#THE STREAMING HEART PREVIEW I CANT

[kotoal1011]

MY FUCKING GODDDD KOTO.KO SOUNDS SO GOOD I'M NOT OKAY

[awsugar]

best mcr songs and why

ok well my top 5: heaven help us, boy division, deathwish, vampires, famous last words

only the first two are in specific order

heaven help us has been my favorite mcr song for a looooooong time and it’s like. MY song. everyone i know knows what is my song. when i listen to it in the car, before the tour even started, i envision myself on barricade hearing it live and i CRY!! every time, like i’ve cried in a full face of makeup listening to heaven help us on the way to work multiple times. it’s the best….it’s everything. the first time they played it live on tour in europe my friend who i had never spoken to on the phone before CALLED ME AT WORK to tell me about it and i had to go hyperventilate in the bathroom. i held out hope all tour hoping i would get ut at one of my shows and i DIDNT!!! when tour was like over and they played it twice in la i literally was sitting in my bed SOBBING! at like 2am on the east coast…but listen i’m putting out the energy for them to play it at wwwy….surely they will have the time to play the bsides! or at least one of them. i’m serious like ok yes, hearing tbp live in full twice is going to change the trajectory of my life all over again!! i cant even imagine me and all my friends together hearing the heart monitor start without thinking well surely someone is going to projectile vomit…like. it’s that. it’s that serious. i’m going to rethink and grace and shit my pants and cry and scream and i may need to be airlifted out of the las vegas festival grounds. but heaven help us….i cant die until i get heaven help us!!

boy division just. fuck. it slays. i remember when it leaked. like the night before it came out there was a preview of it on like german amazon or something 😭 and i remember i kept listening to those 30 seconds over and over again and CRYING!!!! like sobbing, if i could get my og macbook to turn on i have really embarrassing pics of myself bawling on photo booth FHDEIKEK. but also i remember thinking, when it came out, i ALWAYS thought like oh my god this is going to go so hard live. SO HARD. and then they broke up and every single time i listened to it i thought about how we would never get to hear it live and what a damn fucking shame that was. and then they reunited and i went to the shrine and they played make room and i was like ooooooh. well now there is a REAL chance that i could hear boy division one day. i manifested it for the 2.5 years between that show and the tour and when i saw the eden 1 setlist leak before the show and boy division was on it i actually like almost shat in the office at work. and then yes they played it at my first show on the tour mk1 and like at least half of my shows on the tour i swear i made that happen by sheer force of will.

deathwish. just always been one of my favorites, it goes SO hard, it’s so fun to sing, it really like the melody of it just pulls on my heart it tugs it makes me so melancholy so. i don’t even know what feelings it invokes it just makes me FEEL. this big bubble in my chest. and the lyrics are so good like it’s really a quintessential mcr song for me. no one else writes music like that.

vampires is just like. idk the iconic. the first single. it “locked in that darkness” i remember when they played it for the first time in philly, bc we were all camping for albany which was the next night and we were watching the stream around a someone macbook in the queue and when vampires started ohhhh it was over!!! they played it at my first show in 2011 and even though i have like a horrible memory especially for my childhood/teenage years and i don’t REMEMBER my first mcr show i always like remembered the fact that vampires was like the best live performance of a song i’d ever heard, and i have been to a LOT of shows and i’ve seen a LOT of bands and vampires never fails!

and flw, listen…i know people like to hate on it!!! idgaf. it will never get old. i will never tire of it. it will never not hit me so hard. i remember being a depressed teenager and laying in bed at night not able to sleep just listening to flw over and over and over in order to make it through. plus hearing the crowd sing the bridge at every show ever…it’s the most magical thing in the world to me!!!!

[desn2steph]

Week 8 - items list and desc v1

List of things for design research

------ PS3 & PSVITA: My Introduction to Videogames

Videogames - they quite possibly changed the trajectory of my life. I might have become a biologist or pursued something considered 'more important,' but videogames led me down a more creative path. Is this a bad thing? No. I'm in the field of design because of videogames; they've nurtured my creative inclinations. I'm even writing this essay because of videogames.

Recently, a videogame inspired a shift in my approach to interaction design. I used to find interaction design uninspiring. However, that changed when I played 'Persona 4: Golden' and 'Persona 5.' These games made me realize that Interaction design doesn't have to be boring. Interaction design doesn't have to remain the same bleak thing over and over again. Which I find the industry right now is encouraging.

CDs: An Inspiration from Music

Music is a tremendous source of inspiration for me, serving as a driving force behind my design work. My earlier design projects were heavily influenced by music, and these CDs and vinyl records stand as symbols of my deep passion for it.

Back when I was a kid, during the days when I used to download MP3 files onto my phone, mere music wasn't enough for me. I wanted an album cover to accompany the music. If a file lacked an album cover, I would painstakingly add one using MP3 file editing software. This connection between the album cover and the music held significant importance for me. I believed that the album cover should offer a preview of what the music would sound like.

