#THEYRE HOT WHILE COMMITTING CRIMES THEYRE NOT ??? REAL????????

[devotedlystrangewizard]

tiktok is fun because youll see takes like "you cant like this character because they committed crimes" and then the character in question murdered maybe like. 3 people at best

[splendidshinobi]

FULLMETAL ALCHEMIST 2003 LIVE REACT: EPISODES 11-15

 LETS GO ROUND 3

episode 11: the other brothers elric part 1

yeet this thing edward

ok who r these so called other brothers

“METAL FATHER”

this girl’s uncle is sus. he’s now known as uncle lemons.

THE STONE???? WHOS MAKING A STONE 

oh shit they got kicked to the curb

“THE REAL ELRIC BROTHERS???????” WHOSE ASS

i bet “alphonse” is the taller one

never mind

this twink is annoying

on your knees???????????????????????

ed plz

oh twink doesnt need a circle but doubtful he’s opened a portal of truth

he’s got philosopher’s juice instead i suppose!!

wheres mugear or whoever

oh found him

LUST <3

girly looks hot 

anyways

oh its uncle lemons

these townspeople are annoying as shit

wow what a parallel tragic backstory

operation mole hole

what is the cough sub plot

i have questions

hmm there we go thx fletcher

ugh the twink is back 

and now he’s an attempted murderer

OH FUCKKKKKKKK

great going twink your brother is gonna die

his villain origin story 

uhhh what? part 2 i guess

episode 12: the other brothers elric part 2

fletcher is a homie

ed’s window dive was so dramatic

i literally cannot tell you what the twink’s name is

he is just twink

mugear is suspicious 

he’s not even an alchemist??? bro

who is nash tringham

is he important other than in this specific episode arc

nash tringham and uncle lemons definitely got naughty back in the day

to be fair what is uncle lemons’ name? i do not know

like i cant be expected to remember every one bit character’s name? especially when i have all this other fma knowledge floating around in my head

MARCOH!!!!!!!

why is ed sitting in the tree like that

ed: “google earth...always taking pics”

what is this stone making process with pregnant ladies who thought of this

lets all throw mugear in a septic tank

sussssssss

edward is so unimpressed by this mans

HAHA yes edward my son

“it’s been a good while since i killed anyone. i kinda miss it.” EDWARD YOU KILL ME LMAOOO

uh oh he’s got a red water gun or somethin

so fletcher is the plant alchemist i see

twink’s name is RUSSELL????? how did i miss that

wooooooof sucks to suck mugear

thats A LOT of red water

fletcher’s alchemy is so weird

from the redwood forest to the gulf stream waterssss

what in tarnation is this boy doing

i guess we have another prodigy on our hands okayyyy

why do i feel like we’ll see the tringhams again

uncle lemons strikes again with LEMONS

whats in the letter????

from russell??? why r u so embarrassed edward

thats mighty homosexual of you good sir

episode 13: fullmetal vs flame

so this one is called fullmetal vs flame which makes me think theyre animating that bonus chapter??!!!??!!! yes!!!!!

colonel sarcasm?? nice ed

i too enjoy mocking roy toy

al found a cat

he definitely did

yup

um who’s yelling

probably mustang that dumpster fire of a man

BREDA!!!!!!!!!

black hayate!!!!!!! baby!!!!!!!

FUERY!!!!! he’s so small

breda is a mess omg

havoc is a mess too

kitty! “he called to me” precious al

these boys are a trainwreck 

oh sad kitty flashback

mustang is such a freak 

yeaH i wondER if mustang knows marcoh hmmmmmm HMMM

“names not familiar” yeah sure baby all yall ishval war criminals know each other

ARMSTRONG!!! hey!!!

ummm wtf fuhrer bradley 

UM WHO IS THE LADY UM

hughes is a mESS

ed’s gremlin face gives me life

roy with hayate...im scared

take that dog away from him

yayayay bonus chapter fight scene!

shut up miniskirt man 

oh no take the mic away from hughes

“you just want a promotion!!!” “give back my girlfriend!!!” im dying

i too would love to put a fist in mustang’s face

“too slow” damn idk that was kinda hot

but no im still gonna kill him

he’s so stupid

this is so chaotic

oooh cut the glove yessss

ope never mind

oh great he’s getting flashbacks... well shit happens when you commit war crimes

“ehhh???”

oh hmm theyre saying ishBal in this one instead of ishVal

ill probably still write ishval im more used to that

oh no black hayate she’s gonna pop a cap ive seen this clip before

she did it

“strict mommy” oh um ok

poor kitty cat

scar IS heather

episode 14: destruction’s right hand

back in liore with some more amestrian war crimes on the docket for today

ayyy envy our favorite morally corrupt they/them

gluttony’s snack time

new op lets gooooo

im not vibing as much but hey its kinda poppin

oh hey armstrong what up baby

to be fair ed did meet marcoh with armstrong in manga canon so

hahaha no thats not the fullmetal alchemist...thats alphonse!!!

