#TL:DR it looks cool and it makes them look like a creature

[aeriona]

There is a question that's been on my head for a little while..

Does your xeno inklings only have rectangular pupils? Or does it variates with species?

But also, why is it recutangular? Considering most squids have round shaped pupils

A couple reasons, actually!

It definitely varies quite a lot, there's all sorts of different pupil and eye shapes not only dependent on species but on mutations too!

Here’s an example I threw together from a drawing I had on hand.

For most “typical” inkling species (common, flying, shortfin, firefly) the pupil is a roundish-oval shape or completely circular. But once you get to the reef, pygmy or bobtail squid species things start to get a little funky.

the “star-shaped” pupil is also a pretty common mutation, you tend to see it more in Myopsid squids (common, reef and pencil squids), but it’s not entirely impossible for others to have it. In a lot of places the shape is considered trendy as many idols have it.

Also keep in mind the pupil can dilate when it’s dark out, or as an aggressive display. Inklings actually have remarkable night vision!

The main reason I gave inklings horizontal pupils is mainly because I thought it looked cool lmao. horizontal pupils more effectively get across the "non-human" aspect of their appearance that I was looking for when I initially got into making xeno designs. I’ve been doing it for so long that round pupils in my art look odd to me haha.

[toxycodone]

i understand its all joaks and its lighthearted out of love for this character but it is a little sad to see things like laios being a minimum wage worker and having no friends being described as him being a loser when theyre extremely common autistic experiences 💔 because to be honest i think youre really cool and a great writer and i would like to interact more but it makes me go, is that what you would think of me? my life situation’s not too different from that. anyways i hope you have a nice day <3

no not at all I genuinely like being mean to Laios so take everything I say about him with the world's biggest effing grain of salt because I am just. mean to him in particular lol. i like to kick him when he's down. (evil and mean but to blonde men in particular)

but like. i am not cool at all. like...........ill put it under the cut but yeah.

real shit under the cut bc this ask is making me think! im gonna be real w u nonnie

tl:dr if u dont wanna see whats under the cut:

this ask kinda makes me think bc. i think im really mean to laios too bc he reminds me of myself beforehand (zero self confidence and suicidal idealization) sigh and I really hate being reminded of that. so. again. im really biased when it comes to him specifically and that doesn't apply to you or any of my followers.

and for what its worth i am sorry for making you feel that way.

but also. i gotta say I can 100% relate to him and you. this time last year I was working at Starbucks ( i could only tolerate 4 hour shifts bc i would get overstimulated and my coworkers lowkey hated me.) and had like. 1 friend from high school and the years before that I spent turbo online being constantly pushed out of friend groups bc i could NEVER get anything right socially. I swear the first 23 years of my life I never lived. i went thru hs and college as a fucking. like. creature I felt like i couldnt connect w anyone because I was too tormented by adhd + autism and i was INSANELY depressed and coping w lack of control by having an eating disorder and being doped the fuck up on stimulants. (MY PCP gave me 56 mg of concerta and 5mg booster of adderall i was fucking tweaking on the daily </3)

but like. i started going to therapy and a psychiatrist who made me quit cold turkey for my own good and we started treating my depression and debilitating anxiety (i was convinced a stranger was living in my house in secret but also that everyone in public who saw me was revolted by me and genuinely wanted me to kill myself jkdhsfskdjh i told you i was tweaking)

anyways. i was a druggie with no goal in life and living in my own head and now like. i can look at myself in the mirror and not think "hey. this fat ugly piece of shit should genuinely die" and now people in real life LIKE me. I have friends. multiple friend groups, actually. WITH NOT JUST ND PEOPLE. LIKE, A LOT OF THEM ARE NEUROTYPICAL. And i am very open about being autistic with them and i dont have to mask.

and they still like me! and invite me places! and genuinely want to hang out with me! and they think im smart and get uncomfortable when I say im stupid or too autistic to like. be able to be in public.

it still feels like a dream and in my mind im like "they actually are gonna drop you and make fun of you for thinking they were ever your friends" or like "theyre just doing this bc of the stupid buddy system shit or they think you're a pet this is highschool all over again"

but even tho im haunted by this. its....I can say with confidence its not true.

anyways. i know people say this shit all the time but I will say you are very capable of love and not a loser or anything like that. the thing you're missing out on is the right people. i didnt believe this for most of my life and tried to get myself killed because of it but im glad I didn't because it is genuinely true.

i have spent the last <1 year of my life genuinely being alive. and i wouldn't trade it for anything. idk if thats a sign for anyone yeah. take it

[fitheghosty]

YES YES YES KAS!EDDIE I AGREE SO HARD. THE VILLAIN MOMENTS?! EVERYTHING. THE HEARTBREAKING INTERACTIONS IT WOULD CAUSE?! YES. A KICK ASS TURN AROUND AND HAVING HIM BETRAY THE CRUSTY SPAGHETTI LOOKIN IDIOT THAT IS VECNA LIKE DND LORE (as far as I’ve been told granted)?!! HELL YEAHHH BABYYYYY

TL:DR- Kas!Eddie is a wonderful theory and I too am going crazy over it

SERIOUSLY THO IT WOULD BE SO SAD FOR DUSTIN AND ALL OF THEM BUT SO EXCITING FOR US

HA! YES! EDDIE BETRAYING VECNA RIGHT AT THE LAST MINUTE AMD EVERYONE'S SHOCKED CAUSE THEY HAVEN'T RECOGNIZED ANYTHING IN EDDIE UNTIL NOW

I also think it would be totally cool if eddie didn't even remember who he was, like all of the kas theory fics I've read they have him remembering himself but he's just different because of vecna. but I think it's interesting to play around with the idea that eddie actually believes he's kas cause of vecna and whatever he did to mix around eddie's mind

here's a little writing thing I wrote inspired by this idea ↓ >:)

(disclaimer: I got all of the D&D information from the internet lol I'm sorry if it's wrong)

------------------------------------------------------------

Dustin faltered seeing the creature infront of him, "Eddie..?"

Dustin was a little surprised that he had made that connection himself, he looked like Eddie but... wrong. His skin was almost, well, rotted. He had fucking wings, and his teeth were as sharp as knives. So were his eyes almost. They were baring into Dustin's soul, but still he knows those eyes anywhere. It's Eddie for sure. How? He doesn't know, but what he does know is that he shouldn't seem scared infront of him, he didn't ask for whatever this is.

"No." Eddie replies.

"No...?" Dustin repeats in confusion.

"That isn't my name." Eddie— not Eddie?— says coldly.

Had Dustin got it wrong? Was this one of Vecna's tricks? He was in the upside down.. it would be easier to get him here he supposes.

Eddie goes to speak again, coming out raspier than before which makes Dustin flinch, "I'm Kas."

Look, if there is one thing Dustin Henderson is, it's a nerd. And he knows that name, he knows it all too well. Kas the bloody handed is Vecna's right hand man in his favorite game, D&D. His eyes widen, looking down to see Eddie's (Kas's?) hand laying at his side, holding a sword. Not just any sword, the sword of Kas. Any dungeons and dragons lover can tell that it's his sword from a mile away.

What was happening...? The upside down had never tried to mimic D&D before, their party had just named all of the monsters after the characters so it wasn't confusing.

Why now..? Why this..? Why...Eddie? He died.

"Uh- I gotta go." Dustin said, scared. He needed to get back to the others.

Eddie grinned with giddy eyes, "You're not going anywhere."

Dustin didn't recognize him anymore.

[warcraftedtardis]

Yet another humans are space orcs post

Tactile sensation edition. (Long post)

So, first off, I’m not sure if anyone has covered the weirdness that is Touch as a core sensation for humans. Baring injury, disability, or paralysis/numbness, our ability to literally feel the world around us is a BIG energy sink in our brains. For example, just look at the Sensation-based proportion model of a human. It’s a weird gremlin looking thing with over accentuated hands and feet because they’re are just so many nerves and sensor in those places. But, more than just Touch, there’s also the imagination of Touch and how that affects how we perceive things.