While most of my music experience nowadays revolves around MP3 players and music streaming apps, I've to buy CD’s and Vinyl because of the experience that it comes with when holding a record or a cd. It comes with posters, liner notes, lyrics and just having something solid on your hands and putting it in a record player or a CD player is an experience by itself that cant be replicated by a music streaming service. So here I have chosen to share to you my collection rather than a phone with Spotify on it

Gaming Laptop. I do everything on my gaming laptop. I Work on this gaming laptop, I game on this gaming laptop, I design on this gaming laptop and I “live” on this gaming laptop. Though it is not perfect but this gaming laptop is mine. I wish it was lighter, I wish it had better battery life, I wish, It had more storage space but this gaming laptop is mine.

This gaming laptop also represent my internet footprint and my internet identity. Im a kid that existed in video games and the internet. Unlike previous designers, if someone is a fan

Those Notebooks.

These notebooks archive some of my old drawings. Before I was really into graphic design and choosing to pursue it as my career. I was character designer by heart that means before designing posters I was designing characters, the clothes they wear, how they look like, what they are and who they are that was what I was designing. This notebook also includes the early drawing of my own personal brand called “Max Stookie”. Max Stukie is my artist’s name. the music I create, the art that I create, and the character designs are all from an artist Max Stukie. While Max Stukie and me are the same person. I keep all the professional stuff and graphic design as myself and Max Stukie represent the more creative hobbies and illustrator side of me. These notebooks also represent him.

So, yes when I was a kid around 13 years old, I was already designing.

The Holy Bible.

Though the Holy Bible had little visual influence in my design directly, I think I can easily say it has influenced the whole way I think about things overall. As a Christian this book is important to me because its what guides me in life and what to do.

Biblical stories and Catholic art have always inspired me. the holy visions and trying to achieve greatness for the glory of God is a great force that pushes me to go further and further.

When I do work, I sometimes think about my actions will this action I’m about to do glorify God? Will this work I will create show my faith in him? If no, I do my best to avoid it. There already have been instances of commissions I had to turn down because I believe it was against my principles.

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Casio F-91W

This watch keeps me humble in a era drowned by technology. Casio helps me disconnect rather than buying a watch that is always connected I choose the humble Casio F-91W to always be by my side through work and through leisure. This watch represents my refusal to join the world that is always connected to the internet. Though I don’t hate smart watches I just feel like for me personally being 24/7 connected has already affected my life negatively, I don’t want another piece of technology that will tie me up to the internet.

 Casio F-91W also represents another side of me, the side of me that misses the older world, or nostalgia. If you knew me or have seen how I have composed this poster you can tell that I still cling on to “outdated” aesthetics. Like ascii or the consolas font. Again, I believe todays trendy design is too bleak and too corporate. Nothing has a soul anymore unlike the designs of the past (or maybe this is just my nostalgia goggles glued in a bit to tight). This watch represents the joyful past, and the edgier aesthetics of y2k. everything just feels a bit too safe these days and designed to sell a product. No one is jumping across the line to achieve something cool, fun or most importantly groundbreaking. Posters that makes me go “woahhh that’s cool” are rare these days. I salute to those spacemen who pursue designs that are controversial in the eyes of mainstream.

================================================================== Printer.

my humble home printer. The printer is the designer’s best friend and worst enemy, specifically this printer though? Its only my worst enemy. If I had to print something of quality I will not use this printer, but for low quality? This printer…. Does its job. this printer most important feature to me is the scanner. The scanner works well but I hater the fact that I have to log in just to use it, yes, log in to my HP DESK JET account just to SCAN! But because this is the most easily accessible printer and the only one I have at the moment I have to make do.

I had a long relationship with printer before my UX/UI class, printers were my primary source of aesthetic. During my high school years, I would use the scanner to break an image, print it and keep scanning it till it comes out all Janky and messed up. This was where my post-digital roots started. when my design teacher Mr Kearny introduced me to post-digital my reliance to the printer doubled. I believe the printer was the portal from the digital to physical and by tampering that portal we achieve something destroyed and messed up, a bad print job is both human error and printer error. The verry essence of the post-digital aesthetic, nothing is perfect. even if you designed the perfect printer, human input will make the output possibly imperfect

======= Pen

As they say, the pen is mightier than a sword. This good ol ball point pen represents the most basic tool a designer will be using. The mighty pen. Regardless of what kind of designer you are or even what field of career you’re in the pen will be a trusty tool you will be needing.

I have used a pen for most of my designs. I plan everything on a piece of paper then draw it using an ink pen. An ink pen is permanent, forces you to be more careful and forces you to accept those mistakes, and sometimes those mistakes will be an essential part of your design, and that’s a wisdom that I believe in. even though I already own a apple pen and an Ipad the classic pen will never be outside of my toolset for creation.

