#The other person is also me btw. I'm in denial of myself

[machathecat]

Why see a therapist when you can make memes about your hell-like mental health state hahaha *laugh slowly goes into crying*

[thepoisonroom]

'I flirted with the idea that instead of being trans that I was just a cross-dresser (a quirk, I thought, that could be quietly folded into an otherwise average life) and that my dysphoria was sexual in nature, and sexual only. And if my feelings were only sexual, then, I wondered, perhaps I wasn’t actually trans.

I had read about a book called The Man Who Would Be Queen, by a Northwestern University professor who believed that transwomen who were attracted to women were really confused fetishists, they wanted to be women to satisfy an autogynephilia. And though I first read about this book in the context of its debunkment and disparagement, I thought about the electricity of slipping on those tights, zipping up those boots, and a stream of guilt followed. Maybe this professor was right, and maybe I was only a fetishist. Not trans, just a misguided boy.

About a year later, on the Internet, I come across a transwoman who added a unique message to the crowd refuting this professor. Oh, I wish I remember who this woman was, and I wish even more that I could do better than paraphrase her, but I remember her saying something like this: “Well, of course I feel sexy putting on women’s clothing and having a woman’s body. If you feel comfortable in your body for the first time, won’t that probably mean it’ll be the first time you feel comfortable, too, with delighting in your body as a sexual thing?”'

-Casey Plett, Consciousness

[kyouka-supremacy]

Still firmly believe that the moment Atsushi definitely fell / realized what he felt for Akutagawa was love was when Akutagawa smiled at him in chapter 88 I'm sorry I can't take criticism on this

[skayafair]

37 The Farm

I love how there are two parts of the fandom now:

the "i love you Oscar but you're so not making it out of this alive, i'm in denial"

and the "JEALOUS JOHN HELL YES look dear I don't care about Oscar either but could you be a bit more stealth about it"

And sometimes they merge. I believe.

(I'm team 2 btw)

Also I'm sorry but Oscar is fruity as hell, don't even try to tell me he's written as a straight man, there's just NO way okay. Speaking as greyromantic/ace myself

And the feeling I've got in 36 that John isn't just jealous, he's basically being erased and is scared to death to lose the only things he has - a sight that's not his but is the only use he sees for himself right now, a mind - the only thing that's truly him and his alone (shut up King), and a voice just one person can hear (also a few limbs control but this is being omitted all the time), that's why being so petty and posessive, - has only gotten stronger in 37. John, dear. You need a separation, and I don't even mean your eldritch body unsharing stuff, just psychologically. Which is hard, I guess, because of the eldritch body sharing stuff.

But he feels unstable and vulnerable af, unsure, uncertain about his very existence, that's why all the snarkiness.

Btw I really liked how I switched sides with John and Arthur this episode. Usually they are more stable morally-wise, as in one is being the moral compass for the other, but here the morals were being tossed between them like a hot potato. Although with Arthur I was more like disappointed and irritated (aren't you trying to be a good man and a Human with a capital H?) when he lost the course, and with John it's simply a grinny YASSSS JOHN 💛 idk and idc. Guess who's my comfort character. (Wrong, it's Yellow. Fine, it's John first.)

I wish I could care about Oscar, but he feels like a hindrance. Oooh my John kinny is showing aren't they As in, I KNOW he's helping, but I also see him as a very likely source of drama and disaster. He's not as familiar with the eldritch stuff the Jester team went through, he's pretty innocent but kinda unhinged in borderline religious way (borderline because it's not the faith in his god that makes him unhinged), and this contrast gives me the heebie jeebies. He feels like a slightly rabid kitten who's going to be killed because of his innocent ignorance and his drive to stick his nose where it shouldn't really go.

And uh. Oscar sounds like a really nice person. So he really SHOULDN'T go anywhere near Jester team because, y'know. People die like flies around them. I wouldn't wish such an unfortunate outcome to a genuinely nice person, no matter how much I like the boys.

Oh, btw I like the most recent addition to the podcast and am eager to learn what those black wormy things were :3

[imogenleewriter]

I would have waited for it to be over to rr the whole thing, write a rant simultaneously and then send but lmfao the ne chapter needs to be ranted about.

(I'm only 2 words in)

Not Louis being smarter than Harry lmao.

Yeah, Louis it's LITERALLY the only explanation my brothah stop lying

'symptoms' BAHAHAHAHA

Not Louis being SCIENCE and Harry being completely inexperienced on falling in LOVE LMFAO

Noooooo Louis knows what those feelings are cuz everytime he triggered then he also felt them himself 🥲🤏

✨Love ✨

Not harry's symptoms being his literal FEELINGS FFS

Nooooo Louis only has a theory. (I need Zayn to somehow find out about this debacle and repeat it at their wedding or to their children (whichever option Harry hates more and Louis is less wary of))

Yeah Louis you're definitely, DEFINITELY misinterpreting this YUP YEAH sounds about right

(side note:- idk how you even ever manage to put so much work into something you do for free and get so much stupid comments for but I will ALWAYS be SOOOO GRATEFUL 🥲 like these are the highlights of my shitty days I can't believe you do it for free TYSM TYSM THANK YOU SO MUCH 💗💗💗)

(also:- a massive, massive thank you to everyone who supports you and helps you because- just- just- LOOK how amazing these are I literally can't rn-)

Knowing for sure that Harry isn't sick, I do kind of understand why Louis is hesitant to assume Harry's just in love with him because imagine your crush is casually dying in your arms out of a heart attack or something and you are just like "dw, bestie, your heart is fully functional, you just have feelings ❤️"

Ok so rn I am at the place where Louis is thinking about how Harry can totally have feelings for him but still not want a relationship and just- *sigh* don't you just HATE it when a character who is clearly miscommunicating still make sense in their monologue based on what their arc and personality is? *sigh again*

It's so funny that the tables have COMPLETELY turned this time around now HARRY is an oblivious idiot but LOUIS KNOWS!!!!

(I love how subtle this shift is btw because I'm not really sure why but in my brain Louis' characterization seemed like he knows his problems and would just rather be in blissful denial about it, yk? But Harry always seemed like a person who would look at others worst emotions when directed at himself but forgive the other person and not himself)

Looking at Louis's inner monologue rn is so funny because he is just like "omg I cracked a case"

Help-this is getting too long for an ask but basically my point is that if I have been procrastinating this ask for ages and I am still stressing over the semantics in it then you being stressed over the complete masterpiece literature you create that I and so many other people are lucky enough to find then IS MORE THAN REASONABLE!!!!

So THANK YOU

I'll just read the rest by myself sorry 😐 I'll add it to the inevitable rant I'll send in your dms whenever I can complete it lmao my life is a fucking mess with me somehow ending up with fucking BOB CUT rn in this economy but I'll send it I PROMISE

Hahaha I love all the comments I get I promiseeeeeeeeee!

Well 99% of them. The other ones I whine about in a discord group to the point they made me my own sticker

Thanks @enchantedlandcoffee

No, but it's honestly a sticker in a group with like 80 people and I love thinking about what the people who don't know me (because the majority of the time I only go in there to complain) think when they open the group stickers and see that one.

ANYWAYYYYYYY

I appreciated all your commentary a lot! I love it when people understand the characters and why they do things even if they don't agree with what they do.

Sorry about the bob-cut, not that I have anything against bob cuts but it sounds like it was not what you wanted.

A few years ago I went to a salon and asked for my hair to be just above my shoulders. The hairdresser was clearly in the middle of something, like maybe a break-up because she was like... close to tears and kept using the phone and stuff.

