#Tagged as weeks that make you glad you had a fic buffer

[fountainpenguin]

"You can play it sensible... a king of conventional..."

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New Origin of the Pixies chapter today!

Chapter 41 - “King Unconventional”

Read on FFN || Read on AO3

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The Head Pixie doesn't like reviewing certain moments of his past. This special chapter is told in Sanderson POV! It recounts his experiences growing up in Pixie Village, learning to preen, and going to school with Idona. Enjoy!

On FFN, this chapter puts the story over 600,000 words! Wowza!

(First 1,000 words of this chapter under the cut)

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King Unconventional

It's Sanderson

Yo, it's your Sand Man. H.P. asked me to write a chapter for his book today. I'm not 100 up on what was drafted so far, but I get that the gist of it has been Pixie history up until my first break-up with Idona. H.P. said he'll pick up the story with stuff that came after I got my adult wings. That leaves this mega gap of 130k years for me to cover in brief. I've been asked to describe what growing up in Pixie Village was like during this period, sort of glance at the nests and the honeycombs, and give my perspective on the experience of developing into an adult pixie body (since I took more specific notes on that than H.P. did when he was my age). So, strap down and let's work with this, boys.

Back in my early 30,000s, Pixie World was not what it is today. We called it Pixie Village (Sprigganhame on paper) and it was a full-on hive estate. H.P.'s caisleán stood in the center almost exactly where Inkblot City's square and Pixies Incorporated stand today. His office had a glass door to the outside so we could go and look at him if we wanted, and sometimes Rice (who usually lay on the cushion by his desk) would come out to romp around. He spent a lot of time watching Keefe. Emery had her own room too in the early years, until her courtship with Ranen turned serious and she took a new place in Faeheim not far from ASPRA headquarters. If I remember right, she ran the Boudacian godparenting branch until after the war, when Needlebark stepped down from supervising the angels.

Being the young pixies we were, the caisleán was the sun of our solar system. It was there we could visit H.P. and show him our accomplishments of the day, or sometimes wiggle a story out of Emery. We could feed and pet Rice, who was always very patient and let us dress him up in suits if we wanted to. He had nice things to say about all of us, even though looking back on it I'm not sure why he bothered. I guess he said them because they were true. In the caisleán we could take baths instead of showers in our tháir, and we could all gather on the couch for presents and fat meals every Season Turn. Everything was bigger in the caisleán, and it smelled more strongly of H.P. than it did anywhere else. That's where we felt at home.

Circling the caisleán were the tháircha, or drone cabins. In a traditional hive estate design, there only would've been one such cabin and three or four drones would have resided there, each with a bedroom and personal office space to call his own. However, it became necessary for Pixies to organize differently. During the early years we had eight tháircha in the village, each with a single kitchen, living area, and washing room on the lower floor that housemates shared. Up the stairs was the loft where we kept our beds. There were twelve of us to a tháir because H.P. said a dozen was a perfect number, and we didn't question it because our social instincts agreed.

My bed was in the best corner, next to Hawkins who had the window spot. I liked my place because it was near the grayfish tank and bookshelf, and I was closer to Wilcox than to Caudwell who always stayed up late and Bayard who used his wand as a nightlight. As we grew and there started to be more of us, we drones made it tradition to wrestle every Naming Day. The winner got to pick the bed they wanted that year. Hawkins and I always won, but I always beat Hawkins. I was the biggest and the strongest back then. Pixie drones still wrestle at the start of every new year to this day, though we don't trade bedspaces anymore. Switching delivery addresses would be additional paperwork we wouldn't get paid for. Instead, we use it to decide who has to be designated pinger at parties, or at least pay for the cost of going out. If you rank high enough and stay consistent, you'll never have to be the sober loser at all.

We do a lot of wrestling. We're a lekking species, so when we hit the sugar bars in groups, we play for damsels' entertainment. Now that we're adults and my position as chéad grá - alpha drone - is undeniable, the others mostly let me win. I don't see the appeal of flirting, but I like that I always get first dibs. There's something powerful about crouching over one of your co-workers at a party, all the while checking over your shoulder at the damsel who's had our mutual attention all night, straining to see if she was watching our match. They usually watch. I've never actually kissed anyone except Idona, but I like the conversations. I try not to talk too much when I'm out on the job with H.P., so times he isn't around work best for meeting my social needs.

Though, H.P. at a party is unique, to say the least. It doesn't impress anyone if he beats one of us in a fight, and most Fairies back away from his pheromones, so he heads out in disguise when he's in a particularly itchy mood. With sticky-lenses instead of glasses and a scarf around his neck, he's not so easily recognizable. Some of my coworkers don't even know he's circling a party unless they happen to recognize the limp in my leg as I follow incognito from a respectful distance.

H.P. firmly believes mates are unnecessary and swore off physical pairing after Iris, but every few Fairy Reunions when he finds someone his age he recognizes, sometimes he wants to steal a kiss. It used to embarrass him to have me around those nights, but I think he's realized now he's too advanced in age to flip his brain in the sharing magic mood without someone to compete against. It gets you on, you know? Makes you put in the blood and sweat. He challenges me to drinking contests most nights like that, swearing he'll up my next bonus with every glass I down after six. And he buys the drinks, so it's always a win-win for me. Like I said, entertaining.

[Cnt'd on FFN / AO3 - links at top]

[seijorhi]

asks :))

you guys make me laugh, i love it

RHI!!!!!! Fracture?!? It was just absolutely incredible. How can you just fuck up my week with that masterpiece. I loved how you paced this, how they were supporting each other at the beginning and osamu just got creepy and boom it just turned into THaT at the end. But I mean, older osamu with his biceps and broad shoulders... sign me the fuck up!

Did atsumu have a feeling this was going to happen? He was being weird at the outing. And I’m curious as to how osamu fell for reader? Ugh so many questions but it’s actually low key gross how everything you write is just perfect. Are you human rhi?

Take all my hugs and kisses you talented beautiful human being❤️❤️❤️- @shadowkunoichi

oh kay! first of all let me say that older dilf osamu has not left my mind in days, i want him to plow me into next week on the nearest flat surface i love him. 

as far atsumu goes, he’s a little sus about the whole thing to begin with. of course he trusts his brother, but he can’t say he doesn’t find it weird that samu asked you to come stay with him, and then insisted on bringing you out for drinks with all of them. he knows osamu ain’t a bleeding heart, he’s not doing it out of kindness, but at the same time he doesn’t want to consider the possibility that there’s some other ulterior motive there.

oh, but he sees more than he lets on, and samu unfortunately knows it.

anyway TY BBY!!!!!

the angst in fracture rhi! why do you do this to us😭 i have to know- did osamu ever love reader's sister? if not, why did he marry her? he seemed angry at her- did he kill her? when did get obsessed with reader? this is going to haunt me for like a month, you always know how to get me overthinking -🍰

cake my love! 

yeah, samu loved her in the beginning, loved her enough to convince himself he wanted to spend the rest of his life with her, but it takes him a little while to realise that what he actually wants is something (someone) different.

and it’s like he says to the reader, her sister wanted her to come back as a buffer between her and osamu, because things always flowed easier when she was around. there’s a reason for that, and it was because osamu found it easier to pretend when the one he actually wanted was nearby. but yeah anyway osamu definitely snapped and killed her.

