#That said it is fucking noisy in here and I can't focus right now

[zenongeremek]

Innocence (Clone!Reader)

Word Count: 841

“Where the fuck is he!" Sekido screamed as he walked through the forest.

"Well he's not dead at least." Karaku joked, which seemed to trigger Sekido. "You should chill, Sekido."

"He's not dead, yet. If he dies, we die too. That's why we have to find him before it's too late." Completed Zohakuten.

"If it bothers you so much, why didn't you stick with him then?"

"Cause I was fighting two Hashira at the same time, and it would have been dangerous for him to stay close."

"Let's not fight. It's too sad. What happened, happened. Let's just focus on finding Hantengu." Aizetsu said.

"Shut up, Aizetsu!" Growled Sekido before looking forward.

"Guys!" Urogi called them as he dropped from the sky in front of them.

"Hey, Urogi. Have you found him?" Karaku asked carefreely.

"Yeah, I did. He's just a hundred meters ahead."

"Oh yeah? Then why didn't you bring him with you, you idiot?" Sekido barked, and Zohakuten nodded, crossing his arms over his chest.

"That's the fun part! Follow me!" Then, he ran off in that direction he pointed.

The other four looked at one another before following him too. Silently they walked towards the place Urogi pointed, and they soon came across with a large clearing. The sky was clear and the moon full and at its peak, so it was possible to very the whole place clearly. In the center of the clearing, however, there was a stone, in which there was a curled up form.

"Are we supposed to see something here, Urogi?"

"Forget that! Where the fuck is he?"

"Ah! I guess they both fell asleep!" The joy clone said before approaching the stone. "Come, come!"

Sekido scowled and Zohakuten frowned while Aizetsu and Karaku followed their fellow clone. As they approached the stone, they could see it better. It was a child, a young kid, probably between five or six years of age, gently snoring in the stone. Hantengu was with them, hugged in their arms and sleeping peacefully. But that's not what got their attention the most. What did was the pair of horns and the visible veins on their forehead, like them.

"Aw! So cute!"

"Aren't they?"

"Is this... another clone?"

"What are they being so noisy about?"

"I don't know. Hey! Just get Hantengu and let's get going!"

The other three ignored him as Aizetsu leaned in to check the small child better.

"It's... really a clone... But... Why now of all times?"

After he said that, the child stirred, but who woke up was Hantengu.

"A-Aizetsu... K-Karaku... U-Urogi..." He stuttered fearfully. "P-Please... D-Don't hurt the little one... T-They protected me... T-They are a clone, like you..."

"What emotion are they?"

"I-Innocence..."

"That's not an emotion."

"Lame hahaha!"

"D-Don't laugh of them! T-They are my friend!"

This reaction made all the clones stop.

"Uuuuh! The scared cat Hantengu is now getting brave to protect a kid? Now, that's a sight to see!"

"Right?"

"Hantengu, what's their name...?"

"(Y/N). T-That's the name I gave them."

Aizetsu then nods and reaches out their hand to pick up the kid, (Y/N).

"What are you doing, Aizetsu?"

"Didn't know you were found of kids."

"They are one of us... We can't let them here... Hantengu doesn't want that too... Let's take them back with us..."

"Then you better tell that to Sekido."

"Here he comes!"

"WHAT THE FUCK IS TAKING YOU SO LONG!?" Sekido screams made Hantengu hide behind Aizetsu.

The anger clone comes with Zohakuten that eyes the child in Aizetsu's arm.

"A child?"

"Hantengu made a new clone!"

"And we are taking them with us!"

"No, we're not!"

"Yes, we are~! I'm not leaving such a cutie here in the cold to burn in the sun when the morning comes."

"Not my fucking problem! If you found Hantengu, we're leaving! And leave them there!"

"But Hantengu wants them to come..."

Hantengu nods at Aizetsu's words, scared of Sekido.

"Who gives a crap!? Oi, Zohakuten! Back me up here!"

Zohakuten just stays silent, watching closely the little one.

"Are they good?"

"T-They are innocent..."

"Hantengu said that they are the innocent clone."

"Pretty lame, right?"

Zohakuten stares at the kid in Aizetsu's arms for a little longer before speaking.

"Then, let's bring them to the base."

"What!?"

"Yay! Hahaha!"

"If the strongest one said it, then it will be done!"

"You are going to wake them up..."

"Who gives a crap!? Leave them there and let's go!"

"No!"

All the clones said at the same time before rushing to the forest (even Urogi ran instead of flying, just to annoy Sekido). The anger clone followed them and began throwing lightnings at them. All the while, (Y/N) is asleep, unaware of everything happening around them.

(Part 2?)

[cosmic--dandelion]

So what did I actually think of Helluva Boss Season 1, Episode 8: Queen Bee?

Things I liked:

⭐ Throughout the entire episode, the focus is entirely on Loona, and even though takes up a large chunk of the screen time in the latter half, it very much feels like Loona's story.

⭐ It's amazing how one episode can totally change your view on a character. Now, Loona is not and never has been on my top favorite character list. That said, it's pretty ironic that I feel like I learned so much more about her just by watching her struggling like hell to socialize at a party than I did in Seeing Stars, where we got to see her entire backstory.

Anyone who's ever been the new face at a giant, noisy blowout party where everyone else is part of a pre-established friend group knows what it's like when the guy who invited you leaves to get drinks and leaves you all alone in a sea of unfamiliar faces. It's easy to forget because of her in your face attitude, but Loona is actually pretty introverted. The episode handles the awkwardness just right, communicating Loona's shyness without turning her into a blushing, trembling mess.

⭐ Loona's humiliation and jealousy over Bee is written with a surprising amount of emotional realism for a quirky dark comedy like Helluva Boss. I love the fact that Bee's just a genuinely nice person rather than some stereotypical alpha bitch Loona has to "rescue" Tex from, but she's still gorgeous, rich, famous, popular, and has fucking MAGICAL POWERS. Poor girl just can't compete with that.

⭐️ Blitzø instantly out of his angst coma from the last episode and breaking every speed limit on the seven rings when Loona needs him. Helluva Boss is a bleak, cynical show about sweary, sex-obsessed demons who kill people for a living, including children, but Blitzø is far from a perfect man or a perfect father, but in every scene where they're together, you can tell how much he loves her. There's so much genuine human warmth and sincerity on display here that's completely missing from most animated adult comedies.

⭐️ This face.

⭐️ "Yeah, that's my dad!"

Seriously, I'm almost glad that this episode debuted after Seeing Stars because I would not have been able to handle watching all this character development and father-daughter bonding, then watch Loona knee the poor guy on the crotch from trying to hug her.

Also, Blitzø and Bee's drinking contest acting as an ice breaker for Loona to make some friends was a really clever touch.

⭐️ Bee's concern over Blitzø. I don't care what anyone says, making the sin of Gluttony an empathy/emotion eater who gets high of the energy of people overindulgence at parties is incredibly creative. According to St. Thomas Aquinas, gluttony isn't just about eating too much; it's about a deep, ardent longing for the pure sensory pleasure of sumptuous food and drink. Bee's motivations make sense here: Blitzø isn't drinking too much because the liquer tastes good or he enjoys being drunk, he's actively destroying himself and trying to kill every braincell that remembers what happened at Ozzy's. She can probably sense the pain he's trying to escape. Plus, he was in serious danger of drinking himself to death or getting molested, which would have put a damper on the party.

⭐️ Loona giving no fucks. Damn, girl, even Millie was scared to tangle with Asmodeus. She really comes across as if she has nothing to lose.

The fact that she backed down purely because she didn't want to make Vortex uncomfortable is cute. See, she is capable of being considerate sometimes.

⭐️ LOONA TAKING CARE OF HER DAD

This is seriously one of my favorite scenes in the entire series. I love how it takes time to build up the atmosphere. I love how the scene moves at a nature pace instead of Helluva Boss's usual permanent sugar high setting, allowing for quiet little moments like Loona putting a blanket over Blitzø.

