#This is a memory and a half I don't see these trees very often in Scotland so they provoke a lot of Buckinghamshire nostalgia

[the-busy-ghost]

And here’s another delightful tree- the common spindle. 

Native to Europe (including Britain), its bright pink and orange fruits are poisonous but really enliven the landscape

Buckinghamshire, 2019

[ketterdamskaelishprince]

episode 100, mr raven what the fuck

obviously since i'll be talking about episode 100 i'm going to just put it out there that if you haven't read episode 100 yet then do not read this. then again, this is all in vague reference to the episode and i'm mostly just using bits and pieces to back up my previous idea.

(this is taken from ep 99 pls chill i'm not dishing out spoilers)

anyways, if we continue to ep 100, we see MORE EVIDENCE FOR THAT WIERD DEER THING BEING THEO.

"and for you, especially" shouts to me specifically about this. as previously stated, i have the most insane and stupid thought that the weird deer-monster-bone-tree thing from episode one (you know what i'm talking about), is theo's spectre.

as stated before, the most compelling evidence i have for this is the fact that theo was known to hunt deer a lot, and the thing we see in episode one looks a lot like a deer skull, just with loads of red eyes placed into the cracks and such. and we know from the first episode that it seemed to flock towards lenore and annabel. or at least i think it sort of seems to go towards them.

and you, know i could've been wrong– except look at this from ep 100:

now, obviously the first part practically proves the fact something is following lenore, and that this something is (potentially!!!) theo's spectre. but i think what proves it more is what mr raven says next.

"close as a second shadow"

someone on tumblr (i cannot remember who) pointed out that annabel and lenore's like fates are almost reversed? and how lenore who once had nothing to loose now has everything, and annabel is vice versa. and you know, first of all, amazing take. delicious. fantastic. whoever this was, please please please make yourself known to me pookie i'm gna worship the ground you walk on because you've given me thoughts !!!

from this "second shadow" talk, i wonder if the idea of reversal spreads through more than just lenore and annabel's relationship. in life, theo was the star violinist whilst lenore was the accompanist, the piano player.

musically, lenore was his shadow.

of course, this is a very generalised take. as somebody who plays both piano and flute, i'm not going to go out and say that the piano player is just background noise when it's a duet, but more often then not the piano stands aside so that the violin (in these situations) can shine.

n life, lenore lives behind theo's shadow, and when he dies she's haunted by it.

when she looks in the mirror, she sees theo as she cuts her hair. she sees him everywhere. in his life, she was the the dark shadow that loomed– but in death he always behind her, always the dark looming figure that follows her. her guilt binds with his memory and forms that dark looming thought that nobody wants to discuss.

and so, to me, it makes perfect sense that this little deer-tree-bone-monster thing is theo.

but then, obviously, as i look at all of this, there is the glaring question of why in the first episode this monster looked like it really wanted to chomp on lenore and annabel's limbs. and you know, typically, siblings don't want to cannibalise each other.

i see your point, and i respond back with these three panels:

lenore goes on to explain that their bloodline has been plagued by madness, misfortune and death. then, take a look at what the raven says of how spirits "oft" are "driven to madness" by their desire for souls.

i think this connects, because idk i just think it does. could be totally wrong, but i think (???) theo (???) somehow escaped to try get back to lenore and go to the threshold (???) but got trapped in that spooky place, and his only defence left was his spectre (???) and so, by staying in it too long, he too was "driven to madness" which probably wasn't helped by the vandernacht curse (???). he might be half forgotten in his own mind, but he knows one thing right now: he wants to find lenore, his sister. he might not remember her as his sister, but he knows her name and an image is there in her mind. so when she arrives, he must get to her.

anyways guys, that's it. ignore me. i yap a lot. i know i don't know a lot and i'm sure there's a few fastpassers out there who are laughing because i'm being silly, but let me delude myself :)

[wallydrling]

a billion trillion kisses (for you)

pairing: wally darling/reader

rating: g

author's note: gender neutral reader to the best of my ability, probably some discrepancies having to do with the lore, i made wally taller lol

ao3 (it's formatted so much better on there. i hate u tumblr!)

You’d moved to Home last Spring, on one of the rainiest days the little town had ever seen.

Looking back now, it’s a fond memory. But at the time, rain pouring down from the sky, soaking your hair and your clothes and all your cardboard boxes, it’d been miserable. You remember just wanting to crawl beneath a canopy tree and cry. Your boxes of books had all fallen apart, landing on the wet pavement outside of your house. Your favorite shoes were ruined, covered up to the laces in mud. It felt like a sign. Something sent from the universe, urging you to turn around and leave. To go back to where you came from.

Only, you couldn’t remember where that was. You still can’t.

And right as you’d given up, settling on your front porch with your face buried in your hands, the clouds parted. Metaphorically, of course. The sky continued to cry. But, a set of footsteps headed towards you, sloshing in the puddles that had formed, and you’d peeked between your fingers to see–him. All lean legs, and a deep, blue cardigan with hair to match, covered up in a red raincoat. He’d been wearing loafers, then. Something you’d come to familiarize yourself with, something you’d later recognize as his signature. He walked towards you with all the confidence in the world, and a bright smile on his face.

“Hi there, new neighbor!” He called out, loud enough to be heard over the rain. “I’m Wally. I live just over that way,” he pointed over his shoulder with his thumb. “I couldn’t help but notice all of these books lying on the ground, and then I saw you and thought, ‘Oh, looks like they need help!’ So, here I am.”

His very presence had seemed so outlandish back then; so unreal. His will to lend a helping hand had felt a little bit degrading. Someone as bright as him, bursting with color and cheer, coming to stand in front of you on such a horrendous day. You’d wanted to be mad, to snap at him to go away. You remember that you hadn’t really felt like socializing, then.

But before you could get a single word out, Wally knelt to the ground, and began gathering your books in his arms. They were covered in mud, and dripping rainwater. They dirtied his cardigan as he held them to his chest, but he didn’t seem to mind. Once he had his arms full of them, he stepped around you, and walked straight into your house. Like he lived there, too. Like it would’ve been silly of him to wait for an invitation.

Shocked at his boldness, you sprung to your feet, hot on his heels. You watched with big, wide eyes as he set your books down on the floor. The carpet was covered in muck and water, and Wally even more so; the mud on his cardigan would likely stain, and his rainbow pants were patchy with water. His hair, still half-styled in a pompadour despite the heavy rain, dripped rain down his yellow cheeks. He wiped his hands off on his pants, and flashed a bright smile at you.

“Do you need some help getting the other boxes in here?” He’d asked.

You blinked at him, once. Twice. Had no idea what to make of him. And then, subtly, you nodded. “Yeah. That’d…that’d be appreciated.”

So, that’s how you met your best friend.

Only, now, that terminology is beginning to feel incorrect. Because Wally is a friend, yes, and he is best in the sense that he is your favorite in all of Home (Julie would positively lose it if you said that aloud), but it's been a year of living in this town; of seeing his bright smile, and hearing his awkward, warm laughter nearly every day. It's been easy to hold Frank, Eddie, and even Howdy at a distance–two of the three are already a pair, and you don't see them nearly as often as you do Wally. Even Julie only shows up knocking at your door a couple of times a week.

You and Wally have become near-inseparable. If you aren't taking walks, stopping to cloud gaze every so often, then you're painting together. If you aren't painting together, you're ransacking the bodega, or arranging weekend picnics in the park for all of the residents. And if you aren't doing any of those things, then the both of you are curled up on your sofa, flipping through magazines, or reading poetry together. It isn't even a conscious thought anymore; not on your end, at least. It's become so normal to wake up, go about your morning routine, and then meet up with Wally come noon.

The other residents are getting suspicious, to say the least. Julie hounds you about it each time you have a sleepover (at least twice a week), Eddie has started wiggling his eyebrows in your general direction each time he sees you together, and even Howdy in all of his obliviousness gives you a picnic basket of food randomly one weekend for, "your date with Wally. On the house!"

You're not sure if the others are teasing Wally as much as they're teasing you, or if he'd even notice, but you know it's only a matter of time before someone makes an implication that you can't come back from. You're essentially bracing yourself for the question, the one everyone has yet to ask–what are you guys?

Julie is hosting a 'color-by-numbers' event at her house this evening, and nearly everyone will be in attendance. And if they asked you the question, you wouldn't have an answer. Not a clear one, anyway. You and Wally are friends; you can say that with confidence. You're each other's confidants. Wally has told you things he's never told anyone else. How Barnaby has spent a lot of time teaching him how to recognize his emotions, and how he gets lonely, sometimes. Was almost always lonely before you moved to Home. How he is so scared to lose you and the others, the anxiety of the thought alone renders him paralyzed if he thinks about it for too long. He trusts you, and you trust him, and you love him, even more so. You don't really know what to make of that.

So, there isn't one answer to the question of what are you guys? There are a dozen, jumbled and criss-crossed and tangled, and you can't pull them apart alone. You'd need Wally's help, and that would mean confessing, and you're not willing to do that. It could ruin everything.

When late afternoon rolls around, you're ready to go. You're wearing your favorite outfit, and your hair is styled to perfection. You've even put perfume on; the kind Howdy made for you from fresh berries, and you don't know why that matters or if Wally can even smell, but–

You're getting ahead of yourself. Getting nervous. Now isn't the time for a freak-out. You take one last look in the mirror, steel your shoulders, and set off for Julie's house.

"Yay, you're here!" Julie throws open the door, tugging you inside before you even get the chance to knock. "You're the last guest to arrive. Now we can really get the party started!"

You wave at the others as you step into the living room. Sally is here, serenading Barnaby with a ballad you've never heard before while he closes his eyes, nodding along with her voice. Eddie and Frank are bickering about something, but Eddie is borderline giggling, so you know it isn't serious. Howdy is getting his paints all lined up in a row, face pinched in concentration. And Wally is sitting in front of the couch, back propped up against it. Your eyes meet his, and he smiles at you softly, stealing the breath from your throat. You stare at him for longer than is appropriate, and you know this because Julie clears her throat quietly, and pulls you to sit down on the floor next to her.

"Everyone got their color-by-number sheets, paints, and brushes?" Julie asks just as she places a sheet of paper in front of you. "Let's begin, then!"

It's fun. It always is, with this group. Barnaby is teasing Julie for painting outside of the lines, and Sally and Howdy have turned it into a competition to see who can finish their painting the fastest. You're happy, laughing along and trying not to spill paint water as you bump elbows with those around you. No one is as good an artist as Wally, but they certainly try, and he's all too happy to help Barnaby get the tiny bits with a detail brush, or help Eddie select the best shade of red. He makes polite conversation, and tells these silly little jokes that aren't really that funny but everyone laughs anyway, and even offers to clean the brushes once the paintings are finished, but–something isn't right. You can tell by looking at him that he's got something on his mind. His eyes are foggy, and his smile doesn't quite stretch his face the way it usually does.

