#This reread is going to emotionally damage me all over again

[twitteringthings]

The way he says “I’m back” when he knows no one is there to welcome him home…

[sopebubbles]

Hi, silent reader here, sorry I don’t like your post that often.

I love the way you write I never thought that I’ll be reading anything omegaverse related, it just wasn’t my thing and here I am totally invested in lone wolf I think is just that I really like your writing and your histories. I’ve been trying to not to read the updates just so I can have more to read but I can’t help myself. I read from 1 to 10 (again) so I can enjoy chapter 11 better and I just wanna say it totally works, the chapter where oc is not mentioned that much and how we can get to know each and every character I don’t think it’s too much or to little of them (I just wish the chapters were longer)

I love little pack and I can’t wait for the development of their relationships with everyone. Also I wanna ask about Taehyung what accident is Yoongi talking about when he is saying how he fell for Jin, is it related to his nightmares?

Anyways sorry for the long ask and my not so great English, and thank you for writing

Aw that's so sweet 🥰 i totally get it! It was strange to me when i started reading onegaverse too, and tbh there are only a few that i do read. In really glad this one is one you like.

I'm thrilled that it feels cohesive from the beginning to now. Sometimes i have to go back and reread things I've written earlier so i don't lose track of things. I want all the characters to be the dimensional and not just around, but it's difficult to manage sometimes 😆. Sorry about the 'short' chapters. We're already over 70k words and that's already the length of a novel so it's crazy that you just read all that, but that's really nice to hear.

I love long asks! And i think your english is perfect. Thanks for writing 🥰

(Kinda spoilers below, the answer to Tae's past will be given a couple chapters from now)

As for Tae, he has two traumatic events in his past that cause his nightmares. The first is that his family died in a fire while he was away at college and he has struggled with a lot of survivor's guilt for that. The second is that while he was out doing street art alone one night he was attacked by a group of saps. It was more emotionally damaging than physically, but he's still afraid of leaving the house alone sometimes, and especially of going out at night.

[ravenking1771]

Nona the Ninth is Frustrating Boring and a waste of your time

Before I begin my Rant, Spoilers for The Locked Tomb

I have read Gideon the Ninth

Gideon was an amazing fun read with a protagonist who was dynamic action packed and emotionally cathartic.

I have read Harrow the Ninth

The book and plot was an igneous puzzle with a great payoff for some of the mysteries of this book and last and set up incredible possibilities for the third book

Nona the Ninth is frustrating and boring,

This issue is that this book is boring and frustrating because we follow a boring frustrating character who has no internal development.  The plot is disconnected from the previous book to such an absurd degree that I who just finished reading Harrow the Ninth the night before had to reread the ending to make sure I hadn’t missed something.  Nona is amnesiac with no history or personality and only a few strange gifts.  The first half of the book involves interesting characters waiting around on Nona to fucking remember anything or do anything interesting.  I never want to reread this book again because it is some much saccharine filler with only a couple of interest morsels for me.

The dominant mechanic is for reader to follow a mentally damaged Nona around who anytime she starts to hear or participate in something interesting is yanked off to go to school with Muir’s attempt at writing adolescents (not teenagers but kids who haven’t even reached puberty).  There is so much potential going! An interstellar rebellion against an immortal god-emperor! Revolutionary infighting! An approaching elder god monster thing! Which we only see through the eyes of disinterested uncomprehending and passive child.  Yes Nona is a child, she is written like a child and had all of the experience of a child.  There is absolutely no emotional connection to Nona only the most basic superficial and above all obvious emotional manipulation ever practiced.  Ever heard of save the cat (or dog in this case) that’s all over the first half of the book.  The manipulative aspect is so bad I felt my eyes rolling out of my head and is basic and formulaic that it boring.  Of course she loves animals and is kind and loving; god forbid she a personality beyond a bowl of white sugar. Gideon was raging fire straining against the hell she was born into.  Harrow was a self-destructive genius coming to terms with the abuse she suffered and the abuse she inflicted.   Nona is sweet, loving and kind to animals and

I have some simple rules with writing if the reader is bored you the author have failed.  If the reader is frustrated you the author have failed.  This book inspired boredom and frustration.  I read it quickly not because I like Nona but rather to finally figure out what the fuck was going with everyone.  Rather than enjoying the writing and events and the plot I started treating it like a wiki or a reference book; skipping until I reached the stuff that was important.

This unfortunately brings me back memories to another book. I had to slog through the boredom and frustration that was “A Feast for Crows” 750 pages of GRRM bad idea.  It is possible to be great writer and  make really bad decisions.  GRRM’s writing? Excellent! His characters? Great! His Plot? A mistake, anauthor getting lost in his theme and neglecting to progress his narrative and wasting the audience’s time. 