This is the first time you really see Loona and Blitzø acting like equals instead of Blitzø coddling her and Loona shunning adult responsibilities. This is probably the most vulnerable and honest she's ever seen him, and instead of being angry or disgusted, she just gently reassures him that she'll never abandon him like so many others have.

⭐️ I loved the fun atmosphere and the bubbly, candy-coated aesthetic, especially after the 20 megaton angst nuke that was dropped on us in the last episode. The story is simple and compact with a clearly defined beginning; middle, and end; no loose plot threads; no unnecessary characters.it would have been a great way to end the season.

Things I didn't like:

💀Loona abruptly changing her mind about the party after this one dude flirts with her. Feels kind of contrived.

💀"Cotton Candy" is catchy enough and pretty on point for a Kesha song (unsurprisingly, considering that she wrote it herself, but it's very repetitive. This makes it all the more frustrating that an absolute banger like "Monster Ball" was languishing in the end credits.

Final score: 9/10

[demon-blood-youths]

Also, what about Davion! Do you have more intense wet dreams about him?

Jeez. These anons are freaking noisy. Rust sets his drink down on the table before groaning, "Listen man...are you really here to know about my love life or something? Like what the hell?" Rust doesn't want to say it. There were intense wet dreams that the knight had of Davion. The ones that keep occurring a few times were.

----

"Ha..ha...how does this help?"

"It helps with your muscle and increase your stamina, little knight."

"Nugh....yeah right." Rust doubts it.

The knight and the dragon were in the gym. They were exercising and training as usual. It starts off as tame at first. Like it's the usual workout but then it turns into teasing and then this.

It started out with Davion massaging his joints and his back to ease the nicks of his mucles. Then he went to his chest, and he felt him ghosting over his pecs before rubbing his pecs. Whenever he does this, he flushes his cheeks pink. Davion notices this and starts to tease his pecs further. Of course, Rust tells him to knock off and it leads to where the knight tells Davion that he can build up resistance to his touches.

To prove his point, Davion presents a challenge for the little knight that he can't say no to. A small bet. It starts off with using toys. A vibrator inside as he is using the exercise machines. Crazy bastard. He is sweating and heated, trying to focus on his sets. But he had to mess with him by adjusting the settings on this damn thing.

He is doing sets by lifting dumbbells in each arm. He focus on his sets but the toy is vibrating his spots, making his legs tremble a bit. He tries to steel his nerves as he continues his sets. "Seriously...how does this help?" "What's wrong, little knight? Are you tired already?" Davion teases as he is holding the remote in his hand. Rust huffs, "Faaar from it...hnng. I can still keep going." He said while his cheeks were flushed pink. He won't let Davion win. No way. However..things are getting harder from there.

He is doing sets on the leg press machine. He rests his back against the padded seat and presses his legs upwards against the pad that is attached to the weights. Davion said it helps with his legs. But he wants to see if he can handle the sensation in his ass while doing sets. He pushes his legs against the pad, doing his set. Every time he pushes, the vibrator touches his sensitive spots making him grit his teeth. After finishing his sets, he pants.

"Ha..ha...ha...."

"Was that hard for you?" Then Davion blinked, seeing the sweating Rust whose face heated and with his eyes half-lidded. Seeing him like this makes him tempting. He wants to take him right now.

"Fuck..." Rust uttered. And soon, they move away from the toys and go for the real thing. By the real thing, it means Davion is buried inside Rust while he is standing up, pulling the handles.

"Haaaa....haaa..."

Rust is using the cable crossover machine by pulling the handles while Davion is holding him steady. The blond gasped before growling a little. The dragon's hard girth is rubbing at the right spots making him gasp and drool a little.

"What's wrong? Are you doing alright?" Said the dragon, nibbling the lobe of his ear making the blond pant. "Mhmmm...I'm fine...you crazy dragon." He said with his cheeks heated. "A-almost done..." He pulls his head away from him.

"Good. Then can you help me with some sets. I need a spotter." Davion chuckled.

-----

The dream is visual and....damn....what would he call it? Kinky? What the fuck? What the hell is wrong with him?

----

He was helping Davion with the weights. He got on his lap while holding onto him. His bottom half is bare while straddling his lap. He panted. "How..how would this help?" Rust asked, wincing a bit.

"This is training for my cock and for your hips." Davion said at his ear while the blond is holding onto him. Davion is using the overhead press machine with Rust on his lap or rather on his hard girth, bouncing on it. While he is doing sets, Rust makes sure to hold on while counting. Seeing the look on the blond's face made the dragon hungrier and hungrier. He wants to eat him up.

"Ha...ha...damn." Rust said. "17....18...ah.....19....hrk...20." He said, uttering the counting wile closing his eyes. He keeps moving his hips down when Davion thrusts up when doing his sets.

After doing that...

----

Rust's cheeks flushed even redder, he hid his face in his hands before pulling his hoodie down. Darn it. Why does he keep remembering that dream?! He is getting aroused by this.

----

"Haahhh...fuck...hahhhahh...how much...longer?...oohhhhh" Rust whined as he is on his back with his hips lifted and being held by the dragon as the blond's legs were hooked under his arms. His lower back is off the mat and only his upper back is on the mat. Davion grunts as he keeps thrusting his hips forward making the knight moan and mewl.

"Ah...fuck....hnnng..." Rust panted as there is drool from the corner of his mouth.

The duo are on a gym mat that is being used for sit-ups, push-ups, and other exercise positions. And what they're doing is an exercise position. Or rather....Davion calls it that despite Rust knowing this is a sex position they're in.

The blond had his wrists tied up by jump rope, making this more hotter and dominant. He never thought that they would do this here in the gym!

The knight gasps and moans as the dragon keeps thrusting into him deeply. He also snaps his thrusts making him cry out loud. "Ah..AH! FUCK!"

"Hahaha...I won't be able to keep up this. How many sets are we in, little knight?"

"Is this for me or for you?" He complained but his rear got spanked making him yelp. "For both of us, my treasure." Davion chided him with a smirk making Rust flush redder. "now where were we?" Davion corrects him before giving another powerful thrust. The blond screams before he tries to remember where they are at.

"Um....um...20...20 more." The knight answers under him. "20 more sets to go." He said with his tongue out with half-lidded eyes. The blond isn't sure if he can withstand anymore of this. But he doesn't want this to stop. Damnit. It feels too good.

"Good boy." Daivon said, continue to thrust into him. Rust tightens up hearing that and looks up towards the ceiling. He can't even buck his hips since Davion has them in a tight grip. "Fuck...Davion...don't stop..."

"Don't worry...like you said...we got 20 sets to go!" Davion proceeds to increase the pace, hitting his prostrate dead-on making his knight moan loudly. "N-NOT THERE! DON'T HIT THERE!"

"You mean here???" Daivion delivers a precise pounding at the right spots, making the blond leak out as he throws his head back with a pleasurable scream. "Now keep track...little treasure."

"I-I will! I WILL!" Rust obeyed as he counted once more. The dragon chuckles and says, "I guess I win this bet, don't I?" He keeps on pounding.

"Y-yeah...you did!" Rust moaned. Davion keeps on going and it's hard to keep track. Rust cries and tightens up, he's getting close. Really close. Davion growls as he is getting close, not letting up as he keeps plowing and claiming his knight once more.

"Ah...I'm getting close. Are you close?" Davion asked, not stopping until his treasure cums.

"Y-yeah...I am. Need your heat! PLEASE! I want it!" Rust cried.

"Then let's come together!" Davion exclaimed before letting out a roar as both came.

------

In reality, Rust had to sit down and put his head in his hands. He tries to close his legs together. "Go away...anon. Not telling ya"

For @the-silver-peahen-residence

[fastfists]

Okay, late post...I was going to work on things BUT I can barely concentrate due to the NOISE coming from the dehumidifiers in the room (there are currently at least 3 in my room).