Anyway my hair but was at the nape of my neck, like if it was any shorter she would have had to use a razor. Without me even complaining- because I just can't do it- the manager gave me a discount. Like I literally didn't say a word about it and she gave me a discount. That's how bad it was.

As soon as I walked out I burst into tears and cried non-stop for at least two days. I literally put on social media if anyone sees me not to talk about the haircut or I'll start crying. It was sooooo bad.

Anyway lol, thank you!!

[6irlpet]

Hi! This is kinda weird, ig, to me at least, I've never done something like this before, but uh, do you have any tips for denial? For another subby person with a faucet pussy?? I don't have very good self control, I always go over the edge, and I try to ruin my orgasms, but I'm not good at it? (really cute fact about me I think, when I do manage to ruin, I can't orgasm again for like, at least a couple days, it like turns my clit off). I really like the idea of being in long term denial, but the longest I've managed is like, maybe a week tops (not even that, if I'm being honest, maybe about 5 days, oof). But the idea of being in denial for like a month or two sounds so nice, so yes. Any tips? Start small?? Should I just say I'm not even allowed to touch myself and not edge, since I can't even do that right?

(Btw, I just found your blog in July-ish, and it's my favorite one I've found <3<3<3 go to blog for horny content <3<3<3).

first of all its not weird at all!!! theres a Lot out there on denial (and a lot of kink in general) sometimes its hard to know where to start. and i think with denial thats especially hard, bc its difficult to go 0 to 100, it takes building a lot of self discipline and control

i also dont have very good self control even tho ive been into denial since 2017, i dont have good self control in general lol if there isnt an external pressure keeping me accountable. the only way i managed to do a year in denial is that most of it was on no touch; i’d work myself up watching/writing porn but not touch, i duct taped my pussy a lot when i’d get desperate (its hot and effective lol) numbing cream orajel also works too, like, do a while where u only edge with it on ur fingers so u only feel anything til it kicks in, and when i did touch i didnt often let myself get fully to the edge, i’d set timers so i’d have to stop touching myself when they went off. u can also not let urself touch by banning urself from toys if u go over / break whatever goal u set for urself, or can only get stimulation by humping. and if i did go over…

the other aspect is some negative enforcement! punishment! if u wanna do denial a good immediate thing is, yeah, if u go over on accident, ruin the orgasm. (especially since u have a cute lil response of not feeling anything after… even better!!) tbh it helps whenever i get tempted to keep touching and go over edge… i remind myself that its gonna be worse. u can also implement lil punishments like having to spank yourself or use rubber bands etc if u go over. u can also do the opposite with rewards! that when u break ur new record u get a treat of some kind! the orgasm obviously, but also maybe buy urself s/t nice. so its like setting a new goal with rewards as ur endurance builds up and u go longer :)

it gets easier when u practice and dont cheat, i also find a lot of hypnosis + captions to be rly hot and helpful, i also have a fun headspace of not “deserving” to cum and being kept below it so idk being denied is very hot to me. ur also right about starting small, dont immediately think u can jump in to a long term goal, set little ones. stop before ur at the edge and get closer every time til u learn where ur edge is, start with a week and work up from there etc!

and also always make sure ur enjoying it. denial can mess with emotions and head sometimes, so keep watch on urself, stop it if it stops being fun. u should have fun!! and good luck 💘

[darkhalo4321]

Imma talk shop a bit. By shop I mean, webcomics. and by webcomics, I'm gonna highlight one I HAD to read recently because of what the author/artist said about a specific character in said comic. So let's dive in and talk about EQUALIZE ( a crime/mystery drama! but it has romance elements that I focus on entirely too much >:3c ) (All pictures of the comic link to tapas, and the twitter quote links to the actual thread, so you can read it for yourself) (I read it on Tapas, but it's also on webtoons) Here we have Crow- he is my favorite. For obvious reasons. Look at his fashion!

a Bi in deNIal. (I know I really forced that rhyme)

He is an informant working for the police to find a kidnapper and he also knows something that no one else knows but everyone WANTS to know which, naturally, paints a target on his back.

He also doesn't know how to knock on doors. He just picks the lock. ( now I know you're probably thinking, INvaSIoN of PrIVacY, but it's a funny gag, and it's fiction so calm down and don't get worked up over it. Nic yells at him for it anyway)

We also have Nic, he's just... SUCH a great foil for Crow. He's way more relaxed and chill, and takes things as they come. Wants to do more than stand on the sidelines. The "tired of running from problems, tired of not being strong enough to protect the ones I love" person and we get to see that growth as he works with Crow through various near death situations. Now see, Nic is important because while saving Crow from being kidnapped, he manifests a strange power

The mark appears on his hand and what it does is equalizes... the strength of him and his opponent... I think- Uh don't quote me on that, my attention isn't really on HOW the powers work It's literally on the characters and their struggles. Terrible I know. How dare I only focus on the story beats I LIKE and not know every single thing about this comic inside and out, THE NERVE- Btw there are other uses with other symbols and they have different powers so like, if you wanna read it to see how that pans out, do it! It's all plot relevant! :D I do kind of pay attention. But back on task, Nic has this power that gives him an edge in helping Crow out, so he gets cleared to help! Which is great because it's the buddy cop duo we all love and adore-

complete with the "when you try to follow a lead and it ALL GOES HORRIBLY WRONG" and it brings the two buddies closer

now I won't spoil too much for you, Just tease you enough to make you read it, of course, but I will say, that all these juicy details weren't what drew me into reading this comic. Nope. It was literally just interacting with the creator, and what they said about Crow from one of the episodes of Crow's slow self discovery. I'll post the exact exchange that was said by the artist themself below. vvvv

The part that REALLY resonated with me was

Because a freaking week before this episode went live, I had just come to terms with the very same thing about myself. XD I was like "I'm pan, but don't talk about it, I can't ever really come out because of where I live and how most of my immediate family would not approve" yadda yadda. Most of you know about that if you read the read more- don't read those. I'm just screaming into the wind. Now I'm more relaxed about it, but like, I read that and KNEW and UNDERSTOOD that struggle. The rejecting the way you feel about something. The other reason I wanted to read it was also because I have a character named Crow, and they look similar! I think Celly's Crow is smarter than mine though, but I think my Crow is stronger than Celly's Crow XD

All in all, this series is SO fun, it's got the buddy cop vibe down, with your good strong story beats, interconnecting web of events, and balances the comedy with the main plot seamlessly. The comedy is top notch and it had me laughing OUT LOUD and rooting for characters- The personalities, the struggles, the past conflicts and where characters are at headspace wise and growth wise feels very realistic and it draws you in.

