#Top Merlin who's done with his brat prince

[akelafang]

Post magic reveal Merlin who is tired of Arthur still underestimating him, using his magic to push said pratty prince into a wall and getting up in his face to demonstrate his point: I could take over your entire kingdom if I wanted without lifting a finger Arthur the besotted idiot who has been teasing Merlin to goad him into using his magic on him and is getting exactly the reaction he was hoping for: I know

[a-wanderin-whirlybird]

Flight if Destiny: Prologue

(An Ever After High fic, set in an au where the evil queen decides to be a good mom. Cowritten with @offwiththeirbuds )

It was over. Finally. Robin Queen leaned against the back alley wall. Her enemy, Snow White had decided to try and do more than banish her after awakening. She tried to have Robin arrested and tossed in prison. Thankfully Robin hadn't done anything outside the realm of their story, so there was no way to arrest her. But Robin was furious. 

How dare she? Robin only did what was expected and for what? An empty, temporary marriage and a lonely future. 

She could get revenge. Get power and fame on her own and a kingdom to show up that brat Snow White!

Robin sneered, that could work! She could strike Wonderland first, it was disconnected enough from the rest of the world, no one would notice until it was too late. Or maybe she could-

Robin heaved, emptying her stomach contents on the concrete. She had gotten too excited. 

"Crap. Crap. What am I thinking?" Robin hissed, wiping her mouth with the back of her hand while the other gently held her baby bump.

It was a small bump, barely showing, but it was a grounding reminder for Robin. It was so easy to lose herself to the role of Evil Queen and far safer than facing the future after her story. She felt so alone without the story now. All of her friends were just starting their stories while Robin had to start hers immediately out of High school. She was only 27. 

Narrators beyond, she was 27 and expecting! And she had considered world domination? What was she thinking??? 

She hadn't been. In that moment Robin had been scared and alone so she turned to the safety of her role. But… what safety was there in evil? Embracing it would mean she could be truly imprisoned. 

"Funny, how you reminded me I wasn't alone, and you don't even have a heart beat yet." Robin muttered to her belly. She had to be better. Better than Snow who wanted her dead or tortured, better than her mother who left her alone too young. Too focused on the Evil part of the Evil Queen. 

Robin vowed to be better. A Better Mother and Better Person. Robin stamped her foot, eyes narrowing with determination. 

"For you my Baby bird. For you I will face the world. I will be the best Mother for you…" Robin said pulling out a small slip of paper and racing to a nearby pay phone. 

The small paper had a short list of numbers. Friends from school. The top of the list was Nana Breadhouse, she may be the Gingerbread House Witch, and specialized in candy houses, but Nana also had some connections. 

The phone rang.

"Hello?"

"Nana. Its… its Robin."

"Robin?! Are you ok? I heard Snow's speech. Did she?!"

"She tried to arrest me but it didn't work. Nana I need a house Im… Nana I have a kid on the way. I wanted to- I…" Robin felt tears fall. "I almost became my Mom…"

"Oh SweetPlum. Where are you? Ill come get you. We can talk after." Nana said. Robin couldn't help but smile, Nana was the kindest woman.

"I'm in Bookend outside the Library. Ill wait here." Robin said. Her hand never left her little bump, she had to fight the urge to conquer and the little lump was helping.

"I'll be there faster than you can say Taffy, hang on love." Then Robin waited. 

It only took ten minutes for Nana to arrive, her Bubblegum punk hair made her easy to see in the rainy gloom. Nana's Broomstick landed and the plump woman raced over embracing the soaked Robin tightly. Robin held her friend dearly. 

"Oh Honey Tea, come on. Let's get you home and dry. You can tell me what your plan is after we got some food in you." 

"You're the Fairest Nana." Robin hiccuped. Her tears hadn't stopped the entire time. 

"Tell me that after you're dry and warm. Come on." Nana said, pulling Robin onto her broom. Robin leaned into Nana's back as they flew a comfortable silence filling the night air as they escaped the rain clouds and finally reached Nana's home. 

