, or maybe Yockey just likes it because 12x06 had the best teamwork ending.

-

AAAH LILY

-

This parallels 4x16 and Sam vs Alistair almost directly in staging

Except then Cas backstabs Ishim

he had it coming :P

-

Oh god and then Cas is on his knees, I mean, he drops to them because he's weak but it also puts him in a penitent position in front of Lily

LOOK AT MY BEAUTIFUL BLOODSTAINED SON

This also mirrors 4x16 and how he was on his knees in front of Uriel, the real threat of the episode for him.

-

I guess she decides not to kill Cas

-

Nice.

-

Oh look at poor Cas sitting there :(

-

I love that even though Lily's threat was she'd be beyond emotion, Dean tries to make this about revenge and killing some more to handle what next, but Cas goes straight to "i'm sorry" and Lily looks genuinely moved

-

Oh CAS you're so good.

-

And Lily thanks him and walks off :')

-

Oh dear, some over-running the episode length into a scene at the Bunker

Awww Dean giving Cas a beer and a shoulder pat and secret loving shoulder stroke. Dude. Someone needs to gif that in slow mo.

-

Oh god they're actually giving Cas a REAL you're family speech without any reasons to cut this short or make it not feel good

-

Sam's there too despite this having been all about Dean and Cas, just to smooth things over. :P

-

"I'm not mad I'm worried" Oh man all this stuff in the main text sucks because I deduced this back at the start through clever analysis of their dialogue and now what I can tell from this line is that... Dean is worried about Cas.

-

Look at their eyes

-

Waaah

-

Cas still looks beat up which is rare for him not to immediately snap back to normal. I worried.

-

Heh, Cas hasn't changed that much - all that and he still has carefully set separate rules for each situation, and KNOWING that Lucifer's baby really is Lucifer's, well... Unless he's been lied to about HOW dangerous Nephilim are... He still thinks he has a point.

Sam tries to compare scenarios

And Cas says he doesn't know what he'll do or if he'll hesitate. It HAS affected him. YAY. Episode’s goal accomplished in the final moment.

-

Okay this is clearly a motto of the ENTIRE show: "let's drink, and hope we can find a better way"

-

Can't believe Dean and Cas are married.

[thesinglesjukebox]

TAYLOR SWIFT - ...READY FOR IT? [5.79] After the last one, sure!

Katherine St Asaph: The old Taylor's not quite dead -- that pre-chorus is pure Nashville melody, from melody to bowdlerization ("you should see the things we do" is about as explicit as someone marveling over a particularly large pumpkin harvest.) Like her former/current/who knows anymore rival, "Ready For It" pumps up Swift's numbers by sounding like interstitial music for Big Sports -- premiered for the NFL, currently being stripped for instrumental parts by NBA promos -- but also like blood sports. The track's a bombed-out, post-apocalyptic version of 1989, the Yeezus to "LWYMTD"'s 808s. Or possibly approaching NIN: the pretty date machine of "Blank Space" gone rogue, locking onto someone arbitrary (the gossip algorithms still cross-referencing it against increasingly nonentity dudes) because "I see nothing better." It's romance only in the literal sense -- the jailer/thief scenario is even pulpier than "Bad Romance" managed -- and otherwise love reduced to plan and execution. The verses are alternatively tryhard, artificial and vaguely offensive, as if it isn't Taylor on the mic but Microsoft Tay. But the all-consuming, heat-seeking mania of a certain inadvisable sort of crush is palpable as adrenaline, and stokes the all-consuming, heat-seeking maximalism of Max Martin and team throwing every resource and songwriting trick into ensuring this is a hit. Petty points for Swift saying the word "island" this many times in a track with no trop-house whatsoever, and given that she's enough of an in-joker to come up with "Nils Sjoberg," I bet it's on purpose. [9]

Ramzi Awn: The most commendable thing about "...Ready For It?" is that it completely erases any memory of the single that preceded it. A confusing, feverish dash for relevance, the song makes Katy Perry's "Swish Swish" sound even more fun, an accomplishment not to be taken lightly. [3]

Alex Clifton: The rapping is an atrocity. The production is a slicker version of Sleigh Bells with half the heart. Taylor's enunciation is bizarre: "no one has to know" is such an awkward line delivery, second only to the nasally "he can be my jailor" and "let the games begin." Her vocals are a piss-poor imitation of Rihanna; at first listen, it's hard to find a shred of the Taylor I've known and loved. It's a travesty. And yet. It's 100% a Taylor production, overdramatic, narcissistic, full of easter egg references to old songs like "Haunted" and "Wildest Dreams". It's obsessive dark love writ large: "I keep him forever / like a vendetta" marries romance and vengeance perfectly. And the sheer force of that chorus makes me want to scream "IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIIIIIGHT" in public. I love the idea of sexy, dirty Taylor, less concerned with perfection and more with ghosts and robbers and gritty feeling, but the haphazard execution of the verses is so frustrating. Par for the course with all Max Martin creations, though, that chorus is a melodic masterpiece. I've got this on repeat and I'm upset about it. [6]

Eleanor Graham: Who would have guessed that the legacy of Taylor Swift's fifth album "reputation" would be to have production so DIABOLICAL that it makes "Welcome To New York" sound like "Heroes"? No one on pop's A, B or C list should come within 100 feet of something that sounds like this. I've seen comparisons to Yeezus, which is fair because they are comparable in terms of sheer nerve, but on tracks like "New Slaves" or "I'm In It", Kanye's sleaze is a feasible sparring partner for electro-roar. Taylor's Pennsylvania-goth-Bratz-doll-masochism-adjacent-revenge-core is not. You'd think that would be obvious! To, you know, anyone! I don't even know what's happening anymore. The 2 points are mainly for the way she says "go", which does something to me; no, I don't want to talk about it. [2]

