#The baritone is Laurent Naouri

[lives-in-a-harpsichord]

Exit stage right, carried by a baritone

[infinitelytheheartexpands]

Oh do tell us your top 5 for other voice types as well👀

DAMMIT SOFIA

okay:

currently-active sopranos:

Lisette Oropesa—love her in everything y’all know this

Marina Rebeka—Mathilde and Thaïs

Karita Mattila—Salome and the Kostelnicka

Sondra Radvanovsky—the Trovatore Leonora and the Ballo Amelia

Rachel Willis-Sørensen—Donna Anna, Hélène, and Valentine

currently-active mezzos/contraltos:

Joyce DiDonato—literally not possible to pick

Elīna Garanca—once again, not able to pick

Stephanie Blythe—why am I not able to pick

Angela Brower—the Muse/Nicklausse

and like every young French mezzo out there right now why is France making so many good mezzos right now it’s not even fair

currently-active baritones:

Ludovic Tézier—physically incapable of choosing

Artur Rucinski—Francesco, Enrico Ashton, Lescaut

Ambrogio Maestri—Falstaff

Alessandro Corbelli—Gianni Schicchi, Don Magnifico

Peter Mattei—just about everything???

currently-active basses/bass-baritones:

Laurent Naouri—Pandolfe, Fieramosca, Mamma Agata, the Four Villains

Michele Pertusi—Don Pasquale and the mayor dude from La gazza ladra for some reason

Gerald Finley—Guillaume Tell

John Relyea—Alidoro, Basilio, the Four Villains

Ferruccio Furlanetto—Filippo, duh

[monotonous-minutia]

top 5 baritones and/or baritone roles

Hmmm...

The order varies depending on the day but I'd say this:

1) Figaro!

2) Rodrigue de Posa

3) Plumkett (from Martha)

4) Le Comte de Nevers

5) Lindorf (technically I think he's a bass but he's often played by baritones)

As far as baritone performers...(order can also change depending on the day)

1) Simon Keenlyside

2) Laurent Naouri

3) Peter Mattei

4) Luca Pisaroni

5) Dmitri Hvorostovsky

Thanks!

[jinhogae]

what are some of your favourite classical pieces that you'd recommend?

ahhhhh, this is one of the loveliest asks i've ever gotten! fair warning, this might get long, and will yet still remain an entirely insufficient list as i will try and narrow it down to mostly pieces that are very dear to me <333

nocturne no. 2 in e-flat by chopin: this is one of the first, if not the first classical piece i ever consciously got attached to. i heard it for the first time nearly ten years ago and it had a massive, massive impact on me. i don't even know what it was or why, but it's been a piece of home to me ever since.

swan lake's moderato by tchaikovsky: it's the one from the top of the second act, yes the one. i know that is basic as hell, but i never cared much for any particular piece in this ballet until i worked on it. this was my most listened to song on spotify since early spring of 2019. the staging for this scene when i worked on this show basically made me cry every time. the moment the crescendo builds, the horns drop away and then come back in is so chilling. i think nothing gives me goosebumps like it.

gute nacht from die winterreise by franz schubert: i want to tattoo this entire song into my brain and my ears and just my self. it is the first number of a piano cycle based on german poet's wilhelm müller's winterreise, and it's just so enchanting. every word is so tenderly laced together and sung. "a stranger i arrived, hence a stranger i depart." unhinged me every time i heard it sung live.

them by niels frahm (for the victoria ost): can this be considered strictly classical? i can't say because the terms of what counts as classical are as narrow as they're wide. it's modern classic to me, or at least a more modern approach. i prefer piano over strings and this is a simple piece, but one that felt like coming home since i heard it in the film it belongs to and listened to nothing else the summer i graduated from high school. it's haunting and aching and perfect.

alzati la tuo figlio / eri tu che macchiavi quell'anima by verdi from un ballo in maschera: two arias sang back to back by the baritone role (renato) in this hell-scape of an opera. i do not fuck with the english version of this show. the first time i saw these scenes back to back i was struck dumb by the theatrics, the story-telling and the musicality. if these scenes are acted well, these arias can stick to your brain like glue.

dance of the knights from romeo and juliet by prokofiev: another no-brainer. this ballet isn't even my favorite, but especially the first part of this piece has a string section to die for (sorry romeo).

act ii pas de deux (andante maestoso) from the nutcracker by tchaikovsky: i love tchaikovsky. the nutcracker can feel like an endless rinse and repeat of romantic motifs stuck in a very sugary, very histrionic laundry machine made of kitsch (and bad tropes). this is the exception. i still cry through the last two minutes of this piece every time without fail (running gag at work lmao). it is perfect from start to finish, but the repeated motif that comes in at the 2 minute mark and last section elevates this from what could rival the dance of the sugar plum fairy to an unrivaled masterpiece to finish off this ballet. i could weep.

votre toast je peux vous le rendre from carmen by bizet: also known as the toreador song. i have a soft spot for baritones because i worked together with an amazing one for a few years. i love the grandeur of this number, the nonsensical need for a song based on that damn toreador metaphor all the way through. why is a story set in spain sung in french? it makes even less sense. laurent naouri sings one of the most well-known and best understood versions of this song.

bei männern, welche liebe fühlen from die zauberflöte by mozart: deserves a spot for the most out-of-the-box duet duo in a show and narrative maybe ever. these two characters do not need to interact on page, but the fact that this also makes no sense makes it so incredibly fun and charming to see. it's just easy to listen to and sounds gorgeous. maybe a bit more of a deep-cut from a show with a few uber famous songs (looking at you, queen of the night). once more baritone rights.

to be honest, i could go on and on and on. but to cap this off: most of the classical music i listen to is based in opera for work reasons (and because i just love ... voices idk i love words) but the classical artist i've listened to the most over the years is chopin. also maybe another recommendation in line with this blog: the vincenzo ost is based heavily on classical music and opera and has similar amount of theatrics as many classical pieces.

