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sunflowerwinds · 9 days

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realizations | e.w

summary: the campfire causes a tension between you and abby. aquarium day causes you to be honest with how you feel about either girls.

pairing: ellie williams x fem!reader

word count: 3.7K

contains: mature language, joel supremacy, ellie being the cutest there is, reader again being so indecisive (last time i swear), more inaccurate portrayals of camps but this is MY story :)

a/n: school has been kicking my ass already. i cranked this out for you lovelies <3 i hope all of you enjoy!!!

under the summer starts masterlist

Approaching the circle of kids around the campfire, Jesse was hovering over a few kids to make sure they were a reasonable distance from the flames, Steve and Robin were messily hounding down an extra-large s’more concoction, Abby carefully helping a few kids with the placement of their marshmallows, Ellie strumming away at her guitar singing ‘Black Bird’ and Dina softly humming along with some of her kids was a sight to behold. You even spotted a bunch of the campers with smears of chocolate and melted marshmallows on their cheeks and chins.

You had told Joel that you were going to be taking a ‘nap’ so that he could watch over your kids for a bit. In reality, you had just wanted some secluded alone time with your phone; texting your anxious dads that you were in fact not dead. You had a comfortable thin sweater over your tank top, the neckline slightly hanging off of your shoulder. You made eye contact with a soft singing Ellie and her lips stretched into a small smile.

You couldn’t believe that you were even considering yearning for Ellie for another summer or letting yourself find comfort in Abby.

What snapped you out of it was Abby, waving you over to the space next to her on the log. You send her a small smile at the tall blonde, making your way over. Your tennis shoes crunch under the twigs and fallen leaves as you clasp your hands behind your back.

“Wow, you kept your promise.” You tease as you seat yourself next to her.

Abby chuckled and shrugged her shoulders. “I’m very trustworthy.”

“Well, now I know. I’m still holding you for helping me prank Ellie later.” You point a finger at her accusingly.

Abby held one of her fingers in front of her mouth as she glanced around at the campers.

“Don’t mention the ‘p’ word. We don’t want to have another ‘bubbles’ incident.” Abby lightly chuckled.

You wince as you know she was right. As far as you could tell, the campers weren’t even close to thinking about pulling a prank. Well, not close to pulling a prank on you which you could live with. If it was any of the boys, you could definitely live with that.

“Can I ask you something?” Abby whispers.

You try to ignore Ellie’s singing to tune into what Abby is about to say.

“Yeah, what’s up?” You grin kindly.

“I don’t want to make assumptions or read into anything but,” Abby sucked in a deep breath, scratching at the back of her neck. “Is there… anything at all going on between you and Ellie?”

You froze your itching at your sleeve, every muscle in your body becoming tighter.

“Not that I know of,” you joke, trying to recover from how tense you got.

Abby weakly chuckled. “Right, yeah. I don’t know. I just assumed if you guys really aren’t, can I take you somewhere when the kids leave for the weekend to get more clothes? You don’t have to but I don’t know. I feel like you’ve been… hitting on me?”

Was she really doing this right now? You don’t deny the flirting but why didn’t she ask you once you two were alone?

“Can I think about it?” You respond quickly.

Abby noticeably falters at your unsure response but attempts to her disappointment. You swore you saw a slight twitch in her eyebrow.

“Yeah, of course.”

Before you could formulate an apology, Ellie finished up Black Bird and looked around with a sheepish grin as everyone clapped and cheered. Robin and you snapped your fingers as if you were at a poetry slam, cheeky grins on your faces.

“Sing ‘Time In A Bottle’” Dina suggests, glancing over at you.

You agree as that song is so beautiful to you. Dina knew this as did everyone you ever had the opportunity to speak to. Ellie’s eyes, too, pointed at you. She shakes her head playfully as she clears her throat, adjusting the guitar strings a bit.

“Okay everybody, this is the last song of the night then it’s straight to bed.” Joel walked around the large circle, making sure every child heard his words.

There were a few whines of ‘no’ and ‘just a few more songs’ but the stubborn man put his foot down. Ellie told them all that she was going to be playing again in two nights so she’ll play more songs then. They all seemed to agree for the most part. You clasped your hands together, leaning forward on your elbows and resting them on your upper thighs. The nails of your thumbs brushed past your bottom lip as you listened to the soft strum of the acoustic.

Every lyric settled into your chest as Ellie repeatedly made sure your attention was on her. Her eyes were focused on you, only leaving yours for a few seconds at a time through the duration of the gentle song. It was clear that the tune had romantic undertones which had you more than overwhelmed at her intense eye contact. It didn’t help that Abby’s larger shoulder was pressing into your own, the contact not helping with your nerves.