And I love the art so much. It's unique and stands out and the colors are so fitting for the characters, and I've drawn fanart for this series already don't @ me, I already ship crowxnic and they are the cutest. when canon? when kiss for real? That ends my lil essay about this series. Celly is super nice! So, go find them on Instagram or the site formerly know as Twitter. -> Sunnycelly. (this links to instagram) And go read this comic! NOW go FORTH and read some buddy cop BL for goodness sake. (it's not LISTED as a romance, but I see the BROMANCE) (I was so sold on the comedy of the series though too, I cannot express enough how engaging this series is. I love it an unhealthy amount)

[nobodycallsmerae]

First of all, big fan of your blog and your vibe! 🤎 I really don't want to be a hater but I feel like gabriel's art is deteriorating with every graphic novel smh. I'm usually a big fan of his art but i feel like graphic novel is just not living up to it. And the Robin graphic novels was just 📉📉📉 what were your thoughts on robin's story? I just wish I hadn't read it 🤡 I'm sorry for the rant but i just needed to vent and you just seemed like someone kind with whom I could share this with ☺️❤

i think that one of the major reasons for you to be feeling that way is because i feel like the vibrant and dynamic colours in gabriel picolo's works is what makes his art stand out, and so the muted colour scheme of the graphic novels don't seem "as good as" his other artworks. but another thing that you should keep in mind is that working on a personal project is VERY different than working on a comic/gn that is going to be published (in any form).

so like if an artist starts a project today, it doesn't matter when they'll finish it. they can take as much time as they want for the colouring, rendering, whatever and work at their own pace and so whatever they want. but when you're working on projects like this, you have certain guidelines, deadlines and the artist is not doing it just for his audience but for a bigger range of people; the fact that as far as i know ofc the artist also has to live up to and deliver what the author and other people on board want.

and fun fact, picolo was not alone in this project, working alongside artists jon sommariva and emma kubert and the colourist david calderon. (i added this cuz i feel like these people are not talked about much but they also contribute to the work and more people need to know and appreciate them.)

as a learning artist myself, i appreciate art in every form and for me, personally, picolo SLAYS every time.

now, about the robin graphic novel. sigh. (this is all spoiler free btw)

okay for once, i want to give my honest opinion on this. i genuinely enjoyed the first two books in the series. i won't say it was the best interpretation of their story, but it was one of my favourites, and i vibed with the characters and like i said, the art style was GIVING so i enjoyed it very much. and then with bblr, i was kind of thinking, like, hold up, this is okay? 

don't get me wrong; i am forever grateful that bbrae was finally getting the attention it deserved but judging from the previous books, i thought we would get a re-imagined origin story for every titan and i was looking forward to it before they have any sort of meet up. but then ngl i was like who tf even cares, we're getting bbrae and that's all that matters. and when that book released, i was ecstatic. i loved their dynamic, and their chemistry and ate up their interactions (esp the last scene in the lab or whatever thing, that was very heartwarming 🥺)

but when i thought about it, i wasn't as satisfied with the story as i was with the ship. (idek if i'm even making sense at this point)

long story short, after reading robin, i came to the realisation that kami garcia's writing is not for me and i've just been in denial about it for so long 😭

i'm def not saying that she's a bad writer, it's just that i'm not a fan and i don't vibe with her writing (this has me thinking about the whole empath/telepath mix-up fiasco from tt:raven 😭✋)

for robin, i understood that the plot had to continue, but i feel like with robin, we had a lot of potential for a good origin story for damian or dick or even both of them together (let's take a break to appreciate how hot dick is in picolo's art style 🥵👌 okay sorry let's continue) i just feel like we were robbed of a good potential story 😮‍💨 (also random but idk how i feel about damian and max's ship cuz like ajsjsjajahdhs 😬) 

i feel like, for the future books, it's going to be more of a "teen titans" story, rather than a "[insert character name]'s" story. im not saying that's a bad thing, but it's just that the name/cover might  be misleading for someone out of the loop (and also that i wanted sick origin stories for the other titans but that seemed more of a "me" problem so i'll just shut up with that 😭)

but even so, I'm still gonna read and cherish these novels because of picolo's art, the AMAZING bbrae crumbs (finally they're not crumbs but actual bread pieces im so happy 😭😭) and at the end of the day, what matters is that it's the teen titans that i care about and i would eat up any good content on them.

also ahhh thank you sm! and yeah, always feel free to rant, i'm more than happy to respond to your thoughts 🥺💗💗

[kittytheartist]

Oh what I meant about Teru- (this is about canon! nothing fanon)

It's just that Teru cares for his family so much and doesn't care about the others very much

He let Hanako live because Kou wanted to watch after him blah blah blah

He kept the pink bunny thingy (for the life of me I can't remember how to spell their name and don't wanna mess it up) because Tiara wanted it

He went to get the supernatrual back not because of Akane or Nene but because Kou wanted to.

Mostly everything he does is for his family(he also basically gave up his childhood so kou could live normally)

He sees Akane as a cockroach because he is half supernatural and the whole reason they even 'talk' is because of Akane being half supernatural. Teru doesn't even talk to the other student council members and even does their work when they skip out and I feel like he would do the exact same thing if our Akane was a normal human- he wouldn't care for him

And the whole reason he seems to 'care' is because Teru watches over him. But he only watches over him to make sure he doesn't do anything bad

And he might have a thing for Ao-chan but I have no idea (for we don't know why he would need her for something he wants)

I'm saying that if Akane(who is the only person he's 'close' too, if we wanna squint our eyes) asked Teru to help him get back Aoi-chan he'd roll his eyes at him or heck might even laugh but what I'm trying to say is he might pretend to consider it but his intention would never to actually do it because he will only do it for his family

He was content in living with no supernaturals but because kou wanted it he did it

And to when the attack happened in the severance I don't think he'd save Akane if he was in Kou's place(he would not risk his life for him) mainly because he would love to make sure that his family, Kou is in a safe area.

I repeated myself a little here but of well.

But in fanon totally!! Teru would swoop in and save our damsel, akane and his life for him because they are totally in loveeeeeeeeeeeee~~~!!! <33

And because this is long enough I'll just add a little more (sorry hon <3)

And in Akane's case

As we see when he is in love he isn't afraid to show it (we see this when he started dating Lemon because of the confession tree, because the tree made them a couple/made them fall in love lol- Oh Yamakane is super amazing and cute- I ship it btw) he purposes to Aoi-chan all the time and with lemon he told the entire class while do weird poses that they were in love and dating.

We see he doesn't act like a tsundere at all when in love

We see how he acts with his classmates - he's polite and kind and caring because he isn't the bestest of friends with them

So it's obvious he feels a friendship with Teru to show his true true self or in a bad way... he doesn't care enough to hide his true personality because he doesn't like him just like he doesn't like the other supernaturals

So yeah Akane may feel a friendship with Teru but he hates it because how Teru teases him about dating Aoi or literally tieing him in that supernatural weapon for hours on end while letting the (fucking can't remember how to spell) pink bunny things do what every they pleased

Yeah Teru gave him a thing to stop him from seeing supernaturals but I feel like he gave it to him because he felt pity or didn't want seeing these unnatural to mess up his school life (because again pity or something else but not a great feeling like care)

So canon Akane may feel a friendship with Teru but Teru probably feels a little bit of friendship(but then again he hates supernaturals so he is probably in denial about seeing him as a friend)

The thing is- Teru hates the dead people so it would probably take him sometime to even consider him a friend and would any day at anytime chose his family over anyone-even himself

while Akane-well I said it multiple times already now- sees him as a friend but is annoyed by that fact and is in love aoi-chan(even if he is a little, just a little /hj obsessed)

BUT IGNORING CANON TERUKANE IS AMZING- I LOVE IT- KISS ALREADY- TOTALLY CANON- I WANT IT TO BE CANON I LOVE LOVE LOVE THEM- TERU MY GAY ICON AND AKANE MY BI-CON <33333333 FANON IS THE BESTTTTTTT LOVEEE WOWOW

sorry for the long ask and typos, buddy :')

Oh and about the me running a mitsukou blog- I don't- I run a whole different fandom blog lol

I don't even read that much Mitsukou fanficion- I read like maybe 10 to 15 (I know that does probably seem like a lot but it isn't- I literally have a reading list where I have 100+ Hananene/amanene fanfics that I read so yeah it isn't a lot) I have read more Terukane fanfics

I actually do follow a Mitsukou blog but that's like maybe 1 or 2 while I follow so much Terukane/Hananene blogs Or just incorrect tbhk quotes

OH and again about the Yakoo and Satou they are totally dating- They literally had a divorce (in after school hanako or one of the extras I think) I love them so much

But how about NENEKANE

I love Nenekane- just think about it.... <3

Akane deserves all the love from everyone! :DD

Wait- this is making me think about who I ship this man with.... I ship him with lots of people wtf?