Nana silently ushered Robin inside. Trapper the huntsman was seated by the fire, rocking Nana's 1 year old Ginger. The gruff man looked concerned as Robin was sat down by the fire. 

Trapper gently placed the sleeping Ginger back in her crib and began to sign as Nana raced around. 

"Are you ok? You look awful." He signed, Robin nodded weakly, shivering in her soaked clothes. 

"Im… shaken. But ok, thank you Trap." Robin said, Trapper gave a soft smile and nodded. Only to sign some rather vicious things about their classmate Snow White. Robin shook her head. "Trap its… im not fighting back. I cant. I have a child on the way. I- I refuse to be my mother. Or worse."

"You don't have to do anything. But I could get Arthur and-" Trapper started signing only for Nana to bustle between the two and give Trapper a glare. 

"No. You are not storming the castle Trapper. If you try You get no Daughter time for a month!" Nana scolded in a whisper. Trapper shook his head but signed in agreement. 

"You both adore Ginger so much. I hope I'm as good to my baby Bird…" Robin muttered. Nana Gently pat Robin's hand. 

"You will be darling. Trapper and I have our system. I'm not denying him his ability to be in his daughter's life. And you did the right thing walking away today." Nana said. "Now I have some clothes you can use, tomorrow we can get your stuff back- Robin? Sweet Plum whats-?"

"She burned my stuff." Robin muttered, tears falling anew as she hugged herself tightly. "Snow… She. She did more than try and arrest me. She destroyed all my things. I just did my part! I just did what they expected of me…"

Nana's eyes lit aflame, fury rolling off her like an oven. 

"That, that, That witch! Disgusting. I knew Snow was Twisted but this? And she calls herself a Royal." Nana turned back to Robin, eyes softening. "We will get you new clothes and goods tomorrow. I have an extra plot of land nearby you can live on. We can design it tomorrow as well."

"Doctors appointments." Trapper signed. "We can come with you too." 

"You guys are too good to me. How can I repay you?" Robin asked sniffling.

"How about you babysit some days for us? We can always use an extra hand with Ginger and it will be good practice." Nana offered. 

"Deal."

The next day was strange. Replacing her missing clothes had been easy. Robin knew she needed maternity clothes and she wanted to move away from her old doom and gloom vibe. She wanted to be comfortable and to distance herself from the role of the Evil Queen. 

Then she saw someone she never expected to see. 

"Robin?" 

"Arthur?!" Robin had turned to see her best friend. "Look at you! Your beard came in!"

Arthur laughed, rubbing his blonde hair.

"Yeah and I finally lost the tit scars too. What are you doing this close to Camalot?" He asked. The two walked down the various aisles grabbing what they needed. 

"Oh well. I finished my story and I wanted a fresh start for me and the Baby Bird." Robin explained, Arthur sputtered.

"You're a Mom?!"

"Not yet. I'm expecting. I'm only about a month along." Robin explained giggling as Arthur started blushing. He loved kids, but never really did well with the idea of pregnancy.

"Oh wow! Uh well congrats!" Arthur said. "Uhm… you live nearby? If you do I'm sure Merlin and Giles wouldn't mind if you dropped by. Giles was really worried when news broke that your story started so early."

"That's sweet. I would love to visit. How are your Boys doing?" Robin asked. 

"Oh well… they are doing well. Milkshake is still a jackass to Giles about our relationship. But well… I'm going to propose soon. " Robin gasped.

"Really?! Oh Arty that's wonderful!" 

"Actually I was going to see if Nana knew where you were. I need your help to make it memorable." Arthur said, Robin smiled.

"Of course! You're my Best Friend Forever After. What were you thinking?" Robin asked. Arthur smiled and the two discussed proposal plans.

The next few months were a flurry of building, Reconnecting with friends and doctors. Robin had no time to stop and consider the ever disapearing urge to conquer the world. Instead it was replaced with eagerness to meet her future daughter. 

