#They are family no one can prove me wrong alr??!!

[loafyall]

"Who did this to you..?"

(CRASHES INTO PART TWO OF "I can't")

Hi!

Okay well I kinda lied that I would write the part two of "I can't" in a day but it took me three days so i apologise for making everyone who read part 1 and were waiting for part two!

I had exams going on and I'm finally free!!

---------------main story..----------------

Summary : Yanqing is found the next morning of the incident, In an abandoned street of the Aurum alley, It's time for jing yuan to find out what happened to Yanqing and jing yuan's about to kill, torture that bastard and he is planning too.

--------------------------------------------

Yanqing was never this late at coming home and reporting back to jing yuan, Well, Yanqing was always late at coming home, But it was different.

-he wasn't home at all.

It was only until morning that Jing yuan realised that Yanqing hasn't came home yet, Which obviously, Got jing yuan worried, Perhaps he's with dealing with mara-struck? Or already at the training grounds?.

--no, Yanqing would have never woken up before jing yuan, It's unlikely for him to do that.

It's probably around the time for Noon before jing yuan starts slightly panicking as he hasn't seen yanqing in such a while already, Eversince the patrol started last evening, He hasn't been home since. Perhaps he could ask madam Fu or the helm master about yanqing's whereabouts but he already knew their answer would surely be no.

There's loud knocking on the door, It's probably the knights.

And yes it was the knights, Just as jing yuan thought, Why were they here?, That's when the bad news comes in when one cloud knight finally speaks.

"General, There's something you need to see." That cloud knight respectfully speaks, His head bowed down. "It's about lieutenant yanqing." And that's where jing yuan eyes widened at the mention of his (son) retainer.

"Please, Go on." Jing yuan said, Trying his best at remaining calm, But he couldnt.

That's probably when the other cloud knight tells him, Yanqing was found in some dark abandoned street of the Aurum alley, And that's what Sushang had reported in earlier.

Now jing yuan was worried, Way worried about his retainer, he got up from his seat, As he put his own pen down in which he was signing his paperwork with.

"We'll need to go there immediately, Send a medical party there immediately, You may be dismissed." Jing yuan had said that in an authoritative tone, He was going to kill that bastard who did that horrendous thing to yanqing when he finds out who he is, He's in great trouble.

---------TIMESKIP...--------

"Tch, Can't take the whole thing in one go and had to pass out that early?." That's cloud knight said, That bastard who tried to Do the Ungodly with Yanqing, Yanqing was practically crying and aswell as shaking as he tried to cover his half naked body.

Some bruises and scars were around his hands and back, Few on his legs, His tears soaking into the ground and his clothes, Yanqing's Vision was blurry, And with pouring rain it made it all worse.

Yanqing felt like he's a worthless child who doesn't deserve happiness, The way he's been traumatized is Ungodly, There were bodily fluids, and blood was there, Which could've made Yanqing vomit, Blood was gushing out from the bruise given by that bastard, Yanqing as going to going to pass out soon because of the pressure.

Yanqing's tears didn't come to a stop as he laid there, Motionless, He was unsure of what to do, He wanted to try and get up, But that man who did this to him had him pinned down by his foot on Yanqing's stomach, It was sure that the guy would leave a few more bruises on him before feeling satisfied .

There was a loud scream coming out of yanqing's dry throat when that bastard punched Yanqing on the stomach, Yanqing was tightly gripping on his own stomach, Trying so hard not to cry as he looked at that guy.

And that scream alerted The other cloud knights who were trying to find Yanqing by Jing yuan's order.

"shit." That bastard cursed as he ran away not to be seen by the cloud knights as he put on his knight uniform and that bastard ran away, Leaving Yanqing fully finished and traumatized.

And that's where Jing yuan found Yanqing as he followed the shout.

But Jing yuan immediately came to an abrupt stop when he saw Yanqing.

Covered in bruises, His hair messed up badly, Blood almost everywhere, Yanqing's tear-soaked face as yanqing looked at him, Jing yuan sweared to Aeons that he wouldn't vomit, And then there was a dry, Crying voice coming out of Yanqing.

"G-general?.." That was the only thing yanqing said, Before he Passed out into his exhaustion.

"Yanqing!." Jing yuan couldn't think of this, This was the last thing he wanted to imagine to happen to yanqing, He quickly rushed to the boy, He removed the hair coming on his eyes.

Thank Aeons that boy had just passed out, Or there could be worse casualties than that.

"Knights!, we found him!, Get him back to the Medical institution." Jing yuan ordered as he lifted up Yanqing in his arms.

That boy barely weighed alot, He was fit and all, Although he doesn't eat alot and jing yuan who's knows how many times he has scolded him to eat and not skip his meals.

TIMESKIP

Anger was already boiling inside Jing yuan as he watched Yanqing being operated by the Alchemy commission's healer Lady, Bailu.

The question on jing yuan's head was

'Who and why did they do this to him?.'

Jing yuan litterally would litterally kill the person and make sure they go even worse in the shackling prison, Maybe Jing yuan would but the balls of the guy and choke him with his own hands and feed the remains of the bastard to Mimi.

But for now, He just had to be there for Yanqing.

Slowly, Yanqing opens his eyes, He doesn't seem scared, But more relieved as he's out of that bastard's grasp, He doesn't even realise that Bailu's talking to him.

"heyyy!! Don't ignore me!." Bailu just pouts, As she stared at Yanqing, Yanqing looks at her.

"sorry.." Yanqing sighs.

"Are you okay?." Bailu asks

"...." Yanqing isn't sure how to respond, He doesn't want to worry Bailu, So he simply states "yea, Much better than before." Yanqing just puts on a small smile, Before staring at his hand again.

"Yanqing." there was the same familiar voice, Jing yuan, His eyes were softer, As he say down beside yanqing's bed.

yanqing has the feeling to cry as he say his (father) General, He wanted to tell what that bastard did to him.

"who.. did this to you?." Jing yuan said, As he held yanqing's other hand, Yanqing gulped and looked down, Not wanting to show his tears.

"I-im sorry General, I-i didn't know how to stop him, I know, I'm too weak." Yanqing admitted as tears feel down his eyes.

Jing yuan couldn't believe what yanqing just said to him, Yanqing was never weak, He is a child, A child with ambition to be the best, But that bastard who did this to him, Needed to be punished In the worst way possible, That guy tried to take Advantage of a Child, A FREAKING 14 YEAR OLD.

"Oh yanqing.." Jing yuan sighed, As he pulled the blonde boy into a hug, "it's not your fault and it was never your fault, you're still 14, I should also be the one to blame here to sending you with that cloud knight." Jing yuan said, As yanqing cried into his arms. "Who did this to you?." Jing yuan asked, As yanqing let out a voice. "A cloud knight named.... Xiun."(Yes I made up a name.)

Now jing yuan was clearly angry and wanted to punish that bitch called Xiun, He sweared if he sees Xiun, He will murder him alive and feed his remains to Mimi, Who would be very happy to Eat the meat.

But for now

He's happy that Yanqing's alright, He needs to recover, Mentally and physically.

-------END--------

Note : OMG MY HANDS ARE ACHING LITTERALLY FOR WRITING THIS FOR 3 HOURS STRAIGHT AND I HAVEN'T EATEN ANYTHING YET

I hope you enjoyed this part!! Let me know if you want an additional part of Jing yuan ruthlessly murdering that Bastard to did that to Yanqing!!

Sorry for any grammer mistakes and all, I hope you guys liked it! (Btw part 1 is in my Blog, Go read that before you read this!!!)

[mayday-jd]

alr I lied I gotta talk about smth else quickly

• so remember when I mentioned branch's reaction to the country song when they entered lonesome flats??

yeah now let's talk about how poppy reacted

poppy hears the song then concludes that the country trolls are miserable and don't know how to have fun

and what better way to make them have fun?? force them to listen to pop music.

cough cough barb parallels COUGH

ofc that doesn't work the country trolls are appalled by their pop medley

all of them... except for hickory

I think poppy was drawn to hickory because he was the only one that seemed to along with what she had to say without any complaints basically he said what she wanted to hear so she trusted him wholeheartedly

now let's actually get into my favorite part of this movie

• I LOVE THE FUNK TROLLS HOLY FUCKING SHIT

I don't think you need a genius to figure out that these are black folks LIKE LOOK AT THEM AND LISTEN TO THE QUEEN ESSENCE

guys the vas of the royal funk family are all black. ik maybe doesn't mean anything BUT MAYBE IT DOES ALR

anyways no matter what race the funk trolls may be they still play such an important role in this movie and let me tell y'all why and how

thru their encounter with the funk trolls, our pop trolls duo (yeah biggie left) learn three important things :

- differences do matter, they're a part of our identity and it would be wrong to ignore them

- even with those differences and origins, trolls still can be multiple/different things (ex.: cooper who says that he's pop AND funk, prince d who identifies as a hip pop troll which is not on poppy's outdated ass map)

- yeah that story poppy heard from the pop trolls' perspective?? yeah no that's not how it actually happened

explained beautifully by anderson .paak's song, the pop trolls stole all the strings, used them to make their kind of music and cut out the other trolls from the music scene

in the words of prince d

"That's just the story cut out and glued by the winners"

AND YES THAT'S HISTORY FOR YA

different retellings, stories of what happened from another pov because guess which perspective you read from the history books?? the winners.

poppy hears all this and y'all idk if it's because poppy's voiced by anna kendrick but this is where all I could think about of was white saviour complex

because this girl is still all about uniting all trolls so they'll live in harmony and yes it comes from a good place but she's just not getting it and fucking hell 😭

she does get the message at the end of the movie after finally meeting barb and speaking of her....

• barb is awful and that's what makes her a great character

as we all know barb's plan is so "unite" all troll nations under the rule of hard rock which is not uniting that's just assimilation

where poppy's desire for every troll to live together in harmony all united by music, barb's comes from a sense of superiority and maybe even pity

evident by every moment she steals a string, barb comments on the other trolls' music with insults which justifies why their music isn't real music while hers is

what's funny is that barb and poppy are very similar

they both really want to prove themselves as good queens, they desire for all trolls to be united and, even if poppy won't admit it, they both see their music as superior tho that degree of superiority is very different

where the similarities end are that barb doesn't want everyone around her to say what she wants to hear, she wants ppl to be real to her, meanwhile poppy refuses to hear anyone else's voice because it's different from hers

which leads to another difference between the two, poppy learns to listen to others because

"A real queen listens." (both said by her and branch)

now let's talk about that finale shall we??

[arigatonamuse]

the re-reading continues time for:

Episode 1 - The Show Must Go On! (pt1)

CW: I will be talking about parental neglect in this (also i call Itaru names but it's all /lh i promise)

Chapter 1

Me, reading the prologue: i’ve given up on thinking about the timeline Me, in the very first chapter: what if i tried, anyway?

*Quietly converts yen to my currency* Oh whew That’s more than the money i’d need to pay off my student loans

Sakuya 🤝 me Being confused about the “tricks” comment (i was able to understand it from context later on tho)

Honestly? Good on Massu for slapping Sakyo for saying that

Izumi rationalising her being neglected as “my dad loved this troupe” and holding onto that because if it wasn’t that way then he was just a neglectful father, Yukio HAD to love the troupe because if he didn’t… then where would that put her? (Izumi, my beloved, we was still neglectful towards you, you don’t need to make excuses for him, he kinda WAS a piece of shit since before vanishing and that’s not your fault and responsibility bby)

Izumi calling Mankai, which was more or less Yukio’s favourite child, a “priceless treasure” makes me wonder… is she doing all these, at least in part, so Yukio will finally see her worth or something? Because Mankai is a priceless treasure but his family wasn’t worth his time, is this Izumi trying to show her importance to her dad too?

Damn, Izumi really has to heal from some shit, doesn’t she?