[luanaleotta-blog]

Opera ‘Roméo et Juliette’ -  klassiek

Recensie :

During a recent interview, the German soprano Diana Damrau and the Italian tenor Vittorio Grigolo tried to describe the chemistry they have together onstage. Reading their comments, I worried that they might be overthinking things. After all, they first worked together only last year, appearing as the lovers in Massenet’s “Manon” at the Metropolitan Opera. The couple thrilled audiences and critics with the smoldering intensity they emitted. So this is a new relationship. In talking about their instinctive connection might they risk making it self-conscious?

Not to fear. On Saturday night for its New Year’s Eve gala, the Met introduced a new production of Gounod’s “Roméo et Juliette” starring Mr. Grigolo and Ms. Damrau as Shakespeare’s star-crossed adolescent lovers. In scene after scene, these exciting and charismatic artists disappeared into their characters, emboldening each other to sing with white-hot sensuality and impassioned lyricism.

The production, by the director Bartlett Sher, his seventh for the Met, updates the setting from Renaissance to 18th-century Verona, presenting an essentially traditional staging with some surreal touches that seem a little forced. Still, to whatever degree Mr. Sher shaped the courageous performances of his stars, and this very strong cast, he deserves much credit.

Chemistry between two performers depends on each one bringing exceptional talents to the mix. Mr. Grigolo, with his heartthrob looks and explosive temperament, makes an ideal Roméo. During intense outbursts, his virile voice had burnished power and ping. Yet in moments when Roméo feels transported by his sudden love for this winsome girl, as in the aria he performs beneath Juliette’s bedroom window, Mr. Grigolo sang subdued romantic phrases with dark colorings and an emotional vulnerability that seemed to knock this impulsive Roméo off guard. That Mr. Grigolo could also climb up the wall to Juliette’s balcony with such effortless athleticism jolted the character with teenage energy.

Ms. Damrau showed impressive range in her solo turns. At one point during the Capulet ball in Act I, after Juliette is introduced to Pâris, the young count her father wishes her to wed, she sings the light, waltzing “Je veux vivre” to a group of ogling young courtiers, explaining that she is too young and full of life to settle down. Ms. Damrau dispatched the aria with rosy sound, agile coloratura and girlish glee. But in Act IV, when the good-intentioned friar gives Juliette a potion that will make her appear dead to her family until Roméo can rescue her, Ms. Damrau summoned weighty vocal power and tragic intensity as she agonized over what to do, then forced herself to drink.

Ms. Damrau and Mr. Grigolo were especially inspired during the four duets that form the dramatic crux of Gounod’s opera. During the balcony scene duet (“O nuit divine”), they shifted subtly between passages of tremulous romantic abandon and affecting melodic intimacy.

Though this is Gounod’s finest opera, a more sophisticated score than “Faust,” the music can still seem a little precious and cloying, even during the crucial love duet on the couple’s only night of wedded bliss. But Ms. Damrau and Mr. Grigolo infused it with a winning combination of emotional nakedness and vocal refinement that brought out the subtleties and depths of the music. Their efforts were aided all night by the nuanced, richly textured and vibrant conducting of the always impressive Gianandrea Noseda. Mr. Sher must have been a little emotionally torn on this occasion. The same day his “Roméo et Juliette” opened at the Met, his revelatory production of “Fiddler on the Roof” had its final performance on Broadway.The “Roméo,” a production of La Scala in Milan, was initially presented at the Salzburg Festival in 2008. It’s not Mr. Sher’s best work. The stage is dominated by a single set (designed by Michael Yeargan) to suggest the imposing, three-tiered outer walls of a Veronese palazzo. During the prologue, after the teeming orchestra depicts the longstanding animosities between the Capulet and Montague families, an assembled throng (the great Met choristers) sings the grave chorus summarizing the tragedy about to occur. Mr. Sher opts for the obvious: The choristers sit and stand with faces forward, stern and motionless, as they intone the music.

From then on, slightly abstract, sometimes surreal touches are added to this realistic backdrop. The Capulets’ masked ball becomes a madcap affair. Attendees appear in costumes (by Catherine Zuber) with garish colors and extravagant headpieces. An enormous white sheet serves as an all-purpose symbol, first unfurled as a canopy over a crowd scene, then turned into a covering atop a platform to suggest the bed the secretly married lovers share, then becoming the suffocating bridal veil Juliette must wear to her forced marriage with Pâris, which never takes place.

The minimal use of props allows for fluid scene changes, and the symbolic white sheet creates some dramatic stage images. Still, it might have been better to push the concept more toward the abstract. Those looming walls in the background dominate everything. And the set winds up looking like something old fashioned, both monumental and a little dusty.

The crowd scenes are inventively handled, however, especially the street brawl in front when Tybalt (Diego Silva, an appealing young tenor in his Met debut) gets into a sword fight with Roméo’s hotheaded friend Mercutio (the dynamic baritone Elliot Madore), and Roméo intervenes. The encounters were executed with Errol Flynn flair, thanks to the work of the fight director B. H. Barry.

