#Things are bleak‚ but they are not hopeless. You are not alone. You don't have to make large steps or be a major player of even be a big

[hadesknockedupintheunderworld]

Hey, I don't normally make my own posts about this, but.

Do not argue with an anti on their own terms.

Don't get me wrong, I get it. You see the hypocrisy. You see the way they take aim at your favorite ships or characters or tropes while enjoying something similar. And you think "if I can point out to them just how hypocritical and idiotic they look right now, everyone will see our argument, they'll see that the anti is wrong and a hypocrite, and then maybe more people will stop harassing the people who like my thing. Maybe the anti will see the light and stop being a hypocrite."

But it will not work. It will not work.

There is an extremely high chance one of two things will occur:

They will double down on their argument, and ignore what you've said. (Ex. They might say "This relationship has an age gap. That's p3dophi1ia. That's dangerous." And you might say "well you ship something with the same age gap. Is it not p3dophi1ia and dangerous when you do it?" And they will just double down and say "This ship is dangerous. The shippers are grasping at straws to make their p3d0 ship normal.")

They will agree with you, but in the worst way possible. (Ex. Someone says "Ew your ship are basically siblings because they're childhood friends and grew up together. 1nc3st apologist." And you might respond "And yet we allow our most popular ship in this fandom to be popular? They grew up together as childhood friends and were inseparable. Why is that not inc3st?" because you think they'll gain a sense of perspective here. But then that person responds "People who ship that popular ship are freaks too then." Maybe they believed that before the convo or maybe they didn't, but the point now is that (while not your intention or fault by any means) some people have gone on to harass shippers of a ship that aren't doing anything wrong. What you think will bring clarity ends up raising tensions between shippers instead)

Do not meet them where they're at on their preconceived notions. You will not make them believe that they are wrong or hypocrites. Do not concede to their heavy assertions of abuse, p3dophi1ia, 1nc3st, etc levied against the thing you like for the sake of arguing that they are a hypocrite, or with intent to make them feel dumb for inadvertently labeling 80% of a fandom with said labels. They will not "see the light". The best thing you can do, if you have to say anything, is double down with "I'm not hurting anyone and it's fiction. I can do whatever I want" or "I don't give a shit what harmless things people like as long as it's tagged and I can filter out what I dislike" (especially if this is your stance). Then block and move on.

Antis, like trolls, thrive on engagement. They want you to argue so they can continue to point at you or lie about you or make you look bad.

It is in your best interest to pick your battles, and to try to sus out the difference between a friendly argument or standing up for yourself versus feeding the trolls. You won't make the right choice every time, all of us are human after all, but I promise you that ignoring and blocking bad faith actors, deleting their hate anons, etc, is not the coward's way out. Sometimes you don't need to fight. Sometimes keeping yourself from platforming bad faith actors and giving them nothing to go on will do the job (because there are more antis that are just small blogs with little power to do anything than you think, the kinds of people whose inflammatory posts will die if no one touches them).

Thank you for coming to my TED Talk.

[aethersea]

it's funny how often, in the queen's thief books, the sad and shocking twist is that the love was there all along. there's the big obvious one, of course, but it comes up again and again: Dite with his hopeless crush, Sejanus with his mocking cruelties, Relius with his abject devotion and Teleus with his stalwart loyalty, Attolia's ladies closing ranks around her, Sophos telling all his tale and bashfully leaving out how often and how wistfully he thought of Eddis. in other cases it grows silently and catches our narrator by surprise: Costis down the well, Pol on the cliffside.

and it doesn't save everyone. love is not always a gentle thing, and it's not always enough. the minister of war nearly strangled his son to death. Sejanus committed treason. Eddis went to war. but it's always there, unobtrusive as a shadow, pervasive as the sunlight.

I think sometimes of a quote from mwt saying she front-loads the trauma: the worst thing that is going to happen to the characters, emotionally, generally happens in the first few chapters. their world ends, their life shatters, they lose everything, they are alone and afraid with no allies and no hope. and then we rebuild. over the course of slow, painstaking pages, they regain their footing in the world, carve out a new self, discover a new perspective and a new strength. further ills befall, of course, and at the great climax everything seems bleak and dire once again, but it's still not the worst thing to happen to them. they face the dire moment bravely, afraid but not alone, certain now in who they are and how they will face the end if it comes.

I'm still mulling this over, I don't have a tidy knot to tie between these points, but they feel connected. something about the compassion woven through these stories, both for the characters and for the readers. something about how they're tales of intrigue and adventure, yes, but they're also stories about building something good, and about seeing the best in people even when their worst is horrific, and about love as an act of courage in a harsh world. love as an act of faith. love as the last thing left that might be able to save you.

[tianxyz]

Finished reading Caleb's Limited Myth Decoherence and OWWW

I'll just be rambling my thoughts and things I've gleaned from twitter theories. SPOILERS; obviously!!

It was so painful 🥲 he acts a lot like Caleb from the Standard Myth when he believes MC doesn't remember him. He comes across to me as someone caring for a loved one with dementia. The gentleness and patience he holds is so compelling yet heartbreaking. The pain MC endures here is especially cruel, it's as if they never escaped Gaia Research Lab...

It's shocking yet refreshing(?) how lifeless MC is in this myth. Until Caleb breaks her out and gives her a dream to live for, do we see life return to her eyes. The way he's so overjoyed whenever MC recites a memory or experiences happiness. His happiness really is tied to hers 🥺 Like he's reclaiming her humanity from the researchers.

But that begs the question; just how much of his past-life memories does he remember through dreams? He seems to be so knowledgeable about what "normal human life" is. Have his memories shown him what kissing and amusement parks are like? He's a lot more human compared to her...

SIDE NOTE: And bc I've seen haters on twt come after every story beat claiming it's stolen from another LI's. Yes, he has similar qualities to Dawnbreaker but the major difference is Zayne's Dawnbreaker is a parallel timeline running alongside Dr Zayne's, while Caleb just has past memories in the same way ALL the LI's seem to remember their past. Caleb is different in which his Limited Myth is the one with the memories and (presumably) not his current self!

I love the running theme of his lies and deception for her sake continues in this myth. It's not Caleb if he's not a shady liar!! ☝️😌 Him breaking their promise is so in character, and it's even more heart wrenching when you know how much promises mean to MC in every timeline. And the self-mutilation in breaking his hand receptor??!? I thought the spoilers I saw were exaggerating but wow..... His resolve to switch their fates perfectly parallels his present day goals. He will become the perfect weapon so she can be free 🥺

The only thing I disagree with most on is how most CN trope consumers tend to harp on how the EN localization waters down the gege/forbidden love aspect of his character. I usually agree and think it enhances the main story, but in this myth specifically, I don't see a point in him being her gege rather than her "friend". They're living weapons, their programming is literally built to reject the idea of being alone and happy together. That's plenty forbidden for me. I will say simply, translating it as "friend" is a little lackluster but I still get it! Maybe it's for consistency sake, but I find it unnecessary in this scenario to phrase that only someone who is "family" can care for her that much. They are shown to be twin flames, connected in each other's joy and pain. That alone is enough for me, no need to specify the brotherly aspect anymore. They're soulmates.

