directnyc

[cyberesc]

THE BOY IS MINE. (PART 2)

pairing: Prohero!Bakugo x Prohero!Reader

rating: slight angst, hurt/comfort, reader needs a break tbh

note: I forgot where I was originally going with this story when I wrote this a few years ago since part 2 was only 70% done in my drafts, hope this was a good read ! it was fun writing dialogue for Hitomi, might bring her back for a new series🤐

part 1

You don't know when it happened, but somehow, your very existence seemed to aggravate Hitomi, for reasons you couldn’t understand. Your coworkers noticed it, even your assistant made a passing comment, but they urged you not to take it personally. Still, the cold stares, the subtle digs, and the way she tried to one-up you at every turn, it all started to wear on you. What you didn’t know was that her attitude stemmed from the time she spent in one-on-one training sessions with Bakugo.

The list of things Bakugo is good at is so long it would be stupid to write about, so it was obvious that he would be the perfect mentor. His sharp eyes caught every mistake, his feedback was brutally honest, and his results were undeniable. Hitomi knew this and respected him for it. But there was something else that ate away at her during those sessions, something that made her resentment towards you grow stronger with each passing day.

It started with the small comments Bakugo would make, things he probably didn’t even realize he was saying out loud. “Y/N always nails this move on the first try,” he muttered once, when Hitomi fumbled during a drill. Or, “You’re gripping too tight—Y/N knows how to balance strength with control.” At first, Hitomi tried to brush it off, telling herself that Bakugo was just using you as an example to push her to do better, after all you were in the top rankings of Japan for a reason. But the more it happened, the more it grated on her. It wasn't just that you were good—it was that you seemed to be the benchmark against which she was measured.

The worst part, the part that truly made her snap, came during a routine training session. Hitomi was testing the mobility of her suit after some recent upgrades, moving through the drills with the precision she had honed under Bakugo’s guidance. He observed her as usual, his sharp eyes catching every nuance, every mistake.

But then, as she finished a complex maneuver, he made a comment that made her blood run cold. “You’ve got the power, but you’re hesitating,” Bakugo remarked, his tone almost distracted. “They would’ve read that shift in a heartbeat, made the move smoother.” he continued under his breath.

He didn’t even look at her when he said it. The reference was subtle, but Hitomi knew exactly who he meant. He talked about you enough for her to pick up on the unspoken comparison.

It wasn’t just that he compared her to you; it was that, in his mind, you were the standard she could never reach. The unattainable.

In that moment, it solidified for Hitomi: no matter how hard she trained, no matter how perfectly she executed every move, she would always be second to you in his eyes. His words echoed in her head, taunting her, and she knew then that she wasn’t just competing with a fellow hero. She was battling against the idealized version of you that Bakugo seemed to hold onto, an impossible shadow she could never escape.

It wasn’t rare for Dynamight to be paired with lower-ranking heroes on missions or patrols, but you happened to be his frequent partner. You weren’t sure if it was because your quirks worked well together or because you could read each other in any situation. Little did you know, Bakugo’s unconscious behavior around you was something even his assistant had picked up on. He didn’t lose his temper as easily when you were around, and on the rare occasions he did, it was never directed at you. He even made subtle nods at reporters before blasting off with you by his side. Almost every mission you collaborated on ended successfully, a fact that wasn’t lost on the agency.

Hitomi had noticed, too. She watched the way Bakugo seemed more grounded when you were around, how he sometimes deferred to your judgment without argument, and how he never seemed to mind your presence. That’s what made her resentment so sharp—it was one thing to compete with you in training, but another thing entirely to see that you were already a fixture in the life of the hero she admired—the man she wanted.

Your first mistake, if you could even call it that, was during a debriefing session. Hitomi had suggested a strategy, one that was sound but flawed in a way only experience could detect. You pointed it out, offering a correction in a calm, professional manner. It wasn’t meant to be demeaning, but to Hitomi, it felt like a public embarrassment. And Bakugo, instead of defending her, nodded in agreement with you, reinforcing the gap between her and you in his mind.

Another time, in the break room, she overheard a conversation where Bakugo was praising your tactical instincts. He never did that for anyone else, not even her—the one he had personally trained to analyze and fight just like him. She had been mentored by the best, molded to think and act with the same precision and intensity that Bakugo himself embodied. So, it came as a shock when she realized that everything she did, using everything she had learned from him, wasn’t good enough to hold his attention.

From then on, every interaction with you became a painful reminder that you held a place in Bakugo’s life that she couldn’t touch. So, she decided to carve out her own space, to prove that she could be the one who stood by his side.

The tension between you two only grew, feeding off these moments until it became a palpable force within the agency. And as much as you tried to stay above it, to focus on your work and ignore the subtle hostility, it was impossible not to notice. The whispers of office gossip, the way Hitomi would shoot you a look whenever Bakugo acknowledged you in a meeting—it all added up, and it all pointed to the truth you were too kind to see: Hitomi wasn’t just competing with you. She wanted to take everything you had, including Bakugo.

Hitomi’s resentment towards you was not something she could easily suppress. It wasn’t just about competition; it was personal. And when she realized that Bakugo saw you as a benchmark she could never reach, it drove her to desperate measures. If she couldn’t directly compete with you on the field, she would try to outmaneuver you in the court of public opinion.

So she set up a rumor to shift the narrative. It began subtly, with carefully orchestrated moments designed to seed the idea in the media. She made sure to be seen with Bakugo frequently, arranging coincidental encounters that were just intimate enough to spark curiosity. It was all carefully planned to catch the eye of the paparazzi.

The crucial moment came when Hitomi arranged for an image to be captured. A staged photo, one that would make it look like she and Bakugo were involved in a romantic relationship. The key was using a lookalike, someone who bore a striking resemblance to Bakugo, someone subtle enough to create a convincing illusion without risking his actual reputation.

The resulting photo, taken from a distance, showed Bakugo— or allegedly Bakugo—with his arm around Hitomi’s shoulders.

She meticulously chose the location of Bakugo’s favorite konbini, a spot he frequented to fuel up between patrols. This particular konbini was a well-kept secret among a few close friends and had become a sort of personal refuge for him. By selecting this location, Hitomi aimed to make a statement—a pointed message aimed directly at you.

The magazine’s social media team spread the image far and wide, igniting a storm of speculation and gossip. Fans and media alike began buzzing about the potential romance, analyzing every interaction between Bakugo and Hitomi for signs of affection. The craze was relentless, and soon, it became a trending topic. Headlines everywhere echoed the same speculation, and Hitomi basked in the growing buzz.

It was a clever ploy. With Bakugo’s name and your connection to him constantly in the limelight, it created a smokescreen that obscured the truth and shifted public perception. By the time you and Bakugo were confronted with the rumor, it had already gained enough traction to cause serious damage. Hitomi had successfully planted the seeds of doubt, making it seem like she was the one who had captured Bakugo’s attention.

Hitomi’s actions were not just about rivalry. She was trying to erase your presence and position herself as the ideal partner, hoping that by winning over those around Bakugo and creating a convincing narrative, she could finally gain what she felt she deserved.

Hitomi’s plan was working, and you were now caught in the crossfire of a fight you hadn’t even realized you were part of. And that’s where it all began to unravel.

After your checkup at the agency’s infirmary, the reality of your situation set in. The injury was severe enough that your boss decided to put you on desk duty until you were fully recovered. It was frustrating, but you had little choice but to comply.

Today, you found yourself seated at your desk, sifting through paperwork and mission reports. The mundane tasks offered a welcome distraction from your physical pain, but it did little to quell the storm of emotions that raged within you.

The agency’s hallways bustled with activity, heroes and sidekicks moving about in their usual hurried fashion. You were doing your best to stay out of everyone’s way, trying to blend into the background. You were engrossed in organizing a stack of reports when there was a knock on your door.

“Come in,” you called, not looking up.

“Hey, Y/N!” The cheery, singsong voice of Hitomi reached your ears, and you tensed. You had hoped to avoid any direct communication with her, but it seemed luck wasn’t on your side today.

You looked up slowly, forcing a neutral expression onto your face as she approached you with a case file under one arm and a newspaper clutched in her hand. Her gaze flicked over to you with an expression that was anything but friendly.

“How can I help you?,” you said curtly, not in the mood for small talk.

“I thought you might want to see this,” she said, her tone dripping with false sweetness. She tossed the newspaper onto your desk and placed the case file beside it.

Looking down, your heart sank as you read the newspaper’s headline: “ANOTHER HERO BITES THE DUST! PRO HERO Y/H/N CAN’T HANDLE THE HEAT!” The article was filled with damning criticisms and snide remarks, painting you in a poor light due to your mess up.

Hitomi smirked as she noticed your reaction. “You know how it is. The media loves to stir up drama. Thought you’d appreciate the heads-up.” She gave you a patronizing wave and turned to leave.

The moment she was gone, you let out a heavy sigh, grabbing the newspaper and crumpling it in your hands. With a grimace, you tossed it into the trash can, trying to ignore the sting of humiliation that the article left behind.

It had been a week since the billboard incident, and despite your best efforts to avoid Bakugo, it was inevitable that you would cross paths eventually. You had spent those days focusing on your hero work, throwing yourself into your duties with an intensity that left you exhausted by the end of each day. But no matter how hard you tried, you couldn’t shake the heavy weight in your chest.

Boring days of recovery were soon over. The bandages were finally coming off, and you were able to inspect your hero suit in preparation for your first patrol since the incident. The repairs were almost complete, and you hoped that getting back to work would help distract you from the recent turmoil.

As you were adjusting your suit in the testing room, you heard the door swing open. Hitomi walked in with her repaired support gear, her humming coming to a halt at the sight of you.

“Hey Y/N!” She greeted

You nodded in greeting, quickly attaching the support items to your suit to avoid a conversation.

She didn’t seem to notice your lack of enthusiasm. “I saw you around the other day but didn’t get a chance to chat. You’ve been working hard, haven’t you?” Her tone was laced with false sweetness, and you could sense the underlying hostility.

“Paperwork kept me busy,” you replied, adjusting the straps to your suit . You really didn’t want to have this conversation.

Her smile widened, as she took a step closer. “Well, you know how it is around here. There’s always something to keep us busy,” she said, her tone light. “I guess it’s why they say people like us need someone who understands the grind, right? Someone who gets how demanding this work can be.”

You felt a subtle tension in her words, but you weren’t sure where she was going with this. “Yeah, it’s a tough job.”

Hitomi’s eyes flickered with a hint of something more as she leaned in slightly. “Exactly. That’s why it’s so important to have someone who can keep up, someone who’s… on the same level. Makes things easier, don’t you think?”

There was an undercurrent to her words that you couldn’t ignore, but you weren’t ready to engage with it. “I suppose,” you replied cautiously.

She tilted her head, her smile never wavering. “Like Bakugo, for instance. He really needs someone who understands him, someone who’s in sync with him. It’s funny how the media picks up on these things.”

Your chest tightened, the implication of her words hitting you like a ton of bricks. “The media?” you asked, trying to keep your tone neutral.

“Oh, you know how they are,” she said with a casual shrug. “Always speculating about who’s with who, who’s spending time together… Sometimes they’re not too far off, though.” She chuckled softly, but there was a sharp edge to the sound. “But I guess that’s just part of being in the spotlight.”

You raised a brow at her words as she continued.

“You know—people talk. They notice who spends time together, who seems… close. But anyway, it’s a shame you’ve been avoiding Bakugo. But I guess it’s for the best.”

Realizing what she was insinuating, you could feel the tension building in your chest. “What are you getting at, Hitomi?”

She maintained that infuriatingly casual tone. “Oh, nothing specific. Just making an observation. But…let’s be real, Y/N. You were never really in the running, were you?”

You bit down on your tongue, recalling the lessons from your time as a sidekick at Endeavor's agency. Back then, you were trained to handle criticism and bounce back quickly. Being a hero meant facing harsh judgment from reporters and the press, and you had learned to develop a thick skin. You’d been through the wringer as a rookie, chewed up and spit out, and had come out stronger for it. Hitomi wasn’t the first to try and get under your skin, and she certainly wouldn’t be the last. Your resolve was solid, and you weren’t about to let her words shake you now.

Seeing that you had no reaction, she pressed on, her tone turning more aggressive. “Honestly, I’m surprised you’re even still around here. I mean, after that slip-up the other night, it’s a miracle you didn’t get yourself killed. Maybe you should stick to the sidelines and let the real heroes do the work.”

Something inside you snapped. The pain and frustration that had been building up for days suddenly burst free, and you opened your mouth to retort—but before you could say a word, a familiar voice cut through the air, sharp and angry.

“What the hell did you just say?”

You both turned to see Bakugo standing a few feet away, his crimson eyes narrowed dangerously as he glared at the sidekick. His presence was like a storm cloud rolling in, the atmosphere around him crackling with barely contained fury.

The sidekick’s confident demeanor faltered, her eyes widening in surprise and a hint of fear. “D-Dynamight! I was just—”

“You were just what?” Bakugo interrupted, stepping closer. “Talking shit to Y/H/N? Your superior?”

She stammered, clearly panicking. “I-I wasn’t… I didn’t mean—”

Bakugo’s expression darkened, his voice low and deadly calm. “You should know better than to run your mouth about things you don’t understand.”

The sidekick’s eyes darted between you and Bakugo, realizing she was in serious trouble. “But—”

Bakugo spoke over her, his patience completely gone. “You’ve got some nerve, talking like you know a damn thing about me or Y/N.”

You were frozen in place, watching the scene unfold in disbelief. Even after avoiding him for so long and keeping your distance, Bakugo was defending you—unrelentingly—and it was clear that he wasn’t going to let Hitomi off the hook.

“You’ve been nothing but a pain in the ass since you got here. Cause of what? All the delusional crap you read in a magazine? That ends now.”

The sidekick paled. “I’m sorry, Dynamight, I didn’t mean—”

“Save it. Now get the hell out of here.” he growled, not giving her a chance to finish.

You could hear when her heart broke, she glanced at you one last time, a look you read that you’ve won. Without another word, she bolted from the room, her confidence completely shattered. The moment she was gone, Bakugo turned his attention to you, his expression softening slightly, though the tension in his shoulders remained.

You stared at him, still reeling from what had just happened. “Bakugo, I—”

“Don’t,” he interrupted, his tone gentler than before. “Don’t apologize for her being a damn idiot.”

“I wasn’t going to apologize,” you said quietly. “I just… I didn��t know.”

“Didn’t know what?” he asked, his brow furrowing.

You looked down at your feet, your voice barely above a whisper. “About the rumors… I thought it was true.”

Bakugo let out a frustrated sigh, running a hand through his hair. “Of course you did. Those vultures love to stir up shit for clicks. None of it was true. I’m not dating her—or anyone.”

You felt lighter from his words but quickly pushed down the hope that tried to rise in your chest. “But why didn’t you say anything?”

“I didn’t think I needed to,” he muttered, looking almost sheepish. “I told you before, I wasn’t interested in dating. And I figured you’d know I wouldn’t get involved in that kind of crap.”

You swallowed hard, feeling a mix of relief and lingering hurt. “I… I didn’t want to assume anything. And after what I saw… I guess I thought I had misread everything between us.”

Bakugo’s gaze softened, and he stepped closer, his hand resting on your shoulder. “You didn’t misread anything. I know what I said before—But that doesn’t mean I don’t care about you, dumbass.”

The warmth of his hand on your shoulder, the sincerity in his eyes—it was too much. Your resolve crumbled, and you felt tears prickling at the corners of your eyes. “I thought you were just stringing me along.”

Bakugo’s heart ached at the sight of your tears, and without hesitation, he gently pulled you into a hug, his arms wrapping around you protectively. “’m sorry… I can be a total idiot sometimes, but I’d never screw with you on purpose.”

He rested his chin on your head. “So, don’t let that bullshit get to you.”

You buried your face in his chest, letting yourself relax into his embrace. “I missed you,” you mumbled into his hero suit, the words escaping before you could stop them.

He let out a soft huff, his hand moving to the back of your head, holding you close. The sound of his heart skipping a beat was unmistakable. “Missed you too, idiot. We’ll figure this out, okay? Just… don’t shut me out again.”

You nodded against his chest, feeling the weight that had been pressing down on you finally start to lift. “Okay.”

He pulled back slightly, just enough to look you in the eyes, his thumb brushing away a stray tear from your cheek. “Look, I’m not great at this, but… I want to try. With you.”

Your breath hitched, hope flaring back to life in your chest. “Really?”

Bakugo nodded, his expression serious. “Yeah. We can take it slow, figure things out…but I’m not letting you walk away.”

A small smile tugged at your lips as you looked up at him. “Wouldn’t dream of it, Katsuki.”

He smiled, his dimples appearing at the sound of his first name rolling off your tongue, and he leaned in, pressing a gentle, lingering kiss to your forehead. “Good.”

You leaned into him, feeling the last remnants of doubt melt away. As he pulled back, you felt his breath against your skin. His eyes flickered down to your lips, with an unspoken question hung in the air. Without overthinking it, you leaned up on your toes, closing the small distance between you.

Bakugo hesitated for the briefest of moments, then closed the gap, capturing your lips in a kiss that was tender. Everything he couldn’t say with words was poured into that kiss—every frustration, every ounce of care, every unresolved feeling that had been simmering between you for so long.

Your arms wrapped around his neck as you leaned into the kiss, the warmth of his embrace grounding you. His hands settled on your waist, pulling you closer as if he was afraid you might slip away. The world around you seemed to fade, leaving just the two of you in that moment.

When you finally pulled back, both of you were breathless, your foreheads resting against each other’s. His eyes were still half-lidded, a faint blush coloring his cheeks—a rare sight for him.

“Damn idiot,” he muttered softly, his voice laced with affection. “Should’ve kissed me sooner.”

You couldn’t help but smile, your fingers gently tracing the line of his jaw. “Maybe I was waiting for you to make the first move.”

He huffed, a small smirk playing on his lips. “Guess I’ll have to make up for lost time, then.”

Before you could respond, he pulled you in for another kiss, this one deeper, more confident—like he was staking his claim. And you kissed him back with equal fervor, knowing that, this time, you weren’t going to let anything or anyone come between you.