The acting of the entire cast complemented the consistently strong singing. The bass-baritone Laurent Naouri combined sure French style with an appropriate touch of stuffiness as Capulet, a family head mired in pointless grudges against the Montague clan. The formidable bass Mikhail Petrenko conveyed the hearty good will of Frère Laurent, the friar who also subscribes to dangerous potions. The mezzo-soprano Virginie Verrez brought youthful sass and a bright voice to the male role of Stéphano, Roméo’s page, who is like a sidekick. Diana Montague as Gertrude, the nurse to Juliette, and David Crawford as Pâris were other standouts.

But the evening belonged to Ms. Damrau and Mr. Grigolo, who during the long ovation at the end joined their strong voices to shout out “Happy New Year” to the audience. They remain in the cast only through this month.

What lies ahead for them at the Met? I’m sure Peter Gelb is already on the case.

Mijn mening : 

Op 21 januari ben ik samen met Lisa en Kelly naar de opera Roméo et Juliette gaan kijken. Dit was spijtig genoeg niet in een indrukwekkend zaal maar gewoon in een kinepoliszaal.

Het was de eerste keer dat ik een opera zag. Je moet het wel eens hebben gezien maar ik vond het niet zo leuk. Ik vind het verhaal van Romeo en Juliette wel mooi maar wanneer het verhaal dan in een opera wordt gebracht ziet het er voor mij heel anders uit. Wanneer er wordt gezongen was het niet altijd even verstaanbaar. Ook al ben ik geen fan, het blijft wel indrukwekkend. Opera draait vooral om de muziek. De muziek werd dan ook heel krachtig en impressionant overgebracht. De decors zijn heel realistisch. De zangers hebben er een geslaagd opera van gemaakt. Ik besef wel dat veel mensen vooroordelen hebben. Ik ben van mening dat je het eerst moet beleven en dan pas mag beoordelen. Maar het was wel de moeite waard.

[infinitelytheheartexpands]

Responses from the Opera Screencaps Captioning Quiz

Hello, everyone, and thank you for taking my quiz! I had SO MUCH fun reading your captions-- there were several times I literally started crying from laughing so hard at the amazingness of your work! With that in mind, the captions (which I will continue to add onto as more people take it):

(also, thank you to @dichterfuerstin​ for translating the German captions I got)

originally taken from: the Wiener Staatsoper’s 2020 production of Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart’s Die Entführung aus dem Serail, featuring Regula Mühlemann (center) as Blonde, Michael Laurenz (right) as Pedrillo, and an unnamed extra (left) as the Grim Reaper

Responses:

(Backstage warm-up) “ok so someone dropped the pulse”

me and my friends watching the fire burn after doing arson

Introducing the polycule to the parents

*boom* ... did...you guys hear that too?

Ma Signor !

Knight in whinging armour gone wrong, look at how he holds the egg. Polyamory with weird knight and death.

the father, son and the holy ghost are very gay

the gays meeting for brunch, 2021, colorized

chicken lady forces death and a very flamboyantly homosexual anthropomorphized pink bird to be parents of her egg (they dont want to be)

That’s just me and my friends on our night out (before covid rip)-- closest

A Good Friday night

good omens (2019)

["the pocket guide to boy/girl/mischief" meme] who's the boy and who's the mischief though????

Papageno and Papagena take their first-born egg trick-or-treating

Angry Birds - The Musical. A pig stole an egg and the bird unites with death to take revenge.

I love my bird wife

Someone got murdered during the funky chicken dance

throuple murders child and steals sibling of said child

When you and your friends have widely different tastes in literature

angel leading twink to his rightful place (hell)

draco malfoy from a very potter musical and a death eater are very much in the wrong show

What have I gotten myself into

Mlm/wlw solidarity but I’m not telling who is who

A woman stands with a pink dipshit with an egg and a reaper.

A bird-couple makes a pact with Death, sacrificing their first-born bird-child in order to bring good luck upon their unborn bird-baby

There are three types of people on Halloween:

Uh oh, I don’t think the mother hen is very happy about this...

oh god, they’ve invented seussical. It’s too early!

gay brunch

Three little maids from school are we

guys maybe if we dress gay enough we can distract everyone from the dead flapper bee in the back

those three killed a duck for her egg and are facing the conswquences.

Duck has egg with human, shocked and upset due to biological impossibility

When you bout to make a banging omelet so you invite your fellow queers

"No mortal man could pass that egg, but heaven shall repair your rectum."

originally taken from: the Salzburg Festival’s 2007 production of Hector Berlioz’s Benvenuto Cellini, featuring Maija Kovalevska (left) as Teresa Balducci, Laurent Naouri (center, in chimney) as Fieramosca, and Burkhard Fritz (right) as Benvenuto Cellini

Responses:

“In this same interlude it doth befall That I, one Snout by name, present a wall; And such a wall, as I would have you think, That had in it a crannied hole or chink, Through which the lovers, Pyramus and Thisby, Did whisper often very secretly. This loam, this rough-cast and this stone doth show That I am that same wall; the truth is so: And this the cranny is, right and sinister, Through which the fearful lovers are to whisper.” - a midsummer night’s dream, act v scene 1

"ah yes a prime specimen. see here, right in this box is our one of a kind hob goblin that can be all yours for the low low price of your soul"

what, YOU don't have a special eavesdropping chimney window?

Hänsel und Gretel plotting against the witch

man takes a wrong turn and ends up in a chimney, catches his girlfriend cheating-- closest

when you end up third wheeling the straight couple

lady cheats on her leather jacket wearing scummy boyfriend and when he unexpectedly comes home she hides the lover in the chimney

A straight girl and her gay best friend gossip about stuff idk

Idk Shakespeare?

experimental couples therapy feat. the chimney mf from mary poppins

Area Couple Inadvertently Traps Santa-in-Training in Chimney as they Attempt Rooftop Flirting

Landlords laugh over student renter's misfortune

I never asked for this

Ay yo lil mama lemme whisper in your ear

voyeurist listens to sandy and Danny from grease

Psssst! Did you hear about Susan? You won’t believe it!

lady and the tramp meets beauty and the beast?

human trafficking

And for just $30 you too could have your own tiny brick cage!