Were they aware that there were kids around?

The night ended with a final strum of her guitar, blinking out of the trance her voice put you in. Everyone clapped and attempted for the second time to convince Joel to let them stay up a bit longer but he wouldn’t budge.

“No, no more whining ev’rybody. Time to hit the hay,” Joel shook his head and motioned for all the campers to stand up.

With shuffles of tennis shoes on the grass and dirt, you, too, stood up on your feet, wiping your sweaty palms on your shorts. You made your way over to Ellie carefully adjusting the strings of the guitar. She glanced up at you for a second, smiling small. You had missed Abby’s longing gaze before following her campers back to their cabin, too distracted by the auburn-haired girl to notice the blonde.

“Hey, did you like the song?” Ellie questioned knowingly.

“Eh, a little pitchy at some parts,” you jokingly critique.

“I never said I was a professional singer,” Ellie was quick to snap back, clearing her throat. “You, uh, excited for tomorrow?”

You nod as you had already forgotten that tomorrow the camp was going on a tour of an aquarium that was about an hour away from camp. You were a bit of a fanatic of the butterfly exhibit and Ellie knew this. She got a photo of you on the Polaroid every year beaming at the fluttering insects.

“I am, yeah.”

You knew you were beaming after your response, clasping your hands behind your back and practically bouncing on the soles of your feet.

“It’s very… fitting, you know?” Ellie added with a small grin on her face.

You furrow your brows at her words.

“What is?” You question.

“You loving the aquarium. It’s very princess-like of you,” Ellie added but she avoided your gaze, feeling ashamed to admit that.

“Wow. Princess-like?” You sarcastically quipped before Ellie started letting out a string of ‘neverminds’.

“Forget I even said anything,” Ellie rushed out, standing up from the log to grab the pail of water that the camp used to put out the fire.

You reached for her arm as she carefully poured the lake water over the logs, dampening them and watching the fire die down slowly. Now only a porch light from a cabin and the beautiful moon lit up your faces. Your fingers lightly grip onto her wrist to tug her towards you.

“I thought it was sweet.” You say seriously, hoping she wouldn’t refrain from cute compliments anymore.

Not to sound like a conceited bitch but you soared through the sky when you got compliments, especially from Ellie.

“Well, I can’t help the truth,” Ellie slyly states.

You pressed your lips into a thin line, watching Ellie kick up the dirt from underneath the grass. Ellie could be cocky, a little irritating but when she got like this, it made you feel like maybe your crush on her is reciprocated.

“You want to partner up tomorrow?” You offer, releasing her wrist and fiddling with your sleeves.

Ellie, finally, turned her neck to look you in your eyes, eyebrows shooting up. Joel usually randomly chose partners but you were going to ask him right after this if he could make an exception just this once.

“Yeah. I’d like that,” her smile widened ever so slightly, one of her hands grasping onto the strap of the guitar.

“Okay, cool,” you let out a smitten chuckle, rocking on your heels.

A couple of crickets chirped in the unseen of the grass, causing you to snap out of your weird behavior.

“I gotta go and put the guitar up in the arts cabin but I’ll see you first thing tomorrow, okay?” Ellie double-checked with you, grinning adorably.

“Bright and early, Els,” you confirmed.

Ellie gave you one last nod before trudging in the distance to the cabin. You let out a breath before practically sprinting off to the complete opposite side of the camp to the main office where Joel usually would be at this time of night, prepping for the next day. You run up the wooden steps to the front door, raising your fist to knock on the screen door.

You hear a muffled ‘come in’, pulling the screen the door open to open the beaten down wooden door. There Joel was sitting at a desk with a pair of thin glasses sitting on the bridge of his strong nose as he scribbled on sheets of paper. He looked up over the rim of the glasses, waiting for you to say something.

“Hi. I’m sorry to bother you right now but I have a question,” you cleared your throat, scratching at your arm.

“Is somethin’ wrong?” He questioned, setting his pencil down.

“No, um, everything is perfectly okay. I just have a favor to ask,” you awkwardly chuckled.

“Okay…” Joel sounded hesitant but urged you to just spit it out.

“If it's not too much trouble, could Ellie and I be paired up tomorrow for the aquarium?” You could feel your face heating up at how middle school this all felt.

Joel raised a brow at you before he picked his pencil back up and pointed the eraser end at where you were standing from across the table.

“Are you and Ellie datin’?”