When you finally broke apart, you stayed in his arms, content and more at ease than you had felt in weeks. The uncertainty that had plagued you was gone. And for now, that was more than enough.

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[merlinssassybeard]

'Ex' husband Gojo - You and I

Part 1

Tags- Gojo x fem reader, angst, self depreciation/suicidal stuff, miscarriage centered chapter

Synopsis- a look at both of their POVs, the aftermath a month later.

Satoru is devastated but so are you but worse...

22nd October, 2016...

22nd October of 2016 was when it happened. The Legal Separation between you and Satoru Gojo.

Fortunately or not but the whole fiasco never went outside the borders of The Gojo Estate, despite it involving a few 'third parties'.

Luckily, the servants of the house were on a week off or else by now you and Satoru would have become the new gossip of the town no doubt.

Mr Ijichi, an assistant director at the Jujutsu High and a very close and trusted accomplice of your husband... or ex husband, you can't decide.

He is probably the only person who knows about it, not in detail of course since Satoru is very specific on who he wants to be close with but yes, you suspect Mr Ijichi is a bit aware of what went down because he was the one driving the car on that day.

You also suspected at first that maybe Ms Shoko is also in light of the events because she is definitely someone who gets her information one way or the other and the fact Satoru might have... no! He has infact told Shoko about all of it.

When Satoru introduced you to the World of Jujutsu Society, Ms Shoko was the first he got you to meet with and since you have had good relationship with her.

Since your legal separation happened, Shoko and Ijichi have been a mediator, set up by Gojo, for communication since, you know it and so does everybody who knows Gojo Satoru, he's too prideful to go back wagging his tail where he's not needed. Or so he thinks.

Satoru thinks because of his work schedules, he is not able to spend time with you as your husband and not able give you the life you hoped for which definitely affected your mental health (as predicted by his six eyes) and thus you decided for a divorce.

But the new information that he got on that day from you made him realize maybe he was indeed wrong thinking that you are perhaps different from other women who only fell for the looks but mostly for the money and the status of the Gojo family in general.

He never had plans to marry in the Jujutsu Society or The human World (haha as if!) be it arranged or love. He did not care. He had plans to become the wise Sage or a Monk of wisdom, a teacher/mentor like in video games. But all of it changed when he met you, a simple average human.

You were the one who taught Satoru so much. You were the one made him realize that even the strongest sorcerer has a soft heart that has the capability of falling in love.

But what made him solidify his love, making him realize that yes he has fallen in love and he is glad it is you was when you (unknowing about his past with the incident with Riko and Toji) made him realize the fact that all humans are not same.

This was the last and final straw that made the fall for you really bad and sick. He wanted to marry you. But he never said it out loud because of the repercussions you would have to go through and that is why he protested as well when you brought up the topic of marriage.

But none of it matters

None of it

Not anymore

He is done

All humans are the same.

Greed

Lust

Money

Fame

Power

All humans are indeed the same...

Satoru has no interest in any sort of relationships anymore. Everything feels sour and bitter. All he knows now is his role. His role as the strongest sorcerer, a responsible mentor, as the Head of his Clan, Face of the Jujutsu Society altogether. These are his priorities.

Gojo would very much prefer a permanent sort of freedom from you now knowing your true face.

'Ugh awful, so disgusting. A whore? Really? Is that all you thought of yourself y/n when you voluntarily got physical with me before marriage?', he said to himself in his head.

The only reason Gojo sent Separation papers instead of divorce was because it would startle both of yours and his families. The society isn't kind to divorced women and that too the ex wife of the six eyes sorcerer. Oh what a wonderful way to make him vulnerable for the curses and curse users!

He can say whatever he want against you but somewhere, inside that beautiful big and kind heart of his, he wants to talk to you, talk things out, talk about your feelings and wants to listen. But his mind refuses to let down his walls, ever gain!

Days following the 22nd October, you mostly stayed locked up in your room while Mr Ijichi packed all of your husband's clothing and accessories.

Mr Ijichi isn't stupid, he knew it must be really hard for you that is why he tried his best to enter, collect the things and exit as quietly as he could.

'A whore? Why did you even say that you bitch. You really don't deserve ANYTHING in this world!', your days began with endless self loathing.

5th December, 2016

A lot happened in the month following the incident.

Most of your days were spent in self loathing because after your miscarriage at just 3 months, the doctor had declared that you're (uterus) not strong enough to carry a child.

These words are something a woman is most scared to ever hear in her life. And you were one of the unfortunates.

You had stopped taking your post miscarriage medications. You're mental health got worse as well due to continuous thoughts on how you acted up on impulses and ruined the only good thing you had. Days followed you couldn't even get the strength to get up from the bed every morning. Fading appetite lead to refusing food which further resulted to visible sunken cheeks.

The house staff didn't knew anything that took place during their week off and they had noticed changes around the household. From your behavior to the absence of the Head of the house. They were also worried for your health and didn't knew what to do.

The head of staff, Mr Kawaguchi, decided to make a call to the Master of the house since it is normal for him to be absent from the house due to his work.

Kawaguchi- Good morning Satoru sama. This is Kawaguchi from the house.

Gojo (a little annoyed)- I'm busy, call me later.

Kawaguchi- Sir actually there's a grave problem at the house.

Gojo (mockingly)- what? Did someone die or something? This better be important-

Kawaguchi- sir its Y/n sama. Y/n sama is not in good health.

Gojo (worried)- w- what?! What're you stupids doing? What happened to y/n? Is she okay? What did the doctors say?

Kawaguchi- uh about that sir... y/n sama didn't let us into her room and actually we had to... (nervously looks back at the the other staff, everyone nods)

Gojo- huh?

Kawaguchi- sir, we had to break into y/n sama's room. We have called the doctors and they'll-

Gojo- break into the room!? What is hap- Nevermind, I'm sending someone. You lot stay there and look after y/n till the docs arrive!

Kawaguchi- y- yes sir!

Gojo was now left worried at what the hell did he just hear on the call. 'What are you upto now y/n'. Is this some trick to bring him back out of pity and pretend nothing happened? That you, a month ago, didn't just randomly demand for a Divorce.

He was really annoyed and even if he wanted to go to the house he couldn't due to being out abroad for missions. He has been busy with overseas missions mostly after the separation.

He decided to send Shoko for a look and to inform him 'EVERY SINGLE DETAIL', verbatim.

Shoko was sitting at the morgue, smoking, when she received a call from Gojo.

'Ha? Gojo? At this hour?', she wondered.

"Yea?", Shoko said with her usual nonchalant voice.

"I need a favor"

Gojo explained her the situation to which she agreed without hesitant, knowing what has been going on between you two and now this.

When she arrived at the Gojo Estate, she was welcomed by the worried faces of the staff that guided her to your room.

She started observing every detail. She saw the entrance door, broken. The inside of the master bedroom, dim, even with long sliding doors facing the beautiful and bright gardens. There were half eaten bowls of food. A trolley with clothes overflowing.

Shoko turned to looked at you and felt her heart wrench a little at the sight of you. She was horrified and worried. She is usually a very calm and relaxed person but you, you really made her loose her calm.

She knows you and has seen you in your good days. In light yellow summer dress beside Gojo, all smiles to now? Like this. Dark circles umder eyes and slight sunken cheeks, chipped lips and several medications.... wait what medications?

There were already a doctor present in the room who declared that its just dehydration and that it'll be okay with a few medicines.

The servants thanked the doctor and ordered the medicines.

Meanwhile, Shoko was already in a shock. The medicines piled up beside you on the bed and the bedside table were... post miscarriage pills. She enquired the whole situation from the staff.

All while, the two women staff got you up in the bed and gave you water.

Eyes half open, you recognised what was happening. You passed out of dehydration and couldn't hear the knocks of the servants outside for breakfast. They were worried and tried the other doors, through the garden, but they were locked. So they broke the entrance and found still in the bed with pills surrounding you. They all got worried and one called the doctor and the head called Gojo.

Shoko noticed you were up and ordered the ladies to open the curtains and windows and leave her for a while. Afterall she's got some questioning to do in Gojo's behalf.

She extended her hand to hold your left hand. It seemed cold to touch. "Hello y/n. Remember me?"

You struggled to open your eyes and look.

"Don't worry i won't ask you how you're doing", she joked.

"But i will ask about the medications y/n. Do not lie. I'm a doctor too", Shoko knew now is not the time but she also knew that if you were pregnant then why didn't you tell Gojo because he obviously didn't know.

Your ears started ringing. And eyes welled up. You were reminded of it again. You wanted to just lay back down and bury yourself in the warmth of the blankets.

But the cat was out of the bag. Shoko is a doctor. She knows medicines. You cannot lie. You cannot hide. You have to be strong, you have to show her that everything is okay and Satoru needn't be worried, not like as if he is anyway.

"Please.", you mumbled, she had leaned in and caressed your knuckles. "Shoko, do not let anyone know of this, i beg of you."

"Shhh", she shushed you, "Don't say that. I won't. I promise"

She continued, "... but what about Satoru? You can't hide it from him. The child was his as much as it was yours-"

You cut her in, "Shoko i wanted to tell him! I wanted him and only HIM to be the first to get the news of the...", you struggled but continued, "...of the pregnancy. I got to know myself in the 2nd month and he was coming back home just next month, it was all perfectly going... until it wasn't".

Shoko was visibly upset. She didn't knew what to say. All she was aware of was the things Gojo told her...

He went home with gifts and souvenirs for you, you gave him divorce papers, he tried convince you not to, you weren't ready to listen, you said some hurtful things, he realised his place and agreed for separation over divorce.

Looking at you she can tell you would breakdown any moment.

And she was right.

You did.

You broke down in tears.

Hyperventilating you mumbled, "Shoko they said i can't have children! Can you believe that! I can't have kids! And I'm so stupid i brought out a f-fucking Divorce paper when Satoru came home."

"He was so angry with me i could feel it even if he wasn't! I'm stuck Shoko! I-i just - just want to go hide under a rock or maybe i should just kill mys-"

Shoko pulled you in for a hug. "Ah! Thats enough. That's enough. Shush now. Its okay."

"I won't tell Satoru, don't worry"

Series masterlist

Tags:

@autumn-slaves @wondermilka @hh0pe @chayunwoo @Enaaneaen @sweet-almonds @sindela @dazai-gojo-kinnie @whats-humanity-lol @thewickedofrizz @phantasmia @ghostllyyz @yihona-san06 @aesonsgirl @direwolf-5 @fairyyxsp @puroganggang @altyx @dianagracesworld @hermitkerm @leonesimp @minnerra @whitelittlebunny @letharue

[qkmlh]

Y’ALL MEET STAR AND STRIPE AKA AMERICA’S NO. 1 HERO WHO WAS MENTORED BY ALL MIGHT

[baited-beth]

How I realised the world was mad

Back in 2018 I attended London Pride. I'm not LGB or T, but my friend, let's call her Katie, invited me to join her group. The group consisted of:

three female university friends;

her childhood female friend, who we'll call Alex, who had recently come out as trans; and

Alex's boyfriend.

I'd known Katie since I was 11, so I'd met Alex a few times over the years, but I'd only met her university friends once and wasn't that familiar with them. Katie and Alex were both running late, so I arrived and met with Katie's uni friends. While we were waiting for the others, the parade started.

Now for those who don't know, London Pride 2018 made headlines after a Lesbian feminist group called Get the L Out pushed their way to the front of the parade. This was in protest of the LGBT community's support for trans women who are attracted to natal women classing themselves as lesbians, as this reclassified sexual attraction as being based on gender identity rather than sex.

Everyone in the crowd started booing and jeering. Katie's friends seemed incredibly offended and spoke passionately about how awful it was that these 'TERFs' had seen fit to push their way into such an inclusive event with their bigoted message. I knew nothing. I had never been exposed to this debate before and, in truth, knew little about trans people. However I didn't want to seem uneducated on what seemed to be such an important issue, or to say anything upsetting when Alex arrived, so I listened intently and nodded rather than ask questions.

When I went to see my parents a few days later and mentioned the incident, I was shocked when my mum's reaction to Get the L Out was "good for them!" I had never considered my mum to be capable of bigotry, but here it was coming right out of her mouth. Did she not understand that trans people couldn't help being trans? That they'd been born in the wrong body? We both silently agreed not to speak on the subject because we didn't want to lose each other. But the fact she had been so opposed niggled me. It was the first inkling that I shouldn't blindly agree with the attitudes I'd witnessed at Pride.

Maybe 18 months later I finally took up my mum's suggestion that I read Invisible Women by Caroline Criado-Perez. The book covers how the gap in sex disaggregated data has massive impact on equality for women. It was a revelation. The issues covered seemed so obvious, but also I'd never thought about them. It's just how things were. Women are more likely to die in a car crash? That's because crash test dummies are modeled on the average man. Women in refugee camps have UTIs and any number of seriously dangerous infections? The toilet and washing provisions are gender neutral and they're at high risk of being raped, so they avoid them.

But all around me the message was that sex didn't matter and we should scrap it for gender identity. It just didn't add up. And not only did it not add up, I didn't feel like I could talk to anyone about it without being dismissed as a right wing bigot, even though it was just questions.

What solidified my thoughts was a going to see Caroline Criado-Perez (and her dog) and Helen Lewis talk at an event. Helen Lewis had recently written 'Difficult Women', a book which looks at 11 women who were instrumental to feminism, but who were also very flawed. It was another revelation. Here was someone talking about how humans are multifaceted and how they grow and develop their beliefs. Something someone believes aged 20 is not what they might believe at 30. It cemented my belief in getting views from across the board and not judging someone's entire character and contribution to society on the basis on one tweet.

The next day I told a grad I was mentoring at work about the talk and how interesting it was. Her reaction was "but isn't Helen Lewis a TERF?" This question proved to me the point of what Helen has been speaking about. She's been branded a TERF, a derogatory slur used to silence women, simply for stating that she thinks single sex spaces are important. The use of that word immediately vilifies her and tells people who haven't even read her work that they shouldn't trust her on any subject because she's morally corrupt. Which is idiotic. And exactly what had happened to Get the L Out at Pride. No-one thought to sit down and consider their argument before making a judgment - they just branded them as evil and passed the word on.

So long story short, I got caught up by the mob mentality but then did some reading, realised the importance of biology and difference of opinion, and jumped off the gender ideology bandwagon. And now I'm writing about it here.

[ur-favorite-queer-queen]

Protect

For Maribat March day 18 theme protect 

Master List 

“DEAREST BIG BROTHER! I’M HOME!” A female shout came from the foyer of the manor. 

Dick, Jason, Tim, Babs, Steph, and Cass were hanging out in one of the many rooms the manor held. Alfred had just walked in with a tray of drinks but froze at the sound of the voice.

“THE HECK!” Was shouted by the same voice followed by Damian’s voice shouting, 

“WHO ARE YOU!?!?! HOW DID YOU GET IN!?!?!” 

Alfred was out of the room in an instant. He was not sprinting but he might as well be with how fast he was walking. The batkids immediately followed after him. 

They walked in on a sight none of them will ever forget. Literally, Jason had taken a picture. A strange woman who looked like a female, miniature version of Bruce had Damian’s precious katana and seemed to be taunting him with it. 

“Miss Marinette!” Alfred called and got both the woman’s and Damian’s attention. 

“Alfred!” The woman replied, running over and giving him a hug, katana still in her hand. 

“Wait, Aunt Nettie?” Dick spoke up, walking over to the pair. 

“Little Wing! Wow, you got so much bigger since the last time I saw you.” She responded, giving him a hug. 

“Wait, wait, your Aunt Nettie?” Jason asked, crossing his arms. 

“Aww, Little Blue Jay, you don’t remember me?” She shot back, crossing her arms as well. 

“Blue Jay, why is that familiar?” Jason muttered to himself, not quietly enough since everyone heard him. 

“Aunt Nettie, you only visited once when he was here.” Dick reminded her. 

“Oh, well that will explain that. Also how many more kids did Bruce adopt? I thought it was only the 2 of you, the Drake kid, and his bio kid.” She questioned, motioning to each child she remembered. 

“The only other kid he adopted is Cass, Steph and Babs are family friends.” Dick clarified. 

“Babs, the first Batgirl correct?” She asked, turning to the girl in question. Everyone froze at that, this girl who was apparently Bruce’s sister knew who they were.

“It’s fine guys, she’s known since the beginning of his time as Batman.” Dick assured. 

“Yep, speaking of my big brother, where is he?” 

“Master Bruce is currently at a WE meeting, but he will be back in time for dinner.” Alfred answered for her. 

“How come father never told us about you?” Damian voiced, glaring at her and looking like he wanted to attack her again. Probably because she still had his katana. 

“I rarely visit nowadays and he’s probably still upset after last time.” Marinette smirked, like she had won some sort of battle. Noticing she still had his katana, she handed the blade back to Damian. 

“Last time?” Tim hesitantly echoed. 

“How about Miss Marinette shares the story in the living room? I can bring snacks.” Alfred offered, Marinette looked like she was about to say something but Alfred beat her to it, “You bond with your nieces and nephews, I will be fine.” 

“Come on Marinette! You can tell them about how you helped train Bruce! Oh did you bring any kwamis with you?” Dick rambled, pulling Marinette with him into the room they were hanging out in before her appearance. 

Once they were all seated Tim started the conversation, “So I’m not hallucinating, you are actually Bruce’s sister.” 

“Yes, Bruce is 3 years older than me. I know that he is Batman and you guys are the bats and the birds.” She calmly responded. 

“What did Dick mean by you helped train Bruce? And what is a Kwami?” Babs continued. 

“Kwami are basically magical beings, kinda like gods, that are bound to jewels called miraculous. Since I’m the guardian I protect these jewels. I trained Bruce by helping my old mentor from Tibet train him.” Marinette explained. 

“What happened last time? And why don’t you visit often?” Damian asked, carefully hidden curiosity in his eyes. 

“Back in my first year of highschool, Bruce was very protective of me. Like very protective. No boy he didn’t approve of, which meant I could never talk to a single boy, could get within 10 feet of me without him present. Asking me out, out of the question. Pretty sure this one guy, Adam, wanted to ask me out but Bruce interrupted before he could. I never talked to him again after that. I got pretty tired of it so I signed up for the foreign exchange program and went to school in Paris.” 