He heads into the kitchen with a cup of dirty paintbrushes, and you quietly murmur to Julie, "I'm going to go help him. Be right back."

You don't give her time to react before you're on your feet, hurrying after him. You sidle up to him, silently watching as he runs each brush under the water, using his fingers to clear the paint away. He doesn't turn to look at you, and so you duck your head forward to try and catch his gaze. He positively avoids eye contact.

Okay. So, something is upsetting him, then.

"Wally?" You try, keeping your voice even. "Are you alright?

He's silent for a moment, hands stilling beneath the faucet. And then, "No. Not really."

He is never usually this upfront about his emotions. New to acknowledging them, he typically spends a lot of time deciphering what he's even feeling before discussing it with you. You'd just seen him yesterday. He was fine and happy and sweet as he dropped you off at your home, and waved goodbye. This–the coolness to his voice, and the stilted look on his face– is a recent development.

"You're mad at me," you say, slowly. The words don't feel right on your tongue. The two of you never fight. You've never even seen him angry. "Aren't you?"

He drops the paint brushes into the sink and sighs. Actually sighs. "No. Not mad at you."

"Mad at something I did, then?" You ask.

He turns to look at you, finally. He is nearly the same height as you, just a tiny bit shorter, but he's able to look directly into your eyes. His mouth is stiff and straight, and you hadn't noticed from far away, but his eyes look dull up close. Lifeless.

"Barnaby said something to me, earlier today," he tells you. "I've been thinking about it."

"Okay," you nod, unsure of where this is going.

"He said, 'if they haven't returned your feelings by now, it's probably because they don't feel the same way, pal,'" Wally does his best Barnaby impression, but it's too slow and a little flat. "And then you came inside, and you sat next to Julie and Howdy! So, I think it must be true. And I am very, very not happy about that. Very…sad. Yes, that's it. I'm sad."

Your heart does this weird thing in your chest, and your stomach tightens. His feelings? What exactly are they specifically? You've upset him, somehow, without even meaning to. You've made him sad without getting a say-so. If he'd just talk to you, you could explain. You could clear things up.

You reach out to take his hand. Physical affection is still new to him, and you know that. You try to be careful; try not to push him. He is learning more and more every single day, and you know that he's grown to love hand-holding. You tangle your fingers with his, and his cheeks go a little pink. You can't stop staring at them.

"Wally," you begin, trying to keep your voice level despite the butterflies in your belly fluttering around because of his touch. "Remember a few months ago, when we talked about how you have to tell me when you're feeling lonely, because I can't just know all on my own?"

He nods. "I remember."

You flash him a small, gentle smile. "Good. Okay, so–all emotions are like that. You have to tell someone what you're feeling. They can't see into your mind."

"But," he starts in a huff, foot tapping against the tiled floor, "Barnaby said-"

"I know what he said," you carefully cut in, giving his hand a little squeeze. "But, this is just like when you're lonely. I can't understand how to help, or make you feel better until you tell me about it. Okay?" He nods. "Alright, so…why don't you try and explain what feelings I supposedly haven't returned."

"It's hard," he says. He lets go of your hand, and leans back against the countertop. "It's different from sadness, or loneliness. I know what they feel like. And I know happiness, too, and even anger. But this is–I don't know what to call it."

You hum, mulling over his words. "Well, can you tell me what it feels like? Physically, I mean. Like when you're sad and your eyes burn, or when you're lonely and your chest hurts."

"It's like," he closes his eyes for a moment. "Hot. My cheeks feel warm, like when I help Poppy take her cookies out of the oven, and the air hits my face."

"Okay," you say. "Good. Keep going."

"And sometimes my stomach, just–I don't know. It feels like there are tiny worms inside, wriggling around," he says.

You think you understand what he's trying to explain. What feeling he's attempting to map. You know it all too well; have been beating it back with a stick to keep it at bay in his presence for weeks and weeks. Still, you don't want to project anything onto him. So, you wave a hand and urge him to continue.

"Sometimes, when you hug Julie, I just get so mad," he murmurs. He is looking at you now, all wide eyes and clenched fists down by his sides. "And when you and Sally go on walks, and she holds your hand, I can't-" He cuts himself off, and takes a deep breath. "Barnaby says it isn't fair to feel like that. He says it's selfish, but I just–I can't help it."

Your lungs seem to stop working within your body, air stuck in your throat. You can't open your mouth; can't unhinge your jaw. You have no way to expel it.

"When you hold my hand, it tingles," he takes a step towards you. "I made Barnaby teach me how to hug because I wanted to do it with you."

You remember that whole debacle. When you first moved to Home, about a month into your friendship, you'd tried to give Wally a hug. He had totally gone limp in your arms, unaware of how to even hug back. And then, suddenly, a couple of weeks later, he'd gotten better. Was able to slide one arm around your waist. It progressed further with more experience, and now, he is perhaps the best hug-giver in all of Home.

You blink at him. Manage to wheeze out, "You learned how to hug…for me?"

"Yes," he nods. He takes another step towards you, the toes of your shoes touching, and the look in his eyes cannot be described as anything but hopeful. He raises both hands up, up, and cups your cheeks. "I've been watching Frank and Eddie a lot. Barnaby says they have a special kind of love. That they–they're partners, and they've promised themselves to each other."

Your ears are practically on fire, your entire face so hot you know Wally must be able to feel its warmth.

His thumb swipes along the apple of your cheek. "I know that their touches are special. Different from how Barnaby and I touch, or Julie and Sally do. I want–I've been watching them, and I want to have what they have, with you."

"Sometimes, they say 'I love you' to each other, and I know they mean that in a special way, too," He smiles now, soft. Rose-petal delicate around the edges. "I want-"

"Wally," you squeeze your eyes shut so tight you see pops of color behind the lids. Your heart feels as though it is clambering for an escape, trying to make its way up your throat. "Stop, please. I can't–you don't even understand what you're saying right now. You don't know what love is. You don't know what it means."

"That's not fair," he whispers. He brings your face closer to his. "You asked me to explain, so I did. And it isn't–it's not fair for you to decide what I do or don't understand. I'm trying my best."

"I know," you say on an exhale.

"I told you how I feel," he goes on.

"I know," you echo.

"And I know what it means to want to hold someone," he murmurs. "I know, now. I didn't before."

"Before what?" You ask, despite your better judgement.

His eyes sparkle, just a little. Just enough. "Before you."

"Love is a heavy thing, Wally," you tell him. Your knees feel weak, and this is so hard to take in, so hard to conceptualize because you've never let yourself entertain the thought before. But you're trying to get the words out, for him. He deserves your honesty. "When you promise yourself to someone, it's difficult to take it back."

"I wouldn't want to take it back," he rushes out. One of his hands moves around to press against the base of your neck. "Why would I want to take it back?"

"Well," you begin, slow, "you could become unsure-"

"I won't," he interrupts, impatient and jittery.

"You could decide that you didn't mean it."

"Never," he says, almost startled. "If this feeling in my belly and my head and my chest is love, I don't–I'll do everything I can to make sure that it never goes away."

"There are lots of ways to love somebody," you argue, but it sounds weak, even to your own ears. Futile. You are fighting a losing battle, and you know it.

"Stop," he pleads, resting his forehead against yours. He closes his eyes. "Just tell me. Was Barnaby right? Do you really not feel the…the same way about me?"

You laugh at this, wet and sticky in the back of your throat. "Has Barnaby ever been right about anything?" You tease.

"Rarely," Wally says with a grin.

"I love you," you tell him. "Like, the same way that Frank and Eddie love each other. I love you like a promise."

"Like a promise," he repeats. He moves back, far enough that you can see how big his smile stretches his face, but he's still got one palm on your cheek, and the other on your neck. "Like-"

He leans forward and presses a closed-mouth kiss to your lips, pulling away with a little smack, and a triumphant, "Muah!"

Your eyes go so wide you fear they might roll out of your head, and your face is so hot it might as well be spewing flames. Wally is standing there, looking pleased with himself and the tiniest bit smug, and a laugh startles its way up your throat like bubbles. You playfully shove at his shoulder, and fall into him as you laugh harder.

"I saw Frank and Eddie do that, too," he tells you, one arm wrapping around your waist.

"Of course you did," you mumble into his neck, grin splitting your face. "That's not–it wasn't quite right, but the effort was there."

"I'll get better with practice," he says.

Scandalized, you pull away to look at him, mouth agape. "Wally Darling! Are you flirting with me right now?"

"Yes," he says, blunt. He smiles bright and pretty, and boops your nose with his finger. "I've read two of Julie's romance books. I'm a very fast learner."

You return his smile, and press a hand to your chest, right over your heart. You feel positively full to bursting, and you know that, whatever comes next, things won't be smooth sailing always. Wally has a lot of growing to do, and you're going to have to learn to support him along the way. Love is not clear-cut; isn't written in permanent ink on notebook paper. It ebbs and flows like watercolor paint, and can wash away as quickly as it came.

But–Wally looks at you, skin yellow-orange beneath the dull, overhead lights, and he grins wide and infectious and so, so pretty. He leans forward to press another kiss to your cheek, smacking a second, "muah!" into your ear, and it isn't everything. It isn't an answer, or the end-all be-all. But it is good, and right. And it is enough.

[sunflowervoltwentyeight]

Happy 28th! Here is my March 2024 fic rec, organized by word count, from longest to shortest. You can view my other fic recs here. Enjoy!

Sunshine, Baby! by staybeautiful / @harruandlou (106k)

Louis was the first one down the row for their group. If he hadn’t been they would have never met.

He was turned around, walking backwards and saying to Liam, “No, I’ll get you to a real footie match next,” when he bumped into someone.

“Oops,” Louis laughed, tripping over his own feet. A hand curled around his upper arm as he nearly fell over the seat in front of him. “Sorry about that, mate.”

He turned around, still teetering in his vans, to apologize again, but the words dried in his throat. Another hand gripped his other elbow, steadying him, but all Louis could see were green eyes and dimples.

“Hi,” the man laughed, a bright, bubbling sound. “Are you okay?”

Or Louis is in his first year of law school, Harry is a junior on the swim team dreaming of the Olympics, and they both agree that they don't have time for anything more than friends with benefits... right?

Follow Your Arrow by Anonymous (78k)

Harry was the golden child, blessed in every way; Niall was the charming miscreant, a bad boy; Liam was the future-son-in-law parents of daughters dreamt of, and Zayn was the kid parents wished was their son. But Louis, Harry thought, Louis was the special one. 

It's senior year and everything is about to change.

