#Two Cars in Every Garage and Three Eyes on Every Fish

[flyinghellfish]

[misterspectacular]

Mr. Burns in 2x04: Two Cars in Every Garage and Three Eyes on Every Fish

---

This is a Burns-centric episode and sadly Tumbler has a "30 images per post" limit. I could reblog off my own post with a continuation but I would rather not -- that gets overstimulating. So there will be a lot of text in this post in place of screenshots. I kept as many of the best screenshots as I could, though.

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Mr Burns: Hi-ho, faceless employees. In a few moments, the government inspection team will be here… so look busy and keep quiet! That is all. Smithers: Very stirring, sir.

Mr. Burns: (Smiles)

Smithers: Uh-oh. Here they come. Mr. Burns: Hold me, Smithers. Smithers: (Holds)

---

(all standing in a pool of radioactive fluid) Mr. Burns: Look here, inspector. Can I speak to you privately in my office? --- Inspector: Mr. Burns, in 20 years, I have never seen such a shoddy, deplorable --

Mr. Burns: Oh, look! Some careless person has left thousands of dollars… just lying here on my coffee table! Smithers, why don't we leave the room… and hopefully, when we return, the pile of money will be gone. (closes door.) (opens door) (inspector hasn't taken the money)

Mr. Burns: Oh, look, Smithers. The money and a very stupid man are still here! Inspector: Burns, if I didn't know better, I'd think you were trying to bribe me. Mr. Burns: Is there some confusion about this?! Take it, take it, take it, you poor shmo!

Inspector: Mr. Burns! I'm going to overlook this felony, however I will not overlook the 342 violations I have observed at your plant today. Either bring this place up to code or we'll shut it down.

Mr. Burns: Sighs. Oh well. A little dab of paint here, a little spackle there. How much could it possibly cost to fix this place up? Smithers: (calculates) Hmm. Approximately $56 million, sir. Mr. Burns: 56 million?! Smithers: Don't hit me, sir!

Mr. Burns: Oh, that I had the strength to take it out on you, Smithers. Now, please go. I would be alone.

(many hours pass) Mr. Burns: (Singing) Once I built a railroad... made it run...

Mr. Burns: (sniffles) (continues to sing) ... made it race against time... Once I built a railroad... now it's done. Brother, can you spare a dime?

Mr. Burns: (continues drunkenly singing) Half a million boots went slogging through hell... I was a kid with a drum!

---

Mr. Burns: Say, don't you remember, they called me Al; it was Al all the time! Say, don't you remember, I'm your pal? Buddy, can you spare a dime? (cries)

Homer: Sorry, sir, it's just me, Homer Simpson!

Mr. Burns: Working late, Simpson?

---

(Homer gives Mr. Burns the idea to run for governor of Springfield)

---

Mr. Burns: Why are my teeth showing like that? Man (advisor type guy): Because you're smiling! Mr. Burns: Ah, excellent! This is the kind of trickery I'm paying you for!

---

Man: Now remember to smile. Mr. Burns: I AM smiling. Man: You're gonna have to do better than that. Mr. Burns: (grunts and groans) How's this? Man: There you go! Mr. Burns: I'm going to be sore tomorrow.

---

Mr. Burns: Hello, friends. I'm here to talk to you about my little friend, here, Blinky. (reveals mutated 3-eyed fish) Many of you consider him to be a hideous genetic mutation. Well, nothing could be further from the truth!

(An actor portraying Charles Darwin explains that the fish has 3 eyes due to evolution and is definitely not a product of the nuclear waste of Burns' Nuclear Power Plant.)

---

Man: The voters now see you as imperial and God-like. Mr. Burns: (low) Hot dog. Man: But there's a downside to it. The latest polls indicate that you're in danger of losing touch with the common man. Mr. Burns: (sarcastic) Oh, dear! Heaven forfend!

Man: Which is why the night before the election, we want you to have dinner at the home of one of your workers. Mr. Burns: Oh, I get your angle. Every Joe Meatball and Sally Housecoat in this God-forsaken state will see me hunkering down for chow with Eddie Punchclock. The media will have a field day!