Teru, Aoi, Lemon, Nene and Hanako what

.... I thought about it and decided that Akane is a whore /j

sorry once again for making this ask MUCH Longer than it really should've been :'3

Hi Anon, thanks for clearing what you meant up! But I will kindly ask you to get tf out of my ask box, because I can find so many things about this that is completely misread and you seem to see Teru like most HanaNene shippers do (I know I'm passive aggressive but I'm a spiteful person and honestly I dislike most of the tbhk fandom and you end up in the rants I'm having a hard time not yelling how Teru's character is written) and honestly felt my Teru stan and kinnie self start boiling, I WILL SAY, Teru LOVES his siblings so much and yes he does SO much for them, and would do more, but let's be clear on Teru's character, he is so justice prone and raised off of it and as much as people say Kou is all about "justice" his form of showing it is horrible but Teru's morals are FAR better and he goes out of his way to help others,

now about your canon vs fanon......it is wrong beyond all reason, and here's the fuck why;

Teru only caring about his siblings is half right, he cares for them and tries to keep himself only to them but he ACTUALLY AND GENUINELY CARES FOR AKANE OK??? IN FUCKING CANON^^

first off, Teru has never seen Akane as just a half roach, and doesn't treat him as such AT ALL, he gave Akane the glasses because he wanted to give him the option he never had of getting a normal life, hearing Akane say how much this will change everything Teru genuinely saw a living in distress and wanted to help because that's his job, and he thinks a disgusting supernatural should never trick a human like that with such dirty tricks, in no way was this a pity move

TERU HERE EVEN CALLS IT A FAVOR!!! he didn't mind doing this at all and the expression (SPECIFICALLY HIS EYES AND EYEBROWS!!!THEY ARE A KEY FACT TO READING HIM!!I TOUCH ON HIS FACIAL EXPRESSION READING HERE) he makes looking at the glasses, and the attitude he seemed to have giving the glasses to Akane, he seems genuinely happy with what he did because he has helped a living in a situation they know nothing about, and he is GENUINELY remembering this moment, in no way does he show signs of pity here, it was not a pity move.

how does his facial expression say pity and no caring? his face when he doesn't care and thinks you're a sad sight is THIS

we can even see his face in the second to last panel, his eyes are closed and is the closest we'd get to the panel where he's messing with Akane, don't you see how different he acts and how different he looks? both panels have similar themes but the difference on how he treats a supernatural and Akane (a half supernatural) doesn't this show you how he sees him differently?

even when he talks about pitying and torturing Akane her he seems to be having a GOOD TIME MAKING AKANE'S LIFE HARDER (not in a genuine way but in a way that is entertaining to him and Akane DOESN'T MIND, he may say how annoying it is and it IS getting in the way of him doing his work, but he respects Teru SO MUCH!! Akane respects and looks up to Teru VERY much it's so amazing how much he trusts Teru with everything, and the mutual trust Teru shares, Teru never trusts anyone with anything, but I'll talk more on their trust later I'm the post) Akane has mentioned how Teru could get in trouble if he told anyone, but he doesn't!! because he genuinely finds no problem with this, he despises when he sees something unfair, and is SO QUICK to point it out! THE ENTIRE CLOCK KEEPER ARC WE SEE THIS PART OF HIM, he hates and finds it unfair how he has to go after Mirai and throughout the series he is constantly honest to Teru, and points out when something is unfair to others, he pointed out how unfair Hanako was being to Kou because he didn't even get a chance to help Nene, and he pointed out how unfair it was that Nene was roped into being Hanako's assistant, and how he himself was tricked, but he doesn't make sure Teru would stop this because if he apsolutely wanted him to stop he would put up more of a fight!! he can be so stubborn of he disagrees with something like how he is shown in the beginning of the grim reaper arc and Nene even had to try DRAGGING HIM!! arm in arm they were fighting, but Akane doesn't even give attitude or a temper towards Teru for tying him up, he is VERY collected about it, he just gets back up and continues, and Teru lets him down yk, I doubt he let his beads drop Akane accidentally, he never plans to keep him up there for too long, and was only severely tied up after the clock keeper arc because it was a punishment.

as much as Teru loves to call him pitiful and say things are sad to look at, the only thing he actually pitys looking at is a supernatural because they're made of regret, clinginess to the life they lost, rue, anger, jealousy, it genuinely upsetting to see such a vile creature cling so desperately, but Akane is no where near a supernatural, and he genuinely doesn't find him annoying or pitiful, he was tricked by a horrible supernatural, he doesn's hate Akane and never will, he may despise the way he goes about his crush for Aoi, he may think that a women should never be approached like that, shown in his card to Akane

he shows so much respect to Aoi, as a female because it's only curtis to be a gentleman, but he thinks the way Akane acts is apsolutely disgusting, NOT BECAUSE HE'S HALF SUPERNATURAL📢🚫 Teru in no way has an idea how to deal with a half supernatural like Akane and he doesn't do anything, he DOES make his life harder, and bullies him over being a half supernatural, but in NO👏WAY👏DESPISES👏HIM👏FOR👏IT

Teru is shown to respect women time and time again throughout the series, he's very gentlemenly when it came to Nene visiting them to return Hanitaro, and when he interacts with Aoi, and is always curtis with the background ladies we see.

now about that mutual trust they share for each other, first OFF!! Akane trusts, respects, and admires this man SO MUCH, and we see that when their relationship really starts to grow more, grim reaper arc and ALL of in between of current, after the betrayal of Teru not saying anything about Aoi not able to come, that tore him apart because that was the first time Teru wasn't honest with him, he didn't mention a mejor thing, but after thinking it over, he saw it as the right decision and Teru had done what was reasonable, he respects him that much!!

• • •

how can you ignore so much of what Teru has done and say it's only for his family? ok so Teru in the navigation arc has NOTHING to do with Kou!! and he even would have left him behind at home, but he didn't think ANY of this would take place, because his ENTIRE goal currently is to save Aoi, Teru would NEVER roll his eyes or laugh at Akane if he flat out asked for help, but instead Akane brung him back up in the shrine by saying he COULD do it himself and wouldn't mind because he'd never give up. Akane even EXPLAINED Teru's character to us at the sleep over!!

here this reaction of Teru's isn't a "I don't care to help you" but it's a "YOU HAVE ME ON POINT" Teru in NOW WAY has EVER been read like a book like this, honestly he's probably uncomfortable with how much Akane can see through him like glass, Akane here explains how justice prone Teru is (as I mentioned in the beginning) and tells us how much he works for the town and how he would help anyone if he thought there was even a slight chance (that's why he does nothing to stop Nene from seeing Hanako because it IS her destiny to die young, but Aoi's ISN'T, and she can be saved, which is why he will help wether others will join him to the far shore or not, leading Akane on to see if he'd catch on too his plans was a test of he should bring him or not, but Teru trusted Akane to catch on!! he thought Akane was smart enough and trusted him to be able to see what Teru was up too. but he didn't expect him to see so much about him, the face expression on Teru isn't not caring, he didn't ever think Akane knew him that well, he feels like an open book, he's never felt like that so of course he goes dead quiet, this is a first time, he doesn't know how to feel.

