#THIS IS SO FUNNY HELPPPPPP

[skyward-floored]

My sister got a haircut yesterday and it struck me suddenly this morning that she now looks like Four. But redhead. What do I do with this information

[the-poly-cule]

tbh its super gross n fetishy for you to use a chinese name like that. i bet youre all racefaking rcta bitches

HELLO WHAHT. okay let me dissect this ask. chinese name? taobao is the name of a chinese FAST FASHION WEBSITE. SHOPPING. ITS SHOPPING. again, its like calling myself walmart. its the name of a SHOPPING WEBSITE. FAST FASHION. i thought u guys hated fast fashion?? and taobao translates to shopping baby. whhat r u on...

onto the racefaking rcta. WHAHT. HELLO. DO I NEED TO GIVE U MY CHINESE NAME??? WHAT DO I DO TO PROVE THAHT IM CHINENSE. both of my parents immigrated to the usa when they were like 8-12. my mother is taiwanese, my father from northern china. my last name is an incredibly, and i mean INCREDIBLY common chinese last name. i just ate congee along with tofu & century eggs, fish floss, salted duck eggs, fried eggs, and tuna. what else can i do to prove my heritage other than doxxing myself bro

whats ur ethnicity. i bet 2 dollars ur white. caucasion.

[greeds]

NOT VOLO GOUGING YOUR FUCKING EYE OUT

[critterishere]

I been going insane about a f🐉king cryptocoin for 3 days now….

this is really concerning

[aglaean]

“I see your charm did not protect you from falling early in battle,” Azama notes as he comes by to check on his totally-honest-to-gods-definitely-absolutely favourite student.

"... You did make one for yourself as well, did you not?"

What escapes next can only be described as a long-suffering sigh, though Azama masks it (perhaps poorly) with a look of incredibly deep concern™️.

“… Mayhap next year I shall have to bestow one of my own to you. 'Passing beautiful' though yours may have been," gods, he needs to hold it in, he can't break down so soon, "it means little if it doesn't work as intended, yes?"

Dread and horror have never been writ more strongly across the face of one so marvellous. ‘Hold! Do you suppose that, had I procured further tokens, I would not have been so rudely removed from the field?’ 

This was a disaster of the highest order! Once again, it seemed, L’Arachel’s unfailing generosity had proven too great, too perfect, for this cruel world. 

Of course, this was not to say that she was disappointed that her latent powers had been bestowed upon one so grateful. The defence of innocents was, undoubtedly, one of the many goals the Gods had predestined her for, after all.

But she rather wished she hadn’t been so blind to her own virtues, so negligent of the budding talent she evidently possessed! Had she made multiples of the charm, the very tide of battle could’ve been changed. 

Well, it was little worth lamenting what had been fated to be. She would simply have to be prepared for the next trial. 

At his offer, she smiles graciously. It would not do to enlighten him as to the fact that she was the one gifted with the talent in charm-making. His proferred charm, unimbued with whatever hidden powers of protection she possessed, would be taken with thankfulnesss!

L'Arachel resolve to arise early the next morning, dedicating herself to securing more candles, more threads, and eventually, more charms. 

[yugiohz]

seeing you talk about knb is reminding me of something so embarrassing. so back when i was 13 and only the 1st 2 seasons were out my favs were kuroko, kise and akashi in no particular order. but one day i went on the wiki page to look at kuroko trivia and it said he didn't like girls who cursed and i, girl who cursed a lot, got so offended i basically unfaved him on the spot. i demoted him so fast 😭😭

well this is a level of y/n behavior I never unlocked

[kieranculkingirl]

[mofledowe]

Just gonna leave this here

MOFLEDOWE!!!!! YOU'RE OFFICIALLY FAMOUS !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

did you..... come into MY HOUSE for an autograph orr...? (blinkblinkblink) btw mutchie-pootchie-poo, did you.................... (blinkblinbkkiblibnk) get my ask 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

[waitingforminjae]

pov u caught ur parents fighting

[yuumebow]

i tried making a hfjone x omori au a year ago .... i genuinely cant look at him

[moxie-girl]

Star Wars clone wars-era tumblr dashboard simulator! this meme format is so old sorryyyy

🌳 treehuggr Follow

hate hate HAAATE that holoblr is so core-centric and you’re expected to post in basic or people just comment asking you to translate. I should be able to post in shryiiwook.

⬜️ senatesux-deactivated00192…

Hey, your choice of Shyriiwook as an “exotic” language to post in ties inherently into old colonialist views on Wookies and I need you to be aware of that, if it wasn’t intentional. Many people on the holonet these days…

Read More

🌳 treehuggr Follow

hi! op here. I’m a wookie.