(To no one's surprise, they choose Homer haha)

---

---

(He says he's going to lower taxes every five seconds, it's hilarious.)

---

(Marge serves Burns the 3-eyed fish for a meal. He does his best to eat it, and cannot. The advisor's give up on him and tell him he's cooked.)

---

In a rage, Mr. Burns starts destroying The Simpson's furniture. Or the furniture that's light enough for him to push over, anyway.

Lisa: Mr. Burns, I hardly see what destroying our meager possessions is going to accomplish. Mr. Burns: Oh, she's right. Take me home, Smithers. We'll destroy something tasteful.

Mr. Burns: Ironic, isn't it, Smithers? This anonymous clan of slack-jawed troglodytes has cost me the election! And yet if I were to have them killed, I would be the one to go to jail! That's democracy for you! Smithers: You are noble and poetic in defeat, sir.

[filmjunky-99]

t h e s i m p s o n s, 1989 - 📺 created by matt groening [two cars in every garage and three eyes on every fish, s2ep4]

'All right! We eat tonight!' - bart

'Wait a minute. One... Two... Three...' - repoter

[duranduratulsa]

Up next on my 90's Fest Movie 🎬 🎞 🎥 🎦 📽 marathon... The Simpsons: Two Cars In Every Garage And Three Eyes On Every Fish (1990) on classic DVD 📀! #tv #television #animation #comedy #thesimpsons #twocarsineverygarageandthreeeyesoneveryfish #DVD #90s #90sfest #durandurantulsas4thannual90sfest

[disillusioneddanny]

Every Third Saturday (Tim/Danny)

Tim grinned wide as he finished fastening his fanny pack over his shoulder and slung it across his chest as he waited patiently for his fiance to finish getting his boots on. Ever since Danny had started his final year of college at Gotham University, the couple didn’t get the chance to go on dates nearly as often. Not when Danny was in school and working two part-time jobs and Tim was CEO and working nights as Red Robin. 

So the two had agreed that every third Saturday was for them. No homework, no work, no vigilante shit, just the two of them spending the entire day together and enjoying their company. It was the best way for the couple to catch up with one another and just be together. 

“Ready?” He asked once Danny sat upright and stretched his arms. 

Danny smiled and stood from his seat before he came over and wrapped Tim in his arms and gave him a deep kiss. “Yes, I’m ready,” he said, his lips still ghosted along Tim’s. The vigilante nearly swooned as Danny looked him over with a lust filled eye and laced their fingers together. 

“So, what did you plan for us today?” Tim asked as the two started walking out to the garage and towards Tim’s car. 

“I was thinking of an aquarium date,” Danny told him with a wry smile, his thumb rubbed along the back of Tim’s hand. He smiled to himself and pulled out his keys with his free hand. 

He and Danny had been dating for roughly three years now and every day Tim found himself loving the man more and more. He had met Danny at a coffee shop that the man was working at part time during college. Danny was the only barista who would indulge Tim in his expresso heart attack coffee each time he came by and soon Tim found himself going less for the coffee and more for the pretty barista who would flirt with him each time he came in. 

“That sounds like fun,” Tim said, glancing over at Danny who had slipped on his sunglasses before the two climbed into the car. 

Danny had eventually given Tim his number on a receipt after weeks of flirting with one another and after hours of goading and convincing from Bernard and Steph, Tim finally reached out to Danny and set up a date. 

Three years later and now he and the halfa were living together in Tim’s home in the Monarch Theater and were engaged. Tim had to be honest, he had never been so happy in his life. 

Not only had he found someone who he loved beyond measure, but someone who despite being mostly retired from the gig, knew what the life of a vigilante was like and accepted that part of Tim and loved that part of Tim. It was more than he could ever ask for from a partner and Tim was grateful every single day that he had gotten so lucky. 

“Yeah, I was thinking a lazy day with just us hanging out and looking at cool fish would be fun,” Danny said. The two buckled in and Tim started the drive to the Gotham Aquarium. 

“I’ve never been to an aquarium,” Tim mused. 

“Neither have I,” Danny admitted, taking Tim’s hand in his once more. 

