#T-5150

[danisha-tdh]

[T-5150 HAS NOW AWAKE AND READY TO COMMAND]

About HIM:

T-5150 is an assistant of Commander Tartar. He's a menace and always talks about disturbing jokes (don't ask him about humans though). He never seen any Inklings due to his absence from a post-game Octo Expansion, since Tartar hasn't completed his very own subject form (yet). He's a quick learner whenever he sees any living creature's activity, he'll follow when no Tartar surroundings. As you fight with him, he's more difficult than Inner agent 3. However, he does recognise Trapper since he was told by Tartar that he was inspired by Experiment no.5150 (Trapper).

One fact: he always smiles for making an great appearance. But if you make him upset, he'll count 10 seconds.

His theme and profile icon

Silly doodles and first concept design

(Feat Commander Tartar design by @monicracar )

[silvcrignis]

@solitaria-fantasma​ liked/reblogged this post for an obscure lyrics starter

“& I be in the parties ONLY if it’s  poppin’ top models? Coppin’ pop bottles often That’s no QUESTION I’m turned UP!”

[englishstrawbie]

Station 19 6x09

Maya being unable to concentrate on her meditation because all she can think about is Carina is relatable.

I’m still processing what we saw of Carina so this might be jumbled at time.

I felt for how nervous she was about turning up at the fire station for the clinic. At the end of the day (and as we saw in Jack and a little bit of Ben), these are Maya’s people. Yes, they like / love Carina too, but Maya is their family. They know enough to be concerned, but I don’t think they know enough about the extent of what is going on in Maya and Carina’s marriage or perhaps even the extent of Maya’s healing process - that would be consistent with what we’ve seen already. So the comment that she almost didn’t walk through the door felt very real.

She is obviously carrying a lot of hurt and anger and resentment at what happened that day at the hospital, so ignoring Maya’s voicemail at first and focussing on her work is understandable. She needs to compartmentalise. 

The patient, Pam, was a bit much but in general it was okay. Like Carina said herself, she needed the distraction and the laugh at work today, and that’s what Pam provided. Carina has been carrying so much for so many months that it was nice for her to have the attention and for the conversation to be light and easy and fun. Do I wish that they’d shown us Carina’s answer to being asked out on a date? Yes. I’ve seen some rumblings that Pam is a recurring character, so it makes me a little nervous that we might see her again given how the conversation was left. But do I think that Carina is going to walk away from her marriage and settle down to have a baby with this woman she just met? No. 

The more interesting part was the conversation around the fact that Pam had made the decision to have a baby by herself which - let’s face it - is an option I could easily see the writers taking with Carina. She wants a baby more than anything - ouch. More than her marriage? More than Maya healing? It happens, the desire to have a baby is so strong that people walk away from relationships - I’ve seen it in real life. 

“My wife is... was a big part of that dream too” - double ouch. The fact that she changed her words to the past tense made me sad, that she’s now thinking about what this dream looks like without Maya. At the moment, and with the firm belief that all of this angst will eventually lead to them getting back together, I am rationalising that with the fact that Carina is hurting. She hasn’t had the benefit of breaking down her feelings with Diane or anyone else - at least, not that we’ve seen. She doesn’t know what her future looks like, if her marriage is going to survive, so she’s trying to figure out what that dream looks like by herself. 

But then, she still went home - for what? Shampoo she could have bought at the drug store and a few coats? Hmm. I take comfort in the fact that, having eventually listened to Maya’s voicemail, she decides to go home, maybe to see for herself if Maya’s words are true. Because, let’s face, Maya might tell her that she’s working on herself and trying to be better, but there are good reasons not to believe her. 

But Carina is not going to jump back in. The hurt of seeing Maya so broken in the hospital bed, of hearing Maya scream her name and blame her when all she was trying to do was protect her, is not something she can just forget - and I’m glad she told Maya that. The way her voice cracked was heartbreaking, but it also shows how much she loves Maya. And she’s angry that she had to go so far as to get a 5150 because Maya wouldn’t listen to her and wouldn’t get help when she begged her. For six months. So yes, great, Maya is going through the steps and of course that’s what Carina wants - but she didn’t do it when Carina asked.

She’s doing it because the fire department is making her. 

Of course we, as viewers, know a lot more because we got to see the conversations between Maya and Diane last week. But Carina didn’t - all she sees is that Maya is doing this to get her job back because, once again, it comes back to her fear that she is second best to Maya’s career. That their marriage, their family and the desire to have a baby is second best.

That is a point I really hope they address in the near future. 

[metalnecklace]

There Was Heaven In Your Eyes

Pairing: Javier Peña x Reader (plus size)

Words: 5150

Warnings: Mentions of Fatphobia/Struggles With Weight, Internal Fatphobia, Mentions of Violence (description of an event from the show)

Notes: This one got away from me a bit, but I love writing Javi so much.

Masterlist

Chapter 5

I was always wary when it came to clothes shopping. It wasn’t easy finding clothes my size, and only a few stores actually carried them. I sheepishly explained this to Javi, keeping my head down so he wouldn’t see the burn settling onto my cheeks. I was embarrassed, especially since I hadn’t had to go shopping with anybody but myself before. Even when Pablo sent someone out to get clothes for us, all I had to do was give instructions. They didn’t care where I needed clothes from, as long as I kept my mouth shut and his family happy.

I was fumbling through an explanation of why I can only go to certain places when Javi interrupted me.

