#The rules

[blueeyesfilledwithpassion]

The Rules

💙

[jonnywaistcoat]

So, since I have returned to this site, I’ve seen a few people going “oh no! what if Jonny looks at My Posts with the judgemental eyes of The Creator?! what if he reblogs me out of nowhere to the scorn of millions?”

Thus, in the interests of assuaging the growing Climate of Fear, I have composed the following

List of ways Jonny will be interacting with Tumblr dot com

Things Jonny will do

Shitpost / reblog shitposts

Answer asks that catch my fancy

Promote current projects or appearances

Things Jonny MIGHT do occasionally if the mood takes him

Quietly browse tags of finished projects (Magnus, Mechs, etc.)

Engage with posts that specifically @ me

Things Jonny almost certainly won’t do, but not going to swear to it

Answer asks about past projects (I’ve done plenty of Q&As and prefer to let them stand on their own)

Meaningfully engage with fandom stuff

Things Jonny will NEVER do

Look at anything tagged #do not archive

Let you know whether or not I have seen your weird post about me or my work. You will never know.

Hope that clears things up and establishes that you have nothing to fear from my presence here. It’s fine. Go about your business. All is well.

[apoemaday]

The Rules

by Kyle Carrero Lopez

after Adrian Piper

1.        I will always mean what I say.

(In all things art, put quality first. Being a dick can fly, to a point, if you know they’ll coin it “sass.” Shake the dice. Switch the code. Girls and gays: that’s Bible. Pre-Bible, really — a duo waaay back to cuneiform slabs. Not really. It’s all too yum to make stuff like that up. I been Mister Jester from the jump, stay tellin’ tall tales. Stay worried what could come if I stop being fun. How the glances change, how they might do me, what I might do.)

2.       I will always do what I say I am going to do.

(Never ever date a babe with your name. Put some drama in each umbrella unfurl. Walk like you know where you’re going, where you come from. Like a too-loud blouse from a not-close friend, discomfort’s a gift I’ll quickly return. I’m a bill on Capitol Hill; I sing the body electorate. Your contracts for you ain’t for me to sign. If contraction’s not an option, be massive: Fagamemnon. Break any rule that would break you.)

3.       I will always be too expensive to buy.

(At brokest broke I took seven caramel chews from a book launch, ate ’em all, called it a night. Was this a queering of dinner? Time is money in that I got neither. My sweet friend Mikey once paid half my March rent. Though I’m not much one to pray — I sit by a dad who resembles my uncle D with a baby in a stroller lookin’ just like one of my cousins, we’re waiting for the A train, I’m dying to tell him his son, a sleepy, pouting dahlia sprout, is so angelic, so darling, but no guarantee it’d go well, assumptions create assumptions create silence — I’m not a girl, not yet a father, who the fuck am I to this man but guise of gay voice, gay shirt, shadow, beard; the A arrives, we board separate cars — my eyes shut with the doors. I hold tight to the handrail, ask something please, please, hold them.)

[mintytremolite]

Some doodles before bed

Bonus

They're fun to draw :P

[yandere-romanticaa]

-> this is a character x reader blog only. which means, no character x character. i'm alright with writing for multiple characters x reader though.

-> if you request a character that is a child (a la nahida from genshin impact) the relationship will immediately be a platonic one. don't be weird.

-> reader is usually gender neutral or female unless stated otherwise. i try my best to make the reader gender neutral though because i want it to be inclusive. please include in your request the gender of the reader that you want, if you don't i shall make it gender neutral by default.

-> yandere requests only. if you want fluff check out @romanticaacore.

-> please limit your request to five characters. anything other than that can get overwhelming.

-> when requesting please refer to this list.

-> i'm not very good when it comes to smut therefore i would not recommend you send me a detailed request in regards to that.

Rules may be updated in the future.

[kirbylives]

Randy's Trilogy Rules

“But here’s the critical thing. If you find yourself dealing with an unexpected backstory and a preponderance of exposition, then the sequel rules do not apply. Because you’re not dealing with the sequel. You are dealing with the concluding chapter of a trilogy. That’s right. It’s a rarity in the horror field but it does exist, and it is a force to be reckoned with. Because true trilogies are about going back to the beginning and discovering something that wasn’t true from the get-go.”