That was another thing that Tim found that he adored about Danny. The halfa just understood Tim in a lot of ways a lot people didn’t. Sure, Danny’s parents had been a different flavor of neglectful than Tim’s had been but he understood what it was like to have a lackluster childhood because of his parents being more interested in their jobs than their children. Tim knew what that was like deeply and he found comfort in knowing that Danny was so interested in experiencing things he had missed in his childhood. 

A majority of their dates were things that a majority of people would consider childish. Dates to the zoo, rollerskating, going to the park, arcade dates, they were the things that Tim held near and dear to his heart, things that he looked forward to more than any fancy dinner or gala that they would go to together. 

“But I’ve always wanted to go to an aquarium and see some sharks,” Danny told him with a toothy grin. 

“Of course you would want to go see the sharks,” Tim said with a snort. Danny just smiled and made a whining noise as a coffee shop came into view. He looked over at his fiance who was now staring out the window longingly and let out a huff of a laugh before he pulled into the drivethru. 

…

“He looks like Bruce,” Danny said, his nose pressed against the glass as he watched a fangtooth fish swim by sluggishly. 

Tim snorted and elbowed his fiance in the ribs. “Don’t be mean,” he said and Danny snickered, shaking his head as he did before he allowed Tim to tug him away from the exhibit and towards the next one showing a large tank full of angel fish. 

“Those are pretty,” Tim said and Danny flashed him a grin that already had Tim groaning in defeat as the man stepped closer to him. 

“You’re prettier,” Danny crooned, taking Tim’s hand in his and tugging him close. 

“I hate you, I’m taking back the ring and I’m canceling the wedding,” he said with a groan as Danny gave him a pouty look, his bottom lip pushed out dramatically. 

“You love me, Timothy, don’t deny your affections for me,” he said, hooking his fingers in Tim’s belt loops and pulled him close. Tim just smiled and gave him a quick peck. 

“Quit flirting with me, you promised me sharks and I saw that they let you pet them,” Tim told him, their lips just centimeters from one another. Danny grinned and gave him one more kiss before he let go of Tim’s belt loops and twined their fingers together and dragged him down the hall of the aquarium, taking in the colorful and unique fish as they did. 

“They’re so neat,” Danny breathed, craning his head back to look at the sharks that swam from overhead. The aquarium had a long tunnel where the sharks would swim around them, overhead, underneath and on both sides of the long tube. 

“You know, I think Aquaman owes me a favor,” Tim murmured, soaking in the feeling of Danny’s hand wound in his as he looked at a large tiger shark stare at him and Danny. “Maybe we could go down to Atlantis some time?” 

Danny grinned. “How would you survive? I don’t particularly remember breathing under water as a specific talent of yours, Pavo,” he teased and Tim scowled and pinched the man in the side lightly. 

“Oh and it’s one of yours?” He asked and Danny chuckled. 

“I’m dead, Timmy Two Shoes. I don’t need to breathe,” he said and as if to prove a point Tim watched as his fiance’s chest stopped moving as he stopped breathing altogether and just walked on. 

Tim just scowled and let out a quiet harumph noise. “I would just have my amazing and talented fiance figure something out for me,” he said and tilted his head. “Or maybe Kaldur could help me out with it? I bet he would have some ideas,” he reasoned and Danny just stuck his tongue out at him. 

“Danny you can start breathing again, I get it,” Tim said with a huff as they continued walking through the tunnel, their hands swung between them.

Danny’s chest started to move once again as they came to the end of the tunnel. 

“What do you wanna see next?” Danny asked, looking around. “There’s the fish petting zoo where we can pet a sting ray and some other weird fish or we can go look at freshwater fish,” Danny asked and Tim simply smiled and bumped shoulders with the halfa. 

“I’m happy with whatever, I’m having a lot of fun with you,” he said honestly. “I didn’t think I’d enjoy an aquarium so much.”

“It’s because of me, I’m a blast, most fun person to ever spend time with,” Danny said and Tim just let out a soft laugh and leaned into his fiance. 

“It is,” He admitted. “You are.”