marcoh’s voice sounds different hold on 

yep different VA

dr marcoh’s alchemical oobleck 

oh hey basque grand u sexy mustachioed bootlicker you shouldnt be here

what the FUCK he’s a weapon of mass destruction

i wish so hard netflix let you screenshot so i could add pics for added value!!!

if philosophers stones fall under grand’s jurisdiction then he is VERY SUS

he aint it

ope hey scar 

this is an odd amalgamation of plot points

oops boy bye

ive always enjoyed scar’s CLEARLY adidas brand track pants

ummmm why did scar’s brother have BROWN hair

i- ok

i miss j michael tatum

ooooooh armstrong baby i was wondering where you were!

rose!!!! tell him!!! fuck u hakuro!!!!

trying to help?? dont make me laugh you’re a general in the amestrian military

episode 15: the ishbal massacre

kinda early for the ishval talk imo?? wonder what we’ll learn

armstrong is literally the buff rasputin trope on tiktok rn

“accidentally” shot an ishvalan child. hmm yeah no

envy just sneezed

HEY KIMBLEE YOU LITTLE SHIT

kimblee looks like christmas came early

they gave roy a stone??????? sounds noncanonical but ok

basque grand is literally wildin out fuck that guy

yuriy and sara’s skeletal remains just sneezed in the ground

wait a damn minute

wait a fucking minute

did roy

shoot

yuriy and sara

ROY SHOT WINRY’S PARENTS

and now hes gonna shoot himself

IM 

im taking a lap around my apartment OH MY GOD WHAT IN THE HELLLLLLLL

IM NEVER GOING TO RECOVER FROM THIS 

FINANCIALLY OR OTHERWISE

im texting my sister about it right now and just SCREAMING

OH NO NO NO MARCOH DO NOT TELL ED WHO KILLED THE ROCKBELLS

oh good he ran away

i literally CANNOT handle them finding out about this

ahaha roy shoots the gun in the air again

roy take that glove off its raining

riza’s leg sweep was way less funny this time

WAIT IT JUST OCCURRED TO ME THAT ROY WAS AT THE HOUSE AND SPOKE TO WINRY AND PINAKO

i mean hes no idiot he knew

what did marcoh just do to scar im confused

nothing will ever make sense to me again after what ive just witnessed

feral al lets gooo

so this episode’s events were pretty similar. other than marcoh.

AND THE FUCKING ROY MUSTANG ISSUE...,........... 

OH NOOOOOO 

MOMS VOICE???

MOMS VOICE????

episode 15 said hey bitch lets watch your world come CRASHING The FUCK DOWN

[wherearemyglassesbro]

The DNR au executions in order ✨ Dont read if it’ll make you uncomfortable :)

Murder #1: Alfred Jones is the first to kill. He’s overcome with the feeling of helplessness and can’t mentally handle being there. When Kumakuma gave everyone their first disguised motive, Alfred was pushed over the edge. His ‘motivation tape’ was a video of his parents’ farmhouse burning. It still isn’t clear if it was faked or real but that video hit Alfred like a ton of bricks. He kept up his cheery facade and decided to wait to make his move despite being desperate. He watched his classmates closely, just waiting to see weakness in them. He wouldnt go after a girl or someone bigger than him...He finally decided on Kiku. He was soft spoken and kept to himself so....He’d be easy to get to!! Around 3am, Alfred snuck out of his room and down the hall, knocking on Kiku’s door “Hey buddy uh....Look man I’m having trouble sleeping and I wanted to walk around a bit. Would you come with me? I don’t think it’s safe to walk around alone and I trust you”. Kiku is flattered and he agrees to walk around with Al. Little does he know, Alfred’s got a kitchen knife tucked into his jacket. They walk and walk, Alfreds getting fidgety. Kiku’s confused by his behavior but he understands that this place can make you feel jittery. They arrive at the second floor gate “Ok Alfred-san I think we should head back from here. I’m pretty tired, arent you-?” Alfred throws him against the gate, knocking the wind out of him which gives Al enough time to retrieve his knife and bury it into Kiku’s chest “I-I’m so sorry....I’m so fucking sorry...I don’t want this...I didn’t want to have to do this...But I need to get out of here....” he arranged Kiku’s body to make it look like he stabbed himself and runs away. Halfway back to his room he realizes that his shoes are bloody!! Shit!! So he takes them off to run the rest of the way back in his socks. He washes off his shoes and wears that same pair the next morning when everyone meets up for breakfast. Everyone realized that Kiku was gone way faste than Al expected and they split up into two groups to go find him......”Ding dong dong ding”....”A body has been discovered!!” And it begins.

Execution #1: Cannonball. Alfred Jones has been found guilty! Time for his punishment! His punishment for killing The Ultimate Gamer, Kiku Honda, is one final stunt! One exclusive show for his classmates! He’s the first to go so everybody buckle up! Alfred is stuffed into a Monokuma cannon! Wowie! The cannon is aimed at a huge target allllll the way across the room. The target is about a football field away. The canon starts to rumble...it gets louder and louder...Everyones freaking out!! And then, the floor opens! And Alfred is shot into a murky pool full of piranhas! Canonball!! His classmates are forced to stand and watch until there’s nothing left of their friend.