Speaking of the EN localization, HIS EN VA COOKED !! The almost-crying line delivery that stuck with me from his Catch-22 card was the star here! The vulnerability in his voice and face whenever MC confesses she wants to be with him. He reacts the way I MYSELF reacts whenever he's the one saying something heartwarming!! 🫨 AND THE FACIAL ACTING.... The many blinks he takes before their kiss, as if he's in disbelief of what he's seeing. Fr tho, what dreams/memories is he having to know to kiss with tongue? 🤨 AND THEN IT ENDS AT THE BEGINNING.... THE SUPERNOVA WITH A RENDITION OF HIS THEME, WEIGHTLESS PARADISE (?) 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

CONCLUSION; I loved this myth, and as a Nier Automata fan I ate up the scenario. I do think the gunfight sounds were pretty noisy and I caught a couple typos, but it's still so beautifully crafted. This story was probably the most bleak and hopeless one yet, with danger always on their heels. I still like Lucid Dream, his standard myth more though. Maybe because it was brand new and shocking, and this myth heavily parallels it. Being exposed to these storylines and his deception for the first time was life changing. I still stand by my opinion that every Caleb story/card is really masterfully written. There's so much care poured into him, I'm so glad he's back after all this time 🧡🧡🧡

[twig-tea]

Love in the Big City TV Series Episodes 7 & 8: Different Flavours of Hope

Like almost everyone else has said, writing about this last part was so difficult. Partially there's so much that was going on, partially I'm afraid to not do this amazing series justice, and partially I'm just not ready to let go. Thanks one last time to @lurkingshan and @bengiyo for putting together the discussion questions and roundup.

I thought it was interesting that this section of the series added Eun Su's proposal fiasco, Yeong's father making an appearance, and the details of Q/Habibi having a wife and child to the material from the book. All of these additions are related to marriages in which the people involved are not happy, whether because they don't fit together and are getting married to stay together (Eun Su), they have another family hidden away (Yeong's father), or they are gay and feel as though they have to cheat in order to get fulfillment (Q). With these examples of all the ways in which marriage can go wrong, ending the series with the main character and all (or most) of his friends single feels much less bleak.

@lurkingshan wrote about how the addition of Eun Su's storyline helped underscore the importance of being authentically ourselves in our relationships, and I was left with the sense at the end of the series that Yeong was ready to show up more as himself than he has at any earlier point in his life.

In the book, the ending hit me harder. Young and Habibi miss the fireworks, and Young wanders into a courtyard of a stranger and cries in the rain; and then we get the flashback to the lantern scene as the final moment. I ended the book thinking Young had started finally feeling his feelings, the first step in being able to move on. I didn't really think he would ever be with Gyu-Ho again, but that he could still find love again and that this time he might be better equipped to keep it, if he kept on that path. But the moment that we're left with, he is still very much in that first stage of processing, and it hurts.

In the series, we get Yeong with the T-aras watching the fireworks, then the lantern scene bleeding back into Yeong and the T-aras, with Yeong's voiceover ruminating about love. Moving from a scene of love and hopelessness to a different kind of love (queer friendship) and hopefulness was a powerful visual end to the series. I think it's significant that he didn't miss the fireworks in this version. We were moved quickly in the series from the despair to the hope, which overall means it was a slightly easier watching experience but I took longer to process my emotions around the ending than I did reading the book.

Speaking of the lantern scene, I go back and forth on the change from "Gyu-Ho" to "love" in the "my only wish" line. On the one hand, Gyu-Ho as Young's only wish was powerful to me because in a way it was selfless; you could read his wish for Gyu-Ho to be not about keeping Gyu-Ho for himself, but for Gyu-Ho to be happy, which is why he makes him go to Shanghai alone. Or, you could read that as self-sabotaging because Young makes sure that he doesn't get to keep the only thing he wished for. On the other hand, in the series, Yeong sees Gyu-Ho and 'love' as interchangable, which is pretty powerful. And his wish being for 'love' means there's more than one way to fulfill it, which fits with the more hopeful tone of the series overall. In the end, I'm glad we have both versions.

The series also felt more hopeful that Gyu-Ho might return. Yeong moving out of Mi Ae's apartment was significant from a moving on perspective, but we still know Gyu-Ho will be returning to Seoul soon (thanks to the bartender) and they must still have each other's numbers and social media accounts. There is definitely more room left open in the series for a second chance. i keep thinking about how Yeong ruminated on the thought that Gyu-Ho never felt like he had a place to make his own, and when he had the chance, Yeong moved into a blank slate and brought as little as he could.

Picking up from that thought about discarding as much as he could, in the series, moreso than in the book, the mattress(es) are a powerful visual metaphor. Gyu-Ho moves his mattress in next to Yeong's, so even when they are living together they aren't quite one, but rather awkwardly sharing space in (as @bengiyo put it, an apartment that was too small). After Gyu-Ho has left for Shanghai, Yeong tosses his mattress, and we see the stain on the sheets that Yeong has been unable to wash out on his own bed--he's still in the mire of his post-breakup depression a year later. His father (who as we recall had a secret family and, once Yeong's mother left him, was absent from Yeong's life) shows up to try to garner favour once Yeong starts winning awards and gives him a mattress, which Yeong unwraps with a one-night stand from the apps, and which turns out to be carcinogenic. He lugs the mattress downstairs and leaves it on the side of the road. Finally, when he moves out, we see him leave his other mattress in the same spot, and move into his new bare condo without any of that old, stained, toxic, ill-fitting baggage.

Lastly, I'm going to call out a visual metaphor that was also in the book but worked so brilliantly in the series: The ceiling fan as a metaphor for Kylie hanging over their heads as Gyu-Ho and Yeong had sex in that cheap hostel without condoms was incredibly powerful. The way the camera was above the fan, so that our visuals were blurred, and we could feel the anxiety hover over what was otherwise a sweet scene? stunning. And it was interesting how the series connected that back to Q/Habibi with his temporary blindness. There's something in there about fear making us blind and not living life to the fullest, but I've already gone on too long and haven't quite figured that thread out yet so I'll stop there.

I was so grateful the novel translation exists, and now I'm even more grateful this adaptation exists. It is so rare for an adaptation to capture so much of what was beloved in the original while adding its own nuances that make it work in the different format. The actors, directors, crew, everyone clearly worked hard on this series, and it came out beautifully. So many tiny details make the visual and audio tapestry of the series so rich, I will definitely be rewatching to find things I missed. It's not a light story, but for so many of us this is closer to our own lives, and sometimes as lonely as a series like this is, it makes me feel less alone to see some of my experiences played out on screen. I cried so hard watching this series, and I am so thankful for the experience.

And thank you to everyone here on tumblr in the litbc book club for making this watching experience that much more powerful and interesting! I have had a fantastic time.

[liondrakes]

“You Can’t Take Me”: To Be Ontopunk in 2025

by Sivaan of Candlekeep

Blurb: Personal reflections on embracing ontopunk ideologies and practices in the wake of today’s climate. This is my final entry for @who-is-page’s Alterhuman Writing Challenge.

Day 30 of the AHPI Writing Challenge

“Don't judge a thing until you know what's inside it. Don't push me, I'll fight it. Never gonna give in, never gonna give it up, no— if you can't catch a wave, then you're never gonna ride it. You can't come uninvited. Never gonna give in, never gonna give it up, no— You can't take me, I'm free,” Bryan Adams.

Sometimes, I change shape based on my emotions. When I’m aggravated, I don’t become a lion. I don’t become a bear, or a gryphon, or a dragon. I don’t become any predatory species I belong to, contrary to the assumptions tied to those ‘types.

No, I become an oryx. I become a gemsbok, to be exact. My anger doesn’t look like unsheathed claws or gnashing fangs. It looks like a pair of slender, black horns, piercing through flesh. If not that, it’s in the form of an elk. It sounds like a furious, restless bugle that’s a little too close, like whatever’s coming is giving its final warning before it charges.