Danny simply wrapped his arm around Tim’s shoulders and continued through the aquarium, giving input here and there as they walked and Tim just soaked it all in, his heart incredibly full as they just enjoyed their comfortable time together. He would never get over just how lucky he was to have his fiance, to have every third Saturday with just the two of them.

[allieinarden]

I knew I’d be thinking of more Simpsons episodes to add to that very often-the-cuff list but how the HECK did I forget “Two Cars in Every Garage and Three Eyes on Every Fish”?!?!

[popculturebuffet]

James Earl Jones Memorial Halloween Special: Treehouse of Horror I Review! (Comission by WeirdKev27)

Happy Halloween all you happy people! I"m amped not just because I love spooky season: the decoratoins, the candy, the excuse to inject horror into my veins but that we get to talk about one of my faviorite shows. Despite the many, MANY simpsons refrences that grace this fair blog, largely thanks to the site frinkiac for making it easy to meme any simpsons refrence that ops into my dome, I don't cover the show itself often. A lot of it is simple: I just forget to and what retrospectives me or kev have had ideas for have never materialized. Still Kevin, my producer and frequent comissioner, found a perfect episode to cover for the perfect reason: last month legendary actor, voice actor and voice in general James Earl Jones sadly passed and while trying to think of something, Kev brought up how James is present in all three seconds of the first treehouse of horror.

It was a great prospect both to honor james, as he has a sizeable role in the second segment and is essentailly the star of the third as the narrator, and to explore an episode of simpsons I don't really watch. I didn't watch season 2 much to begin wtih as a kid, and don't really now, and didn't like the middle segment. Petty I know, it's the same reason I don't watch Treehouse of Horror IV as much as I should when I can just.. skip the middle segment and enjoy devil flanders and dracula burns. So it was a chance to explore a treehouse I really didnt' know that well and to honor a man who was a part of my childhood and adulthood and general seemed like a kind, resonable person. So in honor of james and to give this episode a fair shake, join me under the cut for some halloween fun with everyone's faviorite family.

We open with Marge warning everybody, a fun idea that works well and would get played with in later specials. The insperation for this one according to writer Al Jean was EC Comics, doing that sort of horror anthology thing tales of the crypt used to do in comics and would again.

The wraparound is a fun and simple one. I also miss them doing these as while I get why it stopped, to give the segments more times, they were a lot of fun, paticuarlly III's halloween party. This one has Bart telling scary stories to lisa in the treehouse, a fun little premise. Homer is listening in because he just finished trick or treating, none of which is suprising but is still entertaining. We'll come back to this at the end for now let's dive into the meat of this special

Soooo hot take.. this was my faviorite of the three segments. I love the raven and will gush about it later, but this was a very nice suprise, having a more rapid fire pace from the seasons to come compared to the rest of season 2 or even it's fellow segments.

This wasn't a huge shock when I found out who wrote it: John Swartzwelder, a singularly weird simpsons writer who smokes and who did all his writing in a diner booth and continued to even after smoking bands by purchasing one, who tends to shy away from the public, to the point they called him on a commentary track just to prove that yes, he exists.

Swartzwelder has written 59 episodes with heighlights including Bart the General, Two Cars in Every Garage and Three Eyes on Every Fish, Homer at the Bat, Whacking Day, Krusty Gets Kanclled, Homer the Vigilante, Itchy and Scratchyland, Homer the Great, Homer's Enemy, Attack of the 50 Foot Eyesores, Homer Vs the Eighteenth Amendment, and Homer's enemy among many others. While he did loose a bit of his sheen as he went on, it can't be denied his peak stuff is some of the series best and this is no exception.

The premise is simple: the simpsons take on the amityville horror, the film based on the book that used a real tragedy to make money. The Simpsons move into a spooky house, nearly murder each other and escape alive. Which isn't a guarantee with Treehouse of Horror NOW but seemed to be a requirement early on as the simpsons don't impliclity die till Treehouse of Horror V and don't die on screne till Treenhouse of Horror X.

