#Side-ons should not be that difficult
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i feel like im not making any sense but does anyone else feel like there are stories that let u run with them and ones that spell everything out for you
#im reading that post that says artists are directors of audience reaction and not its dictator:#'you cannot guarantee that everyone viewing your work will react as you are trying t make them react. a good artist knows that this is what#allows work to breath. by definition you cannot have art where the viewer brings nothing to the table ... this is why you have to let go of#the urge to plainly state in text exactly how you think the work should be interpreted ... its better to be misinterpreted sometimes than#to talk down to your audience. you wont even gain any control that way; people will still develop their opinions no matter what you do#im thinking abt this again cuz i was thinking maybe the thing that lets adventure time work so well the way it does is cuz it doesnt#take itself too seriously that it gives the audience enough room to fuck with subtext and then fuck with them back yknow. i think it was#mentioned somewhere that they werent even planning to run with the postapocalyptic elements that are hinted in the show but changed their#mind after the one off with the frozen businessmen and dominoed into marcy and simons backstory. on the other side there are stories that#explain too much to let the story speak for itself and i think it ends up having to do more with the crew trying to lead ppl in a certain#direction than expand on what they have and i see a lot of this with miraculous. like when interviews and tweets are used as word of god in#arguments and it becomes a little stifling to play around with it knowing the creator can just interject. u can say its the crews effort to#engage with its audience but it feels more like micromanaging. and none of this is to say there ISNT room for stories that spell things out#theyre just suited for different things. if sesame street tried abstract approaches to themes and nuance itd be counterproductive#a lot of things fly over my head so i need help picking things apart to get it- but it doesnt have to be from the story itself. ive picked#picked up or built on my own interpretations listening to other ppl share their thoughts which creates conversation around the same thing#sometimes stories will spell things out for you without being so obvious abt it that it feels like its woven into the text. my fav example#for this might be ATLA using younger characters as its main cast but instead of feeling like its dumbed down for kids to understand why war#is bad its framed from a childs point of view so younger audiences can pick up on it by relating to the characters. maybe an 8 year old#wont get how geopolitics works but at least they get 'hey the world is a little more complicated than everyone vs. fire nation'. same for#steven universe bc its like theyre trying to describe and put feelings into words that kids might not have so they have smth to start with#especially with the metaphors around relationships bc even if it looks unfamiliar as a kid now maybe the hope is for it to be smth you can#look back to. thats why it feels like these shows grew up with me.. instead of saving difficult topics for 'when im ready for it'#as if its preparing me for high school it gave me smth to turn in my hands and revisit again and again as i grow. stories that never#treated u as dumb all along. just someone who could learn and come back to it as many times as u need to. i loved SU for the longest time#but i felt guilty for enjoying it hearing the way ppl bash it. bc i was a kid and thought other ppl understood it better than me and made#feel bad for leaning into the message of paying forward kindness and not questioning why steven didnt punish the diamonds or hold them#accountable. but im rewatching it now and going oh. i still love this show and what it was trying to teach me#yapping#diary
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When it comes to Penelope I feel like a lot of her fans take any valid criticism towards her and turn it into hate, which does her character a disservice. While some people do hate on her, a lot of it holds valid reasons. Admitting that she has hurt many people isn't wrong because she has, it's been shown on throughout the show and the impacts it can have. From labeling Daphne as "unmarriageable" during her first season and events that followed, her labeling Eloise as being part of a group of rebels, the terms she used to describe Kate [and Simon]-- which carried racial undertones no matter how you try to spin it, who didn't even know personally at that point, what she did Marina. All of these were very harmful and to say that none of these characters should feel angry, that they should just forgive Penelope without any work put into it is very laughable (especially because she's still writing as Whistledown and put many, namely women, at risk during a time where reputation is everything--something in which Penelope herself faces). With this being said, criticizing her actions, at least for me, doesn't come from a complete place of hate but more so from believing that she can be better if she puts in the work. By ignoring all that she's done and having her get her happily ever after so easily in the end, to be honest, would ultimately feel lackluster. I feel like she still has room to grow, but it will take a lot of work and, I personally, think seeing her renavigate who she is with who she wants to be outside of Lady Whistledown would be very interesting.