Think about it for a second.We correlation sensation information along with emotional experiences. For example, a kind or open person is often described in writing as having a warm personality. The part of our brains devoted to physical sense has designated “Warm” as meaning “pleasant” or “comforting” or “soothing” on an emotional level as well as a physical one. The person being describe doesn’t have a personality that can be literally interacted with and deemed “warm” so the metaphor of physical sensation communicates an emotional response. In other words the connotation of a physical experience becomes an emotional one. How bizarre is that?

Another side of this sensation shortcut is in its effect on our values. Let me ask you a quick question: what does a tiger feel like? For most of us, we’ve never touched a tiger before much less seen one in person, but your had an answer of what you thought it felt like based on something you’ve experienced before. Now what about a frog? If you like frogs you probably thought something like “smooth” while if you’re not a fan of them you might have thought “slimy”

Why? 

Smooth is for most a positive sensation; a tactile stimulation that is pleasurable to experience in a range of states, but for something to be slimy is akin to it being a negative tactile sensation for most people. The way mucous or gunk sticks to and coats skin is not generally enjoyable and sets off the alarms for being dirty or gross. The association of a description can change the perspective of an object, person, place, creature, or idea. We use this in narrative medial all the goddamn time but I’m not sure we really think about it. And then, as it relates to our experience of the world, sensations we like as a species gain positive connotations while ones we dislike gain negative connotations. We are at a point where we can describe most of the world in touch-based sensations and be more or less understood without having to be detailed in our descriptions. 

We’ve even bred companion animals specifically because we like how they feel. Look me in the eyes and tell me a long, silky-furred Persian cat with it’s fucked up smushed face was designed to look that way because the destruction of its respiratory system was enjoyable. A few people found the smushed nose in combination with that amazing fur texture to be alluring and then kept making that combination of traits in cat breeds. Same thing with certain dog breeds. We’ve got them with coarse shorter fur that is smooth and warm when well kept and those with longer fur that’s more plush and you can run your fingers through. All those other animal posts that talk about how “every animal is dogs” because the instinct to pet the cute is too strong. We feel good so we touch. Sometimes we touch so that we can feel good. Sometimes certain Touch sensations are useful focusing tools or are repulsive deterrents that are just “nope” and these can vary from person to person. 

Here’s another example that wraps back into semantics: why are sexy things described as “hot”? What the absolute fuck does “that’s hot” mean in a literal context? Well, if you’ve ever had the adult fun times, or have gotten really into adult alone time, you know that you can work up a sweat, that the whole ordeal is literally hot. Temperatures from the experience literally became a phrase used to reference sexual preferences or erotic aesthetics (humorously used or not)

Now, some of you might be thinking “No duh, that’s just how language be” and others of you might be thinking that this isn’t that weird, but consider the fact that these sensations dicate emotional responses to our surroundings. If we encounter a race of inhuman aliens that felt nice to the touch we’d probably like them a lot more, even more so if our exposure to the positive tactile sensations led us to associate the aliens with those same positive traits or even encouraged us to see them as “cute” or “cool” because we all know hoe pack-bond prone humans are. 

For a pursuit predatory that hopped right out of the food chain on a deathworld, we sure do keep a lot of potentially dangerous stuff around us because “it feels good” and--perhaps most obviously--a good portion of our packbonding behaviors manifest in some form of physical contact be it pets or outright cuddling. 

TL:DR Humans are so devoted to Touch feelings that it impacts our mood, our language, and our emotional perception of reality; also we as a species are all snuggle packbonding weirdos that totally would pet aliens to determine if they were friendship material.

This post brought to you by a touch-starved disaster who is up too late and who pet cat is just....so soft you guy... it’s like chinchilla soft and silky smooth, omg she’s so cute gjdghgakjdgk

[biteghost]

How do you come up with so many cool characters?? All of your OCs seem so vibrant and fleshed out. Do you have a specific process for developing them, or do they just kinda come to you mostly formed? I find I struggle with building a compelling OCs for D&D games & would love to hear your thoughts on character development.

(This answer got long, sorry.) This is a super nice sentiment, I’m happy you think my characters are all cool and unique!!

As far as process goes, uh, it depends on the character? I’ve spent a long time (years) rewiring my brain when it comes to what I think about when creating OCs. They don’t usually come to me fully formed - I get an idea in my head about a concept, and then over like a week or even months of fiddling I end up with a character for that concept.

A lot of the time my characters are simply people I wanted to see more of in media as a kid! Mostly, female characters I actually relate to or are as nuanced and messy as their male cast members, haha... (It was a trip when I realized in high school that I didn’t hate female characters - it was actually that none of them were written as well as the cool boys in the anime series I liked, haha! Be the change you want to see in the world, basically.)

Inspiration for characters (and stories for them to be part of) come from a lot of places. An easy piece of advice is to make an effort to intake media you like! Read new comics, watch new movies and television shows, read books, play video games, listen to music and obsessively memorize the lyrics - hell, obsessively learn everything there is to know about black holes or public domain characters (that’s what I did, lol...)!

(Note: ’New’ meaning new to YOU - you don’t need to only be partaking of media that’s created in 2021 - you can find a lot to love in media that was created before your time, or for generations before you!)

I must reiterate: intake new media that you ENJOY! You don’t have to like all the same things as everyone else, you don’t have to be invested in the same shows and podcasts as your friends. Varied interests and taste is part of what makes us all unique! Increasing your pool of inspiration will help you come up with interesting ideas, and help you find YOUR voice. Your particular interests and the niche things that speak to you will help you figure out what kind of characters and what kind of stories you like to create! But the process doesn’t end at just intaking media... When you find the stuff that brings you joy, analyze what exactly it is about that thing that speaks to you... Put it into words. Explain it to a friend. Make it tangible, analyze the feelings and why the series made you feel that way... and then take it and shove it into your own stories, lol!

Engage critically and thoughtfully with work you like, with characters you like, and it will help you have the language and thought process to recreate it in your own work!

My creative process is like an exquisite corpse of all the characters and series I’ve liked over my lifetime. I mesh them all together in a grim blender and what comes out is a shake in the vague shape as an OC, lol

BUT... it seems like you’re asking more specifically about making characters for tabletop roleplaying games like D&D? And THAT is a different process for me than making OCs for my comics or original story ideas!

I don’t usually join a tabletop game with a fully fleshed out character, actually?? I don’t spend a long time on their backstory, and I usually figure it out like halfway through the story, or through collaboration with my game master!

My TTRPG characters are usually whatever I think would be most interesting in the given game setting or set-up and... usually they exist in opposition to whatever the core concept of the game is. So, the examples I have from games I’ve played are:

In Cardians: West (World of Darkness: Hunter the Vigil): we played in a modern-day urban fantasy setting, where players were recruited into a supernatural Hunter group that was also a criminal organization that Did Crimes and Broke The Law in the name of keeping peace and protecting humanity from the supernatural creatures that go bump in the night. I played Andrew, a Lawful Good Police Detective, because I thought playing a character who would need to grow past his original ideals of ‘Right and Wrong’ in the name of the greater good would be interesting! (And it was!)

In SINNING ADVENTURE (WoD: Geist: The Sin-Eaters) we payed in a modern-day urban fantasy setting with the premise that the players all Died and were brought back to life by forming a pact with a powerful spirit (and getting cool ghost powers in the process!) I played Cassius, a character who could not cope with his death, and thus refused to use his new powers because they were evidence that he was no longer strictly human. It caused conflict in the group and world, but I thought it would be interesting! (And it was! Cassius was a Bitch.)

In Rex Machina (Dungeons and Dragons 5E), I wanted to play an Aarakocra, but was having a hard time deciding on a class or backstory... until I found out that in the ‘canon’ of D&D Aarakocra only live to be like, mid 20s???? Their lifespans are insanely short compared to other playable races!! And I thought that was stupid, so I decided to make MY Aarakocra, Izzy, a warlock that’s looking for ways to extend his own stupidly short life. His pact essentially granted that to him, giving him extra time to find a way to achieve True Immortality. His conflict challenges what’s ‘true’ living in this world, and his extended life is in direct conflict with a lot of forces in the world we play in, and while it is very stressful I think it’s really interesting to play!