Rhi why do you always put angst in there. I don't even have I sister and I felt like I betrayed her. Also did Osamu kill homegirl or did she genuinely slip in the bathtub??? - @ks350 

no, he grabbed her by the neck and slammed her face first into the edge because he straight up snapped :)) it’s kind of subtly hinted at with the line ‘But you know I’d never hurt my pretty girl’ when he’s talking about what happened. as in, yes i got pissed and i hurt her, but you know i’d never do anything like that to you.

also i’d say i’m sorry about the angst but i’m really not. it’s all about the emotional pain, i thrive on it fhjekfhjkdls

I read your Osamu fic and WOWIE!! So so so good. I have to ask...was he actually cheating on the sister with anyone else? Or was he “loyal” waiting for MC 😭 and did Atsumu or any of the guys know about Osamu’s lil obsession? Sorry last question was Osamu jerking off on the phone with MC when he called her LMAO that’s immediately what i thought i’m sorry i hate my mind

ahh thank you! but no, osamu wasn’t cheating in the traditional sense, but by that point he wasn’t in love with her sister anymore, the only reason he was still with her is because he knew it was the only thing keeping the reader close, if that makes sense? he loves one woman, and it sure as fuck ain’t her sister.

and atsumu had an inkling, not that he ever actually acknowledge it - the others guys just found it a bit awkward that he’d brought his dead wife’s sister to drinks. though, one or two of them definitely notice the odd way osamu’s acting, but hey, grief affects people in different ways, right?

and no, he wasn’t jerking off fghdjkslfhjdk. 

Omg you absolute beautiful angel- fracture KILLED me in the best way possible! What a beautiful mix of angst with yandere goodness. Bless your writing skills. Honestly you are beyond talented. Every piece you write I’m in like total awe! I hope my questions don’t sound dumb, my English isn’t my first language so sometimes I miss like subtle hints. So has osamu been in love with his wife’s sister the whole time? Is that why she thought he cheated? Or was the obsession formed afterwards? 💕🥺 - @sheepishdove - it won’t let me tag you :((

no, your questions aren’t dumb at all – the fic is super vague on purpose so you can kind of read into it how you like. having said that, i kind of think that he’s been in love with the reader for a long time, pretty much from the start of his relationship with her sister. it wasn’t intentional, and i think he took a while to figure it out; he knew he was happy when he was with her and her sister, and misattributed that happiness to the way he felt about her sister – it’s only once she distances herself from him that he realises what’s missing and why he’s not as happy when it’s just the two of them.

because it’s not that usual yandere, heart eyes, pounding heart, obsessive love that sinks its teeth into your skin and won’t let go. it’s more comfortable, easy, like meeting somebody who just clicks with you, who’s almost perfect for you without even trying, and falling for them a little more every day. of course, while it starts out that way it quickly spirals – once he admits it to himself there’s no point denying it, no point pretending anymore. 

she thought he was cheating because he stopped putting in effort, stays back late at work, spends more time with tsumu and his friends and less with her - he knew he didn’t love her and osamu’s never been one to waste time and energy on something that’s not gonna benefit him in the long run. 

I just finished reading Fracture and Oh My Goodness, I am mind blown by your writing every single time

It was so amazing, and the way you set everything up was brilliant 😱💞

Osamu gave me chills, he was written so well

And the brief hint as to what happened between him and the readers sister made the ending so much better

I do have to ask, from the way they reacted to Osamu and the reader, did Atsumu and the others know about what Osamu did, or did they know that he secretly wanted the reader for a while??

Once again, your writing is so amazing

Whenever you post, my serotonin levels sky rocket 😊💞💞💞 - @shiggysimp16 - tumblr’s being a lil bitch and won’t let me tag you properly :(( 

aw, thank you bby!! like i said they’re all a little bit suspicious and weirded out by the entire thing, but none of them (except maybe atsumu) knows how deep it actually goes. i’m glad you liked it tho!!

[clevercatchphrase]

Just some numbers and figures~

So! I finished my fan fiction, You Monster, this week, and it took me exactly 3 and a half years to write/edit/publish. This post at the time of writing, however, is being written a few days before the final chapter goes up, just examining  some numbers and trends around the wordcount and posting rate of my fan fic, because i’m obsessed with numbers and such, and i’m just trying to chew up time and keep myself occupied before the last chapter goes public. There’s literally no point to this post other than to marvel at how long this story is and how long it took me to get it out there, and reflect on what happened to me in The Real World during that time. Care to join me?

In Microsoft Word, this entire story is 609 pages and 209,235 words. The word count is slightly higher on AO3 (which I consider the definitive draft), partly because AO3 counts formatting tags as words for some reason, and because if I make little adjustments to the story, I’ll do it on AO3, but not on the original word file (or corresponding tumblr post for that matter) because I can’t be bothered to. 

According to AO3, I started this fic on January 3rd, 2016, smack dab in the middle of my winter break in my last year of college. I probably started writing it a few days before, maybe in december. I’m not really sure, but I’m kinda surprised I started it so early in the year, especially since I was writing by the seat of my pants for the first 14 chapters or so.

The following pictures highlight what days/months chapters were posted, according to AO3 (I personally think there might be a discrepancy or two due to timezones)

Chapter-wise, the first third of this story (Chapters 1 through 12) was written and posted in 2 months, and TWO THIRDS of the entire story (Chapters 1 through 25 (rounding up)) were written in the first YEAR.

Wordcount-wise, HALF the story (roughly 100k words) was written in one year.

There was a dramatic drop in productivity at the middle/end of 2016 due to Real World Stress, mostly me graduating & getting a job, the presidential elections, and learning a family member was starting to have kidney failure.

God, 2017 was a bad year for me, productivity-wise. In early June I lost said family member due to their kidney failure, and was completely unmotivated to work on You Monster for the rest of the year. I remember forcing myself to write for NaNoWriMo that year, and it helped snap me out of my funk, but I didn’t like how the writing came out and kept pushing off revising and editing the drafts for several weeks. I also remember getting really sick on christmas eve/day with a terrible flu, which made me unable to post the next chapter until January.

I actually felt a lot better mentally and emotionally in 2018. I WOULD have written more in early 2018, but that was also when the Hiveswap Comic Contest started, and lasted for 3 straight months with me doing nothing more than drawing comics for 12 consecutive weeks. Then, after that was over, I started thinking/planning more seriously about writing ANOTHER story, which later became Ghost Switch, and I offically started that halfway through 2018. I originally thought about making Ghost Switch a written work, but it was basically going to be another re-telling of Undertale, which was what I was doing with You Monster anyway, and I didn’t want to write all of that out again, so I decided to make it a comic instead. It was a great decision for me art-wise, because now I’m improving my art skills through weekly comic pages, but it was also a terrible decision art-wise because now I GOTTA KEEP DRAWING POSES AND BACKGROUNDS AND DRAWING PEOPLE IS HARD. 

Back to the point- I forced myself to write this fic again for NaNoWriMo that year, and was terribly upset that I still didn’t finish. But this time, I forced myself to revise and edit my writing until it became something I could tolerate, and posted the next chapter in January (again, but this time because my writing needed far more revisions than last year’s nano draft) 

Getting back into revising and editing DID seriously help me get back in the groove of Wanting To Write, but it was a little trickier now that I was also drawing a comic, and it was hard to manage my time between the two, because when I write, I do it for great stretches at a time. I mean, like, 4 or 5 hours straight of writing. Same goes for comic making, too. sketching the pages can take me two hours, and cleaning/inking/coloring them can take me anywhere from 4 to 6 hours.

Hm. If I included the other fics I wrote during this time, I get the feeling these calendars would look a lot more active and colorful. Maybe i’ll do that for myself later, so I can see how much I posted in 3 years.