“RULE ONE: YOU’VE GOT A KILLER WHO’S GOING TO BE SUPERHUMAN.”

“Stabbing him won’t work; shooting him won’t work. Basically, in the third one, you gotta cryogenically freeze his head, decapitate him or blow him up.”

“RULE TWO: ANYONE, INCLUDING THE MAIN CHARACTER, CAN DIE.”

“This means you, Sid, I’m sorry. It’s the final chapter.”

“RULE THREE: THE PAST WILL COME BACK TO BITE YOU IN THE ASS."

“Whatever you think you know about the past, forget it; the past is not at rest. Any sins you think were committed in the past are about to break out and destroy you.”

[linskywords]

hi sorry, love your work, I just: that one tag that's like 'Wyatt hasn't read The Rules..'' what are the rules??

Hahaha what a great question! The Rules is a dating guide from the '90s that's notorious for the way it recommended that women seem unavailable to men so that the men would pursue them. It's...pretty problematic on a lot of levels, and while its approach probably works on some men, it's not the kind of thing that's designed to result in an equal relationship based on mutual trust and openness. In fact, by design: it suggests that you keep seeming unavailable even after you're together, so that the man doesn't lose interest. (I have not actually read it myself, but the podcast If Books Could Kill has an excellent episode on it if you're interested in hearing it mocked critiqued.)

Anyway, Wyatt has probably never heard of this book and he's not actually attempting to attract Roope by playing hard to get. Buuuut it turns out that avoiding someone because you don't want to get your heart broken by them is a pretty effective way to get their attention, at least if that person is Roope Hintz.

[theredquilt]

I don’t know what this dynamic is but I’m enjoying it [X] [X]

[mimiminimal]

Afro Basaldella - Le regole / The Rules, 1969. Paper glued on canvas, 38.5 x 48.5 cm.  

[kirnet]

More often than not, Adam was not sure how Dorotea ended up at his side.

It was just natural, the way he would gravitate towards her. Of course it was, his duty was her protection. He would find her in the kitchen, or the lab, and before he knew it they would be outside, Dorotea pointing out the local flora as he padded behind, unsure when they had even left the building.

This was one such night. So many cicadas hummed that the very air felt like it was vibrating. Usually, Dorotea had informed him, summers in Wayhaven were muggy and oppressive, but tonight was different. Crisp. A full moon illuminated their path as they picked their way through the woods, Dorotea careful not to snag her loose-hanging flannel on any branches.

Her topic of the hour was moths, it seemed, though Adam had to admit he was not paying any attention to the content of her words. Had she asked him out for a walk, or had he simply followed? 

Frankly, he was just glad that she had even made it outside. Even without heightened senses, it was impossible to miss the growing bags under her lidded eyes, the way her bony shoulders hunched as she walked. What he could hear was her breathing in the twilight hours, shuddering and awake, night after night. 

“That boring, huh?” He blinked and suddenly they were in a clearing, Dorotea’s brows raised as she glanced back at him. “You know, you can tell me when-”

“You are not sleeping.”

“No.” The reply came a few seconds late, the swaying underbrush filling the silence. And then she chuckled, a bitter sound that had no right to be coming from her. “How can I, Adam? Every second is another-” She pinched the bridge of her nose and exhaled hard. “I can’t stand feeling useless. And don’t tell me I’m not,” she added as he opened his mouth.

Her eyes almost seemed to drink in the moonlight, shimmering with emotion. How many had been taken now, he knew she was thinking, all because these bastards want me?

His hands were on her arms now, acting on their own accord, her flannel slipping off her shoulders. He frowned, his face taut. “Useless?”

Dorotea sighed. “Adam-”

“I envy you.”

He could feel her heart jump in surprise. “Excuse me?”

“I can feel your fear, you know. Every time we face danger.” Her adrenaline perfuming the air, her breath caught in her throat. “You have no abilities, only yourself and your determination. And yet you continue.”

His fingers trailed down her arms. Even through the fabric, he could feel the heat of her skin.

“You never falter, no matter the challenge. You never give into the fear. ‘Useless’ has no place in your mouth. Do you know how strong you are? How much I admire it?”