I am a bull who’s sick and tired, especially with the United States as is. I don’t need to air out the list of reasons why my country’s government is looking to fuck over me and those like me. All of those changes in one day make that evident enough.

However, I will make one thing clear. Politicians hold no authority over my identity. Things are bleak, very bleak, but when haven’t they been that way? I can count the times I’ve truly felt safe in this country on one hand, but that didn’t stop me from putting my foot forward and making the effort to see another day.

As years came and went, I grew more determined in spitting on the image of politicians and billionaires since my country is so adamant about propagating their filth. That included those who bootlick them so much that they forget they too are affected by the class disparity perpetuated between them and their “idols”. Said determination also meant emotionally preparing for outcomes like our recent election. It’s hard to find hope under these circumstances, but that doesn’t mean I can’t inspire hope for myself or those around me who need the support.

When the second inauguration of that bastard and his fraternity of fascists unfolded, all I could think of was a song. It was a short and simple song from my childhood, albeit through a DVD bought by my parents many years after it released. Given the topic of this entry, I’ll admit that it’s not a punk song in terms of genre. It’s a song that came from the animated film Spirit: Stallion of the Cimarron (2002). Nonetheless, it still holds so much power to me.

Performed by Bryan Adams, this song, “You Can’t Take Me”, plays as Spirit is dragged to a military encampment where he is expected to become a war horse. Despite how hopeless his situation seems, Spirit himself refuses to give into that hopelessness. He snaps at his captors, fights against their ropes, and digs his hooves into the dirt as the song progresses. Although he made a sacrifice to protect his herd, he is determined to return to them. That means securing his freedom at all costs. “You Can’t Take Me” stresses this in its chorus, but this isn’t the last time that this goal is given focus.

Spirit’s freedom is the heart of the film’s plot. Freedom is also a recurring theme alongside resistance against oppressive systems and solidarity with other marginalized parties. Spirit defends his freedom no matter the circumstance, even when things take a turn for the worst. At the same time, he couldn’t do it alone nor could he abandon those in the same spot as him. Spirit knew a life of exploitation isn’t a life at all, not just in his case but in the case of other captured horses and Little Creek. To me, remembering this song and the context in which it exists may have been coincidences, but they sure were useful coincidences given my position.

Yes, I am angry. I’m not devoid of a conscience, though. I can’t afford to give into hopelessness. No one can. It’s what our pathetic excuse for a government wants, and hopelessness will get us nowhere in the days ahead. Instead, I’m putting that energy into something that will provide better structure to my world view.

Earlier last year, I familiarized myself with two ideologies within the alterhuman community: ontopunk and beastpunk. Both subcultures are alike in their values and practices, but have a set focus at their core. Ontopunk centers radical acceptance of all forms of existence and the autonomy within it, whereas beastpunk centers radical reclamation of nonhuman animal identity. I'm more familiar with the latter of the two since a couple of my friends are beastpunk. That said, I've found myself gravitating more towards ontopunk as a personal ideology.

Ontopunk is often associated with kinpunk, a communal concept that technically predates it. However, I learned recently that the conception of ontopunk and its connection to kinpunk were coincidences. Ontopunk happened to come around the same time as the coining of kinpunk. Created during discussions within the Alt+H Discord server, two terms with similar approaches as kinpunk came to be: alterpunk and ontopunk. From what I could tell, these terms essentially meant the same thing. When kinpunk started floating around on Tumblr, these terms were then suggested as all-inclusive alternatives.

Of the two, ontopunk won out due to its emphasis on being. Since ontopunk’s point of reference is usually a clarification for what the term is and its purpose, I personally go off of Sapphire (@/bigendering)’s proposed outline for alterpunk due to these terms’ shared basis:

Radical acceptance, in which you are what you say you are.

Open exploration of your identity, including exploring and/or supporting affirming practices such as body modification.

Advocacy for the natural world, which includes supporting animal rights and plant/environmental care.

Rejection of anthropocentrism. This includes the idea that people = human, that humans are more important than other life forms, and that humans are better and different than animals in exceptional ways.

Rejection of the idea that the body is the center of identity, that one can have only one identity, and that identity can’t change.

Rejection of the idea that one can't choose one's identity, or that chosen identities are lesser in comparison those that aren’t chosen.

Rejection of intercommunal bias, particularly towards mammals as the nonhuman side of our community contains a vast quantity of mammalian members.

Note: much of this is paraphrased from the original thread covering alterpunk / ontopunk. The original thread is linked in the passage that first mentions ontopunk and beastpunk.

With this considered, ontopunk isn’t exclusive to alterhumans either. It’s open to all. Whether inside or outside of this community, it’s about embracing all who express themselves how they see fit.

Furthermore, there’s the nuances of being besides oneself to acknowledge. Ontopunk isn’t only for those who actively define their own means of being but those who’re treated as if they have no perceivable sense of being as well. Mord (@/vagabondsun) quoted itself on how ontopunk could be applied in this context:

“vagabondsun (77): [...] i think a line in there about like, acknowledging the... not ‘personhood' exactly, but the sovreignity of inanimate objects? I...] especially if we're alluding to ontology, like, object oriented ontology is a philosophical theory that exists which rejects anthropocentrism by saying that all entities, including inanimate objects and concepts, have some kind of (in very simplified and not-quite-accurate terms) a subjective awareness.”

This caught my eye as someone who’s *multiposic (aniposic and psyposic, to be exact). For the objects in my day-to-day life, my relationship with them is usually platonic or familial in nature. Although I don’t always talk to them, I know that they coexist alongside me and are close to me as individuals. I appreciated this approach from Mord since not everyone considers the presence of objects and concepts in these conversations.

*Multiposic refers to an individual who is POSIC+ for multiple reasons; the following two labels are why I’m POSIC+. Aniposic refers to an individual who is POSIC+ due to being a practicing animist. Psyposic refers to an individual who is POSIC+ due to psychological reasons but either chooses not to disclose why or does not know why.

Aside from those details, I thought of my own sense of being. Here are some examples:

I am not from this dimension, at least not originally. Many versions of me exist across different points in my dimension of origin.

I see myself as a scholar, a quest guide and a figure akin to a wise serpent through my archetropy.

I am transspecies. I experience having multiple forms outside of the human body I occupy, specifically through phantom bodies.

I am a fictional character and creature. I hold connections to other fictional beings through soulbonding.

I am also a creature with earthen connections, be it through my experiences with earthen animality or earthen mythology.

I am an agnostic animist. In my opinion, the existence of deities and other manners of higher powers exist solely through the practitioner in question. The act of belief is what makes these figures real; otherwise, all other means of their existence can neither be proven nor disproven.

That said, I believe objects and concepts have their own form of sentience. Lack of verbal, expressive and overall physical communication does not rule out the possibility of said sentience.

I am many, many things that question the boundaries of being as proposed by the society I currently live in. If I said I was any of these truths aloud, I would be given a sideways glance by your average citizen in the United States. I don’t particularly care about that result, so long as I am in the right company. Most of them believe one inconceivable, all-powerful spirit of a man created the pots we piss in, and also use him as an excuse to condemn my existence, but you don’t see me casting judgment upon the possibility of said spirit’s existence or the beliefs inspired by him. The problem is when people fully believe their way of being is superior to others or that someone else’s way of being is weird, questionable, or generally “wrong” when it doesn’t harm anyone.