“(Y/N), sweetheart, it’s alright.” I looked up and noticed his face was soft, trying his best to treat me delicately. “I’m not a clothes shopper myself, I just go to the nearest store and grab whatever fits. You just tell me where you need to go and I’ll take you there, okay? Cálmate.” (Calm down.).

“Okay.” I took a deep breath, then put my shoes on. “I’m ready, let’s do this.”

Javier laughed and shook his head before stepping aside to let me out the door. He locked up behind us and we drove off to the clothing store I had in mind.

It was much easier shopping with him than I expected. He kept his distance, only every once in a while making a comment about fashion choices or about the underwear I was trying to sort through.

“You’re really not helping,” I huffed, my arms crossed.

He put down the thong he was holding and held his hands up in surrender. “Sorry, sorry. Here, I’ll hold your stuff, you get what you need.”

I grumbled under my breath as I handed him the few shirts and pants I had found. He graciously held onto my things and turned his back to give me some sort of privacy.

“You could get more than this, you know,” he spoke softly, keeping our conversation private.

“I’m not going to spend all your money on extra things.” I continued digging through the bin of underwear, trying to find enough of them to be comfortable with.

“Come on, you know I don’t mind. I’m certainly not spending it.” I chuckled, walking toward the bras in the next bin. He sidestepped to stay behind me. “If you’re really that upset about it though, you don’t have to wear clothes at all.”

I ignored his last comment. “Well I really appreciate it.”

He turned around as I was picking up a second bra. “Got everything?”

I bit my lip, looking at my choices in both our arms. “Yeah, I think so. I just need the basics.”

We walked toward the check out when he stopped suddenly.

“What is it?” I asked, slightly panicked.

“Come this way,” he said, walking toward another section in the store. He didn’t seem worried or on high alert, which helped me calm down.

We walked over to some dresses and he nodded his head in the direction of one that was hung up so it was easy to see from anywhere in the store.

“That’s beautiful.” He turned and smiled at me. “And that’s coming from someone who doesn’t know much about fashion.”

“So how do you know it’s beautiful?” I asked, even though I knew it was. It was a yellow sundress that was fitted through the top and flared out from the waist. The sleeves were shorter than on his t-shirts, and the length of the dress would come halfway down my thighs.

He opened his mouth and closed it again, thinking to himself. “Okay, you got me there, but come on.”

“Javier, I can’t. Where would I even wear it?”

“Anytime, anywhere,” he took it off the rack, holding it out to me. “It’s even the same size you’ve been getting, that has to be a sign.”

He wouldn’t say no, and even took it upon himself to carry it, along with my shirts and pants, up to the cash. As we got there I realized the woman who was working was eyeing up Javi quite obviously.

“Hi, Javi,” she greeted, only looking at me to look me up and down before completely ignoring my presence. “How’ve you been?”

He smiled back at her. “Hey Christina, I’ve been alright. You?”

“Can’t complain,” she was smitten with him. I hated how jealous I felt.

She finished scanning everything and looked at me for the total, only for him to slap some cash down in front of her. She was clearly shocked that he was the one paying, and was probably shocked he was even with me, but she didn’t voice any of this. She didn’t have to.

We thanked her and walked to his car. I couldn’t help but feel slightly deflated while thinking about that beautiful woman and the way she said his name. No, not his name, his nickname. The one he wanted me to call him.

“Who was that?” I asked before I could stop myself.

Javier was buckling himself into the car. He pulled out a cigarette and lit it, inhaling the smoke. I suddenly wanted to wipe that smirk off his face as he turned to look at me.

“Why do you wanna know?”

“No reason,” I turned to look out the window as if the parking lot was the most interesting thing in the world.

He hummed and started the car. “She was an informant years ago. When I first moved here. They usually want visas in exchange for information, but she just wanted a regular job. I see her every once in a while, I’m glad she’s doing well.”

I didn’t say anything else for the rest of the drive. It settled in the thing I had suspected about him. When we first met, the way he spoke to me. He flirted as hard as he could to get his way, not that I gave in. When we went to his work, the way all the women looked at us. I thought they were judging me, but as I looked back I realized they were looking at him.

The more I thought about it the more I understood how I felt. I didn’t want to be just another informant of his. I didn’t want to be just another woman hanging off his neck.

I didn’t judge him for his actions, that wouldn’t be fair. He was an adult, he was his own person who could do whatever he wanted. But that didn’t mean I wanted to be someone he could fool around with until he didn’t feel I was useful anymore.

I shook my head, trying to get rid of my train of thought. It wasn’t like it was worth even worrying about. I had seen the women that drooled over him. I was not like them at all. I wasn’t jealous of them, every person was different, and they were all gorgeous. I was just bigger than I figured he wanted, so I didn’t have anything to worry about.

He would not be interested in me. He was just being a kind human being.

We got home and I stopped in my tracks.

“Where am I going to put these?”

He paused, then turned toward his room. “I’ll just make space, I don’t have a lot in my drawers.”

“Come on, you can’t keep making room for me.” I followed him into his room to find him already moving his clothes from the top drawers down into the two bottom ones. He was right, he didn’t really own a lot.

He gestured to the two, now empty, top drawers. “There you go.”

I sighed, giving up. “Thank you, again.”

He went into the kitchen while I put my clothes away. Everything fit in the drawers but I decided to hang the dress up in the back of the closet to avoid wrinkles. Not that I knew when I’d be wearing it next. When I was finished I met up with him in the kitchen where he was making coffee.