and what caught me tripping so bad was.....when you said canon Teru wouldn't save Akane if he was in Kou's shoes right now? because he would apsolutely protect Akane with his life! and he would protect Aoi and Kou too, yes, Kou will always come to his mind but the others that far behind and he will protect all of them in an instant. how can you say Teru wouldn't protect Akane when he already has?

in this scene after he came to save Akane and he had his breakdown because of Aoi, he was VERY worried about Akane and it's written all over his face and body language, I made a post on it, and that would fill the spot here, Teru knelt down to his level and put his hand over him, MAKING SURE NOTHING CAN HURT HIM, how can you see Teru as someone who doesn't care about anyone except family when he's done so much for people outside of family? and how could you write them off as they don't go under surface level when they understand each other without saying it!! Teru even leads the supernatural in the opposite direction even though moving to the other side might put him in a harder disadvantage, if he really just took pity on him he would act far more different. he goes as far as hitting Akane multiple times when he's wounded to get it across his stubborn head that he's fucking injured and can't do shit, I CANT EXPRESS HOW WORRIED HE LOOKED IN THESE PANELS IN THIS SCENE???

HIS FACE SAYS SO MUCH HERE AND HE DOESN'T SAY MUCH WHEN IT COMES TO THIS SCENE WE GOT WITH THEM AND THAT SHOWS HOW MUCH THIS IS STRESSING HIM, if you read the link to the post earlier about his facial expressions you'd understand what his eyebrows are saying right now. and THIS is an entire post on what I'm talking about right now so go read it go understand more, trust me these links I'm putting complete what I'm saying so I don't have to repeat it all in this post, otherwise I'd just copy and paste or it'd be VERY similar so just take the time to read them please :( IF YOU HAVEN'T ALREADY I MEAN

and how does Teru only care about his siblings when he went to the far shore prior to this ONLY for Akane

because he found the glasses and got WORRIED, he didn't know what happened to him, and even said to his face that he came to rescue him, and was surprised to find Aoi there, it's in his dialogue

Imagine my surprise...To find you this close to the far shore.

he meant Aoi, he only came her with the impression of helping Akane, and USES the terminology of help, I don't think the way he acts about how he came here with the thought of Akane in mind, and did that for Kou, like this HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH KOU, so how has he ONLY been doing this for his family? he has done so much for others in this series, he even apologized for coming later then when he'd like, probably because he hadn't realized Aoi was still with Akane otherwise if he rushed it more he could have saved her, but he'd thought they got separated or she was lost/taken or ANYTHING, he just didn't expect they'd still be together, so this shows how much he'd do for Akane hm? he'd go through the far shore, get worried at the sight of his glasses, save Aoi for Akane, he was completely aware of her Akane blood heritage during this and was completely ready to leave and never see her again, so how could he have a crush on Aoi when he literally didn't mind leaving her? he didn't care to save her, and thought she was gone, but after seeing her again, and Akane breaking down, having the worst week of his life, he couldn't just leave Aoi, he went above and beyond to figure out a way to save Aoi, for Kou? nooo, for Tiara? noooo, why the fuck would Kou care so much about Aoi? it's not in his objectives when he mentions it, and when he thinks of Nene's objectives he doesn't really care about Aoi, she's a upperclassmen he's seen and she's the most popular girl in school, why would he want Teru to specifically save Aoi when he could care less and has NEVER mentioned her? because Teru has a strong sense of helping those who can be helped and Akane would lose himself without her.

• • •

Akane's respect despite, of the betrayal he felt after Teru never told him about how Aoi couldn't come back, he blamed himself, and his respect for Teru SKYROCKETED, he went above and beyond defending Teru's actions in his head and always sees the moves he makes as rational, but I'm sure if he REALLY had a problem with it he'd say so he's a very honest person, but he understood why Teru did and acted like that, he completely understood him after the severance and in that week he really did still respect him (I touch on that in this post too), he defended him at the sleepover and asked if he really was the one protecting the entire town by night, Akane wants to see the best in Teru, not in fanon, but in CANON, he explained why and tried so hard to see if Teru really was so reliable, and he was READY to defend him in the shrine

even in a shrine, which he was making sure to be on better behavior, he wouldn't stand for people saying bad things about Teru that were just wrong, and wanted to get in the middle of them, and the next panel he tries to interfere again, saying how it's not that simple and probably had a lot more to say and got very frustrated when he just stormed out, not to mention how he openly let Teru vent about his feelings, he didn't stop him from moping but he didn't know what to do either. tbh he lifted Teru back up and gave him the will to keep going and the smile he gives Akane and the way he looks at him would be enough to tell you he cares a lot more then you think, he doesn't look at ANYONE else the same and only gives Akane these types of smiles, sadly I've reached the image limit but the way Teru smiles and acts towards him compared to how he treats others is so....fruity

I DO agree that TeruKane mutually hate that they subconsciously love and care for each other and watch each other's back sjsjshdj but not in the way you exactly described.

and that's another point of trust! they watch and fight each other back to back all the time and trust each other to watch out for themselves but don't hesitate to save each other, in the navigation arc when they're fighting on the train Teru doesn't hesitate to help him but he also trusted him to protect himself and watch Teru's back whilst still having his injury(sense Akane never got healed) their mutual trust is such a strong part of their relationship.

and if Teru really didn't care why would he invite him on a three way date? he had fun with him even ordering something for him and something they could share, would he really do that if all he cared about was his family?? I don't really know what you think of the date as sense you seem to see Teru as someone who is shallow and only looks out for his family when he cares and does so much for the entire school/town/characters and he's sacrificed everything for others, not just his family, although he's completely dedicated to making his family happy but his character doesn't solely revolve around his family and canon TeruKane is SO much better then fanon and their dynamic and interactions are very amazing and they really do go deeper then skin deep, it's just like how Akane over the series isn't JUST about Ao-chan. Teru and Akane care for more characters in this series and they care about each other, wether they'll ever admit it to each other or not.

I'm going to say it now, Teru wouldn't gone back to the far shore if Aoi turned out okay because Kou wanted to save Hanako or see Mitsuba (which Kou would NEVER tell Teru, and from what we saw in chapter 87 Teru doesn't have much insight in what Kou feels or thinks) and he was going to exercise Hanako regardless of Kou, because he'd warned him before that he wouldn't hesitate on it if he acted out. so the navigation arc didn't take place at all because Teru was doing this for Kou, he would honestly think Kou's better off moving on and finding a way to cope, Teru would never want Kou to be involved in the supernaturals that twisted his morals, so this is something he would never do for Kou. he even expected Kou to stand by the sidelines, and was surprised when he took action against him.