Psst I’m wearing assless chaps under this dress

A couple tortures a man in a box.

It's all fun and games being stuck in a chimney until your greasy uncle steals your crush from right above you-- okay ngl this could actually be a great Don Pasquale concept

Taking eavesdropping to the next level

Will you two stop being lovey dovey and let me out? SUMMER LOVIN, HAPPENED SO FAST— 

overhearing how people talk about you when they think they're alone puts you in the shithouse 

Does he know we can see him?

dear god, i am so fucking hungry, yall please just do whatever heterosexuals do so i can go eat a popsicle 

the human version of the trash man from sesame street is realizing that those two are going to fuck on his trash can 

Tmw you capture an angry short dude and start trashtalking him where he can hear 

Omg what if we kissed but we actually kissed the lil goblin man under us

"Remember, don't feed him after midnight"

originally taken from: the Théâtre de Capitole du Toulouse’s 2017 staging of Giacomo Meyerbeer’s Le prophète, featuring Leonardo Estevez (right, on fake horse) as Le Comte d’Oberthal

Responses:

“When I said we needed to drain the swamp I didn’t think there were people actually living there”

horse? what horse? no sir i dont know what horse youre referring to.

definitely don't have a napoleon complex going on

King stole La Scala‘s Lohengrin set

king breaks all his horses, has to use statue dragged by servants as transportation because he’s too kingly too walk

Emperor Söder and his subjects on a carnival procession

man on horse makes a big deal out of being on a horse

That’s not Zeffirelli because the horse is not alive

Who the fuck put a horse on the stage

isn't this that picture of napoleon on the horse

Area Count Thinks Citizens will be Intimidated by his Extremely Fake-looking Horse Statue-- closest

Everyone wants their turn on the giant plaster horse. Police are there to make sure everyone waits their turn.

Night out with the lads

Local royalty horrified at the state of his own damn kingdom

gay army fights different gay aesthetics-- hi author how does it feel to be the funniest fucking person on this quiz

Well at least I LOOK badass

ceasar if he hadn't gotten stabbed (colourised)

some soldiers jumped out of my kindergarten fairytale collection book to burn the don carlos flemish deputies at the stake

It’s just a model

Is that how you feel pulling up in your Honda Civic, Madge?

Someone rides a horse statue in public.

Just a normal party with the bros.

what is this, some kind of crossover episode? 

Terribly sorry for all the fuss, it’s just, that is, my horse is afraid of neck ruffles. I’ve tried to talk to him about it, but he’s—whoaaa there—he said he was a french courtier in a past life and he’s allergic to English fashion 

Horse seller, listen to me! I am riding into battle. I need your strongest horse. - We have horses at home. - The horses at home: 

All hail Incitatus the king 

we are not ripping off shakespeare’s henry viii. what the fuck. this is about lenny xi you uncultured swine, go drown in a pit of your own farts 

oh god is that hamilton 

Guy Removed From Art Museum For Sitting On Statue, more at eleven 

Gay <3

Officer: This horse... is a virgin! Crowd: *cheers*

originally taken from: the Parma Verdi Festival’s 2017 staging of Giuseppe Verdi’s Stiffelio, featuring Maria Katzarava (left) as Lina and Luciano Ganci (right) as Stiffelio

Responses:

That One kid in class

its a mEntAL BreAkDowN *final countdown but kazoo*

*record scratch* yeah, that's me. you're probably wondering how I got here-- closest

Dad keeps monologuing, teenager is done

left: all of my concerned friends, right: my emo ass having a very public mental breakdown

the demons in the corner of my room when im just trying to sleep

lady gets mansplained to (do i need to say more, we've all been there)

It’s probably an area baritone telling off an area soprano-- sorry; it’s a tenor. soprano is right though.

That was a fake horse in the last photo right?

child comes out as gay to father at a particularly bad time

dissociation solves everything

I can't believe it's not butter

Honey we talked about this

My sleep paralysis demon is Crowley from supernatural

child has nightmare of boring job

When you start dating a singer but he won’t stop practicing at night

just an average day in a hetero marriage

what do i do my wife's having period cramps again

Stop having an existential crisis. It’s time to sing!

“No son of mine will kin Gomez Addams under MY roof”

Crowley stares into space while a teen has post nut clarity.

When he wont stop reciting jordan peterson monologues!!

Do you realize how effed you are?

Ugh, not this lecture again! Dad’s Practicing For His Experimental Indie Band Again 

asking your parents for help with your own personal situation and them just ranting off about what they went through instead of helping in any way 

Will he shut up already!

no one tell him he’s yelling in the wrong direction, no one tell him plnsbdjddhdj 

this kid is tired of his dad listening to rush limbaugh (a man who claimed to be pro life but died anyway) 

Me internally vs externally 

Daddy issues

originally taken from: the Grand Théâtre de Genève’s 2020 staging of Giacomo Meyerbeer’s Les Huguenots, featuring several chorus members

Responses:

It’s the deadly eye Of Poogley-pie. Look away, look away, As you walk by, ‘Cause whoever looks right at it Surely will die. It’s a good thing you didn’t … You did? … Good-bye. - shel Silverstein

why the fuckith? my good sir, i beg of you to put your pants back on

I hate this itchy hat

Titanic Extras hear that they have to do extra hours

people waiting to board the titanic watch someone fall off the plank

pov: you’re a time traveler

guy in the flatcap is embarrassed by patriotism and pathos

No idea. For some reason Le Marseillaise comes to mind

Is this from Harry Potter?

disneyland main street usa workers on strike

local tries to hide behind Newsies cap to avoid unpleasant but inevitable conversations. meanwhile, some very fashionable ladies look on.