#bridgerton#penelope featherington#idk if this counts as anti but I'll label it as such too#anti penelope featherington#bc some people don't see it her referring to kate as a “beast” was wrong as hell and definitely side eye worthy coming from this yte woman#like she didn't even know kate and wrote that about her#and her ableist comments towards george were absolutely unnecessary as well#so deny that none of these things holds impact would be highly untrue and make the story very flat#i do think pen provides valuable insight to a different perspective of the ton and was helpful in eloise seeing a different view#so that's one [of very few] reasons that i think she should have a chance of redeeming herself#but that also doesn't mean that any of these characters should forgive her either#penelope stans and/or polin stans do not interact if you can't be respectful!#(also bc some people like to say “but the bridgertons are privileged and got their happy endings”#one just bc they got their happy endings in the end doesn't mean that what pen wrote didn't put them in difficult situations or that she#should be thanked as if she helped them [with daphne that was mainly her and her own mother's doing]#[for eloise that different bc it puts her and her family under political scrutiny as well bc do you honestly think being labeled as associat#-ing with rebels would be a good thing?]
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hotd never fails to disappoint
#w h a t#t h e#f u c k#this fandom also really sucks :/#i’ll never understand how certain team green fans can claim to love alicent and helaena and yet unironically support the side of the war#that very much wants to continue perpetuating patriarchal violence and control#aka the very thing that’s made both these female characters so very miserable#why is it so difficult for people to understand that rhaenyra becoming queen and reigning in her own right for some good long years#would force an ideological shift and would open a discussion that had been closed for a long time in westeros#alicent has suffered from the patriarchy but she also continues the cycle w/ her treatment of her children#please just please understand that you do not have to like team black nor do you have to like team black characters#but trying to justify aegon usurping rhaenyra is nonsense and completely unjustifiable no matter how hard you try to twist the situation#and please don’t try to take some centrist ‘team smallfolk stance’ bc that stance is simply one ppl take to shift the topic away#from the patriarchy and how denying a woman her legal inheritance tore the realm apart#‘but andal tradition’ bleh ‘why should the targs be ruling’ bleh ‘the small folk suffer more’ bleh ‘the dragons are nukes’ bleh#these are all red herrings meant to divert away from the main topic & are usually used by ppl to justify their support of team green#supporting the team that wishes for the continuation of the cycle is wrong#i support team black bc this is a break in the cycle and opens a discussion that westeros has needed for thousands of years#the social change would be slow but at least there’d be change!#<-of course we know this discussion didn’t rly open bc rhaenyra didn’t have a peaceful transfer of power and later died way too early on#but even tho she died so early a character in the main books series is using the precedent she set to support her own claim! (arianne)#anti team green#asoiaf fandom critical#anti alicent stans#anti aegon ii stans#pro team black#pro rhaenyra targaryen#hotd#house of the dragon#anti hotd
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Had an epiphany last night and shook out some rust today.
A few years ago, I made a Mother's Day fic (got a lot of stuff wrong, but...); this time, I've got more information, but I'll probably still get some stuff wrong.
This was all somewhat formulated last night at work, then basically pounded out today, mostly made up on the spot. Had some scrapped concepts...might come back and revise, and forgive me if anything isn't impactful enough, I wanted this done a few hours ago but had some issues...again, shaking off the rust.
Anyway. YAY, sometimes I write fanfiction!
