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tinyboxxtink · 3 years

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"Clueless" *Part 3*

Okay so my dog ended up being totally fine, and luckily I had most of this written beforehand. <3

PS- REALLY shouldn't have watched the actual movie while writing this...lulz. Count how many actual lines from the movie you catch.

Part 1

Part 2

Part 4

Tag List:

@lolliepopsicle

@chasingeverybreakingwave

@wanniiieeee

@milkshqke

@gibbs274

@aprildecker-blog

@objection-argumentative

@word-scribbless

@stars-in-the-skies-world

-----

He drove back up the Beach House, but you and Ariel had abandoned it for a loft in the city, no forwarding address. He asked himself why he was putting so much effort just to get back in contact with you. He couldn’t explain it, it was like something against logic.

He dialed Ariel’s number.

IGNORE.

Redial.

IGNORE.

Text: “Answer your phone!!!”

Redial.

“What do you want?”

“I want to talk to Y/N,”

“Well she doesn't want to talk to you,”

“What did you tell her, Ariel?”

“The truth,”

“I don’t...I can’t even begin to imagine what that means in your language,”

“Oh whatever Raf, what does it matter what I told her? She’s MY friend, not yours!”

“You don’t OWN her Ariel,”

“Don’t I?” She smirked. “I feed her, I clothe her, I give her a roof to sleep under. I even gave her a cute necklace with her name on it, like a collar,” she smirked.

"You're evil," he sneered.

“I’m a saint,” She scoffed. “Do you know where that girl would be without me? Do you know the years it would take in a therapist's office to heal the emotional trauma I so selflessly saved her from? Her life will be enriched and better because of me, how many girls can say that about you?"

“Oh right, like helping her hasn’t served you any purpose?”

“What purpose could it possibly have?”

“Please, if I ever saw you do anything less than 90% selfish I’d die of shock,”

“Oh that would be reason enough for me,”

“Look, I get it. You've never had a mother so you're treating her like your personal Barbie doll,"

“And what, you wanna be her Prince Ken? Or, lawyer Ken,”

“She’s NOT a Barbie doll!”

“You’re right, she’s not. So I’m not going to let you play with her emotions,”

“What does that even mean? For fuck’s sake Ariel, I just want to be her mentor,”

“Really?” Rafael could hear her rolling her eyes through the phone. “You’re trying THIS hard to mentor some girl you met less than 24 hours ago? REALLY,” She chuckled.

“I may not be ‘Harvard’ smart BRO, but I’m not stupid. I know when a guy has let’s say, less than moral intentions with a girl,”

“It’s not like that,” He growled. “She’s a sweet girl, Ariel. And I’m not going to let you try and change her into your clone,”

“Wha--my clone? Please, Raf she could NEVER reach my level. Believe me, I’ve tried for four years. She’s a good sidekick,”

“This isn’t over,”

“Isn’t it? You have ZERO idea where we are,”

“Please, there’s maybe 5 places in Manhattan you’ll go, and they’re all on the Upper East Side. It’s not hard,”

“Well then, I guess we’ll see who’s better at hide and seek!”

CLICK.

------

Ariel rolled her eyes with a smile just as you walked in the living room.

“Who was that?” You asked, toweling your hair from the shower you had just exited.

“Mom,” She rolled her eyes. “She wanted to make sure we weren’t tearing this place up,”

“Oh?” You asked, suddenly hopeful. “Was she going to ask Rafael to check?”

“What? NO,” Ariel shut down that thought quickly. “I assured her she didn’t need to send that dog over here to sniff around you anymore,”

“Ariel,” You rolled your eyes with a sigh. “I’m a big girl,”

“I know sweetie,” She walked over and scrunched your face. “Such a big girl,”

“Whatever,” You rolled your eyes again walking back to the bedroom.

“Hey…” Ariel grabbed the TV remote. “Do you wanna watch Clueless?”

“What? ….Why?”

“I don’t know, you mentioned it yesterday and now I can’t stop thinking about a young Paul Rudd,”

“....Who looks exactly like present Paul Rudd,” You laughed.

“I know right? I want the magic face cream he must use,” She giggled as you both sat down on the couch to watch the movie.

----

“See, Cher isn’t a bad person, right? She saved Tai,” Ariel gestured to the TV.

“Am I Tai in this situation?” You eyed her.

“Well, yeah,” She shrugged. “Duh,”

“I’ll take it, I love Brittany Murphy,” You shrugged.

“RIP,” Ariel made a sign of the cross with a kiss looking up to heaven. “We should pour one out for her,”

“On your mom’s thousand dollar rug?”

“Okay, so maybe just pour one for us,”

Her phone vibrated wildly; it vibrated so hard it fell off the coffee table onto the floor. You picked it up to put it back, but you happened to glance at the screen.

BHOLE BARBA: You can’t keep her from me forever, Ariel

Wha….keep who from him? You? Did...was he...did Ariel….?

“Alright, who’s ready for mimosas?!” Ariel said in a singsongy voice as she returned with two flutes of champagne.

“What is this?” You held the phone up to her. She read it, her eyes grew wide.

“I...He’s talking about the Adele CD I borrowed from him forever ago, he’s weirdly possessive about ‘her’,”

“Ariel,” You interrupted her with a stern face.

“What?” She played dumb.

“...How could you do this to me?” You asked with a hurt expression.

“Do what?” She rolled her eyes with a laugh. “Protect you from my loser ex brother?”

“You--! Oh my god,” You couldn’t believe it. Your own best friend was trying to mess with your happiness?

“Oh come on Y/N, it’s not that big of a--” She rolled her eyes with a laugh, pissing you off even more.

“It IS a big deal!” Tears stung your eyes, you hated that you started crying when you got angry. How pathetic was that?

“Why? You can’t possibly be in love with him or something,” She scoffed.

“NO! Of course not,” You crossed your arms. “But he could help me with school, with my career! Don’t you want me to get a good job, eventually move out of here?”

“Maybe I don’t!” She yelled suddenly.

“...What?” You asked in disbelief.

“Look, Y/N,” She sighed. “I...you...we both know under normal circumstances, we would never be friends,”

“...I mean, I guess…” You shrugged.

“Oh come on,” She gave you a look. “You’d have to explain every sentence you spoke to me,” She had crocodile tears rolling down her cheeks.

“Oh come on Ariel,” You sighed and sat next to her. “You’re NOT stupid,”

“I’m stupider than you!” She cried.

“...More stupid,” You corrected her.

“See?” She sniffled.

“Okay, but-- still,” You took her hand. "You're my best friend. Do you think that if I don't have to live with you anymore, I won't be your friend?"

"Maybe…" She looked at the floor.

"Ariel!" You cried. "Really? Come on,"

"You come on!" She was actually getting upset now. "Look, Y/N. I don't have...friends,"

"What?" You snorted. "You have the biggest social circle I know!"

"Yeah but--" she tried to find the right words. "They're not like….friends, friends ya know? They're more like…. followers, or leeches, of--"

"Sycophants," you chuckled. She did surround herself with as many people who would tell her she was amazing as possible.

"I don't know what that means but probably, yes," She nodded. “You’re the only one who I can actually talk to, you’re like my little sister,”

“....Right, so…? You think I’ll just give all that up if I move out? If I don’t need you financially anymore?”

“Maybe…” She mumbled. “But ALSO, if that stupid asshole gets into your head about me!”

“Oh God…” You put a hand over your head. “Ariel,” You took both of her hands and looked at her very seriously.

“You are my absolute best friend in this entire world, no…’boy’ could change that! I’ve known you so long, I know you completely. Nothing he could tell me would make me turn on you, I swear it,”

“Really?” She raised an eyebrow at you.

“Really! You held a hand up like an oath. “AND, even if-- WHEN, I get financially stable and can live on my own two feet, I will ALWAYS be your friend,” You used the oath hand and placed it in hers again. “I swear it,”

“....Okay, but absolutely ZERO sleepovers here,”

“Oh, my god, ARIEL,” You gasped. “I JUST want to talk to him about law stuff!”

“Yeah, that’s what he said too,” She rolled her eyes, not believing either of you.

“He did?” You felt your face fall.

“Ah HA! See? Disappointment!”

“Shut up,” You hit her. “I don’t care, we should just be professional anyway,”

“Uh huh,” She nodded sarcastically.

“Are you going to give me his number or not?” You gave her a look.

“No,”

“ARIEL,” You crossed your arms.

“No, then you’re going to immediately call him and give him ALL the power,” She wagged a finger at you. “I’m going to give him YOUR number, and if he calls you, he calls you,”

“Ariel…” You gave her another look.

“What? You don’t believe me?” She feigned offense.

“I really don’t,” You shook your head.

“Alright FINE,” She pulled out her phone and opened her texts with Rafael, typed in your number and hit SEND.

“Happy?” She showed you her phone.

“....Maybe,” You hid the giddiness that was building in your stomach.

Almost IMMEDIATELY after sending the text, your phone lit up wildly.

“Good god I’m gonna get out of here before the nerdy phone sex starts,” She ran out of the room with her mimosa in tow.

“Shut up!” You hissed, mentally preparing yourself for this phone call. The phone call you’d been waiting for for days, even when you thought he was a “player”. You took a deep breath and hit ANSWER:

“Hello?”

“Y/N?”

“Yeah who’s this?” You asked coyly.

“It’s...Rafael, Barba…”

“I’m sorry, who?” You teased.

“Ariel’s….brother?” He skipped the asterisk that went along with “Brother”.

“Ohhhh right right right,” You nodded, keeping him nervous. “Yeah, Ariel told me all about you,”

“I knew it,” He growled thinking about Ariel and her lies. “Whatever she said, she’s lying,”

“Oh so you don’t want to be my mentor?”

“Wha--?” He was shocked. Did Ariel actually change her mind? Or dare he think...a change of heart?

“Yes! I mean, I do! I absolutely do!” He may have said that a little too overzealous, so he dialed it back. “I mean, if I have some time I’d be up for it, if that’s okay with you,”

“I might, maybe…” You were twirling your hair in your fingers. “When do you think you might have time?”

“Well you know I was thinking--” He started, but there was a knock at the door.

“Oh sorry, one second,” You got up and walked over to the door and swung it open to reveal Rafael standing there, right in front of you. He was dressed in a black suit with a pink tie. As amazing as he looked in street clothes, you thought you might mount him right there in that suit.

“I have some time right now,” He smiled, acting as if he was still on the phone. You couldn’t help yourself, you leapt into his arms and kissed him, HARD.

-------

“Hello? Y/N?”

You snapped back to reality, Rafael was talking to you on the phone.

“Oh! Um, Yeah, sorry what?”

“I said I have some time right now, if you wanna meet for coffee or something,” He half laughed, still enchanted by your awkwardness.

“Yes! Sure! I...let me just get dressed, just text me the address, I’ll meet you in a few,” You were so glad he couldn’t see how beet red you were from that little fantasy you had just been in.

“Sounds good,” You could hear him smile; even through the phone it made you weak in the knees.

You hung up and ran to Ariel’s room, hoping she’d help you get dressed.

What could you wear to impress him?

#rafael barba #rafael barba x you #rafael barba x reader #law and order svu #law and order svu fanfiction #clueless #rafael barba imagine

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kitweewoos · 4 years

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"And I want to give that to you, I swear." Jemma/Ward

This was fun, thanks for the prompt, nonny!

9. And I want to give that to you, I swear.

Jemma had gotten used to lying, and she hated that. Her friends thought she was a terrible liar, but she had learned how to fake it. She hated lying, but to keep him? To keep him, she’d do anything.

“Grant,” she sighed, sinking into his arms at the end of the day. “Thank you.”

He wrapped his arms around her waist, and let her rest against his chest.

“You’re okay, then? The antiserum worked?”

“I’m okay. It’ll take a few days to fully recover, but I am okay, especially after what you did. I can't thank you enough for diving out of the plane after me.”

When he'd caught her and injected her, he'd kissed her and told her not to do that again as he held her close.

Now, he kissed her jaw sweetly, and she stroked over his cheekbones.

“I just wish I didn’t have to sneak in here," she said.

“I know. Me too. I hated that I couldn’t help today, that I had to pretend that we were nothing and I wasn’t worried.”

“As always your performance was impeccable,” she said.

“Yeah? Believable?”

Jemma had been hiding her relationship with Grant for nearly a year before they’d both been tapped for Coulson’s team. They’d had a chance encounter at the Hub that had blossomed into an unforgettable weekend and a secret relationship. He was a specialist always moving from mission to mission, and she was terrified of getting caught breaking the rules, and somehow it just worked. It was exciting, keeping it all under wraps, sneaking off to see him, clandestine meetings in hotel rooms, reservations in the private rooms of an expensive restaurant. When they’d both been asked to join, she hadn’t expected Grant’s new assignment to lead him to the Bus, but there he was, strolling into the cargo bay, and she’d been thrilled.

It was easier to be with Grant here on the Bus, and so much harder. May and Coulson seemingly had eyes everywhere, and Skye was just always around, watching them. Fitz, as always, was being Fitz and unobservant to her social life which she had always been thankful for. Jemma often snuck into Grant’s bunk long after everyone had gone to sleep for the night for an orgasm and some cuddles, and then she’d climb out of bed after she heard May rise to start tai chi in the cargo bay.

“No one will know a thing,” she said.

She could hear the sadness in her own voice.

“I’m sorry it had to be like this, Jem. You deserve more than this. You always have.”

“So do you. I want to stay up late having a lot of beautiful, wonderful sex, and to have brunch together the next morning after sleeping in. I want to hold your hand and take you out on a date where Skye helps me pick out an outfit and Coulson pulls his disappointed dad face at you. I love you, and I want everyone to know it.”

“And I want to give that to you, I swear,” Grant replied, forehead resting against her collarbone. “I hate that you have to leave every tie instead of relaxing with me.”

It had taken most of the year in order for Grant to admit that, that this was more than sex to him too. He’d been sto stoically a specialist that he hadn’t been able to let her in at first, and getting him to let a wall down to know how he felt about her had taken a lot of time and patience. But he had one night during a longer than normal meeting. They’d laid in bed, Jemma’s cheek on his chest, his fingers stroking through the length of her hair.

“Hey Jemma?” he’d said.

“Yes?”

“Are you seeing anyone else?”

“No, of course not. Are you?”

“No. No, I’m not. It’s just that you’re it for me and -”

“I am?”

He’d paused, unsure of himself, and she’d lifted herself off of him, resting on her elbow.

“Grant?”

“I love you, Jemma,” he’d said, and Jemma had grinned. It was the first step he’d taken to commit to them as a couple.

But now, he didn’t pause before telling her how he felt, but only when they were alone. They were too scared that being out in the open might ruin or change this.

He bumped his nose against hers for a kiss, and she obliged, kissing him slowly. They were safe and whole and the whole world couldn’t see them in their little bunk together.

“Just promise me that one day we won’t have to hide, that we’ll be able to step out of the shadow and have some kind of future together?”

He didn’t pause as he answered, “I promise, Jemma. No matter what happens, we won’t have to hide forever. We’ll tell Coulson if we have to, so, at least here on the Bus, we can be open. It would be nice to have a home with you, to have a home at all, and I can see it being here with the team.”

“That sounds really nice,” she said. “Can I stay here tonight? I know it’s risky, but -”

“You can stay forever, Jemma.”

She bumped her nose against his to ask for a kiss, and when he kissed her, it tasted like forever.

#agents of shield #biospecialist #jemmaward #jemma simmons #grant ward #aos s1 au #prompt tag #hey nonny nonny #Anonymous

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saharamae21 · 4 years

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Vapor (Part 10)

Hey guys! I hope can tell by the last chapter that you needed more content. Here is part 10! Tell me what you think!

Word Count: 2.4K

Warnings: Mention of abduction, unconsensual touching, muder, and suicidal thoughts.

______________________________________________

I didn’t know what to think after that night. The dreams continued, but so did the thoughts of JJ. I couldn’t figure either out. I woke up screaming, I went to bed crying. Everything was a huge mess and I couldn’t seem to get a grip on any of it.

I laid in bed, not wanting to move. However, I promised Kie ages ago that we would get ready for Midsummers together. I promised her I would go and smile like everyone else because that’s what we both had to do. We had to stand there and look pretty for photos. I got up, grabbed everything I needed, and headed over.

Midsummers was a tradition for Kiara and I. Every year we would sit on her bed and gossip about who was going with who and what drama was going to happen. We would laugh because neither of us really cared, but it was fun to talk about. I had a feeling this year would be different though. I knew it would be awkward to be around the people who didn’t want to be my friend. It would be awkward to see Kiara after leaving like that. I knew she would bring up JJ and I wasn’t prepared for it. I walked up to her front door and rang the doorbell. Mrs. Carerra greeted me with a hug and told me Kiara was in her room. I walked up and knocked. She seemed surprised to see me, but not disappointed.

“Hey…” she said. I gave her a smile and asked if I could come in. She nodded and made room for me on her bed. It was tense at first. Neither of us knew what to say.

“I’m sorry,” I whispered. “I-” “A, shut up,” she said with a smile. That smile meant she understood. She knew perfectly well why I couldn’t be around them. She knew that I was going through a tough time. “So, how was White Chapel…?”

“It was… eventful,” I said. I listened to her say that she heard that they found loads of bodies there. I nodded and never looked up from my hands. She could tell I was uncomfortable by the subject, but she kept pressing. She wanted me to open up to her, I just didn’t know if I could. I thought about Topper and how JJ freaked out. I thought about JJ and the fight and the… kiss.

“Adelaide?” she asked and my head snapped to look at her. I apologized for zoning out and she dropped the subject. I listened to her tell me about the situation that happened earlier today. I listened as she told me what JJ and Pope had done. She told me that JJ was arrested and my heart sank. I knew what his dad would do to him. I knew how much pain he was going to go through. I wanted to get up and run out that door, but I couldn’t. He didn’t want to see me. He didn’t need me.

“Please, be okay,” I accidentally mumbled aloud. Kie looked at me and asked if I said something. I shook my head no and then we got ready.

Kiara looked beautiful in her long silky purple dress. I could tell she hated it, but I thought she looked stunning. I had brought along a blush pink dress. It was flowy and loose. I slipped on my flower crown and looked at the both of us in the mirror. I looked like nobody next to Kie. The dress hugged her body and no one would be able to look away from her. Me, on the other hand, looked basic. I would blend in and that’s the way I wanted it.

I said my goodbyes to the Carerra’s and told Kie that I would see her there. My family would kill me if I didn’t attend the event from start to finish with them. I walked up the steps of my house and into the living room. My sister wore light blue and my mom wore yellow. We looked like Easter had just thrown up on us. I bit my tongue to suppress any of my thoughts from slipping out of my mouth as my dad told us he was getting the car.

Midsummers was extra as always. The lights and the decorations were over the top for some event to honor someone who did barely anything this whole year. We should be honoring the Pogues for their hard work. I rolled my eyes at the venue as we walked up. Mom turned to Sydney and I and told us to be on our best behaviors. I nodded, knowing better than to argue with her. Then as soon as we were inside, Sarah caught my eye. I awkwardly walked up to her, hoping things would be better. She asked me what I wanted though. She gave me the cold shoulder and told me I should go bother someone else.

“Or maybe you could kiss Topper again,” she said snidely as she walked away. I felt defeated. I felt a hand rest on my shoulder and looked to see Top. He looked handsome in his off white suit. It fit him perfectly and the blue tie accented the outfit so well. He smiled at me in a reassuring way.

“Don’t mind her,” he said. “She’ll get over it soon enough.”

I nodded and went to find Kiara. However, instead of Kiara, I found JJ. His lip was split and his face was painted black and blue. I stood right in front of him staring. I opened my mouth to say something, but he walked away, leaving me there. He didn’t want to see me. He didn’t want to hear what I had to say. He didn’t want anything to do with me. I sighed and kept near the exits. I sipped on my Mai Tai and tried to ignore the fact that I felt lonely. I watched Kie and Pope talk. I saw JJ dance up to Sarah Cameron of all people. I watched my parents talk to their friends and here I was, alone. Just as I wished someone would come up and talk to me, I regretted it. A familiar baby blue suit walked up and stood directly in front of me. “Hey Adelaide,” he said. He motioned for his boys club to disperse for a moment. “I heard something interesting from my dad the other day.” I remembered Ward leaving our house. I remembered how odd I had found it. There was no way my dad told him why I was in White Chapel. There’s no way my dad would mention my abduction. I panicked as I said I didn’t know what he was talking about. I tried to excuse myself, but he caught my wrist.

“Really? I think you know exactly what I’m talking about,” he whispered in my ear. “I’m talking about how that man took you from a public area, threw you in his trunk, and drove away without anyone noticing.” I flinched as he kept talking. I started to shake as he tightened his grip on my wrist.

“I bet he did all sorts of things to you, didn’t he?” he whispered. My breath hitched. “I bet he tied you up. I bet he told you that you were so pretty. Did he linger a little too long? Smell your hair? Call you pet names?” “Knock it off,�� I said shakily. I tried to rip my arm out of his grip, but he wouldn’t budge. I could feel his fingers digging into my skin, creating bruises in the shape of his hand.

