#StartExploring

[travassaholidays]

Travassa Holidays

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[turkeyevisas]

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[thinkpink212]

I'm so not happy at how my life is right now, do you have any advice on how to turn my life 360? like where do I even begin?????? I'm so confused and I'm just 22 like I just wanna live my happy little lifeee

love your blog 💕💗

Awww love, Firstly, you are 22 YOUR LIFE IS JUST AT THE BEGINING! But sure, if you want to do a full 360, start with what you want to do/be. If you don't know I suggest you get a decently paid job, get that money up and startexploring and researching. Watch videos of people who work within the fields you are interested in. If it requires an education/degree, enroll. If not, find out how you get into the industry. You can do this through networking, getting jobs that give you a better chance, getting into said industry, etc. Regardless, know that you are young, those whose lives are happening that young usually have luck to praise or parents who invested in it for them.

Start setting healthy habits. Want a better body, work out (yes even at home, walks, floor exercises etc) Want to be a content creator? Start writing down ideas you have, get comfortable speaking (in the camera, the mirror etc) Regardless of what you do, you need a clear plan first. You can even ask ChatGBT how you achieve them if you write down your ideas (the more detailed, the better) and it'll give you a plan.

Hope this helps, Goodluck.

[butts-bouncing-on-the-beltway]

I've been going back and forth about whether or not I felt emotionally able to respond to any of these posts and if so which ones and I think this is the only one that I feel the balance of "the cost of contributing vs the value of contributing" weighs out for me.

I don't think anything about my life in this area was normal, for the good and for the bad. I talk a lot on this blog about growing up queer in a queer family and the ways that was amazing and affirming and uniquely painful. Sometimes I'll even talk specifically about the gendered aspects of it. But for the most part I have just never felt like my experiences were anything like most of my community peers because of being surrounded by my community and culture all my life.

Being intersex is different tho. It mattered even when it wasn't supposed to, even when under other circumstances the social construct of it all would've been challenged by the adults in my life. Even when the adults in my life took active steps prevent it from mattering.

My mom read about Baby X when she was in her 20s, and she had a lot of opinions about it. I won't get into all of it, but suffice to say that when she decided to have a kid, she made a pact with herself that she would raise me with as few gendered expectations as she could manage, and would let me express for myself what I valued or prioritized about my relationship with gender. If someone bought toddler me clothes for my AFAB, she would go to the thrift store and buy me clothes to balance out my wardrobe, and she put me in everything with only concern for color coordination if she picked it out and only concern for what I asked for if I did. I wore dresses and suits and skirts and whatever I felt like wearing. I got baby dolls, kitchenettes, hotwheels kits, tool sets, and everything in between when Mom picked up toys. It mattered more that she could pick it up with a couple dollars from a garage sale than what it actually was. It's not like she hid gender from me (although she's apologized in years since, saying she felt like she was more explicit about telling me things from the way she wished they were, rather than always directly acknowledging others wouldn't see it that way). But I was always pretty explicitly told that I could make of my own gender and sexuality whatever I wanted.

And then puberty started. Or. Went wrong maybe. My body started changing too much, too early, and then stopped changing long before it was "supposed" to be finished. My doctors kept getting more and more anxious as I got older and kept not following the sexual development timeline they expected, or "catching up" even as they had worried and scolded and induced slowed development when I was 8 and visibly undergoing puberty.

And when I was 15, they gave me a diagnosis. Said my body was wrong. Said the only way to fix it was hormone replacement therapy. I asked why and they told me "cancer, infertility, abnormal development" as if all these things should be equally fearful to a high school sophomore. I asked them how I'd know when I could stop. They told me "when your reproductive system can do it independently" as if there was no life to be lived outside of what they decided my body should look and feel like.

I took the HRT and I cried and locked myself away when my body changed. It did what they wanted now, so my doctors were happy. They said it made me healthy. My mom didn't understand why I wanted to kill myself now though. She couldn't understand why I cared so much about "growing up". No one gave me the language to say that she had let my doctors take away my right to grow up how I wanted.