This year, I was absolutely determined to finish this story, even if it killed me. I was still struggling to manage my time between writing and art, mostly dedicating a few weeks to make a buffer of comic pages so I could have a couple of weeks dedicated to writing. It was time consuming, and I felt bad when I worked on one but not the other, but I finally got my breakthrough in May, when I had to take multiple trips to an automotive shop for several different car repairs. Instead of just leaving my car there and going home, I brought my writing spirals with me and just wrote and wrote and didn’t stop writing while I waited in their loby. I finally finished the rough drafts of my story after being stuck for 4 hours in a Pepboys, and spent two more full days typing it out. Then, I rested for a week, and spent 3 more revising and editing the remaining bits. I was hoping to get the whole thing done and posted before July ended, but that did not end up being the case. For me, when we finally get to August, we have entered “the end of the year”. Ah, well. Even though I didn’t get the story completely posted before August, I can still take pride in knowing I finished it before the year was half way over~!

NOW FOR SOME NUMBERS!

I personally divide this story into 5 arcs, Ruins, Snowdin, Waterfall, Hotland, and New Home And Beyond (Which is basically anything that can happen after you unlock the true lab in-game)

Ruins

The Ruins arc I consider everything in chapters 1 thorugh 12. It is simultainiously the longest arc (chapter-wise, with 12 chapters which as mentioned earlier, is 1/3rd of the story) and also the shortest arc, only taking up 24k words (Which is an 8th of the entire story, or roughly 12.5%).It was also the quickest writen arc, as it was primarily prologue/first act material. Pretty much all of it was written in that first January. It’s 80 pages long, or 13% of all pages

Snowdin

The snowdin arc (chapters 13 to 22) is just under 25% of the entire story, coming in at 49 thousand words (on the nose!) It is the second longest arc in both word count and in number of Chapters (10, to be exact~) It took me roughly 4.5 months to write this arc. We also spend the most physical in-story time in Snowdin. Almost 3 full days, which is half of the story’s timeline (not counting the 7-8 years in the Ruins. That was all set-up) It’s 172 pages long, or 28% of all pages.

Waterfall

The Waterfall arc (Chapters 23 to 28) is the longest arc wordcount-wise, making up another 25% of the story, coming in at 53.6 thousand words, and dead center when it comes to the number of chapters it makes up (which is 6). Looking at this now, litterally half this story takes place in Snowdin and Waterfall. Roughly one full day is spent in waterfall, from noon of the first day, to roughly late morning of the second. This arc took me 11 months to write/post, and if you read the notes for these corrisponding chapters, you can tell I was not having a good time during it. It’s 178 pages long, or 29% of all pages.

Hotland

The Hotland arc, (chapters 29 to 32) Is the shortest arc chapter-wise, with only 4 (10% of all chapters), and second shortest arc wordcount-wise, coming in at 36 thousand words, or about 18% of the story. It’s also the shortest in-story arc time-wise, seeing as you only spend about half a day here. I did not like writing the hotland arc! Mostly in part because Hotland is my least favorite region in the game. Chapter 32 is probably my least favorite out of all of what I’ve written. It was difficult figuring out what to do with Alphys and Mettaton, seeing as their interactions with you in game heavily focus on you and your human-ness. I am quite glad that each chapter was pretty neatly divided by in-game floors. It was a good way to know where a chapter could end and when I could give the characters some breathing room. It took me over a year to complete the Hotland arc, and most of that time was because I didn’t want to revise and edit what I wrote. It’s 123 pages long, or 20% of all pages.

New Home and Beyond

I don’t consider the True Lab part of Hotland because of in-game story reasons. You can’t access it until you’ve gone to New Home at least once, and once you enter it, you cant leave until you finish it, which, again, takes you to new home. Honestly, once you get to the true lab, you’ve won the game. There is no way to ruin your pacifist playthrough once you get to the lab, and while the amalgamates may kill you, you can’t “lose” once you get this far. That’s why I consider Chapter 33 the start of the New Home arc even though in my story we haven’t seen new home yet (mostly because there are no saves or resets in this story, so we kinda couldn’t have gone there first).

The New Home arc is the second shortest chapter-wise, making up the last 5 chapters (13% of all of them), and is dead-center when it comes to word count, finishing with 46.5 thousand words, or roughly the last 25%. I was actually really excited to write everything from chapter 34 to 36 after having been fantisizing about it in my head for the last two years. I gotta be honest, the end of chapter 37 gave me some trouble. I was still making edits up to a few days before it went public, but I think I got the feelings I wanted across~ It’s 161 pages long, or 26% of all pages.

Extra???

I started keeping a word file for bits of dialogue and scenes that I originally wrote in my spiral, but ultimately cut for one reason or another. Mostly these are just sentences and snippets that sounded redundant, ooc, or were just an alternate dialouge I decided not to use. I didn’t start doing this until chapter 28, according to my files, but according to the masterfile, there were 6.4 thousand words I ended up not using. 

There are, in fact, several bullet points I had originally planned and ended up not using, such as Sans ASKING Undyne to keep an eye on the kid while they were in waterfall, which sounded hypocritical after I wrote him coming to peace with them, as well as having Asgore tuoring the Underground that week, and thus Sans, Papyrus, Undyne and Alphys having to hide Frisk from him once they become friends. (the painkillers Alphys also gave frisk were actually supposed to induce drowsiness in Frisk, making them fall asleep so Alphys could keep them from going to New Home, but this was a point I dropped at the absolute last minute, and you can tell if you re-read chapter 29, because it’s hinted at, but the painkillers are never mentioned again. I figured that plot point was a little too dark for Alphys’ character)

Fun Fact: the zalgo text in Chapter 27 DOES actually have dialouge in it, if you know what to look for. Only one person has asked about it, but no one has yet to decifer it.

AT A GLANCE:

ARC LENGTHS (CHAPTER WISE) SHORTEST TO LONGEST

Hotland (4 Chapters)

New Home and Beyond (5 Chapters)

Waterfall (6 Chapters)

Snowdin (10 Chapters)

Ruins (12 Chapters)

ARC LENGTHS (WORDCOUNT WISE) SHORTEST TO LONGEST

Ruins (24k)

Hotland (36k)

New Home and Beyond (46.5k)

Snowdin (48k)

Waterfall (53.6k)

ARC LENGTHS (PAGE COUNT) SHORTEST TO LONGEST

(Same order as above)

TIME TAKEN TO WRITE/PUBLISH, SHORTEST TO LONGEST

Ruins (1 month)

Snowdin (4.5 months)

New Home and Beyond (~6 months)

Waterfall (11 months)

Hotland (>1 Year)

Other Numbers For Some Reason

Chapters 1 through 19 make up the 1st 50k words (this when Frisk falls into the underground, up to Sans attacking them in the kitchen) 19 chapters

Chapters 20 through 26 make up the 2nd 50k words (when Frisk decides to seek asgore’s help, to when Undyne cuts the bridge) 7 chapters

Chapters 27 through 31 make up the 3rd 50k words (when Frisk dislocates their shoulder to Flowey killing the messenger spider) 5 chapters

Chapters 32 through 37 make up the 4th 50k words (When Mettaton decides to change the programming, to Frisk’s final choice) 6 chapters

Only 5 chapters exceed 10k words, they are chapters 22, 27, 28, 33 and 36

Here’s a visual representation of all the chapters and their word counts in relation to one another. I was so startled by the spikes of chapter 22 and 28 that I had to go back and skim the chapters to remind myself what went down in them and why they were so long. Chapter 22 is papyrus trying to keep the human in snowdin while sans runs some errands, and then the human discovering the skelebro’s deceit. Chapter 28 is the human realizing Undyne tried to murder them, and then escaping from waterfall. I distinctly remembering saying I could have split chapter 28, but I was so tired of writing waterfall that I refused to do so because I just wanted it to end already.