“I’m gonna make you coffee the way my dad likes his,” he said, getting out the cream and sugar. “I wanna see if you’ll like it too.”

I sat at the table and waited patiently. I was starting to get a little tired, so I was grateful for the pick me up he was now pouring into my cup. He stirred in some cream and sugar and placed it in front of me.

“There you go,” he smiled, obviously proud of himself with a hint of nervousness.

I took a sip and hummed at the taste. “This is perfect, Javier.”

He sighed and turned to his drink. “Yeah, but not perfect enough for the nickname apparently.”

I laughed and took another sip, the sweetness melting on my tongue while the bitterness of Christina’s voice saying his nickname ran through my head.

We drank our coffee together until he finished his and stood up. “I gotta go, or Steve will have my head.”

“That’s alright, this was great but I’m still a bit tired.” I stood up and grabbed both of our mugs, only for him to take them out of my hands.

“I got these, why don’t you go have some rest. I shouldn’t be as late tonight, okay? Why don’t we cook together?” He looked very hopeful. “I’d love for you to teach me a new recipe.”

“That sounds wonderful. What’s something you’d like to learn?” I watched him as he washed our mugs at the sink.

“Whatever you’d want to teach me would be new. I’m not a great cook,” he said. “I can cook the basics and keep myself alive, and all. But I’m not great.”

I started walking to his room, ready to get off my feet again. “Alright, I’ll come up with something simple.” I turned back to him. “Or would that still be too difficult?”

He laughed and faced me. “Hit me with your best shot, sweetheart. I can take it.”

The heat I felt from his eyes was enough to make me cut the conversation off there. I wished him a good day and went to take a shower to cool myself off.

I had a harder time falling asleep, probably because of the coffee, but I also couldn’t stop thinking of Javier. His smell surrounded me, the smoky haze of whiskey, smoke, and something sweet and warm and him. I could feel heat pooling in my belly and between my thighs, but refused to do anything about it. It felt inappropriate especially since I was a guest in his home. In his bed.

Eventually I fell asleep, and woke up not long after. I spent the rest of the afternoon relaxing around his apartment, picking one of his books on his bookshelf to read from. It wasn’t very thrilling, and I ended up falling asleep again, this time on one of the chairs.

“You’d probably be more comfortable on the couch.” Javier’s voice pulled me out of my sleep. “Or the bed.”

I sat up straighter, my neck feeling tight. I rubbed the back of it with my hand and tried to blink away the sleep. It was dark out, and the clock on the wall said it was nearing midnight.

I focused on the man now toeing off his shoes and taking off his jacket. His shirt was slightly damp underneath, the top two buttons undone showing off a slight sheen on his collarbones. His hair looked absolutely wild, as if he’d been running his hands through it all day, and there was no doubt in my mind that he had been. The circles under his eyes were darker than they had been before he left, and I desperately wanted to run my thumbs over his forehead in order to smooth out the creases that had settled in deeply.

“Javier,” I croaked out, my throat dry, “I’m so sorry. I was reading and fell asleep.”

He nodded, not looking at me, just wandering to the kitchen. I knew what he was grabbing.

“Yeah, that book never kept me awake either.”

I heard him pouring his whiskey into a glass, and then pausing before pouring some into another glass. He came out and handed me mine before laying down on his couch, his shirt now open a few more buttons. I felt like a teenager blushing over seeing just a bit more of his chest, and hid behind my glass.

“Sorry I’m later than expected. Again. I couldn’t get near a phone to warn you.”

“Rough day?” I asked, even though I knew the answer. I wasn’t sure if he was the type to want to talk about it or not.

He took a large swig of his drink. “You could say that.”

We sat together in the silence as it sat heavy between us. I wanted to ask more but didn’t want to push.

“One of my superiors returned this week. He’s the head of the Search Bloc, which I’m sure you can figure out what that is.” I nodded, listening intently. “I was excited to have him back. He’s the one guy that Escobar’s afraid of.”

Wait a minute. I’d heard of him. Pablo’s men talked about him a lot, right around when…

“He’s the one that killed Gustavo.” I didn’t even ask, my voice barely above a whisper.

Javi’s eyes shifted to mine. “Yeah. He is.”

“That’s good then, isn’t it?” I took a drink of my whiskey, wincing slightly at the burn. “If anybody will get him, it’s him.”

He finished his drink, placing his glass on the floor before laying his arm across his face. “Yeah.”

His voice sounded strained. There was more he wasn’t telling me.

“Javier,” I said as softly as I could, “what’s wrong?”

He shook his head. “Nothing, sweetheart. Don’t you worry about me. I’m just exhausted is all.”

“I thought you said we had to be honest.”

He paused, his arm still draped across his eyes. Suddenly he sat up, scrubbing at his face before staring at a spot on the table.

“He’s not the same as before. More focused, more bloodthirsty.”

I furrowed my eyebrows, my glass long forgotten. “What do you mean?”

He brought his cigarette to his lips, his hand trembling slightly when trying to light it. He inhaled, his eyes closing at the comfort, and exhaled before facing me. His eyes were bloodshot, and red rimmed as though he had been crying. How did I not see that when he came in?

“He shot a kid. Right in front of me. I thought he was just threatening them, showing what happens when you get involved with a cartel at that age, but then he just fucking shot one point blank. God, (Y/N), I just, fuck.”