When I was in my 20s, my wife and I started talking about kids. I went to my doctor to startexploring the medical side of conceiving or raising children given my overall medical complexity, and was told that my doctors had been right to warn me about infertility, because from the looks of my reproductive system, I didn't have the capacity to reproduce. Probably never would. My hormones were "fine" now, no sign of deviance, my secondary sex characteristics (the external ones at least) had all grown in "normally", but I didn't make my half of the conceptive material. Probably never would. My doctor said I could stop the HRT now if I wanted, see if letting my body "try to run on its own" would do the trick. Warned me to plan for adoption, as if loving a child I didn't make myself was a concilation prize. I couldn't help remembering sitting in my step-mother's car in a grocery store parking lot at age 17 and sobbing to her that I just wanted them to take my reproductive system out instead of making me keep taking my medicine, and being told by a woman who raised me without birthing me that I would regret not being able to have my own kids someday because "raising someone else's child is different." I never took the meds again, and my wife and I are looking forward to adopting when my health improves enough to coparent effectively. I sometimes still have nightmares of our child being taken from us because I'm too wrong, too unacceptable, for the state to allow me to adopt. But I continue to lack any real interest in having my own child, as well as lacking the physiological capacity even if I did.

It took me a really long time to accept that I had a right to access hormone therapy that actually affirmed my body again, because I didn't feel like I was properly trans. I'd never really "lived like" a trans person. Just. Me. I didn't experience myself as "not my AGAB" or as having experienced the wrong puberty (at least not without intentional intervention) or as any of the ways that I heard trans people discussing their relationship between body and gender.

I wasn't cis either though. Not just because I'd had naturally blended secondary sex characteristics for as long as I could remember, but because I was, and had been for years, so traumatically dysphoric in my embodied experience of gender and sex presentation that I could barely exist in my physical reality anymore. Certainly cis people had never seen me as one of them, and while in my family and primary community, that had never really been a bad thing, but neither had they protected me from outsiders to our family and community deciding that it should be.

The limbo and erasure of it all felt so alienating that it's only been in the last two years that I've been able to seek medical repair of what was done to my sexual and reproductive development. It feels weird and scary to do so from my origin point, and I have to be really careful how I describe myself to my providers so I don't get put through extra checks and barriers to access my new and affirming hrt. I do feel more myself than I have in so long.

I also feel so deeply unable to talk about that process of becoming with anyone. I feel like I get misunderstood or go unheard, and I feel like people take my expression of self personally towards their identity, cis or trans. It's hard to exist in spaces of deliberate and enforced silence. It's hard to relearn how to see myself when I've never seen anyone talk about something or someone who is just. Allowed to look like me.

I find gender as a concept deeply alienating and uncomfortable. It's hard to get to the point of thinking about gender when coming to it from the perspective of someone who's first real motivation to interact with it at all came from a violent rejection of a naturally occurring atypical sexual development path that had at no point itself caused any distress or discomfort.

❗️❗️ This is asked entirely in good faith. This post is intended to open dialogue and help with solidarity and understanding. ❗️❗️

I would like to hear specifically from intersex people how the system of perisexism/interphobia uniquely targets and affects you. Things that you feel other demographics do not experience. Reblogs and replies are very encouraged! If you would prefer, you could dm or send an ask to be added anonymously by me.

This is in the spirit of wanting to understand. I am listening. I encourage all perisex people to not speak on this topic and let intersex people do the talking here. Reblog the post to spread it, but please say nothing.

Any and all people who are intersex are encouraged to participate. This is not agab-locked. No matter your official diagnosis status, or your specific variation, if you are intersex, this post is for you. Even if you have already posted on the transgender posts, you may still post here. Your thoughts and opinions are welcome here.

This is not bait to start a fight. I will block without hesitation anyone who is actively being a shithead on this post. I want to hear and uplift your voices by getting it directly from you.

Click this to access the trans fem and trans women version of this post.

Click this to access the trans masc and trans men version of this post.

Click this to access the nonbinary version of this post.

[finndit]

Finndit will help you to connect with right #localbusiness near you. #finndit #thenewwaytosearch #localbusiness #nearyou #yoga #yogatraining #athome #2020vision #babysitting #services #startexploring (at Mohali, India) https://www.instagram.com/p/CEikecBnfqD/?igshid=tvz4740tw19s

[astonishinglife001]

When you start reading books, you start exploring and you start exploring your life starts changing and you start growing.