🪐 outer-rim-4lyfe Follow

HELPPPPPP

#core holoblr users stop assuming everyone is human challenge

36,923 notes

🛸 fuckthatoldman Follow

ok but whys grandmaster yoda kinda… 🥵🥵

🧑🏾‍🚀 sora-the-explora Follow

Everybody on here claiming to be attracted to GILFs is lying except for this guy

#everyone unfollow me i wanna be alone with them

6,969 notes

5️⃣ 55555555 Follow

some of the ppl posting on here against clone rights are so funny like do you have any idea how many clones are on holoblr?? have fun losing like all ur followers lmao

#what do u think we’re doing between deployments??? just standing around waiting to fight????? #clone rights #cloneblr

84,255 notes

🌃 coru-ssant Follow

I sure hope my pet piece of flimsi is doing well! good thing I left my apartment window open so he could get some fresh air while I was at work :)

🌃 coru-ssant Follow

by the stars this can’t be happening

3,206 notes

🧋 bubble-tea-bounty Follow

⚒ keldabekisses Follow

#anyways vote vanilla extract for mand’alor it’s what jaster would’ve wanted #mandalore #mando discourse #<- for those of u who have it filtered

17,384 notes

🦾 hero-with-many-fears Follow

anakin skywalker is 22??? he should be at da club….

2,836 notes

🌌 posts-from-a-darker-galaxy Follow

so was anyone gonna tell me they found out the chancellor is a sith or was I supposed to learn it from a CNL skit???

🌝 pizzathehutt Follow

posts that make you read op’s url

🚀 hyperdriven Follow

#op if you go asking at enough temples eventually a sith might answer

157,239 notes

[kappaology]

bringing my john ward keychain to campus or even setting my discord pfp as him is like a psychological horror bc the chances of my peers joking about me having priest merch/pfp are low but never zero

[thesingingrevolution]

every time i see her i think of this

[atsvmi]

i’m actually no longer human anymore. brain completely smooth like a chicken breast. now only aki.

[mxshmxsh]

Ninjago Groupchat

10:04 AM

Zane: Me, Lloyd, Nya, Cole, Master Wu, and Jay are going to go to the supermarket to shop for groceries. Please refrain from causing too much mayhem in the monastery, Kai.

11:07 AM

Kai: I gotchu bro

11:23 AM

Kai: I started a fire-

Nya: SHIT WE'RE COMING OVER RIGHT NOW-

Master Wu: Kai, I expected better from you. Please try to contain the fire.

Lloyd: WHY DOES THIS ALWAYS HAPPEN WHEN WE LEAVE YOU ALONE-

Cole: KAI IS SUCH A DUMB HOTHEAD-

Jay: HE'S MORE CHAOTIC THAN ME AT THIS POINT!!!!

Zane: ...

Kai: -by the fireplace to roast marshmallows!

Nya: ...

Lloyd: w h y

Jay: *confused noises*

Cole: save some 4 me :)

Master Wu: Good to know you haven't burnt down the monastery.

Zane: ...

Kai: yw

11:48 AM

Kai: I started another fire-

Nya: HOLY FSM STAY PUT I DON'T TRUST YOU TO PUT IT OUT-

Lloyd: GAAHHHHHHHHHHWBEFUGW

Cole: GOSH WE JUST REBUILT THIS MONASTERY!!!!!!

Jay: SEE I WAS RIGHT-

Master Wu: It seems that you were, Jay.

Zane: OH MY FUCKIN GAWD-

Cole: Did Zane just curse?

Nya: woah

Lloyd: damn

Jay: w h a t

Kai: -to boil some water!

Nya: I will boil you alive, Kai.

Lloyd: What's the point of this

Jay: kai is so dumb

Cole: for once i agree with jay

Zane: ...

Master Wu: What's wrong with Kai today?

12:05 AM

Kai: SHIT SHIT I STARTED A FIRE I NEED BACKUP HELP IM GONNA BURN DOWN THE MONASTERY ASDFDFDFDGG

Nya: Yeah bro i don't believe you

Lloyd: yeah your probably just boiling some water

Zane: Indeed

Master Wu: Indeed

Cole: yeah you dumb hothead you can't trick us today

Jay: yeah it ain't funny

Kai: NO SERIOUSLY THE CITY'S GONNA CATCH ON FIRE AT THIS POINT HELPPPPPP

Nya: yah mhm

Lloyd: right

Master Wu: sigh

Jay: yeah I totally believe you

Cole: clearly the city and monastery's gonna catch on fire bc your boiling water

Kai: *Confused angry noises*

12:34 AM

Nya: KAI WHY IS THE CITY ON FIRE?!?!?!