Your eyes bugged out of your head before you shook your head slowly. What the hell?

“Really?” He pressed once more, seeming to not believe you.

“Yes, really,” you emphasized. Joel just stares at you without moving as you continue your explanation. “We just wanted to partner up and I was hoping you could make an exception. Do we seem like we’re together?”

At this point, Joel had his rough hands up in the air at your reaction to his question. You were, in your defense, becoming very defensive over the initial question.

“Alright, alright. I was just confused is all,” Joel shook his head.

“I just want to make it clear,” you add on before shutting your mouth.

“I know. I’ll… pair your groups up. No goofing around though.”

You nod to assure him even though you knew you and Ellie would be attached to the hip. You quietly thank him before leaving the cabin with one last ‘goodnight’ to Joel.

Hopping off of the suffocatingly humid bus, you took in the entrance of the aquarium with jittery excitement in your veins. You waited by the side of the bus for each of your campers to step down, holding a hand out for those who needed the support.

Once all of your friends and their campers got off the other buses, you had to round up your and Ellie’s group to get all of the all-day tour bracelets. It isn’t as packed as it was last summer but there was still a decent amount of families there to enjoy the experience of the aquatic life.

You wave sadly across the way to Robin and Steve who, to no surprise at all, were partnered up. Steve pretended to cry without your presence and you simply mouthed ‘dramatic’ before they disappeared into a different entrance to the aquarium.

“Okay everyone,” Ellie raised her voice. as she spoke to your mixed group of campers. “A few rules before we go in. One; please do not wander on your own. Two; if you need to use the bathroom, let either of us know and one of us will go with you to make sure you don’t get lost. Three; with the few cameras we were given, do not have the flash on because the animals are sensitive to them and we don’t want to hurt them, right?”

A string of ‘no Miss Ellie’ rang in the air which caused you to bite back a smile. Seeing her be such a natural leader made her weirdly more attractive to you.

“I didn’t think so. Let’s go inside everyone. Single file.”

Ellie’s own satisfied smile spread onto her face as she clapped her hands together before motioning everyone to follow the two of you. You nudged her with your shoulder with a small smile before standing back to walk behind the group to make sure no one wandered off.

As much as you wanted to be paired up, you sort of forgot how much time you weren’t going to spend with each other. It constantly left your mind that you were at a summer camp for children; not someplace to find a girlfriend.

It was interesting regardless of all of the facts about a variety of sea creatures. You felt like an impatient child wanting to get to the tour, fiddling with your camera. You watched as the kids all took turns using the camera to take photos of the stingrays before they fed them.

The excited gasps and squeals of the children made your heart grow tenfold as they dropped the food into the mouths of the stingrays.

“Guys, be careful, okay? Don’t put your hands all the way in, please.” You hurry out, anxiety flooding through your veins at how slightly careless they were being.

You didn’t want to have an incident like last summer when embarrassingly enough, you allowed a small boy to leave your eyeliner and he fell directly into the small pool. Thankfully, he wasn’t injured but his mother was not happy to hear this. You got screamed at by an angry mother when she was told by Joel about the accident. Of course, you took the blame but Steve had been your partner at the time and took the fall for you.

“Can I eat this?” A little girl with big hazel eyes asked you as she held up the stingray's food to you.

“Uh, no, sweetheart. That’s for the stingrays. It wouldn’t be tasty.” You shake your head.

The girl's smile falters as she glances at the food in her hand and then back up at you. She looked uneasy. It didn’t take long before it clicked in your head that she already had eaten a bit of it. You let out a soft sigh, bending down to her height.

“You already ate some, didn’t you?”

Ashamed, she slowly nods her head and avoids your gaze. You weren’t sure what would happen to her but you were assuming and hoping her body would reject it or she would just poop it out.

“Well, if you feel like you’re going to throw up or need to use the bathroom, let me or Miss Ellie know, okay?” You whisper to her, rubbing her back to ease her.

She nods one more time before walking back to the feeding area, giving the rest of the food to the awaiting animals. Ellie makes her way over to you, folding her arms and motioning to the sweet child.

“What happened?”

“She, uh, ate some of the stingray’s food.” You wince at your words.

Ellie’s eyebrows shoot up as she turns her head to stare at you with disbelief. She raises her palm over her mouth to hide her cheeky grin. You roll your eyes as you nudge her shoulder, quietly telling her to ‘shut up’. It had taken everything in you to not laugh initially when the poor girl had told you.

“You better hope we don’t have another insane mom on our hands when she finds out about this,” she teases with a soft grin.