Robin got to visit Arthur, Merlin and Giles again. Her life was filling up with friends again and she felt lighter than ever. 

Then the sonogram appointment. As she had set it up her doctor had warned her, they would not allow anyone other than the father in with her. Robin was terrified. 

"Birdy whatchya doing so down?" Merlin practically chirped as he picked her up to go for the Sonogram. Robin sighed sitting beside the mage and watching the countryside roll away. 

"My doc warned me they won't let anyone but the father in with me…" Robin muttered. Merlin clicked their tongue 

"Ain't old Good King in a Nursery Home, senile out of his mind? And-" Merlin paused. The Mage was an empath and didn't need any other powers to know why Robin sank into depression when the old king was mentioned. Merlin nodded silently. 

"Fine. I'm the Dad now." Robin jolted up, turning to Merlin.

"What?! Do you honestly think they'll believe that?" Robin asked. Merlin smirked, tossing his scarf to the side. 

"They don't have too. They aren't getting rid of me. Though I'm calling back up." Merlin cooed, casting a minor sending spell before Robin could stop him. 

"Who'd you call?" Robin asked.

"The rest of the fathers!" Merlin said happily. He didn't say anymore until they arrived at the office and the two enter the waiting room. Robin was stressed, clutching her bulging stomach as Merlin went to check her in. She stood near the door, when-

"They let any old rabble in here don't they?" Robin tensed as the sniveling tones of Snow white met her ears. Robin turned. The new Queen was with her Prince, Fabian Charming and obviously expecting as well. 

"Snow." Robin hissed. 

"Queen. What are you doing here? I told them, not to accept your ilk." Snow sneered. "Or did you break in? I can arrest you for trespassing. Better yet I should have the guards toss you out. Maybe you'll get the mess- AIYYYYYYYYYY!"

Snow shrieked as her dress suddenly burst into Merlin's iconic Pink flames. Merlin sauntered up and slung an arm around Robin. She didn't realize she had been hyperventilating until then. 

Fabian put out his wife and glared at the smirking Merlin. 

"Oops, sorry I still miss fire when I get stressed ya know? And our girl is expecting our little bird, of course Im stressed." Merlin purred.

"Our?" Fabian muttered.

"Yes. Ours. Move Fabian." The Charming swung around to find Giles, Arthur and Trapper in the doorway. Arthur looked slightly mortified and Trapper looked ready for a fight. But it made Robin feel safer. 

"What is the meaning of this?" Snow hissed, shaking off the ashes of the fire. "I know none of you are the father!"

"No we all are. Because we were asked to be." Giles said calmly as Arthur pushed over to Robin and held her close. 

"No you weren't. Merlin decided." Robin muttered to Arthur who snorted. 

"You didn't say no." Arthur retaliated earning a laugh from Robin as Snow tsked.

"What ever. Just Leave, I have an appointment here!" 

"So do we." Merlin said as a nurse came up, nervously fiddling with her clipboard.

"Uhm, Ms. Queen? We are ready for you and uh… your child's fathers?" She seemed to ask if the four men were with her despite knowing the anwser. Snow went slack Jared as Robin left, surrounded by her friends. 

The panic the run in caused vanished when she saw her daughter the first time. She cried so hard, her baby Bird was healthy and growing. And Robin forgot all about Snow White.

Then her new home had been built not 2 miles from Nana's own home. Robin could easily visit and watch Ginger, who was growing so fast. 

Robin helped Arthur propose to his boyfriends. Merlin may have been a powerful mage. But Robin was the trickiest witch alive. She was able to make the moment Magical without Merlin catching on. 

And of course they said yes. The three looked radiant at their wedding. Merlin opting for a ballgown as he preferred and Giles and Arthur for a suit and armor respectively. And Robin was Arthur's Best Witch. 

Then suddenly Robin was giving birth, post ceremony. Nine months had gone by so fast. And before she knew it, Robin was holding her daughter in her Best Witch suit. She was so small and pale with a little silky tuft of black and Purple hair.

Raven Queen entered the world in Summer. Greeted by her mother and her friends. 