“Wait,” Steph interrupted, “Bruce was an overprotective brother?” 

“One of the worst kinds. I’m sure if our parents were still alive he might’ve been worse than my dad.”

“What importance does this have to the questions?” Damian sneered, annoyed that he wasn’t getting any answers. 

“Hold on I’m getting there. So anyways it was in my sophomore year of highschool at Paris that a supervillain attacked. He called himself Hawkmoth, he used the butterfly miraculous to transform people into his puppets by using their emotions against them. I didn’t think much of it since it didn’t concern me, my host family agreed thinking it wouldn’t last long. But when I got to my room there was a little box sitting on my desk and that’s where I found the ladybug miraculous. The most powerful miraculous besides the cat miraculous. I told Bruce, he wasn’t too happy about it, but there wasn’t much he could do. So much happened in that amount of time that I don’t think I could summarize it all before Bruce gets back but just know that in that span of time I met the current guardian. Hawkmoth gained an ally who used the peacock miraculous, Mayura. Also a miraculous that could manipulate emotions. 

After I and my partner had defeated Hawkmoth and Mayura, sometime during my senior year, we revealed our identities, dated for a few months before I ended things. Then I went back home and Bruce was getting ready to go on his soul-searching journey to be trained by masters or whatever and I suggested he be trained by my mentor who was in Tibet. I went with him, we trained for a couple of months before he left. I decided to stay in Tibet to train to become the next guardian. Eventually my mentor died and gave me guardianship. 

Then I returned to Gotham and Bruce had adopted Little Wing over there. So I stayed here for a while before I decided to go around the world doing guardian things. Bruce didn’t like the idea but there wasn’t much he could do. I ended up catching up with an old friend of mine on one of my travels and we started dating before I came back here. That’s when I met Little Blue Jay for the first and last time.

Before you guys had gone on patrol I tried to ask Bruce to give my boyfriend a chance but he didn’t agree. I’ve always been his little sister in his eyes, I think he couldn’t handle the fact I had grown up. Nasty words were exchanged between us and I haven’t returned since. In the end me and him didn’t work out but I couldn’t bring myself to return, until now at least.” 

“Why now?” Damian immediately pressed once she finished her explanation. 

“Dusuu was missing Alfred. It has been like a decade or something.” She remarked, pulling out a peacock shaped brooch. 

“Didn’t you say that the peacock miraculous was evil?” Cass signed, raising an eyebrow at the brooch. 

“No, I said it was used for evil. The miraculous are technically neutral, can be used for good or evil. Depends on who is wielding them.” Marinette bit back, as a flash of light emitted from the brooch. Suddenly a small floating peacock creature stood in front of Marinette. 

“Is that a kwami?” Steph asked. 

“Yes, this is Dusuu, the peacock kwami of emotions.”

“Hello! It’s so nice to meet you!” Dusuu chirped, “Where’s Alfred?” 

“I am right here Dusuu. It is lovely to see you again.” Alfred spoke from the doorway, holding a tray of snacks and drinks. 

“Alfred!” Dusuu cheered before flying over and hugging the older man. 

“In all honesty Bruce doesn’t sound like the best brother.” Jason pointed out. 

“I know it may seem like he’s a shitty brother, and at the time I totally thought he was and still is, but I know where he’s coming from. Bruce was always the more reserved and protective out of the 2 of us even before what happened to our parents. I think our parents' death solidified his need to protect me from anything and anyone. And we all know how horrible Bruce is at showing his emotions so I know his heart was in the right place. Plus, we’ve had years to cool off, I’m sure we can have a mature conversation now.” Marinette explained, a fond smile gracing her lips. 

Faintly in the distance they heard Alfred say, “Welcome home, Master Bruce.” 

“That’s my cue!” Marinette said before bolting off in the direction of the foyer. 

“Alfred something’s off, what are you not telling me?” The second those words left his mouth a weight connected with his back, arms wrapped around his neck and a familiar, 

“HEY BIG BRO!” Was registered by his ears. 

The weight slipped off his back and as he turned around he was met with the familiar sight of his little sister. “Marinette.” 

“Bruce.”

“You’re here.” 

“I am.” 

“I thought-”

“That I was mad at you.”

“You didn’t visit for 10 years.” 

“Life got busy.” 

They stood in silence for a minute. 

“I missed you.” Marinette whispered, so much different from the girl that was telling them a brief summary of her life. She seemed so much more vulnerable uttering those words than when she had revealed why she hadn’t come back in the first place. 

Turns out that was the straw that broke the camel’s back as Bruce wrapped Marinette in a hug as tears slipped from his eyes. They could hear him whispering over and over again, “I’m sorry. I’m sorry for what I did all those years ago.” 

It was weird for them all to see, including Dick who knew how much Marinette meant to Bruce. Bruce kept his emotions so closed up, master of the stoic face, but here he was breaking down in front of the all. Here he was crying and apologizing. 

“I believe we should leave them alone for now.” Alfred spoke up heading for the dining room. They followed. Later Bruce and Marinette would join them, a little red-eyed with their cheeks tear-stained, but small smiles on their faces. 

It was then that all the batkids knew that they would be seeing this ‘Aunt Nettie’ much more often. 

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Look at that, I’m super late again! Nothing new, I think day 14 was a one time thing unfortunately. 

I’ve seen a ton of fics where Marinette was Bruce’s older sister but what about where she’s his younger sister? Bruce would so be an overprotective older brother. 

I hoped you enjoyed this! I’m planning on making a part 2 of this for ‘contest’. So stay tuned!

@maribatmarch-2k21 

[greenhappyseed]

BnHA Ch.319 (“The one with the Class 1-A reunion") - Parallels and comparisons

Fun fact: This chapter is called “Friend” because Ch.258 is already called “Friends.” That chapter is mostly about Hawks and Twice, and features Twice’s famous line, “Anyone who helps his friends can’t be all bad.”

SO MANY THINGS I LOVED ABOUT THIS CHAPTER!!!! At the outset, this chapter helps solidify the timeline and clarify that the whole arc takes only 1-2 weeks post-war. The pacing may have been weird to us as readers, but in-universe everything happened VERY fast.

I’m really enjoying Iida being the instigator here, prodding Bakugo, Todoroki, and Tokoyami. Iida’s been sidelined for a while and it’s nice to remember he can be a hothead. It’s weird though that Bakugo has Best Jeanist’s number and not All Might’s?? Maybe Bakugo’s just too angry at All Might to call him? You'd think that if Bakugo was trustworthy with OFA that he'd get access to the secure line.

Yep, Iida won’t back down from Endeavor or Deku either. Deku tries to throw down and Iida’s just, “Same shit, different day, huh?” even though Deku looks absolutely monstrous. (Seriously, Deku is making unprovoked threats against his classmates…) I think Iida is essential here because he has previously knocked sense into a stubborn Izuku: https://greenhappyseed.tumblr.com/post/656261027414048768/threatening-taunting-and-worrying-wont-reach

I LOVE Ochako stepping up and escalating through the UA bureaucracy. Also, it’s cool to see her show some aggression and fighting spirit. Even Shoto is taken aback when she stands up and smacks the sofa.

Now for the big guns… Bakugo is 100% right that he knows Deku and the Deku/All Might relationship better than anyone. And bless Bakugo’s iron will for speaking truth to power before his school’s principal and the #1 hero who is also his former boss/mentor, his friend’s father, and the guy who All Might compares him to. But, as always in MHA, we see a hero’s knowledge is incomplete because heroes don’t freaking talk to each other about stuff that matters.

Crucially, Bakugo doesn’t know about Nighteye’s impact on Deku and All Might. He doesn’t know that All Might wanted Deku to stay at UA or that All Might was trying to get Deku to take care of himself, despite assassins and explosions targeting them both. Bakugo also doesn’t know about the vestige battle with AFO/Shigaraki or the post-war vestige conversations. Bakugo doesn’t know that Deku wants to save Shigaraki, that Deku is likely the last OFA holder due to his quirklessness, or that Second is telling Deku that inaction is not an option. Perhaps, if Endeavor couldn’t take a good look at himself and understand the burden of #1 until “All Might” became a walking skeleton, Bakugo won’t be able to fully understand OFA and Deku’s journey until he sees Deku become a shadow of what he was (maybe acting unheroically?) That said, Bakugo is drawn in 319 with his posture like All Might in 309.

Speaking of not knowing things, Endeavor doesn’t tell the class that Deku ditched All Might. It’s not clear why he starts to say “But…” and then stops, because during this arc he’s very communicative with Hawks, Jeanist, and the Lurkers. Did he realize, like All Might did in Ch.309, that he can’t physically stop Deku? Does he feel the same power gulf with Deku that he felt with All Might, now that he and Hawks are too slow for Deku??? Or is he an elitist prick who doesn’t respect the kids as heroes in their own right (including his own SON!!!). Whatever the reason, Endeavor doesn’t use his words or help connect the class with Deku, Jeanist, Hawks, or All Might. No, he tosses his phone so the class can track Deku on their own. So much for “maturing” and passing the torch with grace.

I feel REALLY bad for Shoto here. Both his parents betrayed him and hurt him, and now at his family’s lowest point, Shoto finds his best friend is not just gone, but that the trust didn’t go both ways. To make matters worse, his dad is breaking his promise to Shoto (the one that's supposed to be a step towards atonement) for the purpose of enabling Deku’s betrayal, with the implication that Shoto isn’t strong enough to handle what’s “out there.” Endeavor will strike his son, but won't let him fight using his own well-honed powers??? Ugh. Shoto is saying “us” in the left hand panel below, but it’s clear that Deku’s actions and Endeavor’s focus on Deku weighs heavily on Shoto. I’m so glad that in this chapter we see Bakugo, Iida, Ochako, and Momo with him. Shoto needs a break and some time with friends as much as Deku.

I love Nezu cutting off Endeavor multiple times, followed by his own endorsement of the kids’ mission. It’s sweet that Nezu wants to protect BOTH All Might and Deku — we know Nezu loves the school but I don’t think we’ve seen him so paternal before. (I’m glad someone is looking out for All Might too, since the pro heroes aren’t.) I also like Nezu echoing the theme of reassurance. Physical safety, in a situation like this, is only one part of “saving.” That said, I’m still not convinced the UA barrier will actually keep out the villains who broke into Tartarus. (Of course, it’s possible Nezu is the traitor and he’s manipulating the kids into bringing Deku & All Might to UA, but I’m gonna enjoy this moment for now….)

MASK SYMBOLISM ALERT. Deku saying, “I’m fine, don’t worry,” while putting his mask on, right after Bakugo completed the rescue maskless. Ochako saying she’s worried with her rose-colored mask/shield off, just like her big war moment (but this time, the light is in her eyes).

Love these kids supporting each other (or, in the case of Bakugo, shoving Shoto before Shoto fights Endeavor, and taking over the direct confrontation of Endeavor). Also, despite Endeavor’s worries, it’s his son and Momo that captured the villain after Bakugo (his intern) immobilized the villain. Endeavor should know that this class can definitely handle Tartarus escapees.

Now, a few loose AFOs ends:

Bakugo’s tie. While this is very un-like him, I agree with others who have said it represents him trying to look and act like part of the team, rather than the punk on the fringes. It also ties him (haha!) to Best Jeanist, who was always trying to fix Bakugo’s image. I don’t think the tie is a sign of any AFO manipulation…

But then again, Bakugo’s clapping and taunting Deku about smiling in Kamino IS reminiscent of AFO’s actions in Kamino. AFO and Bakugo certainly do tend to circle near each other in the narrative.

Also, Iida says 1A won't be able to smile while their friend walks a “thorny path,” but that was the language AFO used in the mansion message. What happens when Deku hears his friends use the same words as AFO?

At a meta level, why are we seeing signs of AFO when we're purely on the hero side of things? I can think of three possibilities: First, it's foreshadowing, plain and simple. We're seeing bits of AFO "invade" the class to set up for his eventual attack. Second, it's some kind of mind control or illusion so Deku isn't seeing what's really there. Third is that it's Horikoshi's way of reminding us, as readers, that the heroes and villains are two sides of the same coin. They think the same way, they speak the same way, and, to AFO's point, are therefore fairly predictable despite having free will.

[shihalyfie]

The relationships between the Adventure group and the 02 group

As much as it would sound romantic to group the older Adventure six and the younger 02 juniors into one huge “group of twelve” all of the time, it’s undeniable that there’s a boundary between them, especially since there’s a different internal dynamic within each group as well -- of course, for important events or incidents like Diablomon Strikes Back, they’re capable of getting together as a whole, and they hand off information and call on each other freely for support over the course of 02, but once we start getting into “social life relationships”, things get a bit more complicated. Overall, we all know that the juniors adore and respect their seniors, and the seniors are happy to mentor and support their juniors, but the way each of the older Adventure six approaches the younger kids has an interesting variance from person to person!

Overall

The other sections of this post deal with how each of the “02 quartet” (Daisuke, Miyako, Iori, and Ken, or in other words the four Tokyo Chosen Children introduced in 02) interacts with individual seniors, but in general it should be established that each of the Adventure and 02 groups is always comfortable calling in the other for backup or assistance if necessary. This is especially accentuated in 02 episode 46 (when Daisuke ropes Taichi and the others into helping them do a full-on stakeout of the Dark Seed kids all over Tokyo, which is a lot of work), and Diablomon Strikes Back (when the initial mission was very obviously intended to have the older kids at the forefront and the younger ones as backup, before things went south).

It’s also indicated multiple times over the course of 02 that “sharing information” is a huge priority for everyone, especially with the D-Terminals in play that allow people to keep people in the loop about what’s going on, so that backup can be called in at any time -- see how quickly information passes from the juniors to the seniors during the crisis in 02 episode 7, or how Takeru and Hikari constantly keep each other posted on the situation and their whereabouts in the first half of Hurricane Touchdown. (This is especially when you keep in mind the real-life context that, in 2000, it wasn’t common yet for the average elementary school student to have a cell phone, so 02 deliberately inserted the D-Terminals into the lore so that this kind of communication could be possible, further tying into the overall franchise theme of the impact of technology on society.) There is no issue in 02 that’s caused by lack of communication (at least, unless it involves someone being emotionally unable to communicate), because of how quickly, easily, and constantly everyone is kept in the loop.

Each group is a valuable resource for backup in any situation, and both groups have a clear and obvious sentiment of “wanting to help as much as they can” and “not wanting to be useless”; the Adventure seniors constantly express frustration over the course of the first half of 02 that they can’t do more, and do their best to provide as much support as they can within the restraints of the situation. Once evolutionary restrictions are lifted in the final quarter of the series and everyone goes on winter break, the older Adventure seniors start making a significantly larger number of appearances and directly getting involved without even needing to be asked; since everyone clearly wants to help each other out, there's no reason to refrain from seeking all of the help one can get. By the time of Kizuna, Daisuke (and, if the storyboards are to be believed, Ken too) is still on Koushirou’s call list even if he’s not present for that single incident, and Yamato loops them in to help scout on Menoa in New York since they’re in the right place in the right time.

This is especially in the case of Koushirou, the team’s resident analyst, who can only do his analyses if he has all of the information he can possibly get; since the 02 kids can do certain things that he or the others can’t, he often asks them to do favors for him or provide him with info (such as borrowing Miyako’s D-3 in 02 episode 4, or having Daisuke test out opening a gate at the Yagami residence in 02 episode 17, or picking Ken’s brain in 02 episode 33) so that he has more to work with. It is generally advantageous for Koushirou to get as much as he can on the table and make use of, and since he has an important role in 02 as a personnel manager and team organizer, it’s in his best interest to use the 02 group as guinea pigs make extensive use of their own abilities, as much as he can.

With Daisuke

Daisuke is a very deferential person in general, so him treating his elders with utmost respect and deferring to them is kind of like saying water is wet, but there are some relationships in particular that stand out!

Daisuke being Taichi’s soccer junior and “inheritor” of both his Crest of Courage and his goggles is of course one of the most iconic and well-known parts of 02, but it’s interesting to see how Taichi treats Daisuke in return. While it’s unclear if Taichi knew him as anything but yet another of his soccer juniors prior to the events of 02, there’s a lot to be said about how Taichi hands over his goggles without hesitation -- as much as we as the audience associate this with “leadership”, the 02 group doesn’t actually have a leader from an in-story perspective, and, in-universe, Taichi gave him his own goggles on account of the fact that Daisuke was a “new Chosen Child”...and also the fact Daisuke had just broken his own and he presumably felt bad for him. (How much Taichi was consciously aware that Daisuke was doing it specifically to imitate him will be left to your imagination, because Daisuke never actually vocalizes this to his face.)

That’s a pretty big deal of a thing to do, given that even if you don’t necessarily believe there’s a huge sentimental backstory behind those goggles, Taichi took off an item he’d been wearing for at least seven years and just handed them over! So in other words, Taichi really did believe in Daisuke’s potential enough to entrust him with something this important.

We also see Taichi come to watch Daisuke’s game against the Tamachi team in 02 episode 8, and it should be pointed out that Taichi, being from Odaiba Middle School, had no practical reason to be at this game -- as far as the kids knew at the time, Ken had no connection to any of the Digital World incidents, and it was just a game that they all attended to give Daisuke their moral support, and so Taichi was mainly just here to watch how his junior would do in such an important match and give him advice. (Although, as Daisuke points out later in the episode, he’s pretty strict, too.)

Eight years later in Kizuna, in a scene where it’s established that Taichi is drifting enough from of the others to the point Yamato has to update him on them (Sora and Takeru), Taichi still seems to be roughly aware of what’s going on with Daisuke, despite neither of them playing soccer anymore -- and, of course, Daisuke seems to have always had utmost faith in him. (Also, Daisuke seems to have returned the goggles; we’ll leave to the imagination what might have led to that.)