Teru even tossed Kou out of the way of No.6 towards Akane because he knew he could trust Akane with him, COME ON DO WE EVEN HAVE TO MENTION THAT TERU HAD AKANE PROMISE TO PROTECT KOU?????? TERU STUSTS NO.ONE. WITH THAT EXCEPT HIMSELF!!!! why would he ask and trust a half supernatural he hates and would never do anything for to protect his brother? because THEY MUTUALLY TRUST EACH OTHER!! Teru believes Akane would honestly keep the promise and help him as much as he can in the future, tbh Teru would have trusted him blindly to protect him but he was worried about the near future (we still don't know why Teru made him make the promise in particular, looking at you AidaIro) but he needed to be sure and make sure Akane had the objective

TERU HAS NEVER IN HIS ENTIRE LIFE ASKED SOMEONE ELSE TO KEEP HIS BROTHER SAFE‼️‼️NOT A SHRINE PRIEST NOT NENE‼️ NO👏ONE👏 EXCEPT👏THIS👏BITCH👏👏

(uhmmmmmm nvm ig I lied here's my analysis—idk of this is generic but yk @stillhumanoidblob hope you enjoyed or it wasn't as good as you hoped</3) btw Anon Tiara owns a

M o k k e

it's name is Minamoto Fairy, remember it.

sorry if I came on too strong or hurt your feelings Anon, but your ask made my Teru stan boil because I read this man like I read the back of a label, I love him and I think obsessing over fanon can be so sjdjd idk canon is much better and he isn't and never has been an un caring asshole who only looks out for family.

btw I ship TeruKane(my otp), AoiKane(on certain days/qpr) YamaKane, HanaKane(not romantically) AkaNene(I love it sm) TeruKaneAoi(underrated HE IS SUCH A WHORE

anyways thanks for sharing Anon sorry I had to go off on you but this ask got me fuming (I have a temper)

BUT I DON'T MAKE THEIR DYNAMIC CONSTANTLY ROMANTIC!! I hate when people do that :(

but most of my posts could be taken as romantic? that's fine! but I enjoy them sm

THIS IS NOT PROOFREAD!! please forgive any Grammer mistakes I text fast!

[crown-jay]

Hello!

I am someone who thinks they also might be a Median System. Your posts about you figuring this out are super helpful and relatable! I also felt the same click when I found the term median system where I was like “That’s it.. that’s me..” I also had the same experience of discovering what DID was in 2018 and being like “Am I??? NAhhhh… right???” up until this year when I started really swinging the opposite way of “Oh no this is a thing I am somewhere in this group” I'm trying to relate my experiences to others to see if I'm on the right path to figuring this all out.

Tell me if these are relatable or not:

I also feel comfier with plural first pronouns, I've always felt like it's me and my brain (where the now discovered "others" live) and together we are a "we".

Another way I kinda described it to myself was feeling like a system that never fully fractured.

Or that it was the way people describe masking but at an extreme where I’m not TRYING to change my behavior, it just sorta happens and I’m “someone else”. 

Or what I called masking felt more like skipping songs in a playlist to get to the right one instead of putting on a mask. 

For me sometimes I expect to see a different face in the mirror and I get weirded out while still recognizing that, that is me and my face.

If these are not relatable at all please let me know and be honest.

Some questions:

Do you have amnesia?

You said that you can’t tell someone has been fronting till after. What tells you that someone was fronting?

No pressure to respond or answer any of these btw. Bottom line: Thank you for sharing your process through all this it has been very helpful comparing experiences.

Hi, thanks for reaching out! Sorry for the delayed response, we had a small crisis and went back in denial but we're good now.

We're much more comfortable with plural first person pronouns, though we're still getting used to using them online, sort of testing the waters at the moment. We agree with the "me and my brain" sentiment. It's like there was always something there but we just couldn't figure out what it was. Turns out, there was something, and that something was other people lol

Our system is definately less fractured then others. Our switches are smoother and we're less distinct from each other.

We mask a lot. Although we have a hard time figuring out what is masking and what is the host fronting, as a lot of the time we mask to copy the host. So maybe we're not actually that similar, we just mask a lot. We assume time will tell.

More often than not, our reflection doesn't reflect (hehe) our inner appearance. It can be quite jarring at times, especially for Orym, since he is a cis man in an AFAB body.

In answer to your questions:

No? But also, kind of? We don't experience amnesia in the sense that we blackout and can't remember what other alters have done while we're not fronting. We remember that but it's like we remember it from a different perspective. Like we witnessed fronting instead of experiencing it (unless, of course, we were the one fronting at that time) that's the best explanation we've come to. We tend to have emotional amnesia when looking back on times we weren't fronting, unless we were close to the front. For example if I (Sawyer) was fronting and experienced an angering experience, Orym would remember the experience, but wouldn't remember how exactly I was feeling. He might feel anger about it, but he won't remember or feel my anger. Not sure if that makes sense.

We've gotten better at knowing who's fronting. Usually we use process of elimination. While our alters are quite similar, they still have their differences, even if they're little things. Not masking a lot? Probably Bastian, since it doesn't mask as much as the rest of us. They also don't talk much. More soft spoken? Probably Orym. Generally less dysphoric? That's Ajax. Et cetera. I think that's a good tip, especially for median systems. If you find that alters are sometimes too similar to differentiate them effectively, find their small differences, ones that generally only correspond to one of them. You can then look for those when determining who is fronting, co-fronting, co-con, etc.

If you have anymore questions, feel free to ask! In fact, answering these made us realise things about ourselves which helped us understand our system better! So that's pretty cool.

[septembersghost]

I didn't mean you at ALL btw. Your discussions always seemed logical to me considering you have only found connections between the songs and linking it with what SHE CONFIRMED. I also don't mind talking about her/joe considering she herself wrote about it. But I feel like there is a line in my own brain which I don't like crossing(idk how to explain it but certain topics come and I'm like no honey dont go there)(again I never got it from you). For example I don't mind talking about how Taylor

Had fling with TH and circumstances for it because she revealed it. Or looking back at 1989 gifs knowing about her ED. But back then if someone said she had ED I would have been highly uncomfortable since we would have been making assumptions about her personal life. But her unconfirmed flings ( esp AS because they both DENIED IT or zac efron thing AGAIN BECAUSE OF DENIAL). You are right again. It speaks about the celebrity culture more than anything at this point

i didn't think you did! but thank you <3

since you mention this, i do have to admit i firmly believed she had an ED back then and was increasingly worried about her, and it got to the point where seeing her was so triggering for me that i avoided photographs of her altogether at that time, but it's only because i recognized things i'd already seen and experienced in myself, and i wasn't sure i was right, i was just concerned. if i hadn't had the firsthand experience, it likely would've not felt quite that acute to me. that said, i also didn't discuss it publicly, like i didn't say i thought CH was terrible, or didn't mention her in 2016 when i thought it was evident she was struggling pretty badly. the only person who heard me express any of this at the times it was happening was my mom (and i hate that i was right, especially in regards to her ED, because i wouldn't wish that on anyone, and i'm so proud of how far she's come and her ability to mention it and continue with her recovery). i do think sometimes we see reflections of things we understand in others, but we should still be cautious when talking about it on a public forum out of deference to them as humans.

thinking she's hooked up with people who have flat-out denied it or have only been mentioned as rumor is simply disconcerting/disrespectful to me and feels like leaning into the slut shaming culture even if it's not intended that way. but things she's written about and described in detail herself are public record, they're essential and a part of her art, so we can decide how to approach that and how to respectfully discuss it and its meaning.

I feel like there is a line in my own brain which I don't like crossing no same, and that's probably different for everyone and that's fine! we have to recognize what our own boundaries are and what we see as okay to approach. being interested/curious about artists and their experiences itself is never a negative thing! it's very human and universal, audiences have been captivated by the people who create things for centuries, it's all in how we engage and how we talk about and treat them. the moment it becomes cruel or dehumanizing is the moment i'm not interested in seeing it. but recognizing their struggles/joys and their inspirations and their complexities is an extension of empathy.

[katierosefun]

for the fic writer ask game: 🍉🍒🍑

thank you for the ask!! // from these asks

🍉 Do you prefer to write short fics or long fics? Multichaptered works or single ones? Why?

i think these days, i tend to write shorter fics, but i always love writing long fics--whether it be multichaptered or just like. longshots.