I’ll be lurking for now...

[haechanokeh]

I’m right for you [pt. 3]

[teaser] [ Chapter 1 ] [ Chapter 2 ]

(you can play Die For You by The Weeknd while reading this 😌)

pairing: popular college! mark x average! reader

genre: romance, smut, angst, series.

warning: corruption, oral sex (both receiving and giving), cream pie, rough sex, mention of religion, rough sex, self-esteem, psychology, public sex, sub! reader, sex toys. possessive mark two-faced mark

I think I’m right for you, babe. You know what I’m thinking, see it in your eyes. You hate that you want me, hate it when you cry. It ain’t workin’ ‘cause you’re perfect and I know that you’re worth it I can’t walk away. (Die for you by The Weeknd)

today is you case presentation with mark. you were deeply affected of what happened in the cubicle but mark seemed unbothered because he was greeting you as usual. it wasn’t weird, he always greets everyone but what was really weird was your classmates. they were looking at you and it made you felt conscious, they were not saying anything but sometimes you catch them glancing at you but you brushed it off and focus on your brainstorming with mark.

yes you do dislike mark but you thank god that he's your partner. he never missed a question from your professor during case study on the other hand you're just standing beside him dumbly. you only understand the question AND the answer once mark responded. well, mark a very kind person he was, despite of answering it alone he made sure that you're included in the case saying base in y/n and my research, even lied that some are from my own research but of course not. plus, for some odd reason, your classmates' eyes were literally made you uncomfortable to the point you were having a hard time to breathe or your social anxiety attacking you. however, at the very moment, you want to give mark a tight hug for making your life easy.

the whole presentation ended. you were putting your things back to your back while standing while mark scrolling in his phone because his dad texted him asking if he could buy him some new pen. you gasped when an arm was on your shoulder, and that caught mark's attention but he hid his annoyance. 

"hey, y/n, i heard you like someone ha?" his brows were playfully raising. it was lucas, he gave mark a meaningful glance but mark smiled confusingly.

"what?" you didn't have any idea what he's telling you. 

"i heard someone saw-"

"mark!" mina suddenly appeared calling mark's name a little too loud which made lucas stop from talking. "we're going to a milk tea house, do you want to come with us?"

“y/n, come with us.” lucas pulled you closer to his body. mark was taring at lucas arm around your shoulder. you weren’t aware of mark’s expression because your mind was thinking ways to breakthrough from lucas. 

“no!” mina exclaimed. he caught everyone’s attention, and she became flustered. “i mean, we will only make her feel uncomfortable and lucas please remove your arms to y/n, she doesn’t look comfortable.” she mumbled. lucas did remove his arms from you. 

“milk tea? can we also come with you?” then the people started to surround mark. it became noisy, knowing you who’s allergic to people and noise sneaked out from the circle and left the room.

mark turned his head to look at you but you’re nowhere to be found. he sighed and forced himself to interact with his classmates.

your mother texted you that he will be away for one week because of their excursion. she left you an allowance good for one week including your meals for the whole day and transportation. you already had your dinner outside. right now you were just laying down on your favorite long sofa in your living room, watching NCT 2020 funny moments. suddenly, mark's name popped. mark is your class representative, he has access to class contacts and it wasn't that mark called you because you're always late in the class so for almost past 3 years he's the one you always contact just to inform the class that you're just late. 

wait, did i miss an announcement? you quickly left the class maybe something came up.

"hello, was there an announcement?" you directly asked

"none, just checking you. we haven't had a proper conversation awhile ago unless it's case related." 

you heart melted, he's very kind and sweet... that scares you.

"ah okay." you simply answered. it wasn't because you want to talk to him, well you really don't want to talk to him but it wasn't that he's annoying or anything- it was just you hate phone calls. you hate talking with someone in general unless it's your mom. 

"well, have you eaten yet?" he tried to save the conversation, he wanted to hear your voice longer.

"yes." it was a one-word reply. 

mark was slightly shattered because you don't seem to want to talk to him. he just thought that maybe you were tired.

"okay, goodnight."

"yeah." then you hang up. 

you returned watching youtube until you drifted into your dreamland... no it wasn't your dreamland.

you gasped and sat up as you woke from another perverted dream with mark. your chest was rising aggressively and you look down as you felt the wetness between your thighs. you raked your hands over your hair as you felt frustration and guilt. this was your second time that you dreamt of mark doing erotic things. you looked at the digital clock it was already 2 am. you groaned and stood up, you want to wash your body because the stickiness just made you feel more guilty if it stays there longer.

you entered your room and stripped, walking directly into your bathroom. you opened a warm shower and as the water trickled on your body, hands unconsciously trailing to the south. your dream was so hot, you can't lie about that. it was in the same cubicle but instead of his digits, it was his dick inside you. 

your eyes closed as you rubbed your bead slow while recalling your dream. you squeezed your left breast and imagining it was mark's squeezing it. you want something to fill your womanhood so you inserted your two fingers and thrust it. your lungs felt like being suppressed by pressure, your thrust became furious. 

"oh my- mark fuck." you moaned his name and you have never been so ashamed. it was so wrong but the feeling was so good that you weren't able to stop yourself from moaning. you felt the tension in your thighs. you knelt down and the hand that squeezing your breast was now on your clit rubbing it furiously. 

"mark! fuck right there." you felt the tension in your abdomen and your legs started to shake. your body just gave in, bending down, cheek shoved against the wet tiles while the warm water splashed on your body.

you screamed erotically, eyes rolling and lashes flickering. your legs were shaking as you reached your high.

 mark hasn't slept yet, it's okay for him because there are no classes. he was staring at the ceiling and mind preoccupied by you.

he was trying to understand why do you keep pushing him away even though you clearly wanted him too. mark did remember where you say he's very different from you, and so? what's wrong with it? what he didn't like is the thought of changing just for a single person but...

"shall i?" he chuckled bitterly. he was really close to his insanity. he feared that this affection will grow into something that is uncontrollable- like an obsession.  

he checked the time through his phone. it's 5 in the morning. he decided to jog outside, so, he took a quick shower and wore his tracksuit and running shoes. maybe if tiredness hits him, he will feel sleepy. mark already went to your house and he didn't tell you that his house is just a few blocks away from you, instead of going to his normal route, he changed it, jogging in your house direction.

when he was closed to your street, he was surprised to see you outside. he stood and admire your naturalness from afar. your hair was disheveled, your eyes weren't completely closed yet, and your face was a little puffy but it doesn't take away your beauty. plus, your cute teddy bear pajamas made him smile. he sends his gratitude to god because he created a masterpiece. 

yeah, mark is deeply in love and he thinks there's no way out of this feeling. 

you were actually waiting for your breakfast, your pancakes from mcdonalds and a warm chocolate drink. when the delivery arrived, you paid and gave him a tip for being quick. you were about to go back inside when you heard a VERY familiar voice which was owned by the person who sleep deprived you 

"Y/N!" his voice was loud, it even cracked. 

"what are you doing here?" you asked.

"morning jog, and good morning to you." he replied and greeted at the same time.

"jog.." you paused and gasped. "from your condo to here?!" you exclaimed in disbelief. mark laughed at your reaction. of course it'll shock you because you already been in his condo and if he jogged it from there to here, he was supposed to be passing out right now.

"no, my family house is actually a few blocks away from here."  he said.

WHAT?! this is not good. you thought. the more he gets closer the more he has access to your mind and body. you masked your displeased face and just nodded.