“Let’s talk somewhere else,” he said. “Unless you want everyone here to know what happened to you.” Fear consumed me as the thought of everyone finding out raced through my head. I wanted to be a normal kid. I didn’t want to be pitied or looked at differently. I closed my eyes and swallowed hard. He told me Kelse would show me the spot, as he had business to take care of. I stood with Kelse who was unaware of the conversation Rafe and I had just had. Kelse and I have never had an issue. He was always nice to me, but when Rafe showed up his personality always did a 180. He walked me to the lobby and told me I looked nice. I thanked him in the least shaky way I could. Then JJ bolted through the lobby, Rafe shortly behind him. I knew what was going to happen as Kelse grabbed my arm and we followed. I didn’t want to. I wanted to run in the opposite direction, but if they were going to hurt JJ, I needed to stop it. I was shoved into the men’s locker room and Kelse let go of me. He changed his focus to JJ and stopped him from getting away. I felt Rafe grab me. He knew the only way to get to JJ right now was through me. I shoved Rafe away from me, but it triggered an anger in him that I’ve never seen. He grabbed me by the throat and I heard JJ yell at him to leave me alone. “Get your hands off her!” he yelled. “You’re fucking dead Rafe!”

“C’mon, she probably likes it,” he said as I grabbed his wrist, trying to get him off of me. “It probably reminds her of childhood. Did that man choke you? Did he touch you here?” I felt his hand brush up against my breast. Tears filled my eyes as he talked. I listened to JJ yell at Rafe and the other boys. I had to find some way to get him off of me, but I could talk. His hand was tight on my neck and I found it hard to breathe. I gathered up all the spit in my mouth and shot it right at his face. He let go of me to wipe it off, anger raging through him. He raised his hand high and slammed it against my cheek. A loud slap echoed through the room, sending JJ into an anger I’ve never seen before, even from him. I fell to the ground hard as a security guard walked in. Kelse moved to hide me from the guards view and then JJ was escorted out. Kelse tried to help me up, but I pushed him away. Tears were streaming down my face as I went running to my parents.

“I-I-” I tried to get the words out as my mom looked at me concerned. She asked me what happened, but I just shook my head. I wanted to tell her, but no words came out. She asked me if it was JJ and I shook my head again. Finally, I spoke. My words came out quite and squeaky. “R-Rafe. I need to go home.”

“Matthew, go get the car!” mom said to dad who went running to grab it. I walked out to the front of the building and hugged myself. I couldn’t stop the tears from streaming down my face. I got into the car and my dad drove me home, leaving my mom and Syd there. He asked me if I would be alright at home by myself and I nodded. I wanted to be alone right now. He dropped me off, telling me he loved me. I told him I loved him too and that I would see them when they got back.

The empty house echoed as I closed the door. I sank to the floor and cried as I thought about what had just happened. I thought about how that man did tie me up. He lingered too long and told me I was beautiful. He would smell my hair and kiss my forehead. I felt gross. I hopped in the shower and scrubbed my skin. Trying to get the feeling of Rafe off of my body, trying to get the memories out of my head. I threw on some sweats after I got out and went to the backyard. I sat on our dock and held my knees to my chest. The wind was blowing and the water ripped beside me. I stared at the black water and noticed how inviting it looked. I thought about how if I went out far enough, no one would find me for days. I would get tangled in the weeds and then I would just be gone. I shook the dark thoughts from my head. I knew I couldn’t do that to my parents.

“Adelaide?” I heard a voice calling. I could tell who it was by his voice. I felt tears fill my eyes as I turned to see JJ at the edge of the dock. He looked like he didn’t know if he should approach me or not. I stood at the end of the dock and he stood at the beginning. We were so close, yet I’ve never felt further from him.

“What are you doing here?” I asked. A tear fell from my eye and streamed down my face.

“I just wanted to see if you were okay…” he mumbled out. I walked closer, my anger rising with every step.

“You don’t get to do this! You don’t get to leave for two years and come back like nothing is wrong. You don’t get to yell at me for being scared of getting close to you again! And you for sure don’t get to kiss me and then walk away!” I yelled. He looked at me sadly. “I hate you!”

I didn’t. I cried as I yelled it, breaking down. I felt his arms hug me. I was so angry at him and yet I still loved him so much. I stomped on his foot, causing him to hunch over in pain. Then when he was at my level, I grabbed onto his shirt and kissed him. His hands found their way to my cheeks and deepened the kiss. It was passionate and electrifying and I needed him. Our lips moved hungrily together as the wind whipped around us.

Finally, we pulled away, gasping for air. He chuckled and looked down at me. He had the goofiest grin on his face.

“That really hurt,” he said, shaking his foot. I laughed for the first time in days and hit his chest.

“You deserved it!” I said, laughing uncontrollably. He was smiing down at me, the happiest I’ve seen him in a while. One kiss with him had made me forget about all the things that happened tonight. It made me forget about White Chapel and Rafe, Sarah Cameron and Topper. Nothing mattered, but him and I and this moment.

“You’re right, I deserved it.”

___________________________________________

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bucksbisexual · 4 years

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AAAAAAAAAAAAAA OKAY LAST ONE OF MY OPINION POSTS HERE GOES EP12:

[breathes in]

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

i’m so fucking happy with this ending

it’s such a good happy ending this is truly what the gays deserve i’m just happiness in physical form rn

i don’t even know where to start but i’ll try to make this as chronological as my brain allows me because my memory do be sucking

i’m gonna put a keep reading because this shit will get loooooong kjshfkf okay let’s do this

so.. we start with PETE EXPOSING NON(T)’S BRAT ASS!!!!!!!!!! FUCK YES THATS MY BABY THATS MY BOY!!!!!!!!!!

kao’s mom being a fucking badass and telling her BOSS how to do shit. i love her yall I LOVE HERRRRRRRR

also kao’s mom telling kao that she wasn’t the most amazing person ever was so cute because you can see kao’s light bulb turning on sjfkhsgsh please i love them

yes i will say i love x after every single one of these u can’t stop me

from the teaser i thought kao would dashi run run run to pete’s house but thankfully he took a taxi lmao

at least he didn’t run there because he had to run from pete’s house (or may i say, mansion) to the POOL my man is a whole athlete oh my god

KAO YELLING HE LOVES PETE!!!!!!!!!!! IN THE MIDDLE OF A CLOSED SPACE WITH PEOPLE IN IT!!!!!!!!!!!! AND HE DOESN’T GIVE A FUCK IF THEY HEAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THATS CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT BABYYYYYYYY

also a beautiful parallel to the scene from ep1 (i noticed there’s a lot of parallels in this episode we stan character development and repeating things just so the viewers can see how consistent the couples are)

the kiss from that scene............... beautiful amazing gorgeous idk many words in english to describe how i felt while watching and how i feel about it

to that i think we cut to sunmork but i don’t remember what happened because of the kiss KJHFKSL SORRY

anygays i rlly like how this whole episode is sun being a clingy bih and mork gay panicking while trying to act like a confident gay when he knows that sun outconfidentgays him i love them lmao

okay after that i think it’s petekao having food with their parents all together and god i looooooove this scene

pete’s dad being the lgbt ally dad all of us lgbt fellas with homo/transphobic dads wish we had will never fail to make me soft i love that man pls be my dad too

also kao’s mom :-(( i love her she respected her son’s decision on not coming out until he was ready even though she already smelled it (reminds me of my mom lmao) and was always there for him even when kao didn’t say anything :-(((((((((((

petekao bickering will never get old i swear i love every time they do because that’s so..... men it makes their characters more real

i know there’s a lot (not that much because i admit this episode was kinda short?? idk maybe it’s just me) between that scene and this one but THE SQUAD EATING ALL TOGETHER AGAIN!!!!!!!! AND THEM TEASING PETEKAO!!!!!! PLEASE I LOVE THEM

pete literally not knowing how to stop the audio and broadcasting live TO THE WHOLE COUNTRY that time when he told kao he loved him through the teddy bear...... peak pete culture

the fact that ppl love them and they have a whole hashtag on twitter makes me soft because usually when someone is famous in bls the fans hate the other part of the couple but in this one??? oh no honey we stan petekao in this household hate is not allowed it’s actually prohibited illegal

okay let me backtrack a bit skjfhsjf

OH YES I FORGOT!!!! manow wanting to talk with mork was so weird when i saw the teaser for the episode but after seeing them talk i was like oooooh okay i understand

sun saying “what’s your girl saying to my boy” is probably one of my favourite lines of this drama KLHSJFLF

rain reading their lips fskjfjsf and when mork said “fuck you rain” HIS FACE SKJFHKSJSLFJ HE WAS SCARED SHITLESS but also the end of this scene was so cute i love these three

i just did a bit of skipping through the episode to try and actual make an order out of this mess and the petekao+parents thing comes now,,,,,, anygaYS

then it’s more teasing between sunmork blah blah

then MORK SPEAKING THE MF TRUTH!!!!!!!!!!!!! quoting the actual dialogue “it’s my choice to tell or not tell anyone. i should get to decide”

OUTING SOMEONE ISN’T COOL!!!!!!! IT’S NOT OKAY!!!!!!!!!!! NO LGBT PERSON WILL EVER WANT TO BE OUTED!!!!!!!!!!!!! DON’T DO THAT SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

rain had good intentions but it doesn’t mean that it was right of him to do so

okay this got serious,, sun going to rain’s bed with not one but Two pillows when barely two people fit in that bed.... oh to be that iconic and carelessly gay

back to petekao because we will never get enough of these two (which is why i’ll probably watch the our skyy episode tomorrow just to cry over these fools)

it’s so weird to see tay being like this after watching him being himself in other things like the live lunch and taynew meal date and other things i’ve randomly watched during this week to retain myself from finishing this series in a night ksfjhsfkshlks

also kao helping pete shave and pete being like do u like my moustache or should i shave it for u my lord SFHKFJ the domesticity and just the feeling of two idiots being in love i love them with my whole heart

kao staying at pete’s house because it’s both of their first days as interns and kao!!!!! he works for pete’s dad!!!!!!! pete’s dad accepted him into his company!!!!!! i love them

also the bickering between those three sjfkhs “hello im pete im from thailand” “that’s all you’ll say today” THAT WAS SO FUNNNY SKJFHSKFHSFJSFL

THE MESSAGE IN THE TEDDY BEAR !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! KAO CALLING PETE LOVE PLEASE IM GONNA CRYYYYYYYYYYYY I LOVE THESE FOOLS

okay so the squad eating together is right after this but i already talked about it ksjfhsfh next!!

idk if it’s a big time skip or a small one but guess what!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MANOW AND RAIN ARE DATING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MY STRAIGHT BABIES YES I LOVE YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUU AAAAAAAAAAAAA

manow is so pretty and rain is so cute they’re both so lucky my bisexual ass is crying

pete being “angry” at kao being so handsome,,, a mood

but also.. pete being possessive was h*t

there i said it and i don’t regret it

random but i will miss kao’s annoying ass saying “about aboyz” sjfkhsfh

pete being like “i will have to give u more love bites (ffs gmmtv just say hickies we are all at an age where we know what love bites are) so no one flirts with u” and kao being like “bitch try me” sjfhksfj i’m loving bratty kao

also that scene turned into furry kao real quick KJHDKJFSHJF

okay now it’s: mork’s birthday party time!!

rain and manow arrive first and are the cutest couple around because the two main gays haven’t arrived yet (being gay AND punctual? not possible)

sun and rain fighting in the kitchen was peak siblings culture skfhksjf

mork being ready to leave his own birthday party with a stranger who also plays pokemon go just to have a battle................ dumbass bisexual energy

said stranger is eARN FROM 2GETHER!!!!!! FILM IS IN THIS TOO!!!!!!!! first the girl who plays yuri in yyy and now film who plays earn in 2gether is here too??? damn wlw keep winning (also headcanon: theyre dating/seeing each other because LESBIANS periodt)

okay petekao arrive and wont u guess whats their present for mork,,,,,, the mf TEDDY BEAR and kao rlly says that they should use it since theyre so lip sealed lmao

rain and manow literally gave mork a present not for him but for sun im- i love these two

MORK FINALLY SAID YES TO BEING BOYFRIENDS OH MY GOD DUDE U ACTUALLY HAD ME WORRIED THERE FOR A SEC

also sun being a whole koala and being a horny bitch is so funny sfhskfjskl my man has his priorities set

their last scene is so cute :-(( poor rain will have to live with this until he moves out sjfhksjf

oh boi the ending is near hhhhhhh

kao teaching his class an equation that ends up in i < 3 u is the most kao thing i’ve ever seen

also kAO IS BOOKED AND BUSY BABYYYYYYYYYY GET THOSE COINS HONEY

pete being like “u haven’t spent enough time with me lately >:-(” was cute jhkfjs my man is needy of kao and i understand that because have u seen kao? exactly

kao teasing him with not having forgotten the cup this time and pete being his possessive self was.. splendid

every reference to something that happened with non(t) hurts but also i love how they just tease each other because they know that now their relationship is stronger than it’s ever been and that nothing and no one will come between them

the scenes they show during the last last scenes :-((( BOYFIES!!!!!!

and i love how they decided to end the show with them holding hands in public

i would explain why i do but it’s 6:26 am and i’ve been writing this for at least half an hour already and my laptop is heating up a lot and im sweating because it’s hot in here so get down on the floor pipiipipipipipipi

kdjhkdfhs sorry im not sleepy this is just my brain without a filter it’s just gay shit and a big repertoire of songs

god okay that was my opinion on the last episode of dark blue kiss...........

needless to say that i will eat every bit of content related to petekao after this because writing this i already miss them and i can’t wait to watch our skyy tomorrow idk where but i will

i really really REALLY liked this drama and it’s one of the two bl dramas (not counting the untamed) i’ve given a full 10/10 rating on mdl because it’s THAT good

everything about this drama is just.. chef’s kiss i love it i will probably rewatch it when my plan to watch is empty but it’s a pretty long list so.. hopefully i’ll ignore that and just rewatch sjkfhslf

i’ll of course watch kiss and kiss me again just for the petekao, the squad and rain scrumbs because i’m sure that the petekao compilations don’t show everything

but yeah im just.. i love this show it’s been a rlly long time since i started writing this but i’m still happy because it’s so good and truly gave us a good happy ending and i swear i cannot emphasise enough how important good happy endings in lgbt media are!!!!!!!!!!

anygays im hungry and ready to submerge myself in the dbk tags, see u all tomorrow for my our skyy petekao episode version of this,,,,,

till then, stay safe ! bYE

#dark blue kiss #dbk the series #dbk #dbk reaction

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starblazerm31 · 5 years

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Head canon of both of your OC as devil version would their lover join them in their realm or stay behind?

You challenge me with my own OCs, anon. Well done. And you made me think dir-tay things as well below the cut!!!

Azalea

(honestly, Azalea wouldn't absorb the Devil's power. But this is a 'what if' scenario)

Lucio tears the Devil's heart out with his magical gauntlet. Azalea takes the heart into herself and transforms.

Lucio is terrified but turned on at the same time when he sees her new form.

She tells him that she could send him back to Vesuvia, but she has to stay here for all time.

Lucio refuses to leave. She was the only person who ever really gave a shit about him, why would he ever leave her?

Azalea is surprised but very grateful for his decision.

They spend time training; sparring each other, Azalea teaching Lucio magic and how to see through the deceptions of the magical realms.

The other Arcana eventually come around, and Azalea gives them an outsider's perspective on how they can become stronger.

And if they deal with mortals, for fuck's sake, read their heart first. Don't just jump into deals.

And let's not make deals against each other as well, okay? That's just rude.

Lucio is always by Azalea's side. But his collar isn't visible to everyone else. ^_~

Imalia

(For this one, I need to explain that Imalia has already made a deal with and is 'possessed' by the Lord of Nightmares, a black and gold Eldritch horror. She wears LoN's symbol on her headband.)

She and Asra boldface walk into the Devil's realm. They spend a while throwing shade at each other until the Devil decides he's had enough of them.

He begins to use his powers to crush them when suddenly he finds his heart sticking out of the front of his chest, held by a sleek black tentacle.

The tentacle leads directly from Imalia's back.

Asra freaks out. What did Imalia just do?!

The Devil's realm begins to crumble around them, and the Devil's body fades in a cloud of black smoke. Drawing the tentacle back to her, Imalia takes the heart in her hand.

She apologizes to Asra about this, she knows he may never forgive her. But she already possesses the power of The Lord of Nightmares; containing the power of the Devil won't be any different. At least everyone she loves will be safe.

Asra watches as Imalia eats the Devil's heart. In a swirling red fog, she transforms.

She gazes upon Asra with new dark eyes. But instead of red on black, they are gold on black with the goat pupils. The power of LoN has merged with the Devil's power. Eight long black tentacles fan out of her back, and smaller tentacles coil around her four new horns. More tentacles wrapped around her arms and legs.

She looks sadly at Asra and tells him that he should leave. She can make him forget her if it will make things easier.

Asra calls Imalia cruel for trying to cast him out. She has taken on far too many burdens, and this is one he will not let her carry alone. If she wants him gone, she will have to throw him out herself.

Imalia doesn't know how to take this. She thought for certain that he would hate her. Perhaps some part of her wanted him to hate her. Now she could never go back home. But she could never willingly cast Asra out. She loved him too much.

"Maybe Azalea will find us. She has the power of The Fool. She can get us out of here someday."

Imalia spends her days teaching Asra the secrets of the Arcana, and they traverse the magical realms together. They help the other Arcana regain their power, then chide them on being so detrimentally introverted.

On a personal note, Imalia thinks long and hard about bringing her father back from the dead. Vesuvia could really use him...but she decides against it since he would have to go through the same ordeal that Azalea did. And the thought of her own father not remembering her...that thought makes Imalia desperately sad. Best to just let him rest.

And OF COURSE, you made my mind go here. XP NSFW drabbles below the cut.

Sexy Times NSFW

Azalea

Lucio has no problem bowing to her. In fact, on his knees in front of her has become a favorite position. So many things happen there...

Like kissing her from her hooves to her thighs, then she spreads her legs and her taloned fingers weave into his hair while he goes down on her.

He's her favorite throne cushion. He sits on the throne, and she sits on his cock.

Her fangs grazing his cock while she sucks him. He's got a firm hold on her horns too.

That collar? Yeah, it's a cockring. A magical cockring.

She loves it when he straddles her lap while on her throne, and she slowly slowly strokes him until he cums. She loves to hear him beg her to be rough, but he only gets that if he's been very good. And let's face it...Lucio does like to be a little bad.

Imalia

Fanged nips to Asra's neck, especially his beautiful divot

Imalia sitting on her throne while she utterly ravishes Asra from top to bottom with her tentacles. He is suspended, tentacles gently wrapped around his waist, chest, and thighs while one tentacle strokes his cock and another pegs him. He reaches for another and greedily starts to suck on it.

Tentacle shibari. Oh yes.

Asra gripping Imalia's horns while he pounds into her from behind

The most intense stimulation magic Asra has ever experienced. Full-body orgasms.

#the arcana #the arcana asra #the arcana lucio #the arcana headcanons #oc headcanons #azalea nevra #imalia gabriev #azalea x lucio #imalia x asra #the arcana devil

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thecrazydragonlady · 4 years

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Pride Zine 2020 Piece

Summary: After travelling, Aria and Magnolia get a moment’s rest in a hotel. However, they’re still learning about each other and with it, comes some pretty open talks about identity. How does one classify a half-dragon anyway?

Author’s Note: Happy Wrath Pride Month everyone! This Zine was established by @kestrelmakesart and is available for free download at gumroad. There are optional tiers for some extra goodies. All proceeds are going to global charities. Please check out the hardwork of all the amazing creators who put a lot of work into it.

One last note, this is an original character story. Aria and Magnolia are the main protagonist for a novel I’m planning for my Dragon Breeder’s Daughter series. I hope you enjoy this small snippet from their world!

Aria sighed as she sat down on the edge of the bed. The heat was high in the village they were in; it was much different than the comfortable, temperate climate she was used to with her teacher, but that was a past, many days, and months now removed. Thinking back on it almost seemed like a dream. One minute she was training to be a town doctor. Then she was on this journey, trying her hardest to help her friend find her mother.

Who could’ve imagined that this was how her life was going to turn out?

Speaking of her friend… Aria opened her eyes and assessed her sitting on the windowsill, her tail’s tip twitching back and forth as her ruby red eyes scanned the ground below. A soft rumbling noise came from her throat. She pressed her face closer to the glass as something caught her attention. The two horns that protruded on both sides of her head, circling a bit towards her face, made a soft tapping noise as they hit it. Aria giggled into her hand. She wasn’t sure how aware Magnolia was of her cat-like behaviors, but it was always cute to her when she spotted them, especially in the calm moments.

The room they were in was pleasant. It wasn’t big but had two beds for the both of them, a table and chair for writing, a basin for washing, and that was roughly it. The walls were made of sandstone. The floor, a hardwood harvested from the odd trees she had seen in their passing. Aria was not sure what to call them, but she would be sure to ask. The door had a deadbolt on the inside, which was good for them since this was where Magnolia was going to spend most of her time during the day, just to keep her perceived unnatural appearance out of sight of the common people. It made her feel a bit sad. After everything that they had been through, this type of situation fit their current lifestyle, but she hoped that, one day, after they found her mother, Magnolia was going to be able to live the life of freedom that she deserved.

“I’m sorry that you can’t be in the sun,” she said. Magnolia turned from the window to face her. Aria looked at her with soft eyes. Magnolia shrugged.

“I am dragon,” she returned, “Dangerous if in front of humans.”

“Your language is getting better,” Aria praised. Magnolia beamed a bit. Aria reached into her satchel and pulled out her notebook and quill, documenting the brief exchange. Magnolia leaned her head to the side.

“Why write?”

“I’m documenting.” She smiled when the word elicited another turn of her head. “It means I’m copying down what just happened. It makes it easier for me to remember things.”

“Why write instead of remember?”

“Well,” Aria mused, “Sometimes, my brain does funny things. It can change what I remember so to be acc- correct, I write what I need to as soon as it happens, so I don’t forget.” She held the book up for Magnolia to see, and the half-dragon squinted at it. “See? I wrote down ‘She claimed to be a dragon today by saying, ‘I am dragon’. That way, I’ll remember how good your language was and I can figure out how to help you more.”