In Lamplighting (Monster of the Week), my character Aicen is an assassin who made a deal with a demon and gained supernatural perks out of it... except I decided that she doesn’t WANT to be in this deal. She is actively trying to undo it because it wasn’t her deal - she inherited it from a CEO that she killed during an unrelated job. (Aicen is probably my character I’ve put the most backstory into, and that’s just because at character creation in MOTW you are given a lot of questions about who your character is and why they’re where they are!)

In Hand of Adam (WoD: HtV), the concept was that all players were going to join a post-apocalyptic supernatural-hating cult. I played Shouter, who was a self-preserving pacifist coward who also turned out to be a fae (which the cult would have killed him over). It was stressful but very fun. I love Shouter. He ran away from fights and didn’t actually kill anyone until the last episode where they fought God (whom he killed, lol).

NOW. THESE ARE ALL JUST EXAMPLES OF HOW *I* LIKE TO PLAY CHARACTERS!! For me personally, I enjoy playing a character who has built-in conflict either with the world, the story, or the other players. I’m only able to play characters like this because my friend group are all really cool and we all know that conflict is not bad - it’s fiction and we’re just roleplaying! If I didn’t trust my GMs and fellow players as much as I do, I probably wouldn’t have felt comfortable enough playing some of these concepts.

I don’t think you need to know every little thing about a tabletop character, and in fact, not knowing some things and leaving it up to the GM and story to flesh out is an easy way to help you get more invested in both your character AND the story your GM is telling! Tabletops are a collaborative storytelling experience, so if you’ve already plotted out your character’s whole story, there won’t be much participation from other players or your GM. Figure out what your character wants, and let your roleplaying and GM slowly put all the other pieces in place over the course of your campaign!

But the TL:DR about how I make tabletop OCs is that I just... try to give them a goal, an ideal, or a personality that is in direct conflict with some aspect of the game we’re playing. I don’t want the character to be undermining the whole game, because that’s really crappy to do to your GM, but I have to have something for my character to grow through or change. I like giving them built-in character arc starters, lol. I haven’t played a game where my character has gotten along with every other player character and NPC over the entire campaign since my very FIRST game, lol!

Also, if you’re having trouble, why not ask your GM what they think? Again, tabletops are collaborative! Don’t be afraid to talk ideas out with your GM for your character.

A final note about playing in specifically oneshot games (i.e. games that are not long campaigns but are meant to be played in one or two sittings). Personally, I always just retrofit an OC I already have to play in oneshots! When I make a new character for a long campaign, it usually takes me two or three sessions to find their voice and figure out how to roleplay them. If the game you’re playing is only one session, I find it easier to jump right in and get the most out of your character and the game when you’re playing a character you already know pretty well! I’ve played characters from my webcomic quite a few times, and it’s always a lot more fun for me than figuring out a new character on the fly!

SO UH, IN CONCLUSION... sorry if this is mad unhelpfu!! My personal processes are unique to me! but that's the point - no one person will have the exact answer that works for you! You have to keep trying until you figure it out for yourself! Good luck! Keep creating! <3

[drops-of-moonlights]

The redesigned Magic Animals! Because I looked at their old designs and absolutely hated them so they getting redone. Also Roxy gets one now and Elas goes to Diaspro because Bloom already has Kiko! Info below on them, Magic Animals in general, and the reworked concept of Wild Magic. (In order - Amarok, Squonk, Critty, Shiny, Flitter, Elas, Kiko and Galila)

Wild magic is, very bluntly, magic gone wild. It's natural ambient magic that has been negatively affected in some form or another, which stays in the area and starts to mutate and change the place. Previously crystal clear waters can become a toxic swamp, healthy trees can rot yet keep growing in an instant, animals might be harshly mutated. Those affected can suffer from various illnesses and while it's not normally fatal, chronic conditions might develop thanks to exposure.

However, wild magic is also what gave birth to the many Magic Animals on the system, creatures that managed to take in the magic and adapt to it rather than succumb to it, changing their form and gaining new abilities to survive in the conditions.

Wild magic seems to also fade away on its own after a certain amount of time, and while the changes to an area might downscale or dissapear completely, animals and people affected by it remain changed unless outside magic is applied to combat the effects. This is partially the reason for Silvestrix existing, as its immune to the effects of Wild magic and can counter and erase it almost perfectly.

TL:DR it's basically like radiation but slightly less murdery.

Onto each animal!

Amarok, the Moss Magiwolf: Amarok has been with Flora since she was a kid. Her parents run a Magiwolf sanctuary, and Amarok was brought in as a puppy. He was supposed to be released back into the wild, he came back after a few hours. They tried to make him leave again, but he simply stood there, tail wagging, before nuzzling Flora’s dad. Right then, Amarok became the “dog” of the family. They have a license to handle wild Magic Animals, and since Amarok still counts as one despite being somewhat domesticated, they were able to keep him. He’s a very loyal and goofy pet, and loves Flora and Miele very much.Lynphean Moss Magiwolves have a top layer of fur that covers their head and back that has a texture similar to moss, even being able to grow flowers on it - it helps them to keep cool in Lynphea's hot humid summers and they use it to mark their territory, as some tree moss is just the fur of a Magiwolf being fused with the bark. They’re omnivorous, like regular wolves.

Squonk, the Seafaring Gryphon: Squonk approached the Winx very hurt during a short travel to the Andros mountains, having been attacked by Kalshara who’s trying to hunt him. The girls defend him, and after being protected from an attack by Aisha, he helps the girls fight off Kalshara albeit clumsily. The girls try to find its parents, as it’s just a baby, but not finding them Aisha decides to just adopt him and learn about him so she can help him grow well. He’s very shy and gets scared very easily, but can and will harm anyone that he distrusts that approaches Aisha. Seafaring Gryphons are common in the Andrian cliffs, their eldest diving for fish to bring to their young. They also hunt small rodents, and seem to have traits of falcons rather than eagles, like other gryphon species.

Critty, the Melodian Quillcat: Critty was actually being hunted by Kalshara and Brafilius, in Musa’s hometown. She managed to escape thanks to Musa, however, and after she’s rescued fully, she seems very attached to her, even if she’s still hostile to the other girls… and everyone else. Quillcats are wild cats whose neck and tail fur managed to harden into sharp points, similar to hedgehogs and porcupines, with the added bonus that they seem to secrete a poison that acts as a paralizer, with Melodian Quillcats in particular seemingly creating some sort of “vibration” with them when scared or angry. They seem to be evolved from mountain cats, and have a similar diet.

Shiny, the Solarian Lumibird: Shiny appeared to the Winx during their attempts at rescuing Critty, and guided Stella (who had gotten separated) to a secret passageway, him also having been kidnapped by the siblings and wanting some sort of revenge. Shiny likes Stella a lot, as well as Squonk, but seems lukewarm to the other girls and animals. Lumibirds seem to be evolved from birds of paradise, mixing traits from the astrapia and parotia species. They are incredibly fast, looking almost like a shooting star at night thanks to their slight bioluminiscence, and their predisposition is basically like australian magpies. Diet is mostly plants as well as bugs, and in the case of Solarian Lumibirds, rocks.

