#THANKS NIV SOBBING

[meongppangz]

everybody loves yang jeongin ↳ jeongsung edition

[sharpnothashtag]

The Good Ship CrushWay, Chapter 63

Right where we left off.

Bev: (taking Joy aside) I have a few questions. Joy: Of course. Bev: How did Faith die? Do you know? Joy: Kaanor hosts are very sensitive to sound. It is part of the reason they do not travel off-world--loud sounds can be fatal. Bev: So when the alarm went off, Joy: They were in terrible pain. The instinct, even though loud sounds are fatal, is still to scream. Bev: Is it like a self-destruct button? Joy: Not quite. Sound sensitivity is a genetic trait, but screaming is innate. It is the same desire that all creatures have--when there is trouble we cannot handle on our own, we alert others so that help is able to come. Bev: It's like a feedback loop--trouble comes, they scream. Help doesn't come, so they scream louder, which creates more trouble, so they scream even more. Joy: I have only heard of these tales. To have someone see their family perish because of this? The only thing that can heal him is the passage of time. Bev: Would it not be better for him to forget? Joy: The memories of happiness are stronger than the pain of tragedy and the sting of death. The more time that passes, the stronger the memories become.

Joy leaves as Worf and DeAnna enter. Joy inhales deeply and bows.

Joy: It is an honor to be in the presence of so great a warrior. Worf: (bowing) The honor is mine. To end the one who ended my father is still my life's work. Joy: May you achieve all you seek.

Before Joy can exit, DeAnna hands them Little Guy's leash. Joy holds her hand tightly, and a light illuminates her hand for a moment. DeAnna kisses Joy's hand, and Joy exits. DeAnna, with tears in her eyes, looks to Bev.

Bev: He's exhausted. DeAnna: I don't care. KJ: (coming from behind a divider) You're exhausted, too, DeAnna. Worf: Captain. How is Commander Riker? KJ: (defensively) As my wife just said, he's exhausted. DeAnna: (sobbing) I have to see him. (She runs past them to where Riker is. KJ runs after her.) KJ: He is NOT ready for visitors! Bev: Keep an eye on them, will you? (Worf nods and follows her.) Worf: Captain, please let her be with Commander Riker. They are connected. KJ: Beverly said he's exhausted and DeAnna immediately blew past her! Bev: Let her be, Kathryn. (angrily, once KJ comes to Bev) Kathryn O'Dell Janeway, you will not talk to DeAnna or Worf in that manner. KJ: (confused) I was defending you. Bev: (angrily) I do not need defending, especially not from my best friends. KJ: Bev- Bev: Dismissed. (She walks away with tears in her eyes.)

KJ watches her walk away, befuddled. She follows everyone else back to Riker's side. Picard is still sitting on the bed with Riker in his lap. He wipes Riker's tears. DeAnna is holding Riker's hand, clearly communicating with him telepathically. Picard stands, allowing Bev to scan him and give him a hypospray. Worf removes Riker's shoes and socks and puts them on another biobed. He waves the fumes into the air.

Worf: nI'be'puq, muSHa'ghachlIj tlhaQ nIv puS. 'ej qIbmaj luSovmoHtaHvIS, lalDan tuq. (close to his face) bangwI' DaSovpu'bej. (Translation: While your family is in Sto-vo-kor, may the smell of you comfort them. May they know how they are grieved. May they know how you loved them.)

DeAnna: (telepathically) Imzadi. I'm here. Riker: (telepathically) Faith? DeAnna: (telepathically) No, Imzadi. I wish I could have met her. Riker: (telepathically) Faith. She's gone. DeAnna: (telepathically) It's me, Imzadi. Faith may be gone, but I'm here. (Riker's hand squeezes DeAnna's hand--part of him knows she's there. The hypospray takes effect, and Riker finally closes his eyes. Bev pulls up a chair and sits with him, stroking his hair as he sleeps. Picard sits cross-legged with Riker's head in his lap, just staring.)

KJ: (coming onto the bridge, prickly) Data, you're relieved. Data: Thank you, Captain. How is Commander Riker? KJ: (matter of factly) He is sleeping. Data: May I go to see him? KJ: (more prickly) You may join the rest of the crew at his bedside. Data: Is something wrong, Kathryn? KJ: (snapping) Of course not. Data: (He can read her just enough to know that he shouldn't ask again.) Have a good evening, Captain.

KJ sits alone on the bridge. She's clearly upset.

Back in Sick Bay, Wesley and Data have joined the bedside crew.

Data: Please let us know if there is anything you need for us to do, Doctor. Wesley: Or if you need us to get out of your way. Bev: I couldn't kick you out if I wanted to. Worf: I still can't believe Starfleet let us think he was dead all this time. DeAnna: I should have known. He is my Imzadi--we are connected at the soul. Bev: There are plenty of people who live on without their soulmates, DeAnna. DeAnna: Maybe those who are fully human. Bev: Hey. If you had gone through the same thing, he'd be right where you are. Worf: He is one of my closest friends. Starfleet's behavior is without honor. Picard: I will raise hell at Starfleet Command when we return. Wesley: He looked out for me while you (Bev) were gone at Starfleet Medical for a year. He made sure I was safe so many times that I lost count. He's the closest thing I've had to a father since Dad died. The fact that he's here again--I'm still in the state where I am happy. I can't be mad at Starfleet yet. He's--here again.

(They sit in silence for a while. Data eventually stands, walks over to a panel, and taps a few keys. Liszt's "Un Sospiro" plays. Patrick enters, hears the song, and is transported away, back to his original reality.)

(Riker and Patrick are in bed with one of those ridiculous shiny blankets. Patrick is absolutely knocked out. Riker is tossing and turning. Patrick stirs.)

Patrick: Will? What's wrong? Riker: I can't sleep. Patrick: My aunt Adele's reci- Riker: I know. I already tried it. Patrick: (sitting up, concerned) Aunt Adele's recipe works every time. Something's going on. Riker: Jean-Luc, I have a decision to make. Patrick: Between me and DeAnna? Riker: Yes. You've helped me so much. I'm a strong, bisexual, polyamorous man who knows his own power. Patrick: But? Riker: But nothing. Being with you has been like nothing I've ever felt before. Patrick: But? Riker: You're absolutely the most wonderful man I know. Patrick: But? Riker: (sadly) DeAnna. Patrick: DeAnna is a very special woman, Will. Riker: I feel like I'm choosing a side. Patrick: You're choosing a person. Riker: If I'm attracted to her, I'm straight. If I'm attracted to you, I'm gay. If I'm attracted to you both, I'm bisexual. Patrick: There are other terms you can use if they make you feel more comfortable, but bisexual is accurate. Riker: If I choose her, then I give up being bisexual. And our relationship becomes invalid. Patrick: Will. Calm down. Your sexuality is not attached to your partner. What we had was...is special. It's not invalid, no matter what you choose to do or who you choose to love. Riker: How can I retain my queerness without cheating on DeAnna? Patrick: (chuckling) Trust me, Will. You are more than gay enough to retain your queerness. Plus, (more seriously) DeAnna may not be polyamorous, but I'm sure that if you talked to her about it, she might be open to something. Riker: I don't want her to feel like she's not enough for me. Patrick: She is more than enough, and she knows that. Riker: And you. I can't imagine losing you. Patrick: William Thomas Riker. You know quite well that I am never far from you. Riker: I don't want to sound like a child, bu-- Patrick: I promise you. I will never be further than a breath away when you need me.

(They hug. Patrick comes back to this reality, quietly crying. He enters the room, and everyone sees him. They silently back away as Patrick takes the hand DeAnna was holding.)

Patrick: Voir? Je t'ai promis. Je n'en suis qu'à un souffle. (Translation: See? I promised you. I am only a breath away. The Liszt continues to play quietly.)

(Daneel enters the bridge.)