🍒 What’s your favorite character dynamic to write? (Can be romantic or platonic, specific or general!)

oh man, just anything that you see cropped up on my ao3 these days--a lot of joo won and dong sik, jim kirk and leonard mccoy. butcher and hughie are fun too. i think i just like those dynamics because of how loud their voices are in my head when i'm writing them.

like, joo won and dong sik's dynamic tends to balance between sometimes kind of gentle and sharp, depending on the mood and day--sort of like sparks chasing after each other, kind of bright, kind of dangerous sometimes, but also occasionally very warm and oddly comforting. whereas jim and len's are always full of a lot of. idk. writing them feels like slipping into jeans: sort of comfortable, familiar, with inside jokes that i don't even know about yet. and then there's butcher and hughie, who are. it's all very flash and bang sort of work, or like something running down a fuse.

🍑 If you could make a connection between your favorite character and another work you care about (whether a crossover/fusion or a wonderfully “pretentious” literary reference) what would it be? How would it work?

so this is actually an excellent time for me to plug the moment that like. i’m currently writing a daisy jones & the six au of sorts for beyond evil crew–but it feels less like it’s based off something just because dong sik did want to pursue music, so! it still feels like a tribute to that path somehow, except now dong sik actually wound up doing music and roping his friends into a band, plus yu yeon’s alive and doing the keys, and now for some reason, sang bae (who is a producer in this au) is like “hey btw. you are going to include this random soloist now. no i am not going to explain myself. i think you need him and he needs you though.”

and even though like. this all takes place in korea, i feel like i might include some interesting cameo where like. maybe dong sik and billy dunne cross paths / joo won and daisy jones cross paths, just because haha i think it’s funny that they have some initials in common–and not that billy dunne and daisy jones have too similar personalities to dong sik and joo won, i think there might be some common ground between them (ie. billy dunne and dong sik are both very charismatic people and very deeply loving of the people around them, but also i think they both feel broken very deep down, except they might be more in denial about it than anything else–and while i think billy dunne is absolutely more selfish than dong sik ever could be, i do think they might be able to relate to each other in like. “i have to make up for the fact that i wasn’t good to my family” somehow, because even in this au, lol, i’m giving dong sik MORE PROBLEMS … and alternatively, daisy jones and joo won are both incredibly prideful and maybe a little bit oblivious about how easily they get people’s attention, but also, i think they have incredibly addictive personalities and that kind of obsessive “i can do it better” attitude that either makes them great or spiral).

this has gotten incredibly long, but all that to say: i think it’d be cool for them to run into each other in their respective brooding sessions. (esp. on like. the topic of. not wanting to be drawn to someone and hating that you are drawn to someone but also like. what do you do when you recognize yourself in another what do you do when no one can deny that sparks are flying but also. you can’t. you can’t and etc)

[aroacearsonist69]

Hiii <3 i won't ask you only one question, thats boring 👻

9,10,50

ʘ‿ʘ

Thank you for the ask :D

9. What made me realize I'm Aroace?

Well, I realized I'm ace first and it was on a walk outside with my asexual friend. He talked about his experience and I was like "Hold up, people actually feel sexual attraction???!!?? THAT EXISTS??" and then I tried on the label demiace to see if it fits me, but it didn't, since I thought I needed an emotional bond but it didn't change anything about the fact that I never felt sexual attraction lmao. So I had the asexual label for a very long time :D (Btw I also found the label aegosexual which I use alongside of identifying as ace)

Figuring out I'm aromantic took way longer tho

I remember also choosing the demiromantic label and having that one for way longer bc I couldn't grasp the concept of romantic attraction no matter what so I just stuck with "I bet I'll feel it once I have a deep enough connection with someone for sure".

A lot of time passes and after I broke up with my toxic ex, I reflected on my romantic attraction or rather the lack of it.

I looked back only to find that every time I confessed my "feelings" to someone, it was because I felt pressured to do so and going into a romantic relationship with that someone was something I had to do once I felt something (even though I didn't feel romantic attraction). After those confessions and making a relationship official I just felt dreaded and sad, without knowing the cause and being mad at myself because "I'm supposed to be happy rn". Kissing always felt like a robotic action, like my mind was somewhere else and I was overanalyzing my lip movements without actually enjoying the kissing part. Besides, kissing (especially with tongue) is very repulsing for me.

My other friend (who is Aroace and figured out being aro way earlier then me) once told me that "wait, why can't you do all those things in a romantic relationship also in a platonic one? It all sounds like friendship to me."

I should've known earlier when I related very hard to that statement and couldn't answer their question when they asked me what romantic attraction is supposed to feel like.

So I finally came to terms with being Aroace! (Quoi- and belllusromantic as well) and now have two very amazing queerplatonic relationships :)

10. What would I rather do then a romantic relationship?

Being so close to my friends that everyone assumes we are romantic partners even though we know we aren't, cuddles, kisses on the forehead and sharing domestic lives. But also, I want to be pinned down by pretty boys and kissed along my neck (I enjoy kisses on my neck because they actually feel good, unlike kisses to the lips) and have a make out session without the making out...you know? (AGH IT'S SO COMPLICATED)

50. Any arospec headcanons?

Okay, hear me out, but I think Kunikida is aromantic/greyromantic.

Because the way he plans out his "The one" to the point you could consider them fictional because the standards are so high? That man just has internalised aphobia because he wants "To wait for the one and he won't date anyone else until he finds them" sounds very aro in denial to me. Or he is greyromantic and finds a person he does feel romantic attraction to and is like. "What the fuck, this isn't supposed to happen. I thought love is a thing I can choose and control??? The right one ACTUALLY EXISTS????"

so yeah.

Sorry for the rambling I usually don't get to talk a lot about my Aroace identity in real life so thanks for listening :3

[mossy-petrichor]

please make sure this is anonymous message Hi?! I was scared for a second that You deleted that account but I scrolled back and now I see that You changed the name and profile picture. I just wanted to say that I sent you anon asks many times before. And I came to say Hi. And I was the one wondering Abt being monoconsious median system. AND I've read more about OSDD- 1 today and. I 🫣just ... I think....🥚🥚🥚🥚🍳🍳🍳🍳🍳🍳okay? But yeah in the morning I will tell myself that I'm faking again. Ibut I have a proof from my last experiences. I just wanted to say I made that diagnostic test that is linked to plurapedia and I scored 34, something.... Is this a sign I should stop thinking I'm faking it ? Because in one moment I will be sure it's true and in the other moment I will think I'm faking I want to know .... But last time I got angry at my leg for "faking " the one I refer as the other one in me cut off my emotions and I couldn't feel anything for a minute no matter what I thought about. Is this a proof? Sorry sorry sorry for this long ass post but. I probably sound stupid AF but.... And I shouldn't say I if it's true but I cannot say we because ehm no one irl knows ... But I want to have proof I'm not faking. Thank you for being a person who somehow introduced me to researching the topic. I just wanted to know that a lot of plegg-culture-is posts are relatable to me and I see my "thought patterns"described very well when I read about functions of system members on puralpedia but yeah there is not so much being distinct so that's why I'm afraid of faking but I read many times that median systems are real so... I hope you will read This.