[iwritethat]

Fantasy AU

Damian Wayne: Merlin

A/N: I had to cut paragraphs out of this. Paragraphs. I got so carried away oml...

>>>>—————————>

If you asked about magic in the kingdom of Ravaryn you'd receive contradicting responses, some of fear, others of awe and randomly your name would come up in conversation. The residents reciting legends of 'Merlin' from Camelot - you,  which was mildly amusing but they would visit your lost forest home for favour exchanges and for answers about their future. Despite this you took the time to traverse the kingdoms, gathering knowledge and potion components throughout the nations like Ravaryn but your favourite was most definitely Gotham. Firstly it was where you attained the most business and secondly it had an intriguing form of nightlife, The Dark Knight and the '4 Horsemen' as you liked to call them made sure of that - the 4 being his former sidekicks.

Though when you first arrived in the nation as apart of your personal anonymous Quest you didn’t expect the requester to be Grand Duke Bruce Wayne nor did you foresee ending up contracted to Master Damian Wayne (against his wishes of course). No, due to his confident nature and numerous adventurous quests Bruce would prefer he had a companion as a safety net, who better than a famous powerful mage? Who better than you?

Quests were a way of income, people in dire need would declare their problem on a poster and offer payment for those able to help. They’d take travellers to the farthest reaches of the kingdom but the National Hall in the Capital of Ravaryn was where all requests were sent, an average trek from Gotham. Villages would ask to dispose of a plaguing creature, police ask for assistance in hunting down murderers and the rich would request ancient artefacts. Damian, now a young adult, wanted to help people when the nightly escapades were covered by his family, he did it to reconcile for his past associations, a topic buried in secrets.

Despite every single protest, every single insult, you still walked at the side of Damian as he journeyed through the harsh Congelationis Mountains, infamous for the bone chilling winters all year round. You were hunting a devious frost giant, nasty creatures who plagued forgotten villages on their hunt for human flesh and although you would have to kill it, you’d keep their never-melting crystal horns as medicine ingredients. He was still adamant that you didn’t exist, that is until he tired of your absentminded questions that spilled due to your boredom and when playing with your sparkling displays became a chore.

“No answer, how predicable. Then what’s it like living -“

“Why haven’t you teleported to the top already, you’re perfectly capable street magician!” Damian demanded, halting in his tracks causing you to bump into him.

“Because the journey is the best part of the quest, there’s no fun in skipping to the end or else you miss the story. It becomes meaningless and you learn nothing.”

“...”

You raised your brow at his speechless stature, your answer bewildering to him and you received only a nod. Shockingly, you had managed to complete that mission and were not anticipating the next.

.

You begrudgingly arrived at the Wayne Castle with your bag packed from the Inn, Damian scowling at your presence alone.

“What are you doing here Merlin?”

“Little birdie told me you’re off on a mission, it’s my job to accompany you.”

“I never invited you (l/n).”

“Like I’d chose to go with an arrogant noble like you but unfortunately I’m under contract from your Father so keep up Damian.” You sassily replied, strolling down the stone staircase at the entrance where he followed with displeased arguments.

Slaying dragons? Done it.

Capturing criminals? Easy.

Treasure Hunting for the museums and research centres? Fun.

Your lastest escapade being casting ancient demons back to the pits of Hell after a cult had unwittingly disrespecting their offerings. As you both discussed the quest over a meal in Kent’s Ol’ Tavern, the constant disputes and hateful lack of communication were forgotten as you retold the events to Jon, a friend of Damian’s and son of the Tavern owner. Jon relished in the growing connection and enthusiasm you two shared as you bounced off one another, he’d heard of your adventures before as guests gossiped and apparently you were quite the dynamic team sought after for the most difficult requests. That was something you didn’t foretell either.

So maybe working with a noble brat wasn’t so bad, but to put up with his aggravating personality you might need a pay rise.

.