Daneel: Captain, I've come to relieve you. KJ: Understood. (a beat) Daneel, may I ask you a question? Daneel: Of course. KJ: Does Data understand your relationship with Wesley? Daneel: What do you mean? KJ: You and Wesley are...soulmates. Right? Daneel: Sort of. KJ: Is there a better, more accurate term? Daneel: Not really. I suppose "soulmates" works. Data understands that Wesley is very important to me, and I don't think he would ever stand in my way or make me choose between them if Wesley ever needed me. KJ: If Wesley ever questioned your abilities as a strategist, would Data defend you? Daneel: Wesley would never insult me, but I guess so. KJ: Would you be mad at Data for defending you in that situation? Daneel: No--but you're becoming awfully specific. What's the matter? KJ: Beverly snapped at me. I was just trying to back her up. DeAnna just couldn't-- Daneel: Wait, you went against DeAnna? KJ: And Worf, for the record. (Daneel looks at her, mouth agape.) ...what's wrong with that? Daneel: Partners do not get to contradict best friends. KJ: What do you mean? She's my wife! Daneel: That's not the point. Beverly and DeAnna (from what Wesley tells me) have been through hell and back. Worf, too! Beverly has brought him back from the dead--you do realize that, right? KJ: That doesn't matter--no one in my life that comes before my wife. Daneel: That may be true for you. You don't strike me as the "best friend" type of person. KJ: What does that mean? Daneel: Do you have a best friend? KJ: Yes--I married her. Daneel: Other than her. KJ: Okay. She was standing right next to me when I got married. Daneel: What's your history with her? KJ: We've known each other all our lives. Once we were old enough, we dated. She broke up with me to focus on herself when she transitioned, and then we dated again. We both decided it was best that we break up when I went to the Academy, but we've been there for each other through everything. She came when I graduated from the Academy, when I was made a Lieutenant, a Commander, and a Captain. She...knows every part of me, and I know every part of her. Daneel: So, what if she had asked you to stay when you were made aware of Commander Riker's situation? KJ: I would have considered it, even though it wasn't what needed to be done. Daneel: What if, before you even got to think about it, Beverly told Lady Fierbolg that she was being selfish? KJ: (dawning on her) I would have defended Fierbolg, too. I have to apologize. (KJ enters the turbolift and heads for Sick Bay)

Sick Bay. DeAnna has passed out from exhaustion, so Worf is putting her on another biobed. KJ enters. She and Bev lock eyes and meet in Bev's office.

KJ: (simultaneously) I'm sorry for the way I acted earlier. Bev: (simultaneously) I'm sorry I snapped at you. (a beat while they observe that that was cute) DeAnna and I have been through hell and back. I brought Worf back from the dead. I am Alexander's godmother. I love you, but KJ: She's your best friend, and I had no right to call her out like that. Bev: (shocked, but beginning to smile) Thank you for understanding. KJ: Daneel helped me put some things in perspective. (a beat) When we return to Earth, do you want to tell me about you and DeAnna and Worf? Bev: When the time is right, I'll tell you. That can most certainly be during our extended honeymoon when we get back to Earth. (she winks) KJ: (they share a laugh, a beat) Well, I'll let you go so you can sit with him. Bev: (holding out her hand) Why don't you come join us? (KJ takes Bev's hand and follows her in.)

Patrick, Worf, Data, Picard, and Wesley look up as KJ enters. They make room for her. KJ sits at Riker's bedside and holds his hand.

KJ: Hey, Riker. Before you left, you told me to take care of her. I asked you if you meant the Enterprise or Beverly. I've really tried to take care of both. (tearily) Luckily, I had a good deal of help. (realizing what she is really saying, looking around at Worf, DeAnna, Picard, Data, Wesley, and Patrick) She is not just mine to care for.

Starfleet Command: Several admirals gather around a small table.

Admiral 1: They've found him. Admiral 2: Please tell me they found him dead or with amnesia. Admiral 3: No such luck. Admiral 2: At least tell me it was only Janeway. Admiral 3: You think you'd get Janeway without Crusher? And where one Crusher goes, another follows. Where Beverly goes, DeAnna will follow, and Worf will come with her. Where the other Crusher goes, Daneel Akares and Data also go. Admiral 1: And since nearly the entire Enterprise D crew is together, they can't go anywhere without their Captain. Admiral 2: And they're going to raise hell until they get answers. So, what are we going to tell them?

[revdrjamesjshowersjr]

gratitude and praises

Almighty Creator, thank you for your mighty workings. I would be a ungrateful SOB, if I didn't give praise and honor to the Almighty for working through Capital One and the entirety of their organization. Almighty Creator, bless their fraud units, and protect my heart, soul, and mind from corruption and or greed. St. Charles Borromeo, St. Jude, the Angels and ArchAngels. Bless them abundantly.

So Help Me God..Amen, Ameen, Amun, Amn, Aum..

'https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Deuteronomy%2028%3A13&version=NIV'..

Amen, Ameen, Amun, Amin, Aum..

[jdgo51]

DAILY DEVOTIONAL FOR MARCH 20, 2023

God Gave Me Strength

By Pilar González (Coquimbo, Chile)

READ PSALM 28:6-9

"The Lord is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in him, and he helps me."

PSALM 28:7 (NIV)

"'I was in my final year of university and about to present my thesis. I did not have a family member present because my grandfather, whom I had lived with for four years, was in poor health and several of my family members were caring for him.

While I was waiting among my schoolmates and their family members, my sister called and told me that our grandfather had died. I began to sob. Grief and worry for my family flooded my mind, and I was so overwhelmed that I collapsed and was taken to the infirmary.

My father called to tell me that if I chose not to present my thesis, he would support my decision. However, this would mean that the past academic year would have been wasted. The words of Philippians 4:13 came to me: “I can do all this through him who gives me strength.�� I centered my thoughts and asked God to help me. I was filled with a peace that I can’t explain, and I decided to present my thesis.

Throughout this experience, I felt a deep connection to God, who provided the strength I needed. My friends, family, and professors were astonished. I could only say, “God gave me the strength.”' Sometimes in life you have a project or life changing event that comes up, and in that time a personal family issue may arise as well. It's hard to decide if you go with project or family issue. I think you just weigh it all and do what God leads you to do. These choices are never easy, but God gets you through them.

TODAY'S PRAYER

"Eternal God, thank you for your abiding presence and for your word that reminds us to take heart and rely on you. Help us to seek you at all times and in all situations. In the name of Jesus." Amen.

Psalm 28:6-9

New International Version

"6 Praise be to the Lord, for he has heard my cry for mercy. 7 The Lord is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in him, and he helps me. My heart leaps for joy, and with my song I praise him.

8 The Lord is the strength of his people, a fortress of salvation for his anointed one. 9 Save your people and bless your inheritance;"

God hears you and gives you as much strength as you need. We place our trust in the fact that He will help be their shepherd and carry them forever. I our actions the people of our inheritance will find blessing, too. I need a blessing; take one from God today. Joe

[kyopmi]

MIZZZUUU MIZZUUU omg. how did i not see the four seasons collab sooner?!?!?! i love this theme. SO SO MUCH. its literally one of my favs ! !

can you please put me down as genshin impact + haikyuu, winter + summer, with diluc + kita? thank youuuu sweet & i'll be posting on this blog ofc :>>

(i see u also put down kita for winter and im lowkey super duper excited to read that as well (ꈍᴗꈍ)♡ i missed ur kita content so much sobs)

HMNMNDFN NIV ! tysm !!! (❤´艸｀❤)

AND YEZ OF COURSE !! SO EXCITED TO READ MORE OF UR WRITINGS~

but same ! i can't wait to see summery kita content from u <3

[simplymiles]