Where We Landed by blueskiesrry / @blueskiesrry (70k)

The leaves were green the last time Harry stepped foot in Holmes Chapel, a stark contrast to the candy apple, butterscotch painting them now, years later. Harry first notices them on the train, gazing out the window with a downturned mouth. A warm something floods his stomach–memories, Harry imagines, of him as a boy, longing for the days when he’d live elsewhere and have to take this very train home for the holidays. He wonders how it’s possible to have once felt eager and euphoric at the sight of changing leaves yet now to feel nothing but tired. He sighs softly, turning away from the trees to look at his daughter, half-curled in his lap, asleep.

or: harry returns to his hometown with his sick daughter and more reminders than he bargained for of the boy he once loved when he left a handful of years ago

You'll Always Find Your Way Back Home by styleandsin / @styleandsin (43k)

Now, as he’s standing in the doorway, he’s trying not to get choked up. He hadn’t realized how much he missed this: the smell of his mother’s baking, the sounds of each of his family members, the sight of some of his old toys scattered about the foyer where his littlest siblings had presumably left them. All these things scream home, and he hadn’t felt at home since he left this house eight years ago.

 Louis needs a break from everything, from acting and the constant pressure of life in LA. He decides to move back home for a bit, some time with his family is exactly what can lift his spirits. What he doesn't expect is to fall in love. Both with the town he hated so much so that he couldn't wait to leave it years ago and with a curly haired florist that was the complete opposite of the guys he'd often meet in LA.

Something About Liminal Spaces by kingsofeverything / @kingsofeverything (34k)

Searching for inspiration for his latest book, and hoping distance will help heal his broken heart, Louis Tomlinson heads to the village of Piha on the west coast of New Zealand’s north island.

There he meets Harry Styles.

Fifteen years older than Harry, Louis tries to keep his distance, but Harry is impossible to avoid and harder to ignore.

At Risk, I Fold by clare328 / @bearmustard (15k)

2015 is a stream of hotel rooms and whisky on the rocks, tired glances and touching hands under tables. It’s the bears and the bees under a rainbow sky, and Harry and Louis have to figure out how to grow up together, instead of apart.

Wedding Bells Will Never Ring For Me by lousmoonshine / @lousmoonshine (14k)

After a failed proposal a few years back, Louis gets an unexpected invitation to his ex - Harry’s – wedding

Some Kind of Night Into Your Darkness (Colors Your Eyes With What's Not There) by larryismylifesource (5k)

Harry’s body buzzes with heat, like a current underneath his skin, because it’s been too long and his husband is right here and for once they have no obligations other than each other and he just wants.

“Lou.”

And Louis must sense it, the way the atmosphere shifts against him, the way Harry’s eyes get all big and dark with need, because he meets Harry’s gaze and then yanks him down for another kiss.

or, the boys get a day off in the middle of tour and harry and louis use it to their advantage

[casasupernovas]

so many harry potter fans completely erase snape's past and write it over to make him a snobby rich kid who speaks like he's a 40 year old count and i think it is so interesting.

because it proves to me that the reality of snape being a kid living in a poverty stricken and abusive household on spinner's end makes you all uncomfortable.

i sure know it made me uncomfortable to re-read the books for the first time and see all the comments about his greasy hair and sallow skin with the new knowledge that these were markers of his poor upbringing. we've heard the saying how being poor never really goes away. snape keeping these two markers as an adult is the author's way of doing it. he's an adult with a better income now but he never quite shakes off spinner's end.

he also stays there as an adult as a way to punish himself, if the front room described as a 'padded cell" is any indicator. he can't move on and he won't allow himself to, and dumbledore won't allow it either. it is he who twists the knife with harry's eyes and tells him this is the only thing he can do to prove he truly loved lily. despite you know, dumbledore apparently not believing this due to his shock at snape's patronus 17 years later.

both times in snape's past when he butts heads with petunia is because she insults his background, something he cannot control. she calls him the 'snape boy' from spinner's end, a clearly 'turn up my nose' moment. harry goes through most books referring to snape as 'snape' because snape is a bully and therefore does not have harry's respect. many times adults correct him to say professor. and his first name isn't said often. so this puts a distance to him, almost others him to this 2D character. but 'snape' is an actual person, with feelings and a past, present and future. so severus snape doesn't take kindly to people insulting his family which is why he claps back at petunia.

we also know snape is a muggle name, his muggle father tobias' name. we only find out in book 6 that snape is a half blood. because what wizarding family do you know with the name 'snape'. and prince isn't part of the sacred 28 either. when harry breaks into snape's memories accidentally in occlumency, seeing those three quick snapshots of his life, it's the first time snape starts to become a real person to harry.

moreover, 8 year old snape is described as dirty, unwashed, wearing clothes that are so mismatched it looks deliberate. he hasn't got clothes of his own, wearing an adults jacket and a woman's smock. snape's family either cannot afford to properly clothe or wash their child or they simply don't care too. when petunia insults him again, this time instead of his father she goes for his mother, as she points out snape wearing his mother's blouse, we get another example of underage magic as he causes a tree branch to fall on her.

now despite this, we know it is likely snape really did want to cause her harm due to her insult. snape already is shown to have poor social skills and snaps rather quickly at any point of animosity, but he was also raised in an abusive household. his father whipped him, and shouted at his mother and god knows what else. makes sense that an 8 year old responds to tension with either insults or violence, mirroring his home. snape is also very reluctant to talk about his homelife at all, ending the conversation very pointedly with "he doesn't like anything much." so it's not surprising that a child raised in this kind of environment would respond violently. even worse, he does it without really realising what he has done considering he looked confused when petunia and lily ran away.

on platform 9 and 3/4, snape is eager to get out of his muggle clothes and when put next to james potter, the stark difference between someone who has been loved and adored and someone who hasn't is explicitly put in the books. and lastly when snape calls lily a mudblood after being yanked upside down exposing dirty underwear, lily points that out. her way of saying 'don't you dare say you are better than me - im filthy? how about you wash your clothes.'

all in all, i think the fans write over this backstory because people do not want to give snape any sympathy. he's not the right kind of sympathetic character. he's an unpleasant adult who made terrible decisions. therefore his tragedy doesn't count. it's much easier to hate him when in your head, snape is a rich, snobby supremacist, rather than a penniless, neglected and woefully misguided teenager.

odd that peope can understand the impact of certain characters childhoods like sirius, regulus, draco or harry and how it affected their actions as teens and later adults...

but not snape.

in fact, snape is probably the poorest character in the entire series apart from maybe voldemort, although the orphanage didn't seem underfunded or anything. fans characterise lupin as poor but there is little evidence for him being poor as a child, more as an adult. i've seen people say this was because of the fact that his father worked at the ministry and arthur weasley worked there and he is not rich but the weasley's are poor because there are 7 of them living on one income. and we can assume lupin's muggle mother worked. if anything, lupin's childhood was comfortable but became unstable due to them constantly moving after he was bitten.

and that's pretty much it, we don't know too much about anyone else. the dursleys are middle class as are hemrione's dentist parents and while the weasley's are poor, they are not poverty stricken - ron never goes hungry. snape also never really adresses his muggle past either. he doesnt bring it up ever. for all his 'life is unfair', he never speaks about that part of his life, choosing to solely reference the marauders. and the two main bullies, james and sirius both being rich kids bullying the poor boy is not lost on me. especially when they constantly reference his greasy hair all the time.

poverty greatly affects a person well into adulthood and we see with snape; it never really goes away. sure he's well spoken now, and doesn't wear mismatched muggle clothing but the remnants are still there. in fact, one of the reasons he hates harry intially is because he thinks the boy has been pampered. quite unlike his upbringing. so i think it's telling how many people refuse to acknowledge its very existence or the how it shaped snape as a person.

because i think it all makes you feel really uncomfortable. why else would you ignore or completely erase it?

[stxrrynxghts]

Droupadi Headcanons

I like Droupadi more than Draupadi. IDK, it looks more...aesthetic to me, lol. The palaash tree headcanon is by @hum-suffer

She (and Dhrishtadyumna) are the middle children of the family. They have five elder brothers, and five younger ones.

She is the only girl, and it makes her crave female companionship.

Droupadi had bad handwriting in the initial years, since she was just learning how to write. She also suffered from dyslexia during this time.

She is tall, by female standards.

Droupadi prefers to be addressed as Krishnā.

She likes wearing red, but her favorite color is green. She loves nature.

She is good at math.

She suffered from social anxiety and fear of public speaking in the initial years of her marriage. She eventually got out of it.

Droupadi is an aspiring botanist. She loves studying about anything plant-related.

She hates horse-riding.

She loves to wear her hair in a half bun.

Droupadi and Dhrishtadyumna frequently send each other letters filled with gossip, ranging from three to five letters per day. Their birds work very hard to deliver those letters on time.

She is VERY infuriated by Dhrishtadyumna's antics, mostly.

She dislikes sweets. *sed Bhima noises*

Droupadi loves travelling. She loves different kinds of sceneries. Nakul and Arjun always paint something for her, whenever they visit a new kingdom.

She loves to promote local crafts.

Droupadi likes making new gardens in Indraprastha and Panchal. She even sends ideas for gardens back home, to her mother.

Droupadi always calms down Satyabhama when the latter loses her temper.

Her favorite parent is her mom.

Droupadi always wanted multiple daughters.

Prativindhya and Shrutakarma are her favorites (don't tell them, pls.) However, no one knows about this.

Droupadi was very confused and scared of motherhood. Her mother shifted to Indraprastha temporarily, to help her out.

Satyabhama and Dhrishtadyumna are her besties.

Droupadi never played games like tag and hide n seek as a child, so she and Subhadra play it regularly.

Droupadi loves ponds.

She is a light sleeper.

Even after she gained so much experience, Droupadi is still somewhat innocent. She does not understand manipulative techniques and gets confused easily.

She was very depressed after the game of dice. She always thought "why me?" and cried and cried for weeks, in the forest.

She never quite forgave her husbands for it, especially Yudhishthira.

Her back and thighs were bruised after the game of dice.

Droupadi did not want her sons to stay away from her, but she was convinced to send them to Panchal, so she did.

She avoids everyone whenever her period comes, post the game of dice. It brings back traumatic memories for her.

Droupadi exchanges many letters with her sons, co-wives, parents, brothers and sisters-in-law during the exile.

She always cries after reading Prativindhya and Shatanika's angst-filled letters.

She distributed the jewelry Arjun brought from heaven between her nieces and nephews. She didn't have anything else to gift them.

Droupadi finds it hard to strike a conversation with her sons post exile, but she is trying.

All of her sons belongings' were burned on day 18, except the few they had left back in Panchal. Droupadi does not allow anyone else to touch or see them.

Droupadi was never short-tempered, but post war, her mood is bitter, melancholic and cranky often.

She had portraits of her sons, but all of them, except Shrutasena's, were destroyed.