"okay, ahm. i'm heading back now. bye." you pointed at your house door and awkwardly turned your back walking towards your door.

you expected him to do something because he always do that but to your disappointment he didn't. you looked back to check if he was stil there but he was no longer standing there but you saw him jogging away from your direction. you sighed in disappoinment that made you mentally slap yourself for feeling very contradicting .

you ate miserably your affordable and favorite pancake.

mark took a bathe and go down to eat breakfast together with his parents. they prayed before eating. the cooked food by his mom made him question why your ordered delivery food for breakfast.

"how's school?" mark's dad asked him.

"good, still the same." he replied.

"your father will lead a service, you can invite your classmates. oh mina, you can invite her, she's very sweet girl." his mom said but she doesn't have any motive. she knew mark have not interest in romantic relationship as of the moment, her child was so focus in maintaining his grades and scholarship. at least, that's what he though.. if she only knew.

"i'll try." he forced a smile but behind it was growing tiredness. he knew that his classmates doesn't really want to praise but because they were so fond of mark and they just love to hang out. it defeated the purpose of going to church.

after the breakfast, mark's parent left for their work. he washed the dishes and went up stairs and stayed in his room with his music and guitar. it helped to detach his mind from thinking of you, but it was just temporary as he saw you name appeared in his phone. he almost threw his guitar just to answer your call very quick.

"y/n? why?" he sound so excited.

"ahm, mark... well.. perhaps, do you ahm, have notes from yesterdays discussion? i mean in all cases, not just ours?" you were very stuttering because of shyness. your class have long test about the cases but you're notes are everywhere and you can't understand your writings.

"yes." he said. he knew where this is going. he quickly get out from his bed and go straight to his closet, choosing shirt to wear. "do you need it? i can bring it to you."

"no, no. ahm, you do digital notes right? mind if you could send it through gdrive?" you really don't want to bother him... nah lies. you're just preventing things from happening.

mark paused for a moment and was a little hurt, he understood your statement as if you don't want to see him. but mark will not having any of that.

"it was handwritten though." he faked sorry. he hoped you didn't notice what he did there, hoping that you received it as if it was literally handwritten like directly to paper since he sounded apologetic.

"oh... i see. well, ahm, can you drop by in the house?"

mark still not satisfied by just dropping by.

"how about we study together? we can review together."

you translated it like 'the smartest in your class can help you'and that's very tempting. you can't easily study 8 cases and you need him. you used his diuretics notes in lecture, you almost aced it. now, your lab needs him.

"then, pizza is okay for you?" you whisoered from the other end.

mark secretly fist pump and grinned in triumph.

"yes."

you spayed air freshener in your living room and changed your shirt to another shirt? you only have tees just in different colors, you changed your short into black sweatpants. you made sure that your hair was far different from the hair he saw this morning. you already ordered the pizza.

the doorbell rang. your quickly opened the door for him. mark was standing, carrying his ipad and his other hand holding a two milk teas in a cup holder. he's wearing dark blue t-shirt and gray sweatpants. you smiled awkwardly and let him in. you scanned his body, looking for paper or at least a piece of paper but you didn't see any of it. mark was looking down at you, watching you observing him.

"where's your notes?" you curiously asked.

"here." he lifted his ipad. your jaw dropped.

"i thought you did not do digital notes?"

"i don't recalling telling you i didn't, i just said it was handwritten and when i saif that handwritten in my ipad." he reasoned. taht made you think later realizing that he was right and that made you dumb.

you sighed in defeat.

"by the way, bought you milk tea since you missed it yesterday." he said, you acually don't care if you missed it or not.

you walked towards the single couch and patted it.

"you can seat here." you said.

he quickly sat down and put the milk teas on top of your living room's table. he confusingly watched you when you sat on the long couch and it was the end of it. you were too far from him.

you noticed his sulking face.

"mr. mark lee, what's with your long face?" you chuckled teasingly.

"why are you too far from me?" he pouted.

"damage control." you replied shortly and get your case 3 notes which is very illegible to read. "can i borrow your case 3?"

"why? what did i do?" mark asked was clueless. he did not pay attention to your question

"mark, being alone with you is not healthy anymore." you directly answered him.

"orgasm is healthy, what do you mean?" mark didn't get your.

"mark, that's not what i mean. we're like horny teenagers doing unappropriate things."

"we're already passed in that phase in life, we're both adults." he rebutted.

you mentally face palmed yourself in frustration. why is he so smart and dumb at the same time.

"mark, that's not why i mean. we're being to touchy, every time we are left alone the next thing we knew we're touching each other. do you know how scary was that to me? it only happened twice but i am already longing for more! when i don't feel your touches i go craaazy! i even touched myself for freaking 2-" you froze when you realize what you were telling him you stared blankly at him.

on the other hand, mark was very pleased hearing you exploded from frustration as you became honest for the first time.

"you touched yourself? what 2?" he smirked and lifted his brows.

you cleared your throat.

"can i borrow your ipad? i need your case 3." you murmured and look anywhere but him your face heat up. you want to be swallowed by your favorite sofa.

"then get it."

you look at his ipad sitting on his manly wide spread apart thighs. your eyes stared at the mark that makes your knees weak and wet pussy. his fiery eyes looking directly toyou while he was sitting comfortably on the couch and arms are both in each side of the armrest.

"mark lee, i need it." you tried to use your stern voice but failed because your voice was too small.

"i told you, you can get it.. here." he glanced at his ipad.

you gulped and the living room's air became thick. your submissive self switched on and you just found yourself walking towards him. your hands felt cold as you reached for his ipad. when you lifted it, his bulge forming in his gray sweatpants made you almost drool. you were reminded how fucking hot it was.

you want to touch it and do anything you can possibly could but your single rational braincells keeping you in the light.

"you don't seem sure of what you really wanted to do." he snapped you from overthinking. "should i make you choices?"

"what?" you asked confusingly but your voice was shaking.

"you bring that ipad with you and go back to where you were sitting, or..." he looked up to you with his dark eyes, leaning a little forward you trace the side of your hips with his palm..

"put the ipad on the table and sit in my lap."

mark knew that you can never say no at this state. if you could only see how your body shivered and how defeated your face was, he knew you already gave in.

and his was right.

the original draft was deleted because of my stupidity 😭 idk think this is good as the original draft.

hello, some of you asked me if i have a tag list, i will be creating one.

✨if you want to be added in I'm Right For You Tag List, you can DM or Ask me so i can add you ✨

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Tag List:

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anyways, i would like to say thank you for supporting this story. i did not expect some of you will like it. i also want to thanks people who leaving message through dms and ask praising this story. also to those nctzens hearting it 🥺🤗

[unsettledink]

Kinktober Day 29

Glutted

Prompt: Come Inflation

Word Count: 1914

Summary: There are certain advantages to Peter being able to come and come and come and come.

(bottom!Tony, bodily fluids, belly bulges, mild humiliation, sex marathon, idk quite how to tag some of it?) 

*

It's so easy when Peter pushes into him again, so easy and slow and wet. "God, Tony," Peter whispers. "You're so soft, so hot."

So stretched out, Tony thinks, so used and fucked out that even with nothing in it, his ass is probably still gaping wide open. "Sloppy," he mumbles as Peter rocks into him, sloppy enough that he can feel some come leaking out around Peter's cock.

"That too," Peter agrees, and he sounds a little dazed again.

Tony can still help a little right now, grinding back onto Peter's cock and tightening around it as Peter fucks him. He stopped coming himself—what, four rounds ago? At least—but he couldn't care less, perfectly content to let Peter keep going like this, as long as he wants. As long as they both want.

It aches just a little as Peter thrusts, but all it does it make Tony spread his legs further apart, sink into it. Focus on that and nothing else, on Peter's cock, how it feels bigger, thicker now that Tony's a little swollen. Focus on the wetness of it, the sound of it as Peter speeds up, noisy and squelching and messy.

Focus on the feel of Peter coming, shoved in as far as he can go, yet another ridiculously large load deep inside Tony. They'd measured it, after the first time Tony saw Peter come and got to tell him that no, most people did not shoot off that much at a time.

