#THE TRIP IS BAD BRO. THERE'S BUTTERFLIES BUT THEY ARE NOT FRIENDLIES.

[quesocane]

Mysteries of Zentico is fucked is there a demon/ghost/vengeful spirit? Is it just drugs? Is it all in Lupe's head? Do I have a good relationship with my sister or don't I? What is the oil drilling conspiracy about? Is it tied into the drug running conspiracy? Why do the dealers seem to sell only hallucinogens? Is Zentico actually Purgatory? Am I dead? Is LUPE JUST HALLUCINATING THE WHOLE THING? Why does she space tf out all the time??? EWHO IS DELLA I HAVENT EVEN MET HER YET BUT WE USED HER NAME FOR THAT ONE THING AND THEN WE TRIPPED BADLY FOR LIKE THREE STAGES AND WHY DOES SHE LOOK LIKE LUPE'S M O M.

[jypbae7]

Me me meeee <3 I'll request a full analysis about NCT's Johnny! 😚😚 Include errrrthing baby hahaha 18+ stuff, him as a romantic partner aka bf <3 whatever you want! I'm so excited to read this akndfkgkfn 😎😎😎❤️❤️

Johnny Suh - Natal chart

Finally finished it!! Johnny was actually the most requested member I received in my inbox! Sorry that it’s nearly the length of a novel lmao but I sectioned it to make it easier to read and navigate 💕

(Not claiming to be an expert this is just for fun please don’t take anything too seriously!) Hope this is helpful and that you enjoy it 🥰❤️

Personality: Aquarius Sun, Gemini Moon, Aqua Mercury, Virgo rising, Leo Mars

While Aqua is a fixed sign it is definitely the most adaptable of the 3 fixed signs due to the Air element of Aquarius plus the ever spontaneous Gemini moon. Most things that make the rest of us feel anxious tend not to seem that scary to fearless Gemini or cool as a cucumber Aquarius.

Natural social butterflies who love their tribe deeply and fiercely once they find them. Busy bodies who are easily bored if left unstimulated too long which will turn into crankiness if not rectified quickly. Thankfully Aqua & Gem have a zest for life that makes them quite easy to please. They are open minded and will gladly stay up till 3am talking about aliens and conspiracy theories, just like they are thrilled to go on last minute random trips just because why not (Gemini impulsivity at it’s finest lmao)

Gemini is a mutable sign unlike fixed Aquarius. This is a pretty big difference and something that goes under the radar with Aquas due to that cool as a cucumber attitude. Because they are adaptable and typically very easy going they don’t often show their stubborn aggressive sides and honestly prefer not to have to unless they are feeling extremely disrespected or pushed beyond their boundary which is a BIG let me say that again, BIG no no with Aquarius (almost as big as it is for for the water signs)

Adding to these deep inner thoughts and vast inner world that Aquarians have, his Virgo rising adds more depth and self awareness. As perfectionists and highly intellectual minds they are a lot more self critical than they let on, just like they are a lot more caring and soft than they let on. They deeply care about others and the world in general seeing the big picture in a very earthy and traditional way - good people should strive to put good out and try their very best at whatever they do. They deeply dislike mean, malicious, manipulative, or spiteful behavior or people and generally keep guarded around people they don’t know well until they feel certain of the person’s true intention. There’s nothing Virgo is more cautious of than to be swindled or hurt by someone they take it reallyy hard and they know it.

Now we alllll know his swag and confidence is legendary and we can all thank the Leo Mars placement for that and the beautiful lush shiny hair and big toothy smile (Looking at Mark, Jaemin and Xiaojun like 👁👄👁) But beyond the aesthetics and dripping confidence and charisma, Leo is another creative sign that tends to be a lot more intellectual and intuitive than people give them credit for.

When the other members call Johnny one of the scariest members you can bet it’s his aggressive fiery fixed Leo Mars which is loud and even violent when provoked enough not to mention the fixed Aquarius tornado energy...Oooof that is a lot of Fixed sign rage right there honey so let’s tread lightly with Johnny boy and appeal to his open minded and friendly nature with a gentle tone and non-pointed words during discussions and all shall be good even if there’s some disagreeing!

Honestly if the argument starts getting bad you can always distract the Gemini moon by just bringing up other interesting topics! Geminis minds move FAST and while they can process a lot of information quickly and precisely they tend to get distracted easily (but here’s the good side of that😉)

Aquarius have a deep love of family and the desire to create their own (Geminis often share this trait) they can feel a bit like outsiders or “other” from people and thus crave to build a tribe of their own - this can be friends that are lifelong deep relationship carried on no different than family or starting their own family with a partner and kids

Relationships:

Non-Romantic Relationships & overall communication style: Aquarius Sun, Gemini Moon, Aqua Mercury, Leo Mars, Virgo Rising

Built off laughter, time spent together whether its at home hanging out casually or going out for meals and fun new things to try together

Wants to bounce lots of ideas off of his closest friends and secretly loves doing creative stuff together the most - this is pretty evident if you watch JCC he’s happiest when he’s doing stuff with his bros whether it’s sporty, musical, or crafts

Does not like to be vulnerable even with those he’s close to, tends to stick to neutral and more light hearted topics of interest and conversation because he prefers to spread a good mood instead of a heavy one

If he really trusts you or has worked through it enough already to want to talk about something serious you’d better listen cause the boy drops gems of wisdom and has a really soft mushy heart

Immediately adopts his close friends as family and no matter the time apart or distance will always treat them the same

Likes friends he can learn from and take on new adventures with they satisfy the intellectual Virgo rising and Aqua & leo sign thrill needs - Gemini is all about BOTH of these

Deeply appreciates loyalty, acts of service, and quality time with his friends and family - makes his heart soooo happy BUT

He would rather fucking DIE than let you or anyone see him cry so he cries like 4 times a year at 3am in the bathroom while everyone’s asleep (HIGHKEY feel like Ten & Jaehyun are exactly like this too)

Romantic relationships and preferences: Capricorn Venus, Leo Mars, Capricorn Juno, Capricorn Eros

Mr. Johnny Suh has THREE Capricorn placements tied to love and intimacy so that’s saying something lmao

Going against Aquarius’ open mindedness and anti-traditional persona Capricorn prefers all things traditional and stable.

Very much does acts of service for his partner as a sign of affection also lots of touching and quality time.

A veryyyyyy spontaneous boyfriend/partner thanks to that Gemini moon - he either wants to stay at home in pjs and order food and have movie marathons or whisk you away on zero notice to a trip lol

Earth sign men are drawn to women who embody very flowery feminine energy and aesthetics. They prefer a “natural beauty” who can spice it up sometimes rather than a super flashy 24/7 partner. (He’s said in the past that his ideal type is Yoona which says it all lol)

Will be highly drawn and intrigued by someone with a high work ethic and high intellect. BIG bonus points if you can keep up with his sarcasm and jokes.

Earth signs are pretty physical and handsy so expect to have little personal space around him, make no mistake they enjoy this very much. He will definitely be grabbing you and picking you up often! He’ll be smirking down at you devilishly watching you get flustered backed into a corner trapped by the sheer size of his muscular body. A Capricorn male’s ego really enjoys this dynamic, trust me lol.

Also another quirky male Capricorn trait that actually applies to Aqua & Gem as well… They like to initiate all the touchy feely stuff - What I mean by that is they can get easily spooked by clinginess too early on. These three signs want romance and definitely want to feel that you’re into them but they also are innately independent and enjoy relationships where their partner can also go off into the world and thrive in their own way and meet back together in the middle. So long as you can find a happy balance, when you are together you won’t have to initiate anyways honestly because he’ll be the one pulling you.

Okay let's talk about Juno & Eros - Juno in Capricorn is about serious, loyal, long term commitment though they tend to marry later in life once they’ve already achieved the things they want to for themselves which I can see being the case for Johnny as well especially with his current career.

18+ Preferences:

Eros in Cap where to begin - high libido, stimulated by visuals and touch. Wear interesting colors, patterns, textures to catch his eyes & his hands - lacy lingerie is a plus the texture will really excite him and the feminine look will please his earthy traditional cap side. If you really wanna have him drooling throw in some spicy contrasts like a leather choker with the lace set and you’ll also set off his Aqua, Gem, and Leo placements as well ;)

Tends to bounce back and forth between fucking you like you’re a cheap groupie whore and taking his time staring you in the eyes and kissing you passionately as he’s stomach deep - no inbetween but really who’s complaining??

DOM KINK - NOT UP FOR DEBATE he has THREE Capricorn placements for fucksake meaning 3 cardinal signs which are literally called “the INITIATORS” plus all his other fixed personality placements

More of the classy rich ceo vibes kind of dom (suits, expensive cologne and jewelry, leather, black and red binds) - takes you to bougie hotels when he really wants to ramp it up and not have to care who hears. You can expect not to sleep those nights but he’ll damn sure pamper you afterwards with cuddles, food, and a spa date.

Now...with all his Air sign placements...I have to say it...he’s a kinky ass dude. Few things are off the table, but he’s also super content with “normal” stuff too. It’s more about the person and experience for him than doing the wildest things possible. So if it feels natural and right then he’s down.

Don’t be surprised if he wants to tie you up like a pretzel or role play because he’s definitelyyy going to ask. Well actually he’d probably just buy whatever outfit or binds he wanted to use and casually be like “look what I got for us baby” as if it’s matching charm bracelets or something. The good news is he’ll dress up and get into it with you and he’s super receptive to your boundaries, fantasies and making it enjoyable as possible for you too.