Some interesting history about Daisuke’s relationship with the soccer club members: as per 02 episode 2, he was already at least roughly acquainted with Sora prior to her switching her sport to tennis, and, if the Adventure novels are to be believed, he was apparently already a member at the time of Adventure in 1999 (likely as an “unofficial member”, given that he would have been too young to formally enroll in it until Taichi had already graduated). If this is true, this would make him likely to be roughly acquainted with Koushirou as well. He was, at the very least, also around to overhear Taichi discussing the Digimon (although we don’t actually have all that much evidence that anyone was working that hard to keep it a secret).

According to Spring 2003, Daisuke is said to have picked up his goggles in imitation of “the person wearing goggles” whom he witnessed from afar during the Odaiba fog incident three years prior, not necessarily Taichi as his soccer club senior -- meaning that he may not have immediately recognized that they were the same person (although that certainly begs the question of how many people in Odaiba wear goggles; given that Daisuke seemed to just have a pair lying around at home, perhaps this is a normal fashion statement?). Taichi is portrayed as being much better at soccer than Daisuke is (Taichi was already a soccer captain in his fifth year while Daisuke didn’t even become a regular until his sixth), and so learning that they’re the same person at some point presumably solidified Daisuke’s personal image of Taichi as an absolutely incredible senior to look up to.

Daisuke infamously starts off on a bad note with Yamato in 02 episode 4 -- he insults an older sibling, something Yamato takes very personally, and it’s a bad mix of Daisuke’s abrasive demeanor and Yamato’s emotional passion -- but by the time of 02 episode 11, it all seems to be water under the bridge as Yamato treats Daisuke very endearingly after watching the process of him earning the Digimental of Friendship. (While it’s not stated in words, one might imagine that Yamato also became a lot more forgiving of Daisuke not being very respectful of Jun after personally witnessing how much of a handful she could be in 02 episode 7.) And, as Daisuke’s technically the inheritor of his Crest of Friendship, it’s interesting to point out that Daisuke arguably shares as many of Yamato’s personality traits as Taichi; he’s an intensely emotional person (far more so than Taichi is), and has somewhat of an awkward way of expressing himself.

Yamato is also the Adventure group member who maintains contact with the 02 quartet over the course of Kizuna, and with Daisuke as the main representative calling back, he naturally goes straight into “happy puppy mode” the moment one of his seniors calls to ask him a favor. The novel refers to the 02 group as “reliable juniors they can count on” (which we can imagine reflects Yamato’s mindset at this point), and he also makes sure to check on whether the 02 group hasn’t also been subject to the ring of light issue, out of curiosity but also worry.

While it’s less immediately apparent, Daisuke also forms a recurring relationship with Mimi. Interestingly, most of their interactions have to do with Mimi’s location in the US, with Mimi teasing him in an email in Hurricane Touchdown and inviting him to come over, Daisuke helping Mimi and Michael out in 02 episode 40, and Mimi getting a lot of mileage and fun out of teasing him in The Door to Summer (this trip is implied to at least partially have been planned with meeting Mimi in mind; perhaps Daisuke was following up on that email one year prior). All of this happening with no translator; one might say that Daisuke seems to be good at befriending Americans in New York, which is interesting when you consider that his English is implied to be reasonably good, and the fact he eventually opens his ramen shop in New York...

Both he and Mimi are pretty like-minded overall, being very pure-hearted people who love supporting others and are never condescending or consciously rude to others, so it’s easy to see why they’d get along.

With Miyako

Rather famously, Koushirou was Miyako’s computer club senior prior to the events of 02, and she still looks up to him and adores him (she even goes out of her way to bring souvenir yatsuhashi from Kyoto for him in 02 episode 34). Koushirou’s handling of her is rather professional -- he calls her “Miyako-kun” -- but this is, in general, more of a symptom of the fact that Koushirou isn’t exactly the kind of person who shows open affection for anyone, and he’s still dealing with the fact that he used to compulsively push people away, so being able to talk to anyone neutrally like this is already kind of a big step.

This is especially because he’s got a pretty huge investment in the kids in general -- he’s one of the most visible of the seniors in 02, and while part of it is also because of his specialty in computers and his inquisitive personality driving him to take a very direct role in things, he also rails at the kids in worry in 02 episode 7 and continues to support the kids with actual support, providing them things they might find helpful or useful. So, in effect, it’s just that Koushirou has his own ways of showing support for his juniors, especially since his character arc has heavily to do with developing a skill in coordinating others.

Miyako continues working in the computer club under Koushirou even after entering middle school, and, eight years later in Kizuna, it seems that Koushirou is actively maintaining contact with Miyako (in the opening, he’s the one directly shown initiating contact via email), since she’s personally helping him with Chosen Child community management. There’s no computer club anymore and the group isn’t necessarily working as a cohesive group all of the time either, so this is something they’re actively involved in together...and Miyako is clearly comfortable enough to dump work that she doesn’t want to do on him. (He doesn’t seem to mind that much.)

Miyako first meets Mimi in 02 episode 6 and immediately latches onto her without hesitation, to the point of fantasizing about their relationship and labeling her “Mimi-oneesama” (big sister Mimi) thereafter. (Note that she only does this when it’s a very casual or playful situation, since 02 episode 14 later establishes that she’ll go back to the usual “Mimi-san” when things get more serious or her mood is worse.) Mimi answers to Miyako’s affection easily, given their similar temperaments, and they get along swimmingly.

We get a little more insight as to Miyako’s feelings on Mimi in 02 episode 14, where Miyako spends the duration of it negatively comparing her own behavior and personality to Mimi's kinder and more mature way of handling things, implying that she sees Mimi as an example to follow that she sees herself as not sufficiently reaching. Notably, in 02 episode 25, when Mimi takes charge and uses Miyako’s D-Terminal to request Ken’s help, Miyako doesn’t protest at all; it of course wasn’t helped by the fact Miyako herself was tussling with mixed feelings on Ken, but it’s worth pointing out that, after all of the vehement verbal arguing about the issue, Miyako respects Mimi’s decision enough to not protest.

Miyako also bonds a bit with Sora, both during her initial process of receiving her first Digimental in 02 episode 2, and during them working together in 02 episode 42. Miyako doesn’t seem to put her on as much of a pedestal as Mimi, but still very much defers to and respects her stance, and Sora is happy to indulge around and bond with her (note how casually she carries herself around Miyako).

While we don’t see them interact much in the series proper, Miyako reveals in 02 episode 29 that she does sound engineering work for Yamato’s band (in conjunction with Koushirou), which she continues doing after entering middle school in Spring 2003 -- although it seems she’s having a hard time getting him (and everyone else) to embrace techno.

With Iori

Among the Adventure seniors, Iori’s most notable relationship is with Jou, which is pretty interesting on its face given that this is the largest possible age gap among any two from this group (Iori is 9, Jou 15). Yet the two are put together in major situations no less than three times -- 02 episodes 5, 16, and 41 -- and with the first two depicting Jou as having a major role in mentoring Iori, in regards to the importance of personal choice and responsibility in being a Chosen Child (02 episode 5), and the conflict between moral principles and practicality (02 episode 16). A lot of the gist of Jou’s and Iori’s character arcs and dispositions are quite similar -- Jou himself struggled with trying to adhere to arbitrary standards without regard to practicality back in Adventure, and it’s because of this that he can figure out Iori’s mentality and reach out to him in a way he understands. For Iori, being a polite and respectful person in general, it’s only natural to expect that he would take very well to Jou being an admirable and honest model citizen.

Iori also receives his initial Digimental consultation from Koushirou in 02 episode 3, and, like with how Daisuke and Miyako also have some degree of personality traits relevant to the characters they inherit their Crests from, Iori also has some characteristics that evoke Koushirou as well, most prominently his tendency towards politeness and deference (albeit for different reasons). While they don’t end up following similar paths for the rest of the series due to Koushirou’s “curiosity” being more about intellectual knowledge and Iori’s “curiosity” being more about human behavior and psychology, Koushirou does correctly identify Iori as having the potential for that kind of inquisitiveness in said episode long before the relevant character arc clearly sets in, allowing Iori to claim the Digimental of Knowledge.

With Ken

Due to the late position of when he’d joined the team and the even later position in which everyone came to like him, Ken isn’t shown necessarily bonding too deeply with many of the seniors, although it’s clear that they all came around for him in the end. That said, some of his limited interactions or interactions by proxy with the seniors end up fairly notable:

Ken has a long and extended chat with Koushirou in 02 episode 33, which is interesting because it’s a point in time when not even everyone in the 02 group itself was particularly receptive to him yet (at the time Hikari and Takeru were still maintaining silence on their stance on him, and Iori still ironing out a lot of complicated feelings about his presence). Yet Koushirou has no qualms whatsoever approaching him and picking his brain about what he knows, since Ken, as a hitherto unknown factor with a lot of background information that Koushirou could make extensive use of, has a lot to offer him. That said, he’s not just using Ken as a resource for intellectual purposes; Koushirou offers him emotional goodwill in his own way, hearing about how Oikawa had targeted Ken and even lamenting that it would have been better if the older kids had reached out to him first.

During 02 episode 25, Mimi makes an active bid to reach out to Ken when Golemon is about to destroy the dam, in the midst of everyone having an argument over whether to allow him to help (and not only that, she’s vehement about doing so). Recall that Mimi is forgiving to a fault, allowing herself to get beaten up by Digitamamon in 02 episode 14 and refusing to give up on him despite knowing he was actively brainwashed -- so it stands to reason that she’s actually one of the most receptive to Ken, even moreso than the more emotionally overwhelmed Miyako, and offering him a chance to join in (she’s never really been depicted as the type to hold grudges).

During Iori’s consultation of him in 02 episode 35, Yamato makes a remark regarding Ken pointing out that he and Takeru have technically gone through the same experience in witnessing the death of a partner, which means he’s actually willing to cast Ken in a sympathetic light at this point! Once Ken has integrated more smoothly with the others, Yamato and Ken work together in 02 episode 42, and they get along swimmingly with zero discomfort at all (not only that, Yamato’s dropped the honorific, going from 02 episode 35′s “Ichijouji-kun” to the more casual “Ichijouji”). Not bad!

[daryun]

Daryun and Alfreed

Daryun and Alfreed is a dynamic I have wanted to explore for a while. When I started reading (vintage) Naryun fanfic Alfreed was often portrayed awfully, when in fact canon (manga) Daryun is nothing but supportive of Alfreed all the way.

Since first meeting Alfreed in chapter 36, all of Daryun’s teasing is at Narsus’ expense. Teasing a person you only just met is really rude, but as a friend Narsus is the more fun target to see struggle with the situation. Daryun seemingly accepts Alfreed’s presence right away.

One of my favourite exchanges is Daryun giving Alfreed a sword no questions asked in chapter 37. It reveals a streak of his dark humour and in contrast to earlier, when Narsus (correctly) estimated that Alfreed could never take Hilmes in a fight and denied her a sword, this time Daryun just “gives” one to her. I love this confidence. 

1. She fights good 2. She wants to help Arslan. Daryun = approve

I have a headcanon that Alfreed was a great help capturing Rajendra in chapter 41 because Daryun’s track record so far of bringing people back alive on his own is not good.

Both Alfreed and Daryun hold Narsus dear and appreciate him in his element, even if the reactions are different (chapter 74). 

Daryun knows how devastating Narsus can be at his best/worst - depending what side you are on. There is also the chance that Daryun is going to have to face the enemy and the snide remarks if you don’t deliver the fresh enemy warlord he ordered.

Alfreed is smitten, but let’s remember that she decided to make Narsus her husband AFTER she saw him set a man on fire. Narsus is also rich, powerful, kind, and intelligent... From an in-story perspective, I cannot fault her. 

Regarding Narsus’ art, Daryun thinks it’s terrible with every fibre of his being. When describing Narsus to Arslan in the beginning (chapter 4), Daryun outright expresses his disdain, even when the job for Court Painter was laid on the table. Now that Narsus has the job offer, it wouldn’t do good to tell everyone you don’t like the future court painter’s work, undermining Narsus personally as well. The gag for the reader still stands, but Daryun’s attitude has shifted to more of a “you’ll find out when you find out” stance.

In Alfreed’s case, I imagine she’ll accept Narsus’ art unconditionally, based on chapter 44. “You truly know no fear, do you?” is funny because Daryun is admitting to mentally wearing a “ONE FEAR” T-shirt at all times. Even if it is only banter, it’s not something you would do with someone you didn’t like.

Likewise, you don’t laugh on account of people’s words if you don’t like them (chapter 54). Alfreed looks right through Jaswant and yes, she has cracked the code. I love Daryun laughing at this because it’s a huge leap from his initial “I don’t trust this man, Narsus” instinct.

Looking at Nakamura’s manga, I like these scenes:

In the ‘Fuujin Ranbu’ season of the anime (episode 8), Alfreed hides behind multiple people to get away from Merlain. In volume 10 of Nakamura’s manga Alfreed accidentally runs right into Daryun and then hides behind him. Clearly there is a level of trust here and no awkwardness to it at all. Daryun just wants to know what’s going on. [This scene already has it’s own post here.]

This might be one of the more important inter-character scenes in volume 11 because Daryun outright asks Narsus about his opinion on Alfreed, while Alfreed is helping out Etoile.

Daryun: “Alfreed is a good person (lit: child), isn’t she, Sir Tactician?”

Narsus: “Not once did I ever think she was a bad person”

Time and time again Alfreed has proven herself a good, kind, honest, and capable person. It’s easy to see Alfreed as just a hang on to Narsus, so this might have been a meta scene to highlight Alfreed as her own character, but this solidifies to me that there is no need to make Narsus or Daryun hate Alfreed in fanfic.

[The above page also has it’s own post.]

Finally, in Volume 13, it’s not particularly special, with Daryun just being a decent human being again, but Daryun catching Alfreed during a storm is cute. He’s so dependable. [Also own post here].

In conclusion: 

Daryun is a decent human being who does not look down on teenagers. This goes for Narsus, as well. It’s a low bar and no one is getting a medal for this, but them two mentoring younger people is one of my favourite things.

Teasing, joking, and laughing are all things you do with people you know and like, Alfreed is definitely a part of the team.

[petri808]

Request: TodoMomo; Momo comforting/trying to reassure Shouto after the whole Dabi reveal

Alrighty, I whipped this up before bed cause I almost forgot about it lol. But warning, since it’s based off a canon event (Dabis reveal) I stuck to canon personality as much as possible, so it comes off as more matter of fact (no crying or emotional outbursts, etc). Todoroki is portrayed as a more traditional Japanese male, even his dorm room’s aesthetic is based on it, so I keep to that view.

They were all extremely exhausted, physically broken and mentally drained by the time the battle had ended, but the Todoroki family suffered the brunt of psychological torture through this whole villain campaign. Several pro heroes were out of commission, including two of their best friends Izuku and Katsuki. The students did their best despite it all, to support their teachers and mentors, especially Aizawa.

The heat of battle had made the ramifications of Dabi’s reveal much easier to push aside at the time. Shouto knew he needed to act quickly with so many of the others stricken down in order to keep the league from gaining back any leverage. But in the still of the night, after the other student had gone to bed, Shouto fell to the demons of his past, and the brother he once mourned. He laid back on his bed with his arms behind his head, staring at the dark ceiling.

After the battle, he’d briefly confronted his father about Touya, because there was a part of him that blamed Enji for the man his brother had become. He knew from his own upbringing just how far the elder was willing to go in order to create his perfect child. They’d all become victims to Enji’s determination in one way or another. His mother Rei had a nervous break down. His siblings Natsuo and Fuyumi physically unscathed, but left emotionally behind. He himself was pushed to his limits, constantly begrudged by the man to exceed his expectations.

What was his older brother’s childhood like? Was it close to his own? Touya’s quirk had the potential to exceed Enji’s and that must have excited the elder male. Shouto could assume that Touya was probably pushed to the same extent as he’d been, and groomed on the same grandiose mentality that their father lived by. Could part of his brothers psychotic personality been created... by their father’s pressure, and warped into who they now knew as the villain Dabi?

No child should have gone through what any of them had. Rei didn’t deserve to be stuck in a loveless marriage just for her quirk. Psychological abuse can be worse than physical, especially on an already fragile or developing mind. Shouto realized he had been lucky in a way. Having his other siblings and mother around was just enough to protect him when he needed it the most from Enji. Touya never had that luxury. He was left in the hands of a tyrannical father and a weaker mother with no one else to run to. It was a recipe for disaster.

But that wasn’t what upset Shouto. He may not condone what his brother had become, but he could understand what may have driven him to it. No, what really pissed him off was fine, Touya wanted to hate their father, get in line. Touya wanted to be mad at him for being the golden child, pointless since he never asked to be born this way. But no one makes their mother suffer like that! Rei didn’t deserve anymore pain after spending years of what amounted to a domestic violence situation.

Shouto turned to the sound of a quiet knock on his door. It was 11 pm and he’d assumed everyone was asleep by now or at least heading there, so who could it be? While he wasn’t really interested in company, it would be rude not to answer it. He got out of bed and opened the door to find Momo standing there in her pajamas.

“How may I help you Yaoyorozu?”

She averted her eyes nervously to the ground as her fingers fidgeted in her clasped hands. “I’m sorry to bother you this late, but I noticed how quiet you’ve become since we returned to UA and I wondered if you might need someone to talk to. I-I’ll understand if you don’t want to, I was just worried...”

Momo stopped short of stating the obvious elephant in the room and Shouto didn’t blame her. They were all still processing the fact his older brother was not just a villain, but a powerful one with the league. He was truly grateful that all of his friends were being supportive of him and his family. “That’s really kind of you Yaoyorozu, but I don’t know if I’m ready to talk about it yet.”

“Okay,” she bowed along with the word, “I understand. Good night Todoroki.” Momo turned to leave, then stopped midway. “I can’t even imagine what must be going through your mind, but it’s always better to talk about things instead of holding it in. And when you’re ready, I’d be honored to listen.” She partially bowed a second time and left the room.

Shouto took a moment to process Momo’s words before quietly calling after her to stop and motioned for her to return. He lead her back in and gestured at the zabuton cushions to sit down. “I appreciate the gesture, all of you have been such a support for my family and I, but I think it best that I say up front, I’m not angry because I found out Touya is Dabi.” Momo tilted her head in confusion, so he continued. “I’m sure that sounds odd, but it’s not the reason I’ve been quiet.”