That'd been fun.

Peter sighs, slipping out of him, and Tony echoes him when he feels the blunt head of the plug pressing back in. Sighs again when Peter rolls him over, tucks Tony up along his front and kisses his neck, nuzzling in and settling there, sleepy.

*

Peter's kissing him, soft kisses that trail up his cheek, to the edge of his jaw. It's almost not enough to pull Tony out of his half asleep daze, but it at least starts to. "Thirsty?" Peter asks. He must have gone off for another refuel.

Tony shakes his head. "I'm fine," he mumbles. "Just—"

"Full?" Peter finishes for him, grinning.

"Not enough."

"Fuck, Tony," Peter says. "I don't know— we've been doing this a while."

"You're out?" Tony asks.

"No." Peter shakes his. "No, not even close," and Tony groans.

"Then yes," Tony says, closing his eyes again. "Yes, more."

Peter slides down behind him, his hand spreading over the curve of Tony's ass, exposing him. Stays there, rubbing and kneading as Tony hears Peter start up again, hears the wet sound of Peter's hand on his cock. He'd stopped fucking Tony a couple rounds back; Tony would have let him, but Peter had snapped at him, finally. 'I want to fill you up,' he'd said, 'not fuck you raw.'

Little late for that to be completely true, but Tony doesn't mind a bit.

Peter moans, pressing his face against Tony's back, and his hand slides down, brushing over the plug and pushing it in more, making Tony groan before Peter pulls it out. Tony tries, but there's still a little rush of fluid trickling down his leg; Peter catches it with his thumb and smears it across Tony's hole, pushing it back in. Pushing his cock in too, just the head, leaving it there and jacking off faster, his hand bumping up against Tony's ass. It's incredibly hot like this, Peter not even fucking him, like Tony's nothing but a vessel for his come.

Maybe he can't come, can't even get hard at this point, but it doesn't make him feel less turned on as Peter comes inside him again, even easier to feel this shallow. Doesn't keep him from wanting to come when Peter stays there, just like that, breathing deeply against Tony's skin until he's hard again, getting off in Tony again without ever moving from that very spot. Doesn't stop him from fucking whimpering when Peter pulls out and shoves the plug back in, fast, before any more can escape.

Doesn't mean he doesn't want more.

*

Peter comes in his mouth the next couple of times, takes advantage of Tony's exhaustion, the way he can barely hold his head up at all, to fuck deep into his throat, harder and faster than he'd been fucking Tony's ass the last few times. It's all the same in the end, Tony thinks as he swallows and swallows and swallows, swallows until he starts to feel almost sick, his stomach roiling. He pulls off Peter's cock the second Peter's come, before he can start up again; "Wait," he rasps.

"What's wrong?" Peter says, dropping down next to him.

"Just— too much at once," Tony says, swallowing hard, eyes closed. "Ugh, I feel gross."

"That's cause you are gross," Peter says, so kind, and kisses his cheek. "Think sitting up will help?" Tony shrugs, but when Peter hauls him up, propped up against Peter's chest,  even if his ass hurts more like this, he does feel a little better. 

And a lot more full.

Peter's hands drift down, settling over Tony’s stomach. Touching it, ever so lightly, slowly smoothing over the slight swell of it. Tony shudders, turning his face into Peter's neck, and Peter moans. "Tony," he whispers, "Tony, Tony, fuck."

He's rocking against Tony, rubbing his dick along the cleft of Tony's ass; "Don't waste it," Tony tells him.

"Fuck," Peter mutters, "can't— still? More, still?"

"Yeah," Tony says. "More, baby. Wanna feel it. Want you to feel it."

"I can," Peter says, pressing his fingers into Tony's stomach.

"More," Tony says.

*

He loses track of time somewhere in there. He lost track of how many times Peter's come ages ago, but he couldn't tell you now if it's midday or night or morning again. Couldn't tell you if it's been an hour, or half, or ten minutes since Peter last came in him.

Can't move even, can't think, can't take much more. Peter's taken care of him, such good care of him, so the only reason he's uncomfortable is because of what's in him. Is because he's so full, swollen and filled to near bursting with Peter's come, Peter who can keep coming and coming and coming until even Tony is finally satisfied.

He's so swollen that his stomach—his whole abdomen—hurts. Aches, the skin feeling like it's stretched too tight, even the slightest pressure on it nearly painful. It's better when he's on his side, curled around it, but Peter's got him stretched out on his back, the swell of his body obvious like this. Huge, like this. Tender, Peter's touch almost too much as he strokes over the curve of it, slow and gentle, mesmerized. He leans in and kisses just above Tony's belly button, so softly, and Tony groans.

Groans again as Peter kisses lower, scatters kisses all over his skin, stretched tight by the sheer ridiculous, insane amount of Peter's come trapped in him.

"Peter," Tony whispers, reaching for his head. "Peter, baby, I can't."

All along, it's been Peter asking, Peter checking so carefully if Tony still wants more, if it's too much, are you sure Tony, are you sure. It's been Peter, so Tony doesn't even understand at first, the way Peter looks at him, like he's drunk, and doesn't say 'okay'.

Says instead, "One more, Tony. Please? Just one more."

"Peter, I can't," Tony says, even the thought of one more drop of come in him making him want to cry.

Peter kisses the side of his bulge, carefully. Looks up at him through his eyelashes. "Please," he says. "Just one more. For me."

Tony whimpers, but he doesn't protest again when Peter crawls down and hooks his arms under Tony's legs. Doesn't beg Peter not to when Peter pulls the plug out, slow, careful, replacing it with the head of his cock immediately.

Doesn't look away from Peter's gaze when Peter starts fucking him, for real, like he hasn't in hours, every nerve in Tony's ass sore and aching, even as loose as he is. Fucks him hard, fast, pushing Tony's legs up further and leaning forward over him, and it hurts, not just Peter's cock pounding into him, but the extra pressure on his stomach, the way it's so swollen Peter has to lean hard on it to kiss him— and does, even as Tony squirms and gasps. He'd be leaking if it wasn't for Peter's cock plugging him up, and he can't do anything except lie here and take it, can't want anything but to lie here and take it.

One more, Peter had said, one more for him, and even if Tony doesn't think he can bear one more, he still wants it.

Gets it, Peter gasping above him and stilling, cock throbbing in Tony's ass. He pulls out, slowly, lowering Tony's legs and smoothing his hand over the bulge of Tony's stomach, soothing this time as the pressure is relieved somewhat. Tony clenches down as Peter's cock slides out of him; the head pops out with an obscene wet noise, and Tony's trying but he's too loose to keep everything in. "No," he whispers as he feels thick drops start to slide down his ass, "Peter, the plug, come on, quick."

"No," Peter says, leaning up and kissing him, Tony trembling as he tries to keep it all in. "So much, Tony," Peter murmurs. "So fucking much, so full, god Tony, look at you."

"Peter," Tony pleads, because he's losing the battle here. "I'm going to—"

"Shhh," Peter says. "I know," and then his hand is on Tony's stomach, flattened out and pressing down so hard; Tony yelps, trying to jerk away, and the sudden movement does him in.

"Oh fuck," Tony says as he feels it, "fuck, no!" but it's useless, there's no going back. No stopping the flood of come that rushes out of him, all over the bed and his legs and his ass, thick and wet and utterly humiliating. No stopping it, especially not with Peter leaning over him, pressing down on his stomach, rubbing it as it empties and pushing lower, forcing out every last drop he can.

Peter's staring down between Tony's legs, eyes wide, and Tony wants to curl up and hide; he'd thought having Peter help him the toilet and then leaving would be embarrassing enough, but this— this— 

"Oh my god, Tony," Peter breathes out. "That was— that was all in you, that was all— fuck, I can't believe you could hold that. I can't— oh my god," and then he's folding over, hand still low on Tony's abdomen, burying his face in the new hollow of Tony's stomach, nuzzling into it.