I find it absolutely hilarious how consistant my word count was until chapter 20 (chapter 15 is an outliar), and then everything went off the rails.

Here’s a graph of the total word count, shown to you NaNoWriMo style~ (I spent way too long in excel making both of these charts, please validate me) 

The climb definitely looks a lot less drastic here, as it is always building on itself, but if you look closely, you can see one or two inflection points, roughly around chapter 20 and 28.

FINAL THOUGHTS

I’m so glad to finally be done with this story. It’s certainly deviated from what I originally planned, but I think all the changes are for the better. Now I can think about writing other things, like the PTA!AU shorts I’ve been meaning to do. It was fun and it was challenging, and this is literally the longest thing I’ve ever written in my life. Will I ever make a story this long again? Maybe?? If I ever encounter another game with as much character and worldbuilding as Undertale that also just hits me in the feels the same way, I might, but for now I’m going to focus on other projects (most of them still undertale related, but shut up)

Got any questions, comments, concerns for my fic? I’m so glad it’s done, now, and I’d be happy to talk about my thoughts behind it~

[meganlpie]

The New CSI

Anonymous asked: Meg, can I get a Barry Allen x fem!reader x Julian Albert fic? Maybe she’s the new CSI and she’s just as good at their job as the two of them and they’re impressed. Maybe she falls for Barry and Julian notices and kinds pushes them together, of only to get Barry to pay less attention to him and more to her. I love their dynamic

Here you go, anon! I do not own Julian or Barry. The belong to the creators/writers of “The Flash”.

Warnings: Awkward fluff, Julian being Julian

Pairings: Barry Allen/The Flash x fem!reader x Julian Albert

“No, Allen,” a  exasperated voice with a British accent floated from the lab. You bit your lip. You were nervous about starting a new job in Central City, but you knew you could do it. You were good at your job. So, with that new confidence, you stood up to your full height and walked into the room.

               Two sets of eyes turned to you. One blue, one green. The man with blue eyes cleared his throat. “Can I help you?” You handed him your file. “I’m your new CSI,” you told him, putting on a bright smile. “Y/F/N.” You glanced down at the name plate on the blonde’s desk. Julian Albert. Julian skimmed over your file and sighed. “Why did Captain Singh hire another CSI?  I’ve got it covered and Mr. Allen…helps in his own way.”

               You arched a brow. “Apparently there is some tension between you and Mr. Allen. Captain Singh thought it would be nice to have a third party. A buffer if you will.” Julian rolled his eyes before looking at the green-eyed man. “You’re training her, Allen.” You glanced over. His arms were crossed over his chest, but he smiled at you. “I’m Barry. Welcome to the team. I’d apologize for Julian, but he’s always like that. Come on.”

               "I don’t need training, Barry. I was a CSI in Star City for a few years before I was transferred. I know what I’m doing.“ You weren’t usually so defiant, but Julian’s attitude had rubbed off on you. “Test her, Allen. See if she knows as much as she thinks she does.”

*time skip brought to you by Cisco’s hair*

               You passed Julian’s test, impressing both him and Barry. Captain Singh had been right about the two of them needing a buffer. They couldn’t seem to agree on anything. Julian was very much a rule-book kind of a guy while Barry was more laid back. You were the happy median between the two and, while you grew close to both of them, you couldn’t help but fall for Barry. He was so adorable and awkward. However, you knew he liked someone else. You didn’t know who, but you could tell. So, you hid your feelings. Except from Julian. He was able to tell.

               "You should tell him,“ Julian said one day when Barry had left to get coffee. "Tell who what, Julian?” you asked him, not looking up from your work. Even without looking, you could almost hear Julian rolling his eyes. “Tell Allen that you have feelings for him.” You nearly dropped the sample you were working with. “What? No I don’t.”

               "Yes you do. It’s pretty obvious to everyone. Well, everyone except the ever unobservant Barry Allen.“ You scoffed and glanced back down at your sample. "Doesn’t matter. Barry doesn’t like me like that.” Julian chuckled softly. “You’re as unobservant as he is sometimes. You should tell him. Or he should tell you. Just get it over with.”

               "Why are you pushing this so hard, Julian?“ you questioned. He had to have some motive for his behavior. "Simple. If you and Allen are together, he’s more likely to bother you than he is me.” You giggled and shook your head fondly. “Oh, Julian. And I thought you liked me,” you pouted and Julian joined in your laughter.

               "What’s so funny?“ Barry’s voice interrupted your merriment. "Nothing important,” you answered quickly, but still smiling. Barry shrugged and handed you one of the coffees. “Just the way you like it,” he told you and you thanked him. Barry had memorized your coffee order within the first week of you working with them. “No problem,” he said with a grin that made your knees weak. You were glad to be sitting down.

               "Oh for goodness sake!“ Julian cried, making both you and Barry jump. "What’s wrong, Julian?” Barry asked. Julian gestured between the two of you. “This is what’s wrong. I swear you are both so blind. Y/N has feelings for you. You have feelings for her. Just admit it so I can get back to work without tension between you two.” Julian got up and left the room.

               You sat in your chair, your face hotter than it had ever been. You couldn’t believe Julian had done that. “You like me?” Barry asked, breaking the silence. You sighed and set down your work. Obviously you weren’t getting any work done. “Yes, Barry. I do, but don’t worry about it. I know you probably like someone else. I won’t get in the way of that as long as you’re happy.” You got up to leave the room. You needed some air.

               You didn’t get far before you felt Barry’s hand wrap around your wrist. “Y/N, wait.” You didn’t look back at him, but you stopped trying to move. “Who says I like someone else?” You sniffled. “I don’t need pity, Barry. Don’t say it if you don’t mean it.” Barry gently pulled you back toward him. “It’s not pity. I really like you, Y/N. I just thought you’d like Julian more.”

               You finally looked at him. “You do? You really do?” Barry nodded and used his free hand to rub the back of his neck. “So…would you like to go grab coffee?” You arched a brow and gestured to the coffee cups on the desk. “We already have coffee, Barry.” Barry exhaled and laughed. “Right. Of course. I meant another time.” You rolled your eyes as he started to babble.

               "Barry?“ He stopped talking. "Yeah?” You grinned. “I’d love to.” Using the hand Barry wasn’t holding, you reached up to the back of his head. You pulled him to you but, before your lips could touch, you heard someone clear their throat. “Neither the time nor the place.” You looked over to see Julian smirking. “Oh, hush,” you admonished and glanced back at Barry.

               He was staring at you in surprise. You guessed he wasn’t expecting you to kiss him. You giggled again and pressed your lips to his in a brief kiss. You pulled away and said, “Get to work, Allen. You don’t want to be stuck with overtime and miss our date, do you?” you asked with a wink. Barry laughed walked over to his desk. You looked back at Julian who gave you a little nod before turning to his own work.

(a/n: I hope you like it!)