“It doesn’t bother you that he’s a villain?”

“Of course, I’m not happy about it, but you see,” he sighed, “our father— The world sees Endeavor as this amazing hero, but behind closed doors he’s not a nice person. Growing up, I used to wonder if he cared about family at all or was it always about image and power. He only married my mother for her quirk.”

“Wow... I’m so sorry, Todoroki, I had no idea.”

“I could be angry at Touya until I tried to put myself in his shoes... what it must have been like growing up. My brother’s personality was a lot like my dads according to my sister and mother, but perhaps it became twisted and warped by the brutal training our father put us through.”

“So, what is upsetting you? I can sense there’s something bothering you.”

“I don’t care if Touya is angry with our father, he has every right to be. But to do what he did, and upsetting our mother, for that... for that I’m furious with him. He probably blames her just as much as our father, but she doesn’t deserve it.”

“Todoroki,” Momo tentatively reached out and placed her hand over the hand he had perched on one of his thighs. “That’s really amazing that you can sympathize with your brother, I don’t know if I could so easily after everything he’s done. But what will you do now about it?”

Again Shouto sighed, “I still love him. He’ll always be my brother, but there’s no questions in my mind that Touya must be stopped. He’s done too many bad things at this point and must be locked away where can no longer hurt anyone else.”

“Are you sure you’re really okay with that? Knowing he’ll hate you even more for it?”

“I was too young to really know my brother, so— yes. I need to protect my mother from any more pain, and if that includes stopping my own blood, then so be it.”

Momo smiled, “it sounds like you’ve made up your mind, and I think it’s the right decision.”

Shouto paused for a second. While he had thought a lot about what he would do, it never felt solidified, doubts always lingered about whether or not he could go through with it. But strangely now, after saying it out loud, his choice did feel much easier to acknowledge. It wasn’t an easy one, and frankly it was wholly unfair that he has been put into this situation.

“Thank you, Yaoyorozu. You were right, it did feel better to talk it out.”

Momo patted his hand. “I’m glad I was able to assist.” She then stood up to leave. “If you need to talk more, just let me know. We’ll always be here for you.”

He smiled for the first time in days. “Good night, Yaoyorozu.”

“Good night, Todoroki.”

[diegosclownshoes]

alright, continuing within the same au, here’s the relationship progression + more on what they’ve got in common aside from being sarcastic assholes

they start of as enemies (which needs no explanation) to exasperated allies facing up against a common enemy (though for the agent she isn’t going against the handler specifically, who five wouldn’t hesitate to off if the need for it came, it’s more her mission to bring on the apocalypse that the agent’s trying to stop) to begrudging mutual respect for each other (five once he sees the agent use her abilities at her own risk to help his family make it to the alley in time, and the agent realizes five isn’t just some snotty brat but a highly skilled professional with the biggest soft spot in history for his family)

if they didn’t have the 10 day deadline, they’d probably move on to growing fondness concealed by snark right now, but unfortunately the agent faces the huge feelings of betrayal that come up once the 743 mission is revealed to her by lila. finding out this guy (and his family) that she’s been dedicated to helping, even going against the women who raised her (thought she doesn’t ever see the handler as a mother figure, she’s still a mentor who taught her everything she knows, from how to kill men 3 times her size before she learned her multiplication tables, to how to tie the laces on her boots) was the one who killed her parents. cue major feelings of conflict: she still remembers them but it’s more of a distant memory + she’s done her own fair share of killing innocent people without question. she has no right to feel this angry at five when they both spent so long knowing no other way of living. but that doesn’t make it hurt any less when she thinks of the life she could have lived beyond the commission.

however this also means once the truth is revealed, that it was the handler who put out the hit, not carmichael, and they slowly reconcile, it comes with a much greater understanding of each other. the agent already knows deep down that it was never anything personal, that it couldn’t even have been considered five’s kill, and that she knows firsthand how that disconnect from a job becomes ingrained in you. and five gets how even if he was literally doing what he had to do in order to survive, to have a chance of making it back to his family, if the same thing had happened to him and his family were killed, he would want to get revenge on the person who carried it out as well.

a few months post s2 they reunite to handle the sparrow academy situation. when the hargreeves go back to 2019 reginald immediately kicks them out with a warning to stay out of his business, and they have to decide on their next course of action. they figure hey, might as well get all the help that we can get and decide ask the agent for her help. this is where her and five’s strange friendship really solidifies itself, especially bc of the unspoken understanding between them. the agent agrees to help out not only bc she genuinely wants to, but at this point the lack of a life outside of the commission is driving her insane and she welcomes any distractions to delay the inevitable. this is also a major problem for five as well; he doesn't know what to do with himself now, not just because he's now without a purpose in life, which used to be getting back to his family, but because he doesn't know how to be happy or even take in normal experiences after spending decades with nothing to be happy about.

this’s the point where they’d be able to have a deeper understanding of each other. i’ve mentioned before that even though he’s older and considers himself more mature than his siblings, five spent decades alone. he definitely had to grow up much quicker to survive, but he missed out on his entire youth, years of social experience that he never got. he didn’t really get that time to actually mature. and when someone is forced to grow up quicker, when they reach a point in life where they don’t have to be the grownup to survive, they live out those experiences of youth that they never got the chance to before, and there’s no doubt that same thing would happen to five too.

the agent also goes through a very similar experience. though she does grow up alongside lila, it was by no means a regular childhood with friends or peers either. and because of the training she had to undergo, both for fighting and better control over her abilities, and the handler consistently drilling in her head the fact that she has to be extremely careful w it, she’s become much more guarded as well. and then when she was18 and actually did get to live on her own, it was for the sake of a mission and she was sent to 1960 all alone and had adapt to the time period. so even though she did get more experience interacting w others in more normal ways, aka not trying to kill each other, it was always with the sense of ‘this is just temporary until the mission is over’ combined w the constant state of caution she lives in too.

after the apocalypse is stopped and the imminent danger’s gone, they have the chance to actually spend time in a normal setting. now there’s that weird, almost shy type of awkwardness that comes when you meet someone who you’ve only met once before, which is made even stranger considering they’d seen each other at their worst, rage-filled and sleep deprived, borderline manic and bloody and yelling, a week into knowing each other. so now this feels like a more “real” first meeting with everyone sitting down together and having a civil conversation instead of pointing guns at each other.

+ now that they’re not in a state of crisis/survival mode anymore and their arguing isn’t as aggressive and biting, they’re both actually able to appreciate each other’s sense of wit and humor and how easily they can get lost in a back-and-forth snark session. they also spend a considerable amount of time alone together doing recon around the former umbrella, now sparrow academy given how their abilities compliment each other (five can blink them in an out and the agent can give them quick bursts of extra time to scope out the scene and get their hands on any documents that they can). plus they’re the only two who don’t have any other affairs to get in order considering that neither of them have any trace of existence beyond the commission anymore, so they’re automatically put together as partners.

also, considering that at this point five’s managed to add 10 years to himself physically neither have any major qualms about the age situation anymore either. which means there are definitely some unexpected... feelings that crop up too (to no one’s surprise). and so now begins the beloved mutual pining stage with a side of classic repression where they do anything they can to tell themselves they don’t like each other that way, don’t be ridiculous. and since the agent and five are both textbook examples of emotionally stunted adults via their poor childhoods, their attempts to cover up their feelings basically amount to even more bickering and teasing than usual (”sure you don’t need a crate to stand on, agent?” “sure you don’t need me to knock out some of those baby teeth that you’ve got left, five?”), some creative nicknames (”no they’re not pet names, shut up diego”) and extra long side-eyes. aka, the growing fondness concealed by snark stage. between this and the fact that they’re now both attractive early 20 somethings who, for the first time in their lives, have the time to actually develop feelings for someone, the resulting tension is more than palpable.

meanwhile the hargreeves roll their eyes at the two arguing like they've been married for five decades and wonder when they’ll realize that the constant ranting/grumbling about each other just means they can’t get each other off their minds.

[ichliebeanimalcrackers]

Secret Love Affair

Yes, I’ve watched another Kdrama and this one is definitely getting added to the “My Favorites” list. I’d describe it like this: if the Palme d’Or could be awarded to a television show, then this one would definitely be in the running (and it would most likely win it). There are 16 episodes but it feels more like a movie and that’s one of the things that makes this drama stand out. I’m not sure where to begin, so I’d like to apologize in advance if this particular opinion piece is all over the place and has no respect for proper punctuation. I had a lot of feelings after watching this drama, and one simply needs to let all of that energy out. With that said, I’m just going to do bullet points because that seems to make sense in this situation lol

Since music is always an essential part of any show/ movie (especially in this case), I have to start with the soundtrack because it’s magnificent. It really is. It fits well with the theme and constantly adds an extra layer of emotion to what’s already happening on the screen. Whenever you hear the end credits waltz, you know something is about to happen and it makes you feel a bit uneasy. “Four Hands” is full of longing and “Affair” is cautious but steady. More often than not, this show uses music to convey emotion in place of a dialogue. One needs to simply listen and look at the characters expressions to understand what’s happening. One of the great things about music is that on some awesome, cosmic level it’s alive and has the power to make us feel and understand things without any words. 

Whenever I watch a show, I like to read the comment section because there are always interesting opinions out there. I was surprised to see that some people thought that the pace of the show was too slow. I certainly respect other people’s opinions, but I personally think that it wouldn’t have made sense if the story kept on jumping from one thing to the next. There was plenty of intrigue throughout the entire series, and I was already feeling nervous 10 minutes into the first episode. It’s a difficult situation to be in, but Sun Jae/ Hye Won met their soulmate. They have finally met their match. They both see each other for who they are and that’s more than enough to fall in love. What’s even more awesome is that something was already there even before they officially met. He briefly saw her at the concert hall and she saw a video of him playing piano (just his hands). Talent recognized talent and the rest is history.

Honestly, I was surprised with her friends. Pleasantly surprised. They already seemed like pretty cool people from the beginning and it was made even more evident as the show progressed. I expected them to scold and alienate her, but they didn’t. They were there for her and even comforted Lee Sun Jae when he had no one else to turn to. I bet they were shocked to learn about the relationship between the two (and the other stuff), but they tried to understand the situation from her point of view and didn’t leave her side when things really went downhill. We can only guess what happened after the events in episode 16, but I really hope that Professor Jo got appointed as the next Dean instead of Oh Hye Won’s husband (Professor Kang)...The man is obviously more qualified, has a good personality, the students respect him and he’s simply a chill guy. 

Speaking of Oh Hye Won’s husband...I feel bad for saying this but that man is just pathetic. Don’t get me wrong, they all have their own flaws but in this case there was nothing that set him apart other than him being totally indifferent unless it had to do with his position in the school hierarchy. He, along with the others, was ready to throw her under the bus for the “greater good” if the situation called for it. At some point in the show, I believe they do mention that they didn’t marry for love and that it was more of a comradeship. This means that they’ve been married for at least 10 or more years and you would think that during that time people would become each other’s support system. Nope, not in this case because the man never cared to begin with and it seems that she’s the one who has always carried the relationship. She definitely works more, she’s a better musician and she’s kind of a legend in this school/ foundation and perhaps that’s why (subconsciously) her husband always felt inferior. Yes, it must hurt to find out that your spouse is having an affair, BUT I don’t think that’s what bothered him so much. I think he was more scared of losing his chance of becoming the next Dean and not being able to mentor Sun Jae (who would definitely further solidify his credibility as a professor). I might be wrong, however, that’s how it seemed to me. There were a couple of other instances when he should’ve taken her side. For example, that scene when she comes back home with a bandaid on her forehead because the psycho lady threw game pieces at her and it cut her skin. A normal person would've been concerned that someone would do that, but he simply brushed it off as if it’s OK that they treated her like that. Ugh, just thinking about it annoys me. 

The cinematography was great. It’s a different style and it stands out from the ones that one would normally see in other dramas. It fits well with the mood of the show. The camera shots from different perspectives, the color and how some of the angles repeat but at different pivotal moments throughout the show added an extra oomph to the overall viewing experience. 

If anything, this show should give people an appreciation for classical music or at least they’ll be able to recognize it whenever they hear it again. I was listening to songs on YouTube Music the other day and a song popped up in the “recommended” category and it was the Rachmaninoff: Rhapsody On A Theme of Paganini, and I immediately thought “Omg! That’s the piece that he plays during the recital!” If it wasn't for this show, I would’ve never known the title of this piece.

The way Sun Jae treats Oh Hye Won. We really do need to take a minute to talk about this because certain details were too precious. Everything was always done with sincerity and without trying to show off in front of the person that he loves. First of all, the way he started mopping the floor when she came to his apartment for the first time. He didn’t let her step onto the floor until it was clean (it already looked pretty clean) and he gave her a towel to clean her hands after she touched the staircase railing that leads to his apartment. How he makes sure that her head doesn’t hit the pipe when they are walking through a construction site/ abandoned building. How he went on a full cleaning/ home improvement mode when she sent him her confession because he wanted this to be a safe place. He changed the lightbulb outside, so it wouldn’t be as dark in the stairwell and he power-washed the concrete stairs. He treats her like she’s the most treasured being he’s ever encountered in his entire life. These actions might not be heroic or grand, but there’s a lot of warmth/ love within them. Oh, I almost forgot to mention the shoes. They way he constantly places and rearranges her shoes. Bonus: the fact that Oh Hye Won listed him in her phone as “Home” and when he sees that...Ahhh! My heart is so full! 

All of the actors were great. The age difference between the two main lead actors is similar to the one of their characters and it made this story more authentic/ believable. I don’t think it would’ve been the same if the actors in real life were the same age but one of them tried to play someone younger/ older. Their chemistry was on point too and they simply look great together.

The fact that they both knew the severity of the situation and the repercussions that might come with it will surely send chills down your spine. It is an extremely risky situation and perhaps more for her than for him but it’s still dangerous. I’ve read a comment where someone mentioned that up until 2015 adultery was punishable by law in SK. After reading that, it certainly put things in perspective. I think they both felt the spark from the very beginning, but Sun Jae was bold enough to be the first one to say that he has feelings for Oh Hye Won. And how difficult it must have been for her to take a chance on something that she wasn’t expecting. The characters know and we as the audience know that there’s no turning back once they take this leap of faith. I mean *shivers* it’s impossible not to feel nervous for these two! Bonus: their first night together. Great choice by the director to only let us hear their conversation while showing spaces in the apartment. It’s their moment and theirs alone.

Something else that I like about this show is that Sun Jae never let others influence his opinion/ stance on the matter at hand. For the most part, he based his opinions on what he was experiencing and what he was able to observe. Of course there were things that he didn’t understand due to his age and perhaps in certain aspects it’s good that he didn’t fully understand, but he certainly wasn’t oblivious. Also, I like that Oh Hye Won  didn’t treat him like a child. She’s older, that’s true, but she wasn’t constantly reminding him of it. Even with the age difference, they are equals and understand each other in a way that’s unique to them. When they had moments of frustration, it wasn’t because one of them felt inferior. It was because they saw the other person hurting and felt helpless for not being able to make it better.

The horrible people that she had to work for. Oh Hye Won is a smart individual, and I’m sure she knew exactly who she was dealing with and the things that they were capable of. Nevertheless, she carried on while keeping her head high without letting things get to her. The thing that frustrates me the most is that this diligent, intelligent, talented person took most of the beating for something that the other party was equally guilty of but most of them were able to walk away unharmed. At the end of the day, they regarded her as a disposable tool and didn’t think anything of it. It’s just unfair. I was glad that at least some of the others who were involved got what they deserved. One must have nerves of steel in order to endure what her character had to go through and not lose one’s dignity in the process. You can’t help but have respect for someone like that. 

As much as I wanted a more Hollywood type ending, I think the writers gave us the most realistic and logical ending. Even though she had to go through all these hardships, she’s finally free from the grasp of those who have never truly valued her. There are still challenges to conquer, but at least she will be in control of her life and all future decisions will be hers. I suppose that in the end she was indeed the true winner.

Sun Jae’s soliloquy at the end *sigh* If that’s not one of the most romantic and heartfelt speeches of all time, then I don’t even know anymore. They’ve always had their own way of communicating, especially through music/ music references, and this one is perfect. I can’t figure out if it’s the same piece that he wrote about in his journal as a kid or if it’s the one that Professor Jo recommends to him or could it be the one that’s listed by Oh Hye Won’s name in the program? In any case, it’s extremely fitting that he would compare her to a classical piece of music. She’s the physical embodiment of that music. He will play it every day regardless of the weather or his mood. They have to be apart for the time being, but this will be his way of keeping her close. Once again, I think this goes to show that their connection goes beyond the ordinary. It’s on a cosmic level and just like music it has no boundaries.  

The show has an open ending and I truly like to believe that everything turned out OK. I’d like to believe that he did win the competition. I’d like to believe that she was released sooner than expected. I’d like to believe that they lived a long and happy life together. That’s what I believe and I’m going to stick with it.  

Moral of this long post: this is a great show and it’s worth it. 

[supergay-supergirl]

why supergirl season 5 was actually good: sort of an essay

This has been sitting in my sticky notes for months and I figured now that I have a Supergirl blog, I can actually post it.

People love hating on Supergirl Season 5. And I get it. I admit that it had a lot of problems. But I did like the season overall, and there's enough out there about Season 5’s problems, so here is a post about some things that were great about Season 5!

1. Lena’s Arc

Apparently everyone hates how this was executed, but I really liked it. I like how 5A allows her to scheme and lie and altogether explore the darker (Luthor) side of herself, because only after experiencing what she’s been afraid of becoming can she fully come to know herself. I like how in 5x07, she gets to scream and cry, to express to Supergirl how much she’s hurting, and how betrayed she feels. I like how in 5x13, Kara finally accepts that Lena joining Lex was not her fault, and that she didn’t deserve to be manipulated (“From now on, you’re accountable for your own actions.”). I like Lena’s growing obsession with erasing human pain through 5B and the fact that we know exactly where her motivations come from, and we feel for her because we’ve seen how much pain she’s in herself -- but at the same time, we can still oppose her ultimately villainous actions, which leads us to hope for her redemption. (A lot of this is due to Katie McGrath’s stellar acting as well.)

