#Shandy had the same potential!

[lunar-years]

The JackKeeley story would have been vastly improved imo if they had actually used it as a mechanism to explore Keeley's headspace with both her 3-season cycle of crumbling relationships and her struggles with her job. Like, yeah Jack was definitely...something... as a character. Incredibly unlikable, obviously. A conservative elitist bitch who saw Keeley as someone she needed to hid to protect her own image, absolutely. Lauding Keeley around the office and showering her with gifts in this weird peacocking of their power imbalance, yes. And then to top it off she went and decided to victim blame her girlfriend after Keeley refused to do what Jack wanted her to do/"risked" Jack's precious reputation. All of which was completely gross, and it was unpleasant to watch, and I totally get why people hate it on that alone. BUT Jack was a Plot Device character, which I personally could probably have gone along with so long as she like...actually serviced an arc worth telling with a satisfying conclusion, anddd that's where the show lost me.

I think the writers sort of tried to do something interesting with it, what with showing how depressed and spiraling Keeley got after that breakup and maybe making half a reference to her abandonment issues and having her panic over the loss of her funding. But, rather than the end result being Keeley grasping hold of her own life and taking space to reexamine what she actually wants out of both her relationships and career, she... immediately falls back into old patterns (by sleeping with Roy despite not wanting to get back together with him just to feel something or whatever, which is then never explicitly addressed as a bad move or ill advised behavior) and gets her business back by...virtue of having a rich friend who can swoop in with several thousand pounds and fix all her problems (i cannot begin to tell you how much I loathed Rebecca fixing everything for her instead of Keeley finding her own path back). At the VERY LEAST I wish she had gotten the opportunity to process the things that had happened to her in that relationship and how damaged she clearly felt by it, lean on her friends for emotional support and healing (rather than having them pull out their wallets and immediately problem solved), and have an honest and frank conversation with Roy about how he, too, hurt her and his apology wasn't good enough and wasn't going to fix everything immediately. That's what Keeley deserved.

Which is all to say, I definitely did not enjoy Jack or the JackKeeley relationship, but I would've been willing to forgive a lot if including her had felt like...purposeful? Instead (like Zava & Shandy and a lot of things in s3 tbh) it just felt like she was taking up a bunch of screen time while not furthering Keeley (the main character we are all very invested in and actually care about) at all in her journey. Instead the show just kept kicking Keeley while she was down and then at the end everything was magically grand again with Keeley having next to no real agency in any of it. That's why keeley's s3 storyline was so damn bad (Jack included).

[ramp-it-up]

Taste

Pairing: Mob Boss! Sam Wilson x Rumlow! Reader; Bucky Barnes x Reader (platonic); Steve Rogers x Reader (platonic); Brock Rumlow x Reader (platonic)

Word Count: around 4K

Warnings: 18+ As always, MINORS DNI, Not Beta’d. All mistakes my own. Childhood hoods, childhood crush, childhood nicknames based upon appearance, young Brock, Steve, Bucky and Sam, skinny Stevie Rogers, sibings being sibings, bratty behavior, Angst, allusion to underage drinking and crime, toxic parents, protective bothers, allusions to underaged drinking, bratty behavior, a punch in the nose (accidental), bloody nose, shirtless Sam, kind of innocent reader, fingering, oral sex (female receiving) loss of virginity, pain during sex, p in v, raw sex (wrap it or don’t tap it), praise kink, after care. This entire fic is comprised of two flashbacks.

A/N: This is in the same AU Try a Little Tenderness and The Representative, and comes directly after Addicted To You. The AU is called This Thing of Ours.

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You were ten years old, it was 2002, and you were spending the summer in Brooklyn at your father’s house. 

It was long before the mob war that he created which separated your brother Brock from his best friends. 

And it was a time that would change you forever.

The July afternoon was hot and so was the block. Music was blaring from the speakers of someone’s radio and there was a buzz in the air: adolescence, ambition and a potential for violence. 

You a slave to a page in my rhyme book/Gettin' big money, playboy, your time's up/Where them gangstas at?/ Where them dimes at?/They shootin'! Aw, made you look

They called you Bunny because of your teeth and your size. But you were a scrapper and could stand up for yourself. Your father taught you that. 

You also had a smart mouth, and roasted anyone who dared talk about you or your family. 

Your mother taught you that. 

When you came to your father’s house while your mother took her annual girls trip that summer, you found that your big brother was suddenly different. Gone was the quiet gangly 12 year old who drew up plans for world domination in composition books in his room; a wiry 13 year old who had friends who were just as scrappy and hungry as he was had taken his place.

Little Stevie Rogers never backed down from a fight. That’s where his best friend Bucky Barnes came in, backing him up when Stevie was against the wall. Brock was the kid with vision, the one who had a plan to get them where they wanted to be.

In power.

Your brother tried to ignore you, but you trailed after him because there was nothing better to do. One day, you sat in the stoop and watched him and his friends working to open the fire hydrant across the street from your dad’s house.

Your brother felt your eyes on them as you hugged your knees.You were a sight, bushy hair, glasses, braces, and an intense look on your face. He felt bad. 

For a second.

“Why don’t you go on over there and play dolls with Shandy and “n’em, Bunny?”

You glanced over at the girls playing on the next stoop, their braids wilting in the sun. They were playing with stiff dolls with stiff plastic hair and legs that didn’t bend. Not your scene.

You just poked your tongue out at him and moved to stand in the water now dripping out of the hydrant, your strawberry sneakers with the bows getting drenched. You smiled down at them, thinking of how mad your mother would be.

“Aw, c’mon Brock. She ain’t hurtin’ nobody. Let her have some fun.”

Bucky’s blue eyes shone down at you and you pushed up your glasses and looked up at him, squinting in the sun. Stevie’s bony elbow bumped into yours as you hopped to avoid the bruising gush of water along the pavement as they succeeded in their quest.

“Sorry.”

Stevie smiled at you. He really was a nice boy, even though he was pugnacious. Bucky was a smart ass, however.

“You don’t want her to melt, do ya? Your old man would skin you alive.” 

Stevie and Bucky laughed as Brock scowled. He didn’t have time for benevolence or little sisters. He had plans. He shook his head.

“Focus. We gotta stick with the plan. Sammy Wilson is coming over to talk about what’s happening tonight, and she doesn’t need to be around.”

You flipped Brock off behind Bucky and Stevie’s back, and he just scowled harder at you. No matter what you did, he didn’t engage with you like you wanted him to. How boring.

Bucky whistled. 

“Wilson is fast. That dude can run his ass off.”

Sam was on the track team at the high school down the block.

“I can beat him.”

Stevie puffed his bird chest out and Brock and Bucky laughed at him. You felt bad. 

“I believe you Stevie.”

He grinned at you and ducked his head.

Brock rolled his eyes and you flipped him off.

He pointed back at you.

“I’m sick of you. I’m telling Dad.”

You thrilled at the attention.

“Go ahead, I’ll tell him what you’re up to.”

Brock grabbed you by the shirt, snarling.

“You better not say a fucking word.”

You pulled away and landed on the pavement, your knee skinned. You kneeled, bending over to look at it, and to keep your tears inside, when you heard the voice of an angel.

“Need some help?”

You looked up into a face haloed by the sun. You reached for the hand that was offered and stood up to look into the face of 14 year old Sammy Wilson. And you were done for.

That gap tooth smile, those eyes. That skin.

You stared at him as you registered laughter around you. Sam spoke again.

“You okay?”

He seemed like he really wanted to know how you were.

“Y-yeah.”

He chuckled.

“You better clean that off.”

Sam took your hand and led you back over to the hydrant. He kneeled down, cupped water in his hand and cleaned off your knee.

“Sssssss!” 

It stung.

“Sorry. But it’s for your own good.”

You felt warm, and not just from the heat, as you let him take care of you.

You stared at him as he finished.

“That’s the best I can do. You need to get a band-aid.”

“Okay.” 

You would do anything he said. Sam looked up at you and it was like the air was sucked out of your body. You didn’t know what this feeling was, but it intrigued you.

“No problem. I got a little sister at home. Sarah. Just looking out. You gotta be careful.”

He smiled as he stood up and walked away. 

You watched him move over to the other boys, forever changed because that’s when you fell in love with Sammy Wilson.

You spent that last summer in Brooklyn as the unofficial mascot of the Savage Crims, the newest gang on the block. Steve, Bucky, and Sam adopted you and you became scout, lookout, and spy. It was the best summer of your life.

Your mother moved to Los Angeles that fall and took you with her. She started dating more legitimate businessmen, meaning the same type of men as your father, just with generational wealth and privilege.

It was a different world than New York. You went to fancy private schools and learned how to play the game. You were now a “friendly black hottie,” sidekick to the main character in every scene. 

But you were smart. 

As you grew older, you watched and learned and played the part, and soon, you were running the game. By the time you graduated from high school, you were the center of attention, just the way you liked it. 

Your mother was engaged, and you and she were on the cusp of something she’d dreamed of her entire life: being iconic.

You started your first two years in college at UCLA, but you convinced your mother that fashion was how you would enable yourself to meet the best type of men, and that Parsons School of design in New York was the place to be. 

You acted as if you were uninterested in reconnecting with Brock, who your mom thought hadn’t contacted you in eight years aside from telling you that your father had died.

You convinced your mother that you wouldn’t venture off the island of Manhattan, and she believed you because she was in the midst of applying the full court press on her man.

The truth was, you and Brock kept in touch regularly, and you were eager to see your brother again. 

And his friends.

So you flew back East in 2012, 10 years after you left, butterflies threatening to fly out of your mouth as you landed at Laguardia. 

After a few weeks in the city establishing your dominance, you showed up at the boys’offices unannounced. He knew you were in town, and told you about how successful he was now, with the help of Bucky and Steve. 

And Sam. 

You were going to go see just how successful everyone was. 

And how lucky you could get.

“Who the hell is that?”

Bucky peered at the camera about the buzzer to the brownstone. Steve came over to look as well.

“It can’t be… Brock, c’mere.”

“What is it? We’re trying to work out this next shipment…”

Brock looked at the camera as Sam watched his jaw drop from the table.

“Who is it?”

“Fuck! That’s Bunny!”

Brock backed up as Steve pressed the buzzer. He opened the door to wait for you to climb the stairs.

“Stevie!?” 

Your excited shriek was muffled as the now beefy blonde picked you up immediately to twirl you around into the loft space.

You stood back, feeling his muscles through his shirt.

“Wow! You have filled out.”

“I must have learned from you…” 

Steve looked you up and down when you heard a roar in your ear.

“Bunny!”

Bucky gave you a bear hug to where you couldn’t breathe. You pounded his back and punched him in the pecs when he let go. You caught your breath and then turned to Brock, whose eyes were shining.

“God, you’re grown up. You’re not my little Bunny anymore.”

“Shut up, stupid.”

You embraced your brother, surprised at your emotion. You were choking up, about to sob in his arms.

“I missed you.”

You whispered into his shirt.

“Missed you too, kid.”

You let him go and you dabbed at your eyes. You heard someone clear their throat and looked over to see Sam standing next to you.

“Hey Sammy!”

You tried to make your voice light, so as not to betray your feelings. You’d replayed this moment in your mind a million times.

He was a man now. And damn. What a man. Tall, dark and handsome. But with that same smile. 

Sam tried to be cool. Brock was right. You weren’t little any more. A full grown woman. He tried to not check you out because he knew Brock was watching, but damn. You were beautiful. All over.

“Well? Can I get a hug?”

Sam unfroze himself.

“Of course.”

You seemed to melt into him, your breasts pressed against his chest, his lats seeming to mold around you. He could do this all day. 

When Sam opened his eyes, he saw Bucky’s raised eyebrow and he released you, stepping back and over to the table to try and pretend that all of his senses were not tuned on you.

“How’s Sarah?”

Sam smiled.

“Good. You should call her.”

You smiled back

“I will.”

Bucky interrupted.

“Tell me all about your socialite world, Ms.Y/L/N.”

You rolled your eyes.

“Rumlow ‘til I die.”

You locked eyes with Sam.

“Who does a girl have to screw to get a drink around here?”

You joked and the room fell silent.

“No one.” Brock deadpanned. “And you’ll wait another year until you’re legal.” 

You rolled your eyes.

“Yes, like everything is legal up in here.”