Magnolia’s tail hit the ground a bit harder, “Why she?”

Aria froze. She placed the book down on her lap and looked calmly at Magnolia, taking in the signs of irritation: the tail twitching, mouth at a slight angle, eyes narrowed, pupils narrowed like a cat, tiny wings twitching a bit. After a few moments, she asked, “Do you not identify as ‘she’?”

Magnolia huffed. “Am dragon. Not she.”

“Yes, well,” Aria started. The words were caught in her throat for a second as her head spun. How in the world was she going to explain supposed gender identity to Magnolia?

“Not he or she,” Magnolia repeated. “Dragon.”

Finally, Aria released her breath, “Okay.” Magnolia perked up.

“Okay?”

“Sure,” she smiled. “It’s how you identify.” She paused and the smile turned a little bit sadder. “Magnolia, I know you don’t like it, but I have to ask you something really serious.” She moved a bit closer, pulling the wooden chair nearby closer so that they could have this conversation. Magnolia allowed her. “Magnolia, there are some dangerous people in this world. You know that, right?”

“I remember,” the half-ling growled. “Circus. Bad men. Stole me. Hurt Mama.”

“Yes, just like them,” Aria confirmed. “However, there are people out there that are dangerous for other reasons.”

“Different… dangers?” She shook her head. “All dangers are the same. They hurt.”

“You’re not wrong.” Aria took another breath. “There are people out there that aren’t going to care that you are part dragon, like my teacher. You remember her, right? The nice lady I was with when we pulled you out of the stream?” Magnolia nodded. “But there are people that are going to seem like they don’t care about that, and they won’t, but if you say you are not a ‘she’, they will… hate you.”

“Hate me? For that?” Aria nodded.

“It’s sad, and pathetic,” she confirmed, “but cowardly people can be afraid of people who don’t always fit their ideas. Gender, the ‘she’ and ‘he’ thing that you don’t like, is one of those ideas.” She reached out and gently grabbed Magnolia’s hand. Aria could feel the heat radiating off the golden scales embedded into their skin like tiny metal plates, the claws gently brushing the skin of her wrist; there was a stark difference between Magnolia’s golden color and her darker skin. “It doesn’t make sense. Humans don’t always make sense. However, I’m telling you all this so that I can ask you if you would be offended if I used ‘she’ and ‘her’ to talk to other people about you? I want to protect you and sometimes, if we don’t know that person is going to be dangerous for that reason, it would be best if we used the ‘she’ and ‘her’ to keep you safe.”

Magnolia’s tail thumped again, “Don’t like…but understand.” She nodded. “May use when talking to strangers.” Aria smiled softly.

“Thank you, Magnolia.” She released their hand. Aria looked out the window as a small flock of birds flew past it, up into the crystal blue sky and white fluffy clouds. “One day, I pray that someone changes the laws and the mindsets of the people. I hope that people can learn to love everyone, no matter their type.”

“Speaking from sadness.”

Aria turned, surprised. “What?” Magnolia huffed again but didn’t divert their attention from her, ruby red meeting hazel brown; they sparkled with a wisdom that was yet to be voiced and Aria made a mental note to document her questions into her journal later: was it Magnolia, the human-dragon hybrid, speaking now or was it something much more ancient? Could she truly carry the knowledge of her parents as dragon legends often proclaimed? Would the dragon blood make her that perceptive?

“You speak from sadness,” Magnolia repeated. “You know.”

Aria sighed-chuckled. “You did much better that time with the sentence. You added in the subject at least.” She looked back out the window. “Yeah, I do speak from sadness. I know what it’s like, being attacked by people who hate you because you don’t fit their narrative.”

“Skin?”

“Oh no. That was thankfully not one of the reasons. My hometown was fairly good about that; I don’t recall anyone ever attacking me for my skin color or its condition.” Her shoulders slumped a bit. “In fact, nobody there hated me for anything that I am. They were pretty accepting when I finally was old enough to tell them.”

“Tell what?”

Aria looked down at the people. She spotted a couple passing by and she pointed to them, “You see that couple down there? They’re together because they love each other and what is traditionally supposed to happen next is that you’re supposed to be attracted to them sexually.” She could tell that the last part escaped Magnolia’s understanding, so she explained, “Having sex between a male and female is how more humans are made. They make a baby together.”

“No egg?”

“Well there is an egg, but it’s really complicated, and not important right now. I can explain it later to you if we can work on your language first. Okay?” She coughed. “Anyway, I do not feel that kind of attraction. I love people, and I have had relationships like that in the past, but I do not feel that need to make a child with anyone.” Her head dipped forward a bit as she looked at her hands in her lap. She squeezed her skirt as the memories came back to her, to the harsh words that were thrown her way after visiting the capital for the first time. “My family was visiting a cousin,” she whispered. “I had never met him before, but he was related to my dad. I was so used to the safety of my hometown that I didn’t think anything of it, when I explained what I felt to them.” She sighed. “They called me broken, told me that I was less than human, and failing my job as a woman. For a long time, I thought that I was broken because of it and I tried, I tried hard to feel something for someone, anyone, for years after that. But… I never could. I was a kid. They hurt me, a lot.”

“You are not broken. You are Aria. Aria is Aria. Aria is whole.”

She couldn’t help but laugh, “You’re right. I am Aria and I am whole.” She sniffed a bit. “I am better now. I promise. My teacher helped me to understand that when she agreed to take me in as her student.”

Aria looked down, in surprise as she felt the warm scales of Magnolia’s tail wrap around her left arm. Her little wings flapped a bit. She knew that this was one of a few ways that they showed affection; many nights, she had found them curled around her when they were sleeping in the woods or a nearby cave. Their tail was often wrapped around her arm. Aria closed her eyes, enjoying the warmth they gave off, even if it was already so hot in the room from the desert sun. It was comforting to be supported.

“I like you.”

She had to catch her breath for a moment, remembering that Magnolia’s “like” was not a normal human’s like. The dragon part played a role in this so Aria smiled, and softly said, “Thank you, Magnolia.” She stood, allowing the tail to gently slide from her arm. “I’m going to purchase lunch. I’ll make sure to grab your favorite grilled meat if I can find some.”

“Travel safe,” Magnolia chirped, another sign of happiness. Aria waved to her as she opened the door and stepped outside, pulling the hood up on her travelling cloak to protect her from the glaring sun.

#pridezine 2020 #pride zine 2020 #magnolia #aria #original characters #oc #the dragon breeder's daughter series #dragon's heir

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terri9274 · 7 years

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Taylor’s Unreleased Songs

This is me trying to coalesce some of her unreleased songs and how I interpret a pretty clear queer reading. I might do more than one of these, not sure. I’m definitely not a lyric analysis person but I’ll highlight the songs and some choice lyrics I think are very gay-coded and about her experience as a young gay teenager. Now, who could these songs be about you may ask? For most I don’t know. I don’t really know when most of these were written but most of her unreleased songs were written Pre-2006, prior to the release of her first album. So in that vein, some of them could be about her high school girlfriends, Lacey and Kelsey. Or an unknown crush or hook up. Okay, let’s get into this. Most of the credit for lyrics goes to AZlyrics.com. Most of the songs I’m gonna talk about are here.

“Angelina”

There’s some posts about this already around here and an amazing analysis by @that-curly-haired-lesbian here EDIT: This was written much younger than I thought. She wrote it in middle school in 2002(x)

“Being with my baby”

All is quiet in the world tonight Catching stars and fireflies The summer sings a lullaby With just me and my baby On the hood of his daddy's car Pass around his old guitar Bet mama's wondering where we are It's just me and my baby The world is spinning round Cause look just what I've found

Ooh, life's so sweet right here Ooh, keeping it young and crazy Ooh, just wanna stay right here Cause nothing's quite like being with my baby Driving home by the river side Wishing I could slow down time Taking pictures in my mind Both me and my baby The car pulls up and I'm home too late We didn't take that interstate Back roads was a better way For me and my baby The closer that we get Oh, I can't leave yet

Look at what we've found So turn that car around

This reminds me of “Our song” with the subtle-ish sneaking around and the mama lyric. Otherwise cute af song. What if this is about the same person “Tim Mcgraw” is about. She mentions summer in both songs. It seems like she wants time to slow like they only have the summer left like “Tim Mcgraw”. The whole car date under the stars seems familiar(and gay). What if “Tim Mcgraw” is about Lacey, her first girlfriend. The timeline of what we know about Lacey and her fit. Written in 2004(x)

“Better off & “Fall back on you”

Talked about these songs here (x) EDIT: “Better off” written in 2004. “Fall back on you” written in 2005.(x)

“Closest to a cowboy”

Snap buttons on a denim shirt Blue jeans and a little dirt That’s the closest you’ll see me Feet hanging out a pickup truck Crazy and a little rough Running free That’s the closest to a cowboy You’ll see me Before I met him I was so sane and grounded Before he taught me how to lie And crawl out the window I learned the dirt roads And I got my heart broken Cause that cowboy taught me how to cry And how to let go I thought there for a little while Every sunset I’d be a riding off with him

It was all a little Wonderful and strange But I’ll never look At a sunset the same light

There’s sneaking around again that is similar to “Our song”, which is important to note she wrote around the same time, like 2005, like most likely most of these songs. What is this is again about the same person “Tim Mcgraw” and “Our song” are about(x) Boyfriend Taylor for the win!

“I know what I want”

Don’t try me Don’t fight me You be you and I’ll be me They say I’ve always known What I wanted My friends and enemies Will tell you it’s true You will find out I always get it I know what I want And it ain’t you Your mum and daddy’s walls Are covered up in pictures of you You never met a mirror That you didn't look again into So sorry, don’t worry I’m sure there are so many girls Who love you like you do

Oh baby, don’t persuade me I know that you ain’t used to no So let me say it real slow

This song is badass and GAY. I love a Taylor song that’s feisty and self-assured and confident. It could be about a guy bothering her even though she has been so clear she knows what she wants and it will never be him(or any guy), especially not some conceited asshole who won’t leave her alone. I love this cuz listening I’m like “You go, Taylor tell him off that you’re fucking gay!” Lol. There are some myspace comments of Taylor’s that are similar the theme of this song a little that I was fascinated by so here they are.

Dec 29, 2005 2:44

Lil’ Kels.

hahahhaha

I looove love love your new pictures. You are pretty,

You’re right.. you better watch out.

Because I do what I want.

-T-

What if this song is at least indirectly about Kelsey? Am I losing my mind? Possibly, possibly. The poem really just reminds me of this song, but like a sadder side of the coin. Either way, this is MAN-HATING LESBIAN WITCHERY. I’m gonna leave you with some wise words from Ms. Leslie Jones that I think is appropriate.

“I used to fly”

I’m hopelessly lost with this song. Maybe a metaphor for hiding a relationship with someone, and they broke up? Its just so vague I really don’t know.

“I’m every woman”

This is a cover and its sexy and cute. Go, Taylor!

“Just south of knowing why”

She didn't have a reason to go, oh no She didn't have a reason to stay Either way she didn't tell anyone about her first ray of sun She looked at her keys and found a reason to run And time stands still when you're nowhere bound But I understand it somehow If I could drive all night would I find my peace of mind? Would it be a million miles of cold white lies And unfamiliar exit signs? I just drive on by, just south of knowing why I didn't really know her that well But I could tell that her smile was only something to hide behind She felt so out of touch, cuz she just felt too much If you don't know what you want nothing's ever enough

I don't have a plan, I don't have a map I don't even know if I'm ever going back I don't have a when and I don't have a where I don't even know if I'll know when I'm there

Female pronouns!!! Don’t really get what the songs about exactly except obviously she’s very upset(maybe because of the girl). Maybe she was with a girl for a short time and the girl broke up with her because she didn’t know what she wanted, leaving poor Tay heartbroken and alone in her feelings.

“Live for the little things”

One daybreak, one heartache Every once-upon-a-time That black dress, happiness Bubble baths and quarter lines

This is interesting. That verse remind you of anything? “ When you think happiness I hope you think that little black dress”. “Tim McGraw” anyone? Possibly this song is also about Lacey?

“Long time coming”

I got a lying smile I never put out for you Cause I guess I never felt like I really needed to And they say little girls have big dreams And nothing in the world was gonna come between me and you And it was a long time coming I waited half my life just to find someone like you I spent a long time finding out love hangs around after you walk out Not knowing it'd be a long time going They say it's better to have lost than never to have loved at all And I say, whoever said that didn't have too far to fall And they say little girls are so naive That wasn't how it was supposed to be with me and you

I've burned my bridges, had sleepless nights Washed my sins on the neon lights And I'm still not over you

What that? Oh, just the sound of my heart breaking. “ Washed my sins on the neon lights”. *coughs*gay. Reminds me of the Red album prologue actually. The Neruda quote she quote, “Love is so short, forgetting is so long”. Right, @theredalbumprologue? Sorry, absolutely could not resist. Gender neutral.

“Mandolin”

People there can't help but care About the friendly music of a guy Who's getting by from their applause He's got a song that moves along He's got his local crowd tonight At Angelina's family bar and grill He's got his heart on his sleeve The songs he plays just living free But who knows what goes through his mind When he plays a song it brings along Everybody saying Who's that guy who plays the mandolin... mandolin Oh yeah, mandolin

Oh he's the kind of guy Who never really wanted fame His feet are planted firmly on the ground He never wanted people to remember his name He never wanted word to get around That he found heaven on earth He's got his heart on his sleeve The songs he plays just living free But who knows what goes through his mind When he plays a song it brings along Everybody saying Who's that guy who plays the mandolin Oh, I'm the guy who plays the mandolin Mandolin Oh, mandolin

This song is a mindfuck! I was just minding my business walking my dog and then the last verse plays and ????. What kind of gay shit have I stumbled upon. I don’t even think Taylor plays the mandolin, but not sure. The whole, what goes through his mind when he plays a song is very interesting, maybe she’s saying “hey, I got closeted by my team so I can be successful in country music and maybe everyone doesn’t know who I’m really singing about and how I feel, cuz the whole my songs are my diary isn’t exactly me, its a persona.” At Angelina's family bar and grill, what the fuck, right @that-curly-haired-lesbian? I am confusion though, I don’t get how most of this remotely fits Taylor. BUT VERY GAY.

“The diary of me”

I’m a laid back T-shirt, blue jean, mood ring Kinda girl Hey yeah what’s the word on you Lay low I’m a mission rebel Angel devil Little left of the middle Sometimes I get temperamental But here I am an open book Turn the page it’s all the rage Get a look on the inside Oh what you get is what you see Baby you hold the key To the diary of me

This is like the song form of her public persona during the start of her career. Total boyfriend Taylor in full view. She clearly used to write before she really made it more openly about certain things that later she couldn’t really talk about, like it seems she rather not wear traditionally feminine clothes in favor of nice t-shirt. Yet what does she wear in public and for performances? Just something to think about. She writes lyrics like this in many earlier songs, “A place in this world”, “Tim Mcgraw”, “Diary of me”, “Closest to a cowboy”, “A Place in this world”, “What to wear”,”You belong with me”. Forced femininity AND being closeted and having to act “straight” is a nasty combination. The whole my songs are my diary was the inception of her authenticity problem because Swifties STILL think that they know everything about her and that she wouldn’t “lie” to them. Closeting is not a lie. This era she’s really trying to get the farthest away from that than ever. See the Rep prologue. She has been inviting speculation into the simple clear fact that people just see what she shows them and that things aren’t always as they seem.(x) But it’s more explicit than ever now.

“My turn to be me”

Something about me didn't fit into your perfect world I bet the bluegrass stained your smile You should use a darker color when you write on the wall I haven't read it a thousand times Maybe if you saw me for a second you would realize Honey I was trying so hard To talk, walk, think, stop Anytime you want me to Bend all my rules I used to let you choose Who you wanted me to be This time I'm flying free It's my turn to be me

Looks like she’s trying to fit into the mold of heteronormative standards, she wanted to be accepted. The straights think this song is about a guy she was dating that was very controlling, but through a queer perspective it seems obviously much deeper than that. Although, possibly she dated a guy for a little bit as part of her trying to fit in and she felt trapped and with all these expectations that were not her. Just an idea. Either way, this song is about breaking free from that toxic thinking and realizing the most important thing is making yourself happy. In other words, the rise a gayby boyfriend Taylor?! GAY.

“My cure”

I know we've got a lot to say Between now and forever But I'd be a game if you would play And not dare this to get better So all throughout the day You smile and walk away All I can think to do Is follow you If you ever leave I'll be crawling back for more If you ever need love I'm standing at your door I'll be sick inside if baby you would be my cure Wherever you think I am tonight Just know we're miles from a heartbreak Because in the blink of one pretty brown eye I'll be right where you are baby

Sometime along the way You took my breath away Distracted by the view I fall right into you

They say I need to see all the people out there waiting But you take one look at me And I know the mistake I'd be making

I know we've got a lot to say between now and forever

I LOVE THIS SO MUCH. One of my favorites that I listened to. It is such a soft gay anthem! Although, yes very adorable, seems she could also be referencing that a lot of people did and still do say that being gay is a sickness and unnatural(x). So it seems in this she is saying that she doesn’t care if people know or find out and call her things because “This love”(her queerness) is good no matter what they say. Gender neutral. She says pretty brown eye, so if that is accurate it can’t be about Kelsey(she has green eyes). Maybe Lacey or an unknown girl.

“Never mind”

Look at you Look at me Look at who we could be I wanna know who you are What you want from the stars And every time I look at you I can hardly say a thing My head starts to spin and it hits me then I love you And every time you look at me I could go crazy but I don't Say it but I won't 'Cause I'd rather be alone than lose you And all I really wanna do is be next to you But I'm too tired to fight And I could tell you now But baby, never mind All the time Everyday There's nothing I can do, baby, to make it go away So look at you And look at me And think of who we could be But every time I look at you I can hardly say a thing My head starts to spin and it hits me then I love you And every time you look at me I could go crazy but I don't Say it but I won't 'Cause I'd rather be alone than lose you

All I really wanna say is I need you, babe But how could you understand? What happens if you turn away and everything turns blue and grey? And I just wish I told you never mind And I could tell you now, but baby, never mind Yeah, oh yeah I could tell you now but never mind Yeah, oh yeah yeah And I could tell you now but never mind

This screams straight girl crush who she was friends with.

“Don’t hate me for loving you”

He walked around my life And made me blind With every single move He caught me staring at him Mad about him Little that I knew Love is different When you play the fool And all I wanna do is say Don't walk away now And don't rip my heart out Don't you make cry tonight Like you always do And don't hate me for loving you

Unrequited straight girl crush. She’s written many songs like this but this is this is very stark and explicit and just very gay-coded more than others like this, i think. Some examples, “Teardrops on my guitar”, “Invisible”, “Stay beautiful”, “Hey stephen”, “You belong with me”, “Don’t hate me for loving you”, “Never mind”. What straight girl would worry that a boy would HATE her for liking him? Thinking the girl you have a crush on would be disgusted by you and your feelings and totally reject you is terrifying and heartbreaking and something basically all lesbians can relate to especially when they were young. SAD.

“One thing”

It wasn't just like a movie The rain didn't soak through my clothes, down to my skin I'm driving away and I, I guess you could say This is the last time I'll drive this way again When there's nothing to say and I try to grab at the fray Cause I, I still love you but I can't Bye, bye, to everything I thought was on my side Bye, bye, baby I want you back but it's coming down to nothing And all you have is to walk away From the one thing I thought would never leave me, yeah The picture frame is empty It's black and white, you're smiling down at me I take your photo off the dash And back to the conversation I was so sure of everything we thought we'd always have I'm lost in the sound of it But here in the now comes in Seems like I'm becoming part of your past

And there's so much that I can't touch You're all I want but it's not enough this time And I can feel you like your slipping through my hands And I'm so scared of how this ends

Gender neutral. Has echoes of “If this was a movie”. SAD and gay. Break up:(

“Spinning around”

Not sure what its about but it seems metaphorical. Maybe her feelings for girls in a way make her feel cornered and caged, if I may. Hard to say.

“Stupid boy”

Let me know, how's it feel To be under my skin, wrapped around my heart Is it like anywhere you've been? And everything I do, I do it just for you So why the hell don't you love me? Why the hell don't you need me like I need you? Are you so far above me? Don't you know that there's nothing I wouldn't do? But I was just a toy, which you destroyed Stupid boy I have been looking in, trying to read your mind Give you the benefit of the doubt, every single time And then you walk right by, I'm screaming out inside Why the hell don't you love me? Why the hell don't you need me like I need you? Are you so far above me? Don't you know that there's nothing I wouldn't do? But I was just a toy, which you destroyed Stupid boy What happens when you wake up, to see that you've lost? You take one look at me, 'cause that's what it cost. I was gonna be everything you need 'Cause you're everything to me

No-homo and of course still so gay. Maybe about a girl who was just using her and didn’t have feelings for her or a girl scared of her feelings for Taylor? Very emo gay. Poor Tay.

“Perfect have I loved”

If you love me, then I love you Swear by the freckles on the moon And maybe this will be enough I'd like to keep you till I'm old But if I can't, at least I'll know That, baby, perfect have I loved Do you remember the stupid things we used to do Before September stole me away from you? The time we got your truck stuck in the creek 'Cause, baby, roads weren't wild enough for you and me Saying...

I used to see you by the bridge we used to cross I found the feeling of trying to get lost You would smile that smile that I tried so hard to forget It's hard to light a fire that I still haven't put out yet

Love was all we knew And faith was growing on the vines Words were all we had And for one summer, you were mine Saying...

