#The song is in my head on a loop tonight! | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

thebearer · 10 months

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the feeling |carmen berzatto x reader|

prompt: a little tipsy, definitely hungry, and missing carmen, you find your way to the restaurant after closing to see him.

my first work/ blurb here <3 I hope you enjoy it as much as I did writing it!!

contains: 18+minors dni. mentions of a gun and alcohol but not in a bad way lol? established relationship. slight mentions of a dom/sub dynamic. language. but really just fluff fluff fluff <3

"Yo! We're fucking closed!" Richie's voice boomed, throwing down the rag on the table. He huffed, teeth gritting, trying to remember to count yet he was still reaching for the gun in holster. Sure, he could be calm, but he still needed to be safe.

The pounding on the glass continued, a muffled, giggly scream from the other side of the blinds hiding the entrance. "Richie! Let us innnn!"

"Cousin," Carmen yelled from the back, running a bandaged hand through his curls. "What's goin' on?"

Richard rolled his eyes, peeking through the blinds to confirm his suspicions. Just as he thought, there you were, standing on the sidewalk in fucking Chicago with your heels in your hand, leaning onto your friend for support. Carmy was gonna be pissed, that was for certain.

"It's your girl." Richie scoffed, twisting the lock so it unfastened with a loud click, the bell trilling when he pulled it open.

"Richie!" You cheered, staggering on your feet. "Told you they'd still be here." You told Alicia, looping an arm around hers.

"My girl?" Carmen repeated, pushing the swinging doors of the kitchen, heavy chef's clogs on the freshly mopped ground.

"The hell you doin'?" Richie looked at you, face deadpanned and unimpressed. His arm held the door open for you and your friend anyways, jerking his head so the two of you huddled in.

"We did karaoke tonight." You grinned at Richie, clutching the nearest booth when you passed to steady yourself.

Karaoke night was a once a month occurrence, down at Trader Todd's. Carmen had went twice with you and Alicia before, it was a little too touristy for him, but he liked watching you sing. He'd laughed so hard his sides hurt when you serenaded a Nickelback song to him because "it seemed like something he'd like". It was good, nice to laugh like that. It was nice to be with you.

Carmen furrowed his brow, hands thrown out towards you lightly. "What are ya doin'?" He asked, rag slung over his shoulder.

You rolled your lip, eyes trailing down his tattooed, veiny arms. "Just left karaoke." You hummed, striding playfully over to him. "Got hungry and I just so happen to know a place with the best fries in the world."

Carmen snorted when you looped your arms around his neck, swaying with him gently. Richie huffed, eyeing Alicia at the booth. "We're closed. Didn't you see the sign?"

"Can't make an exception for us?" You pouted, looking over your shoulder at Richie. "C'mon, we came all this way for nothing? Not a single fry?"

"You walked here?" Carmen's eyes flashed at you.

"You need a cuppa coffee is what you need." Richie rolled his eyes, ignoring his cousin's comment.

"Ooh, I'd take a cup of coffee." Alicia nodded, head propped on her hand at the freshly cleaned booth, still a little wet and sticky. "And a slice of cake."

"Mmm," You nodded in agreement, grinning at her.

"Hey," Carmen's hand cradled your jaw gently, tugging your gaze back to him. "Did you walk here?"

"No." You rolled your eyes playfully at him, curling into his calloused hands anyways. "We Ubered."

"Good." Carmen hummed, his hand pressing to the small of your back, pushing you closer into his touch. "I'd have your ass if you did, you hear me?" He muttered, low and gravelly in your ear, hand trailing down to the swell of your ass, squeezing the fatty flesh through your dress. A warning or simply just him being playful, you weren't sure, but you flushed nonetheless, knees buckling.

"Kitchen's closed." Carmen announced, looking at you and Alicia, both your boos and cries of protest a chorus bouncing off the empty walls. "But I'll make you a fresh pot of coffee and see if we have any left over cake, but you," His finger poked your side, leaving you squealing and squirming in his grasp. "Have to clean up."

"Yes, Chef." You saluted him playfully.

Carmen rolled his eyes, but pressed a sweet kiss to your lips. Brief and light, not nearly the same kiss he gave you this morning before he left for work. When you were still rolled up in the warm covers, eyes fluttering with sleep, the light of the morning on your skin.

Carmen patted your ass lightly, before turning back to go to the kitchen. You grinned triumphantly, snagging two forks and napkins before sliding into the booth across from Alicia. Richie's face fell, dropping the rag on the table he was cleaning.

"Oh, no fuckin' way. Cousin!" Richie yelled, stomping towards the kitchen. "Carmen, we're closed!"

"I got is, cousin. You can go." Carmen nodded towards the door, scooping the ground beans into the pot. "Gotta take them home anyways. I'll finish up."

Richie's face fell slightly, eyes bouncing from Carmen back to you and your friend, giggling over your phones, slumped into the booths.

Carmen looked at him, brow raised at his displeasure. "What?"

Richie huffed. "I just finished cleanin' the tables, and-and I'm tryin' real hard here to help you out and be better, but cousin, you gotta-"

"-They'll clean it up." Carmen said firmly, pressing the button firmly. "Or my girl will. I'll make sure of it, alright? I got it."

"Carmy-"

"-Look, Richie, I appreciate you helping me. I do. You've done real good too." Carmen said genuinely. "But I got it covered. Why don't you go sit with them? Tell Alicia the Bill Murray story, she'll like it." He nodded towards your friend.

Richie's ears perked, turning to look at the girl across from you. His love life was still shit, that was for sure, bad date after bad date. "You think?" Richie asked in a low tone.

Carmen shrugged casually. "Sure, yeah. Watch. Hey, baby," Carmen called to you. "You ever told Alicia about when Richie met Bill Murray?"

"Oh my God, no." You giggled, head tipping back onto the booth.

"Wait," Alicia looked over at Richie with a small grin. "Bill Murray? Ghostbusters, Bill Murray?"

"Yes, holy shit, Richie you hafta tell her." You giggled, tapping the table lightly. "He got him to do his voicemail and-"

"- Hold on, you gotta start from the beginning or it'll make no sense." Richie held his hands up, sauntering over to the two of you. "Alright, so I'm absolutely hammered. It's six-forty-five in the fucking morning, me and Mikey are leavin' the bar just drunk outta our minds..." Richie pulled a chair up to the table, exaggeratedly launching into his story.

Carmen smirked to himself, cutting two slices of cake and plating them off the still warm, clean dishes. He could hear Richie's voice trilling louder and louder, your laugh a delicate melody that soothed his chest, filled it with warmth.

Carmen slid beside you, just in time for the voice mail, setting your coffee and plate next to you. You muttered a small thank you, pressing a kiss to his cheek before you moved into his side.

"No shit, it's still your voicemail?" Alicia gasped, eyes shining at Richie's

"Swear to God." Richie held his hands up. "Call it right now, you'll hear it."

Alicia looked over at you. You nodded, picking up your fork. "It's true."

"Well, now I gotta hear it for myself." Alicia declared, snatching her phone off the table. "What's your number?"

Richie flushed for a second, faltering before he sputtered out the number. You looked up at Carmen, brows raised in amusement. He shrugged lightly, pushing the coffee closer to you. "Drink it f'me, please."

You cradled the still steaming mug, lifting it to your lip while Alicia's jaw dropped, hearing Bill Murray's voice on the other end. "Oh my God!" She gasped, laughing. "That is so fucking amazing!"

"Thank you!" Richie threw a hand out to her. "It is fucking amazing. My proudest accomplishment- well, beside my daughter, of course, but a close second."

"How old is your daughter?" Alicia scooted closer, lashes batting towards Richie as he pulled out his phone to flick through photos.

You smirked, looking up at Carmen. "Thanks for the cake," You hummed, resting your head on his arm. "And the coffee."

"Anything for you, c'mon." Carmen shrugged, trying to hide the blush he felt rising in his cheeks. He hadn't done this before, really, had a relationship like this. One that felt this good. One where he felt this safe with someone.

"I'll clean it up, promise." You yawned, lashes fluttering, while your head fell heavier and heavier pressed on his bicep. "Hand wash 'em if you want me too."

"I know you will." Carmen muttered, shimmying his arm out so he could wrap it around you, letting you fall into his chest.

He didn't let you clean up, though. You stayed half awake, a little woozy and sleepy in the booth, listening to Alicia and Richie's playful flirting. You'd tried to get up, but he snatched the plate gently from you before you could, nodding at you to stay put.

You held his hand the whole way back to the apartment, resting in the center console, his thumb brushing over your knuckles. Richie had offered to take Alicia home, which she eagerly agreed to, leaving the two of you to return to your own place.

Carmen shimmying your dress off you gently, tucking you under the covers with him. The apartment didn't have the same haunting presence here that his old one did. Not tainted with nightmares or fears. No, here he felt good. Happy memories he'd created with you, loving ones that filled his chest with contentment. He still had his moments, waking in a cold sweat screaming and clinging to you, but they were becoming scarcer with each day. He took care of you, and you took care of him- it was everything he'd ever fucking wanted.

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ferricadooza · 2 years

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#'arry's touring or he'd be here #is playing on my head in a loop #that and the corn song are going to be in my dreams tonight

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xxbimbobunnyxx · 8 months

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Beer and Bunny’s

(Eddie Munson x Fem!Reader)

Summary: Eddie can’t seem to get himself to make a move on the new bartender at the hideout he has a crush on, but one night you decide to take matters into your own hands and he sees something that he just can’t resist. Wk:4.5K

Warnings: 18+MINDI Smut (unprotected P in V), Oral (M & F), Eddie being a lil pervy but reader is into it, kind of inexperienced!Eddie (he’s really nervous and has a lot of self doubt. My head canon for this Eddie is that he’s been with a few girls but none of them were interested in more than a one night stand), no use of Y/N so pet names, and I think that’s it? The smut is kinda soft n sweet, nothing too crazy. Lmk if I missed any!!

A/N: So I was running errands wearing my black mini skirt and my pink bunny panties the other day and this idea came to me. It’s super self indulgent tbh, but in my mind Eddie would lose his shit over something like this and I’ll die on that hill. 🫡 Also I usually read through my shit obsessively but I only read through this once so if you see mistakes, no you didn’t. (Not really tho pls tell me so I can fix them bc typos make me crazy) My Masterlist

Eddie was in a trance, playing his guitar on autopilot as he watched you bus tables, make drinks, and occasionally indulge a customer’s flirting for extra tips. Not that you needed to, that dress and your sweet smile was enough to have any man dumping his wallet out and emptying his bank account for you. Or maybe that was just him.

He knew it wasn’t though, because even though his band was up there putting their hearts into playing for 15 people tops, most of their eyes followed you. Granted it was mostly drunk middle aged men besides Ruth, a 60 something year old woman who was always sitting in the same stool at the bar, drinking the same cheap vodka, with her red lipstick smudged on her teeth. But still, he’s convinced even if the room was filled with a hundred women you’d still be the prettiest one there.

You started working at the hideout a few months ago when you moved to town and ever since then it was like Eddie was possessed by you. He thought about you constantly, the way those cut up band tees always fit so perfectly and how your ass always looked in those tight little skirts has him fisting his cock sometimes twice a night. He wanted to record the way your voice sounded saying his name when you’d bring him his favorite beer after a show without him even asking and play it on a loop over and over again.

But that wasn’t all, he thought about little things like holding your hand, or going to the drive-in and watching horror movies with you. Or just kissing you, god, he wanted to kiss your pretty glossed lips.

The only issue was every time you talked to him it was like his brain turned to mush and everything he had practiced to say disappeared from his mind.

Tonight was different though. After their last song when you came to bring him his beer, you gave him that sweet smile and told him how awesome they did like you always do. But then it happened. You accidentally walked backwards into one of the small amps, tipping it backwards.

“Oh my god! I'm so sorry, shit!” You apologized before turning around to pick it up and when you did Eddie felt like he was about to cum in his pants.

You were wearing this tight little faux leather mini dress with a zipper that went all the way down the middle and these sexy calf high combat boots. But when you bent over he saw you were wearing the cutest pink panties that had little bunnies printed all over them and something about that combination made him absolutely feral.

He heard a whistle behind him and when he snapped his head around to see where it came from he saw one of the guys sitting at the table closest to the stage practically licking his lips while he ogled you. He instantly felt possessive and moved closer so he was standing a few inches behind you, blocking you from everyone else.

You pulled the amp up with a huff before turning around and nearly jumping out of your skin when you realized how close he was.

“Holy shit! You scared me!” You brought your hand to your chest and laughed. “I didn’t know you were so close.”

“Y-yeah I’m sorry, when you bent over, you could uh- see your panties and um… people were looking.” He turned beet red and scratched the back of his neck awkwardly.

“Oh, you’re so sweet Eddie, protecting my modesty.” You placed a hand on his forearm and caressed it with your thumb a few times before you stepped close enough to him to whisper in his ear. “Were you looking too?” You pulled away just enough to look up into his eyes through your lashes.

“I- I mean- fuck.” He sighed and looked down at his feet. “I’m sorry… I know I shouldn’t have you were just standing right in front of me and then that guy whistled and-“

“Eddie!!” You squeezed his arm gently to get him to look at you and when he did you just wanted to kiss him. Those big brown eyes all filled with a mixture of lust and guilt were driving you crazy. “It’s okay… I want you to look.”

He’s pretty sure his brain just short circuited, you want him to look? What does that mean?

“I- you want me to- really?”

“Yeah.” You nodded. “You think I dress like this every time I work? Nope. Only on Tuesdays… just for you, Eds.”

“Shit. Really?” He looked at you in disbelief, he couldn’t believe the girl he’s been dreaming about is really standing here in a sexy little dress telling him that she wore it for him.

“Yeah.” You nodded and bit your lip. “I like how you look at me, it makes me… So. Wet.”

He threw his head back and groaned, he never thought you’d be so forward like this.

But he didn’t know that you had been waiting for him to make a move on you for weeks. You were tired of dancing around your obvious attraction to one another so you decided tonight you were going to take matters into your own hands.

“Shit sweetheart. You can’t just say things like that to me in public. You’re seriously going to make me bust in my pants. ”

“Well… don’t do that.” You giggled. “I know somewhere better that you can cum though…” You ran your hand down his arm and linked your hands together causing him to shiver. God, he was so responsive, you knew he liked you but apparently you didn’t know just how much.

“Fuck. Are you serious?”

“Deadly. You have a van, right? What’s the back like? Maybe you can show me.” You winked at him.

“Shit, yeah, I’d love to. But I have to put all this shit in the back and take it back to Gareth’s garage.” He looked so disappointed you just wanted to kiss his pouty pink lips.

“Hmmm… well, I live down the street. What if you drop off your stuff and meet me at my place after?” You suggested.

“GARETH! Take my van to your house, I’ll come get it later.” He turned to his drummer and threw him his keys.

“Dude. Seriously? You’re just going to leave us to pack up all this shit?”

His other band mate, who you think is named Jeff, looked between you and Eddie and put two and two together pretty quickly.

“We’ve got it man, have fun!” He wiggled his eyebrows at him before going back to packing up their equipment.

“Well, it looks like I’m all yours.” Eddie smiled at you nervously. God, he was just too cute.

“Looks like it, cutie. I’m off now, just gotta clock out. I usually walk so if you just wanna wait outside I’ll be right there.” You got on your tiptoes to kiss his cheek before jumping off the stage and walking toward the back of the bar, making sure to swing your hips extra for him.

•

The walk back to your apartment was filled with easy conversation and stolen glances, hands grazing but not quite grasping onto each other. The air heavy with the tension of what was to come.

“This is me!” You gesture towards the front door of your apartment before unlocking it and letting him inside.

Eddie looked around as you turned on some lights, he saw some cool posters on the walls and a large bookshelf in the corner. But before he could take in too much of your world you walked over to him and put your arms around his neck.

“Hi.” You smiled at him with a glint in your eye.

“Hey.” He returned your smile with a crooked smirk, bringing his hands to rest on your hips.

You brought one of your hands to his jaw, cupping it and running your thumb along his cheek. “I really really want to kiss you right now.”

He didn’t respond, instead he pulled you closer by the hips and smashed his lips against yours. His lips felt just as you imagined, pillowy soft and just the tiniest bit chapped. He tasted like the beer you gave him, the cigarette he smoked on the walk, and something that was just him. You moaned into the kiss, shoving your hands into his hair, tugging slightly. He groaned when you licked along his bottom lip, allowing you access. He kissed you until your knees were weak and you were both breathless.

“You are so beautiful. Fuck. I can’t believe I’m here right now. This feels like a dream.” He ran his hands up your sides over your dress. “Also this fucking dress… Jesus Christ.”

“Yeah? You like it? It’s new.” You took a step back so you could do a twirl for him. “I thought about you when I bought it, you know…” you brought your finger to the o-ring at the top of the zipper and tugged on it a little.

“I thought about you dragging me to the dingy bar bathroom, shoving me up against the wall and ripping it off me.”

“Holy. Fuck. You’re naughty, huh?” He chuckled.

“Maybe, wanna find out?” You grab his hand and start walking backwards toward your bedroom, dragging him with you.

You plop down on your bed to take your boots off but before you can reach for the laces Eddie walks forward and takes your foot in his hand, unlacing your shoes for you. Once they’re loose enough he pulls them both off your feet and he’s pretty sure you aren’t real at this point.

Your socks are the same pink as your panties with cute little bunny ears at the top of the ankles. Your socks match your panties.

“Yeah, you like these too?” You wiggled your toes in front of his face and giggled while he looked at you and froze, his face turning bright red.

“Shit. Did I say that out loud?”

“Yes, you did. Wanna know if my bra matches too?” You sit back on your hands and stick your chest out.

“Hell yeah I do.” He nodded dumbly.

“Why don’t you take my dress off and find out then, pretty boy.”

He didn’t hesitate to lean down and slip his finger into the o-ring zipper of your dress, slowly beginning to slide it down. When the tops of your breasts were exposed it became more and more clear that your bra didn’t match your panties because you weren’t fucking wearing one. He pulled the zipper down until it was just under the bottom of your tits and just as he thought, no bra. Your chest was on full display, slightly glistening with sweat from the material of your dress and he wanted to lick it off.

“Fuck, look at you… prettiest tits I’ve ever seen.” Not that he’d seen many but he’s pretty sure these are the best tits in the world regardless.

“You can touch them Eddie, I want you to.” You brought your hands up to squeeze them a few times before grabbing onto your nipples and twisting.

“Hold on, I’m appreciating the art before I destroy it.” He grabbed back onto your zipper and pulled it the rest of the way down so your dress was hanging open. You let the straps fall down your arms, leaving you in just those little panties and socks and he had never seen anything sexier. Your hair was a bit disheveled but still in the style you had done it in before you left for work earlier that night and your slightly smudged dark eye make-up contrasted with the soft pink of your garments. You stand up in front of him and play with the hem of his t-shirt.

“Take this off? I wanna see you too.”

He reaches behind his back to pull his shirt over his head and god damn. He has a few tattoos littered across his pale chest, his skin mostly smooth aside from his happy trail that you wanted to nuzzle your nose into on your way down to his cock.

“Wow. You are so sexy Eds.” You run your nails down his chest and torso, hooking your fingers in his belt loops and pulling his chest against yours. The feeling of your bare nipples pressed up against his warm skin sent shivers down your spine.

“Yeah? You think so? I think you’re the sexiest girl in the world.” He blushed.

“Thank you baby, can I take these off?” You pull on his belt loops with your fingers, running your thumbs along his soft waist.

“Please”

That’s all you needed to hear before you were on your knees in front of him, undoing his pants and pulling them down with his boxers.

“Holy shit Eddie…” Your eyes widen and your mouth waters at the sight of him fully bare in front of you. “You have the prettiest cock I’ve ever seen. I can’t wait to taste it.” And you meant it, his cock was fucking huge, the hard tip leaking just for you.

He was speechless, looking down at you on your knees in front of him with wide eyes.

You lean forward and run your tongue along his slit, holding eye contact with him while you take his tip in your mouth, suckling on it a few times before taking him deep in your throat.

“Oh fuuuuckkk holy shit.” He brought his hand to the back of your head and rested it there gently, letting you set your own pace.

But it was too gentle. You didn’t want him to hold back.

“Eddie.” You pulled your mouth off him with a pop and a string of saliva. “Use me, pull my hair, fuck my mouth, don’t be shy.”

“Holy shit. Are you- are you sure?” He was panting, looking down at you like you just told him he won the lottery.

“I’m so fucking sure, so so sure. If I don’t like something I’ll tell you baby. I promise, I like it rough.”

You spit in your hand, grabbing onto his cock and tugging it a few times before looking up at him with your tongue out.

He was still looking down at you with those big shiny doe eyes and you were about to lose it if he didn’t do something. Your other hand grabs onto his, guiding it to your hair and signaling for him to grab onto it. It took his mind a second to catch up but when he did it was like something snapped in him.

He grabbed onto your hair hard and slid his cock along the length of your tongue, hitting the back of your throat.

“Close your mouth- yeah, like that.” Once your lips were wrapped around him he started to slowly rock back and forth in your mouth, testing you by going deeper with each thrust.

After a few times of him hitting the back of your throat and causing you to gag he realized you liked it. Your eyes were watery, mascara starting to run down your cheeks, drool was dripping down your chin and you were fucking moaning around him like you were getting as much pleasure out of this as he was.

He was fully fucking your mouth now, pumping his cock down your throat while he cursed and moaned, using you just like you wanted. You reach your hand up to grab onto his drool slick balls and take them in your palm causing him to jerk forward and let out the sexiest moan yet.