That— was not the reaction he'd expected.

Tony brings his hand to the back of Peter's head, threading his fingers through his hair; Peter turns his face until he can look at Tony, still pressed against Tony's belly. "I'm losing my mind," Peter says. "That was so hot I can't even think, okay?"

"Yeah," Tony says, and it's all too much as well, all way too much. "Me too, kid."

He feels like he could pass out, he's so worn down, so completely used up. Peter blinks at him, trying to burrow into him even further, and then freezes.

Looks at Tony, a grin slowly stretching across his face, and yeah, Tony heard it too. "Are you hungry?" Peter asks, incredulously.

"Well," Tony says. "I'm not full anymore."

[yakulthy]

Synopsis

Description;

Oikawa Tooru felt neglected by Iwaizumi Hajime's actions so he decided to go to a bar and met this stranger who will he share a sinful night.

Oikawa felt neglected, anxious and hurt. As he stares at the two person laughing inside the cafe sitting in a table. He clenched his fist as he see Iwaizumi smiling at the girl who's infront of him.

'Wow, what the hell? He rejected to be with me because he said he will study and now..what did i see? What the fuck?' Oikawa thought to himself as he walk towards them.

The two of them didn't know that Oikawa was walking towards them with annoyance and dark aura. They didn't even know, because they were laughing so happily.

'Why are you like that, Iwaizumi? You're laughing so happily with someone else but when you're with me you always says you're pissed by my presence'

Mixed up feelings are getting fed up by his whole body as he sees the one he loves with someone else that...should be him, because Iwaizumi choose that girl over him and that hurts..

'Don't you trust your Iwa-chan, Tooru?' A voice in his mind said that followed by another.

'He do trust his Iwa-chan but why does he didn't tell our precious Tooru that his going to meet is a God damn girl. It's kinda suspicious to me,right,Oikawa?'

'If he trust his Iwa-chan then why'd he planning to go over there and disturb them. Tooru, they are just studying.'

'If it's just studying why did he choose to study in a cafe where, a lot of people is here and to much noises you can hear, it's hard to study and focus here yet he still chooses this place than the peaceful library? It's suspicious date for me.'

That's right, Iwa-chan hate crowded places when he is studying. He hate being disturb and noisy places because he can't focus. That's literally suspicious.

'Is he cheating on me?' Oikawa said to himself that made his heart throb in pain just thinking of it it makes Oikawa suffocate in pain. He can't handle that prediction, if it turns outs true. He can't handle loosing his Iwaizumi.

'No not his Iwa-chan..'

He handed out his phone and dialed Iwaizumi's number while walking towards to where they are while his mind is keep arguing if Iwaizumi is cheating or he just being paranoid,again.

"Haji-chan, your phone is ringing." The girl said.

"Haji-chan? Did the girl call Iwa-chanm Haji-chan?" Oikawa mumbled to himself while his lips are slightly open because of the shock that the girl just gave Iwa-chan a nickname that Iwaizumi really hates.

Iwaizumi didn't even glance at his phone screen when he turned it off. And look at the girl and then smiled at her. "Nah, it's not important, continue." Iwaizumi said and smiled.

Oikawa felt his chest throbs in pain while his heart shattered into million pieces. He bit his lips in anger while glaring at the back of Iwaizumi's head.

'Iwaizumi didn't get mad at that girl who just gave him a nickname? He didn't argue about that? And why did he smile so easily? Why?'Oikawa thought to himself.

'It's because he's cheating on you, Oikawa' a voice in his mind talk again.

'No, he's not.' Another one said.

'Then explain why did he not give a fight when that girl called him that? 'Haji-chan,your phone is ringing' Haji-chan not Iwaizumi.'

'What's the big deal with that?'

'Are you dumb? Iwaizumi doesn't want to be called by silly nicknames, he get furious, even if it's, he's boyfriend. He throw a fit.'

"Unbelievable,fucking unbelievable, Iwaizumi."

Oikawa mumbled as he stamp his feet and walk out to the cafe. He go to the highway. Where he can find a cab and ride to go to the nearest night club.He wants to be with Iwaizumi but Iwaizumi refused and neglected him so Oikawa did is go to a bar.

'Why does if it's me who wants to be with you, you always rejected me. Is it really that how annoying to be with me? so you choose her instead of your boyfriend?'

"I don't understand,Iwaizumi."

Oikawa waited for a few minutes until a cab finally stop in front of him. He then look again at his Iwa-chan who was blushing so hard while the girl he is with, is now laughing happily.

'I guess your way more happy and way more comfortable with her. Iwaizumi '

Oikawa sometimes wondered if Iwaizumi really date him because he loves him not because its convenient or he just get annoyed by the teased of everyone around them.

'Than being with me, your boyfriend, who always annoyed you, make you look stupid.'

"Did you ever love me, Iwaizumi?" Oikawa smiled and hop in the cab who was waiting for him to come in.

Because Iwaizumi always make him feel that he didn't love him even once,  its not that he's being demanding or what,but he also needs love. Oikawa needs Iwaizumi affections, that Iwaizumi didn't gave to Oikawa.

Oikawa wants love,

Oikawa wants affection,

Oikawa wants Iwaizumi but Iwaizumi actions are telling Oikawa to fuck off. Oikawa is getting tired., in this relationship that he only wants to get throughout this years, he is the one who just keeping the both ties, holding it tight so it won't loosen.

Oikawa shuts the door and look at the window of the cab that made him sad even more when he sees he's-no, Iwaizumi was now laughing with that girl.

"Where to?" The cab driver said that made Oikawa look at him.

But, Oikawa is now tired to hold on to that loosen ties.

"At the nearest bar." Oikawa said as he lower his head so he can hide his tears that's like a fall, streaming down to his face as he say to himself.

"It hurts,Iwaizumi."

yakulthy's note,

Kon'nichiwa, I'm yakulthy but you can call me Thy! Gomene for being too lazy to update this. Gomene ><!! This is the synopsis of this story, the chapter 1 is not yet done, so maybe, i will write it later on. Gomene!! I will update this maybe tomorrow or next week. Please,stay tuned! And you can also leave some feedbacks in the picture up there, where Oikawa is crying, that will be highly appreciated!!That's all, Gomawa for reading this!! Wuvwuv!!🥺❤

Or maybe here, you can leave your feedbacks,comments, complain, thoughts here!! Just long press this text and click the message Icon(?) (If im right, please correct me if I'm wrong.) That's all!

[mysynthfetish]

Um, Yeah.

Well it's damn near March already. What the hell? Where does the time go?

The whole world is in a huff about COVID-19, and here in Japan too, obviously, but people are in full-on freakout mode. First thing they did was go on a panic-buying-spree of masks, like surgical masks, you know, the ones everyone here wears when it's either flu or hay fever season. So, there's a shortage of masks now. "ONE BOX PER CUSTOMER!!" signs at the shops with any remaining stock. For me, the funniest thing is that masks do not prevent the wearer from catching a virus. The seal around the face is not perfect, so guess what, shit don't work. Unless you strap on a military grade chemical warfare motherfucker of a mask, like with the filter cans and shit? Nope. I mean, even the homepage of the WHO where you can find a coronavirus FAQ says so ("BUT THE WHO IS CONTROLLED BY THE UN AND THEY'RE SECRETLY OUT TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD SO YOU CAN'T TRUST THAT!!!!" yeah yeah yeah. Shame. On. You). But nahhhh who cares about actually using your head and thinking about how viruses spread. See, the masks work (sorta) when worn by people already infected, as they trap most of the fun stuff ejected by a sneeze or a cough. Not all of it. We can still hope for some fun to be shared among the general populace can we not? Ahhh but it's easier to be a total idiot and follow the herd mentality and panic-buy useless shit. Then there was the fiasco with the cruise ship and not letting passengers disembark, and then it turns out a number were let off without having to go through screening, but the Chinese are still being confined to quarters blah blah blah. Jeeezus Fucking Christ EVERYTHING is made in China anyway, from rubber dog shit to the (probably) fake ICs in your military hardware to your beloved smartphones and related devices, shit, even the incessant machine-diarrhea geyser of clone synths too, so what the hell is the big deal about a potentially pandemic-level megavirus every few years? Chinavirus. Next in the ongoing series. Personally, I don't really care where the viruses originate, and to tell the truth, I get a warm feeling inside when people lose their shit over stuff like this, and even warmer when the death toll rises and rises. Can't think of a better species to get a good culling than the old homo sapiens. Heh. Mister Misanthrope at your service! But anyway.....

