#UmmKhultum

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Are you?

Are you the one your spouse goes to when he or she is troubled? Are you the one your spouse confides in because he or she feels you are most trustworthy or that he or she knows that you are a source of tranquility for him or her?

It is quite sad and alarming even to know that a lot of Muslim marriages fail and end up in divorce due to many things - but one thing is for sure, however or whatever we went through to be in that marriage or situation - it was Allah's Qadr - and everything that happens in the life of a believer is nothing but a blessing - and sometimes we figure it out later in our lives.

However, this post is not meant to be an opinion on something, rather this is meant to remind those who are married or those who are about to get married or who are thinking of getting married or remarried again about how communication and being close to your spouse makes a big difference in your married lives. 

This is a story about a beautiful couple during the time of the Prophet ﷺ. A couple that both came from honored and blessed families. The man is from those who were giving the glad tidings of Paradise (10 promised Jannah) and whom the Prophet ﷺ himself has given the title "Talhatul Khair" (blessed from head to toe). The woman is from the family of Abu Bakr As Siddiq and was the sister of Aisha Radiyallahu Anha, the wife of the Prophet ﷺ.

Do you now have an idea who this couple are? Yes, it is Talha Ibn Ubaidullah and Umm Khultum Bint Abu Bakr Radiyallahu Anhum. 

As we read this short story about them, we have to remember that Umm Khultum was supervised, educated and even trained by Aisha Radiyallahu Anha regarding almost everything a Muslim woman must learn and know. 

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One night, Umm Khultum noticed that her husband, Talha, was quite worried and disturbed and was unable to properly sleep - tossing his body from left to right.

With this, Umm Khultum asked, "Dear, why are you so disturbed and worried? Have I hurt you with any mistake?"

Talha then replied, "By Allah! There is no such thing, You are an exemplary wife. I am just thinking that today I have earned 700,000 dirhams from my trading. What would Allah think about the man who has kept such a huge amount of money in his house. Hence, my night is sleepless. This money is the source of my disturbance. I am unable to decide what to do with it."

Umm Khultum then gave her opinion by saying, "This is not a problem. Right now go to sleep comfortably. Pack this money in bags as the day breaks and distribute it among the needy Ansaar and Muhajjareen."

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Subhan'Allah. What a beautiful story.

My dear sister in Islam, are you like Umm Khultum that whenever she would notice her husband disturbed - she would think of consoling him or ask him whether she has displeased him or so?

A lot of the women of this "new generation" may find that this way of thinking of Umm Khultum is oppressive thinking. Why should it be always her fault, right? (Hello to the feminists out there.) 

Nay, this only shows how the women of the Muslims are way different from other ordinary women. 

They know that pleasing their husband is pleasing Allah and by displeasing their husband is displeasing Allah - and this is something that no ordinary woman would readily be able to accept unless they have truly understood the rights their spouse have over them.

And how about you my brother in Islam, are you someone who when asked and consoled by your spouse would give out a nice reply and appreciate her thoughts regarding you? 

Sometimes, it takes a simple word of appreciation to make her day or put a smile on her face - believe me, a good word of appreciation goes a long way for your spouse. 

Just look at how the wordings of Talha were, he replied in a way that delivered his answer moreover delivered a message of love and care towards his spouse.

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We have to realize that for us to achieve such a relationship with our spouse - we have to communicate with them and do our parts. My sisters, do not be too demanding towards your spouse and my brothers, show more appreciation whenever you can towards your spouses. 

Don't be too influenced with these modern day concept of feminism - it will destroy your marriage for it can go out of hand rapidly. 

Also, look at how Umm Khultum answered and gave her opinion regarding the dilemma that Talha was having. There's no stain of wanting this world at all - and that shows you how focused they were towards achieving their ultimate goal of pleasing Allah and to be with Him in Paradise.

If you were put in such a situation, would you have the same answer as Umm Khultum? Ask yourself that and answer truthfully - you'll realize how we have come far away from women we should truly look upto. Astagfirullah.

My brothers and sisters in Islam, one thing that would really keep your relationship and marriage strong is none other than your relationship with Allah. Once your relationship with Allah is strong, every other relationship of yours for His Sake will be strong as well.

The more you move away from Allah, the more your relationship with your spouse will grow further from each other. 

So don't lose that relationship with Allah. Do not make your spouse your world - rather make your spouse a means to become even closer to Allah - because that is how it should be.

Be your spouse's bestfriend. 

- become that one person that would make him or her feel reassured and loved. Don't open doors for her or him to look for that "person" outside the boundaries of your marriage. Protect each other from the temptations of this world by being involved with each other and concealing what is private within your marriage - protect your marriage. 

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May Allah protect the marriages of all our Muslim brothers and sisters and keep them strong and bless every Muslim with offsprings that would becomes the coolness of their eyes.

Amin

Zohayma

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Story was taken from

[1] Siyar A'lamun Nubala | Az Zahbi 1/30

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