“FUCKING SHIT!” He used your hair to pull you off of him and you look up at him with hooded eyes, a mixture of his precum and your drool dripping down your chin and he has to physically will himself not to cum at the sight. “ If you keep that up I’m going to cum in the next thirty seconds and I was really hoping I’d get to fuck you.”

“What? You don’t wanna cum twice? We have all night, unless you’re busy then I guess you can stop.” You said dramatically, in a way that he would’ve stopped to find really cute if he wasn’t so fucking turned on right now.

He practically growled as he grabbed back onto your hair and resumed his assault on your throat. One of your hands finds its way back to his balls while the other snakes around him to grab a handful of his ass for leverage.

“F-fuck this mouth is so fuckin- You’re such a good girl fuckin droolin all over, grabbin my balls while I use your little mouth. Wearing those little fuckin panties and socks. Fuck!” His grip on your hair tightened and his hips sputtered as you felt him explode in your mouth. You swallowed around him, moaning at his taste and taking all that he gave you.

He released his hold on your hair and you pulled your mouth off of him, bringing your pointer finger to the corner of your mouth to swipe the cum that dripped there into your mouth.

“Mmmm, you taste so good Eddie.” You smiled up at him, still on your knees.

“Yeah? I bet you taste even better.”

“Wanna find out?” You smirked at him, getting to your feet and laying back on the bed.

“Fuuuuuck” Eddie groaned at the sight of you laying there for him with your legs spread, a very prominent wet patch in those fucking panties, your hands grabbing on to your tits while your fingers pinch your nipples. You looked like the only meal he wanted to eat for the rest of his life. He got on the bed on his knees between your legs, smashing his lips to yours and kissing you like his life depended on it. He slid his tongue along your bottom lip and you immediately granted him access. He tasted himself on your tongue and it caused him to moan into the kiss.

He kissed down your jaw to your neck, running his tongue along the column of your throat, stopping just behind your ear at your pulse point to suck a mark there. He kissed and licked and sucked all the way down your body, stopping to pay your nipples extra attention.

When he reached the band of your panties he licked across your waist and nipped at your hips causing you to let out breathy little moans. He placed a kiss on each of your hip bones before placing one right on the top of your mound, looking up at you with those fucking eyes.

“Mmm baby, I can smell you.” He groaned as he breathed in your scent, flicking his tongue out to run it along your cloth covered slit, adding extra pressure to your clit. He wraps his lips around your bud, swirling his tongue, and even with the small barrier between you it still makes you see stars. He licks all around your cunt, soaking your already wet underwear as he laps at it. Finally he brings his finger to your panties to move them to the side and you barely even have time to process before he’s shoving his tongue as deep as it can go inside of you. Your back arches off the bed as you cry out.

“Oh f-fuck! Yes Eddie fuck!” Your hands come down and tangle into his hair, tugging it and causing him to groan into your pussy, the vibrations going through you like a shockwave.

His tongue came back up your bud, rotating between rough and soft flicks. His pointer and ring finger circle your hole before he inserts them both fully without resistance. He pumps them in and out of you, the room filled with the sounds of your moans and wetness as he laps at you. He sucks harder on your clit just as he curls his fingers just right and you see stars. Your grip on his hair tightened as your hips rocked against his face, his name on your lips like a prayer, riding out your high until it becomes too much and you’re pushing his head off of you.

He looks up at you with your jucies still running down his chin and fucking smiles.

“Sweetest pussy I’ve ever tasted.”

“Yeah? And have you tasted a lot of pussys, Mr. Munson?” You tease.

“I mean-“ Suddenly his face flushes red and that shy nervous boy from earlier was back “Not… that many, a few. I’m no lady killer or anything I mean you know this town is I-“

You grab his face in both of your hands and place a soft kiss on his lips.

“Honey, I was just teasing, I don’t care how many girls you’ve been with, I wouldn't even care if you hadn’t been with any.”

You smiled at him sweetly, pushing his bangs off his forehead and he smiled back, kissing you deeply. There was something so comforting about you to him, he felt like he could truly be himself with you and he’s not sure he’s felt that when he was with a woman ever.

You sit up and push him down by his shoulders, swinging your leg over to straddle him. Your underwear were still pushed to the side, your slick pussy lips were nestled on either side of his shaft as you slid back and forth on him with ease.

“I can’t wait to feel this pretty cock splitting me open.” You leaned forward and slid your fingers in the band of your underwear to take them off but Eddie’s hands came down on yours, stopping you.

“Can you keep them on?” His eyes were pleading, his lips pouty.

“Anything for you, sweet boy. You really like these huh?” You giggled.

“The whole cute pink panties and socks underneath the black leather thing is really doing it for me, if you couldn’t tell.” He bit his lip, running his hands down your sides before bringing them to your tits to squeeze them roughly.

You giggled as you rose up to your knees, taking him in your hand so you could line him up with your entrance and sink down on him slowly. Once your hips were flush against his you both moaned loudly.

“Fuck, so big, filling me up so good Eds.” You rocked back and forth slightly, just adjusting to the feeling of him so deep inside you. Once you felt adjusted you rose almost all the way off his cock before slamming back down on it causing him to jerk forward and moan out your name.

“Holy fuckin shit, your pussy is suckin me in so good holy fu-fuck, ridin me s-so good baby.” And you were, you were riding him like your life depended on it. “Bouncin on my cock just like those little bunnies on your panties, is that what you are? A lil bunny?”

That snapped something inside you, it was like he said the magic words and nothing else mattered in that moment besides riding his cock, being his little bunny.

You were on your heels now, using his shoulders for leverage as you bounced on his cock. Rotating and rolling your hips, the patch of curly brown hair at his base rubbing against your clit just right.

Eddie was in Heaven, he wanted to throw his head back and shut his eyes but he couldn’t tear them off of you. You were bouncing on his cock like a rabbit in heat. A layer of sweat glistened on your body, your hair a mess, there was a bit of drool dripping down your chin and your pussy was swallowing him hole over and over again, you were so wet he could see a milky white ring of your cum on his cock. He was going to cum soon but he absolutely needed you to before he did.

His grip on your hips tightened causing your movements to halt, but before you could even protest he was fucking up into you hard and fast.

“Oh fuuuuck yes, just like that baby, right fuckin there don’t fuckin stop I’m so close.” That’s all Eddie needed to hear, he brought one of his thumbs down to your slick clit and started rubbing fast circles on it while he continued to fuck up into you at a brutal pace.

“Shit, me too bunny, I’m gonna cum. Where do you want it?”

“Inside! Inside please Eddie I want you to fill me up.”

“Oh godddd” He let out a guttural groan, throwing his head back while he pumped his cum deep inside of you. The feeling sent you over the edge, coming undone on his cock while he continued to sloppily fuck you both through your highs.

You sighed, and exhaustedly let your body slump over Eddie’s while you both tried to catch your breath.

“Holy. Shit. That was… wow” he chuckled, running his hands up and down your back.

“Yeah, it really was.” You giggled as you rolled off of him, laying on your side next to him and resting your chin on his chest to look up at him. He was so pretty, his hair disheveled, his skin flushed and decorated in your nail marks, his lips swollen with your kisses. He smiled at you sweetly, shifting around so he could hold you better, he finally got a glimpse of your room.

He didn’t even really look at it when you walked it, he obviously noticed that you had a black open canopy on your four post bed but what he didn’t notice was the cute stuffed animals that were sitting by your black silk pillows, or the cool ass horror movie posters on the walls that contrasted that completely. You noticed him looking around, his eyes filled with awe, like he was genuinely interested in your world and it warmed your heart.

“I like your room, you really have this whole creepy cute thing down to a science don’t you?” He smiled at you, cradling your jaw in his hand and you leaned into it.

“Mhm, I guess I do.” You returned his smile with your own sleepy one, yawning. “You wanna stay the night? You don’t have to if you don’t want to but-“

“I want to.” Eddie cut you off, it was his turn to reassure you. You had seemed so sure of yourself all night but when it came down to if he was going to leave or not he could tell it made you nervous, like maybe people didn’t usually want to stay with you after and that broke him a little. Who wouldn’t want to stay with you? You’re perfect. To him at least. “I want to stay, and I want to take you to breakfast in the morning. I also would really like to take you on a proper date, if that’s something you’d want to do.”

Your heart swelled, because you did want that, more than he knew.

“I’d love that actually.”

“Good.”

You both giggled and kissed each other sweetly, whispering jokes and sweet nothings into each others ears until sleep peacefully took over.

#eddie munson x reader #eddie munson smut #eddie munson stranger things #eddie munson x fem!reader #Eddie munson x reader smut #Eddie munson x fem!reader smut #Eddie munson one shot #eddie munson fanfiction

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comfortscripts · 5 months

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The Way I Love You ¬ Coriolanus Snow

Plot - All you want is one night with Corio, the real him. Pairing - Young!Coriolanus Snow x Best Friend!Female!Reader Notes/Warnings - Corio is ooc in this, but the idea is that he is slightly hinged for her and he is aware of his redflags. Possessive? Mentions of deaths. Reader is lowkey just blind to Corio's darkness. First fic back so let's see how it goes! Word Count - 1,443

9pm

“You promised!”

“And when exactly did I promise this?”

He watched as her fists clenched the corners of her skirt, breath dripping with exasperation. Calmly watching from the comfort of his leather chair, nursing a glass of amber whilst his eyes followed the milky fabric adorning his best-friend’s figure. Almost 30 minutes of her attempting to convince him to leave his opaque penthouse.

“Last year, when you were too busy on my birthday, you promised me that I could choose whatever I wanted to do for one da-” Stilling her movements, frozen as realisation washed over her. “You sneaky fucker! Not once have you forgotten a promise between us.”

Corio wanted to laugh as her face scrunched with faux anger, but all he did was cock his eyebrow as a gentle smirk settled on his lips. “Of course, I didn’t forget. However, this little song and dance has been quite amusing.”

Resting his drink to the side, he rose to full height and reached his delicate hand out towards the girl. “I will agree, purely on the premise that nothing we do could harm either of our reputations.”

A smile brighter than freshly fallen snow crept onto her face.

“You have my word.”

1am

Corio may have noticed the ache in his legs if he didn’t have such a captivating distraction hanging from his bicep. After aimlessly strolling through the Capitol, the myriad of hues illuminating their faces as they spoke of the most mundane aspects of their adult lives to giggling at memories of their youth. Having known one another since the tender age of 10, there is little left unsaid between the pair. Perhaps only one thing.

“I’ve missed you Corio”

Shifting his head to where her figure was pressed against his side, their tandem steps slowed. Only those who understood the inner works of Coriolanus Snow could see the cogs turning behind those azure eyes. Flickering across her face, attempting to decode her words.

“Don’t be silly. We see each other constantly; your office is barely 20 steps from mine.”

The young woman bit back a sigh. In all the years she had known Snow, he excelled in many things but struggled with matters of the heart. “No, I see Coriolanus Snow constantly. Future President of Panem, prodigy Gamemaker. I can barely remember the last time I had a conversation with the real you, Corio, before tonight.”

Stilling completely, allowing her arm to slip from the loop of his. It was a rare occurrence for the young man to be devoid of words, only having ever been rendered speechless by the very same woman only a touch away. In all truthfulness, he yearned for her presence. He longed for the sound of her laughter, the way her eyes sparkled with delight when indulging in dessert, her uncanny ability to understand his thoughts, and most importantly, the way she allowed him to be himself.

He missed her too.

Perhaps it was his silence, or perhaps it was the cool air that unsettled her. Bubbles of anxiety began to rise in her stomach, fearing that she had overstepped or somehow offended the blond. “I only mean that you have sides to you. Whilst I like all of them, the one I care about most is the real you. I’m sorry, but I miss my best friend.”

“I barely know the real me anymore.”

It was truth. Being betrayed by Lucy Gray, the blood on his hands, the character he has had to play since; it was exhausting. The darkness swirling inside of him corrupting his daily thoughts, paranoia and greed clouding his mind. It was all too much to expose to her.

She embodied life, a breath of fresh air in a world torn apart by capitalism and violence. Coriolanus could never understand why she cared for him, why she befriended him. But he could never jeopardise losing her. The darker side of him wishes to lock her up in the Penthouse, so her sun only shines for him. Keep away the prying eyes of men who wish to glimpse the sweetness of her smile. But alas, he cannot. An innocent fragment of his soul forbids his darkness from tainting her, even if he must create distance to do so.

“After all that has happened, the Corio you know barely exists anymore.” Those stormy eyes refusing to meet her gaze by fixating on the gleaming silver ring adoring his finger. “If only you knew, you wouldn’t look at me the same.”

The warmth of her hand sliding into his captures his focus. “If only I knew about what happened during the games? If only I knew about Lucy Gray, and those people you killed? If only I knew how dark your soul feels? I know Corio.”

Snapping to meet her gaze, he feels as if she had knocked the air out of his lungs. How could she possibly know? Why would she be standing here with him? Was she going to hold this over him? A flurry of thoughts stormed behind his eyes, as she only tightened her hold on his large hand.

“Did you really think you could lie to me? I know you better than I know myself. When you came back from District 12, I could see behind those lies you were spewing. I saw the hurt she caused, the trauma you had witnessed, and how it broke the light inside of you.”

For the second time tonight, Coriolanus was speechless. Perhaps she didn’t know whose blood coats his hands, or the exact details of what happened those years ago, but she knew enough. And she was still standing there in front of him.

“And you still care about me?”

“I will always care about you Corio. Now come on, I want to take you somewhere!”

And with that, she pulled him further into the night.

2:45am

Neither of them had uttered a word since their conversation.

Laid side by side on the refreshing emerald blades of grass as they look towards the stars above, only their subtle breathing filling the air. Despite the silence, the interlocked fingers expressed a thousand words.

A hitched breath broke the still atmosphere of the hilltop.

“Do you love me?”

Her words stopped his heart mid-beat.

“What? Of course, I love you. You are my best friend.” His words flow smoothly, as his thoughts run erratically to concoct the perfect lie.

The grass shuffles as she turns her head to face him. “No, do you love me like I love you?”

Corio continues staring straight towards the constellations, knowing that her alluring eyes could weaken his resolve in mere seconds.

“Because the way I love you is more than someone who loves a best friend. Almost as if you are the only person who makes my heart dizzy with joy. If you don’t love me the same way, it’s okay. Just needed to finally tell you.”

The breeze acts as a ticking clock, emphasising the lack of response from the young man and amplifying the anxiety building in the woman as she faces the stars once more.

Its almost too quiet to be heard, a whisper in the wind, but she hears it clearly. “I do love you the way you love me.”

Turning in unison to face one another, his free hand reaching to caress the toasty skin of her cheek. Gentle strokes of his chilled fingers, drawing without destination on her skin as the blond builds the courage to speak once more.

“The way I love you terrifies me. You are the only one who brings me happiness, the only one who knows my sorrows, the only one I would sacrifice for. I obsess over you. I want to hold you and protect you. I wish to possess you. All because I love you the way you love me.”

Searching his irises for any fragment of dishonesty, her smile grows as she finds none. Inching closer to the man who has held her heart for a decade, his minty breath invading her senses.

With lips mere millimetres apart, a light whisper leaves her mouth “I’ll be yours Corio, for as long as you are mine. We can possess one another.”

As if those were the only words he ever craved, he intertwined his lips with hers. Soaking in the feeling of ecstasy as his hold on her tightens. She embraced the overwhelming sensation of complete bliss, revelling in every single second as her fingers interlock with his porcelain-locks.

Her lips fit with his so perfectly, it was clear that they were made to possess each other. And now that Panem’s king had his Queen, nothing could break him.

#coriolanus snow #coriolanus snow x reader #coriolanus x reader #president snow x reader #the ballad of songbirds and snakes #coriolanus snow imagine #the hunger games #tbosas #tom blyth x reader

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makeyoumine69 · 3 months

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Call Me Babydoll 5

PAIRING: DBF!Patrick Bateman x Innocent!Fem!Reader

SUMMARY: Patrick stays in your mind even after the disastrous Dorsia incident. Like a song you can't get out of your head, he continues to hum his sultry and sensual words and ways into your ears and heart. When he arrives unexpectedly with a surprise guest, he cannot deny that he is attracted to you. But is this even real?

CONTAINS: Angst, smut, masturbation (f), obsessive behavior, cursing and use of pet names, smoking, gaslighting & manipulation, humiliation & hyperfixation, Daddy kink, making out, marking, biting.

WORDS: 3.5k

A/N: Sorry to make you wait so long, I hope to get in shape soon and post more often!🥰

LINKS: [Ch.4]; [SERIES MASTERLIST]; [MASTERLIST]

Your mind was a complete mess, your heart nothing but glass dust. The echoes of your private conversation with Patrick on the outdoor terrace of Dorsia still lingered in your mind even after you returned home, though you couldn't remember how you made it since you had declined Bateman's offer to take you to your house.

The first thing you noticed when you crossed the threshold of your home was a strong, sweet scent of flowers. It was a familiar perfume that you already hated.

"Y/n? I thought you were already asleep in your room," and there she was - your father's girlfriend named Sophia, meeting you in the hall, smiling mischievously as she caught you doing something criminal. "Where have you been?"

Sophia was a middle-aged woman with Greek roots, she was really a nice person, always so kind and friendly to you, and most importantly - she never tried to replace your mother, for which you were very grateful.

"I had dinner," you replied tiredly as you took off your coat. "Not a good one."

"Ouch…" She gave you a sympathetic pat on the shoulder before continuing. "Don't be sad, honey. You're an incredible person and I'm sure that one day you'll meet the right person." Sophia cheered this, smiling as if her words were a prediction of the future. "With whom you will feel that everything is in the right place."

Sighing, you tried to master something close to a smile. "Thank you, Soph." As much as you wanted to share your worries with her, you couldn't because she could tell your father everything. "I'm so exhausted I could fall asleep right here."

"Go rest," she mused, watching you go upstairs. "Tomorrow your father and I are going to visit my family."

"Good luck with that." You replied before disappearing from her vision.

It was obvious that you wouldn't be able to sleep tonight, thanks to the endless thoughts that looped in your head like a broken record.

Why did you ever think that a man like Bateman could really take you seriously? You felt deceived, embarrassed and madly frustrated, because at the end of the day, Patrick was just playing with you like a toy, twisting you perfectly around his finger.

Fidgeting in your bed, you accidentally recalled the memories of the day he was here - you could still feel the remnants of his hypnotizing cologne as your sheets smelled of him. A lonely tear slid down your cheek, outlining the beautiful shape of your face - now so dull and dejected.

If only you could rewind time and not allow him to get close to you, not even for an inch. Sobbing, you curled up like a kitten, pressed your knees to your chest and tried to drift off, but every time you closed your eyes - his gorgeous face popped up in your mind, making you believe that he really had blessed you with a curse. A curse to be obsessed with the man who would never be yours.

It had been a week since you had seen Bateman, and somehow you had even managed to live through your depression and hide it from your father, although it was quite difficult due to his numerous questions about your sad face and bad mood. At work, some of your co-workers were also trying to figure out what was wrong with you, so you finally decided to take a few days off to relax and get your life back on track.

In the morning of one of those days, you suddenly found yourself writhing on the sheets, breathing heavily and drenched in sweat. With an irritated groan, you threw the blanket aside, accidentally touching your painfully hard nipples.

Oh shit, not again.

Closing your eyes, you didn't even notice that you were dreaming about him for the third fucking time in a row. You let out a muffled gasp as your trembling hand snaked down your belly between your half-opened legs to the center of your desire.

It was just impossible to resist.

"Aww, Daddy," you moaned softly, imagining it was his hand caressing your taut folds. "Please...I need more..."

Embarrassed but absolutely horny, you spread your legs wider, letting your own digits slide along your dripping pussy, and kept picturing his beautiful face as he praised you for being such a good girl for him.

A loud gasp echoed through your room at the memory of his velvety, deep voice, playing in your head as if Bateman was really here, next to you, his hand wrapped tightly around your trembling throat as he wanted nothing more than to bring you to your climax, to see you collapse right before his dark hazel eyes.

"Mmhm, Patrick..." you frowned and shivered, your ministrations growing more impatient as you rubbed circling motions into your throbbing clit while feeling the impending orgasm building in your core. "Patrick, Patrick, please!"

To muffle your obscene moans, you had to bite the pillow next to you as you reached your climax, never stopping to massage your feverish nub.

'You are so naughty, Babydoll. Look at the mess you have made.'

The echo of his sexy voice resounded in your clouded mind, prolonging your intense orgasm and you couldn't help but cradle your breast, only to pinch your hard little tip as you craved more.

But unfortunately, after the haze of ecstasy wore off and you were finally able to think clearly, the bitter realization that it was all an illusion washed over you like a tidal wave, leaving you completely broken. It felt as if you had put all your energy into getting that high, and now you could barely move, feeling satisfied yet devastated.

Over the next few hours, you showered several times and refused to leave your room, no matter how much your father and Sophia tried to convince you. Shame and despair were eating you alive from the inside out, draining all your positive emotions like parasites.

Whenever you tried to distract yourself by reading, you were annoyed by your mind tricks because every character's name starting with the letter P automatically became 'Patrick'.

You hated that man for infesting your mind, body, and soul. Before meeting Bateman, you even thought you were frigid, but now...now you were ready to climb on the walls from the consuming desire to be...possessed? Owned? Marked?

A loud knock at the door interrupted your train of thought and you barely stopped yourself from squeaking - all these days, since you started having nasty dreams with Patirck, you felt like you were doing something bad and someone from your household could catch you. Quickly you approached the door to your room and after unlocking it, you let your vision - which turned out to be your father - in.