The pen is a tool to create drafts, plans, stories, sketches and even a bored buster. The pen will never die the pen will live forever. I think even if technology advances to a point that having a digital table with a pen is cheap and accessible. I believe the mighty pen will be used forever.

Bass Guitar

Have I mentioned to you yet how I love music. other than visual design I also create music and I don’t create music, I design music. just like visual design, or UX/UI design, music also has to be designed, it’s an experience, it tells a story or a message. Obviously, you don’t just write music or tell a story as it is through music, no. you must pick the parts of the story that is important that you can fit into a song, what instruments and timbre does this song need? How long will it be and what will be my goal? What will be the audience reaction to this song, and how will create this song? Though these rules are arbitrary these days because really, what is music?

As I mentioned on previously, I’m very musically driven person. Sometimes I feel like I have an ability to translate music into digital design and vice versa, this is my design superpower.

I’ve chosen this bass to represent that part of me, though I have other musical instruments I could have shown you, I chosen the bass guitar because of the visuals I have attached to it. The memories and the fact it’s the first instrument I picked up.

=========

Wallet.

It’s simple really, MONEY MOVES. I’m probably more inclined to do work if you pay me a reasonable amount compared to doing something that is volunteer work. MONEY MOVES, I moved to UX/UI design because I believe I can make more money from this career.

MONEY MOVES.

IPAD

This is my iPad represent Max Stukie the character designer and illustrator part of me. this is one of my more important hobbies that I have been doing as a kid. It’s a more laid back and relaxed type of design because simply put it, its fun! This is the design I’ve been doing even before I even knew what design meant.

Max Stukie isn’t just a brand I made. Its also me, It’s the creative side of me and it’s the rebellious teenage side of me that still stuck inside. I fear the day that I have to let go of Max is the day I lose my creative youth. His creativity really pushed me to go further and explore creative areas that I have not explored. Max Stukie pushed me to find an aesthetic that I can stand on, and through this creative research that max Stukie has pushed me to do I finally understood how I want to represent my self in a the community of designers.

ID

This is who I am, I choose these IDs to represent me. Who I am, what I stand for and what I believe in. these questions were a difficult thing for me, around 2021 I was asking this question for the first year of university as part of our concertina, because I realized I never really asked who I am. I always though “who I am is who I am|” but really it isn’t that simple. Only recently have I slowly understood myself, what I am, what I stand for and what principles I believe in. Alexander Hamilton once said, “Those who stand for nothing, fall for anything” and I believe that. I thank the people who pushed me to understand myself even more and through that understanding of self I have chosen something firm to build my house on.

Traffic Cone

The humble Traffic cone is a important figure in my history of design. at one point in time I had a weird obsession with traffic cone, first started as a gimmick in my Instagram stories and it devolved into taking as much photos of traffic cones as possible. Traffic cones represents the design principles I believe in, the ideas of grit and mess of it; The clean orderly industrial design forged in a factory, so each one is the same; the orange and Hi-Viz that demands the audience’s attention and most often the controlled chaos that it comes with it when they’re in use with a group. Most importantly the light that shines the darkness.

Coffee

The working mans drink. If music drives my creativity, then coffee drive me literally. I get migraines when I don’t drink my coffee, I don’t work as well if I don’t have my coffee. As much as I hate to admit it, I’m dependent to coffee and I will suffer without it. I need to design with coffee, and I get mental clarity and focus with it. My ideas shine and flows when I’m boosted by caffeine, but sometimes you might get ideas of a schizophrenic man.

Idea of dependency to caffeine haunts me, because in my personal principles I prefer not to be dependent on any substance, but coffee has gotten a hold of me and the society around me. Is there something wrong with it? No, I wish  not to be dependent to it.

95bFM poster

95bFM has served me well allowing me to experiment my ideas with an actual outside audience watching, I’m like an intern there. 95bFM supports the ideas that I follow of a music driven station., Its not about the money (kind of) but it’s about sharing the great works of local musician and I’m all for that. This volunteer gig I’m doing with them allows me to improve and get used to an office like environment because other than doing graphic design with them. I also get to do news for them which also allows me to have a greater understanding of the world around me, because I literally have to find and read news to write about, through this greater knowledge I can extrapolate world news into my overall designs and creation.

I believe every little thing can inspire a design even world news that has nothing to do with anything design related. like a butterfly effect it can push little things in my mind and create something with it, create stories, create visuals, create chaos and deeper understanding not only with the world and the object I’m designing but also myself and how I fit in a society, a community and what I can do about it to make the world slightly a better place through my designs as well as my creations.