It was just like old times: you giving them all hell. Although Sam’s hell was different now. 

Bucky handed you a bottle of water.

“Thanks Buck!” 

You sat and crossed your legs across from Sam and Brock.

“So. How’s things?”

You four talked for hours, ordering pizza from Sal’s and shooting the shit. It was almost midnight when they drew straws to see who would take you home. Sam drew the short straw. 

Lucky him.

You rode in the passenger seat of Sam’s BMW, arms folded across your chest, an adorable bratty pout on your delectable lips. He’d been watching that mouth all night, torturing himself with visions of those in various places on his body. He was getting hard. 

Sam stifled a moan which he tried to play off.

You jumped a little when he growled at you.

“What the hell is wrong with you, little girl?”

You turned toward him, mad.

“First of all, I’m not a little girl any more.”

“Yeah, Right.”

It sounded dismissive, but Sam was really just agreeing with you.

“Second of all, y’all really drew straws to take me home?”

You glared at him as he laughed at your outrage.

“I’m not the little tagalong from years ago. I didn’t even need you to take me home. I could call anyone to come get me. To come get this.”

You held up your flip phone and indicated your body. Sam’s dark eyes took you in and felt possessive. Holy shit, he was in deep. 

“I’m sure you got lots of hardheads after you.” 

Sam clenched his jaw and looked back at the road as he drove to The Village.

“We’re busy men, Bunny. We got important work to do. Brock will be working for a couple more hours, Bucky is running the streets, and Steve probably has a date right now…”

“At 1 am? You mean a booty call.”

Sam continued, ignoring you.

“But what will never change is us protecting you. We’re family, Bunny.”

You pushed his head and he glared at you.

“Same little boys is all I see. Important crimes, you mean.”

You huffed back into your seat, your breasts bouncing in your spandex dress. Sam fought to keep his eyes on the road.

“I’ll show you a little boy. Don’t try me, Bunny.”

You turned back to him, batting your eyes, but your attitude on 1000.

“I’d love to try you Sammy.”

Sam had the urge to take you by the throat and slide you up and down his dick, but he just squeezed the steering wheel harder, trying to ignore you. 

“Hey Sammy.”

He sideyed you. Your voice was too sweet.

“Let’s go get a drink.”

“Fuck no!”

“C’mon, don’t be a prude. I drank all the time in Europe this summer.”

“In case you haven’t noticed, this isn’t Europe, and I don’t give a fuck.”

You sat back in your seat, grumbling and frustrated. He would never see you as anything but little Bunny. By the time you got to campus, you didn’t even wait for Sam to park before you jumped out. He caught up with you, long legs gaining ground quickly. He grabbed your arm.

“Hey!”

“Let me go!”

You turned around and popped him in the nose by reflex.

“Shit!” 

Sam held his face and doubled over.

“Oh, my damn! I’m sorry Sammy. Let me see.”

“Stop…”

Sam pulled away from you and as his hands moved, blood spattered all over his shirt and the concrete below him.

“Oh no. Oh no. I’m so sorry.”

Sam was moving away.

“Just.. leave me alone. I’m okay…”

“No you’re not. I’m sorry Sammy. Come up to my place. Please. I’ll clean you up.”

Sam opened his watery eyes to see your remorseful face and let you lead him up to your apartment, up three flights of stairs. You took him immediately to the bathroom and you washed him up, giving him a wet washcloth and telling him to lean his head forward, indicating the toilet.

Sam sat down and did as he was told, pinching the bridge of his nose.

You sat on the floor below him and stared up at him, hugging your knees.

“I’m so so so so sorry Sammy…”

He looked at you, silent, and continuing to pinch his nose.

You stayed with him for 15 minutes until he stopped bleeding and stood up again, cleaning up a bit more. You felt so bad.

You stared at his shirt as he stood.

“Jeez, Sammy, take that shirt off, let me soak it.”

Sam remained silent, but took off his shirt.

You bent over to get some hydrogen peroxide from the cabinet, scrubbed the shirt a little, then soaked it in cold water.

Sam was watching your ass, almost feral at the fact that you were such a brat. You needed to be tamed. But you were Brock’s kid sister. He was so torn. 

“You can grab a sweatshirt out of my –” 

You turned around toward and stopped mid thought, mind blank at the sight of Sam’s shirtless form.

“Holy shit.”

Sam gave you a lopsided grin.

“You keep sweatshirts in your holy shit?”

You didn’t even hear the tease, just licked your lips as you stepped toward him.

“Sammy?”

Sam gulped and tried to calm down. But the look on your face was everything at the moment. He knew he probably should have, but he didn’t stop you as you entered his space. You reached your hand up to his nose.

“Are you ok?”

“I think so.” 

Sam reached up and manually shifted his nose. 

“Probably just broken for the third time. Been in a couple of scraps.”

Your fingers entwined with his and you brought them to your lips. Tears started to slide down your face.

“I’m sorry.”

Sam wiped the tears from your face with his thumbs.

“Don’t cry. I’m ok.”

He pulled you in for a hug, and then leaned back.

As you looked up at him, he whispered, “So damn beautiful, Bunny…” 

Suddenly, he was kissing your face, collecting your salt water with his lips. Then, he pulled away.

“What are we doing?” 

You began to nuzzle his palm, while your hands reached for his pecs.

“Stop thinking so much, Sammy…”

“Thinking’s what got us into this..”

You nodded.

“D’you know how long I’ve been thinking about this?”

Your eyes followed your hands as they traced his chest, then his sternum down to his happy trail. His stomach clenched at the sensation. He was too far gone.

“How long?”

“From the first time someone tried to be with me sexually. I never really wanted to, I mean I’ve messed around, I can suck your soul out, but I’ve never wanted anyone inside of me.”

You were tracing his hard on outside of his pants, your face upturned now.

“Are you trying to say that…you’re…”

You nodded again.

“You were always in the back of my mind, Sam. I only want you.”

Sam tilted his head downward and captured your lips in a kiss, as though it were inevitable.

You both drew back and then your lips crashed together again, your bodies pressed up against each other urgently.

The kiss was everything you ever imagined and everything Sam didn't know that he wanted. Your hands went for his belt buckle. At that moment, Sam placed his hands on your arms and pushed you away from him.

“We can’t do this.”

You nodded, stepped back and took a deep breath.

“You’re right. You’re one of my brother’s best friends. No need for you to pop my cherry or anything.”

You two stared at each other. Then you licked your lips. Sam cocked his eyebrow, trying to restrain himself from the animalistic urges your filthy mouth gave him.

“You little brat.”

Sam grabbed your neck to pull you close to him. He reached down to pull your skirt up and he rubbed your ass like he was trying to shine it. He then put both hands on you to spread your cheeks apart. Your wetness was evident in the sound. You buried your face in his chest, embarrassed.

“Sounds like you really want this.”

For once in your life, you were speechless, and Sam reached down and angled your head up so he could look at you.

“I need you tonight Sam.”

You kissed him again and tried to get on your knees. But Sam stopped you and led you over to your bed.

“You’re the queen right now.”

You pulled off your dress and stood there in your bra and panties as Sam pulled you toward your bed to lay beside him, his hand caressing down the side of your body. 

He moved his fingers over the lace of your bra to find your nipple, and when it was discovered, he pinched it to see your reaction. The way your eyes closed halfway and your mouth opened was everything. He reached behind you to expertly unhook your bra and looked down on you.

“You're so beautiful.”

And he dipped his head running his tongue around the edges of your areola, making your nipple rock hard against his breath. Then, he started sucking in earnest, his huge hand going to tweak and play with the other. You threw your head back in earnest, the feeling in your cunt growing with each pull of his mouth. You started moaning.

“You mean to tell me…. That no one has ever… had the pleasure…”

Sam asked the important question between having his mouth on you. He couldn’t get enough.

You shook your head and furrowed your brow. It was taking you out of the moment. Sex was just a means to an end for you up until now.

“I suck them off, and they’re satisfied. S’not a big deal….. Ahhhhh.”

Sam stopped what he was doing to look into your eyes. 

“It is a big deal, Bunny. You deserve everything.”

Sam tenderly kissed your lips as he pulled your panties off, and then returned to your breasts. Tears slipped down your face to the pillow beneath your head as he finally parted your legs. His hand, led by his long middle finger slid down your wet, wet folds to play in your slick. 

“Mmmmmm. That’s that shit I like.” 

Sam rumbled in his chest, and the vibrations reached your nipple, causing you to arch into his mouth and hand. Sam’s fingers worked your clit and you could feel it get hard and plucky. You heard the sloshing wetness of your arousal. So did Sam. He pulled off to look at you again.

“You ever play with yourself?”

The look on his face was part possession and part genuine concern.

“Of course. But not this goooddddd…. Shit Sam. I just hit it and quit it…. Fuckkkk that feels good.”

Sam was plucking your nipple with one hand and rubbing your clit in expert circles with the other, watching the ecstasy on your face as you neared your peak. 

“C’mon for me now. Cum. right here in my hand…Yes…. That’s a girl…”

It hit you like a ton of bricks.

“Holy mother of……ssshhhhhhiiiiittttt! Sam! Fuckkkk fuck fuck fuck!”

You tried to grab his hand to move it away, but he was strong. Oh so strong. He didn’t stop.

“Sam… I… Sam stop..I can't…”

“You can, and you will. Take it. You’re tough. You can take it.” 

You convulsed as your pulses slowed down and you tried to relax.

“That’s a girl. Just give it to me. Let me have it. Love that shit. You’re beautiful right now, you know that?”

You calmed under his praise and got into the groove of his pleasure.

Sam’s fingers started exploring you, one of them sliding easily inside you, so he added another, but when he reached the second knuckle, you clamped down hard.

“Shit, Bunny. You’re so so tight.”

Sam looked at you with lust and you could feel his cock throbbing against your thigh, his precum making a mess.

“Thought that first one would have loosened you up. Looks like you need at least one more.”

Your eyes grew wide as he slid down your body, fingers still inside you, but now his mouth clamping around your clit, which was still sensitive. Your knees closed around his head and he pried them off with one hand.

“Take it Bunny. You deserve.”

It was the last thing he said before he destroyed your soul with his mouth. He licked and sucked and lapped, and his fingers slid inside you and curled the spark of pain muted by the fireworks behind your eyes as you came harder than you ever had in your life, including a few minutes earlier.

“Hnnnnh, hunnnnnnhh. Sam…”

He was kneeling up now, grabbing for his pants and a condom. When you saw the foil packet, you stopped him.

“No Sammy. Wanna feel you.”

Sam raised his eyebrow.

“Mom put me on the pill when I was 13. It’s like a vitamin now. I’m good.”

Sam nodded and his thumb went to your still vibrating clit as he swiped his head in your viscous slit. He managed to pop his thicker-than-you-thought head inside you, but you yelped in pain as he tried to slide in.

He leaned down, arms on either side of your head as you clutched his shoulders.

“You good?”

You nodded, tears in your eyes as you smiled.

“I want it, I need it. Give it to me.”

Sam looked at you, shook his head and smiled.

He slid inside you slowly, seeming to grow wider and longer with each inch that he gave you. The burning between your legs was soothed by his praise and tender kisses on your forehead.

“There you go.  Feels so so good for me Bunny. You’re doing so good. I can’t believe this… Make me wanna cum already. This pussy is so tight. And so good. Better than I’ve ever had…”

Sam relaxed you, and you began to enjoy that he was taking you apart. When your moans matched his thrusts was when he started to give it to you, his will power waning.

You were the epitome of desire.

He hiked your leg above his hip so that he could dig deeper and his thumb found your clit again.

“One more Bunny. Just one more…”

He felt you flutter around him and he gripped the base of his cock. 

“Sammy….”

“Yes… oh… fuck yes….”

“Ohhh! Ah!”

Your cream gushed around him as you came and Sam grunted and let go inside you.

“Fuuuuucckkkkkkkk aahhhhhhh ahhhh. Fuck!”

Sam felt like he his balls would never empty and he slumped on top of you, feeling your arms snake around him to hold him.

“Mmmm… Sammy.”

He could hear the smile in your voice. He leaned up off of you and kissed your nose, looking into your eyes.

“Are you okay?”

You smiled at him and Sam’s heart was gone. You had it locked up.

“Better than okay.”

He kissed you again.

“Stay right here.”

He went to the bathroom, coming backwith a washcloth and tenderly cleaned you up. You heard the bath running.