#darius bowman#chaos theory#jurassic world: chaos theory#jwct#obviously one is a lot longer than the others#that's because...well...yeah#father's day#happy father's day#heh#ben's was the most difficult one because where do I even begin there?#we know he has one#I mean...he could have two moms#but he seems very much like the Normal Nuclear Family#brand bowman#kenji kon#ben pincus#brooklynn#sammy gutierrez#yasmina fadoula#Sammy's was also difficult but it was kind of what I wanted to illustrate#would help if I knew what was wrong and what was going on and what side it is#kind of went with him being unhappy#yaz's SHOULD have been the trickiest and most difficult but I had an Evil Thought and went with it#kenji's went in a whole different direction#I had a whole kenji story in mind and then decided to just shift the POV#oh I just realized that I didn't touch on some stuff#dang#I meant to address it in the darius and kenji stories#but...I didn't#the darius story also wound up not having darius in it
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"It looked like a good day for setting fence posts, and my mother said so while taking the biscuits from the oven. 'Some morning early, when I can get away, I want you to come with me along the edge of the hill in the wood-lot," she continued. "When the shadows of the trees begin to come down the slope, as the sun rises you feel the turning of the earth. You feel the whole globe under your feet rolling into the sunlight. . . . That's something I found one morning when I was driving the calves to pasture. I've been saving it up for you. I wonder if you've seen a more beautiful dawn in any of the places you've been.'
On my fingers I count the dawns I have seen--memorable, just in being dawns. Sleepy-eyed dawn from the Paris markets after a night of dancing; mist dawn against which I was just to late to see the minarets of Constantinople--all the fault of the stupid stewardess who didn't wake me in time; one startling moment of color on the hills around the Dead Sea before they went colorless in merciless heat; sudden dawn like a clap of light over the freezing-cold Syrian desert. Four dawns in twenty years. No, I do not know dawns as my mother does."
-- Rose Wilder Lane, "A Place in the Country" (1925)
#little house#rose wilder lane#laura ingalls wilder#a little house sampler#i dove into the book seriously this morning#intended to read just the first couple of pieces and kept reading 'just one more' until i've got about 2/3 read#most of laura's pieces are familiar from her farm columns#though there's a couple of early versions of little house stories that show a lot of her voice did get through there#rose's are fascinating#i can't quite wrap my head around her#sometimes she'll seem neurotic and restless and judgey and sophisticated and a bit pretentious#and then she writes some of the most beautiful nostalgic pieces#showing so much love of home and family and the simple joys of life#this piece might be my favorite so far because it grapples with those two sides#after four years as a foreign correspondent she's back at home in mansfield#and she has a new appreciation for her parents and the work they do and the life they've built#now that she's had her adventures and is no longer a restless teen looking to get away from rural poverty#even in the other pieces it's fascinating how much love of her family comes through when you know about the difficult relationships#i should share some quotes from the piece about mary when i get the chance#(also i'm very upset that she didn't write down the story of why she and her parents never read the last book in the school library)#(you don't end with a sequel hook and just leave me hanging ms. lane!)#anyway i love the whole essay that this is from and there are other worthwhile quotes#but i like how this one captures the 'noticing beauty while doing farm work' side of laura that i've come to think of as her trademark
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GOOD NEWS EVERYBODY IM BACK I HAVE ANSWERS so we looked at my teeth etc and I’m not gonna die of sepsis bc despite all the shit my toothache caused me there’s no infection. so what was it, Bronwyn? good question!
wisdom teeth
#LMFAO#my wisdom teeth are……… so poorly angled. 100% impact on all four#and the left one is tryna make moves so it’s swelling my gums which is raising my molar#and jacking up my bite while the tooth is sensitive in sensitive gums#¯\_(ツ)_/¯#so he suggested just. get rid of them. take the wisdom teeth out. all 4 bc of the possible impact from them#and if I didn’t I’d just periodically have this crazy ass pain come and go and come and go and fuck THAT so. removal it is#👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻#I have no idea what that’s gonna cost lmfao so we’ll…. we’ll see#and today basically the pain hasn’t been nearly as severe. the swelling has gone down significantly. so I think the pain/problem is#subsiding for a bit. I hope. lol. so they’re referring me to the dental hospital teehee#and then we did a clean of my teeth bc I have crazy plaque buildup and thus bacteria and thus making the issue worse. apparently. so#which isn’t a surprise. depression and adhd means I don’t brush my teeth as often as I should. and floss is scary#while doing that he seemed to have no problems with any of my fillings so I assume they’re fine atm too#all those side effects bc my wisdom tooth wants to play up…….. attention seeker#also between that molar and the gums where the wisdom tooth is. there’s a pocket. apparently. and stuff is getting stuck in there apparently#a pocket……. head in hands. and obviously that’s difficult to clean so that’s also bothering my gums and thus my tooth. GOD#ooc#anyways that’s the dentist update. tldr; I’m fucking fine it’s just wisdom teeth fucking it all up
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having to explain to people things like. if i have to go out to do something and run errands i need to have it all mapped out and planned w like. at least a week in advance. and if i go out that day i cannot do anything else because That will be it. if i have multiple commitments that cannot be put on the same day i need one full day in between those commitments so i can rest and be recharged for that next thing otherwise i might have a breakdown in the middle of the street (again) and then That will render me unable to function for like a whole three days. and then people look at me like i choose to live like this?