I love how the season shows just how much Lex’s continual abuse and manipulation affects her, and shows her standing up to him at the end. I wish they had focused more on Lena instead of pushing her aside in favor of Lex in 5B, but overall I liked how they expanded on the Luthor sibling relationship from Season 4, even if it was missing some of the complexity of the previous season. And finally, I love the way Lena fights so hard to regain Kara’s trust in 5x19 (and succeeds!). It felt like there was more of a balance between the two starting from 5x13, where previously it had always been Kara apologizing and trying to gain Lena’s trust.

2. Supergirl’s New Look

PANTS. PANTS. PANTS. PANTS.

For Season 4, Kara the Reporter got a more professional wardrobe as she began to mentor Nia, and the switch to pants feels like the same thing for Supergirl. It completes the transition from “young adult” to just “adult.” It may have been reasonable to call Kara a “girl” in Season 1, but by now, she is an adult woman, and I’m glad that her wardrobe reflects that.

I was opposed to Kara’s bangs at the beginning of the season, but they have definitely grown on me. Like the pants, I think they mark an important change in Supergirl’s character, one that is better appreciated by the audience than the characters. Now, when I rewatch previous seasons, I think, “Wow, Kara looks so different now.” I didn’t think that when I rewatched episodes after Season 4. The bangs are a way to identify Adult Kara as having changed a lot from how she was at the beginning, and like the pants, I feel like they complete her transition into adulthood.

(But are the writers expecting us to believe that nobody who knows Kara would be suspicious that Kara and Supergirl got bangs on the exact same day? Seriously.)

3. Eve Teschmacher

In Season 4, Eve Teschmacher was a brilliant, eager-to-please young woman who (whoops) turned out to be evil. And she was great. But I was dissatisfied with her betrayal because it came so out of the blue, and it was a complete 180 without much buildup at all. Season 5 gave her the humanity that she was lacking, first with her mom, then with her desperation not to have to kill. Not to mention, some pretty badass fight scenes.

4. J’onn’s Swagger

J’onn’s storyline in Season 5 is not nearly as deep as in Season 4, and I see that as a good thing. Season 4 J’onn was wonderful and necessary, but in a season that has a lot of strong development for Kara and Lena, it was nice to have a relatively static character who’s at a good place in his life. Season 4 let J’onn discover the man he wanted to be, and David Harewood brings a new confidence to Season 5 as a result of that. It’s fun to watch him strut around in his supersuit and say normal things as if they’re great proclamations. It’s nice to see the happy, healthy adult relationship between him and M’gann. The easy trust they have with each other causes them to act more like they’re married than dating, as opposed to the younger characters who are often caught up in relationship drama.

5. Kelly Therapy Face

All the characters need a therapist, and they finally got one! Well, Kelly is technically a psychologist, which I believe means she could be a therapist but is not necessarily? I don’t know things. Anyway, it’s nice to have a calm, supportive presence in the group, and this effect is helped by Kelly Therapy Face. Kelly Therapy Face is the face Kelly makes when she’s listening to you talk about your problems. Kelly Therapy Face and her generally calm presence bring down the interpersonal drama of the group and solidify the idea that all these people are growing into full adults, with adult relationships and adult responses to issues. Their emotions are stabilizing, they’re building stronger support systems, and they’re gaining a better understanding of how the world works and their places in it.

This is more of a Season 4 thing -- this season really didn’t give Kelly the screentime she deserved -- but I also love how even though Kelly acts as a source of support for others, her own fear and trauma are rarely glossed over (see: the end of 5x05). This gives Kelly a humanity and realistic quality that many emotional-support characters don’t get. It also shows the key difference between Dansen and Sanvers: whenever Alex and Maggie had conflict, they swept it aside rather than working through it, leading to their eventual breakup, but when Alex and Kelly have conflict, they listen to each other and try to fix it. In accordance with their adult-ness, Alex and Kelly also seem to be in agreement that it’s okay to have conflict in their relationship (“And I might not know every little detail about you yet, but I know you,” 5x02).

6. Reality Bytes

Calling attention to violence against trans folk, exploring Dreamer’s dark side, and showing the strength of Kara and Nia’s mentor-student relationship in one episode? Just. Yes. Either Nicole Maines was projecting a lot or she’s a really good actor (probably both), but either way, as a trans person, I felt this episode on a personal level: the anger, fear, and frustration at knowing that your community is being targeted and the people you’re supposed to trust (i.e. the police) are probably not going to do anything about it. Additionally, Kara and Nia’s conflict in 5x15, and the fact that Kara compares Nia’s experience to her own, is a great marker of how far Kara has come. In Season 1, Supergirl felt a similar anger and hurt when villains sought her out, but by now, she’s more at peace and can offer Dreamer reassurance and comfort.

7. Brainy’s Plot

Brainy’s storyline in Season 5 is nice because it manages to remain stable as an important, but secondary, plot. It enhances the sense that there’s more going on than we realize and gives us a view into the scheming of the villains, while not taking over too much screentime or audience brainspace.

8. Jon Cryer

As annoying as it is that the writers gave up a lot of Lena’s screentime to Lex, Jon Cryer’s performance in Season 5 is just wonderful. He can go from acting totally in control to screaming in a matter of seconds. Lex Luthor is witty, assured, and charming in a weird way. On the other side of his personality, he is a madman who cares about no one’s interests but his own. Jon Cryer’s acting manages to package all this great but conflicting writing into a brilliant, awful, occasionally sympathetic villain who has more than his share of awesome (and terrifying) scenes.

9. Alex’s Grief

I like that Alex gets to let go of her emotions a little this season and express herself. Especially when Jeremiah dies before 5x16, Alex has a really tough time (and a mention of her possibly drinking problem! Expand, please!). She tries to escape from the pain of real life through virtual reality, but eventually realizes that she has to face her pain rather than avoid it, which is a major theme of the season. What’s great about 5x16 and the next couple episodes is that the other characters allow her to grieve. They could have told her to get over it and see all the happiness in the real world — it would have fit with the theme — but instead, they support Alex as she grieves. They listen without judgement when she expresses her anger that Jeremiah left and forced her to take care of Kara. Kara and Kelly are (mostly) understanding when Alex doesn’t want to go to Jeremiah’s funeral, and when Alex arrives late at the end of the episode, Kara lets her know how much she appreciates that Alex came at all. Throughout her life, Alex hasn’t had much opportunity to be herself and express her emotions, an idea that’s repeated over and over again starting from her coming-out arc in Season 2 or even earlier. Now that Kara can for the most part take care of herself and Alex has a good support system, she finally gets the opportunity to be vulnerable.

10. Andrea Rojas’s Moral Ambiguity

Is Andrea good or bad? Neither. She’s a person who wants love, success, and money, who does sketchy things to promote her company but also fights fiercely for her father and cares about the safety of her technology. Before Andrea, Lena was the main morally ambiguous character, and she could be categorized as “playing for her own team.” However, Andrea goes a step further, crossing into a territory I would call “not playing a game at all.” She’s just a human being trying to have a good life, and that causes her to do good things, bad things, and everything in between. In a show that often accentuates the difference between heroes and villains (“Don’t let them down by stooping to his level,” 5x15), Andrea is a reminder that most people aren’t good or bad -- they’re just living their lives.

TL;DR: They’re all adults now and Lena needs a hug.

[its-a-branwen-thing]

On Qrow: Part 1

Buckle up, people, this is a Qrow appreciation post and it is a few weeks of brain gems so it’s loooonng and broken up into...two? three? I’m not sure yet parts because I love this man and his future story potential has me in tatters.

Qrow’s arc this season has been about recovery. Recovery from his alcoholism, his self doubt, his persistent pessimism. You love to see it. And it was evident from his introduction that Clover was supposed to be instrumental to that in an illustrative way. How instrumental, I think, is up to interpretation. (Yes, I did in fact heavily ship Fair Game and no, I am not here to discuss that topic, as this is a post on Qrow’s character moving forward). But as much of a help as Clover was he also served as a vessel for some very interesting tidbits and breadcrumbs that I think will service the future of Qrow’s character.

“I just found working alone tends to be for the best.”

“Well I think that’s a shame.”

It sure is a damn shame, Clover. E3 is our first real introduction to this character and his subsequent partnership with Qrow. My interpretation of these scenes is tinted heavily by my shipping brain which has shipped nothing in it’s life ever and decided now was time to read into this ill-fated, doomed relationship so in trying to look at them objectively, it seems that the start of Clover’s interactions with Qrow are about the latter’s relevancy. Which maybe we, as an audience, have also been questioning. If V6 proved anything, it was that team RWBY and JNPR are coming into their own and Qrow, who has been a guiding force for them these past few seasons, might no longer be needed in that same capacity. So what’s next for the mentor whose mentees are all grown up? Well, quite a bit of growth.

Ah, the infamous truck scene. Love it or hate it, Qrow and Clover have some dialogue here that moves the former’s arc towards something. There are two specific Clover lines I’ll point out as being significant:

“It’s a good thing they had someone to look up to, get them through it. Not everyone is so lucky.”

“Those kids wouldn't be where they are without you. You’ve had more of an effect on them than you realize.”

The crux of Qrow’s struggle is that he’s bad luck and he’s often so down on himself because he feels his presence hurts those around him, namely those he loves. That’s why I find the phrasing of these sentiments so interesting. Clover isn’t reassuring Qrow that he’s not bad luck. He’s reassuring him that he is an asset to his team regardless. That his guidance was something he should be proud of. He’s building his confidence in connection to others, which is exactly the thing Qrow is most sensitive about. And, ironically, what I find most compelling about his and Raven’s vastly different semblances in that they directly oppose their character’s foundational beliefs and functions. Qrow has always shown he’s wanted to be close to others. His semblance, as we know it so far, largely prevents that. And if a semblance is part of a person’s soul, than what does that say about our dusty old crow? (More on that...whenever)

“No one wanted me. I was cursed.”

This line hurts me so much. Let’s back up for a bit. Just a bit. This is a helluva moment in V6E4 because not only does it show us Qrow’s breaking trust and faith, it’s also ultimately what sends Ozpin into dormancy. It’s Qrow saying meeting Oz was the worst luck of his life that initiates his retreat into Oscar. Like the final twist of a knife in the gut. Qrow being one of his remaining generals likely plays a role in that dynamic, and I think these two need to have a reckoning soon.

But as V6 continues, we see Qrow spiral more. He tries to act like the leader but it feels forced. His heart isn’t in this fight anymore because his trust in Ozpin has been shattered. His ability to believe that the war is worth the effort is nullified. He drinks. He doesn’t care what the kids do. He stops really listening to them. This escalates when he tells them all to drop the fight in V6E9. It continues into E10, where he has a moment of panic in that they’ll all be caught and that he shouldn’t have dragged any of them into this fight. He says the state of the world is the fault of the older generation, of Oz and him and every other person who’s been fighting this war. He blames himself for dragging them along. But Ruby says they aren’t his responsibility. They chose this. So did he.

“But we could sure use Qrow Branwen on our side.”

The entire exchange in this episode is wonderful. It shows Qrow’s concern. It shows the team’s doubt. And it shows Ruby’s conviction. I loved her in these scenes because she took command in a way no one else could. Not even her uncle, a man she’d admired her whole life. Who she based her weapon off of, her color scheme. Ruby’s aim here is to reassure her uncle that he means something to this fight. He always has. Because he’s always been an inspiration to her.

Qrow’s recovery isn’t because of Clover, it’s been in the works since V6. Qrow fights Cordovin alongside them. He goes to Atlas with them. He could have, at literally any point, birbed out of there and gone to a bar to drink his sorrows away until his liver died. But he doesn’t. He remains in the fight. Because if there’s one thing we’re learning about Qrow Branwen right now, it’s that he’s never given up. Especially not on family. And, most evidently, he’s never given up on these kids. He might doubt their abilities, dismiss their plans. He might worry over their safety. But, and this is important, he never leaves their sides.

“I feel like they did all the heavy lifting.”

“But you were there to help when they asked for it, and you were there to catch them when the fell. Literally, if I recall.”

Maria, oh Maria, points this out to Qrow when he begins to doubt himself again. There’s a reason she’s here as a voice of wisdom. There’s a reason she was his inspiration. It’s being repeated, again and again, that Qrow has been important to these growing huntsman and huntresses. That he’s done his mentoring and teaching. That he’ll always be that for them. It, in my opinion, is effectively book ended by Clover’s points about how he mattered to the team. Why bring that up if it doesn’t culminate into something? He’s shared a lot with these kids. And they need to do more than lip service that relationship. But the one thing this, almost worryingly, solidifies is that Qrow’s continued arc is connected intrinsically to legacies. His idolization of Maria, his fight with Oz, his blame for the state of the world, Clover’s reassurance that he impacted the team, and, very importantly:

“What good is saving the world without another generation waiting in the wings? Hopefully they’ll leave Remnant better than we left it for them.”

I’ll start with this quote next time too but, for now, the parting shot of Maria and Qrow above that closes out their conversation--this is what made me realize Qrow’s recovery isn’t largely due to Clover. It’s largely due to all of this. And the fact that Maria and Qrow, two mentor figures, are framed side-by-side like this is a testament to the kind of legacies this show is all about. Legacies that are for better or worse. (with worse I’m referencing whatever legacies Cinder is part of with those lines this season)

----

I honestly want to leave this here as like, a peaceful end to this analysis but I have a lot of other things drafted in this breakdown so I’ll continue with them even if they’re a bit disjointed from this one to be...hopefully cemented together cohesively :) Hope this all makes sense and, obviously, that you enjoyed reading it!

[chicagocityofclans]

Gendry Kingsley → Matt Smith  → Witch

→ Basic Information

Age: 1435

Gender: Male

Sexuality: Pansexual/Demisexual

Powers: Archive

Birthday: 14th October

Zodiac Sign: Libra

Religion: Druidry

Mark: Whilem

Generation: 2nd

→ His Personality

There are some that would consider Gendry mad, a thought that is only likely to be solidified when they learn of his power and age. It is not uncommon for Archives to go mad with the amount of knowledge their minds contain you see. In Gendry this conclusion may be drawn from his habit of disappearing for days at a time, his tendency randomly jump topics in conversations, the fact he is often talking to himself or inanimate objects and that he seems to be ‘away with the fairies’ half the time. It’s hard to know what’s going on in his head but usually there is method to the madness as they say.

He is at heart though a kind man, a wise teacher and a storyteller. Friendships aren’t something he goes out of his way to form very often anymore but to those who stick around he tends to form a loyal bond to. They might not hear from him for a while but then out of the blue they’ll receive an invite to dinner like he hasn’t been gone at all. Sometimes these absences are as a result of travel plans he decided on last minuet or forgot to tell anyone about, other times he is simply studying or writing and completely lost to the world in the process.

Frequently he forgets that not everyone knows as much as he does and thus doesn’t often explain himself, presuming the other person will understand what he is going on about. He also has a tendency to start talking half way through a conversation, not realizing he’d been having the first part of it with himself in his head. The level at which this happens depends on the day. Somedays his mind is a whirlwind of information making it hard for him to see the wood for the trees, other days are much calmer and it is far easier for him to have cohesive conversations with people. As a result it can take a good deal of patients to be friends with him at times.

→ His Personal Facts

Occupation: Records keeper, Mentor and Master Craftsman

Scars: A few

Tattoos: A triquetra on his right side & a triskelion on his left side

Two Likes: home grown fruit & rain storms

Two Dislikes: microwave ovens & shell fish

Two Fears: loosing his mind completely & knowledge projection

Two Hobbies: Cooking & book binding

Three Positive Traits: curious, cheerful & loyal

Three Negative Traits: chaotic, obsessive & vague

→ His Connections

Parent Names:

Tobias Wilhelm (Father): Gendry didn’t know his father for the first years of his life. In fact he didn’t meet him until he was taken away from his mother by an uncle to be raised by the Wilhelms. He tried to like Tobias but the man always seemed ashamed of Gendry, or perhaps ashamed of what he’d done. Either way their relationship was never very strong.

Gwen (Mother): She was the daughter of a travelling bard, a strong first generation witch of an unknown mark and she instilled her love of story telling in her son. Though her life was not easy, being shunned by her father after having Gendry out of wedlock, she cared for him the very best she could. That was until a Wilhelm first generation found them and took Gendry away from her.

Sibling Names:

Unknown: He didn’t keep in contact with his father and so isn’t sure if he had any more children.

Children Names:

Gwendolyn Kingsley (Daughter): Gwen inherited her mothers adventurous spirit and has moved around most of her life finding new mentors all over the world. In her youth Gendry was careful to keep her out of the reach of their family but now trusts her well enough to let her make her own choices. She like him doesn’t like many of the things they do and has made her own mind up to stay clear of them. They have a very strong relationship and visit each other often. At present she is mentoring in New Zealand.

Romantic Connections:

Ada Kingsley (Wife/deceased): Ada was a free spirit who spent most of her time outdoors in nature. They were an unlikely pair but when their friendship was formed it quickly became something more. Gendry turned his back on the wishes of his family to marry her and has no regrets about it.

Platonic Connections:

Emmett Wilhelm (Wilhelm Family): It was clear to Gendry from the first moment he met him that he wasn’t like the main faction of their family. In his eyes this was an extremely good thing. It wasn’t long before Gendry thought of him as family, not just as someone whom he shared a mark with but as true family.

Lyla Wilhelm (Wilhelm Family): Gendry took to Lyla instantly, liking her disposition and appreciating her interests. He also think she and Emmett make a really rather lovely couple.

Audo Wilhelm (Uncle): Audo was clearly unsure of Gendry at first and he understood why so he didn’t push the relationship. Instead he let the younger man come to his own conclusion about it. Since he did they have been on good terms.

Maya ‘Flower’ Hanes (Wilhelm Family): Gendry doesn’t know Maya all that well but would be happy to get to know this other member of their extensive family.

Amberlynn ‘Amber’ Chase (Wilhelm Family): Amber was introduced to him by her mother when she first moved to the city. In the years since then Gendry has started to see Amber as a niece.