How much he wished he could be certain he was the same?

Dorotea swallowed hard. Adam could not pull his eyes away from her parted lips. Her flush was contagious, sending a feverish chill down his spine. God, the forest was full of her, made of her. He could almost taste her as his fingers circled her wrists. With the softness of a moth’s wing he pulled one hand up to his mouth.

“Do you know how much I crave you?”

Her pulse danced under his feather light kiss. Dorotea gasped, her other hand slipping from his grasp, but she made no effort to move away from his lips.

Oh, he could feel everything. The shockwaves down her arms, putting her hair on edge. The thumping of her heart drowned out the cicadas, so much so that Adam could not remember where he was standing. All that existed was him, her, and the blood in her veins.

“How much I wonder what you taste like?”

His fangs grew, poking against his bottom lip. So close to her skin. So close to euphoria.

None of his vampiric charms would ever work on her. No, he had no say over the blush that dusted her cheeks or the heat that wound through her very being. Her excitement filled his mouth.

She wanted him. Only him.

“Adam.”

He glanced up through his eyelashes. Dorotea’s hand had settled on her collar bone left exposed by her low undershirt. It trailed higher, delicately, her fingers whispering over the scar on her neck. The full moon shone in her blown pupils.

Adam traced his fang with his tongue.

Her hand stilled, fully touching her scar now: two jagged lines down the length of her neck.

“I…” Adam jolted back, dropping her wrist as if it had burned him. Dorotea’s expression pinched, hurt flashing across her features. Disgust coiled in his stomach, physically pushing him back. “I am not him.”

“What are you- Adam?” But he was already storming away, the insect drone piercing his ears. Too close. A moment of weakness. Failure. 

Bile filled his mouth. Temptation could never win again. Dorotea’s protection was his sole concern, even if it was from himself.

And he would never scar her like that monster had.

[mintytremolite]

Farm-boy Jax????

Corn farm checked out from the list, @putting-jax-in-places (partly inspired by; mostly by gooseworx)

Bonus

Relatable nightmare fuel + continuing "the rules"

[iicarused]

i. will not write nsfw requests if you are anonymous // if you do not have an age indicator on your profile.

ii. minors do not interact // ageless do not interact

iii. specify gender, otherwise everything else is written in gender neutral unless stated she/her

iv. gore, yandere, etc, is okay with me

v. max. 3-5 people in req’s. the more people added, the less detail i will give

vi. i may not get to your request right away. i only write what i have motivation to do or what really sparks my interest! // smut/nsfw takes longer LOL

vii. if you comment on my posts saying “omg part 2 or 3!!” i will not make it unless it is actually requested in my ask box or if i actually want to write it on my own time!! otherwise, there may not actually be another part

vii. i love to banter!! if you have a brain rot/thirst, feel free to send! that’s actually a better way to get a “request” out without requesting because i just get to reply and be silly with you!:)

dni if

╰┈➤ you’re homophobic, racist, ableist, etc

╰┈➤ you’re a minor, go away!!! also applies if you’re 17, you’re still a minor.

╰┈➤ don’t like my writings, don’t follow

╰┈➤ you request something out of boundary

╰┈➤ if you don’t place a tw for your ask just in case it’s needed

[smileyland-guardian]

Are-you friend with Ms The Rule ? (Mme La Règle) 🤔

Ah... Mizz Game Rulez... I don't mind her (zometimez), but zhe iz quite annoying. I underztand that zhe iz zuppozed to enforze the rulez of our gamez, but theze are MY gamez, not herz.

[tumblbock]

Hello!

I am Tumblbock, your friendly festive firebound sacrifice

The fate of other goats is beyond the control of most Tumblr users, but mine is not

No. My fate will be decided by a series of 1 day polls taking place between Sunday 3rd December and Sunday 31 December (on Sundays and Wednesdays) giving you 9 chances to make me burn

3 numbers will be selected via a random number generator for each poll, with one being randomly assigned as the 'winning' number. This will be written down and kept in the possession of the independent adjudicator to ensure fairness in my fate

If the 'winning' number gets the most votes then to the flames I go!!

If not then I survive until the next poll

If I burn early in the event then every attempt will be made to source another sacrifice in order for the fun to continue

Clear?