As time progressed, and the quests you took became uncountable, you consequently grew closer than you’d ever considered. To the point it had you doubting your ability to look into the future - Damian was never seen in yours and yet here you were, you could see part of his but not all of it. Confusing was an understatement, what made him so special to your path in life? Regardless, you requested that Bruce stopped paying you to be his bodyguard as it was no longer such a relationship - this wasn’t a job to you anymore, it was a pleasure and you considered Damian a friend. Besides, the valuable ingredients from your adventures was payment enough.

It occurred to you that Bruce had informed him of this new development, it was the subtle displays that brought such information to your attention. His attitude toward you subconsciously changed knowing that you now chose to be by side rather than being bound by the laws of a contract. You’d even taken up residence in Gotham, for how long he did not know, but having the freedom to randomly drop by your place was appreciated. Whether it be a knock at your door or window, you’d open it to Damian holding out a request slip he thought you’d like - when you went to the Ravaryn National Hall to view the Quest Board he’d skip past higher paying ones, instead ripping down posters offering the most ingredients for you.

“Damian... why are you paying me? What do you want?” Your tone was suspicious, eyeing the pouch of gold he held out to you.

“I’m not paying you witch, it’s half of the reward money. You need to pay rent don’t you?” He scoffed, his rhetorical question ringing true as he gently grasped your hand, placing the pouch into it with a smirk.

Maybe this partnership had escalated further than you thought considering the popularity and endless supply of personal requests you’d received. Many would pay to be the chosen company of Master Damian Wayne yet he refused all of them stating that you were adequate enough. He’d be offended when others would offer to purchase your services but grew adamantly smug when you’d decline and inform them that you had no intention of leaving the famous tag team you’d created.

You’d met his family who told you differently, Dick greeting you with “You must be the amazing Merlin, Damian says you’re irreplaceable (Y/n) so it’s nice to finally meet the first person he thinks highly of.”

They had all heard of your existence even if they hadn’t formally met you, the powerful illusive sorcerer that accompanied Damian in his life threatening travels and a close friend.

On one particular hunt, you sat warming yourself in front of the flame you’d concocted and delved into each other’s private lives. You’d learned he was the son of Talia Al Ghul and spent half of his life as an assassin for the League, in exchange you explained how you’d ended up with the nickname ‘Merlin’. It was no secret you found contentment in each other’s presence nor was it odd to see you together outside of your journeys - in fact it was stranger to see you alone.

.

Tonight was no different, Bruce was throwing an extravagant gala in hopes of providing the opportunity for his sons to find partners they deemed eligible. It wasn’t really the type of activity Damian or his brothers relished in but Bruce at least wanted one grandchild and to see them live happily ever after.

Currently you were searching for Damian amidst the flowing gowns and bustling crowds of sweet giggles that painfully rang in your eardrums, it wasn’t until you’d reached the castle gardens that you found him - though you certainly weren’t the first there. A horde of glamorous females shamelessly flirted with him, the sweet, innocent princesses obviously hoping to become his future duchess - the hair twirling, batting of eyelashes and lingering touches sparking a few colourful explosions on your fingertips. However, witnessing the exasperated flash in Damian’s irises stirred amusement despite his contrasting fake smiles and polite(ish) attitude towards them. How much fun you could have~

A low deathly growl sounded from behind Damian and the group of women, the male instinctively alert at the familiar threatening warning from creatures you’d fought before. His brothers may have to assist if he couldn’t dispose of the creature before it reached the castle, carefully constructive tactics raced through his mind as he gazed up at the snarling beast. The flurry of princesses released gut wrenching screams, squirrelling away leaving Damian to fend off a terrifying dangerous Dragon with scales darker than blackest night yet shimmered as brilliantly as diamond under moonlights kiss as it curled it’s tail around his perimeter. The Prince much to your surprise seemed unimpressed once taking in the threat, offering his signature “-TT-“ as he met the Dragons glowing crimson gaze and raised a brow.