“You’re going to be sore.”

“Yes. I’m going to feel you for a week.”

Sam grinned and you saw his cock come to life. You smirked and gingerly moved ot get out of bed.

“Join me in the bathtub Sammy. Wanna try the wet and wild….”

Sam was hypnotized by the sway of your ass.

He didn’t think of the implications of what just happened. He’d had a taste, and his hunger was voracious. He just wanted you.

And that would become a problem.

Reblogging is always a good thing if you liked it.

[mitskijamie]

i will die mad about the way they ended shandy's story. until then i thought she was going to a mirror of keeley, a rough-around-the-edges girl whose drive and cleverness was going to take her far. and it's extra salt in the wound that they ended up redeeming barbara, who was so nasty to not only shandy but also keeley? even at the end with keeley trying to give her the snowglobe. we deserved an ending where shandy and keeley raise kjpr from the ashes with their own hard work and celebrate by drinking champagne and using jamie like a footstool.

I knowwww right. That whole plotline made me so mad. Like, for one thing, what was the point? That you shouldn't give people a chance and uninformed opinions about people based on stereotypes and preconceived notions are usually true? For another, it was so frustrating to see Shandy as a woman of color narratively punished and written off for a lot of the same things that were treated as cute and quirky when Keeley as a white woman did them. For example, drinking at work. In s2e6, Keeley tells Ted that she's planning on getting drunk in the middle of the day because she "has some creative work to do" and "wants to be a little buzzed for it," but when Shandy does the same thing she gets fired. Very transparent

I actually liked that they redeemed Barbara tbh, because this is The Redemption Show and I do love a weirdgirl, but there's no reason that she should've replaced Shandy as Keeley's business partner. What should've happened (in terms of like. Lassopilled storytelling) is Barbara should've apologized to Shandy for making assumptions about her competence (because she absolutely was being terrible to her!) and been open to learning from and working with her going forward. I actually think Barbara, Keeley, and Shandy had the potential to be a really entertaining trio

[church-of-lilith]

Honestly what does give me a little comfort in kind of a messed up way is the fact that us sapphics aren't exactly alone-they pretty much screwed over EVERY minority lmao: Nate's storyline wasn't really explored and mostly centered around his relationship with Jade, Keeley could have had a whole fish out of water storyline like Ted about winning over her coworkers but instead the focused on her relationship drama, completely wasted Edwin and Shandy's potential for cheap laughs, gave a half assed attempt at writing Sam's storyline only to call him literally getting hate crimed a "big whoop" and never address it again, never actually giving Dani a storyline, like the list goes on and on XD its honestly kind of impressive how they managed to lowkey tear down their entire legacy Omg if you can edit your reddit post you should also mention how the only other sapphic character on the entire show is that creepy dog breeder..

This is so true. It feels like they dropped the ball for every single minority character and the longer you think about it the worse it gets.

Let’s talk Nate for a second because his whole storyline really baffles me. They had him coaching at Westham, and then they had him quit (or was he fired?) from Westham OFF SCREEN? And then suddenly an episode later he’s back as the assistant kitman for Richmond? I’ll never understand why these writers were so dead set on him coming back to Richmond, all so he could just fade into the background. And while I do believe the whole kit man decision was a temporary one, and that going forward they made him a coach again, I don’t like the implication that he worked through his issues this whole season to just end up back where he was. There’s no reason Nate couldn’t have gone off and gotten another coaching job at another team! He’s still the Wonder Kid, clearly has mad skills and credibility, you can’t tell me there isn’t a team who would have wanted him! I understand he had to return to Richmond briefly to have closure and make his apologies, but then he could’ve gone off to coach elsewhere and continued to spread the Lasso Way and change the lives of other people! We didn’t need him at Richmond when basically all the work has already been done. I wish they would’ve given me any indication that he’d really been impacted by this whole arc he went through & then gone off to be the change he wanted to see in the world.

Keeley’s whole storyline being about Jack & the business was such a waste of Juno Temple’s amazing acting, and an underutilization of the fan favorite character we know and love. Most everything about her seemed so off this season? And as you pointed out, she really didn’t even become Miss Independent until the very end when Rebecca took over financing and she was able to make decisions about her own business finally. I would’ve much rather they had Rebecca funding it from the start (or at least earlier in the season) so we could have seen her adventures and misadventures through running her own company that didn’t have anything to do with her messy, exploitative relationship with Jack.

The way I feel about them trying to tackle racism with Sam’s storyline is the same way I feel about them trying to tackle homophobia with Colin’s. If you’re gonna half ass it, don’t do it at all. And they certainly didn’t put half the amount of time and effort they needed to into thinking up how to properly handle Sam’s storyline. We went through the whole hate crime that was never addressed again. And then we had this big problem with Edwin in the final episodes where he was like “I’m going to destroy your entire life and you’ll never make money with the restaurant and you’ll never play for the National team.” And then that was just NEVER addressed again?? Not even a throwaway line about Rebecca taking care of it or something?? He was suddenly playing on the Team and the only explanation we were given from Brendan during the AMA was that it was due to ‘national outcry’ like give me a break. Not to mention we never saw Simi again and so we never got to see if she and Sam ended up together. We were sort of just left to infer that everything worked out for Sam, and that just doesn’t work for me.

Poor Dani Rojas was doomed to be nothing more than a joke from the very start. He deserved more, but at the same time I’m almost glad they didn’t give him more because the storylines this season were awful.

So yeah, feels like all of the minorities on the show lost. I don’t know how the writers managed to do this in so little time, but you’re right it is really impressive.

[youre-in-the-psycho-circus]

Shandi | Two

Warnings: violence, abuse, hardcore action

Word Count: 1,738

Synopsis: The guys of KISS are on a mission from the Elder to find his Avatar in order to save their home Khyscz, and the whole Universe from the threat of the Destroyer. With the help of their powers and music, only She can help them defeat him and restore peace to the universe. An original idea based off of the KISS comics! 

Prologue | 1

Master List

Chapter Two: Almost Human

Ace had Beth stay the night to make sure she was going to be okay. He was worried that this ‘Wicked Lester’, as she called him, might’ve done something more to her than she knew. A human bestowed power by the destroyer surely had no idea how to fully control it. Any potential side effects of the contact that Lester made with her were surely going to show during the night if at all. Ace looked down at the female sleeping peacefully beside him. He ran a hand over her cheekbone smiling softly at the fading bruise. The bit of cosmic energy he let fall from himself to her had already begun to work its magic. Most of the swelling disappeared within the first hour she had been asleep, and at this rate, the injury would be but a distant memory by morning. Ace looked down at his hands as he sat up. The arcane magics and holistic sciences all grappling for a place within the Spaceman’s head were desperately trying to figure all of this out, more importantly, why it felt that the Elder’s energy was so close yet so far. He felt a surge of that power every day early in the morning before the sun came up for a few minutes but he could never pinpoint from exactly where. With Beth laying next to him tonight he could swear that he could hear a crackle of the elder’s magic speaking to him, but then again that very well could’ve been his ‘other head’ talking to him. He hoped that the others were doing better than he was. 

Ace rose from the bed, silently padding his way out to the living room. This couldn’t wait until morning. He stood in the centre of the room, gripping both hands into fists before closing his eyes. Ace was encased with a blue flash of light, his normal starry-eyed bedazzled Spaceman appearance taking hold. With another flash of light, the Spaceman found himself in the Bergen Street Lower-Level Platform once again. Spaceman sat on the edge of the platform concentrating for a few moments before one by one his colleagues appeared. Starchild was first as he stretched with a yawn. A very tired and annoyed-looking Demon followed with a grumble. Finally, a passed out on the floor Catman joined the group. “There better be a good reason this couldn’t wait until morning, Ace,” Starchild muttered as he wiped the sleep from his eyes. 

Demon stood grimacing at the peaceful Catman. As much as he wished he was doing the same at the moment, he was more annoyed than anything that he could sleep through all of this. “Get up you lazy asshole!” He yelled, kicking the Cat. 

Catman yowled, claws jetting out from his fingertips as he made a move to swipe at his attacker before realising who it was. “Oh Gene, it’s just you. I thought it was somebody important.” 

“Now listen here you…” Demon grumbled getting in the Catman’s face before the Spaceman’s blue magics forced the two of them apart.

“Enough. We’re just as tired as the two of you, now if you would just stop bickering we can get back to bed sooner. This meeting of the Order of the Rose will come to order.” Starchild grumbled as he stepped between the two of them. 

“Fine.” They both muttered. 

“What’s this all about anyway?” The demon raised an eyebrow as he crossed his arms across his armour-clad chest. 

“The Destroyer. He’s here, on Earth.” Spaceman replied with a worried look in his eye. The three before him stiffened very slightly at the news. “Or rather his power is here.” 

“How is this possible?!?!” Catman yowled as he ran his claws through his dark hair. 

“You’re sure it’s him?” Demon raised an eyebrow at the starry-eyed man before him. 

“Twenty-five earth years on this planet trying to find the Elder’s avatar and this is the first time you’ve come across his power. Why now? How did you find out?” Starchild continued the questioning. 

“Beth. My neighbour. Her employer is an agent of the destroyer, bestowed with his power.” The Spaceman informed them as he recalled Beth’s story to them.

“Shit, I can’t believe that a mere human has control over a power like that.” Catman looked down kicking at a rock. “She’s alright, yeah? Beth?”

“Yeah, I had her spend the night with me to make sure she was alright. I could sense that some of Wicked Lester’s magic entered her. Feels like a mind control hex was hoping you might be able to pull it from her Gene…” The Spaceman trailed off as he looked down the abandoned tunnel. “That’s not all either.” 

“Don’t tell me. You found the mythical ‘Shandi’ too, didn’t you?” Demon retorted, rolling his eyes. 

The four stood around the Spaceman’s bed glancing down at Beth as she slept peacefully. “What makes you so sure it’s her?” Demon asked as the Catman sniffed at the air trying to see if he came up with whiffs of the arcane magics that supposedly possessed her. 

“I’m not entirely sure but I just sensed something when I felt the tug of the hex within her. The energy surge just felt so similar to that of the Elder’s.” Spaceman explained. “See for yourself.” He gestured to her glancing at the Starchild. 

“Wait.” Demon stopped him. “Lemme remove the hex first. Last thing we need is it bouncing off onto you.” He grumbled before he began to chant in a language foreign to the other three. His eyes turned completely dark as he thrust a hand toward Beth. The others looked on as a crimson mist rose from her lips into the Demon’s mouth. He bit down harshly before blood poured from his mouth. The demon smirked as he closed his eyes, licking at the blood as he opened them, revealing their normal state once more. 

“Is hex removal always this gory?” Catman grimaced. 

“Only the extremely demonically potent ones.” Demon chuckled. “This Wicked Lester, as you call him, has quite a connection to the Demonic powers the Destroyer possesses.” 

Starchild looked down at Beth’s sleeping form. He let out a breath as he closed his eyes. When he opened them, a purple beam shot out from his star-covered eye and scanned over the female from head to toe. Catman sat on the edge of the bed closing his eyes as if he were listening for something. “So is it her?” Demon asked, he was so anxious to get off this planet and kick some Destroyer ass especially after devouring that curse.

The beam retracted back into the Starchild’s eye as he finished his examination. “I don’t know, there’s definitely something different about her energy signature compared to the average human, but I don’t think it's ‘Elder’ equivalent. And even if it is, it’s very weak. No guarantees it’s coming from her, could be the remaining fallout from the Elder himself on your totem you’re sensing. Or maybe others from Khyscz came here before us and she’s a descendant.” Starchild concluded his analysis of the female.

“I don’t know Paul…” Catman grumbled as his head twitched ever so slightly, his brows furrowing in annoyance at the high-pitched whirring sound he picked up on. “I can hear the crackling of the Elder’s Starlight nearby. It always had such a distinct sound, nothing like it in all the cosmos. And the scent of it is quite potent as well.” 

“There’s no way to know for sure, but it’s our best lead on Shandi’s location since we got here.” Demon grumbled looking at the girl’s sleeping form. “Twenty-five long damned years….” 

“That’s only a year to us, though you’re right, Gene. For now, we’ll keep tabs on this girl…” Starchild started.

“Beth.” Spaceman corrected.