So . . . kanina after lunch, I was playing my ukelele and decided to jam out some of my favorite gospel music. Wala naman intention for anything, I just wanted to practice and jam out. So pili lang ako ng kahit ano sa chords list ko tapos tumugtog na. I was singing “To Worship You I Live” by Israel Houghton. Paulit-ulit lang yung song . . . pinili ko lang just to warm up. Pero, di ko namamalayan tumutulo na pala yung luha ko . . . without any intention na mag-worship talaga, gusto ko lang mag-jam, pero naramdaman ko yung Holy Spirit today. Ang bigat and He was speaking to me, comforting me. This past week kasi, mejo mabigat yung sitwasyon namin ng dad ko dito sa mindoro. As per usual kami lang yung nagsasaluhan. I’m trying to be strong for him and letting him know that I support him in everything he does . . . he’s going through a lot lately and nararamdaman ko yung bigat ng kalooban niya. Last Thursday, a possession of his with great sentimental value was taken . . . just because of some stupid papers saying that it belonged to someone else. I felt his spirit crashed. He wasn’t talking much and he was trying to smile and shrug it all off in front of me pero ramdam ko yung pain and yung pagiging devastated niya sa nangyari. I kept checking up on him. Tapos around 1 in the morning, I went inside his room to use the bathroom, and also just to check up on him . . . ayun, gising na gising pa siya. Wide awake, lights are all turned on and he was reading . . . so after ko mag-cr sabi ko sa kanya .. “Matulog ka na daddy, wag ka na masyado magisip at baka tumaas pa bp mo!” Then went to my room. He called right after, tapos nagusap kami. Nag-oopen lang talaga siya ng nararamdaman niya, I felt pain in every word he’s saying. Di ko na idi-detail yung pinag-usapan namin, basta ang summary lang nun is that he’d just let go of it and we won’t worry about it anymore and let the other people worry and talk about this legality stuff. Sabi niya wala naman daw siya magagawa . . . so basically he’s telling me that he’s at peace with it and we just had to let it go para hindi na kami ma-bother. Ang sabi niya, mahihirapan lang tayo, napaka-incovenient para sa atin. I assured him na walang problema sa akin. Sabi ko I’ve been through harder times. Kayang-kaya ko naman, wag niya ako alalahanin. Pero, syempre, bilang ama, hindi mo maiaalis sa kanya na mag-alala sa anak at sa mga apo niya, because that’s how he is, he is a good dad. He is a good granddad. He wants to provide us with everything and hindi siya mapakali kapag hindi niya maibigay yung kailangan namin. Kung yung sa ibang tao nga, he would move the mountains and valleys to help them, paano pa kaya kaming mga anak at apo niya? He’s such a great person, and it’s so hard for me to see him like this. I admire him so much because he is so quick to forgive, kahit na yung mga tao na nakakasakit sa kanya, kahit kelan hindi niya siniraan sa akin. Kahit na pwedeng-pwede niya naman gawin kasi ako lang naman nakikinig, pero he’s not like that. He’s a man who speaks life and blessings to others! Wala na akong hihingin pa sa pagiging dad and mentor niya. 

So kanina, it was a special moment between me and the Holy Spirit, dahil sobrang bigat nga ng nararamdaman ko . . . naiyak na lang ako. Through out the whole song umiiyak na ako and I ended up just worshiping God. I wasn’t uttering a single word, I was just playing my ukelele and I was crying but I know and I feel the Spirit was moving. Then I remembered this verse:

“In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans. And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for God’s people in accordance with the will of God.” - Romans 8:26-27 (NIV)

It was an indescribable moment. Mabigat yung pakiramdam ko, pero patuloy ko lang nare-release yung nararamdaman ko without uttering a word. Hindi ko kinailangan magsalita, hindi ko kailangan sabihin yung nararamdaman ko out loud . . . God knows, the Holy Spirit knows and I just had to LISTEN. It was like the Holy Spirit was comforting me, and assuring me that everything is going to be alright, that brighter days are ahead, that there is a blessing in and after the storm. Parang ang sinasabi Niya is, ilang beses mo na napatunayan na God is in control over everything. Again and again, you have overcome, ngayon ka pa ba magda-doubt? And I just kept playing and worshiping and then after a while, I stopped and there was complete silence. All I can hear was the fan and myself sobbing, and I just felt it. Hindi ko maipaliwanag, pero through that silence, I heard it. It was loud and clear! I heard it, God is in control. God is in control. GOD IS IN CONTROL. Paulit-ulit! I felt the assurance that everything is going to be just fine. That I just had to continue and keep fighting and keep trusting God through everything that’s happening. After that silence, I felt peace. 

I found peace that passes all understanding. Thank You, Abba. 

I know You got us. 

[venibethstokes]

Crash

Venibeth straightened abruptly, her eyes going wide at the crash from the shop. She turned to the twins, “Stay here. Don’t you dare move.” she warned.

Aiden and Emma nodded gravely, “Okay mommy.” they replied in unison.

The mage gave them a dubious look then darted through the curtained door that separated the shop from the living quarters just as another crash resounded through the building.

The broom she’d enchanted and had left sweeping when she’d taken the children in for lunch lay on the floor, the end of the handle protruding through a broken pane of glass while a dress dummy leaned brokenly against the wall. A small table that had held a vase of flowers was turned on its side, the blossoms scattered amidst shards of glass and puddled water.

She scanned the shop, her eyes settling on a large brindled cat that stood at the door, yowling to be let out, looking for all the world as it was the one who had been wronged. 

She moved toward the feline, faster than it liked and it shrieked, lunging past her and knocking her off balance. She stumbled backward and fell against the dress dummy that remained standing. It tumbled over with her, shattering another pane of glass and burying her underneath the folds of a velvet ball gown.

Struggling with the heavy fabric, Veni didn’t hear the bell on the door ring. She had no idea there was anyone around until a hand reached out and grabbed hers, pulling her up as the mannequin was lifted away.

“Are you alright?” the voice was deep, with a timbre that sent a warm shiver down Veni’s back. She looked up into a pair of startlingly pale green eyes that reminded her of sea foam. The man’s hair was dark auburn, a lock of falling across a brow furrowed with concern.

Veni nodded dumbly then jerked her hand away as if scalded, “Yeah. Fine. I’m fine.” she took a few steps back, tucking her own hair behind her ear before looking up at him again, “Thanks for helping me. I don’t know where that cat came from or how he got in.”

“That would be Grover I suspect. He’s the town cat and he can be a real pain in the a... “ the man paused and ducked his head, smiling sheepishly, “Well, you know.” he removed the broom from the open window pane, and placed it, with the two mannequins, against the counter, then stooped to pick up the shards of glass, “I know you just got the shop open,” he said as he worked, “I can fix the windows for you if you’d like. Looks like that’s the worst damage.”

“Please stop.” Veni pleaded, giving a lopsided smile when he looked up at her, “You’re putting my broom out of work.” she said as she waved a hand toward said tool. The broom teetered a bit against the counter then moved, returning to its previous task of sweeping, this time concentrating on the broken glass.

The man watched the broom for a minute, chuckling softly, “Well that’s handy. I’ve seen those in the shops in Stormwind, and in the mage tower of course. Don’t think I’ve seen one out here though.”

The two of them stood in silence for a moment, a silence that was quickly broken by another loud crash coming from the other side of the curtain. “Bloody hell.” Veni swore as she rushed through the doorway, the man close on her heels.

Aiden crouched next to his sister who lay on the floor, his lip was trembling as he fought back the urge to join her as she sobbed, rubbing a growing knot on her head. At his mother’s look the boy stammered, “We wa...wanted to see. I got down and… and..Emmy… she fell.”

Veni knelt beside her daughter, scooping her up in her arms as she surveyed the damage. She kissed the girl’s head and smiled, “It’s just a little bump sweetie. It’ll be a bruise but I think you’ll be okay. To be sure we’ll go see Aunty Niv okay?” Emma sniffled and nodded, against Veni’s neck, he tears already drying on her cheeks.

It took Veni a moment to realize that Aiden had stopped crying as well. She turned to look at her son, her alarm growing as she remembered the broken panes of glass in the shop. The man sat lotus style nearby, Aiden balanced on one knee as the two talked, for all the world as if they’d been friends forever.

“Looks like you’re going for a visit little man.” he said as he stood, setting the boy firmly on his feet at his mother’s side. He turned his gaze to Veni, “Don’t worry, I’ll get the window secured while you get them ready. Just a couple of boards for now, until I can get the glass. The shop’ll be safe as houses in a jiffy.”

Veni stood looking at the man, Emma’s arms still wrapped around her neck while Aiden held her hand, while three sets of hazel eyes stared with varied emotions, “Thanks. Oh… I’m Veni. Venibeth Stokes and these are my kids.”

The man nodded and smiled, “Yeah. I know. You’re pretty big news around here. My name’s Ezra Harper. It’s a pleasure to meet you.”