Flitter, the Storm Fox: Flitter is one of the bats and foxes that maintain the inner heat and currents of the capital of Zenith’s main computer. After heavy malfunctioning, the girls access the core, and with Tecna and Flitter joining magic, they manage to restore the place. Flitter ends up close to Tecna, and seeing that the core can work without her, she leaves and joins the Winx. Electrobats and their big cousins, Storm Foxes, are known for their ability to store electricity in their fur and wings, usually using them for their prey or to attract mates via clever uses of the stored static. They are used in Zenith since ancient times as chargers for the older machinery, and are treated very well in exchange. Their diet consists of mainly fruit. (Yes I changed Flitter from squirrel to flying fox it’s my AU I can do what I want and what I want is for Tecna to have a giant fucking bat with her)

Elas, the Qilin-Unicorn Hybrid: Elas is the second-last animal the girls acquire, having been cursed under a rage spell and causing mayhem in the Domino/Quarzis border. Diaspro manages to calm him down enough for Roxy and Flora to lift the curse, and he becomes attached to her as a result. He seems very prideful much like Diaspro, and likes to antagonize Kiko. He is an unicorn-qilin hybrid, taking most of his physiology after Unicorns (just one horn, mostly horse-like, long mane) but with Qilin details (the gems in his forehead and chest, the scales covering most of his torso and head, his horn not being straight, his long tail). His diet is mostly plants and bugs, but can also eat small rodents thanks to his Qilin side and likes to bully Kiko saying he can eat him in one gulp.

Kiko, the Moth Rabbit: Kiko becomes friends with Bloom all the way back in S1, having been rescued by her in the Blackmud Swamp. He follows the girls to Alfea, and after a three-day battle with the girl’s dorm manager, Kiko starts living with them. He’s capable of slightly broken speech, and seems to also be able to understand talking plants. He’s very attached to Bloom and can be a jealous little flying fuzzball. He's a moth rabbit, very obviously a rabbit with moth wings. They're also nicknamed "fairy/witch rabbits" based off their wing design and coloration. They are herbivorous, and seem to prefer the fruit from very high trees. They also seem to be able to help with pollinization, and are native to Magix. They can fold their wings and seem to be able to lay on them without much issue if folded.

Galila, the Two-tailed Golden Ferret: Galila is part of the first proper magic animals that seems to have appeared on Earth after the revival of magic, and as such Roxy's very interested in her in both an investigative way and just her natural love of animals. Galila is very shy and withdrawn like Squonk, but seems to light up around Roxy and Musa and is very playful with them, sparking a bit of jealousy from Critty. Two-tailed golden ferrets don't deviate much from regular ferrets outside of the tail, but they do seem to have a knack for burrowing and seem to be able to generate sand as a distraction tactic.

As an aside, Amarok, Squonk, Shiny, Kiko and Elas are male while Critty, Flitter and Galila are female.

[secret-engima]

SE Random Writing Rambles: Thoughts on Realism and Internal Consistency

Okay but here’s a random thing that I’ve been thinking about that I ... feel doesn’t get talked about ... enough?

And that’s the fact that when people talk about world-building, I think there tends to be, dare I say it, TOO MUCH focus on “realism”.

And yes I am definitely putting myself in the “people” category in the above sentence, which is actually why I decided to come over here and ramble about this. Because I’m trying to world-build something rn and legit had myself almost in tears on whether something was “realistic” enough only to realize.

I was world-building a fantasy thing.

That has never, can never, and will never exist in the real world. Period.

So WHY WAS I SO UPSET OVER BEING REALISTIC??

And yes, realism IS a good thing, but I think there’s a line between fantasy realism and just plain overthinking stuff probably because we’re all on some level trying to mimic world-building fanatic Tolkien and while may that man be forever blessed for his contributions to writing and fantasy he seriously set the bar way too high for some of us mere mortals. Like- how do I put this.

In your world-building, you can do literally whatever the freak you want.

Lemme repeat that.

In your world-building, you can do literally whatever the freak you want.

You want telepathic dragons? Put in telepathic dragons. You want talking swords? Put in your talking swords. You want *shudders internally* sparkly vampires? Be ready to deal with the instinctive anti-Twilight backlash but put in your freaking sparkly vampires.

The only caveat to this, the only “rule” I could really find after thinking long and hard about all the really good fantasy and sci-fi books I’ve read, is that you have to be internally consistent. If you make a Thing in the world-building, the next Thing cannot blatantly go against that rule, unless there are exceptions already in place for the first Thing. Like say, a fantasy world where No One Can Use Fire Magic. Okay, cool, that’s a Thing. So don’t make your main character a person who uses fire magic. Now, if the above Thing was instead No One Can Use Fire Magic Unless They Have Dragon Blood In Their Ancestry then BOOM you have a perfect excuse for why your main character can use fire magic and no one else can, because they have dragon blood in their ancestry and the other characters do not.

There are so, so many amazing fantasy books out there, especially ... older-ish ones that aren’t very “realistic” at all but are enjoyable and MAKE SENSE because they adhere to their own internal logic. Like the Wizard of Oz series. I read I think literally every single book except for one (which was not by the original author but instead by the author that got permission to write in that world) and while the Wizard of Oz books are kinda NUTS, especially by today’s “Fantasy Realism” standards, I was never confused by the world-building. Ever. The stuff that happens in the books is crazy and very, very “unrealistic” (see: a tin man, a patchwork girl, the living sawhorse who was deaf until someone carved him ears, and the regions being divided by color down to the color of the grass being blue or whatever depending on region) but WITHIN the stories, all those things make sense. They are, as best as I can remember, INTERNALLY CONSISTENT and THAT is what makes them “good” fantasy and “interesting” world-building.

This applies to other books too, in anything from world structure to naming.

The Redwall series by Brian Jaques is interesting because you can actually see the internal consistency evolve over time. In the earliest books there were horses, in the later books there are not. Size gets adjusted a bi for the creatures and some things quietly fall out of favor while others get set in stone, but overall it still remains internally consistent and the later books are ironclad in their internal logic.

To call out naming stuff, I see a lot of focus on “proper naming” when I dare wander onto writing advice boards that all say you need like- fantasy languages and things that sound fantasy and if that’s your jam then cool but if not-.

In Wings of Fire, which is a successful Publisher Approved book series (and really good read) all of the dragon tribes are named Something-WING.

The dragons. Who have wings.

Are named Something-Wing.

Not “Scark-tkletca” or some fancy dragon version of latin or whatever. Just- SandWing. SeaWing. NightWing. Etc etc. It’s simple, it MAKES SENSE in the story. But that’s like naming people who live in Canada “Snowshoe Feet” and people who live on the warm coasts of the Bahama’s “Sandal Feet”. But because ALL the dragon tribes are named like that, because all of them have consistent naming themes in tribe, kingdom, and individual, you don’t really notice how silly those things would be if translated back to the “real world”. It’s internally consistent, so it gets a free pass. It’s got “realism”.

As long as stuff is internally consistent and follows it’s own logic, then you can get away with a LOT as a fantasy and sci-fi writer. Faster Than Light travel is impossible (so far anyway) but Sci-Fi uses it all the time. It’s practically part of the internal consistency of the genre at this point, so no one bats an eye when yet another Sci-Fi book flies in the face of REALITY realism and happily chugs along with it’s SCI-FI realism.

I could go on but this ramble is getting long enough I think SO-

TL:DR When people talk about Realism in fantasy and sci-fi genres (especially Fantasy!) all they’re really talking about is basically just Internal Consistency. Set down a rule and then follow it to the natural conclusion. Add an exception to the rule itself if you need one but don’t just fly in the face of the rule without a good INTERNAL reason for it instead of just “but it looks cool”. Yes, yes it probably does, but does it make sense for the “rules of cool” already in place in your world? Pull from real life as much as you want, especially in things like *shudders* economics but like-

Your world.

Your story.

Do. What. You. Want.

And as long as what you want doesn’t conflict or break it’s own logic then Go For It.

[gryphonablaze]

hello and welcome to gryphon’s crackshit crossover corner

I’ve already talked about my theory that httyd is set in the very distant, post-apocalyptic future. that theory was originally inspired by ‘what if httyd and horizon zero dawn crossover?’ My brain said things and for some fuckforsaken reason I listened. 