Stephen Eisermann: Taylor's thrown caution to the wind and no longer gives any fucks. The provocative chorus and the weird, rapid-fire, off-putting rap/sing hybrid verses are the most prominent examples of her willingness to toss out all consistencies previously found in her music. None of this feels like Taylor and that's fun, but I'm not sure everything works. The verses especially, though lyrically fun, are delivered so oddly that the parts that should be "cool," instead make me cringe - the "Burton" line, specifically. I mean, I'm not sure what I was expecting based on the first single, but it certainly wasn't this, for better or worse. [6]

Ryo Miyauchi: Taylor writes her tried-and-true narrative of love as tragedy into self-parody. The bare-bones beat and the anti-chorus structure of "...Ready For It?" laughs at the many hits of 1989. Her self-satisfaction is maddening, truly: the snicker to "the Burton to my Taylor" is designed to drive everyone nuts. But I should remind: the real target is not exactly you but, as always, her exes, who she destroys without lifting her voice: "every love I've known in comparison is a failure" doesn't so much rip apart the journal pages where they're enshrined than it sets her entire bookshelf into flames like some great purge. [6]

Claire Biddles: Speculating who the 'real' Taylor Swift is is reductive and boring, but my favourite Taylor Swift is the wide-eyed, extra, romantic, saying-too-much-too-soon Taylor Swift that we get a glimpse of in the bridge, swallowed up before she even gets started by that sub-Kanye womp-womp in place of a chorus. There's a mutated version of her in the verses ("We'll move to an island/and he can be my jailer" -- I'm imagining she's just met the guy for full effect) but the self-conscious, sub-Lana Del Rey delivery dampens it. Perhaps I'm just being selfish, wanting for the Taylor who most relates to (and thus excuses) my embarrassing romantic tendencies, but Cool Girl Taylor's attempts at aloofness are unconvincing. [5]

Alfred Soto: A bad single, an uninteresting bad single. Mouthing "are you ready for it?" over synth bass farts comes off like preparing listeners for the punch line: Taylor Swift rapping with as little regard for cadence as Lou Reed in 1986. At least "The Original Wrapper" had the performer's rage as its subject, affected or not; Swift is writing bad bumper music. [3]

Will Adams: It's standard practice now for Taylor Swift to drop an incendiary lead single that gets the discourse a-churnin', only to reel in the masses for the more palatable, less batshit follow-up (and she's not the only one to do this). But for "I Knew You Were Trouble" and "Blank Space," there was still a distortion of who we thought Taylor Swift was (dubstep; dissection of public image). The distortion in "...Ready For It?" is... distortion. But it's hard to care about whether Swift is stoking more controversy when the song is so bracing. There's nowhere to run as blocks of drums stack atop the opening pounds and warped roars, all culminating in, finally, an actual chorus. Where "Look What You Made Me Do" was a firebomb kindled by thinkpieces, the fire in "...Ready For It?" comes from the song itself. [8]

Iain Mew: Like "Wildest Dreams" with the wild dreams added in. [8]

Joshua Copperman: A couple of years ago, I actually co-wrote a song where we used that phantom/ransom rhyme. Until that song actually comes out, here's Taylor being the ransom phantom instead of someone else haunting her. I wish that the opening line was "Loki was a killer/first time that I saw him," because that would be hilarious for her to bypass the "tilted stage" subtweets altogether and talk about how Hiddleston's now pining over her. These lyrics are also as good as anything she's even written, so a "Loki" joke would work better than whatever she was on about last time. What bugs me, though, is the empty space in the chorus. Taylor's best melodies are stream-of-consciousness, but "in the middle of the night/in my dreams.................... you should see the things we do" feels like something got cut out last-minute. I do love the idea though, the way it flips the narrative of Wildest Dreams in a really interesting way - now, she's seeing him in her wildest dreams. That's the kind of self-referencing and subversion I'd rather see Taylor do. [6]

Edward Okulicz: So many of the ingredients of Good Taylor Pop Songs are in this one -- dreamy and melodic chorus, don't care attitude, groan-inducing but quotable lyrics -- but the production feels really dated (to around the time of Red, in fact), stalling the track when it tries to accelerate. [6]

Sonia Yang: On one hand, this is generic pop I would have brushed off had it been any other artist. On the other, it's refreshing to see Swift step out of the zone of what I've come to expect from her in particular. I love the ominous synths and how the entire track has a spy thriller vibe. The best part is that breathy prechorus, you can really feel the "island breeze" as Swift delivers that line. The chorus, unfortunately, is a wisp of a thing that doesn't have any impact. The melody neither compels nor is purposefully anticlimactic. The lyrics, while not quite Love Story levels of awkward, are not great; the Taylor-Burton reference is campy at best and cringe at worst. [5]

Jonathan Bradley: Taylor Swift has rolled out singles from Reputation like trailers for the next release from a blockbuster film franchise: not only songs, "Look What You Made Me Do" and now "...Ready For It" (next: "Gorgeous"?) have acted as teasers for a new product launch. Unveiled during a college football broadcast, "...Ready For It" sounds like sports, like a pre-game huddle, like a highlights reel from last season building excitement to see how the new line-up will perform. "Welcome to New York" did the same for 1989 and was fine, but "...Ready For It" is better because it crams more into its pop overload: a rap that traces the "Empire State of Mind" flow, K-pop synth blasts, a gleefully audacious pun on Elizabeth Taylor and Richard Burton, and a chorus about "dreams" and doing things in the night that throws it all in for the romanticism Swift has always been so resolved to earnestly commit herself. If Reputation should turn out to be her New Jersey album, and if all the stage-setting should ultimately overshadow the show itself, I hope we'll one day rediscover how good the songs themselves were. [8]

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