==================================================================

Swiss Grid

This book taught me the importance of staying in line and follow rules. The essentials of modern design all stem from following rules and understanding what is essential and what is not. This book represents my understanding of the complexity behind simplicity. Something simple isn’t just simple. Behind is rules, lines, principles, and deep thought buried in it that the audience don’t see. Though my designs don’t reflect Swiss and modern design and most of my designs are not simple either, my reliance to the rules has taught me how to break them the right way. Since I was a kid I was taught how to follow rules and even growing up as a Christian I was taught the importance behind them. The older I get the more I realize some of these rules are arbitrary and useless, rules that don’t accept progression or self-expression; rules that doesn’t even follow my beliefs, though still even with this epiphany I still understood its importance. I understand why rules has to exist and why we must follow them. A world without rules is chaos and a world full of rules is depressing. I finally learned how to follow the thin line in between both worlds of Post modernism and modernism; and I have chosen a pdf printed copy of the Swiss Grid book to represent my rebellion and my allegiance to the rules.

Phone

The phone, we can never get away from it. Its around us and we need it. Our reliance to our technology that fits in out pocket has excelled humanity to the starts, figuratively and literally. Our phone clearly has changed how we designed things. for a lot of Instagram designers, you will see a trend of having over simplified posters and large text for readability since because its target audience is on Instagram. Though print isn’t dying, pocket screens will definitely a hard competition. A device that can show any information you want through a pic of a QR code or a download that your guest can access anytime, compared to a Pamphlet that has to be printed a million copies cause bigger and more expenses. These are one of the things I though about when I decided to choose to move my degree to interaction design, I don’t think print is dying but I prefer to be in the more technological side as it seems as if this is the one that is calling me. I choose this old beat-up Alcatel phone I had to represent the humble phone, the phone that change the landscape of design drastically.

THE ARCHIVE

The archive contains all the ephemera that I find valuable. A piece of historical importance in my own history. to most people all they see is a box full of posters, doodles, sketch, notes and documentation, but to me these are all piece of a puzzle that I can combine to make something new. I have always been a creator as a kid, back when I still used to live in the Philippines, we had a backyard full of stuff and junk and I would uses those junk to make something out of it, like that one time I made a taser. Back in year 12 and 13 my go to method of creation is collage both digital and physical. I always collect ephemera with me and with those dead documents will reborn a new piece of design. this box represents a grave and I’m a mad scientist that will ‘Frankenstein’ each pieces into another living piece of design

>EYE SEE YOU

The project that cemented my interest. Before this I didn’t really have a style yet. My design identity was lost in the sea of ideas I had in mind, but this project changed that. The awareness campaign zine/poster project I did in 2022 help me understand how I want to look like within my community, these are like the clothes I wear to the club. If I describe how it would look like, I like to describe it as “digital-punk with a hint of post-digital”. This aesthetic is a mix my punk origins and digital design ideas into one thing. I choose this poster to represent it as I believe this is the project that help  me understand my aesthetics.

UTorrent

[bantan]

stay gold - tl notes

its an incoherent stream of thoughts so pls dont repost anywhere thx translations here are mostly l i t e r a l see twt for the v2 of my lyric tl

[yoomgi verse]

魅惑的な Moon Light the charming/bewitching moonlight

今宵も眠らない another sleepless night (literal: tonight again can’t sleep) *japanese doesnt always have pronouns so i used a vague sentence here but in general no pronoun = assume first person. so this is rly “i can’t sleep again tonight”

月明かりを頼りに relying on the light of the moon *tsukiakari (月明かり) = moonlight but i felt it was too repetitive w the earlier line so,,, light of the moon!

君の元へ Hide and Seek hide and seek towards you *this is the literal tl, moto e (元へ) is used when heading towards something. if u want to reword so that it makes sense: “(i’m playing) hide and seek towards you” *if u treat this as a run on sentence w the prev line: “(im playing) hide and seek relying on the light of the moon” 心へと忍び込んで君の間近 creeping/sneaking into your heart, right up to you

近づくのさいつの間にか approaching before (you) know it/before (you’re) aware *again no pronoun

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[namu verse]

穢れを知らないな (you) don’t know impurity *impurity here is also defined as uncleanliness/defilement, saying shiranaina (知らないな)/don’t know is denying the impurity aka (you’re) clean/pure. if u were to reword this in twt language it’d be “impurity? dont know her”

その瞳はダイヤ your eyes are diamonds *not literally. metaphor.

どんな宝石よりも Beautiful more beautiful than any jewel/gem

何度も見惚れてしまうほど literal: to the extent (that i) am captivated (by them) countless times *aka your eyes are beautiful enough to captivate (me) constantly

君から目離せない No more can’t take (my) eyes away from you no more

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[hobi verse] *im joining lines together so they make sense

気づかれないように近づいてく Slowly (i’m) approaching you slowly so that you don’t notice

予告するよ Baby / (i’m) giving u advance notice baby / *i didnt use advance notice for the tl bc it would be repeating the word notice from the line above. i see yokoku in announcements of stuff a lot (e.g. next ep preview is jikai yokoku) so i went w notifying but if u RLY wanted to stretch it u could translate it as “im warning u baby” (unthreatening tho)