TL:DR I can smash together a crossover of so many different fandoms and media. It’s stupid. I’m crazy. I love it. This is what ADHD makes me think about when I zone out 

Anyway, first thing; the portal games could cross over with virtually anything. Portal-lands (borderlands). Portal age of wonderbeasts. How to Portal Your Dragon. Portal and the Princesses of Power. Portal: Zero Dawn. Portalverwatch. Portales of Arcadia. Fuck, if I really wanted, I could make the portal series crossover with Star Wars. This is because the time gap between portal one and two is spectacularly, deliciously difficult to pinpoint. If I shuffle it around, I could align the times during which action and dramatic events occur to line up with Chell finally escaping the facility. She walks through the wheat field and immediately encounters a megabunny, or a herd of grazers and striders. Or she trips on a rusted null sector carcass. Or her first night on the surface she’s staring at the moon and the star-filled sky, until she hears a slowly mounting screech and a flash of lightning. Or after a couple days she encounters a migration of creatures with stone skin, because they’re going to New Jersey and wanted to stop in Michigan to visit the great lakes, I guess. Or a couple weeks in to her new life, there’s a bright flash in the sky, and now she’s glowing? And has weird glowing tattoos on her arm? And can set things on fire? Or a year or two after she escapes, a spaceship? touches down? and out comes a catgirl, a lady with prehensile hair, a weird tall white guy, but not, like, a typical white guy, his skin is literally snow white, and someone who appears to be (???) normally human????? With portal, anything is possible. Bonus points that technically any and all fanfiction, AUs, the like etc. of portal are canon, thanks to cave literally reaching through the multiverse, thereby making all of those alternative realities possible. 

So if I wanted, I could stick portal in anything. Like how salt can be used in virtually every cuisine. 

But oh, my dear brain did not stop there. This is a crackshit crossover corner, after all.  If I fuck around enough, I could frankenstein together almost all of these. The events in HZD take place approximately one thousand years after the apocalypse, which occurred mid-2000s. As in 2050s-60s, not 2005. Kipo Age of Wonderbeasts takes place about 200 years after their mutepocalypse (also it took me an embarrassingly long time to realize that ‘mute’ was shortened from ‘mutants’ and has nothing to do with their ability to speak), and we’re not sure when that happened. We could hazard a guess that Gaia was able to rebuild the world and some of humanity after Faro’s fuckup, but maybe went a liiiiiiiittle too far with the Artemis sub-probgram, and the mutepocalypse happens almost immediately. Oopsies. World goes on for 200 years post mutepocalypse, events of the series of Kipo Age of Wonderbeasts occur. Anknown amount of years later Hades decide’s that’s enough and wipes Gaia’s slate clean for her to start over again. She gives it another shot, but this time limits the amount of historical information that she gave to the humans that she released. Might’ve been a bit inaccurate, because do you know just how much human media insisted that vikings had horned helmets? (Could also explain why somehow Tuffnut knows some spanish). Whatever. This time she tries dragons. Things are actually going pretty well for a couple hundred years, Gaia always thought the ancient mythological tales of winged fire-breathers were cool, why not try it out? Until--are you kidding? The dragons disappear to hide underground? From the humans? Seriously? Wow. Wooooow. All that effort, wasted. Hades decides it’s time to try again. This time? Screw it. Robot megafauna. Hades can’t eat that. Around half a millenia later, Hades gains sentience, goes about trying to commit genocide, events of the HZD game occur. For fanfic funsies, Chell could wake up literally any time in there, because why not add another layer? These all coexist in the same space-time. Same universe, same timeline, but unfortunately not at the same time. Oof. -----> This crackshit combines Horizon Zero Dawn, Kipo Age of Wonderbeasts, and How to Train Your Dragon. (*portal optional)

Or how about somehow, some way, the whole prehistoric ‘peopling of the earth’ (deadass the name of a textbook chapter) was more like accidental colonization of the earth? The rest of the six galaxies moved on and kind of forgot about them, so Borderlands doesn’t necessarily have to be in the distant future of earth’s timeline. Some millenia ago, the Destroyer was going around, doing its thing. The Eridians didn’t like that, so they found a planet with natural capabilities they could take advantage of, asked some sirens for help, and turned it into a superweapon. After all, as typhon says, most Eridian things run on crystals. And sirens’ powers are often elemental--who’s to say the runestones on Etheria aren’t their collaborative work? Along the way they probably make an enemy because of course they do, so why not give the Heart a test run @ Horde Prime? Until Mara rebels, and yeets Etheria and its moons (and presumably star) into Despondos. Well, fuck. Horde Prime mentions ‘one thousand years’ of waiting, but when traveling through space, time can get fucky. Anyway, Now they have to come up with an alternative way to eliminate the Destroyer. It might take a few millenia of hopping around, leaving their mark on various planets, but eventually they come up with the idea of creating a cage, creating pandora... After all, the architecture of the First One’s ruins in SPOP and the various Eridian Ruins in the borderlands series aren’t super different. It’s reasonably possible that their stylistic design choices changed over time--whose hasn’t? Gothic architecture wasn’t hanging around from the dawn of human time. Anyway, we know that since they began building Pandora, the Eridians knew what it would entail. So when Nyriad killed them to power the Machine in the Pyre of the Stars, it’s not like they hadn’t prepared to die. The guardians, their own creations, have heath bars made entirely of shields, implying that they are beings not of flesh but of energy. And who wouldn’t want to at least attempt to preserve their culture, at least a shred of it? Many statues that are presumably in the Eridian’s likeness have only two arms, but some have more. And what energy-based lifeforms (from tales of arcadia) have a majority population with two arms, but a select special few with four? What is their planet called? AkiRIDIAN 5. It is implied that not even Nekrotafeyo, the Eridian’s home planet, is technically the place of their origination, so it’s not all that out of the question for them to make (and possibly fail at) a couple of planets they could put their extra-sentient lifeforms on. ‘Alright, We are called Eridians. This is the fifth planet we made for you. Have fun, we have to go die.’ How often is history not warped by time? Particularly the pronunciation of things? And of course if they’re starting over with a completely new place and no template to work off of, the architecture they come up with is not at al likely to resemble that of their progenitors. Also note that Luug and other Akiridian creatures seen, like those weird ass energy bugs, look fucking weird. You know what else looks fucking weird? The fauna of Nekrotafeyo. In this version, Mara’s story in She-Ra and the Princesses of Power is the very distant early history of the Eridians, before even Nyriad, who is presumed to be very long-lived. The ancient history that the Eridians themselves left behind is in turn the prehistory of the people of Akiridian 5. And again, if u want, portal. That said, the end of SPOP S5, the end of BL3 (currently the latest borderlands game), and the end of the Tales of Arcadia series could not only exist in the same spacetime, but also at the same time. ---->This crackshit combines She ra, Borderlands, and Tales of Arcadia. (*portal optional)

[phoenixroha]

I’m curious about how many races/clans of elves there are within Xadia and who their leaders might be so I’m going to try breaking down how many there are simply based on the flashback sequence and the brief mentions sprinkled throughout TDP.

Warning: Spoilers

Right! So, off the bat in EP1 we are presented with these four bad-asses. Let’s look at them from left to right:

The first woman is likely a Sunfire elf (first mentioned in EP1 at 11:53). From the very brief details gathered in the show, these elves draw their powers from the sun and are exceptional blacksmiths. This point is also backed by the blade used in EP7 by the border soldier who uses a Sunforge blade to defeat his opponent; according to Rayla, Sunfire elves are able to imbue magic into their weapons, allowing them to cut through anything (except, of course, the binding cloth).

Based on the crown I’d suggest she’s most likely the leader of the Sunfire elves, or at the very least a high ranking general; moreover I believe the staff she wields hints to the fact that she is a Fire Mage.

Next is the ethereal looking elf. Based on the insignia on his chest, I’d say his clan relates to the primordial power of stars. (Personally, I think they’ll be called Starlight or Starshine elves, but that’s just me.) This may be a bit of a reach, but I believe that these elves are excellent navigators. I’m making this point solely on the fact that in the flashback when revealing the divided kingdom, (most likely) his hands are the ones unfurling the map. It would also make sense, considering that sailors would use constellations and specific stars to find their way.

I’ll skip over the next guy simply because he appears to be another Sunfire elf (likely a commander like Gren to General Amaya) and move onto the last major character in this frame: the Moonshadow elf.