Found this ancient beast sitting forgotten and forlorn in a closet at work. It's a Luxman 38FD "High Fidelity Stereo Integrated Amplifier" made around 1970 (like me!). It is in near fucking mint condition. HEAVY. AS. FUCK. And the winningest part of the whole thing besides it being destined for the Big Garbage pile and as a result free for the taking? IT WORKS. Oh, and even better...

IT'S A VACUUM TUBE AMP!!! Those are the main tubes, 50CA10, pretty much but not totally unobtanium. Yeah, they fucking glow a warm orangey red, and after a bit you can see blue vapor inside. Well, if you turn off all the lights and take the top cover off. It runs hot as fuck too. I was just shocked the thing worked. It's sitting comfortably atop the desk in the lair, where you'd normally park a printer, with a pair of Yamaha NS-100X speakers on risers above it. Sounds great. There's considerably more noise (hiss?) than a modern amp, but with the volume knob raised to about 10 o'clock, it's already loud enough that the hiss isn't even a consideration anymore, and any louder would be asking for trouble with the neighbors. I can't believe it because the amp is supposed to be a mere 30 watts per channel. I guess 30 watts from vacuum tubes is a hell of a lot different from even triple that from a modern amp. LOUD!!! So yay me.

Oh and speaking of viruses....

I was watching this one on the auction for about a month and a half. The opening bid started out at around $1700 but nobody bid, and the auction ended, and one option here on the yahoo auction is for an automatic re-listing with the opening bid discounted by a certain percent. I watched for a while, then just when I'd forgotten about it, it came up in the look-at-me feed and the price was down to a grand so I bid on it and won. I had one of these before and regretted selling it, thus the TI Polar in my arsenal now, but the 61-key TI has THE BEST keys ever. Feels so good to play. Fatar! I thought yeah ok I'll just say see ya to the Polar and call it even. But... Hmm... Wait... One thing led to another and in the end I decided to keep both the viruses and... and...... and...... sell the ION. Say WHAT?!?! After all the work and repairs and maintenance and customizing LEDs and and and and.... Yeah. It's a hell of a synth, no doubt about it, but I think anything with the Alesis logo on it has a very definite shelf-life. The pots are gonna go, a few are acting up already, and those are unobtanium unless you wanna shell out the dosh and buy from syntaur. You can't get NOS pots either. So... After some serious deep-thinking and careful consideration and deliberation I had to say to myself, "self, it's a wonderful machine capable of some great sounds, but it's only 8-voice polyphonic, there are barely any effects to mention, ok sure the mod matrix and plethora of filter models and waveshaping are fantastic, but you know how ridiculously MORE powerful the Virus TI is almost every respect!" And I admitted defeat. To myself. Weird, I know. But there you go. I don't think I know anyone with two Virus TI (or TI2) synths in their collection. Maybe Anthony Rother. I know he has two IONs. 

Ahhhh but this 61-key virus wasn't without problems. Uh, well, OK one BIG problem. The power supply shat itself when I turned it on for the first time. The LCD sorta flashed, there was a brief sign of life with some of the LEDs, but then blip! Nothing. Aaaaargh! Unseat the power cable, reseat it, try again. Nothing, just a high-pitched whine that was getting louder. I put my head up against the front panel, listening for where the whine was coming from, and figured out it was the far right side. That's where the PSU is. Then suddenly the sound changed to a higher pitch that swept downwards over the course of a few seconds, all the while sputtering like it had a downward sawtooth filter on it, then POP! No more sound. When I opened the case up, I immediately remembered that for whatever reason, Access decided to go with a PSU like you'd use with a laptop computer, the big brick-like deals, and that they'd carefully bracketed the brick in so that the eyeglass-socket for the plug lined up with the hole in the rear panel. OK so all I needed to do was find a same-rating PSU and then go about modding the bracket so cosmetically it would look from-the-factory. Incidentally, I contacted Access and asked about parts, but the rep said they don't have any more PSUs for the TI series, only ones for the TI2 series, and that they aren't the same size so when they do the repair, they put a DC jack on the rear panel and the PSU gets left out—goes from internal to external if you catch my drift. Well, no thank you, I do not care for that approach, no sir, I didn't wanna go that route at all. So, thanks to having access to a drill press and diamond-saw dremel tools at work, I made the necessary mods to the bracket, padded it a bit so it would securely hold the new PSU in place, and in the end you can't tell it isn't a factory PSU (from the outside). Yay me, part two.

This is the bracket, post choppy-grindy. Yeah so I "secured" the cabling with Scotch 33+... Hey, from the factory it was held down with hot glue!

Yeah that's where it attached to the PCB. CHEEKY!!!!!!!

Not bad, right? You'd never know. But I've told you, so now you know. Oh and the PSU was $22 from a local parts chain (Marutsu). I think Access wants about $50 but I think that includes free shipping anywhere in the world. I'm just glad it's working fine now.

Other goings on... I've sold the Timeline and Space pedals, and used part of the proceeds to pick up a Sony DPS-D7 delay and a DPS-R7 reverb to use in their place. But the D7 had a wonky input knob that actually broke off in my fucking hand the second time I went to use it. That pot is super unobtanium, so I thought I'd just epoxy the broke-off-bit and not worry about separately controlling the input levels for the L and R channels (does anyone even DO that?)... Here's the pot.

Even after it was epoxied back together, it was fucking bent as fuck. Red line shows the angle, blue arrow shows where the epoxy ghetto fix went down. I saw another D7 listed as-is for $10 and nobody bid so I won it, and I had intended to just cannibalize the pot, but it turns out that it has a newer OS and it works fucking fine, so that was kind of a head-scratcher. People are weird. This delay is stupid deep. There's a multi-tap algorithm that has like 40 separately programmable taps, each with its own level, pan, feedback, and all that. The reverb (R7) is just as insane with parameters... Dudes, and dudettes, seriously, you need some deep-sea rated scuba gear to really get to grips with these Sony DPS motherfuckers. DEEEEEEEEEEEP AS FUCK. I've owned these before too. Had the F7 Filter too. That thing had a 40-band vocoder and a multi-part digital drum synth in it!? Man I think the engineers at Sony had access to some GOOD drugs back when they were working on this line of effects processors. Seriously. I mean, I love programming, but even I was intimidated by the sheer amount of programmability in these things. The ones I had before were a bit noisy, but these aren't at all. Strange. Fun shit though. Oh and there's this:

Ah fuck, looks a bit out of focus. That right there is a TOA DE-1000 delay. Rare as shit, and this one is in NEW condition. Insane! I've had this one on my radar for a while. Why? Because it's fucking WEIRD!!!! So the max delay time is 255ms or something really not that long at all, but you've got three to control: Left, Center and Right. Individual times (LEDs) and levels (white sliders), plus global wet/dry and feedback, AND modulation time and depth sliders. SLIDERS!!?? Ok it only has four memory slots, and no MIDI, but you can get up to some good mischief with this thing. Last two goodies to blab about:

Top: SONICWARE ELZ_1. What a weirdo synth. I heard that it's a raspberry pi under the hood but really? Who cares. It can do some off the wall shit. A handful of wacky synth engines, topped off by four effects processors at the end. And it has a speaker. My only complaint is no DIN MIDI, just USB and you have to buy a class compliant dealie. I suppose I should do so before I forget. Sounds pretty damn good though, and it does things that I've not heard other synths do. Built well. Fun to play and fun to program. Runs on batteries. Worth looking into. I was so impressed with this that I backed their next project (a groove box type thing it seems). Bottom: KORG AM8000R. This fucker does some WEIRD SHIT! I had one before (and its delay counterpart, the DL8000R) and for whatever reason didn't hold on to them. I think I was looking for more bread and butter, set it and forget it type effects. This was really cheap and it's in great shape. I don't think so many people know about these. Relatively easy to program, and you can get some really good, usable stuff as well as some super far out WTF stuff. The WARP! knob is good fun too.