Very similar theme and possible timeline with this and “Tim McGraw” which I think is also about Lacey. Summer times and september? Lacey was 2 years older, this feels like a twin song to “Tim Mcgraw”. I think the timeline fits. Such a soft gay anthem, can’t get over it. Gender neutral.

“Sugar”

What a thing to see What a thing to be What a perfect love, what a perfect home 'Cause every time she walks And every time she talks Is every time he knows what a perfect world he's living on But whenever he's gone and when she's all alone His heart goes out to her on the telephone And he says, "Sugar, how I love you How I think about you all the time" He calls her "Sugar" 'cause she's the sweetest thing Oh, she's the best thing he'll ever find With her midnight hair And with his favorite stare She's a southern belle, he's a rockout king When she looks around Oh, she knows she's found Such a perfect life, such a perfect thing

Oh, there's a reason for every season There's a change within the range of every heart But the reason and the season Seem to be right so far

AAAAHHH. We all know in many songs Taylor steps into the perspective of the boy to sing about girls. It just hit me much after thinking about this, that she’s doing the same but for an entire song! At first I didn’t really think if its personal, but usually with Taylor it is even when she says its not, so its a strong possibility. SO GAY. “ Oh, she's the best thing he'll ever find”, “Mine” parallel!!! Also, rockout king?? “king of my heart anyone?? Except in this case, Karlie isn’t the king. Lol. Who, pray say, is a musician?. She wrote it like that so no one would think its about her. GAY GAY. Lesbihonest.

“Sweet tea and gods graces”

Tire swings, summer dreams, honeysuckle on the breeze Whistle County creek Laying in the green grass, I was watching clouds pass Baby, you were watching me Cold barn struck bed, everything you said Slowly educating me I never had a lesson so sweet You can get high on a first kiss You can get by with sweet tea and God's graces You can love like a sinner and lose like a winner Nothing's shatterproof You can crash and burn and come back someone new And that's what I learned from you Autumn rain, window pane, looking how the leaves change Just like the two of us Still got your laugh, your ghost, your jacket Guess I loved you way too much But I'm a little smarter, my heart's a little harder But it's still soft enough to cry Cause I remember those times I remember.........

Saw you just the other day All that I could think to say was, "Hey, how have you been?" You caught me with that old smile Said, "It's really been a while, And I still think about back when.."

“Don’t blame me”, anybody? Getting high on kissing? Loving like sinners? Hmmmm. What do a lot of religious people call gay people again? Another song talking about summer. Lacey? Relating her experiences growing up christian with her queer relationships and feelings. Seems like she is very positive and accepting of her being gay and not struggling with religion in this, which is good. She said recently at a Rep secret sessions that she isn’t religious. Character development.

“Tell me”

It was something like a perfect start to This love yesterday but now who are you I thought I knew Your eyes how to know to look right through me It's like you forgot the words you whispered to me They weren't true It's like it wasn't you Could you tell me what did I do Because it can't be we're already through Did you sell me out for a fool After you held me is that just what you do What did you need from me Tell me Take time to realize I know That people change their minds But that was something I wished you would say To my face But you run away

If I had a reason or a simple goodbye Baby even a lie Yeah Yeah

It seems to me to be about Taylor and a girl, they had a nice night and then the girl got scared about her feelings and when into repression mode. She could be terrified of everything, including anyone finding out, her family, the idea of getting kicked out. So she decided to fully stop talking to Taylor or explain whats going on because she doesn’t trust being around Taylor. Just an idea.

“Ten dollars and a six pack”

This is about a person Taylor was dating who was bad news and who wasn’t really faithful. It looks like Taylor broke up with her. Maybe Kelsey?

“Matches”

I LOVE this. Gives me such “Picture to burn” vibes. I’m quite a slut for angry Taylor, sue me. “Truck on fire”, also reminds me of “Should’ve said no”. So maybe this is also about Kelsey? Badass song.

“That’s life”

“Love or lie, live or die I, well, I guess that's life”

That lyric caught my eye. Could be gay, not sure. Take it as you will.

“Thinkin’ bout you”

I walked into a chair today ‘Cause I was thinking about you Your face jumped right in my way Like lately things do Oh, baby can’t you see The thought of you makes a mess of me I walked into a chair today ‘Cause I was thinking about you and now I I can’t walk straight, I can’t talk straight I can’t think about anything but the way It should be and it could be And till you come around again I will be Doing what I usually do Thinking about you I get lost when I drive around town Thinking about your smile I always end up on your side of town And I don’t know why There must be something under this hood That’s got a mighty strong liking to you I walked into a chair today ‘Cause I was thinking about you and lately

Your eyes are the color of the deep blue sea The one that I go swimming in every time you look at me

I walked into a chair today ‘Cause I was thinking about you...

Gay ass hilarious mess of a song! She really is a lesbian icon. I mean how much more relatable can she get?? She’s channeling Sappho with this. Hahahaha. Clearly she ain’t talking about a “straight” crush. LOL. “Gorgeous” anyone? Ocean blue eyes? Haha. The song form of too gay to function.

“Thirteen Blocks”

Beautiful. Sad. She’s driving to break up with someone but she’s uncertain and hesitant and sad about it. Very well-written.

“This is really happening”

Beneath the chandelier of stars and atmosphere Tangled like the roots on the ground The windows opened up The wind is blowing and we're both not making a sound It’s like I’m melting on into you Give me a reason why we should ever move and Tell me You’ll never leave me and I’m not crazy and This is really happening That this is really happening Could this be better? You write me letters So you see me everyday You tend to treat me like My name is up in lights It really blows me away Lock me up in a dark room And I still can’t take my eyes off you

All those kisses up against your car For all those wishes on planes We thought were stars Memories like photographs Oh Baby,Here we are

Tell me You’ll always need me That I drive you crazy And this is really happening Oh,that this is really happening

The softest gay anthem! The pickup truck under the stars seems familiar again, doesn’t it? About Lacey? Written probably before “Tim Mcgraw” because this is the start of the relationship. If about Lacey makes sense why she is so wonderstruck because this could be all new to her. “This love”(her queerness) is good and Its how she’s supposed to feel!

“Til Brad Pitt comes along”

Do you remember the day I leaned up against your car And it started rolling down the street You screamed and ran after it And tried to open the door And it ran over your foot And I was too busy laughing on the ground to see. It would take Brad Pitt to leave you It takes five seconds to need you When I'm mad at all the lovebirds 'Cause they don't know to play our song I wish that pretty girls couldn't see you I wish that all your roads would lead you right to me 'Cause that's where you belong Until Brad Pitt comes along Do you remember the time we watched Carrie And you said it reminded you of me And I threw the remote at you And you said "my point exactly" And later on that night, under the neon city lights, You paid a homeless guy to sing a song to me.

You call me lucky 'cause I lose everything But I swear I'd be careful with it If you gave me a ring

CUTE. Another funny song, amazing! Taylor as Carrie? Hahhaaha. Funny that in the chorus she says “Our song”. Maybe Lacey again?

“We were happy”

When it was good baby, It was good baby We showed 'em all up No one could touch the way we Laughed in the dark Talking 'bout your daddy's farm We were gonna buy someday And we were happy

Subtle sneaking around? Gender neutral.

“What do you say”

What do you say, when you just know That he's the one, and you wanna go fast But he's taking it slow And what do you do, when he's next to you But he's a little bit shy Well here's something you can try Hey, hey what do you say We go walking down the river all together It's a warm May beautiful day And I feel like I could Talk to you forever With the sun shining bright It feels just like a day When everything's gonna go just right I know it will be a sweet memory For you and me someday What do you say? What do you see, when you look in his eyes There's something there That he can't disguise No matter how he tries And what do you feel, when you know its real And you can't sit still If you don't own up will yeah

My imagination's running away Just dreaming about What I want you to say

Another soft gay anthem! Taylor taking the lead because the other person is “shy”. *coughs*Gay. Adorable laughing in the end.

“Me and Britney”

This song is about Taylor’s childhood and still current friend Britany Maack. She played this at the Bluebird cafe. She wrote this really young, probably 13.

“What to wear”

Sixteen blue jeans, Abercrombie T-shirt Shoes, purse, hair tied back And you should see her She's got her magic Floating through the air

She wrote this song so you aren’t sure if its about her or a story but usually she is writing personally even when she says she isn’t(”You are in love”). Boyfriend Taylor again. She sure loves t-shirts.

“Who I’ve always been”

About her music career and hard work. Feisty Tay.

“You do”

She’s enamored with someone. “Boy, you got me like a shot to the heart Got me shakin' so bad, spilled my coffee in the car”. These lyrics reminded me of “Getaway car” and the shakin’ lyric “dress” and “So it goes”. Just sayin’.

“Your anything”

I bet you lie awake at night Trying to make up your sweet mind Wondering if you'll ever find Just what you want A home-town number one Or a California loaded gun But you know you only get one Or that's what you thought But here's what you've got [Chorus:] I could be your favorite blue jeans With the holes in the knees In the bottom of the top drawer I could be your little beauty queen Just a little outta reach Or the girl living next door I'll be your angel giving up her wings If that's what you need I'd give everything to be your anything If you want hard to get If you want... All you have to do is let me know If you want a bumpy ride Or someone with a softer side Either one'll be alright Just let me know Cause this is where it goes

It's not like I'm giving up who I am for you but for someone like you it's just so easy to do

Massive crush Tay. But thats very normal for baby gaylor. She got it real bad. Hard to say if it’s unrequited or not, doesn’t really say. Tay, you don’t need to change yourself tho! Haha

“Your face”

I heard a song tonight on the radio Another girl sings about a boy Just sees his face in every space in every room And i know that if i turn around you won't be there If i close my eyes will you be there? I don't wanna lose your face And i don't wanna wake one day And not remember what time erased And i don't wanna turn around Coz i'm not scared Of what love gave me and took away And i don't wanna lose your face I've got a picture of you in my bedroom And i hope it never falls And i hope i never lose that feeling I used to get when you would call And now i wonder to myself Who were you and where are you? Were you ever here at all?

That girl in the song had it so good I wish i could close my eyes and see you I wish the sky had your face And the oceans had your eyes And the sunset had your lips And i had you

Clever, Swift! Talk about a girl and boy outside of your experience for comparison so everyone would assume she’s also singing about a boy but in actuality totally gender neutral! Nice. She wants the sunset to have this person(girls) lips? Not gay at all...

“Wait for me”

Amazing anaylsis of this by @that-curly-haired-lesbian right here!

Finishing this long ass post just to further the point that her unreleased songs are fucking amazing and Gaylor Swift is a musical lesbian icon back then and of course still is! See you on the Gayside.

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workingforthewidow · 6 years

Text

Turn Washingtons Spies Fic

Strap in kiddos bc this fucker is well over 30 pages in Word and 11,000 words. Should I have split it into parts probs but I worked on this bitch for months so here you go. It’s Ben/OC with some BFF Caleb, Simcoe/OC, Andre/OC. And the others are here too.

Warnings: mentions of death/war/weapons/ lots of Simcoe hate. I the fluff queen wrote it so there shouldn't be anything to major. I did make Sky cry tho but she's emotional AF so oh well, it was happy cries I think.

This isn't a reader insert, I wrote it for my sister and I, so I used our names.

“Do you have to go with them? Can't you stay here? Please.” Ben’s grip on my hand tighten as if he believed if he continued to hold it and not let go, I couldn’t leave.

“I have to go back. I can’t let Sky and Papa go alone. They’ll forget to eat and sleep if I’m not there to remind them.”

“I’m sure they will be fine.” He was getting desperate.

“I’ll come back you know that. These months will pass quickly then you can come to Scotland and bring me home. Write to me and I’ll write to you. I need to go. Papa will question me if I’m gone to long. I love you Ben.”

“I love you too.” He kissed me once then released his hold on my hand and I quickly made my way back to where Sky and Papa were waiting.

“Don’t worry you’ll see him again soon.” Sky whispered to me as we boarded the ship that would take up back to what was once our home, Scotland.

Once the war was over, ending in England’s defeat our father, Major Hewlett or Papa as we called him, decided it was best we go back to Scotland and try to restart the lives we left behind. But so much had changed since we had last been in Scotland. We had all fallen in love. The two of them were sadly left heartbroken. Well sadly for Papa. Sky could get over her heartbreak - that guy was a jerk.

After what felt like a lifetime, we finally landed in Scotland. A place I once dreamed about returning to but now I wanted nothing more then to leave.

“Isn’t it wonderful to be home girls? I made arrangements for the house to be cleaned and ready for our return.” Papa said smiling. Both Sky and I put on a false smile for him. While my heart was left in America, she believed hers was in Canada but that was a lie and she needed to understand that he was a jerk and she could do better than him.

We arrived back to the home of our childhood. Everything was the same as it was when we left it years ago. Yet it was so different now. We each put our things in our rooms and settled into the sitting room. After a few minutes of sitting silence Papa decided to go out and check the land while Sky and I walked around the home we hadn't seen in a long time. Just as we started to prepare dinner a knock was heard from the front door.

“How are people already showing up? We have been here all of five hours.” I groaned and opened the door to find a postal messenger.

“Letter for Miss Taylor Hewlett.” The man handed the envelope to me and tipped his head quickly before leaving.

“Well who was it?” Sky called from the kitchen. I walked in with a smile on my face. “They must not have stayed if you’re happy.” She laughed.

“I got a letter from Ben.”

“What? How? Ships are not that fast.”

“He sent it before we left. Isn’t that sweet?” I smiled and read over the letter quickly before hiding it where I knew my father wouldn't find it. “I miss him.”

“Just a few months and you will be with him again.”

“Papa will never let me go. I imagine he’d rather have you married off to Simcoe. At least he was on the English side.” There was a time when I wouldn’t have worried this much. When Papa was happy with Anna Strong but then the engagement fell through and Papa went away for a while.

“Don’t cry Tay. You know Papa just wants what he thinks is best for us. He cares about us.”

“And what he thinks is best is not me being with Ben.”

“You don’t know that. Wait and see. Ben won’t be here for a few more months.” Sky tried to calm me.

“9 months 23 days. Give or take a day or two.”

“A day or two until what my dear?” Papa walked in returning from the land.

“Tay was just saying it would take a day or so for us to readjust to life here. It has been quite a while since we were here.” Sky quickly covered for me.

“Ah yes. Don’t worry. It won’t take long then things will be just like they were before that horrid war.”

-8 months later-

Life was anything but back to normal. Just two months after being back Papa met a woman named Elizabeth and married her just four months later. She was a nice woman, who Papa wanted us to call Mother, but she wasn’t Anna. Anna Strong was the woman I wanted to call my mother. All I wanted was to be back in America. That’s where not only Ben was but also Caleb and Anna.

“Taylor, are you okay?” Elizabeth asked over dinner, “You look a bit distant.”

It was just her, Sky, and I tonight. Papa had been called away to help research a newly discovered planet and would not be home for a week.

“She’s probably thinking about her Benji.” Sky said without a thought. I kicked her under the table and sent her a glare.

Elizabeth’s eyes lit up and she smiled at me, “Oh, who is Benji?”

I sighed but answered anyway, “His name is Benjamin or Ben. Only Sky calls him Benji. He’s… he’s my…”

“He’s Tay’s fiancé. He’s from America.” Sky answered for me. “He will be here in a month or so to take her back to America.”

“Your father hasn’t told me this.” Elizabeth said.

“He doesn’t know. I haven’t told him. I don’t know if he would approve. Ben was on the American side during the war. But Papa loves dramatic showings of romance so hopefully by Ben coming here and confessing his undying love for me again Papa will be swayed to let me go back with him.”

“And I’ll go to find John.” Sky added in once I was done.

“You mean Ben and I will hunt down Simcoe.” I corrected her.

Elizabeth looked at us extremely confused so before Sky could corrupt her thought I told her the truth about him.

“John Simcoe is who Skylar wants to marry. He is horrible man who has done horrible things and yet she still wants to be with him. He tried to kill Papa many times. Tortured my best friend Caleb to the brink of death. And has killed many of our friends and their family members.”

“John Graves Simcoe. And he is not all that bad.” Sky tried to defend him but it was no use.

“Oh right how could I forget that name. I imagine he chose that name himself because of all the people he has put in the grave. Do you deny that he did any of the things I just mentioned?”

“We’ve all made mistakes, he’s changed and he’s trying his best. He gave Akinbode his freedom papers and he’s working on abolishing slavery. Isn’t that good enough?”

“He. Tried. To. Kill. Papa.”

“That was before he knew me. He wouldn’t dream of doing that now.”

“Doesn’t matter. He has done nothing for me or anyone in our family expect for you. So Elizabeth that is who Simcoe is and you can probably understand why I want him gone.” I turned from Sky to look at Elizabeth who was wide eyed by this point.

“He seems to be an interesting man. I cannot judge him without meeting him.” She was always trying to stay on both our good sides hoping one day we would call her ‘mom’.

“Hopefully you won’t. Papa hates him as much I do and will never let him in this house.” I said just as a knock was heard from the door. I left the dining table and opened the door, it was the messenger.

He looked out of breath like he had been running, “I apologize for calling at such a late hour but this letter is urgent.” He handed me an envelope before making his way back to his horse.

“Who was it, Tay?” Sky asked when I returned.

“Messenger. Urgent letter for me. Probably Ben, he’s so excited to see me.” I tore open the letter and started reading. I knew immediately it was not from Ben, it wasn’t his handwriting. I read the whole message three times over not believing the words.

“Tay? What does it say?” Sky leaned over to try and read over my shoulder.

“He’s not coming.” I dropped the letter on the table as tears started to form.

“What do you mean?” Elizabeth asked as Sky took the letter and started to read aloud.

“Taylor, I felt it was best you knew this so you did not stay in waiting for Ben. He is not leaving America. He has taken a job with the government and he has no time to step away at the moment. Knowing Ben he has probably made promises he will come for you just a little late but I doubt that happens. I am sorry and if you ever need anything you can call upon me. Abe” Sky’s voice was burning with hate by the end, “Dammit Abraham. Tay, you know Abe is an idiot. He probably misunderstood. Ben loves you. He is going to be here.”

“But what if he’s not, Sky? I would have wasted all my time.”

“Don’t say that. It will be okay.”

Neither of us noticed Elizabeth had left until she returned with a plate that held fresh made cookies.

“I made these earlier while you two were out in the field with the horses.”

“And donkey don’t forget Charles.” I reminded her and took a cookie. “Thank you.”

“You’re right. How could I forget Charles. And you’re welcome. I know how bad heartbreak can hurt.” Elizabeth smiled and sat back down.

The rest of the week was spent trying to forget Ben and focus on Papa’s return. Once he was home he told us all of his time in the city and all the things he saw. It had been nearly two months since I received the letter from Abe and I had almost gotten over Ben until he showed up on our doorstep.

“I’m here to see Miss Taylor Hewlett.” Even from upstairs I knew his voice.

“And who may I ask are you?” Elizabeth’s voice also carried up the stairs.

“I’m…”

“Ben.” I ran down the stairs and went to the door jumping into his arms. “I thought you weren’t coming. You had to stay in America.”

He let me down with a shocked and confused look, “Why would you think that?”

I went back upstairs to my room and returned with the letter from Abe. “Abe sent this.”

Ben took the letter from my hands and read over it. He shook his head multiple times and even rolled his eyes a few times.

“My dear, why would you ever listen Abe? You know he is only capable of limited things. It is true I am late because of my new position with the government but I promised I would return for you.”

“You know I’m my father’s daughter. We Hewletts tend to over react at times. Like Papa will once he sees you.”

“Don’t worry. We can convince him.” Elizabeth spoke up.

“I hope so. Oh Ben this is my mother Elizabeth. Liz this is Ben, obviously.” I introduced the two.

“I’ve heard a lot about you Ben. It’s a pleasure to meet you in person.”

“It’s nice to meet you as well Mrs. Hewlett.” Ben smiled and bowed slightly.

The sound of running was heard through the house and Skylar ran into the room.

“Who’s here? I saw someone ride up. BENJI! Oh wait I’m mad at you.” Her smile fell.

“Not anymore. We love him again. Abe was being Abe and messed things up.” I laughed and moved away from Ben so Sky could hug him. “Now we just have to tell Papa.”

And as usually my father had the world’s best timing and returned home at that exact moment.

“Mister Tallmadge what on earth are you doing here? I did not expect to ever see you again.”

Ben and I looked at each other before Ben spoke up. “Major I am here to discuss with you a matter which is very important to me. Is there a place we may speak in private?”

Papa gave him a questioning look but nodded and had Ben follow him to his study.

“What’s going to happen? What if this doesn’t work?” I had no idea what Ben was planning and if he messed this up then Papa would never let us marry.

“Ben is a smart man, Tay. He will win over Papa and you two will be married in no time. Lets out and see the animals. You’ve haven’t seen your donkey in days.” Sky took my hand and led me outside.

“His name is Charles. Why can’t anyone remember his name? He’s not just a donkey he’s Charles.” I huffed annoyed but followed her anyway with Elizabeth following as well.

We stayed in the field for what felt like hours before Papa came out to find us.

“He is a nice fellow. Not what I expected from someone with such a close friendship with Abraham.” I looked at him expecting more.

“So should we be celebrating?” Elizabeth asked hinting towards an engagement.

“Has she accepted?” Papa answered and looked over to me. I smiled and hugged him before running into the house to find Ben. “If he did not show up at this time when did she plan on telling me?” He turned to Sky.

“I think him showing up was her plan. You know her, she’s blinded by love like the rest of us.”

-6 months later-

Ben and I returned to America shortly after our official engagement. It was wonderful to be back. I felt like I was back in my true home.

“Damn Benny boy I can’t believe you really convinced her to come back to you.” I heard the voice of my best friend Caleb Brewster.