It’s safe to say we know the most about these elves. Moonshadow elves are at the height of their power during full moons; moon magic not only enhances their physical strength and senses, it allows them to turn themselves completely invisible.

Although their prowess as assassins is certainly explored in the first part of TDP, I’m more interested in the character introduced in the last episode of season 1, Lujanne the Moon Mage. Because of this, I can safely say that Moonshade elves are most known for their life like illusions and tricks.

Edit: Runaan also created the illusion of trees to disguise his group when the Katolis soldiers came to their hidden camp.

In this next image, there are mostly Sunfire and Moonshade elves but there is one new elf. The most distinct thing about this elf is the fact that, unlike all the other races of elves in the show, he has wings. I’m willing to bet that he is related to the primal power Sky. Unfortunately, he is the only one we are able to see up close but by now I think it is safe to assume that there is a race of elves to correspond to each of the six main elements. (No idea what to call them until a canon name is given. Any suggestions?)

But I do think it is interesting to note the glowing staffs. The Sunfire elf gave the staff she was holding to another elf and a Moonshadow elf is holding one in the shape of a crescent moon. I theorize that each element has (at least) one staff which signifies that the wielder is a High Mage like Lord Viren.

In this last image I just wanted to point out the elf in purple riding the white and black creature (I don’t actually know what their called; anyone know?) is probably another Starlight Elf, purely based on the fact that as far as we’ve seen they’re the only ones who use the colour purple. It also leads me to the question, “Why did the other star elf literally look like stars?” For now, I’ve got no idea.

In general, I believe elves have a much longer life expectancy than humans. In EP7 (6:39), Rayla briefly mentions humans’ “sub-century life expectancy” inferring that they must live significantly longer than humans. They are also born with interesting markings on their bodies which can also be used to determine which clan they hail from. I also believe that, because of the primal magic sources theme, there are at least two other elf clans that haven’t been revealed: the ocean and earth elves.

Maybe there’s even one more race - a secret one related to the dark magic element? Or maybe that’s just humans.

tl:dr - I think there’s an elf race for every magic element, they’re old, and that they have cool tattoos.

[pleasedontfreak-blog1]

≾◄►≿ On the Subject of the Sins

The Sins have existed for as long as humans have. They are no more inherently evil or good than you or I. As a matter of fact, this particular iteration of the seven deadly Sins treat their... well, sins as their responsibility and do they’re best to keep humans from overindulging. 

It’s Azzy who whispers in your ear that maybe you shouldn’t go home with this stranger for a one night stand or that, hey, maybe it would be safer to use protection. Remember that sex is neither as good or as bad as anyone tries to tell you it is, virginity is just a construct and sex should always be you and your partner’s continuous and enthusiastically consented-to choice. 

Bebe reminds you to treat yourself and also to practice moderation. She reminds you that not everyone can afford to eat so while this treat is wonderful and savorous and you should absolutely eat, she reminds you to be grateful for what you have because there are people who don’t have anything to eat. 

Belle gently whispers to you in the morning that your classes are important. She tells you to get up and face the day as best you can because your bed will still be here tonight. She reminds you that your depression and your sadness don’t necessarily know what’s best for you and apathy won’t protect you in the long run.

Levi pushes you to be your best self. Don’t compare yourself to others, improve. Be better and talented and special in your own way because otherwise you will drive yourself crazy. He wants you to look in the mirror and find what’s uniquely you and fall in love with it. 

Lucy demands you learn to treat yourself better. She demands that you demand to be treated better. She wants you to find beauty in every flaw and blemish on your body and she wants you to know without a doubt that you are amazing. 

Manni reminds you to save up your money. Live frugally and treat yourself and give to good causes because money is just an item with a purpose, like batteries for a smoke detector. If you don’t put the batteries in the smoke detector they don’t work, if you don’t pass your money along, the economy can’t work and that’s not cool. 

Stan tries to get you to evaluate your anger. Is it necessary? Is it fair? He urges you to be kind because anger is a slippery slope. 

To be fair, the sins are still morally gray. They are a smidge self centered with their desire to keep their sin contained. Too much and they become unstable, violent, and destructive to themselves and those around them. And beyond that, they can’t eliminate themselves from the world. It isn’t possible for living creatures not to have these impulses so perhaps this perspective makes them feel a little guilty and responsible when they let people get out of hand. 

So, Tl:dr - The Sins think humans are neat! They want to keep balance because it makes them feel better, figuratively and literally but also, they kind of have to or else their eternal existence becomes a swirling torrent of pain and misery. They’re super nice tho and they operate on the idea of “It is okay to indulge or to make mistakes. You can always do better.” It’s the Virtues who are assholes that operate by using “Shame” as a teaching tool. 

[smallhatlogan]

do you have any theories about what pandora was like before it became populated by humans/taken over by corporations/etc.? i think all the giant skeletons scattered throughout the world and dried up areas that were once oceans are super cool but we don't have much info on pandora's history which makes me :/

Oh boy, I actually think about this all the time? I love natural history topics and speculating about the Eridians.

(I accidentally wrote a small essay and I’m putting it under a cut and I didn’t edit at all so hopefully this is remotely readable) 

Okay so Sanctuary has apparently been in the ground for a few centuries so people have apparently been on Pandora for quite some time? Pandora has some wacky shit going on with seasons and rapidly changing environments, which would explain a lot of those giant skeletons. Places like Oasis seem to have only dried up a relatively short period ago (Judging by the Pierfest signs it’s probably been less than a hundred years? It seems implied that it was surrounded by ocean only few years ago, but it also could have been dry for much longer and they just had another water source that gave out?), and the Southern Shelf is confirmed to have frozen less than 5 earth years before BL2. 

I think it’s pretty likely that over the course of Pandora seasons (idk if it’s still canon but I think in the first game it was said that a Pandoran year lasts 10 Earth years?) the environment just rapidly changes and this is the main cause of the death for these giant fish, skags, and lizard-looking things. 

That said, I feel like those giant skeletons are pretty old partially because that supports my “Decomposition is broken on Pandora” theory (I know a lot of video games tend to just occasionally just ignore logical decomposition, but Borderlands does it SO MUCH and to such a extreme degree? Plus I think it makes for interesting world-building if on Pandora the organisms that facilitate faster decomposition don’t survive well or the eridium in the atmosphere acts as a preservative, and bodies instead are mainly broken down by larger scavengers. I hold this theory so close to my heart). 

Maybe they age from a time similar to back when earth had dinosaurs? Like the biggest modern skags we see are skagzilla and Dukino’s mom and they’re still smaller than some of these skags. Or maybe even now there’s just occasionally Skags that big, and they just grown indefinitely provided they have enough food. There’s probably still some massive fucking fish in Pandora’s oceans because I think the ocean needs to be at least 10 times scarier than the land as a rule.

But yeah I guess that’s what I’ve got for the environmental side of things. 

Eridian side, though, oh boy.

Eridians were so stupidly technologically advanced that they very well could have created the entire damned planet and bio-engineered all the life on it (perhaps experimentally, to play god for the fun of it, or maybe the life itself acts as some kind of power source?). Which makes sense, for one, the inside of Elpis is pretty chock full of Eridian stuff, maybe it wasn’t built in there, but instead built along with the rest of Elpis? And secondly why the heck else would there be so much goddamn Eridium- their power source- in Pandora? I honestly don’t think eridium is naturally occurring. An idea that also lends itself to the idea that the Eridians were SUPER FUCKED UP? 

 Okay like we’re really not given a lot to go off of regarding their society or pretty much, anything about them? So I’m using literary parallels to come up with my own, possibly completely wild theories. 

By literary parallels, I mean that racist piece of shit, HP Lovecraft (who, admittedly, has a lot to draw on when it comes to sci fi, and tbh it’s always nice to see his works taken and reshaped into something better, with messages he would have hated):

-Ancient advanced alien race. Mysteriously wiped out without a trace (except maybe not) (also I did not mean for that to rhyme)

-Eridium drives people insane. IMO I don’t think this is mental illness or from damage to the brain (partially wishful thinking because, obviously, making the mentally ill folk the ones running around with buzzaxes screaming about murder and attacking people is just bad). I think there’s something sinister behind eridium. Those voices you hear when Krieg goes into Release the Beast might not all be from his brain? Maybe Eridium has a life of its own? Maybe this is some “soylent green is people” shit except with eridians?