"I thought you were taking a nap," he chuckled, but then his face changed when he saw your tired eyes. "Are you sure you're not sick, (y/n)?"

"I'm not sick, Dad," you rolled your eyes and crossed your hands over your chest, ready to be lectured again. "Did something happen? I was in the middle of proofreading."

Your father hummed, tilting his head to the side. "You took a few days off to work at home?"

Scowling with annoyance, you leaned against the door and mumbled: "It helps me relax and clear my head."

"Well, I just wanted to let you know that Patrick is here," you felt the ground disappear under your feet as he spoke. "He came to sign some papers and I thought you might like to join us in the living room. Soph made your favorite apple pie."

This information made your temples ache with tension, and you had to massage them to ease the stabbing pain. "Father, I... I'm not really in the mood for guests."

Especially when this guest was Patrick Bateman.

Your father just sighed and stepped back, which meant he wasn't going to try to convince you. Most of all, you hated to upset your family, even though you didn't want to see Bateman, not after the things that had happened to you during these long, crazy days.

"Okay, okay," you knew you would regret it, but now you didn't see any other option. "I'll be back soon."

With that, you closed the door, feeling the panic rising in your chest. It seemed that your father still thought that you were still on good terms with Patrick, since you had not told him anything about that damn dinner. Trying to pull yourself together, you quickly went to the mirror to freshen up a bit - the fact that you were worried about what Bateman would think of your appearance still bothered you, but there was nothing you could do about it.

Almost fifteen minutes later, you finally came downstairs, wearing a short black top and your favorite tight jeans, and no, you weren't trying to impress him - a little spice wouldn't hurt.

As you approached the living room, you began to hear a cacophony of different voices: your dad's, Sophia's, and another unfamiliar female voice that made you stop in confusion around the corner. Who was that?

"(Y/n), don't be shy, come here." Your father's comment made you frown and bite your lip in embarrassment as you felt like you were transferred back to your childhood.

Taking a deep breath, you stepped into the living room and immediately became the center of everyone's attention. Your eyes quickly found the owner of the unknown voice - a pretty blonde girl sitting next to Patrick with a small notebook in her elegant hands.

Another blonde, huh?

Putting on a friendly fake smile, you managed to hide your frustration and walked closer to the couch to take a seat next to your father, completely ignoring Bateman's intense gaze.

"Uh, this is Jean, Patrick's assistant," your father introduced the blonde girl to you, and she smiled shyly when you raised your eyes to her. "Jean, this is (y/n), my lovely daughter."

"Nice to meet you, (y/n)," Jean murmured and turned to look at Patrick, as if looking for his approval. When he said nothing, she continued. "Patrick has told me a lot about you."

"Really?" You replied skeptically, your hands already crossed over your chest as you desperately tried to keep your composure. "How nice."

Somehow your father managed to notice the growing tension between the two of you, and his little cough caught everyone's attention. "Sorry, my throat gets dry from time to time."

"No need to apologize, Mr. (y/l/n)," Bateman suddenly joined the conversation, causing you to almost jump in your seat. "How about your lovely daughter making us some drinks?" His white-toothed smile was blinding, but you did your best not to react to this provocation.

"Yeah, sure. I'll make them." You stood up quickly, seeing this as a great opportunity to escape.

"Let me help you!" Jean suddenly suggested.

"No no no, you don't have to!"

"Hey, let her help you," Patrick put forward and tapped Jean's knee several times, which you couldn't miss. "It's better not to refuse people's help, because we live in such a cruel world. You know what I mean, (y/n?)"

His smug wink at you made your hands clench into fists, but you decided not to argue with him and just stumbled out of the living room, hearing Jean's soft footsteps behind you.

In the kitchen, the two of you didn't try to strike up a conversation, feeling uncomfortable but not hostile. With casual confidence, you took out two glasses and three cups under the attentive gaze of Patrick's assistant.

"Whiskey for the boys and coffee for the girls," you hummed to yourself, finally glancing at Jean, who was standing shyly in the doorway. "Maybe you want something else?"

"No," she gasped when you asked her. "Coffee is fine."

"Good."

As the blonde woman watched you make the coffee, she came closer and looked around the kitchen. "'Your house is very cozy."

"Thank you," you gave her a warm smile and picked up a silver tray for the cups. "My mother used to love an atmosphere like this," your sudden confession made you stop everything for a moment and Jean noticed your tension. "She would be very touched by your compliment."

The sad undertone in your words made the woman pause and think about what to say next, and you used the moment to get additional things for the coffee, including sugar, cream and vanilla.

"I would only ask you to help me with this," you nodded at the nearly full tray. "And I'll take glasses and a bottle."

"Okay," Jean picked up some napkins before taking a deep breath. "Patrick was right when he said you were a lovely girl."

Frowning, you almost spilled the last cup of coffee when you heard those words. "Uh, I don't understand why you were talking about me at all."

"Well, we talked about you when I made the reservation for your dinner in Dorsia."

An awkward silence hung in the air for some time before you managed to pull yourself together and place all the cups on the shimmering tray. "Mmhm-yeah, that dinner was something, I have to admit," you let out a nervous chuckle, not wanting to remember the events of that evening. "Do you like him?"

"W-what?" Jean blushed almost instantly, her beautiful blue eyes averted from your curious gaze and she had to fix her stray lock of hair behind her ear. "He's my boss, and I like working with him."

"Is he a good boss?"

"Yes, he is."

Satisfied with her answer, you crossed your arms and grinned. "Glad to hear it, I mean seriously," you watched her bat her long eyelashes as you moved the tray over to her. "I think you two look great together."

Exhaling, Jean took the tray and giggled sheepishly. "What makes you think that anyway?"

"I just noticed the way he looks at you," you replied frankly, picking up the glasses. "Thanks for the help. Now I have to get a drink for the boys."

With that, you cast your most sincere smile before retreating from the kitchen, and once you were out in the hall, your face became blank and dull. The things you just said - were they just some kind of masochism? You kept asking yourself as you walked to your father's office, where he kept his favorite drinks that he only served to special guests.

Carefully, with cat-like grace, you touched a doorknob when you noticed that the door was half open. Concerned, you quickly turned around and when you saw no one, you quickly opened it and stepped inside, only to freeze in shock and it was a fucking miracle that you didn't let the glasses fall down on the floor.

Bateman was standing with his back to you, so at first you hoped he wouldn't notice, but as soon as you turned on your heels, the man spun around and the sight of you made him smile mischievously and absolutely charmingly.

"Wrong door?" Patrick chuckled and shifted his position so that you could now see him holding a bottle and a lit cigar in the other hand.

"You can't smoke in my house," you said in an irritated voice. "I'm serious."

"Oh, stop it," his mocking chuckle echoed in your ears, annoying you more and more. "Your father gave me permission. Besides, he told me he had a bottle of J&B, so I decided to take it myself, since you two were very slow."

Having said that, the man puffed on his cigar and blew several rings of smoke, causing you to cover your mouth as you started to cough. The sheer arrogance he radiated was poisonous and somehow suffocating, it was like a tight rope around your neck, no snuff could affect you like that.

"Why did you send Jean with me?"

"And why didn't you answer my calls?" Bateman interjected sternly, closing the distance between the two of you.

The sudden question made you lose your balance for a second. "Calls? What calls? I... I don't even understand what you're talking about."

With a cheeky grin, Patrick took a drag on his cigar and blew right into your face. "Hmmm, let me remember," he leaned against the door and cocked his head to the side. "The one right after dinner, and the one the next day, and the one two days after that."

It was strange, because all these days no one had ever told you about Patrick's calls, and you thought that if he had really made them, your father would definitely have told you, since he wanted you two to get along so much.

"All right, let's pretend that you really did call me, but I can't understand why?"

"You seemed very upset after dinner," the man strove to parry your provocative question, though his eyes glowed with the thrill of the challenge you were giving him. "I just wanted to check on you, since your old man is worried about you too much, and... I didn't need any trouble to close the deal."

Another disappointment.

"Business above all, huh?" No matter how hard you tried to hide the pain, your voice still sounded somber.

"Shhh," his sudden touch on your lower lip caused something heavy to fall in your stomach. "Don't be like that, Babydoll. I'm just doing my job."

"Even now?" You taunted him blatantly, though your panting could be clearly heard in the room.

The sexual tension between the two of you was palpable in the air, but you both remained still, even when Bateman approached your neck to inhale your sweet scent, mixing it with the sharp smell of snuff.

What the hell were you doing?

When Bateman pulled away to place the bottle on the nearby bookshelf, he grabbed the glasses you were holding so desperately that your fingers began to curl. Then the man squeezed the cigar between his white teeth and, with practiced ease, picked you up and carried you to your father's desk. As he set you down on the wooden tabletop, he didn't let you protest, pressing his large palm over your mouth.

"Now, now, little girl," he cooed, exhaling smoke before pulling you a little closer. "C'mere, I'm going to show you something."

Carefully but determinedly, Patrick grabbed your chin and drew you closer so that your mouths were barely an inch apart. Pressing his thumb along your lips, the man forced you to part them, and in the next moment, he blew some smoke into your mouth before sealing it with his own. Intoxicated by both the smoke and Patrick's sudden intrusion, your hands clutched desperately at his broad shoulders, cramping the expensive fabric of his pinstriped suit. After all these days of desperate need for his touch, this kiss was like a sip of water in the desert; it was vital and overwhelming. With every breath you took, Bateman's movements became bolder, less tentative and more demanding; his warm hand slipped under your short top to caress your shoulder blades with feathery strokes that almost drove you to moan against his lips, but you struggled to stop yourself.

"Patrick," you gasped after breaking the kiss. "What the hell are we doing?

"You tell me, Babydoll."

"No, because it was you who told me you didn't want to be a babysitter. Did you forget?"

When you tried to slide off the desk, he wouldn't let you, pressing you closer to his strong body and finally putting his cigar in the ashtray not far from where he was holding you. "I always remember my own words…" With that, he placed both his hands on either side of your knees before moving them slowly up along your hips and God, Bateman was doing it so damn slow on purpose, forcing you to jolt from the strange tension in your lower belly - the feeling that had become your personal drug. "Oh, don't pretend you don't like it. Your body speaks for itself."

You tried to pull away from him as you couldn't stand the way his hazel eyes were stripping you down, but the more you struggled, the more Patrick grew impatient, so he just yanked roughly by your hair, forcing you to tilt your head back and expose your delicate neck, which Patrick didn't miss the chance to mark, biting your tender flesh and then sucking the mark with a muffled groan.

There was something feral about him and that 'something' was making your body respond to his every touch, every little contact.

Nuzzling your cheek, Bateman lowered one of his hands to your bare stomach, drawing invisible lines along it before suddenly cupping your throbbing pussy through the tight material of your jeans, making you squeal and shake on the desk.

Just as Patrick was about to kiss you again, you both noticed a commotion coming from behind the door and then realized it was your father, you both didn't even have a chance to move as the door was quickly opened, revealing a very compromising picture.

P.S. Thank you for reading until the end! I don’t have a taglist. You can follow my side blog @makeyoumineagain and turn on notifications to know when I update!

#american psycho #patrick bateman x reader #patrick bateman imagine #patrick bateman #patrick bateman x female reader #patrick bateman x you #slasher x reader #slashers x reader #slasher x you #slasher smut #patrick bateman smut #patrick bateman headcanon #christian bale smut #christian bale x reader #patrick bateman reader #christian bale #patrick bateman imagines

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angelwithdemonictendencies · 1 year

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and looking back at the scrapbooks i see the softness in your gaze; tell me how terrified you are of your longing, of me.

jd6 x reader: sometimes the nice guy doesn’t finish last.

(warnings: blasphemous filth, unprotected penetrative sex (m on f), oral sex (m on f, f on m), hair pulling, road head (safety hazard. don’t do this), not especially rough (consider my other work and what little significance this has), actually feelings (i would never l-bomb you guys. we’re not there. we will never be there), idk all my usual stuff. (please be warned, don’t read if you’re not 100% sure.)

(a/n: alright, thanks for waiting! just in time for stagecoach to be over! i love a good cowboy (i.e. not tz11), so jamie-lovers, this is for you. you’re right, petal is a dumb name, but i’m working with what i’ve got. i don’t know much about jd6, but i’m contemplating taking tz11 off of my blog entirely because of that absolutely traumatizing toddler temper tantrum he exhibited in the last game of the season, so if you like this, and jd6, let me know, as a spot is opening up on the masterlist (someone tell trev, he’ll be devastated, i’m sure). usually i don’t write m on f oral, because i like to write dialogue (can you tell?), but i felt an exception was necessary. you guys are the best, most generous and gentle people. thank you for continuing to be that way. what an insane playoff season we’ve had so far - hope you’re all faring well (or at least as well as you can be, bruins fans). even though they aren’t playing, go canucks. sending so, so, so much love to you and your snakes. i think of you often and fondly. see you soon, thank you for granting me no expectations.

to be honest, there wasn’t really much different about tonight. the same country music festival you went to every year. the same beer. the same songs and the same friends and the same light and promise in the air.

nothing was different, and yet everything was different, because this year you were here, and your ex-boyfriend wasn’t here with you. you had been together for the last three years. how much love and commitment could fit into three years? more than you thought possible.

but love can make a person complicit in their own demise, you had found. for too long, it had been all too easy to hide his controlling behavior under the guise of three years. but a month ago, you had finally walked away, for good this time.

so here you were, in that same touristy southern bar you and your friends always ended the night at, in your cowboy boots, tipsy on laughter more than alcohol, more free than you had been in a long time. dancing, feeling like nothing had ever been more right.

“another, petal?” a soft, fond voice asked from your right.

you turned, felt your face break into a smile, actually let out a dreamy sigh at the sight of his face, nodding towards your empty cup.

“jamie!” you gushed, looping your arms around his waist and grinning up at him. “missed you!”

he let out a laugh at your reaction, brought his own arms around you. you felt his plastic cup rest on the curve of your lower back as he peered down at you, flushed. “missed me? been with you all weekend, cowgirl.” his gaze turned soft. “been with you always.”

he was right. ever since you had first met, maybe two years ago, you and jamie had been inseparable. he was one of your best friends, and you were one of his.

he must have seen something in your eyes, because he lifted a hand to brush your hair from your face. “you okay?”

and you knew what he was asking. you knew he knew you inside-out, and that there very notably was someone who was not here, because for as long as he had known you, that person had been here. as long as he had known you, that person had been at your side.

but, honestly, that person hadn’t been on your mind much at all, except to note how much happier you were. how much lighter you felt, how you danced without worry, without keeping an eye on who he was talking to, who he would disappear to see. how you had reconnected with friends that he had insisted you pushed away, how parts of you were awakening from a slumber you hadn’t realized they had slipped into.

like, for example, the stirring in your stomach when your eyes met jamie’s. had that always been there? had you just subconsciously willed it into nonexistence? had his eyes always been so bright, so soft?

so you weren’t lying when you said, leaning further into the plane of his chest, “i’m perfect.”

his eyes swam with something warm as a laugh rumbled under your palms. “you have no idea, petal,” he said.

you tilted your head, confused. the singing in your stomach grew louder. had he always been so tall, so broad? had his arms around you always felt like this? like they belonged there?

before you could ask what he meant, though, he nodded down again. “want a refill?”

you shook your head, let a sly smile play on your lips. “i want to dance.”

his embrace loosened, if only slightly. “i won’t stop you.”

you let out a small laugh, shook your head again. “i want to dance with you, jamie.”

something different flashed across his eyes, something you could feel deep within yourself. something was about to be different, forever, and you wished so genuinely that he would let it be so. let it be as you deeply felt it should be. as it should have been, all this time.

your stomach jumped with pleasant anticipation as he set his cup down on the bar, then took yours out of your hands and did the same. were his hands shaking, only just?

he nodded towards the dance floor. “lead the way, petal.”

you smiled, big and bright, then took his cowboy hat off of his head and placed it atop yours before turning and walking towards the floor. you thought you heard him mumble fuck behind you as you walked, which only made you smile wider.

jamie rarely swore. in fact, in your years of listening to him, you had rarely heard anything out of his mouth that wasn’t completely sweet. but tonight was different. you had already established that.

a song with a swing in its beat was playing, a lazy, twangy drawl singing along. the kind of song that demanded to be shared, to be enjoyed. the kind of song for which the best harmony was laughter.

you turned and reached out your hands to him, swayed side to side and watched him as he took your hands. warm, so warm, rough, and big enough to fit your whole hand in his. had his hands always sparked a flame in your chest, one you were sure he could see in your eyes?

you pulled his arms back and forth, easing him into a rhythm, as he wasn’t a natural dancer. you swayed and moved your hips, let the music move you and him by translation.

his eyes caught on the top of your head and stayed there for a beat. “do you want it back?” you asked.

his gaze flooded with alarm. “what?” he shook his head. “no, petal, looks so much better on you.”

“good.” you grinned, let go for a moment to run a hand through his hair, messing it up in the way you liked. “i love your hair. want to see it.”

“yeah?” he asked, practically melting into your touch, his voice taking on the slightest hint of a rasp before you watched him shake any haze out of his eyes and voice.

pasting a friendly smile back on his face, he quickly picked you up at the waist and planted you back down, your boots resting on the tops of his. you peered up at him, found his smile a comfort. “let’s see what you’ve got, cowgirl,” he teased before leading you around the floor on top of his boots in a goofy, awkward, completely imperfect dance.

a goofy, awkward, completely imperfect dance made utterly perfect by laughter and smiles and him. all him. the music could have died away, and you swore you would have never known.

eventually you hopped down off of his boots, swung his arms in time with your hips to a different song. a song that had you yearning to bring that hazy, hot fog back into his eyes. one that had you yearning for him, closer.

and of course you noticed how his eyes never left you for even a second. how a heat seemed to build between you, an understanding. how long had he looked at you like that? how blind could you have been to miss it?

you bit your lip to hide a smile when he brought your arm up to give you a twirl, surprised you both when you stopped, leaned your back into his chest, brought his arms down to rest on your front.

this was different. this was dangerous. you could feel every breath he took, and you were sure he could hear your heart beat. but you pushed it further, bit your lips, pressed back deeper until some mixture of a whimper and a groan escaped him.

but you didn’t pull away, only relaxed back into him more completely, feigned obliviousness. “you okay?” you asked, looked up at him with concern in your eyes.

he saw right through you, as he always did. he was not impressed, maybe even worried. “don’t do this to me, petal,” he said, that perfect rasp curling from his mouth like rosy smoke. “don’t know if i can take it.”

but it took no effort at all to will innocence into your eyes as you tilted your neck back to look up at him, to melt him entirely. “please?” you asked, your voice like sugar.

the haze in his eyes was too thick to burn off, now. his smile was sly as he shook his head in disbelief. “mean, mean girl,” he said as he tightened his embrace around you. you felt his deep breath run through you. “i’ve been so good, petal. gonna ruin my track record.”

you furrowed your brow, spun yourself to face him, let his arms hug you against his front. “track record?”

he nodded, flushed pink across his nose. before you could think about it, you traced the tint with the tips of your fingers, felt his breath on you palm. he didn’t move under your touch. “going on two years now.”

you wrapped your arms around his neck. “two years of what, jamie?”

his gaze flickered around the room, almost embarrassed. “don’t make me say it, petal. you know.”

and you did, so you didn’t push him to clarify. you did know, now, weren’t sure how you could have missed it for so long. you had been so caught up in something wrong, someone wrong, that you hadn’t even considered the person who was so desperately right all along. had his gaze always been so soft, so drenched in sweetness, or had it always been so when you were looking away? how could you have been looking away?

you weren’t, now. you pressed yourself as close as you could into him, let the truth flood into your eyes. “you’ve been so good,” you whispered, watched him give a small nod in agreement.

your eyes traced the movement as he ran his tongue along the inside of his cheek. “but i’m gonna ruin your track record,” you said, not feeling the slightest bit sorry. you ran your nails along the back curve of his neck, felt a shiver start under your fingers. “and you’re gonna let me.”

he kept one arm around your back, lifted the other hand to lift his hat off of your head and lowered it again to rest on the small of your back. “and i’m gonna let you,” he conceded, but there was no regret, no sadness, no reluctance in his voice, only slow sweetness, complete consent in being an accomplice to what he believed might be his own destruction.

and so you pulled him down so your lips met his in a kiss that felt like piety after a lifetime of sin, like the smell of a perfume you used in high school, like a pinkie-promise, like everything you had been missing. a kiss that felt like him, and how lovely was that? to know what that felt like. what he felt like, like this.

and when you both pulled away, only just, enough to catch your breath, you found that heat in his eyes that you knew was reflected in yours. “more,” you murmured.

“anything you want, petal,” was his immediate reply, and you could have crumbled at how genuinely he meant it.

“now,” you pleaded, biting your lip, “need you.”

he groaned, drew circles on your lower back with his fingers. “anything but that.”

you pouted, to which he shook his head. “fuck, i won’t budge on this one. i’m not fucking you in a bar bathroom, petal. not when i’ve wanted you for as long as i have.”

it still felt sort of surreal to truly understand that. you didn’t let your gaze falter. “please, please, can we go home, then? it’s only five minutes to the hotel.” you knew he wouldn’t dare refuse you. “i need you, so bad, jamie.”

he was already leading you out of the bar, pulling his keys from his back pocket, opening your car door and helping you in before settling into the driver’s seat.

but when he put his arm behind your headrest to back the car out of the parking lot, you knew the five minutes to the hotel was five minutes too long. so, when he pulled out into the road, you turned to him, rested one hand on his thigh, the other right above the zipper of his jeans, felt your smile glow at his immediate whimper.