It's mainly an excuse to just pack the things with joke after joke, all hitting: the moving man, played by james earl jones mutters under his breath he's glad the house will kill them. There's a random vortex in the kitchen that theyt hrow an orange into.. that throws back a piece of paper asking them to stop throwing garbage in that dimension. The walls bleeding barely bothers marge and Bart getting choked by a lamp has Homer asking how he'll explain his way out. It's just joke after great joke, with Harry Shearer doing a great job as the house which frequently bellows GET OUT. My second faviorite joke of this segment is when Marge decides indeed to get out, and the house puts the kids coats on them for them. Just a simple hilarous gag. I also like homer being bounced into the celing and trying to act like it's fine.

He does get them to stay overnight which leads to the creepiest part of the specail as a whole and a great bit of horror: the house convinces the rest of the family minus marge to kill each other. The expressions here are truly disturbing, and i'ts unsettling to see the simpsons all in a trance ready to murder each other.

Thankfully the humor right after not only deflates it, but is great: Marge is seen grabbing a knife like the rest of her family.. but is making a sandwitch, easily lectures them out of it then plans to leave spouting the awesome quote I choose to use as the image. I'ts just such a marge thing to brush off something this horrid like it's some new conflict in the family.

The simpsons soon find the old racist trope of the house being built on a native burial ground.. which is a thorny concepts for sure, but this is an old enough episode to get away with it and I like homer angrily calling his realtor only to find out the guy mentioned it 5 or 6 times. The house tries to give a meancing speech.. only for marge to angrily tell it off, a bit I love, from Julie Kavner's delivery to how it works. She demands it either leave them alone or live with them in peace.... it chooses to collapse on itself after shooing them outside instead. Aw well can'jt please everyone. Just several minutes of great jokes with some great horror sprinkled in.

Not a fan of this one. It IS better than I remembered as it packs in some good jokes. That's courtsey of writers Jay Kogan and Wally Woodarsky, who while having a slow start, finished their run on the show with classics Bart's Friend Falls in Love, Treehouse of Horror III and Last Exit to Sprinfield

The premise is a riff on the Twilight Zone Classic , To Serve Man. For those of you who don't know what the Twilight Zone is, you just made me feel very old, but it was a classic Science Fiction anthology series, running the gamut of genres and often falling into horror. The simpsons would go to the twilight zone a LOT for Treehouse of Horror: They'd riff on at least one episode a year for the first four treehouses and would still return to the well on occasions. The simpsons has parodied A Good Life (Bart's Nightmare), Living Doll (Clown Without Pity), Nightmare at 20,000 Feet (Terror at 5 1/2 Feet) , Little Girl Lost (Homer^3), and finally A Kind of Stopwatch (Stop the World I Want to Goof Off). As the show went on they drifted into parodying horror films more as Twilgiht Zone faded, but I miss it and hope they do one again some day or as a special since their now doing Treehouse of Horror Presents.

At any rate it's a pretty basic parody: Kang and Kodos in their first apperance kidnap the simpsons along with Sorak the Preparer, played by JEJ, and have them eat a lot, making vauge hints they'll eat the simpsons and droolling a lot. There's a gag or two I love: the ufo they abduct the simpsons in having to put out an extra beam to pick up homer, tilting to the side otherwise, the aliens admitting to having thousands of channels except hbo "That costs extra", and the aliens defensifiness when how primitive pong is is brought upop "Raise your hand if your capable of intergalactic travel". I love bart sticking up his hand and homer slapping it down. Good stuff.

Most of it though.. is eh. The twist is that. .they aren't trying ot eat them and are hurt Lisa assumes it with the book being how to cook FOR humans. Then how to cook FORTY humans, then how to cook for FORTY humans. I love Sorek's hurt feelings and what not, but it's a pretty bland parody compared to Bad Dream House, which nailed it. It feels like a bland middle to two pretty dope piece sof bread. It has some good jokes nad gave us Kang and Kodos, so it's not without merit, but it's easily the weakest segment in an otherwise good episode.