Perhaps, that’s why I gravitate towards ontopunk ideologies so much. The very margins of how I perceive my existence, the existence of others and the worlds surrounding us challenges those norms. It doesn’t stop at my alterhumanity. It extends into my relationship with my environment and my day-to-day life. It includes how I envision not only my existence in this world, but how I envision the existence of all things. It is thoroughly, unapologetically about embracing what it means to be anything.

So why not embrace all of me? Why not wear that on my sleeve, defying the “policies” proposed by those who aim to destroy people like me? You can’t put a law on existence. Damn them all if they do. I’ll continue to take heed of existence and the autonomy it provides.

Everyone is deserving of ontological freedom. As the coiners addressed before, ontological freedom isn’t exclusive to us alterhumans either. We share many of those freedoms with orthohumans and non-sapient beings simply by existing alongside each other. Hell, I insist that we assert our ontological freedoms even more.

Self-denial has held me back in my past, but I refuse to let it cage me in the future. I will lock my horns together and wrestle hatred to the ground. I will pierce the throats of fear and compliance until my dominance is made clear. I will drive them from my home, from those I share space with and from myself above all else.

I will still be here, and I will continue to be who I am. That is what being ontopunk means to me, especially at the start of this year.

Come what may. Know that I am free.

[caperingcryptid]

So I don't really like to talk politics or get into much personal on this blog. I haven't really actively posted in a while generally, because between juggling multiple jobs and some other issues I won't get into, I haven't had much energy (plus, again, I tend to be very private). Times are very scary right now. If you're anything like me, you're having a hard time tearing your eyes away from the news. You check again and again, because checking is the one thing you have control over right now. It's okay to be in that boat with everyone else who does that. It's possible things might turn out even scarier in the future. I wish I could say that everything will turn out for the best, but it's not a guarantee. I just wanted to come on and say that regardless of how bleak things might be, things aren't helpless or hopeless. If you have the money, you can consider donating to organizations like women's shelters, local or nonlocal groups supporting domestic abuse victims, and the Trevor Project. If you don't have the money, you can always volunteer, and if you don't have the time or transportation or energy, you can just keep on talking about these issues and don't let them rest. If you don't have the energy for that either, then please, just be kind and forgiving to yourself through all this. It's hard to keep passion through everything that's going on, and it's hard not to let bleakness take over. I spent today feeling like a deer in the headlights, so you all aren't alone. I once read somewhere that everyone has that little bit of "I want to save the world" in them. Even in the face of hopelessness, I think we should all try our best to hold onto that.

Take care of yourselves, everyone. Be good to yourselves.

[hamlets-bootycheeks]

I've been watching LotR the last few days (cause why watch something I haven't seen before from my incredibly long list of things I need to watch when I can watch something I've seen before a ton) and I just want to talk about radical hope.

The story of LotR is bleak. Just. So incredibly hopeless. There are so many points where the characters just genuinely have no hope that they will live, let alone save the world.

During Return of the King, there is a literal darkness that covers the world for days. The only hope there is for success is a couple hobbits. Who are walking through enemy territory. With one thing that would instantly guarantee success to the enemy.

And in the end Frodo fails.

Despite all of this

They kept hoping.

Frodo failed and all was lost.

But it wasn't.

They saved everything.

They didn't make it through unscarred. Many people didn't make it through at all. But they did make it.

But they wouldn't have if they'd given up.

Sam's speech at the end of The Two Towers left me in tears. (It normally doesn't.)

Lately I've been feeling incredibly hopeless. I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to figure out what I want to do for a living, and I'm currently working towards something that I have so little chance of succeeding in. I'm paying so much money to go to school for this.

Beyond just me, I'm terrified for the upcoming election for obvious reasons. I live in a country where we already have a maternal mortality rate that's way too fucking high and people are actively working to make that worse. I live in a country where there are people who don't think I and the people I love deserve to exist. I live in a country where the highest cause of death for children is guns.

I live in a world where there is an active genocide going on and no one gives a shit. I live in a world where the deadliest disease has a cure, but why would we give them access to that? The people dying from it are poor. They're poor because of us. I live in a world that those in power are slowly destroying.

But I'm here. We're all here. And there's so much bad. But there's so much good.

I went to a convention last month, and it was the most fun I'd ever had. I want to do that again.

I got invited to go to a pumpkin patch with a friend next week.

I just finished rereading Hamlet.

I have motivation to write and tell stories for the first time in years.

I made a new friend this year.

I still haven't finished listening to Welcome to Nightvale.

Alecto the Ninth isn't out yet.

I had a friend help me out yesterday.

I helped out a different friend.

There are stars in the sky.

The leaves are turning colors and falling and it's so beautiful.

I watched a movie that I've seen at least a dozen times before and it made me cry.

It feels so hopeless.

But that's not a reason to give up hope.

We gotta fight for what we've got. I'm going to fight tooth and nail even if all it means is that I get to see one more sunset, read one more book that changes me, meet one more person who gets me.

I don't care if you can donate a thousand dollars to a charity, or if all you can do is just stick around for another day because you know that you will feel joy again at some point, that's what you gotta do.

It might get worse.

We might not see things get better.

But it will get better again. And before it does, there will still be moments of joy. And the chance that we'll see everything get better, the chance that we'll see anything get better, that's worth sticking around for.

That's radical hope.

Sam: It’s like in the great stories, Mr. Frodo. The ones that really mattered. Full of darkness and danger, they were. And sometimes you didn’t want to know the end. Because how could the end be happy? How could the world go back to the way it was when so much bad had happened? But in the end, it’s only a passing thing, this shadow. Even darkness must pass. A new day will come. And when the sun shines it will shine out the clearer. Those were the stories that stayed with you. That meant something, even if you were too small to understand why. But I think, Mr. Frodo, I do understand. I know now. Folk in those stories had lots of chances of turning back, only they didn’t. They kept going. Because they were holding on to something.

Frodo: What are we holding onto, Sam?

Sam: That there’s some good in this world, Mr. Frodo… and it’s worth fighting for.

[butmakeitgayblog]

Everything feels so bleak today. The most depressing day of the year, coincides with inauguration of a facist. Wish I could just turn it all off 😔

Listen to me. There's a lot to be upset about, and yeah, shit is bleak. I don't have words of inspiration because frankly, we're moving into a very dark time. Darker, and more dangerous, than I think the majority of people really appreciate quite yet.

But what I can say is, for as hard is it is and will be, the only thing we can do is try not to let it destroy your own personal moments of joy. Times like these really are the times when it becomes so important to slow yourself down and work to find stolen moments of beauty and connection. Oppressors want people to live in a constant state of despair. In isolation. They want everyone hopeless and despondent, because those people go quietly into the night.

Simply finding moments to appreciate life is defiance. Smiling at a pretty sunset still matters. Petting a dog still matters. Reading fic, creating something, catching a glass before it hits the ground and feeling like Spiderman for a second. It all still matters. Happiness exists in the small moments, especially in the darkest of times. Let yourself feel it whenever you can. Make yourself feel it.

These are also the times when it becomes important to create connections with people, no matter how small. Reach out to friends if you can, foster relationships with family if you have a safe one, tend and nurture friendships online, if only so you have a lattice of emotional support. Remember that we are not meant to be individuals shuffling through the world alone, but rather a community. Help create your own community, no matter how small.

2 friends in a group chat is a community. Nurture it.

One friend you play video games with on weekends is a community. Nurture it.

That one coworker who you get along with is a community. Nurture it.

Don't let the hateful and loud make you feel like you're alone, because you're not. There are people out here who are kind and feel every bit as lost as you do, we just need to find each other and remember that we are a community.

