grace-and-irony - Tumblr blog

[grace-and-irony]

Pain inflicted

Doused the flame

Love-addicted

Not the same

Crushed hope

Flickered trust

A tired trope

Ought to rust

[grace-and-irony]

You don't even see the knots you've tied

in my heart and around my mind

You lament about your knots, and I've tried

to help untie yours and forget about mine

But now I've run out of rope; there's nothing left

I'm struggling for small freedoms from you

And all the while you're still the main event

Why can't you see my point of view ?

[grace-and-irony]

It's not right that life simply carries on unimpeded when we can't be together.

If it were up to me the heavens would shake, the seas would rage, and the world would slow down to the speed of my sorrow.

[grace-and-irony]

Your voice catches me by surprise every time

Not because it's all that strange or different

But because it's yours, and it's talking to me

Your melted tones and comfortable cadence

When you speak for me and no one else

As though you've known me your whole life

I bask in the familiar sounds and sentiments

Your speech pours out as resonanting harmonies

Ricocheting against my heart and mind

I wonder, sometimes, if my voice is that to you

[grace-and-irony]

“I am afraid I will be like this forever.”

— Sierra DeMulder, “Today Means Amen”

[grace-and-irony]

It's like that feeling when you know you're forgetting something important.

You're wracking your brain, you can't figure out what it is, you just know it's not there.

You retrace your steps, you stop to assess your current state.

Your mind is turning inside out, you know this is a crucial thing.

You really shouldn't go on without it, but nothing is coming to you.

Time won't wait for you, you have to keep moving forward.

You can't help but feel empty, unprepared.

You're longing for something that might not even exist.

Maybe you're paranoid, maybe you're fine. You're certainly functioning perfectly well.

But could you be better?

Better with something.. or someone?

What could fix this?

Who could complete me?

Why am I not enough?

[grace-and-irony]

Turmoil, a catalyst

Born from pain

Raw, a fatal kiss

Indifference feined

Molten tears

Scratched desolation

The conscience sneers

A cruel inspiration

[grace-and-irony]

You're the one I want to talk about

The one I could sing songs about

The one that I have thoughts about

The one I sit and sigh about

The one I could write books about

The one I love to smile about

The one I'd dare to dream about

But the one who doesn't think about

me

[grace-and-irony]

“Never apologize for how you feel. No one can control how they feel. The sun doesn’t apologize for being the sun. The rain doesn’t say sorry for falling. Feelings just are.”

— Iain S. Thomas, Intentional Dissonance

[grace-and-irony]

i live in a void. i scream into that void unless you come and fish me out. however, you seem to have set down your gear and walked away. i can’t help but blame myself. maybe i wasn’t interesting anymore? maybe i wasn’t the poet you looking for? maybe my colors were muddy in your eyes? there are other fish in the sea, but i never though you’d leave me for them. i never thought you’d leave me alone, in my void, throat soar from screaming at nothing

[grace-and-irony]

My thoughts run a million miles a minute

I sit in pain and frustration as I try to reconcile with reality

Instead of believing pretty lies

I want to be loved, like a rare cut gem

I want to feel special

I don't want to objectify myself in my mind

Telling myself my breasts are too small

Therefore I can't be desirable

That I have too much cellulite when the lighting isn't right

That my nose is too wide and my lips are too thin

That I should starve myself to keep my waist at a minimum

While my butt should be bubbly and defy gravity

That he could quickly search another girl on the internet to please his fantasies

While I lie awake battling demons

Facing my reality while he escapes his

How can "I love you" mean a thing when there are so many secrets?

Could you please fill me in?

I'm hopeless and choking on all of my reasons

To stay here, as I am

But God has me believing that this could get better

I still have your sweater

That reminds me of all of the shit I hope I never have to go through again

But each relationship is like a record replaying

Days out and days in, stuck in the negative emotion

Feeling so alone in the battle with my double edged sword

I either lose myself or lose you, either way there's no reward

Maybe I should speak up and get these things off of my chest

Maybe I should hide away and give this a motherfucking rest

Maybe these difficulties are all just a test

That I didn't study for

And the answer key is locked away in the teacher's drawer

Pick myself up off the floor

Wipe the snot from my face

Give myself an embrace because in the end

I am the one that I'm fighting for

[grace-and-irony]

Ungodly hour

Pain without a place

Mouth gone sour

What a fucking waste

A heart on a sleeve

A bird in a nest

I almost believed

But now I must rest

[grace-and-irony]

And even then I hoped

That I was something more

And even when I broke

I didn't close the door

[grace-and-irony]

Someone else

The entire time

Kid myself

His heart's not mine

[grace-and-irony]

You have left me behind

Without a care or a thought

I have lost what you will find

You will grow and I will rot

You have left me behind

I stand glued to the spot

All I want is to rewind

All you want is to stop

[grace-and-irony]

My hope is a seed and I planted it here

Your light is the sun that shines

The glow helps me grow so to you I'll stay near

I'm starting to think I'll be fine

[grace-and-irony]

I am blind to the burning wreckage of my own desires and despairs. The fire burns me sometimes, but I never quite know where or why it hurts. I can't see it. I've forgotten how. But the flames are fed every time "I'm fine" is spoken. These days I don't even know what's burning. Love? Pain? Have I been burning the things that make me who I am? How do I look for something I can no longer see? How can I possibly extinguish a wildfire that's decades in the making? And if I can... Will there even be anything left?