HE ABANDONED YOU, IZUMI HE HAD ABANDONED YOU SINCE BEFORE HE FLED JAPAN

Izumi wanting Sakyo to retract his statement really makes me feel like i’m onto something regarding Izumi wanting to prove her important and worth to Yukio

I should Adopt this mindset in my life tbh

Chapter 2

I really wanna recreate the dorms somehow but i’m just remembering how the map is not actually up to scale and i tried alr and it was Weird and aaaaaaaah

I love how Izumi shuts down or ignores Masumi while still being a caring adult towards him, that’s some model adult shit tbh

Sakuya’s parents ;-;

Izumi saying things about Sakuya’s parents without Knowing make my heart ache for him so much

Oh i had forgotten how much i cannot stand Sakuya’s relative from the phone call I’m feeling a bit violent at reading through her lines

I do wonder… Sakkun says he’s been crashing at his friends’ places but… how come we’ve never heard of his friends again?

Ngl now i’m wondering if the line about meeting his parents was just Massu trying to change the conversation topic away from… his family situation 

Again, tho, i love how Izumi is explicit in telling him no when it comes to those comments

She’s such a caring and generally Good Adult towards the younger members ;w;

Chapter 3

I wonder how Matsukawa’s food was bad in order for it to be salvageable through curry, bc i do know that Izumi’s a queen when it comes to making it but i doubt you can salvage like… overcooked food or just a weird food goop with it?

(I am now thinking about An’s rant about curry (i think about it often ngl))

Now that i think about it… i actually wanna listen to Izumi’s rambles about spices too, please and thank you

I would love to watch OG Harugumi’s romijuli

HAKAKU MENTION HOLY SHIT

Chapter 4

Massu and Tsuzuru questioning why actors need to exercise… meanwhile i’m having flashbacks at my hs theatre club’s “warm up” exercises including circus bs every now and then (no really, i learnt how to jump through a hoop and land in different ways)

I had forgotten Massu’s parents had their SECRETARY answer to Mankai regarding their son’s whole ass living arrangements

Izumi is so quick to point out when someone’s parents/tutors don’t care about their child and yet… *looks at her making excuses for Yukio*

Chapter 5

I love how Tsuzuru is already thinking like a storyteller even though he doesn’t have the scriptwriter role yet

That said, Tsusuru, you’re wrong, there are MANY things one can do with a limited cast, you just have to break away from the traditional theatre structure

THE HOMELESS

Same, Tsuzuru, same

DOGHOUSE

Something something Masumi's a sheltered rich kid

Note: ask An what Citron’s lines say in Japanese (idk exactly what they say but i think loc had to change them a lot based on the ham/daikon change)

IZUMI WAS ONTO HIM FROM THE FIRST MOMENT THEY MET SHE WAS ONTO HIM (and we have the seed of suspicion planted for understanding Citron’s character more in depth)

oh my god, Tsuzuru, you can't just ask someone why they're wearing a headscarf 

Citron i love you but you cannot talk about bare skin when your v neck goes that deep

“With all due respect, are you nuts?!”

The pleasure is all mine, Sir Citron (this is the part where i try and fail to convince people that i’m normal about my faves)

I feel so bad for Sakuya wrt the spinning around but also i cannot stop giggling

istg i read the way Sakuya literally stumbled on Itaru in more than one fic back in the 2010s

Itaru you fucking liar i see you

SARDINE CAN ROOMS Citron i get that you’re a prince and all but those rooms are actually pretty damn spacious 

Chapter 6

Have i mentioned that i love Citron? Bc i love Citron

Izumi’s right, Citron is very pretty and i think we need to talk about that more

This is the first time where Citron says something ridiculous, so far his grammar and vocab haven’t been anything outlandish (except for a “Manzai Company” mention last chapter) This could be proof that Citron does what he does on purpose as a mood maker, he waited for a bit, talking to the troupe more or less normally at first, before pulling this, and he does this the moment he sees people seem to be distressed (i should add this to the Citron essay)

Tsuzuru being so determined on what he wants to do makes you want to root for him so bad, i care he

Tsuzuru and Hakkaku parallels shown this early on! 

But also Tsusuru bby it’s been two days and you’re already trying to pile too many things on your plate

Izumi being so harsh with him (yet giving him this big ass chance) lowkey reminds me of Sakyo in the first chapter

“Abducted alien” something something Citron othering himself while still being "in character"

I am so emo about Izumi’s lines regarding being on stage She loved the stage so much she deserves to be kinder on herself and give herself more chances

KASUMI MENTION (no names but y'know) I am VERY curious about what the original Japanese says here Also i love that this seemed like a throwaway line back then, but now we know who it was referring to and we actually got to meet Kasumi? It means so much more now

Chapter 7

Oh Izumi you’re gonna be so disappointed

Itaru I’m onto you

ITARU I’M ONTO YOU

Dw Izumi, it’s not your fault, he took up your offer with the conditions you mentioned

“あめんぼあかいなあいうえお” -> *starts singing Citron no Tadashii Nihongo Kouza? In his head*

I love Citron so much (but also i’m onto you too y’know)

Chapter 8

Massu’s relationship with Tsuzuru has improved so much, it makes me so emo

HE WASN’T GOING TO UNI? TSUZURU PLEASE!

I’d forgotten how annoyed i was at Itaru at first but whew he sure annoys me with his disappearing, excuses, and not giving a shit outside the scheduled rehearsals

HE MADE IZUMI WORRY AND I FEEL SO BAD FOR HER

MASUMI PLEASE

I love how quick Sakuya and Citron are to care about their troupemates Idk if it is the same in the original but Citron calling Tsuzuru “my dear Tsuzuru” is actually so cute to me ;w; (I know he’s partly just being dramatic but still, it’s cute)

Chapter 9

I love how Massu just deadpans his question about if it’s a gay script

Citron, anything you wanna share with the class?

TSUZURU AND MIZUNO LORE (i’d forgotten they mentioned his inspiration this early)

Citron’s line about understanding Tsuzuru makes so much more sense knowing about his past (I wonder if he’s thinking about Guy here?) And him following the first time he opens up, ever, with a mistake is SO interesting to me it makes Tsuzuru focus on the mistake instead of Citron’s possible backstory, and his correction makes the audience follow along that path too and--

Tsuzuru’s so right to say that Sakuya represents what Harugumi stands for, he has no idea 

“No protein dayo”

Oho now we have two people onto Citron

Sakkun leader!

Tsuzuru so mean to Citron :<

ITARU GAMER REVEAL

Honestly i’d completely forgotten about how it took me some time to warm up to Itaru but i’m so excited to see that happen again now

Chapter 10

CITRON SOUNDS SO UPSET AT HIS NUMBER OF LINES I’M SORRY MY DEAR 

ITARU YOU DIRTY LIAR

Before Banri “Super Ultra Easy Mode” Settsu, there was Masumi

Sakuya is trying so hard i wanna cry from love

MASUMI PLEASE DON’T BE MEAN TO SAKKUN HE’S TRYING HIS BEST

Ngl tho i can’t be that upset at Masumi because his criticisms are right Like yeah he’s being a bit harsh and should’ve given everyone more time to feel their place with the script before making them but… he’s… not wrong Something something Masumi had a different experience with the script so he expects everyone to be similar

NOOOO SAKKUN DON’T SAY THAT

Massu that’s not what Tsuzuru said, that’s a whole new sentence

Citron to the rescue

sEE! SEE! HE MAKES MISTAKES WHEN THE MOOD IS TENSE TO LIGHTEN THE MOOD!

Itaru you bitch

Aaaaand i got to the max images i could add to one post alright see y'all in pt2

[alex-rambles]

Possible tw.

Honestly I think they use that tag to convince themselves that they aren’t supporting unhealthy and wrong things and yet their posts prove otherwise. It reminds me of ppl who are like “I’m not racist. Buuuuut..”

Also ik I’ve never seen you before but I can assure you that there’s nothing wrong with your body. Yea social media and other people might try to convince you that there is but honestly more than likely they’re just doing that because they’re insecure with their own bodies. And besides, no one is perfect. Even the most beautiful person is insecure of certain parts of their body too. Even William lololol. And since you’re young, its normal to feel this way but trust me, whenever you get older and you look back at pictures when you were the age you are now you’re going to be like “wtf?? What was I so insecure about? I literally don’t look as bad as I thought.” And I know its difficult with your dysphoria and other people but you‘ll get through this. And all the fighting and efforts will all be worth it in the end. You just need to know that you’re worthy of love regardless of how you view your body and that you do matter along with your wants and needs. And idk if you’re planning to have gender reassignment surgery in the future but if you are, ik you'll get there even if your family and others aren’t supportive of it. It’s your life afterall. You get to decide what to do with it and if that makes others unhappy, so be it. Alr I kinda sound like a boomer but yea you’ll get through this even if you don’t think you have it in you to continue. Just believe in yourself and know that you do matter regardless of what others may say.

Wow. Thank you for this post, seriously. I am really hoping that this is just a sleep deprivation thing because I've been sleeping worse and the bad thoughts tend to get worse when I don't sleep. Unfortunately it doesn't seem like it this time, as usually those just involve me looking at m3ansp0 boredly.

I actually needed this a lot, and you mentioning my beloved PIECE OF SHIT made me appreciate it more. I'll read this when I get a good night's sleep (hopefully tonight) and use it as my little positivity reminder.

Seriously you are a blessing anon I love you.

[cahmilo]

Can we get a sneek peak of ur pending requests? even just title 👀

I LOVE THIS ASK OKAY OKAY HERE

for the fics that i alr started writing:

"Doppelganger" = cami x reader, fluff

"Why is your kid so weirdly clingy?" You asked. Wiping your cheek which was filled sweat mixed with saliva from the kid that finally fell asleep. "I thought you raised them that they don't trust strangers that easily. Or did he magically warm up to me?"

"Huh?"

"Your son? The quiet one that oddly keeps climbing onto me? You asked me to babysit him yesterday"

"Y/N, he was with me the whole day."

still to be written:

"Lifeline" = cami x reader, modern au fluff

childhood friendships are beautiful, from even at a young age, to be able to relate freely to someone who understands you, to be there for them when no one else would, its a connection you would want to treasure. but what if, a new feeling blossoms out from that childhood friendship? what if, that feeling would risk everything you and your friend has built all your life for? what if... it may come to an end?

"Show them what you got" = cami x reader, fluff

in which the reader proves everyone wrong, that they shouldn't have messed with her in the first place..

"-2 Braincells" = pt.2 of Two Braincells

your so called 'plan to propose to y/n to get a free cake' backfired. now both of your fake engagement and fake pregnancy has circulated all around the internet, reaching both of your families. was a fake fiancé really worth the moist, red velvet cake? how are you going to explain it to your friends that you were starting a fake family with the man that once shoved an eraser up your nose back in middle school?

also for the songfics, not adding an excerpt cause yall probably know the songs and the plot LMAOO

"Someone Gets Hurt" = carlos x reader, angst songfic

"Still Into You" = carlos x reader x camilo, fluff songfic, modern au

[zachnovak]

Just to Recap since some morons like to make up stories STILL

So now is my yearly time for this bipolar latino guy to hop on this blog and then leave it for another year. This time, some old drama although, it seems its from a while ago.

This world class moron @wiscowrites​ and her bullshit. Personally, it took me a good 20 minutes to even remember who this person was. Think they ran a site I was on that died twice while I was on it, then got uppity when I didn’t return and requested my characters be taken down but they turned them into skeleton canons instead or something. Anyway. While this message I saw was ancient, it recently popped up on my coding help blog by one of her followers. So, why not clear the air in my zero fucks given postings here. Already vanquished my other trolls and enemies (who I didn’t even know I had let alone knew who 99% of them even were) why not continue it this year.