“If you care about me, you’ll take the fall for me like Steve did last year,” you shrug your shoulders, keeping a good eye on the group.

There was a moment of silence that made you turn to Ellie. Her eyes were wide with admiration but she avoided your gaze like the plague when she realized that you were staring right back at her. A blooming fire rose to her pale freckled cheeks as she scratched behind her ear.

“I definitely care about you more than Steve does,” Ellie muttered angrily which caused you to giggle at her, leaning your head on her shoulder.

You were a fool not to notice her immediately tensing when you did so, side-eyeing the slope of your nose and the length of your lashes. Everything in you wanted to stand here forever, listening to the pattern of Ellie’s breathing.

“Is someone jealous?” You playfully tease.

Ellie scoffed before she confidently stated: “Yeah, I’m jealous of a guy who runs around in 3-inch inseam shorts and crop tops.”

“Hey, he’s bringing the 80’s fashion back and flawlessly.” You defend your friend.

Ellie paused for a moment before nodding slowly in agreement. As much as you did love Steve and who he is, you couldn’t even imagine being with him. Maybe if you were to get married when you both turned 40 and neither of you were with anyone but you were 99% sure he and Robin had already solidified that pact.

You could only imagine being with the freckled girl whose shoulder you're resting on. You have imagined it for the past three years. Quite vividly, you might add.

“C’mon. It’s time to move on to the smaller fishes,” Ellie leaned her head to yours, the skin of her cheek pressing up against your temple.

You hold back a disappointed sigh and lift your head from her clothed shoulder. After calling after the children one by one, name after name, everyone walked through a tunnel that was illuminated by a soft blue hue between the crevices of the dark walkway. The cylinder cases of fishes swimming freely amongst the probably fake coral and rocks.

You hear a few gasps as someone points out a clownfish and blue tang swimming amongst one another.

“It’s Marlin, Nemo, and Dory!” Beth exclaimed with a bright smile, pointing at the fish swimming above.

“They aren’t real. It’s from a movie,” Carter snarks, folding his pale arms across his chest.

Vanessa practically snapped her neck to give Carter a dirty look. “Umm, I see them right there.”

You pursed my lips to push back the laughter that was threatening to come out. Girlhood at its finest.

You, too, watched as they swam circles around one another, channeling their excitement for the fish. It didn’t take long before you heard a shutter come from next to you.

You side-eye the freckled girl and immediately tell her ‘no’.

“‘No’ what?” She questions as she is very openly holding up the film camera to you.

You hold back your eye roll before raising your brows at her: “‘No’ means ‘no photos’, Els.”

“But you look pretty,” was her only response back as she snapped another of you appearing rather smiley.

Who were you to blame for your cheeks hurting from the terrifying grin on your face? The girl you swore up and down that you were getting over.

“Just make sure you get my good side,” you give in embarrasingly easy.

“All of your sides are good. You’re the most annoyingly photogenic person I know,” Ellie teases, sounding pissed off but you knew the intent behind her words.

“It is really hard being perfect,” you sigh playfully.

“Yeah, yeah,” Ellie shook her head but didn’t stop with the photo-taking.

While you were having photos being taken non-stop, you thought about how exhilarating having Ellie praise you this way shamelessly. You also believed this was exactly why everyone thought the two of you were dating.

“Alright, enough. Your turn,” you reach for the camera but Ellie pulls back.

“Fuck no,” Ellie says quickly but covered her mouth to look at the children who were staring at the fish in awe.

“Fuck yes,” you repeat.

After a small struggle, you were able to pry the camera from Ellie’s hands to point the lens right at her blue-lit face. She immediately began to put her palms over the camera, pleading for you to not take the photos.

You couldn’t even understand why Ellie hated photos when she, too, was insanely photogenic.

“Let me take one. Please?” You aim the camera away from her face for a moment.

Ellie was clearly hesitant but the second she heard the ‘please’ come from your sweet lips, she knew she couldn’t say ‘no’ to you. She would do anything for that ‘please’.

“One.” She reaffirmed her statement, holding up her pointer finger.

“Just one. Maybe two,” you rushed out that last part of the sentence before aiming the lens at her.

Before Ellie could protest, you took a photo of the pretty freckled girl pointing at the fishes. Her jaw was tilted ever so slightly and her smile was small but she was a perfect vision. You needed this sight stamped permanently into your brain.

You knew you were telling Abby that you couldn’t go out with her. You were kidding yourself with Abby. She was more of a friend and you knew that now more than ever.

The only problem now was when the hell were you going to get the guts to tell her?

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