[joyandmeliawrites-blog]

The Bible Class and Ninja Turtles

My heart dropped to the bottom of my soles as I dropped Elijah off at my woman bible study’s child care. The neon lights at the ceiling pierced through my eyes, giving us a cold vibe…while all we need was warmth. The loud laughter of the other kids eager to learn only maximized my son’s struggle. The whole scene gave us a sinking feeling that everyone was doing alright but us. He was sobbing, tears welled up in his eyes. “But when are you going to pick me up? I am really scared” his words faint and jittery. I kneeled down, cupping his face in my hands. “Elijah, look at me. I will always go back to get you. You see that clock on the wall? When the short hand reach 11, that’s when I will be done with my class and I will pick you up. You are here with great teachers. I will be right back” With that, I gave him a quick kiss, hugged him tight, and gave the volunteer teacher one last empathetic look before I walked out the door. “Good luck!” I sent a signal through my eyes. She really needed that, I thought. She obviously looked nervous the minute Elijah walked in her classroom. “It’s THAT kid again”, she must have thought.

2 hours have passed. 2 hours of MY time, MY study, MY need. We were learning about David’s last days, how passionate he was to his God up until his last breath, despite his sin and never-ending struggles. I NEEDED this study, I thought to myself, trying to justify the fact that Elijah might be crying his eyes out in the other room right this second. I felt selfish, uneasy, but I still tried to focus. It has been my long-term DREAM to share the gospel effectively and I needed to be equipped. Back in 2003, God gave me this clear vision of a huge crowd, a stage, people in darkness, HIS WORDS, and the words apparently coming right out from my mouth. I didn’t believe in that vision for the longest time (uhm, hello low self-esteem), until one day pastor gave me a chance to speak in our church revival service back in 2011. I think that day I might have found my life calling. I was scared as hell, but once I was up there, I fell in love with the crowd, the stage, the thrill, the excitement, the healing, His words…His people. The altar calls. I wanted to support that dream by going to bible school, but there is NO WAY we can afford it right now. So a FREE woman bible study every Thursday in a local church 15 minutes from my house seems like a legit solution for now…. or so it seems.

I went out of my session feeling soo refreshed and equipped. But not for long. My heart sank again when I saw Elijah sitting on the Children Director’s lap, IN THE HALLWAY, still sobbing profusely. Did he really cry non-stop for the past 2 hours? Talking about grit! The strict children’s director started to give me all these negative reports in front of my son. The words “disobedient”, “defiant”, “disruptive to the whole class flow” were used repeatedly. My son was still crying his eyes out, I have never seen his spirit so crushed… so defeated. He looked at me as if he was saying “I’m so sorry I failed again today”. I kneeled down and said to him, “Elijah, I see you’re struggling, it’s okay. I will help you, we will try again next week”. Mrs. Jenny, the director, then said to me “I don’t know what else we’re going to do with him, Joy, we tried everything”. With a polite smile, I said to her, “Well, he seems to be struggling still, how about we keep helping him? Isn’t it all that we learn around here, Mrs. Jenny?”

With that we said thank you, and we left.

The most discouraging thing about this drama is that it has been going on in the past 4 months! The same scene happened EVERY SINGLE WEEK since December when I started the bible class; the crying, the tantrums, the melt downs. I tried everything on my end too; disciplining, encouraging, preparing, bribing, threatening (desperate measures, don’t follow my footsteps). Nothing works. Thursdays are becoming one of my most stressful day of the week! So that day, after the same incident happened again, I just chose to bring him to our favorite ice cream place. I might be tired, or sleepy, or I just didn’t have the energy to deal with it that day…so I just spent time with him, stress-eating ice cream, and he was back to his sweet loving self again. By now, I started to revisit my decision to force him to go to bible class every Thursday. Don’t get me wrong, I ABSOLUTELY LOVE LOVE LOVE the class, but I definitely need to seek wisdom from God again about this whole Elijah situation. He was probably just not ready. I might be doing a good thing by going to a bible study, but not every good thing is urgent…and not every good thing is God’s will.

That night, as I put him to sleep, I laid besides him and hugged him tight. He talked about his favorite characters of Ninja turtles and how he loved his ice cream time with me today. As I watched him falling asleep, I studied his face…his features….his tiny ears who failed to listen today. My heart was overwhelmed with love. Gosh, he is SUCH a perfect gift for me, failures and all. I wondered if this is what our Father feels towards us every time He sees us struggle and fail. As I whisper a silent prayer for him, God gently put these words in my heart.

“Joy, whatever you did for the least of these…. you also did it for me” (Matthew 25:40 NIV)

The least of these.

The struggling one.

The failing one.

The littlest one.

The weakest one.

The defiant one…as what Mrs. Jenny said.

Tears fell down my face….and suddenly my all stresses were gone, my heart at peace. God can raise anyone to become the preacher of His words. My ministry will ALWAYS be there, but Elijah only has one mother. He will be four only once….and for now, he still needs his mommy.

The least of these. The words resonated so clearly in my heart. God was asking me that night. “Will you stay home with him for a bit longer? There will come a day when he’s going to be out of the house most of the day, and you can pursue your dream as much as your heart pleases. But for now, will you stay, serve, and train him…just for a bit longer?”

The answer was clear.

So today, we stayed home. (Hey, it’s Thursday!)

Instead of learning about David’s battles strategies, we drew Ninja Turtles battling Shredder in his drawing book.

Instead of crowds in my mind, I picked up cookie crumbles for a millionth time during these 11 years of staying home with them.

I made him soup and he tried to make me coffee.

I taught him to read and write.  I lingered at these moments a bit longer this morning, without having to rush to our classes. I enjoyed how he is a leftie, and how he wrote his little i’s with HUGE dots like lollipops standing next to each other. I loved how he can’t pronounce his R’s correctly. He still says things like wainbow or ninja tewtews.  

The least of these.

My peaceful Thursdays are back.

Lastly, as I read my devotional this morning, I got my confirmation.

My fave author Lysa Terkeurst was writing about seasons. One day she was travelling and visited a friend in another town. On their drive home from the airport, she noticed that the city has been hit by an early snow in the middle of fall. What caught her attention wasn’t the 20 inches snow on the ground, but the broken trees and the branches that piled up on the streets. Because it was still fall, the leaves hadn’t dropped, and the trees couldn’t carry the extra weight. So they broke. Lysa then wrote that this is what happens when snow comes early. The trees weren’t designed to face snow before releasing their leaves. They weren’t supposed to carry more weight than they should. They weren’t made to carry two seasons at the same time.... and neither are we.

“A tree can’t embrace winter unless she lets go of fall. Like a tree, a woman can’t carry the weight of two seasons simultaneously. In the violent struggle of trying, she will miss every bit of joy each season promises to bring and in the process, she will break. So, we must release. Release brings with it a gift of peace. There are some opportunities that we need to decline today, some things we need to say no to, good things in the past that we need to let go, things in the future that just need to wait... so we can focus on the BEST THINGS that we have today! Then and only then, can our beautiful bare winter branches receive it’s snow.”

So for now, I’m going to embrace my ninja turtles and cookie crumbles season…. until my season of crowds, stage, and altar calls come in the future.

For now, I gladly welcome my peaceful Thursdays back while slowly sipping my coffee.

Joy.

[carolap53]

April 6, 2022

The Easy Way To Rest When You’re Exhausted ASHERITAH CIUCIU

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“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” Matthew 11:28 (NIV)

I eyed the bright numbers on the clock telling me I’d be lucky to get four hours of sleep that night. Hitting “send” on my paper, I stumbled into bed, murmuring, “Once I graduate, then I’ll be able to rest.”

But over the years that followed, that midnight promise morphed to match new seasons:

“Once I meet this work deadline, then I’ll be able to rest.” “Once our baby sleeps through the night, then I’ll be able to rest.” “Once the children are in school, then I’ll be able to rest.”

Those refrains pushed me out of bed every morning and kept me working late into the night, until one day I found myself at our kitchen table, head in my hands and sobbing the words “I can’t do this anymore.”

I was exhausted.

And from talking with older women, I knew they were repeating the same worn refrain, merely aged to match their own challenges:

“Once we pay off the mortgage …” “Once the kids leave for college …” “Once we retire from our jobs …”

Women of all ages and stages are chasing rest, but that coveted rest eludes us all.

In a moment of clarity, I realized that rest won’t arrive on the other side of “someday” because, no matter how much we get done, there’s always more left to do.

Wiping my tears, I cried out: “God, I need You. I can’t do this anymore.” And in His kindness, God reminded me that we’re not the first generation to struggle with such things, nor are we alone.

In fact, 2,000 years ago, Jesus looked at a crowd of women and men just as exhausted as you and me, and He said:

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light” (Matthew 11:28-30, NIV).