Murder #2: Tension rises after Alfred’s trial and execution because that was everyone’s brutal wake up call. This is very real. This is a game theyre forced to play. Kumakuma provides another motive only hours after the trial, calling everyone to the gym to present a stack of money! 20 million dollars to be exact! This is supposed to bribe the greedy ones into killing. Luciana Vargas begins to get cocky. She and Natalya start fighting. And I mean fighting. They scream, throw shit, all that! The others have to intervene most of the time too. It’s getting out of hand. And Nat can’t take it anymore!! Luciana likes to do her laundry at night so Natalya sneaks up on her...very quiet...She’s not wearing shoes, not even breathing as she approaches. And it’s all to easy. She snatched up a scarf and threw it around Luciana’s neck, brutally strangling her and whispering in her ear as she took her final breaths “You bitch...you slimy, nasty, fucking whore...I hate you...I hate you I hate you! I feel no remorse...You snake...You evil, cocky bitch...” The last thing Luciana sees is Natalya’s smiling face. Once she’s dead, Nat stuffs Luciana’s corpse into the washing machine and leaves. It takes three days for her to be discovered....Ding dong dong sing....and when she is, she’s discovered by Michelle of all people. Michelle faints and hits her head super hard on the ground, which makes this an even bigger ordeal. Everyone suspects Nat from the start since the two were fighting so much and the evidence all leads to her anyway. Luciana managed to rip out a few of Nat’s hairs so those were found at the scene....

Execution #2: Eye Of The Beholder. Natalya Braginskya has been found guilty! Time for her punishment! Her punishment for killing The Ultimate Designer, Luciana Vargas, is to face off against 10,000 bees! Natalya is placed in a giant glass bubble which is teetering on a ledge shaped like a hand. Bees are quickly pumped into the sphere! As Natalya struggles while shes being brutally stung, she makes the glass ball shift too much! And in doing so, she and the bees fall to their deaths, the glass ball crashing into the floor 4 stories below! She was beautiful! And her death made sure she would no longer be. Or...no longer...’bee’

Murder #3: it’s almost three weeks after Nat’s trial and none of the motives are working. Kumakuma has presented six motives and everyone has decided to stick to their friedship. That just won’t do. Kumakuma then decides to dig deep into everyone’s pasts, finding their darkest secrets. He slips a folder under everyone’s door...The secrets cause Francis to snap. He can’t take this anymore. Kumakuma is going to release his darkest secrets to the media in 48 hours if someone doesn’t kill. Oh god oh god oh no...Francis’s folder if full of secrets. He slept with a director, gave another actor food poisoning to take his role, drove over a coworker’s leg with a gold cart so they couldn’t perform, all sorts of awful things that he did to secure his career. Things that his poor mother didn’t know. That his sister didn’t know. No one was supposed to know any of this but...him. He couldn’t allow this to get out! This would wreck his family!!! He calmed himself down enough to draft a plan. He wrote out his entire murder plan from start to finish. It was foolproof. (Spoiler alert, it wasn’t). He caught Arthur in the hall as everyone was heading off to their rooms after dinner and guided him away where no one would see, sneaking him into the bath house. It was all coming together...This was going to work...Francis is the ultimate actor of course! He’s been working on Arthur from day one, flirting with him and being nice. He had a feeling that Arthur’s loyalty would come in handy!! Now it was time to put him to use. He and Art stripped and got in the hot tub, Fran made conversation and then offered to wash Art’s hair. Of course Art complied....Then Francis did what he had to do. He shoved Art’s head underwater and held him there. Art put up a good fight, he screamed and fought hard but in the end, Fran was just stronger and heavier so when he finally managed to sit on his head, it was all over for him. Francis didn’t bother arranging the body, he dried himself off and left the scene. He was very stealthy about his exit and he took the long way back to his room just to be sure. His downfall? He smelled like the soap from the bathhouse. That soap is only in the bathhouse. That was the one detail that got him. And when that detail was discovered, his cool facade started breaking, he’d never been so nervous before and even as the ultimate actor, he couldn’t mask his guilt forever.

Execution #3: The Stage Of Kings. Francis Bonnefoy has been found guilty! Time for his punishment! His punishment for killing The Ultimate Mathlete, Arthur Kirkland, is to put on one final performance! Francis is strapped into a chair in the middle of an ornate stage. He’s dressed as a king with the whole garb and crown. Above him are three chandeliers, one falls and hits the stage on either side of him, scaring the crap outta him and the final one lowers down....lowers down...until it’s right over his chair. And then BOOM!!! In one horrific movement, the chandelier falls on top of him and explodes!! BA BAM!! To signify the end of the performance, black and red rose petals fall from the ceiling and into the viewing area where the other students are and applause plays from the speakers.