For our finale Lisa reads Edgar Allen Poe's classic Poem the Raven. In the second best refrence to it the shows ever done

It's the breakout of the segments and while I prefer Bad Dream House and stand by that, The Raven is very close and a very creative flex. Matt Groening was nervous it'd come off too pretentious, but instead we get a great break from formula. The first two segments, while fun breaks from teh simpsons mostly grounded reality, at this point anyway, do feel lik ea standard episode that just happens to be about a murder house. The Raven.. is something entirley diffrent.

It's a mostly straight adaptation of the poem: James Earl Jones does an impressive and haunting reading of Poe's narrations, while Dan Castlenatea does an awesome job as homer, injecting some humor into it but reading moments like the main character lashing out at the raven and his sorrow with such convection. While we'd see plenty of range from homer as the show went on, this was an early indicatior of just what dan was capable of with the character.

The show also nicely breaks tension in places: Homer is literally reading a book of forgotten lore, Bart chimes in with his commentary, and there's some good physical gags. But the heart of it, a tale of greving, loss and ultimate death, as the narrator gets haunted by a raven (Played by bart naturally, with Lenore played in a painting by marge (with the nice gag of her hair extending into another painting and Lisa and Maggie playing Serapphim), i'ts a wonderful segment that is hilarous.. yet also heartwrenching and haunting. I haven't read the poem, but this segment makes me feel it, a haunting wonderful piece. James Earl Jones kills it with the utmost conviction in his reading, upping the intsnesity was we go and really getting into it. He did a marvelous job and apparently went the extra mile for his performance in the second segment by eating a cookie while recording to get the drool right. What a man

So we end the specail with the kids fine but homer scared and Marge refusin gto help him because.. I dunno she's a dick tonight. A great end to a fantastic start to a wonderful tradition. Thanks for reading.. and james wherever you are up there... thank you.

[rolkstone]

Mr. Burns' PR guy in "Two Cars in Every Garage and Three Eyes on Every Fish"

[hehdhidnd]

1:1

[no intro, Christmas special]

1:2

I will not waste chalk

Homer fell off

1:3

I will not skateboard in the halls

1:4

I will not burp in class

1:5

[no intro]

1:6

I will not instigate revolution

1:7

I will not draw naked ladies in class

They all fit on the couch

1:8 The Telltale Head

I did not see Elvis

Bart flew up

1:9 Life in the Fast Lane

No intro

1:10 Homer’s Night Out

I will not call my teacher “hot cakes”

The couch fell apart

1:11 Crepes of Wrath

Garlic gum is not funny

Homer fell off

1:12 Crusty Gets Busted

They are laughing at me, not with me

Maggie flew up

1:13 Some Enchanting Evening

I will not yell “fire” in a crowded classroom

They all fit

-————————————————————————-

2:1 Bart Gets an “F”

I will not encourage others to fly

He did it again in the ep, I will not fake my way through life

They all fit then the couch fell through the floor

2:2 Simpson and Delilah

Tar is not a plaything

They did a little dance before all fitting

2:3 Treehouse of Horror

No intro

2:4 Two Cars in Every Garage and Three Eyes on Every Fish

I will not xerox my butt

They all fit and then it turn into a couchbed

2:5 Dancin’ Homer

I will not trade pants with others

Maggie pops out of Marge’s hair

2:6 Dead Putting Society

I am not a 32 year old woman

Everyone fit including Santa’s Little Helper and Snowball 2

2:7 Bart vs Thanksgiving

I will not do that thing with my tongue

Grampa was taking a nap on the couch

2:8 Bart the Daredevil

I will not drive the principle’s car

The couch tips over in Homer’s side and Maggie lands on a cushion on the floor

2:9 Itchy & Scratchy & Marge

I will not pledge allegiance to Bart

There was no couch, they all looked for it

2:10 Bart Gets Hit by a Car

I will not sell school property

Everyone landed on the floor except Homer

2:11 One Fish, Two Fish, Blowfish, Blue Fish

I will not cut corners

The couch fell over backwards

2:12 The Way We Was

I will not get very far with this attitude

They all fit then the couch fell through the floor

2:13 Homer vs Lisa and the 8th commandment

I will not make flatulent noises in class

They did a little dance before all fitting [2]