“fuck, petal, don’t,” he pleaded, tilting his hips up to meet your touch, breathing becoming ragged. “i’ll crash the goddamn car.”

you didn’t relent, palming him and relishing in his little sounds. “please let me suck you off, jamie? i’ll make you feel so good, promise.”

he groaned, his grip tensing on the steering wheel. you watched the discipline fade from his eyes, bit your lip as his voice took on the despair of a beggar. “please, petal,” he finally bit out. “please make me feel good.”

you smiled to yourself as you took him out of his jeans, spit into your hand, pumped him up and down, felt him hard and hot under your palm.

“oh, fuck,” he murmured, working to keep his eyes on the road. “fuck, petal, love your hands on me.”

you hummed. “love your dirty mouth, jamie,” you praised. “let me hear you, yeah?” before he could answer, you took him in your mouth and hollowed out your cheeks.

you felt one of his hands tangle into your hair, making you moan around him, forcing a matching moan from him as you began to bob your head up and down.

every breath of his sounded like a monumental effort as he tried his hardest to keep his eyes up, not closed and not on you. more than anything, he just wanted to look at you. his words came out like a prayer. “can’t do it,” he croaked. “feels too good, petal, fuck.”

you glowed under his praise, pressed yourself down further, let him hit the back of your throat as the car came to a stop. he pulled you up off of him, mumbled a thank fuck before capturing your lips again in a feverish kiss.

“finally,” you murmured against his lips, zipping him back up before rushing to get out of the car and into the hotel. he took your hand as he led you down the hall to his room, everything around you both an irrelevant blur.

when he finally shut the door behind him and pulled you to his chest to kiss you again, there was only him, and you, and nothing else. you clutched at his shirt with your fists, felt just how effective your mid-drive activity had been against your front as you both kicked off your boots and tugged at each others’ clothes.

“please let me taste you, petal,” he begged into your mouth, “been dreaming about it, about you.” you merely nodded and whimpered your consent, pulling off your jeans. how could you deny him this?

when the back of your legs hit the bed frame, you let yourself fall back onto it, pulled him down with you by his shirt. now that you had felt his lips on yours, you were reluctant to pull away even a bit.

but he pulled away first, shifted down to kneel in front of you, pushed your thighs apart and looked up at your through his long lashes. “you’re sure, petal?” he asked, suddenly hesitant. you nodded, but he persisted. “i can’t be a rebound for you. don’t think i’d survive it.” glossy vulnerability played across his gaze. “tell me you’ll keep me.”

you spoke without wavering, tangled a hand in his hair and forced his eyes to meet yours entirely. “i promise i’ll keep you, jamie. as long as you’ll let me.”

he shone under your words like a teacher’s pet given a golden star. “then let me take care of you, petal,” he whispered. “like you deserve.”

his grip on your thighs tightened as he lowered his head to flatten his tongue and lick a stripe through your folds, forcing a choked moan from your throat as you clutched harder at the soft waves of his hair, making his own grunt vibrate through you.

your moans spurred him on as he teased your clit with his tongue, at the same time bringing a finger up to slowly push in and out of you. you hummed in pleasure, your thighs tensing. “look so pretty on your knees for me, jamie,” you breathed out. “fuck, so good to me, hm?”

you saw the muscles in his back and shoulders clench as he whimpered, only stimulating your clit more as he added a finger and increased his pace. you bit out a breath, feeling yourself quickly getting close as you tugged at his hair in warning.

“shit, j, gonna make me cum,” you whined. “fuck, right there.”

he didn’t slow down, only increasing his speed in and out while sucking on your clit, sending you spiraling over the edge as fuzz crept into your vision like an exploding star, your thighs shaking underneath his strong grip.

slowly, you came down from your high, your heart swelling as you met his patient eyes, looking at you with nothing short of wonder.

“why’re you looking at me like that?” you asked, suddenly subconscious.

he shook his head with a slight laugh as he shifted up from his knees. “can’t believe that this isn’t a dream,” he admitted, now only a breath apart, “fuck, can’t believe how lucky i am.”

you grinned, captured his swollen lips in another kiss that you hoped told him that you felt the same. he pushed his hips against you, and you smiled into his mouth at the stiff length against you. “need you inside me, jamie,” you whispered.

“petal wants even more?” he said. you nodded, unzipped him again. “then that’s what petal will get,” he conceded, tugging you towards him by the outside of your thighs, laying you flat on your back, slowly dragging his cock back and forth through your folds.

you pouted, wrapped your hand around his forearm. “please, need you now, j. don’t tease me.”

he immediately pushed into you, slowly and fully, the sound that escaped him a mix between a groan and a whine. you squinted at the stretch, the fullness, this feeling of him that made the two of you one.

“you feel like a dream, petal,” he grunted, keeping still for a second longer as if to remember this moment forever. “like a fucking dream.”

“please move, j,” you pleaded, tracing your nails along the underside of his forearm. “so big, please, fuck me.”

“like you’re made for me,” he bit out like a revelation, slowly beginning a pace in and out of you. “fuck, so wet for me. feels so perfect.”

you whimpered as the stretch expanded, as the feeling of him overwhelmed all of your senses.

“open your eyes, petal,” he begged, running his thumb back and forth across your clit, making you cry out from overstimulation. “look at me, yeah? want to see you.”

and you couldn’t say no to him even if you wanted to, not like this, not when he was here, when he was everything, everywhere.

he moaned when your eyes caught on his, filled with longing, finally recognized, but never satiated. he fucked into you harder, but not faster, wanting you to feel him as deep as possible, so deep that you’d think of him tomorrow.

as if you’d go a day without thinking of him.

he continued to tease your clit, making your thighs spasm in short spurts as you clenched impossibly hard around him, impossibly warm, entirely you.

“oh fuck, petal, you gonna cum again for me?” he asked, bringing his other hand to place pleasant pressure on your lower stomach. you whined in response, your eyes rolling back at the sensation.

“please cum with me,” he said, “want to feel you cum on my cock. fuck, wanted to feel you for so long, petal. cum for me, hm?”

and at his words, you did as told, clenching tight and gushing around him, triggering his own orgasm. he whimpered as he collapsed on top of you, both of your bodies shiny with effort and pleasure.

you let your breaths gather in his collarbone as his landed in your hair, messy and beautiful, as he lifted off of you and pulled you into his side, where you belonged. you let your breathing do the talking as you felt yourself sparkle with satisfaction, taking in how beautiful he looked.

“you’re so beautiful,” you finally murmured into his chest.

he shook in a low laugh. “thank you, petal.”

“i’m serious,” you said. “no one tells you enough.”

he pulled back slightly, searched your eyes, pushed a lock of hair from your damp face. “i don’t need anyone else to tell me,” he said. “only you.”

you pressed your lips to his in a chaste kiss before sobering again. “what does this mean?”

he continued to play with your hair, twisting it around his fingers as you analyzed his rosy face. he let out a breath. “you know i want as much of you as you’ll let me have.”

“all of it. everything,” you said without hesitation, but he shook his head.

“no,” he said, “not everything.” at your look of confusion, the corner of his mouth turned up and he pulled you impossibly close. “need you to save some just for you, petal. you need some of you for yourself.”

no one had ever said that to you before. no one had ever treated you so gently.

and you didn’t have any words, and he didn’t need any words, so you just took his hand in yours, brought it to your lips, and kissed the top of it.

a secret message that both of you understood, perfectly.

fin.

#nhl #nhl smut #hockey #hockey smut #smut #anaheim ducks #jd6 #jamie drysdale #jamie drysdale x reader #jamie drysdale smut #jamie drysdale imagine #trevor zegras #trevor zegras x reader #trevor zegras smut #trevor zegras imagine #jack hughes #jack hughes smut #jack hughes imagine

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andvys · 8 months

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I knew you'd linger like a tattoo kiss | part 9

Warnings: none. just pure fluff and only a sprinkle of angst. no Steve in this one, he will be back in part ten! It's not proofread very well so if you find any mistakes, just ignore it pleaseee

Pairings: Steve Harrington x fem!reader

Summary: Your friends surprise you on Christmas night.

Word count: 5.6k

series masterlist

Halloween used to be your favorite holiday, Christmas used to be your second favorite.

Now you can’t stand either of them.

Both days remind you of him.

Halloween reminds you of the heartbreak and the pain.

Christmas reminds you of the happiness and the joy you used to feel when he was still yours.

You used to celebrate it, but now it’s just a day filled with painful memories.

You’re home alone, your mom was supposed to have the day off but an emergency call forced her back to the hospital. Now you sit in the lonesome living room with a box of Christmas cookies on the table. The room smells like pine from the christmas tree, the TV is on, the light of it illuminates the darkness in the room.

You pull the soft blanket higher and lean your head on the pillows behind you. You stare blankly at the screen. It’s been three days since you shared your last day with Steve, you haven’t seen or heard from him ever since. He let go, just like you asked him to.

There is still so much pain but the numbness overweighs it all right now. Minutes and days have passed yet you feel like nothing is moving forward. You are stuck in a vicious loop of self doubt and hopelessness.

A knock on the door pulls you out of your thoughts and startles you a little, you sit up and push the blanket off of you. A second knock sounds through the house. Rolling your eyes, you get up from the sofa and leave the living room. You hear voices on the other side of the door and you instantly know who it is.

You open the door and just as you had suspected, you find your friends standing on your porch. Chrissy, Heather and Eddie. You can’t help but feel surprised to see the three of them together.

He is holding a brown bag, you can already smell the fast food. Heather is holding another bag that you can’t help but take a peek into, you see the Christmas themed wrapping paper right away.

Chrissy and Heather greet you as excitedly as always.

“Hey sweetheart,” Eddie grins, waving his fingers at you.

A smile tugs at your lips, you furrow your brows as you look at them.

“Hi, what are you guys doing here?”

You haven’t seen Heather and Chrissy since the night at the dance, they have been busy with Christmas preparations. Eddie was working on Wayne’s car with him and busy writing songs with Jeff and you were busy trying to get over some things. You open the door further and step to the side to let them in.

“To spend Christmas with you,” Heather smiles and moves past you.

Chrissy walks in next, looking at you with a bright smile on her face as she whispers hi again.

“Hi,” you giggle.

“We brought the best Christmas food,” Eddie jokes as he hands you the bag of fast food. He closes the door after he steps inside.

“Benny’s burgers are the best,” you say as you look into the bag. “Aren’t you guys supposed to be with your families?”

“My mom invited a bunch of people over, including the Carver’s,” Chrissy mumbles with a disgusted look on her face, “I sneaked out, she won’t even notice I’m gone.”

“Jason Carver is at your house?” Eddie asks, looking just as disgusted as Chrissy does.

��Yeah,” she rolls her eyes.

“I spent Christmas eve with my parents, they told me to spend the day with you,” Heather shrugs and then gives you a stern look, “and why did we have to find out that you’re alone tonight, through him?” She asks, nudging her chin towards Eddie.

“Wait what?”

Eddie chuckles, he wraps his arm around your shoulder and looks down at you, “I ran into your mom this morning, she told me that she was called in for work so I called your girls and here we are.”

Your eyes soften as they lock with his.

You and Eddie have been friends for almost two months now and while you had been spending a lot of time together, there haven’t been any occasions where your friends had joined your hangouts. He had briefly talked to them a few times but that’s all. To know that he had put in the effort into making your night better, calling your friends up to come here, warms your heart.

“You’re the best,” you whisper, “but what about Wayne?”

“Don’t worry your pretty little head about him, he was called in for work, like your mom.”

Chrissy looks between you and Eddie, a slight frown appears on her face, one that only Heather seems to notice.

“Uh let’s eat!” She says and grabs the bag out of your hands after placing the one with the presents on the ground.

You and Eddie look away from each other. He clears his throat and you turn to look at your friends, Chrissy isn’t smiling anymore, if anything, she looks annoyed, “I’m gonna get some plates,” she says and walks into the kitchen.

“Are we gonna eat in the living room?” Heather asks.

You nod at her and go after Chrissy.

“Are you okay, Chris?” You ask as you step into the kitchen.

“Yeah!” She says as she reaches for the plates in the cupboard, she turns back around with a smile on her face, “why wouldn’t I be?”

You can see the forced smile, the look in her eyes that is anything but happy.

You shrug, “I don’t know, you seem tense,” you say as you open the fridge to get some drinks.

She hesitates for a moment, she stares at the back of your head and shifts on her feet.

“I– it’s just, Jason.”

It’s a lie. You know it is. Heather and Chrissy might have spared you all the details about their love lives because they knew how much you were struggling yourself. Despite you telling them that you are always there for them, they still wanted to protect you from any kind of negativity. Which you hate. You want to be there for them, just like they are always there for you.

“What about him?” You ask and turn around to face her after closing the fridge, “did he do something?”

She shakes her head, “no, he’s just very persistent but it’s nothing new,” she sighs and looks down, “he’s trying to get me to go on a date with him.”

You roll your eyes at her words, you hate Jason Carver. You hate the way he thinks that he can have anything and everything.

“I’ll never understand how some guys won’t take no for an answer,” you mumble, “I could kick his ass for you.”

She giggles, shaking her head.

“Or we could find you a boyfriend who will kick his ass.”

You watch her closely and you can see the way her eyes flash with something unrecognizable. Her smile falls but only for a second, if you weren’t watching her so closely, you wouldn’t have noticed it.

“Are you guys coming?” Heather asks.

“Yeah.”

You nudge your head towards the doorway, “come on.”

As you walk back into the living room, you sense the awkwardness right away. You notice the smug look on Heather’s face and the blush on Eddie’s cheeks. You furrow your brows as you look between them, wondering what she had said to him to make him look so embarrassed.

You look down and place the drinks on the table.

“Well, that’s gonna be the best Christmas dinner ever.”

“This is our turkey and mashed potatoes,” Heather jokes.

Chrissy puts the plates on the table before she sits down on the armchair, crossing her leg over the other.

Eddie scoots closer to the edge, already looking at you. You smile and sit down beside him.

“What did you do after the dance?” Heather asks, looking between you and Eddie, the smug smile still present. She places the burger and fries on the plate, giving you the first one.

You and Eddie glance at each other.

“We went to the diner,” you say as you reach for the plate, muttering a small ‘thank you’.

“Yeah and then we had a movie night and got high together,” Eddie chuckles.

“And what did you do, Heather?” You ask, “when I left, you were with Billy.”

Eddie scrunches his face up in disgust, “Hargrove?” He asks with a judgmental look on his face.

Heather glares at him, “he can be nice.”

Chrissy snorts, “yeah, when he wants something.”

“Maybe he has a soft spot for Heather,” you smirk, wiggling your brows at your best friend.

She rolls her eyes, though the blush on her cheek isn’t hard to miss.

“I still don’t like him,” Chrissy mumbles.

“You don’t like any of the guys we date, Chris.” You joke.

“Yeah, maybe because you choose to date the shittiest guys,” she retorts with a sassy tone.

You raise your brows in surprise while Eddie chuckles, his dark eyes flashing with amusement when he turns to look at you.

“She’s right, Hargrove and Harrington aren’t really the best guys around.”

“There aren’t any best guys around in the first place,” Chrissy mumbles in annoyance before she looks at Eddie, “no offense.”

“None taken,” he chuckles.

You agree with her partly. There are still some good guys around but there are also too many bad ones – Steve might not be a bad person but he sure wasn’t the best boyfriend. You wouldn’t call him a shitty one though – but maybe that’s because you still love him.

You wonder where he is tonight.

Is he with his family?

Is he with her family?

Is he still with her or did he break things off with her after your night together?

Is he – no. Stop it, just stop thinking about him, you tell yourself. You force your mind to think about something else, about someone else.

“I got the best guy around,” you smile and lean your head on Eddie’s shoulder.

Chrissy sighs, her blue eyes are filled with annoyance but only Eddie seems to notice.

You look at Heather, she is furrowing her brows at something Eddie said, she looks confused but she still laughs. You had always been nervous about this. About your friends not getting along with Eddie. You are aware of how he feels about people who are popular and about the things people say about him at school, hell, you remember the way he was so nervous the first few times you spoke to him, he tried to mask it with humor and confidence but you saw right through him. You know that he had been nervous about meeting your friends – two popular cheerleaders who associate with guys like Billy Hargrove and Jason Carver. You were scared that they would hate each other but clearly, you shouldn’t have worried that much, besides, Eddie is not your boyfriend. He is just a friend.

Now as you look at Heather and Eddie, you can’t help but notice the resemblance. They kind of look alike. Her hair is just as dark, long and curly as his. Pale skin. Dark eyes and pouty lips. They look like siblings.

You can feel his eyes on you and you can also feel Chrissy’s eyes on you.

You wonder what she is thinking about. Ever since your breakup with Steve, she has been fiercely protective over you and she gets mad at any guy who even looks your way.

It’s cute. But you are not looking for new relationships any time soon so there is nothing for her to worry about, right?

After your ‘christmas dinner’, you all exchange gifts. Eddie promises to give you his present later. By the blush on his cheeks, you can tell that he is too shy to give it to you now, in front of your friends.

He takes it upon himself to use your polaroid camera to take pictures of you and your friends, not wanting to sit there awkwardly and stare at you as you unwrap the present you got from Chrissy.

He smiles when you squeal in excitement at the new book collection, your eyes light up and you throw your arms around her.

“Psst.”

Eddie lowers the camera after taking a picture of you. He looks over at Heather, who scoots closer to him.

“I see you’re having fun,” she teases with yet another smirk on her face.

Eddie shakes his head and looks down. Something he never thought would happen is him getting along with your friends. He was incredibly nervous when he called them today, he did it for you. He wanted you to have a nice day, a day filled with new memories instead of old ones that will always take you back to someone who hurt you.

Eddie shouldn’t have worried that much. Chrissy and Heather are nice. They didn’t throw him any judgmental looks nor did they snap at him the way other girls from the cheer squad would do. They are nice and they accept him – as your friend.

“Yeah, I’m taking pictures of my friend.”

Heather snorts.

You push all your presents to the side and take a look at all the pictures Eddie took of you with your friends. A small frown appears on your face and you look up at him, “we need a picture together too.”

“You want one?” Eddie asks, smiling.

“Yes!”

“I can take one of you guys,” Heather says with a smug look on her face as she sends yet another smirk at Eddie. You don’t see it and you don’t see the way he huffs as he shakes his head.

You walk towards him. He hands the polaroid camera to Heather.

You and Eddie smile at each other, he holds his arm up and you curl under his arm, placing your hand on his back.

The mischief in Heather’s eyes should be enough of a warning to Eddie but when she tells you both to take a few steps back, he just knows.

“Take another step back,” she says, gesturing you to go back further.

“Just take the picture, Heather!” You say.

“I’m trying to get the best position.”

And the best position is in the doorway.

“Oopsie,” Heather giggles, “look up.”

Mistletoe.

Chrissy rolls her eyes as she looks at you and Eddie. She turns away and begins to gather all the wrapping paper.

You giggle and Eddie snorts, “seriously?” He asks.

Before you can even react, Eddie wraps both arms around you and picks you up, he presses his lips against your cheek, kissing you loudly which only makes you giggle even louder. You wrap your arms around his neck and close your eyes with a smile on your face.

You are not surprised by Eddie’s actions, he was always very affectionate with you. Eddie’s embrace always made you feel safe and secure.

Steve’s embrace felt different, you always loved having his arm around you, you loved it when he hugged you tightly and kissed the top of your head but while you felt at home, he always felt like he wasn’t there. Like his mind was elsewhere. Like he couldn’t relax the way you did when he held you. But as relaxed as you felt, you couldn’t help but worry and tense up a little whenever you noticed his absence.

It’s different with Eddie. He is here and he feels relaxed and it all just feels natural but maybe that’s just because he is a friend. He doesn’t have to worry about the things that Steve worried about and you don’t have to worry about where his head is at. You are friends and your love is platonic – maybe this is what should have been between you and Steve. Platonic love. Maybe things would have been better.

Heather takes the picture and laughs at the two of you.

Eddie lowers you back on the ground. A strand of his hair gets caught in your eyelash and you both giggle. He pulls it away carefully. Neither of you notice the flash going off as Heather takes another picture of the two of you.

Neither of you notice the look on Chrissy’s face as she stares at you, she frowns and her eyes are filled with sadness. Heather turns around with a smile on her face, one that quickly falls when she sees the look on her face. Guilt rushes through her, she knows how she feels.

“Can we go?” Chrissy asks her and pleads with her eyes.

Heather nods.

“Wait what?” You ask as you pull away from Eddie to walk towards her, “you want to go already?”

Chrissy nods. She puts her hand on her neck and forces a smile on her face, “y-yeah, I don’t want to get into trouble with my mom.”

“Oh, right,” you mumble.

You understand it but you know that there is more, something that she doesn’t want to tell you, something that she doesn’t want you to know. You aren’t the only one who noticed it. Eddie noticed it too. Her glances at you, the sad and longing look in her eyes.

You pull her into a hug, she instantly wraps her arms around you.

“Thank you,” you whisper.

You pull away from her to hug Heather, as well.

When they both walk away, Chrissy turns around, she looks at you and for a moment she hesitates. She halts in her tracks and her lips part, the uncertainty in her eyes makes you question her. What is going on with her? You know she wants to say something, you know she wants to talk to you but something always pulls her back. Tonight, it’s the warning look in Heather’s eyes, it’s not a mean look, not at all. But when Chrissy turns to look at Heather, there is a knowing look in both their eyes and that’s when you know for certain, they are hiding something.

Chrissy’s shoulder slump and she turns back to you with a forced smile, “bye.”