Murder #4: Another motive has been presented. This motive is success. ‘If you kill someone and graduate, you’ll be guaranteed even more success than before. Your name will be everywhere, you’ll get many interviews and all kinds of publicity! Media coverage beyond your wildest dreams!!’. This sparked something in Berwald. Berwald has always been the rock of the group. He’s emotionally detached, intelligent and strong. He did very little in the actual trials but if he thought someone was wrong he’d say so. Berwald thought that he’d never be a suspect if he ever did commit something...All he had to do was disguise the crime scene. Plant hair. Contaminate evidence. Move things around. Anything he could to frame someone else! He had a plan. He would kill Matthias, the stupid dancer who he couldn’t stand to be around. Then he’d frame Carmen. He found a pair of the shoes she wore and took them from the supply room, keeping them for himself. It took awhile to get all of the supplies he needed. Tarps, tools from the art room, a bag of blood from the nurses office. Everything was coming together!!! This was going to work!! He could almost taste his freedom! He got too cocky. Berwald followed Matthias, who was blissfully unaware of what was happening, as he wandered around the school. He followed Matthias up to the 3rd floor and cornered him in the red room!!! But Matthias was too fast!! As Berwald went to hit him over the head, Matthias grabbed a Kumakuma bottle and smashed it over his head!! Berwald now had blood running down his face into his eyes! Matthias took this as an opportunity to snatch up another bottle, breaking that one on his head too! BAM!! After a THIRD hit to the head, Berwald fell to the ground and died. Matthias was horrified with what he had done...now he was standing in a puddle of blood, covered in Berwald’s blood...Even though this was technically self defense, he still killed him!! Oh no!!! He rifled though Berwald’s bag and managed to piece together the origional plan! He made bloody footprints with the girls shoes and dumped his own shoes (and the rest of Berwald’s bag’s contents) in hallway garbage can. Jittery and in shock, he made his way back to his room to shower. His biggest mistake was leaving a partial bloody handprint on his own doorknob.

Execution #4: ‘Dance Dance Execution!’. Matthias Kohler has been found guilty! It’s time for his punishment! His punishment for killing Berwald Ox, The Ultimate CEO, is to dance for his life! A ‘dance dance revolution’ machine is set up for everyone to see. Matthias is set up on the machine and must dance at the highest level in order to stay alive. He gets three chances, each misstep makes the machine go faster, demanding that Matthias dances faster. When he messes up the first time, buzzer rings out and strobe lights turn on. Now the his vision is obscured as he dances. The second time he messes up, he’ll hear a buzzer again and the sound of a roaring crowd is pumped into the room, making it harder for him to hear the song the machine is playing. The third time he messes up, the room goes silent, the machine stops and the lights come on all the way to reveal a giant, heavy, metal box dangling from the ceiling. The box then falls, crushing him and the ‘dance dance’ machine too.

“Murder” #5: The students have all been desperate to figure out the mystery of the school. They’ve gone to the bathhouse and student bathrooms countless times to formulate plans to sneak around. They’ve distracted Kumakuma, stolen things from different rooms, found a headmasters key tucked away in the library. They’ve been able to uncover the mystery of why there are 16 trial stands. There are 16 students. What the fuuuck???? They get ahold of Gilbert’s student file and within a day, a body is found. Ding dong dong ding!....Huh??? Everyone rushes to where they hear screams! Up on the 4th floor, slumped against the music room door is Gilbert Beilschmidt!!! The student they just discovered in the files!! His face is mutilated and a chunk of skin on his shoulder is missing. His file indicates that he has a tattoo there to commemorate his first gold medal. Everyone is now rightfully freaking out, everyone suspects eachother!! They go into the trial practically blind.

Execution....#5...?: The trial for Gilbert Beilschmidt’s murder is the most chaotic one yet. No evidence is making sense...But...One little detail. Michelle had gone to the bathroom alone that morning while everyone else was at breakfast at 7:15. And Gilbert’s death was around 7:30 so....She had plenty of time to go kil him and come back before breakfast was over at 9! After that fact came to light, everyone agreed that Michelle was the killer and...she was sentanced! Huh??? Michelle didn’t kill anyone!!! She just barely saved herself by posing the question: ‘Couldnt Gilbert have even killed by the mastermind? Not one of us?’. Everyone then quickly turned on Kumakuma, asking who controlled him. After an hour in the trial room, arguing and yelling, The real Gilbert showed himself in his true, mastermind glory! He admits to being part of the Ultimate Despair. The dead ‘Gilbert’ was just another corpse. A decoy. But the students figured him out. The trial continued long into the night as the students worked through the mysteries of the school, the tragedy, whats outside, all of it. Gilbert laughed and went along with it, encouraging despair to take over the students. “If you convict Michelle, I’ll allow you all to continue living here in peace! But if you convince me~ Well, you have to go. The second I die, the air purifiers will go off! And so will the fridges, air conditioner, water pumps, all of it! You’ll be forced to leave! Go out into that hopeless world you love so much and die there, motherfuckers~”

Execution #5: The Finale. The students all convince Gilbert, they stick together to the very end. Gilbert laughs and laughs, hitting the button to announce his own punishment. He whoops and hollers as he strides into the punishment room, happily straps himself onto a wheel with a target on it. The punishment begins! The wheel starts spinning. Slow at first then faster and faster and faster! Kumakuma robots throw knives at Mach speed, each knife hitting Gil in different places. Throughout his punishment, he laughs and hollers through the whole thing. The students think it’s worse than screams of pain....When hes dead they all get to leave....and see what’s outside...