2:14 Principle Charming

I will not belch the national anthem

The all fit and then it turned into a couch bed [2]

2:15 Oh Brother, Where Art Thou

I will not sell land in Florida

Maggie popped out of Marge’s hair [2]

2:16 Bart’s Dog Gets an “F”

I will not sell school property [2]

Everyone fit including Santa’s Little Helper and Snowball 2 [2]

2:17 Old Money

I will not grease the monkey bars

Grampa was taking a nap on the couch [2]

2:18 Brush with Greatness

I will not hide behind the fifth amendment

The couch tips over in Homer’s side and Maggie lands on a cushion on the floor [2]

2:19 Lisa’s Substitue

[shortened intro]

There was no couch [2]

2:20

[bussterj]

I'm watching The Simpsons 2x04 "Two Cars in Every Garage and Three Eyes on Every Fish"

[flyinghellfish]

[misterspectacular]

Both are these moments are from "Two Cars in Every Garage and Three Eyes on Every Fish" and it seemed important

vs

[filmjunky-99]

t h e s i m p s o n s, 1989 - 📺 created by matt groening [two cars in every garage and three eyes on every fish, s2ep4]

'It will all be over soon.' - marge

'But we've become the tools of evil.' - lisa

'You're learning lessons tonight and one of them is to give your mother the benefit of the doubt.' - marge

[dorothydalmati1]

The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 4: Two Cars in Every Garage and Three Eyes on Every Fish

Written by Sam Simon & John Swartzwelder

Storyboard by Steven Dean Moore

Directed by Wes Archer

Directing assistance by Carlos Baeza & Alan Smart

[kahran042]

My list of crapisodes

First of all, know that these are all my opinion. Ones marked with asterisks are ones I haven't seen, but to paraphrase Huey Freeman, you don't have to see a lynching to know that they aren't funny.

AMERICAN DAD!

Big Trouble in Little Langley

Gorillas in the Mist

Minstrel Krampus

Tapped Out

ARCHER

White Elephant

A Kiss While Dying

A Debt of Honor

House Call

Southbound and Down

Baby Shower

Smugglers' Blues

The Rules of Extraction

On The Carpet

Palace Intrigue: Part I

Palace Intrigue: Part II

Filibuster

Arrival/Departure

ARTHUR

Francine and the Feline

Arthur's Big Hit

Sue Ellen Chickens Out

The Secret Origin of Supernova

The Agent of Change

BATMAN BEYOND

Splicers

BOB'S BURGERS

Boywatch

Amelia

FAMILY GUY

Wild Wild West

Family Cat

FOSTER'S HOME FOR IMAGINARY FRIENDS

The Little Peas

FUTURAMA

Amazon Women in the Mood

KING OF THE HILL

Plastic White Female

Husky Bobby

Junkie Business

*Three Coaches and a Bobby

Bills Are Made to Be Broken

Movin' On Up

What Makes Bobby Run?

'Twas the Nut Before Christmas

Bobby Goes Nuts

Joust Like a Woman

Get Your Freak Off

Full Metal Dust Jacket

The Witches of East Arlen

Reborn to Be Wild

That's What She Said

Hank's Back

*The Petriot Act

Redcorn Gambles with His Future

Harlottown

Business Is Picking Up

Hank's Bully

*serPUNt

Lady and Gentrification

Lost in MySpace

Bad News Bill

*Uh-oh, Canada

*The Boy Can't Help It

MY-HIME

Mischief of the Wind

OURAN HIGH SCHOOL HOST CLUB

A Challenge from Lobelia Girls' Academy!

RECESS

Kindergarten Derby

ROZEN MAIDEN

The Stairway

SOUTH PARK

Chinpokomon

Timmy 2000

Red Hot Catholic Love

Raisins

Stupid Spoiled Whore Video Playset

Mr. Garrison's Fancy New Vagina

Cartoon Wars Part I

*Cartoon Wars Part II

Tsst

*Go God Go

*Go God Go XII

The Ungroundable

City Sushi

*Ass Burgers

*The Poor Kid

Cash for Gold

Raising the Bar

You're Not Yelping

Member Berries

Skank Hunt

*The Damned

*Wieners Out

*Douche and a Danish

*Fort Collins

*Oh, Jeez

*Members Only

*Not Funny

*The End of Serialization as We Know It

*Help, My Teenager Hates Me!