She spent her time with plants, post the war. It was a way of coping, for her.

Droupadi tries to stay in Panchal or Dvaraka mostly, post war. It's better than living in Hastinapur or Indraprastha, at least.

Droupadi and Sudeshna become pen-pals, post war.

Whenever she is in Hastinapur, she avoids the courtroom at all costs.

Droupadi helps Parikshit plant palaash and rhododendron saplings. They are the favorite flowers of his parents.

Droupadi plants the favorite flowers of all of her loved ones who are now gone

She hears what Yudhishthira said about her before she died, and it hurts her very much.

She hits her head on a rock after falling, and slowly bleeds to death.

[yslende]

cabin 16 ー children of nemesis headcanons

| author's note: yeah i only really made this because i figured out that nemesis would be my godly parent. quite a few of these are based on me. probably not going to do any more of these, if only because i'd be unable to emulate this amount of detail again.

vindictive. do i even need to say it.

ambidextrous. the lot of them.

all of them have stares that seem like they look right through you. 

insane resting bitch and poker faces. nothing shows unless they explicitly let it.

⬆️ however, any emotion they feel, they feel it STRONGLY. happiness? more like euphoria. sadness? more like depression. annoyance? more like fury. (the furies *wish* they had what nemesis kids do.)

they're the type of people to be fashionable by default because all they wear is black, red, and Leather Jacket (which is a color in itself.)

⬆️ despite this, they don't mind the camp shirts, if only because everyone else is wearing them.

three options: read rulebooks for fun, be the reason rules are created, or both. 

they treat death like a trip to the dentist: an unpleasant inevitability. 

unshakeable loyalty. once you've got a nemesis demigod on your side, they'll follow you to tartarus and back.

⬆️ likewise, if you harm them or their friends, there is nothing they won't do to get back at you. nothing is beneath them. be terrified.

natural skeptics. nemesis is a daughter of nyx, so some of her kids have likely been to the underworld. they've met shades. even so, they'll passionately argue against the existence of ghosts.

weirdly good memory. of course, they remember every insult said about them, but they also remember how many arrows you shot into the woods at archery practice last tuesday. especially good with remembering strings of letters or numbers.

⬆️ they're some of the few demigods that can do math. they do it for fun, that's how bad it is.

really good at strategy, but often people don't go along with their plans. see: nothing is beneath them.

geese fucking love them. a common sight at chb is watching geese try and bite everyone's faces off, then trip over themselves to be pet like drugged cats by the nemesis cabin.

all super good at board games, especially chess, settlers of catan, and monopoly. uno skills are 50/50.

they're the type of people to save every deus ex machina item in a video game for later, and then proceed to never use them.

great sense of balance. they're great at tightropes, and can do triple pirouettes (a type of turn in ballet) easily. they like perching in trees and watching during capture the flag if they're not fighting.

if you're unwilling to debate or close-minded, be prepared to find spiders in your underwear. *especially* if you're an athena kid.

⬆️ probably have a tarantula as a cabin pet, named 'houdini,' because he keeps ""escaping"" to the athena cabin. it's super unfortunate like that.

⬆️ they also probably have a favorite wild goose, too. 

there are no extroverted nemesis demigods. if one seems like an extrovert, they're either in denial or masking super hard.

they're the type of people to do all of the group project work alone. they have no patience for anyone who can't pull their weight.

each have their own methods of organization. if you touch their stuff you will die. they always know.

can't sleep without the ends of their blankets tucked underneath the mattress and the sides perfectly even. it just feels off to them.

socialism. communism. literally anything except pro-capitalist. look at me in my face and tell me i'm wrong.

optimistic pessimism? very 'the glass is half-empty, but at least there's something in there' vibes.

about as blunt as a club. if you want the brutal truth, ask a nemesis kid about your swordsmanship. you'll come out crying.

they take things very literally. jokes often fly over their head, but they catch sarcasm and veiled insults faster than hermes runs. 

always take things seriously. even things that aren't supposed to be taken seriously. like 'packing rocks in snowballs' seriously.

all of them despise bullies with all of their being. there isn't a nemesis demigod who won't introduce their knee to a bully's crotch for fun. hades, they'll *pay* you to let them do it.

their fighting skills and athleticism increase when serving justice, revenge, or vengeance. like normally, they're really good, but then someone steals their marshmallow or something and then they get REALLY good.

like to put extra effort into scaring and prank new campers before being nice to them. trial by fire, i guess.

however, after the inital hazing, they protect unclaimed kids with their lives. again, see: nothing is beneath them.

want to know everything, including but not limited to why you didn't put any grapes on your plate to every single reason why your godly parent acts the way they do towards you. once again, see: nothing is beneath them.

fight best with either a sword or a shield, but they're especially good with both. 

(sidenote: their favorite swords would probably be executioners' swords, which imo are super fucking cool. their favorite shields would probably be aspis (roman: clipeus) but specifically the ones with faces or figures carved in them.)

nemesis isn't a super caring mother tbh. she punishes her children mercilessly if they do something wrong or malicious. however, likewise, she praises them lavishly whenever they complete a quest or do something that demonstrates the power of cabin 16.

⬆️ her kids either have huge problems with authority or zero problems with authority. most swing wildly between the two, but that's what balance means, right?

friends with cabins: 1, 5, 8, 13, 15, 20

chill with cabins: 3, 9, 12, 14, 17, 19

does not get along with cabins: 4, 6, 7, 10, 11, 18

[sapphirelass]

In my Blood ~ Will Solace x Sister!Reader

Hi you guys! Wow, it's been over a year😅 I'm still working toward my uni degree (physics, maths and upper secondary school education for those of you who don't know), spending time with my boyfriend, hanging out with friends, and visiting my family as often as I can. I promise I have done a fair bit of writing this past year, just not finished anything... But, here we are! Really looking forward to the PJO-series, but while we're all waiting, here's a Will imagine because Will is great <3

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To read as xOC, click here

Words: 2500 ish

Warnings: injury, blood, wounds, angst (normal demigod stuff really, but you know)

Please note that English isn't my first language! I have studied it for over a decade, and speak it fluently, but there might still be some grammatical errors and a mix of British/American expressions - thanks for understanding :)

y/n - your name

y/n/n - your nickname

she/her reader

Enjoy! :)

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“Get down!” she shouted, as a giant, angry, terrifying cyclops approached them. “Listen closely now; do you see that huge pine tree over there? And the statue? Run past them, and you’ll find people who’ll help. I’ll try to buy you as much time as possible!”

The two seven-year-old half-bloods that had just been saved and brought to camp (well, almost anyway) sat off towards the border, as (y/n) Solace, daughter of Apollo, stayed behind and pulled her sword out. She was a way more advanced archer than swordfighter, but the one bow she had brought with her had fallen out of her firm grip as she jumped behind a boulder for cover. She had made an attempt at getting it back, however, that just resulted in her body coming crashing to the ground as the cyclops’ hand collided with her chest, while the bow ended up in between the hard ground and the monster’s massive foot… (Y/n) threw her head back and sighed at the sight of her trusty old weapon in pieces, and it wasn’t until she tried to push herself back up on her feet that she noticed a terrible pain spreading through her left arm from her elbow. It hurt badly, but since she didn’t have much of a choice, (y/n), suddenly feeling slightly dizzy, pushed herself back up with her other hand and looked for another road to victory. 

After a few minutes of trying to attack the monster with her sword, but repeatedly failing since getting close enough without getting hit herself proved to be very difficult, (y/n) quickly ran in a circle around the monster causing him to stumble - if only for a second. She wasted no time launching herself at the cyclops with her sword and - *SPLASH*. The sharp, metal blade bore deep into the slimy eye, and the cyclops staggered backwards, slowly disintegrating. (y/n) was just about to take a deep breath when she felt a stinging sensation in her abdomen. Briefly glancing down, she winced as she realized what had happened. The monster must have grabbed one of her arrows from the quiver she had thrown onto the ground, and, rather violently judging by the amount of blood oozing through her orange t-shirt, pushed one into her side. 

Being a demigod, (y/n) had obviously suffered multiple injuries before, though never quite ones as bad as this. The bottom half of her shirt was now more red than orange, and she could feel the world spinning slightly. Groaning, she sat down against a tree and inspected the wound carefully. She wanted to pull the arrow out, but her twin brother Will had always strongly argued against doing something just like that. A vague memory of him saying something along the lines of “the weapon possibly being the only thing keeping you from losing too much blood”... Sighing, she started to slowly make her way toward camp but didn’t make it very far before stumbling over her own feet and falling forwards on the cold hard ground. (Y/n) coughed up something that looked like a mixture of spit and blood before pushing herself to her feet again with the help of her sword. It wasn’t a speedy process, but she kept walking in the direction of the infirmary, stopping to catch her breath every few steps.

---

“(y/n/n)?!” She only had a few hundred meters to go when two of her closest friends - Travis and Connor Stoll - came running towards her with worried faces. Typically when the brothers approached someone together in this way it was with mischievous smiles on their faces and usually followed by a prank of some sort, but not this time. “What in the name of the gods happened to you?”, Travis asked, as Connor carefully placed (y/n)’s right arm across his shoulders to help support her. “We ran into some new kids who said you’d picked a fight with a giant?”

“Oh hardly…”, she demonstrated. “If anyone picked a fight it was him! And besides, it was just a normal cyclops, and not even a very big one.” She winced slightly when Travis smiled and grabbed her other arm, but started walking more steadily thanks to the brothers. “But my bow broke, and - friendly advice - don’t try to take out a cyclops with nothing but a sword.”

“You should put that on a T-shirt.”, Travis joked but shut up quickly when (y/n)’s knees buckled and she stumbled again. He sent her a worried glance as Connor spoke up.

“So, what happened? How bad off are you really?”

She told them the story as they walked slowly down the hill and across the volleyball court. They were right by the big house when (y/n) finished the story.

“Gods…”, Connor mumbled, changing his grip around his friend’s shoulder to give her even more support. “You know Will’s gonna kill you himself this time, right?”. (Y/n) was about to answer him when someone opened the door to the infirmary and beat her to it.

“Who do I have to kill? I swear, if Nico is shadow travelling like a madman agai- Oh Gods!”, Will interrupted himself, a look of horror on his face as he was met with the sight of his twin sister barely able to stand up, and covered from head to toe in blood, mud, and dirt. “(y/n/n), what happened?!” He examined her quickly before holding the door open so the Hermes boys could get in and slowly lay (y/n) on one of the bunks.

“It’s a bit of a story, and I don’t know if I feel like repeating it again right now”, she said weakly, wincing a bit as Will swiftly pulled her worn jean jacket off, “but the short version is that a cyclops punched me and I have an arrow through my stomach… And probably a broken arm too. And I might have hit my head when I fell… it, eh, hurts a bit…”

“Gods…”, Will sighed, “Well, do you feel nauseous? Disorientated? Can you see clearly or is anything blurry?” 