"Thank fuck, 2020 was just a dream after all"

“We gather here today because this bitch got exactly what she deserved” “heaven!” “Stfu Stephanie she’s going to hell and we all know it”-- not quite but this basically happens later on in the opera (and act) so yeah (except the person in question very much Did Not Deserve It)

dc movie filter on bridgerton

america?

looks like my history teacher paused the prohibition documentary again

Who still wears page boy hats bro?

Coming out to a room of people who Already Knew That

Bitches are relieved at some party.

Several drunk people exiting getting off the subway attempting to seem sober and rational but realizing they have somehow lost all of their possessions

How tf do I act natural in this situation-- closest

“do you think any of them noticed that I don’t know the pledge of allegiance” 

It's too fucking hot outside for this outfit 

?

when hyyh yoonkook ending just hits different 

pedestrians watch in horror as the triangle shirtwaist factory burns and the workers throw themselves out of the windows from a dozen stories up 

Starting the pledge of allegiance be like 

He's having a heart attack oh no oh god oh fuck

originally taken from: if I remember correctly, the Semperoper Dresden’s 2018 semi-staging of Johann Strauss II’s Die Fledermaus, with Jonas Kaufmann as Gabriel von Eisenstein

Responses:

“William Shakespeare wrote: "To thine own self be true And it must follow, as the night the day Thou canst not then be false to any man" I believe this wise statement best applies to a woman A blonde woman Over the past three years she taught me And showed us all That being true to yourself never goes out of style Ladies and gentlemen Our valedictorian: Elle Woods!” - legally blonde the musical

eat ass, suck a dick, and sell drugs

woooooorrrrd

Finally Jonas has graduated! It’s about time, considering he’s an international star.

what my professors think they look like

Prof. Dr. Dr. When someone tells him there are more than two genders

'and since you've now graduated high school, you'll be entering college etc. blablabla' .........meanwhile, there's a whole row of graduates daring each other to chug the cheap vodka one of them has brought in gallons (yes that happened at my graduation, lol)

Jonas darling baby <3-- can’t argue with that

I just realized I have no idea what the actual fuck happens in an opera

ok this one is just what jonas kaufmann always wears you can't fool me.

"as valedictorian i will share with you the importance of loving the floor"

"Yes, mother, my art degree will make me money!"

Graduation speakers are out, singers are in

Senior year takes a new meaninbg

mansplainer professor explains the concept of feminism to women

Your Prof when you finally turn in that missing assignment be like

younger boris johnson (derogatory)

jonas kaufmann retires from opera and takes up motivational speaking

What a fine graduation evening we’re having today

-70 points for slytherin you all have no swag

A man with a college hat sings.

An obviously greying actor trying to play a university student in a low-budget porn parody

How it feels to graduate high school after being held back for years

East High is a place where teachers encouraged us to break the status quo and define ourselves as we choose. Where a jock can cook up a mean crème brûlée, and a brainiac can break it down on the dance floor-

I may not have been "cool" in high school, but in ten years you will all be working for me!

I finally got my GED!

that one guy in ur intro to cultural anthropology class who mansplains to the professor somehow fucking graduated

he;s just graduating and taking his speech too serously idk

Graduation speeches with that one dude who got held back 3 times

Smrt

originally taken from: the Metropolitan Opera’s 2011 staging of Gioachino Rossini’s Le Comte Ory with Joyce DiDonato (left) as Isolier, Diana Damrau (center) as Countess Adèle, and Juan Diego Florez (right) as Le Comte Ory (disguised as a hermit)

Responses:

There is something very [disturbing grunts] About polyamorous couples - polyamorous, Chris Fleming

jinkies

femme fatale (including to herself)

I’ll have a threesome soon !

Hot guy walks by, everyone swoons.

thirdwheeling friend does not realize the other two are having sex

When your girlfriend had „just two beers“ again

jesus is exasperated about having to drag the two ladies towards doing what he needs them to do instead of purple dramatically declaring suicidal intent over the smallest trivial matters and red being equally dramatic about declaring that it's not the way! stay alive! i love you!!

The throuple is thriving

Get off the milf

orgy

my last three braincells because im a horny slut

countess receives too much love and is confused on how to react

Rasputin's lesser known romp with a much older czarina of russia

Woman's soul leaves body

Jesus and co. are worried after another woman gets pregnant without having sex

bisexual looks at photos of celebrity couples

When you go to the party to socialize with new people but your weirdo friend group starts getting clingy

Jesus cumming

one of those weird church christmas pageants but everybody's drunk

What have I done

Hozier??????????

Jesus assfucks some purple lady being hugged.

This time, the chick IS the magnet

An affair/threesome gone awry (2019 colorized)

What do you mean they canceled GLOW?

“I TOLD you it was cashmere!”

Are you wearing the - - The Gucci dress? Yes I am.

It's not what it looks like!

jesus is fucking that one cheerleader who grew up to be a suburban mom with one (1) super cool dress she stole from her kid who is desperately hugging her middle begging for it back because the spring fling is coming up and jason might actually make eye contact with her for more than three seconds.

jesus and mary magdaline and some other bitch

I’m at a bar and these drunk girls are flirting with me, do I lOOK GAY?!