If you flip the script on him and suddenly break the norm either by taking the initiate/lead first or trying something new he will absolutely combust 🤯 and be in the palm of your hand staring in absolute awe and fascination till he can’t take it anymore and reclaims his spot as the one in control

Nudes, videos, and phone sex when apart are a definite and they really keep the passion burning for him which is honestly VERY important and don’t worry he’s NOT shy and you will be grateful for the beautiful collection of photos and videos 🤤

Boredom for Aquas, Gems, and Caps can quickly lead into self-sabotaging behaviors and/or wandering eyes not because they don’t value loyalty but that they really need and benefit from mental stimulation and feeling wanted so when that’s gone they can pull away

Honestly pretty much any type of lingerie or outfit will turn him on because the most arousing part for him is knowing that you spent time doing such a naughty thing for his sake

Breeding kink - 3 earth placements and has said himself in interviews he would’ve started having kids at 25 if he wasn’t an idol soooooo that’s a definite. He imagines you pregnant with his baby and it makes him super soft and warm which quickly turns to super turned on. He loves the primal marking aspect of claiming you in such a way and also watching you unravel to the point of begging him to do it. Even if it’s just “play” he loves it and will probably think about it a lot more than you know. If you ever do it for real he will be utterly and completely obsessed with you forever and be practically more excited about all the stages of your pregnancy than you are

[godsofhumanity]

I adore your Titan HCs, do you have any for the younger generation?

*jotaro kujo voice* YES! YES! YES! YES!

❤ warning: long post ahead! ❤

PROMETHEUS

okay full disclaimer- Prometheus is my favourite titan <3

i imagine him to be that guy that you bring home to meet your parents and they instantly love him... he's the guy that other parents see and are like "yeah he's a good kid, you should be more like him".

i think Prometheus does have a little bit of a mischievous side, but he's NOT immoral.

he enjoys good pranks and funny jokes, but he's not obscene- he's just cheerful.

i also think Prometheus is very intelligent. from all of the younger generation, i think he's the smartest and the wisest.

Prometheus is also very considerate and gentle. i don't think he's the kind to yell or shout.

he doesn't get "angry" as much as he gets "disappointed" (which we all know is worse T-T).

during the Titanomachy, the original myths say that Prometheus sides with Zeus, but i wanted to elaborate on this further- my hc is that Prometheus didn’t just side with Zeus, he had, for some time before he even knew Zeus existed, been going around and rallying the other younger Titans to form a resistance.

i think that he grew up around Cronus’ palace and watched Cronus as he slowly corrupted himself, and Prometheus knew that it was time for change. 

so i think that Prometheus and a few of his cousins had a little superhero group going on, and when they finally met Zeus, i think Prometheus was essentially Zeus’ right-hand man. i don’t think they always saw eye-to-eye, but i think Zeus appreciated Prometheus’ advice and leadership skills, and this just makes the fire incident all the more tragic </3

about the fire incident- i think that Prometheus has a genuine love for humanity. to him, humans are the children of the gods and he believes that it's the gods’ responsibility to take care of them.

which is why he risks his life to grant humanity fire- he knows how important it is for them to survive, and his heart bleeds every time he sees the gods abuse and interfere with them </3

in a previous set of hc's (scroll down to the Cronus section), i mentioned that i think Prometheus' love for humanity began as a child when he saw Cronus create the first age of man- the Golden Age.

i think he was quite captivated by these living beings not born from the gods, but molded and shaped by them in their image. and i think that really impacted him deeply.

Prometheus' wife is Hesione, and i think that when Prometheus stole the fire from Zeus, he did it because he knew that Hesione is a strong goddess, and he knew that she'd support him (which i think she does!). i think his whole family shares his love for humanity.

when Prometheus was chained to the rock, i think Deucalion was still very small and didn't quite understand where his dad had gone, so i have this hc that when Deucalion grows up, he actually goes to the rock where his dad is chained and they talk it out- and Prometheus expects that Deucalion will be full of hate for him because he left them all alone, but in fact, Deucalion is a lot like Prometheus, and he actually really looks up to his dad and he’s proud to be Prometheus’ son, and he’s proud to help humanity the way his dad did :)))

more Prometheus hc's as well Atlas, Menoetius, Anchiale and Epimetheus hc's here <3

HELIOS

i think Helios is a bit of goofball.

in my head, he’s this incredibly handsome and elegant looking titan... he looks so cool and he’s turning heads when he walks.. but then he trips on the pavement because he got distracted looking at a frog on the sidewalk.

Helios is very kind, i think.

in the myths that he appears in, it’s usually because he’s seen something happening to someone somewhere and now someone else wants to know what’s up so they consult him- and it’s occurred to me that Helios literally never refuses to help.

he helps Demeter when Persephone went missing, he told Hephaestus when he saw Aphrodite and Ares having an affair. he helps his granddaughter, Medea, even after she commits a bunch of atrocities. i think at his core, he’s just a very amiable titan.

i think he does have a bit of an ego. he’s proud of who he is and who is family is. he knows that he’s important and that the work he does is important. but Helios isn’t arrogant or boastful about it. he values honour and despises cowardice.

Helios is very energetic. when he gets excited, i think he jumps around a lot and he just wants to tell everyone and anyone about what’s made him so excited.

in some myths, they say that Helios’ wife was Perse, an Oceanid, but my hc for him is that he doesn’t really have one wife- he has many consorts, and i think he doesn’t really care for settling down.

he’d think of himself as a romantic.

also, Helios is very paternal. i think he loves his children more than anything else in the world. he probably shows pictures of his kids to everyone, “hey have you seen my daughter? she literally just turned some guy’s friends into pigs,, isn’t she awesome? #prouddadmoment”

i don’t think that Helios is the brightest bulb in the shed. he’s not stupid, but i don’t think he’s an intellectual genius the way i’d say Prometheus probably is.

in the previous section, i mentioned the idea that the younger titans had a little resistance group, and i think Helios was a part of this group.

i have this brotp idea that consists of Prometheus, Helios and Pallas being bros. i think Prometheus brings the brains, Helios brings the looks, and Pallas brings the brawn.

i’ve always wondered why the younger titans never seem to have that much of a role in Olympus- i mean, it’s always Zeus and his siblings, despite the other titans being quite powerful (i mean, Helios is literally the Sun). my hc for this is that after Prometheus was so brutally punished by Zeus for the fire incident, everyone was pretty hurt- i mean, they were closer to Prometheus than to Zeus, so seeing him being punished like that was just extremely sad and heartbreaking for the rest of the titans.

i think as a result of the incident, the rest of the titans kinda distanced themselves from Olympus. no one wanted to be there anymore because it felt wrong.

i like the idea that Helios visits Prometheus at his rock often, and they sit and chat and Helios tells him about everything that’s happening :)

SELENE

i think that Selene is the eldest of Hyperion’s children. first came Selene, then Eos, and then Helios- the moon is followed by the dawn which heralds the coming of the sun and the start of a new day.

Selene is very tall. i imagine her to look very beautiful, but also very intimidating.

while her siblings are described as having numerous lovers, i don’t think Selene is much of a romantic. the only love of her life was the mortal Endymion.

i think Selene is very guarded. she comes across to people who don’t know her as cold and aloof, but that couldn’t be further from the truth- in fact, i think Selene is very emotional, but she’s not vocal about it.

she expresses her feelings through actions rather than words.

just as i think Helios was part of Prometheus’ little resistance force, i think Selene and Eos were as well.

as siblings, i think Selene, Eos and Helios are super close- they are quite inseparable. they’re all very protective of each other as well, and they’d defend each other at any cost.

EOS

Eos is the middle child in Hyperion’s family.

i think she’s very energetic and passionate. she’s incredibly friendly and not-shy.

as the goddess of dawn, i think she generally is a pretty gentle soul, but she can also be very loud.

i think she has more than a short temper- it’s a fleeting temper. she’ll start yelling and screaming, but then she’ll see a butterfly and she’ll calm down immediately.

Eos is also a little whimsical. she can be indecisive about what she wants or what she feels- that’s not to say that she’s deceiving. i don’t think she has a deceptive bone in her body- she always says what she’s thinking, maybe sometimes without a filter.

but even so, i don’t think Eos plans ahead. she’s a live-in-the-moment type of girl. 

in the Eos-Tithonus myth, when Tithonus starts to age because Eos forgot to gift him eternal youthfulness to go with his immortality, Eos takes pity on the poor guy and turns him into a cicada- and even though it was kinda Eos’ fault that Tithonus was suffering from old age to begin with, i think it was a kind gesture that she relieved his suffering, rather than just ignoring him.

related to cicadas- i think Eos love bugs and critters and stuff like that. she loves all animals, and that includes little insects.

there’s a myth where Eos sleeps with Ares and incurs Aphrodite’s wrath- Aphrodite punishes her to be filled with insatiable lust and that’s why Eos kidnaps a lot of pretty boys. but tbh, i like the idea that Eos, at her core, is just naturally a lover.

i think she’s a bit of romantic, and she falls in love easily.

i think she appreciates typical romantic sentiments- roses, and chocolate.

of course, i think her greatest love is Astraeus, her husband (more about him below ^-^).

more Eos hc's here :D

PALLAS

Pallas is one of the titans who doesn't really have too much lore.

the Latin author Hyginus calls Pallas "the giant", and he was assumed to be the titan god of warcraft, so this makes me imagine Pallas to be decently tall, and muscular.

Pallas in my head is pretty stoic. i don't think he's all that verbal with his emotions.

in saying this, i don't think he's averse to saying what he feels- he doesn't think that emotions are a bad thing, he just doesn't express it too much.

earlier in this hc set, i mentioned my hc that Prometheus, Helios and Pallas have a brotp. i think that Prometheus and Pallas, in particular, are really close- Pallas is the son of Crius who was thrown into Tartarus for siding with Cronus, so i imagine that Pallas and his brothers must have grown up with Prometheus and his siblings.

related to his domain of warcraft, i think Pallas is a really good fighter. i think he likes to fight, but he's very honourable.

if he lost in a fight, i don't think he'd be a sore loser, or he'd rage about it- he'd accept his defeat with grace and dignity, and he'd acknowledge the strength of his opponent.

in my previous set of hc's for the elder titans (scroll down to Eurybia's section), i mentioned that although Pallas likely would have sided with Cronus rather than Zeus during the Titanomachy in the original myths, my hc is that Pallas sided with Zeus instead.

this ties in with my hc that Pallas is an honourable and noble titan.