This claim is actually categorically false and twisted by the mob. As stated numerous times before, I hadn't stolen anything, in fact, I had my then JCINK FORUMS RP Sequence for exact three years before Raven ever created Elswood Academy. To remind you of what happened. Raven accused me of stealing coding, and aesthetic from her site. That’s all. They then went and contacted RPs my characters were on previously (total of two) One of which I hadn't been on for years at that point and the other was being trolled by a member that roleplay’s admin allegedly stole a character from as well as a member that (according to the troll *winks at sam*) was on and off staff numerous times ( the saga of my time at both those RPs and one I was on two years back can be found here  https://shenanigansandrants.tumblr.com/post/151692717913/about-the-roleplay-wotna#notes and https://zachnovak.tumblr.com/post/636528943282946048/so-i-dont-normally-log-onto-this-account-much-so )

I quickly gathered evidence showing that many of the codes I was accused of stealing were in fact codes I had been using and upgraded from my jcink RP three years before I transferred Sequence to tumblr. If I hadn't created them, I linked the codepen posts of the codes I used (codepen is a resource site free for anyone to use their codes). I then also proved many of Raven's templates were in fact stolen from Codepen and other sites that she claimed were original or 'inspired' by where the only difference in the codes was font families and various colors. Also showed that she had claimed codes that were popular on forum RPs for years were 'original work' for elswood. However, by the time I had proven that, the mob had already made up their mind about me given Raven's faked and twisted evidence. After all, I didn't think I needed to log and archive everything I transferred, where I got it originally, how I changed it from my old codes or from resource sites, etc etc. So it took me almost two weeks to gather than organize it all. However, a number of other RPHs had listened to me, looked at my evidence, and believed me, Raven then had them harassed for weeks after and openly told people not to open my posts against them. Although, they had stopped attacking my RP and me by that point (insert coincidence I think not gif). Still, I received and showed evidence of one of her former admins of a DM they had together showing me that she wanted to go after my RP to both promote their own and because they had a hate boner for me since I once called them an elitist snob. (man, lock me up!!!.....was I wrong tho?)

From alegendreborn, I was told by one of their mods that their main admin when contacted, told Raven that I had caused drama (links above explain what actually happened) and stolen their shop/points system for their RPs. Only they didn't know I had Sequence on Jcink two years before ALR was made and jcink has a shop and points system built in which I just made into a sideblog I ran when I moved Sequence to tumblr. The concept of a 'shop and cash' system to earn points and by upgrades/powers for a character based off posts might have been revolutionary on tumblr; but it was an ancient concept on jcink by that time. There was also some foolishness on the ‘look and aesthetic’ of that side blog or something. One of their staff members clearly didn’t mention they used a common and heavily used theme template just had original graphics. While I made edits to the theme itself, it was still aesthetically similar to the original design and organization the theme maker used and ALR just slightly altered. The main admin I think called Mary or something, was also really pissed off that I continued to play my character on that blog for a while as a sort of indie blog before I was told by the three members that chose to continue posting with me that they had to stop because their admin was threatening to kick them out of the RP. So I let that blog rest and years later turned it into an indie blog. One of ALR’s previous and original staff members who left for ‘personal reasons’ would later send me a submission apologizing for everything that happened during my time there, informing me that Mary and ‘Sara’ were goaded by Raven to check out every square inch of my site and find anything remotely similar then expose it as theft. No matter how vague or even if was just as both using the same font color for the same type of link and they would back them up. 

From WOTNA, raven was told that epic tale along with the staff's mistaken belief I was trolling them still a year after leaving. Along with stealing a character and a plot. However, I showed they had already 'blasted' me about that and had proven in screen shots that I had made the character I 'stole' three years before WOTNA was made, and that they had created an event right when I was making the tumblr Sequence where characters were getting number tattoos which is a major plot element of Sequence. Only, their tattoos were effectively holocaust brandings while the ones in sequence were roman numerals of various sizes, styles, etc etc. I also helped the admin there solve who their troll was and she later told me that they had indeed lied to raven about a lot of things. Raven had led them to conclusions that I was their troll and was doing this and that which made the staff come up with stories they admit to making up. Also telling me that they saw my blog for Sequence and had taken elements of it when making events and factions on WOTNA. They also publicly 'forgot' I had shown the character they accused me of stealing was in fact stolen from me but privately kept reminding each other to not mention my post about it. I was also granted access to and saved a google doc of the admins of WOTNA’s chat logs that they made in their battle against one of their former members where they openly admit to making up stories to ‘get back at me’ and deleting my asks to their main when I was wondering them on my characters being stolen. As well as asking me to return to their RP first out of despite as their admin team was having a minor civil war and then later to basically show I was ‘harassing them’ again by trying to return despite having the invite saved and even pre plotting with some of the members for when I returned.

These are the FACTS of what actually happened back then. If anyone wishes to see the evidence I have mentioned that I didn't link to feel free to DM me on tumblr, I know a couple of you stalk me still. In the end, Raven themselves has deleted this 'saga' from their defunct blog along with most of the templates I proved were stolen. Not sure if that was done because I utterly destroyed their stories, or because I threatened to sue since they were running a targeted harassment campaign and threaten to dox a MINOR. Yes, for those of you who didn't know, I was 17 years old at the time of Raven's ramblings. I was coding, running, and RPing on roleplays on jcink at the age of 13 and jumped ship to tumblr around 15 and a half. I look back on it all and just smile to be honest. I've made a living as a web designer since I was 20 and hit four digits on my income on patreon making mods for games like Sims, Skyrim, Fallout etc etc. (humble brag much?) The fact some of ya'll still think I had to steal anything then just makes me smile, nod, then forget about ya two minutes later.

I chalk it up to a lot of immature 20 something keyboard warriors going insane over someone that they just didn't like and doing whatever they could to destroy me, faking evidence, flat out lying, or just closing their eyes and screaming over anything else that went against their narrative. The facts were twisted then and were clearly twisted in people's memories to this day. However, I will also note that while EVERYONE involved in this drama has either left/been kicked out of the RPC or are now only on indie blogs under new names or running slave smut RPs, I'm still here and active. I'm on two different RPs, run an RP on both jcink and tumblr and even restarting one of my four RPs I have on tumblr here under a new roleplay name and setting while still going by Nolan. It has been entertaining seeing people still being pathetic, making up stories, and still hating on me when I don't even know any of you and haven't even interacted with 99% of the people that still get their underwear in a bunch over me. Please, move on with your lives, grow the fuck up, and stop obsessing over me everytime you finally realize I'm still around. I'll do me and you do you, if you don't like it, then press the damn block button and move on. I'm not going anywhere, I haven't done anything to warrant leaving or being harassed. The fact that people enjoy the hate for someone they know nothing of and have never spoken to speaks volumes of how privileged your lives are and how sad they are at the same time.

Admittedly, I have been no angel. I am an opinionated little shit and not afraid to voice it when asked. It tends to rub the narcissistic people the wrong way as they don't like hearing a narrative that doesn't agree with their own. When they go postal, I used to come out swinging, that I admit. I also had messaged people about joining a couple of my RPs in the past normally those their friends told me to message who were on the RP or those that popped into my 'suggested blogs' section and were on long dead or recently dead roleplays. I know some people don't like this and consider it poaching (can you poach from a dead RP though?) and I do apologize for those it rubbed the wrong way. This is a form of advertising that to this day I still see going on. If I screen cap my various active blogs I can show I get slightly more asks about joining some random RP than I get porn blogs following, reblogging, and messaging me. Some of it is done by the very person(s) that complained when I did it for my supernatural RP. I've long gotten used to the 'rules for ye but not for me' mentality that a lot of the trolls have though. It does make me laugh that Jo here called it ‘harassment’ but it doesn’t get called that when others do it and I still have dozens upon dozens of messages saved on the main of that RP of people thanking me and telling me they were looking for a new RP to join since the one their blog was tied to was dead. Ironically, I don’t have a single one that has anything negative to say about them being messaged. Unless you count “thank you so much but I’m currently taking a break from roleplaying, I’ll check you guys out in the future though.” as a negative reply.

[bangtthedoldrums]

saw jack posted that it's been 10 years since bleachers dropped iwgb (holy shit, has it really been 10 years since i started listening to bleachers?! where has all the time gone)

and by some cosmic coincidence i saw some redditor (on a non-bleachers-related subreddit) talking about their trauma response. and i've been thinking - that maybe all these outbursts and uncontrollable temper tantrums are trauma responses to some abandonment issues :/

(on that note, just as a placeholder, i would like to know how one differentiates when the inner child or inner teenager - and not me, as an adult - is acting out? how do i reason with my inner child or teenager then?)

don't get me wrong, i'm not excusing my behaviours at all but it'd make a lot of sense; and this acknowledge, acceptance, and awareness is the first step to getting better methinks. what a freeing revelation this is

i don't wna keep repeating these patterns and hurt the people i love, and someone i love the most :/ and tbh, i've been watching tv shows and sometimes i see the things i do, or the thoughts i have in these unlikeable characters. (i'm alr possessive lol) and i hate to think about the things that i could be capable of if i continue being irresponsible, self-destructive, and enable my refusal to take accountability

this is self-sabotagingly catastrophic. i can only get better and prove my commitment to change. everything else is beyond my control for now

Woke up this morning early before my family From this dream where she was trying to show me How a life can move from the darkness She said to get better So I put a bullet where I shoulda put a helmet I didn't know I was broken 'til I wanted to change I wanna get better, better, better, better I wanna get better

i wanna get better. i do. and i've got so much more to learn

[amymel86]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY @vivilove-jonsa !!! A little Vampire!Sansa and Vampire Hunter!Jon for you...

Day 1

Sansa hisses at the man who holds her captive. She cannot remember a time in which she has been so maddeningly angry.

His solemn face betrays nothing and the layers of spells cast in this little bedroom is making it hard to read the thoughts of his mind – not that Sansa ever had perfectly crystal clear clarity on that ability anyway. It was more like snatches of information, radio stations tuning in and out. Either way, what with how so vehemently enraged she is feeling right now, Sansa doubts she could read his driver’s license let alone his mind – all she sees is him... and all the ways she’s going to kill him.

Once she gets out from under these silver chains he has at her wrists.

“Let me go and I won’t hurt you,” she demands, trying not to move where she lays, arms bound above her head.

The man’s grey gaze flickers up to her bindings. “We both know that’s a lie.”

He doesn’t underestimate her then. And he knows far too much about what she is for Sansa to feel any semblance of comfort in his presence. She tugs her arms, wincing at the pain when the silver sears her skin.

“If you don’t move, it won’t hurt,” her captor offers. “That’s why I put the bandages on your wrists.” He nods his head to where she is bound.

“Oh, fuck off!” In her days as a human woman, Sansa never would have dreamt of using such profanity, but she’s heard enough modern girls using filthy language on her television box to know that it is not so frowned upon today. Besides, it felt right... for this situation at least.

Her captor raises his brow and somehow Sansa feels like this should make her blush – if she could blush.

“What do you want with me anyway?”

“I hunt your kind.”

This makes her scoff. Her left wrist moves causing the chain to come into more contact with her skin. She hisses and whimpers, trying to catch her breath. The man – the hunter – he steps into the room now, where he had been looming in the doorway. Reaching over her, he fixes the silver so that it rests securely on the bandages, saving her from further wounds. Her flesh begins to heal, to knit back together until there is barely a scar left behind to tell a story.

Her hunter is still leaning over her. She could try to surge up against her bindings, lunge at his throat. But it would hurt – it would hurt a lot. Besides, she’d still be bound to this bed.

Sansa can feel her fangs slowly protract against her better judgement.

“Vampyre hunters kill my kind.”

The man grunts and straightens. Staring at her a little while longer, his gaze begins to drop down her body before it snaps back up to her face. “How is it that you select the ones you feed on?” he asks, ignoring her statement. “And the ones you completely drain – the ones you kill – they’re all...”

He’s searching for the right label.

“Bad men,” Sansa offers, raising a brow of her own.

Her hunter snorts. “A vigilante vampire? That’s a new one on me.”

“Why don’t you let me go and I’ll show you how it works.”

His gaze is intense for a moment or two as he maps out her face before turning, leaving her with a quiet chuckle.

 Day 4

“I’m not feeding on that.”

Her captive looks down at the bag of blood he holds in his hand. “Do you want to starve?”

“Do you actually care if I starve?”

He huffs and leaves the room.

 Day 5

She is in a half state of dozing when he enters the room this time, roused by his agitated tone.

“Alright, look. Just drink the fucking blood, ok? If it’s the wrong blood group, I can get a different one, but can you just-”

“It doesn’t matter what group it is, idiot,” Sansa says, shifting on the bed, uncomfortable. “It’s of no use to me if there’s no life in it.”

“No life in it?”