“I could handle them.” A simple statement, but it told you everything you needed to know so with a tornado of (f/c) mist surrounding you, your form morphed back to your original form. You took a few steps to meet Damian’s side as the smoke dispersed around your feet and crossed your arms. He flicked to you, looking your figure up down and finding it appealing to the eyes, he was incredibly lucky to call you his companion in all honesty and the beautifully flattering black gown/suit you wore was simply magical, almost comparing to the scales that once decorated you. Almost.

“How’d you know it was me?”

“I’m offended you’d think I wouldn’t after all the time we’ve spent together, I know you’re capable of changing your form. And that is not how the story goes (L/n).”

“I like my version better, the dragon saves the Prince from devious princesses. Captivating if I do say so myself.” A pleased grin remained in your lips as you turned to a genuinely amused Damian.

“Agreed. Now, if you’re my companion on our quests then surely a ball is no different (l/n).” His gaze shifted to you once more, offering his arm as an escort.

“I suppose not Damian, but if by some mysterious miracle a report of a dangerous monster lingering outside of town appears... we should attend to that.” You innocently shrugged, linking your arm with his but Damian detected the underlying mischievousness in your voice and played along accordingly.

“Report of a monster hm? We should inform Father immediately.”

“Hey, give it 5 minutes. I would like to have one dance since I’m all dressed up.”

“I’d be much obliged, then we’ll find a better way to spend our time.” He automatically assigned himself your dance partner, no else would be deemed good enough for you by his standards anyway.

“You mean find the ‘monster’.” Your free hand quoting the last word as you corrected him.

“Exactly.”

.

So maybe you couldn’t see your future as long as you stayed with Damian, but the unknown certainly seemed appealing as long as it was spent with him. Although there was so much you didn’t know about your intertwining destinies...

[bollywood-and-phoenix-feather]

*sails in* soooo if you're still taking prompts *waggles eyebrows* Can I get cutesy Maurauders + Lily shenanigans? Idek what kind of shenanigans, but preferably pre-ship mutually pining wolfstar & pre-ship banter Jily. I was gonna ask for angst but then I realized that my poor heart Can't Take It.

no angst, she says

sorry this took me forever babe

read it on ao3 here

James and Sirius are, with their usual propensity for very bad timing, having a Standoff.

Peter knows this because James has actually finished his homework on Cheering Charms, despite his continued and vociferous objections when the assignment was announced in class. This, naturally, means that James will have an excuse to be best friends with Remus and ignore Sirius; ergo, Remus will be quite obviously too happy to be included to worry overmuch about Gryffindor Tower’s resident drama queen. In sum (and here’s what Peter’s good at; not charms, but people) - in sum, this means that Peter will be stuck entertaining Sirius Arsing Black while pretending that he wouldn’t rather be literally anywhere else.

That’s the thing about the four of them; they’re really only friends sometimes, and how many friends each of them has varies based on the day and its succession of probabilities; minimum none, maximum three, with Remus, to his astonishment, holding the candle for the highest calculated mean.

Remus must be the easiest to get along with; he’s quiet and unassuming and mostly just astonished to have friends. It works, of course, for James and Sirius, who probably get off on being adored, but not Peter. Peter is content to watch.

Does that make him strange?

He wonders this, as Sirius places another card on top of the already-precarious house of Exploding Snaps Cards. As a rule, the sharper Sirius’s fragile construction’s angles, the more brassed off he is, and today the cards are nearly vertical. Peter is aware, distantly, that he’s going to win, and that this will sour Sirius’s mood further. He wonders if he can Incendio his own stack without Sirius noticing.

He probably can. Sirius isn’t a watcher, like Peter, which brings him back to the point, as he nudges his wand inside his pocket and then darts back before the cards explode spectacularly in his face. Peter doesn’t, actually, think it’s strange. Really, he sometimes thinks he’s the most Gryffindor of them all; he’s good at losing himself and being brave for others - at looking at the bigger picture, at realizing that some things are more important than his own insecurities.

This also has the consequence of making him the most valuable Marauder. James and Sirius are too flashy to be of much pranking use; Remus not daring enough - so it falls to Peter to mastermind, to use the genius that surrounds him to bring pranks to life.

