#Utivich

[eaglezzbear]

Poor Donny 😔

[stupidfuckingwindow]

[dnlbrl]

-Unfocused gaze

-Mic disconnected

-Attention distracted

His ass is NOT gaming

[tougotstrangeld]

[fridaycanbesadsometimes]

Random IB HCs LESGOOOOO

- the reasons "inglourious basterds" is spelt like that, is because Aldo's southern ass didn't learn actual grammar and just carved it into his rifle based on the mouthfeel. (#iconic)

[ "Yep. That'll sure do"

"Sir that spells out basterds, are you sure th-"

"Utivich, get off my ass, will ya?" ]

- Hans likes blue cheese, and has one-time-or-another tricked Dieter (who fucking hates cheese) into eating it at a random German dinner event (Hellstrom's reaction is priceless, in Landa's words)

- Shoshanna's favorite movie is either L'Age D'or or Hôtel du Nord. Both were practically the first movies she ever watched. Ada showed them, and she used said films to practice projecting.

- Hirschberg can make a killer omelette.

- Aldo brews his own moonshine, for both the basterds to enjoy, AND to use as sterilizer for wounds and bodily damages.

- Wicki knows how to yodel. Did it once during a game of truth or date the basterds played while setting camp. Had a drink or two too much and just belted it out. The others have jokingly teased him for it ever since

- Frederick should fucKING KILL HIMSE-

[phantomstatistician]

Fandom: Inglourious Basterds

Sample Size: 263 stories

Source: AO3

[averagewriter-inthedark]

How they react to you getting hurt 🥲 | IB headcanon

Link to my IB masterlist

Requested 📨 yes/no

Content warnings: injury, blood, war, profanity, light angst.

Being part of the Basterds & getting injured would look like:

Getting injured was not something you planned, but in war it is bound to happen eventually. It could happen when y’all were ambushed, on recon, or something simple as moving place to place.

Whether it be a small graze, a split lip, or a possible fatal wound the Basterds are losing their mind. It would be utter chaos in the tent with Wicki having to kick them all out, besides Alsdo, so he could work with a clear mind. If it was a small injury that could be fixed with some bandages and alcohol then he’d be like “you lot are so dramatic. Just calm down they’re going to be fine.” But if it was serious then the last thing the man needed was panic around him, “if you all can’t shut the fuck up then get out! I need to concentrate before they bleed out!” Wicki cared deeply for you and felt responsible. He’d be dammed if you died on his watch.

Aldo would remain calm but internally was on high alert. You were one if the best Basterds and quite literally the glue that kept them together. In a shitshow of a world you still managed to smile, brining a level of hope and optimism to the squad. Seeing you in pain pulled at his heartstrings. Best believe he would stop at nothing to avenge you if worst comes to worst.

Donny would be in the same boat as Aldo, but would be more visibly anxious and pacing back and forth until he got an update. Like Aldo he’d set the world on fire to avenge you if you died. Donny is the bastard who’d try to make you laugh when you’re recovering which would only make the pain worse. “Oh sorry, I forgot you’re hurting there.”

Hugo is scary. Bottom line he is not talking, he is barely moving. It would not be until he knew you’d be okay that he would visibly relax. If the person who hurt you was still breathing Hugo would be silently plotting. The bastard would be the type to sneak out of camp and track the person himself. God forbid you died because you were the one thing keeping him grounded (platonically) so if he lost you….well pray for those who come in his way.

The younger basterds are losing their minds. Scared shirtless the only thing their minds go to is the worst. Smitty is holding back tears, Omar is biting his nails. They’d be camping outside the tent to hear what was going on and would fall on their asses when Aldo or Wicki were to suddenly come out. “Are they gonna be okay!?” They shout simultaneously, anxious at the sight of blood on Wicki. When the older man lit a cigarette and mumbled, “They’re gonna be fine. They just need to rest,” they all dropped to the floor in relief.