Ronan Cleirigh (Old Friend): The very first time they met is a little foggy in Gendry’s memory but he does know it was some time in their youth and that he is one of his oldest friends, if not his oldest. Sometimes they have gone almost a century without seeing each other but always manage to pick up right where they left off.

Averill Sookram (Old Friend): Averill and Gendry might seem like an odd pair but they hit it off from the first time they met and have been friends ever since. They have a running joke about which one of them will be the one to disappear for a few weeks without telling anyone next.

Eric Lasiter (Old Friend): Gendry was introduced to Eric when he first became a mentee of Ronan’s and a friendship naturally formed between them.

Brighton ‘Bee’ Genesis (Old Friend): Gendry met Bee when he was first mentoring with Ronan and they quite quickly became friends.

Roman Clerigh (Friend): Gendry first met Roman the way he met most of the Clerigh’s he knows - through Ronan. They became friends easily and have remained so since. He also credits Roman with saving his daughters life when she was born.

Judson Clerigh (Former Mentee/Friend): Gendry met Judson through Ronan and they instantly hit it off. So much so that when Judson asked if he could mentor with Gendry the elder witch happily said yes. It has been many years since he has been Gendry’s mentee but they still have a good friendship.

Ethan Clerigh (Former Mentee/Friend): Ethan is another former mentee that Gendry first met through Ronan. During those training years the two developed a friendship that is still going strong today.

Kady Gaines (Former Mentee): Kady is one of the few archives Gendry has mentored over the course of his life. He found it very rewarding teaching one of his own and is immensely proud of her for being a mentor now herself.

Hostile Connections:

Some of the Wilhelm Family (Disapproves/ Distrusts): Gendry doesn’t like many of the ways the family has operated over the years and has taken measures to distance himself from those who would like to see it continue as it has been.

Pets:

Gus: A ginger cat who is as likely to come and go as his owner. He’ll disappear for a week or two but always comes home eventually.

→ History 

Gendry was never meant to happen. His parents weren’t married and were never likely to be. His mother was a beautiful, 1st generation witch but her mark was unknown, and she wasn’t considered a good match. This didn’t stop Tobias falling for her when he met her whilst travelling in Britain. For a while he stayed with her and her father, travelling round castles where they performed their songs and poems. Tobias loved listening to her but the longer he was away the more his family tried to pull him back. Eventually they won and one day he just woke up and left. When he did so he had no idea that Gwen was pregnant.

Years later he heard rumours of a pretty witch, with a beautiful voice travelling round Britain with her son who bared a 2nd generation Wilhelm mark. In his shock he told one of his siblings of his suspicion that he was the boys father. A few weeks later he found the boy, Gendry, had been brought to the family home to be raised amongst Wilhelm blood.

Those first years of his life spent with his mother are treasured memories for Gendry. They weren’t well off, struggling to get by for many years as Gwen was disowned by her father when he discovered she was pregnant. After a number of years though she started to gain a name for herself as a bard in her own right. Mother and son travelled the countryside visiting many castles and villages. Gendry loved learning all the tales, the songs and the poems his mother knew. He dreamed of one day telling them along side her. That was all cute short when his uncle came to take him away. Gwen put up a fight but in the end she simply wasn’t strong enough.

His magical training began straight away. No proper magic at first, just learning about their world. He absorbed all they taught him with remarkable speed so they started to test him, giving him scroll after scroll to learn. It wasn’t long before they knew for certain he was an archive. The training that then followed was heavily weighted in marks and family lineage as they groomed him to work in that area when he was old enough.

At first Gendry didn’t mind this, he loved learning about it all. Slowly though he started to see traditions and attitudes within the family that he didn’t like. The more he learnt the more his own views started to differ with theirs. As he grew older he took every opportunity to wander away from them that he could, meeting witches and warlocks of other marks, and reading things that hadn’t been given to him by the family. He then started to work on convincing them to let him mentor outside of the family, getting his wish before long. The argument that finally won it for him was his desire to train to be a Master Craftsman. So they allowed him to go off into the world, finding the best mentors he could to learn from. Once that had happened though, he never really went back to them. Especially after they forbid him from marrying the woman he loved.

Ada and he left his family far behind, seeking out the company of his friends instead. With them Gendry started to feel what family truly should be and more than once caught himself wishing he was a Clerigh instead. By this time he was already becoming a little chaotic, his mind so full of all the knowledge he’d learnt but they accepted him just as he was.  It wasn’t long before Ada announced she was pregnant. He didn’t think he could be happier but that wasn’t going to last. His bubble was shattered the day Ada gave birth to their daughter. She was on one of her long walks she still insisted on taking even in her condition when she went into labour. Perhaps most women would have made it giving birth out there alone but Ada had the gift of aquakinesis and was prone to hemophilia and dehydration. It proved a deadly combination. Gendry heard the news from Roman after Ada’s ghost had appeared to him begging him to save her daughter. It almost broke him and the only things that stopped him burying himself in books and studying was that little baby girl and his friends. He loved his daughter from the first moment he held her and decided to name her after his own mother.

He kept Gwendolyn close to him through her upbringing, keeping a good distance between her and the Wilhelm family. She grew up to be as strong willed and adventurous as her mother, and with a love of music like his mother. They have always been very close, even after she flew the nest to find mentors of her own.

Since then he has lived alone, often in towns or cities where he had friends. He finds having them close helps him from getting too lost in his own mind or research. He has also had a continues stream of mentees but never more than a couple at a time. Teacher has always been one of his greatest joys but he is aware that too many at once would likely end in confusion for all involved.

His last moved was to Chicago just over a few hundred years ago. On moving he started to build a home for himself, to continue mentoring and to do more work as a Master Craftsman. He was also pleased to find that he wasn’t the only Wilhelm that didn’t agree with the old order, something he discovered when Emmett, Lyla and Audo moved to town.

→ The Present 

Gendry still considers Chicago home, even though he often travels away for short periods of time. He is currently without mentees and has been spending time working on his library - expanding it in both the works it contains and in it’s physical size. He’s aware his mind is more chaotic than it used to be but has come to accept that that is who he is now. He’s just grateful that at the moment it seems his friends can accept that too. Looking to the future he would love to take on a mentee or two again, as well as continue to bridge connections with those of the Wilhelm mark that don’t hold with the old way of doing things.

[takerfoxx]

Coming to Terms with Homura Akemi, My (Formerly) Least Favorite PMMM Character

Or, How I Learned to Stop Whinging and Love the Emo Meguca!

I have a…complicated history with my favorite anime’s main character (and yes, Homura is the main character. Madoka might be the title character and the show’s POV protagonist, but like most things in this series, that was a clever ruse, and it’s really more about Homura’s journey than Madoka’s). The first time I watched the show, I walked away feeling kind of ambivalent toward her, even mildly hostile. And that’s weird, right? I mean, just look at her! Look how her character arc plays out! She was practically grown in a lab to be my favorite! And you know what? In pretty much any other series she would have been my favorite, no doubt. She would have been a first pick Fav of the Day, the starring character in whatever fanfic I wrote about it, etc. But since the show she premiered in is anything but traditional, the way I eventually came to love each character turned out to be a little…unorthodox.

Now, I’ve gone over most of this before, so sing along if you know the words. My first time watching Puella Magi Madoka Magica went a little something like this:

Episode 1: Blue funny, Pink cute, Yellow badass, Purple mysterious.

Episode 2: Blue favorite, Pink alright, Yellow probably evil, Purple mysterious.

Episode 3: Yellow’s not evil after all, and now is the dead. My bad.

Episode 4: Pink getting all fucked up, SOMEONE SAVE BLUE!

Episode 5: Hate Red for attacking Blue. Kick her ass, Purple!

Episode 6: Still hate Red.

Episode 7: FUCK YOU, BUNNYCAT! Red’s not so bad after all. But someone save Blue!

Episode 8: Aw, hell no, Purple! You don’t threaten Blue like that! You go, Red! You’re pretty cool after…oh shit. BLUE, NO!

Episode 9: GO RED! GO PINK! SAVE BLUE! YOU CAN DO IT, I BELIEVE IN…no.

Episode 10-12: Stuff is still happening with the plot, but I no longer care. My heart has been shattered, all light has gone from the world. My babies are gone. If only they had more time together, if only there was someplace they could reunite, really get to know one another, and go on adventures together…huh.

So yeah, that’s the story of how I fully got on board the KyoSaya train. Obviously, writing Resonance Days only solidified that, and coming across A Happy Dream by angel0wonder, AKA the potato lady AKA @smxmuffinpeddling (wazzup?!?!), pretty much cemented it as my top reigning OTP.

Now, obviously I got invested in the whole story as time went by. Subsequent rewatchings of the show, mainly through convincing people to watch it blind so I can laugh at them when they get to certain scenes (don’t hate, y’all did it too!) and taking part in online discussions really got me into the show as a whole instead of just being confined in my little KyoSaya bubble. But coming to love the other characters for their own merits took some time.

Mami was next. I’ll be honest, I just didn’t care all that much for her during my first watching, mainly due to believing that she would turn out to be evil for the first couple of episodes (I blame Disney and their recent trend of turning almost every kindly mentor/confidante figure into the bad guy lately), and me being more surprised that I was wrong when she died instead of being shocked that she was killed. Again, had nothing against her, that was just my reaction the first time around. However, she was included in Resonance Days because it felt like the logical thing to do, and she turned out to be so much fun to write for that I really came to love and care for her character in general, and her relationship with Charlotte ended up becoming one of my favorite parts of that story.

Madoka honestly took more time. I think the main reason I wasn’t all that invested in her is that she was pretty passive in the series proper while my attention was more on the more proactive side characters. And again, this wasn’t a bad thing! In fact, it was a clever bit of deliberate storytelling, as it’s revealed that she originally was a proactive main-character type, only to unintentionally get relegated to her observer role by the butterfly effect caused by Homura’s time loops. But anyway, the thing that made me turn the corner on Madoka actually also ended up being fanfiction, but not one of my own. Specifically, I came across a popular, yet also somewhat controversial, fic called Persephone’s Waltz (and wazzup, @erinptah!), in which Homura decides to just stop beating around the bush and lock Madoka up in a basement until Walpurgisnacht had passed. And as weird as it sounds, making Madoka a prisoner actually gave her more agency, as the fic really went into detail about the psychological effects of being a kidnapping victim, from the strange rituals to the escape attempts to coping strategies to Stockholm Syndrome to bouts of depression and so on and so forth, all the while never deviating from her core character. It really got me rooting for Madoka and, by extension, invested in her character in canon as well.

That just left Homura.

By then, I had gotten over being a little sore at her for trying to kill Sayaka that one time, and I was interested in where her actions would take the plot. I just wasn’t interested in her, per se, as I hadn’t had an icebreaker moment like I had with the other characters.

And then The Rebellion Story happened.

The Rebellion Story: PMMM’s End of Evangelion

Puella Magi Madoka Magica is often compared its nearly two decade-old predecessor, Neon Genesis Evangelion, and not without reason. Like Evangelion, it took a genre mainly known to be fun and kid-friendly (giant mechs for Evangelion and magical girls for PMMM) and turned it on its head, resulting in a brutal and twisted deconstruction that would end up altering the direction that genre would take for years to come. The key difference is that Evangelion’s brilliance was in many ways an accident, with the bizarre places it went being largely informed both by its troubled production and its showrunner’s personal demons staying bottled up through the early part of the show but letting them loose later on, whereas PMMM was meticulously constructed from top to bottom to become the hand-grenade to the genre that it would become. But in the end, the effects were the same. They even both had a follow-up movie that was not originally supposed to happen that ended up being highly divisive among fans due to the shots they took at the fandom that had sprung up around the original series, even if The Rebellion Story wasn’t nearly as spiteful as End of Evangelion was.

Now, I’ve already gone into at length about how PMMM brutally dissects and deconstructs the Magical Girl genre, and it did it so thoroughly that the genre itself was totally wrenched in a new direction, much like Evangelion did to the Giant Mecha genre. But after you’ve completely taken apart the genre in your first season, where exactly do you go? How do you continue when your work is seemingly done?

The answer: deconstruct yourself.

Much as Puella Magi Madoka Magica went after the Magical Girl genre, The Rebellion Story went after the fandom that had sprung up in the original show’s wake. The first third of the movie gives the fans what they claimed they wanted: a traditional Magical Girl reimagining of PMMM where everyone is alive and working together, everyone is mentally and emotionally healthy, the two fan-favorite ships are just a kiss away from being canon, Kyubey is now a cute and silent mascot that helps out instead constantly manipulating everyone around him, and even the most popular witch is back as a benevolent secondary mascot in a happy friendship with the character she had killed. We see Madoka and the Moemura version of Homura being adorable together, we see Kyoko and Sayaka goofing off, we see Mami cuddling with Charlotte with nary a head-chomp in sight, we see everyone being just being friends and protecting the city from weird but essentially non-threatening monsters. It is basically the summation of a hundred fanfics that had been posted between the end of the show and the release of the movie.

But this is still PMMM, and something is not quite right.

We all know what happens next. Homura starts subconsciously noticing that something is off, she gradually becomes Terminator Homura as she investigates the situation and regains her memories, and the perfect happy world is exposed for the farce that it is. Things collapse, and the truth is revealed: Homura had become a witch that had been trapped inside her own soul gem, those close to her had been lured in to complete the illusion, and of course it is all Kyubey’s fault. Because this is PMMM, and Homura doesn’t get to be happy.

But the movie doesn’t stop with that reveal. Once we learn the truth, it changes targets. It stops deconstructing the fans, and instead goes after something else.

It starts to deconstruct Homura Akemi, its own main character.

Despite her promise to continue fighting on in Madoka’s name to protect the slightly more kind world her beloved had created, Homura had found herself unable to cope without Madoka. Her mission had failed, and without that stabilizing force, despair had slowly crept in, corrupting her from within, to the point where (I believe at least) she had been fighting not to honor Madoka, but in hopes that she would fall in battle and be carried off by her goddess. She had been fighting not in hopes of building a better world, but as a way to seek release from her pain. She had been miserable in Madoka’s new world, even moreso than she had been during her time loops.

And because she had been foolish enough to tell the truth to Kyubey, the little rat had taken the opportunity to use her to set a trap. Madoka had been pulled out of Heaven right into the Incubators’ clutches, and it was all her fault.

Is it any wonder that she had been unwilling to accept Madoka’s salvation during the climatic battle? Is it any wonder that her own labyrinth had featured her own familiars dragging her away to her own execution? Homura hated herself. She hated what she had become, she hated what she had allowed to happen, she hated that she had failed so utterly and completely.

In fact, I’d say that this movie shows something about Homura that I don’t think a lot of people will appreciate me pointing out, and that is as much as Homura was single-mindedly devoted to Madoka, she never really came to know her. I mean, how could she? She only knew Madoka over the course of a few of a few infatuated weeks the first time around, which she then repeated over and over and over again, becoming increasingly traumatized over time. I don’t doubt that her devotion to Madoka is real, but The Rebellion Story does seem to suggest that after a while she was fixated on Madoka as an ideal rather than Madoka as an actual person, something to be protected and possessed rather than as a living, breathing person with her own autonomy.

Now, am I saying that Homura is a bad person and that anyone who felt inspired by her resilience and devotion is wrong? Of course not. Am I saying that anyone that ships MadoHomu is bad, promoting toxic relationships, etc.? Hell no! What I’m saying is that due to everything she’s been forced to endure and fight again, she is a very mentally unhealthy individual, one who is in desperate need of help. And if an actual relationship between her and Madoka is going to realistically work, well, first something  drastic will have to happen to upset her new system and give Madoka her power back, but Homura is also going to need tons of therapy.

As I said before, Homura’s decision to rip Madoka out of the Law of Cycles and turn herself into Homucifer has been pretty controversial, with many people claiming that it betrayed her characterization. To those people, I would say that they never really knew the real Homura Akemi. The show set up an idealized version of Homura, and people had that ideal imprinted in their mind. And I can’t really blame them for that. The show ended on a big, optimistic moment with Homura making a big speech about how she was going to keep fighting in Madoka’s name. It’s all very stirring, and I can’t fault anyone who would feel betrayed by their Homura acting against that promise.

But as a sadistic bastard in another dark show that is now also very controversial once said, “If you think this story has a happy ending, then you clearly haven’t been paying attention.”

Homura Akemi Did Everything Wrong, and It’s Okay to Admit That

Even though The Rebellion Story got me interested in seeing where the whole Homucifer vs. Godoka thing would go, I still wasn’t all that invested in Homura as a person. I was entrenched too deep in my KyoSaya world, and everything outside of that was just so much plot. Most of my focus was on Resonance Days, which just didn’t involve her at all.

It took years, but three things finally cracked me out of that shell. The first was writing Walpurgis Nights, of course. Granted, Homulilly was more of a Moemura than Homucifer, but that story really made me dive deep into her innate insecurities, to explore her struggles with self-loathing and her reliance on Madoka for any kind of validation.

The second was watching through a few blind reactions to the series, seeing how other people reacted to her character and the things that they picked up that I had missed. One thing in particular stood out to me: during Homura and Madoka’s first meeting in episode ten, Homura is actually shocked when Madoka casually addresses her by her first name, as no one ever called her by her first name.

And the third might get me some hate, but it was through coming across this little video:

Now, like many things I’ve discussed in this post, this video has been pretty polarizing, with some people outright hating it and labeling it as slanderous character bashing. The clickbaity title certainly doesn’t help, and I can’t say I agree with all of its points. But the video really isn’t the character-bashing piece that it might seem like. Rather, it’s as much a deconstruction of a character that has been heavily idealized by the fandom, pointing out the many mistakes and, while it certainly was not her fault, how she was driven more by a personal need for validation rather than selfless love.

That’s when it all clicked for me, all the little pieces coming together.

Despite how badass she appears to be, despite how unwavering her adoration for Madoka is, Homura Akemi is someone who was broken from the beginning, who was re-broken again and again, who never seemed to make the right choice, who was never allowed to have what she wanted, who was never allowed to win, until she finally snapped and ripped apart the carefully-laid plans and systems that seemed to be set against her.