She nods. “If it’s not coming from the source then I might as well be drinking red food colouring for all the good it’ll do. I need lifeblood to sustain me.” The hand holding the bag of blood slowly lowers as her captive’s jaw clenches in discomfort. “Don’t you know anything, oh mighty vampire hunter?”

“Our training centres around killing, not sustaining your kind,” he says, irritated, almost spitting those last two words.

“Then why haven’t you? Why am I still here? Why are you trying to feed me?”

“I-”

He shakes his head and leaves.

When he comes back, much later, he’s dressed in only his undergarments and his hair is wild and messy. He wears eyeglasses on his troubled face. If he was not her captor Sansa could quite easily imagine herself deciding the sight of him was quite becoming really.

But he is.

So she won’t.

“Alright, don’t try anything,” he warns, coming nearer. He looks at her, assessing. His chest is moving up and down with every breath. Reaching up behind his neck, he unclasps a silver chain that he wears, making sure she sees what he holds and the threat hanging in each link of that necklace. Wetting his lips, her hunter juts out his wrist so that it’s offered right in front of her face. “Feed,” he says, the other hand gripping the silver chain. “But don’t take too much.”

She wants to refuse but she hasn’t fed in over a month.

His skin smells like sweat and bourbon – a hint of a spicy cologne. Sansa licks at his wrist. She’s so, so hungry. Their eyes remain on each other and her captor’s lips part as she continues to lap at her chosen patch of skin.

She can smell his arousal. His undergarments are beginning to tent.

“I- what are-”

“Shhhh,” Sansa coos. “This will stop the bite from hurting and make it heal faster.” He looks mesmerised. “You know, the best way to do this is while making love. Humans say it’s euphoric. Wouldn’t it be so sweet to be completely wrapped up in one another, writhing in ecstasy? Why don’t you...” Sansa tugs slightly on the chains at her wrists, making the suggestion.

Her captor swallows and blinks. “Stop it,” he says, though his voice is quiet and hoarse. “I know how your kind like to tempt your victims so just stop it and feed.”

Sansa huffs from her nose. “Suit yourself,” she says, returning to licking at his wrist.

He hardly flinches when her fangs pierce his skin, but the moan he lets slip when she begins to suck sends tingles all over her body.

 Day 6

“Is it uncomfortable?” His eyes focus where her wrists rest above her head.

“What do you think?”

A nod of his head and he leaves. Sansa can hear his apartment door close, the lock clicking into place after him. There is no sunlight trying to streak through the blinds when he returns.

“Ok,” he says, standing beside the bed, though Sansa suspects he’s talking to himself in reality. He scratches at his head, turns to walk away only to return.

“Decided to kill me now?”

He actually does walk out of the room then, only to spin at the doorway to face her. “I should kill you. I should’ve fucking killed you a week ago. My superiors think that I have. It’s what I was ordered to do.”

“So why haven’t you?”

“I-” His hand raises to absentmindedly rub at the back of his neck. “I don’t fucking know. I just...” His mind seems to change track and he’s striding into the bedroom again. “Ok, I have this-“ he fishes an item out of his pocket and holds it out for her inspection. Sansa hisses instantly, the object making her feel queasy. He pockets it again.

“What is that?!” She’s never experience anything like it but she could barely stand to look at it.

“It’s a talisman, a seven-pointed-star with a bloodstone in the centre that’s been blessed numerous times by some holy-man in Asshai or some such shit, I don’t know. All I know is that it’s never left HQ since it arrived and it’s meant to ward off your kind.” He stands there, assessing her once more.

Fuck, her head hurt.

“Seems to me that it works,” he says. “Now, if I untie you, you shouldn’t be able to touch me so long as I have this talisman on my person, and if I hang it above a doorway, you shouldn’t be able to cross that either.”

“Just get on with it and get that fucking thing away from me!”

Her captor takes a deep breath before beginning to make quick work of her bindings. “Right, right, sorry.”

 Day 7

His stupid talisman hangs above her open prison cell doorway. Try as she may, she cannot go through.

At least she’s no longer tied to the bed.

“How long do you plan on keeping me here?”

“I don’t know. I didn’t really plan it.”

Sansa scoffs. “That’s evident.”

Her captor scowls at her over his folding computer thing.

Pacing the little room back and forth, Sansa comes to a stop as close to the open doorway as she dares. “What is your name anyway?”

His mouth twitches before he answers. “Jon,” he tells her. “Jon Snow.... and you are Alayne Stone, though you changed your name to this after you were turned. Your human name was Sansa Stark.”

Her hands had been on her hips.

They fall now.

“How do you know that?” She hasn’t heard someone say her real name in over a century. She feels light headed.

Her captor – Jon – Jon Snow – shrugs a shoulder and taps on his computer thing. I was assigned to exterminate you. I have your files. The human name wasn’t in there but I did some digging, found out what I could which lead me to a bunch of stuff about Winterfell, and then when I came across this old family photograph from a Northern genealogy site, it was easy to put two and two together.” He swivels his screen around to show her.

Their faces.

A sob leaves her throat.

 Day 8

“You really can let me go now, Jon. I won’t hurt you.”

He looks pained. “I... I want to believe you but-“

“But?”

“But I know what you are.”

Sansa feels her lip curl. Maybe she would hurt him. A little.

“Besides, as far as my superiors know, you’re already exterminated. If they catch wind that I let you go –“

“How will they know? I’ll be out of the city before anyone knows it.”

“The Organisation is everywhere, Sansa. They’ll know.”

Huffing, Sansa shakes her head. “So you’ll get a tap on the wrists and-“

“Oh it’ll be more than that-“

As if the universe was trying to prove his point, an almighty crash made Jon spring up from his place on the couch. Somehow, he had a gun already in his hand. “Rast,” he says, his jaw clenching. “If you wanted to come hang out, this isn’t the polite way of going about it. Didn’t your mother teach you any manners?”

The man who had broken down Jon’s door has an answering gun in clutched in his fist as he steps over the threshold. He grunts at Jon’s humour before laying eyes on Sansa in the doorway of his spare bedroom. A rancid grin stretches across his face. “I fucking knew it. I knew you were up to something. Old Mormont said you wouldn’t pull any tricks on us like that but I fucking knew! First I see you comin’ outta that blood bank lookin’ all shady, then the Shielding Star goes missing from HQ, then that fat piggy, Tarly says you’ve been interested in readin’ some of his old dusty books on fangers. I just knew you were up to no good and lookee here.” He flicks the barrel of his gun towards Sansa. At that, Jon starts to shift, moving to put himself between Sansa and his unwanted guest. Rast lets out a horrid chuckle. “Whatchu been doin? Fucking ‘em before you off ‘em?” Sansa hisses, her fangs jutting out sharply. Rast laughs. “Mind you, I wouldn’t mind a go on this one before you stake ‘er. She looks a feisty sort. I don’t know why I didn’t think of this myself.”

“Rast,” Jon warns.

“What’s the matter? Don’t like sharing?” he laughs darkly. “Aw, that’s too bad, Snow, it really is.”

BANG!

Jon’s body jolts back and a grunt leaves him before he falls to the ground.

“Jon!” Sansa cries.

“Looks like you won’t be having a say in it anyhow,” Rast says, grinning. He walks over and kicks Jon in the shoulder making him roll onto his back.

His shirt is rapidly getting soaked in a bloom of wet crimson. Rast puts his boot on Jon’s wrist, pinning the hand holding the gun to the floor. Jon looks over at her, wheezing and coughing up more lifeblood. She feels helpless. He’s going to die.

Turning his wrist as much as he can, Jon takes aim in her direction.

BANG!

Something shatters above the doorway to her little prison cell bedroom and as soon as Sansa can feel it – that sense of freedom - she knows he’s destroyed and dislodged that fucking talisman.

She feels alive.

Before Rast can even fucking blink she leaps onto his back and snaps his neck. His body falls like a sack of potatoes.

She’s in a state of triumph that crashes rather quickly when she hears Jon coughing and gurgling on the floor beside her. When she kneels down, she can see his life leaving, that light in his grey eyes starting to ebb away. He laughs a little though it seems to pain him. “You lot always were so fucking fast.” He struggles to swallow without spluttering. “I’m sorry, Sansa.”

“No, no, no.”

He’s gone.

“No, no, no.”

She cradles him now, feeling grief for the first time in years and years. Looking around, panicked, Sansa’s not sure what she’s looking for.

She knows what she’s going to do – even though she swore to herself she would never.

Biting down hard on the fleshy pad of her palm, Sansa squeezes and squeezes until her own blood begins to drip and dribble from the wound. She reaches for his mouth, praying to Gods she does not believe in that this will work.

Fuck, what if this does work?

Five, ten minutes pass when a wounded sounding groan comes from Jon’s throat taking Sansa by surprise. A shocked sort of laugh escapes her and she opens her wound with another bite, squeezing harder over his mouth. “Come on, moron, drink,” she says, chuckling. He begins sucking sleepily like a babe.

Lifting his bloody shirt, Sansa can see the wound on his chest mending, his new body pushing out the bullet before it completely seals over anew.

That should be enough. His body is already changing. She should leave. He’ll need to sleep for a few hours before he can fully awaken in his new form and she should get herself miles and miles away from here. Besides, that’s what happened to her when she was turned – she woke up alone and very confused.

She should go.

She really should.

Sansa strokes Jon’s hair, the bitemark on her hand now fully healed as she pulls away from his mouth.

... so what’s making her stay?

[missjosie27]

Year 3 Part 6- Tulip Karasu

Hey, guys.

New chapter is up. Sorry it took so long, I've been dealing with some highly personal stuff. It's not going to get any easier so things are going to be a bit unpredictable for awhile.

But that being said, I hope you all like the content as usual and please let me know what you think of my interpretation of Tulip!

Tonks did indeed have a plan, but it was risky, even by their group’s standards. Rowan and Ben were not at all convinced of its merit.

“Let me get this correctly. Tonks is going to pretend to be Snape and report that Peeves is messing up the Transfiguration classroom while you sneak into his office and take back your brother’s quill?” his best friend asked while they ate dinner in the Great Hall.

“Yup,” David replied, taking a bite of his steak. “Pretty much.”

“You seem entirely too unconcerned.”

He gave a nonchalant shrug.

“What choice do I have? I’d have to break into his office somehow and get it back.”

“There are many ways to get Filch to leave his office,” Rowan told him. “But impersonating a teacher is probably the most dangerous. Especially Snape. What if the real one catches you?”

“We’re doing it Friday evening,” David explained. “By that time, Snape will be brooding in his bedroom and won’t even be aware of what’s going on.”

“He could always find out later,” Ben pointed out.

“And how could they prove it was me? Mates, we got every angle of this plan covered. I promise.”

Rowan adjusted his glasses skeptically.

“I just hope Tonks knows what she’s doing. I hope you both know what you’re doing. This could go spectacularly wrong.”

“It’s the only way to find out more about my brother. I’m taking that chance, plus I owe that mean old geezer what for.”

“And what about the cursed vaults? More boggarts keep popping up everywhere. Are you still content to heed Dumbledore and your parents?”

It was the million galleon question. More than ever, David felt the pull to continue to investigate the vaults. But despite what people thought of him, he was not going to purposefully seek trouble. Family mattered more. Not the vaults. But was it time to concede the two were irrevocably linked?

“I’ll have to do a rain check on that,” he told Rowan who looked at Ben.

Neither one of them seemed reassured.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

It was quite impressive...and bit odd that Tonks knew Filch’s habits so thoroughly. David didn’t mind pointing it out to the metamorphmagus either.

“If you spent half the effort in Herbology as you do tricking Filch, you wouldn’t be spending every other Tuesday with Sprout shoveling dung.”

Tonks clutched her heart in mock offense.

“Merlin’s beard, Dave. You wound me to the quick. The art of hoodwinking this mangy caretaker is an art just as important as any academic mark.”

David snorted.

“Right, whatever you say.”

“Do you want your quill back or not?”

They were in the same corridor as Filch’s office, about thirty feet away, peeking around one of the corners. Tonks wore her usual ensemble of a ripped t-shirt, boots, gray woolen tights, and denim shorts, but she summoned a huge mess of robes from her bag and put them on. The effect was to make her look like a pint sized dementor without the hood.