“I really only returned so I could see you again Caleb, you know that. I missed my best friend.” I smiled and hugged him.

“Don’t let your sister hear you say that.”

“She isn’t here. She’ll arrive in a few months. That is if we can keep her away from Canada and Simcoe.” I groaned.

Caleb rolled his eyes and laughed, “She’s still hung up on that arse?”

“Very much so. I still think we should kill him.”

“I agree and we both know Ben does as well.”

We spent the rest of the afternoon talking and catching each other up on our lives. It was during this conversation I brought up Anna Strong.

“How is Anna? Ben told me Selah had returned.”

“Aye he did. They took the tavern back. Things are somewhat back to normal. She misses you and Skylar. Asked Ben about you anytime he got a letter.”

“Is she in the tavern now? I want to see her.” I wanted to tell her about my time away and find out how her life was going now. Caleb nodded and we walked to the Strong Tavern.

It was past working hours but we knew Anna wouldn’t mind. We walked in and saw Selah and Anna talking.

“Sorry we’re closed for the day.” Anna said without looking away from her husband.

“Even for your best friend?”

Anna turned and smiled when she saw me. “Tay! I didn’t know you and Ben had gotten back. It’s been so long.” She hugged me tightly before turning to Selah. “Selah, this is Tay, Ben’s fiancé. Tay, this is my husband Selah.”

“I’ve heard quite a lot about you, Miss.” True to the stories from Ben, Selah Strong was not a man of many words.

“No need for formalities. Just call me Tay. Anna I have so much to tell you. So much has happened and I need your help with something.”

“And what might that be?” She asked.

“Sky is still head over heels for that vile Simcoe. Her plan is come here for the wedding then travel Canada to find him. Papa and Elizabeth, she’s Papa’s wife, will be here but they’ve already tried to stop her and it’s not working. So I figure maybe if you try to talk some sense into her when she gets here.”

“Talk some sense into her? I’ll beat some sense into her. How can she still have feelings for that man after all he did?”

“She claims he has changed. I highly doubt that is true.” I shook my head. “I say we go to Canada, find him, and I don’t know maybe kill him.”

“I second that.” Caleb agreed.

“While I too agree, we don’t have time. Our wedding is only two weeks away. Skylar will be here any day now.” Ben added, I was sure this was Ben’s way of trying to keep me out of danger and away from Simcoe.

He was right though. There was no time to even come up with a plan on how to kill Simcoe, let alone get to Canada and find him.

We stayed at Strong’s Tavern until late into the night. When it got to the point where I was falling asleep on Ben’s shoulder we decided it was time to return home. Ben practically carried me upstairs to our room and helped me out of my dress.

“Where are you going?” I hold onto his hand when he goes to leave.

“I just have to finish somethings in my study. I’ll be back shortly. I love you. Sleep well.” He smiled and closed the door as he left. I fell asleep almost as soon as he walked out.

When I woke up the next morning Ben was no where to be seen. His side of the bed didn’t even look like it was slept in. I got myself dressed and walked downstairs. I found Ben in his study asleep on his desk. I stood behind him and gently shook his shoulder.

“Ben, darling, wake up. It’s morning time to get up.” He slowly sat up and rubbed his eyes. “And this is why I say you shouldn’t work late into the night, you always fall asleep here. Come on, I’ll make breakfast.”

We walked to the kitchen and Ben sat down almost falling asleep again.

“What time did you fall asleep?” I asked him as I started to make pancakes.

“I don’t know. Around 4 maybe.”

“Ben thats not good for you.”

“The thing he does that’s good for him is having you around. Oh breakfast I’m just in time.” As usual Caleb walked into our home like he owned the place and sat down next to Ben.

I laughed and sat a plate down in front of each of them. “You know Caleb one of these days you’re going to waltz in here and see something you probably shouldn’t.”

“Nah I’ve seen Benny boy without his pants and I doubt you’re bad looking.” He smirked.

I smacked on the side of the head, “You shouldn’t speak to a lady that way.”

“I didn’t know Sky was here already.” Caleb laughed. If Sky heard him she would have hit him too. She may be able to dress up and act fancy when it was absolutely necessary but she much rather preferred to be doing something like shooting a pistol compared to going to a party.

“She will be here any day now. As long as she didn’t run off to find Simcoe first. Canada is a big place she’ll never make it.” I noticed Ben and Caleb sharing a look before going back to eating. “What? What do you know? I know that look and I know you know something. So tell me, come on tell me.”

They looked at each other again and Caleb shoved a piece of pancake in his mouth before gesturing that he couldn’t speak while eating.

Ben sighed and ran his hand down his face, “We may know where Simcoe is currently. Word is he is returning here to get the last of his belongings.”

“I thought everything he left here was burned?”

“He had some connections left who seemed to like him enough to hold onto a few things.”

“So that means it will be easier to kill him? Ambush him on his way here. We’ll make it look like a robbery.”

“Sweetheart put the knife down. You’re scaring me.” Ben stood up and took the knife from my hands. I hadn’t even noticed that I was holding it. “We are looking at our options. We can’t just kill him out right. We need probable cause.”

“Probable cause!” Caleb finally stopped shoving food in his mouth and spoke again. “Probable cause! Benny look at everything he did to us. To our families. Remember what he did to…”

“I remember what he did. I will not never forget but it’s been so long that if for some reason we are taken to court they will find a way to hang us. I promise he is going to pay for everything he did but we have to do it responsibly.” Ben interrupted him. None of us wanted Caleb to finish his last sentence.

Before anyone could say anything the front door opened.

“Tay! Benji! I have arrived!” Sky yelled.

“In the dining room,” I called back.

She dropped her luggage at the door and made her way to us. Once she was close enough I hugged her tight. It had been so long since we had last seen each other.

“I’ve missed you. It’s been so long. Are you hungry? There’s more food in the kitchen.” I said as our hug broke.

“No thanks. I actually ate with Anna and Selah. I ran into them on my way here. It was funny at first. Seeing her without Papa. He and Liz send their love. They should be here next week. They left a few days after I did.”

“Really? That’s sooner than expected. The wedding isn’t for a month.”

“They missed you. You have the room don’t you?”

“Yes. We do. I’ll just have to clean the spare room. I moved everything out of the room for you into the other spare room. I guess I could move it all to Caleb’s room.”

“Caleb lives here?” Sky looked over to Caleb who was once again eating.

“No. He just has a room for those nights he’s too drunk to walk the extra few steps next door. He won’t need it while Papa and Liz are here. Boys clean the kitchen. Sky, I’ll show you upstairs.”

We left the boys downstairs and I helped Sky carry her bags to her room. Then we went to clean out a place for our parents.

“Why on earth do you have this much furniture? Why isn’t downstairs yet?” The room was full of couches and side tables.

“We haven’t gotten around to it. Ben had everything moved up here before we moved in so that the bottom level could be cleaned. He wanted to make sure it was perfect for me. We haven’t had a need for it. Come on help me move it. It won’t take long.”

We were able to move everything in a short amount of time then headed back downstairs. Luckily nothing was on fire. Caleb had a bad habit of almost burning down my house.

“Everything is still in one piece. I’m shocked.” I looked around for any sign of fire.

“Not everything. I broke a plate again. Sorry.” Caleb held up some shards of broken plate. “I’ll replace it after I finish helping Abe. Dumb arse still can’t get his door to shut properly.” He cleaned the final pieces of broken dish before leaving.

“Abe is still causing problems?” Sky asked.

“Abe is always causing problems.” I replied. “Now catch me up on what has happened back in Scotland.”

-One week later-

Everything was set up and ready for Papa and Liz to visit, the house was clean, we had plenty of food, and Ben promised he would keep Abe as far away as he could until the actual day of the wedding.

“Are you sure it looks okay? Maybe we should wash the windows again.”

“It’s fine, Tay. It’s perfect. Besides I don’t think they would care. I’m sure they are just going to be happy to see you.”

“And not Abe. You did tell him to stay away right? I don’t want him to upset Papa.”

Ben stood straighter, almost stiff, and looked anywhere but in my eyes which meant he hadn’t talked to Abe.

“Ben you promised. If you don’t talk to him I will and we both know that will not end pleasantly for anyone. It’s just for two weeks. Please go now. They will be here any day now.” I looked up to him with the most pitiful look I could muster up.

“Fine. I’ll go. Just know he probably won’t listen.” Ben said before heading out of the house.

“Where is he off to?” Sky asked coming back into the house after her morning walk.

“He’s going to tell Abe he isn’t allowed anywhere near this house or Papa until the day of the wedding. I don’t want him to do anything that might upset Papa. He’s done enough. Abe probably won’t listen but that will give you good reason to shoot him off the property since we both know Ben won’t do it.”

“I can shoot him? Really?” Her eyes lit up at the thought.

“If he shows up anywhere near here or Papa. I want everything to be perfect. As long as Abe and Simcoe don’t show up it will be the perfect day. Really we only need to worry about Abe. Simcoe doesn’t have any idea about any of this.”

“Right, of course. John has no idea about anything this.” Sky then went quiet for a moment which only meant one thing, she was lying.

“Skylar, what did you do?” I turned to look at her.

She laughed a bit and her eyes darted around, “I didn’t do anything. Nope nothing.”

I continued to look at her with a threatening stare until she broke.

“I may have written to John to tell him I was returning to the states. He doesn’t know about Papa being here. I just told him I was coming see you and to return some of his things I hid away.”

So she was his connection in the states. If she wasn’t my sister I probably would have killed her with my bare hands. I took a moment to compose my emotions before speaking again.

“Why would think it was a good idea to tell him to come here? Mail him his things. Or better yet burn them. Skylar, how many times must you be reminded of the things he did to our friends, to our family, to… Papa.”

“He’s different with me. He loves me. Besides he was just doing what he thought was best. When he gets here, I’ll have him apologize. You have to learn to like him Tay. What’s going to happen when I marry him?”

As soon as the words left her mouth I smacked her across the face.

“You know that if you marry that vile monster, you will be disowned. Not just by Papa but by me, Ben, Caleb, and everyone here. You will have no one but your precious John. Which is more important to you? The family that has loved and cared for you your whole life or a man who you barely know and barely have spent any time with outside of the time you were kidnapped. The one good thing that man did was saving you but he also tainted your view of him. It’s like you worshiped him after that. Had Caleb not been injured I would have sent him after you. But why was he injured? Oh because Simcoe was torturing him! I will admit he was able to hide his joy in that well because when I came to him to help find you he made no mention of having my best friend locked in a cell on the verge of death. I think you should take time to reconsider your affection for him before it is too late.”

She said nothing and walked straight out the front door. I followed her and stopped on the steps as she continued to walk away.

“Don’t come back until you’ve made up your mind. I don’t want to see you until you have realized what you really want out of this situation.” By this point she was gone and I was yelling to the wind. I went back in the house and waited for Ben to return from his visit with Abe.

“Abe wasn’t too happy about your request but Mary promised to try and keep him away from the house.” Ben said as he walked in. “I didn’t think it would be that easy but it… Why are you crying? What happened?” He sat next to me and wiped away my tears with his thumb.

“Skylar. She still has it in her head she is going to marry Simcoe. Did you know she was his connection here? She’s the one holding on to his belongings. I told her she needs to figure out what she wants and not to return until she had everything straightened out. If she gains a husband she will lose a father and a sister.”

Ben didn’t reply and I didn’t want him to say anything. I just wanted him be here. His presence itself was calming. We stayed this way for quite a while before someone knocked on the door. Ben stood and went to answered it. I heard the door open followed by the sound of hushed voices. Then I saw my Papa followed by Elizabeth.

“Do you know where she went?” I knew he was referring to Sky. That was probably what the whispering was about, Ben telling him what happened.

After walking for nearly an hour Sky realized how far she had gone. She had to be miles away from Ben and Tay’s home. She sat down on nearby fallen tree and thought about what Tay had said. Maybe she was right, Simcoe did do horrible things but he loved Sky. He told her many times of his love for her. She had never told Tay or her father but she had stayed in touch with Simcoe while in Scotland. Sky did not have much faith in religion but she could not doubt that there was someone or thing looking out for her since she was always able to get his letters from the postman without anyone in the house finding out.

She was so lost in thought she didn’t hear the footsteps coming up behind her.

“Sky, love, what are you doing here?” Sky jumped when she heard his voice.

“John!” She jumped up and hugged him. “I’ve missed you.”

“I’ve missed you too but that doesn’t answer my question. Why are you alone in the woods?”

“Tay and I had a fight. I needed to get away for a while and gather my thoughts. What are you doing here? I thought you weren’t going to arrive for a month.” Sky asked him while still holding him in her arms.

“I couldn’t wait any longer. I had to see you.” Simcoe broke their embrace and held her at arms length looking at her like he was trying to memorize every detail of her look.

“You can’t be here. If Tay or anyone else finds out they will kill you. You must leave. Please for your own safety.” Sky begged him.

“I am not afraid of your family. I am a grown man, a Queen’s Ranger. I can handle myself. Do not worry about me. I have changed. I’m not the same man I was before. Let me meet your family as the man I am now. It may take time but I’m sure they will change their minds in time.”

Sky thought it over and debated the chances anyone would shoot him. The chance of that happening was high if they had weapons on their persons but her sister had a rule about weapons in the house. The only ones Sky had seen was the gun Ben kept in a trunk in their bedroom and the one by the door. The only reason Tay allowed them was because they were the some of the ones he used in the war and Ben told her it made him feel better knowing he could protect her should someone break into the house in the night.

After her internal debate she finally made her decision. “Okay. We can go but if anything happens we will leave immediately. No killing.”

“No killing.” He agreed and took her hand in his as they walked towards Tay and Ben’s house.

Ben looked out the window and held in a groan. He turned and looked at me. “Sweetheart I need you to stay calm. Please be as calm as you can be.”

“I’m always calm. Why?” I walked to the window and looked out. “Oh Sky’s back. That’s great. I’ll set her a place for a dinner.”

“Do you not see who is with her?” Ben questioned as he continued to watch Sky and Simcoe walk up the path that lead to the house.

“I’m in the dinning room I can’t hear you.” I shouted to him.

The front door opened and Sky walked in with Simcoe in tow. Ben was standing in front of them within seconds.

“Skylar have you gone mad? Your father is here. Why on earth have you brought him here?”

Before Sky could answer, I returned from the dinning room. “Sister, I’m so glad you’re back. I was so worried something had happened to you. Don’t worry you didn’t miss dinner. I just set your place. Papa and Liz are here. They can’t wait to see you. Come now, dinner is waiting.” I made no mention of Simcoe nor paid him any mind. I took Sky’s hand and walked to the dinning room. Ben and Simcoe glanced at each other before following.

“Look Papa. Sky has returned. Isn’t that lovely?” I said as I sat down at one of the empty seats.

“Yes I see. She brought someone with her.” Hewlett replied through his teeth. His eyes burned as he stared at Simcoe.

“Papa I think you’re seeing things. No one else is here. You must be tired from the trip. I suggest going straight to bed after dinner.” I smiled and started eating.

Everyone else in the room shared a confused and concerned face. Ben sat down next to me and Sky motioned for Simcoe to wait in the sitting room. Conversation during dinner consisted mostly of Papa and Liz’s travel. Anytime someone tried to bring up Simcoe I dismissed them and changed the topic. At one point I even brought up a trip to visit Judge Woodhull’s gravesite just to avoid Simcoe. After dinner was finished and the dishes cleaned Papa, Liz, and Sky went to the sitting room where Simcoe was still waiting. I tried to follow but Ben pulled me upstairs.

“Darling, while I much enjoy time with you alone I think it’s important I spend time with my family while they are here.”

“What are you doing? You can’t just make him disappear by denying his presence.”

I went stiff and turned away from him. “I don’t know what you’re talking about Ben. I’m not denying Papa is here.”

“Tay, you know who I am talking about. Sky brought Simcoe here and you won’t acknowledge it. I don’t know why. Talk to me please.” He turned me around and held my face in his hands forcing me to look at him.

I sighed, took his hands off my face, and rested my head on his chest. Ben knew that meant I was close to breaking down, something I did not do often.

“If I acknowledge he’s here then I have to acknowledge that my sister cares nothing for my happiness or yours or Papa’s or anyone in this town. It shows that she cares about him and herself more than she does about us. She did the one thing I asked her not to do.”

“Sweetheart, she must have her reason. She wouldn’t do this for no reason. You know I am about as happy as you with what is happening. We must have clear heads and hear them out. Do you want me to hold my gun while he talks? If he says anything to upset you I’ll shoot him.” Ben was surprised when he felt me nod yes. “Go downstairs. I’ll be there soon.”

I went downstairs and sat in one of the empty arm chairs. I didn’t look at Simcoe or my sister who were sitting on one of the couches. Ben came down a few minutes later gun in hand. He sat next to me and turned to look at Sky and Simcoe.

“Skylar, please explain why you have brought Simcoe into our home even though it goes against the wishes of your sister and I.”

Sky’s eyes darted from me to Simcoe a few times before speaking. “He wants to apologize for everything. He is a changed man. Please give him give a chance.” She looked to Simcoe as a signal for him to speak.

“I have changed. If you allow me, I will show you I have learned from the error of my ways. I know I have done things to you and your family that are unforgivable but I do hope you will allow me the chance to prove I have changed.” When he spoke he looked directly at me knowing I would be the hardest person to get forgiveness from.

Without a word I stood up and left the room. I heard footsteps falling and knew instantly Caleb was following me. His heavy footfalls a dead give away.

“So, still wanna kill him, aye?”

“You know my feelings towards weaponry, right?”

“Well yes but by the way..”

“It took everything in my power not to take that gun from Ben and kill him right there in front of everyone. I don’t understand how Sky can do this to me, to all of us.”

Caleb pulled me into a hug as I cried.

“I don’t understand it either. I want him dead as much as you do. Ben feels the same. I imagine your dear Papa does as well. The only one who disagrees is your sister. Don’t worry though, this will be handled. I have a feeling things are going to change soon.” He promised as we walked back to the house. When we returned Sky and Simcoe had left.

Papa and Liz stayed up long enough to say good night to me then headed up to the room we had offered to them. Caleb decided to stay the night as well in case Simcoe had anything planned.

Little did we know then that Caleb’s feeling about things changing would be correct. Two nights before our wedding someone we never thought we’d see again was on our doorstep. It was late nearly 2 in the morning and it appeared I was the only one who was woken up by the knock.

“I am very sorry for the late hour but please tell me she’s here. I have to see her. I was told she was in town for your wedding. Congratulations. ” John Andre looked like a broken man. Which wasn’t that surprising seeing as he had spent nearly over a year in a prison cell. In all honestly he should have been hanged but Ben was able to get him a prison sentence as to not cause my sister the heartbreak of losing him. It took a lot of convincing but Ben was good with words.

Andre was her first love but he was chasing after Peggy Shippen leaving Sky to fool herself into thinking she loved Simcoe.

“Keep your voice down.” I hushed him and pushed him away from the doorway before stepping out and closing the door behind. “There are three men in there that are still happy to hang you.”

“Three? Besides your fiancé who else do you house?”

“His best friend and fellow solider, Caleb Brewster. And my father is currently with us. He wants you dead because you broke my sisters heart.” I crossed my arms as I spoke and gave him a glare.

“That is why I’m here. I want to talk to Skylar. All those months alone gave me much time to think and I realized Peggy is nothing compared to her.

Skylar is who I truly love and she must know that. I will understand if she has found another but I would still like to speak to her. If I may. Why are you smiling like that? Please stop it’s scary. How is your face smiling that wide? That must hurt.” Andre took a full step back from me.

“I will happily take you to my sister but it is very late. Please come in and rest. You can stay in the room intended for my sister. But stay quiet and don’t leave the room until I come for you.”

He nodded in agreement and I let him into the house showing him to the upstairs room.

I quickly returned to bed and prayed Ben was still sleeping. Thankfully he was and I didn’t have to answer any questions about who was at the door.

The next morning Ben took Papa and Liz around the town showing Liz everything and Papa the things that had changed. They had asked me to do it but I told them I was up late that night which wasn’t a complete lie. I was up late I just didn’t give them a reason. Caleb had gone back to his own home so that he could change clothes.

As soon as everyone was out of the house I pulled Andre out of the room he had been hiding in. I handed him a cloak and instructed him to pull the hood tight.

“I don’t want anyone to see you. Come, hurry.”

We made our way to the local inn and went straight to Sky’s room. It only took a few threats to the inn keeper to find out which room was hers.

“Breakfast! Time for waffles and chocolate! Just put it…” Sky’s sentence was cut off by one of the loudest screams I’ve ever heard.

“Surprise. He wants to talk. I know Simcoe isn’t here, I saw him walking towards town, so you are free to talk. I love you, sister.” I shoved Andre into the room and closed the door. I considered staying and listening in on what happened but decided against incase Simcoe did return. I did not want to have any chance of seeing him.

I quickly left the inn and went in search of one of my friends. I walked into the tavern and found Anna cleaning tables.

“Oh Anna, I have the most marvelous news!” I said in a sing-song voice before sitting down at the table she was wiping down.

“Are you going to share this news? Or make me guess?”

“I don’t have time for you to guess because you never will. You’ll want to sit down for this.” I waited for her to sit down before continuing my story. “Andre has returned. He showed up on my doorstep around 2 in the morning last night. He said that during his time in prison he realized how much he truly loved Sky and not Peggy. He wanted to talk to her and express his love to her!”

Anna took a minute to process everything I said before speaking, “But she loves Simcoe now? She gave up on Andre because he was chasing Peggy.”