/ 無防備な君を優しくいただくのさ literal: i’ll gently take your defenceless/vulnerable/unguarded self a diff (softer) possible interpretation: i’ll gently accept your vulnerable self *muboubi  (無防備) isnt defenceless as in helpless but defenceless as in unguarded. corrected this in ver 2 of my tl as defenceless was a bit too literal *itadaku  (いただく) is to receive/accept/take something. humble form so speaker (first person) is subject

君の深いところ now your deep parts now *if u treat this as a run on sentence from prev line its “i’ll gently take your unguarded self, your deepest parts now”

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[bonus: last verse] *some lines joined together

覗き見する Moon Light the peeking/peeping moonlight *as u can tell this refers back to first verse w the charming moonlight

今宵眠らせない doesnt let (?) sleep tonight *bc of lack of pronouns u could have 1) the peeking moonlight isnt letting me sleep tonight (thanks run on sentences!) or 2) i’m not letting you sleep tonight (wiggles eyebrows)

握りしめたその手を離したくはないよ (i) don’t want to let go of the hand grasped tightly (in mine)

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so to summarise you can interpret the verses like

zzz cant sleep gonna find u --> wow ur so pretty -> (bridge) (is it called a bridge? idk) time stops --> im approaching u slowly...to take u gently... --> (bridge?) HEARTBEATS RISING --> just close ur eyes and ill show u a miracle --> ur hand’s in mine and im not letting u sleep tonight ;o

or you can have an interpretation that goes

wow the moon’s pretty --> ur so beautiful --> i accept the deepest parts of u --> the moon’s a peeping tom and i cant sleep and also there’s a hand here (???)

or you can interpret it as

stay goooooold x38

[itsmkjones]

Imagine: Hiking with Sam.

Sam x Reader

Content: Fluff & Smutty beginnings

Request @har-rystyles: Hiiii! Hope you're well, I absolutely adore your work! Your way with words is just beautiful. If it's alright, could I request a Sam/Reader fic? Loads of fluff, with a large helping of smut on the side; perhaps where the reader is interested in photography? A walk through the woods with Sam and her camera, or small intimate moments where the reader cant help but capture every detail of Sam that she adores- take it wherever you want! Thank you Xx

Salt mingled in the cool morning breeze, drifting through the forest carrying the scent of the sea from the west. The relaxing psithurism soothed and excited your mind drawing unending waves of energy despite the early hour. As the crisp air kissed your cheeks you grinned unrestrained at the path before you as if the babble of the creek to your right spoke amusing tales to the canopy of new green above. Lingering snow in the pockets of shadows patched the browns of tree bark with bright white allowing the infantile shoots of grass and flowers to appear in the richest of greens. You paused on the path leaning back ten degrees to view the scene through the lens of your camera. You twisted the focusing ring to compensate for the wide landscape and clicked.

“Did you get a good shot?” Sam’s voice; as soft as the spongy soil below your boots, warm like the dancing rays of sunlight drifting through the leaves, and as clear as the brook following the path, asked.

He stood in stealth like silence behind you, body heat mingling between his chest and your back, his breath whispering over your neck. You smiled happily. His company on this adventure of yours enticed joy to well in your chest often provoking the question, “is it a sin to be this happy?”. You tipped the camera to view the picture preview, letting Sam look over your shoulder.

“I think so.” You glanced at him, watching as he studied the picture with considerate attention. “What do you think?”

His lips parted in a fleeting grin. “It’s good, real good.”

Your eyes flickered over the features of his face in rapt interest. Sam Winchester was an ever changing work of art. Emotion and expression twisted, toyed, and colored every inch of his face, whether it was the way his lips twitched in different levels of amusement or disappointment, or the way his brows knitted and smoothed with sympathy or realization- in those fleeting moments the essence of art was born. Perhaps, it was his features, so alike the pallet of the forest you loved.

“What?” Sam chuckled softly as he noticed your staring. “Do I have something on my face or something?”

You shook your head softly, a whimsical smile gracing your lips. “Just thinking…”

“Yeah?” You caught sight of a dimple as he grinned, eyes averted.

“Yeah.”

He scratched his jaw line just under his ear before readjusting his backpack. “So, what else do you wanna take pictures of? We still have time before we get to the top.”

You shrugged, “Whatever interests me.”

You took your time fiddling with the settings on your camera, allowing Sam to step ahead. He stopped taking a moment to look up the length of a Redwood tree. The wind sighed against his hair, tendrils of light caressing the lines of his face. Your heart slammed against your chest, breath stolen. Your camera lifted to your eye automatically. You clicked quickly, afraid to lose the moment. The camera captured the full body shot of Sam at trail’s edge. You zoomed in, trying to steady the excitement vibrating through your hands. Your finger pulled the setting to take multiple shots, then pressed down on the shutter button. Rapid clicks sounded from the camera capturing the scene. You glanced at the result.