He pressed his palm to his forehead, smoke rising from between his fingers. I stood up and sat down on the couch beside him. I wasn’t sure what kind of comfort he needed, and decided to place my hand on his knee, my thumb rubbing circles on the denim covering his skin.

He looked down at my actions and took a deep breath in and out. “This job can be brutal, this life can be, we both know that, but watching that was tough. All his friends were there watching, and I can’t help but think about how they’re going to live the rest of their lives after seeing that happen. It’s not fair.”

I realized why I hadn’t seen the red surrounding his eyes before, and it was because he had just started crying. He was holding it in but the tears still spilled down his cheeks every once in a while, causing him to scoff and wipe them away as quickly as possible.

We sat together, my hand on his knee while he tried to keep his sadness within. Finally I took my hand away and placed it on his back instead, and rested my head on his shoulder.

“You don’t have to hold yourself together. You’ve been through enough wars, you don’t have to fight one within yourself too.”

I could feel him nodding, and then sniffling.

“Why don’t you grab a shower and I’ll make us something quick to eat,” I suggested, pulling back.

He looked up at me, his eyes straying between my eyes and my lips. The distance between us wasn’t significant, and all it would’ve taken was the slightest shift forward to have our lips pressing together. Instead he leaned back and stood up, silently walking toward his room to grab his clothes.

I got up and started making a stir fry, just something quick and easy. It only took about ten minutes to get everything ready, but when I went to tell Javier I instead found him stretched out on his couch, one arm up over his head, the other angled so his hand was splayed on his stomach, and his eyes closed. I watched him for a moment, and noticed the lines etched between his eyebrows were starting to smooth out, and the frown tugging at his lips was giving up the fight. I wished I could see him at ease like that more often. I also felt awful to see him sleeping on that couch, and wondered how his back hadn’t given out yet.

I plated his food and stuck it in the fridge so he could have it the next time he was ready for a meal. I stood at the counter and ate my portion, before putting my plate in the sink and making my way to bed.

He was gone when I woke up the next morning, the only thing left behind were both our dishes cleaned and in the drying rack, and a note on the counter saying he’d see me when he could.

I didn’t see him for two days.

When he finally came back he looked rough. He explained he had to travel a bit, and that he was glad to be home. But I could tell he wasn’t telling me everything.

It went like that for a week or two. He’d leave for a few days, then come back, then be gone again. There were a few times that the only way I could tell he had been around was when his plate had been cleared of food, and was sitting clean in the drying rack. Other times he’d return home well past midnight, smelling of smoke and a different perfume each. I wasn’t stupid, I knew what he was doing. I understood the need to escape reality no matter the means.

Most of all I missed his presence, and I had started to feel cooped up. I was only able to leave when he was with me, and since he was barely home that meant I was a sitting duck. This meant I was having similar feelings to when I was working for the Escobar’s, even though I at least felt safe at Javi’s.

Because of these feelings, I started having nightmares more frequently. They had become more intense, and flitted between being at the mercy of Pablo’s hands around my throat, and different situations like at the market or the bombing. Each time felt closer to reality, and I stopped sleeping during the day to escape them, hoping I would be too tired to dream at night.

One night was the worst. Pablo held me against the wall, my head aching almost as much as my lungs. It felt as though something heavy were sitting on my chest but I couldn’t seem to look down. I was struggling, but couldn’t move or make any sound. It felt like I was drowning, I was practically choking on air.

I was shaken awake, scrambling to fight off the person who had their hands on my shoulders.

“(Y/N)! (Y/N), sweetheart! It’s me,” Javi stood back, his hands off of me. “Hey, hey, it’s okay.”

His voice was soothing, but his eyes projected his worry.

I sat up, panting. My hands reached for my throat and found nothing there. I looked past Javi and around his room. I was in his room. I was safe.

Javi knelt down onto his knees so his elbows were resting on the bed and his hands reached for mine. I flinched when I felt his touch, but immediately relaxed when I realized it was him.

“That was a rough one, wasn’t it?” He whispered, trying to keept he air around us steady and calm. It was working.

I nodded, unable to form words. My cheeks felt warm, and as I reached up to touch them I realized I had been crying. I was still crying.

“Are you okay?” He asked, his eyes were nearly black in the dark room, but I could still see that they were frantically searching my face.

I nodded again, then slowly started to shake my head. My shoulders trembled all the way down to my fingertips as sobs started to overtake my body. Before I could even blink Javi had his arms wrapped around me. I cried into the crook of his neck as he rubbed my back.

“It’s okay,” he whispered, “let it out, sweetheart. I got you. Nothing's gonna hurt you, not while I’m here. I promise. It’s alright, I’m here.”

I listened to his words like he was a hypnotist, and eventually my tears subsided. I pulled back and looked down at my hands folded in my lap.

“T-thank you,” I hiccuped, still too embarrassed to look at him.

He reached out and held my chin between his thumb and pointer finger, raising my head slightly so he could see my face properly.

“You don’t ever need to thank me. That’s what I’m here for right?” I nodded, still held gently in his grip. “Now, how many of these have you been having lately?”

“A lot. Every night,” I confessed, unable to lie in that moment. He could have asked me anything and I would’ve sang the whole truth to him. “This one was the worst.”