((I hope this isn’t too rambly lmao alsoooo please don’t think I’m like....fucked up or something lmao aijssjkshdvs))

[starflyfarm]

(hmgh the inbox is empty n im kinda bored so have sum incoherent thoughts n ideas abt lou under the cut)

(i think ive mentioned a few times tht lou likes singing but that is admittedly an understatement. he loves singing. he hears a song he knos the lyrics to and he feels incredibly compelled to sing tho his lack of confidence stops him in public spaces. u may hear a bit of humming when no ones paying attention to him tho)

(going off that there are certain kindsa songs he likes singing more than others, think its been mentioned that he likes higher energy music generally speaking so naturally thats the kinda music he likes to sing to but he REALLY likes songs he can just belt to it feels so satisfying to him. he is surprisingly good at adele songs)

(he cannot sing really rough throaty songs to save his life tho like just thinkin abt it makes his throat hurt. he likes a fair bit of metal and screamo n stuff but his voice is just too smooth to sing it. smooth but lightly textured. like vanilla icecream w the lil vanilla beans n stuff still in it. hes also not very good at whistling)

(hes mostly a tenor but he does have a pretty decent range and his falsetto is p decent tho it does hurt his throat)

(its also been mentioned that hes alright at guitar but i like 2 thnk inbetween whatever actual lessons he took the very first songs he taught himself were probably sum very embarrassing sappy little love songs w simple chords. u kno how it is when ur a repressed gay teenager)

(idk how any of yall read his voice but generally he talks kinda quietly, very much not a very loud or present person, which is good for not getting caught committing crimes but not very good for socializing as he has discovered.)

(his semi soft voice is decently reflective of his physical characteristics too, i think i mentioned like once that his hair is very thick and soft, but his skin is also p soft with the exception of some scars here and there)

(speaking of his more notable scars are a burn scar on his right forearm from when he was really young, no one remembers exactly how he got it but it had something to do with a kitchen accident, and sum cut scars on his left shoulder from shortly after he’d moved out of his mom’s house. he also has various minor scars on his hands and wrists from handling/playing with cats and getting into the occasional knife fight back in the city as well as a very small scar on his upper lip from a time a dog bit his face when he was young)

(u might not guess it but he is incredibly clumsy and does not have the best spatial awareness when it comes to like. objects. he does fine not crashing into people but hes probably bumped into a lamp post at least once)

(idk if its ever come across but he also does lots of hand gestures when hes talking. snapping his fingers or shaking his hands when hes tryna think trying to illustrate what hes talking about with vague motions. he does a lot of shit w his hands in general, tapping fingers on surfaces drumming his hands on his legs, doin peace signs n finger guns and playing with his fingers/clothes mindlessly)

(hes also the kinda person who has an idle animation™ when hes not distracted by talking to someone or just paying attention to something he’ll probably rock back n forth on his feet or bobbing up and down probably to the rhythm of a song stuck in his head or something, speaking of songs, again, humming is a thing he does too)

(if u read the previous 2 points and thought “that sounds like stimming” ur exactly right)

(he stumbles over his words a bunch when hes excited, even if hes trying to keep his cool stumbling and stuttering are some of the most tell tale signs of him being excited tho it also happens when hes anxious or flustered. id say it applies to strong emotions in general but it absolutely does not apply to stuff like when hes real angry or sad)

(when hes real angry or sad his speech tends to actually be much more concise, he’ll speak slower and take time to really consider his words. when he’s angry both his expression and the words he chooses have the potential to cut like a hot knife thru soft butter, and when he’s sad hes more considering his words to try and keep from bringing the person hes talking to down)

(ive drawn him with a sketchbook a couple times but he probably has a journal with some writing in it too, nothing serious just thoughts he has sometimes phrased with flowery words but its not like. super amazing poetry or anything. hes no elliott)

(speaking of sketchbooks he absolutely draws his friends from time to time. hes incredibly embarrassed by it and hed never show anyone but he does it. a lot of his doodles are accompanied by lil thoughts and comments he has while makin em)

(back when he worked for joja i like to think he was like a phone operator for like. the joja help line or smth which is an oxymoron and he probably spent most of his work day getting yelled at by ppl over the phone. he does not like talking on the phone. much prefers texting)

(idk how clear ive made it on the blog but he absolutely hates morris. morris is probably the only person in town who hes like physically threatened. morris has thusly elected to avoid fucking with him as much as physically possible)