STAR OCEAN EX

Stampede

THE CLEVELAND SHOW

Cleveland Jr.'s Cherry Bomb

Wide World of Cleveland Show

Pins, Spins and Fins…

THE FAIRLY ODDPARENTS

The Boy Who Would Be Queen

Twistory

THE SIMPSONS

Two Cars in Every Garage, Three Eyes on Every Fish

Homer vs. Lisa and the 8th Commandment

Homer the Heretic

Lisa the Vegetarian

Lisa the Iconoclast

My Sister, My Sitter

Homer vs. the Eighteenth Amendment

The Cartridge Family

Lisa the Skeptic

Miracle on Evergreen Terrace

Lisa, the Simpson

Lisa Gets An “A”

Wild Barts Can’t Be Broken

They Saved Lisa’s Brain

Treehouse of Horror X

E-I-E-I-(Annoyed Grunt)

Eight Misbehavin’

Little Big Mom

Missionary: Impossible

Kill the Alligator and Run

Behind the Laughter

Lisa the Tree Hugger

The Computer Wore Menace Shoes

She of Little Faith

Sweets and Sour Marge

Pray Anything

A Star is Born-Again

‘Scuse Me While I Miss the Sky

Marge vs. Singles, Seniors, Childless Couples and Teens, and Gays

Margical History Tour

Smart and Smarter

Catch ‘Em If You Can

Bart-Mangled Banner

On A Clear Day I Can't See My Sister

Girls Just Want To Have Sums

*Jazzy and the Pussycats

*The Great Wife Hope

The Day the Earth Stood Cool

Homerland

Opposites A-Frack

Peeping Mom

*The Tipping Point

TINY TOON ADVENTURES

Mr. Popular's Rules of Cool

Going Places

*Elephant Issues

YES! PRECURE 5

Komachi Quits Being A Novelist!?

Coco's Big Healthy Plan!

BTW, if you're wondering why there are so many Simpsons episodes, it's because this list was originally just a list of Simpsons episodes I hated. And if you're wondering why fellow long-runner Family Guy has so few, it's because I cut it some slack for a long time due to it being the internet reviewing community's whipping boy.

"Splicers" is kind of a special case. I don't really remember most Batman Beyond episodes, but I remember finding most of the series decent, with the exception of that one episode.

[allieinarden]

Bart the Genius

The Call of the Simpsons

Krusty Gets Busted

Two Cars in Every Garage and Three Eyes on Every Fish

Bart Gets an F

Bart the Daredevil

Brush With Greatness

Lisa’s Substitute

Homer Defined

Burns Verkaufen der Kraftwerk

Homer the Heretic

Whacking Day

Cape Feare (duh)

The Last Temptation of Homer

Homer Loves Flanders

Burns’ Heir

Sweet Seymour Skinner’s Baadasssss Song

Lisa on Ice

Grampa vs. Sexual Inadequacy

Lemon of Troy

Bart Sells His Soul

Home Sweet Homediddly-Dum-Doodily

Lisa the Vegetarian

Grade School Confidential

This Little Wiggy

Half-Decent Proposal

Trilogy of Error

My Mother the Carjacker

The Fat and the Furriest

Simple Simpson

Fraudcast News

Fat Man and Little Boy

The Father, the Son and the Holy Guest Star

We’re On the Road to D’ohwhere

The Seemingly Never-Ending Story

24 Minutes

Funeral For a Fiend

The Debarted

Sex, Pies and Idiot Scrapes

Treehouse of Horror XX

The Book Job

I Won’t Be Home for Christmas

The Town

There Will Be Buds

22 for 30

Wad Goals

Treehouse of Horror XXXIII

Bartless

With the disclaimer that the flashback tetralogy of The Way We Was/I Married Marge/Lisa’s First Word/And Maggie Makes Three are obviously in a whole special class of their own.

Send me favorite Simpsons episodes? There's too many.