You smile weakly, the weird feeling in your chest returns – it’s the same feeling you always got when you felt that Steve was hiding something from you.

“Bye,” you whisper.

You hate it when people keep things from you. It makes you feel left out. Heather and Chrissy are your best friends, you have never kept secrets from each other, never.

But now Chrissy is keeping something from you and Heather is hiding her secret from you.

Does it have something to do with you?

What do they not want you to know?

“Y/n?”

Eddie’s voice pulls you out of your thoughts. You turn around to see him holding two presents in his hands, a smile pulling at his lips.

The frown on your face melts into a smile, “more presents?”

His dark eyes flash with excitement, he hands you the presents. You grin and bite your lip as you sit down on the couch.

“Which one should I do first?”

He shrugs, “the small one!”

“Okay,” you giggle. You place the bigger present on the table and begin to unwrap the small one. You throw the wrapping paper on the table and stare at the little box. You glance at Eddie through your lashes.

“Open it!”

His excitement makes you smile even more.

You open the box and he watches the way your eyes light up as you reach for the rings.

“Oh my god! They almost look like yours!”

Eddie chuckles, he sits down next to you, “that’s why I got them for you, I know how much you like them.”

“I love them!”

You put one on your pointer finger, another one on your middle finger and you leave the one with the black stone for your left hand, putting it on your ring finger. You wiggle your fingers as you stare at the rings, “they fit perfectly.”

“Give me your hand!” You say as you turn your body towards him. He reaches his hand out to you with a chuckle. You hold your hand up next to his and smile, “look, we’re twinning.”

Eddie leans closer and grabs your hand, “your hand is so tiny,” he says. He presses his palm against yours, smiling at the difference.

“You just have a really big hand,” you chuckle.

You keep your palm pressed against his and look up to see him looking at you. He smiles when your eyes lock. His eyes roam your face and you can’t help but smile at him too.

“You have another one,” he whispers, nudging his head towards the other present.

You blink.

“Yeah,” you whisper and pull your hand away from his. You reach for the present and eye it, wondering what it’s in there. You tear the paper off quickly. You eye the leather with big eyes, “are you kidding me?”

Eddie chuckles at your reaction.

You raise the leather jacket to get a better look at it, “how? Eddie, it's the one I told you about!” You gasp and jump up to put the jacket on.

“Figured it would be a nice present,” he smiles, happily.

“It’s the best!” You squeal and look down at it with, “you shouldn’t have–”

“I wanted to,” Eddie interrupts you and stares at you with a fond smile on his face, “look at you, you’re turning into me.”

You snort at his words. Though, he is right, kind of. After your breakup with Steve, you have slowly pulled away from the things you used to love or thought you loved. You started exploring, a little. New clothes, new colors, new music. Things that Eddie loves, you found a liking towards as well.

You throw your arms around him and hug him tightly.

“Thank you,” you whisper into his neck, “thank you for everything.”

Eddie had been more than a shoulder to lean on, in the past few months. He had been more than just a friend. He is a best friend, not like Chrissy and Heather are though. He is different somehow.

He hugs you tightly, “you’re welcome, sweetheart. I’m glad you like your presents.”

You know that he must’ve used most of his savings to get you the presents, it makes you feel guilty.

You pull back and smile, “I got you something too.”

His brown eyes flash with excitement and curiosity. You pat his shoulder and get up, reaching for his hand, “come on, it’s in my room.”

A playful smirk tugs at his lips and he wiggles his brows suggestively, “oh? A striptease?”

“Shut up!” You laugh and shake your hand as you pull him out of the living room.

He chuckles.

You run up the stairs, holding onto the railing.

“Slow down, cheerleader!”

“Can’t! I’m too excited.”

You rush into your room and turn on the light. You drop his hand and walk towards the present you have left on your dresser.

Eddie eyes you, loving the excitement on your face. He sits down on the bed. You turn around and walk back to him, handing him the present.

He eyes it, he can feel the thin paper, thinking that it’s an envelope, he sends you a teasing look, “is that a love letter?” He winks.

“Yeah,” you joke, “I know it doesn’t look like much but–”

“Hush,” Eddie says, waving you off. He looks down and tears the red paper off. When he sees the tickets, he freezes for a moment. He stares at them for a long minute before he takes them into his hand, he slowly lifts them up.

His eyes are wide and filled with shock, his lips part.

“No fucking way,” he whispers. His heart jumps in his chest as he stares at the Metallica tickets. “You didn’t!”

You clap your hands together and smile, nodding at him.

“You got me concert tickets?” He gasps. He gets up and stares at you with wide eyes. “Metallica concert tickets?”

You giggle at the shocked look on his face.

“Y/n!”

Suddenly, he jumps at you, he picks you up and spins you around, making you squeal again.

“Eddie!” You giggle.

He places you back on the ground and you both stumble forward a little, both laughing. He takes your hands in his, smiling brighter than ever. The happiness and the excitement radiates off of him. “I can’t believe you got me tickets, sweetheart!”

“I had to! They’re coming to Indianapolis! You can take Jeff or Gareth o-or Wayne, of course!”

“Are you kidding?” He asks, squeezing your hand, “I’m taking you, dumbass!”

“Are you sure?”

“Of course!”

Eddie pulls you into another hug, he squeezes you tightly. “Best present ever, sweetheart.”

“I’m glad you’re happy.”

“I am happy,” he whispers.

You didn’t think that your night would go this way, that it would bring you more than the numbness that you have been feeling the past few days. You are thankful for your friends who are always there to make things better.

You are thankful for him.

For the first time, you speak about the night with Steve. You didn’t tell Heather and Chrissy about it. You feel safe telling him about it. Eddie never judged you, as much as he always disliked Steve, he never judged you about anything that had to do with him.

He doesn’t judge you for getting drunk with him, for partying with him, for hugging him and letting him hold you, one last time.

He was the one who pushed you to talk to him, he didn’t expect this but he can’t say that he is surprised. He would have done the same thing if he was in your place.

You love Steve, you always will.

A love like this will never fade away. It makes him sad to see you suffering but letting him go, is for the better. He thinks that you need this. To be by yourself and focus on things that bring you joy, things that won’t hurt you. He can see that you are ready to move on from the past.

The music is playing, you somehow convinced Eddie to listen to The Smiths. Heaven Knows I’m Miserable Now is playing. Eddie won’t admit it but he likes the song. You are holding your hand up and stare at the rings he got you. While Eddie thinks about the concert that he will go to soon, you think about what he said, a few days back.

The song stops playing and for a moment, the room is silent.

“Eddie?”

“Yes?”

“I think I’m ready.”

“Ready for what, sweetheart?”

“I’m ready to try new things, I’m ready for a fresh start.”

“What do you say?”

He reads your eyes. There is longing for something more, uncertainty and fear of the future but also excitement.

“I say that ‘85 will be your year, baby,” he smiles.

“Hmm, I say, it will be our year. ‘Cause you and I, we are both snatching that diploma and getting out of here. Got it?”

He chuckles, “got it, ma’am.”

“To ‘85!” You say, holding up your pinky to him.

His eyes flash with amusement, “you’re supposed to drink to it but sure, to ‘85.”

He hooks his pinky around yours and taps your nose with his other hand.

You both laugh and lay your heads back on the carpet. A weird feeling rushes through you, it’s not a bad one. It’s one that tells you that everything will be okay.

“You know what we should do?” You say after a moment of silence.

“What?”

You sit up and you quickly take your jacket off. He stares at you, confused. You jump up and replace the leather jacket with a flannel. You put your hand on your hips and look around for a moment, searching for something.

“What are you looking for?” He chuckles.

“Ah.”

You walk towards your dresser and open the top drawer. Eddie watches as you rummage through the drawer until you finally find what you were looking for. A black hat and a scarf, you throw it at Eddie, “put it on!”

The hat hits him in the chest, it falls to his lap and he looks down, still confused.

“What are we gonna do?”

“We’re gonna have some fun!” You say as you put your own hat on, wrapping a red scarf around your neck and putting on some gloves.

“I hate hats and scarfs,” he frowns as he already wraps the scarf around his neck.

“I know you do, Eddie.”

You walk back to him and reach for the hat, forcing it on his head.

“You’re a menace, sweetheart.”

“Because I don’t want you to catch a cold?”

“Why would I catch a cold?”

“We’re gonna have a snowball fight!” You say, excitedly as you reach for his hands and pull him up. “And then we’re gonna drink hot cocoa and watch some Christmas horror movie.”

You pull him out of your room, “and you can stay over if you want.”

He gasps playfully, “I get to sleep in the queen’s bed?” He asks as he puts his hand on his chest, “a peasant in a queen’s bed? What will the kingdom say about this?”

“Shut up, dork.”

You rush down the stairs and you both put your shoes on hastily before you leave the house. The snow is falling, it’s cold but the air is nice and the silence is welcoming. It’s dark out but the Christmas lights on your porch gleam brightly in the snow.

Eddie doesn’t even waste a second before he hits your back with a snowball.

“Hey!” You laugh as you turn around, “we didn’t even start–”

He throws another one at you but you duck this time and reach for the snow, you form the snow into a ball and throw it at him but he ducks just the way you did. You walk backwards, your boots sink into the snow, making it harder for you to escape him quickly.

Eddie laughs wickedly as he runs towards you with a snowball.

You giggle and turn around, running through the snow in your yard.

“Run little rabbit!” He says with a deep voice.

You lean down and gather some snow, “you’re not playing fair, Eddie!”

He laughs and halts in his tracks, letting you run off.

You turn around and hold the snowball up. He is standing in the snow, smirking at you, waiting for you to hit him first now. Instead of throwing it at him, you run off.

“Oh you wanna play catch?” He chuckles as he watches you run behind the house. He follows you, running after you through the snow, “I hope you know that I hate running!”

He hears your giggle but he can’t see you. He looks around, ducking to see if you are hiding behind the bushes or the trees but you are nowhere to be seen.

“You’re mean–”

The cold snow hits him on his cheek, it was a soft throw but it caught him off guard.

“Oops!”

Eddie snorts, he turns towards you, finally, he sees you behind the big oak tree. He chuckles as he wipes the snow off his cheek, he runs towards you and you squeal in surprise, running into the other direction.

You are both laughing as you run through the snow like little kids. As much as he hates running, he is still faster than you, it doesn’t take him long to catch up with you, when he does, he grabs your waist and pulls you back, picking you up again which only makes you squeal again.

“Got ya!” He whispers in your air and spins you around until he trips on a tree branch under the snow, making you both fall down. His back hits the snow and yours hits his chest but it only makes you laugh harder.

“That’s your definition of a snowball fight, sweetheart?”

You roll off of him, laying down on the snow beside him.

“You started it,” you laugh.

“It was your idea!”

You giggle, you grab some snow and throw it on his chest.

“See! You’re a little menace!” He laughs and does the same to you, making you giggle louder.

You go back and forth that way until you both get tired of it.

He gets up first and reaches for your hands, pulling you up after dusting the snow off of his clothes.

It starts snowing harder than before, large snowflakes fall from the sky and a smile tugs at your lips as you tilt your head up to look at the falling snow.

You forget everything for a moment and he can tell by the look on your face. You look at peace and the smile on your face is genuine, for a moment, you look happy and Eddie can’t help but smile as he watches you.

Neither of you notice how intimate this moment looks. How you stand there chest to chest as you look up and he looks down at you.

You and Eddie are just friends but to an outsider it looks more than that.

To Steve, it looks more than that.

Whatever had dragged him here, quickly forces him to leave again when he sees you with him. When he sees you standing on the same spot where he had kissed you for the very first time – now you stand there with him, with another man.

And despite what happened between the two of you a few nights ago, despite the heartbreak he had already felt, he feels it yet again.

You let him go but can he let you go?

next part

Don't yell at me about the Eddie x reader in this one! This is still a Steve fic!

Tagging friends & mutuals!

@mysticmunson @wroteclassicaly @corrodedcorpses @corrodedseraphine @screammunson @hellfire--cult @imjuststeddietrashatthispoint @sherrylyn628 @nemesis729 @somethingvicked @take-everything-you-can @taintedcigs

#steve harrington x reader #steve harrington x you #steve harrington imagine #steve harrington fluff #steve harrington angst #steve harrington fanfic #steve harrington fic #stranger things angst

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cometkenji · 13 days

Text

ghost in the machine

Pairing: Unsub!Spencer Reid x Agent!Fem!reader CW: Fluff, longing, mild angst, one paragraph with heavy implications of sex, cursing, mentions of reader being in a car accident, mentions of suicide and death, suggestive Ig? idk Spencer kind of taunts reader, if I miss anything please tell me! Summary: An unsub targeting local political powers starts calling you. With virtually no memories of your life before 15, you're tasked with finding out why his voice feels like home. Disclaimer: Reader is chubby. She's not physically described in this but reader is literally always a bigger person. Anyone can read but I wanna clarify <3 WC: 7.8k I lokey feel like I fumbled this one but this idea has been in my head since I saw a post about it like last month so i'm sorry in advance if it sucks 💀 I'm not saying looping ghost in the machine by SZA while reading this will elevate the experience but just know it's strongly advised and im even giving you a link to the song for easy access.

The fourth case this month. This was the fourth battered politician you’d forced into handcuffs while ducking away from the recoil of blood spewing from his mouth. The men you’d arrested had all protested strongly - and wetly - while being walked to the back of your cruiser, demanding to know why you were arresting them even though they were the victims. They were always the victims. They’d been burgled and beaten - yes- oftentimes you were restraining them while they sat in bathrobes or pajama pants, but this unsub always jumped the gun. Somehow they managed all this damage while simultaneously kicking the dirt that had been sedentary for years out from under the rug. The men would call the police themselves - I’ve been robbed, I’ve been beaten - always astounded when you’d taken their statement then turned them around and recited their Miranda rights. This unsub was meticulous, planned down to the second. Somehow, the media always broke the story hours after the arrest with full fledged details on the crime - ones the BAU didn’t even have yet.

The first time this happened, you’d questioned every media worker from Quantico to DC. His target zone never seemed to reach beyond that, giving you an offender right in your backyard. Those were always the hardest to stomach. Journalists, Newscasters, even cameramen had been turned inside out as the team scoured for any connection. He was just too good.

“How can it be just one man?” Derek spoke first, but that was the question all of you were about to ask.

“Wife and kids were outta town. It was a sleeping 50 year old man against the element of surprise.” Prentiss was right, it wasn’t a difficult job when viewed like that. “Description is consistent with all the victims. All black attire, mask over the face.” She flopped the folder down in front of her for emphasis.

“Either he has another guy or he’s incredibly tech savvy. Some of this information was encrypted, it would take weeks to compile all of this. If he’s hitting a new vic every week that’s not nearly enough planning time for something this orchestrated.” Hotch checked the time on his watch. “We’re not finding him tonight. The local PD are investigating. We don’t have clearance until tomorrow. Everybody go home and get some rest, we need to crack down on this.”

As much as you loved your job, the departure was a welcome relief. The day had drained you, you had to basically drag yourself back to the BAU for the regroup after the case. It was routine, and incredibly necessary as this unsub continued his streak, but your brain was mush, and you didn’t know if you were capable of any breakthroughs in your current state. You were grateful, currently, that at least you weren’t dealing with a serial killer. He had an agenda, that much was obvious, but chasing a serial killer for a month bred a different kind of stress than chasing an anarchist.

The AC blast that hit you upon entering your home seemed to steal the tension from your shoulders. It was summer, so on top of hunting an unsub who was essentially a ghost, you were also bearing through the violently humid nights. You locked the door, pulling up your sleeves as you walked deeper into your house. The lights were on, you never left them off for long, and your eyes locked on the pile of notes sitting on your counter. Three small papers, torn at every edge, were draped over each other. Evidence, you thought. You’d kept them for evidence. Once you told the team the unsub had been reaching out, you would show them the notes. It was that simple, you were planning to tell them. You didn’t know why the information hadn’t entered their radar yet. This unsub was clearly infatuated. You could be a valuable part of solving this case, the notes could be the reason you solved it at all. Those were words straight from the source, they would tell you more about the unsub than any crime scene analysis would. Something about them just stilled your tongue, though. You never particularly liked the feds, the cops, the higher ups. You became one of them begrudgingly, you’d been good at reading people your whole life. You wanted to solve things, see justice. It was never primarily about helping people for you, and you feared the reputational repercussions if your team members ever found out about that. You weren't ignorant, you had morals. You simply lacked the place of purity they came from, the virtue your team members carried was one you were void of. Half of the time you walked away from a case, you disagreed with the verdict, and you were ashamed.

You had only realized you zoned out when the phone rang, effectively breaking your gaze away from the notes and onto the ‘Unknown caller’ screen glaring at you from your cell. Morgan just got a new phone, you remembered. He’s probably checking in. You picked it up, stating just your last name in greeting as a reflex from almost exclusively talking to other agents.

It was quiet for a moment, reaching the period of time where your stomach knotted up and almost forced you off the phone. “Hey, Y/n.” The voice was a new one, it pulled at certain strings within you. You knew him, but you didn’t recognize him.

“Who’s this?” The spark of familiarity filled you with guilt. A car accident when you were 15 had stolen most of the memories from your childhood and left a bountiful amount of scars in their place. You barely remembered your own parents, if this man was an old relative, you definitely didn’t know who he was. As much as your family tried to be empathetic, you could tell it hurt them when you were none the wiser.

“God, it’s good to hear your voice.” The man was smiling as he spoke, you could hear it in his tone. “Your number was shockingly hard to find. Feds really don’t mess around, huh?” Your shoulders tensed, you looked around. Blinds were closed, your house was the same as when you left it. You're sure it wouldn’t be hard to find your address if he’d found your number. “I’ve been trying, believe me. I left those notes while I was looking, although it’s really not the same, is it? Phones are so revolutionary, I mean writing you a letter is one thing but it’s so underwhelming in comparison. A piece of paper doesn’t let me listen to you, doesn’t let me hear those little breaths you take when you get scared.” You didn’t even realize your breathing had changed until he called you out.

“Do I scare you?” He sounded so domestic, the contrast between the genuinity laced in his words and the actual words themselves just about knocked you over. “I hope I don’t. I’m not trying to.”

“What are you trying to do?” Your mouth felt sealed shut, just barely managing to grate out the words.

“If you’re asking about my agenda, I’m afraid that’s a private affair for now.” He was so casual about this, sarcastically sucking air in through his teeth like he was telling you he couldn’t meet for coffee next week.

“What do you need with me, then? You don’t want to share and you aren’t calling to gloat. What’s the point?”

You heard him click his tongue at the question. “Everything is so technical with you agents.” You could basically sense his lips quirk up, gaining some type of sick intuition for the man’s tendencies. “Maybe I just wanted a word with the pretty detective working my case.”

Your knees were trembling, your grip getting looser on the phone as you struggled to keep your hold through the tremors of your hands. You had to focus, you could take advantage of this. “Why politicians? What happened to you?”

“Personal grudge.”

“How do you get their data so fast?”

“I know a guy” He knew a guy?

“So you have a partner?”

“I wouldn’t worry about it.”

“Why not?”

“It’s no one of importance.” Sibling, maybe?

“It’s important to me.”

He chuckled at that. You needed to hang up.

“Y/n-” Could he sense your fucking muscles tensing? “Don’t tell your friends.” He could hear your heartbeat from where he was, you were sure of it.

“Why?” You were instantaneous, barely letting him finish before responding. “You gonna hurt me?”

“No.” He scoffed. “If you tell them, I’ll have to stop reaching out.” You swore you could feel the weight of his eyes on you. “Is that really something you want?” Cold sweat pierced through the skin on the back of your neck. You yanked the phone down from your ear and hung up.

No, it wasn’t.

–

You dreadfully greeted the sun as it peeked through the slits of your blinds. You’d slept maybe a half hour in total last night, sleeping in five minute increments while bearing through a paranoid haze only comparable to the first time you’d smoked weed. The world felt unreachable. You could see it like a screen but your true consciousness sat captive in his hands. He’d known you. That was the fact stuck in your throat, that’s why you couldn’t sleep. Does that mean you knew him?

“Jesus.” If you had to guess, the sight of your sunken eyes and hunched shoulders was the trigger for Morgan’s reaction to the sight of you. Walking into work wasn’t going to be fun, you knew that, but you hadn’t expected such an immediate acknowledgement. “Someone have a rough night?”

You wished you could banter with him. Morgan always made working here feel lighter, he was fun to be around, but you were guilty. If you were tired from a one-night, insomnia, even if you were drunk and puking your guts up all night, you would have joked back with him. Now, you had to force yourself to make eye contact. A childish part of your brain was scared he'd smell it on you. At this point, you were fraternizing with the enemy, and it’s repercussions were draped over you like a curtain. “Couldn’t sleep.”

“Clearly.” He handed you a mug of coffee. “Is it the case? If it’s bugging you that much, one of us can stay with you for a couple nights. It’s no trouble.”

“No, Morgan, that’s not necessary.” He was so kind it was nearly suffocating. If someone stayed, he either wouldn’t call or you’d have to decline it. Both of those options making an uncomfortable amount of unease stir inside you. “I appreciate it, but I’ll be fine.”

“Just tell me if you need anything.” He nodded at you, you nodded back, then you both headed into the conference room.

“Any leads?” You walked to your seat as you asked, unsure what you were hoping to receive as an answer.

“None.” Everyone else was gathered around the table, Hotch scanning through the file as he replied to you.

“We’ve pretty much ruled out the media workers.” Prentiss spoke up. “This guy’s most likely an anarchist. His previous victims haven’t belonged to a consistent party so he’s not lashing out at the opposing side.” She thought for a moment. “What path leads somebody to anarchy?”