(i think its been mentioned he carries some kinda pocket knife on him at all times but he also likes to carry one a those novelty combs that looks n acts like a switchblade but its not. mostly just to fuck w ppl. pull out what looks like a switchblade then open it and hah uve been fooled it was a comb all along)

(speaking of combs bcus his hair is thick and wavy as mentioned before hes gotta take real good care of it or it gets. Unmanageable. when he was a teenager he didnt take care of it for a while n it got so long and tangled it broke like 2 combs it was awful)

(that in mind he is prone to getting wicked bed head. catch him when he first wakes up and its like a rat king was planted on his head)

(also did i mention he has several knives? pocket knives switchblades hes probably got a decorative dagger in a box somewhere, and ofc his monster fighting sword. he probably has a pair of brass knuckles somewhere too)

(its defintiely been hinted at more than a few times but lou is a huge foodie. he is always hungry and loves food but he cant stand mint or bitter tastes sometimes he has a hard time w sour stuff too. he likes spicy and savory/umami/w/e foods best, and while he does have a decent sweet tooth he can make himself sick off sugary stuff pretty easy especially w really dense sweets like fudgy brownies n shit)

(the reason hes not so good w mint and bitter things is cus his senses r very keen and bitter and mint are very unpleasant to his mouth and nose. theyre intense and stick around much longer than theyre welcome and it just feels bad ykno. this in mind he could not explain to u why he likes spicy stuff as much as he does)

(hes also really sensitive to like actual temperatures, especially heat. if it gets too hot and humid it can make him real nauseous n give him a migraine, hes better in the cold but even then it makes him really sneezy n sniffly. this is moderately ironic considering the previous point)

(jhjh im gonan stop here bcus this is getting super long but this is absolutely not all the stuff ive thought of. its mostly just the more lighthearted n mundane stuff that i could remember off the top of my head lmao)

[charlotte-the-magician]

because i cant send an anon ask

Imagine Charlotte being spit roasted by Julian and Muriel in the shop. Like, its still dusk and she didn't even get the chance to close up shop or lock the door so really anyone can just accidently walk in and spook em

If julian hittin the back and Muriel in the front, julians pace is kinda frivolous and uncoordinated and just all over the place. Slowing and stopping to plant kisses on her back and laying saccharine 'thank yous' for letting him please her like this, how she wont regret it in the morning. only to grip her hips and gradually pick up the speed like a hare in heat. Shamelessly filling the room with drenched skin slapping noises. It kinda annoys muri cause hes trying real hard not to hurt charlotte because he knows he's a bit big.Julians pushing and pulling does most of the work for muri so he doesn't have to do too much. But hes such a gentleman about it, holding her hair up with one hand and trying to keep her lifted with the other. and god does his heart melt when she makes eye contact with him.it takes everything within him not to rear back and slam into her tight little throat to see her cheeks hollow and fill back up. Muri is the last to cum because he wants to fill her stomach with his heavy ass load

However, if its Muriel in the back, and julian in the front, Muris got that slow sensual build up pace. He wants Charlotte to feel every inch of him inside her. Every vein, every twitch, to the curve of his dick. she cant help but moan and whimper since he can hit that spot deep within her with little to no effort. hes practically teasing her, every time he slowly pulls out and waits for the perfect moment where shes juuuust about prepared for him to enter, he avalanches right back into her before she can take a breath through her nose. meanwhile up front julians busy filling her mouth and face with cum every chance he gets. Trust and believe that boy can last multiple rounds. he cant resist how hot and moist her mouth is so of course he wants to keep going long after his dick is VERY oversensitive. And since muris not much of a talker, and charlottes mouth is...preoccupied, its up to julian to slather her in praises on what a good girl shes being for him and how needy he is for that mouth hes been thinking about all day.

And theyre both big boys and Charlottes so either Charlottes arms and legs are holding onto dear life onto their legs to steady herself or its been hours and her little limbs are dangling in the air while her eyes are rolling back.

and hey! remember that unlocked door from earlier? No one has noticed that a certain magician has opened the door just a crack to view the sight before him. No one knows that he can feel the overwhelming heat of pleasure drowning all his senses straight into his heart. and down his pelvis. He knows its wrong to do it. especially since its still a bit light out. But theres no one in the streets right now, and its not like he can just walk in and pretend nothing happening. He knows how she feels about them. How...platonically...she feels about him. He wasn't invited after all. So the unknown peeping tom shamefully helps himself by the door. silently calling out her name.

And where is faust during all of this? She knew this was all gonna go down today. She knew asra would be there at that point. Now was the perfetc time. To commit them crimes babeeyyyyy

(im sorry asra and faust were random additions I didn't need)

----

Someone submitted this and deleted I think but omg who are youu?????? That was a wild ride ooof please come back someday

[hotdadlicense]

ahh for my dearest zhenya @fapfapfashion lover! heres that bfu post i said id make for you like monnnnnths ago i PROMISE i never forgot! just :(:( life. but anyway this was FUN i love youuuu! disclaimer: im not rly in the fandom this is all stuff i see through like just some friends reblogging stuff every now and again and whenever i go to the tag to find stuff sometimes but ANWAY I HOPE its semi coherent <3<3<3 love YOU.