“Whatever, we’ll keep tabs on Beth for the time being while we continue our search. If she shows any signs of possessing the starlight, we’ll be ready to help her harness her true power.”

“So now we’re babysitting?” Demon rolled his eyes. “We’re Rock ‘n Roll stars, Cosmic Guards, and councilmen for the Order of the Rose, do we really have time for this?”

“For the time being, yes.” Starchild scolded. 

“Shockingly, I’m with Gene on this one Paul.” The Catman spoke up. “We can’t just be going around thinking someone is the Elder’s avatar. There has to be a way we can be sure or a way we can check at least.” 

“I’m not entirely sure, this would’ve been in the ancient texts in the Elder’s library back on Kyhscz, for obvious reasons we can’t go back there…” Starchild wondered aloud as he looked down at Beth’s sleeping form. 

Spaceman, always sensitive to the cosmic energies, offered his perspective. "We need to be careful. If she truly possesses the Enchanted Starlight, exposure to cosmic forces might awaken her abilities before she’s ready. We need to look for opportunities where her connection can naturally reveal itself."

Demon, the most pragmatic of the group, chimed in. "But we can't just wait around indefinitely. We need a plan, and we need to ensure that she's the real deal. Maybe we can subtly expose her to cosmic events or artifacts associated with the Enchanted Starlight to see if she reacts. If she is Shandi, it might trigger something within her."

Catman nodded thoughtfully. "Yeah, but we have to be careful not to overwhelm her. We need to guide her, not scare her off."

Demon couldn't help but voice his concerns once more. "I still can't believe we're doing this. It's like we're placying cosmic detectives."

Catman let out a chuckle. “Cosmic Scooby-Doo.” Spaceman couldn’t help but let out a laugh himself. Their laughs were silenced as Demon let out a deep throated demonic growl. “Sorry…”

Starchild offered a reassuring nod. "We're navigating uncharted territory. The cosmos is full of mysteries, and we have a duty to uncover them.” Starchild's words resonated with the group, reaffirming their shared mission and the importance of their roles as cosmic protectors. They knew that the path ahead was filled with challenges and uncertainties, but their commitment to uncovering the cosmic mysteries remained unwavering. The four looked down at the sleeping female, blissfully unaware that her entire life was about to turn upside down in the most rock n’ roll way possible. “Beth's destiny and the fate of Khyscz rest in our hands."

Chapter Three: When Lightning Strikes

[troglobite]

one more time for those in the back: pls don't say anything abt the shows i watch. lol

now here are some more Thoughts

okay i went back and watched the first episode of s3 and i FULLY agree w ppl theorizing that ted is gonna go back to kansas at some point this season, and then likely return.

the ENTIRE EPISODE was ted being like why the fuck am i here?

and yes it was spurred on bc of henry--but that seems to be sort of his main concern and motivation in general

he had to take henry to the airport, had to worry abt his flight, asking him directly if he knows why ted's still there

he even asked beard and beard didn't fucking answer him which. INTERESTING.

and then of course henry and the bullying thing and ted panicking and wanting to be back there in the latest ep.

also fun detail, while he's in the airport, the--what do you call the. speaker? speaker. whatever.

the person over the speaker in the airport noted that the flight to amsterdam was delayed. 👀 now what does that mean? lol

also rebecca quite literally says in the first episode TO KEELEY that she HAS grown. she used to want to crush everything rupert loved--and now she just wants to beat him.

what did i say abt that revenge body era? lol

it's not perfect but christ, again, it's only been 2 years after a TWELVE YEAR MARRIAGE and he is constantly antagonizing her in public. i'd be still hurt and pissed, too.

other thoughts!

nathan. [stares]

yeah honestly it'll be interesting. there's not much to say that hasn't already been said.

but basically rupert is clearly trying to manipulate and control him into a little mini-me that will win everything for him. the car, the look, the office, ms. kakes, etc.

yes also we get the foreshadowing of the tinted window in keeley's office in this episode.

orgasm for the soul is said in the same place that, undoubtedly, keeley & jack have regular orgasms later on. lol

but also she had to schedule time to cry--and later in these next few eps we see that. well. it seems maybe she has a little more wiggle room if she manages to get caught up w jack, etc. lol

also what is WITH barbara and jack? and barbara in general? less so the second one. but the investor sent her over as the cfo. so i'm. hm.

also keeley not knowing what cfo is, and later not knowing what position to give to shandy, officially.

again, she's not stupid--she just doesn't know the ins and outs bc she wasn't raised in that shit.

also idk it's interesting there's a parallel w keeley and nathan in that they both have a person from their past who's reminding them of where they came from

for nathan, it seems to go well w jade at the restaurant--friends or dating. thematically, makes sense.

for keeley, shandy doesn't work out so great. and i'm REALLY wondering what the final takeaway will be about that relationship and how things fell apart. bc believe me, it's not over.

also obviously leslie saying at the beginning they should look to get new blood--initially ted vetoes the idea. doesn't seem to think they need it.

but he just sort of. rolls over. lets it happen. says you got it, i'll be flying like a butterfly stinging like a bee all season, etc.

and his entire conversation w the doc over the phone that i only half paid attention to the first time bc him trimming his nose hair was. Gross. lol

but he literally says

what if i'm doing more harm than good

what if they'd be better off without me

what if i'm holding them back

she says to him "you don't quit things"

as a literal answer--part of why he's there.

everyone is echoing to him the reasons he's offered for staying. he doesn't quit, it's to win the whole fucking thing (as rebecca AND henry remind him).

so yeah i absolutely agree, i think ted is going to leave.

it will. potentially. break the fucking team. they just love him so much. i have no other thoughts or ideas abt how that would go. but it does feel absolutely certain.

also of course higgins suggesting new blood does also foreshadow him suggesting that ted is actually the problem w the team.

and he IS out of it and FEELS out of it and is just questioning his entire purpose there.

meanwhile jamie is soaring, flying, brilliant colors. he's doing GREAT! he's internalized ted's message and ethos, but with his own style. he cares abt the team. he kept his confidence and sometimes allows his ego out.

BOTH times the team starts getting worried in the locker room, it's JAMIE who calms everyone down.

he's not a mini-ted--but he's a very enlightened little jamie! and i'm proud of him.

also would you believe i forgot until this very moment that jamie has that whole stint on a reality tv show and then has such an attitude problem that no teams and no tv shows and no pr firms even want him anymore? and THAT'S how he ends up back at richmond? i completely fucking forgot until this very moment.

anyway, jamie's doing really well, right off the bat.

ALSO

we get TWO hints abt roy's uncertainty having to fill in for nate's position. "i know i'm not a tactical genius like nate" and then keeley saying "roy i know you're worried abt that but--"

very interesting.

roy is insecure.

he has been since the beginning.

and it often seems the anger overcompensates for that.

and yet in those moments, he doesn't have a lot of anger. he looks at keeley like he's HURT, not angry--bc when is he ever angry at her, anyway?

but like he's HURT that she would try and comfort him. as if to say "really? now?"

which. is interesting. bc she says they're on a break, and he says they've broken up.

and yet--

at the end of season 2. it was roy being a big ol baby that keeley wouldn't take two weeks off for vacation with him, and keeley being like "babe, i have to start my own business. i'm gonna be busy."

like. i guess that's not a "and yet" moment.

that's roy.......realizing how badly he needs so much support and how insecure he is. how much he needs to be someone's priority.

we haven't ever met phoebe's mom, and she says that her parents got divorced when she was four. "one of my core beliefs is that nothing lasts forever"

is roy..........

maybe feeling some of the stuff he imagines phoebe might? he has to be there for her bc her mom is--

way. too busy. for her.

yeah. okay. that makes sense. lol

perhaps he wanted a clean cut. even though they agreed that she could still hang out with keeley. ostensibly....

yeah it's interesting.

what else?

beard and roy bonding is nice.

also the hoosiers reference.

interesting. little details are similar.

i'm just sort of. thinking and wondering. what elements are going to be thematically relevant and compelling throughout this season. bc that seems. deliberate.

ALSO realized that season 1 also included/featured ted's getting ready routine--but it was to get ready for bed, instead. this one is to get ready for work.

[stares]

i've connected the dots

you haven't connected shit

i've connected them

[stares at the empty spot where an answer to 'so what?' should be]

HMM!!!!

anyway.

thinky thoughts.

ALSO idk if it was. intentional or relevant.

when they went to the sewer--also ted says that henry wanted to go in order to face his fears. roy says that's fucking smart.

[squints purposefully]

okay anyway when they go to the sewer, the first players to climb down seem to be plot-relevant for the season, which of course makes sense.

but then isaac is on one far end

and colin is on the other

i think roy and jamie are near each other??? idk

basically i am Paying Attention. lol

okay i think that's everything.

[isitgintimeyet]

Just A Friend

The response to this story has been lovely, so thank you all for reading. liking, reblogging and commenting on this piece of fluff. Hope you continue to enjoy.

Thanks to @wickedgoodbooks for the beta

AO3

Previous

Chapter 6: From Irritation to Interrogation

And just like that, we’re friends, Jamie and I. It’s strange how quickly you can go from strangers to acquaintances to friends. After that walk in the park, something seems to have clicked with us, there’s an ease in our friendship that doesn’t happen too often. Despite our vastly different upbringings, we have many things in common: a shared love of irreverent comedy, a fondness for very good quality chocolate and wine and a determination to succeed in our chosen careers.

Of course, it helps that we don’t have the whole fancying-sexual-tension-romantic thing lurking in the background. As I’ve said before, Jamie is not my type and, judging by the pictures on his Facebook timeline, I am definitely not his, which appears to be doe-eyed, tanned, petite blondes— their pneumatic breasts frequently struggling to break free from their restraints. No tall, wild-haired brunettes with only-slightly-above-average breasts usually firmly encased in sensible lingerie.

I may even invite him to Geillis’ wedding as my plus one. We’ll see. I don’t think I’ll be dating by then, I quite fancy a few months without any of those complications.

********

One of life’s pleasures, for me, when I’m not on-call, is to walk to the local newsagents on a Sunday morning for the newspaper. If it’s fine, it’s another opportunity to sit on my balcony and read it at my leisure. A mug of freshly brewed coffee and a cinnamon bun enhances this experience.

Today, it’s not so fine, but sitting on my sofa while listening to the rain pounding against the window is pretty good too. I’m just about to start the crossword when my phone rings. I quickly swallow my mouthful of bun and glance at the screen—private number. I offer up a silent prayer that it’s not the hospital as I answer it.

“Claire Beauchamp?” The female voice sounds familiar.

“Yes.” I answer cautiously.

“Jes’ a wee word of warning. Karma can be a bitch, ye ken.” The voice grows louder and angrier. I recognise that tone, last heard berating Jamie. “Ye’ll get what ye deserve. Ye canna trust James Fraser, but ye’ll find out soon enough—the hard way, like I did… thanks tae ye.”

“Look, I—“ I begin, but before I can finish my sentence, she’s gone.

My initial reaction is irritation. Laoghaire, no doubt looking around for someone to blame for her recent break up, has cast me in the role of home wrecker, clearly using my carefully honed feminine wiles to lure Mr. Fraser from her clutches. Like Frank, she can’t quite believe that anyone could break up with her, without there being another waiting in the wings, ready and willing to take her place.

My irritation dissipates as I begin to see the funny side of this. She’s obviously thought long and hard about this—checking his Facebook friends, keeping records of his phone calls when they were together. Perhaps she sees herself as Jennifer Aniston against my Angelina. I hope Jamie can see this for what it is and laugh. Besides, in this scenario, that makes Jamie what? Brad Pitt?

*****************

Two days later, Jamie and I have arranged to have a quick drink after work in a mutually convenient bar. Summer has not yet returned to the city. Whilst not actually raining, the air is damp and there’s a definite nip in the air. I do a cursory check of the outdoor seating, just to see whether Jamie is heroically braving the elements, but there’s no sign of him.

I make my way into the bar and have a quick walk around before snagging a corner table. The seats are comfortable and it’s in a prime position for me to keep an eye out for his arrival. This bar has always been one of my favourites in the city. It feels grounded, like it’s been here forever. The stone walls and dark oak beams are unchanging and watching the inebriated trying to negotiate the uneven wooden floor on their way to the toilets always makes for good entertainment. In fact, people come from miles around to marvel at its very crookedness.