Pallas' wife is Styx and i have this hc that while on a hunt, Pallas went to wash his bloody weapons in Styx's river, not realising that she was there. and Styx was really mad about him "polluting" her river so they fought. and i think Pallas was really impressed by her fighting skills, and eventually they became friends, and then lovers, and then they got married.

i also think Pallas was really lackadaisical about it- i mean, i don't think he's a romantic at all. he just looked at Styx one day and was like, "hey do you want to get married?", and Styx, who is also generally pretty chill agreed <3 i think they are probably the most chill couple from the younger titans.

PERSES

my hc is that Perses is the middle child in Crius and Eurybia's family. Pallas is the oldest, and Astraeus is the youngest.

i think Perses, from all his siblings, is the most like Crius.

he's very intelligent, and sensible. he's quite mature.

Perses' name means "to ravage" or "to destroy" which paints a pretty brutal idea of him. but i personally don't think that Perses is violent as much as he is a strategic and skilled fighter.

i like the idea that Pallas taught Perses to fight <3

i think he's a little colder than his siblings, and i think he has blind loyalty to his king, which is why i agree with the traditional lore that suggests that Perses ended up in Tartarus after the Titanomachy.

in the previous set of hc's (scroll down to Eurybia's section), i mentioned that i think Eurybia has moments where she can fly into quite a ruthless rage- i think Perses inherits this from his mum.

on Perses' wikipedia page, it says that he "was wed to Asteria", which, when i first read it, sounded pretty cold and aloof. i mean, it didn't say that Asteria was his consort, or his wife (which sounds more intimate and familiar), it just says that he was wed (which sounds like it's just something that *happened*)...

what i'm trying to say, is that i don't think Asteria and Perses had a love marriage- i think it was probably arranged.

that's not necessarily a bad thing. i think Perses and Asteria both agreed to it, and i think that for the most part of their marriage, though they may have not been in love with each other, they were certainly quite content to be together.

Perses, though he can seem indifferent to those around him, is still kind. i think he's very patient, and respectful.

i've said before that i like the idea of having Hecate's magic something that Hecate inherited from Perses' side and Asteria's- i think Coeus (Asteria's father) was pretty nifty at magic as was Crius (Perses' father), and i think Perses and Asteria both inherited this and passed it on to Hecate.

ASTRAEUS

Astraeus is referred to as the titan god of the dusk, and he was also associated with the winds and the constellations.

my hc is that, unlike his older brothers, Astraeus is a lot more in touch with his emotions. i think he's quite vocal about it.

in terms of personality, i think Astraeus closely resembles his mum, Eurybia.

more often than not, he's always smiling and laughing, and being positive.

i also think that Astraeus is a gooey romantic. he's the cheesy type.. the cringey lover.

Astraeus' wife is Eos, which makes a lot of sense thematically since Astraeus represents dusk, and Eos represents dawn.

i have a hc that Astraeus fell in love with Eos the first time he saw her- love at first sight. and i think Eos felt the same way.

because Eos represents the dawn, i imagine that she's an early riser.. i mean, really really early- 3 AM. Astraeus meanwhile, who represents the dusk, is a little bit of a late riser.

i have this hc that Eos stopped by his house at some obscene time in the morning and woke him up so that he could ride with her in her chariot and witness the sunrise the way she sees it, and it was the most beautiful thing Astraeus had ever seen (besides Eos of course <3).

anyways, then they got married and sickened everyone to death with their cringey nicknames for each other.

in the original myths, it's mentioned that Eos had many lovers on the side, but i think Astraeus is okay with it- i don't think he feels threatened by Eos' affairs because he's knows that he's the only true one.

also, i'm not sure whether Astraeus was originally sent to Tartarus, but my hc is that he fought on Zeus' side through Prometheus' little super-titan resistance team. this makes sense to me not simply because i like Astraeus and i don't want him to rot in Tartarus, but as the god of the dusk, he has a pretty important role as a personified concept. so it doesn't make sense why he would get removed from the narrative like that.

ASTERIA

Asteria is best known as being the mother of Hecate by Perses.

as i've already said, i think that Asteria was quite proficient with magic herself, and i like the idea that she taught Hecate.

in terms of personality, i imagine Asteria to be very clever, and witty. i think she's very gracious and patient. i don't think that Asteria is much of a fighter- she doesn't like violence or conflict, but she hates injustice more, and she is willing to make reasonable sacrifices if the cause is just.

my hc is that she is close to her cousin Prometheus. i think they get along very well because they have similar personalities. i also like the idea of her being good friends with Hesione, who becomes Prometheus' wife.

during the Titanomachy, she almost definitely sided with Zeus in the original myths, and i agree with that idea.

after the war, the myths say that Zeus pursued Asteria as well as her sister Leto, but Asteria rejected his advances. in most myths, Zeus' unrelenting pursuit of her ends with Asteria escaping from him by transforming into the island which becomes known as Delos.

i like the idea of Asteria becoming Delos which, as we know, becomes the refuge of Leto when she gives birth to Apollo and Artemis. i like the idea of family always finding away to provide support, BUT i don't like the aspect of Zeus as a forceful and insatiable god.

so my hc is that while Zeus did chase after Asteria, i think Delos had already been created by Asteria previously as a place for her to raise Hecate, and when Asteria returned to that place, i think Zeus knew that it wasn't happening and he gracefully gave up.

i mentioned in Perses' hc's that i think Asteria and Perses had an arranged marriage. i think their marriage was interrupted by the Titanomachy, and although Asteria took Zeus' side, i think Perses took Cronus' side- which definitely led to a little conflict within their family.

my hc is that Asteria already knew that she was pregnant with Hecate during the Titanomachy and she wanted a better life for her daughter which is why she fought alongside Zeus, and i think she also knew that Perses wouldn't fight against Cronus- so she had to choose between her child and her husband, and she chose her child.

after Olympus gets established, i think Asteria and Leto live on Delos together, happily retired, the way they deserve <3

LETO

i've actually already done a few Leto hc's here so i won't repeat them :)

[jjk-biased]

park jimin x reader

genre: angst, lil' fluff if you squint hard enough lmfao

word count: 2k words of big sad bros

synopsis: befriending the ever-shy boy park jimin had its ups and downs but you were there for him through everything.

masterlist

It wasn’t supposed to end like this.

It was supposed to end on a somewhat lighter note. Laughter should’ve rang through the room by now from your remark, or at least a chuckle should’ve been heard from his lips as he denies your claim. He should’ve continued eating his pastries or at least change the topic to the song currently playing in Belle Vie.

There shouldn’t be silence. You shouldn’t hear the pitter patter of the rain outside from the cafe you’re in.

Anything but this.

You could still remember meeting his eyes. There he was, meekly hiding himself from the corner of the room to shield himself from the noise of your classmates. He was alone and it was as if he wanted it to stay that way.

You weren’t sure what was captivating about him. Was it the way his eyes told a different story? Was it how adorable he was as he avoided your stare when you approached him? Was it the small, unsure smile he returned when you looked at him?

You’d never know. But you were happy to be the first one to approach him.

“Hi! I’m Y/N.”

“O-oh… uhm… h-hello,” He trailed off, once again looking at anything but you.

You unintentionally chuckled, somehow frightening this shy boy more, and continued, “Can I ask for your name?”

“I-I’m sorry… I’m Park Jimin.”

“Say Park Jimin… interested in going to the small cafe down the street?”

That was the start of an unlikely friendship between the ever-friendly Y/N and the resident cutie Jimin.

From a few meetings to being stuck by the hip, you two sure became a great duo. But Jimin still had reservations about himself, a nobody, and you, the ever-cheerful person who’d befriend anyone. You would remember Jimin always asking you why you hung out with him. He would list reasons why you were better off without him trailing behind you like a puppy.

“Because I like being friends with you silly!”

And you could see the storm in his eyes fade away just from that remark.

“Wanna go to the Hope Dance Studio oday?”

“I’ll just watch you dance, Jimin, and you owe me tea from Belle Vie.”

You two spent most of your days together and would often bond on your love for music. You discovered a new Jimin through dancing—a Jimin who forgot his stage fright and shyness everytime a beat plays. You loved this side of Jimin. It’s who he is. A dancer, born to perform on stage, yet held back by the timid persona he always went by.

Admittedly, you were secretly glad he was confident enough to show it to you. Only you.

Aside from the dance studio, you two were more than often seen in the small cafe by the school named Belle Vie. It was a cozy cafe that hosted a few stressed students or passerbys who wanted to stop for pastries. It was where you two always hung out after every school day.

As your highschool years went by, you began to lie low from the “popular” people. The famous Y/N who befriended anyone was still friendly, but you decided it was time to stick to those who will be there for you.

That was Jimin. You stuck by him as you went through countless breakdowns, stresses, and heartbreaks.

“You should forget that dork, Y/N! He was a player from the start. If you want, we’ll go egg his house soon because he deserves that shit,” Jimin’s eye twitched as he gripped the macaron in his hand rather harshly.

The two of you were once again in Belle Vie, though this time you were down in the dumps because your asshole of a boyfriend cheated on you with one of your friends.

You snorted as you stole one of the sweet delights from his plate, “The slytherin in you jumped out.”

He preened, mockingly laughing the way rich people do, “I try my best.”

“Thank you, Jimin.”

“Anything for you."

None of your relationships seemed to work. Maybe it was because you never seemed to find any sort of connection with them. Maybe it was because they never had any sort of genuinity to commitment.

Maybe it was because they weren’t Jimin.

It dawned on you on one of those quiet days where you ponder quietly as you gaze at the ceiling. Looking back, it really was Jimin who stuck with you through it all. He made you laugh every time he did his pranks (he was never caught), he made you smile every time he danced like a dork, he made you feel at home.