Haii glad I could help! Boo here btw :3c

So! Going over

1- thinking you're faking is so so normal, and it takes a while. If you do have OSDD or DID, those are meant to be "hidden" disorders in some way, which is why denial is so common in people who have it. In the end, denial is a protective measure. Don't worry! The doubt will settle eventually

What helped me was like.. well, if you're "faking"*, what then? What would be so bad about it? If you label oranges as apples, they don't stop being oranges and magically become apples. You're not hurting anyone by figuring yourself out, and it's okay if you're mistaken in the end

We also felt like that for a while, and now it's been two years since we started considering being a system. And well, whatever our experience is, it fits DID and that framework helps us

I have a post by a friend from a server, a lot of what I said here comes from them, but I can send it if you want it! Just lmk

2- you don't have to refer to yourself as "we" if you don't want to, all that language stuff is so very optional. It's just what fits you better, what comes more naturally

*faking here referring to being mistaken about being a system. Actual faking is a conscious decision, people who fake having something don't feel distress over wether they're faking or not

[alwayshaveneverholdd]

If you do ships/matchups, can I have a male Naruto one please?

Appearance: I’m a 27 yo black woman with locs that I sometimes put crystals in. I’ve been told I resemble a fairy high is funny because my name actually means fairy queen. I’m slim with an athletic build and I have dark brown eyes, and high cheekbones. I have my own sense of style and one day I can be dressed like a total hippie, and the next like I belong in a rock band and the next day pretty chic.

Personality: I’m an INFP, Sagittarius, and straight. I’m sort of a free spirit and pretty independent. Even though I come off as super calm on the outside I have adhd. I can get nervous around guys I actually like (but I like to think I play it off well) and don’t have crushes for that long or that often unless he’s special. I’m also pretty bad about getting bored easily and if I see he’s not making much effort or we’re not getting anywhere, I move on pretty fast. I’d say I’m pretty in touch with my feelings but I don’t cry or get angry in front of others if I can help it. I’m sorta reserved until I get to know you better and then I’m more talkative. I’d say I’m pretty friendly unless you give me a reason not to be and I’m also pretty introverted. I’m not shy but I need time alone to recharge but occasionally I go overboard and will be alone for weeks at a time as far as only going to work and then home. I’m also pretty bad at standing up for myself but I stand up for others in a heartbeat. I hate when people are judgy, mean or don’t bother accepting or respecting other cultures.

Interests: I travel a lot alone, love listening to and playing music, crocheting and rollerskating. I’m also studying to become a teacher. I love trying new things and am pretty adventurous. I also like reading when I have time, going out clubbing occasionally, and being out in nature hiking, swimming, sun bathing. Thank you!!

HELLO FELLOW INFP!!

I love your vibes btw, I got a pretty good visual so thank you for the detail!

At first I wanted to say Naruto but I think you'd get on better with someone a little more grounded and mature (Ik he's the hokage now but Boruto gives me angina so lets not talk about that show LOL)

Pls don't hate me for this but I match you with:

KIBA

Kiba can be a jackass sometimes but I think you're more than capable of putting him in his place, which I think would be a turn-on for him LOL

idgaf what wiki says, this man is a whole fire sign and he's active and passionate asf, like every word that comes out of his mouth is like

"WHEN I FLEXXX!!!!!!

I FEEL MY BEEEEEESSTTTTT!!!!!!"

I also think traveling and having adventures is something you two can share together as well as different kinds of physical activities, as it seems you're pretty outdoorsy. SHARING FEELINGS? UWU. Two fire signs in denial that is so cute uwuwuuwuwuwu LOL I'm jk but honestly you could really connect and talk about things with each other that you just can't with others!

Things might get heated sometimes with both of your strong personalities (you've got mental STRENGTH girl I can feel it) but that could also be fuel for your passionate relationship. He can learn a lot from you, and you can rely on him 10000% if you ever need anything, no matter what terms you guys are on. I sense that "ride or die" type of relationship yk!!!!!

I hope you like your matchup and thank you for the ask~

[leafy-wings]

i actually really agree on a lot of people being hyprocritical when it comes to moral wof judgements! i think due to the nature of wof, people are inherently going to be influenced by their emotions when it comes to discussing it. personally, i'm sort of the opposite of you - i understand darkstalker more than arctic. ofc not all (mostly because he's very as you said comically evil which gives a bit of disconnect) but as someone with a lot of npd traits, i connect a lot to aspects of how he's-

-written, especially struggling with morals and the intensive desire to have prestige/a position of power/respect/etc and the desire to be loved by everyone. i feel i'm also more sympathetic because of how young darkstalker is- arctic is a fully grown adult, while darkstalker is the equivalent of a 15 - 17 year old; he's incredibly toxic, don't get me wrong, and a lot of the situations he's in are more extreme due to the nature of wings of fire being a magical fantasy series-

-but i also feel as though the general theme of struggling with toxic behaviors due to abuse/mental illness is a very relatable thing for a lot of people. i still feel as though darkstalker wasn't a good person, but i think he could have had a better chance Of being if he was in different circumstances. i have a lot of issues with tui's writing of him in general tbh though, i feel as though his story as a whole could have been handled a Lot better

(oh btw same anon! this isn't meant to be like! coming for you/mean or anything, i'm genuinely interested in this topic- i'm not great with tone due to neurodivergency and wanted to clarify since i know i can come off as trying to start arguments/rude when i try to discuss things; also sorry for the massive rant, i'm Very passionate about wof whoops- let me know if you need to drop the conversation! i don't want to stress you out)

dont feel sorry! i do like talking about this and the neurodivergent angle towards characters. its not like i CANT relate to darkstalker; ive been someone who was a toxic child before due to being in an abusive household (hell, im still in the midst of that). i think struggling hard with mental illness that makes me feel obligated to be loved and cherished by those around me due to my talents is actually something i struggle with right now, and part of the reason i actually DONT feel bad for him. because i know its a real world problem i have, im terrified of hurting other people, and i HATE seeing unhealthy toxic behaviors. it makes me feel like im losing my mind, like this is MY problem that IM trying to fix, and YOURE not trying to fix yourself? it feels like a personal insult to me, that a character that has my problems is praised where i am only excluded and isolated. i think its also just personal repression and self consciousness and self hate, like i said before about being abused but identifying with the abuser and hating the abused when we’re more similar; i really, really hate myself for being toxic, and i, in return, hate characters who i relate with. maybe its BAD that i feel like that, that a character who i see myself within is inexcusable because thats how i (knowingly unhealthily) regards myself, but i just prefer to think.. we should all try and be better people, and thats looking at things objectively and coming pros and cons and the weight of peoples crimes and their feelings. i wish it was so easy as mentally ill characters in media being sequestered from their bad situation, and then theyd just get over it. i wish that was me, and i wish that was every character who i see as myself.

i relate to peril in regards to “mental illness but its dragons”. i have very bad bpd that makes me dependent on others but inclined to hurting them by begging for attention, im just prone to violence and rash decisions. i relate to her in that i feel like every relationship i enter will end harshly; it is how i am inclined, how i was born, and how i was raised, to resort to raising my voice and turning my back on others instead of peaceful endings. i dont know why i see peril as different from darkstalker, but id like to figure it out.

i think the difference is that darkstalker doesnt really struggle, to me. from a young child he believed in himself so thoroughly, and he enters every moral argument believing himself to be right. this is understandable, this is realistic; until it happens for the 5th, 10th, 20th time. perhaps hes supposed to show off the sunk cost fallacy or denial, but to me he just shows up as someone who earnestly does not want to improve as a person. it is unfair to those who have been inclined to unhealthy behaviors but tried to improve, because darkstalker does not try, he just gets worse and worse.