Tagging: @brewsthespirit-blog @fairytalesexistxx @a-girl-who-loves-disney

[badonkodank]

Damages Done

ao3

Rating: T Characters: 2D, Noodle, Murdoc Tags: Implied/referenced abuse, Phase Three, Hurt/comfort, Platonic cuddling, Emotional baggage, Violence, Crying, Hugging, Murdoc’s an asshole, 2D and Noodle are best friends

Excerpt:  “Aren’t you afraid of whales?”

2D froze. He hadn’t been prepared to answer any questions along the lines of “whales”, and he was even less prepared to answer that one. He knew how to answer the question, sure, it had an easy answer. Not a simple one, by any means, but an easy one. He bit his lip, turning his attention back to the spot past Noodle’s head, half expecting Murdoc to appear.

A/N: Right off the bat: I've been in the fandom for less than a week, but I read up on everything and think I understand it for the most part? I wanted to do something that was post Plastic Beach but pre-DoYaThing video? I don't know if everything is 100% accurate, but I did do my best. I just had a lot of feelings about 2D and his relationships with Noodle and Murdoc. And just so nothing is misinterpreted: This is not a 2Nu fic- just good ole' fashioned platonic and familial love.Also: Has not been edited.

Faint sunlight filtered in through the shutters, leaving a dusting off golden yellow across 2D's face. The man woke slowly, yawning and stretching as he went. When he finished rubbing the sleep from his eyes, 2D looked around his room and frowned when piles of clothes and various furniture items strewn about greeted his vision. It took him perhaps longer than it should have to remember why his room looked different from what he'd been used to.

He promptly reminded himself that Plastic Beach was behind him and threw the covers off, getting out of bed to prepare for the day.

The new place they'd taken up residence was foreign to him, but he'd navigated it enough times to at least know how to get to the important places without getting lost. He was pretty sure they'd been there for a while at that point, though he'd only recently joined them, so he couldn't be completely positive.

He was just glad to have everyone back in his life. He didn't much like being alone. It was even nicer to have Noodle and Russel back, because when it was just him and Murdoc… well, he prefered having other people around to buffer the effects of Murdoc's treatment towards him. When they were around he at least had someone to hang out with after being yelled at by the bassist. At least it wasn't like Plastic Beach, when the only other person besides Murdoc in the immediate vicinity was a Cyborg- and that wasn't even technically a person.

Murdoc had told him it was as good as having the real Noodle around, but 2D hadn't much agreed. The real Noodle was warm and playful and sweet, whereas the Cyborg had been cold, distant, and in some cases, mean. Sure, the real Noodle could have her nasty streaks, same as any, but she always got over then and was rarely ever mean to him. Cyborg Noodle just did whatever Murdoc wanted her to, which was also unlike real Noodle.

He'd accepted the cold replacement as best he could, though. As heartsick as he'd been over the potential loss of their youngest band-mate, having a fake one had been better than nothing. He'd managed to convince himself of that, at least, because it was better than constantly agonizing over whether or not the real Noodle was alive or dead and not knowing the answer. Nonetheless, having Cyborg Noodle around had been weirdly uncomfortable for him, and he couldn't say he missed the damned thing- it had never been a proper Noodle and he'd never been able to fool himself into thinking it was.

2D paused in front of the room of the woman in question before heading downstairs. He didn't knock before cracking the door open to peak inside to check up on her; she was always asleep until at least seven, but sometimes he felt the need to make sure. He half expected to see cold eyes staring back at him when he found her form huddled under several blankets. He was relieved when he saw her hair falling around closed eyes set into a soft face. A gentle smile formed across his face and he closed the door, satisfied with his findings.

It was silly to think she wasn't the real one back, but sometimes his head did things that made no sense. When that happened it was better to just show it the truth instead of fret. Noodle was fine and she was there, just as he'd known she was. He sighed to himself as he made his way down the stairs. He was glad to have the proper Noodle back in the house. Her presence put everyone in a better mood, even Murdoc.

It was interesting, how she was able to affect everyone by simply existing in their space. He was glad for it, though. He liked feeling happier. He liked that Murdoc seemed happier too- if the word "happy" could be applied to the man, anyway. 2D liked that he wasn't getting smacked around as much. He wished Murdoc would stop hurting him altogether, since it would make life more comfortable, but since that would never happen, he could be content with what he had.

Even so, 2D found himself bummed that he couldn't just chill out and be himself when he was in the bassist's presence like everyone else seemed to be able to do. Noodle and Russel could shoot the breeze and when they were irritated with Murdoc, they could tell him off. He didn't have that luxury. He was always on edge around the Murdoc. He always had been, but since Plastic Beach he'd only gotten jumpier. And it wasn't just Murdoc that got him fidgety either; dark rooms weren't exactly a comfort to him anymore- though, whether it was because it reminded him of being stuck in a suitcase or a whale, he wasn't sure. Not that it mattered all that much, because it wasn't like he could control his fears.

As if summoned by his thoughts alone, the moment 2D sat on the sofa to relax a bit before breakfast, he found himself being harshly shoved off. He yelped and his butt collided with the floor around the same time Murdoc's order to "move it, Dents" registered in his mind.

He rubbed his back where some pain lingered, but didn't have much time to feel any relief before he was scrambling back to avoid having feet connect with his skull. Murdoc paid him no mind as he settled his legs on the coffee table with a tired groan and 2D blinked, still surprised to see him up so early.

Normally the man wouldn't wake up until much later in the day- or even if he was awake, he stayed in, doing whatever the hell it was he did in that pitch black room of his. It was a habit of his that 2D had come to rely on. He knew what times he could kick back and honestly relax without having to worry about someone coming in and yelling at him or something, so Murdoc being awake now and ruining that routine weirded him out.

"You're up early, Murdoc." His comment was carefully spoken as a casual observation more than a question.

Murdoc didn't look up from the TV. "'Spose I am."

2D stood up and wrung his hands awkwardly. He wasn't sure where he was supposed to make the conversation go from there, or if it was even a conversation after all; Murdoc had shut him down pretty effectively. It sucked, that he could do that and people would just leave him alone. Well, actually, 2D was really the only person who left him alone, but he supposed that was just because that was how their dynamic worked. He listened to what Murdoc told him to do most of the time and in return, Murdoc left him be. Not that that happened all that often- the Murdoc leaving him alone, part. Murdoc would make it out like he was gonna go away and then he'd do something like throw a boot at his head. Still, that was pretty tame compared to what he used to do.

2D resisted the urge to touch the corner of his eye with the thought, and instead let his arms hang loosely at his sides. He wasn't sure what he was supposed to do now. Murdoc had taken his seat, and with it, his sense of security. 2D supposed he could sit on the opposite side of the sofa, but he knew he'd just be on edge the entire time he did so, and since nobody else was around, and it was early, Murdoc would probably not hesitate to kick him for the hell of it.

It wasn't fair. The others didn't have to deal with the level of anxiety around Murdoc that he did. It was a little stupid, too. After so many years around the bassist, 2D figured he'd have gotten used to the emasculation and abuse, and just learned to deal with it better, but in the end, he was just as sad and pathetic as when everything had started. It was so frustrating. Russel wouldn't have taken so much crap from the man, and Noodle would've told Murdoc to go back to hell.

So why was he just taking it?

"Oi, you just gonna stand there all day?"

Murdoc's voice made him start. 2D forced a nervous laugh.

"Oh, sorry I's just finkin'."

Murdoc snorted and pulled a beer bottle from between the cushions, popping it open with a simple flick of his thumb.

"Ha, sure you were."