Squealing lightly, you fell off the bed at your epiphany.

“Holy shit… I like my best friend.”

As soon as those words left your mouth, your eyes widened. There are a lot more negative disadvantages to liking your only best friend. What if he didn’t like you? What if he thinks you’re creepy? What if you don’t become friends anymore?

That last question haunted you more than you liked to admit.

Jimin was your anchor, the one you found solace in when times are rough. Not being with him anymore just because your feelings got in the way.

You’d rather keep it in.

So you did. You kept that little crush to yourself and told not a soul. It kind of hurts to act that way, but it was for the best.

Jimin on the other hand began to grow out of his shell. Because you encouraged him, even in his bad days, you were able to help him be more out in the open. Soon, Jimin became one of the popular kids and you were more than happy to see him in his true element.

You once introduced him to your acquaintance and captain of the dance team, Jung Hoseok. He happened to be the son of the owner of the dance studio you two often went to as well. Jimin was soon recruited.

It was as if everything felt right when he accepted Hoseok’s offer. He was more than ecstatic. You were very much just as happy as he is.

“Congrats, shorty! Treat me to Belle Vie today?”

“You can’t call me that if you’re shorter… And shouldn’t I be the one treated today?”

That was the start of his way up to the big leagues.

You were left at the bottom. Probably forgotten, left alone at square one.

You didn’t notice it immediately. Your daily trip to Belle vie turned into every other day, then it became twice a week, once a week, until there was none at all. You couldn’t blame your sweet Jimin though. He became much busier after he joined the dance team.

At the back of your mind, it was hard to admit that he became too busy for you.

It was hard, really, to ask Jimin to hang out for at least just a day and be turned down time and time again.

“Hey! Can we go to Belle Vie today?”

You already knew the answer when his face contorted into an uneasy grin, the way he averted his eyes and awkwardly scratched the back of his neck.

“I… uhm… have practi—”

“Oh! ‘S alright, we can just go out on a later date,” you cut him off to save yourself an ounce of dignity and scurried away before he could make it more painful than it is.

The unlikely duo weren’t seen together anymore anywhere.

You still went on with your day though. You wanted to support your sweet best friend through every competition he had, every breakdown he cried for, every problem he harbored.

It was different this time, you two couldn’t deny it. From strangers to best friends, then back to strangers.

The feelings you long since had have grown into something you couldn’t ignore. Despite every embarrassing moment you experienced from being turned down, the way his smile grew bigger every time their team won had your heart swooning. This Jimin, admittedly now one of the most popular heartthrobs of your school, brought your tummy butterflies that won’t die down.

On your fifth friendship anniversary, you decided it was time you get Jimin for just a day. Heck, just an hour with him would suffice. It’s been long since you two were together and why not hang out on the day that started it all?

“Chim, let’s eat at Belle Vie today. I’m not taking no for an answer,” You huffed in faux confidence, momentarily ignoring that little voice in your head who taunted at you.

“Ah… what’s the occasion?”

Are you kidding me?!

“June 13th! It’s our friendship anniversary dummy,” You grinned hesitantly as your voice wavered.

You never thought you’d have to remind him of this date. It was the other way around! He would surprise you and treat you to Belle Vie because you two were friends!

“Alright… I’ll meet you there.”

There wasn’t as much enthusiasm in his voice as he had last year. It was now blatantly obvious he wanted nothing to do with you.

You figured it was time for your last resort, confessing to everything you’ve felt. Maybe this time… Maybe this time he’ll have a change of heart.

Rain poured down when afternoon came. The clouds were weeping at the loss of friendship. Or maybe it was long gone and you just realized it now and the clouds were sad for another reason…

The two of you were sitting in the same booth you first did, the one nearest to the window. You both ended up getting the same food you always bought. You found yourselves in the same predicament you first met— awkward, silent, and nervousness.

Everything was the same yet everything was different.

The Jimin in front of you now, for example, was strikingly different from the Jimin you met. But you were still the same ol’ Y/N he first met.

You were finally fed up with everything he had thrown your way. Every rejection he made you face, every embarrassing moment you had to endure, every ounce of pain you had to feel.

“What happened to us?” You whispered, looking at anything but this stranger in front of you.

He raised an eyebrow, “Us? What do you mean? Don’t get carried away, Y/N.”

“You were never like this to me, Jimin… You always went to me for everything… Now we don’t even t-talk,” You cried out weakly, too hurt to prevent anything from not being said.

“I’m not gonna be there at your every beck and call, Y/N! I’m not gonna be with you forever! You’re not even my girlfriend! God, how clingy can you get!?” Jimin harshly let out.

Your eyes widened as his remarks flowed into your head and repeatedly taunted you. Tears welled up in your eyes, unable to believe that this is the person you called your best friend.

“I… I can’t believe I like you,” Your face visibly cringed when you said that word. That specific word that wasn’t even enough to describe the immense love you had for this boy who had chosen to hurt you with his words.

It was out. The secret you had for so long is finally out.

Instead of anything welcoming, however, Jimin only mumbled a “what?” out of disbelief. Maybe he wasn’t hearing himself correctly.

This expression of his told you more than you needed to know. Despite the tears now flowing freely, you asked him softly.

“H-hey… Do you know what Belle Vie means?”

You were met with silence. He stared at you as you tried to salvage this piss-poor conversation.

“It means Beautiful Life… and I’m glad to have experienced that with you, Jimin…”

He didn’t say anything back, just a weak, “Goodbye.”

And there was nothing.

It wasn’t supposed to end like this.

It was supposed to end on a somewhat lighter note. Laughter should’ve rang through the room by now from your remark, or at least a chuckle should’ve been heard from his lips as he denies your claim. He should’ve continued eating his pastries or at least change the topic to the song currently playing in Belle Vie.

There shouldn’t be silence. You shouldn’t hear the pitter patter of the rain outside from the cafe you’re in.

But it did.

Your longtime crush and now ex-friend walked out of the door, and with him left the five-year friendship you two built.

What a beautiful life, indeed.

permanent taglist: @luvinseokjinnie @97faerie @amoreguk

[albatris]

is there romance in atdao or is it all just found famiy vibes? if there is romance im real curious about how peeps would express those kinda feelings

hello hi hello this took me AGES I’m very sorry I kept getting distracted by things such as being asleep

anyway yes thank you for the question! romance? yes, we’ve got some of this going on, sure, though I would count the romance as within the found family c:

I don’t know if you wanted a Ramble™ but this is a topic I can ramble about and I’m in a bit of a rambling mood so you can have a ramble, free of charge, just take it up to the register and have them enter the code “logan this is not what I ordered”

but yeah, your question? about eight vaguely relevant tangents immediately spring to mind! also spoilers?? spoilers after the cut

I really should have formatted this response in a way that puts the super spoiler heavy part at the end but since when have I ever ever in my life made things easy for my dear sweet followers

y’all know what I’m like with spoilers by now 

but yeah, to set the scene, there’s two main romantic......................... situations going on in the story, the first being between Noa and Alice, and the second being between Kai, Tris and Shara. so, the former I would describe as “a legitimate romantic subplot” and the latter I would describe as a character tripping and falling into it by sheer chance and just being like “oh whoops well I guess this is what I’m doing now” which is also extremely valid

Noa and Alice end up not being, like, Confirmed Endgame by the end of the story even though much of the plot looks like it’s heading in that direction, and like...... yeah, in my head, they do end up in a romantic relationship at some point post-story, but I’m not sure on what sort of timeline

during the story itself, it’s established that they do share mutual feelings for each other and this is likely heading towards a romantic relationship, but I think since much of the story sees Noa still trying to find her feet in just, like....... having friends at all, and trusting those friends, and knowing who she is in relation to others on any sort of level, I think near the end of the story she decides that she’s not at a place where she wants to try and figure out a romantic relationship just yet

it’s not a hard no, it’s just a “hey not right now” and a “let’s see what happens later down the track, for now it’s just nice to be around friends” ‘cause even that is just super new territory for her

which I worry will make people feel cheated, but also, I think it’s the ending for this subplot that would make the most sense for where the characters are at and would be the most fitting c:

and secondly there’s like

hm. ok

well, there WAS a vaguely jokey post I made yonks back where I pitched the idea of an ATDAO polyamory ending being just like. Alice who’s dating Noa who’s dating Shara who’s dating Kai who’s dating Tris. and I stand by this being solid as hell. but also, given the ending to Noa’s subplot with Alice, it doesn’t really work in the story canon, n though I think Noa and Shara is a dynamic I really enjoy, it would likely not actually play out in reality :P

which leaves the trio of Shara, Kai and Tris, a trio I’ve always vibed with and had vaguely on my radar as a valid poly ending but for some reason didn’t twig that I could just, like, make it canon and no one can stop me LMAO

but yeah, this one, like I said, it’s not so much aHD whole big subplot, it’s just something that falls into place super casually and is never really brought up beyond “oh is this a thing that’s happening?” “yeah” “cool ok”

I think there’s a brief window as a reader where you might be like “ugh this is gonna be a stupid love triangle or some weird jealousy thing” but then it just ends up being a complete non-issue. there’s basically zero romantic drama for this plotline, Tris and Shara are bros and Kai is dating both of them

n as for your question itself, it depends on whether you mean, like.......... how they would go about expressing to someone else that they have romantic feelings or, like, how they express their affections in a romantic scenario