#txt#audhd tag#just venting a little#its crazy because ppl around me are like I understand your limitations However why dont you-#So you dont understand my limitations?#like okay yeah i understand that it must be Weird for people that are not Inside my brain and hard to understand that i PHYSICALLY CANNOT>#do things that they dont even think about. alright! but to sit and tell me Yeah we get it! but then try to either fix it or >#> come up w a New Incredible Way To Fix Me as if half of what i talk abt w my therapist isnt Exactly This#like yeah i dont fucking like it either. i wish i could do shit like other ppl do. i wish i could remember things.#i wish i didnt feel exhausted all the time i wish simply leaving my bed wasnt the most difficult task every single morning#but it pisses me OFF when people try to talk me through these Limitations i have that They Understand<3 like. can you be accommodating or no#one of my closest friends and oldest friends since i was like 5 had her bday on friday and she ljterally messaged me like#Hi we r having something w my family but theyre rly loud and extremist on the right wing side and i barely wanna be here u dont have 2 come>#> but i wanted to invite u anyway so u dont think ur being left out! and i was like Yayy nice thank u bc lbr i probably wouldnt go anyway.#and she KNOWS that. and she literally was talking to me like she alwahs does and That felt accommodating and understanding and i felt loved#cut to my mom last night trying to make me feel guilty for not going because Shes my friend and i should have gone anyway.#i told her off and she backtracked but thats still innmy head like. that shit is so irritating#okay sorry vent over im just aboht to get my period so this is making me sick#want to yell into the void and forget about it. Hits post
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ugh there it goes
#our promotion 😢😢#1st place is gone#today was tough our opponents were all way better than us#we only won 1 match out of 6#now they're leading our league well we should at least win our last matchday and get 2nd place#the no1 seed was in another league from ours 6:0 6:0 altough she's quite a good player at our club#we only won one doubles match altough they were not as good by far as their other players#and all the matches were quite one sided they were also way higher rated than us#i also lost my match 😫 altough it was quite close actually but that is even worse sometimes idk#i certainly could have won idk why i didn't i mean there were not many chances but they were there#i lost 5:7 4:6 ugh 😭#maybe with a better serve i would have won#but i was 5:4 up and i didn't win that point like that's when you have to be there and make it#i think this might just be one of my weaknesses i'm really good at conebacks and believing in that i'll win but i have to be more effective#and 'cold' when it matters sometimes i'm quite wasteful with my chances#i often make the craziest most difficult shots which are 'impossible' to get back but then fail at the easiest one's#especially in the crucial moments maybe i should play it safe more and be more patient#nah but winning that first set would have changed everything because 3rd sets are more likely to be my advantage with my speed and fitness#and in the 2nd i was just always one behind i always caught up but never went ahead#my serve also wasn't really there today and my 2nd serve is still too weak opponents take advantage and if i have a bad 1st serve percentage#like today it makes it difficult to win my own serve and i also made many double faults (4) 😕#i aced her once tho 🤪#but my serves are sometimes great but very inconsistent dependent on the day (the 2nd one always bad)#my backhand also wasn't as good as usualy i hit a lot of them out but it got better altough then i took many with my forehand which worked#and my opponent had riddiculous stops they wouldn't go up the ground again 🫠#and she was so good at net and also whenever i went there she'd pass me or lob me 😅#i gave up doing that very soon my best shot at this was just hitting winners and hitting balls deep to her forehand#i succeeded at that a couple of times but it was not enough#i mean i didn't play badly but what a shame#she was very nice though and very fair it was a pleasant match and she told me she was the best opponent she encountered in the league
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tomorrow pakige