Jesus doesn’t tell us to wake up early and go to bed late in order to hustle our way into His Kingdom. Quite the opposite. He invites us to lay down our heavy burdens and find rest in Him.

What does that look like in real life? I developed an easy-to-remember R.E.S.T. acronym to guide me toward Jesus when I feel overwhelmed, and you can use it too:

R: Recite God’s goodness. The next time we find ourselves hustling, let’s pause to praise God for who He is and what He’s already doing (see Psalm 103:1-2). What can we thank Him for? Let’s start there.

E: Express your neediness. Then we get honest with God about our struggles and sins, casting our burdens on Him because He cares for us. (1 Peter 5:7)

S: Seek His stillness. Next, we take time to “be still, and know” that He is God (Psalm 46:10a, ESV). We quiet our hearts to listen to His still, small voice. Is there anything He wants to say to us? Are there any burdens or to-dos He’s asking us to lay down?

T: Trust His faithfulness. Finally, we declare our confidence that our good God, who began a good work in us, will be faithful to complete it. (Philippians 1:6)

We don’t have to wait for that elusive “someday” to experience God’s rest. The gentle and humble Jesus opens wide His arms, and He says, “Come.” Today, just as you are, come.

Let’s come to Jesus, lay down our heavy burdens and receive the gift only He can give us: rest for our souls in His loving presence.

Dear Jesus, how kind You are to welcome me just as I am! I’m so tired of carrying these heavy burdens by myself, so I give them to You right now. (Name them one by one.) Please show me if there’s anything I should do differently. I trust You to refresh me with Your peace and strengthen me with Your power today. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

[elspethsunschampion]

Thanks to @zomburai I commissioned this picture (which y’all you should 100% commission him for like everything he’s super talented and the nicest person EVER) and it matches up with a fic I wrote a while back SO HERE Y’ALL GO HAVE FUN.

                                             Coalition Victory

           It was over. Gideon wiped a sweaty brow, and then found himself sitting down, as his legs had decided they were no longer actually able to carry him anymore. How long had the Gatewatch been fighting? Hours, at least; it felt like days. But they’d done. They’d saved Ravnica.

           Niv-Mizzet, parun of the Izzet, drooping, bleeding from a dozen injuries, was curled up in the center of the square in front of New Prahv, while Selesnyans and Izzet alike fussed over him. There was blood on his jaws and a very satisfied smirk on his face; Gideon could hardly begrudge him that. He had been the one to deal the final blow, after all.

           Gideon’s head was aching, foggy with exhaustion, but he needed to check on the rest of the Gatewatch. He was their leader, and in the last few confused minutes, he’d lost track of everyone. As Nicol Bolas had risen, magic crackling from every pore, above the cityscape, as Gideon had thought for certain that even with nearly all of Ravnica working together, they were doomed—something had happened, Gideon still wasn’t sure what. He’d felt something like a static shock in his brain, heard an exclamation from Jace, and the mental connection between the Gatewatch had snapped. Moments later, Niv-Mizzet had burst from the roof of Nivix, barreling directly toward Bolas, and the machine Bolas had Tezzeret and Zarek working on had overloaded.

           It was the first time Gideon had seen Bolas shaken, and he had used that confusion to full effect, rallying the Boros and Azorius soldiers around him into one final charge against Bolas’s forces, breaking through their central line. Above them, the two dragons had fought, and, somehow, impossibly, Niv-Mizzet had won. Niv-Mizzet had won.

           After their loss on Amonkhet, Gideon had despaired. Bolas was so far beyond them in terms of power and intelligence—how could ever have thought they’d be able to stand up against him? But with Ravnica in danger, he’d had to fight. He knew that Jace would die to protect his plane, and Gideon wouldn’t let his friend die alone. And now—

           “Mage Jura, are you injured?” It was Lavinia, calm and collected as ever, although her cap was ripped and the side of her face matted with congealing blood.

           Gideon shook his head. “No, merely exhausted.” Staggering back to his feet took an effort. “Are—are you—”

           “It will keep,” Lavinia said. “There are others with worse wounds. I am attempting to organize triage.”

           She was always at their side, Gideon thought distractedly, the most loyal friend he could ever have imagined. “Lavinia,” he said hoarsely, and before he realized what he was going to say he had already said it, “may I kiss you?”

           For a moment, Lavinia blinked, her expression blank, and then a smile broke across her face like the sun rising. “I think I would quite enjoy kissing you,” she said, and she leaned forward. Gideon had no time to react before he found one hand on her shoulder and one hand on her waist; Lavinia’s hands rested on the front of his broad chest. She was tall, though not as tall as Gideon, but he didn’t have to bend far to reach her lips.

           Their mouths moved against one another for one long, sweet, breathless moment, before Lavinia pulled back, eyes bright. “I have to keep organizing the triage,” she said, “but perhaps we can continue this conversation later?”

           “Please,” Gideon said hoarsely, wiping the sweat from his forehead and tottering sideways. Then, “Lavinia—have you seen the rest of the Gatewatch?”

           “Chandra is with Nissa. I’m afraid Nissa’s leg is rather badly broken, but she will be all right once the healers have time to reach her. Ajani has been helping me organize the triage. I—I don’t know where Jace is. I haven’t seen him in hours.”

           Nor had Gideon. Before the battle had begun, the mind mage had said, “it will be better for everyone if no one knows where I am,” and vanished, although he had been close enough to coordinate things mentally nearly the entire time. “I’ll find him,” Gideon said. “I promise, I’ll—”

           There was a commotion in the center of the square. Zarek—the Izzet mage who had been working for Bolas—was dragging himself exhaustedly across the field of battle. In one hand, he held something long and silver that glinted orange in the light of the dying sun. His clothes were singed and ragged, and his head was drooping. Anger surged through Gideon, and he reached for his surral, but before he could do any more than take a minute motion in the traitor’s direction, he heard Jace’s voice.

           “Ral!” And for the first time in hours, Jace appeared. His arrival was heralded by nothing more than a slight flicker in the air, and it occurred to Gideon that Jace hadn’t been very far away at all; the whole time, he had probably been lurking on the fringes of the battle under cover of invisibility. Despite the fact that he had presumably not engaged in much physical combat, he had not escaped unscathed. There was mud caked up to his knees, and several dark stains decorated the arms and torso of his usually spotless blue tunic, which Gideon thought worriedly might very well be blood. Beside that, Jace’s face beneath his nose was half-hidden beneath a layer of bright red blood, twin heavy tracks originating at his nose and daubing his cheeks, mouth, and chin, and, even from here, Gideon could see that his face was chalk-white. But he was grinning from ear to ear.

           Even as Gideon watched, Jace raced across the cobblestones toward Zarek, who had turned as soon as he heard Jace’s cry, reflexively dropping the thing he was holding. Gideon’s mouth dropped open as Jace leaped off the ground and into Zarek’s arms, their lips meeting in a sudden, desperate kiss. Zarek swung him around and broke the kiss, but only for Jace to start kissing every inch of the Izzet mage’s face he could reach.

           Still a little concerned and rather confused, Gideon trotted in their direction, reaching Jace’s side in time to hear his friend half-sobbing, “Mother of storms, we did it, Ral, we really—really—we actually did it!”

           The thing that Zarek had dropped was an arm. Made of some kind of bright, intricate metalwork, it seemed oddly familiar, but it was a long moment before Gideon could place it. Tezzeret. It was Tezzeret’s arm, marked with filth and blood on both ends; this close Gideon could see that the front of Zarek’s tunic had been shredded, and he was bleeding from several long, parallel lacerations.

           Gideon cleared his throat. Although Jace deserved as much privacy as he could possibly handle, it was probably better at this point to clear up any lingering confusion or doubts over Zarek’s role in the recent battle. “Um,” Gideon said. “Jace?”

           Zarek let Jace stumble back down into a standing position, although the two of them continued to lean against one another in a deeply intimate fashion. “I’m sorry I couldn’t tell you,” Jace said. “I—I couldn’t protect all of the minds of the Gatewatch against Bolas, it was as much as I could do to shield me and Ral. Um, Ral, this is Gideon.”