“Of course.”

“Then follow my lead.”

“Where did you get the robes?”

Tonks couldn’t help but grin.

“Penny has a contact with one of the house elves. Also helps that our common room is right by the kitchen and laundry room.”

“One of these days one of you has to sneak me in there, I swear,” David said eagerly.

“All in good time,” the pink haired witch said with a wink. “For now, it’s showtime. Follow my lead, and stay hidden until Filch is out of sight.”

Without another word, she transformed into an exact replica of Professor Snape, walked promptly down the hall and knocked on the third door to the left.

The jangly, old caretaker opened it immediately, Mrs. Norris purring by his shoes.

“Professor Snape, sir! What can I do for you?”

It was evident that Filch had a great deal of respect as the man bowed as low as his aching joints would let him. David supposed it had something to do with Snape’s reputation as a harsh, no nonsense disciplinarian.

“Yes. It is I: Severus Snape. Potions Master and head of Slytherin. I have a job for you.”

Much as he hated to admit it, Tonk’s acting was atrocious compared to his own stint as the Potions Master. He slapped a hand to his forehead.

“We’re bloody doomed.”

But thankfully, Filch was no Dumbledore when it came to discerning through disguises.

“What seems to be the trouble?”

“Peeves is currently wrecking the Transfiguration classroom and I thought you were just the man to fend him off. I would have done it myself, but I have too many papers to grade.”

“Yes, sir, Professor Snape. I’ll go head him off right now. Come, Mrs. Norrus.”

The caretaker hobbled off, his beloved cat in tow. David was sure to remain plastered to the wall as he went by. When out of sight, he went back towards Tonks, who by now had returned to her normal self.

“That was quite a performance.”

“Thank you, kindly. The Transfiguration classroom is pretty far away but I reckon you still only have fifteen minutes before he realizes he’s been tricked and comes back. Search that office as quickly as you can.”

“Right. You’re amazing, Tonks,” he said sincerely to her.

“Praise me later. Go!” she urged him. “I’ll stand guard and give a signal when you have five minutes.”

Wasting no more time, David used a simple unlocking spell on the door, which opened with a small click, granting him access to its contents.

Inside was a jumbled mess of filing cabinets, papers, and notes that surrounded a heavy wooden desk. Boxes of contraband lined the walls. There was a bowl and sleeping area for the mangy cat as well as a cot for a human being. Hanging from the walls were shackles, which were the best maintained objects in the entire room. They were shiny, well oiled and ominous, as if they were being prepared for use in a seconds notice. On top of that, there was a light draft from an unknown source.

David couldn’t help but feel a twinge of pity for the man but there was little time to dwell on that. He needed to find this quill and fast.

“Filch’s office is just as cold and depressing as I imagined,” he surmised to himself.

Peering around the mass of boxes, cabinets, and contraband he gave a frustrated sigh.

“It’s going to take me forever to go through all this rubbish.”

He began looking through the drawers and various boxes, ignoring the damp smell of moth balls and cat hair. There was nothing much to report, files on various students who had attended the school many years ago, confiscated items such as fanged frisbees and nose biting tea cups. No doubt he’d been on the receiving end of many prank items.

“This is taking too much time,” he muttered.

Then David realized he’d been looking in the wrong place. Quills were small items most likely to be kept inside a desk…

Quickly, he turned around and began scrummaging through Filch’s hardwood desk and soon enough in the second drawer from the right, there it was.”

“Gotcha!” he cried out triumphantly.

Just then, there was a knock on the door indicating five minutes left. He’d made it with time to spare.

Time to get the hell out of here

He and Tonks laughed all the way back to the Gryffindor Tower where she saw him off, both surprised the plan went off without any hitches.

“He’s going to be furious tomorrow,” the pink haired witch chuckled. “Peeves was actually in the Astronomy Tower. Oops.”

“I guess it pays being a metamorphagus,” David said with a grin.

“The teachers all know, of course. I’d never try to fool one of them, but Filch is an exception. Plus, this was important to you.”

David felt his heart warm with gratitude. For as clumsy and goofy as she could be, Tonks really was a true and loyal friend. She had proved that yet again.

“Thank you.”

“Any time, mate. So what do you think this quill contains anyway?”

Rubbing his fingers on the soft, smooth edge of the feather, David only had one thought in mind.

“Something that belonged to my brother. And another key to finding him.”

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Back in the common room It didn’t take long for David and Rowan to get started in analyzing the quill. Though it was late, they were careful to stay quiet so as not to be overheard.

“This quill looks remarkably similar to the one we found on Ben during second year. Do you think it’s ‘R’ again?” Rowan asked.

R was still a mystery to them all. There had been no sign or message from the group since last year and without more evidence to go off, finding out who they were would remain unknown for the time being.

“I don’t think so. Madam Rosmerta said this quill belonged to my brother. It was on his person when the Ministry hauled him away for questioning before leaving it behind.”

“Only one way to find out,” his best friend shrugged.

Laying the quill out on one the tables, David cast the untransfiguring spell.

“Repifarage!”

Almost immediately the quill turned into a brown, leatherback notebook. On the bottom right corner was the name ‘Jacob H. Grant’.

“Whoa…”

Wasting no time, the two young Gryffindors opened it up to the first page. It contained a bevy of symbols and a language that looked suspiciously familiar.

“Ancient Aramaic,” Rowan breathed out. “The same inscription we saw in our first year and on the walls of the ice vault.”

“It’s becoming a common theme,” David said. “Can you decipher it?”

Rowan nodded as he picked up the book and studied its contents.

“I can but it’ll take me a few minutes. Not exactly easy to decipher messages in a dead language.”

“Only a few minutes?” David teased him.

Rowan blushed. “Shut up.”

Indeed, the prowess of his highly intelligent and book smart friend proved quite useful as it only took him a short amount of time to work out the message, constantly tapping the pages with his wand while muttering underneath his breath.

“Alright, I think I have the basic gist of it.”

“What does it say?”

Rowan cleared his throat but spoke in a low whisper as a few sixth year stragglers passed them by. No doubt they were returning from a party of some sort.

“‘These boggarts must have something to do with the curse protecting the next vault, which means someone found it first. If I don’t hurry, Hogwarts is doomed.’”

“History seems to be repeating itself, then,” David mused to himself.

“And look at this!” Rowan said in a hushed, excited tone. “A location of where he conducted most of his research. It’s near the greenhouses on one of the lower corridors.”

David’s heart began to race with anticipation. He hadn’t felt a sense of urgency quite like this since the previous year.

“Just like he told me last year in the ice vault. ‘Find my room, David’. We need to get into it, pronto.”

“You go find it while I take Sunday to decipher the rest of this notebook,” his best friend told him. “We can cover more ground that way.”

“Sounds good. I’ll take Bill with me. He’ll be more than happy to do more investigating into this vault. Plus, he can use his prefect status as a cover just in case a teacher comes along.”

“Tell him I said hello!”

“Rowan, we see him almost every day.”

“I know...I just...never mind.”

David smiled and shook his head. He often wondered just how far Rowan’s admiration of Bill Weasley went. But he shrugged off that thought.

It was time to find his brother’s room.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Sunday was always a lazy day, even by Hogwarts’ usual busybody standards. Most students were content to lay around, sleep in, catch up on homework, or hang out with their friends. For David Grant and Bill Weasley, however, that time was spent searching for a random room that contained possible information about a cursed vault.

“This is definitely an unexpected development, but not an unwelcome one,” Bill told him as they walked along the lower corridor. “How did you find out about your brother’s secret room, Dave? You never explained that when you asked me to come along.”

“He kept records of his search for the Cursed Vaults. Madam Rosmerta gave me a black quill at the Three Broomsticks that once belonged to him. Turns out it was a hidden notebook. Rowan deciphered one of the pages and we found the location of the room he used for his research.”

“That’s huge,” the eldest Weasley commented, clearly impressed. “I’m amazed you deciphered it so fast.”

“Thank Rowan. He’s a genius when it comes to that sort of stuff.”

“Of course. So this place is somewhere at the end of this hallway?”

“Past the greenhouses. There’s supposed to be an anonymous room with a dark wooden door.”

Bill swelled up with pride.

“Well then let’s go find it. Now that I’m a prefect, I can make sure that students are out of the corridors if we need some privacy. Plus the teachers won’t think to question us.”

“Didn’t think you’d get those kinds of perks, did ya?” David elbowed him with a grin.

“Being a prefect is something I’m truly thankful for. But I’d be lying if I said I didn’t enjoy being able to move more freely throughout the castle because of it,” Bill laughed.

Moving forward, they scoured the corridor, glancing around for any sign of their quarry. When there was no door to speak of, David had an idea.

“Let me try something.”

Visualizing an old, dark brown, wooden door, the third year Gryffindor cast a revealing charm. And sure enough, in a tiny corner packed away to the left underneath an archway of stone, one materialized.

“Blimey, David. I still can’t believe you know that spell. McGonagall says most students don’t even attempt vanishing and revealing until sixth year.”

“She says I have the chance to be a certified master in the subject before I turn 17,” he replied, trying not to brag. “I dunno, I guess I’m just naturally good at it.”

“Ever think of becoming an animagus?”

The third year Gryffindor shrugged.

“Not really. The idea of changing into a smelly animal isn’t all that appealing.”

“Fair enough,” Bill chuckled. “Now let’s check out this room.”

But they were in for a frustrating surprise. Upon closer inspection, there was a yellow padlock with two keyholes around the handle.

“Well this sucks,” David muttered.

“I’m sure we can get around it with an unlocking spell,” Bill encouraged.

David withdrew his wand and gave an ‘Alohomora’ but nothing happened, much to his chagrin.

“No good.”

“I’ll try busting it down,” the eldest Weasley said, taking out his own wand. “Flipendo!”

It did not have the intended effect. The spell ricocheted off the door narrowly missing his head and creating a scorch mark on the opposite wall.

“Guess we can cross that method off the list.”

“Must be sealed with some kind of spell beyond our means to break,” Bill surmised. “We’re going to have to find another way.”

It was then that David finally noticed something he hadn’t before: scrawled, tiny writing at the bottom of the lock.

“Look at this,” he pointed. “Property of Tulip Karasu. He looked towards Bill for clarification. “Who the hell is that?”

“I actually know of her,” the Prefect explained. “She’s a Ravenclaw in your year. Apparently, she’s always in detention. Bit of an eccentric from what I’ve heard.”

“Oh, joy,” the third year Gryffindor snarked. “Guess we have no choice but to confront the nutter, eh?”

“Either that or we’re not getting through this door.”

There was no question on what to do next. Whoever this Tulip Karasu was, they would have to somehow convince her to give them the key or enchantment to unlock the secrets inside. Another roadblock in the enigma that was fast becoming the next cursed vault.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

It didn’t take long for David and Bill to track down their desired person. Tulip was known to hang out in the Transfiguration room after school hours and it was actually Andre Egwu who pointed them in the right direction.

“Just be careful,” he told them at breakfast. “None of us really interact with her that much, but she’s weird even by Ravenclaw standards.”

“We’ll be alright, Andre,” David thanked him. “I’ve taken down an Ice Knight before. I think this shouldn’t be too hard.”

The black teen gave a knowing shrug.

“Don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

And so the two boys agreed to meet outside the Transfiguration classroom once lessons were done for the day. Ben had unfortunately landed in detention after Ismelda blew up his cauldron and laid the blame at his feet. Rowan was assisting Madam Pince in the library. Upon meeting in the corridor once more, Bill gave him an inquisitive glance.

“I forgot to ask, David. Given everything that’s going on, does this mean we’re all in on the vaults again?”

The third year couldn’t deny that finding his brother and the vaults were undeniably linked by this time. And what’s more, that inescapable, consuming drive was back. He could feel it in the very essence of his soul. He wanted to find Jacob and this vault by extension. If that meant saving the school from a few boggarts, so be it.

“Yeah,” he replied back with a reassuring look. “We’re back.”

Bill grinned.