“Fuck, cariño,” he moved his hand so he held my cheek in his palm. I leaned my face into it, finding comfort in the heat of his skin, my skin on fire with his nickname for me now in Spanish. “I’m so sorry you’ve been dealing with this alone, I should have been here.”

“It’s okay, it sounds like you’ve been dealing with nightmares of your own. Only, yours are actually happening every day.” My voice sounded wrecked, and I wondered if I had been screaming in real life as loud as I wanted to in my dream.

He lowered his head so our eyes were leveled. “That does not make what you’re going through any less difficult. I’m assuming you’re dreaming about shit you’ve already been through, yeah?”

“Yeah,” I whispered. “I just keep seeing it over and over, like I’m trapped. I just want it to stop.”

“I know, baby, I know.” He leaned forward and pressed his lips to my forehead. “I know.”

It was as though he pressed a button, and an immediate wave of calm washed over me. My eyelids fluttered shut, my shoulders melted away from my ears, and my whole body rocked slightly toward him. When he pulled away I had to stop myself from whimpering at the loss of contact.

I tried to open my eyes and focus on him but I was suddenly so exhausted that I couldn’t. He stood up from the bed and went over to his drawers, pulling out his one pair of sweatpants I just kept washing, and a soft gray t-shirt to match.

“I’m gonna go take a shower and give you some space to sleep, okay?” He asked while standing in the doorway. His shoulders looked so broad that I wondered how he could fit through the door, then nearly giggled at the thought.

“Okay,” I said, laying down once more.

I listened to the water running as he was showering, feeling calm that he was home, but something still didn’t feel right. The bed felt too large, like it was going to swallow me whole, and I still had a twitch resting in my muscles. Every time I started to drift to sleep Pablo’s face would show up, causing me to sit up and try to hold the tears back. I finally thought I had fallen asleep when another one happened, this time it was back at the school, only I didn’t see the car in the parking lot, I was instead cornered in my classroom. I sat up with a shout. I felt like I wanted to cry but my body was so exhausted that I couldn’t, I was just trying harder and harder to even out my breathing.

I listened for the shower and realized it was turned off, which meant Javi was back in the living room. I stumbled out of bed and made my way to where I thought he would be, but the couch was vacant. The beeping of the microwave gave away where he was and I walked into the kitchen only to realize then that I didn’t have a bra or pants on. It was too late, and I watched him nearly drop his plate at the sight of me.

“(Y/N), you almost gave me a heart attack, what’re you doing up?”

I found myself speechless as I watched the man in front of me start to spoon some of the soup I had made earlier into his mouth. I was standing there with my legs bare, and if I turned around almost my entire ass would be out because my underwear left barely any room for imagination. But he wasn’t any better, and had just his sweatpants hung low enough on his hips that before he turned around I caught a glimpse of the dimples on his lower back. Now with him facing me I had to look away before I was caught staring at the outline that his sweatpants did very little to hide in the dim light of the kitchen. His chest and torso weren’t any less distracting and I decided to just look at the floor to avoid embarrassment.

“I’m sorry, I just keep having nightmares and I can’t sleep.” I held my hands in front of me, trying to hide behind them a little.

“Do you want me to come sit with you? I wouldn’t mind some company while I had dinner. I could pull up a chair and talk your ear off until you get too bored and fall asleep.”

I laughed a bit, but then nodded. “That kind of sounds ridiculous but yeah, okay.”

“Alright, you go get back into bed. I’m just grabbing something to drink then I’ll be there.”

I did as he told me to and got myself comfortable. I turned on the lamp on the bedside table so he wasn’t eating in the dark, and buried myself up to my chin in the blankets. My hair was up in a messy bun on my pillow, and I knew it had to look ridiculous but I didn’t care enough to fix it.

He walked in and his face softened when he laid his eyes on me. “You look so cozy in my bed,” he said, while placing his plate and glass (whiskey in it of course) on the bedside table. “I’m just gonna go grab a chair, then I’ll be back alright?”

He sat and ate while I listened to him tell me about random things he does at work. I could tell he was glossing over the difficult things, and mostly told me what he liked to do to bother Steve the most. He explained what had been going on with Steve and his wife, Connie.

“You’d really like her, I hope you get to meet her.” He swallowed his last bite of food and downed the rest of his drink. “You look pretty tired, I’ll leave you to get some more sleep.” He stood up, and collected his dishes. He walked off to the kitchen and I could hear him putting his stuff in the sink before he came back to get his chair. “If you need anything at all I’m just in the next room, okay?”

I thought about him walking out of the room, and not knowing when I would see him again. Would he be back the next night? Or would it be another week before he was back again? The thought alone caused my heart to race, and once again I was looking at a man who had become my lifeline.

“Javi?” I asked, my voice barely loud enough for him to hear, but he still did. He froze in the doorway, holding the chair, and turned to look at me. His face was even softer as he gazed upon my form all wrapped up under the covers. “Stay?”

“Sweetheart, I-”

“Please.”

He stood in the doorway for a moment, before nodding. “Okay, let me just put this away.”

I waited while he put the chair away and quickly washed the dishes in the sink. He seemed to pause for a moment before making his way back into his room. I had turned off the light by the time he was back, and he had no problem finding his way in the dark over to his side of the bed.

The bed sunk down slightly under his weight as he slipped underneath the covers. It wasn’t a small bed, but it wasn’t big enough to allow a lot of space between us. I turned on my side to face him, the blankets covered right up to my chin, and found him facing me already. He was on his back, the blankets only up to his chest, with his arms folded on top, and his head was turned to the side so he could look at me.