           “Yeah, I think we’ve run into each other on occasion,” the Izzet mage drawled. “Literally. His fist was in my face a few days ago, remember?” So that was how Zarek had gotten away. The Gatewatch had raided his lab and captured him, and a few hours later, he’d been gone again, leaving behind a mind mage who swore he’d only taken his eyes off him for a few seconds. Gideon chuckled. “So, Jace, when you said he’d overpowered you—”

           Jace grinned shamefacedly. “I guess I wasn’t trying all that hard to fight back. Gideon, meet Ral Zarek, Izzet scientist, and the absolute best undercover boyfriend a Guildpact could have.”

           “You realize that’s going to be incredibly complicated now, right?” Zarek grumbled. “Did you have to kiss me in front of half of Ravnica, including Niv?”

           “Yup.” Jace leaned sideways and kissed him again. “I mean, yes, I did, this should take care of at least some of the dirty looks people are going to be giving you.”

           “So I get to trade assassination attempts on account of being Bolas’s stooge for ones on account of being your lover? Sounds fantastic.” But Zarek’s arm hadn’t left Jace’s waist.

           “Good to meet you,” Gideon said. “I suppose this makes you the newest member of the Gatewatch.”

           Zarek rolled his eyes. “It’s such a stupid name,” he grumbled. “I mean, what do you think the gates are going to do if you don’t watch them? Run off? Besides, I’ve been a member since before Ajani, you just didn’t know about it.”

           “That’s not when our plan started, is it?” Jace objected. “Hm. Maybe it is. I’m not sure, we’ll have to compare notes.”

           “At any rate, good to have you on the team,” Gideon said with a smile. “Although I’m going to want a full report on what just happened. Maybe not for another few days, though.”

           “Ugh. Jace, you can handle that.”

           “Oh, as if I’m not going to be swimming in paperwork? Thanks, Ral.”

           “If you do it, I’ll—” Zarek leaned down and murmured something in Jace’s ear, and the Guildpact went dark red from ear to ear.

           “O-Okay,” he said. “I suppose I can put something together.”

           “I think I’d better go help Lavinia with the triage,” Gideon said. “I’m glad to see you’re mostly all right, Jace. Maybe see a healer later, though, both of you?”

           Zarek glanced across the square at where Niv Mizzet still lay sprawled. “I think I’m going to take an off-plane vacation until that paperwork exonerating me comes through,” he said. “Jace—”

           “I can pop back in and file it tomorrow or something,” Jace said. “Gideon, you don’t think that will be a problem?”

           Gideon shook his head. “There will be a mountain of it to process. I’ll let Lavinia know where you are—where are you going?”

           “I’m thinking Kaladesh?”

           “Yeah,” Zarek agreed. “I’ve got friends there, we can get healed up and take a nice break with some artifacts. Artifacts that aren’t trying to kill us sound nice for a change.” With some viciousness, he kicked the metal arm on the ground beside them.

           “I’ll see both of you soon, then,” Gideon said, giving them both another warm smile and a nod. Wiping the sweat off of his forehead, he glanced across to see that Chandra had caught sight of Zarek and was standing up from where she had been crouched beside Nissa. “I’d—better go handle Chandra,” he said hurriedly. “Take care of each other.”

           “Oh, we will,” Zarek said, with a lazy grin. “Come on, Jace.”

           As Gideon set off at a low jog, he felt, for a brief moment, the heat-cold of the Eternities at his back. Well, he hadn’t seen that coming, but it had all worked out for the best. Out of the corner of his eye, he caught sight of a glimmer of cerulean, and he turned to see Lavinia giving him a smile and a wave. Yes, it had all worked out for the best.

[dailychapel]

Dear Lord, as we rise to meet each new day, please let us be filled with Your spirit. Wherever we go, let us spread love, joy, peace, goodness, and faithfulness. Let us desire to become more like you and to worship you in all we do. Help us desire these things so much more than the sin that entices us. Thank you for always going before us. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

[Gen 21:1-21 NIV] 1 Now the LORD was gracious to Sarah as he had said, and the LORD did for Sarah what he had promised. 2 Sarah became pregnant and bore a son to Abraham in his old age, at the very time God had promised him. 3 Abraham gave the name Isaac to the son Sarah bore him. 4 When his son Isaac was eight days old, Abraham circumcised him, as God commanded him. 5 Abraham was a hundred years old when his son Isaac was born to him. 6 Sarah said, "God has brought me laughter, and everyone who hears about this will laugh with me." 7 And she added, "Who would have said to Abraham that Sarah would nurse children? Yet I have borne him a son in his old age." 8 The child grew and was weaned, and on the day Isaac was weaned Abraham held a great feast. 9 But Sarah saw that the son whom Hagar the Egyptian had borne to Abraham was mocking, 10 and she said to Abraham, "Get rid of that slave woman and her son, for that woman's son will never share in the inheritance with my son Isaac." 11 The matter distressed Abraham greatly because it concerned his son. 12 But God said to him, "Do not be so distressed about the boy and your slave woman. Listen to whatever Sarah tells you, because it is through Isaac that your offspring will be reckoned. 13 I will make the son of the slave into a nation also, because he is your offspring." 14 Early the next morning Abraham took some food and a skin of water and gave them to Hagar. He set them on her shoulders and then sent her off with the boy. She went on her way and wandered in the Desert of Beersheba. 15 When the water in the skin was gone, she put the boy under one of the bushes. 16 Then she went off and sat down about a bowshot away, for she thought, "I cannot watch the boy die." And as she sat there, she began to sob. 17 God heard the boy crying, and the angel of God called to Hagar from heaven and said to her, "What is the matter, Hagar? Do not be afraid; God has heard the boy crying as he lies there. 18 Lift the boy up and take him by the hand, for I will make him into a great nation." 19 Then God opened her eyes and she saw a well of water. So she went and filled the skin with water and gave the boy a drink. 20 God was with the boy as he grew up. He lived in the desert and became an archer. 21 While he was living in the Desert of Paran, his mother got a wife for him from Egypt.

[Psa 139:11-17 NIV] 11 If I say, "Surely the darkness will hide me and the light become night around me," 12 even the darkness will not be dark to you; the night will shine like the day, for darkness is as light to you. 13 For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. 14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. 15 My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place, when I was woven together in the depths of the earth. 16 Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be. 17 How precious to me are your thoughts, God! How vast is the sum of them!

[Eph 5:15-33 NIV] 15 Be very careful, then, how you live--not as unwise but as wise, 16 making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil. 17 Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the Lord's will is. 18 Do not get drunk on wine, which leads to debauchery. Instead, be filled with the Spirit, 19 speaking to one another with psalms, hymns, and songs from the Spirit. Sing and make music from your heart to the Lord, 20 always giving thanks to God the Father for everything, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ. 21 Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. 22 Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. 25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 26 to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, 27 and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. 28 In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church-- 30 for we are members of his body. 31 "For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh." 32 This is a profound mystery--but I am talking about Christ and the church. 33 However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.

Our Father, who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name, thy kingdom come, thy will be done, on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread. And forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors. And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil. For thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory, forever. Amen.

Lord Jesus Christ, send us out with confidence in your word, to tell the world of your saving acts, and bring glory to your name. Amen.

[hoseastudy]

Day 29:  Surrender - by Sabrina Acosta

I surrender “Your obedience not only affects you but those around you.”  How true is that statement! Recently I have experienced that, seeing my obedience affecting others. The last few months the Lord has set things on my heart, telling me to go and do. I was always too afraid to do what He asked of me, never fully trusting in Him. This time I threw out the fear and doubt and stepped out with bold faith. The song below has been the theme song to my summer.

But he said, “on the contrary, blessed are those who hear the word of God, and observe it.” Luke 11:28 NASB 

… Who hear the word of God, and obey it. NIV

Obey- shama

Brown-Driver-Brigg’s Definition:to hear to hear with attention or interest, listen toto consent, agreeto listen to, yield to to obey, be obedient

Sometime in June the Lord had placed someone on my heart, asking me to reach out to and encourage. For a while I wrestled with fear and doubt that this person wouldn’t respond so well to what God had asked of me. I took that leap of faith trusting that the Lord had prepared the way for me. He did! He had been working in them stirring up something inside and He used me to help lead them out of their wandering. In my obedience another’s faith has become stronger.  If I didn’t listen they could still be struggling in their walk, feeding the flesh and starving the spirit. Seeing what unfolds when you’re obedient is something else.