Shrek 5, jesus's return

c. 2025 First attempt of an Officer and his Wife with a Handmaiden (colourized)

just about all of these are close lol

originally taken from: the Bolshoi Theater’s 1993 staging of Pyotr Ilyich Tchaikovsky’s The Maid of Orléans, featuring Nina Rautio (left) as Joan of Arc and Vyacheslav Pochapsky (right) as Thibaut d’Arc

Responses:

Don’t look, I’m still pooping

yall, the audacity of this man. he fuckin talked to me

*i can't even tell you how wrong you are* *it would be insulting to ME*-- closest

Cospeto!

„No I’m not talking to you, you keep cracking bad jokes!“ - „But I got another!“

when you’re mad at him but he says he’ll buy you food if you cheer up

When I’m wallowing in self-pity but my friends won’t comfort me

right: wanna fuck ;) left: yeah, fuck OFF lmao

Her face is screaming “don’t tell me what to do”

Yeah I got nothing

gay man tries to hit on a lesbian bc he thinks she's a twink. she's not amused but she's watching this happen anyway

me tired of MET's bullshit and them organising a Netrebko, known blackface apologist, a recital during Black History Month. (sorry im still fucking salty lol)

"stop smiling at me like that I'm trying to pout over here"

"I got fleas, you got fleas... wanna fuck?"

I have the best idea!

Haha nooooo don’t hit me with that bat you’re so sexxyy

lesbian is bothered by dilf

Me trying to flirt

if call me by your name was hetero and set in america

how many more dad jokes can i take before i explode

So. You’ve gotten yourself in a little pickle again.

What if we fought in the Russian revolution together ✨???????... unless??

Two people flirt in a poor place of town/

"If you ask me what I've got under this dirty, shapeless tunic one more time I swear to god I will kick your rotting teeth in"

You look like ur gonna kill me but ok

Really? You again?

Okay, I’ve been sitting here for 20 minutes, do you think it’s safe to—oh god, he’s still there.

Have you seen Godot?

she is tired of everyone’s shit. she has done so many derivatives it physically pains her to see a variable. dont test her. ur icarus rn.

idk pick better pictures-- I HAVE DIED THE SHEER AUDACITY AND HUBRIS I LOVE THIS

200% done with your crap 

Homeless man has fucking legs of steel n is gonna show off his Russian dance moves

originally taken from: the Théâtre de Capitole du Toulouse’s 2019 staging of Paul Dukas’ Ariane et Barbe-bleue, featuring Sophie Koch (right) as Ariane and I don’t remember who the person on the left is rip me

Responses:

The knight who wore this into battle sure was swaggy

dear god its hiddeous

Capitalism

Knight in shining armour gone even more wrong.

ghost contemplates the safety of spiky motorcycle helmet

„Stop! He feels bullied!“

'this is my newest take for jesus's crucifixion crown ...... what do you mean they already put him up'

That’s probably a really expensive magic helmet idk. IDK-- closest

Omg I love the adventure zone!

minesweeper (windows xp)

"Okay whatever you do don't touch the shiny spiky ball" "It's so shiny I wanna touch it"

Taking down the trash way too late

IT'S NOT A PHASE MOM

Darth Vader got stuck in the freezer.... again. Leia isn’t happy

Star Wars 2030

“And here is the very latest in motorcycle helmet trends” “Look, I only came to the mall for a pair of socks “

futuristic kkk

long-suffering jewelry store attendant really wants to retire

Put it down put it down put it down

“Hmm no you should see a doctor about that”

A weird ass crown is presented

The creation of sars-cov-2: an experimental Eurotrance nightclub art piece gone horribly wrong

How it feels to want something that u cant have

AND WE WILL CALL IT—SPIKE MAN actually do you think that’s too obvious?? Because of the—yeah, because of the spikes?? See, that’s what I’m worried about. I want it to be SCARY

I know it's risky but... lube me up

?

use the force luke.

that is a weird fleshlight

When you get an ugly gift and need to find a way to get rid of it, so your family member/friend offers to smash it

Touch the orb

originally taken from: the Opera Vlaanderen’s 2019 staging of Fromental Halévy’s La Juive, with Nicole Chevalier (left, with bottle) as Princess Eudoxie, Enea Scala (center, under table) as Prince Léopold, and Roy Cornelius Smith (right) as Éléazar

Responses:

When no one comes to your birthday party :(

fantastic, day 487 of mischief and they have yet to find my masterful hiding spot

i really wonder who he thinks he's playing footsie with

Marriage crisis. Reason sits under the table-- closest but not in the way you think (after all, the man under the table IS a tenor).

the last supper afterparty after jesus left

When you order the last supper on wish

espionage at the Politischer Rosenmontag

Probably the wrong opera but is that Leporello under the table

Now THIS is a Good Friday night

this was every birthday party i went to between the ages of 5 and 11

that awkward moment when you drop your fork under the table but when you re-emerge everyone else has left except one drunk lady and the guy trying to deal with her

After the last supper

Tfw you arrive to the dinner party too early and have to hide until a more fashionable hour

When the cishets aren’t home

waiter hides from customers

Nobody: My dog every time I’m eating:

what's left of the homies Jesus had dinner with

university chem lab experiment gone terribly wrong

I’ve been under the table FOR 30 MINUTES

Set your friends up by tossing them off under the table, they’ll think it’s each other n fall in luv

Someone hids under a table

"You're about to see an surreptitious-under-the-table-dick-sucking master at work"

5 yr old me trying to eat the desert under the table without my parents finding out be like:

They never invite me to their parties!