“I was hoping you’d say that. Come on, let’s see what we can find out from this girl.”

Sure enough inside, there was a third year girl dressed in Ravenclaw colors. She was writing something on a sheet of parchment, giving no indication she was aware of any other presence in the room.

“That reminds me, how do you want to approach this?” Bill asked him.

“Ask nicely and hope she cooperates?” David whispered to the side. “She can’t be that unreasonable.”

Upon approaching the desk Tulip was sitting in, he was able to garner more of her physical features. She was fair skinned, thin, with dark brown eyes that took on a slight Asiatic quality. Long, red hair draped down past her shoulders and like Merula, took certain liberties with the uniform; her sleeves were rolled up and she wore brown oxfords, light blue socks with black tights underneath. To top it off, she also donned a necklace that looked suspiciously like a dungbomb. On the left side of the desk was a green toad which David thought was peculiar but thought nothing more of.

“Uh...excuse me? Tulip? Hi, I’m David Grant. I know your time is valuable and you’re probably very busy, but I really need your help.”

The response they received was bizarre to say the least. The Ravenclaw girl didn’t even bother to look up from her writing.

“Little flower...smells so sweet, so soft and delicate.”

David and Bill gave each other sideways glances, eyebrows raised.

“Uh...did you hear what I asked, Tulip?”

“I’m very busy. Talk to Dennis until I’m finished.”

“Who’s Dennis?” Bill asked, highly confused. He looked down at the toad in front of them, which gave a loud croak. “And what is that?”

Tulip again didn’t bother to look up from whatever she was writing.

“That’s a toad. His name is Dennis.”

Bill resisted rolling his eyes, while David had to suppress a laugh. This girl was barmy.

“We know what a toad is,” the third year Gryffindor said. “What’s that thing strapped to its back?”

It was only now that both boys noticed there was an object tied around the toad’s midsection, which looked suspiciously like…

“A dungbomb,” came the girl’s reply.

“As a prefect and a Weasley I can safely say that is the case,” Bill affirmed.

“I don’t smell anything.”

“It will when it explodes.”

Sure enough, the detonation timer was already set, a quiet ticking permeating through the odd conversation. It was only then David realized the gravity of the situation.

“Son of a...Tulip! How do I disarm this thing?”

“I can’t just give you the answers to my test. I need to know if you’re worthy of my help.”

He looked back towards Bill, panic growing on both of their faces.

“Wait a minute can you actually disarm a dungbomb?”

“If there's a method, I’m not aware of one. Fred and George set them off all the time. I’d say we only have about 10 seconds before it goes off.”

David was in no mood to be smelling the end of yesterday’s lunch and they had mere moments until the fateful explosion. Mind racing, he struggled to think of a solution.

“Wait, Bill. Use that new charm you were showing me the other day.”

“Which one?”

“The bubble head thingy.”

“You mean the bubble head charm?”

“Yes!”

Bill looked very perplexed now.

“How is that supposed to-”

By now David had cut the smelly projectile from the toad’s back and tossed it into the air.

“Cast it now!”

With precise aim, Bill understood his meaning and hit the dungbomb with a liquid blue bubble, enveloping it at the moment of detonation. Inside a greenish gas swirled about before the charm was lifted allowing the noxious air to pass harmlessly into the air.

“That was way too close,” the elder Weasley muttered.

“We didn’t disarm it but we got rid of it at least,” David offered.

“I assumed you would,” Tulip cut across them. By now she had ceased writing and looked upon both boys with great interest. “Getting rid of a dungbomb is nothing compared to breaking the curse on a Cursed Vault. I was quite jealous to be honest. I’ve always wanted to be told off in front of the entire school at the Welcoming Feast.”

“Er...right. May I ask why?” David asked, still unsure of what to make of this person.

“Because rules are made to be broken and Hogwarts has far too many rules,” came the mischievous reply with an equally mischievous smirk he felt oddly drawn to. “You inspired me David Grant. I knew I had to be the next one to open a Cursed Vault. I immediately scoured this castle for clues until I found an abandoned room that your brother used to research the vaults. To prevent anyone else from going in, I fashioned a key with two locks.”

“Well I’m flattered. But I can only assume you have the means to get inside?”

“I do but only partially. One key is in my possession. The other I agreed to give to my accomplice.”

David didn’t like where this conversation was heading. Every time he thought he had the answer to getting into his brother’s room, something else thwarted him.

“And who would this accomplice be?”

Tulip again gave him a curious, eccentric stare.

“I need to know I can trust you before I tell you that, David Grant. Meet me in the Great Hall tonight for dinner. We can chat one on one.”

David was tempted to put his foot down and just demand for the information and they key right then and there but he withheld his frustration. That kind of tactic wouldn’t work with someone like Tulip, especially since she held the key to his brother and the latest vault...quite literally. Of all the houses, he had the least amount of experience with the Ravenclaws.

It seemed as though he was about to get an education. Bill gave him a shrug as if to say ‘couldn’t hurt’.

“Alright, then. I’ll see you there.”

Tulip gave another mischievous smile in return.

“Excellent.”

[limejuicer1862]

May 1

..looks like you are drowning..

part one

looks like you are drowning & hope i am wrong. i can see the struggle the turn about in water.

i have done that too pat says that i have paid the price but i wonder

i hope you survive come clean bare your feathers.

fly high

if not i will lay a petal and think of you

as i think of the others that drowned before you that had no feathers

part two,

it looks like you are drowning again shall I jump in to save you and maybe sink myself or shall I wait to see to lay a flower at our feet

part three

maybe you are not drowning really that I made it up and you are dancing like the others

while people die and we lay flowers in memoriam corona

part four

you are floating maybe; I did that for hours went spongy, now face reality and I still think that you are drowning like the others.

-sonja benskin mesher

concrete reasoning

gray day: i am out for a walk when a sidewalk camellia begs myriad questions:

runaway bride?

garden club mishap? rejected proposal? hothouse runaway? centerpiece rebel?

confronted by the unexplained, the human drive to make order from chaos is relentless.

whatever the story, the end is the same: beauty appears and we can only wonder …

with a schedule to keep and no answers at hand i press onward, feeling the inner bloom of nascent gratitude.

-Rich Follett

MF 1

*

Every time I find clay in the garden, beneath a rosebush, say, I find slate too. This is just something I have noticed over the course of a year. It is not necessary to mention these things, especially now, I suppose. I am not happy unless I’m pouring something – tomato feed. I am Philip Levine’s Burial Rights, I recall Bei Dao. These days, I feel the trick to a good carpark, to feel anything, is my proximity to this flower arrangement.

JK 1

*

A story of three fish might be fish bones in a field for birds. Koi feeding, koi feed in a garden centre, at the next junction. Fish bent back over backwards, in blue paint. Scattered to the water’s edge a handful of dirt, to a handful of colour, blue scales at the centre of the field, a water mark, a stone left unturned.

-Alex Mazey

The Life of Petals

We use flowers to mark occasions– Weddings and funerals. The petals linger only briefly, But the sentiment still hangs Heavy in the air, years after Like pollen That settled over and over again On our patio table and chairs, All those long Midwestern summers When heat robbed our lungs of breath. And Wildflowers, not cut-storebought ones, marked a different time, Of an everyday type. Now, cut flowers feel gluttonous to me. And petals bless us with The gentleness of how life ought to be.

https://thewombwellrainbow.files.wordpress.com/2020/05/petals.m4a

-st

Utopia Burning

Warnings ignored from many a social self appointed warlord Echoes of dissident discord striking a high-pitched off key note As hungry flames lick and lash causing an apocalyptic molten urban and suburban foretold mess Whispered by familiar oracles their verbal miracles documenting their fiery cautionary chronicles Of systems slowly imploding temperaments exploding fake veneers and smiles exfoliating as ignorant masses squawk for a helping hand from those witnessing their demise and burning squirming shedding acid tears for Utopia burning…

https://thewombwellrainbow.files.wordpress.com/2020/04/utopia-burning-mp3.mp3

© Don Beukes

Still Silent

No sound, water jelly flat, so still it hurts my ears. Even sun slides silently into autumn’s metal light.

All jamboree, clang and din now far away in time. Even breath is offensive here, in case of ripple and slapping rocks.

I cannot read or turn a page lest a mumble or paper scrape, escape and shatter the loch. Like a breaking glass to a rousing cheer, as all that knowledge gets out.

So I stare at reflections in late day waters reliable quiet, but maybe their heat is not that hot.

https://thewombwellrainbow.files.wordpress.com/2020/04/still-silent.m4a

©️ Dai Fry 30th April 2020.

The sweet flower’s heart Wilting on the cold, hard slab My love’s final gift

-Carrie Ann Golden

Camellia

You lay beautiful and gasping alone on Tithonian stone. A sudden fall from grace, petal broken angel: forage for sweeper winds.

Transient as summer days. Temperate these forevers soon fade to winter grey. Dog-day memories cannot abide short-day cold.

What are you, I wonder? A love certified in Bacchus’s dance or a loved one certified and boxed in tears and brown ale.

https://thewombwellrainbow.files.wordpress.com/2020/04/camellia.m4a

©️ Dai Fry 30th March 2020.

The giant fish takes back the myth

The morning before she was to become a story the sea was baited quiet, the kind that silks

all desire down to swish. To decide to leap from one cool world to another just for breakfast

is to bare your colours to the scaling knife of the wind, and she did – her fireback beacon launched

for the brief protein of flying legs. How often we fail to see that dark hull waiting, we beasts so full up

with the rush of living for our risks. And the shape of the poised hero held no meaning, to a fish

but oh the shimmerhook, like all the moons her eye’s nightcoin had ever purchased

from deep beneath the water, and there is the lust, the swish- -and want. The glowworm crescent to silver her belly.

We all want to shine in fullness. Only heroes are given names in these stories.

For her need she was translated into an island, and I am running the delicate gasp of her jaws

in the shape of this coast, forever straining for the hook and still called only fish

even with all we have made of her. Every time I desire to transcend my quiet water, I forget the heroes

and leap from her skin, and hope that landing empty

but with one eye fixed on the moon every night after this will be enough.

-Ankh Spice

Beheaded Camelia’s

delicate red petals last longer on the less travelled path. Flash of disappearing red lace, paper thin survival. Unbroken in bright sunlight, bright on grey stone. Destruction stays at home to avoid destruction.

The red wing is allowed space to revolve reflect in water. “Temporary” like the word “soon”, a duration undecided.

-Paul Brookes

Bios and Links

-Alex Mazey

(b.1991) received his MA (distinction) from Keele University in 2017. He later won The Roy Fisher Prize for Poetry with his debut pamphlet, ‘Bread and Salt’ (Flarestack, TBA). He was also the recipient of a Creative Future Writers’ Award in 2019. His poetry has featured regularly in anthologies and literary press magazines, most notably in The London Magazine. His collection of essays, ‘Living in Disneyland’, will be available from Broken Sleep Books in October 2020. Alex spent 2018 as a resident of The People’s Republic of China, where he taught the English Language in a school run by the Ministry of Education. His writing has been described as ‘wry and knowing,’ with ‘an edge that tears rather than cuts or deals blows.’

Twitter: @AlexzanderMazey

Instagram: alexmazey

Here is my interview of Alex:

https://thewombwellrainbow.com/2018/12/18/wombwell-rainbow-interviews-alex-mazey/

-Rich Follett

is a High School English and Creative Writing teacher who has been writing poems and songs for more than forty years. His poems have been featured in numerous online and print journals, including BlazeVox, The Montucky Review, Paraphilia, Leaf Garden Press and the late Felino Soriano’s CounterExample Poetics, for which he was a featured artist. Three volumes of poetry, Responsorials (with Constance Stadler), Silence, Inhabited, and Human &c. are available through NeoPoiesis Press (www.neopoiesispress.com.)

As a singer-songwriter, Rich has released five albums of independent contemporary folk music. His latest. Somewhere in the Stars, is available at http://www.richfollett.com. He lives with his wife Mary Ruth Alred Follett in the Shenandoah Valley of Virginia, where he also pursues his interests as a professional actor, playwright, and director.