Trust in the LORD with all your heart and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and he will make your paths straight. – Proverbs 3:5-6

Trust- batach

Brown-Driver-Brigg’s Definition:to trust to trust, trust into be bold to have confidence, be confident to be boldbe secureto feel safe, be careless

“My soul will rest in your embrace”

Answering His call to serve in a different country, trusting that all of it would fall into place. My assurance in Him I found rest, in all of the preparation for the trip, never was I worried or concerned about going out into a completely different place. I wasn’t nervous about flying for the first time, the culture, the food, and the language barrier, none of it phased me. I was covered in His precious peace. I am a nervous, anxious mess most of the time but because I fully trusted in Him, I was at ease. I knew He was present and not once did I feel nervous about what would happen next. I guess it can be scary being in another country but seriously I was never afraid of this foreign place. The Lord held me the whole time; I was secure and safe in Him.   

You see that faith was working with his works, and as a result of the works, faith was perfected; -James 2:22

Faith-  (pis’-tis)

Strong’s definition:  Persuasion, that is, credence; moral conviction (of religious truth, or the truthfulness of God or a religious teacher), especially reliance upon Christ for salvation; abstractly constancy in such profession; by extension the system of religious (Gospel) truth itself: assurance, belief, believe, faith, fidelity.

“ Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander and my faith would be made stronger in the presence of my savior.”

The Lord took me deeper than ever. Serving and stepping out of my comfort zone, having bold faith and experiencing Him like no other. Resting in His presence my faith has been made stronger. My first time obedience brought on more than just incredible experiences but an outpouring of blessings and heartbreaking gratitude. On the plane leaving India I was awaken to lunch, some sort of chicken salad sandwich. The taste was so familiar a flood of so many emotions came over me. The sandwich was so normal it reminded me of the foods I had been eating all week long - food I wasn’t accustomed to and now I craved it. I just wanted to stay in India. I began to weep thinking of our time there, our new precious friends. I turned away leaning my head against the window trying not to sob so loudly. Trying to quiet myself I started to pray... I thanked the Lord for such an incredible experience...this brought on even more tears. I was so thankful that He revealed Himself to me that week changing me, my heart. In that moment I wanted to shout  “Thank you Lord!” How faithful is He when we are obedient, revealing Himself when our trust is set fully in Him.

Just by obeying Him those few times, my life has been refined. So what would happen if I was fully surrendered? Letting go. Giving my all to Him. Always abiding in Him. Wholly surrendered I would be able to experience Him more and more. Throwing out all I think I know so He can come rushing in. Every moment can be the way it was on the plane crying out in complete gratitude. I would love that! Being so overwhelmed by His love that all I can do is say thank you! Thank you! Thank you!

I encourage you to be still in His presence and listen and respond with obedience and gratitude. Step out with bold faith and trust in Him with everything fully surrendered. 

Sabrina

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August 23, 2021

The God Who Sees You JO SAXTON

Lee en español

“She gave this name to the LORD who spoke to her: ‘You are the God who sees me,’ for she said, ‘I have now seen the One who sees me.’” Genesis 16:13 (NIV)

Sitting down in my favorite chair, cup of tea in hand, journal by my side, I was ready to read the Bible and pray. My family had been instructed not to disturb me and was a distant sound upstairs. Even the dog was quiet. I appreciated the space because I had a singular focus that evening. I was determined to spend time with God because I needed some answers.

My business, once the fruit of dreams we’d prayed and fasted over, was failing. Every day felt like I was working hard to rescue a sinking ship. We tried new strategies; we tried old strategies — nothing worked. I was exhausted.

I needed a plan to fix things; I needed to know the next step. There were some difficult choices to make, but how would I discern them? I needed God’s guidance.

I sat down with every intention of seeking God for direction. I was ready to pray all the confusion out and pray all the clarity in! But when I began, all I could say was:

“God, would You mind if I got into the fetal position, please … because … I can’t —”

My voice broke with sobs that spoke the prayers my words couldn’t form. I curled into a ball on the floor and wept because it’s hard to hold it all together when you’re falling apart. I’d been telling everyone, including myself, that I was “tired but OK.”

But I couldn’t fake it with God. So I stayed on the floor for what seemed like forever, pouring my heart out to Him. The grief and confusion, the anger and disappointment. Eventually a phrase came to my mind: “You are the God who sees me.” I took a slow, deep breath. Hagar.

Hagar spoke these words in the desert after escaping the mistreatment of Abram and Sarai. Her life had been swept up into their own broken struggles, and they had utterly broken her. Yet in the desert, Hagar discovered that, though she had limited value in Abram and Sarai’s eyes, every part of her life was precious to God, and He would redeem her story. In response, Hagar called Him El Roi — the God who sees.

How often do you feel that God doesn’t see what you’re going through? Perhaps you don’t take it personally; after all, there’s so much going on in the world, so many other people in need. Or maybe it does feel personal, as though God sees everyone’s life but yours, hears everyone’s prayers but yours. We struggle through difficult relationships, challenging circumstances, hard decisions that give us sleepless nights. Maybe, like me, you dutifully prepare yourself to pray the right prayers, read the right words and try to be strong for everyone, including God … even though in reality you’re falling apart.

That tearful evening, I was reminded that God doesn’t need me to try to be strong for Him when I’m going through a crisis. He is not surprised by my circumstances; He cares about them and He cares for me. He is the God who sees me.

When I was in crisis, He saw my disappointment and shattered dreams. He saw how afraid I was; He knew the way this crisis touched old wounds and scars in my past. He saw me trying to hold it together for everyone and loved me in it all. He met me there on the floor — and He reminded me of who He is. He is still the God who sees me and redeems my story.

God has seen every chapter of your story, the parts you celebrate and the parts you wish you could forget. He sees you today, in the struggles and the tiredness, the fears and the fun. He sees every part of you. He knows you. He loves you. And when life is falling apart, His hold on you is stronger than your hold on Him. He has no intention of letting you go. He will redeem your story.

Heavenly Father, You know my every thought, my deepest longings and every hope. You know the reality of all my days. Thank You that I do not have to be strong with You. Please help me today. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

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March 5, 2021

Thirsting For Rest Amid Stress BRENDA BRADFORD OTTINGER

Lee en español

“Then God opened Hagar’s eyes, and she saw a well full of water. She quickly filled her water container and gave the boy a drink.” Genesis 21:19 (NLT)

I’d barely tiptoed into dreamland before hearing a clamor down the hall. Rising in the moonlit shadows, I tended to the night-owl noise of my offspring before shuffling back to the warmth of my sheets.

Yet my mind had long forsaken sleep, wandering instead through a mental desert of checklists and concerns. A tide of trouble beat against the shores of my soul, begging a prayer or two or ten. My heart is not skilled at laying down a world of worry without putting my sticky fingerprints on it again and again and again.

And in the soft glow before dawn, my thoughts drifted to another weary mom named Hagar, who we meet in Genesis Chapters 16 and 21.

God promised a son to Abraham and his wife Sarah, but Sarah grew tired of waiting and arranged for Abraham to father a child with her maidservant, Hagar. As Sarah’s maidservant, Hagar was regarded as belonging to Sarah, therefore Hagar’s child would belong to her as well. Sarah’s plan for parenthood succeeded, and Hagar delivered Abraham’s firstborn child, Ishmael. Sadly, as Ishmael grew, so did the tension between these two women. (Genesis 18, 21)

Of course, God remained faithful to His promise, and in His appointed time, Sarah gave birth to Isaac. But the conflict between Hagar and Sarah continued, reaching an all-time high when Sarah witnessed young Ishmael harassing Isaac, and she demanded Abraham send Ishmael and Hagar away.

While trekking alone through the desert with nowhere to go, Hagar and Ishmael depleted their last drop of water. Anguished, Hagar placed her son in the shade to eventually die, sat down by herself and sobbed. Her weary heart wept with all the worry and exhaustion of sustaining the survival of her family.

Oh, how her cry echoes through the centuries, resonating in my modern-day soul. So often I drain my last drop of physical and mental reserve, yet still thirst for rest amid stress.

Walking out our varied responsibilities as women isn’t always easy and charmed, is it?

But take heart — hope abides in the most parched of places. This wasn’t the end of Hagar’s story. The Bible tells us that God saw her pain, saying, “… What is the matter, Hagar? Do not be afraid …” (Genesis 21:17, NIV).