The comment served to strike a cord of indignation inside of him and 2D narrowed his eyes at man. The fact that Murdoc was intruding on his personal time was upsetting enough, but the fact that he now was calling him dumb, yet again, aggravated 2D in a way he assumed was Russel and Noodle's default around the man. Suddenly, the idea of sticking his tail between his legs and running off wasn't so appealing to him and 2D huffed, crossing his arms.

"Ya don' haff to be mean, Murdoc."

That wasn't exactly what he'd originally been planning to say, but, seeing as how much adrenaline was shot through his veins at the small quip, that was probably for the best. It was also probably good for preserving himself, seeing as how moody Murdoc could be when he was given attitude. Honestly he was walking a fine line already.

"'Scuse you?"

Murdoc looked amused even as his tone warned 2D to say anything else.

2D shrugged, but didn't change his stance, even if his eyes did flicker to the floor. He knew he should say nothing and let Murdoc win, but his attitude of thinking he could walk all over 2D was beginning to grate. He opened his mouth before he could think to stop himself.

"Said you don' haff to be a prick."

Murdoc looked shocked by his attitude for half a second, and in that moment 2D felt highly pleased with himself. If that was how it felt for the others when they stood up to the bassist, he could see why they did it so often.

As soon as that half second ended, 2D remembered why he didn't talk like that around Murdoc. The man was out of his seat and grabbing a fistful of his collar before 2D could react. He didn't fight it when Murdoc slammed him against the nearest wall.

"Wanna run that by me again, Face-Ache?"

At the close proximity 2D could smell the beer on his breath and he swallowed hard, that pleasant feeling for standing up to Murdoc long gone, probably never to come back. His irritation quickly bled away to fear, and then resignation. He knew there was no fighting off Murdoc. He'd pushed him a bit too far, so anything that happened next would be his fault.

Still, he thought of some way he could diffuse the situation. Because if there was anything worse than having his morning routine interrupted, it was having it interrupted while also getting the crap kicked out of him.

He dropped his eyes to the floor and shook his head. The last thing he wanted was to egg Murdoc on by speaking. He tensed his body even so, expecting a punch at the very least. To his utter astonishment, though, all Murdoc did was shove him hard against the wall again with a snarl.

He released him and headed for the kitchen after that. 2D blinked several times, watching the man's disappearing back while trying to work out in his head what exactly had happened. It didn't take as long as it normally might have, because when Murdoc passed a frowning Noodle, it made sense. Murdoc didn't tend to give thorough beatdowns in front of the young woman, and though he'd never say it aloud, 2D suspected it was because Murdoc was just as attached to Noodle as the rest of them. It was just another reason to be happy about Noodle's presence in his life.

As the bassist brushed past her, though, 2D doesn't miss the grumbled comment of his.

"Idiot's lucky I don't have another whale."

2D flinched despite his best efforts to remain calm and he knew that even if Murdoc had said it in a generalized way, he'd meant for him to hear it- he was underhanded like that. He knew exactly what to say to get under his skin.

Music came blasting from the kitchen soon after that and 2D finally paid attention to Noodle, who was looking at him with a curious tilt of her head. He smiled a little and waved in greeting.

"Are you okay?"

"Mhmm." 2D nodded, even though everything in his brain was chiding him for lying to her. He reasoned that it didn't really matter- he was used to it, at any rate.

He sat back down on the sofa after another moment of silence, pulling his knees to his chest as he let his eyes lock on the television. Noodle came to join him, sitting directly at his side and leaning her head against his shoulder.

"What are you watching, Toochie?"

The nickname normally would've made him smile fondly at her, but he barely looked at her this time around. He shrugged. He couldn't focus on what was actually flashing across the screen, though if Murdoc had been watching it he assumed it was a raunchy music video or something. He wasn't actually trying to watch anyways, but still, he couldn't have even if he wanted to, so he gave up and instead turned his attention towards Noodle.

He was thankful for her presence, and not just because she'd saved him from further abuse from their band leader. He liked spending time with Noodle. She was so nice to him, and she seemed to actually enjoy his company, which was a nice change of pace for him. The fact that she could also get Murdoc to chill out was a perk.

The moment he caught sight of her face in the corner of his eye he found her staring right back at him. Startled, he flicked his gaze towards where Murdoc had disappeared. He wondered if he should've thanked Noodle, for her help, even if helping hadn't been her intention. There wouldn't be any harm in doing so. Knowing Noodle, she'd probably just shrug it off with a smile.

"Fank you, by the way."

Noodle paused, looking at him with confusion even as she nodded, and even if he was the idiot Murdoc so loved to point out, 2D got where the look his coming from and elaborated.

"For distracting Murdoc, I mean."

"Oh." Noodle blinked, her eyebrows pulling together. "Sure."

That was all she said and 2D wondered what she was thinking about. She still looked pretty confused about his gratitude, but he couldn't understand why; she knew how Murdoc could be, after all- she'd almost been on the receiving end a few times. Or maybe she wasn't thinking about anything and was just tired still. That wouldn't have come as a big shock to him, seeing as how she usually slept until a little later. Everyone usually woke later. He had odd sleep habits, so he was usually asleep and awake when nobody else was.

As he was about to let it go and shift his attention back to the telly, Noodle spoke, and her question was decidedly unexpected.

"Aren't you afraid of whales?"

"Er- yes?" 2D squinted one eye and tilted his head to look at her better. He wasn't sure where that question had come from.

"What was Murdoc talking about when he said you're lucky he doesn't have another one?"

2D froze. He hadn't been prepared to answer any questions along the lines of "whales", and he was even less prepared to answer that one. He knew how to answer the question, sure, it had an easy answer. Not a simple one, by any means, but an easy one. He bit his lip, turning his attention back to the spot past Noodle's head, half expecting Murdoc to appear.

He wasn't supposed to talk about it- wasn't supposed to tell anyone what happened on Plastic Beach. Murdoc wouldn't be happy if he did. He wouldn't be happy at all.

Somehow, that knowledge only made him want to tell Noodle exactly what had happened. There were only so many times he could go against the bassist's wishes, and he liked to take every chance he got, just to remind himself that the man didn't control him, because he was his own person. 2D wondered if Murdoc even knew he still remembered everything about Plastic Beach. He doubted he did, since Murdoc was always the one quick to tell people that 2D didn't remember much- he was more of a pretty face than a brain.

Yeah, Murdoc wouldn't be happy whatsoever, and wasn't that just what made defying him all the more appealing? Because spiting the bassist right then would have been pretty fun. However, the way the throbbing sensation in his throat from before still hadn't left, reminding him exactly why, no matter how tempting, it wasn't a good idea.

No, he should stay quiet about it, not tell anyone- though he doubted anyone would believe him if he did, since they saw him as the brain damaged moron... But even brain damaged people knew when they were being treated badly.

The word "nothing" built up in his throat but died on his tongue when he glanced and saw Noodle giving him that patient, imploring face.

He shouldn't say anything to her, true, but he also couldn't not tell her. Holding back would make him feel even worse, because this was Noodle, the girl he'd watched -albeit through intervals- grow up, the one who'd managed to form a strange but special bond with each of the band members- even Murdoc, which, was astonishing to that day. And he knew she wouldn't degrade him for his fears and pain, and she wouldn't give Murdoc a reason to hurt him if he told her.

Besides, they'd been separated for a long time and he missed being able to just talk to someone without having to worry they were going to laugh at him or something equally bad. He'd missed the security of having a trustworthy confidant- hell, he'd missed talking to anyone who didn't have an ulterior motive for entertaining him. He'd missed… He'd missed her. He'd just missed her, and that was all it came down to. It was Noodle and she wanted to know what's wrong and he wanted nothing more than to tell her.