Just another girl’s night in

Oops! Didn’t notice you the table.

dionysus - bts (2019, colorized)

just a normal episode of eric andre (eric is the one under the table)

Just a normal day with the boys

Thievery

originally taken from: the Théâtre de Capitole du Toulouse’s 2017 staging of Giacomo Meyerbeer’s Le prophète, featuring Kate Aldrich (left, surrounded by women in white) as Fidès and John Osborn (center, looking like a Jesus doppelganger) as Jean de Leyde

Responses:

Hold up, is that Eggman above Jesus?

holy disco

Looks like Tannhäuser. Our lord and saviour Richard Wagner. Now I need to be saved from that.

catholicism

me defending pineapple on pizza (THANK YOU)

jesus but hes about to be abducted by the alien ufo above him

Emmmmmmm Heaven? Idk

Lord of the rings?

ewww christianity gross

"behold, I am Important"

"Seriously?? It's not ACTUALLY pyjama day? Fuck you guys!"

Jesus at the Disco

Jesus Finds The Molerat People Who Live Under Bethlehem

disco is heaven

Want to join my new religion?

the kkk

church christmas pageant where everyone's sober but it's based on the director's fever dream

Am I the only one who sees the giant demon? Just me? Okay...

“Oh god I think I’m starting my period”

A party is held with a priest in the middle

"Let's get this secret Vatican sex party rolling!"

The new avengers endgame set is looking great!!

You know, guys, I try not to be a bother but...I can’t help but feel like I missed a dress code memo for this wedding??? It’s cocktail, right??”

Jesus visits Hogwarts

I must really stink if no one will even come close to me

the extra ass funeral i DESERVE

star wars life day

A cult at it’s best-- closest

Shrek 5, Jesus is still there I guess

originally taken from: the Royal Opera House, Covent Garden’s 2013 staging of Giuseppe Verdi’s Les vêpres siciliennes, featuring Bryan Hymel (left, standing) as Henri, Lianna Haroutounian (center, kneeling in the black gown) as Duchess Hélène, and Erwin Schrott (kneeling to her right) as Jean Procida

Responses:

When the director’s like “great rehearsal guys, just a few notes before I let you go” but it’s already 9:13 and your mom’s waiting in the parking lot

loyalist of subjects

bow before your queen

They forgot to take down the stage boxes after the Vienna opera ball but the show must go on.

somebody forgot to book chairs for this funeral

Me sharing God’s (Hayley koyoko) word on the discord server

mass execution bc the oboe solo sucked ass-- closest

That’s too many black suits I can’t see shit

I can’t even tell what’s going on here

8th grade school assembly about how it's uncool to shit on the walls at school

let's all get fancy so we can go to the opera and sit on the stage (idk this one's hard lol)

"Yes i am a time traveller, now don't freak out"

Tfw you forget to pay your lighting bills

White guys make decisions that will benefit them and screw someone that’s not a white guy over-- OUCH but that is too real (although not really in context here)

dead man gives speech at his own funeral

brotus and the boys ??? last meeting before the stabbing

high society social function ends in mass murder-- right opera, wrong scene

Someone walks into the talent show stage with a dog

Black-dressed bitches worship a man.

Worst school assembly of all time

POV:You're the window in the classroom and someone said "its snowing"

When the conductor shows up fashionably late to the orchestra concert

That's what you get for choosing the cheapest ticket option, get back in the mud where you belong

?

theyre just trying to jump into a grave at a funeral leabe them alone this is normal

oh my god he really whipped his dick out in front of everyone, this is just like in 1776 guys, except some women are actually in the room this time,

A funeral, stop wearing so much black

I want to slap their bald heads like rice

originally taken from: the Teatro Real Madrid’s 2018 staging of Gaetano Donizetti’s Lucia di Lammermoor, featuring Roberto Tagliavini (right) as Raimondo

Responses:

Crowd “haha!! Looks like someone missed the all-black memo!! Now it’s laugh-in-your-face time! / Guy on the floor (whispering to guy against wall): go, save yourself! I’ll hold them off...”

if i leave now i wont be a witness and can tell the police i had no idea

it was the best of times, it was the worst of times

Guy in the back pretends to help but is to far away to even know what’s going on.

priest walks in on beginning of an orgy, contemplated joining but is too scared-

when someone brings up capitalism but you’re just trying to play minecraft

lol lets trample this guy while the judge isnt looking

Again. Too many black costumes

Loved this Dostoevsky novel

i would know if opera directors were more creative with clothing choices ngl

me on parties lol

"imma just sneak out of here while everyone else is distracted"

"Where did he get this flooring!? Amazing!"

Everyone act normal!

The tell tale heart but they got REALLY drunk

man tposes to ward off vampires after being caught undercover

boys ???? night

the priest really shouldn't have visited the insane asylum-- closest

He’s FINE everyone’s been hit by a car before

Something happens in a room.

Perks of being a wallflower

There's always that one person in the fight whos trying not to get involved when they really wanna

Oh good, they’re all posing for a Rembrandt painting, I can just sneeeeaaak out the back here...

The gamer livestreaming Resident Evil + everyone watching the stream ? waiting for him to open the door just knowing it will trigger a chase scene

Quick!

the guy t posing in the back is regretting his every decision.-- also accurate

the us senate jumps ted cruz, some other wack ass gop senator is trying to sneak away

...I spoke too soon, however this is a James Bond mission

Queers help fellow queer do math but it's a struggle

[infinitelytheheartexpands]

Once again tagged by @opera-my-beloved and once again trying to limit this to Met streams!

Any favorite weird/funny lyrics?

the entirety of “Miei rampolli femmenini” from La cenerentola

What are some opera songs that make you lose your mind?

so many! especially patter songs

Are there any Met interview moments that live rent-free in your mind?