[touroxy]

The world is full of wonderful things you haven't seen yet. Don't ever give up on the chance of seeing them. Visit www.touroxy.com Start your #journey with @tour.oxy #hill #tourism #wanderer #skylovers #cloudlovers #startexploring #traveladdict #touroxy #travelgram #fullpower #SpYsR #lakeship #aceathon #quizboat #yujik #travelling #traveltheworld #paragliding #trekking #workhardanywhere #bethechange #lovetotravel✈

[frenchraisins]

Photo of a school of fish taken in 2015 at @shangrilamactan. #whenincebu #lovelocal #startexploring #travelstoriesph (at Mactan, Cebu, Philippines)

[bigskytreks]

Namaste and good morning for everybody #namaste #goodmorning #swayambhunath #swayambhu #nepal #citytour #nepalcitytour #kathmanducitytour #bigskytreks #trek #trekwithus #pokharanepal #pokhara #centerpoint #kathmandu #travel #travelling #bigsky #trekkingagency #travelagent #travelagency #nepalguide #trekkingguide #bhaktitrekkingguide #bhakti #monkey #monkeytemple #bestviewofthecity #bestplace #trekwithus #youarewelcome #visit #wonderlust #amber #complete #riverpark #riverparkhotel #annapurnatrek #centerpoint #everesttrek #annapurnabasecamptrek #funtravel #goodfriends #gototravel #gotonepal #trektonepal #hatan #hashtag #inside #justtravel #kathmandu #lakeside6 #loveofmylife #llovemalaysia #malaysiangroup #malaysiatravel #nepaltrip #nepaltourism #openyourheart #starterpack #startexploring #urwelcome #visitmountain #wonderlust #wearethere #welovetravel #youarewelcome (at Swayambhunath)

[touroxy]

No one realizes how beautiful it is to travel until he comes home and rest his head on his old, familiar pillow Visit www.touroxy.com Start #travelling with @tour.oxy #stargazingwithbae #tourismofindia #touroxy #cloudlovers #skylovers #mountainsarecalling #mountainbike #lovetotravel✈ #SpYsR #lakeship #yujik #quizboat #startexploring #visitindia #amazingplaces #amazingkerala #followforfollow #flyspysr #like4like #commentforcomment #travelgram #travelgirl (at Touroxy)

[frenchraisins]

We finally had the courage to move our blog to a self-hosted platform. It's still the same web address, www.ivankhristravels.com, so all old links will still work. Comments and suggestions are much welcome. Happy Sunday! [About the photo: taken at @shangrilamactan last March 2015]. #travel #travelPH #amazingphilippines #choosephilippines #itsmorefuninthephilippines #personalblog #wordpress #selfhostedwordpress #traveldiaries #travelphotography #explorephilippines #exploredestinations #travelstoriesph #travelstoriesworld #ivankhristravels #travelnarratives #seeitforyourself #earthfocus #vscocam #vscocamph #philippinebeaches #startexploring #lovelocal #whenincebu (at Quezon City, Philippines)

[explorewatersports-blog]

Stop existing, Start living! Log on to explorewatersports.com and book your adventure. #startexploring #ExploreWatersports#experience #travel #travelgram#natgeotravel #condenasttravel#adventuretravel #life #journeys#makememories #rediscoveryourself

[explorewatersports-blog]

Start plotting guys! . . . #getout #getaway #weekend #weekendvibes#saturdaymood #saturdayfeels#weekendgetaway #mood #traveltheworld#travelgoals #aroundtheworld #travellife#globe #travelgram #travelblogger#travelmore #startexploring #exploreitall#explorewatersports For more: www.explorewatersports.com

[explorewatersports-blog]

Its good to take some time off and give it to yourself. #truewords #boringofficelife #thrillitup#startexploring #weekendishere#weekendvibes #getaway #weekendgetaway#adventuretime #adventurelife #watersports#ocean #beach #beachlife #SquadGoals#waterbaby #adventure #adrenaline #sea#divein #JustDoIt #ExploreMore#ExploreWatersports