I check my phone for any messages. There’s one from Geillis, accepting my invitation for girls’ night on Friday at my flat. I reply and put the phone down just in time to see Jamie heading toward me. He’s obviously come straight from work as he’s still in his navy blue suit and white shirt. I’ve come straight from work too but am not nearly so smartly dressed. Having worn my blue scrubs all day, I’m now clad in jeans and a wrap around top which used to be orange, but has faded to a light amber colour. I feel somewhat underdressed next to him.

“Drink?” He asks, before even sitting down.

I nod. “I’m parched. Think I’ll have a shandy, please.”

“Lager shandy? Half pint?”

“Bitter,” I clarify, not being a great believer in girlie drinks. “And pint.”

He returns a couple of minutes later with a pint and a packet of crisps in each hand.

He takes a huge slug of beer. “Sae, what do ye ken? What’s new wi’ ye?”

And so, I recount my day of surgery to him. And, bless him, he looks interested all the way through my narration. He does turn a bit pale as I begin to explain my use of the bone mallet and chisel, and his crisps remain untouched, but he soldiers through.

“In other news,” I change the subject as his colour returns and he rips the crisps open. “I had an anonymous phone call from your ex, warning me about you and blaming me for your break up. But, never fear, I’ll get what’s coming to me when you do the same to me—“

A bout of coughing from Jamie breaks into my conversation.  I get up and thump his back a couple of times. The coughing stops as he takes a swig of beer.

“Sorry,” he clears his throat and continues. “Crisp stuck in ma throat. She did what? How does she ken who ye are?”

“Presumably she kept a record of your phone calls and is monitoring your Facebook friends. Maybe you need to check your phone, see if she’s set up any other little apps so she can track where you are or what you’re doing.”

He shakes his head. “Aye, I’ll do that. I canna believe she would go tae such lengths. Although…” he pauses for a moment. “... mebbe I can. She was always the, er, suspicious type—asking me about women at work, convinced they were ready tae pounce on me. Perhaps I’m not the best judge of character, Claire. Ye need tae advise me.”

I laugh. “Ok. I’ll be your wingman, if you like. Or vet all your potential girlfriends. How about that?”

Jamie joins in with the laughter. His eyes twinkle and it’s funny the way he wrinkles his nose as he laughs.

“How about you? How’re the Spanish influenced dinners going? What are you up to?” I ask him.

“The plans are going grand. We’ve three dinner options planned out.” As usual, his face lights up as he explains the various menus to me.

“They all sound delicious. I’m looking forward to trying them.” And that's the truth.

“Weel, funny ye should mention that. We are looking fer people willing tae test them. How about it? Fancy trying one out? This week, mebbe? Free, of course.”

My weekend plans are getting better and better. Girls’ night at my flat could be turning into a bit of a Spanish fiesta, a mini replay of our Barcelona trip.

“I’d love that. Thanks. I’m having Geillis, Mary and Anna ‘round on Friday for a catch up. I could give you their opinion on the meal too.”

Jamie types something into his phone. “Great, I’ll sort it. So, good weekend plans then?”

“Oh yes, what about you?”

“Oh, I’ve got a sort of date type thing,” he mumbles into his pint and, to my surprise he goes a little bit red. Is he worried about telling me? Does he think that I will mind?

“That’s nice...isn’t it?”

“I dinna ken, really. I… I suppose so. It’s ma sister, Jenny’s, idea.  A friend of hers from university. Ma sister canna quite believe that I’m no’ yet married and she keeps trying tae make it happen. And Jenny, weel, let’s jes’ say that she’s a force of nature. Ye dinna want tae mess wi’ her.”

***************

I’m not exactly the most gifted cook, but I think it would be hard to go wrong with the box of food and wine that Jamie has delivered. The asparagus is waiting to be cooked, the mouth-watering smell from the simmering  chicken and chorizo fills my flat and bowls of juicy Spanish olives— some plain and some with garlic and chilli are dotted about the dinner table. Feeling inspired, I root out a large jug and begin to cut up fruit for sangria.

Like alcohol-seeking missiles, I’ve no sooner prepared the sangria when the doorbell rings. With many hugs, Geillis, Mary, Anna and I greet each other. I accept their gifts of wine, chocolate and flowers as we head into the flat.

As usual, everyone gravitates to the kitchen as I pass the drinks around, complimenting me on the wonderful aromas. Geillis’ stomach rumbles in eager anticipation.

When the four of us are together, the conversation flows as freely as the wine. Honestly, you would swear that we had not seen each other for months, when, in fact, I saw Anna on Tuesday in theatre, and squeezed in a coffee catch-up with Mary and Geillis only two days ago. The topics we cover are wide-ranging and random. Sangria and olives are accompanied by Anna’s search for a new flat, then the conversation turns to the destructive tendencies of Mary’s kitten as I serve the asparagus and Serrano ham starter.

For the main course, we have the tale of Geillis’ father refusing to wear a kilt for her wedding—he is prepared to don tartan trews but, according to Geillis, that will spoil the whole symmetry of the wedding photos. Neither, at the moment, seem willing to back down but, having known Geillis for so many years, it’s obvious to me who will win.

By the time I bring out the selection of Spanish biscuits and turrón, the conversation has moved on to men, more specifically Mary’s crush on a locum doctor newly arrived in the department. There’s a lot of good natured teasing about this—Mary seems to develop a new crush every couple of weeks, and why not?

Geillis drains her wine and turns to me. “Fantastic meal, Claire. Better than yer usual offerings.”

She pulls me close to her as she says this, and squeezes my arm to show she’s joking.

“Well, I have to confess. I did have a bit of assistance. I mean, I did the cooking, apart from the cookies, but everything came from FraserFood.”

“In that case, give me those chocolates back. I’m no’ sure ye’ve earned them.”

“But I have,” I moan. “I did all the cooking…and made sangria.” I reach across Geillis and help myself to another biscuit. They are melt-in-the-mouth delicious.

“It’s part of a new range they’re launching,” I try to explain as Anna and Mary start to squabble over the last biscuit. “Three course dinner party boxes. Everything you need. Jamie asked if I would test one of them out—“

Immediately Anna and Mary shut up, the last biscuit now abandoned on the plate.

“Woo-hoo,” Anna grins at me.

Geillis nudges me in the ribs. “Jamie, is it? And what else has Jamie given ye, eh?”

“Nothing, we’re friends, that’s it.”

“But we’ve seen pictures of him. Don’t ye want there tae be more tae it? I mean, c’mon look at him.” Now Mary joins in the questioning.

I sigh. “We can just be friends, you know.”

“Friends with benefits, mebbe?” Geillis isn’t giving up.

“No, just friends. Although…” my friends lean forward expectantly, perhaps awaiting some heartfelt confession from me, as if I’d suddenly realised my undying love, or, at least, a good bit of lust for Mr. Fraser. They’re going to be disappointed.

“...Although, I suppose you could say this free food and drink is a benefit. So,yes, I guess that makes us friends with benefits.”

Anna and Geillis look as if they don’t believe me, but say nothing. Mary isn’t prepared to drop the subject.

“So,” she starts. “So, suppose I meet yer—“

“Not mine,” I mutter under my breath.

Mary shrugs her shoulders and continues, “—yer Jamie Fraser. And suppose he asks me out and one thing leads tae another… ye’re telling us that ye wouldna mind?”

“No, I wouldn’t mind. Might be a bit awkward if you break up. I mean, can I still be friends with both of you?”

Geillis, laughing, joins in now. “Suppose our Mary marries Jamie Fraser and asks ye tae be a bridesmaid. Would ye mind then?”

I pretend to give this some thought. “Ah, now that does depend. Just how awful will the bridesmaid dress be, Mary?”

“Och, just hideous. We’ll be having a Disney themed wedding.”

All talking and laughing at once, we try to decide which would be the worst Disney outfit for a bridesmaid and finally settle on Moana.

I get up from the table to go and make coffee, but not before making one final statement on the whole platonic situation with Jamie.

“Look, I know it’s hard to believe, but I have no romantic interest in Jamie and neither does he. In fact, he told me that he’s got a date this weekend and that’s totally fine with me.”

Geillis grabs my hand in passing. “Ok, as long as ye’re fine. We jes’ dinna want ye getting hurt, Claire. We love ye too much fer that.”

I smile at my closest friends gathered around my table and feel a rush of warmth and love for them too. They’re my family, these girls, and, for all the joking and teasing, they have my best interests at heart.

“I know. Thank you for looking out for me. But, Jamie and I are friends, nothing more.”

And with that I head into the kitchen, giving Anna, Mary and Geillis, no doubt, the opportunity to continue to speculate about Jamie’s and my friendship. But really I don’t mind, they’ll get fed up soon enough when they see I’ve been telling the truth all along.

[blossom--of--snow]

Angst/Fluff: #76-“You’re not alone” for Shandy, please! 😍

Thanks for the ask, and I hope you like this! <3 

When Willie Rae asked Sharon to summon Lieutenant Flynn for dinner, she couldn’t find it in her to refuse. Being Brenda’s friend certainly had its challenges, but Sharon appreciated being treated like a human being with feelings by at least one person in the building.  

Ten minutes before, Flynn had stepped out of the murder room with his phone in hand, so Sharon knew she would find him in the midst of a private and potentially heated conversation. If his grumbling to Provenza had any merit, Flynn’s ex-wife was the fortunate soul on the other line. Still, considering Sharon should have been drinking hot cocoa with her kids in her parents’ living room by now, she empathized with Flynn.

Such a shame, she thought as she stalked down the hall toward the break room. Other than the Rick Zuman debacle, Andy Flynn has been a moderately good boy this year.

When the sound of shattering ceramic broke the hall’s silence, Sharon stuttered to a halt three steps from the break room door. After convincing herself that Flynn wouldn’t throw anything else, Sharon squared her shoulders and opened the door. She found him crouched behind the island counter covered in Willie Rae’s cooking appliances, cursing and tossing the pieces of the Christmas mug he’d shattered into a trash can to his right.  If not for his red face, Sharon would have stayed in the doorway, but fear for his blood pressure prompted her to help him. So far, the only catastrophe they’d avoided was a medical emergency, and by God that wouldn’t change until Sharon ate a plate full of mashed potatoes, turkey, and green bean casserole.

As Sharon knelt next to him, Flynn stared, apparently amazed by an act of human kindness. Since neither life nor Sharon had always been kind to Andy Flynn, she couldn’t tell if the act or the actor surprised him more.

“I’ll help you with the mug, but I won’t pick your jaw off the floor, Lieutenant,” she said with a wry smile.

Flynn recovered quickly. “As long as this doesn’t go on report, I’ll pick it up all by myself, Captain.”

“Don’t worry,” Sharon sighed, adding another piece of Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer to the pile in her hand. “I’m leaving the office after dinner, and you’ll be free of me until the New Year.”

Flynn held out his hand for Sharon’s shards, the last of the lot, and tossed them into the bin. Rather than rising, however, he sat with his back against the gray cabinets and his arms hanging over bent knees. “Sorry, Captain. I’m not mad at you.”

Deciding to bask in this rare apology, Sharon sat across from him, leaning against the wall of the island. “I know.” She recognized Flynn’s dejection from the few times Jack took passing interest in the kids, but not enough to kick his addiction. Only Flynn didn’t deserve the same treatment.

Pinching the bridge of his nose, Flynn took a few deep breaths, a precaution Sharon had never known him to take for her sake. “My kids are upset. And they should be. This was the first time in years that I had the opportunity to prove myself, and I let them down again.”

Sharon cocked her head, fighting the many images of her own disappointed children, hoping to be more important than wine or whisky, just once. “The circumstances were outside of your control. I was under the impression that in the past, that wasn’t the case. Your kids are old enough now to appreciate the difference.”

Flynn’s noncommittal grunt indicated his disagreement, but he didn’t offer another response.

“Things may not have turned out how you planned, but you have a room full of coworkers, willing to spend what is left of their holiday with you.”

Flynn snickered, dropping his hand. “They don’t exactly have a choice.”

Raising her eyebrows, Sharon said, “They do.”

Flynn’s typical bitterness, which had been absent since the start of their conversation, resurfaced, and Sharon knew her window was closing. “Right. So you’d rather go home and wallow in your hovel?”

These jabs always stung, and every time, she hoped for a different feeling, a stronger response. “Believe it or not, Lieutenant, I enjoy having time to myself.”

“Not on Christmas you don’t.”