[juniigirl]

Please, for the love of everything good in this planet, PLEASE stay alive. Please don't kill yourself. Please stay. I know how hard things are right now- how scary things are and how hopeless it may seem- but it is not worth it to leave. Not yet. There is still hope. There is still good to fight for. You are loved and important and so so beautiful. Do not let the vote for hate beat you down. It's scary. It's so scary. It's so hard. It feels so bleak and hopeless. I know. I do. But it's not true. There is always hope to be found. There is always something to live for and to fight for. And you need to stay to see that good in the world win. It might not happen today. Or tomorrow. Or in the next few years. But it WILL happen. It will happen eventually and you need to stick around to see it. For now, focus on your community. Take a step away from the bigger picture and focus on your friends, family, and people and communities you love and care about. Focus on yourself. Things are rough, but the best thing you can do right now is take care of yourself and your loved ones. Indulge in your favorite media, read a new book, watch a new movie, start a new series or game, listen to new music, find a new hobby. Anything to keep yourself afloat. Find something you enjoy and use it to your advantage. Stay hopeful. Have faith. There is always something to fall back on. Always something to fight for. Always something to stay alive for. I love you. Please stay. If anyone needs to vent or talk about ANYTHING. Anything at all. My dms are open. My inbox is open. I will listen to you. If you don't want me to respond, if you just want somewhere to scream and not be judged, I'm here. You are not alone.

Push on through.

[jedi-enthusiasm-blog]

Hello dear friends! ❤🤍🖤💚

🍉I am Mahmoud Ayyad, a Palestinian from the besieged and destroyed Gaza 😭😭, coming from an extended family of young children, women and elderly people ❤❤ who have been suffering😭😭 for 300 difficult days from an aggressive war.

Our lives are harsh because we lack all the basic necessities of life. Everything has become scarce and unattainable. There is no food, no water, no medicine.

So, I ask you to help me keep my family safe and alive, especially after we had lost all our sources of livelihood.Please do not leave my family to struggle and suffer these difficult days alone. You can support my campaign by donating whatever you can or by sharing my posts to reach others who can help us survive the war to safety and peace. You are helping the lives of many people with your small contribution. Every donation makes a difference in our very difficult lives. But this is a legitimate campaign and has been checked by 90-ghost.

https://gofund.me/31c5cbe3

This is a fandom blog. I post Star Wars things, Jedi things, and the ocassional other fandom/story/meme. However, I'm making an exception this time because this is important.

I'm sorry. I don't have much money and I can't donate any funds. But I can help increase awereness.

Everyone: check your sources and campaigns and, if they're legitimate, donate, if you can afford it. A small donation can save lives.

But don't stop there.

Donate to charities. They can help Palestinians who don't have social media or don't speak English.

And please, keep petitioning for a ceasefire. That's crucial right now.

Do what you can, when you can, as much as you can. I promise it makes a difference. But don't stop doing things just because it feels hopeless.

This is about Palestine, yes, but not just that. Ukraine, abortion rights, women's rights, LGBT+ rights, black lives matter… anything. Help wherever you can, however you're able to.

Don't let today's bleakness make you indifferent to the suffering of others. Apathy only makes things worse.

[glaciertea]

Masterlist here

Tales the Songs Weave

Ch.25<< >>Ch.27

Notes: Taking a peek into a therapy session for Miguel.

Chapter 26: Spreaded Wings in the Winds

Word count: 2.7k

Shades are drawn down, and a lone lamp covers most of the area that the person sitting adjacent to the hulking man needs.

Time was ticking, and so were his thoughts. His eyes always looked at the ceiling, but today he chose the ground, taking in the sounds of flipping pages or tapping on a screen. 

She was efficient, but Dr. Penelope never makes him feel like he's some sort of guinea pig to be studied under some microscope. He was always grateful for that.

“I'm always ready to continue on. Now that I know I'm not necessarily confined to this one singular event, I want to venture on, but there's these moments where I look up to the sky, waiting for that bleak, multicolored death.”

There was a slight pause. “Have the nightmares been coming back from the last time we spoke, Mr. O'hara?”

His eyes closed for a second, and he enjoyed the silence before fluttering them back open.

“I did have a couple.”

“How many in the span of two weeks?”

He tilted his head. “Maybe three? Four? Between three and five.”

She notes it down and reviews older observations. “And I assume you've been practicing the exercises?”

“Yes. She helps me out when need be, but I've been mostly trying for myself.”

“And you've expressed your concerns about Mrs. O'Hara attempting to jump in when you want to practice it alone, like I've asked, right?”

He softly laughed. “Yes, she gets worried every time, but I told her it does make me slightly more nervous if she tries to intervene sometimes, so she understood and will let me be if needed.”

“That's good. Now, have these nightmares been related to your thoughts about the world disappearing?”

He's glad to have gotten used to that clock. At first, it was the most obnoxious and irritating noise in the world or in all of the multiverse.

But now, it's a strange comfort.

“Yes. Because it switches between Gabriella and mi Lun- my wife. Or there are moments where the two merge, and I'm doing everything in my power to keep them alive.”

Miguel fidgets with his wedding band, twisting it back and forth. Soft breathing matches up with the clicking of time.

“Would you like to discuss the most recent one?”

Biting his tongue, he debates. Dr. Penelope places the notebook to the side, providing that much-needed space.

“This time, they were together. Not merged, but separate. Mi osi- Gabi, was holding her hand, and they both had this look of calmness to them. Like they were... happy.” More twisting of the ring. “The world around us was disintegrating, and I was screaming, begging, and commanding them to stop standing there and let me get them to safety.” 

A pregnant pause, then a long sigh. “But they kept smiling. Hand in hand, smiling and telling me it's going to be okay. That things were going to be okay.”

“Did you still try to run for them?”

He shook his head. “I—I didn't.” He swallowed back the lump, the stinging settling in. “My brain was hounding me to ignore what they were saying, that they didn't understand the danger they were in, but my body... My body decided to stay rooted to the ground. I couldn't move a muscle; I could only watch as the colors came closer and closer. I needed to save them, but... but I didn't.”

The pen scratched on the pad. “It sounds like you were in a battle with yourself. The internal conflict of being at war with oneself.”

Miguel hummed. A mixture of needing to repair these infringements or allow the problems to heal naturally without integrating himself into a mess that's technically not his fault.

“I feel as though the control that's been primarily dominant has been shifted. I have my moments where I feel indecisive, and I can never feel if that's a good thing or not.”

She wrote something down and nodded to let him continue.

“When I get that way, I don't feel that resonating anger. I do feel hopeless in a sense when it's out of my control. Like the other day, when mi Lu- ah, my wife, was cooking up chicken in the oven, she needed to bend over to get something.

“Now this was before she forced me to go sit down and relax, as I didn't want her standing on her feet for so long, but I was willing to compromise.”

“And what was that conclusion you came to?” A click of a pen.

“If she really needed help, she would call for me. But here's the thing about mi coraz- my wife. She can be unyielding at times. Trying to redirect her is like trying to stop an unstoppable train heading full force into a wall.” A smile was on his face. 

“Once her mind is set on something, she will do it. She won't ever say it out loud, but I can tell when she's thinking it.” 

A shift in the seat. “So when I saw her struggling, my brain went to ‘make her sit down, whether she likes it or not. She is clearly straining herself.’ And I went into it with that mindset I wanted to suppress, but it got to me.”

Dr. Penelope was scribbling down on her notepad when she turned back to him. “Your aspect to garner that control?”