The session showed a crystal clear image of Sam’s face bathed in the elfin light. Gold rays highlighted the length of his eyelashes, flushing the brilliance of his eyes to the surface. The color recorded was devastatingly breath taking. As you studied it you couldn’t breath nor tear your focus away. It was like staring into the brook: pale shades of river stone grey touched by flawless cerulean skies formed the backdrop for flecks of liquid amber and touches of new leaf green. As you clicked through the pictures his dark lashes lowered causing the colors of his eyes to deepen richly with every millisecond. The last few pictures were of his eyes completely closed, face luxuriously serene with pale pink lips barely parted.

“You comin’?” Sam startled you from your revere. Your head snapped, mind blank and faltering. “Y/n?”

“Yeah!” You laughed awkwardly to cover your embarrassment. “I’m right behind you!”

You trailed behind him snapping shots of the way light played in the trees and bounced off the stream, yet you always seemed to find Sam, naturally candid and strikingly beautiful. You captured images of him holding up a leaf, dipping his hands in the water, looking into the forest, and many more of him simply existing amongst nature. With every snap, you were unknowingly sucked deeper into determination, vying to record every fraction of Sam with greedy unwavering intent. It wasn’t until you reached the crest of the hill, where the forest opened to a clearing that you realized that you had forgone taking any purely nature oriented pictures. As Sam unpacked his backpack for an early lunch you forced yourself to take a few superficial and thoughtless photos of the area.

“Alright,” Sam shrugged, hands falling to slap his thighs, “All good to go, I guess.”

You flipped off the camera, capping the lens. Sam offered an adorably unsure expression as he glanced from the threadbare blanket spread out below a Pine tree to you. You lips curled as the sight warmed your chest. The spread was by no means fancy, consisting of a couple of pre-wrapped subs and two different kinds of canned soda.

“Aw, how cute!” You gushed plopping down on the blanket.

“Really?” He peered out from under his brows with reserved doubt. “You think this is cute?”

You unlooped the camera strap from your neck, rolling your head to your shoulder as relief flooded the weighted muscle. You set the camera down carefully on the edge of the blanket, then stretched across the blanket to snatch a sandwich. You smiled up at Sam earnestly.

“Of course!” Your brows came together in teasing confusion, “You brought a picnic… How is that not cute?”

Sam lowered to the blanket slowly, tongue pressed behind his teeth as he searched for words. “I don’t know… it’s not like I brought a home cooked meal and a bottle of champagne or something…”

You quirked an eyebrow, “First of all, simple can be cute. Secondly… can you even cook? Also, I hate champagne,”

He laughed softly, “Alright, alright. I guess, I just thought you’d expect more, is all.”

A hesitant vulnerability with a hint of guilt colored his features. The tender expression pulled at your heart driving affection to feel your gaze.

“Maybe I’m just easy going,” You replied with a soft shrug, “but a meatball sub can buy my love.”

“Fair enough,” His dimples reappeared as he grabbed his sandwich.

You emitted an exaggerated moaned as you bit into the sub. “God, this is good. A+ sandwich, Winchester.”

“You can thank Dean.” Sam grinned at your dramatic reaction before taking his first bite. “This is good.”

“I know…” You continued, mouth full, “The bread is still crispy and warm, and the cheese…” you moaned appreciatively, “so much cheese… so gooey…”

“Want some privacy there?”

You pouted. It lost some of its sting accompanied with puffy cheeks. Sam just shook his head with a laugh. Despite starting first, Sam polished off his food and cracked open a soda before you reached the halfway point in your sub. He pointed to your camera.

“Can I take a look?”

You shrugged automatically. He reached across the blanket, shirt pulling up his side as he stretched for the camera. A flash of tan skin caught your eye, the curve of his hip bone held it. The sight made your mind wander and you averted your gaze lost in thought. Suddenly, your brain snapped to reality. You scrambled to grab your camera first only to find Sam already sitting upright again and switching the power on.

“Wait!” You dropped the remainder or the sub to the side, bringing your feet under your knees to lean forward. “Don’t look yet!”

Sam’s face twisted into bemused confusion. “Why? You let me look before…”

You wavered, “Er, yeah, but…”

“What? Don’t tell me this is self-doubting artist type thing…” He nodded to the screen where the last picture you took appeared. “See, this is really good!”

Heat seeped under your collar rising up your neck bringing a nervous sweat to bead. “S-sam… it’s not that…”

“Then what?” He tilted his head finding your eyes with soft concern. He continued with an exhale, “But if you’re uncomfortable, then I won’t look.”

A blush bloomed over the bridge of your nose and swept across your cheeks. You closed your eyes and let out a long breath through pursed lips.

“I’m embarrassed, okay?” You peeked out at him to see him steadfastly watching you with sincere invested interest. The confession tumbled from your lips, unable to hide from his warm eyes. “I took some pictures of you.”

His brows twitched up in surprise. His face brightened, lips pulling back into beguiled flattery. “Really?”