Oh I suppose it's worth mentioning that I had an album released by Anti Gravity Device out of Tokyo a few weeks ago. Let's see if I can find a link...

https://anti-gravity-device.bandcamp.com/album/black-rainbows-agd036

Have a listen. It's stuff I recorded from about November through December last year, maybe even the first week of January this year. Live jam format, no master sequencer, wish I was an octopus because two arms and ten fingers just wasn't enough type stuff. All hardware. Fun!

So, my invisible tumblrpeeps, it's been a busy 2020 so far here. More things in the works. Keep your eyes peeled. Stay well. Watch out for number one, and don't step in number two. (thanks, Carlin!)

[demonsrunningwithangels]

Then I'll "can't" with you

A/N: just a little steve rogers x reader Drabble. I’m having a really bad anxiety day. Captain America and Wonder Woman were my only friends as a kid and when I would be on edge then I’d pretend they would help me. Guess what I’m saying is maybe Steve ruined me for all men. He’s always been my comfort. So here’s what’s my noisy brain cooked up.

——————

I don’t even remember why I’m in here. I guess I always felt safer hiding in closets. That’s where I went as as kid when I was scared of my dad because he hit me again or if I just couldn’t do anything anymore. Old habits die hard.

I sat in my walk in closet. My phone beside me face down. I can’t bear to even look at it. It’s like the words will hurt me. Wrapped up in my blankets hoping that it will help me pull it together. I can’t let him see me like this.

I keep telling myself he doesn’t need this mess. Steve Rogers is a good man with the weight of the world on his shoulders. He was so scared to even consider dating me because he knew it would mean danger for me. I guess my awkward charm won him over.

And how do I thank him for being so open and taking that chance? Ignoring the fifth call no doubt from him, wrapped up like a human burrito, crying because I’m too scared to leave my house. What a catch.

The tears rolling down my face are so hot. It’s getting harder to breathe. I know what this is but it’s like I can’t stop.

“He’s going to be here. You not answering him will get him worried. Then he’ll see what you really are. A scared little girl. He doesn’t have time for that. You’re not worth the effort.”

It’s on replay. Silent tears. I close my eyes and try to remember to breathe. It’s so hard. I’m such a mess.

It’s probably why I didn’t hear the door. Or him calling out to me. I jumped when I felt him touch me.

“Hey now….you had me worried when you didn’t answer. What’s wrong?”

I shake my head. I can’t even look at him. I think I said nothing.

His thumbs wipe the tears from my cheeks. “These aren’t nothing.”

“Please Steve” my voice doesn’t even sound like me. “I just can’t.”

He lifts my chin and I see the worry etched into that handsome face I don’t deserve, “ then I’ll just can’t with you.”

What little will I had goes away and I break. Why does he care so much. The tears and the broken sobs that come from me pull and tear at me. It’s hurts so much. I’m falling into it and I can’t stop.

Then I realize that I’m not. I’m pressed against him. His arms wrapped around me, rocking me like an upset child. I try to push him away but he won’t let me go. It makes me sob even more. Why won’t he let me go?

“Told you I’ve got you no matter what come at us” I must have said that last part out loud. He runs his fingers through my hair. “ I’m right here. I’ve got you. Sssshhh.”

I know I screamed “I can’t,” over and over. He never stopped telling me that he was here, that he had me, and to shush. Why does he do it? I’m not worth it. “I can’t.” My chest hurts. I’m so hot.

“I know love. I know. I know one thing you can do. It’s easy, I promise.” He’s rubbing my back. “You can breathe. That’s all you need to do right now.”

I shake my head. I can’t even swallow.

“You can. I know it. We’re going to sit right here and we’re just going to breathe together. Just do what I do. Can you try for me?”

I sniffle.

“You don’t have to talk. Just breathe. Just really focus on doing what I do. I’m not going to talk. Just focus on matching up with me.”

It’s only then I realize how my chest is heaving; gasping for air. I close my eyes. My head is pressed to his chest and I can hear is the steady rhythm that has been my rock for the past few months.

I can feel myself trying. He’s showing me how to get air again. I can’t match up with him right away. But the more I just listen, just worry about breathing alone the easier it gets. I don’t know how long we’re like this or how long before we’re breathing together but I remember knowing we were.

“That’s my girl,” he presses a kiss to my temple.

I still can’t talk. I just want to be right here. I’m safe. Nothing bad is happening. I’m okay. He’s okay. We’re okay.

He touches me like I was made of glass. Soft but firm. Careful not to break me but also not to let me slip out of his grip.

“I’m sorry.” That’s all I can manage.

“Nothin to be sorry for.”

“I scared you.”

“You’re okay now. That’s what important. What scared me is you not answering my call. I had to be sure you were all right.” He strokes my hair and keeps rocking me.

“I’m not worth it,” I whisper, “ the weight of the whole world is on you and I’m a mess. I get so freaked out sometimes. You don’t….”

“None of that. I couldn’t love a worthless person. You’re strong. You’re important. You matter. I’ve got strong enough shoulders for the weight of it all.”

“But the burden isn’t yours Atlas.”

“But I choose to bear it.”

“I’m so fucked up. I’m broken and wrong.”

He pulls me away, while still keeping a hand on my back, “look at me. Please.”

My head feels like it weighs 100 pounds. I manage to lift my head and meet those deep blue eyes. Filled with concern, love and strength.

“You have an illness. Just like any other one on Earth except yours isn’t always visible. Right now, in these moments, I can see it. I see what it does to my beautiful girl. I can see you struggling. And your tears make me feel the hurt and pain and fear right along with you. Despite all of that, I know you aren’t defined by what you have. I know it attacks your soul and you go to war every day. I know what war does to you, how tired it can make you. But I also know that you won’t surrender. You’ll keep fighting.”

“How can you love this? This person I am.”

“Because you’ve fought every day of your life to become her. How could anyone not love a warrior.”

I felt the tears slip down again. “I do love you. The world and this anxiety makes it so loud that sometimes I can’t hear myself anymore.”

“Well then,” he kisses my forehead, “days when the world gets too loud. Days like today. I’ll just love you louder.”

I lean forward and snuggle myself against him again. I close my eyes and yawn.

He doesn’t say anything. Just stands with me in his arms and walks us to my bed. He lays me down and brushes my hair back.

“Stay with me.”

“How can I say no” he slips off his shoes and climbs over me. He slips an arm under my head and uses the other to pull me to him.

“Please be here when I wake up.”

“You got it,” he kisses one spot of my skin, “ just rest love. I’ll be right here.”

I can feel my eyes get heavier and I relax against him. Tomorrow we can talk. But right now, this is what I need. The man that loves me and can see me even in the grips of my anxiety. The man that can bring me back to life when all I want is to be gone.

And in that moment between awake and sleep I hear his voice.

“You look so peaceful like this. I hated seeing you so upset. I know when I’ve been away it makes you worry. And you’re alone. One day you won’t have to ask me to stay. It’ll be our bed in our house. You’ll never be alone again. Sooner rather than later. I just have to ask you. God, I hope you’ll say yes.”