‘cause for the former, the answer for both Tris and Noa is just.... they don’t

Noa because at the start of the story she views her crush on Alice as a huge fucking inconvenience that’s going to make things messy and complicated, so she just tries to ignore her romantic feelings as hard as she can (obviously this doesn’t last hahaha). but yeah, she’s just very pissed off that she has a crush and doesn’t want to acknowledge it :P she also has no idea how to respond when Alice expresses romantic interest in her, this is all extremely new territory

and Tris because he doesn’t realise he’s even experiencing romantic feelings in the first place?? like. the boy has so much baseline anxiety jitteriness that stuff like, idk, feeling your heart pick up pace, butterflies in the stomach, any kinda social nerves you get around the people you like, etc, he experiences this with Kai and is automatically just like “great now you’re here and I’m having a panic attack can you please leave”

just slaps a label of Bad Vibes onto it then later is like Wait A Minute

but yeah, I think neither of them would be super comfy actually expressing their feelings out loud or making that first move, Noa because she’s super fuckin petty and stubborn and Tris because he’s waaaaaaaay too fuckin socially anxious for that shit are you kidding

in terms of how they express their affections though??

so like. I have to reiterate that I’m aro and ace and I have a lot of difficulty in articulating what makes a romance A Romance, like??? I have relationships that are friendships and relationships that are romantic, but I myself don’t really experience romantic attraction in the way other people do

as such, the way I write characters in their romantic expressions tends to be just an extension of how they act in their friendships? which I think is a pretty ok thing to base a romance off anyway, but like, yeah, romance, this is a mystery to me for the most part, do I look like I know what a romance is

anyway I think once Alice and Noa get a little closer there’s a lot of good-natured ribbing and friendly insults, n since they already had a bit of a rivalry going on beforehand I would imagine this competitive streak doesn’t disappear :P Noa is generally uncomfy with being Openly affectionate and soft with others, so I think there would be a lot of more “indirect” ways she shows this care. I think they have the kind of relationship where from an outside perspective you don’t really get how it’s warm and affectionate, but it’s just ‘cause you don’t know the lingo, right

Tris is just the cheerleader type in all friendly relationships I think, lots of encouragement and hype and compliments and enthusiasm, he’s very excitable and very easily impressed hahahaha. though I think it takes people a while to click that he’s legitimately being 100% earnest and genuine, the constant deadpan does not work super well in his favour

anyway I’m gonna hop back up for a sec so I can cover Shara and Kai real quick

these two are............ a bit more direct with actually verbalising their feelings to people? Shara is a socially anxious type, but also not someone who enjoys beating around the bush, n she generally likes to just speak what’s on her mind and be direct with others whenever she can. Kai just kinda........ I mean, I don’t think they consider romantic affections to be a super big deal? at least in theory? I say in theory ‘cause, like, I think they give the impression that this kind of conversation is just super smooth and easy for them, and on the inside they’re like “it’s really not a big deal it’s just feelings it’s whatever” but they’re still anxious about it and had to hype themself up for like a week before going through with it lmao

but ye, in terms of how they express their affections, they’re both fairly similar. you suddenly will just Not Be Able To Get Rid Of Them, they’ll constantly be hanging around in the same space or dragging you into whatever shenanigans they’ve got going on, I think for both of them their favourite expression of love is just sharing in experiences or sharing the same space, just Being Involved And Around 

a “hey come help me run errands” type or a “I’m gonna hang off the back of your sofa while you’re studying and sometimes slingshot balls of paper at you with a rubber band” type :P

and now I have to go on Another Tangent just ‘cause the subject matter is vaguely relevant and idk where else I’m gonna go on this tangent

there is definitely some part of me that’s still super super fond of the idea of Kai being aro??? and I initially did write them as such, but for the moment this is not something that’s remained canon in text ‘cause I’m a little bitch ‘cause like

Kai would be aro in very much the same way I am, which is to say, they’re a person who is extremely full of love and who has difficulty in differentiating what the step is supposed to be between friendship feelings and romantic feelings, so, someone who may not necessarily “get” what makes a romance a romance or experience any feelings different from a strong friendship, but who is still open to being in a romantic relationship

(the difference between us being that Kai Really Really Likes People and enjoys being close with others as much as possible, where I’m more the awkward standoffish hermit type lmao)

but yeah, I was kinda like. well. despite being a perfectly valid aro person in a romantic relationship myself, if I were a fictional character people would probably call me bad rep HAHAHA. like “yeah they’re apparently aro but they don’t really ACT aro and the author put them in a romantic relationship ://”

and while I think there’s value to be had in fiction in exploring the different ways a person can be aro, I just, like................... thought about the hypothetical future discourse and was just like UGH. I cannot be fucking BOTHERED

I get enough people in real life being like “ok but you’re not REALLY aro like why do you even bother having that label it’s not like it matters in your context” even though I’m the goddamn expert on my own experiences you bastards

lmao

but yeah I think aro Kai is canon in my heart hahahaha. and they may end up articulating some of the same feelings, maybe just not with the label applied, who knows

anyway that’s my rambles done I think! thanks for reading n have a nice night c:

[kz-i-co]

Just Friends

Request: "Hello! Can you write a highschool au smut of Yunhyeong? Tysm! — We're bestfriends and he's a playboy"

Pairing: Song Yunhyeong/ Reader

Genre: fluff/smut

Words: 3.3k

m.list ╫ ikon masterlist

-

"Will you stop! Get your own food." You pushed your boyfriends hand away from your tray as he took your second to last fry that he happened to eat more then half of.

"I did." He laughed with his mouth full.

"You suck."

You couldn't help but smile from seeing him happy again. It seemed that you two were fighting more then bonding now-a-days.

"Hey."

And this was the reason why.....

You smiled as your best friend Yunhyeong hugged you from behind quickly before taking off out of the cafeteria. You glanced over at your boyfriend as he eyed him off in a menacing glare of jealousy.

"I don't like him." He mumbled.

"He's been my best friend since we've been in diapers, will you chill out." You informed, probably for the hundredth time this school year that you began dating this idiot.

"I can't chill, I feel like you hang out with him more then me." Here we go again... "Besides I notice the way he looks at you and he so happened to apply to the same college as you, the guy-"

You made a habit of not listening to his rants on why you can't be friends with the most popular guy in school who has probably slept with almost the whole senior class and he still has the nerve to feel threatened.

"Are you even listening to me?" He whined.

"Yes Yeonseok. I hear you and I heard you yesterday...and the day before yesterday-" You got up dumping your tray as he followed you. "We are just friends and besides he's a massive player which I have no part of."

"Exactly and he will probably try to sleep with you if he hasn't already." He said but quickly bit his tongue.

"Excuse me. We are friends and no I haven't slept with him. You know why?" Your voice raised. "Because I'm not a cheater!" You finally walked away as another argument was in play. This was all you've been fighting about for the past few months and it seemed to stay that way.

You hung out with Yunhyeong most of the time because he was your best friend and so happened to be your neighbor and if Yeonseok couldn't trust you then what was the point of this relationship.

"Hey sexy." Someone pouched on you and it was Yunhyeong. Speak of the devil. "Are you going to Hanbin's party tonight?"

"Nah."

"Why not?"

"Yunhyeong I'm really not in the mood, I'm sorry."

"What's wrong?"

"I had another fight with Yeonseok." You combed your fingers through your hair.

"Break up with him then." He said.

"I can't just do that."

"Why not? I never see you happy anymore and it's because of that guy."

"I know....it's just because he's super clingy and jealous all the time and it's getting annoying but we've been together a year now and I love him you know." You sighed.

"No I don't know." He shook his head.

"Of course you don't." You laughed while pushing him. "Because you sleep with a different girl every night."

"I do not."

"You're the star of the girls room gossip. Either you're being praised on how good in bed you are or how bad you're wanted in bed."

"Really?" He smirked.

You nodded. "It's pretty annoying."

"I just haven't found the girl I like yet." He said but you saw pain behind his smile.

"And you think sex is going to clear the path for you?" You arched your eyebrows.

"I'm really not that bad. It only happens at these party's."

"Does that mean your tolerance is high or low?"

"I remember what happens......most of the time." He caused you to snark.

"How about we crash at my place instead?" You smirked knowing that's not the answer he wanted to hear.

"Please? Just hand out with me and you can stop me when it seemed I had too much. Last time I came home drunk my parents grounded me for a month."

"And who's fault is that? I hate parties." You rolled your eyes as you noticed a few girls from your class stare at your friend with lust. He was too popular for your crowd.

"Please?" He begged again. "Yeonseok will probably be there and you guys can make up."

"Why would Yeonseok be there? He hates parties too."

"You sure about that?" He gave you a concerned look before walking away.

"What's that suppose to mean?" You followed him as he tried to escape your question.

"I see him there all the time. Relax he probably knows you hate them so he doesn't bother dragging you."

"You lie."

"Am I. Why don't you see for yourself?"

"Fine. I'll go to the dumb party and as soon as you get the slightest buzz I'm dragging your ass home."

"Fine."

.....

"This is so stupid." You left your room as your mother was basically flirting with Yunhyeong at the door. She thought he was the most handsome boy and wanted you two together. Unusual right?

The reason you two were best friends and neighbors was because your parents were best friends since grade school. Your father even shoved the wedding pictures in your face in how Yunhyeong's father and him were each other's best man. You two were inseparable since diapers, according to your mother and it would be perfect if you two ended up together and continue the tradition with your own kids.

Give me a break....

You loved Yunhyeong as friends first and didn't disapprove if it turned into something more but he was girl trouble and he showed no interest in you anyways. You didn't care who he was in your life, you were just happy he was there but things don't always turn out the way they are meant to be mother so get over it.

"Mom please leave him alone." You said as you reached the last step.

"I'm just being friendly." She pouted.

"Let's just go. We will be home in an hour." You said pushing Yunhyeong out the door.

"That's alright honey. You and Yunhyeong go have fun together. But not too much fun." She annoyingly chuckled.

"I love your parents." Yunhyeong laughed as you walked down the street.

"Take them, I insist." You laughed. "My mom is in love with you."

"Really?" He laughed.

"She refers to you as her future son-in-law." He looked at you not sure if he heard you correctly. "Not kidding."

"Who knows." He smirked.

"Shut up....player."

Once you got to the party, it wasn't as crowded as you thought it would be like you see in the movies but it was still enough to make you feel claustrophobic.