You groaned, rocking back on your heels hiding your face in your hands. “Yes, okay? So, please give it back!”

“No!” Laughter shimmered in his voice. He pulled away as you reached for the camera. “I want to see.”

Your mouth fell open. “You’re seriously not going to give it back? I thought you were the nice one!”

“What?” His brows knitted together good naturedly. He blocked you with his elbow, fending off your grabbing. “Who says I’m the nice one?”

You shot him an exasperated look. “Literally everyone.”

“Well, considering you took my picture without asking, I think it’s fair that I get to look at them without permission.”

Words died on your tongue leaving you to gape in response. His eyebrow lifted in pointed victory before his gaze dropped to the display. You snatched your sub up, taking a rebelliously petulant bite in response. As he flipped through your pictures you eyed his back wearily. Minutes ticked by after you finished your meal, leaving you with nothing to occupy your time, forcing you to wait in building anguished anticipation. You tapped the expanse of metal atop the soda can with a fingernail. The metallic ting cut through the ambient birdsong. You inhaled sharply, spine straightening, when Sam lowered the camera. His expression was unusually indiscernible as he handed the device over. You held your breath as his tongue wet his lip.

“Not your usual stuff, but I can tell it’s still good.” He commented evenly taking a long laid-back, distinctly and annoying nonplussed sip of his drink.

You frowned. Alleviation and discontent thoughts waged a mental battle. Before your emotion could find resolve, your tongue pushed forth your incredulity, “That’s it?”

Sam lowered his soda meeting your skepticism with measured query. “What do you mean?”

“N-nothing!” You set the camera down, careful to keep it safe.

You sighed. Disappointment drifted below your gut and dry, hot emotion squeezed your heart. You heard Sam shift, but managed to keep your pre-planned pace steady instead of glancing his way. Your eyes dragged along the line of navy blanket. An excuse of natural optical movement repeated itself in your mind, but it was all too obvious you were avoiding Sam’s eyes. With a deep breath you lifted your gaze. A yelp caught in your throat, body jumping as you found Sam’s face inches away from yours. The corner of his lips twitched with a ghost of amusement, as if your surprise pleased a hidden patch of sadism. You scowled playfully. The glare vanished when his smile deepened allowing dimples to pinch his cheeks.

“So, why were you taking pictures of me?” Those fascinating eyes kept you pin to the spot. Your gaze darted between them, studying the color. They appeared slightly different in the shade of the tree and so close. Copper hues bloomed from the iris, shading between tones of brown and gold, behind lay the clearest of blues- the type of blue that could only be found in the the purest of flawless skies and virgin pools of water- jade bridged the amber to azul. A burning in your lungs alerted to reality. You exhaled a shuddering breath that caused the tips of his hair to flutter. Sam smirked.

“You’ve got pretty eyes!” You snapped defensively.

His head tilted slightly, eyelashes clicking lower hooding his gaze, bringing the browns to prominence. His gaze found your lips and for a heartbeat you could imagine his lips touching yours. “Just because of my eyes, huh?”

“Well,” You pulled back a fraction before you could lean forward. “Maybe…” He moved forward, chin tilting up, angling to catch your lips from his lower angle. “You’re distracting…”

His gaze flicked up to yours with a charming adoring smile, before falling to your lips again. His hand came to your cheek, fingertips brushing the hairline under your ear as his lips pressed into yours. You gasped at the tender warmth. A tingle like a burning feather sweeping over your heart elicited an achingly frail emotion to surface. His mouth sealed against yours in a soft deliberate reconnoitre; exploring, savoring. His fingers curled behind your neck, thumb caressing your cheek. You gasped for air as he broke away. His nose brushed against yours. You struggled to catch your breath as he waited, gauging your reaction.

“Y/n…” His husky voice retained a breathlessness.

“Sam…” You exhaled. Your vision seemed hazy as you gazed at his beautiful face, brain swimming in euphoria. “Do that again.”

He smiled, chin ducking to chuckle shyly. You touched his cheek, mirroring the gesture he was still doing, but you raked your fingers through his hair at his temple gently, sweeping through his hair, clutching his head as you moved forward to catch his lips. He leaned back, laying against the blanket as you slid beside him. You brushed back his hair, teasing and stroking his lips with a meticulous kiss. His hand slid up your spine, diving into your hair gingerly. The hand on your cheek cupped your chin. When the second kiss broke, you gaze at Sam below you with a sweet smile. He studied your face leisurely, knuckles trailing over your lips before skimming the side of your face and sliding over your brow and into your hair. A painfully fragile smile touched his lips.

“You have gorgeous eyes.” His thumb rubbed the line of your cheekbone.

Your head snapped back in surprise, “Have you seen your eyes?”

A deep chuckle vibrated in his chest, “I prefer yours.”