#one side of my headphones stopped working so i was forced to order things for myself again#i'd been putting this off i knew this pair was not long for this world#but i didn't want to spend money on myself for something so frivolous as *checks notes* thing i need to maintain sanity#so i waited until they cut out and then had to wait a whole bunch because i didn't want to spend money on shipping#but tomorrow should be pakige time#unless they get a wild hair up their butts about it and decide to get it on a truck this afternoon#but definitely tomorrow pakidge#i actually got 2 types of headphones#because free shipping + i wear earbuds for especially sleeping but in general i tend to favor them#but i have really liked over-ear headphones so i got a pair that can also Become Wireless in that the wire is exchangable (i think)#so i am hoping that means i will then have over ear headphones i can wear to muffle sound and help me when my ears require it#that i can also wear at the computer#the reviews weren't *great* for the over-ears but like. so long as they sit comfortably on my head i'm okay with having bought the cheap on#cause they will at MINIMUM do the mufflesounds and that's the key thing#i am very bad at buying Things for myself#frankly this has been a banner year for me Purchasing Delights specifically over the past like#month or two#and it's all been Necessary Items and things but also it's just very difficult#when it's just fun stuff#idk i'm... having the slow and gentle realization that perhaps doing nice things for myself isn't a bad thing actually#and that sometimes it's kind of important to get things you'll like just cause you like them or want them#eventually i'll figure out how to Want Things and then it's OVER for you bitches#(you bitches being my wallet)
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#I’m past thirty and I suddenly get ads for ‘Canadian Silver Singles’#smh someone doesn’t understand that I look like a baby infant child#and if I tried to date someone over 40 they would instinctively treat me like I need to be taken care of. like a baby infant child.#and if we ever went out together on a date people would mistake us for parent and child#this makes dating extremely difficult ok. I’m not going to make my appearance the silver singles’ problem#on the flip side I am not going to date anyone who is younger than solidly-in-their-mid-to-late-twenties either#(except I really am going to need someone more mature than the last one)#dating is fuckin way too difficult maybe I should just go live as a hermit in a lakeside shack
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i feel like i own every conceivable pattern and then i go looking for something and it's not quite right
#libra.txt#what do you MEAN i only have one pattern for leggings and they DON'T HAVE SIDE SEAMS#HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO HAVE POCKETS#(i'm not apparently)#gonna have to draft a vest pattern to get the look i want#which shouldn't be too hard bc i have loads of vest patterns and adding a little at the bottom would be fashion not fit#BUT i don't have any vest patterns that go up high enough#or a shirt pattern that crosses over right to adjust#AND i have no clue where my lantern sleeve pattern went#raine why did i decide to cosplay you 😭😭😭#IT SHOULDN'T BE DIFFICULT TO MAKE. I HAVE THE FABRIC I NEED#JUST NOT THE PATTERNS???????#i should not be surprised. i combined three different patterns to make my prom dress.#that's not even cosplay!!!!!!!#i did however get so wired ribbon so doing fi's tights shouldn't be too hard now 👍#just. need to draft that cloak pattern#and if all else fails i do still have link outfits i can do#who knows maybe i'll even do blue link
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im thinking about trigun and suikoden 2 and damn... there are parallels in there
#brb replaying suikoden 2 so i can get screencaps#suikoden 2#trigun#krispeaks#difference is suikoden 2 has 3 sibling while trigun only has 2 (alive ones)#and um if i talk about riou and jowy to vash and knives first. both of them were always together growing up#until they separate ways to pursue what they believe is the best for the world#they climbed their ways to becoming important people either willingly (jowy & knives) or not (vash & riou)#and of course the legendary rune the chosen ones etc#now nanami is the difficult part because she fits some characters at the same time#yes she's aggresive but she also has vash's reluctance to fight and his pacifism (mostly)#she's like the younger vash and they act (somewhat) more mature than their brothers but also easily swept away#by the nature of the world that required them to fight#BUT. she's also rem. she means something to both jowy and riou although she mostly stays by riou's side#ans she's the biggest influence riou has. he talks to her before making any big decisions and every single time nanami asks him to stop#because theyre kids. they should be able to live normally as children instead of leading an army#which just reminds me of shu what the heck was going on in his mind. these kids were like 16#so before doing anything riou (and the player) must consider how nanami feels which is why we've got the alt ending of them running away#if you choose to keep fighting tho? nanami dies. something something 'if i killed this man she'll die'?