It would pain the basterds to have to send you home if the injury you sustained put you out of the line of duty. This wold be if you lost a limb or were in need of more medical attention than they could offer, such as losing your sight or part of your hearing. Aldo would be the one to escort you to allied territory to hand you over, the ride solemn and silent. “I’m sorry, boss,” you softly said., “I’m sorry I let you down.” “Kid, you’re alive. That’s all that matters and don’t you fuckin’ forget it. I’d rather be takin’ ya back breathin’ than in a casket.”

If your injury was not fatal and a quick fix, expect a small lecture from Aldo. He wouldn’t be upset with you per say, but just angry that it happened. Again, you are someone he cares about. All the Basterds do. So when shit like that happens it scares them and never did they wanna deal with having to bury someone they cared about. He would, however, scold you if the reason you got hurt was because you did something stupid or went against his orders. “L/n, I will warn you this one time. You pull that shit again and I’ll have your ass on the next truck back to base. Understood?”

At the end of the day the boys are just happy you’re okay. It was a close call but thankfully you survived and Wicki was the one with the brains to help you recover. They may have shit their pants and nearly went into cardiac arrest, but the basterds wouldn’t be losing their sunshine anytime soon.

[warpedhound]

Some more Inglourious Dogs!

Andy Kagan - Silken Windhound

Gerold Hirschberg - American Staffordshire Terrier

Omar Ulmer - American English Coonhound

Smithson Utivich - Chinook

Hugo Stiglitz - Hanover Hound

[ghostyundercover]

Willhelm Wicki fanfiction

Hi , i started writing a x reader insert story with Wilhelm Wicki and was wondering if any of you guys would be interest in reading it. It would be post on wattpad i think, please comment if you re interest in it

[stargiirl27]

Aldo and Utivich have a very father son relationship and I'm here for it

[eaglezzbear]

Why is utivich short??

[stupidfuckingwindow]

[dnlbrl]

What games do you think the Basterds and/or Landa, Dieter, & Freddy Z got more than 100+ hours on? 🤔 #RealGamerz

i don't know if people will let me cook again after i post this but oh boy here we go🔥

(brought to your attention that this is a silly post!!!)

•To be accurate and loyal to my silly posts, I'd start with Landa spending too many hours on Animal Crossing more than one normal human being should. He wouldn't just care if he got called out for it or not too. When he's away from his PC he'd go for his phone to play HayDay. (83 lvl Facebook logged account) (old man activities or whatever you call it)

•For Hellstrom, I've thought of him being a Counter Strike dude. Not CS2, but CS:GO. He'd probably quit after the game died in activity, with Indian guys filling up majority of the servers. He a %100 tried playing CS2 but was dissatisfied entirely. He's definitely played Halo as well as other games, liked it but didn't think much of it.

•As for Zoller, he would sometimes play mobile games and roblox but never admit that he did. He'd find himself playing Age of History (II) often. (Nobody would want to play anything with him, even if he's good company most of the time.)

P.S(1)hc: An absolute pro in PvZ and Larva Heroes (the goofy game where you fight bugs and stuff).

•For the Basterds, they would have a 12 user discord server where they'd discover the wildest and oddest of games then test them themselves, but mostly prefer ones that are multiplayer.

P.S(2)hc: throwing slurs at Neo-Nazis they find in G-Mod. (a part of the mmongus grind)

P.S(3)hc: always on the ammmongus grind

P.S(4)hc: years wasted on the ammmongus grind

•Hicox, Wicki and Stiglitz defo would have their own discord server just like the others. They'd spend some time on CoD but most of their time on TF2. All three of them main the spy class.

P.S(5): the three get involved in the ammmmongus grind at one point as well

I didn't get into detail of each character because i will surely be making posts about this in the near future, hopefully.

hope i could entertain🤍

[pedroam-bang]

Inglourious Basterds (2009)

[g3rmtonium]

Utivich:THERES A BOMB ON THE TRAIN.

Aldo: OBAMA’S ON THE TRAIN?

Donny: OBAMA’S ON THE TRAIN?

Utivich: NO! A BOMB!

Donny: Oh good, I fuckin’ hate Obama but I’m not racist or anythin’

Aldo: I am 🤠-

[scrublord27]

“That’s a Bingo!”

Redrew a scene from Inglorious Basterds (2009)