Yunhyeong handed you a drink and you glared at him intensely. "Are you kidding me? I'm here to make sure you don't drink."

"It's just one drink. I won't have more then you deal?" He said causing you to laugh.

"You're going to be disappointed then." You took the drink.

"Hey Song." Some preppy blond greeted the boy. "Whose this?" She looked at you disgusted.

"This is my best friend (Y/N)." He said and grabbed your hand pulling you away from the girl. You couldn't help the butterflies in your stomach just the way he was dragging you like some protective boyfriend.

"You want something to eat?" He asked you as you were now in the kitchen.

Before you could give an answer Hanbin quickly showed up cutting you off. "Yo Song, can you help me with something real quick?"

"Yeah. I'll be right back." He looked at you quickly then left.

"Hey (Y/N) right? Are you and Song together?" A few girls came over.

"No." You tried to keep to yourself, washing the horrible drink down.

"I told you, she is with Seok something." The other one said.

"Good. He promised to see me tonight." She snooded. "So you better stay away from him."

"Trust me, he don't want you." You snapped back.

"Excuse me."

"He's not interested in dating. So why don't you find another guy to strip for."

"That's funny because we hooked up at this party last week and he told me I was the most beautiful girl he's ever been with."

"He was probably drunk."

"Listen here bitc-"

"Hey, Sorry....oh hey um....Chaeyoung." He greeted the main girl.

"Chaehyun." She blushed.

"Right sorry."

"Close enough." She smiled.

"Pathetic." You laughed causing her to glare at you. "Come on Song, let's go somewhere else." It was your turn to drag him away causing the jealousy to give you unnecessary happiness that was something you didn't want to admit.

"You have something against those girls?" He laughed and you accidentally tripped bumping into him.

"Sorry." You brushed your hair behind your ear.

"Your shoe lace is untied." He pointed.

"What-" You looked down to notice the cause of your humiliation.

"Here." He lifted you up to sit you on the dinning room table causing you to blush. He leaned down taking your dingy laces and began to put the pieces back together.

You couldn't help but stare as he helped you, catching you in the act. You quickly put your cup to your face, taking unnecessary gulps in the process and he got up towering over you.

"I think I'm starting to feel this drink." The sour face you were holding wasn't pretty.

"Have you drank before?" He asked.

"No." You held your head down embarrassed.

You glanced up to see his warm smile once again until a familiar substance passed back through the crowd.

"Excuse me for a moment." You said hopping down off the washing machine and followed through the crowed trying to find that familiar face.

Shit! Where did he go?

You searched the whole ground level of the house until you started to head upstairs.

"(Y/N) is everything alright?" Yunhyeong said concerned.

"I thought I saw something." You carried on and headed upstairs as Yunhyeong was dragged into some game of beer pong.

Minutes had passed losing Yunhyeong's thought something was wrong until he saw you running down the stairs and heavily tried to pass by the crowd.

"Get off me." You tried to push your way causing attention to focus on you.

"Guys fuck off." Yunhyeong was quick to your side.

"Please, I just need to get out of here." You cried.

"Yunhyeong are you playing?" You heard other people around you.

"Guys, I need to take (Y/N) home." He spoke and you head tilted down looking at the floor.

"I think she's too upset for some action bro." His friends laughed.

"It's not like that." He raised his voice and guided you out.

.....

You were silent the whole car ride. You just couldn't believe you saw him with your own eyes. Cheating on you. The freaking hypocrisy was unreal. You were speechless.

Once the car stopped Yunhyeong got out and helped you out the car as you were just too zoned out.

"Are your parents home?" You finally broke the silence to his surprise.

"My parents work early shifts, they are probably already past out." He laughed to try to ease the tension.

"I just don't want to go home right now, especially like this. Then I'll have to explain." Your voice was still soft.

"Of course (Y/N), you're always welcomed at my house." He said comforting.

"Um..." He began as he juggled the door handle. "I must of forgot my keys." He nervously smiled as he felt up his pockets. "Don't worry the basement door is never locked."

He guided you to the back of the house that you were already familiar with.

"You don't lock this door? What if someone breaks in?"

"This is like the nicest neighborhood ever, you kidding. Besides....you never know if you forgot your keys."

"Clearly." You let out a small giggle to your surprise. Yunhyeong always knew how to brighten the mood.

He turned on the basement light bringing back the old memories. It's been awhile since you both had fun down here. It wasn't your typical old dingy basement. It had soft warm carpet and bright lights that could easily be mistaken as another comfortable room throughout the house.

"Remember when we used to play hide and seek down here?"

"Yeah." Yunhyeong laughed. "To get away from our annoying parents gossiping upstairs."

"You always gave up because I was the best hider ever."

"You sure were." He agreed as you kicked off your shoes and made yourself comfortable on the couch. He just sat next to you knowing you were still upset but didn't want to probe.

"I saw Yeonseok with another girl." You started. "We always fought because he was so convinced I was cheating on him with you but here he was cheating.....funny how that works right?"

"I'm so sorry (Y/N)."

"Did you know? You mentioned you saw him at parties before."

"No......I just seen him a few times but I had no idea." He said sadly.

"Shouldn't you be saying 'I told you so'."

"I would never."

"You knew he was no good for me, maybe I should of listened to you." You looked at your best friend.

"He didn't deserve you. But it wasn't my place to question your decisions."

You couldn't help but melt from his words. He was the best thing in your life and you didn't know why you were taking advantage.

"Why are you looking at me like-" He started but you cut him off with your lips attached to his quickly. Once you pulled away he was staring at you like the room was spinning. He didn't know what to do. "(Y/N) I think you might be too upset at the moment."

"No, I just finally connected the pieces together." He looked at you like he didn't understand. "You are always the one that is there for me. Always the one to make me smile or laugh or tell me when I'm being an idiot....and I don't want anyone else to take your place."

"So are you telling me-" You cut him off again but this time he kissed you back. You pulled back so you were lying down on the couch with him hovering over you.

He suddenly pulled away to continue asking dumb questions. "Does this mean you are cheating on Yeonseok?"

"It's so over between us." You pulled him back to kiss you once again.

"Does this mean we're dating now?" He pulled away once again.

"If you keep interrupting, we won't be." You had to pull him back down again.

He pulled away one more time but you cut him off. "Yunhyeong shut up."

You couldn't help but laugh though. He may be one of the most popular kids in school but he still came off as a big dork, just like you remembered him for.

You moved your leg up around his waist, just to bring you two closer to gather and it was already causing friction. It was clear that Yunhyeong was more experienced then you but you were taking the lead some how. It almost made you curious how much was gossip and how much was the truth.

You softly hummed as you were running out of breath. But that didn't stop Yunhyeong to move on to your neck, already marking your skin in its trail. His wandering hands started brushing up your shirt, feeling every inch of you. You were just as guilty as you started undoing his belt.

You felt him playing with your bra strap, eventually loosening up the tight fabric. He had it off quicker then you realized and immediately started messaging your chest, loosely under your shirt. His lips made it's way back up to your lips, feeling more moist then before.

He stopped suddenly once he felt your hand making it's way inside his jeans. He closed his eyes tightly as you rubbed against him. You could feel the tightness growing causing you to unzip his jeans for more room.

When you felt like he had enough, you tugged his shirt up signaling for him to pull it off.

You took some time to admire his toned body until he distracted you by tugging off your jeans. You went ahead and took off your own shirt being completely exposed.

It almost looked like he blushed as he saw you in full. He leaned down to kiss you once again, as you tugged off the rest of his jeans using you feet.

You pushed him up breaking the kiss once again but instead he kissed down your chest, giving you very much needed attention. You tried to contain your moans as much as possible.

"Yunhyeong." You said weakly causing him to just hum in response. "Can you get a blanket?"

"Now." You has to raise your voice to get him to stop. He quickly left you side and came back covering you both with a blanket. He went back to kissing up and down your chest like he never left and by this point you were growing impatient. You gently took him in your hand showing you were ready and slowly jerked him only enough to lubricate. He stopped kissing you from the new pleasure he was receiving and you smirked feeling achieved from his reaction. You moved him forward guiding him to where you wanted him.

You both moaned softly from the sensation and moved slowly to adjust. His muffled sounds were so beautiful as he began his movements. The pleasure was unreal. It was almost like a dream.

You grabbed the back of his neck down to kiss him passionately as he quickened his pace. You tilted your head back shortly after as you couldn't contain your moans from the pleasure.

You moved your hand to the front of your folds to guide your climax closer to the edge.

"Fu- go faster." You cried weakly and he picked up the pace driving you crazy.

Just as you were about to release, he beat you to it causing the room to spin. You felt numbness scattered throughout your body.

You looked up, opening your eyes once again and looked at Yunhyeong's beautiful face and you couldn't help but smile seeing how exhausted he was. You laughed wiping the sweat off his forehead.

"Can I talk now?" He said cutely causing you to laugh.

"I suppose."

"Do you mind if the school knows?"

"What?" You looked at him annoyed.

"I mean, like can I hold you hand, kiss you before you enter class, buy your lunch, call you my girlfriend....."

"That might make a lot of people mad."

"I don't care."

"Okay." You smiled. He was a dork and you were madly in love with him.

He moved off of you laying besides you on the cozy couch. He placed his arm around you, letting you snuggle up against him.

-

"I don't let me check downstairs." You slowly woke up to a voice and then sudden footsteps coming downstairs. You and Yunhyeong both sat up quickly as you held the blanket up covering your naked chest. You watched as his mother looked around the room not noticing you both exposed on the couch.

"Ah here it is." She grabbed an old book. She was heading back up the stairs but suddenly stopped. "You two better get dressed and come upstairs. We need to talk."

You both looked at each other nervously but her tone was pretty genuine, not like she was angry which confused you both more.

"I'm sure it's fine." Yunhyeong said biting his lip.

"Yeah right."