“No, and that’s why I’m still here.” When Andy stared past her, Sharon snapped her fingers. “Hey. Look at me.” Again, his shock overpowered his anger. “You’re not alone, Andy. Unlike me, you have people here tonight who love you, and I refuse to let you mope in here and dwell on what you wish you had instead.”

It amazed her how easy it was to talk to him without Chief Johnson whispering conspiracies in his ear.

“Wow.” For once, Andy Flynn uttered the word without contempt or sarcasm. Sharon gulped when she detected concern. “Listen, we may be assholes, but it’s Christmas. We can be nice.”

Sharon snorted, choosing to ignore Flynn’s assumption that her happiness revolved around how the Major Crimes Division treated her. “Yes, because your behavior over the last couple of days is evidence of that.”

“The days before Christmas don’t count,” Flynn said, offering her the mischievous grin that used to precede a biased account of his antics. He had been angry with her for so long that she couldn’t remember the last time she saw that smile.

“An important distinction to everyone in that room, I’m sure.”

Flynn regarded her with a tilt of his head and an oddly compassionate look. When they first met, before decades on the force turned him into a cynic, he used to wear that expression often.  “Why don’t you sit with me? Provenza depresses me this time of year, and he’s probably your worst enemy out there.”

Cocking an eyebrow, Sharon crossed her arms over her chest. “Does this offer come with a promise of human decency, in the spirit of the season?”

Without a word, Flynn clambered to his feet and held out his hand, just inches from her knees. “I’m not heartless.”

Grasping his hand, Sharon hauled herself to her feet. “No, you’re not. I wish you’d let people see that.”

Flynn stared at the scuffed tile between them and stuffed his hands in his pockets. “The people that count the most won’t ever see it.”

“They will.” When Flynn shook his head and took a step toward the door, she tried again. “Andy. They will.” You’re trying, she wanted to add. So many fathers don’t. She waited until he nodded in concession before adding, “But in the meantime, it wouldn’t hurt to show a few other people that matter.”

When Flynn cleared his throat, Sharon knew her window had closed. “Mrs. Johnson won’t start without us, but who are we to keep her waiting?”

Offering him a tight smile, Sharon brushed past him, hoping that his offer of civility still stood. Between Willie Rae and Flynn, Sharon could salvage this Christmas.

[ladyshandioftheendless]

~KISS AU writings 2~

Seriously, guys. I spent most of my convention weekend planning this out. These writings mean A LOT to me. They spark so much joy~

~Shandi

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~COFFEE SHOP AU~

Featured Pairing: Ace Frehley/Eric Carr

Summary: Eric has one particularly handsome (and flirty) regular customer at his new coffee shop..and finds himself falling hard. (told from Eric’s POV)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I see him every day. 

He comes in about an hour after I open carrying his guitar case. He orders his usual. The amount of espresso shots he asks for depends on how much sleep he’d gotten the night before. When I give him his cup he smiles, says ‘Thanks, Curly~’, winks at me and leaves. That’s his favorite nickname for me. Every time he calls me that I get butterflies. He’s been a regular for nearly three months now. As a matter of fact he was my first customer when I opened. He would always say how grateful he was about an actual decent coffee shop opening up in the Bronx. Apparently I’d picked a good location as coffee seemed to be a godsend for all the musicians living in the area. I’d never thought I’d be so successful in my first business venture. All thanks to him for putting the word out. Even when I’d hired more employees I’d always serve him personally. He was special. I..think I like him..a lot.

But I don’t know how to tell him..or if I should.. Heck, I'm too nervous to even ask him his name.

The next morning he’s at my door a few minutes after I open. He’s early. Must be a special occasion. When he comes in I get a better look. The way he’s dressed is very flattering to his lanky figure and echoes his fondness for all things space related. He even has a fancy new black guitar case with ACE FREHLEY stenciled in silver on the side along with a lightning bolt in between the words. So that’s his name.. “Good morning~” I greet him when he comes up to the counter after setting his case on a table. When he smiles at me my cheeks heat up..and oh god his cologne smells heavenly. “Uhh…you..want your usual..? You look great, by the way~ You got a gig?” Ace (I’m unreasonably happy that I don’t always have to say ‘he’ or ‘him’ anymore) nods, drumming his fingers rhythmically on the counter. “Potential gig at the moment but once I rock this audition it’s all but guaranteed. Wish me luck, hah~?” Of course I do. I’ve never heard him play personally but I’m certain he’s talented as hell by the way he carries himself. I want nothing but the best for him. I glance back at him with a smile while I make his coffee. “You’ll get it. I just know you will. They’d have to be crazy not to hire you~” When I set his cup on the counter there’s a twinkle in his eyes when he slightly tilts his head while looking at me. It’s so attractive I can feel my heart rate speeding up. “Y’know I believe you when you say that~” he says, putting a straw in his cup and taking a sip. “How ‘bout I come back around the time you close to drop the news..and I take you out for dinner if I get it~?” I suddenly forget how to breathe. Is he serious? Like..a date? How can I possibly say no? When I only answer with a nod he laughs, taking his cup and going back to the table to pick up his case. “I’ll see you later then, Curly. Dress pretty~” With a wink he’s out the door and gone. 

What. Just. Happened? 

Did I really just make a date with him? 

I take a small break so I can recompose myself. 

When closing time came around I was a wreck. I’d rushed back to my place 2 hours ago to freshen up and change my clothes. ‘Dress pretty.’, he said. I don’t think I have anything in my wardrobe that’s pretty but I tried my best. I’m dressed plainly: just a black button up shirt and black slacks. It’s been a long time since I’ve been out with anyone. Not since..high school maybe? I don’t even remember. Kinda pathetic really. Maybe my dry spell will finally end tonight. While I’m locking up I see Ace coming towards me. He’s got such a confident swagger when he walks that’s incredibly sexy~ I’m about to say hello when he sets down his case and pulls me into a tight hug, lifting me off the ground. “Curly you are my good luck charm!” he shouts as he spins me around. “Thanks to you I’m gonna be playin’ in the best club in the Bronx!” My heart nearly explodes with joy. He’s actually thanking me for getting him his new job. I think I’m gonna cry. I think I am crying. When he finally sets me down I wrap my arms around his waist and hug him properly, sobbing like a little girl. I feel his chest vibrate as he laughs. “Aww are you cryin’ for me? That’s so cute~” Oh good..now I’m embarrassed. I’m glad he can’t see my face. Until I feel his fingers under my chin to lift up my head. He wipes my tears away with his thumb. His touch is so gentle it gives me shivers. “I think I know what’ll make you feel better..some dynamite New York style pizza~” If he was setting out to make me laugh he succeeded. He’s so charming~ “ I would love that~” 

Ace takes my hand and leads me to his favorite pizza place. I start praying that my palm doesn’t get sweaty. It feels way too good holding hands with him. As soon as we go in the hostess greets him by name. He’s obviously a regular here too~ She seats us and gives us menus. I’m trying to figure out what I want..I’m really trying..but I can’t stop staring at him. I love the dreamy spaced out look he has when he concentrates. Then he looks straight at me..and I’m just about ready to die of humiliation. Dammit he caught me staring! What is he gonna think?! I sink low in my seat and hide my face with my menu. Now I remember why I haven’t had many dates. “Order whatever you want, Curly. I’m buyin’~” I peek out from the top of the menu. He’s looking at me with that smile that makes my stomach do flips. He’s just finding all of this amusing isn’t he? “I..I’d love to..share a pizza with you..” I say, trying to will my voice not to shake. “Sure~ I’m in the mood for a big one anyway. What d'ya want on it?” I look over all the topping options and feel a bit overwhelmed. There’s so many! No wonder he likes this place so much. Maybe..just something simple. “Ah.. pepperoni is fine.” I smile. Ace set his menu down. “Nice an’ simple. I like that. I’ll get us a huge one~” It’s like he can read my mind. When the waitress comes over I ask for water, Ace gives her our pizza order and asks for a beer. I’m not really big on drinking but it’s a special occasion so what the heck? I order a beer too. I see Ace grinning at me from out of the corner of my eye. I think he was hoping I’d do that. We can toast~ 

When our drinks arrive Ace takes his glass and holds it up. I do the same. “To your new job!” I say happily and we clink our glasses together. I take one small drink. He downs half his glass. Wow. I guess he has quite the talent for drinking as well. We make small talk until our pizza comes. It smells so good and we’re starving. We both dig in. Between the two of us we finish off the entire thing. We sit for a while and wait for our food to settle. Ace looks at me again after he finishes his beer and sets the empty glass down. “D’you like me, Curly~?” His question is so direct it catches me off guard. I blink at him. I can’t seem to form words. He smirks..and I feel his foot go between mine…up my calves..my knees..when did he take his shoe off..? There’s a provocative edge to his half-lidded gaze that I can’t tear my eyes away from. When his foot goes between my thighs my breath hitches in my throat. He’s not..really going to.. No, Ace!! We shouldn’t do this here!! The way his toes move against my crotch is driving me crazy. I’m squeezing my eyes shut. My cheeks are burning hot. I’m biting my lip. I’m squirming in my seat. It’s too much…but I don’t want him to stop. 

“Does that feel good, Curly~?” His voice is low and teasing.

“I…oh god..” I’m panting. I don’t even recognize my own voice now. 

“I want you to cum for me…right here~” 

“Ace..”

“Can I get you gentlemen any dessert?” Of course the damn waitress would come over now. Through my hair I see Ace just look up at her and smile politely. “Not this time..we’ll just be takin’ the check~” How can he be so calm while he’s doing this to me?! When she leaves again I hear him laugh. “I’ve already got my dessert~” I can only whimper in reply. I’m so close now. One last push of his foot against me makes me lose all control. I lean over and press my forehead against the table, letting out moan that I’m hoping nobody heard. After the initial euphoria wears off I find myself mortified. I just came in my pants in the middle of a restaurant. I’m now glad I decided on wearing black. I quickly excuse myself and rush to the restroom. I could swear I hear Ace’s laugh behind me. That man is crazy! I go to the sinks and look at my flushed face in the mirror. “You..just let a guy you barely know give you a foot job in a public place..” I chastise myself. “Did you stop him? No. Did you like it? ……. Yes..” It was true. I did like it. I liked that he was giving me the attention I’d been wanting from him. Of course I would’ve preferred it with..less of a potential audience but still.. Am I crazy too? If I am Ace Frehley is definitely not a cure. I’m completely okay with that~

When I return Ace still has that smug look. I playfully smack his shoulder as I pass him and slide back into my seat. “You enjoyed that waaaaay too much~” He shrugged. “I didn’t hear any complaints on your end~ I already paid so we can go whenever you want.” I nod. I need to get home asap so I can get out of these clothes. He walks me back to my place. We’re holding hands again and it feels wonderful~ When we reach my door I start getting nervous again. He notices, sets down his case and takes both of my hands. “Relax, hah? I’m not gonna bite ya..unless you want me to~” Before I can retort his lips are pressed against mine. Oh. Oh my god he’s kissing me. Ace is kissing ME. I close my eyes and melt against him as I let his tongue inside my mouth. He’s so damn good it should be a crime. It’s hot and passionate and everything that I want. When he finally pulls away I actually whine at the loss of contact. His soft laugh is lovely to my ears. “G'night, Curly~ Once I start workin’ at the club you’ll get a special invitation. Until then seeya in the morning for coffee~” I watch him leave as I dig out my keys from my pocket. An invitation? To see him play? I can’t wait~

To Be Continued!!

[topmodelranking]

#4 – Shandi Sullivan

The top 4 was completely clear. Never any doubt in my mind about that. Their order was a lot more questionable. It is one of those time I’d be happy with pretty much any outcome, as it really was that close this time around. Shandi was the original transformation; she was exactly what ANTM was about. Taking a plain Jane with potential and turning them into the next top model. Shandi had all the raw ingredients, and after her makeover polished her off she took off. She started strong, but over time just became more refined, elegant, and like an actual top model. It was pretty much an upward climb all cycle, and Shandi really performed throughout. She managed to excel where no one would expect, like the music video. Shandi was just killing it. Her runway walk was the most questionable area, and sort of remained questionable until the end. It certainly did improve though, and with time I believe Shandi could have slayed the runway with the same force she killed photoshoots. She had the body and look; it was just time and practice needed. Shandi definitely proved she was a threat though.