“No. She only thinks she loves Simcoe. What she really loves is the idea of Simcoe. Someone who showers her with attention, complements her, doesn’t ignore her at all, is clingy. I could go on but you get the idea. Once she realizes where her true love lies she will leave Simcoe, be with her one true love, they will attend my wedding, and everyone will live happily ever after. Except Simcoe because he will be dead. Yay.” Anyone within five miles could hear the cheerfulness in my voice.

“Tay, your wedding is tomorrow. You think Andre is going to be able to win Sky back in 24 hours? Even if he does, Edmund won’t accept him. You know how protective he is of you girls.”

“He’s letting me marry an American rebel spy. I’m sure he will be happy she’s not with Simcoe.” I shrugged and looked towards the door that had just opened.

“I heard my name. I came to see if you needed my assistance.” Simcoe, once again thinking he owned the place, waltzed in and sat down. “Mrs. Strong, hello, I’d like a drink. Please.”

I could tell he added the please as an after thought to try and show me he could be polite. I scowled at him and said goodbye to Anna before leaving. I figured by this point in the day Ben, Papa, and Liz would be back at home. Thankfully I was correct and Caleb was there as well.

Liz seemed to notice my happiness and asked what happened while the group was gone.

“Well, shocking news, Andre has returned. He is currently confessing his love for Skylar.” I went on to explain everything that occurred the night before and this morning. “So there you have it. By this time tomorrow Ben and I will be married and Sky will not longer be in love with Simcoe. It’ll be perfect.”

“You got out of bed in the night to answer the door without me? It could have been a murderer.” Of course that was the part of the story Ben caught.

“Ben that is not the important part of this story. What is important is that Andre is going to win Sky back and Simcoe will be gone!”

“What are you doing here?” Sky’s voice was barely above a whisper. “Ben had you sent to prison.”

“My love the only real permeant sentence is death. I truly am thankful to the rebel major who spared my life.”

“He did it for me. It wasn’t easy but he figured I would be upset if you were dead.”

“Is that your way of saying you wouldn’t care if I lived or died?” He stepped forward and tried to take her hand but she moved a step back.

“Why do you care? Why are you here? Why aren’t you with Peggy?”

“The answer to all three question is you. During my time in prison I had so much time to myself to think about my life and the choices I made that lead me where I was. I realized that I did not love her but I loved you. My biggest regret was that I had broken your heart to chase after someone who would never level to you. She could never live up to your intellect, your wit, your beauty. You are the only woman I will ever truly love. Tell me if you have found another to hold your heart and I will leave at once and never return. But I pray that you tell me otherwise and I have the chance to gain back your love.” At this point he was begging on his knees.

Sky was in shock. She never excepted to see him again let alone have him confess his undying love for her. She was speechless. Her emotions were a mix of happiness for his confession, anger for the original betrayal, and confusion about her love for Simcoe. She truly believed she loved him but she also loved Andre.

“I need a moment. Please.” She was finally able to open her mouth and let those few words out.

“Of course. I will see if the inn keeper has a room for me. Though I imagine your sisters invitation to stay in her home is open. The bed was very comfortable.”

Sky laughed, “You stayed with Tay? What did Ben say?”

“He didn’t know. She was able to hide me away before he or your father saw me. I will tell you the story at a later time. Take time to think. I will return for your answer.” He simply smiled at her before leaving the room.

While Andre was getting settled into his own room at the inn Simcoe returned.

“You’re upset.” The simple words from Simcoe caused more tears from Sky. She had made her decision and now had to tell everyone.

“I’m sorry, John. So sorry.” She whispered and wiped the tears from her face.

“What are you talking about? What happened while I was gone?”

“Andre. He has returned.” She sighed and decided that it was best to be truthful with him, “I love him, John. I will forever be grateful for the time we shared but I must go to him.”

Simcoe said nothing but his face was a rainbow of emotions ranging from anger to sadness.

“If this is what you want, I will respect this decision. Tell your sister how this ended. That I didn’t yell or throw things. No guns were fired. I peacefully walked away.” He kissed her on the cheek and took his bag. “You know my heart will always be a shrine to our love. Should you ever need anything you know how to contact me. Goodbye Skylar.”

As he walked down the hall to the staircase he noticed Andre exiting his room. Simcoe looked at Andre for a split second before stepping onto the staircase.

After Simcoe walked by him Andre returned to Sky. She was staring out the window watching Simcoe walk away.

“My dear?” Andre stood behind her and put his hand on her shoulder. She turned into him and rested her cheek on his chest.

“If it isn’t obvious I have chosen you.” She felt the movement of Andre’s chest as he chuckled slightly.

“I figured as such. If you need time, I understand.”

“We should probably talk about a few things, like my father and future brother-in-law hating you.”

Andre agreed and they each took a seat at the small table in the room. The couple talked for hours even skipping lunch. It wasn’t until Tay arrived to see how things had gone that they finally left the room.

“John Andre you have given me the best wedding gift I could ever ask for, unless someone kills Simcoe than that will be the best. For right now though, you are the winner.” Tay clapped and smiled, “It’s dinner time. Come you need to meet everyone in a new light. Except Liz because you haven’t met her at all so clean slate with her. Come along hurry up the rain is starting and I didn’t bring the carriage we have to walk.”

Just as the first flash of lightening struck the trio returned to Ben and Tay’s home where the family was waiting for them. Once the introductions were down the interrogation started. All three men, Ben, Caleb, and Hewlett, questioned Andre on his motives and intentions. It seemed all his answers lived up to what they wanted and Andre was invited to stay and attend the wedding happening the next day.

We all sat down to dinner and discussed the plans for what would happen at the wedding.

“I think all the guest are in town except George and Martha. The letter they sent said they would most likely arrive late into the night. While I was at the inn today I made them a reservation.” A moment after I said this a knock came from the door.

Ben stood and went to answer it. “It’s a good thing you made extra servings of dinner, Tay.” Ben said as he returned with George and Martha following. I quickly stood and hugged them both.

“It’s been far too long since I’ve last seen you.”

“We would have been here sooner but an incident occurred that caused us to be late.” George explained as he and Martha sat down. “During the storm our carriage unfortunately hit a man. We were able to locate your towns doctor and he is being cared for there.”

“I wish we knew his name. I hope he is okay.” Martha added. “But that shouldn’t hinder the excitement of tomorrow’s events.”

We changed the subject back to the wedding and the unnamed man was not mentioned again. Shortly after dinner plates were washed and put away everyone went to bed. Sky and Andre graciously offered to show the Washingtons to the inn.

“Are you nervous?” Ben asked as we got into bed.

“A little. Mainly I’m worried about tripping as I walk. Are you nervous?”

“Not all. Tomorrow is going to the best day of our lives.”

“Such a romantic. We should sleep. The faster we sleep the faster we wake up. The faster we wake up the faster the we can get married.” We both laughed and went to bed.

The morning came quickly and soon Sky, Liz, and Anna were whisking me away from Ben to get me dressed.

“Stop fidgeting. I can’t curl your hair if you keep moving.” Anna ordered as she wrapped my hair around a hot curling rod.

“She can’t help it she’s excited.” Sky laughed as she and Liz worked on pinning their hair styles into place. “She’s just so happy to rid herself of the Hewlett name.”

“That is not at all true.” I stuck my tongue out at her and laughed.

“Are you calling me a liar?” She gasped.

“Well I ain’t calling you a truther!” I came back at her which sent us all into a fit of laughter.

After we were all done joking around and getting ready we made our way to the church. As usual I was very early. I had a habit of always being the first one to an event.

“Why are we here before the reverend?” Sky asked sitting next to me on one of the benches.

“One, you know I like to be super early and the first to an event. Two, Ben’s father is marrying us I’m sure he’s with Ben.”

The four of us waited about an hour before Reverand Townsend arrived.

“This is why you are so good for Benjamin. You will make sure he is always on time.” He chuckled and kissed my cheek. “You look lovely my dear. Ben won’t know what hit him.”

The guest started arriving and soon we were just waiting for Ben and Caleb.

“Tay, stop moving or he will see you. This is why the bride is suppose to be the last to arrive not the first.” Anna said as she pushed me back behind the back of the church wall. We had moved outside to hide me away before Ben arrived.

Finally Papa and Caleb arrived and told us Ben was ready and waiting in the church. Liz and Anna made their way in and took their seats. Caleb and Sky joined arms and started the walk to the end of the aisle. They had a plan to high five at the end and I imagine from the few laughs that they actually did it.

Then it was my turn. Papa took my arm and we stood at the door for a good minute without speaking. I turned to him and noticed tears on his cheeks.

“Papa…” I smiled and wiped away the tears.

“My little girl. All grown up and getting married. I’m so proud of you. I’ve watched you go from spoiled little girl who thought the stars revolved around her to one of the most amazing young ladies I have had the privilege of knowing. I am honored to be your father. Raising you and your sister will always be the best thing I ever did. I think I did it right. You’ve gotten this far. Benjamin is a fine man. I know you will have a wonderful like together. Even if you are far from home. Don’t forget your dear old Papa okay?”

“I could never forget you Papa. And I think you did a pretty good job raising us. Maybe not the best in the eyes of the King seeing as I’m marrying an American spy but you know King George is jerk and not here. Then there’s the whole Sky and Simcoe thing but he’s gone now. Hopefully. So yeah you did pretty great. Now we should probably go in before Ben thinks I ran off on him.”

The doors open and slowly we walked towards the end of the aisle. I looked up and found Ben’s sapphire eyes within a second. He looked so handsome wearing his uniform which was finally all cleaned up. As soon as we locked eyes he blushed. Once Papa and I reached the end I released his hand and took Ben’s. Papa kissed my cheek and sat down next to Liz.

“We are gathered here today to witness the union of my idiot son and this beautiful young lady he somehow tricked into marrying him. Really dear, blink twice if you want to run.” I imagine if this were anyone else wedding he would have taken his job seriously but the Reverend and I had the same sense of humor.

Soon it was time for the vows. I suggested just using the generic ones but Ben begged for ones we wrote ourself and I finally agreed.

“And now for the vows Benjamin she told me to make you go first.” the Reverend looked to his son.

Ben shook his head, “Of course she did.” He looked directly at me and took my hands, “I knew I wanted to marry you the first time I heard you speak. You were arguing with your sister about the war. Standing in the middle of town you acted as if no one was listening, including your father’s men who were standing no more than 10 feet away. Once I heard you say, ‘The Americans are going to win the war because they have better outfits.’ I knew I wanted to find out who you were. It took many attempts but I got your name and tracked you down. You were leaving Strong’s tavern and without thinking I took your arm. You turned and I’m pretty sure you were ready to kill me but instead you said “You have sapphire eyes. I want my children to have sapphire eyes.” I could on and quote every word you’ve ever said to me or even just around me. I hope to one day be able to quote every word that ever leaves your mouth. You are truly the love of my life and I hope to never be separated from you. I promise I will do my best to be the best husband you could ever dream of having. I love you.”

Then it was my turn.

“First, I didn’t cry just now so I win the bet.” I looked at Mary Woodhull who was sitting with her son Thomas. I rarely cry and she bet that I would cry at Ben’s vows. “Okay now I can start. I was totally going to punch you the first time we met. I mean really you should know better than to grab a lady by the arm late at night. Then I saw your eyes and I fell in love with them. It didn’t take long for me to fall in love with the rest of you. Someone once said “There are dreamers and there are realist in this world. You’d think the dreamers would find the dreamers, and the realist would find the realist, but more often than not, the opposite is true. See, the dreamers need the realist to keep them from soaring too close to the sun. And the realist? Well, without the dreamers, they might not ever get off the ground”. I like to think I’m a dreamer who has found my realist in you. I never thought I would find someone, besides my father and sister, who could put up with me the way you do. I know I can be stubborn and headstrong. Sometimes I jump the gun and get over excited over the little things. For a long time I flew too close to the sun and you brought me back down. And from what Caleb has told me I like to believe I’ve help you fly even just a little. Everyday I am thankful to have you. I love you with a love I never thought I had. I promise to love you with that love everyday for the rest of forever.”

Pretty sure everyone in the room was crying at that point. I can be pretty romantic if I try hard enough.

Then it was time for rings. Caleb took them from his pocket and gave them to us. I carefully slipped the gold band on Ben’s finger and then he dropped mine. Thankfully Sky was able to grab it before it rolled away and Ben put it on my finger. He looked up from my hand and smiled adorably.

“I now pronounce you man and wife. You may kiss the bride.”

Ben gently kissed me then took my hand as we walked down the aisle. We went back to the Strong’s tavern for a reception.

“Congratulations, you look lovely.” I heard Andre’s voice behind me and turned to see him and Sky together.

“Thank you. I am so happy you are here and not that other person who almost tried to be here. Thankfully he isn’t here at all. Who even knows where Simcoe is currently? Don’t answer that. I don’t care because he isn’t here.”

“Did you say a Simcoe was suppose to be here?” Martha Washington cut in as she walked up to hug me and Ben. George was off talking with Papa. “I ask because that is the name of the man our carriage hit last night. I saw the doctor this morning and asked his name.”

“Is he dead?” I said with such excitement in my voice that even Ben gave me a disapproving look.

“Thankfully no. He will live. Sadly they had to take both his legs. He’ll never walk again.”

“He’ll be fine. Let’s change the subject. Weren’t Ben’s vows precious? He’s wonderful.” Really I could have gone on about Simcoe but today was my day. Well also kind of Ben’s day but mostly mine.

The reception party went one for a few hours before everyone parted ways. Our immediate families, including Caleb, the Strongs, and Andre, returned to our home with us.

We were all packed for our honeymoon, we were gong to France for a whole month. Sky helped me out of my wedding dress into one more suitable for travel.

“Be careful. Don’t get into fights. Don’t get hurt. If anyone tries to hurt you..”

“Papa, you’re talking to me not Sky. She gets hurt and into fights not me. Plus I have Ben to protect me.” I laughed as Papa continued on with is lists. Liz was able to stop him and they both hugged us goodbye.

This pattern seemed to continue with Ben’s family before just our friends were left. Anna and Selah only stayed a few minutes longer before wishing us luck and saying goodbye.

Caleb hugged me tight, even lifting me off the a ground a bit, then released me. “I know everyone said this but be careful. And have fun. Bring my Benny back to me. I promise the house will look the exact same when you get back.”

Sky laughed, “I promise that I’ll make sure Caleb keeps his promise. Benjamin if anything happens to my sister I suggest you run. Though I will find you. I will kill you. Then I will throw your body into a fire.”

“I promise to make sure nothing happens.” Ben laughed causing her to hit him and tell him how serious she was.

“Sky be nice. Please please please make sure Caleb keeps his promise. I do want to return to a house not a pile ash.” I heard Caleb grumble in the background about not burning anything down. “Andre, I would greatly appreciate having you and my sister for dinner once we return. I would like to get to you know better and outside the military.”

“Of course. I look forward it. Have a pleasant trip. France is a beautiful country.”

“Thank you. Watch out for my sister. She can be a hand full at times.” After I made that comment Sky stuck her tongue out at me.

We said our final goodbye before Ben loaded our trunks onto a carriage. He helped me up before taking his own seat.

“I can finally call you my wife. That makes me so happy.”

“And I can call you my husband. Today was perfect. Besides finding out Simcoe was still alive.”

“I swear if you mention Simcoe one time on this trip I will leave you in France.”

“Thats fine. I can go find Layafette. I’m sure he would be happy to have me in his home.”

“You are the worst human being I have ever met.”

“Lies. I am the best. You married me. You had the choice so you can’t complain. You chose me.” I laughed and rested my head against his shoulder.

“Yes, I did and I am very thankful for that.”

~~A few years later~~

After our honeymoon Ben and I returned home to, thankfully, a not burned down house. Our first children, twin boys, were born a little over a year after our wedding, we named them George Washington and Edmund Samuel. Sky and Andre were in the midst of planning their own wedding, which everyone was very excited about. Papa and Liz discovered a new planet and were currently writing a book about it. Caleb was, well, still Caleb. He took his role of Uncle Caleb very seriously. For the most part everyone was happy, healthy, and thriving. Expect Simcoe because no one ever heard from him again after the town doctor stuck him on a boat to England. He might be dead who knows or cares. Not me.

#turn #amc turn #turn amc #benjamin tallmadge #caleb brewster #turn washington's spies #anna strong #simcoe #abe woodhull #abe woodhull is a soggy cabbage

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livingthroughchoices-blog · 6 years

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The Marshmallow Chronicles (Ch. 9: Race to the Finish)

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Author’s notes: Hey guys! I know I said I probably wouldn’t be able to update but guess what? I love procrastinating school so this happened! It’s been a really stressful week so it felt great to write. However, idk if you’ll like this chapter that much ‘cause there’s not as much interaction between our favorite idiots in love /: which is also why it’s shorter. But I did my best to make it (somewhat?) interesting. As always, thanks to everyone for reading, liking, reblogging and commenting! And special thanks to @starstruckzonkoperatorbat, @notoriouscs and @simplyaiden-blog for asking me to tag them! Love y’all <3

Rating: T

Pairing: Drake x MC

Words: 3861

Now this was a day Drake had looked forward to! He strolled along the marina, wearing a thin white cotton t-shirt, enjoying the gentle breeze tickling his face and the briny tang in the air.

Boating was one of the few things that made him feel like himself and, even better, he didn’t have Liam to compare himself to because he hated sailing so much. The corner of his lips quirked up as he remembered his and Liam’s first and only attempt at sailing as teens.

It had been Drake’s idea, of course, eager as ever to get away from the palace and stuck up noble’s taunts. Liam had agreed readily enough, though, after a day full of boring meetings. The King and Queen must have known, even then, that Leo abdicating was a possibility and had insisted Liam receive the same education. They might have hoped Leo would yield his position, in fact; it didn’t take a genius to know the difference between the half-brothers’ temperaments made Liam far more suitable for the throne.

“Are you sure they won’t catch us?” At thirteen, Liam was already very tall, but the usual awkwardness that accompanies this stage seemed to have spared him.

“Positive. My dad told me he would be training the new recruits today, so no one will even come near the marina!” Drake was even taller than Liam, and skinnier. He, unfortunately, did move with the clumsiness that comes from not recognizing your own body. He wasn’t nearly self-conscious enough to be embarrassed, though. Actually, he was a lot freer or somehow... lighter back then. He didn’t have that much of a chip on his shoulder yet.

Liam got on the boat while Drake untied it from the pier and hopped on after.

“You ready?”

Liam nodded excitedly. Drake unfurled the sails and set them off. He occasionally gave Liam, who was less experienced, instructions, which he followed diligently. It felt good to be the captain, for once.

The wind suddenly died down and they took the opportunity to dangle their legs off the boat. Taking in the view, they dipped their toes in the frigid water, which was a relief in the humid heat. They were still relatively close to the shore, but if they looked in the opposite direction, they could pretend they were out at sea, just the two of them, no court, no responsibilites...

“Drake, do you think I could be a good king?”

Drake turned to look at his best friend who was gazing intently into the water.

“What makes you ask that?”

“I don’t know. I’m second in the line of succession, it could happen.”

“Do you want it to?”

“I’m not sure... I think I do. I want to help Cordonia somehow and if I am not king, then what can I do? That is all I’ve been taught.”

“Calm down, Simba, I’m sure you could find ways to help even if you’re never king.”

Liam shoved him at that, laughing. “Fine, but you haven’t answered the question.”

“Shit, I don’t know, man.”

Liam grimaced and Drake continued hurriedly. “I mean, I can’t know, ya know? But if you’re as good at being king as you are at being a person, then sure.”

“You think I’m a good person?” Liam smiled.

“Duh. I wouldn’t be here with you if I didn’t... A good person for a noble, obviously.”

“And you’re not too bad for a commoner.”

The usual insult lost all its bite when accompanied by Liam’s kind smile, but Drake splashed him nonetheless.

“Hey!” Liam splashed him back.

This continued until they were both soaked and had swallowed more than their fair share of ocean water. They were so absorbed, they didn’t notice the sky growing ominously darker. Not, that is, until they felt drops falling from above.

“Uh oh,” said Drake.

They both immediately stood up, and Drake set about trying to turn the boat around. The storm was worsening by the second. Gusts of wind buffeted the boat and their small bodies, almost pushing them around. The sails snapped and flapped uncontrollably. Untied ropes flew around and the fixed ones were taut with tension. Drake tried hard not to panic.

Suddenly, he heard a loud knock. It happened so fast, he almost missed the boom hitting Liam and him falling to the water like a rag doll.

“Liam!”

Drake’s teeth were chattering, from fear or cold, he wasn’t sure, but he imagined it was a bit of both. Before he could talk himself out of it somehow, he jumped in after Liam, roughly around the spot he’d fallen. By the time he reemerged, Liam had, too. He instantly felt stupid for jumping in.

It’s not like he can’t swim.

They both got back on the boat with much effort. Drake hoisting himself up and then pulling Liam on board. They sat for a few seconds, panting.

“You-you saved my life,” said Liam between pants.

“Don’t be stupid,” answered Drake but a proud smile was spreading on his face, “it’s not like you can’t swim.”

“Still. You didn’t even hesitate.”

“Yeah, well, you’d do the same for me, right?”

“I would.”

Liam clapped Drake gratefully on the back. The storm showed no signs of slowing down, so Drake got to his feet decisively.

“Okay, Liam, we need to–”

At that moment, a powerful blast of wind caught the side of the boat and capsized it. Drake resurfaced and looked around for Liam, who’d fallen just a little farther. Drake gestured to him to swim closer. They attempted to right the boat, but the combined forces of two thirteen-year-olds were not enough.

Resigned to their fate, they swam the rest of the way back pushing the boat, hoping against hope they would make it back before they were missed. Sadly, when your best friend is a prince and second in the line of succession, the window of opportunity is pretty narrow, so they had a very angry group indeed waiting for them at the shore.