“Eh… a little dizzy maybe, and a weak headache, but my sight is fine and I’m not feeling sick.”

 “Right”, Will mumbled as he wiped a small amount of blood from his sister’s forehead and briefly inspected the small wound. “Something positive I suppose…”. He put a small bandaid on it to slow the bleeding down at least momentarily, before moving to look at his sister’s arm which was indeed bent in a rather weird way. “Well, head-related injuries are always scary, I’ll have to examine it further to know how bad it actually is. The arm is absolutely broken - annoying, but fixable - though this arrow…” He grabbed a pair of scissors and cut through her T-shirt so that he could get to the wound.  “Jeez, (y/n/n)… How long have you been bleeding?”

She took a deep breath before answering. “I’m not sure, it feels like an eternity, but an hour maybe?”

“AN HOUR?!” Will tried to stay calm, but his now pale face told another story. “Holy… Okay, eh, (y/n/n), I’m gonna… I have to get the arrow out and stop the bleeding as fast as I can, you- you’ve already lost way too much blood. Let's just hope that it missed anything vital.”

He whispered the last part, but (y/n) hardly heard the rest either, as she slowly but steadily started drifting off to sleep. “Sure thing… You do that, I’m just gonna doze off for a quick sec…”

“Oh no, you’re not!” Will dropped what he was holding and grabbed her shoulders to shake her gently. “(Y/n/n), I get that you’re exhausted, but you have to stay awake. As I said, you lost a lot of blood, and you may have a concussion. Sorry, I’m not even gonna argue with you - you’re not falling asleep.”

He turned back to the brothers who were watching from afar, wanting to know what happened but also not being in the way. “Connor, Travis, you have to keep her talking while I work, okay?”

“Sure”, Travis nodded, as Connor grabbed (y/n)’s right hand again. “Wanna tell us about the new kids?”

“Yeah”, Connor added. “They seem cool!”

“They are…” (y/n) moved a bit, carefully letting Will remove the piece of her T-shirt that he had cut off to get to the wound. “Only seven years old, fighters both of them. They ran away from different orphanages in Vermont and took down a basilisk together in Albany and have taken care of each other si- AHHHHH.”

She let out a harsh scream as her brother swiftly pulled what was left of the arrow out of her chest, and would probably have rolled off the bed if not for the Stoll brothers holding her down as Will apologised profusely. 

“I’m so sorry, (y/n/n)”, he mumbled sadly, as he handed Travis a big piece of ambrosia, “but that was the worst of it. You’re doing really well, just hold on. You should try to have some ambrosia now that the arrow’s out.” She struggled to take a few shallow breaths as the extreme pain slowly began to fade again, but nodded and accepted the small piece of godly food Travis was offering her. The pain instantly lessened even more as the flavour of her mother’s gingerbread cookies combined with a touch of magic consumed her whole being. (Y/n) finally took a really deep breath, but when she exhaled it felt as if every single drop of energy she had been grasping onto left her at once. She allowed herself to close her eyes and immediately began drifting off to sleep, the worried voices of Will, Travis, and Connor simply fading into silence.

---

(Y/n) was desperate for a few hours of peaceful rest, but unfortunately sleep and nightmares tended to almost always go hand in hand for demigods. She relived the last 24 hours in her sleep, everything from leaving camp in the early morning feeling excited to bring some new kids back to the exhausting battle that could have ended badly if not for the cyclops’ inability to stay on its feet. During the actual fight, it had happened so quickly that she hadn’t even noticed it at first, but this time she could clearly see how the monster roughly yanked a sharp arrow from her quiver and began making his way back towards her. She lay flat on the ground, desperately trying to move out of the way, but she couldn’t. It was as if all her muscles suddenly decided to to take any more orders from her brain. The cyclops lifted his arm, getting ready to deliver the final blow, as (y/n) closed her eyes, starting to accept her fate.

It felt as if time itself stopped. All she could hear was her own shaky breathing - until suddenly it wasn’t… There was a also voice, far away, sure, but still clearly there…

“(Y/n/n)? Please wake up! C’mon!”

It sounded familiar, but she couldn’t pinpoint who it belonged to. She focused and tried to listen for the voice again, but she was so exhausted… Giving in to the darkness felt so inviting… And simple. She could do with simple for once.

“No, no, no!” The voice cracked, panic and desperation shining through. “Don’t you dare give up now! C’mon, (y/n), I’m here, I’ve got you! Don’t give up… please…”

She was so close to slipping away, but something about that seemed wrong, and the reassuring words plus the comforting feeling brought to her by the sound of the familiar voice gave her precisely the boost of energy she needed. Shaking herself out of the nightmare, (y/n) inhaled sharply before shooting up, her eyes darting around the room until someone gently placed their hands on her shoulders, causing her to meet their gaze.

“(y/n)!”

She blinked a few times, shaking violently as she began realizing where she was. “Will?”

“Oh Gods!” He hugged her tightly, perhaps a bit too tight, but it didn’t matter in that moment - the 16-year-old was just so incredibly relieved to see that his sister was alright. “You’re alive!”

(Y/n)’s breathing evened out again as she leaned into her brother. “I’m sorry, Will. I’m so sorry…”

He didn’t let go of her arms, but moved back slightly and sent her a questioning look. “What do you mean?”

“I… I just… I didn’t mean to worry you.”

“Gods, (y/n/n), I always worry.” He moved closer again. “I’m just happy you’re okay! I mean, it’ll be a while before you’re back doing quests of course”, he sent her a serious look, “but the fact that you woke up is a good sign”. 

(Y/n) accepted the ambrosia piece Will offered to her before answering. “All thanks to you.”

“Well”, he shrugged, “your body did most of the hard work...” (Y/n) shook her head at Will’s modesty before starting to push herself off the bed to stand up.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa!! Stop! What do you think you’re doing?!”, Will exclaimed, swiftly pushing her back down. "You have been unconscious for over four days and lost so much blood, and that’s not even mentioning your head, arm or other random scratches. You’re staying here at least until Friday, no discussion.”

(Y/n) rolled her eyes, secretly feeling very lucky to have a brother as caring as Will. "Okay, I'm sorry. I just need to stretch my legs for a second, please? Help me out?" 

Will didn’t look too happy with the idea, but understood how stiff she must be feeling after so many days and nodded. It wasn’t like (y/n) wanted to get up and run, she still felt really tired and weak. However, after that horrifying moment of helplessness that she experienced in her dream, just the confirmation that she could in fact still move her arms and legs was incredibly comforting. When everything felt normal, she tried a few careful steps and immediately stumbled, but didn’t fall thanks to Will’s support.

“Light-headed?”

“Yeah, a bit…”

“Alright, that’s enough, back you go.” He guided her back to the bed, and she lay her head back down on the pillow.

"There we go!", Will smiled, "can I get you anything?"

"A cup of tea, please? Red, no honey?"

"You’ve got it!"

Five minutes later Will returned, balancing two cups of tea and a cheese sandwich on a tray. "Who ordered the tea and sandwich?", he asked jokingly as he sat the tray on the bed. He placed some pillows against the wall and slowly helped his sister sit up against them. “That would be me", she smiled. Will also sat down on the bed and put an arm around (y/n). She took a small bite of the sandwich and leaned her head on her brother's shoulder. The siblings drank their tea in silence, enjoying the feeling of being together and safe, if only for the night.

<3

//L masterlist

[isolaradiale]

"Solaris, I have an idea that you're going to love!" Mimosa chimes, hands excitedly gripping the papers of what half-baked plan she'd come up with now. It isn't often that she's allowed to do as she pleases, on account of her ideas being much too chaotic and uncompromising, but the curious look on her colleague's face is enough to tell her that she may have decent odds this time around.

"Fine. Tell me of this elaborate plan you have. At the very least, it ought to be interesting." Chin in hand, Solaris sets aside the paperwork that he had been filling out, and the two of them proceed to have a very enthusiastic chat about the former's plans.

The night starts as any other in Spirale City, with citizens tucking themselves into bed and bidding good night to their loved ones. Sleep takes them, some more peacefully than others, but all experience the distinct feeling of falling as they lie on the cusp between awake and asleep. It's an odd feeling, one that almost makes it hard to breathe, but it's soon replaced with the lighthearted warmth of floating gently, gently down until they're back in their bed and the familiar streaks of morning light find their way across the bedroom. Eyes open to what seemed to be yet another peaceful morning only to be met with a strange, low wail coming from outside the windows of their home.

Curious and somewhat concerned, an investigation is surely necessary and so investigate our inhabitants do; what they find surprises some of them, but for others it's business as usual. A large, astral whale makes its way across the sky, filled with stars and planets that seem much closer than usual. The sun hangs high in the sky despite the stars being in full view, a smiling face painted on its surface. The streets are lined with various trees of differing species--some even edible--along with a light stream flowing down the roads, where some citizens are in their bathing suits with cups in hand. And some may even find that their homes have also been made fantastical in varying ways.

And somewhere far, far away sit two scientists. One looks bored whilst the other can hardly manage to stay in her seat. At Solaris's discontentment, Mimosa is intent on getting his approval, so another idea is born. "And what if they can affect the dream, too!? That'd be interesting, wouldn't it?" Her idea is met with a wave of a hand as if saying to do what she pleases. With the flip of a switch, the city's inhabitants would now find that their imaginative thoughts were made manifest but hard to control at first.

"Now, let's see how it all plays out, hm? I promise it'll be worth it. Just watch it all unfold!" Mimosa's hand slaps the top of the haphazard giant cube of a machine that now sat in front of her and Solaris. It vibrates intensely as though it's fit to burst from the seams at any moment. Truly a delicate masterpiece that holds the current dream environment all together. "Don't worry, it'll be fine…maybe!" One look at Solaris can tell anyone though that he has his reservations.

-- Welcome to our 2024 summer event, Phantasm Amalgam! As a recap, we'd like to thank our members for sticking by us this long, and here's to another anniversary event for the books! So what's going on? In short, you're all in a shared dream of fantastical and untold proportion!

Secondly, what's the TLDR read of the situation? Well, here's a couple of bullet points to catch you up to speed!

Upon going to sleep, everyone in the city was transported into a replica of Spirale, only it's entirely made up from the shared memory of it that everyone has! So, there are bound to be a few differences here and there but not anything too large.

Essentially if you can dream it, then it can happen. Anything is fair game. Whatever thoughts your characters have can become reality, all they need to do is think it into existence and it'll become real! It can even be changed by other characters as well. You can also change other characters with mun permission, of course!

Powers will be uncapped within the dream world, but someone else could simply dream themselves invulnerable to them too.