-Eridians were very clearly warlike. Most of what remains of their civilization besides the ruins are weapons. Either they fought among themselves or against another alien species? If the latter, they really obliterated them to the point we have no evidence of them, (but tbh it seems fitting). It seems to me they were conquerers, and the now human-inhabited planets were once their empire.

-Also okay the Destroyer just looks like a lot of depictions of Yog-Sothoth

-They seem to have been religious? All of their ruins resemble temples or shrines. Heck, there’s even an element of blood sacrifice, considering the Vault in Badass Crater?

-This isn’t necessarily canon, but I think it’s an interesting thing to consider: In the Tannis comic she mentions they had some real fucked up math system where they could “count in six directions” and stuff. And they’re language has no word for “year” or “time”. 

-Heck, Tannis, the one who knows the most about this stuff, is also insane. That’s pretty thematically in-line with Lovecraft. 

There’s two of Lovecraft’s creations that I feel like it’s easy to draw parallels to with the Eridians? 

-Elder Things: Alien creatures who resided on earth long before humans. They were ridiculously technologically advanced, warred against other aliens, and capable of creating other lifeforms via bioengineering. One such lifeform was the Shoggoth, an originally nonsentient creature intended to serve the Elder Things. Over time this creature evolved and rebelled against their former masters, playing a huge role in their extinction. The Eridians also could have easily been wiped out by their own creations, whether the Guardians, or a Vault monster? 

-The Great Race of Yith: Also extremely technologically advanced alien creatures that inhabited earth a longass time ago. These guys are continuously traveling through time via swapping their consciousnesses with beings from other time periods, in an effort to escape their doom. Now, I don’t think the Eridians had that ability (though hey, maybe they did and instead of the Guardians only being creations they were formerly host to Eridian minds? They’re so goddamned mysterious I’m willing to entertain anything), but it seems entirely possible (Maybe even probable, considering The Watcher’s warnings) that they’re capable of time travel and could have not gone extinct at all, just fled through time. Maybe the human race is finally catching up to their point of re-entry into the time stream, or they’re about to encounter whatever it was the Eridians were fleeing. 

Heck maybe the Eridians themselves are what the Watcher is warning them about, and the Watcher is betraying their own race (or maybe they’re not actually an Eridian at all, and maybe everything we think we know about how they look is wrong. Like I said, we super don’t have a lot of concrete information and also I love to speculate on everything). 

Actually, I could probably write an entire other list of theories based on greek mythology parallels. I won’t but the name “Eridian” presumably comes from I won’t, but I’ll mention the name “Eridian” presumably comes from “Eris” (fittingly, what with all the bloodshed surrounding the Vaults). 

TL:DR I feel like the Eridians were probably super bad dudes and/or pulled an Icarus and wiped themselves out with their own creations. They also probably have some sinister Eldritch god shit going on. 

They may have built Pandora and Elpis, partially just as a place to keep their superweapons? 

[spartytoon]

In which Sparty finally jots down her thoughts on Avengers: Endgame.  Spoiler free TL:DR: I liked it overall, but have some caveats.  Long read, spoilers below.

ENDGAME THOUGHTS

THE GOOD:

Well used fandom in-jokes. E.G. Cap checking out his own ass (“That IS Americas ass”).

Scott Lang in general.

Tony Stark being adorable with his daughter.

Cap using Mjolnir.

Thor’s reaction to Cap using Mjolnir (“I KNEW IT!”)

Rocket Raccoon in general.

Nebula in general.

Thor having a good talk with his mom.

Frigga immediately recognizing Thor as a time traveler.

When everybody showed up for the final battle.

Banner sharing his tacos with Scott.

2012!Loki being a lil’ shit.

2012!Thor using Mjolnir as a defibrillator.

“Lunch, then back to Asgard.”

2014!Gamora: That’s the guy?

Nebula: Yes. It was either him, or a tree.

I’ve been saying for a year that Guardians 3 and Thor 4 could be the same movie, and that looks like it is very much happening. Awwww yiss.

THE BAD: Oh boy. I’m going to keep this to continuity in-universe rules type stuff because that’s where the objective issues are.

It has been long established that one must be obscenely powerful to so much as TOUCH an infinity stone (except for the reality stone (it touches yooooouuuu), and the soul stone probably has some unique rules), much less USE one, but the Avengers were all barehanding the damn things without any issues.

Power levels are meaningless. I knew they were going to nerf their really powerful characters (Carol, Thor and Wanda), but I did not expect them to do it to this extent.

- Carol shows up for the final battle, destroys Thanos’ ship BY HERSELF, but is unable to blow 2014!Thanos to smithereens. SURE.

- It was established in Infinity War that Wanda could hold off Thanos with five stones in the gauntlet, yet she could not obliterate 2014!Thanos with no gauntlet. SUUUURE.

- Also in Infinity War it was shown that with the aid of Stormbreaker (which enhances his powers) Thor could stand toe to toe with Thanos with ALL the infinity stones, but he couldn’t beat 2014!Thanos. SUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURE.

- At the end of the day, the final outcome of Iron Man sacrificing himself to save everyone was very, very contrived. Nerfing their really powerful characters was literally the only way to make that happen. Hell, 2014!Thanos without the gauntlet should have been manageable for Thor, Cap and Iron Man. There was really no reason they couldn’t take him down now that they were actually working as a team.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not unhappy with Iron Man sacrificing himself (very bittersweet), I just wish they’d had a more coherent way to get to that point. Like, maybe instead of Thanos coming down to draw them out personally, he sends his army down so that everyone has to fight their way to him, and Iron Man is the only one who manages to get close enough to do anything. We know the suit is strong/advanced enough to fight Thanos, but maybe not defeat him. And if he gets ahold of the gauntlet, well you know how that ends.

Moving on! They went on a long tirade about the rules of time travel, then proceeded to screw up the space time continuum anyway, and spark off several alternate realities (they did announce a “what ifs” series for Disney+ so that’s probably deliberately sloppy *eye roll*).  The Sorcerer Supreme is probably Disappointed, But Not Surprised.

Speaking of, they created a glaring plot hole. Thanos allegedly destroyed the infinity stones after he was done using them. But when they went back in time to collect the stones from the past, the Sorcerer Supreme explained to Banner that reality itself was based around those stones, removing one could potentially cause all sorts of chaos, not just alternate timelines.

But Thanos DESTROYED the stones. Destroyed them. The Sorcerer Supereme apparently knew this, and didn’t seem phased by the news. Possibly because A, she knows something we don’t, or B, they already forgot why they had the Avengers go back in time in the first place. Sloppy, sloppy, sloppy. Personally, I don’t think the stones can actually be destroyed. It was likely that when Thanos “destroyed” the stones he actually just scattered them again, he just didn’t know it. So he wasn’t lying, he was just ignorant. If THAT’s the case, the Sorcerer Supreme not being worried about the stones being destroyed would make sense, because she probably knew the stones COULDN’T be destroyed, but finding them again could take eons, so she did ultimately go along with the Avengers time heist.

Endgame ultimately had a lot of the same problems as The Last Jedi: in an effort to be unpredictable, shocking and have things Not Go As Planned, they had to ignore the internal logic of the universe to varying degrees. You can’t spend 20 movies establishing how a universe works only to throw all the rules away as soon as it becomes inconvenient. You can certainly change things up, but there has to be a reason for it. And that reason has to make sense. None of this made sense. That’s sloppy writing at best, and an insult at worst.