A tide of heat gushed against your heart. The muscle stuttering in your chest. “Damn Winchester…” A heavy breath rushed from your lungs. “That’s some line.”

Affection tinged his gaze. In an effortless movement, he rolled to his side sweeping you to your back. He pushed back a strand of hair with a callused finger, framing your face with the side of his hand as if to garner an unrestricted view of your visage. He dropped a lingering chaste kiss to your lips.

“It’s true.” He admitted. “You have the most expressive eyes…”

Your eyebrow raised accordingly. He kissed your cheek before you could respond. A blush rose under his unwavering attention despite your wavering efforts to remain calm.

“I love the way the light up when you see something you like…” He kissed your temple eliciting a delicious vibration of butterflies to flutter from your chest through your stomach and into your knees. “I love the way you get lost in your photography, losing sight in everything, but what’s on the other side of the camera.”

He kissed a tender spot beneath your ear that made you squirm. His brows lifted at the discovery, a satisfied smile following. He found your lips, his kisses still gradual and passive. You slipped behind his head, deepening the kiss. His body sank, chest flushing against your side. Seeking a new angle, he turned his head. Your teeth clashed together igniting a primal urgent need. A sudden powerful lust slammed against your core. Your fingers tightened in his hair, back arching instinctively to find his. Your mouths moved together greedily, desperation thriving with every touch. You pulled at Sam’s shirt urging him closer, vying for closeness. His hands clutched the sides of your head, holding you still as he responded in turn. His tongue slipped between your lips, the tip massaging and enticing the nerves of your tongue with practiced control, swallowing the heady moans his ministrations earned. Your hands skipped down his body, finger hooking in his belt loops. In frenzied thoughtlessness, you yanked his hips forward. You could feel his muscles tighten down his body. He paused for a beat, as his hips tilted against you, grinding against your side. A primal groan rumbled in his throat, ending his lapse of movement.

You gasped as he found the sensitive spot on your neck. Hands digging into his shoulders, you arched into him. His kisses became fervent, breaking form your lips to suck a trail down your throat and along your collarbone as he pushed the collar of your shirt lower. His hand, warm and rough, pushed up your torso finding intent in cupping over your chest. He massaged, thumb slipping below the material to toy with the hardening nub. He lowered, mouth parted in purpose. You tugged at his shirt and he paused his goal to wrestle away the material revealing the length of his toned tanned arms. You watched in fascination as he grabbed the back of his shirt’s neckline and pulled it forward. His naked torso wasn’t foreign to you, but knowing it had been revealed for your gaze and touch had a breath catch in your throat. You reached out tracing the lines of his muscles, idly following the path where twin lines disappeared beneath his jeans. He gasped holding back a small shudder when your finger dipped below the fabric teasingly.

His tongue passed over his lips, tender eyes fixated with smoldering captivation on your body as he encircled his hands about your waist and pushed up your shirt. His gaze flicked between the slow reveal of your body and the exposure of emotion in your expression. As you sat up to allow the final emancipation of the fabric, He quickly unfastened your bra, dragging his fingers over your shoulders and down your arms to expedite the divest. The articles littered the blanket in disregard as you dove together again. He grabbed your thighs, sliding his grip under your ass before yanking you from repose to straddling his lap. He kissed you hard sending your mind reeling and body aching with anticipation. Your head fell back in need of air. He spared no moment, ducking his head to seek the sensitive skin along your neck, kissing lower hands supporting your back. His mouth found the peak of your breast. His tongue flicked the nerves, evoking a gasp of pleasure, your fingers flying into his hair pulling gently as you arched your back, breasts pressing against the heat of his mouth. He moved a hand away, thumb skimming along the inside of your thigh.

“A-ah, wait!” You interrupt on a groan.

“What?” Sam pulled back quickly alarm in his voice, concern trading lust. He searched your face, “What?”

You breathed out an amused chuckle at his considerate reaction. “Protection?”

Realization widened his eyes. “Oh, that.”

“Yeah, that.” You smiled. “Unless you have that, then maybe we should stop.”

His head rolled back with a groan of disappointment. The candid reaction was unusually childish for the serious Sam you knew and you couldn’t help, but giggle at this unseen side.

“I have a condom in my wallet, but it’s probably unsafe.” He admitted reluctantly.

You slid from his lap detangling your bra from the pile of clothes. “Better safe than sorry.”

“Yeah,” He shot you a dazzling sheepish smile, “Sorry.”

You grinned pressing a quick kiss against his lips. “Don’t worry about it. I’m not going anywhere.”

Your clothes fell in place just as a group of teenagers broke from the trail into the clearing. You exchanged a guilty look with Sam before laughing at the timing. You laid back on the blanket, head resting next to Sam’s holding your camera precariously over your faces as you clicked through the pictures, explaining excitedly about your favorite aspects in each photo or what your attempted intentions were. When you finished he grabbed the camera and held it awkwardly at arms length, shaking slightly with the weight, and snapped of photo of you together.