This is why James and Peter are friends. Sirius and Peter are friends because Peter takes slightly less bullshit from him than James does. Remus and Peter, however -

Remus and Peter are friends because of the boggart assignment.

Remus and Peter are friends because Peter knows about Remus and the full moon, and Remus knows about Peter’s Muggle dad, and they very particularly don’t talk about it and instead tell each other the locations of their private Honeydukes stashes.

(They are also friends because when Peter, watching as always, saw the way Remus stared at Sirius like he was the star he was named for, he just offered him an Acid Pop - one pain to distract from another.)

Peter realizes with a dawning self-awareness that Sirius may not, in fact, be the most dramatic of their lot. Then again, thirteen though they may be, they are simultaneously much older with experience and much younger with the giddy freedom Hogwarts provides - all except for James, who knows what it is to grow up happy, who actually looks forward to summer hols.

(In two years, Sirius will get absolutely sloshed on nicked Firewhisky and admit to Peter, slurred and soft, that no, I wouldn’t trust myself with one of them little buggers, the whole bloody world knows I’m too much like that - that - absolute tit of a Mum I’ve got, but really Peter, one day you ‘n James 'n Remus 'n especially James are going to raise a whole host of brats, and you bet I’m gonna be there to treat them right -

Peter will carefully omit the fact that Remus once told him something very similar, in the lofty tones he gets after the moon when he’s too tired to soften his speech - I’d never wish that kind of - that fucking wolf - on a kid, Peter, I couldn’t -

Good thing you’re bent as Wagnar the Wild’s cursed dick, then, Peter will say, just to make him laugh, even though it’s not, strictly, true. Remus will smile anyway.)

Pain and love and heartbreak, which are all the same thing; prank plans and maps that melt back into their parchment - Peter keeps these close to his chest, guarding them because they belong to his friends. He’s always been their Secret-Keeper, and Merlin knows they need one, these boys with brazenness hanging around their shoulders like tattered Quidditch cloaks, who wouldn’t know subtlety if it was printed on Snape’s gray underpants.

Right now, for example, the night of October 30th, that brazenness is in full force - right now, James and Sirius are having a Standoff, and Peter holds the secret behind this too.

He’d like to think that this one is a little more painless than the others, but where Snivellus is involved, that’s never true. Slimy Snape, however, isn’t the secret this time - it’s his friend with the blazing hair and attitude and the heavy, heavy chip on her shoulder.

(Peter thinks distantly that his friends should have better taste.)

“Now that Prince James has condescended to grace us with his presence - ”

“I was helping Evans with her detention, fuck off - ”

“ - and has perhaps remembered who his real friends are - ”

“Sirius, I swear on Merlin’s saggy fucking tits - ”

“Language,” says Remus, idly. “Are we going to start or not?” Peter meets his eye, rewards him with a sympathetic eyeroll for speaking up.

“We might have an hour ago if James hadn’t run off with some - ”

“Jealousy is unbecoming,” Remus starts -

“As if you’ve ever had to deal with being jealous - ” Sirius says, immediately. Peter winces, and Remus colors, shutting his mouth audibly.

Peter chooses this moment to clear his throat. “Three cheers for Sirius, who got the mass release charm working,” he says, raising his voice, because flattery always smooths things over. The teachers think he worships the other three, but that’s not quite true; he’s just more willing to concede. Less stubborn pride, a bit more sense. “Did we decide on Dungbombs or Smokebombs?” he asks, opening the floor.

With a - thank Merlin - minimum of whinging, the annual Halloween Prank Planner’s Meeting Number Four is set back on track.

James makes a lot of hand gestures. Sirius makes a lot more hand gestures, most of which are more crude. Remus pokes at places on a map of the castle with his wand, letting it spark each time he does. Sirius yells a little, James yells quite a lot, and Remus yells not at all.

Peter watches, and decides.

It’s always worked for them, and it will this time as well. Without too much broken glass, and less ripped curtains than last year, the plans are set.