“Yes. I did manage to talk myself down, but by the time I was over there, she was already sending me back with the item in question in her hand.” He ran his hand through his hair. “I think my problem is that I'm still not used to not doing everything. I do have someone who is willing to help and even take some of these burdens and blame off of me when something goes wrong.”

He lays back.

“I believe that my mind keeps wanting something to go wrong. Not like a small glass of milk spilling on the ground. That's a mess anyone can clean up, but something more devastating.”

More notes are being jotted, typed, and jotted. He always amused him when she used both the holopad and a generic pen and paper.

“Do you think it'll be a fatalistic outcome?” 

“I don't think it's that. Possibly? More like anything that can go wrong will go wrong.”

“Murphy's law.”

“Yes. That's the one. I'm aware it's a morose, fatalistic view, but that's the philosophy that wants to keep sneaking in. It might be a fatalistic look when I say it in the open.”

Dr. Penelope removed her glasses and scooted up in her chair, folding her hands in her lap. “Did you know that the law has been skewed?”

“It has?”

“Mhm. The original saying got misinterpreted by somebody. An air force was conducting research on high-speed jets, and Murphy griped about some of the technicians. He originally said, “If there's any way they can do it wrong, they will.” Eventually, it began to spread around the base, stating that if things go wrong, it's Murphy's law, and here we are.

“But funny enough, he later stated that it was meant to be ‘If it can happen, it will;’ in a more motivational sense, not the latter. Because, guess what? That mindset they held that not everything would go wrong, but it could go wrong, worked, as there is now safety in the skies and on the roads we drive.

“The truth is, things may go wrong; it will happen, but there will be those who keep trying to find that positive component. It's all about how you go about these things. It's more of a motivational perception that many don't realize. It's how you handle those situations.”

“I've been told that by two important people.”

“I can take a guess, but we will discuss that another day.” 

She went over her notes and took several seconds to cross-examine from the screen to the paper. She turned to the clock and nodded her head. 

“For your homework, I would like for you to take someone's word when they assure you they have something under lock and key. The only time you may intervene is if they are actively expressing their need for any help.”

His fangs popped out along with a grunt. “I will try my best.”

“That's the best thing you can strive for.”

The twinkling jingle alerted them that it was the end of the session. Miguel sat up and stretched his back; a satisfying pop drifted in his ears.

“Would you like to add more time for today?”

They were over their usual forty-five minutes, and he needed to get home. 

“No, not today. Thank you, though.”

“Of course, I will see you at the same time next week, right?”

“Yes, I will be here. And if I don't, she will make sure I'm here front and center.”

A wispy chuckle parted from her. “I know she will. By the way, how is Mrs. O'Hara coming along? I think I last asked about her a few weeks ago.”

“Seven months in. She's trying and fighting, but I can tell she has moments where she's ready to reach in and rip it out herself.”

“I don't blame her. Do you know what the gender will be?”

He shook his head. “Keeping it a surprise; besides, I don't think we really care; we just want the baby to be thriving and happy.”

There was fondness behind that lopsided grin. “It's been a process, but I can surely say I have seen the progress made, Mr. O'hara.”

“You can?”

“Mhm. From when you first got in touch with me, I felt that apprehension in your voice. Then, when you came in for the first appointment, I will never forget that.”

“Yeah, she did most of the talking for me.” A mutual laugh.

“She did, but you did find your own voice, as we wouldn't be here now.”

He did with the much-needed push.

“Do you believe you've made progress?”

He blinked, claws folded, his forearms resting on parts of his thighs and knees. “I…”

He was transported into that spaceless void, and the only thing in sight was the question.

Has he developed and improved over time? He's never really thought about it.

Dr. Penelope scooted back into her chair, ready to hear any of his thoughts.

It was still for about two minutes.

“I think I have.” His heavy brows lowered, ready to jump back into the mindscape, when Dr. Penelope waved her hand.

“See this as extra credit. It's not mandatory, but it's there if you'd like. Think about how you progressed over the course of time. Rather, it may be one week or a full year; see how far you have come. You may ask fellow friends, your wife, or whoever, but most importantly, I want you to take into account how much you have grown and accomplished.”

There must be growth within him. “Yes ma'am. Thank you, Dr. Penelope.”

“No need to thank me; this is for you. I'll see you next week, Mr. O'Hara. And tell Mrs. O'Hara, I said hello.”

“I will. Have a good rest of your day.”

Stepping out of her office and into HQ, Miguel debated if he should go through the building and talk to the others, or take it easy on himself and chat with them another day.

Taking his watch out, he checked the time and the location to make sure it was set to home.

“I think I'll give myself ten minutes here. Yeah, I can do that.” And with that, he made his way down the long corridor.

• • •

Swishing to the beat of the song, a low buzz didn't keep the same notes or try to harmonize with it. It did add a visionary ambience as you thought of a multitude of swirling colors and shapes.

“Mi Luna.” You could hear the tiny smile in his voice.

“Mi Estrella.” He could definitely hear the giant, sizable grin in yours.

You placed a pot filled with uncooked rice in the sink and waddled to turn to your husband, arms held out.

“Chicken teriyaki and jasmine rice?” Miguel sauntered over, delicately pulling you into a hug, minding your protruding belly.

“With fresh cabbage, squash, and carrots.” 

“Mm, suena muy delicioso.” He placed a lingering kiss on your forehead until he made his way down to his knees.

“No me olvidé de ti, mi pequeña estrella fugaz.” He rested his palms on either side of your stomach, planting tiny kisses all over. “Mis galaxias.” His lips stayed for a few more seconds before standing up.

“How did it go?”

“It was pretty nice. It took a minute to get back into it, but it went well. And Dr. Penelope says hello. But how have you two been doing? Have they been giving you any trouble?”

His fingers dipped to your underbelly, diligently massaging any harboring pain.

“Besides the many cases of flutters and the endless, rampant kicks, it's been going okay today. I think they might have tired themselves out. I swear, I'm going to put them in kickboxing or track and field.”

“If they have my speed, good luck with the second option.”

You blew a raspberry at him, causing him to crack up laughing. 

Going back to the rice and cleaning it, Miguel took in the rushing faucet, your voice droning, following a note to the next from the current song, and the peaceful atmosphere of birds chirping and winds breezing from the opened window he now spotted.

His heart was at ease.

“Mother keeps hounding me about the gender of the baby. My gosh. One call claiming it's for an update, when in reality it becomes a thirty-minute lecture about the ‘importance of knowing your baby's gender,’ and blah, buh-blah. I'm shocked it's been her; it's usually dad who does those weird ramblings, but–”

“Mi Luna, do you think I've progressed?”

You turned the water off, tilting your head up to him. “Do I think you've progressed?”

“Si. I'm sorry for interrupting you.”

“No, no, it's okay. I would rather rant about that later on. Now on to your question.” You were facing him again, arms folded over your stomach. “Do I think Mr. Miguel O'Hara has progressed? In the past month or year and a half?”

“Year and a half.”

“Hmm, let me think.” You purposely ran your pointer over your wedding band and looked to the ceiling. “You say what's on your mind a lot more easily; you still hold things in, but everyone is allowed to keep some thoughts and sentiments to themselves.”

You winked, making you both grin. “You have gotten a lot more patient. An example will be whenever Peter or Ronnie call and start their craziness. I notice you exude that forbearance, which is really good.”

A thumbs-up, but Miguel knew you weren't done. “You still have moments, but you do ease up on yourself if something goes wrong.” You bob your head and tap your chin.