2D looked over her shoulder again, where Murdoc was only a room away, music blasting loud enough that if he was quiet he wouldn't be heard. Paranoid as it may have been, he had to be sure nothing he said would be overheard. Once he was satisfied with the security of the room, 2D took a deep breath and fixed his attention back on the TV; even if he was going to talk about the happenings of that time, he didn't want to look at her.

"Well, see…" He hesitated on where to start. It was hard, talking about the things he'd kept under wraps for what felt like such a long time. Noodle didn't rush him though, only waited patiently for him to continue.

"Well, I-I dunno exactly who did it- I fink it was Murdoc, but he says it was that, um, that Boogieman, an… I dunno. But a-anyways, they kidnapped me. They sorta um, gassed me and, um, shipped my in suitcase to Plastic Beach an' such."

He staved off a shudder at the memory of being trapped inside that small cage, choking on his breath as he tried to understand what was going on before finally being able to get the damned bag to pop open and release him. He still didn't completely believe Murdoc when he insisted that the dark creature was the one who'd captured him, because it seemed more likely that the bassist would have been the one to do it, considering his track record. However, Murdoc seemed stuck to that story, so 2D had no choice but to at least accept that that was the only sort of confession he was going to get from the man.

"An' Murdoc," he continued, lowering his voice at the mention of the person in the opposite room, "he wanted me to sing for the new album an' everyfing, so h-he kept me inside a, um, a room under the beach. It was in under the water, actually. See, he, he ah, wan'ed me to sing, an' when I didn't wanna, he didn't like that- you know h-how he gets."

2D wrapped his arms around his knees, staring at the dirty surface of the coffee table as he gnawed on his lip. He didn't feel like he needed to say exactly what Murdoc did when he wasn't pleased with his refusal to do what he wanted. Noodle could probably figure it out based on what she knew of Murdoc, and how she'd seen him treat him in the past.

He didn't want to have to say it aloud, how Murdoc had been moodier than usual because of everything that had been going on during that time, and had taken that moodiness out on him. How he'd forced him to stay locked up for days, or even weeks on end until he needed him to perform. Any illusions that 2D held about Murdoc caring about him as a friend and not just a band-mate had been shattered and pulverised during that time. And he'd been so angry about that. He'd never wished death on Murdoc more than he had during his days on that stupid island.

He felt bad about it now, but when Cyborg Noodle had tried to murder her creator, 2D hadn't felt particularly concerned for Murdoc's health. Now, he knew he would've been sad, if for no other reason than because Murdoc was the backbone of the band a lot of the time- but no, he would've been sad for other reasons. They were reasons that confused and upset him, but he chose not to think about those- he barely understood his own brain sometimes, he didn't need to have those weird and nonsensical thoughts running around. Murdoc had done nothing but hurt him since the day they'd met, so why did he still care what might happen to him?

2D shook his head with a heavy sigh. He didn't care to think about that stuff; it did nothing but make his head hurt. He didn't want to make it hurt any more than it already was. He thought about getting up to grab some pills, but didn't because he remembered he was supposed to complete the story for Noodle. Noodle, who wouldn't be very pleased if he left her alone because he wanted drugs.

He rubbed the bridge of his nose instead, hoping to relieve some of the pressure building up in his skull as he went on.

"So yeah, um, while he had me down there, he kept this whale guardin' me. Don' even know how he did that. Said he paid the thing." 2D swallowed hard at that particular memory.

Out of everything that had happened on Plastic Beach to scare him, that had to have been the worst. Murdoc, he was used to, so it had just been a matter of readjusting. But that whale… with those huge eyes and slimy looking skin and impossible amount of teeth in constant close vicinity…

He couldn't hold back a shudder that time and Noodle touched his arm out of concern. He closed his eyes and laughed softly. "It was so big an' it would just swin around and around me room all day. Jus' starin' at me with it's giant eyes, laughin' at me. Murdoc knows how scary they are…"

He really had been so scared. He'd never felt that level of fear in his life, being so near the thing that terrified him and knowing he had nowhere to run in order to escape it. It had left him unable to think straight, and sleeping had been near impossible during those days. When Murdoc had first announced who his warden would be, 2D thought it might have been easier if the man had just punched him in the stomach until he bled out.

His eyes burned and 2D was quick to try and wipe the moisture away before it could become noticeable. He didn't mean to cry, but it seemed he couldn't stop himself. Remembering everything all over again and saying the words aloud turned out to be a lot more emotionally straining than he'd thought it would be.

He looked at Noodle over his arms and found her looking shocked. He couldn't tell what she was thinking, and for some reason, he both did and didn't want to know. He said nothing, though, leaving to whatever was running through her head while he tried to quiet the sniffles that escaped him.

When a particularly loud sniff was pulled from him Noodle began rubbing tight circles on his back.

"Murdoc did that?"

She sounded genuinely perplexed by the very thought of that being truth that 2D wanted to cry even more. He didn't though. He nodded instead.

"Y-yeah."

Noodle's expression suddenly went startlingly blank.

"Really."

She sounded… 2D hadn't heard Noodle mad a lot before, but he knew she sounded something like that. Somehow, though, this was worse than the mad he knew to expect from her. This time, it sounded like she was livid, like how Murdoc got before he really went to town on someone for irritating him. It made 2D flinch and he sniffled again, the tears suddenly falling harder.

He'd already figured nobody would believe him, sure, but he'd also trusted that at the very least, Noodle wouldn't judge him. However, her tone suggested she was doing just that. He'd already expected disbelief, but hearing Noodle honestly question him, like she really couldn't believe what he'd said, hurt so much- maybe even more than anything nasty Murdoc had ever said about him.

2D hid his face in his arms and tried to quiet the sobs that were pulling themselves from his lips. He hadn't meant to make Noodle angry, and yet he'd still managed to. It seemed he just couldn't do anything right lately.

"S-sorry."

The circling on his back stopped suddenly.

"What are you sorry about?"

He shrugged and took a deep breath to try and calm down, but only succeeded in adding hiccups to his growing list of problems.

"M- I… I dunno, makin' you mad an'…"

"Oh, Toochie, no." Noodle sighed, and the sound was almost sad. The hand on his back shifted and 2D stifled a yelp when he was suddenly being enveloped in the younger woman's arms. He stiffened, not sure what to do with the change in events, not sure if he could do anything. He wasn't exactly sure why Noodle was hugging him in the first place, though he wasn't about to complain- he'd missed hugs.

"I'm not mad at you," she said quietly, "and I'm so sorry that happened to you."

2D didn't realize how much he'd needed to hear those exact words until they were running into his ears and wrapping his head and heart in an embrace as tight as the one his body was receiving. His arms moved without permission to wrap around Noodle, and 2D clung to her as his sobs came out louder.

Of course he'd misinterpreted her reaction, of course he had. He was stupid, after all, when did he not make mistakes? Of course Noodle cared. She was Noodle and she always cared. That nature was what made her Noodle.

It had been a long time, it felt, since somebody cared.

He cried harder because of that too, and soon enough he was stuck hiccuping and wiping globs of snot on his shirtsleeve to keep them out of Noodle's hair. He knew he should've felt embarrassed for breaking down like that, but he couldn't bring himself to care. Crying made him feel better sometimes; it was what he did when things got to be too much, and now was no different. Noodle wasn't judging him him for it, that much he now knew.