“Maybe he’s been kept out of office.” Morgan started speculating, just trying to sweep together something they could pin to him. “If he’s been running long enough, maybe he gets angry, changes course. He could be jealous of his targets.”

Your brain was half focused on the case, half focused on him. Two sides of you were fighting, one instilling a sort of protectiveness over him, one howling at you to do your fucking job.

“I don’t think he’s an anarchist.” You leaned forward in your chair, revving up to present your theory. “He’s been described in the same outfit for every victim. Long Sleeve, cargo pants, gloves and a ski mask - all black. That’s as minimal as it gets. Some pretty low income areas are well within his safe zone.” You paused, looking around to see if they were understanding what you were getting at.

“He’s poor.” Hotch had a glint in his eyes. Almost.

“So - what?” Morgan prompted. “He’s doing this for money? This is way too elaborate for somebody needing cash.” He shook his head as he spoke. “Hotch, there was evidence of Scopolamine injections. A man who either knows how to make the chemical or already has enough money to buy it wouldn’t be in a position that warrants this. Plus, the kind of tech it would take to get the information he steals? Way more than your typical Best Buy - this is Garcia level stuff. He injects them and probably forces them to help with the robbing, he beats them senseless - he’s getting some kind of kick out of this.”

“He’s not poor” You concluded. “But I’m pretty sure he used to be.” You sat up straighter to elaborate. “A lot of times, kids who grow up homeless or with no money feel wronged by politicians. Here they are going to school hungry while the mayor rolls in cash and lets them bear the consequences of a put-off promise to help the community.”

Prentiss sat back in her chair as she considered your words. “To build this type of anger, though? This is a vendetta.” She glanced down at the crime scene photos as a reminder.

“Exactly. Anger is expected in normal cases. Something extreme clearly had to happen to explain this type of outburst.” Personal grudge, you remembered him saying. You felt like you were airing out his secrets as you spoke. A weak sense of betrayal tugged at your guts. “I’ve been thinking about this a lot, going over what type of event could cause something like this and I think I have an idea.” You pulled out your phone while talking to call Garcia, the woman answering immediately.

“Garcia, can you look up children in the Quantico to DC area who died from complications with chronic illness? Probably late 90’s to early 2000’s, I don’t think our guy is old enough to have been running for office.”

“That’s gonna be a large list. Any more parameters you can give me?”

“Look for families making less than 20,000 a year.”

“Got it. There were three families making under 20,000 that reported losing a child of illness. One was of stage 4 cancer with no plausible recovery and the other two said they couldn’t afford the medication needed for treatment. I just sent them over.”

“You’re the best.”

“Don’t I know it.” You hung up the phone, pulling up the files she found.

“What exactly are we looking for here?” Morgan looked to you.

“We can rule out the first family. Dying of cancer wouldn’t create the effect needed for our unsub.” He looked like he was about to reiterate his question. “What we’re looking for is a sibling. If your family is struggling, you already have the seed of anger that this guy has. I think a family member dying from the lack of money might just give him the motive he needs.”

“That’s good thinking, he could be avenging someone.” Praise from Hotch always felt better than others. “The Bryson family was just the mother and the daughter who died. She worked in janitorial for the local middle school.”

“Doesn’t exactly fit the profile.” Morgan was right, all the testimonies had described a man. Plus the assumption of decent financial prosperity didn’t fit someone still working at a middle school.

“Who does that leave?” You were searching for the answer to your question, but Prentiss was quicker.

“Diana Reid and her two sons. Henry had type 1, seems like they could afford the insulin for a little while but something must have happened. He went into DKA and died a week later.”

Two sons. “What about his brother?”

“Uhhhh-” She scrolled down on her tablet. “That would be one Spencer Reid who…” She scrolled just a little bit further to find the whereabouts of the man, the hope in her eyes snuffing out with the information she read. “is dead. Says he committed suicide a couple years after his brother died.” The whole table deflated a bit as she said that.

“It was a good idea.” Hotch, despite being a monotone man, usually tried to keep things optimistic. “We’ll continue pursuing that angle. Morgan and Prentiss, I want you to go back to the first crime scene. I’ll call Dave and we’ll head to the latest.” The mentioned agents nodded their heads and started making their way out the door.

Your eyebrows furrowed at your lack of instruction. “And me, sir?”

“Go home.” He looked you over for a moment. “You look like hell.” Then he was gone, calling Rossi on his way out. How mortifying.

–

It had been three days since Hotch’s dismissal of you. You managed to get some sleep, convincing your co-workers of normalcy when you went back into the office the next day. In truth, you were anything but. You had been noticeably distracted but the others chose not to mention it until it hindered your performance, which it had yet to do. You were on a timer, counting down the seconds until your next call with him. You seemed to be endlessly tugged back and forth between excitement and pure dread. Everytime you got home, you took a moment to stare at your phone, almost like you could will him to call if you glared at it long enough. The day was just shy of a week since his last attack, and you were nervous as hell. Your phone buzzed once, then it buzzed again. He was calling.

“You’re early.” You didn’t find it fitting to greet him. You knew who it was, why be friendly? “Is there another one?”

“Relax, honey.” His voice lit a fire in you. Jesus. “I didn’t know I was only permitted one call a week.”

“What are you playing at?” You tried to sound sturdy, but your voice hit your ears with more desperation than you’d ever expressed.

“I could ask you the same.” You could hear the tilt in his words, he was so sure of what he was doing. “You didn’t tell them about us.”

“How would you know?”

“I’m not in cuffs, am I?”

“You think we’d catch you if I told them?” Was it your fault he was still free?

“No.”

“Maybe they’re listening.”

“Maybe.” He was so unbothered by the notion. You were never a good bluffer.

“It wouldn’t bother you?” You narrowed your eyes at nothing, staring at your wall as you tried to read him through the phone.

“You could bring in the whole nation, Y/n.” You listened more intently than you ever had. “It wouldn’t keep me from you.” You felt like you were choking on your own heart, feeling it beat at the confines of your throat. Jesus Christ.

“Do you know where I live?” Your lips were too weak to hold back the question. It’d been the only thing on your mind since the first note had been left on your car.

“Why?” His smile bled into his words. “Are you inviting me over?”

“Answer the question.”

“Why don’t you answer a question of mine?” He was so intentional, his MO proudly showing in the way he spoke to you. “Haywood or Clancy?”

“Are those your actual choices?” You tried to analyze him, justifying your actions with the ruse of investigation. He’d tell you more if he wasn’t monitored. “Or are you trying to throw me off your trail?” It was certainly plausible. Get you running after two men not of interest, leaving his real victim neglected by your team.

He laughed, breathy and soft. “I don’t know.” You could almost picture him tilting his head, faceless and so enticing in your imagination. “Pick one for me. Maybe I’ll do him next in your honor.”

“What do you know about honor?”

“Everything I do is about honor.” What did that mean?

“The only thing that would honor me is you turning yourself in.”

“What do you know about honor, agent?” His voice was taunting, you heard his body shift. “What do you think that team of yours would think about us, hm? Those are their words, not yours. You’re the one who’s waiting on calls from the enemy.” Shock paralyzed your tongue. You felt your head pulse with the blood rushing to your ears. “You don’t have to be guilty about wanting it, honey. You don’t fit with them.”

“As opposed to what? Fitting with you?”

He chuckled. “You’ve thought about it.”

“Nightmares, maybe.”

“That’s the angle you're going with?” He saw through you. “If you dreamt of me, I doubt they were nightmares.”

“You didn’t answer my question.”

“I don’t know where you are.” You didn’t feel relieved. “I have no interest in hurting or robbing you. Why would I want your address?.”

You slipped your hand under your shirt to trace the scar across your chest. Gift from the accident, now a nervous habit of yours. “What do you want?” God, you were a broken record.

“It doesn’t matter what I want, Y/n.” You could barely hear him over the thrum of blood in your veins. Your entire body felt tuned into his words. You’d never felt so far away while connected. “Only what I can do.”

“You take everything from them. More than just money. Clearly you lost something.” You were so sick of asking this question but you were getting farther from the answer with every conversation. “Why are you doing this?”

“They made the first move.” Jesus what did they do to this guy? “I’m not the bad guy, honey. I’m just defending my side.”

“This isn’t a game.”

“It might as well be.” He was quick with his responses. “It’s all the same to men like them.” You stayed quiet for a moment. How did you reply to something like that? “Get some sleep. It’s late.”

“Give me less crime scenes to look at and maybe I’ll sleep more.”

He smiled, you could hear it in his tone. “Every mean has an end, agent.” You held your breath, and as if gaining consciousness, you hung up the phone. You felt the brick of the encounter sit heavy in your stomach. He wasn’t lying. You were guilty, and you wanted it beyond belief.

–

You’d talked to him four more times over the past two weeks. There’d been two more victims corresponding with those calls, continuing his routine of a new one each week. Your understanding of your feelings had become less hazy as you talked to him more. Your guilt wasn’t from withholding information from your team, it was from the fact you wanted to. It stemmed from your instinctual desire to keep him to yourself. Let him exist differently in your home life than he did in your work life. It was difficult keeping something from profilers. It made you feel worse that they definitely knew something was up, but chose not to push it because they trusted you. Did this truly make you untrustworthy? You were only human.

You’d spent what was meant to be your day off at the BAU working. When there was a case like this, rest time seemed to take the backseat. You were drained, more emotionally than physically. You were lying to your friends, but truly, you didn’t know how deeply you considered them friends. They were good people, easy to like and easy to work with. You were starting to wonder if that's where it stopped, though. Everything about their company was easy, but it lacked gratification. His company was hard on you, but it was so rewarding, so filled with feeling that you started to wonder what your morals even were. You wouldn’t find them here, you thought. You certainly tried. You stared into the chipped white paint aging poorly on the brick wall of the bar as if the pigment of the words would organize your thoughts better than your malfunctioning mind could. The liquid in your glass was nearing it’s end. The drink had loosened your joints, loosened your mind. You hadn’t come here to get drunk, you were basically still sober, you just needed the warmth of a drink. There was a certain coldness within you, there had been since the accident. You accredit the feeling with driving away any potential love interests of yours. There was always a sense of being stuck, like you were interrupted in the middle of moving on, and never fully got to close the chapter. This wasn’t hard for others to sense. You were as emotionally nonreciprocal and unresponsive as a corpse.

“Mind if I join you?” A man who’d immediately caught your eye upon entrance gestured to the barstool next to you.

You motioned to it. “Please.” A casual invitation. You didn’t know how to talk to random men in bars. You took a good look at him, something subconscious stirring beneath your skin. The minimal buzz of the drink you had making you write it off, preferring the focus of his eyes on yours.

“What’s your name?” The smoothness of his voice could have rivaled the most expensive whiskey in that place.

You told him your name. He nodded, murmuring a “pretty” under his breath as he took a sip from his glass.

“I’m Matthew.”

“Pretty.” You reiterated, raising your eyebrows slightly as you joked. He chuckled, and you asked if he was new to the area.

“I’m a local, actually. I grew up here, surprisingly never been to this bar, though.”

“Really? I grew up around here too. This place is old as dust, been here forever.” You looked down, finishing the last of your drink.

“I know. I’ve wanted to come here for a while because it’s so old.” Something about him was so off putting but so irresistible. You’d never encountered such an uncomfortable concoction. It was intoxicating. “I lost the knack for drinking I had in my teen years. Back then my friends and me would just buy a 12 pack and get drunk in the field on Fromage.”

You lacked the memories to know if you related to the man, but you weren’t going to delve into why and kill the mood, so you lied. “That field used to scare the shit out of me. Everyone at my school said there were bodies out there.”

His eyes held a certain glint in them when he looked at you, his lips perked up at the edges slightly, if you hadn’t been a profiler you might have missed it. “Really?” Maybe you imagined it all, that or he caught on to you, the look leaving his eyes after lingering for a moment. The slight promise of something more sinister pulsed throughout them. The hairs on your arm were standing. “Mine said the same thing.” He smiled, looking away, shaking his head fondly as he remembered. “My school was full of dumbasses though so I never really took it seriously.” And you laughed.

You laughed a lot throughout the time you sat there with him. A few hours, you’d guess. He lowered your guard so easily, walking leisurely through the gates of you. You’d practically rolled out the red carpet for him. You wondered if he could see how easily he got in, how much you welcomed the feel of him in your veins. He didn’t seem to mind if he could. When he’d wanted to take you home, your lips parted, and you said you’d like that. You don’t really remember driving, knowing one of you did, both of you sober by the time you’d left. He’d been so gentle, so all-consuming. He’d run his thumbs along the scars he encountered, punctuating the sensation with his lips following close after. Mumbling praises against your skin and rhetorically asking “does that feel good, honey?” as your legs shook around him. He melted you down to pure liquid gold with just his touch, knowing exactly how to map you out. You’d felt him everywhere, his fingers burning their respective shadows on your skin, seeping slowly into your soul to leave marks there too. He’d felt so safe, the pure want joining the two of you together. A euphoric distraction from all the disaster you’d let befall you. He was gone before you woke up the next morning, but you saw him in your shadow, felt him in the soreness of your legs. He’d been a deviation, something put in your path to confuse you. What a brutal fucking night.

–

The same day, you’d gone to work, gone home, and then ended up back at the BAU an hour later. There had been another victim. Two days early. This was his eighth, and up until now he hadn’t strayed from his weekly pattern. This was a bad sign, if he was ramping up, who knows how many more he wanted to hit. The story had stayed the same, and that night you were arresting another board member, this time for solid ties to human trafficking. He really knew how to pick them. You’d give him that, at least.

The meeting post-arrest basically just shared what you were all thinking. He was ramping up, and you were getting no closer to catching him. Stating the obvious was doing nothing but wasting time. He was good. One of the best you’d ever seen. Nobody really knew what to do at this point. You watched their faces get more and more helpless and you felt bad. Nothing in your calls with the man would have helped you solve this case, you were almost positive. Any aspect that could have helped was one you explored.

Emily had said the name ‘Spencer Reid’ and the way your stomach lurched made you feel like you had to be onto something. You’d never had such an intense gut feeling about something only for it to be absolutely impossible. You hadn’t told them, but you looked more into him. His death was an easy one to fake. As much as you hated speculating on what could very well have been just a heartbroken boy, you couldn’t deny the theory you were building. His mother had found a suicide note, they hauled a body out of the river a month later and just assigned Spencer’s name to it, marking it down as conclusive. You weren’t convinced.

–

You got home within the hour, locking the door and pulling out your phone. You hadn’t called him before, but it was the same number every time, and you needed to talk. The phone rang so long you were almost sure he wouldn’t pick up. Almost.

“Y/n.” He greeted you. “This is new.”

“You broke your pattern.” You started with the topic at hand. “Why did you do that?”

You heard a chair squeak slightly as he leaned back. “What can I say? You being so interested gave me some extra motivation.”

“Interested?” What the fuck was he talking about? “This isn’t - I’m not fucking interested in anything. You’re a criminal.” You were slightly out of breath. When you lied to him, no matter how small the lie, air seemed to gain a disinterest in staying within your lungs.

“Mhm.” He was smug. That wasn’t a good sign. “I don’t believe that. You seemed pretty interested last night.”

He had pulled a lever, and your stomach dropped to your shoes. “That was you?” You sounded as defeated as you felt. Your eyes were watering from the pure shock, feeling the drop of the bomb shake you down to your core.

“You kept tracing that scar on your chest, you know that?” You hadn’t known that. “Almost like you could feel it.” Feel what? He didn’t elaborate. “You sounded so pretty when I touched it, when I kissed you. Been thinking about it all day.” He was breathy, sounding like he was trying to put himself back in it as he spoke.

You steadied yourself before you opened your mouth. “You lied to me.”

“I’ve never lied to you.” He sighed. “You lied to me, though.” You hadn’t imagined it. “That field used to scare you?” He laughed slightly. “You were the one who told me about it. Took me over there once to look at the moon in the back of your dad’s pickup.”

God, this was frustrating. “Who are you?” The tears were dancing the border of your eyes, begging to run down your cheeks. “I knew you?”

“You know me.” He was so sure of it. “I’m still in there. Everything is.”

You had to ask, at this point you were near certain of it. “Spencer?”

He sighed, relief intertwining with his words. “There she is.” It was such a soft delivery, the moment he took before replying had you wondering if you’d said anything at all.

What kind of situation even was this? “Is this about your brother?”

“You know, when we were younger, my mother knew the mayor. He used to babysit my brother and me when she worked nights.” His tone was humorous, bitter, like he couldn’t believe the stupidity of what he was explaining. “I listened to him promise us he would change the community when he got the time. Get us a house with more than one bedroom, get us into a school system deserving of us. He used to call me a genius.” He scoffed at the thought. “Then my mom couldn’t afford the insulin, and he let my brother die.”

You didn’t know what to say. “I’m sorry.”

“The payments wouldn’t have even made a dent in his pockets.” You could visualize him, alone in a room somewhere, that familiar crease between his eyebrows as he talked. You were going to be sick, you thought. “One man for every year my brother got to live. Seems only fair.”

“Two more to go, then?” You couldn’t identify a single thought in your head. All of them speeding past you like bullets before you could latch onto one. “Is it helping?”

“Yeah.” He sniffled, quiet and subdued. “It is.”

“I - um” A tear finally fell, breaking the dam. You wiped it away quickly, two more taking it’s place almost immediately “I have to go.”

“Y/n-” but you were gone already. You put your hand over your mouth, laughing into it slightly at the absurdity of your situation and sobbing into a moment later as you took the cold plunge into reality. You texted your parents, knowing they were asleep, asking if you could swing by when they woke up. If anyone would know something, it was them, and you had every intention of shaking them down to find out exactly how you’d known the man. You had to know. You spent the night preparing the questions you’d ask and trying to fall asleep. You were almost paralyzed with the weight of him on you. There was no getting out of it now.

–

The outside of this house always felt alien. You knew you’d grown up here, but it lacked any sense of home. You wondered as you stood out front how much Spencer had to have meant to leave more of a mark than the place you spent your first 18 years in. The sun was nearing it’s peak in the sky, it was almost noon. Your parents had texted back at eight am, worried and eager to know what was wrong, eager to see you. You’d fallen asleep barely an hour before that, waking up at eleven and quickly getting ready after seeing the text. You were scared. These were practically strangers to you, and you were betting an ungodly amount on them. That’s not fair, you thought. But honestly, nothing was fair, and you calmed your guilt with promise of filling the void in your gut. You broke your staring contest with the front door and leaned forward to knock, the thing opening almost immediately.

“Hey.” You spoke before they did. You found that being the first to talk usually decreased the amount of warmth in their greetings. “It’s good to see you guys. Thank you for having me, I know my texts were sort of alarming. I just needed to talk about something.” You held eye contact to the best of your ability. They brought out a deep feeling of shame, knowing they didn’t blame you for the distance but still being responsible for it nonetheless.

“Of course.” Your mother talked while your father looked down. “It’s good to see you too. Come in, please.” Your father broke from her side to go sit down, while your mother opened the door to usher you in. You stepped forward, nodding at her in thanks as you passed her, joining your father where he sat.

“Um…” You faced both of them as your mom took the place by his side. How did you even start this? “Well, in a case I’ve been working on, somebody came up.” You couldn’t tell them he was alive. “And he just…seemed familiar, I guess. Did I know a boy named Spencer Reid growing up?” You watched the sparks of recognition ignite in their eyes as you said the name. Your mother’s grew teary, while your father’s seemed to harden.

“Knew him?” Your mother chuckled at the thought of it being so simple. “You two were more in love than your father and I.” She rolled her eyes as she held your father’s arm, the man laughing lightly at her words.

“He was the first friend you talked about. I remember picking you up from the first day of kindergarten and listening to you rave about the boy who was ‘smarter than the teacher’.” Her tone got lighter at the end, seemingly trying to imitate the excitement of your adolescent self. “You two were always close, you know?” She seemed to remember him fondly. “When you got older, you would get so defensive if I asked after him so eventually I stopped. But I knew. I knew you two would end up together from your first playdate.” She was on the verge of tears, giggling at her own words as the stories she told surrounded her, smiling at the past.

“His family really struggled. Such a sweet kid, him and his brother both. They were over here a lot.” Your father took the role of speaker as your mother’s emotions got the better of her. “We went back and forth for a while after the accident on whether to tell you or not. It just seemed cruel to. He died the night before you got hit, and you were such a wreck we just -” He struggled to find the words. “We considered it a blessing you didn’t remember him.” Your father’s guilt was apparent, twisting his features slowly as he explained their choices. “You were so in love, sweetheart. You didn’t know who he was when you woke up and we figured, you know, what’s the point? When the only thing that could come from it was pain, it just seemed futile.”

You don’t think you blinked the entire time they were talking to you. You only knew you were crying when your vision went blurry, completely neglecting the beading of tears down your cheeks. You remembered the day your mother was talking about, seeing the children you once were illustrate the world in front of you. You could almost see his face, how it would have looked when he died, how he used to look at you. Like he was staring at the universe’s secrets, easing his hands through the veil to touch them - to touch you. You remember the feeling he gave you, something warm and distinct, reserved for the two of you only. If you could have seen yourself in the moments you shared, you’re sure you would have worn the same look in your eyes.

You started speaking, but couldn’t manage much. “Yes, yeah, you’re right.” Reassurance usually worked well. “It was a…a good call.” You had trouble with your words, remembering the feelings of him but lacking the visuals. “Do you have any pictures?” Your mother nodded in response, detaching from your dad and going to retrieve something that held the memories you sought.

“I’m-” Your dad started. “We’re sorry.”