-Ankh Spice

is a sea-obsessed poet from Aotearoa (NZ). His poetry has appeared in a wide range of international publications and has twice been nominated for the Pushcart Prize. He truly believes that words have the power to change the place we’re in, and you’ll find him doing his best to prove it on

Twitter: @SeaGoatScreams or on Facebook: @AnkhSpiceSeaGoatScreamsPoetry

-Carrie Ann Golden

is a deafblind writer from the mystical Adirondack Mountains now living on a farmstead in northeastern North Dakota. She writes dark fiction and poetry. Her work has been published in places like Piker Press, Edify Fiction, Doll Hospital Journal, The Hungry Chimera, GFT Press, Asylum Ink, and Visual Verse.

-Anjum Wasir Dar

Born in Srinagar (Indian occupied Kashmir) in 1949. My family opted for and migrated to Pakistan after the (1947)Partition of India. Educated in St Anne’s Presentation Convent Rawalpindi.Graduated with Distinction in English Lang. & Literature in 1968 from the Punjab University. Won the All Round Best Student Cup.1968. Obtained a Masters Degree in English Literature/American Studies Punjab University P.G. Diploma in TEFL from Allama Iqbal Open University Islamabad and a CPE from Cambridge University UK (LSE British Council)1991 Developing Educators in Pakistan Training Course sponsored by IFC & Bradford University 1999.Bronze Medal Poet of Merit Award by International Society of Poets & http://Poetry.com USA 2000 7 Times Winner NANOWRIMO, (National Novel Writing Month) Adventure Novel ‘ The Adventures of the Multi Colored Lead People’ in the printing process. Educator Writer since 1990 Editor College Magazine Creative Writer English at Channel 7 Pvt Ltd Islamabad.National Education Award Winner 1998 for Research & Publications.

-sonja benskin mesher

born , Bournemouth.

now

lives and works in North Wales as an independent artist

‘i am a multidisciplinary artist, crafting paint, charcoal, words and whatever comes to hand, to explain ideas and issues

words have not come easily. I draw on experience, remember and write. speak of a small life’.

Elected as a member of the Royal Cambrian Academy and the United Artists Society The work has been in solo exhibitions through Wales and England, and in selected and solo worldwide. Much of the work is now in both private, and public collections, and has been featured in several television documentaries, radio programmes and magazines.

Here is my interview of sonja benskin mesher:

https://thewombwellrainbow.com/2018/10/16/wombwell-rainbow-interviews-sonja-benskin-mesher/

-Samantha Terrell

is an American poet whose work emphasizes emotional integrity and social justice. She is the author of several eBooks including, Learning from Pompeii, Coffee for Neanderthals, Disgracing Lady Justice and others, available on smashwords.com and its affiliates.Chapbook: Ebola (West Chester University Poetry Center, 2014)

Website: poetrybysamantha.weebly.com Twitter: @honestypoetry

Here is my 2020 interview of her:

https://thewombwellrainbow.com/2020/04/08/wombwell-rainbow-interviews-samantha-terrell/

-Don Beukes

is a South African and British writer. He is the author of ‘The Salamander Chronicles’ (CTU) and ‘Icarus Rising-Volume 1’ (ABP), an ekphrastic collection. He taught English and Geography in both South Africa and the UK. His poetry has been anthologized in numerous collections and translated into Afrikaans, Persian, French and Albanian. He was nominated by Roxana Nastase, editor of Scarlet Leaf Review for the ‘Best of the Net’ in 2017 as well as the Pushcart Poetry Prize (USA) in 2016. He was published in his first SA Anthology ‘In Pursuit of Poetic Perfection’ in 2018 (Libbo Publishers) and his second ‘Cape Sounds’ in 2019 (Gavin Joachims Publishing). He is also an amateur photographer and his debut Photographic publication appeared in Spirit Fire Review in June 2019. His new book, ‘Sic Transit Gloria Mundi’/Thus Passes the Glory of this World’ is due to be published by Concrete Mist Press.

Here is my interview of Don Beukes:

https://thewombwellrainbow.com/2019/11/02/wombwell-rainbow-interviews-don-beukes/

-Dai-Fry

is an x social worker and a present poet. Image is all but flow is good too. So many interesting things… Published in Black bough Poetry, Re-Side, The Hellebore, The Pangolin Review. He will not stop.

Twitter                  @thnargg

Web.                       seekingthedarklight.co.uk

Audio/Visual.       @IntPoetryCircle #InternationalPoetryCircle Twitter #TopTweetTuesday

-Paul Brookes

is a shop asst. Lives in a cat house full of teddy bears. His chapbooks include The Fabulous Invention Of Barnsley, (Dearne Community Arts, 1993). The Headpoke and Firewedding (Alien Buddha Press, 2017), A World Where and She Needs That Edge (Nixes Mate Press, 2017, 2018) The Spermbot Blues (OpPRESS, 2017), Port Of Souls (Alien Buddha Press, 2018), Please Take Change (Cyberwit.net, 2018), Stubborn Sod, with Marcel Herms (artist) (Alien Buddha Press, 2019), As Folk Over Yonder ( Afterworld Books, 2019). Forthcoming Khoshhali with Hiva Moazed (artist), Our Ghost’s Holiday (Final book of threesome “A Pagan’s Year”) . He is a contributing writer of Literati Magazine and Editor of Wombwell Rainbow Interviews.

-Mary Frances

is an artist and writer based in the UK. She takes a few photos every day, for inspiration and to use in her work. The images for this project were all taken in the last two years on walks during in the month of May. Her words and images have been published by Penteract Press, Metambesen, Ice Floe Press, Burning House Press, Inside the Outside, Luvina Rivista Literaria, and Lone Women in Flashes of Wilderness. Twitter: @maryfrancesness

-James Knight

is an experimental poet and digital artist. His books include Void Voices (Hesterglock Press) and Self Portrait by Night (Sampson Low). His visual poems have been published in several places, including the Penteract Press anthology Reflections and Temporary Spaces (Pamenar Press). Chimera, a book of visual poems, is due from Penteract Press in July 2020.

Website: thebirdking.com.

Twitter: @badbadpoet

Here is my interview of James Knight:

https://thewombwellrainbow.com/2019/01/06/wombwell-rainbow-interviews-james-knight/

Welcome to a special ekphrastic challenge for May. Artworks from Mary Frances, James Knight and Sue Harpham will be the inspiration for writers, Alex Mazey, Ankh Spice, Anjum Wasim Dar, James Knight, Samantha Terrell, Dai Fry, Carrie Ann Golden, sonja menskin mesher, Rich Follett, Don Beukes and myself. May 1st. May 1 ..looks like you are drowning.. part one looks like you are drowning & hope i am wrong.

[j-mats]

J mat 16

Id want to be the son of the king who fucks up the empire n go down as the idiot with 500 children

4 kids teamworking tothrow a huge s

Comedian or death

Working with a guy whos one broken window from a suicide. Window breaks n reacts instantly n jumps out

Midget episode

Humans in snow is a lqte game strategy

Þegar enemy *runs away in fear* þegar þu ert last hit er literallly amen

Create website to help people who are overweight and respond to shaming in a way that motivates them.

Wich is better advice

Go on a diet and hit the gym. Or keep getting fatter until you die

I forgot i have continue. Being on stage after i tell that joke

Id go out with the best trans girl. Yes i know its not a competition relax. Its just that me and everyone else views at as a competition.

Like robot fights are a real possibility in the future

Robot fights. And the usa robot. And all the americans are just cumming in the audience just fucking *wiggling in seats* just a nationorgasm.

I feel like im so wierd but i dont care atallllhah

Things you never realized. A talking donkey is worth 10 silver if u can prove it

We just come from the people who survived long enough to have a baby.. not that impressive

Will there ever be a time ppl will stop saying life is hard. Bed stat

If it works it works. Thats the code for the malebrain....<->

I was one of the babies who pissed in the doctors face. That must be a shitty job like on paper its ypu get to be there when a new life enters this world. But its probably like "YO bobby its your fucking turn i took the last two" "fuck hes right it is my turn. Then you have to listen to fucking screams and vaginas opening and fucking blood everywhere and now theres fucking crying too and then the baby pisses in your face likee fuuuuuuuuck. But if youre in china u can just throw it if its a girl

"Some women hv never experienced orgasm" thats crazyy i had like 5000 orgasms... by the time i was 14

For the sex that talks less about our problems we have less issues about our problems. Were cool with problems. "Bro im traumatized by my childhood" o shit bro lets go ---

When i saw my stretch marks i was like "o shit i got like scars here how did i get those thats coo" n moved on w my life. Then i found out like ppl are insecure about that

I die i leave i live again

Id vape in his cum infested room and say "ahh look out hos cum is airborne" then hed do it t me then i actually ejaculeted into the air then we stopped being friends after that dno why

Have you guys seen harry potter. Remember when there was just some guy in the chest

Its nice you dont have to think about what ur gona do after death

If youre the only one walking(skating) with a vape you know ypure the idiot of the group.

When u wake up gain a passive boner effect

Skate walking* gaur þegar eg er buin að riða konnuni þunni og er að hlaupa i burtu með nærbuxunar niðri

Aquaman. Aqua. Waterman. Thats who hias name is. Waterman whata bitch

In middleschool i went to some school trip to a theater and the actor didnt have underwear on. And i looked at the teachers face and it confirmed it

Working in gardening for 2years and walkin in the garden and appreciate their work(i know thr guys who did it

"Damn my boys did a good job"

I took an iq test n it said i have 62

Humans have all traits of behavior... aggresive .

Testing nuclear bombs is funny

O shit theres 200people at my age in this house"

Heres porn so ypu can get ha- "im alre

ady hard " o okay whats your secret? "Im always hard" ......... must get wierd at .. family dinner "it does get weird" wt bout aftr se- "still hard"

)next guy comes in "who the fk are you the jerk off bouncer?

)turns out jerk off bouncer is homeless n nt a real job

2 reactions to bees slap runn other.. relax youre not the only one whos about the bees.. over there thinking "yOurr not sssbpusoe to hurt bees ok?"

First time you tried eating while taking a shit. This is wrong

Walle delusional robot making buildings out of trash. Harraser.

You see one shitty person and you assume thats the whole generationþ

[thedayitallstarted]

Shookethhh

And just when I think it was coincidental enough to see my senior & reminisce the secondary school days (o it felt good- like SUPER THROWBACK) when I was outside talking to Jeslyn i saw Czech’s oldest bro 😱😱😱 I shook but like okay then we started talking and stuffs then he ask if I’m ok, how I am, how are things between us and I was like “oh u know?? Oh he told u?” Then he was like “no la so Long never see u come of course know smth wrong Ma” then he was like “cfm Brandan fault right, cfm” then I’m like “no legit, it takes both hands to clap ah.. one of the reason is rlly my fault that I keep imposing my expectations on him” etc etc then he sat down then we had like a deep deep convo. Told him the reason why czech and I ended, like how he feel not good enough etc because of himself and other people and me. Then he said like “aiya if it’s me I also will feel the same; esp u know my studies not that good, I will feel not good enough for my girl also” (smth like that) then I went along and said like “but sometimes it doesn’t matter also mah, just be confident and secure in who u are I’m sure girls will like that” then he sudd went on to say “although brandan and I never talk about this ah but I’m sure we feel the same always needing some achievement to prove to our dad then he will be happy” then he said like his family is like that, like when he in flying club & in OCS, he can tell his dad v happy although never say anything but when he drop out cause of his eye infection then he say like can tell his dad damn unhappy lor like disappointed.. so he said like that’s them growing up, they feel the pressure to have that cert or smth to prove then they can feel good enough... then I was like ohh.. :( then I went on and say smth like Wah I hope y’all will talk it out tgt like brothers and be close sia. Then I say like I got keep telling czech that I wish I could communicate more with his Bros which lucky I can talk to u butt I abit sad cannot communicate with his second bro lor.. then Czech’s Brother was like “cfm cannot one, we won’t one” then I was like ya la understand cause guy mah hard to h2h and stuff but I feel it’s damn impt sia :( esp for the future and all but he keep saying “cannot one la cannot”

Then he got ask me about Bangkok and I was like shook also like “oh u know also?” Then he said “yaa laa my mum got talk about it” or smth like that then I went along and kept asking like how is czech, is he okay, how’s he at home, got different anot or anyth then Czech’s bro was like “aiya if we can fight just bfr I left house just now, he should be fine la” then he say don’t worry about him alr just focus on yourself and continue to do what u love like baking. Then he said like that time he and the gf broke up he also like stop gg training and all but after awhile he realise that he shouldn’t skip what he like to do ah so that’s when he went back & continued and use that as an outlet to relieve stress. Or smth like that then just continue on abit then he ask me to take care and hopes I’m doing okay & I said like I hope he can talk to czech to see if he okay and stuff also ahh like if he need anyone or smth..