Please keep in mind that if you're interfering with what is being dreamed by another character, you'll need mun permission first!

There is no limit as to what a character can create or change. Whether it be a singular object (a lamp post, a tree, a car, and other objects large or small), an NPC, or even changes to player characters themselves. You can even change entire wards if you want to, but someone else can change it just as quickly! Take the chance to do something exciting and unexpected, the scientists are waiting for some interesting results!

As always please feel free to send any questions you may have to the masterlist!

There will be two parts to this event, with our first kicking off today and the second running from August 9th to August 16th 11:59:59 PM! As always, you'll still be able to do part 1 during part 2!

[headphonemouse]

Spoilers for Omniscient Reader's Viewpoint and The World After the Fall

He's like everyone's hyung. Jaehwan crawled as a sopping wet mess so everyone else could be slightly less damp on their own journey

I just finished The World After the Fall and i have. some thoughts. just a few.. I came from ORV first though so it's mostly in relation to ORV rather than discussion of TWATF on its own

At first I thought Jaehwan was really like Yoo Joonghyuk. I described him and his story like this

But over time and as I reached the last arc I realized that he has a lot in common with Kim Dokja and Han Sooyoung as well. Kim Dokja and Jaehwan's mutual love for webnovels stems from SingShong's love for webnovels, and I liked that because you can see from reading their works that those authors really, really love webnovels and philosophy. Jaehwan has a lot of facets to him, and that was a really important plot point, but a common complaint I saw in reviews of TWATF was that more or less the only fleshed out character was Jaehwan. I kinda agree. Jaehwan has a lot of depth and there's a ton of introspection and philosophy in the second half of the novel, so he's a very intriguing character. But no one else made that big of an impact. Then in ORV, it seems like SS were able to split up some of those facets that make an intriguing protagonist and gave those traits to YHK. Jaehwan is like a one-man cast.

Related to his similarities with YHK. Between him and KDJ, they are both self sacrificial but while KDJ sacrifices himself for his companions, Jaehwan sacrifices himself. for himself.. And then between him and HSY, they would both doom the world for the sake of one person. But HSY dooms worldlines for KDJ's sake. and Jaehwan destroys and then rewrites the Tree of Imagery into existence for his own sake. Jaehwan and YJH both have lonely backs, but the difference between them is that none of Jaehwan's friends were ever able to catch up to him. He faced his [end] alone. I don't think he was ever able to escape the loneliness that has plagued him since the beginning. He made friends and they supported him and they tried their best to fight with him, to follow his example, to honor him in his absence, but in the end they were too weak to stand at his side, unable to even follow, and after they died his memory in the world faded away.

It makes me sad. I really did like the other characters, how they looked at Jaehwan and saw hope. He became 'the world' to so many people. He was loved. He was admired. He was respected. His friends gave their hearts to him but it wasn't enough to ever reach him. We didn't get all that much time to focus on other characters. Still, I thought they were interesting.

I liked Runald the best, his outburst at Yoo Surha over the happiness evaluation surprised me. As the person who understood Jaehwan the most, I wonder how he felt enduring all those years. He's presented as a simple minded boy but he's got quite a lot he doesn't talk about. Wonder who he learned that from.

I can't imagine a good outcome for Jaehwan if he somehow reenters the Tree of Imagery. What would he do? Everyone but Sirwen is dead. Would he fight the System again? The System that he destroyed and then brought back? Why do all that? If anything, he should talk to Sirwen and finally tell her that he killed her dad. Her looking for information on Mulack was pretty important but then it was never mentioned at the end.

Jaehwan was a really interesting character and I liked how often he was allowed to cry, without realizing it, as if the emotions spilled out before he could recognize them. His conversations with his [clothes] were interesting, how cocky some of them were, or proud, or quiet, or scared. They were all Jaehwan. They were all human.

I'm running out of things to say, but to wrap up. I didn't really enjoy the story. It's not the kind of story that I'm usually into. But I wanted to see where Jaehwan would go. Just to see him reach his [end], I read the whole thing. It was extremely depressing. I don't regret reading it because I learned more about the writers through it. Sometimes while cheering for Jaehwan I felt like I really related to KDJ. And the end. That was it? It was an ending that stayed true to the themes of the rest of the story. That's all I can say.

[shivunin]

WIP Wednesday

Tagged by @brother-genitivi and @greypetrel over the past week---Thank you both (and I am tagging you back if you have something to share)! Tagging in turn @daggerbean @dungeons-and-dragon-age @zenstrike @transprincecaspian @nightwardenminthara @ndostairlyrium @dreadfutures @star--nymph @pinayelf @vakarians-babe @heniareth @idolsgf @buchimgay @jtownnn if you have something you'd like to share! No pressure, as always. I've been working on my "Hawke in the Fade" story again--something I was listening to jogged my memory c: So it's back to pain city once more! I don't think I've posted this bit yet, but if so... "very well then, I contradict myself; I contain multitudes" etc. (CW: Blood, spiders)

Fenris fell into a restless sleep sometime after night became day again. 

He’d found a safe enough perch in a great tree, sheltered by the numerous lower branches from any watchers. It was nothing like the comfort of home (home, home, home; he could not think of home or he would climb down and turn for Antiva and its ships at once), but it was as safe a place to rest as any he’d found so far. He’d been beset by some formless restlessness for the last several hours, but exhaustion had a way of taking its due regardless of one’s comfort. Between one blink and the next, he was asleep. 

A great spider rose, blotting out the sky. There was something wrong with this place; something uncanny that set his skin to crawling. Far beneath the monster, three running shapes drew to an abrupt halt. Two mages and a man in armor; he did not know them. 

No—wait—

“We need to clear a path,” the man shouted, and one of the mages half-turned so he could see her profile more clearly. 

Fenris dreamt of Hawke often; he was not surprised to see her now. But there was something wrong about this dream. It had none of the blurriness of ordinary dreams and nightmares. Instead, it was almost painfully crisp around the edges, hyper-real. He was abruptly close enough to see the blood drying in her hair, clotting at her shoulder. For a moment, there was something horrible in her face. 

He had seen that look before. There’d been a moment, right before she’d cast aside her cloak and turned to fight the Arishok, when she had looked at him just like that. 

“Hawke, no,” Fenris said, straining to reach for her. This must be some sort of nightmare, for though he could feel himself speaking, no sound rose from his lips. 

“Go,” Hawke said to the others, resolution settling into the dear lines of her face. “I’ll cover you.”

“No,” Fenris said, and the man echoed him. 

“You were right,” the man went on, “the Grey Wardens caused this. A Warden must—”

It was too late; Fenris could see it in the stubborn set of her chin. She had decided. Once Hawke had decided something, there was little that could change her mind. 

“A Warden must help them rebuild,” she snapped. “That’s your job. Corypheus is mine.”

Corypheus—but they had killed Corypheus, he and Hawke and Carver and Anders. Why should he dream this now? She was safe, she was at home; she’d promised him she would be there when he got back—she’d promised. 

It was a nightmare; it was only a nightmare. 

“Hawke…” the unfamiliar elven woman said, her face twisting at the word, and Maria nodded in return. Her shoulders…relaxed, as if the decision was easier to bear now that it had been made in truth. Hawke rested a hand on the woman’s shoulder briefly, glancing beyond them at the massive spider. Fenris tried to touch her, tried to move her anywhere but here, but his hand passed through without force. 

“Don’t do this,” he told her with every ounce of feeling in his soul; Hawke was safe, she was safe, this was only a nightmare, but it felt so real, so present, and he could not bear this. He had borne the distance and the time away; he had borne countless physical pains, for none of it had ever measured greater than the lyrium markings had. 

Fenris could not bear this. 

“Say goodbye to Varric for me,” Hawke told the elf, and had the gall to smile—smile as if nothing was wrong—even as the others turned away and began to run for the rift in the sky behind her. 

Hawke lifted her staff and sprinted the other direction, the smile fading as soon as she turned. The spider loomed over her, vast as the sky and twice as avaricious, and Fenris felt the familiar tug of magic as she called it to her. 

“I’m sorry, Fenris,” she said, and he tried again and in vain to touch her; he tried—

Fenris woke in Tevinter with a start, grateful that he had tied himself to the tree with a belt. He would have fallen to the bracken below otherwise. 

While he’d slept, it had begun to rain. That was what had woken him, he thought, from some nebulous nightmare. He shifted uneasily, mind still cloudy with some undefined doom, and reached into his vest to touch the oiled cloth that held Hawke’s letter safe. He didn’t need to take it out to know what it said; he’d long since memorized it in its entirety. 

I will be here waiting when you come back. I swear it. 

He could swear he heard her voice saying the words as he recalled them. He missed her voice; missed it even more intensely on nights like this, when all the forest felt like it was bent against him. Fenris drew his cloak over his head, curled his knees up against his chest, and tried not to think of home.

Hawke must certainly be sleeping in their bed now, curly hair tucked neatly in its silk or strewn across the pillow. There would be a fire in the hearth and her hound curled up before it. If he thought about it too hard, he could smell the oils she brushed into her hair, could feel the press of cool sheets against his skin. 

No; no, he would not think of it. That way lay madness.

Though he shut his eyes once more, Fenris did not sleep that night.

[dropout-if]

Izzzzyyy, i don't know if it's been asked yet, but since we can choose our bedroom look, how do the bedrooms of the ros look(style)??

Jean/Jade- very very clean and tidy, nothing is out of place. Beige bedding, white walls, and carpet. They have a work desk with a computer, just in case. I don't see them having that many decorations (maybe a few family photos, a photo of their mom, and a few of the articles J is the most proud of). They also have a gigantic bookcase that's filled to the brim, and that is perhaps the only bit of color in J's room.

Uma- lots of unfinished canvases— the wall is a canvas too, one that is periodically painted over and over in different themes. Uma used to share their bedroom with their twin brother Rohan (the two of them sleep on bunk beds, and they have claimed the top one), they're the order to their brother's disorder. There are a few potted pants on the window sill, and fairy lights.

Statler- has lived with Noir for a year, and the two of them are still getting used to that space. It has little personality other than the family photos (most of them are Statler's: of their mom and dad, their half-siblings), Statler's guitar, and Noir's things (they're very messy and Statler often has to clean after them). Statler and Noir's room looks more like a boring IKEA store bedroom than an actual room.

Wanda- is a bit messy, an organized disaster. Her bedroom is very colorful and eclectic, with lots of trinkets that barely fit together but that Wanda loves. There are many toys strewn around, as well as a few books on parenthood that J thought would be useful years ago. Wanda's closet is a clothing rack where she also keeps her jewelry, shoes and makeup (and the key reason everything looks so messy).