THE WTF:

Sacrificing Natasha was sadly par for the course. I had hoped that by sacrificing herself there would be some sort of loophole wherein she wasn’t killed/sucked into the soul stone, buuuuut nope. I’m guessing the “sacrifice something you love” thing is probably a big fat lie, because Natasha and Clint were fighting over who got to be sacrificed, and Clint clearly didn’t WANT to sacrifice Natasha and… it just makes no sense. The Soul stone has a price. That price is a soul. Whoever’s left standing (or dangling near) the top of the cliff gets the stone. No emotional attachment necessary.

As a friend pointed out… ANT MAN DIDN’T HAVE ANY ANTS! He should have done the time heist with ants. It would have gone much smoother. Also he could have summoned hordes of ants to attack 2014!Thanos, which would have been horrifying, but a perfect “Welcome to Earth” moment. And hell, who knows how a titan reacts to ant bites. Might be deathly allergic, for all we know.

Aside from Nebula, Natasha, and arguably Carol, all of the female superhero’s basically just had cameos. I know they had a lot of characters to juggle, but their final battle stuff was another contrived moment.

Where did Brunhilde (Valkyrie) get her Pegasus? Are they summoning creatures? Is there a dimension somewhere where they hang out? How did they have time to go there and get a pegasus that was conveniently battle trained and ready? Are they sentient?

What was Spider-man swinging on? There was barely anything for him to swing on.  Yet, there was swinging.

Why didn’t Thor use his lightning more? We know he can use it. He knows he can use it. He can use it with pinpoint accuracy so it isn’t like it was a huge liability in a crowded battlefield. But he barely used it. Cap used it more than he did, and Cap was just winging it. And it was effective against Thanos so like… why didn’t they double team lightning bros… oh right. That would have worked. NERFED SO HARD. WTF was up with Clint? Was he going after people who were still causing problems after the snap? What was he doing? Why was Nat just okay with him throwing a homicidal temper tantrum? Professor Hulk in the uncanny valley. I’m with Valkyrie, one or the other. Both is weird. THOR:

I know a lot of people felt that what they did to Thor was one big fat joke. I have to respectfully disagree, insomuch that not taking care of yourself when you fall into a deep depression is A Thing. It’s a sad thing. And the humor of the situation was –  for me – part Thor saying or doing something genuinely funny, and partly just plain awkward. Like laughing at Peter B. Parker crying in the shower in Spider-man: Into the Spider-Verse. It’s funny because it’s sad.  We laugh because we don’t know what else to do. I’ll circle back around to Peter B. Parker in a minute. I would like to point out that Thor crashing, and crashing hard actually makes a lot of sense. It’s one of the few parts of the movie that DOES make sense. Consider Infinity War.

Thanos’ timing was probably deliberate. Was he thinking emotional devastation when he attacked the Statesman? Maybe. He was certainly thinking tactical advantage. Any emotional fallout was probably just a bonus. Finish off your biggest threat (what’s left of Asgard – I’m of the mind that Thanos was waiting around for Odin to croak), take out the most powerful player among them while he’s at a huge disadvantage (probably not a good idea to use your cool lightning powers on a big ship full of sensitive electronics), and as a bonus, emotionally break said powerful player at the same time. I don’t know if Thanos expected Thor to survive, but he wasn’t terribly surprised to see him at the end of Infinity War. Asgardians are notoriously durable, after all. And Thor especially so.

So, then what happens with Thor? Well he’s rescued, and he does everything he can to stay positive. He cracks jokes, he sympathies with Gamora, he’s a cheerleader for Etiri, and he does it all while he’s dying inside. He uses humor to keep himself together, but it’s clear he’s hurting BAD. He’s been in charge for maybe a couple of days and already ANOTHER huge disaster has befallen his people, and it’s only going to get worse if he doesn’t get his ass out there to put a stop to it. When Thor confronts Thanos in Wakanda, he initially does the right thing. The head is a much harder target to hit from a distance, so aiming for his chest was actually smart. He stopped Thanos in his tracks, brought him to his knees with that blow.

His real mistake was stopping to chat. I remember sitting in the theater watching Infinity War when Thor lands and does NOT immediately proceed to finish Thanos off. I believe my thoughts were “No - Thor… Thor, sweetie, just finish him off don’t stop to – aw shit.”

That mistake, that moment of weakness wherein he let his anger, and pain take over his better judgment is what cost half the universe. And he knows it. He knows it more than anyone else. He knows how powerful he is, he knows what he’s capable of. Everyone in Wakanda gave it their all. Tony, Spidey, Strange and the Guardians came close too, and Quill definitely fucked up there as well, but none of them are 1500 year old gods. They don’t have lightning running through their veins, they can’t fight for days on end without rest, they aren’t one man armies, they weren’t raised to be king and protector of the 9 realms, they didn’t have that burden placed on their shoulders. They aren’t anywhere near Thor’s level. They’re mortal. They make mistakes. They lose. Thor is far from perfect, but with the power he possess, the stakes are higher, there’s much more expected of him. And he fucked it up.

That’s not something someone simply recovers from. Not without help. And this is where there’s a big difference between Peter B. Parker and Thor becomes clear (well, aside from scale). Peter B. Parker is going through a rough patch. He’s gained a bit of weight. It is (gently) played for laughs.  But he has support. All of the other spider-people are there for him. Miles does a great job of getting him to wake up, to realize he’s gotta face his fears, and take that leap of faith. Thor, apparently, didn’t get that. Not until the time heist and he gets to talk to his mom.

As a proud member of #TeamThorNeedsAHug, I must ask… where were the rest of the Avengers? Too busy to check in on Thor? Or did they only contact him if they needed him for something? Did they brush him off, and assume he’d get better on his own? Were they so wrapped up in their own pain they just couldn’t reach out to anyone else? Cap had support group, did he not invite Thor? Or did he expect Thor to host support groups as well?

All they know is that they failed. But they’re not thinking about it from Thor’s context, they’re thinking about it from a human context. The human context is limited, fleeting.

So, Thor falls by the wayside. Any cries for help are brushed off. They get annoyed with him. They certainly got annoyed with him in Endgame. They stop keeping in touch with him.

The Avengers are pretty shitty friends.

This is why I am glad Thor is going off with the Guardians of the Galaxy for a while. The Guardians are weird, and they yell at each other a lot, and they fight, but at the end of the day, they’re a family.  Thor is in far better company. Also it will be HILARIOUS.

That said: THINGS I WANT TO HAPPEN IN GUARDIANS 3 (in no particular order):

Quill spends a little time on Earth and reconnects with his grandpa.

The Guardians work their magic and help Thor work through his depression and guilt.

A meta conversation pondering the power disparity between 5 years ago/current Thanos, and 2014 Thanos, and why Thor, Carol and Wanda (or Thor, Cap and Tony, for that matter) could not smush him like a bug while he was Infinity Gauntlet-less.

They discover that the infinity stones can’t actually be destroyed, Thanos just scattered them when he thought he had destroyed them, and there may be a way to get Gamora out of the soul stone.

They get Gamora out of the soul stone.

Mark Hamill is Space Hobo Supreme*

Thor becomes a Space Hobo and learns the ways of the Space Hobo from Mark Hamill

Thor goes sifting through Quills music collection at some point and asks if he has any Florence + The Machine.

We find out Rocket invited Thor to tag along with the Guardians figuring he needed a stable family environment, and time away from everything to recover.

Rocket is highly protective and supportive of Thor (much to Quills chagrin).

Awkward Drax Hugs (That Thor is totally down for)

Groot and Thor play video games.

Thor zaps himself back to being ripped for the sole purpose of annoying Quill.

Dance off.

Mantis does something really freaking cool.

Air guitar battle (because Guitar Hero exists, Thor plays video games now, and why the fuck not)

Nebula continues to soften up.

They bump into Loki in the least likely of places. A laundromat or something equally mundane.

* Back around the time The Last Jedi came out, Mark Hamill was joking around on Twitter (as he often does), that he was out of work, and needed a new job. James Gunn (possibly jokingly, possibly seriously) mentioned possibly having something for him to do in Guardians 3. This apparently, led into brunch, and a lot of unrelated silliness (Guardians of the 99!). I very much hope that Mark Hamill will be in Guardians 3 as a friendly Space Hobo.