But I’m shooketh like good talk good talk? First time actually talking this much to him and even having h2h??? I was just wowed like what r the odds but wow I wish I could just text czech now and tell him all bout this.. but nvmnla I just hope the bro will tell him instead..

[peelingtheskinoffmyface]

Don’t be a Crybaby!

Themes within popular music very rarely venture outside of the ‘soppy love song’ and the generic ‘lets party’, However floating somewhere in-between are bands and artists trying to break out of musical stereotypes and amongst the few is none other than twenty-one year old ‘The Voice’ contestant, Melanie Martinez and her debut album ‘Cry Baby’. Martinez is a unique artist whose concept at first glance appears innocent, however, Rolling Stone Magazine described her album as, ‘Twisted lullabies about love, danger and madness.’ The themes of the album when put under a microscope, are that of adolescence laced with the poison of serious adult issues. Upon the release of this album, Martinez produced a ‘picture storybook’ to be sold alongside the physical copy that relates and explains the songs from a childish ‘Dr. Suess’ point of view, complete with annoyingly patronising cliche rhymes which, in my opinion was a completely unnecessary selling point.

The order of the songs within the album are that of a very specific nature, the album and storybook begins with the first song titled Crybaby. Like the majority of her songs, Crybaby is brimming with the sound of toxic ‘toy’ instruments topped with a heavy beat helping to push her raspy youthful voice to the forefront, whilst singing lyrics that are based around twisted teenage naïveté which  pushes me to draw nostalgia from my own childhood, which is a pleasant aspect of her music. Melanie Martinez’s approach to her music is very much reflecting within her videos, the videos play the role of the storybook in a further visual sense, almost like a film. In the beginning of the Crybaby video, it shows the birth of the character (quite literally) which symbolises in a way, the birth of the entire album. Her videos and metaphors are very melodramatic which seems unnecessarily exaggerated and excessive as if she is trying to prove her dedication to this concept to her fans. As I described the videos before, they play out and come together like a film that describes the life of Crybaby, with Melanie Martinez pushing to be as edgy and ‘original’ as possible with her selling points, of course she had to release videos that stood out or were a little different. When a ‘Soap/Training Wheels Double Feature’ appeared on YouTube, I was shocked to see how far this artist was willing to go to push a concept, however I may diminish her efforts, her dedication and faith that lies with this alter ego is to be applauded. In my opinion Billboard Magazine couldn’t have described this dedication in a better way; ‘Cry Baby shows that Martinez is ­admirably ambitious, but her insistence on sticking to the album's central idea leaves her contorting into uncomfortable positions.’ Her persistence and dedication to this character, sends her on a spiral staircase through twisted, sinister themes perhaps approached the wrong way.

The next chapter of the story, paints the image of a family who appear to be picture perfect, however, behind closed doors all is not as it seems. The desperation for ‘Crybabies’ voice to be heard about her alcoholic mother, her cheating father and drug addicted brother is very real, real to the point, that me as a listener can feel empathy and you can’t help but relate to. Everybody has heard of or experienced issues that relate to alcoholism, unfaithfulness or drug abuse. As I described before, Martinez’s lyrics are a giant risk and the themes she grasps hold of are dangerous. I can’t help but think that as a debut album for this artist or any artist for that matter, lyrics that surround such dark themes shouldn’t have been touched. When an artist is breaking into the world, should they really strive for such a corrupted image, especially since Martinez approaches them with such fierce teenage angst, stop trying so hard to be a rebel and act your age. The song Sippy Cup is the first song on the album that insinuates anything sexual (apart from the fact she uses the word ‘sex’ multiple times) and with the concept of this album it sounds like these words shouldn’t be used at all, almost as if you heard a toddler on the street swearing, It doesn’t sound appropriate, with this being said, it distracts slightly from the true meaning of the song.

The first time I heard a song by this artist was when FX released the fourth season of the TV show ‘American Horror Story’ which season was about a ‘freak show’, the song released alongside this season was Melanie’s song ‘Carousel’. Carousel is a love song that tells the story of Crybaby falling in love but going ‘round and round’ in continuous circles. With references to the series with name dropping the actual show name ‘freak show’ and the famous magician ‘Houdini’, it is almost as if this song was never meant for this album. To me personally it feels like it doesn’t fit, put it this way, the song was written for the TV Show, then when not enough material had been written for the Crybaby album, the label in a way ‘thrown’ this song on as a last resort.

If there’s one thing Melanie Martinez isn’t short on, it’s ideas, however, this artist strives so much for originality yet, within the song ‘Pity Party’, Martinez has sampled music from Lesley Gore’s ‘It’s My Party’. She is an artist who has tried literally everything in her power to sell as much merchandise as possible by trying to be original, from the storybook and necklaces to the vinyl records and cassette tapes… Yes, you heard me right people, this album is available on cassette tape. With all these ‘extravagant’ selling points, she still felt the need to essential copy.. oops, sorry.. sample somebody else’s music. Apart from the sampling of this song, it’s a catchy single, and probably one of my favourite songs on the album as it isn’t about sex, adult issues or love, just a kids birthday party with nobody attending, which I’m pretty sure everybody has experienced before.

Alphabet Boy is one of the tracks on the album I can honestly say I enjoyed and everybody can enjoy. It begins with a rhythmic baby style babbling, however, this is very cleverly done as it also represents the phonetic alphabet. This song centers around Crybaby being interested in a boy who thinks he’s too clever to be with her as she is essentially just a ‘baby’, so she graciously tells him to ‘fuck off’. However, as clever as I think this song is like previously mentioned, when Melanie Martinez swears whilst holding this facade, it sounds inappropriate, if she wants a naive adolescent image, swearing in what is essentially the most innocent song on the album doesn't really make sense.

And then just when I thought the exaggerated selling points had been exhausted, along came another double feature film like music video. This one was titled ‘Tag, You’re It/Milk & Cookies Double Feature’, which following on from the other song titles, refer to something much more innocent but when truly focused on the lyrics they reveal something far more sinister which make me question well and truly if this was a smart move for Martinez. As spin.com says, ‘the double feature transforms them [the two songs] into a two-part story about Martinez’s devious, doll-like character and a big bad wolf in an ice-cream truck.I well and truly understand why these two songs have been connected in this film like way, they tell a story in two parts. The first ‘chapter’ of the story (Tag You’re It) sounds like the harmless nostalgic game we’re all familiar with, however, with lyrics like ‘Rolling down your tinted window, driving next to me real slow.’ it reveals a far more twisted meaning. The topic of child abduction and sexual assault is a giant risk and should be approached very warily, the way the lyrics and the meaning intertwine it’s almost mocking the seriousness of these issues. I fully understand the approach and by now we all fully understand that you’re dedicated to keeping up with this alter-ego, the lyrics are from the ‘big bad wolfs’ perspective and how abducting this little girl is nothing but a game, but tackling this issue in such a juvenile way and comparing something of such seriousness with a game of ‘tag’ wasn’t a smart move. I’m all for raising awareness of serious issues and congratulations to let people know you support the victims, but don’t mock them just to sell a couple of albums. In the first half of the double feature, we’re introduced the character of the Big Bad Wolf who later on abducts Crybaby just like a wolf on the prowl. As if, the sadistic nature of the song wasn’t enough, the video is just the cherry on top of the cake, with scenes of the wolf sleazily waving at a school bus full of children and Crybaby being picked up, taken and placed in the back of the wolfs van, how refreshing. The second ‘chapter’ entitled Milk & Cookies continues the story of the abduction and how Crybaby escapes from the wolf by poisoning him with her ‘Milk & Cookies’, well, however, the themes may be toxic, this song cleverly counts from one to twelve as it progresses, almost as if she’s attempting to play a game of ‘What Time Is It Mister Wolf’ and leaving us in anticipation, waiting for the big ‘dinner time’ moment, which doesn’t seem to arrive (Such a missed opportunity). It is said that these two songs are what affect Crybaby substantially, they make her truly realise how insane she is and teaches her how to embrace it…Finally, a metaphor that I agree with and can get on board with. When an event that impacts you greatly, it can change you as a person and that is exactly what is being exhibited here. Crybaby gets abducted and sexually assaulted and when she escapes from the big bad wolf, she’s a changed person, almost as if she developed psychosis.

Once Crybaby goes through her ‘character development’ then comes along the song ‘Pacify Her’, which is the first song that takes place after her incident, She explores the territory of mind games within relationships and decides she’ll go for a person who is already taken. I’ve got to hand to Martinez, all the songs in this album are very well linked and make sense as a collective but also alone, the story that plays out during ‘Pacify Her’ takes on a ‘father-like-daughter’ mentality, flashback to ‘Dollhouse’ and ‘Mom, please wake up, Dad’s with a slut’ where her father was caught cheating on his wife, and now Crybaby herself is theoretically ‘the other woman’. This is perhaps the one thing that makes me believe she slipped up on keeping up with her alter-ego, a child of the age she’s trying to play would never be in this situation and singing about it in this way doesn’t really make sense.

As i mentioned before the ‘Tag You’re It/Milk & Cookies Double feature’ is the trigger for Crybaby to realise how crazy she is and finally accepting it, the song ‘Mad Hatter’ is truly the song that reflects and prove my suspicions on Crybaby’s psychosis. This song lies in the world of Alice and Wonderland and the weird and wonderful happenings that happen. My favourite lyric of the entire album rests in the midst of this song, ‘Getting drunk with the blue caterpillar’, not for the metaphor, not for the relation to the alter-ego but purely because of the quirkiness. This song makes you ‘curiouser’ as to what goes on inside this characters head, truthfully, which I like. This song is very much the most innocently un-innocent, Its adolescent nature towards Alice in Wonderland is twisted, which I enjoy very much. Well played Martinez, turning something so naive into a twisted fairytale.

Finally, here comes my favourite song from Crybaby, and that is ‘Mrs. Potato Head’. I genuinely think naming a song about plastic surgery, ‘Mrs. Potato Head’ is very clever. Plastic surgery is one of the themes that’s expressed within this album that doesn’t make you take a step back and question the artists motives. I believe the link between real life and this alternate reality is very intelligent. It says, if you fall in love with somebody and they want you to change, will they love you even if you change, or are you essentially changing for nothing? It also raises awareness to the young adult audience, that plastic surgery is not something that should be messed with and is risky. The build up to the chorus has the words ‘Baby soft skin turns into leather’, which I always admire, it’s addressing a younger audience and how growing up is a real and natural thing and it happens to everybody. The terminology used within this song is also very clever with words like ‘cut and paste’ is easily relatable to the younger audience making me wonder if the message has well and truly gotten through to people.

Overall, as much as it seems that I have hated on Martinez’s work, I admire her. I admire her courage and bravery to approach such tender topics in such a heinous way. Her adolescence and naivety is what makes this album what it is. I may have defeated her efforts as an artist, but I do enjoy her album, but in my personal opinion, I believe that this album is a good album, however I disagree with this being an artist’s debut album, this shouldn’t be the image and themes that an upcoming artist should introduce to the world. With all due respect Miss. Martinez, you did good, very good, but perhaps not good enough.

Blogs Mentioned: http://www.spin.com/2016/08/melanie-martinez-tag-youre-it-milk-and-cookies-video/ http://www.billboard.com/articles/review/6671140/melanie-martinez-cry-baby-album-review http://www.rollingstone.com/music/lists/10-new-artists-you-need-to-know-september-2015-20150925/melanie-martinez-20150925