“Hello,” I whispered. “Fancy seeing you here.”

We burst out laughing, easing the tension settled in the inch of space between our bodies. I could feel him relax more, and his smile took up more of his face than before.

“You just had to use the nickname didn’t you?”

I smiled. “Another moment of weakness. Won’t happen again.”

He shook his head, laughing. “Yeah, yeah, cariño, get some sleep.”

“Good night,” I whispered, and rolled over so my back was facing him.

“Night,” he answered.

I woke up at some point with a weight over my middle, and his entire body plastered against my back. I didn’t even open my eyes. His breaths puffing against my neck lulled me back to sleep.

When I woke up again he was gone.

[fuckyeahvanhalen86-95]

Backstage Auctions, Inc. has announced The Alex Van Halen Collection, the auction house's most anticipated and historical auction event of the year featuring the personal collection of legendary Van Halen drummer Alex Van Halen.

Backstage Auctions says: "It is an unbelievable honor to represent one of the greatest rock drummers of all time and we could not be any more excited. Alex is the reason why so many people picked up a pair of drumsticks and this auction is a fantastic opportunity to see so many of his instruments and gear go to new homes. All of these pieces have a thick layer of magic 'Al' dust and we can only hope that it will bring boundless joy and thrills to their future owners."

The collection features over 350 lots, with a wide array of memorabilia, such as drum kits, snare drums, kick drums, road cases, drumheads, cymbals, gongs, sticks and mallets, personal items, record awards, autographed pieces and so much more. The auction is definitely one of those once-in-a-lifetime opportunities for fans and collectors to own a piece of van halen history. Each lot sold will come with a personally signed certificate of authenticity from Alex, which is a collectible in itself.

Alex says: "I always have pursued the best possible sound, which drove me every single day, every single album, and every single tour to be on top of my game. I hope that passing on all these pieces will inspire current and next generations to be the best they can be. Now, let's have some fun — VAN HALEN style!"

Each piece featured in the auction is essentially a highlight item, but among the standouts is the legendary "5150" tour kit, the 2015 tour kit (and the last kit Alex ever used in concert),his personal collection of vintage RIAA (Recording Industry Association Of America) record awards, the exceptionally rare rosewood snare drums that helped define his signature sound, the eye-catching and iconic gongs, a kick drum from the early backyard party days, and even a piano from the Van Halen family home.

The auction is a celebration of a 40-year career that saw Van Halen sell nearly 100 million albums worldwide, making them one of the best-selling groups in the history of music. Alex Van Halen's place in the pantheon of rock 'n' roll drummers is legendary. The incredible body of work that he created alongside his brother Eddie is memorialized in Van Halen's historic catalog of genre-defining music.

"I kept all these drums, cymbals, heads, and all other kinds of gear, instruments, and road cases in my warehouse for decades and it will bring me great pleasure to see them end up in the hands of my fans and fellow drummers," says Alex. "A portion of the proceeds will go to the Ride On Therapeutic Horsemanship charity to further support the services they provide to those in need."

Alex and his wife have been longtime supporters of Ride On Therapeutic Horsemanship. The organization's mission is to promote the welfare of at-risk youth and people with any type of physical, intellectual or cognitive disability by means of equine-assisted activities and therapies, and by providing instruction and education for all in equestrian-related social, vocational and recreational activities.

The auction will open up for bidding on June 1 and close on June 9.

[honeybeecomebuzzingme]

My dad is really stressing me out.

I'm self-harmed and I've hit my head.

Again again and again.

Every time I take a step in the right direction and I feel like I'm starting to get better he grabs me and reacts overly aggressive and it ruins everything.

There's so much trauma from my childhood that I feel like I'll never be able to get past and I won't be able to have a healthy relationship or have children or family of my own.

I love all my friends so much and I'm so glad that they're there for me.

I wish that this could stop.

I've tried the coping mechanisms that work for me but my dad says they're wrong. My dad reacted like I was going to get a 5150 for listening to Taylor swift.

It's so insane and I don't know what to do.

The other night a drunk lady knocked on the door and asked if I was okay because she'd heard me and my dad shouting.

In that moment I just told her yeah he grabbed me and because of his age it's hard to tell whether he's grabbing me because of dementia or because he's always this aggressive and he thinks it's normal. Men are supposed to be like this and women are supposed to take it.

And it's abusive if this behavior is rejected and in a relationship this is how it's supposed to be.

All of these things that it's supposed to be because of different labels that were designed and defined by older generations long gone by that are not in existence anymore.

I've tried to explain to my dad that I am non-binary and gay or rather a queer.

He started immediately ripping apart my artwork and saying that my writing and drawings are rubbish.

Yet, in the past he kept a drawing by one of my childhood friends because he thought it was mine. I was really confused as it said her name on it and it was her handwriting and art style. And the framed things, that my friend drew in an art club, which has their signature on the bottom of the frames, and my dad knows this person, yet he thought that was a self portrait and my artwork.

If a picture belongs to me then it's my picture but it doesn't mean that it's me that drew it or painted it. If I'm leaving him my writing and lectures around or trying to show my dad my artwork that's me trying to express myself.

He thinks so negatively about all of my coping mechanisms and all the things I'm trying to do to help cope with my mental health and manage my emotions.

He says that my qualifications are just qualifications and when I have two or three jobs he says I'm unemployed.