#and even after that she still haunts the narrative. everyone is at loss and even jowy#jowy who was willing to become a villain fighting against siblings to create a better world (eden) for the three of them#ALSO JOWY AND KNIVES LITERALLY HAVE BLADES/KNIVES AS THEIR POWER LOL#vash & riou has healing powers which could burst an attack but they use their physical weapons mostly (ignoring the player attached runes)#also about merilly & ww. they can come together as rina ellie and bolgan#wolfwood offers fortune reading and he still has his cross#meryl is ellie. both of them have too much weapons#millie is bolgan she's just having fun :^)#idk if theyre travelling together but these trio were prob the closest to riou and nanami as cameos in a lot of main quests#also i probably should say ftr i like riou/jowy as a ship but i mostly see their relationship as brotherly#which is to say no k/v here. begone
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Idea first came to me after I said something like "a thousand needles sewing you to a canvas of pain" and so I decided to make it real as best I could.
#does this count as#sculpture#my art#color says shit#Ford's Art#<- figured I needed an actual art tag since I'm actually doing more stuff so that's it I guess.#now I have to go back and edit the tags on all my old art stuff#gonna tag this as#body horror#just in case. some of those threads are actually going through my skin so it's worth tagging.#anyway. I'm finally finished with it! ngl I finished and was like 'what if I don't post it I just keep it privately?'#but I'm continuing my exposure therapy by posting art publicly so here.#anyway. it's no dismembered hand stitched to a canvas but it's the best I could do without going full Hannibal and committing medical crime#I used glue at the start to sew through before giving up and just figuring out how much skin I could get the needle through#I'm gonna feel it tomorrow for sure#do you have any idea how hard this was with just one hand. I had to use my toes as extra fingers to thread the needle every time I ran out#I wanted more tension on the threads but with only one hand and anchors that threatened to rip out I couldn't really#plus the left side was easier to sew because I was using my left hand. the right side was significantly more difficult#as evidenced by the significantly worse stitching on that side#I think I should have stuck with the glue though because it makes the pull marks like I wanted#it makes the thread have more of a meat-hook feel and weight rather than just light thread pulled through stiff skin#I like the left side better than the right. and the upper right is the least convincing
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Looks at the pre-constant wigfrid tea,,, also looks at how things might go if they ever do go out of the constant,,,,
adelaide (her hc real name for those who are new here) went through an entire metamorphosis from her time in the real world, to first entering the constant, to when she actually became wigfrid as we know her today. however, just because they're 'different people' doesn't mean that you can't see flickers of one in the other, or vice versa.
where there are some people (her audience, mainly) who adelaide would bend to the whims of almost immediately, beyond that she had a surprisingly strong spine. it took a lot of effort and will to claw her way to the position she had, and she did all of that on her own. it stands to reason you'd learn to stand your ground on most things (again, audience) after long enough of that.
however, um. the thing abt adelaide is that. she hates herself. and wigfrid loves herself. which makes it pretty difficult to share a lot of qualities with adelaide, when remembering adelaide too deeply makes you loose your damn mind. it's why wigfrid needs to keep the persona up. really, it's far thinner than most of the survivors would expect it to be… beyond having a better survival instinct and speaking without the accent, wigfrid reverting back to her old self wouldn't really change her by an astronomical amount.