OKAY I FEEL LIKE i said YEH ILL MAKE YOU A MASTERPOST FUCK YEAH but now im like hmmm making a buzzfeed unsolved masterpost is.......not that much cos its like? all there on their youtube channels like its not like music or stuff where theres yknow albums! singles! unreleased songs! special live performances! music videos! documentaries! band info! like its all over on buzzfeed multiplayer youtube and buzzfeed unsolved network youtube but whatever i can ramble about dumb shit and link some stuff so ayeee.

heres the links to the actual videos:

SUPERNATURAL

+ season one // two // three // four // five

+ supernatural: postmortem

TRUE CRIME

season one // two // three // four

+ true crime: postmortem

all eps in order (including postmortem)

personal favs

a vid that bab @chantillystars linked me and i watch it every time im feelin not fresh so i can smile

someone elses better done video round up master post! op ur incredible

now under the cut cos i realy did ramble :(

okay so THE HOSTS!

RYAN BERGARA (insta//twitter)

the fucking creator and inventer of bfu its his baby and im so proud of him and how far its come <3

when the season finale of the latest supernatural premiered it trended at number 1 over the fucking new lion king trailer and he got emo on twitter and insta about it and i cried a lil bit

fucking loves sports basketball or whatever themeparks popcorn and paddington bear

not scared enough of ghosts to not sleep in a haunted house but is scared enough that he absolutely will scream the whole entire time that he is in said haunted house

first ghost encounter was on the queen mary when he was a teenager. the ghost knocked his toothpaste of the shelf and he freaked. and now he has shat his pants at every bump in the night since. icon!

works his ass for to produce mass amounts of content for us like its fucking insane? all up there are like 9 seasons of bfu plus post-mortems and its only been going since 2014?? plus everything else hes got happening??

rly sweet and funny but like in a frat boi kinda way but like. a frat boi you could trust?

SHANE MADEJ (insta//twitter)

wasnt actually the original cohost!

(BRENT was the orignal host but had to beg out a couple episodes in cos he was juggling too many commitments so which fair!)

ryan and shane were desk partners and longtime buzzfeed pals that ? if i remember correctly? interned together back when they first started?

ryan turned to shane one day and was like ‘yo, wanna cohost this show with me?’ and shane was like 'sure.’ and honestly trying to picture it now without shane?? okay ryan and shane just bounce off each other so well theyre like a dream team. god bless them being desk buddies and work pals.

shanes a freak

does not believe in ghosts spirits orbs and all things that go bump in the night like he seems to genuinely want to but like. science and his big ass brain wont let him.

very smart! can rly work a patterned floral shirt! or plaid! kinda gives a dad vibe in glasses but then he talks and its like okay please never supervise a child!

v into history! so much so that he has his own lil show on buzzfeed aka:

RUINING HISTORY

stars him along with ryan and sara (his beautiful and smart and talented gf who also works at buzzfeed <3) with some other ever changing cohosts

hes also responsible for The Hot Dog Saga aka THE HOTDAGA and i know there are people that adore it but! in their own words! id rather walk into the sea.

ryan, too, hates the hotdaga and i feel like this was? about the hotdaga after shane sung something fuck if i remmebr

RYAN + SHANE

these gifs are from the ?second ep? i saw of them honestly it rly sums up the ryan/shane dynamic i guess

but like. the way ryan looks and laughs whenever shane says something mildly funny? hearteyes mutherfucker

above when i said shanes a freak? yeah.

ryan letting shane live as long as he has? true friendship

whenever theyre at the lil desk in their lil basement talking cases shane just talks shit and ryan just lets him and i fucking love them

the LAST FRAME

oh one time they lucked out with a hotel that had a jacuzzi tub <3

yknow what? this was actually kinda sweet. like yeh bitch

shane madej: nations greatest tragedy.

i can hear this in my head just looking at these gifs and it makes me laugh everytime and thats BAD cos a child fucking died

shanes a freak pt.2

OH SHIT one time in postmortem they joked that brent was coming back and shane was leaving and fuck? they had to actually address that it was a joke fUCK

its not all shittalking and screaming there really is some fond and happy shit too

bfu most recognisable and iconic line.

shanes hottest pick up lines when hes on site

the comments on the video for this ep about this part are fucking hilarious please read when you watch that ep

okay its common knowledge that shanes a demon which ill tlak about in a sec but THIS SCENE RIGHT HERE? ryans the fucking demon. like the way hes just standing there, hands clasped behind his back, giving shane (whos acting like a CHILD) that Look? demon bout to kill the dumbass chillin at a haunted house on halloween. come to collet a soul or 10. magical!