[enchanted-flowers]

Fur Real

Commission for Anonymous

Pairing: UT Sans x Reader

Word count: 1600

Rating: G

Genre: Fluff

Warning: None

Summary: One shot. Make a zoo pun, and he’ll be able to find his brother. Sans has been training for this his whole life. 

[Commission info]

[Keep me warm?]

Yep. It’s official. He’s lost. Sans wanders around the aquatic exhibit, passing by the brilliant tanks of deep blue and floating white, his bones shivering even beneath his jacket. A large killer whale swims right past him, ignoring the skeleton for the falling fish. Crowds of happy families all bump into him, chattering away about the next animal they want to see, then complaining about the massive amount of people visiting the zoo on this day. Some children bang on the glass to get the animals’ attention, then pout when all of them were ignored. Between the bustling activity and his brother’s excitement, Undyne dragged Papyrus away, their long legs carrying them far from Sans, who already had trouble keeping up. It’s been an hour and he still haven’t found them, the reception in the park completely nonexistent, rendering it useless. Who knew it would be this difficult to find two loud seven foot monsters.

Sighing, Sans deems the aquatic exhibit useless and leaves, then deciding to go check out the feline animals next. Surprisingly, there are less people in this area, which gives Sans a sigh of relief. He doesn’t mind crowds, but when they were pushing against his smaller body, it could get a little annoying. He walks past the lion habitat, the majestic felines staring at him curiously as he admires their grace.

“Come on guys! Are you ready for the mane event?!” he hears a voice within the habitat giggle.

Sans whips around at the pun and notices a zookeeper, carrying a bucket of dead meat in a pail, and tossing it at the lions. The lions leap in the air and catches the food in their mouths, several fighting over one piece, but you just toss them another one. Sans leans over the safety rail and waves to you.

“heh, that was a pretty pawsome trick,”

You quickly turn around, and see him smiling lazily and waving. Putting your hands on your hips, you roll your eyes.  “Like I haven’t heard that one before,”

Sans raises a bone brow, “oh? i’d be lion if i said that didn’t hurt,”

“Fur real? That’s the best you got?” you chuckle and shake your head.

Sans thinks for a moment, “i can’t think of anything else. it’s hurting my pride,”

You throw your head back and laugh, one of the lions perks it head up and stares at you. You just toss it another piece of meat.

“It’s rare that I meet another pun master like myself.” you smirk, “I’ll tell you what, tell me a zoo joke that I haven’t heard before, and I’ll let you into any exhibit you want,”

“really?” Sans raises his bonebrow, “wouldn’t you get in trouble?”

“Hey, if anything, I’ll just say that you’re the next meal,” you laugh and swipe away a bead of sweat.

Sans’s grin grows wider, and he tilts his head, thinking for a minute. He looks around him. searching for any source of inspiration. He already used a lion pun, so it’s pointless to try that again. The signs directing towards the restroom proves to be no help. The elephant habitat catches his eye, and an idea strikes. Sans mentally laughs at his joke own inside his head, sticking his hands in his pockets.

“what’s gray, has four legs, and owns a trunk?”

You raise your eyebrow and glace over at the elephants, “An elephant.”

“nah. a mouse going on vacation”

You try to stifle your laughter, but instead you throw your head back and burst out laughing, even tears threatening to spill. The lions look at you in confusion, then goes back to licking their paws. Finally, you calm down, and cross your arms with a smirk. It wasn’t even that funny to you, but the way he said it with such confidence, you couldn’t help but grin.

“Alright. I gotta hand it to you, that wasn’t bad,”

“wasn’t bad? kid, i have a bone to pick with you,” Sans mocks offense.

“Save it for the hyenas,” you say, “A deal is a deal. Wait right there and I’ll come to you,”

He waits as you exit the lion habitat and watch a peculiar cub prancing around his parents and pouncing on a butterfly, only to release it, then try again. Somehow, that reminds him how Papyrus use to be when he was younger, except his brother could never try to harm it.  You approach him a few minutes later, holding out your hand with a smile and introduce yourself. You poor naive soul. Stealthily sliding the whoopee cushion in the palm of his hand, the accepts your greeting, the blast of air escaping the rubber balloon. You blink in surprise, then tighten your grip in fury, before pushing him away so you can hold back your laughter.

“That’s so mature,”

“come on, you liked it. i can tell,” Sans winks.

You let out a tiny giggle, “Alright bonehead, whatever. Where do you want to go?”

“koalas,” Sans decides without hesitation, “they look cool. besides, my bro doesn’t think that they exist so maybe i’ll run into him there or at least get a picture to show him,”

You blink in confusion at the strange statement, but you just shrug it off and motion him to follow you. You lead them through the zoo, passing by a butterfly cage and a birds habitat. Sweat drips down Sans's neck from the sweltering heat, and he wonders how you aren't burning up in this weather, especially since you have skin. It never even seemed to faze you. Finally on the edge of the park, you take Sans through the employee entrance, and unlocke the koala cage. His eye lights light up as you grab a nearby animal, his arms wrapping around yours and nuzzling his head against your shoulders.  

"Sans, meet Harold. Harold, this is Sans," you rub the fluff on top of his head.

The koala doesn't pay much attention to the skeleton, but rather, sniffed your hair and chews on it. You make a face of disgust, but Sans only laughs.

"heh, that seems like a pretty hairy situation you got going on there,"

"Har har," you roll your eyes, but smile anyway, "Here, do you want to hold him?"

The skeleton shrugs, and opens up his arms. The animal instinctively reaches for him, latching onto his jacket and wrapping his short arms around Sans's neck. He hesitantly hugs it back with your encouragement, and strokes his back. His gray fur is rougher than he thought, thin and brittle, but somehow still firm. The kolola doesn't do much except hold him, probably already falling asleep.

"this is...kinda cool,"

"Right? Harold is one of the least active ones we have on site.  He's better with visitors and newcomers because he's so calm. Be careful though, Harold's urine can give you chlamydia."

Sans laughs and waits for you to say that you're joking. But you don't. Oh well, he's a skeleton, he can't get chlamydia.  

Uncomfortable with holding Harold for too long, Sans hands the sleeping koloa back to you, and you carry him back to his favorite tree, giving him a treat for being so friendly today. Sans watches you interact with the animal, amazed by your patience and care for such a small creature. It's not like he's never seen these traits in a human before, but you make him appreciate it. Heh, he guesses he has a thing for animals.

"you're really good at your job," Sans comments.

You beam at him, clearly proud of the compliment, as you should be.

"Thank you. People think that zookeeping is just about feeding the animals and cleaning up their poop, but it's so much more than that. These animals deserve love and care, and I'm so lucky to be the one providing that. Besides, it's pretty cool to see people running away from a ferocious leopard, when I can just go up to  it and scratch it's chin,"

"i thought about become a zoo keeper myself," Sans's grin widens, "but i just don't have the koloafications,"

"It's not that hard actually, you just-" your eyes widen, and burst out laughing, "GOSH DARN IT!"

Sans chuckles with you, startling poor Harold out of his sleep. Suddenly a familiar, nasally voice booms outside.

"SANS! IS THAT YOU???!!!" Papyrus waves from beyond the gate.

Sans waves back, "sup, bro,"

"NO WAY!" Undyne charges in front of Papyrus, pushing him out of her way with her strength, "THAT'S NOT FAIR! HOW DID YOU GET IN THERE?!"

Sans points at you, "i wore them down with koality puns til they let me in,"

Your smile strains your face, and at this point, you're wiping tears out of your eyes, stuttering out whatever you can, "Y-Yeah, he w-was just unbearable!!!"

Both Undyne and Papyrus screams, scaring the other visitors, as they both stomp towards the exit. Welp, that looks like his cue to leave. He doesn't want to be wandering the park looking for them again. He thanks you for the tour and promises to come back another time. Hopefully you're there to give him another private access. You stop him before he can take another step.

"Wait," you pause and blush,"Give me your phone,"

Sans obeys and you punch in your phone number.

"If you ever want to...hang out again, then give me a call."

Sans winks and promises to do so, waving goodbye as he exits the habitat, already looking forward to the next trip.

==

[Commission info]

[Keep me warm?]

[sending-the-message]

What Happens When you Write to Satan instead of Santa Part 4: The Neighbor Wants to Fight FrankenTeddy by lifeisstrangemetoo

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Fire breathing butterflies were whizzing around my head when I got the call from Josh’s parents. We had tried to put them in a jar, but apparently old jam jars are no match for Hellfire, and the butterflies had burned their way through.

They had also managed to burn through four of my curtains, one couch cushion and all of our ice cream(though I suspect that was actually Franken Teddy), and yet they seemed completely immune to their own fire.

I struggled to pay attention as Josh’s mom, just as much of a bully as he was, shrieked at my on the other end.

“IF YOU THINK FOR A SECOND THAT YOU CAN GET AWAY WITH HAVING SOME GOON ASSAULT AND THREATEN MY CHILD I’VE GOT BAD NEWS FOR YOU.”

“Well, um, you see Josh was pulling the wings off of Sarah’s butterflies and--”

“I DON’T GIVE A SHIT ABOUT SOME STUPID BUGS. YOU KNOW WHAT, SMART GUY? I’M GONNA HAVE MY HUSBAND COME OVER THERE AND KICK YOUR ASS.”

“Rita, I really don’t think that’s a good idea, because-”

The line clicked dead in the middle of my sentence, and sure enough, within a minute Rita’s husband was pounding on my door.

Ms. Hatchetface answered the door to reveal Rita’s husband Mike, a heavily tattooed man with way more biceps than brains, in a tight shirt that looked like someone had vomited rhinestones all over it.

“So,” he began in what I can only assume was his best tough guy voice, “where the fuck is this guy who threatened my kid?”

“Oh, Franken Teddy?” Ms. Hatchetface replied cheerily, “I think he’s upstairs trying on dresses with Sarah. Hey, Franken Teddy!” Ms. Hatchetface called out.