The subsequent scoldings and punishments were among the harshest either of them had ever suffered, but Drake couldn’t help but smile at the memory now. Oddly, the parts he remembered most vividly about that day weren’t the terror of the storm or the different, but no less awful terror of disappointing their parents. What he remembered most was feeling capable and brave, and like he was a good friend, for once.

He’d been wandering aimlessly up and down the pier during his stroll down memory lane. A low buzz had started growing louder and louder as more nobles arrived for today’s event. Drake sighed heavily, knowing that was all the alone time he’d be getting today. He looked towards the opposite end of the pier, where the suitors and Liam were being surrounded by the press. He caught a glimpse of Riley as she smiled brightly at the reporters, no doubt wowing them as she had done so far.

He hadn’t noticed he had stopped, but he found himself straining his ears trying to catch a snippet of what she was saying. All he could hear was the cadence of her voice, occasionally mixed with Liam’s, who was standing next to her. She then stood on her tiptoes and kissed Liam on the cheek. His eyes unfocused and he stood there, not seeing anything. After a few seconds, he became vaguely aware that something was bothering him.

“Drake absolutely loooves nobles! In fact, there’s nothing he likes better, except maybe mai tais. You hear that everyone?! Drake drinks mai tais, Drake drinks mai tais, DRAKE DRINKS–!”

He turned around furiously and slapped his hand on Maxwell’s mouth.

“Shut up. I do not drink mai tais.”

Maxwell licked his hand.

“Ugh! What are you? Twelve?” Drake said disgustedly, wiping his hand on Maxwell’s shirt as the latter laughed.

“Twelve and a half.” He looked at Drake confusedly. “Did you seriously not hear me? I was trying to get your attention for, like, a full minute.”

“I must’ve learned how to tune you out.”

Maxwell let out a great laugh. “HA HA! There’s that classic Drake humor, love it!”

“What do you want?”

“Want? Why would you–” Drake glared at him and Maxwell relented. “Fine, I need a favor.”

“What now Maxwell? I’ll remind you I already said no to being in your dance crew.”

“Oh I’ll get you someday, but it’s not about that! Well, it is a crew, but a different kind... The thing is our boat crew, uh, bailed on us.”

“What? Why?”

Maxwell mumbled something.

“What did you say? Speak up, dude!”

“Money troubles! We’re having money troubles, okay? Please don’t tell anyone, Bertrand would go ballistic.”

Drake shrugged. “Of course I won’t, man. You forget, I’m the only one here who has actually been through this.”

“You never know, nobles are just better at hiding it.”

“Yeah, I guess it’s easy to hide it when you already have expensive shit to show off.”

“Touché. Anyway, I remember you used to like boats so I was wondering if you could help out?”

“I don’t know, I haven’t been on a boat for a while and–”

“Pleeease?” Maxwell whined. “It would mean so much to me and Riley! She doesn’t even know about this yet, but she’s gonna be so disappointed if we don’t get to race.”

“On second thought, it could be fun to sail again,” Drake agreed quickly, or, as he’d tell himself later, reluctantly.

He and Maxwell boarded the yacht, getting everything ready for Riley. She caught up with them not long after. She waved at Maxwell with a small smile and then grinned as she spotted Drake. He came forward to greet her and tripped on a rope. Riley sniggered and he glared at her.

“Drake? What are you doing here?” She turned towards Maxwell, “Maxwell, didn’t you leave with Bertrand? And shouldn’t there be other people? Like... an actual crew?” She looked around the boat, as if expecting the crew to be hiding.

“Yeah, Maxwell.” Drake pushed him forward. “What happened?”

“Well...” He rubbed the back of his neck, stalling. “I have good news and bad news.”

Riley crossed her arms, bracing herself. “Tell me the bad news first.”

Maxwell sighed in defeat. “The bad news is that the actual crew dropped out... Something about not paying upfront?” He grimaced. “But good news... you still have a crew. In fact, Drake volunteered to help out!” He clapped Drake’s back.

“He ‘volunteered’?” Riley raised an eyebrow skeptically.

Drake smirked. “Maxwell begged me.”

“I thought I was rather dignified,” he defended himself.

“Practically in tears, actually.” Drake’s smirk grew wider as Riley laughed, her eyes crinkling.

“And you both... know about sailing?”

“I used to own several boats, and Drake is an excellent boatman!” explained Maxwell enthusiastically.

“From what I hear, you’re terrible with boats!” Riley pointed an accusing finger at Drake. “I just heard a story about a capsized boat from Liam that says Drake isn’t.”

“He told you about that?”

Of course he told her. He was surprised he was as disappointed as he felt.

Liam told it all wrong, though! From what Addams said, he told it like it sucked! I mean, yeah, it was scary but it was a cool adventure... Of course Liam would mostly remember how worried everyone was ‘cause he’s considerate and not an asshole like I am.

Sure, it was a good story that he would’ve enjoyed telling Riley... or anyone, for that matter, but it wasn’t that big of a deal.

“Okay, that was bad, but after that whole mess, I decided I’d spend a summer learning how to sail properly...” It had been a good one, too. He’d gone out with his dad every weekend, often joined by Savannah and even their mom, sometimes.

He looked at Riley seriously. “Trust me, you’re in good hands.” She smiled softly and he cleared his throat. “At least mine. Can’t speak for Maxwell.”

“Hey!” he said indignantly.

“Wait, what about Bertrand? Why isn’t he here?” asked Riley.

“His words were, and I quote,” Maxwell swelled his chest importantly in a convincing impression of his older bother, “‘Have we fallen so far? Is this what becomes of House Ramsford?’ And then he muttered something about ruin and reducing our name to rubble and then I hope he went to get a drink or something after that.” Maxwell shrugged helplessly.

Riley giggled. “Sounds about right. What about Tariq? He looks like a guy who could sail a boat.”

Is she serious?! Just when I thought she wasn’t that naive.

Drake burst out laughing, “HA HA ha ha haa.”

Riley scowled at him which only made him laugh harder. “It was only a thought.”

Drake clutched his middle, breathing deeply, and slowly stopped laughing. “Yeah, yeah. I’m sorry to say, Addams, you’re not going to be cruising around like the other ladies. You’re going to have to do some work to help us win. I hope you’re up to the job.”

Riley put her hands on her hips at this, challenging. “Drake, only if YOU can keep up.”

Drake raised an eyebrow. “You’re on, Addams.”

Drake bustled around the boat, tying the last ropes before untying the yacht from the pier.

“Casting off!”

He unfurled the sails and automatically turned his head to see if Riley had been looking. It might have been his ego, but he thought her smile seemed like she was impressed. His chest felt warm.

From their right, Hana waved at them and shouted, “Good luck to you both!”

Both? Oh, ugh.

Olivia’s boat was to their left. She replied with, “I don’t need luck. I know I’m going to win! I hope you both like losing!”

Great comeback. What an idiot.

He rolled his eyes at Riley, who shook her head sympathetically. She got a determined look on her face. “Maxwell, how do we win this thing?”

Maxwell cheered and Drake wondered at her, feeling almost as proud as if they’d already won the race. “Riley, you’ll be watching the wind indicator for us. Whenever it shifts, tell us, so we can adjust the sails.”

Riley nodded competently and Drake added, “We’ll tell you what else needs to be done as it comes.”

“Sounds doable...” She gave him a small smile that wanted to be confident. He returned it, hoping to reassure her.

Maxwell looked toward the pier, where King Constantine stood with the royal family and the press. “Looks like the race is about to start!”

“Racers, ready!” King Constantine boomed. He put his arm up, pistol in hand.

"Here we go...” Drake said. Riley grabbed his arm and shook it in anticipation. He chuckled. He was about to ruffle her hair when the sound of a gunshot tore through the charged atmosphere.

They barely heard King Constantine’s “And go!” as they all hurried to their posts. Olivia’s boat was off faster than he cared for, but he trusted his skills, if not his companions’.

Slow and steady wins the race.

He realized he was staring at Riley and shook his head, continuing his tasks.

Olivia yelled back at them, “I’ll be waiting at the finish line!”

“Hell no. No way carrot top is beating us.”

"NO WAY,” Riley echoed and fist-bumped him. He laughed a little.

What a dork.

“Hold it steady,” Drake reminded her.

“The wind changed!” Riley shouted.

“Adjusting sails!” Maxwell called back. He did so then went to Riley. “Hey, Riley, tie this down for us! We need to hold the sail in place!”

“Oh, um, okay,” she said half excited, half nervous.

Drake kept a discreet eye on her, not wanting her to think he didn’t trust her to do it right, but also wanting to stay in the race. He shouldn’t have worried, of course; Riley tied the rope with a sturdy sailor’s knot and stepped back to survey her work with a self-satisfied smirk on her face.

“Perfect.”

“It’s okay. Barely in the top five knots I’ve seen in my life,” Drake teased.

“What! I think it’s amazing! But I guess you could say it’s... knot bad,” she replied with a cheesy smile. “Get it?”

“God, Addams!” He shook his head at her, only just keeping his laughter in. “That was terrible! You’ve been spending too much time with Maxwell!”

“Well, you’re never around!” she said reproachfully.

He opened his mouth to reply, though he had no idea what to say to that.

Does she want to spend more time with me?

He was saved by Maxwell, who suddenly yelled from up front, “There’s the halfway point! We just have to turn around the buoy and head back to the finish line!”

Drake whipped his head to the front and realized, “We’re coming in too fast! Brace yourself!”

The boat turned sharply to the right, skimming the water. Drake saw Maxwell grab on to a rope and did the same. He turned to look at Riley anxiously, but she seemed to have an iron grip on the rigging, and he felt his breath return. The boat righted itself and they smoothly circumvented the buoy.

Riley let out a sigh of relief. Drake gave her a soft pat in the back and encouraged her, “Let’s keep going. We’re almost there.”

“Wind’s picking up in our favor!” Maxwell informed them.

“Back to stations!” Drake barked. “Addams, secure the jib.”

“And that means to...?” she bit her lip uncertainly and Drake softened his tone.

“Catch the wind coming from behind us!”

“Aye, aye, captain,” she saluted him and followed his instructions, allowing them to finally overtake Olivia’s boat.

“What?!” Drake heard her say. “Make the boat go faster!” she yelled at her crew, to no avail. Their boat had picked up an unstoppable momentum and it would’ve taken a miracle to overtake them. They crossed the finish line with a comfortable lead.

“We did it!” Riley cheered, jumping up and down.

“Wooohooo!!!” Maxwell ran around the yacht with his arms in the air.

“You really pulled through for us, Addams,” Drake said, giving her a one-armed friendly hug. She pushed him off to hug him from the front enthusiastically.

Well, what the hell.

He hugged her back and lifted her off the ground. He heard clapping and saw King Constantine and Liam waiting for them on the pier. He put Riley down so fast she almost fell down.

He cleared his throat again. “Um, nice work.”

“Yeah, you too. I mean, I couldn’t– we couldn’t have done it without you.”

He nodded at her and gestured for her to get off the boat first. She made a beeline towards Liam. After a short conversation, she left with Hana, while Liam made his way over to him.

“Where’s Maxwell?”

“I think he went to go talk to Bertrand or something.”

“That was some sailing, my friend.” Liam claps him on the back.

“Thanks. I’ve definitely improved since we were kids, huh? Addams thought I’d still be as bad.”

They start walking together towards the royal yacht to see the regatta.

“Ha, well of course you have! I hope you didn’t mind I told her that story, I was just explaining why I don’t care for boats.”

“Oh. That story is the reason you don’t like sailing?” Drake tried to keep the hurt from his voice.

Liam put his hand on his shoulder.

Damn it, he knows me too well.

“I didn’t mean it that way, Drake. It’s actually one of my fondest memories! We were having such a good time before the storm... And it serves as a reminder of why you are my best friend.”

“You need reminders, huh?”

“Constantly, when you’re being a pain in my... rear.”

“Oh, come on, man! Just say it once!”

“I won’t! You know how I have to watch what I say! Even more so now...” Liam grimaced and stopped abruptly, staring pensively at his feet.

“What do you mean now?”

“Are you joking?”

“I mean, unless I suddenly became Tariq and lost all sense of humor, no. What kind of joke would that be?”

They resumed walking.

“Did you not hear my father’s announcement?”

“Nope.”

Liam shook his head at him. “Well, the main point of it was that he is abdicating once the social season is over.”

“WHAT! But that’s so soon! So does that mean–?”

“Yes. I will be king that soon and I am no longer choosing a wife that’ll someday be queen. I am choosing our immediate queen.”

“Shit.” That was really all Drake could say.

King. That is a tall fucking order. You could not pay me enough to do it, man. Nothing in the world could make me want to be a noble. Not now, not ever. On the other hand, all these girls are gonna be throwing themselves at Liam even more now.

He cracked his knuckles, feeling the urge to punch something.

“I was hoping you’d have more to say...” prompted Liam. Drake realized he’d been quiet for way too long. They arrived at the yacht, which allowed Drake to stall a little longer. As soon as they were on, though, Liam was looking expectantly at him, not even glancing at the race, which was starting.

“I mean, what do you want me to say, man? You seem overwhelmed, but I know this is what you want. So just hold on to that, okay? You can finally help Cordonia, like you’ve always wanted.”

“Right, but what about the suitors?”

“What about them?”

“Now that it is not hypothetical anymore, I believe more than ever I have to put Cordonia’s interests before my heart’s wishes...”

“Well...” The words didn’t seem to want to leave Drake’s mouth, so it took him a second to wrest them out. “What if you could do both?”

“What are you saying?”

“Look, we all know you care about Riley, okay? And like I said the other day, she would make a decent– no, scratch that, a helluva queen. So there you go.”

A waiter passed bearing drinks and Drake blindly snatched two. He’d already drank half of the first in one gulp, when he became aware that the normal thing to do would be to give Liam the second one. He parted with it unwillingly.

“Thank you. And you’re right, as usual. I do not think it’s as simple as that, but there is hope. I just wish there was some way to show her how much she means to me, without giving too much away before the season’s over...”

Liam snapped his fingers. “I’ve got it! The beach party!”

“What about it?” asked Drake monotonously.

“We could ask the chefs to serve something American, to remind her of home and make her feel more at ease. The problem is... what?”

Drake instantly remembered one of Riley’s truths in Two Truths and a Lie being that sloppy joes were her favorite American dish. “Uh, I’m sure I could think of something... You know, being half American and all.”

“Of course! Thank you, Drake! Once again, you’ve helped me more than you know. Someday I’ll have to repay you for everything you’ve done for me.”

Drake waved his thanks aside and strode cheerfully towards the exit.

#trr #the royal romance #drake walker #drake x mc #prince liam #hana lee #maxwell beaumont #playchoices #choices #pixelberry #pb #fanfic #ch 9 #the marshmallow chronicles #can you tell idk shit about sailing? lol #long post

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franeridart · 7 years

Note

Your colors lately are even more beautiful!!! Your art is amazing!

AHHHH thank you!!! so much!!!!!! I have, admittedly, finally been putting more effort into them haha it’s good to know it’s noticeable! ;;

Anon said:My dude, I want to own Bakugou's shirt in that Kamino squad drawing

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! happy you liked it!!!!! :D

Anon said:What do you think of Kaminari x Ibara or Toga x Twice?

I don’t really have strong feelings about either, honestly :O but the only person I really ship Ibara with is Tetsu, and I can’t say I’m much into villain-shipping in general

Anon said:Have you read Sweater Weather by crispykrimi?

Nope, I don’t really read tddk fics, sorry ^^’’

Anon said:Do you think kirishima goes to izuku and they talk about their relationships?

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmm honestly, while I realize that Kiri and Deku are on friendly terms, given canon I’d say if Kirishima needs to talk to anyone about stuff he’s gonna go to either Baku, Kami, Sero, Tokoyami or Mina, since those are the people we’ve seen him open up to, in canon! Same goes for Deku, if he gotta open up to someone it’s gonna be Iida, Todoroki or Uraraka :0 well, it’s not like it’s impossible for them to talk about it, but I can see it happen more in a possible future where they’ve grown closer than they are atm in canon! At least imho haha

Anon said:I just wanna say that I’ve been following you for a pretty long time (since the tattoo au was just starting I think) and you’re art just continues to improve and look amazing as time goes on. I’ve always loved it but these past couple days I saw some of ur recent stuff and was just blown away bc it looks so good. Thanks for drawing and sharing ur art w us, I love seeing it!! I hope u have a good day!!!

THAT SURE IS A LONG TIME!!! I’m so happy to hear you stuck around that long aaahhhhhh ;; and thank you so so so much for the compliment, oh my god!!

Anon said:have you ever considered kiribaku getting hit by someone w/ a body-swapping quirk?

I have! It’s a trope I find real funny - but I’ve also seen a whole lot of art/fics for that topic already, would people even seriously be interested in seeing more? It looks like the type of thing that’s gonna come out more or less always the same, which is why I never really bothered to draw out my ideas haha

Anon said:Your kids!au makes me wanna write so bad.

THAT’S GOOD!!! Inspiring people is the best thing I could ever ask for!!!! (...remember to credit back to the post if you use any of my ideas tho ;; pls)

Anon said:Aaaaaaaahhhhhh!!! I love love love looovee the kiribaku kids!!!!!!!!! Nnnnnnnnnnnnnnn!!!

THANK YOU!!!! I’m super happy you like themmm!!!!!

Anon said:Hey:) just wanted to leave you a note to let you know how much i adore the way you draw Tamaki. Of course I love your kiribakus and bnha art in general, like your comics, but not a lot of people draw Tamaki and I really love yours:)

Holy smokes thank you!!!! Jiki is actually incredibly comfortable to draw, I’m glad you like my take on him! I’ve got so many unfinished sketches of him.... I should really try to finish those...................

Anon said:so this ask is like,, basically a huge appreciation ask for your comics bc they're cute and funny and they always light up my day!! on a side note: are you franeridan on ao3 bc if so I'm dying thank you for bookmarking my fics

Thank you!!!!!!!!!!!!! And yes I am!!!! whatever fics they were if I bookmarked them they were for sure incredibly amazing and made my day better so thank you so much for using your time to write them!!!!!

Anon said:may i ask the heights of teenage mako and tai!!

Mako is just a little bit under 2m and Tai’s ~170cm! As things are then, Mako’s a lil bit taller than both Baku and Kiri while Tai is obviously shorter!

Anon said:i used your art for reference. is it ok if i post it crediting you and saying you drew the picture that i took reference from?

Sure, if it’s just for reference and credited I don’t mind! (but if you were using my stuff for pose references may I suggest you avoid doing that in the future cause my anatomy is absolutely terrible you’re just gonna end up making my same mistakes aaahhhhhhhhhhh ;; there’s lotsa more accurate refs around, believe me)

Anon said:please draw more shinsou he looks amazing in your style!!

Thank you! And sure, in the future why not!!

Anon said:Just wanted to let you know that I was scrolling through your bokuroo tag and 1) Aaaah I'm still so in love with how you draw kuroo and 2) I love how I can see the way your art style has improved over time and it's just so nice to see?? Bless your art so much and you're such a great person too I'm cry

SOB thank you so much oh my god, this really means the world to me???? ;; so many compliments holy smokes bless you

Anon said:Hi! I'm the anon that sent you the message about the A Day to Remember song for KiriBaku, and found another awesome song for them - Let Me Be by Escape the Fate. It's super cute and sappy for an alt/hardcore band and it fits Kiri more than Baku, imo, but could honestly come from either of their perspectives. ~SongAnon :)

AH GODS that’s sweet ;O; how come hardcore bands always go so soft on their ballads I cry - I feel it works perfectly from Baku’s pov too, tho!! Let him be Kiriiiiiii ;;; sweet

Anon said:I just wanted to say that I love your art and style as a whole, but I really really appreciate the way you draw Kirishimas eyebrows... like they look so simple but,,, they truly make my day 💕

Kirishima’s tiny eyebrows!!!! I’m glad you like them, they’re weirdly expressive and easy to draw honestly hahaha

Anon said:your art is shit //no no no nonno oo fdjsakfl;d I MEANT THE SHIT your art is the shit fjkdsa i'm so sorry i love you and your art this is why i can never compliment anyone ahhhhhhh //i'm crying omg i saw someone else send a separate ask to someone elase that was like your art is shit but it is the shit and i was like whoaaa how cool but noooooo jfsdakldsfa kms i'm sorry

This was a bit of a trainwreck ngl haha but it’s okay anon!!! It was an honest mistake, don’t worry too much about it!!! Thank you so so so much for liking my stuff

Anon said:Hi erm I believe that YouTuber "AnimeUproar" used your kinoko komori fanart without crediting you and I'm not sure whether you gave him permission. The title of the video is "EVERY QUIRK EXPLAINED! | Class 1-B (My Hero Academia / Boku no Hero Academia All Quirks)" // Same anon as before and he also used your Setsuna art in the same video. The kinoko art had your watermark cut off while the other one didn't but they still have no credit anywhere and I'm not sure whether you have permission. Sorry if you did and I'm just being stupid lmao but it's the same YouTuber and the same video in case you want to message him

If it’s not credited you can be sure I didn’t give them the green light to use it, honestly - but, you know. Whatever. I’m tired. Let them use it. It’s a video so it’s not even like people can save it and reupload it anywhere else. sigh

Anon said:I am like 2000 years late but,, your bakubaby sketches saved my life wow they’re so cute

*cries forever* thank you !!!!!!!!!!!! ;;O;;

Anon said:All of ur art especially recently is just??? Blowing me away?? Oh my god?? I just your coloring and then that fantasy one holy fuck the DETAILS I feel like I can touch it it's so good I can tell you put a lot of time into it it shows it shows so much god it's so high quality I'M STILL !?!?! your art seems to get better all the time thank youuuuuu for blessing us w it it's so incredibly lovely ahhhhhhhhh

I’M SO HECKING HAPPY YOU LIKED THAT ONE cause it really took forever honestly - it was fun from start to end so it’s fine, but, you know, it’s cool to see it was worth it haha thank you so so much for the complimentsss!!!!