“You have gotten to understand your self-worth more, and it's so amazing watching you get here and continue to grow every day.”

That warming smile was always there as you took his hands and had him put them on your belly, your hands on top of his. “You have progressed so much, mi Estrella. I am so happy for you, and I will continue to be no matter what. I will walk down the path with you every step of the way. My star is seeing that he is bright and wanted like the others.”

Thud.

“Thank you for giving me these opportunities. For giving me this life to do my best, not only for you, for this little one, or for the ones who are or will be around me. But for me.” He felt fluttering. A sense of gratitude. A sense of profound joy and bliss. “Te amo, mi estrella fugaz.” He rubbed your tummy.

“I love you, mi Luna.”

“I love you too, mi Estrella.” Your lips met in a deep kiss.

“Need help with dinner, mi corazón?”

“Nope. I got it, so you go ahead and do what you have to do.”

There was no need for rebuttals, as he pecked your cheek and went to go read his books about gardening.

The field is everlasting. The smells of soothing lavender and the golden bounce from the sun to the already bright marigolds.

His path was grueling and treacherous, bound no matter how much he wanted to escape.

Now, he sits in the flowers, with daisies, tulips, and more sprouting, watching the birds and butterflies who finally left their confined space to fly free.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

@prozacgooble @sanguwuxyoonbummy @ella-janehaven

[mythals-whore]

High Priestess and the Star fkr the Tarot asks!!

-rookamell

Rook Tarot Asks for anyone who wants to play (((:

ANSWERED: Temperance & Judgement, The Chariot

The High Priestess: How did Rook respond to their developing feelings? Did they embrace the new feelings or hide from them?

Hahaha DENY DENY DENY. Absolutely did not and will not embrace feelings. Feelings do not exist they're not real. It takes a very long time for Rook to even acknowledge her feelings internally and even longer for her to admit them. For a long minute there it's very much like "We all know what's going on here but I will not for the life of me admit it and somehow that will make a difference" And I hc a friends with benefits start to the relationship so we just act like its completely normal that they spend all this time together and they're fucking and it's normal!! And there are no feelings!! Okay. Maybe there are SOME feelings but they're not serious ones. And maybe now they're sleeping in the same bed and the idea of Davrin being with anyone else makes her feel physically ill!!! But that doesn't mean anything!!! And if you ask her about it she will projectile vomit and probably avoid him for several days.

The Star: What does hope in the aftermath look like for Rook and their love interest? When things feel hopeless, how do they act as each other’s light in the darkness?

During the events of the game Rook definitely gravitates toward Davrin because they have a similar vibe when it comes to dealing with stress. Davrin isn't one to sugar coat things or say "everything will be okay" when it won't. So it's reassuring for both of them to have someone say like "everything may not be okay, but we have to fight anyway and you don't have to do it alone." And I think there's something larger to be said there about both of them spending their lives fighting darkness to like find this other person that genuinely brings so much happiness and light into their lives even when everything is so bleak? Rook likes to hear Davrin talk about his monster manual and he really likes all of her stories about all the bar fights she gets into and property she's destroyed (: Idk I think they just genuinely make each other laugh. And then there's the sex ofc As for afterwards, for my Rook and Davrin, I definitely don't think they ever stop. Rook Mercar absolutely stays to help with rebuilding Minrathous and Davrin supports her in that (I'm also a big Minrathous Murders and Monsters truther). These are two guys who can't just stop trying to Do Good. But I think they learn to find joy in each other while they do that instead of waiting for some magic future where everything is miraculously better, if that makes sense.

Thank you for asking!! I love to yap about them <3

[mikelogan]

apologies in advance for the following rant that you really don't have to read if you don't want to.

my parents have been raising my nephew since he was just over a year old and he'll be 7 in march. i had to move back in with them in early 2023 bc of my medical and financial issues. as he gets older, the more violent, disobedient, mean he gets, and his outbursts and tantrums are nightmarish at home and at school.

a couple weeks ago, they were finally able to meet with a doctor (he already has a good pcp and has recently established with a psychiatrist) and he had a full day of testing. he's already been diagnosed with ADHD. they got the results today, which confirmed that. in addition, he's also on the autism spectrum, though i don't really know to what degree yet. but he also has dmdd and after checking it out on nimh, it fits him to a t. but jesus christ, don't read the treatment section unless you want to feel hopeless.

it's a newer disorder, first in the dsm in 2013, and listed is cbt or medications, none of which are specifically for dmdd. i looked at a few reddit posts from parents of children with the disorder and it's exactly what we're dealing with and the outlook feels so bleak. his frontal lobe is underdeveloped, so he's unable to regulate emotions the same way other kids of his age are.

and the real kicker? my sister tricked her boyfriend of 3 months at the time into getting her pregnant, telling him she was taking her birth control when she wasn't. she has borderline personality disorder but won't seek treatment for it and every direct result of her actions is always someone else's fault in her eyes, so she refuses to take accountability for anything. and she smoked pot for the entire duration of her pregnancy, claiming that it HELPS brain development 🙃

in summary, if i 1) wasn't dealing with multiple chronic illnesses, 2) wasn't so close with my parents and grandparents, and 3) didn't have severe anxiety, i would pick up and move so far away from all of this. i'm sure a lot of this sounds insensitive from the outside, but i don't mean it to. i know none of this is his fault, but the fact of the matter is that his behavior takes a massive toll on my own mental health because it's quite literally constant. loud, violent outbursts, one right after another over the most miniscule triggers. yelling, screaming, swearing, hitting, throwing, kicking, etc. if he doesn't get precisely his way. and my parents are trying and they love him dearly, but they're also not very consistent, which makes me fucking nuts.

i just. i don't know what to do and it doesn't look like there's a ton that can be done. he's tried so many meds already and the one that seemed to help for a while is starting not to and he's gotten even worse. i dread him coming home from school each day and literally count down the hours until bed time. and even then, he'll get up multiple times after they put him to bed for no reason and then throws a tantrum when they tell him to go back to bed.

however bad you think it might be, i can guarantee you it's worse living with it. i'm not being dramatic. he's a nightmare to be around and he's hurt teachers and other students, not to mention how rough he is with my parents. he has an iep and hopefully this testing and results will open more doors for help at school, but apart from math, he couldn't be less interested. all he wants to do is play on the playground and then disrupts the classroom when he doesn't get his way. he's thrown chairs, hit other children, made them bleed, etc. and again, i feel like i have to state that i know this isn't his fault, that he's not doing these things on purpose, but something's gotta give, right? i'm exhausted and miserable and i can only spend so much time holed up in my bedroom, and even then, my door has to stay open enough for my cats to get in and out, and you can hear everything downstairs even at a normal volume, let alone screaming. we only have one vehicle because mine got repo-ed after i lost my job and before my long-term disability got approved, so i can't just leave the house any time i want, plus that'll be even less of an option once winter comes.

i hate it here, basically.

[beetlebethwrites]

Escaping Mattgate for a lil. Love the drama for Matt romancers tho!

But going back to Alex.. again my one true love...

I could really relate to how real his emotions translated through your writing. That desperation and hopelessness. Ugh. I just wanted to hold him. It's real shit! When things look bleak and you don't know what to do, isolation is a sad go to for many of us. It both helps to get time away alone but it can also really hurt yourself and your loved ones when you just shut them out. I have personally experienced both of those and I loved that you wrote him as a real person that doesn't know what the fuck they are doing or even going to do.