Mike looked a little bit unsure of himself as the seven foot tall teddy bear dressed in a unicorn cloak descended the stairs.

“I HAVE ANSWERED THE LADY HATCHETFACE’S CALL,” he boomed out in a voice so loud I could feel it in my gut.

“This man wanted to talk to you about what happened with Josh,” Ms. Hatchetface said.

“I REGRET THAT I DID NOT SEND HIM TO HELL. BUT I BELIEVE THAT FATE SHALL AFFORD ME ANOTHER OPPURTUNITY.”

That seemed to make Mike angry enough that he forgot his common sense for a moment, and he jammed a finger into Franked Teddy’s chest as he spoke.

“Nobody threatens my family,” he said through clenched teeth, “I’m gonna kick your fucking ass bro.

“I AM NOT IN POSSESSION OF AN ASS. I LACK THE HUMAN NEED TO DEFECATE,” Franken Teddy replied.

“I mean I’m going to fight you, bro.”

“I AM NOT DESIGNED FOR FIGHTING. I AM DESIGNED FOR LOVING. WOULD YOU LIKE FOR ME TO LOVE YOU INSTEAD?”

Mike’s mouth hung open in stunned silence.

“Are you...coming on to me?” he asked, his voice much smaller this time, “You know what?” He cleared his throat. “I don’t need this, I’m just going to call the cops. I’ll see you in Hell, buddy.”

“IF THAT IS WHAT YOU WISH,” Franken Teddy replied, and before I knew what what happening, there was a black and purple swirl of flames around the two of them and they had disappeared.

“Did...” I said weakly, “did he just take him to Hell?”

“Oh” Ms. Hatchetface replied, “Franken Teddy’s always been a bit literal. I’ll go fetch them.”

She stood there for a moment with a placid smile on her face.

“Are you... going to fetch them?” I asked.

“Oh, right now? Ok sure, why not.”

With that, Ms. Hatchetface disapeared in a puff of purple flames and smoke. My head began to feel warm on one side, and I wondered for a moment if I was having a stroke. Then I caught a glimpse of myself in a picture frame.

My head was on fire.

Before I had time to panic I felt a cold blast and my vision went white, and I realized I was covered in foam. I turned around to see Sarah holding the mini fire extinguisher from under the kitchen sink and grinning.

“Thanks for umppphhh--” my sentence was cut off by foam as the fire extinguisher blasted me in the face again.

“Sorry, Dad,” Sarah said. “You were still on fire a bit.”

“That’s okay, Honey,” I replied.

I heard the familiar sound of rushing air that was usually accompanied by black and purple flames and turned around to see that Ms. Hatchetface had returned, along with Franken Teddy and a much paler looking Mike.

“D-d-d-d-demons...” Mike stuttered, “I saw demons...”

“Jesus, Franken Teddy,” I said. “where did you take him?”

“I DELIVERED MY GUEST TO THE GATES OF HELL CITY’S GREATEST HELLSCAPE.”

“You uh- what now?” I asked.

“The Hellscapes are like Hell’s theme parks,” Ms. Hatchetface explained.

“Oh, that doesn’t sound so bad,” I said.

“Well, not for the demons, no,” she said. “But for the damned souls, it’s more like a themed arena of torture.”

“Oh,” I said.

“I DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THE HUMAN DID NOT ENJOY HIS TRIP. THERE WERE SNOWCONES.”

“But they were made of human blood,” Ms. Hatchetface said.

“BUT THEY WERE O-POSITIVE--THE MOST DELICIOUS KIND OF HUMAN BLOOD.”

Ms. Hatchetface’s tail twitched as she giggled.

“Well uh....” I trailed off. “Is there any way we could maybe make sure he doesn’t remember what happened?”

“I BELIEVE I CAN BE OF ASSISTANCE,” Franken Teddy replied, and before I could stop him, he had used his enormous paw to bash Mike over the back of the head.

Mike immediately fell over, either unconscious or dead.

“I HAVE SEEN THIS TECHNIQUE EMPLOYED IN THE BLACK SQUARES YOU REFER TO AS TEDDYVISION.”

“You mean television?” I asked.

“WHAT IS A TELE?”

“It’s short for telecomunni...you know what? Never mind.”

“VERY WELL.”

“So what should we do with him?” I said, staring at Mike’s unconscious form drooling onto my carpet.

“LADY HATCHETFACE HAS INFORMED ME THAT HUMANS DO NOT EAT OTHER HUMANS. I HAVE NO OTHER SUGGESTIONS.” Franken Teddy replied.

Just then an ear-splitting scream filled the air, and I saw our neighbor Rita standing in the doorway, hands on either side of her face and pale as snow.

“What did you people do to my husband?” she wailed, throwing herself on the ground and slapping Mike’s face hysterically in what I can only assume was an attempt to wake him. She must not have quite believed him when he said he was okay, because she slapped him a few more times just to make sure. When she was done making sure that he was still alive she looked up at all of us. Her eyes were bulging out of the sockets as she pointed a shaking finger at me.

“You...” she said, her face so red that she made the pink-skinned Ms. Hatchetface look like an albino, “I’ve already called the cops on you freaks. You’re all going to jail for a very long time.”

As if on cue, a police cruiser rolled to a slow stop in front of my house, and two officers made their way slowly towards my door.

“Which one of you is Rita?” the tall, dark-haired officer asked.

“I am!” Rita practically shouted as she jumped to her feet. “And these,” she said with venom in her voice, “these are the freaks who attacked my husband and son.”

Ms. Hatchetface grinned at the officers placidly as her tail snaked its way up under her skirt until it was hidden from view.

“Are you the husband?” the other office asked, kneeling down on the ground next to Mike with a sympathetic expression on his face.

“Yes,” Mike said. “Officer,” he whispered, “these people aren’t human.”

“They’re not?” the officer asked, a thin crease spreading across his brow.

“No,” Mike said. “They took me to Hell. I saw demons... and monsters... a-and-”

“Okay, well I’ve heard enough,” the first officer cut him off, turning towards Rita. “Lady, you know it’s a crime to prank call 911, right?”

“What?” Rita’s mouth flopped open like some sort of fish. “You’re acting like I’m in the wrong, here? These people... these freaks attacked my family!”

The dark-haired officer shook his head.

“Where I’m from,” he said, “we don’t call people who look different from us freaks. You can either vacate the premises on your own or you can vacate them in the back of my squad car.”

Rita’s face took on a cartoonish expression of disbelief, but when she saw that the officer wasn’t kidding she grabbed Mike’s arm and attempted to tug him to his feet. After an awkward moment of struggling the two were stumbling away back to their house. The first officer turned to Franken Teddy and said sympathetically:

“My cousin has a growth-hormone condition too. You just let me know if those people cause you any more trouble.”

He set his business card on the table next to the front door and motioned for his partner to leave.

“Oh, and, I know it’s none of my business,” he said, turning to Ms. Hatchetface, “but you should get some aloe-vera for that sunburn. Not that you uhh, don’t look beautiful. I just mean, I mean you’re very beautiful and-”

His partner loudly cleared his throat and patted the rambling officer on the back.

“Er, right,” he said. “Time to go.”

“Of course,” Ms. Hatchetface giggled as she shut the door behind them.

“Well, that went better than I expected,” I said. “I mean, that really almost got out of hand.”

“INDEED,” Franken Teddy replied. “I WAS ALMOST UNABLE TO PURCHASE A SOUVENIR FOR THE PRINCESS SARAH.”

“Wait, what?” I asked.

“Hooray, a souvenir!” Sarah squealed.

Franken Teddy began rummaging around in his unicorn cloak, and I held my breath, dreading what he would pull out of it. I let out a long sigh of relief when he finally produced an ordinary looking TV remote.

“What does it do?” Sarah asked, tilting her head to the side.

“Uhh, I don’t think that’s an appropriate gift for a child, Franken Teddy,” Ms. Hatchetface said.

“NONSENSE,” replied Franken Teddy. “IT IS A CHILD-FRIENDLY ONE.”

“A child-friendly what?” I asked.

Ms. Hatchetface plucked the remote out of Franken Teddy’s paw and began laughing to herself.

“Oh I see,” she said. “In Hell the demons watch the punishments on a sort of reality TV,” she explained, turning towards me, “and they can select the punishment they want to see with their TV remote controls.”

“Wait, what?” I said.

“But this one is for child demons,” she continued on, “take a look.”

The remote was black plastic, and looked like any other TV remote control you’d find at the store. Printed across the top in silver letters was the phrase: “The Remote of Minor Inconveniences.” Instead of numbers and menu buttons it was covered in buttons that said things like “tickle,” “tinnitus,” and “unscratchable itch.” At the center of the remote were two big purple plus and minus buttons that simply said “intensity.”

I realized that Sarah was standing on her tiptoes behind me too late to stop her from snatching it out of my hand and mashing the “tickle” button as she pointed it at Franken Teddy, who immediately erupted into roars of laughter.

“HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW. I FIND NO HUMOR IN THIS SITUATION BUT I AM UNABLE TO STOP LAUGHING. HAW HAW HAW HAW.”

I was about to take the remote away when Ms. Hatchetface caught my eye and smiled, and I forgot what I was doing.

“Why don’t we leave them to it, Mr. Rogers?” she said. “I had a um, private matter I wanted to discuss with you.”

“P-private matter?” I asked.

Those glittering obsidian eyes were like bottomless pools of water shimmering in the moonlight as they drew me in.

“Yes,” she giggled. “But let’s just keep it between us two. Maybe we could go somewhere more discreet?”

“Uh... yes, yes, discreet,” I said. Great idea.”

She smiled as she reached out and grabbed my hand, leading me slowly across the room and up the stairs.

She led me into the master bedroom and sat me down on the bed, closing and locking the door behind her, before turning towards me. One corner of her mouth was raised into a smirk as she looked at me and said:

“So about that private matter.”