Homura Akemi did everything wrong, and that is fascinating!

Consider: when we first meet her, she is a young girl who has known nothing but neglect, who has been shuffled around by an uncaring system her entire life, who is physically weak due to a heart condition, who is terrified by any kind of attention and is genuinely perturbed just by being called by her first name.

Of all the tragic backstories in the series, hers is easily the worst. Mami and Kyoko’s characterizations are both defined by having a single horrific event in their respective pasts that took everything away from them, events that shattered their worlds and which they blamed themselves for. But at the very least they had something before the cruel hand of fate reached into their lives. Homura never had anything! Her family is so completely out of the picture to not even warrant a mention! Her heart condition leaves her constantly balanced on the precipice of death and frequently leaves her weak and in pain. She’s never had a real friend, never had anyone close, never had anything that made her feel good about being herself. So when the Arch of Victory witch ensnares her with suicidal thoughts, it doesn’t really have to try very hard.

And then Madoka came into her life. A cheerful, outgoing girl who showed her kindness, one who called her by her name and said that it was pretty. Someone who came to her during the scariest moment in Homura’s life like a guardian angel and saved her. Someone who was everything Homura had ever wanted: kind, humble, encouraging, non-judgmental, loving, powerful, protecting, and the list goes on.

Is there any wonder that Homura became infatuated with her? Not one bit.

But then something terrible happened. Madoka and Mami were faced with the horror of Walpurgisnacht, and it killed them. Finally Homura had someone in her life that made her feel good about being herself, and that person was stolen from her. She had to watch Madoka fail. She had to watch Madoka die. And she just stood by and did nothing.

And it is then that Homura made her first mistake. Kyubey being the opportunistic manipulator that he is, he took advantage of her vulnerable state in order to add another soul to his quota. And of course Homura accepted; who could blame her?

But consider this: Homura could have wished for Madoka to be resurrected. Walpurgisnacht had been defeated; it was no longer a threat! Then the two of them (or three, had Mami been brought back as well) would have been together, fighting side-by-side! I mean, it would have eventually ended in tears anyway, but Homura had no way of knowing that. As far as she knew, she was in a traditional magical girl story that just so happened to have a bad end, one that she could have fixed.

Instead, she wished to be sent back in time to redo her first meeting with Madoka, only this time as a Puella Magi. That way, she could help Madoka and Mami prepare for Walpurgisnacht! She could protect Madoka!

It wasn’t enough just to have her dearest (and only) friend back in her life. Homura wanted to switch the roles. She wanted to protect Madoka like Madoka had protected her. She wanted a reason to keep existing, a mission, a way to prove her worthiness, because she still hated herself and needed something to validate her existence.

But it wasn’t that kind of show. She didn’t have all the information. How could she have known that Kyubey was being deceptive? How could she have known of the truth about witches? How could she have known that her time-looping would make Walpurgisnacht stronger? How could she have known that each loop would alter the timestream, entangling both Sayaka and Kyoko in its web?

Still, she kept trying. She made herself stronger and stronger in hopes that she would be able to stop Walpurgisnacht in time. She tried to warn everyone about Kyubey and the witches only to be disbelieved. She watched the others die around her again and again. She watched Madoka either die or succumb to despair and become a witch herself.

And then it happened.

That all-important timeline, where everything in her changed.

The one where she and Madoka finally successfully defeated Walpurgisnacht, but lost everything else. The one where they laid side-by-side in the ruins and the rain, as their cracked soul gems grew darker and the darker. The one where Homura resigned herself to becoming a witch.

The one where Madoka sacrificed her final grief seed, Sayaka’s grief seed, in order to save Homura. The one where she made Homura promise to go back and prevent her from making a contract in the first place. And the one where Madoka died again, not in battle against a witch, but by Homura’s own hand.

Something inside Homura broke that day, something that was never repaired and never will be. It was then that Homura shed the last remnants of the frightened, insecure girl she had been and became the Terminator-esque warrior that we were first introduced to. Her missions was clear then: stop Madoka from making a contract and defeat Walpurgisnacht by any means necessary. Nothing else mattered.

But despite all her resets, despite all her preparations, despite (supposedly) finally having all the information, Homura still kept failing! No matter what she did, Madoka always made a contract and became Kriemhild Gretchen. And Walpurgisnacht just seemed to be getting stronger.

Finally, in the timeline that encompasses the show proper, Homura learned the reason why. She was doomed from the start. Her own resetting of time was only building Madoka’s karmic destiny, increasing the power of both Walpurgisnacht and Kriemhild Gretchen. The more she went back, the more the universe itself stacked the deck against her, and now it was all but impossible. And what was worse, she had done it to herself.

Just look at her in that second to last episode, when she’s lying there bloodied and broken, when she’s about to go back yet again but stops herself. Just look at her face as her soul gem darkens as literal years of despair seep out of the defenses she had built up around herself. She knew that it was hopeless, she knew that both she and Madoka were doomed, she knew that she was seconds from finally becoming a witch after all of her efforts were for naught, and it terrified her.

But then, just as all seemed lost, Madoka herself appeared to save her, but did so through the last thing Homura wanted her to do. She took all of that karmic destiny Homura had burdened her with and made a witch that shook the very foundations of reality. Witches were removed from the equation, and Puella Magi who had succumbed to despair were simply allowed to pass peacefully instead of becoming monsters. The contract system and the advancements wasn’t removed, and the girls’ wishes weren’t negated. But the cruelest aspect of it was.

And all it cost was Madoka’s existence.

Yes, Homura was saved. Yes, Madoka was spared of dying or turning into Kriemhild Gretchen. But the person that Homura had devoted her entire existence to protecting was gone, and by her own hand. Only Homura herself was left to remember her.

Can you imagine how that must have felt, to be forced to soldier on while bearing the weight of that knowledge, to know that you had ultimately failed in your mission and had to go on without the only person that had ever meant anything to you? Sure, there was that whole “always be with you in spirit” thing, but that is a poor comfort to someone like Homura. Yes, the show ends on an optimistic note, with Homura promising to fight on in Madoka’s name, but it’s often been said that the only thing that give a story a happy ending is where you end it. And while I’m sure that many fans would have loved to believe that Homura had done just that, had fought the Wraiths to the bitter end until she was welcomed into Madoka’s arms, the sad fact of the matter is that reality is rarely ever so simple.

In The Rebellion Story we learn how true that is. Without her mission, Homura was unable to keep herself together, and despair did finally overtake her. But instead of peacefully disappearing and being taken by her love, she had made the fatal mistake of confessing to Kyubey of all people the truth about the way things were.

Now, why would she do that? Why tell Kyubey about the witches and how Madoka had changed things? Did she not suspect that he might do something with that knowledge?

Personally, I think she did. Maybe not consciously, but I feel that deep down inside, she hated what the world had become, not because the Law of Cycles had removed a significant portion of the pain, but because Madoka had to erase herself in order to create it. Yes, deleting witches was a net positive, but it wasn’t the positive Homura had been fighting to achieve. Madoka had made her promise to keep her from making a wish, and Homura had to execute her right after. So I do think that she told Kyubey the truth because part of her was kind of hoping he would intervene somehow and bring Madoka back.

And he did, and he did so though screwing Homura over. Again.

Within the labyrinth contained within her own soul gem, Homura build the world she had always wanted to exist. The endless loops had been washed away, and she and Madoka were fighting together in a joyful magical girl show. She worked so hard to build a place that would make her happy, but in the end she had been unable to accept even her own gift, in part because she subconsciously knew that something was off, but also because she had conditioned to be suspicious anything that seems like it would be working in her favor.

Learning the truth broke Homura yet again. She had done this. She had been the one to admit the truth to Kyubey, and he had used that knowledge to ensnare Madoka once more. Her love was again trapped by Incubators, and it was all her fault. Is there any wonder that while everyone was fighting to rescue her from herself, she was screaming for them to stop while her own familiars executed her over and over again?

Homura’s decision to rip Madoka out of the Law of Cycles and again rewrite reality is a controversial one, and I get that. But when you put aside the cool, determined badass that she presents herself as and look at the whole of her journey then it only makes sense. She was sick of it all. Sick of being manipulated by the Incubators and their contracts, sick of having her desires denied by the Law of Cycles, sick of being held back by her own inadequacies. She was sick of losing, and that was going to end.

The movie is called The Rebellion Story, and that title couldn’t have been more accurate. Because at the end, Homura rebelled against everything: against the Incubators, against Madoka, against herself, against a world that seemed set against her from the beginning. She forcibly seized control, dominating Kyubey and his ilk, ripping Madoka from the Law of Cycles and reprogramming her to be sweet and docile, and even erasing Madoka and Sayaka’s friendship so that Sayaka wouldn’t interfere. In the end, she finally won.

And she still hated herself. Even after overcoming everything and embracing her status as the world’s new Devil, we see her own familiars throwing trash at her.

And that is the Homura I came to love. The icy, mysterious warrior that she was presented as just didn’t do anything for me. But the broken girl who seemed to have the entire world set against her, that had what little happiness she had stolen from her time and time again, that made mistake after mistake as she tried to fight against the unfairness of everything and constantly made things worse, that finally said “Fuck it” and forced the world to bend under her will but still wasn’t happy at the end it all? Well, just look at the stories I’ve written, the kinds of stories I gush about. That is a story I can sink my teeth into. That is a character worth investing in, because she is just so damned fascinating!

Now, I’m not going to say that she’s my favorite character now, but her story is the one I’m the most interested in. And when we finally get that long-awaited follow-up, I’m definitely going to be swooning over any and all KyoSaya interactions and watching what happens to Mami and Madoka with rapt attention, but the bulk of my investment will be in Homura’s story, because in a very strange way, her story feels the most human.

Now I just wonder how many people I’ve managed to piss off.

[linkspooky]

Is the story in Owari no Seraph good? Heard it's just your average shonen manga.

Thank you for the question, anon! Owari no Seraph is not just “your average shonen manga” it’s THE AVERAGE SHONEN MANGA, it is every single average shonen manga ever combined into one and that’s why I love it.  I might as well turn this into a reccomendation post to answer your question.

You Should Read Owari no Seraph

Owari no Seraph is like several different shonen manga sewn together in a horrible frankenstein’s monster, but once again as I often say on this blog tropes are not bad things. They’re all about the execution. Owari no Seraph is like, one of five exorcism/demon fighting manga published by shueisha right now (Chainsawman, Kimetsu no Yaiba, Jujutsu Kaisen, Ao no Exorcist, Owari no Seraph). It stands out by raising the stakes as high as they can possibly go, it has no reservations at all over the fact that it’s a tropey, pulp, nightmare. It knows exactly what it is and just tells it’s story anyway. 

So here are a few things I like about the manga that make me want to reccomend it. 

1. The World

The worldbuilding of Owari no Seraph sounds like it was made up on the spot. This is coming from someone who has read the entire manga through twice, and every single english translation available of the spinoff novels. It basically goes like this, there are exorcists who fight demons with magical swords. Then there are vampires but they’re way too strong for an exorcist to ever defeat. Demons are former humans, or maybe former vampires. Eventually the exorcists learn to put demons in swords and allow them to possess you. The world ends because of things called seraphs which are children that were experimented on to turn them into angels to call the end of the world. 

It’s basically a mythology where every single supernatural creature exists simulatenously. It reminds me a lot of the Buffy mythos, where all sorts of supernatural creatures exist and vampires sort of just reign supreme as the strongest. 

While it is kind of a mess, it works well for the story. It basically creates a world where literally everything is out to kill humans, and the humans themselves can just barely fight back. It makes humans seem even more smaller and insignificant in the world they are inhabiting because there are just so many types of magical creatures that are infinitely stronger than them. 

What I love about the exorcists in this manga is how physically weak they are. Literally no matter what desperate strategy they pull, even if they are a once in a generation genius, or from some kind of chosen bloodline, every single character in the manga is desperate to survive at any time. No victory is ever achieved without tons of losses. The characters backs are perpetually against the wall. 

The exorcists really do come off like underdogs just trying to survive the extinction of humanity, because the world of magic is just so overwhelming and unknowable to the human characters. It’s like if the world exploded and every single fantasy creature came to life at once, and they all hated humans and wanted to stamp them out. 

Another thing I like about the vampires is that they’re not X Men. Sometimes when writing vampires authors just make them X Men, as in rather than being vampires themselves they just all have some kind of mutant power like flame conjuring or shapeshifting. The vampires are at the top of the hierarchy in this world because of their sheer strength alone, each one of them is a powerhouse of raw strength. 

2. Yuichiro Hyakuya

Yu’s character is interesting because it’s so weird and offputting but only if you read far enough in the manga to realize why. Yu’s attitude is something that is eventually deconstructed to horrifying effect much later on in the manga.  People often call him a boring shonen protagonist who only cares about fighting and friendship, but to me he’s always been more like Gon. That is a deconstruction of the “Pure-Hearted Hero” protagonist. 

Yuichiro tends to naturally attract people around him, especially damaged and lost people because of how accepting and trusting he is. The problem is Yu is able to accept everything because you get the sense that he doesn’t care. He just doesn’t even think about or consider the consequences of his actions at all, or even how his actions will affect other people.

Yu cares about the people he considers family and that’s it. The rest of the world might as well not even exist. And this is never once framed as a good trait. Yu just doesn’t think at all before he does something, and it’s not even him being stupid it’s him being suicidally reckless. He just kind of assumes that if he wants it everything should work out in his favor.

It’s gotten to the point where people around him are constantly bringing up the consequences of some of the reckless things he wants to try and he just shrugs it off. Somebody warns him reviving the dead is a bad idea, and he just says “but I want my family back.” He trusts and allies himself with complete enemies if he thinks it can return his loved ones to him. 

Yu doesn’t actually trust anyone. He just has the part of his brain where he distrusts people completely shut off. His complete and total blind faith in people ends up becoming a bad trait because as much as it brings his comrades closer to him, you get the sense that he just doesn’t care what happens in the end. As the manga progresses what seems like a typically all loving hero just becomes more and more distant from other people. The fact that he trusts without question is presented as something that makes him seem inhuman.

3. Shinoa Hiragi

Owari no Seraph is one fo the few manga where the female of the main character trio is just as connected and important to the plot as the two boys. Shinoa’s arc about learning to love and trust people also works because she was raised in a family with no love at all that only ever saw her as a tool.

Shinoa is probably the most complex of the main three characters because she engages with everyone behind a mask, but she’s also not a perfect actress. What’s great about her is that she’s flawed, she’s kind of a mess. Unlike her older sister who can manipulate anyone flawlessly, Shinoa is much more human behind the mask and has a difficult time repressing it. 

Shinoa’s arc is as central to the story as Yu’s. However she’s also his opposite and a good complement to him because while Yu is wild and reckless Shinoa is reserved and overly cautious. It’s not a fear of being weak in the same way Yu is afraid to be weak, what Shinoa fears is being out of control. However because she’s not the genius her sister is for Shinoa she only ever really has the illusion of control over situations. 

It’s a female character where basically the entire conflict of her character revolves around her agency, and trying to be her own person separate from her sister. Which is so rare for female characters to be that well developed and present such an interesting conflict. Which is another thing I likie about ONS, it’s a mishmash of tropes but it always uses those tropes very smartly. She fits in so well with the series because basically everyone in the series knows they’re already doomed and we see how each of them cope with it and struggle against it. 

4. Guren Ichinose 

Guren is hands down not only the most complicated character in the series, and also one of the best mentor characters of all time, he’s also where the excellent moral ambiguity of the series itself shines the brightest. Guren is basically the second protagonist of the series at this point because he has his own light novel spinoff and is just as important to the plot as Yu. 

What makes Guren compelling is that he’s not a bad guy at all, but he ends up committing some of the worst deeds in the manga. It once again solidifies the theme that life is more complex than bad people do bad things, sometimes in fact good people do a bad. Guren is great because he’s always one person who is basically struggling against the whole world, and sometimes you get the sense he wants to destroy it because that’s the only way he can throw his burdens off of him. 

But at the same time, this cold blooded guy whose constantly doing terrible things, and is desperate and hungry for power really is just a person who wants his friends to be safe and happy. Guren is someone whose lost literally everything to an uncaring world, his family, his close friends, his lover, he’s also been kicked on and stamped down his entire life. You understand why Guren would end up becoming such a selfish person because literally the world has always told him that he doesn’t deserve to be in it, he’s not a part of this story.

It’s like the struggling of a side character whose not even involved in the plot forcing their way in and trying to be the main character. Guren is so much weaker than everything around him, but he’ll keep fighting. And it’s amazing when Guren does literally every single thing, sacrifices everything, throws away everything and then he still fails in the end. That’s what makes his character compelling because he never gets what he wants no matter how desperately he struggles but he still keeps on fighting. 

His foiling with Yu is also incredible, and you get the sense that Guren is a worse person because he actually cares about things unlike Yu who is so reckless and doesn’t even think about the consequences of his actions.

5. The Conflict

Here’s how the manga starts. The world ends. You’ve been enslaved for several years by vampires that suck your blood. You finally escape but all of your family that was introduced died in the first chapter.

It’s overload but yet, Owari no Seraph always manages to keep these stakes consistent. It’s a manga that actually feels like the characters are struggling at the end of the world. Literally every single person there is past the point of no return in one way or another, and yet they keep fighting.

Which is what makes every fight fresh and compelling to read. Because the main characters don’t even win that often, or if they do win it’s a minor victory that’s evened out later by some loss. Every battle is for survival, not gaining territory. Which really helps along the themes of the story as well to create this picture of a severely broken world, where individual people are all desperate to band together to survive. 

The story itself also never grows stale or stagnant because things are constantly developing and changing around. You never feel one arc drags on too long. Because every single faction is just trying to survive, enemies from yesterday will become allies today and you end up getting to understand the perspective of each faction. 

If you can get past the premise, the manga is actually pretty grounded. Most of the emotional stakes comes from the connection between the characters and the fear of losing them, and that’s the primary focus of the story. It’s about inhuman tragedy and circumstances, and a world that’s so fantastical it’s almost impossible to believe, but there are humans still in the middle of it trying to survive and live even though their lives are insignificant in the grand scheme of things.