Kai- has tried to make their new room look like a carbon copy of their old room (they haven't succeeded). Kai is incredibly messy and tends to leave clothes and shoes all over the place. Other than that, it's a 90s kid daydream (10 Things I Hate About You inspired): very alternative and full of posters. Kai also has a desk with a gaming pc, and a bookcase with books, comics and manga.

Travis- it looks very personal and clean. Travis tends to gravitate toward darker colors. It would make his room look very depressing were it not for the gigantic cat tree and the many cat toys. There's also a small red armchair that only Byron uses. Travis isn't all that sentimental but he has many trinkets and memories neatly decorating his room, as well as a desk with a computer and a bookcase.

I should make them on the Sims or something so I know to be consistent once MC manages to make it inside anyone's bedroom fnendns

[lunawings]

Animaniacs in Concert, 2/17/24 in Bristol, CT

Or, the story of how I ran into Rob Paulsen and immediately threw up.

Not on him, thankfully.

Where to begin? From the beginning, I guess.

I talk a lot about Japanese voice actors on this blog and I have almost no thoughts about American anime dub voice actors (no offense, I just don't know their work). However, if you asked me my favorite American cartoon voice actor, it's Rob Paulsen. I knew his voice before I even knew he existed, and if you ask me, he's one of the most recognizable male voice actors in Saturday morning cartoons.

He's probably most known as being Yakko on Animaniacs, and "half the Ninja Turtles" as he puts it. ("Maybe if I live to 102 I can voice all of them!") I also personally really liked him in The Mask cartoon, I think it's some of his best work. (Even though he was doing Jim Carey, he kind of wasn't at the same time. He made it his own.) But even beyond his leading roles, he just seems to pop up all sorts of places, and it always makes my day when I recognize him as additional voices.

While Japanese voice actors are often young and excessively beautiful people you're supposed to swoon over, 80s/90s American cartoon voice actors aren't... quite... the same. And yet. I sorta do, in a weird way. I mean I've known Rob Paulsen's voice for as long as my brain has been making memories and that's a pretty huge impact on a person. A few years back, I stumbled upon a few videos of him on YouTube attending cons performing Yakko's World and such, and I just loved his personality and energy so much. So, I added seeing him perform someday to my mental list of goals to accomplish if I ever returned to the US.

Fast forward again to the 2020s, the Animaniacs revival comes out on Hulu (I don't care what anyone says I freakin loved it) and I hear he's touring again with Animaniacs in Concert. I looked up the dates and none of them were remotely near me. As I checked back one day, mourning the possible missed opportunity and debating how far I might go, a new show popped up in Bristol, CT. How random, I thought. I checked if it was doable for me, and it was! It wasn't feasible as a day trip, but still doable. And once I saw there was one FRONT ROW SEAT LEFT, the deal was sealed as I quickly bought the ticket and reserved a room at the only hotel I could find in the area, the Bristol Double Tree.

Fast forward to yesterday. I arrived in Bristol just after noon following an uber and FOUR different buses. I'd woken up way too early, I was hungry and tired, and not feeling too great. I decided food would be my first plan of action, and since I didn't quite understand how to order room service (the menu wasn't loading on my phone anyway) and there wasn't anything within walking distance, I decided to just head downstairs and eat at the hotel restaurant/bar.

As I was waiting for my impossible burger and fries, I decided to take off the Yakko's World hoodie I'd been wearing.

I bought it specifically to wear to the show, and I'd already spilled a little coffee on it this morning and didn't want to risk having to wash it again. So I tucked it behind me in the booth.

Shortly after that, another group walked in and sat at the table next to me. An older guy and some ladies. I wasn't paying much attention to them as I thought they were maybe a part of the wedding party I heard was at the hotel. My food came and I focused on that.

But then someone else walked in and joined them. Someone I very much DID recognize. "Oh there you are!" "Hi, I'm Rob!"

The next moment is kind of a blur so I'm not exactly sure whether I jumped a little or if I did the dramatic eyes widen slow turn, but I definitely had some kind of a visible reaction as I looked over to the table. It was then that I locked eyes with who at that moment I first realized was Maurice Lamarche, voice of Brain (from Pinky and the Brain) and many MANY Futurama characters (more than I realized as I learned later). He was the older man I mentioned earlier, and had been sitting there the entire time. And at that moment I thought perhaps he knew everything. (Both the fact that I recognized the new person who had just walked in, and the fact that I hadn't recognized Maurice himself until now.)

So I'm pretty sure I have at least mild prosopagnosia (face blindness) so it is hard for me to recognize people right away.

But there was something I could never fail to recognize, and that was the voice of Rob Paulsen, who was the person who had just walked into the room and joined the table with Maurice.

I'm not sure how they knew the women they were dining with, but they were all catching up, asking them if they were going to the show, etc. I listened a bit as Rob happily talked to them about the impact of the show and its fans. Such as how devoted fans would actually fly in to see them and how the average age of the audience was about 40 (hah ha... not yet but I'm getting there). He even mentioned Tress MacNeille at one point! Maurice was right in my view, but Rob was at an angle where I couldn't see him without turning my head but oh lord it was definitely him.

I had no idea what to do at this point. Do I say something? Do I not? Would it be terrible to just say hi and that I'm looking forward to the show??

I've been to a lot of events with voice actors in the past, especially in Japan, but I still just... cannot handle meeting famous people that I admire. Actually seeing them up close is intense enough, but actually TALKING to them? I don't know how anyone can do it.

I'm reminded of Amari in Idol Land PriPara, that episode where she meets Hibiki...

Yeah, basically me. For the people who visualize in their head while they are reading something, just replace whatever you imagine I look like with Amari and this story will fit very well.

All while this is all racing through my mind, I'm still shoveling french fries into my mouth while trying (and probably failing) to stay calm and act normal (even though I'm pretty sure Maurice is onto me) and I soon realize I've got a couple fries stuck in my throat (as often happens when I'm eating without paying attention, as I'm a very fast eater). I exaggerated a little in my previous post when I said I was choking, but it was hard to swallow and I realized I'd have to sneak off to the bathroom to deal with it without causing any more of a scene. I basically threw my credit card on the table and ran, though (which was dumb in hindsight, but I didn't want anyone to think I was dine-dashing).

In the end, after I came back, I decided to just quietly pay the bill and leave without saying anything, scrunching and hiding my Yakko hoodie the best I could. I didn't want to interrupt them during their private time, and for that reason I didn't try to take any photos or videos either. So I have no proof that this happened but it very much did.

And it made sense, I realized later. I already knew that the Double Tree in Bristol was literally the only hotel in the area, where else would they be!!?

After leaving the table I was so worked up I basically walked straight out of the hotel because I didn't know what else to do and headed to the Carosel Museum of New England where I killed at least two whole hours sitting on a bench looking at intricately carved 100+ year old wooden animals while nursing my exhaustion and caffeine cravings. (The museum isn't that big, I just literally did not know what else to do with myself.)

But I learned that most carousel horses are only decorated on the side that faces the customers. And since they were all hand-carved back then, the opposite side would often be carved by a less experienced carver in training or something. ISN'T THAT NEAT?

I thought that was neat.

Anyway.

Eventually I downed an energy drink I bought from a convenience store as I went on my way to the venue of the show.

I was still super early since I ran out of the hotel super early but there was already a crowd gathered outside. At first I didn't know this was the reason people had gathered, but the first 40 people to line up were eligible to sign up for a "meet-and-greet" with everyone after the show. And when I reached the front of the line, it was still open.

"Sure?" I said, not really fully understanding what I was signing up for. And so I headed inside.

The show opened with Yakko's Universe (SUCH A BEAUTIFUL SONG) and of course closed with Yakko's World as the finale. What came in between was quite random. Despite not being an actual cast member, the real star of the show was composer Randy Rogel. Rob of course voiced Yakko and his other characters, and Randy voiced... almost everyone else haha. Just using his own voice most of the time, but still. He sang as Dot a lot.

And it seemed like he picked the songs they played not necessarily by what songs were popular, but by what songs he and Rob had stories to talk about. For example, they did a bunch of songs from the failed show Histeria when Rob literally broke into tears (he was acting) while talking about how Randy had to actually, physically, go to a library to research the topics he was writing about back in those days. Randy also played an alternate version of the song LA DOT that had sat untouched in a folder for decades.

Rob's voice doesn't sound quite the same as it used to, as anyone who has seen the 2020 Animaniacs series would know, but he can still do it all! And considering he survived throat cancer, and came back to not only work again but sing live!? He sounds amazing!

Maurice Lamarche was also of course a part of the show, and although he only "sang" one song as Brain, his interactions in character as Brain with Rob as Pinky were probably the highlight of the whole show. (They did a whole "Who's on First" sketch talking about what countries to conquer, with Pinky misunderstanding "Hungary", "Turkey" and "Chili".)

Maurice also did a showcase of his voice, including so many other Animaniacs and Futurama characters I had no idea were him, not to mention frikkin Toucan Sam and the narrator of Lexus commercials.

The only thing that disappointed me a little about the show, was they didn't really do anything from the 2020 series, but I guess Randy wasn't as involved with the music in that. So, oh well.

I didn't take many photos/videos during the show, since I wasn't fully sure of the etiquette (still kinda have my Japan brain for these sort of things) and since I was in the front row I wanted to give them my full attention. I think there are plenty of videos online anyway, since at least one segment was one I'd already seen before.

So, after the show ended, people began to line up for the meet-and-greet, and it was then that I fully understood what I had gotten myself into.

Each of us would get about a minute to talk with them individually, get their signature, and get a picture if we wanted. I was really kicking myself for not bringing anything to sign! I really had no idea it would actually be an option! (In the days leading up to the show I had been looking at Rob's website where I noticed he normally charges $60 for an autograph, so I didn't think he would do it for free.)

But more importantly, I realized I was going to have to actually face them. TALK TO THEM. The exact thing I had run away from earlier in the day.

And again, I considered just running away. But I had taken a spot on that list. A spot that could have gone to someone else and it was too late to give away now. So, I told myself, I had to see this through. No matter what.

As the line inched closer I panicked over whether they would recognize me from the hotel or not as I rehearsed in my head over and over again all the things I could say. I was honestly juggling between two or three entire scripts by the time it was finally my turn and when realized... after all that...

I did not need to say anything.

Rob saw my hoodie ("It's me!") so he knew I was there for him, and he knew I was nervous. So he did all the talking. (After all, that is his job. Literally!) He took my hand and complimented my hoodie, my hair, and everything. He said so many nice things about me (I even got a "Hellooooo nurse!") and even broke the ice by introducing me to "his friend the Brain" so I got to shake hands with Maurice as well. (I STILL THINK HE KNEW. So I felt a little awkward then but other than that) it was just such a wonderful interaction. Rob was so nice and kind and I got the impression he really, really cares about his fans.