Jay: AND THE MONASTERY?!?!?!

Lloyd: WE'RE SUPPOSED TO PROTECT THE CITY AND MONASTERY NOT LIGHT THEM ON FIRE

Kai: not my fault

Cole: OH MY SHITTY GAWD

Master Wu: ...

Zane: ...

Jay: SEE I WAS RIGHT HE'S MORE CHAOTIC THAN ME!

Kai: cuz you guys ignored me when I said the city was on fire

Nya: AND I WONDER WHY WE DID?!?!?!????

Cole: I SURE WONDER

JAY: YOUR A DUMB HOTHEAD

Kai: sigh

Lloyd: AM HEADING OVER RIGHT NOW

Zane: Hopefully the city and monastery hasn't burned down yet.

Master Wu: Your grounded, Kai.

Kai: WHAT

Phew! Finally done. Thanks for sticking around :)

-mxshmxsh

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

Live-In

Masterlist

Warnings: noncon, housewife kink, fear, postpartum depression, abuse, scary Clark

Even though it’s a drabble, I do appreciate any comments and feedback you have. Thanks for reading!

👗👗👗

“She’s such a sweet baby,” Laney’s voice carries down the hall as you tenderly touch your cunt. Clark’s been waiting jist for this, plotting, you feel all the pent up tension in your muscles. “I think this is gonna work out well.”

“Yeah, I think so,” Clark answers, “you’re so good with her.”

“Mhmm,” she hums as you pull on your nightgown, the fabric tight across your stomach and tits. A fat cow. “I should probably get going. It’s late and she’s sleeping.”

“She likes you,” Clark ignores her, his tone even. You know that trick, deflecting but calm. The kind of response that makes you feel crazy to protest. “As you saw, my wife has been… having some troubles since the birth. It’s a big change.”

“I understand, but I hope I can help with that. She seems so nice, to, Mr. Kent,” she replies and you hear the shift of weight, padding footsteps, “excuse me, I’m just going to grab my bag–”

“Why?” He asks.

Silence, then her trilling laughter, “well, Mr. Kent, I gotta catch the bus and get home–”

“Home?” He repeats and gives a chuckle of his own, superior and taunting, “you’re already there.”

“I appreciate that, Mr. Kent but really, I should–”

“You can go if you can make me move…” his deep voice rolls like thunder and you freeze. Is he crazy?

You rush out into the hall. That poor girl must be terrified. Like you were. Like you still are.

“Oh, I told you, honey, that joke isn’t funny,” you come out with sickly tweet, “Laney, he’s just playing around–”

“You know I’m not,” Clark snarls, “go back to the room.”

“What–” Laney blinks and fumbles with her bag, plunging her hand into it, “I’m calling the— where’s my phone? Oh my god–”

“Now, don’t go making a scene. You’ll only waste your own energy.”

“Helpppppp!” She screams and at once Martha mimics her, awaking with a shrill shriek, “help–”

“Who’s going to hear you, sweetheart?” Clark grabs her by the throat and silences her, “it’s okay. We got a spare bed for you, right next to the nursery so you can check on the baby when she cries.”

“Clark,” you hurry forward as Laney sniffles and snorts, trying to breathe as she sobs, “please, let her go–”

You grab his arm and he easily flings you away. You hit the wall and slide down to your ass at the harsh impact that knocks the air from you. You cough as you look up at him, his eyes glowing red as her hand bounces helplessly off his bicep.

“Don’t hurt her,” you pull yourself to your knees and crawl towards him, “please, I’ll take care of the baby, please–”

“You’ll go back to the bed and wait for me,” he demands, “and she’ll go calm the baby. You will both do exactly what you’re supposed to.”

“Mr…” Laney gurgles, “Mr. Kent…” he lifts his chin as he looks at her, the veins in his face burning red beneath the flesh as his eyes glow, “let me get Martha, she’s upset.”

He shakes and slowly releases her. She gasps and sucks in air as she staggers back and touches her throat. She looks at you and you give a helpless frown, lowering your gaze guiltily. You can’t and won’t help her. You’re both trapped.

“Come on,” Clark approaches you and grips the back of your neck as he makes you stand, “I thought you knew better, honey, but you’re just the dumb girl you always were.”