If I exhaust myself doing things for him and need to sleep in he says I'm lazy.

I try so so hard to be a good person and I snap because I have a lot of trauma and I just want to be left alone to manage my symptoms and anxiety because I can.

My friends say that I can. My friends believe I'm capable. My friends praise my writing and my artwork and they say that I will be able to learn to drive and if I don't they know that I can get help with a bus pass for my ADHD. My friends help me walk through and process things.

My friends help break down information so I can understand it even though I've got dyslexia. Friends talk to me about the order of the Star wars films and about the controversy of Rowling and Harry Potter.

Friends understand that I'm a good cook and I enjoy baking. My bestie suggested buying an air fryer for ways to make things easier and tasty. I try lots of things.

I'm fully capable of recycling and sorting the recycling into different colored bins is straightforward. I was able to do it at my friends' houses and I'm able to do it when I live alone. However, for some reason my dad thinks that I'm psychic for when it is and I can't do it. All I ever asked is to be reminded of what day is bin day.

The whole argument tonight started because I wanted to ask him when bin day was casually while I was doing the dishes and then I was going to ask if he wanted to dry the dishes as I thought that's something he wanted me to do.

All of his complaining I thought that he wanted me to encourage him to do things too. You always complain when I do the dishes and put them away but then I complain when he wakes me up drying the dishes and everything. But if I do the dishes he doesn't put them away unless there's a point where he can't seemingly wake me up doing it - it feels really bizarre.

I tried to encourage him to do the laundry over the weekend but then he thought that meant I couldn't do my laundry and didn't know how to put away towels.

So I tried to say to him that I would put away the towels when I got back from Tesco. But he misunderstood me to think I was asking him the opening times of Tesco and then decided to come storming into my room when I was trying to calm down from the earlier misunderstanding. And he does that throughout the night.

Constantly feel on edge and like I can't relax. A long time ago my bestie told me to give my dad slack but the second I do that and try to relax my dad will freak out...

I know I'm not really making much sense or putting things into order right now.

I do really need to sleep.

Exhausted.

Heres Swifty cos of what my dad said.

Call the police because I want to listen to Taylor Swift as a way to calm down and focus? Would they not say that's like a prank call? Lol 🤣 I'm hungry now!

Also the living tombstone because I have another rant about my dad brewing 😭🤯

[festeringfae]

yellowjackets lb

these bitches are playing ENYA

he pawed the ring...

reaction to Lottie is such a mood

SAME NATALIE

the fucking HUG.

i love ("love") the incremental forgetting that shauna is a shitty liar

why is this succession coded

THE TRUE HORROR IS 5150 AND THE PUNITIVE "JUSTICE" SYSTEM

"we all got over it" says the woman who had fully bought into the purple cult less than an episode ago bc she realized/"realized" they brought it back.

increasingly concerned the show is a bigger mess than them

GOD. WHY WOULD THEY NOT SHOW US LOTTIE HAVINF TO LISTEN TO TRAVIS' SCREAMS RATHER THAN SHOWING US?!??

the pacing by which lottie is processing this is SO WEIRD

like shes horrified but shes NOT CONFUSED?!?! all she said was if i die eat me!!! no wonder she's terrified she's ironically the only one besides travis the only one who hasnt COMPLETELY LOST HER MIND!

mistyWHAT ARE YOU DOING. misty are u filling the ecological niche of televangelist? Misty.

oh SHAUNA.

misty let travis fucking pick when to say "shauna." shauna got jackie for 2 fucking months!

BABY. honestly no offense to sophie t but travis is the one who should be getting the emmy nom. his soft little "sorry" like I BELIEVE THIS IS HAPPENING TO HIM!

[handwashonlyco]

Check out this listing I just added to my Poshmark closet: Vintage 1986 Van Halen 5150 Tour T-shirt Size L.

[the-firebird69]

Trump had his granddaughter trying to mess with my credit card yesterday at Publix and he's the one pointing his finger and thumb at me and the shape of a weapon at the intersection and had me drop my t-shirts including the hard knock kicker 5150 shirt and he's a loser and BG is going to shoot him no his son and others will take the stuff