If she were forced to go back to the real world… forced to be adelaide again. i think all of it would feel like a fever dream. i don't think she would really know how to be adelaide anymore- how to be anyone other than the persona she spent so long crafting. she's spent far too long conforming to a script to go off-book now. i think it would turn her into a paranoid recluse honestly
#headcanons#hiii rye hiiii hiiii 💕💕💕 we both should probably be doing school work rn. but hiiiiiiii 😊💕💕#i could talk abt adelaide for a million years honestly she's so fucking silly she's so nuanced#and rye since YOU'RE here and you would get this: to me. again. it feels so parallel to like a william thing#where ppl think that the two sides of themselves were so different and that one couldn't possibly be akin to the other#completely forgetting the fact that the old self was the very foundation FOR the new self#adelaide is mild mannered and sophisticated but she's not a pushover she's not meek to the point of helplessness#she fought and clawed tooth and nail to get a PRESTIGIOUS spot as a talented female actress-#-in a time period where the masses NEVER would have appreciated how difficult something like that was to do#her issue is not with her talent. it's not with her resolve. her issue is that she let her audience consume her.#she let them dictate her worth. she gave them her puppet strings and now she's in their debt forever. and without them she's nothing.#i don't know im digressing. im getting too silly for 8 am
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big pharma antidepressant marketing goes crazy the amount of times I see people on here happily accepting MONTHS of feeling ill every day on a drug bc ‘your body will get used to it one day’ like girl YOU ARE PAYING THEY WANT YOU TO GIVE THE DRUG MORE TIME BC YOU ARE PAYING 😭😭
#like I say this as someone who’s been on.. 3?4? diff ssris ?#like I have very complex but mostly negative feelings abt medication but it can serve a purpose as a tool / crutch in difficult times#it cannot be and will never work as a sole solution#and the expectation that one day the perfect med will turn up (that you’ll then be paying for for life !!) is fake babes !!!#the only treatment to chronic mental health is therapy and working on yourself sadly#the chemical imbalance Bs is a myth 😭😭😭#<- sorry that’s def a perspective from me w depression anxiety ptsd mild psychosis and ocd like#maybe some conditions can be more medication dependent#but then antipsychotics literally are so bad for your body Idek man I think we should question more of these assumptions#it’s not like the mentally I’ll get a voice in any of these prescriptions of what’s ‘best for us’#like not to sound foucauldian but it was not the institutionalised who’s voices where being heard when deciding how to treat them !#the entire industry is corrupt 😭#electro convulsive therapy still happens in hospitals to this day ! it’s still a treatment !!#(my perspective comes as someone fortunate enough to have had several courses of cbt and psychotherapy for FREE. I understand that therapy#is more expensive than meds for many people. exploitative dehumanising evil industry)#oh and the biggest irony of this whole circus is that#of course if you’re unwell every day with side effects from medication you won’t be thriving mentally#and guess what that means !! more money to line more pharma company pockets buying more pills !!#like my side affects from going off ssris the last 1.5 weeks had made me feel HORRIBLE#luckily I have the knowledge and awareness to identity that those are THE MEDS#that is not my brain making me sick (I don’t need more meds)
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#these pictures are super difficult for a lot of reasons but like the most fucked up one is that i had forgotten that basically EVERY PIC#i took back then i made the same dumb ass face that my mother HATED bc my face has ALWAYS favoured the left when ive smiled#&so i just. exaggerated it to hide it bc of course lmao.#&if the shit was bad BEFORE its fucking impossble to miss my crooked ass fucking smile smirk#now that the right side of my face will always respond a bit slower than my left like what the fuck 😭😭😭#i should be extremely grateful for how little long lasting anything ive seen in regards to all that ESP wrt#my already demolished eyes lmao#but fuck me if the old pics dont make me all like. well PAST ME your jokes are even less funny NOW than they were THEN 🙃#(also i guess theyre hard to look at bc my mom is in one&i couldnt just spit on it bc i suck LMAO)
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