God called her by name. He knew her, saw her and cared for her anxious heart in two ways, as only He could:

First, God calmed her soul-deep fears about the future. He assured her that He would take care of her and Ishmael, repeating the promise He gave her in Genesis 16:10. “Lift the boy up and take him by the hand, for I will make him into a great nation” (Genesis 21:18, NIV).

And then, there in the midst of Hagar’s desert, God provided a wellspring of relief: “Then God opened Hagar’s eyes, and she saw a well full of water. She quickly filled her water container and gave the boy a drink” (Genesis 21:19).

In this timeless tale of a worn-out, worried woman, fresh life abounds for our dehydrated spirits.

Beloved, God knows our names too, and His faithful eye is tracking us through every desert of distress we travel. He hears our cries and comforts us with the tender calm of His whisper: “Do not be afraid,” bringing healing and life to the parched ground of our weary hearts.

Verse 20 shows us, as so many places in the Bible do, that we have a God who can be trusted: “God was with the boy as he grew up” (Genesis 21:20a, NIV).

Be encouraged — He’s still the God who forms living water from desert dust.

Dear God, thank You that You know my name and track my path through life. Please refresh me with Your strength as I walk out the purpose You’ve planned for me. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

TRUTH FOR TODAY: Isaiah 40:29, “He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak.” (NIV)

Matthew 11:28, “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” (NIV)

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November 16, 2020

God Sees and Hears You LAURA BAILEY Lee en español

“I waited patiently for the LORD; he turned to me and heard my cry.” Psalm 40:1 (NIV)

Sitting on the bathroom floor with mascara-streaked cheeks, I sobbed. “Lord, do You even care about my problems?”

As soon as the words left my lips, guilt overcame me. Women who want children suffer from infertility, people who need paychecks lose their jobs, and the homeless who need beds sleep on the streets. Meanwhile, I bemoaned a child who wouldn't sleep through the night, a husband who worked late into the evening, and a messy house that seemed impossible to keep organized and tidy.

No doubt my moments of distress pale compared to that of most people, but does that mean God cares less about them or about me? Does He view me as whiny and selfish because I express discontentment or cry out for solace in circumstances that cause me angst?

When I find myself discouraged and disheartened, I open the book of Psalms. Over 70% of the book depicts woe and lament, a passionate expression of grief or sorrow. Centuries before the famous blues musician B.B. King lived, there was David, a veritable “King of the Blues.” Reading through the Psalms feels like reading David's diary. It reveals David's unedited, unfiltered relationship with God, riddled with the highest of highs to the lowest of lows.

Psalm 40 provides an intimate look at David's beseeching the Lord to save him and God’s loving and compassionate response: “I waited patiently for the LORD; he turned to me and heard my cry” (Psalm 40:1). David further states that God lifted him out of a “pit of destruction” and “miry bog” and set his feet upon a rock, making his steps safe and secure (ESV).

Instead of simply thanking the Lord and moving on, David praised God for His faithfulness, righteousness and love in the next 14 verses. David hadn't just asked God to deliver him on that one occasion; he had implored Him not to withhold mercy and to rescue him time and time again, which God did.

Motherhood had landed me on the bathroom floor, exhausted, depleted and desperate for a break. Feeling trapped, I prayed God would somehow make a way for me to have a few hours to recharge. Alas, the day passed, night fell, and a new morning dawned with the familiar wails of my baby girl.

Except on that morning, my baby was not the only one demanding my attention — my phone was dinging. A lady from church called to invite my daughters over for the afternoon. A few hours later, a friend called to tell me she thought I would benefit from a night that did not involve cooking or cleaning. Then, just minutes later, my husband sent a text saying his afternoon meeting had been canceled, followed by the suggestion I go out with a friend and “take the night off.”

Instantly, I thought, Wow! I can’t believe this is all working out today. What luck! It wasn’t luck. It was a gracious heavenly Father who heard my cries and orchestrated a way to lift me out of my “miry bog.”

Friend, I don’t know what weighs on your heart, but I am confident in this: God knows you, and He cares about you, including all of your burdens, heavy or light.

Our heavenly Father created us for fellowship. He loves us and desires an intimate relationship with us. He delights in our singing, praising and shouting thanksgiving to Him, but He also wants us to go to Him when we are hurting, upset and dismayed by life. Call on the Lord; He sees and hears you.

Heavenly Father, thank You for being our helper and deliverer when we are troubled. May we seek a deep, close relationship with You in times of pain as well as in times of joy. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

TRUTH FOR TODAY: Psalm 46:1, “God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.” (ESV)

Philippians 4:6, “Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done.” (NLT)

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October 22, 2020

The One We Really Need Today LYSA TERKEURST

Lee en español

“Then Jesus declared, ‘I am the bread of life. Whoever comes to me will never go hungry, and whoever believes in me will never be thirsty.’” John 6:35 (NIV)

At times, I’ve looked at prayer requests like Amazon Prime deliveries.

I want to know I’ll get what I ask for. I want what’s delivered to look like what I expected and to arrive in record time. And then I will feel so close to God because He did what I wanted!

I’m not proud of this. I’m challenged by it. Because there’s something too human and predictable about that being the way prayer actually works. Then my prayers become orders I place, the answers as cheap as products, and the sender nothing more than a far-removed entity I give little thought to until I need something else.

I want to change this. I want to come to God with my needs, my desires, my hunger and recognize that whatever He places before me is His daily bread. When Jesus taught us what to pray each day, His first request was for daily bread. But isn’t it true that bread took on many different forms in the Bible?

Sometimes it looks like a loaf from the oven, (Leviticus 2:4) other times like manna from heaven, (Deuteronomy 8:3) or best of all, like Jesus who declared Himself as the bread of life. (John 6:35) All three are God’s perfect provision. But with our human eyes, we would probably only recognize the loaf of bread as good and most fitting, and what a tragedy that would be.

The loaf of bread may be what I want from God, but isn’t the loaf the least miraculous of all the forms of bread? It’s the kind of provision we have to work to receive from the ground, harvesting the wheat, processing it and then baking it — all with our own hands. But maybe that’s what I like so much about the loaf of bread. Since I’m working for it, I have a sense of control over it.

Manna represents what God simply gives. The manna that fell from heaven for the children of Israel was God’s perfect sustenance, even though it looked more like little seeds or flakes rather than loaves of bread. And yet it came directly from God, day by day, and kept more than 2 million Israelites alive in the desert for the 40 years they needed it. It was miraculous.

But even with manna, people had some part to play. They had to go outside their tents to pick it up. They didn’t grow it, but they could count on it.

Control and consistency make me feel like I’m trusting God when, in reality, I’m just counting on Him to the level that He comes through for me.

The best kind of bread, though, is the bread of life: Jesus Himself. This isn’t provision we work for or provision we simply pick up; this is provision in Christ deposited inside of us that nourishes and sustains us all the way down to our souls.

In John 6:35, “Jesus declared, ‘I am the bread of life. Whoever comes to me will never go hungry, and whoever believes in me will never be thirsty.’” Jesus is the most miraculous provision, and the one already given to us today — but maybe the one least recognized as being everything we need.

And I know you might be saying, “Look, Lysa, what’s in front of me is awful, so this doesn’t make me want to trust God more. It makes me trust Him less!” I understand that. I feel the same way about some of what’s in front of me right now too.

If we have Jesus today, we are living in answered prayer and provision. The One who brings about good, even from the awful we are seeing with our physical eyes, is actively working on our behalf right now. He is talking to the Father about you right now in ways that, if you could hear Him, would make you never afraid of what is in front of you. Never question His love for you or His goodness to you.

We see only what the human mind can imagine, but God is building something we cannot even fathom. We may see it in time, or not until eternity. But until we see it, we can know with certainty that whatever He gives us truly is His good provision, whether that good is for today or part of a much bigger plan.

So today, friends, we can pray what we need to pray. Pray all the words, let the tears flow into sobs and frustrations mixed with hope. And then, we can look at what’s right in front of us through what we know to be true about God. And trust Jesus to eventually make something beautiful from it.

Jesus, thank You for being the perfect sustenance that I need today. I look to You as the Bread of Life. Help me when I’m struggling as I wait for my prayers to be answered in Your perfect timing. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

TRUTH FOR TODAY: Psalm 54:4, “Surely God is my help; the Lord is the one who sustains me.” (NIV)