Zues Hera

This is all true including the last part about his traitors son and his pig and everyone thought in Warhammer it was him and then he finally would succeed so I started beating him up cuz they hate him it's a piece of crap never does what he says never shows up on time never does the work right always lose a trail of stupid crap and bothers everybody tries taking stuff while he's there no matter how small and stupid the job and Ron had to stop him the whole time no do not go inside we will be arrested for being watched he did it several times and Ron had to go in after and you came by said you're both in there what are you doing so we had to get out of the heat is it okay didn't say anything no what you say it is one at a time but you got really mad cuz you don't know about it so you haven't talked with Ron and you talk to Mike separately so we can't go into people's houses they will call the cops and we won't have anything to do and he's going to usually and you said they're watching me all the time constantly I'm on everyone's monitor list and he says oh so you checked it and said okay he's like he's a liability so you started saying it at work and people are following him after work saying what are you saying that for cuz I'm threatening you because I'm threatening him I said no where monitoring you and you're saying that to try and get to us and here we are he knows that's good news tries to go inside several of them were blocking him and they said you know how many people are here right now and they're like five people and he said there's four or five of you at least and they said yeah and all that stuff that you're doing he says he's mad about her and then stopped him and said we know that is it's not her he finally said what am I supposed to be doing and he said you don't know the job and what are you in it for I said myself and they said we're here to give you a beating if you don't listen to it we're going to give you a real one so is training that's really stupid or or most likely people are forcing it he goes what about people monitoring so our son says back then if you go inside and see you and use it against you so he got it slowed down and said okay they're not monitoring you start bothering her son that was son and it was him comes over shows you and you say I'm not sticking my neck out so you can do something dumber if you don't have a system at all you might as well leave and you got that too then you said usually everybody works around me that leaves me out of it if you include me you're going to fall and then he says when he saw him the last time he said only the Strong Will survive and our sunset what makes you so strong he said I didn't say that I said that's true and he's leaving Mike could you was slipping him the bird and our son flipped him the bird drove right up next to him in the truck no he hit a car and he said hey Mike you want to ride or are you all powerful and he started laughing and said I could use a ride but not from you right now and said oh yeah you put your foot in it and he's talking like we're on a little to me it seem like he was helping so he told him the whole story and one of those mad and he said you're an idiot and you're telling me the whole story cuz you're stupid so as it goes these two are very dumb and Trump is really stupid too and they don't know what the hell anybody is talking about with math and it's going to be hell on Earth so we're going through this right now with them soon it'll be over but right now we need to be here and I'm calling up more troops for this area

Thor Freya

Olympus

[gnaranjo]

T B honest, 5150 myself

[casasindustries]

Check out this listing I just added to my Poshmark closet: COPY - QUEEN BITCH T-Shirt # 254.

[electronicfishmakerland-blog]

Watch "Corey Holcomb VIOLATES Kanye West after Drink Champs interview" on YouTube

[the-firebird69]

Short leg female rider😅🤣😂#motorcycle #viral #motovlog #bikeshort #trendi...

That my people have to see it over and over and over even my own clan for Christ's sake can you see what it is you have to lower the damn thing it takes the shots and you lower the shocks you adjust them down it's pretty much all you have to do is a couple other things that are fun but that works different tires and rooms sometimes you have to play with the size of the sprockets and have to match I have to be a pair. Now I want to get going on this I want people to start doing it I hardly see it happening at all and you look like idiots out there and you don't want to it it costs it's an experiment what do you get pulled over because you're too short to be driving okay it's a hassle they always try and grab you

Crissy

We have numbers on this and it says that she's right only about 3% of hers are doing it and she's telling them directly and they won't do it they said it's too obvious and our son and daughter say no it's not it looks like a different kind of bike and even cops have hard time seeing what it is from a short distance away cuz you look proportional they did try itwe heard about it and we're still at 3% and I bet it was recent. And that was Hera and she's right they tried it other groups are going to have to try it but it really he saw one at the store and he said wow this is cool the front end is lower and the rear is still up there but the way the bike is configured it has a seat that comes down lower and it's nice and low and our son can sit on it and it's like a 750 or something it was a fast way of course you can't get that one but really he can't even do it himself his legs are not long enough it's terrible this is a terrible place but just lower it and you can see and float around with it and you can raise it up if you want to it's really easy

Thor Freya

We used to say them to do stuff because you want to fight and you notice that we look short and it stops as you can't help him stop lights but when it's lowered it's still just put one foot down but if you have to you can put both and I noticed that I'm doing that and it works real well

Crissy

I am so sick of this is turning into I'm going to tell people to do it this is ridiculous he's been saying it to you people don't do a damn thing this idiots sending me orders and s*** and using code and stuff and I don't help that much I mean I should not be in that position and it's true he keeps doing that stupid s*** and we have to do take our responsibility on

Bg

It is very stupid they were handing the whole thing and we still are and it's gross I'm trying to lowering these bikes and it works and people can't tell that well and he's right when you're right off on him and it looks normal and now you don't your legs are awful when you stop and it's terrible look at this girl is doing it's hilarious to him but she has to or she'll fall over now you can't ride like that either it's very dangerous

Trump

Olympus

I also mentioned that the hard knock kicker 5150 you can make it a little bit more mellow because an hk2 or an hk1 is more compact it's not as long and it was beating these sport bikes in a race and had crappy tires you put better tires on it the match and you put a 250 in or 350 and you can do a top end kit to a 250 and you take it off and put in the piston and everything and it's like $60 and you're going to go fast enough and it's light these bikes are heavy you need to find a motor yeah okay you can't find a motor okay that's stupid you can order a Chinese motors till the cows come home at 3:50 is not too hard to find if you can't you get the 250 you get the kit just there and these are easier to ride these bikes even if you lower it they way too much and your bodies are just not built that way you're going to tire out and it takes too long and you can't lift the thing up and then you can lift one of these bikes up

Zues

It's heartbreaking that they don't do it then it's going to take too long

Hera

We're getting to it now morlock

[pahabu]

i’m not ok Unisex Oversize T-Shirt 🔎 SKU : 5150 🌍 Fast Shipping Worldwide #t-shirt #t-shirt #tshirt #fashion #shirt #style #tshirtdesign #tee #tshirts #gift #apparel #clothing #streetwear #instagood #design #hat #love #model #art #mug #phonecase #poster #canvas #tamtee #photooftheday #legging #tam #bag #flag #pillow #hoodie https://www.instagram.com/p/Cf1BgbKLELM/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

[casasindustries]

Check out this listing I just added to my Poshmark closet: BITCH INSIDE # 261.

[fuckyeahvanhalen86-95]