Shandi’s look fit more into the blank canvas role, with a slight high fashion edge, so it is no surprise she killed pretty much every photoshoot. The underwater shoot was probably the roughest spot, but I don’t hate the photo. Shandi looks pretty, even if there is a little bit more drowning woman than I would have liked. Had the limbs been fully extended I think Shandi would have nailed it though, so not much needed to change. Her best photograph is a toss-up between those she took in Milan. Her Solstice Sunglasses shot is just incredible; she nailed the body language, while keeping the face strong too. That is probably her strongest individual piece of modelling, but her nude shot with Yoanna is my favourite photo of her. She may not look as good, but the connection between her and Yoanna just pushes it over the edge. Shandi contributes as much as Yoanna did, and deserves as much credit for creating a sensational photograph.

Honestly, it seemed like Shandi was well on her way to winning this…and then Milan happened. Shandi was knocked, and for the rest of the competition she just didn’t seem the same. She let the others take over her and proved just having the raw ingredients isn’t everything; you need the conviction to succeed. It was frustrating, and saddening to see, but entirely understandable. I’m glad Shandi isn’t solely remembered for that. She was ANTM’s first ugly duckling, and was another model pivotal in establishing ANTM as what it is. People like Shandi still get the same treatment, but none (or maybe one) have really matched up to the standard Shandi managed to set in Cycle 2.

[milquetoast-on-acid]

I Love You, A Shandy Meta Post

Much like the proposal I decided to have a separate post about the "I Love You" scene because of how much I wanted to break this down. Because of how important this scene is to Sharon and Andy’s characters. The Emotion and the freaking bedroom. 

What this meta is about: Visuals & Parallels Their Pajamas The Bedroom Setup: Who sleeps where Cinematography and Echos Parallels and Callbacks The Meta Why the bedroom? And why we haven't had a scene in the bedroom until now. Sharon's Glasses = Her vulnerability Andy Flynn, the Gentlemen Faith and the role it plays in their Relationship When two emotionally damaged people find each other...   Andy   Sharon Sharon & Andy's Heart Conditions are Metaphors  I Love You When Two become One

Visuals & Parallels

Their Pajamas

Andy's t-shirt (which by the way looks like an LAPD shirt) and plaid pajama pants is EXACTLY what I thought Andy would normally wear to bed. Just like @roslinadama-sinequanon said this is much more like Andy Flynn and hella sexier too. 

Andy's stripped pajama's from White Lies really feels like something Sharon bought Andy. Maybe as a moving in gift. And of the three times that we've seen Sharon in her night clothes, it's quite interesting how much they've changed since "DOA". She's really dressing for him and I kind of love it. Sharon's nightgown is very her. It's femimine, lace, sexy yet modest. 

If you also note that their not matching colors here, because their not on the same wavelength. And if we don't get the matching and get a scene like this. Than i'm 100% for it.

The Bedroom setup: Who sleeps where Since is has been the only scene in which we see Sharon (and now Andy's) bedroom. I want to take a minute to look around. It looks like each of them have their own dresser. Which would certainly make a lot of sense considering how much both of them are fashionistas. The dresser closest to them is more than likely Andy's. There is a black tube of what could be lotion or what I think is aftershave. His watch in front of it and his belt beside it. And a very nice box full of what I think are his ties. Which is so nice to see since we have seen virtually nothing of his in the condo. I think that's the side he sleeps on. There's also that infamous jar of Vaseline on the side table.

It makes sense that Sharon would want to be closest to the door so that is that much faster for her to protect her child if something were to happen to him. You can see another dresser behind Andy, with what looks like a picture on top of it. But it, is so far away you can't tell what's in the picture. More than likely a photo of Sharon and her kids. And what could be books on top of the dresser.

Cinematography and Echos I love the way the beginning of this scene is shot. Sharon's face is completely in focus and we get a very emotional Sharon who's on the verge of breaking down. She's barely holding back her tears. It's shot exactly how Sharon's confession was in part 3. The slow motion, the very dim lighting. And it's absolutely gorgeous. Not to mention the visual parallels from this to Laura reflecting on her life in Daybreak.

Parallels and Callbacks I love this scene so much for so many reasons. One of them being that it feels like we are finally finishing the what was illuded to two years ago in "Taking the Fall". Only this time Sharon has the courage to tell Andy how she feels about him. This time, Andy has the courage to tell Sharon how much she means to him. It really is the last hurdle they had before they got married. It also feels very reminiscent of the scene in "Blackout" when Andy is telling Sharon about his blood clot. Both scenes dealing with Andy's heart condition. Not only that but this is an actually conversation about their relationship, Sharon's heart condition and the fucking feels! 

After all of the heavy emotional stuff is out of the way. Once, Andy knows what he's dealing with (as far as where Sharon is at emotionally). And him really getting his point across that their in this together that she's not alone and that she needs to stop thinking that way. Like everything that Andy Flynn does, he tries to use humor to put a smile on his fiance's face.

The Meta

Why the bedroom? And why we haven't had a scene in the bedroom until now.

I think it was a very very deliberate choice to have this scene in their bedroom. And for it to be the very first time we have a scene there.

A while back (when Sharon and Andy got engaged) I talked about how windows and doors were very symbolic in the progress of their relationship. I've also talked about how Sharon's office is her inner sanctum at work. It's a bit like her bedroom, her private place - where she can be more of herself there. We've gotten plenty of very pivotal Sharon/Andy moments there. Some of the really best ones, there's the

"I'll wait in case you need me."

The hug, Andy asking Sharon out on two non-date dates. Sharon telling Andy she's open to them moving in together. 

But until now we've only seen a tiny peak into Sharon's bedroom. The one other time we've seen it was when Rusty wakes Sharon up because 'someone's in the house'. Which turned out to be Jack. When Sharon's husband was bursting his way rudely into her apartment. Her husband. 

A person's bedroom can tell you a lot about them, it's their MOST private place. MC is visually associating Sharon's bedroom with her husbands. Where Jack was in her heart, although a fractured heart. Now Andy is in her heart. While it's frustrating that we haven't had any scenes in her bedroom until now it's also a kind of interesting concept. That the further we get into Sharon and Andy's relationship the more she seems to open up. To Andy and to us. And we are seeing that visually - where they want to place the characters in these particular scenes. 

Not to mention that the very first time we hear Sharon say "I love you" to Andy it's in her very most private place. It's certainly been implied that they've said the words to the other before this but WE haven't heard them.

Sharon's Glasses = Her vulnerability

It's been said that the use of glasses between Bill Adama and Laura Roslin were visually used to show emotional vulnerability in the characters. I have to wonder if the're doing the same thing with Sharon. And how seldom we see Sharon's naked eyes. The scene opens with Sharon looking at herself in the mirror, trying to compose herself. And she's not wearing her glasses. But as soon as she steps into the bedroom to talk with Andy, the glasses go back on. She's much more composed (although still emotional) than she was in the bathroom. 

There's no dialog just Sharon staring at herself, wrestling with her emotions. It feels really depressing and the whole mood is completely broken by Andy. It's an amazing way of us getting right inside of Sharon's head. Seeing what she's feeling. She's completely naked to us, there is no shield she's putting up. A lot of people have commented how much they thought Sharon was naked when she is first looking at herself in the mirror. Now that I think about it. I think it was done deliberately to add to Sharon's already vulnerable state. 

Seeing that scene really strikes me just how much Sharon is holding in. There's so much emotion and feelings that she holds in, in an effort to protect herself and others. Her putting her glasses on is a way of her putting a shield up. As a way to protect herself. As a way to distance herself from her own emotions that she's so desperately wrestling with right now. 

Even when she's in their own bedroom in front of Andy. she's still hiding. She talks about her heart condition in a somewhat emotionless detached manner. She uses clinical terms and talks about her potential options if things worsen. It's her defense machinsim to try to step away from her emotions surrounding her illness and the implications of that on her relationship with Andy.

Andy Flynn, the Gentlemen What I love about Andy Flynn and how he treats his soon to be wife here. Note that Andy waits for Sharon on the bench at the foot of their bed and NOT in the chair by the window. He respects her. You my love, please take the chair. He places her above him. Always. He is ever and always the gentlemen to his lady. Pulling out her chair for her at dinner. Giving her the more comfortable seat, but yet finding a way to be near her. Opening doors for her and letting her go first. 

Andy Flynn is worried like crazy about what's going on with Sharon but still manages to give her space and time to processes things in her own way. Not only in this scene but throughout the episode, this arc and their entire relationship. He is so very careful in not pushing her one way or the other. It's something that he and Sharon have in common in the way they deal with their loved ones. 

The further we get into their relationship, the more Andy understands Sharon. How she deals with emotions, when to push her and when not to. I love @themagicm (in her amazing podcast go listen!) for pointing out how much Andy gives up for Sharon. Part of being in a relationship is about compromise and sacrifice. Patience is really against Andy's nature, but for Sharon he's the most patient guy in the world.

Faith and the role it plays in their Relationship "I just want you to think about this for a second." "I don't need a second." Faith plays such a huge role in this arc and how different relationships are being tested. How some relationships had the strength to persuasive in overwhelming odds. While other's couldn't pass the test. 

Of all of the romantic relationships to be featured in part four. Sharon and Andy is really the only one (that's proven) to have the strength to last in the face of adversity. Kelly and Lucas was forbidden by Kelly's racist father. They had to sneak around to get any kind of time together. Which is so sad because listening to Kelly it really seemed like the two of them could have lasted if it weren't for Lucas' death. Meanwhile, Ryan is still wrestling with his sexuality and his crush on Miguel. Miguel who has a thing for Kelly, who's dating Lucas. (why do I feel like I'm watching kid versions of bsg characters here).

Sarah and Mateo have a volitile relationship where communication is non-existent. And neither of them seem to be dealing with Lucas's illness. Rusty and Gus are in some bizarre limbo state. Both are focused on their careers, along with a new guy that's come between them. 

Sharon in particular is being tested with her faith in God, her Church, her Priest and her relationship with Andy. For so many years their relationship hadn't really been tested. They'd been out of sync for somethings but it never really caused any kind of strife or any rift between them. They never really seemed to have any problems integrating their dating life with their work life. The only time it seemed to interfere was before they started officially dating. After that it was pretty smooth sailing. 

So Sharon's illness is a real test for their relationship. And Sharon was preparing herself to deal with this illness by herself. In the way she has always done. She really wanted to stress to Andy just how serious her heart condition is. And wanted him to really sit down and think about whether or not he really wanted to marry her knowing that she could possibly die. Or that he'd have to take care of a sick woman, most likely for the rest of his life. 

Jack Raydor always up and left when ever life got too hard for him. Whenever the responsibility of being a parent or husband became too much. So that is something that she is carrying around inside of her even now. She doesn't want to go through with a marriage to a guy she loves to pieces only for him to up and leave her. Logically, she's got to know that he won't leave her the way Jack did. But emotionally it's something that's so ingrained in her psyche.

When two emotionally damaged people find each other...

The two of them have found each other and have helped piece the other back together again. But there are still emotional issues that both of them are dealing with.

Andy "I don't know if I deserve it and I don't know why you care about me so much." It's been subtly illuded to over the years that Andy supremely insecure and does not think much of himself. There has been some really wonderful conversations lately on this.His words here make me think of this particular moment in season 1. When some dubious life coach gets an excellent read on Andy. 

"You're divorced. You have a whole in your heart so deep you couldn't fill it with booze so you covered it up with a badge. You feel you destroyed your children's lives even though they say they forgive you." There has been something that's been missing from this guy's life that he only found until just now. Andy certainly takes responsibility for what his drinking did to himself and to his family. But what had originally caused Andy to drink so heavily? There's some really wonderful speculation that Andy did not have the warmest of childhoods. That he grew up with a lot of siblings and there really wasn't a lot of time for his parents to really spend one on one time with him. That they really just were left on their own to do their own thing. It certainly jives with some of the things Andy has said through the years. And that Andy didn't really get much love when he was a kid, and would certainly explain that hole in his heart. 

The hole he filled with booze and when that made a mess of things. He filled it with women but that also didn't work. Both of those are kind of behaviors are really distractions from what he was really feeling. Or really to keep him from feeling the emptiness he had inside of him. The emptiness that was eventually filled with love. 