You shook your head. Your parents were the last people who owed an apology. “It’s ok, dad. I’m glad you did it.”

“I could never myself look back at these. Thinking about what happened to them I just…I can never look at them knowing they’re gone.” Your mother re-entered the room holding a camera, dark pink and cheap. “It was meant to document your childhood, but he was around so much, it’s basically just a compilation of you guys.”

You held the thing in your hands. It was everything you wanted to happen but you couldn’t force your fingers to move. Did you even want this? He was alive, sure, but you’re certain the boy next to you in these photos would never see the light of day again. All your birthdays for thirteen years, field trips, science fairs, even just the two of you sitting together reading. It was all here. All consumable. You felt the urge to boil them down and burn your skin with the residue. Anything to keep a semblance of this life with you. You had a right to them, they were yours. Your teeth clenched at the sting of the absence. He had been yours and you couldn’t even remember. “Can I keep this?”

“Of course.” You’re sure the thoughts in your head were obvious to them, spinning like a cyclone in your eyes zoning out on the camera. “I’ve thought about giving it to you for a while now anyway.”

–

They’d made you lunch, then dinner. They told you tales of your past and you let them glance into your present. It was dark by the time you left, setting the goal to talk with them more. You walked to your car, having parked down the street, and tried to shake yourself out of the trance that house put you in. You thought you were seeing things at first, squinting slightly to focus on the chunk of passenger door that was shrouded with out of place darkness. Someone was leaning against your car. You didn’t feel defensive.

“Spencer?”

“Hey.” He pushed off the door and walked closer to you, facing you on the sidewalk. You could see him now, lit up by a streetlight. He took you in, too. Glancing at your hand and grinning. “I remember that thing.” You had forgotten you were holding the camera until now.

“Why didn’t you just tell me?”

“I don’t know, honey.” He shrugged, matching your exhaustion at the situation. “I guess I wanted to see how much you remembered.” He looked at you, his eyes just as bright as they’d been a decade ago. “How much I could make you remember.”

You sighed. God, if only it worked that way. “Do you want to-” What the fuck were you thinking? “Do you want to come over?” You’d looked through every picture on that camera. You missed him. You missed him in your space, on your bed, waiting for you at the bus stop. That knot of feeling stuck only wanted to unravel if it were his hands tugging at it. “I can drive us.”

He raised his eyebrows, surprise blending seamlessly with the undiluted hope he carried as a kid. “Ok.” He smiled, just a tiny lift at the corners of his lips. The image of that smile resting on his teenage face struck you so violently you felt it in your bones. You looked at him, starstruck. His presence was a trance of it’s own.

“Ok.” You repeated him, trying to elongate the moment. You weren’t sure when you’d be ready to look away. He’d have to move first, and he knew it, so he walked to the passenger door. You blinked, grounding yourself, and unlocked the car.

You were preparing for an awkward car ride, but clearly your subconscious was more than familiar with him, being silent with him came as second nature to you. You took the long way back to your house, trying to enjoy the comfortability as long as you could. He added an elevation to your existence that you hadn’t been aware you were lacking. You pulled into your driveway ten minutes later, parking and turning off the car.

“Did you really not know where I lived?”

“No.” He was looking out your windshield, taking in the sight of where you felt safest. “I meant what I said. I never needed to.

You walked into the house first, hearing him shut the door softly behind him. You’d been listening to see how he’d close it, not sure what it would tell you, but deeming it important regardless. He’d been nothing but respectful of your space both times he’d been here. You sat down, nodding your head to the chair near you.

He let a moment pass, waiting to see if you had something to say. You had too much to say, too much to articulate. “I want you to leave with me.”

“Spencer-”

“Don’t.” His eyes were pleading, glistening with his unique mix of hunger and control. “Don’t write me off, Y/n. Nobody would know. They’re not gonna catch me. You can quit, and we can leave.” You looked away, down towards your hands. “Don’t act like you haven’t thought about it.” It was all you’d been thinking about. Usually in dreams - obviously your mind was more up to date than you were. You were going to do it, you thought. Of course you were. You looked at him and knew you’d go anywhere he asked you to. Still, though, you had a life. One you needed time to wrap up before you could leave it. You were a federal agent, if you went missing, they’d send the entire nation to step on your heels.

“Can I think about it?

He looked at you, suppressing a smile and tilting his head slightly. “Sure, honey.” He could read you so easily. He’d known he had you from the moment he asked. “I’ve still got two more.” The burning in your stomach wasn’t a resistance to the words. It was an admiration, a feeling you could wallow in. You weren’t an opposing force to him. Had you ever been? Truly?

“What happens if I don’t go?”

His eye contact had a way of transferring, enveloping any part of you it could reach. You were testing him. “Don’t force my hand, Y/n.”

You didn’t plan on finding out what that meant.

#comet: SR #criminal minds #criminal minds fanfiction #criminal minds x reader #spencer reid #spencer reid fluff #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x y/n #spencer reid x you #x chubby reader #x fat reader #x plus size reader #spencer reid x chubby reader #spencer reid x plus size reader #spencer reid x fat reader #spencer reid fanfiction #suggestive #probably ass #im sorry for this

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hazzashouse · 10 months

Text

a/n: my first time sharing my writing with anyone. It does feel a little vulnerable and out of my confront zone. Hope you like this short piece tho!

summary: one would think that Harry would be sad about the end of his tour yet there’s something that he is definitely looking forward to.

warnings: none, just fluff

You couldn’t be more excited for tonight. Dressed up in your outfit, that you had picked out last night, you were standing now in front of one of the mirrors in Harry’s dressing room. Occasionally you could hear the crowd cheering and singing One Direction songs as they were waiting for the show to begin. The last show of the tour.

At first it was challenging for your new relationship to compromise your life in London and Harry’s tour. You didn’t know how it was gonna be but Harry did everything he could on his end to make it work. He always does.

And it did work. Whenever you could, you joined him on the tour. Exploring the cities together and watching him on stage were one of your things to do. His talent and passion for music never failed to make you smile because there was nothing better than to see your loved ones doing things they love.

You were currently reminiscing about last night when both of you want on a walk around Rome that you didn’t see Harry entering the dressing room until you felt his arms sneaking around your waist.

“Hey,” you closed your eyes, taking in the scent of his cologne. Your body relaxed under the warm embrace of your boyfriend.

“Hey beautiful,” Harry turned his head so that he could kiss you on your temple. “You look stunning,” he gave you a gentle squeeze before he pulled away and taking your hand into his own, he made you do a little twirl. “Absolutely gorgeous,” his smile grew wider when he saw that his compliments made your cheeks turn pinkish. He loved seeing you like this, especially if he was the cause of those pink tones showing up on your face.

He was just about to cup your cheeks to give you a proper kiss but you grabbed his wrists trying to stop him from doing that. “Shouldn’t you be going on stage in a few?”

Harry chuckled and proceeded with getting closer to you. “Maybe,” his voice was lower at that point as his lips were now closer to yours. “But I still have a few seconds to give my girlfriend a kiss,” your lips touched briefly, “or two,” he kissed you once again but this time he didn’t hold back. Gently taking his wrists out of your grasp, Harry placed his hands on your waist, tugging you by the belt loops so your body was now pressed against his. You wrapped your arms around his neck, deepening the kiss as your fingers weaved into his hair.

When both of you felt out of breath, Harry rested his forehead against yours. “I wanna take you out tomorrow” he said making you frown a bit in question.

“Haven’t we already agreed on going out?” You asked, you fingers still gently tracing circles on the back of his neck.

“Yes, we have,” Harry pecked your lips before pulling away to look into your eyes. “But I want to take you out on a proper date. I want to buy you flowers, pick you up from your hotel room and take you to the best Italian restaurant. I want to kiss you whenever I want to and take you out on a walk under the starry sky,” he started painting this beautiful picture in your head, making the corner of your lips lift. Harry was not only a gentleman but he was an incredible romantic guy, you loved it about him. “So? Would you make me the happiest man on earth and agree to go on a date with me?”

It didn’t take long for you to nod your head. “Of course,” you said and in a second Harry picked you up as he couldn’t contain his happiness. The truth was that Harry had been planing this day for a few weeks now. As much as he was sad about performing his last concert of this tour, he couldn’t wait to have more time to spend with you.

Part 2 coming soon

like and reblog if you liked it and follow me to not miss my future content - I will very much appreciate it! Lots of love, A.

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poeticandors · 2 years

Text

Morning Touches

Steve Harrington x F!Reader

Part 2 of the TOUCH series

Summary: After the events that occurred the previous night, you wonder just how things may have shifted between you and Steve. Turns out, things only go from there in a way you might not have expected.

WARNINGS: 18+ Content (Minors DNI), sexual language, sexual content, mutual masturbation, fingering, curse words, mentions of alcohol

A/N: Thank you all SO MUCH for all the wonderful, positive reactions to this series. You guys are amazing and I only hope that you enjoy the future parts to this story. Song is Take Me Home Tonight by Eddie Money.

GIF is not mine and belongs to @semisweetshadow

Part 1

Work was a drag. Nothing new. You were bored out of your mind all day, considering you weren’t scheduled to work with either Robin or Steve today, leaving you stuck with Keith the entire time. It also didn’t help that it was a slow morning, there were barely any customers until the late afternoon but you didn’t mind. Having all the time to shelve the videos, check on late returns, and rewind the tapes really should’ve kept your mind off of other things.

It didn’t.

Rather than stay completely focused on your tasks, your mind strayed to the events from the previous night. No matter how many times you tried to push it out of your mind, you would go right back to thinking about it.

You thought of the way you were pressed back against Steve’s broad chest while watching the lewd film. The sound of his voice echoed in your ears as he whispered those small encouragements to you, urging you to keep making yourself feel good. You could still feel the way his big hands felt as one covered your own while the other squeezed and pinched at your breast, and the brush of his lips against your cheek as he whispered against you or the way they glided against your neck as he kissed you there. The way he held you while doing all those things as you rode through your orgasm played on a constant loop in your mind.

A slight shiver travels down your back, and you shake your head as you walk to the back shelf with a stack of videos, ready to place them in their respective places. Just as you go to place one on the shelf, a hand grabs your shoulder, causing you to drop them all to the floor.

“Shit, my fault.”

You glance up, seeing Steve giving you an apologetic look. While Steve often visited you on days you were working while he was off, you honestly didn’t expect to see him here today especially after last night. Clearing your throat, you kneel down to gather up the videos.

“Here, let me help you.”

Steve moves next to you, reaching for a few of the tapes as you stack them up. You mutter a small ‘thanks’, and stand up as you go to stack them again. Steve stands as well, leaning against the shelf as he watches you closely.

“Jeez, it’s dead in here for a Friday,” Steve comments, looking around the shop.

“Oh, yeah. Keith has been working at the counter all day dealing with all the customers,” you scoff, shaking your head. “All ten of them.”

“Leaving you stuck to do the rest of the work, hm? Sounds like Keith.”

“It’s fine. Keeps me busy.”

You place the last tape on the shelf, dusting your hands off on your pants. “So, what are you doing here, Steve?”

“Came to see you, of course. Like always.” The comment makes you smile a bit.“Me? I feel special.”

“You should. What are your plans for tonight?” He asks, watching you shrug your shoulders.

“Same as yesterday, I guess.”

“Oh?” He raises a brow, a glint in his eye as he smirks. It takes you a moment to realize what the smirk is actually referring to, and your eyes widen.

“I- no, I didn’t mean… minus that… part,” you stammer, your pulse racing erratically. “I only meant–”

“I’m kidding, babe. No need to freak out,” he chuckles, stuffing his hands in his pockets as he follows you to the other side of the store. “Anyways, I’m asking because you and I are going to go to a party.”

“Are you asking me or telling me?”

“Atta girl, you’re catching on,” he grins, lightly nudging your arm with his. “Also, do you think you can drive? I plan on having a good time tonight.”

“Since I really don’t have a choice, yeah. That’s fine. How’s… seven?”

“Perfect,” he walks past to the other side of you, not once breaking eye contact, and leans close to you. The closeness of his face causes your breath to hitch slightly, and he smiles. “See ya later, babe.”

Steve soon leaves, and you watch his back as he strolls out the front of the store. You shake your head, before moving back to the counter.

As you finish up, you think about the way Steve acted when he talked to you. Besides the little jab at you, which wasn’t even truly one, he didn’t bring up what happened last night. Part of you was grateful he didn’t, you don’t think you would have been able to handle the embarrassment. But… part of you wondered if maybe he was thinking about it the way you were.

Did he think about the way you shook in his arms when you laid back against him, coming undone? Was he hearing the sounds of your moans constantly in his head? Did he relish in the feeling of your skin as he brushed his lips against you?

Sighing, you shake your head at the thoughts. Of course he wasn’t thinking about that night. In fact, you know he would never think about you in that way. Every other girl he came across, sure. But not you.

He probably never would, you guys were just friends.

After finishing up with your tasks and clocking out, you head to your car so you can drive home. You only had so much time to get ready before picking Steve up for the party, so you had to hurry. You were ready to have a good time, you normally did when you partied with Steve. The only thing you hoped for was that he wouldn’t go too crazy.

Knowing him, you should’ve seen it coming.

++++++++++

“Holy shit- that party was fuckin’ intense,” Steve claps, leaning back in the passenger seat of your car as you drive the both of you back to his house. He bobs his head along to the music playing on the radio, his sunglasses on despite how dark it already is outside.

“Yeah, it was. Can’t believe you shotgunned that beer.” You actually could believe it.

“Like a fuckin’ pro, too,” he raises his hand for a high five as you laugh softly, obliging.

The song on the radio changes, and you hear “Take Me Home Tonight” start to play through the speakers. Steve fists pumps as he turns the volume up.

“Hell yeah! I love this fuckin’ song.”

Steve was a fun drunk, you discovered that the first ever party you went with him to. Sure, there were times he would go overboard and you would have to drag him out of the house with some help, but most of the time he knew when to stop. Tonight, you were lucky he only had enough to have a good time while not having to worry about him barfing in the morning.

“I can feel you breathe! I can feel your heart beat faster!” Steve taps along to the beat on the dashboard, turning to you. “Come on, baby, sing it with me!”

“Steve–”

“Take me home tonight! I don’t want to let you go ‘til you see the light! Take me home tonight– here comes your part, babe!”

“Steve, come on–”

“Just like Ronnie sang–”

He holds his hand out as if he is holding a microphone. Rolling your eyes, you lean forward and finish the lyric.

“Be my little baby!”

Steve lets out a loud whoot, and you can’t help but laugh. The song soon ends, just as you pull up to his house, all the lights on the inside shut off. You knew that Steve’s parents weren’t home, so you didn’t have to worry about sneaking around.

Steve strode to the front door, dropping his keys in a tipsy haze as he cursed to himself, before you bent down to grab the keys. He leaned against the wall as he watched you fumble while searching for his house key. When you finally unlocked the door, you both made your way inside.

“God, I am beat,” Steve stretches his arms, and you catch a glimpse of skin right under the hem of his shirt. He turns to face you as he takes his sunglasses off, tossing them on the little table in the hallway. “Are you staying the night?”

The question was silly. Of course you were staying the night. You’ve stayed over with Steve after plenty of drunken nights. It was mostly to keep your mind at ease, since he was typically alone at home most weekends. Steve would let you sleep in his bed while he took the floor, but since then the both of you would just share the bed without questioning it. You were just sleeping, after all. Nothing more.

“Yeah, I’ll stay.”

“Then let’s go to fuckin’ bed.”

You follow him up the stairs to his bedroom, and as you do he is already ridding himself of his shirt, tossing it on the floor in front of his closet before digging through his drawer for a pair of pajama pants. Steve liked to sleep with his shirt off so it wasn’t anything new to you, seeing his naked chest and toned arms.

Steve calls out your name just as he tosses some clothes at you, which you catch in time before they can hit your face. Throwing him a playful glare, you head into his bathroom to change into the clothes. It seemed silly, considering he did see and touch your bare chest last night, but you didn’t want to make things more awkward than they needed to be.

When you come back into the bedroom, you see that Steve has already discarded his jeans for a pair of gray pajama pants, and that he is sitting on the bed waiting for you. After setting your own clothes and shoes on top of his dresser, you make your way over to him as he gives you a tipsy smile.

“Thanks for driving me back. Don’t know what I would ever do without you.”

“Yeah, yeah. Get your ass to bed, Harrington,” you ruffle his hair playfully as he gently swats your hand away.

“Hair is off limits! You know that.”

Laughing, you watch as Steve scoots over to the furthest end of his bed before you settle as well. Pulling his blue blanket up to your chest, you lie back against one of his pillows, the scent of his shampoo lingering in it.

He groans out in relief, hugging his pillow close. “God damn, it feels good to be back in bed. Started to feel a bit busy.”

“Please tell me you’re not going to barf.”

“Nah, nothing like that,” he rolls to face you, checking you over. “Comfy?”

“Very,” you hum. Steve’s bed was bigger than yours, and the mattress was softer. You very much enjoyed sleeping in his bed compared to yours at home. “I might have to steal your mattress when you’re not expecting it.”

“You could just stay here every night. Then you won’t have to,” Steve states simply, with a shrug of his shoulders. There was something in his tone and the way he looked at you that you couldn’t quite recognize, but you shook it off. You were pretty positive it was just the alcohol talking.

“Sure. Night, Steve.”

“Night, sweetheart.”

After rolling over onto your side, you face away from Steve. You try not to think about how close he is, and how you can feel the warmth of his body just a few inches away from yours. Or how his scent was surrounding you from every direction at the moment. You definitely try not to think about how his chest would feel against the bare skin of your back rather than the shirt he wore last night while he helped you reach the highest peak of pleasure you’ve ever known.

Yeah, it took you a while until you finally drifted off to sleep.

++++++++++

You’re not sure what actually caused you to wake up at that exact moment. Whether it was the light shining through the blinds or just automatically rising as you usually woke up around this time. Taking in your surroundings through a sleepy haze, it takes you a moment to remember that you were in Steve’s room; the ugly patterned wall paper being the first thing you see.

Movement next to you causes you to glance over your shoulder, and you see Steve lying next to you with his eyes still closed. For a split second, you thought that he was still sleeping, and you were about to just roll back over and go back to sleep as well. That was until you heard one of the most erotic sounds fill the room… a soft moan.

A moan, followed by the rhythmic sound of Steve pumping his dick with his hand.

Your breath hitches as you catch a glimpse of Steve’s hand moving at a steady pace underneath his blanket, and you quickly turn back over. Holy shit, holy shit… was this really happening? Was Steve really jerking off while you were in the bed right next to him? Did he forget that you were right next to him? Or did he know and just not care?

Or… was he jerking off because you were in bed next to him?

Stop that, you think. Of course that wasn’t the reason. There was probably a very good explanation for what was occurring. But, you weren’t about to find out. This was a complete invasion of boundaries. You would rather stay quiet and pretend you were still asleep until Steve was done. That was the smart thing to do, right?

Trying your best to stay very still, you shakily let out a breath and try to think about things other than what Steve was doing next to you. What would you have for breakfast? Should you maybe see if Keith needed you to work even though it was your day off? Or should you–

Your thoughts become interrupted as Steve lets out a soft groan, and you can’t help the shiver that flows throughout your body. Why was your body reacting this way? This wasn’t right, listening to your best friend jerking off while he thought you were asleep next to him.

You couldn’t help it.

The sounds emitting from Steve’s mouth were sinful. Each moan released went straight to your core, and you squeezed your thighs together in response. It wasn’t enough. No, you desperately needed to touch yourself, but you wouldn’t do so with Steve right there.

You already did once before, you argue with yourself. He was there the other night and he even helped you.

Flashes from the other night came to mind and you made the mistake of letting out a soft sigh. Horrified, you freeze and try to play off still being asleep, but hear the movements from Steve completely stop.

“Shit…”

He says your name once, his voice rough from waking up only moments ago, and you stay still. He says it a second time, and you close your eyes before slowly turning over. His cheeks look flushed, whether from the vigorous activity he was just doing or from embarrassment at the thought of possibly being caught doing said activity.

“...Morning,” you say awkwardly.

“Fuck, did I wake you?”

“I, uh… I mean… not technically? I did wake up earlier but… I’m not sure if it was from what I was hearing, or–”

Steve runs a hand down his face. “Shit, I’m sorry. I didn’t even realize you were in bed next to me until I…”

Until he heard you. He didn’t need to finish, you knew exactly what he was going to say. Rolling over onto your back, you stare at the ceiling, thinking until…

“Do you do that every morning?”

“Hm?” He looks over at you before you motion down to his covered dick. “Oh, uh… yeah. Most mornings.”

“I see,” you nod slightly, noticing the blush on his cheeks brighten a little more. You have never seen Steve this flustered before. It was kind of cute.

He clears his throat, turning his attention back to the ceiling as he brings an arm behind his head. “I didn’t mean to do that with you right here, babe. I- fuck–”

“Steve, it’s fine–”

“I promise you I didn’t remember you being in my bed. I didn’t even think–”

“Steve, relax. I don’t care.”

He sighs, turning to face you. “Are you sure? Because, like… I didn’t want to freak you out or anything.”

“I am sure, and I am not weirded out. It’s fine. Really.”

“...Okay, because–”

“I mean, you could even finish if you want to.”

Steve stares at you and a tense silence fills the room. For a moment, you wonder if you said the wrong thing. With each passing second, your anxiety begins to build and you think maybe you should just take back what you said and go home. Just as you go to speak, Steve beats you to it.

“Really? You don’t mind?”