 Now I am not calling George or Tamsyn a bad writer, but they both made a boneheaded series of decisions.  Muir decides to radically change the entire style and characters for each book.  Actually when put like that Muir is crossing over M. Knight Shyamalan territory, using the change in main characters as a trope crutch the same way he used twists. She managed to pull this off in book two because we had grown to know and care for Harrow in Book 1 and thus when got to book two with an incredible examination of a brilliant yet fractured mind you got novelty but also a sense of progression and insight into the event staking place in the story.  But Nona never appeared in book 2 save as a nearly mute apparition. Thus in my case my frustration began to show through when I didn’t connect with that puddle of sugar water and I became bored with her class room antics and her little clique of rote friends.  I was sold with Gideon the Ninth and I raged when Gideon sacrificed herself to save Harrow and I was excited when Gideon reappeared at the end of book 2 and then nothing.  Forgive me for thinking the main protagonists of books one and two would make a significant appearance.  I loved Gideon and Harrow I endured the naivety and passivity of Nona.  Gideon and Harrow had relatable experiences and emotions, Nona had a nonsensical and alien and utterly relatable existence created through magic and plot contrivance.

I had to endure years of reading bullshit form supposedly smart people telling me that A Feast for Crows and a Dance with Dragons was anything other the author dropping the ball. His editor should have slapped twice in the face and told him to finish the goddamn story rather than dick around with the dozen or so secondary characters he shoves into every book.  I have heard your excuses “But it’s supposed to be frustrating and boring” “It’s an intermission”  you know what in movies we don’t see the heroes going to the bathroom waiting in line or walking down a hall because it is boring, someone once told me books are real life but without the boring bits. George and Muir created books with all of the boring bits and interesting shit cut out.  Muir created an amazing openly book and a great follow-up but she has zero consistency and an inability to concentrate on the characters themes and storytelling that people to pick her books in the first place.  She wants to write something else, something different? Fine start a new series or write some short stories they can even be in universe but she needs to stop yanking the audience around and actually be consistent for five minutes.  I was promised lesbian duelist and necromancers and I aim to collect.  If she has no intention then announce that she ain’t finishing the series and allow us to write our own fan endings.

Oh for those wondering why I think Muir screwed the fuck up with her saccharine plot it was because in the space of thirty minutes I cam up with a better4 central plot.  Simple give us Harrow and Gideon trading bodies like Camilla and Palamedes and then you can slip Nona-Alecto-Gaia-whatthefuck-whoever in as a mysterious third personality/soul.  Now you have characters we give a fuck about and the new kid that rather than causing the reader to overdose on artificial sweetener is diluted with Gideon’s bravado and Harrows brooding.

[borderlineconfessional]

Nowhere to go and every desire for going there.

A restlessness in my chest, tight, heart beating against my ribs like a bird flying against the bars of a cage. I've always been a runner. Emotionally. Physically. [run to run away run with run for]. Directionless and unsteady, fixated and determined. Things get hard, I want to take flight. Things get easy, they get boring, I need to tie my shoes and hit the ground running. There's a fine line between comfort and pain.

Pendulum thinking. Therapy makes everything so clear yet so confusing. It's like being shown a diagram but without any reference as to what it's for. Trauma response, obvious, less obvious is how to fix it. My heart hurts and all I can think to do is stop the source of the pain. Black and white broken thinking, idealization/devaluation. Maybe it's not a pendulum swing. Maybe it's been a gradual uphill run, taking some jaunts back down to sea level and feeling fine, catching my breath, but then back up again, where the air is thin.

I've been sitting here for five minutes, starting to write and stopping. What I want to say, what I need to say, it's terrifying. I left my session info bombing my therapist with this rock that's been sitting in my stomach for over a year [has it been years?], and waved my hands like a magician and said next time! cheerfully as though I hadn't just said what I'd said. [deflection- I'm always the funny guy, the jokester, everything gets a laugh]. I'm a blurter. She's agreed.

It's hard to know what are my real thoughts and what's bpd. Maybe I'm trying too hard to make a differentiation. [maybe there isn't one]. As I reread this, psychoanalyzing, risk taking behaviour. I imagine red lights and sirens going off. I can only imagine what my therapist is thinking. [hey, don't mind read, you're not psychic- I can hear her saying that.]. How to explain that this is not reactionary [god I think it's been three or four years, not a year.], that it's been a slow, painful, burning jog?

Facts, they're hard to dispute. I've tried to understand this heavy rock of a situation. Cried, yelled, sat with it, pleaded, tried to understand, tried to talk it out, talk it through, name feelings, give possibilities, talked about trauma, nothing changes. Maybe it's just me, maybe it's my wife. Maybe it's just us.

I feel like a cliche. Circling around and around the root of it, finally breathing out that I don't want to be my mother. [it's always childhood, isn't it?] Now I'm worried that I'm just as damaged, maybe moreso, and as unlovable as my mother.

Is that why I've been carrying this rock for so long? Refusing to admit that I'm wrong, that we're wrong together, that we don't fit like we [or I] thought? Questioning motivations. I'm so brutally aware that everything will fall apart if I let go.

Maybe I'm not so different from my mother after all. Cliche. [run run run].