She shushed him every time he whimpered loudly and the two of them remained like that until his sobs died down and his breathing evened out. He didn't release her immediately though, and she didn't try to pull away. She gave him a tight squeeze and he gave her a wet chuckle in return.

"Feel better?"

2D wasn't sure how he felt, honestly. He'd gone through a lot of feelings in the past several minutes and then he'd emptied them all out and now… now he just felt a content sort of empty. He probably could've fallen back asleep, honestly, but doing so would only further wreck his already strange sleeping schedule.

For Noodle's sake, he nodded. It was easier to do that than explain his lack of functioning feelings. Besides, it was nice to not focus on how he felt for a second and simply enjoy the comfort of being embraced by someone who cared about him.

However comforting Noodle was to him though, his mind caught up with him eventually and he was left with the realization that before his complete breakdown, Noodle had been utterly pissed off. But she hadn't been angry with him. But that also had to mean that she was… angry with Murdoc.

The very thought of that was a novel concept to him- sure, all the band-mates got mad at Murdoc for one reason or another in the past, but he'd never heard that level of anger in Noodle's voice directed at anyone in their dysfunctional little family. It made him wonder if she would have done anything if he hadn't melted down like that.

"Noodle?"

"Mmm?"

"Did you-"

"For fuck's sake, can ya stop sniveling long enough for me to write this damn bit?"

Murdoc stood to the side, a hand on his hip and a pen clenched in the other. He glared at him and 2D shrunk back instinctively. He knew Murdoc hadn't heard anything he'd been talking about, but that didn't stop fear from raising its ugly head when he saw him. The fact that Murdoc had heard him at all, even with the music going as loud as it had, wasn't a great comfort to him.

Noodle tensed beside him too and 2D's eyes widened, the irrational part of his brain screaming at him that he shouldn't have said anything to her, because she was going to tell Murdoc and then he was going to be in trouble. And that only led him to feel extremely embarrassed, because he was a grown man, he shouldn't have been allowing himself to feel so small and cornered by a guy who was shorter and more of a bitch than him.

And then he felt horrible for even entertaining the idea that Noodle would rat him out like that. Noodle wouldn't do something like that- she knew how important trust was, and how much he didn't like Murdoc. So she'd be quiet about the whole thing.

All he really needed to do was reply to Murdoc in a way that would placate him so that he would go back to his work and leave them be.

"Sorry, Mur-" Noodle put a hand over his mouth and muffled the rest of the apology.

He sent her a curious look and her response was to let go of him and get slowly up from the sofa. She was being very calm, and that was a bit alarming, though he couldn't put his finger on why exactly that was. At least not until she was standing right in front of Murdoc, driving her fist into his gut.

The man grunted and tried not to double over as 2D shot up from the couch and hovered behind Noodle, who was picking up Murdoc up by the collar and shoving him into the wall while pulling him down to her level, much like he'd done to 2D not too long ago.

"N-Noodle stop, really it's- it's fine."

He put a hand on her shoulder, figuring he'd just pull her back and that would be the end of it. Shockingly enough, however, she shrugged him off and landed another blow on Murdoc in the same motion.

"What are you on about, love?" The man growled, clearly winded by the punch but trying not to show it.

2D only stared on in growing worry when Noodle smacked Murdoc in the face, giving him a bloody lip. He'd never seen the girl so violent before, and he wondered warily if this was a special situation for such a side of her to surface, or if this was what he could expect from the new Noodle. She hadn't seemed any different from before when they'd first met back up- maybe a bit more mature and weighed down by her journey, but that was it.

Noodle continued with the beating and 2D was even more shocked when he didn't see Murdoc lift a finger to defend himself. Perhaps he was too surprised to fight back, or maybe he just couldn't bring himself to hurt Noodle, 2D couldn't quite figure it out. He did know that this wasn't like Noodle and it hit him just how mad she was with Murdoc, and suddenly, every punch that landed felt like a physical blow to him, because he knew he was responsible for the whole ordeal.

"Noodle, please stop."

He asked that several times before Noodle finally slowed down to reveal Murdoc's bloodied and bruised face. It didn't look as bad as 2D's been anticipating, but it still looked painful enough that he cringed upon seeing it.

When Noodle released him, Murdoc he groaned, wiping a drizzle of drool and blood from his mouth while he frowned down at the woman.

"I suppose that was a long time coming."

His tone was airy enough, which seemed paradoxical, considering the displeased expression he wore. Noodle only glared at him in response and Murdoc chuckled.

"Fair enough. But I do think it's fair to let me know what that was all about?"

Noodle's glare only seemed to intensify and 2D had to resist the urge to grab her, fearing she might lunge at the bassist again. The silence stretched on for several uncomfortable seconds before Noodle finally reached out to latch onto his hand. 2D looked down and squeezed tightly, more to make sure she was staying put than anything. When he looked back between the two, he saw Noodle's eyes narrowed until they were almost slivers and she was meeting Murdoc's gaze dead on.

"You touch him again and you'll be answering to me."

Murdoc's eyes lit with understanding then and 2D flinched when the man turned a hateful glare his way. He didn't know what Murdoc was going to do to him, but he didn't look forward to whatever it was. He waited for an attack that never came and started again when Noodle cleared her throat impatiently.

Murdoc seemed to have a short internal battle as his eyes flicked from 2D to Noodle and back again, but eventually one side won and he growled once more before giving a single, sharp nod. 2D had to be careful not to gawp like a fish out of water. Seeing Murdoc listen to someone else was a rare sight, and seeing it be done on his behalf was even rarer still.

Noodle gave a satisfied nod of her own before tightening her grip on his hand, moving to lead 2D away, back upstairs. 2D followed willingly, wanting nothing more than to be far away from the man attempting to murder him with his hateful glares.

Before they could disappear around the corner though, 2D turned to check if Murdoc was still staring at their retreating figures. He was, and he met the bassist's bruised gaze long enough to see a flash of, maybe -almost?-, regret, before it was washed away by a look that told 2D he'd have to tread very carefully around him if he wanted to live. It also said that he'd better be glad Noodle was around, because if she hadn't been, things likely would've turned out much different.

2D gulped and turned back around to pay attention to where they were going. He asked Noodle what she planned on doing and she shrugged.

"Wanna play video games?"

The offered distraction was a welcome one and 2D smiled as he nodded, though the expression didn't come anywhere near his eyes. Because even though he now knew how far Noodle would go to protect him, and that knowledge warmed his heart, he had to deal with the fact that he'd created a permanent rift between Noodle and Murdoc.

And that was something Murdoc would never forgive him for.

Even if it was never said in so many words, they all knew Noodle was Murdoc's favorite. He was just as attached to her as any of them. That was why he'd never taken the time to look for a new guitarist, instead spending his time creating a cyborg that looked exactly like the band member they couldn't find. It was probably why he hadn't hit Noodle right back, and it was most certainly why he'd nodded along with what she said. Because, whether he admitted it or not -and he never would- Murdoc, in his own weird way, cared about Noodle as much as the rest of them.

So it was very unfortunate for him that she happened to care about 2D, something he couldn't feel completely bad about. He liked having someone who liked him enough to defend him against those who wanted to harm him. He felt cared about and like he was protected, and that was a little more of a new feeling for him, and it was nice.

Even so, he knew the fact that he'd probably, accidentally ruined that relationship, was going to haunt him for a long while.

In the end, the whole ordeal was rather bittersweet.

A/N: I don't hate Murdoc, by the way. I just have very mixed feelings about him, and I don't like the way he treats people.