Laurent Naouri calling Pandolfe the Homer Simpson of opera

What's an opera production that you positively rant about for an hour and a production that you could angry rant about for an hour?

Positive: any of the really good recent Met Verdi productions (eg the 2010 Don Carlo, the 2012 Ballo, the 2013 Falstaff, etc.)

Negative: honestly not sure??? maybe That One Guy Who Shall Not Be Named’s continued crimes against both women and Verdi baritone roles (crimes which luckily seem to be at an end at the Met but unfortunately not everywhere)

Are there any weirdly specific moments from a stream/production that you love?

the moment in the 2013 Falstaff (I know, I can’t shut up about the production) when Alice hops onto the laundry basket and puts a rose in her mouth while casually gliding across the floor. I die EVERY SINGLE TIME

Which opera production was the most visually pleasing to you?

too many

Is there any singer who changed your opinion on an opera character?

René Pape as Boris Godunov.

Are there any productions you wish had been filmed but are only available in audio form (or not available at all)?

so many! especially the 2016 Guillaume Tell and the 2003 Benvenuto Cellini

tagging anyone else interested!

[infinitelytheheartexpands]

Don César de Bazan: Reactions

I really enjoyed this opera and I wish there was a filmed staged performance with this cast. The musical values top to bottom are excellent. Elsa Dreisig and Laurent Naouri are both at the top of their game here.

This opera was one of Massenet’s first (premiered in 1872) but it was revised into a grand opéra format in 1888, and that is the version recorded here.

The plot is...confusing to say the least but here goes:

Set in late-17th-century Madrid, the opera centers around a series of amorous intrigues primarily concerned with Maritana, a street singer loved by two noblemen: Don César de Bazan (baritone) and King Charles II (tenor). One day, the two, along with the King’s first minister Don José (baritone), are watching Maritana sing in the street when Lazarille (mezzo trouser role) is dragged in by an army captain to be beaten and killed for failing to properly attend to his duties as manager of the arquebusiers. César, outraged, intervenes on the boy’s behalf and duels the captain. Both parties are summarily arrested and condemned to death by public hanging for dueling during Holy Week. Lazarille insists on staying in prison with César; his wish is granted.

In Act II, César is in prison when José offers to arrange for him to marry Maritana and for his execution to be changed to the less painful death by firing squad, as well as guaranteed protection for Lazarille. However, José has an ulterior motive: he himself is desperately in love with the Queen (who never appears :( ), and she has told him that she will only have an affair with him if he can prove that the King is being unfaithful. His plan is that once Maritana is a widowed countess, the King can seduce her and make her his mistress, thus paving the way for him to get it on with the Queen. Yeah. Go ahead and read that again because that is confusing. Not knowing any of this overcomplicated backstory, César agrees. He and Maritana are summarily married, with the execution immediately afterward. But the execution does not kill César: Lazarille has taken advantage of his erstwhile position to tamper with the firing squad’s rifles and after the “execution” he helps César escape.

In Act III, Maritana, not knowing of either César’s “execution” or his escape (she is told that he has been called away on business and will return soon), trains to learn how to be a good noblewoman. Charles disguises himself as César and attempts to seduce Maritana, but the real César shows up and realizes what’s going on, so he decides to get back at Charles by pretending to be the King, much to Charles’ annoyance. Eventually, Charles is so annoyed that he gives up and leaves the couple alone. They sing a gorgeous love duet.

The final act opens with Lazarille and Maritana waiting for César when the King shows up. Shortly after that, César enters and Charles finally realizes that César is really still alive. César tells Charles that he was going to ask the Queen to pardon him, but when he went to find her, he found her...in a rather compromising position with Don José. He then proceeded to challenge Don José and kill him. The army captain confirms the story. Charles, moved, pardons César and names him Governor of Grenada. César, Maritana, and Lazarille prepare to leave together. All ends well.

The music is quintessential late-Romantic gorgeousness with some Spanish elements and light dance music thrown in for good measure. A lot of the best music, particularly the duets, are in the second half, but everything is good.

Definite recommend.

The recording in question.

(and a French libretto)

[infinitelytheheartexpands]

Viva la mamma! (Lyon, 2017): Reactions, Part II

ooh so now we have a real (and very pretty!) opera house

poor tenor...

seriously ARE YOU OKAY

bravi to the cellist

also brava a Luigia!

Mama’s coaching from the peanut gallery

warmup time!

‘sorry I forgot my purse’

this is significantly funnier when you know that this is a parody of a Rossini aria (more on that later)

‘NO SITTING ON THE PROMPTER BOX’

‘wtf these were not the words I wrote’

Laurent Naouri is a comedy GOD

‘dude were you HIGH when you wrote this’

*pounds piano in frustration* mood

noooooooooooooooooooooo don’t cut it it’s too funny

also mood

that was a beautiful high note *applause* especially impressive because the note was a high E above the C an octave above middle C and this guy’s a bass-baritone

someone’s mad at the prompter

BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

hi can I please have her outfit immediately

we stan the one background guy (third from the left) who is bopping away and having the time of his LIFE

edit: they all started bopping

wooooooooooooooooooooooooooow

brava to the talented and beautiful QUEEN who is Patrizia Ciofi

what is happening

WAKE UP AND PAY ATTENTION

quality roast

mood

HE’S THEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERE THE PHANTOM OF THE OOOOOOOOOOOPERAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

‘OH NO SHE’S BACK’

‘please end my misery’

this is too funny

well I guess what works works

goodbye opera house :(