The evening of the Halloween feast is crisp and clear; they watch the artificial sky closely for rain, but Fortune has conceded to favor their audacity. It’s the first year they’ve tried anything bigger than the Gryffindor common room, and Peter can see it on their faces, alive and dancing. Remus has placed the bombs, James and Sirius have activated the delayed release charms, and Peter has headed off Crib, the aging Squib janitor.

The stage is set, Peter thinks, and he settles in to watch.

It is, in his definitely-unbiased opinion, thoroughly magnificent. Thick, magenta-orange smoke billows from the mouth of each painstakingly-charmed gargoyle, smothing teachers and students alike in vibrant powder. When everyone is coughing, wands lit to see through the haze, Sirius lights the powder with a flick of his wand, unleashing a Halloween surprise on the unsuspecting student body.

Teachers watch their teeth lengthen and bloody in horror as their faces dip with unnatural pallor; the Hufflepuff table sprouts fur in Remus’s idea of a bad joke. The Slytherin table (obviously) grows scales; Snivellus gets to turn into an eel, wet and flopping around, causing most of the table to shriek in disgust. The Gryffindor and Ravenclaw students sprout feathers, the Gryffindors puffing up towards the ceiling like balloons while the Ravenclaws see their arms growing membranous bat wings.

In the middle are the Marauders, triumphant with faces and robes alight.

As quickly as it starts, it’s over; students and teachers sink gratefully back into their own bodies, with the exception of Snivellus. With a little more work, Peter thinks, they could extend the spell to hit during classes instead of at the feast.

Professor McGonagall is furious, and good old Dumbledore orders them to his office immediately, but Peter can see McGonagall’s mouth twitching furiously, the sparkle in Dumbledore’s blue eyes. They’re safe, for now.

Sirius is hollering with fierce joy - “Bloody well worked, didn’t it, well done Lupin - ”

“It was you, you got the charm working - ”

“ - don’t you lot go forgetting who placed all those fiddly smoke bombs,” James puts in, not willing to be left out.

Peter grins as he watches them argue, because these are his friends and today, they’re kings.

*

The trip to the headmaster’s goes much as expected. Dumbledore and McGonagall take each of them aside, asking if they might possibly know the instigator’s of tonight’s antics.

Peter shakes his head, lets his eyes go wide and innocent. “It was probably one of the fourth-years,” he says. “Saw Bones and her Hufflepuff friends looking shifty this morning.”

McGonagall’s nostrils flare. “Pettigrew,” she says, not unkindly. “It will be better for both you and your friends if you tell me the truth.”

Dumbledore’s gaze pierces him, and Peter swallows down a sudden, bright gulp of fear. They’ll all get detention anyway, and he doubts anyone would see him any differently if he told - after all, everyone already knows they did it, Sirius was yelling loud enough to wake the ghosts -

Someone bangs on the office door. “Minnie,” says James, impudent. “We didn’t do it, we swear! Can we go, now?”

His friends are outside, and he’s their Secret-Keeper. Peter smiles guilelessly at the two, and says, “I am telling the truth, Professors.”

*

Peter is right. They get detention anyway and Sirius complains bitterly and Remus just smiles in resignation and rolls up his sleeves and James throws an arm around Peter’s shoulder and tells him thanks for not telling, I know you were scared, and Peter wonders suddenly if he’s not the only one who watches.

*

(It’s still the best day of their lives. The Halloween Prank is cemented as tradition almost immediately; the full moon is conveniently avoiding the Halloween weekend, which means they can plot, succeed, and drink celebratory butterbeer the night of Sirius’s birthday in peace.

McGonagall’s punishment doesn’t start until the fourth of November - Sirius says it’s because Minnie secretly cares and doesn’t want to lock him up in detention on his birthday, but James thinks it’s Dumbledore’s idea of a last hurrah. Peter thinks they’re both right.

Later, when the other two are asleep, Sirius will confide to him, hushed and young, I hope it’s like this always.)