Jordan to me honestly seems like the adorable bean in the group that probably is the least...drama when romancing (you can correct me, just the vibe I'm getting) but Alex made me really connect with that part of them.

I think slice of life games are underrated. Yes I adore fantasy and supernatural IFs.. I follow a million of them after all. But sometimes it's tougher dealing with characters that just have real life bullshit going on and who don't have their shit together and it can't be fixed with a isekai cheat mode. 🤣

Okay sorry for my rant i know it's a bit of a ramble... ♥️

Always happy to escape the Matt chat icl.

I'm really glad you've liked Alex's arc so far. They're one of my favourite characters to write because they feel emotions so deeply and I'm glad that translates to page.

Jordan is pretty low on the drama front when dating, yeah, but so are Eve and Char tbh. The actual act of dating them is really relaxed, they know what they like and want, have themselves relatively sorted etc.

I would agree but I think slice of life is a tricky balance sometimes. By nature, the plot won't be as exciting as a fantasy or sci-fi IF but you still need the characters to have strong motivations for their actions.

Anyway, I'm glad you're enjoying YLAF and hope you continue to do so! 💛

[a-lonely-dunedain]

For Ethedis, 3, 4, 8, & 32?

3. What is something they really like about themselves and what is something you really like about them?

so after Tur-Morva Searadan says this to Etheids "You find friends wherever you tread, and where they cannot be found you make them with kindness and generosity" and Ethedis, coming off what was probably the worst week of her life so far, just Latched Onto that. Searadan was totally right Ethedis IS friend-shaped and very much needed to hear that.

Something I like about her is the fact that she's just. So silly. Don't get me wrong I see the appeal of graceful somber ethereal elves, BUT i think a very underrated aspect of elves is how silly they can be. They sing silly songs outside Bilbo's window in the Last Homely House to be the world's most annoying alarm clock for one thing. Anyway I Ethedis has a lot of those fun traits of younger elves people don't seem to focus on much. idk I just like to see bright happy elves who are still so very much in love with the world! And just want to sing about everything they see! and befriend every new mortal they meet! (this will not backfire! surely!)

4. What is the thing they like the most about their friends and what is the thing their friends like the most about them?

What Ethedis likes about Corunir is... man there's A Lot (unsurprisingly), where do you even start? His unwavering devotion? His intelligence? The fact that he just cares SO much about her and everyone else? The great hugs he gives that just make her feel so safe and warm? His sweet smile she just can’t seem to see enough of? You just can't pick!

Ethedis also likes Tossdir's stubborn loyalty. She seems to have this habit of picking friends who simply Refuse to let her do dangerous things alone (of perhaps those are just the friends that tend to pick her). Sure she may have to face the Horrors of this war, but he's gonna make damn certain that she doesn't have to face them alone! Unfortunately they both seem to have a reckless streak a mile wide- Oh! that's another thing she likes about Corunir! He actually encourages them to think before jumping headfirst into danger, very important asset to their gang.

The thing about her that draws a lot of people to her initially is just her overall bright and approachable demeanor, she offers some much needed levity in these dark times. Some people think of her as naive for it, but those who have taken the time to get to know her understand that it is anything but. Her unwavering smile isn't born from a lack of understanding of their hopelessness, but a stubborn refusal to give into the despair she understands far too well, an instinct to laugh in the face of danger because sometimes that's the only thing you can do to rob it of its power, to believe this story WILL have a happy ending no mater how bleak things look because otherwise you have nothing to fight for.

8. What is a smell that makes them feel at home?

oh definitely whatever Elrond’ Library smells like. Reminds her of all the time she spent there buried in her studies, safe from the matters of he outside world, distracted from the grief of her parents… old books and scrolls but not really musty or dusty, it’s clean with the faint scents of dried herbs from the nearby Tham Send.

32. Draw or describe the silliest outfit you can think of. They now have it inside their wardrobe, but it’s a secret between you and them… unless someone finds out.

oh oh hang on, there's so many funny sets in this game let me find some

the Brestplate of the Aurochs has to be one of my favorite ridiculous items. it's just got. a whole Aurochs face on there. absurd

[my-chaos-radio]

Release: November 7, 1983

Lyrics:

Living on free food tickets

Water in the milk from a hole in the roof where the rain came through

What can you do, hmm?

Tears from your little sister

Crying because she doesn't have a dress without a patch for the party to go

But you know she'll get by

'Cause she's living in the love of the common people

Smiles from the heart of a family man (a-ah-e-ah)

Daddy's gonna buy you a dream to cling to

Mama's gonna love you just as much as she can (It's so cold)

And she can

It's a good thing you don't have a bus fare (it's a good thing, ah-chh)

It would fall through the hole in your pocket and you'd lose it in the snow on the ground (a-ah-e-ah)

You got to walk into town to find a job (what's enough?)

Tryin' to keep your hands warm (it's so cold)

When the hole in your shoe let the snow come through and chill you to the bone (brr-cha)

Somehow you'd better go home where it's warm

Where you can live in the love of the common people

Smile from the heart of a family man (a-ah-e-ah)

Daddy's gonna buy you a dream to cling to

Mama's gonna love you just as much as she can (it's so cold)

And she can

Living on a dream ain't easy

But the closer the knit the tighter the fit (closer the knit)

And the chills stay away (a-ah-e-ah)

'Cause we take 'em in stride for family pride

You know that faith is in your foundation (ooh-na, ooh-na, ooh-na, ooh-na)

With a whole lot of love and a warm conversation

But don't forget to pray (forget to pray)

It's makin' it strong, where you belong

And we're living in the love of the common people

Smiles from the heart of a family man (good to know)

Daddy's gonna buy you a dream to cling to

Mama's gonna love you just as much as she can (it's so cold)

And she can

Yes, we're living in the love of the common people

Smile's from the heart of a family man (a-ah-e-ah)

Daddy's gonna buy you a dream to cling to

Mama's gonna love you just as much as she can (it's so cold)

Living in the love of the common people

Smiles from the heart of a family man (good to know)

Daddy's gonna buy you a dream to cling to

Mama's gonna love you just as much as she can (it's so cold)

Songwriter:

Living in the love of the common people

Smile's really hard on a family man (a-ah-e-ah)

Daddy's gonna buy you a dream to cling to

Mama's gonna love you just as much as she can

And she can

Ronnie Wilkins / John Hurley

SongFacts:

The song tells a bleak story of poverty and unemployment. The opening lines mention "free ration cards," a reference to government food stamp and welfare programs. The family described in the song wears clothes and shoes with holes in them. The final verse, however, is more optimistic as it calls for not losing faith and keeping hope for improvement.

However, it seems possible that the song as a whole is meant sarcastically, since the constant reference to the love of the family and the reference to the importance of religious faith are in stark contrast to the completely hopeless economic situation, which is subjectively more bearable through love and faith alone may appear, but is not actually improved in the least. A strong indication of this is also the obviously euphemistic claim that not having money for the bus would be a good thing because then you can't lose the money, which would be feared because of the hole in your clothes. This form of extreme social satire to point out obvious grievances and the euphemism of dealing with them has a long tradition in the Enlightenment in Anglo-Saxon-speaking countries.

In 1983, Paul Young recorded the song for his album 'No Parlez'. When his version was first released, the cover failed to chart. It was only after the hits 'Wherever I Lay My Hat (That's My Home)' and 'Come Back and Stay' that Young's version of the song achieved international chart success when it was re-released on November 7, 1983. The synth pop and soft rock number became a number one hit in Ireland, the Netherlands, Belgium and Italy. The trombone solo was played by Rico Rodriguez.