It’s your turn to stare and pause for a moment. On one hand, you weren’t sure if this was a good idea. Sure, he watched you do the same thing the other night, but you didn’t know how this exact moment would change things between you both. On the other hand, you honestly wouldn’t mind if he pleasured himself right then and there. It was obvious that you both were very comfortable with one another.

Breathing out, you shake your head. “No. I… I don’t mind.”

“Cool,” he nods, bringing his arm down as he looks back up at the ceiling. “Cool, cool. Right.”

His arm slowly snakes under the blanket, and you watch with anticipation as it does so. But then it hits you: he might not want an audience.

“Um… I could go–”

“You can get yourself off too, if you want.”

When he turns to face you, all you can do is blink at first. Did he really say that or did you hear it wrong?

“...Huh?”

“You can… you know,” he motions along your body. “If you want to, I mean. You don’t have to. If you would rather leave, that’s fine too. I just want you to feel comfortable is all, babe.”

“Yeah… no, yeah. I understand, um…”

“I just know that you… well, you were squirming a lot. And… I heard you.”

You hold back a groan. So he did hear you. That right there should’ve been enough to make you want to leave from embarrassment alone. But you knew Steve wasn’t trying to make you feel that way at all. In fact, he just wanted you to have another chance to feel good.

With your lips pressed together, you look around until you’re back to facing Steve. The genuine look on his face tells you he is not trying to pressure you into doing anything you don’t want to. You of course already knew that, but actually seeing the sincerity in his eyes makes the choice easier.

“...Yeah, okay. I, um… I’ll stay.”

Steve gives you a small smile, before you both settle onto your backs, your arm brushing against his as you stare up at the ceiling. Safe to say, you were a little nervous. Despite Steve being there the first time you masturbated, this was different– this time he would be masturbating with you.

“...S-so, do we just…”

“Yeah, um… I guess you could just pretend I’m not here if you want? Or just– fuck it, touch yorself listening to me. Whatever you want.”

“Right, right.”

“You could take your clothes off, too. To get comfortable, I mean. Totally up to you, though.”

You pause, really thinking about whether you should or shouldn’t, when you decided fuck it, and began stripping out of the clothes you slept in underneath the blanket. After discarding them to the floor, you keep the blanket covering your chest as you look over at Steve. He watched you undress the entire time, you realized, but the only thing he did was give you a slight nod, before turning his head.

“Alright, then… have fun.”

Releasing a breath, you close your eyes as you slowly bring your hands underneath the blanket. It was so quiet in the room, you could practically hear your heartbeat. You could already feel the dampness between your legs as you shift, the obvious clue to how turned on you were earlier listening to Steve’s moans.

You roam your hands along your body as a means of relaxing yourself while also trying not to brush against Steve’s arm too much. One hand slowly makes its way down, and you push your legs apart to give yourself access to your wet pussy. A soft sigh escapes you, and you gather up your slick onto your fingers as you go back up, gradually circling around your clit.

The movement next to you lets you know that Steve has gone back to pumping his dick with his hand, and for a moment, you focus on the sounds of each of your hands doing sinful things to your bodies. You bring your other hand up to your breast, lightly squeezing and teasing your nipple as you brush your thumb along the bud.

There was no way this should be happening. You should not be lying next to your best friend naked underneath the blanket while the both of you jack off. There was no reason you should feel this turned on while listening to the way his breathing has changed because he is pleasuring himself.

But it was happening, and you were turned on. Very turned on.

Your fingers soon travel even lower, and you push one between your slick lips, just like the way Steve taught you to. It didn’t feel as uncomfortable as the first time, and was now even more pleasurable. Adding another finger, you feel the slow stretch of your cunt soon become enjoyable and move them at a steady pace. Brushing that spot each time you rocked your finger in and out of your glistening hole you sent lustful waves throughout your body.

How much time had passed? Had it only been a mere few minutes? Or had you both been there touching yourselves for a while? You weren’t sure. The only thing you were certain was that you were feeling so fucking good.

“Shit…”

Being so lost in your own euphoria, you almost forgot Steve was right next to you in his own sexual bliss. The speed of his hand pumping his hard cock increased slightly from what you could hear, and the sounds of his moans only added to your desire for eventual release.

Part of you wondered what was going on through his mind— what type of fantasies was he imagining? Was he playing out the scenes of a porno in his mind? Was he thinking about fucking someone else? Or was he thinking about you and how you were right next to him, unclothed and touching yourself?

You desperately wanted to look at Steve. You wanted to see his hand moving underneath the blanket. You could only imagine how he looked right now: cheeks flushed, his head thrown back against the pillow, and lips parted. But you weren’t sure if he would be okay with you watching him, so you kept to your own fantasy.

Moving your fingers back to your swollen clit, you begin to rub faster than you had when you initially started. That familiar hot pressure began slowly building up inside you, begging to be released, but you needed more. Touching yourself just wasn’t enough.

A thought occurred to you, and you mused at the idea that thinking about something even more sexual would help you. You try picturing the beginning of the porno movie from the other night in your mind, how you got a view of the girl’s breasts and pussy, and how she touched herself. It wasn’t enough. You try thinking about any one of your celebrity crushes, how they might feel against you, but it still wasn’t enough.

A guttural groan emits from the back of Steve’s throat, and you glance at him before stopping yourself. The sight of him was glorious. His hair was messy from sleep, and his eyes were still closed. His cheeks were pink, just as you thought they would be, and you could see how tense the muscles in his neck were as he tried biting back louder sounds. Even still, the sounds he was already making mixed with the pounding of his hand against his skin were driving you crazy.

Turning your head back and closing your eyes, you begin to imagine every possible scenario you could that involved Steve. You imagine that instead of your hands, it was his own pleasuring and touching your body. By listening to his soft moans, you imagine how much louder and filthier they would sound if his mouth was right next to your ear and if he was whispering sweet nothings instead.

I got you, baby.

God, you look so pretty like this.

Let me make you feel good.

Your mind went even further as to imagine Steve kissing every inch of you: your neck, your breasts, and even your mouth. You imagine Steve’s body over yours as he rocks his hard cock in and out of you, hard and fast.

This was what you needed. This was enough.

It was as if a tightly coiled rope snapped between the both of you, because before you knew it, not only were you finding your release, but Steve was as well. As your back arches up off the mattress, Steve’s hips buck up into his hand. Small whimpers and tight groans both fell from his mouth, while moans and whines broke past your lips– the both of you reaching your high.

Falling slack against the mattress, you let the ringing of your ears die down as you pant softly. Your arm relaxes next to you underneath the blanket, and you feel Steve bring his own down as well, his skin brushing against yours. Blinking your eyes open, your surroundings soon come to and you glance over at Steve, who you see still has his eyes closed, and a smile gracing his face.

“Wow…” He breathes out a small laugh, before he turns to look at you. His pupils were blown and god– you realized just how much you wanted to kiss his stupid face.

You keep from doing so, obviously, and find yourself pulling the blanket closer around you. Steve clears his throat, bringing one arm to rest under his head. That awkward silence returns, and you gnaw on the inside of your lip out of worry. What was he thinking about? Was he regretting what just happened?

“What are you thinking about in that pretty little head of yours?” Steve asks, breaking the silence.

“Me? Um… nothing. Just… that was–”

“Hot as hell?”

You scoff, shaking your head. It shouldn’t surprise you that Steve was still acting his normal self as if that didn’t just happen between you both. He turns onto his side, looking you over and you really wonder what is going through his mind at this moment.

“So, are you hungry?”

“Uh-”

Before you can respond, Steve is already turning away from you, tossing the blanket off of him as he reaches down over the edge of the bed, and grabs his pajama pants. You avoid him, giving him some sense of privacy before he stands up.

“I think I have eggs or some shit. I am fuckin’ starving.”

He truly was acting as if this was just any other regular morning. You didn’t know if you should be grateful about it or upset that he wouldn’t really talk more about what was happening between the two of you. The feeling settling in your chest was foreign to you, but you chose to push it deep down.

Keeping the blanket to your chest, you reach over and grab the clothes on the ground as you look up at him. Taking the hint, he quickly turns around and you begin to dress.

“So, do you want to stay for breakfast? Or… shit, I guess it would be brunch now.” He asks, placing his hands on his hips.

You were conflicted. Of course you did want to stay and spend more time with Steve. But, you also needed to think about the last few days and how, despite the lack of response from Steve, things were definitely changing between you both. Whether it was a good or bad change, and whether Steve would actually sit and talk about this, you needed to figure things out first. Time to yourself was probably the best choice so you could decide how to move forward.

“...Let’s do a raincheck on breakfast. I have to get home and do laundry, and clean the house. All that shit,” you stand up. Steve turns to face you and you wished he hadn’t, because all you wanted to do was run your hands through his messy hair and kiss those lips and– ugh. This was why you needed to leave.

“You sure? I can make pancakes, too.”

It almost sounded like he didn’t want you to leave. But if that were true, then he would be outright and say it. That was the type of person Steve was with you.

“I’m sure, Steve,” you force a small smile. “Plus, I’ll see you at work tomorrow. We’re scheduled together.”

“Right… yeah, right. Work.”

He smooths his hair back and nods, watching you gather your clothes from the night before and slip on your shoes. You meet his gaze, seeing a soft look in his eyes as he doesn’t pull away. Almost as if he is waiting for you to say or do something else.

“...Bye, Steve.”

“I’ll see you later, babe.”

Nodding your head, you walk past him, and make your way out of his house. You didn’t look back to see if he followed you or was watching out the window as you got into your car. Gripping the steering wheel, you let out a sigh. What was happening? What was this feeling in your chest? Why did you want Steve to beg you to stay or look at you in that way he did or kiss you?

Maybe it didn’t mean anything. Maybe it was only the lust talking. Steve was the one who encouraged you to explore yourself sexually without judgement. Were you just feeling something different because he has seen you in a completely different way?

That was it. It had to be. There was no other explanation as to why these feelings suddenly appeared. Maybe it was time to do more. To feel more, to go further than just self pleasure. Maybe… maybe all you needed to do was get laid.

Would Steve be willing to help you after doing so much with you already?

Finally starting your car, you begin to drive off, hoping that some time alone would give you some clarity about the situation.

++++++++++

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navybrat817 · 1 year

Text

A New Tradition

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Female Reader Summary: Bucky doesn't have any holiday traditions, but maybe he can start something new with you. Word Count: Over 2.5k Warnings: Slight angst, mention of trauma, pining, falling in love, slight feels (it's me), canon divergent, Bucky Barnes (he’s a warning, okay?). Future fluff and smut for this couple. A/N: This idea hit me and it wouldn't let go until I wrote it down. Set in the same AU as lumberjack!Steve, I hope to share more when I can. ❤️ Not beta read and written on my phone, so any and all mistakes are my own. Banner and moodboard by yours truly. Divider by the lovely @firefly-graphics. Please follow @navybrat817-sideblog for new fics and notifications. Comments, reblogs, feedback are loved and appreciated!

Bucky stared at the ceiling from the floor as he tried to fall asleep. Evergreen and spice lingered in his nostrils from the earlier festivities of the evening. One of the songs you sang over dinner played in a loop in his head, a beautiful melody of hope.

It didn't stop him from feeling as cold as the weather outside.

Random bouts of insomnia weren't new to him, but he couldn't put his finger on what his issue was tonight. It was a good day filled with happy moments thanks to you, the neighbor he harbored a crush on. He moved into the building around the same time as you after his pardon and someone delivered one of your packages to his door by mistake. Luckily you lived just across the hall and he made sure the box ended up in your hands.

He hadn’t expected a goddess in human form to answer the door.

“I got your box,” he said harsher than he intended to.

He half expected you to slam the door in his face for his tone. If you recognized him as the former Winter Soldier, you kept it to yourself. In fact, you didn’t look afraid of him at all as you took the box from his hands. He almost told you that you should be scared of him.

“Thank you so much for bringing it over,” you smiled.

It was the start of an unexpected friendship. He tried to find excuses to stop and talk to you whenever he saw you, which ended with him giving you an awkward smile in the beginning before he walked away. He used to know how to talk to girls and it was silly having a crush on a neighbor when he was trying to get his head on straight.

If only you didn’t make it so easy to want.

And you either found him endearing or entertaining since you began to invite him over for dinners.

Every other week, you’d trade off meals and talk about the day. You split your day between your job and making and selling jewelry online. The pieces you showed him were beautiful. You put so much care into them.

While he couldn’t give you all the details of his missions, he found himself more comfortable talking to you as time went on. One of the things he liked was that you always asked what he needed. If he wanted advice, you’d give it. If he wanted you to listen, you did just that. If he just wanted to talk, you chatted with ease.

You even stayed up with him after a few nightmares.

He was used to dealing with people who had agendas or messed with his head, but you didn’t play games.

Steve and Sam were both happy when he finally told them about you. After the former Captain America found his own girl and a bit of peace after everything, he hoped Bucky was on the path to doing the same. It impressed Sam that he actually talked to you instead of keeping everything inside.

It didn’t stop him from feeling like a burden some days.

“You’re always welcome at my place and you can always talk to me, Jamie.”

No one else was allowed to call him that.

When you heard he wasn’t doing anything around the holidays, you offered to make him a nice dinner since you wouldn't be around your family. They were, unfortunately, too far away for a quick visit. You joked that he had to watch a movie with you after dinner if he decided to come over. It was nice that you extended an invitation to him, especially when he didn’t have any traditions or anything else to look forward to.

Bucky had every intention of getting you the perfect present until an extended mission came up. He barely made it back in time to see you. Steve had to rush home to his girl and the same with Sam and his family. He declined both of their offers for him to join them, not wanting to impose on them or let you down by not showing up.

"You made it!" you said excitedly when you opened the door, looking as gorgeous as ever in a little black dress. He'd fantasize about you in it later. "You aren't hurt? You're okay?"

"Not a scratch," he assured you when he stopped staring.

"Good," you sighed in relief. "May I give you a hug? I missed you."

You didn't give him hugs without his permission and he appreciated your thoughtfulness that he might not want to be touched some days. He held his arms out for you as he wordlessly answered, taking a moment to cherish your embrace when you moved close. He didn't let it linger since he didn't want you to be uncomfortable.

But he wished he would've held you a bit longer.

"Missed you, too," he whispered as you led him inside.

If he read into it, he would’ve thought the setup was romantic. He felt a little underdressed in his leather jacket and jeans, but you didn't judge. You served by candlelight and you made sure to include all sorts of dishes he enjoyed. He ate and savored every bite. You even had a gift waiting for him under the tree before you started the movie.

He almost hugged the personalized apron and small book of recipes you made for him. He already had a meal in mind to make for you as a thank you for the next weekly dinner. But that wasn't all. You pulled out a small, white and black box from the back of the tree and handed it to him.

"You're spoiling me," he joked.

"I wanted to," you teased, messing with the hem of your dress as he opened the box.

He held his breath as he held up the dog tags. They were almost an exact replica of the ones around his neck, but there was a difference when he flipped one of them over. He ran his thumb over the letters as he read them out loud.

"I am James Bucky Barnes."

He explained to you once his need to make amends. That he was no longer the Winter Soldier. That he didn't have a choice. You took his words and created a gift for him.

His hands destroyed so many things while yours brought beauty into the world.

"I hope you like it," you said, still messing with your dress. A nervous habit he picked up on. "I know you wear yours, but I thought it would be nice to have those just in case."

"Thank you," he croaked, clearing his throat as he carefully placed them back in the box. "And I feel like the biggest asshole on the planet for not having your gift ready."

"You came over and spent the evening with me. That is a gift," you said with such sincerity that he wasn’t worthy of receiving.

Of course you wouldn’t take any offense that he showed up empty-handed. Why were you so kind to him? He wished there was mistletoe nearby simply to have the excuse to kiss you. He also wanted to thank you for making him feel at home.

Do I have a home anymore?

Naturally, he chose to flee when that thought became too much.

"You sure you don't want to stay?" you asked carefully as he gathered his things and got ready to leave. “We don’t have to watch the movie.”

"I should get back to my place, but thank you," was all he said.

His place, but not his home.

"Are you okay?" you asked.

"I will be," he said, not wanting to lie to you.

You nodded and thanked him for stopping by. You also told him to call or come back if he needed anything. The image of your sad smile as you walked him to the door would haunt him. He just knew it. He wondered if you’d ever invite him over again for another dinner after his abrupt departure.

He attempted to meditate once he got home, but it didn’t quiet his mind. Working out got some of the tension in his body out, but not much else. He debated going back to your place, but it was too late by then.

What the hell is wrong with me?

Bucky rubbed a hand over his face before his eyes trailed to the clock on the wall. It was almost 3am and he knew sleep wouldn't come to him. He grabbed his phone and debated calling you. He didn’t want to disturb you, but he wanted to hear your voice.

He half hoped you wouldn’t answer since you deserved a peaceful night of sleep, but he knew he wouldn’t be able to sleep himself until the two of you talked.

You answered on the second ring. “Hey, Bucky,” you said with a small yawn.

Were you up waiting for me to call or did I wake you?

“I’m sorry about tonight,” he said immediately. He had to get that out there.

“Please, don’t apologize,” you replied. He knew he should’ve let you rest. “Do you need me to listen, talk, or give advice?”

“I don’t know,” he admitted, his vibranium hand forming a fist as he took a deep breath. “You treated me to a nice night. The best night and I just,” he gritted his teeth and exhaled through his nose. “Fuck, I don’t know.”

He was at a loss because everything tonight was right and he didn’t know what was wrong. If he couldn’t pinpoint the issue, how could he know how to fix it? How could you? It was bad enough when he was alone with his own mind and nightmares, but it was another when he felt helpless.

He didn’t like that sense of control being taken away from his own thoughts.

“Do you mind if I say something?” you offered after a few more seconds of silence.

“Not at all,” he whispered, if only to hear you speak.

“I think you might be feeling a bit alone or lost,” you said. He heard a bit of shuffling around and wondered if you were trying to get comfortable. “Holidays, for many, are about being with family and friends. When was the last time you got to celebrate with your loved ones?”

“Before I went off to war,” he whispered.

He swallowed as he put his head on the pillow. Hydra made sure he never felt the happiness of this time of year. The couple of years he went into hiding after the fall, he was alone. After healing in Wakanda, he went back into the fight. The snap happened.

And his family?

They’re long gone now.

Sam, Nat, everyone had their own traditions. Steve lost so much and deserved his quiet moments outside of the city. None of them needed to rearrange their lives to accommodate him.

Holidays were a joyous time, but also a reminder of things lost and what could have been.

“Jamie,” you breathed out. “If my dinner tonight upset you in any way, I’m-”

“Don’t you dare apologize,” he stopped you, gripping his phone tighter. “It isn’t your fault my family is gone and you aren’t the cause of my pain.”

One of the reasons he respected you was because you didn’t pity him. He didn’t want you to start tonight.

“Then I need you to take back your apology because you aren’t the cause of my pain either,” you argued.

Touche.

“But I left you alone after you went to all that trouble and had those gifts made for me,” he said.

Why are you not mad at me?

“It wasn’t any trouble, but maybe it was too much or overwhelming."

“I swear, it wasn’t,” he said. How could he make you believe him? “I just have no traditions now. No special meals, movies, gifts, things to pass on, nothing."

He did just fine on his own for years, but things changed. He wouldn’t have believed he deserved happy moments before therapy and meeting you, but he did and he does. You gave him a taste of what he could have. Why couldn't he let himself take it?

"Maybe I can help you create a new tradition."

"You're done more than enough," he promised, smiling at your offer.

You've done more than you could ever know.

“I wanted to give you a special night, but I didn’t check in to see if the holiday dinner was what you really wanted. I should’ve asked, Jamie.”

“Are you kidding? Without you, I wouldn’t have even had a holiday to celebrate. It was perfect,” he promised you, standing up as he tried to gather the courage to say that you are perfect. “Did you know the only thing I wanted to do when I got back was see you?”

“Really?” you asked in a small voice. “That was the only thing you wanted?”

“Really,” he said. It wasn’t a full confession, but it was coming out. “And that’s exactly what I got, so thank you.”

“Well, to be honest, the reason I suggested a movie was so we could possibly cuddle,” you admitted.

And I fucking ruined it.

“I would’ve liked cuddling,” he said, smirking a bit. “And I really liked your dress.”

“I wore that just for you,” you said in a hushed voice, like you were trying to keep quiet. “Is there anything else about tonight that you wish would’ve been different? If you could do it all over again?”

“Honestly?” he said, not caring that he only had his boxer briefs on as he left his bedroom and headed toward the main door. “I would’ve kissed you the moment I got back from the mission.”

Even with his super soldier hearing, he had no idea you were on the other side of the door until he opened it. You still had your phone in hand as you gazed at him, no longer wearing the black dress. You switched to red and green pajamas that looked amazing on you, but he would prefer them on his floor.

“New tradition proposal,” you smiled as you stepped inside and ended the call. “We have a nice meal together, exchange gifts by the tree, and cuddle on the couch for a movie.

"Okay," he smiled, hanging up his phone, too.

"And end the night with a kiss," you said hopefully.

“I don’t think so,” he shook his head.

Your face fell when you took a step back. “Oh. I’m sorry. I should-”

He reached out to pull you back toward him, smiling when your eyes widened. “Kiss me every chance you get," he said as he removed his dog tags and put them around your neck. "Starting right now.”

You smiled just as bright as you did the first day he met you. “I think I’m going to like this tradition.”

“Me, too,” he whispered, pressing his lip against yours.

Bucky couldn’t wait to start many more traditions with you.

What other traditions would we like to see from our new couple? We have Valentine's Day!❤️ Love and thanks for reading! ❤️

Masterlist ⚓ Bucky Barnes Masterlist ⚓ Ko-Fi

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