"Unless, you've changed your mind about us. Have you changed your mind?" Years into their relationship, with the two of them engaged and days away from getting married. And he's still so insecure that he wonders if her wanting to postpone/cancel the wedding is maybe her just not wanting to marry him. But the way he asks her this, his voice is so soft and so gentle. And he looks so damned sad when he asks her this. And it would probably kill him if they broke up but he would do it for her. He would do anything for her.

Sharon "As long as you understand what I am dealing with here." "What we're dealing with. Okay." Sharon has always dealt with everything by herself. From the time she became an adult, until Andy came along. Yes she had the support of her church and her children. But it's not the same thing. It is not the same thing as having a significant other that you can rely on for emotional support. And here she's still thinking that she has to deal with her heart condition by herself. As a mother Sharon is always going to protect her children. Even when it comes to her illness. 

Jack, as a husband and a partner never had any kind of support to give Sharon. She could not rely on him in any way. Not financial. Remember she was the one to support both of them financially until he became a lawyer. Him draining her bank account gambling. Which is a huge reason why she separated from him to get herself in a better place financially. 

Not as a father. It's been stated that Jack did not pay a dime to put Emily or Ricky through college. Sharon also paid to put them through St. Josephs and because of her financial straights (due to Jack), the church gave her a break on the tuition. Not as a husband. Although it's never been directly talked about,  It has been subtly hinted at that he had cheated on her before they separated. And how many times did he leave and come back? So if there was anything she had to deal with (usually drama because of him) she could never turn to him to help her. So she did what she always does. Deal with it by herself. 

Love was never the problem in Sharon and Jack's marriage. I'd even argue that Jack was still in love with Sharon after they divorced, which is the reason why he fell off the wagon. The point I'm making is that is ingrained in her psyche. Her, being a sole entity in a marriage. Even though she loves Andy to pieces. And even though she knows Andy loves her. It's something that's going to take (probably) years longer to break.

Even despite the years of Andy telling her that she's not alone. It's really only until his speech to her here that it's finally sinking in for her. Andy has been in love with her for years, and everything he has done before and after they started a relationship. Is really to show her that he's there for her just, as much as she has been there for him. 

"I'll wait in case you need me." I really feel that this is Andy Flynn in a nutshell when it comes to his relationship with Sharon. I will be here, you can lean on me.

Sharon & Andy's Heart Conditions are Metaphors "If we're not going to let my heart get in the way of that. Then uh, we're not going to let your's stop us either." What is interesting is that both Sharon and Andy have heart conditions. And I feel like the show is using that as a metaphor for their emotionally damaged hearts. While one is going through emotional and physical trauma, the other one is always there being loving, supportive and helping them through the tough periods. Exactly what a significant other is supposed to do.  And it's really been the foundation of their entire relationship. 

Andy saying here that their not letting their physical conditions stopping them from getting married. But he's also saying that their not going to let their emotionally damaged hearts stop them from getting married. Not going to stop them from finding and having happiness with each other. 

Together they are stronger than they are apart. That is something he realized a very long time ago. Neither of them are the person they were years ago. And a lot of the has to do with the relationship they have with each other. Andy was a very Angry person. He was cynical and bitter. At the world and at himself. For the things that he has done, seen and lived through. While he started working on himself and his relationships with his children. That is when Sharon (really came into) his life and help shape him into a better man. 

Likewise with Sharon, having a friend and a relationship with a man like Andy. Helped her to open up in ways she'd never been before. While Sharon was always a very caring person, it's not something we'd seen her express in a big way. He's really helped her come much more out of her shell. And to stand up for her own happiness. Such as finally divorcing Jack, adopting Rusty, pursuing different careers (because it makes her happy).

To further this concept, I finally looked up Cardiomyopathy and according to Wikipedia it is often called the Broken heart syndrome and can be caused by extreme emotional or physical stress.

I Love You "I love you so so much." A lot of people have commented that this is the most emotional I love You we've gotten from this show and I completely agree. I want to take that a step further and add that it's from the most emotionally closed off person. How amazing is that, from the one person that hides their emotions from the world and walls them off like a damned fortress. Is bursting with so much emotion here. It is an important and powerful I Love You. 

Much like with Laura Roslin, Sharon is the one we really need to hear the words from. As it certainly was implied and we did know that she loves him. Sharon is also a very emotionally closed off person who really hides how much she feels. Her emotions are not always so apparent. Even her love for Andy. While I would have loved to have heard Andy say the words. He says how much he loves her here, without saying the words. By telling her she's not alone and together they can face anything. By telling her that nothing is going to stop them from getting married.

When Two become One "Let's start where the Doctor asked me to leave the room. And you try to remember, word for word what he said to you okay. Word for word." What I love about this? In one sentence Andy Flynn using humor while being so serious and concerned about her. He starts off by trying to get a smile back on her face, after their very emotional heavy conversation. Using his humor to lighten the mood, is so typical of him and his relationship with her. There are times when Andy cracks a joke with his sole purpose of getting her to smile or laugh. 

Him asking her to remember everything that she can about what the doctor told her is because of how much he wanted to be in the room with her. He tried to bully the doctor into letting him stay and his poor face falls when the Doctor doesn't budge. He only stands down when Sharon tells him that it's okay. It reminds me of when Sharon was punched in the face by their suspect. Andy only stopped because Sharon told him to stop. 

It's also him showing her that he's got complete knowledge of what she has to face. SO he'll be completely informed about about exactly what's wrong with her and what her options are. His way of showing her that he's all in. And his way of furthering how much the two of them are in this battle together. That he wanted and wants to be with her every step of the way. 

"I think we should postpone the wedding. It's not fair to you." It is not until Sharon starts talking about the wedding and thinking about Andy that she gets emotional. Her voice cracks here and she's getting teary eyed. While Sharon may be scared about what's going on with herself it is her family that she thinks of and how it's going to effect them. And how powerless she is to stop that. First Andy here and later with Ricky and Emily. 

"Absolutely not. You think I would let anything get in the way of becoming your husband." What I love about this? Andy Flynn being so firm and so clear. What he wants in their relationship. As I have talked about Andy is so very careful in how he deals with Sharon and her emotions. This is the one time where him being firm and putting his foot down about something really mattered in their relationship. That no matter what is going to happen to Sharon, in happiness or sadness, in sickness and health. He will be there and has made his mind up to be there with her 100% long before he proposed to her. And emotionally long before they even started dating. Not to mention that this guy has waited years for Sharon to be finally emotionally ready to be married to him.

[allthecanadianpolitics]

A bunch of Feminists across Canada have endorsed Niki Ashton for NDP leader:

We are voting for Niki, and encourage you to do the same. We want a strong feminist voice to represent our movement. We want someone who sees the diverse issues facing our country and communities through an intersectional and empowering lens. We want someone who understands the work that is happening on the ground and will fight for that at the federal level. We want someone who we can connect with and know our voices will be heard. We have that in Niki. We each remember the first time we met Niki: "When I first met Niki, I told her about my political goals. She gave me a hug, added me on facebook, and told me to message her. I waited a few days because I wasn't sure if that was just politician talk. I finally messaged her and she set up a time to call me that day. While waiting to board her flight, she gave me some really good pointers on getting into politics. That was the moment I knew I wanted to vote for her and wanted her as a leader. She wants to help pull other women up. It isn’t a ploy.” “When many of us first met Niki, it was when she asked to meet local feminists to hear about the work we were doing and how she could support us. She sat next to us at our dining table, shared tea, and simultaneously celebrated our work while committing to make space for it in government. She cared. She gave us advice when she had it, perspective when it was required, and encouragement always.” Niki Ashton is our choice for a feminist vote because she works to support and create social, racial, economic, and environmental justice across issues, knowing that these things intertwine and must be led from the grassroots. She uses the lessons of intersectional feminism to tackle topics like Indigenous rights. She commits to respect and amplify the strengths of Indigenous communities while living up to commitments of the TRC and UNDRIP, something our nation has failed at until now. In particular, she is working to seek justice for Missing and Murdered Indigenous Women and Girls. She sees the potential to strengthen the power of the MMIW Inquiry to investigate police misconduct, empowering our government to hold systems of power accountable. While the signatories here are not Indigenous, we recognize our power and privilege and work to raise the voices that have asked for this action, in solidarity with our siblings who are Indigenous, Black, and People of Colour. Niki has our vote because she knows it’s not about starting work on issues like racial justice. The work is already being done. By us. In our communities, in our streets, at our tables, and at our workplaces. It’s time we had a leader that understands us and represents our work. With Niki, together we can build a movement. Learn more at www.nikiashton2017.ca - and support Niki Ashton to be the leader of the NDP and the next Prime Minister of Canada, by volunteering or donating $25 today!

In solidarity,

Kristina Larkin, Lethbridge Alberta

Shandi Bleiken, Lethbridge Alberta

Aileen Burke, Lethbridge Alberta

Laura Collison, Edmonton Alberta

Kendall Yamagishi, Toronto Ontario

Stef Desrochers, Lethbridge Alberta

Ashlea Golding, Lethbridge Alberta

Morgane Oger, Vancouver British Columbia

Heidi McDonell, Vancouver British Columbia

Jenn Jefferys, Ottawa Ontario

Brittany Griffiths, Lethbridge Alberta

Kristin Krein, Lethbridge Alberta

Angèle Pineau-Lemieux, Montréal, Québec

Jacqueline Thibodeau, Toronto Ontario

Emily White, Vancouver British Columbia

Fartun Mohamud, Brooks Alberta

Nina Amrov, Gatineau Québec

Christina Cuthbertson, Lethbridge Alberta

Analisa MacIntosh, Vancouver British Columbia

Karyne Vienneau, Gatineau Québec

Geneviève Nevin, Victoria BC

Malaya Powers, Montréal Québec

Dejana Knih, Calgary Alberta

Arushana Sunderaeson, Scarborough Ontario

Chrissy Lynn Trudel, Elliot Lake Ontario

Cheri DiNovo, Toronto Ontario

Amanda Lathlin, The Pas Manitoba

Alice Gaudreau, Montréal, Québec

Jacinthe Gagnon, Laval, Québec

Fae Johnstone, Ottawa Ontario

[topmodelranking]

#2 – Yoanna House

Honestly, I am slightly surprised I’m not putting Yoanna top this cycle. Personally, I was rooting for her this cycle. She is also one of my all time favourites. Her face is gorgeous; one of the best this show has ever seen. Such incredible bone structure, with gorgeous skin and eyes to finish it off. With it she can do so many things. She can do commercial; she can do editorial; she can do high fashion. It is versatile, without really compromising the ability to succeed in any one individual area. It was enough to compensate for a slightly weaker body. She was able to manipulate it well in her photos, but in person she just looked a bit off for a model. Walking is a completely different matter though. A strong face isn’t quite enough, but combined with a great walk it might have been enough. Sadly, Yoanna just was not a powerhouse when it came to the runway. She lacked the same grace, and always seemed a bit too stiff. I still think Yoanna could be a top model without it, but it is definitely her biggest weakness, and what stops her from topping this list.

Portfolio wise Yoanna obliterated everyone else this cycle, without much competition. Her first shot was easily her weakest, and honestly the only subpar shot she took this cycle. Still, the entire thing isn’t bad. Yoanna’s beauty has been captured, but she has been aged slightly. It isn’t great for a first impression, and the body isn’t great either, but the potential is still clear and present. After a weak start she remained in the top 2 throughout the rest of the competition. For the most part I still agree with those decisions, but I will say the first call-out for the harness shoot was clearly wrong. That belonged to Shandi, and I can’t understand what convinced me otherwise. Still, the entire set of shots is absolutely stunning. The last two photos she took were still the strongest, and my favourite shots of the cycle. Her beauty shot is literal perfection, representing the sheer strength of her physical beauty, while the nude shot shows how excellently she can blend into a scenario and help enhanced a narrative. Both still remain amongst my favourite shots of all time, and help prove Yoanna is one of the most photogenic models this show has seen.

Even sitting at second she has all the characteristics I could desire in a model, while having such an inspiring and relatable history. Yoanna is always going to be a personal favourite of mine, and I was glad to see on my re-watch of Cycle 2 she held up to my expectations. She was photogenic, professional and beautiful in motion. She may not be the perfect winner, and April may have beaten her out, but I still think she is one of the strongest winners this show has had. Cycle 2 was a great cycle, and seeing her get the crown was such a validating way to finish the cycle.