Anon said:I love your art so much :') it makes me so happy whenever I get a notification from your blog

I still can’t believe people really have notifs on for this blog oh my g o d ;u; thank you

Anon said:I just wanted the share, that I came across your art in a trash, and scrolled down your blog looking for more, and I liked it so much that I decided to follow you... Only to find past self already did whoops haha. So I liked you enough to follow you twice!

THAT’S SO COOL!!! Holy smokes!!!!!!!!!!! Thank you so much!!!!!!!!!!!!! °O°

Anon said:I just went thru your whole art tag chronologically and omg you've come so far! Every time your art crosses my dash I smile and I'm happy every time I see it!

Have I? I have!! Sometimes I look at my really old art and I hate it and want to delete it but then I’m like, comparing it to the new stuff makes me feel good about it so it’s still there - that does mean sometimes people are gonna see the old stuff too, tho #rip I’m sorry you had to see that stuff, but thank you a lot for thinking I got better!!!!

Anon said:I love how Jirou's eyes look in your style. (How everything about her looks, too.) Damn, she's a stunner, isn't she?

*whispers* she is oh my g o d !!! I love Jirou. She’s just. So goodlooking. Gods. I’m glad you think she looks good in my style!!!

Anon said:ur momo and jirou are so beautiful!!! 💙 if i wasnt already as gay as it gets id have a major enlightenment rn ahhh

GOSH!!!! thank you so much!!!! :D

Anon said:have you considered... minamomo and/or kyooru

Never before Jirou and Tooru, actually, but I have thought about Mina and Momo and I’m still unsure about where that ship even came from. Like, not in the sense that I think it’s a bad ship, but in the sense that I really don’t understand it :0 why do you like Mina and Momo, anon? There’s so many people shipping it, I’m curious about where it came from! But every time I asked I got no answer #rip I wanna be interested in it, help me understand why it should be interesting!

Anon said:Have you ever considered Aoyama x Sero?? 10/10 recommend.

I haven’t! Mostly cause I generally hc Aoyama as ace, really - but that’s an interesting ship I might think about more :O

Anon said:I finally started reading BNHA again after dropping it in May and HOLY SHIT DID I MISS A LOT!! JUST THAT ARC WAS INSANE??

I know right??? I KNOW RIGHT????? I loved that arc from start to end, no lies anywhere, such a genuinely good arc!!!

Anon said:Hey fran, I just wanted to say that I like your art very much and that I love to see how much you are improving as time goes on. You are doing great. ♥

So many people telling me that I’m improving oh my g o d it makes me so happy ;u; thank you so so much

Anon said:ahhhh i loved your aokaga drawings, they're the cutest and I hope you make more of them being cute together!!!!

Eek, sorry anon but I’m really not into making content for that ship anymore ;^; I’m glad you still like the old things, tho!!

Anon said:I really wanted to tell you that I love your art so much I can't even explain. It cures my anxiety and I'm not kidding. When I feel down and shitty, I just go through your blog and your fanarts make my day (my favorite ever is your bokuro). The way you put the emotions into characters gives me life, honestly. Thank you for your art

THIS MEANS!!! THE WORLD!!!! TO ME!!!!! Knowing that I can help you like that is such a good feeling anon, holy heck!! Thank you so much for liking my things and sending this ask!!!

Anon said:heyo tell us abt some kami angst hcs :)))) tenk youu

Anon............. love............... whatever in this blog made you think I might have angst headcanon about anything..................... I’m the most fluff person around............

Anon said:That idea you had about making hagakure's costume out of her hair or something like mirio's!!! WHAT A GREAT IDEA IVE NEVER THOUGHT ABOUT THAT BEFORE!! You're so smart! I LOVE IT

THANK YOU BUT IT WASN’T JUST MY IDEA!!! After Mirio explained his costume the idea was floating around on my dash a lot, it just made sense to a bunch of us!!

#fran answers #seriously so many people telling me my stuff is improving #it's making me so happy cause i feel like im slacking off so hard lately jesus christ ;u;#thank you !! <3 #anonymous

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deadcactuswalking · 5 years

Text

REVIEWING THE CHARTS: 26th May 2019 (Tyler the Creator, Halsey, DJ Khaled)

Top 10

“I Don’t Care” by Ed Sheeran featuring Justin Bieber sits at the top spot for a second week, and it seems pretty stable, even if the song itself is pretty lazy.

Lil Nas X’s “Old Town Road” featuring Billy Ray Cyrus is also steady at the runner-up spot.

At number-three, Lewis Capaldi trumps Stormzy up one space with “Someone You Loved” thanks to the release of Capaldi’s probably dreadful album.

This of course means “Vossi Bop” by Stormzy has flailed down one spot to number-four.

“Hold Me While You Wait” by Lewis Capaldi gets a short album release boost up three positions to number-five.

Billie Eilish’s “bad guy” is still at number-six since last week.

MEDUZA’s “Piece of Your Heart” with Goodboys suffers thanks to Capaldi, down two spaces to number-seven.

As does the late Avicii’s posthumous release “SOS” featuring Aloe Blacc, down a spot to number-eight.

Also thanks to Lewis Capaldi’s album release, we have number-nine, which is up 19 spaces from last week after squandering in the top 40 for a while. It’s “Grace” by Lewis Capaldi, peaking this week and becoming his third top 10 hit in the UK. Great. I’m not all that upset though because this means we won’t be seeing any new Capaldi this week, since all three singles were the most popular songs and UK chart rules prevent any other songs from appearing on the chart if they’re not the big three.

Also entering the top 10 for the first time is the mediocre house track “All Day and Night” by Jax Jones and Martin Solveig – presenting EUROPA – featuring Madison Beer, up oe space to #10, becoming both EUROPA as a group act and Beer’s first ever Top 10, as well as Jax Jones’ fifth and Solveig’s second, his first since 2015.

Climbers

There’s not much at all here to talk about, neither will there be many fallers, however there are a handful. First of all, we have an unexpected and unwelcome rebound for “Giant” by Calvin Harris and Rag ‘n’ Bone Man up five spaces to #24. Also, thanks to some more exposure that was inspired by a Hardy Caprio cosign on “Guten Tag” (that also just entered the Top 20 this week, which is pretty epic), Digga D’s “No Diet” is up eight spots to #25. “Late Night Feelings” by Mark Ronson featuring Lykke Li is also up six positions to #33 off of the debut.

Fallers

Going in reverse order, at #38, we have “Homicide” by Logic featuring Eminem absolutely collapsing down 12 spaces to #38. Oof. Speaking of collapses thanks to a lack of streaming after its first two weeks, “Greaze Mode” by Skepta featuring Nafe Smallz couldn’t even have that second week down 13 to #35, but it’ll rebound due to the album release in a few weeks’ time. “Just You and I” by Tom Walker might have had a streaming cut down 15 spaces to #29, but I think a lot of that is genuinely wavering popularity.

Dropouts & Returning Entries

Out of the top 75 completely is “i’m so tired...” by LAUV and Troye Sivan from #37, mostly due to streaming cuts and dumb UK chart rules, which have also affected “Don’t Feel Like Crying” by Sigrid out from #30. Otherwise, “Falling like the Stars” by James Arthur thankfully falters after people realised the song is absolute trite without the video, and it’s out from #34 off of the debut. Sadly, “Boasty” by Wiley featuring Sean Paul, Stefflon Don and Idris Elba has also had streaming cuts and is out from #17, because it’s a hip-hop song, and they are effectively streaming-exclusive. Also out are two not premature losses, in fact, these are very expected, as they’ve been in the last half of the top 40 for a while, and today was a big week, so, I feel like we can safely say “Good riddance” to “Don’t Call Me Up” by Mabel out from #36, and “Swervin” by A Boogie wit da Hoodie featuring 6ix9ine out from #40; Mabel might rebound though. There are no returning entries this week.

NEW ARRIVALS

#39 – “3 Nights” – Dominic Fike

Produced by Capi – Peaked at #3 in Australia

Now for the first time in a while, maybe since MEDUZA, I’m intrigued by this new artist’s debut on the charts, but I’ve seen his name buzzing up for a while... he only has six songs yet thanks to this massive worldwide smash, has 10 million monthly listeners, yet he’s completely passed me by. His Spotify bio is a yellow heart emoji, which is the worst heart emoji. I’m disgusted. Of course, I’m kidding, but I have heard him pop up on Kevin Abstract’s recent solo record ARIZONA BABY and he’s been an indie pop star for a while now, I imagine, I just haven’t cared enough to check his EP out, I suppose. Nevertheless, this is his first ever Top 40 hit in the UK, and I love it. It starts pretty abruptly with a bouncy clap beat and some stringy guitar that you can hear in a lot of vaguely indie pop nowadays, except unlike a LAUV, Dominic Fike has a soulful albeit somewhat reminiscent of pop-punk voice that backs up the acoustics (which may be a bit too much in the front of the mix than I’d like), as the bassline’s fun, energetic groove just kicks and kicks, Fike keeps going on with a fine-tuned, double-tracked vocal performance until he breaks down on the second verse, where he starts yell-rapping and I honestly start to think there was an uncredited Trippie Redd guest verse that made this blow up. Like I said, though, Fike is much more refined than a Trippie Redd, who just kind of belts relentlessly without any care for how it works musically. The falsetto backing vocals are cute, and the plucking guitar becomes a real driving force for the rhythm, especially when the first verse is mostly bare. Whilst most artists in this lane of indie-pop/singer-songwriter guy who’s actually pretty manufactured and generic would let the instrumental breathe in an airy, cloudy mess of synth, Fike is all over it, not letting the instrumental get a second of breathing room before he explodes on the track. The content matter is interesting, as well, as it paints imagery of street lights that have been such a familiar sight for Fike over the months of having a relationship, those three nights representing three stages, from not caring to being absolutely smitten in love, before they just drift apart and there’s nothing to do about it, and Fike is frustrated that he can’t repair this shattered relationship. Oh, yeah, and:

And she sent me naked pictures from her neck down to her waist

I feel this downplays the romance and emotion here a bit, though. I’ve personally always found it more compelling when it’s the man admitting he sent naked pictures, as that’s more rough and emotionally revealing than the inverse.

She found pictures in her e-mail / I sent this bitch a picture of my d*** - Kanye West, “Runaway”

I still absolutely love this song though. I’d say check it out, but everyone has. I’m late to the party.

#37 – “Jealous” – DJ Khaled featuring Chris Brown, Lil Wayne and Big Sean

Produced by Tay Keith and Nova Wav – Peaked at #57 in the US

I feel I’ve gotten the wrong end of the stick here with these album cuts. With Tyler, the Creator instead of the fun introduction “IGOR’S THEME”, which is at #41, I get the much worse “I THINK” at #30. With DJ Khaled, instead of the beautiful Nipsey Hussle tribute “Higher” with John Legend at #43, I get Chris Brown. Thanks, I hate it. I don’t have to do any research, you know who these guys are, and I’m sure you don’t care, I’ll get through this quickly after turning on Private Session because my last.fm having Chris Brown scrobbles is a nightmare. Might as well list the insane amount of Top 40 hits these dudes have, DJ Khaled surprisingly having the least with five, with who I expected to have the least, Big Sean, racking up... also five, mostly because those sell-out features really pay off, Lil Wayne on the other hand having twenty-freaking-four, and Chris Brown trumping them all with about 38. What a delightful thought that is. Uh, so what’s happening here? DJ Khaled is pointless once again, as I doubt he had any element of involvement in this Tay Keith beat, who doesn’t even get to have his full producer tag play in the intro, which is insanely cluttered. His dated synth patterns and tones are still there with the rattling hi-hats, though, and there’s way too many Chris Brown on this song, because he sounds muddy and awful, with Auto-Tune that’d make a metalhead want to shoot a frog’s brains out. I like Lil Wayne’s verse, mostly because he actually has some well-constructed bars, but he drowns out into the chaotic pre-chorus and DJ Khaled ad-libs... and his flow is lacklustre, cut short by Chris Brown. Big Sean is fun and discusses Jhené Aiko, whilst interpolating the “In My Feelings” flow of all flows, but he also is cut short by Chris Brown. Please listen to CHVRCHES and stop collaborating with this pathetic abusive excuse for a human being. Seriously, why so much of that Chris Brown hook? Honestly, Big Sean can barely get a “Straight up” ad-lib in there. I hate this, actually, that hook has a falsetto Lil Wayne harmonising for some reason, and the bridge is multi-tracked with awful, low-fidelity chipmunk vocals, and yeah, this is awful, why did I consider this passable? I never want to hear this again, the instrumental’s so cluttered and over-polished so you can barely hear the vocalists except Chris Brown who is all over the place. DJ Khaled sounds like Quavo sometimes here, what is happening? I’m confused, who has played themselves? Why is Khaled just shouting over the outro? He’s supposed to only do this on the video skits, what the—

#36 – “Summer Days” – Martin Garrix, Macklemore and Patrick Stump of Fall Out Boy

Produced by Martin Garrix – Peaked at #4 in Belgium

And the Cactus Award for What the Ever-loving Frick Did I Just Read? goes to... Martin Garrix, Patrick Stump and Macklemore on the same song. This is the whitest thing I think has ever been produced and released, but besides that, we should be questioning why these guys thought it was okay to collaborate, and that this was going to go unnoticed. Should I care? Isn’t this just a pop singer-rapper collaboration and the connection to Fall Out Boy is what’s making me overreact? I mean, Fall Out Boy is a shill now too, especially with that disgusting Lil Peep collaboration. It’s weird to see Macklemore out of his natural habitat of being only barely existent but good to know he’s hopped out of his shell to collaborate with some EDM doofus and I’m sure who was his favourite emo singer as a teen. This is Garrix’s tenth UK Top 40 hit, Macklemore’s eighth and third without Ryan Lewis and Patrick Stump’s fourth as a solo act, his first since 2007. Is it good? Well, no. It isn’t, really. Patrick Stump essentially whispers through the first verse, but his oddly nasal tone at least in the first verse doesn’t fit EDM production, and he’s yet to realise this, as while he’s more soulful and bassy afterwards, he immediately goes to a falsetto... and it gets better. A lot better – in fact, the distant acoustic guitar strumming (that may be too front in the mix once again for my liking) and cute fake finger-snaps make a pretty good foundation for a beat that both Stump and Macklemore perform pretty well on, especially since that rough electric guitar comes in for Macklemore to spit about his fascination and close bond with this woman but who cares, that drop is epic. That drop is insanely good, and the electric guitar build-up within Macklemore’s verse is subtle but excellent. This is actually more of a rock song than EDM, when I think about it, and the drop perfectly crafts the acoustic guitar strumming and cloudy synths with the guitar line, chopping up Stump’s vocals and leaving him recognisable, whilst still sounding warm and summery, mostly because of how slick the guitar is and the finger-snaps do allow for some kind of bounce and groove. The touches of strings in the second build-up is a nice additional touch, and I love when Stump cracks out of his falsetto briefly to signify that the drop is coming, and it is crashing hard. A better music critic would call this a trainwreck, a disaster on all fronts, but I like it for what it is. God, I’m so dumb.

#30 – “I THINK” – Tyler, the Creator featuring uncredited vocals from Solange

Produced by Tyler, the Creator – Peaked at #51 in the US

I knew Tyler’s hype was growing immensely but I didn’t expect an album bomb from Tyler on the Hot 100, and this sudden boost of popularity seems to come out of nowhere, especially since the last time he was this big he was having threesomes with a triceratops and stabbing Bruno Mars in his goddamn oesophagus. Nevertheless, Tyler’s back in the UK as Theresa May leaves, as are his songs, as he has a second but we won’t be talking about it for reasons explained later. This is “I THINK” from his most recent effort IGOR and while I’ve been a pretty long-term and semi-diehard Tyler, the Creator fan for a while, I’d argue IGOR may be one of his worst efforts yet, not because it’s bad but I’m incredibly indifferent on a lot of the songs, mostly because of a lack of substance from both the lyrics and the aimless instrumentals. This in particular is one of my least favourite songs, next to “GONE, GONE / THANK YOU” and “RUNNING OUT OF TIME” as pretty boring, dull listens, however it does differentiate itself from songs like that by being largely a hip house track, which is a genre you don’t see on charts anymore. This is Tyler’s first ever Top 40 hit in the UK and Solange’s second as a solo act as well, her first since 2008, and I don’t feel it that much as other tracks from the album. The groove is there, and the tribal house beat is fun, but Tyler’s Kanye-like droning delivery, with a bassline ripped from “Stronger” and fancy synths that cover Tyler’s nonexistent upper register that pitch-shifting can’t really fix or mask. Solange sounds beautiful here as well, but she’s relatively underused I feel, only having a chorus and refrain, but she’s very oddly mixed, as she’s much louder than Tyler for the most part, despite being a guest on the album, as the others are mostly quieter than Tyler due to the personal aspects of the album and how it wants to focus on Tyler, meaning it’s kind of inconsistent. The wonky 80s synths in the back-end of the track are very typical of Tyler and do add to the track in making it pretty fun, but it does get a bit too messy and cluttered in the final chorus, which is insanely catchy, may I add, and I do love the piano that ends the track, but overall, this feels very half-hearted. The aimless nature of the song is intentional, I’m sure, as it’s all about feeling that first spark of love and having no idea what’s going to come of it, but the pacing is dodgy here as it comes right after deeply saddened break-up song “EARFQUAKE”. Maybe I’m missing the point, but I’m not a fan of this one. Sorry.

#26 – “Nightmare” – Halsey

Produced by benny blanco, Cashmere Cat and Happy Perez – Peaked at #15 in the US and... #7 in Slovakia. Huh.

And now to ruin any potential credit given to me as a music critic, reviewer and enthusiast, especially right after that Tyler, the Creator review. Now, there’s a lot to hate about Halsey’s seventh UK Top 40 hit, trust me, I know that. The pointless prayer at the beginning that doesn’t add anything to the song or its content and is completely irrelevant, the abrupt drop into the belting chorus, the Billie Eilish rip-off in the first verse with the minimal, multi-tracked sing-rapping over a trap beat that she can’t flow over at all, especially in the second verse where she is sloppy as hell, the janky pre-chorus and the chorus as a whole being kind of pathetic and really short, the line “I’m no sweet dream, but a hell of a night” not working within the context of the song. However, let me give you this as a rebuttal. Those floaty, gliding guitars in the intro are absolutely beautiful and the prayer, whilst probably making more sense when the album comes out, is about giving the Lord her soul, essentially having to give men their all and get nothing back, which is implied by how it drops immediately to the rock-infused chorus, which attempts at being empowering at least but it is catchy as hell, especially with Halsey’s memorably raspy delivery. The sing-rapping works on the first verse, and is mostly about self-harm, actually, which is influenced by how men have lied to her, but it goes on a bit of a tangent that isn’t relevant to how the song is about empowering women, and that women don’t have to always smile for the camera, as mentioned in the pre-chorus. The main lyric as mentioned before makes sense now because like in the second verse, the media and/or G-Eazy is being dominant over her and she won’t stand for it, she won’t be patronised and the last line in the second verse exemplifies that with a line I really like:

I’m tired and angry, but somebody should be

Somebody SHOULD always be speaking out about society’s BS, and—wait, how the hell does this makes sense if it’s also about G-Eazy and/or break-ups in general? With this and “Bad at Love”, I’m actually really confused about Halsey’s songwriting. That song also had an obnoxious hook, huh. Hell, “Without Me” had all these problems as well... as did “Closer”, actually, and that’s not even her song. I stick by this being pretty okay though, especially by Halsey standards, even if it feels very mish-mash, and the distorted electric guitar being back in the mix does dampen the effectiveness of the chorus, which is still anthemic – or at least tries to be. Oh, yeah, and Halsey’s really attra—

#17 – “EARFQUAKE” – Tyler, the Creator featuring uncredited vocals from Playboi Carti, Charlie Wilson and Jessy Wilson

Produced by Tyler, the Creator – Peaked at #13 in the US

I love this song to death, it’s by far my favourite off of IGOR. As you can see by its US peak, however, this will probably be eligible for my best list by the end of the year and I’m planning in advance, it’s probably going to be very high on that list. I know this means I only give Tyler a negative write-up this episode, which saddens me too, but don’t worry, I’ll make up for it when December/January rolls around and it’s time for list season. This is Tyler’s second UK Top 40 hit, Carti’s first ever charting song in the UK (It surprised me too), as well as Jessy Wilson’s, and Charlie Wilson has a few but his discography page is messy as hell so I won’t try and count them, they’re all uncredited as well so that makes it harder. Imagine having more than three UK Top 40 hits as a solo act and you don’t get credit for any of them. Anyway, even though I can’t cover it...

Conclusion

Tyler, the Creator gets Best of the Week for “EARFQUAKE”, no contest. In fact, I’m hesitant to give “3 Nights” by Dominic Fike the Honourable Mention, just because “EARFQUAKE” is THAT good. Dishonourable Mention goes to Tyler, the Creator as well (Unfortunately), for the pretty dull “I THINK”, whilst Worst of the Week goes to DJ Khaled, Lil Wayne, Big Sean and Bowser Jr. for “Jealous”, what a trainwreck. Follow me on Twitter @cactusinthebank for more musical ramblings and Jonas Brothers content because that’s the Tweet they decided to push, and I’ll see you next week!

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