So I missed out on the autograph, but I did get a picture, and I left the entire experience feeling so warm and fuzzy and oddly complete. Childhood dream achieved.

It took me another four busses and an uber to get home today (I left around 8am, walked into my door after 4...) but it was all very worth it.

I'm mostly at peace with how things turned out, but if I ever get the chance to see them again, at a Comicon or whatever, I'll be sure to bring a Futurama DVD boxset for Maurice to sign and maybe try to acquire an old Animanics or Mask the Animated Series VHS for Rob!

You know, it's pretty ridiculous how easy it is to meet and get signatures from famous voice actors in this country. That almost never happens in Japan. I mean, I'm planning to go to an actual Love Live concert in Japan next month, and here I am oddly depressed I can't fly out to Seattle to see Chiemi and Coco at Sakura-con instead because I might get to actually meet MEET them there haha.

Even though it would be another disaster if I actually did.

Hahah...

[arsonistbunny]

FNAF movie review under the cut (contains heavy spoilers)

Also, I wrote this right after the movie.

First of all. I loved the images. The probs, the animatronics, the looks were really good. I like the scenery, the composition, the mise en scène (I cannot find a word for it in English apparently you can say mise en scène too so take it. Directing would not be the exact translation of what I'm looking for, I think? I'm talking about visuals, not how the actors played even though they were ok).

Sadly I think that's the only point they nailed.

The scenario was... uh... like if a guy had to guess what FNAF was about? I have nothing against Vanessa being William's daughter but... Mike??? I really thought it was gonna turn out that Mike and Vanessa are half-siblings? (I thought Mike's dad in his memories could be his stepfather but he didn't know.) But then if he's not William's son... why was William like that when he read his name....??? (Because he recognised him as Garrett's brother? Mf really would pay attention to the names and family trees of his victims??? Stop googling shit and walk on set more often William)

Still scared of the thought that they could still make Mike and Vanessa end together please no-

I feel like breaking the family link between Mike and William breaks half of FNAF is about. The whole ordeal was that Mike was responsible for his brother's death and William also had responsibility which is kind of what happened but not exactly. Every fan feels like a part of why William dislikes his son is because he blames him for his brother's death. And here it's just. "Oh yeah I killed your brother lol. Anyway I don't really have anything against you personally. I didn't really think about you before last week."

Speaking of, William in the movie is so hollow. Like we got nothing. He kills kids. And then he has them kill some guys. He has a daughter he has scared into shutting up. He appears in his suit and immediately dies. Because of the cupcake of all animatronics - this is really funny in a sense seeing the cupcake so savage when in the games it barely does anything, it's just annoying in Help Wanted.

He's not even obsessed with bringing things to life or anything. He throws a "I always come back" out of nowhere, he could have gone "You think you can get rid of me?! I'll come back, I always come back." Which would have made more sense rather than having him saying the line without context.

Had a "he wouldn't do that" moment at the end when William stabbed Vanessa. He would not. hurt his daughter. :( not intentionally at least. I mean yeah I get she's not Elizabeth and doesn't have the same attachment but the thing is that William's attachment to Elizabeth is a big part of his identity too.

Now, it might have been because I'm an idiot who didn't eat enough before the movie (+ I had an upset stomach lmao) but the movie felt SO LONG. The good shit happens about 15 minutes before the end and lasts 10 minutes. The movie is 1 hour and 50 minutes long. It just goes back and forth very slowly to Mike finding out what happened and I feel he could have found out way sooner, leaving space for more plot twists or more action, I don't know.

I did like the portrayal of some characters. New characters like Abby, Doug and the teacher were so nice to see! I like that Mike is Mike in character like, yeah he would do that shit, and I think Josh was a perfect match too, but other than that he doesn't feel very much like Mike? Like who is he, he's not William's son, he's not motivated by stopping his dad just making it right for his brother.

Vanessa was pretty cool too. Like how she just keeps changing subjects to avoid answering Mike's questions. She's scared of the one manipulating her but ends up willing to face him with help.

The dead kids were on point! Personally, I love seeing Golden Freddy as a mad manipulative child with a bit of sadism. Would I have liked it better if he was a girl? Yeah but what can you do. Didn't think I would like how we keep seeing the ghost outside of the animatronics but that was actually very well done especially when the Foxy child steps back into Pirate Cove and comes out as Foxy.

About the horror, I saw some people complain that it wasn't scary, and they're right: it's not. I think it's made for a 13+ public, which is so good because I HATE gore in horror movies it's always free and feels cheap. But then again it was more like a teenager's first horror/thriller movie so it's more friendly than people would have expected.

Kept my eyes peeled for Easter eggs, and saw the motorride game thingy on the guy's sweater. Did notice all of the things that were ripped from the movie despite being in the trailers. William's humming of the Toreador... Why did you remove it.....

Oh, that reminds me why was Foxy's singing so wrong? He does not sing like that???

Didn't think that would happen but Matpat's appearance made me laugh especially since I did not recognize his voice at first so it was like a little jumpscare. Pretty sad other YouTubers/streamers' Easter eggs were not more seeable (like I knew whose photo was on the employee of the month thingy but I didn't have time to actually look at them in the movie). I know the taximan is also a YouTuber, never watched him but he's really good at acting and very funny! If they do more movies (which I'm not sure they would) I want them to bring him again.

There's this dissonance this William just like for Vanny. "Oh, you like the evil rabbits? Here is the merch! Lots of merch! Are you happy? Good! because there's no content."

Overall the universe's imagery is respected but the wiring is like the first Fnaf books, less wild maybe (Charliebot..) so if you didn't like the books like me you might not like the movie.

I'd give maybe 3 stars to the movie, mainly because visually it was almost perfect. Despite criticizing a lot, I'm still happy I went, because I wanted to see it and I kinda like a cinema treat from time to time.

[fitgothgirl]

Starting to wonder if I'm in the very beginnings of perimenopause already?... For one, the last month or so I've been often waking up in cold sweats, and I'm not weaning down/withdrawing from weed right now. Not sure if it's the seasons changing but I don't feel hot when I go to sleep - if anything I'm cool/cold so I stay under the covers tightly but then that makes me sweat but when I come out of the covers then the sweat makes me colder, etc... I also haven't had this problem before with seasonal changes. Sleeping in sweats or warmer clothes seems to help. I actually just had a doctor's appointment to get a referral for blood work, so they're going to check a bunch of things. It's been over a year since I've had any done anyway.

The other thing though is that I've been finding myself much more emotional/tearful (for longer than these night sweats have been happening). It's not like depression or my other usual emotionality lol, but certain things seem to hit me harder and set me off. Any sort of negative consequences from humans on animals especially breaks my heart. It's like, they're so good and pure (and very often cute), but lately that just immediately makes me think that that means everything in the world is worse than them, especially in regard to humans. The world just wants to hurt them or is cruelly indifferent to them and it's not fair for a creature so innocent... And they don't know why the world is the way it is, they can't understand, they're just scared and in pain when we do shit to them. I saw some roadkill a week or so ago that was a squirrel and it wasn't just messy splatter - he still had his form and I could see his face, even though it was just an instant. That set off instant full-on crying. I get misty over just thinking of things like the scars manatees have on their backs from propellers, or how many animals (insects and all) are killed or have their lives in total upheaval when trees are cleared for construction, or animals running from forest fires, etc... Just seeing an article headline about a dog getting shot had me sobbing just now.

Seeing old pictures of pets sets me off too because I can't help but think this beloved pet is no longer alive. On another main of mine, I follow someone who sometimes reblogs from an account that's specifically for old flickr pictures from the aughts of people's cats; for some reason those are even worse than really old pictures. I just imagine the pain being fresher in their family, their memory still clung to.

Ahhh I'm making myself emotional! I've always loved animals too and have always been an easy crier, but this just feels different lately, I don't know how to pin it.

The studies are inconclusive, but some people believe if you get your first period when you're older, then you could end up with menopause/perimenopause earlier; I didn't get my period until I was 15 (and a half lol)... And perimenopause can start in your 30s, so that would check out for me at least (if that's what's even happening).

[weaselchild]

id love for you to lonvingly info dump me about your palia OC

aksdfh I don't have him fully finalised yet but I do have bits and pieces worked out !! Laque has almost no recollection of who he was before materialising in Kilima but he's doing the best he can ! He does, however, remember his friends and knows he was essentially picked up from another world almost isekai style and arrived before any of his friends did so he actually helped them get set up in Kilima too once Ashura sent them up. They have their own plots to play around in and stuff but they often sleep over at his place anyway and share resources

Mm basic facts ! - His right eye is entirely missing. Jury is still out on whether that happened before the void or during but he was blind in that eye in his previous life - Used to rock the emo hairstyle til he got good at glassblowing and obtained materials to make his own prosthetic eye - Very good with his hands and always creating - Big sweet tooth. Just adores desserts and baking. - Highest skill in cooking and furniture making, mostly through trial and error. Unfortunately he cannot remember half his recipes and methods once he creates something - Dear phoenix, the memory problems in this man. He's only 22 - RIP so many notebooks and scrolls More under the cut bc I ramble a bit sadkljfh

--Life in Kilima-- - Being the first of his friends group, he was mainly assisted by Ashura to settle in, oftentimes sneaking back to the inn on lonely nights and trying to piece together who he used to be. He suspects his missing memory may be linked to his eye that appeared to have simply never formed. Perhaps part of him is still lost in the void - He's mainly self made. After being given tools and taught basic skills, he expanded on those to build his house. Once his friends came through also, he does rely on them somewhat to bring him materials that he makes into tools for them and furniture for general use - He has, however, dedicated much of his time to understanding how to possibly harness flow into creating maps for his friends that can track each other's movement so they can help each other out while out in the world (just to explain why the maps can see party members aha i think that would be neat) --Extra stuff--

Laque is kinda scared of bugs a little but his housemates drag him to Bahari Bay sometimes for some fresh air and oftentimes he winds up helping them catch bugs because he can't say no to them.

He prioritises making friends with the villagers though he has a bit of a disdain for Tamala and tries to stay far away from Caleri and Elouisa. He doesn't have an interest in romancing anyone though he does often hang around Jel and Tish to share ideas.

He can manipulate flow a little better than most can, likely due to the part of him that is still in the void (and probably using the flowstone and palium literally set in his skull via prosthetic eye), setting the ambient flow into his creations and inventions in order to help his friends and other humans with quality of life. He enjoys making prosthetics for people who need them and repairing mobility aids.

His facial scar was from an accident while hunting Muujin. One of his friends accidentally shot too close after he chopped down a tree and nicked him pretty bad with a fine arrow. He then couldn't stop picking at it.

Once in Bahari Bay, he won't leave until he physically cannot carry anything more in order to not "waste the trip". Will then pass out for 12 hours straight as soon as his head meets the pillow