OKAY SO SHANE TALKS SOME BIG GAME IN THE EPS but HIS love for ryan will always melt my heart like HE LOVES and cares about ryan so much and supports buzzfeed unsolved so much and whenever things get dumb on social media shanes ready to call it out and make a post or just like. praise ryan (like he rightfully deserves) and yeah im emo about it anyway hes shane being cute part one and heres shane REALLY FUCKING going all out (!!!!!!!!!!.meme)i LOVE him also being cute part two

‘id walk into the sea.’

shanes a freak pt.3

ryan: “Are ghosts real?” shane: *this dumb face*

NERDS

i laughed for like 10 minutes the first time i watched this part thankyou shane

THEM LAUGHING TILL THEY CRIED ABOUT SOMEONE THAT DIED PLAYING THE PIANO

a real insight to shanes mind

ryan really puts up with this

shane got a bowlcut once just for funsies like okay youre no joba but good job i guess

TROPES/ICONIC MEMES/WAHTEVER:

shanes a demon

+ free real estate.meme

+ the office.meme

+ he aint right

+ JALDSHFK FUCK

+ ryan acknowledging that shane is a demon thankyou

+ like the good thing about having a guest fill in on the few times shanes been away has been ryan always being like okay so the demons not here so lets just acknowledge That

goatsman bridge

+ the video that started all this aka the one you reblogged hehhehe

+ what a fucking JOKE

+ an absolute JOKE

+ bridge owner fuck OFF

+ ksdjhfgjhsdkj.meme

sallie house

+ shane was insufferable this episode i fell in love for real how did ryan LIVE

+ like imagine trying to feel your heart beating while fucking shanes over there doing That

+ rock n roll buckaroo

+ swell has become apart of my daily vocal i hate

bobby mack

+ ‘hey there demons. its me, ya boi.’

+ ‘and frankly i dont believe in you, so i feel like im writing a letter to santa claus right now.’

+ tweet.meme

+ overall a great ep

+ can shane calm the fuck down okay i need ryan to make it out of this SAFELY and ALIVE

father thomas

+ ryans FACE also shane being that annoying sibling to ur parents

+ father thomas really went into this thinking he could help these boys to be fair shane was taking notes. ryan was just? dying inside

+ freak

+ imagine being like a 70 yr old priest hearing some dudes walking into ur congregation and overhearing ‘jesus said chill.’

bigfoot

+ ryan does not rly believe in bigfoot but shane does so like you win some you lose some

+ in the least shippy way possible this epsiode is ultimate soft gays going on a hike

+ like its just such a sweet domestic ep

+ <3

+ just happy babbey

[dreamoftowers]

Scary OTP meme: Commanderbang!

AAAAAA THANK YOU SO MUCH

Which one is more fond of scary movies:

holly for sure

Which one gets the most excited about Halloween:

holly!!! she loves halloween, and if im correct i think its her favorite holiday!

Which one would be more likely to survive the apocalypse:

oh gosh uhhhh i’d say holly again lol, she loves reading stuff abt the apocalypse . dan would make silly mistakes and holly would have to pull out her survivor’s guide book and scold him lol

Which one would literally kill for the other:

hmmmmm i’d say dan, i feel like dan would be so protective over holly that he would def kill somebody in a really extreme situation

Which one likes to scare or startle the other:

holly for sure!!! she knows dan’s a scaredy cat and loves scaring him, and sometimes she makes like a scary cosplay to disguise herself in and will run into the room he’s in screaming and cursing

Which one is more likely to need comforting when they get spooked:

dan, poor daniel. dan has fucking nightmares and gets shaken up just from horror games and movies, and if holly scares him, dan gets so shaken up that holly always feels bad and ends up making him hot cocoa and comfort food and they snuggle up together while she constantly apologizes aaaa

Which one always puts on a brave face:

holly! she’s the one that has to comfort dan if theyre in like a really scary situation. she knows that dan’s freaking out so much already so she puts on a brave face to keep him calm even tho she’s probably just as scared as him, if not more

Which one would be more dangerous if they suddenly became violent:

DAN, OH MY GOD DAN. i feel like dan has a lot more pent up rage then holly does. holly doesnt really show anger a lot, she always tries to turn whatever anger she has into a more neutral/passive emotion, and actually tries to mentally/emotionally solve whatever she’s feeling. dan on the other hand bottles up anger like a motherfucker, and if he’s provoked and pushed really far over the edge, then he would definitely lose whatever peaceful morals he has and go fucking ballistic, and would probably murder someone tbh.

Which one would be more likely to commit a crime:

dan, he’s somewhat used to avoiding getting caught by police and stuff like that i guess lol

Which one believes in ghosts:

hollyyyyyyyyy

Which one likes to watch spooky show on television:

holly!!! sometimes dan watches them with her but he gets too scared to stick around for the whole thing and purposely goes to sleep on her lol

Which one would propose the idea of holding a seance:

definitely holly. she would even drag dan into it to try and scare the shit out of him while they use a ouija board

Which one has nightmares more often:

dan for sure, holly puts lavender in his pillow and utilizes some simple witchcraft herbs and stuff to try and ease his nightmares

Which one would want to explore a real haunted house:

holly, she’d be the one to point out a spooky house on the side of the road and force dan to stop the car so they can go inside and explore.