#Vancouver to Victoria without car

[thegirlinvictoria]

How to Get from Vancouver to Victoria Without a Car: Scenic Routes & Smart Tips for Travellers

Planning a visit to beautiful Victoria, BC, but don’t have access to a car? You’re not alone — and you’re not out of options. Whether you're a cruise ship visitor landing in downtown Vancouver, a local planning a weekend getaway, or a tourist exploring Vancouver Island, multiple car-free travel options are scenic, efficient, and budget-conscious.

As someone familiar with both cities, I’ve got the full scoop on traveling from Vancouver to Victoria without a car and making the most of your day once you arrive.

Why Travel Car-Free Between Vancouver and Victoria?

Bringing a car onto the ferry is costly, and navigating two busy city centres isn't everyone’s idea of a relaxing trip. Plus, with today’s innovative and seamless travel services, you can make the journey stress-free and even more enjoyable without a vehicle.

Top perks of going car-free:

Avoid the ferry vehicle lineup

Save money on transportation

Reduce emissions and travel lighter

Access downtown-to-downtown travel options

Enjoy sightseeing without worrying about parking

Now, look at the best Vancouver to Victoria transportation options without a car.

1. BC Ferries from Tsawwassen to Swartz Bay (Budget-Friendly & Scenic)

The BC Ferries route is a West Coast staple and a top pick for those who want to enjoy the stunning beauty of the Gulf Islands.

Departure Point: Tsawwassen Ferry Terminal (approx. 45-minute drive from downtown Vancouver) 

Total Travel Time: Approx. 3 hours door to door

Vancouver to Tsawwassen: ~1 hour

Ferry sailing: 1.5 hours

Swartz Bay to downtown Victoria: 30 minutes

Estimated Cost:

Ferry fare: $18–$22 per adult

Taxi or Uber from Vancouver to Tsawwassen: ~$75

Taxi from Swartz Bay to Victoria: ~$75

Why take this route:

Most affordable option

Iconic BC experience

Frequent sailings and open-deck viewing

Comfortable onboard amenities

Consider this:

The total travel time is longer.

Terminal transfers add extra steps.

It can get crowded in peak seasons.

Pro Tip: If you’re on foot, plan your ferry trip around public transport connections or use a rideshare to keep costs manageable.

2. Harbour Air Seaplane (Fastest and Most Scenic Route)

Looking for a quick, stylish, and jaw-dropping way to travel? The Harbour Air Seaplane service is hard to beat. You’ll soar over the coastline and land in Victoria’s Inner Harbour.

Departure Point: Vancouver Harbour, near the cruise terminal

Flight Duration: 35 minutes

Cost Range: $220–CAD 400 round trip

Why it’s worth it:

Fastest travel time available

Spectacular views from the sky

Downtown-to-downtown service

Saves hours in transport

Keep in mind:

Higher price point

Weather-sensitive

Limited luggage space

Pro Tip: Book well in advance during summer and cruise season — flights fill up fast!

3. Helijet Helicopter (Luxury Meets Convenience)

For those who want a VIP travel experience, Helijet offers executive-style helicopter service that blends speed, comfort, and reliability. It’s more weather-resilient than seaplanes and just as efficient.

Departure Point: Vancouver Harbour

Flight Time: Approx. 35 minutes

Cost Estimate: $400–CAD 500 round trip

Why it’s impressive:

Comfy, upscale seating

Generous baggage allowance

Smooth ride even in cloudy weather

Excellent for business or luxury travellers

Heads up:

It’s the priciest method

Fewer flight options per day

Motion-sensitive passengers might prefer other routes

Pro Tip: This is ideal if you’re booking a special getaway or arriving straight from an international flight and want the smoothest transition possible.

4. BC Ferries Connector Coach Bus (Hassle-Free and All-In-One)

Want to skip managing transfers entirely? The BC Ferries Connector bus is a convenient door-to-door solution combining the ferry and bus into one fare. It’s the best balance between cost and convenience if you're not in a rush.

Departure Point: Pacific Central Station, Vancouver

Total Travel Time: 4.5 hours (includes ferry)

Cost Range: $45–CAD 65 one way

Why you’ll love it:

One ticket for the whole journey

No need to navigate ferry terminals

Direct drop-off in downtown Victoria

Comfortable coaches with washrooms and A/C

Consider this:

Longer trip overall

Fewer daily departures

May sell out during tourist season

Pro Tip: Book early online and arrive 20–30 minutes before departure for a smooth boarding process.

Best Way to Tour Victoria Without a Car: Private Tours

Once you’ve arrived in Victoria without a car, choosing a guided private tour is the key to making the most of your time. Walking around downtown is lovely, but if you want to explore top sites like Butchart Gardens, Craigdarroch Castle, or Beacon Hill Park, a local guide with transport can help you cover more ground comfortably.

Booking a tour means you:

Get insider stories and local history

Maximize your sightseeing in a limited time

Avoid the hassle of public transit or ride-shares

See more beyond just downtown streets

Pro Tip: Look for customizable tours that let you choose what to see — perfect for cruise guests and day-trippers.

Final Thoughts

Getting from Vancouver to Victoria without a car is not only doable—it’s often the more enjoyable, stress-free way to travel. From seaplanes to ferries, helicopters to coach buses, there’s a solution to fit every budget, timeline, and travel style.

Once you arrive, Victoria’s charm is best experienced at a local pace, with or without a car. And with a private guide or small-group tour, you won’t miss a thing.

So pack light, travel smart, and enjoy the journey — because getting there is part of the adventure.

Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)

1. What is the cheapest way to get from Vancouver to Victoria without a car?

The most affordable option is taking the BC Ferries from Tsawwassen to Swartz Bay. You’ll need to arrange transport to and from the terminals, but it offers scenic views and great value for money.

2. Is there a direct connection from downtown Vancouver to downtown Victoria?

Yes. Services like Harbour Air Seaplane, Helijet, and the BC Ferries Connector coach offer direct, downtown-to-downtown service — no car required.

3. How long does traveling from Vancouver to Victoria without a car take?

Depending on your transportation choice, travel time ranges from 35 minutes by seaplane or helicopter to around 4.5 hours by coach and ferry.

4. Can I take public transit from Vancouver to the BC Ferries terminal?

Yes. TransLink provides bus service to Tsawwassen Terminal, although it adds time and involves transfers. Many travellers opt for a taxi or rideshare for convenience.

5. What’s the best way to explore Victoria without a car once I arrive?

Victoria is very walkable, especially around the downtown and harbour. For broader exploration, a private guided tour is the most efficient and enjoyable way to see the highlights.

[cactustreesmotel]

detail ur ideal inside passage trip

the inside passage is the route through the waterways of the bc/alaska coast between the islands and the mainland, especially vancouver island. it is my favourite thing right now and i have no idea why aside from the absurdity of trying to travel it without a car lmao. the route i'm turning over in my head right now goes from vancouver to prince rupert via the island for maximum fun 👍

(^ the route we're taking... join me.....)

anywhooo my ideal complicated and exhausting journey starts with a bus/train ride to the ferry terminal. that already takes 1hr30min and we're not even on the ferry to the island yet! good start. also it doesn't really matter if you're going to horseshoe bay or tsawwassen (and therefore to nanaimo or victoria on the other side) because both of those are far enough from our final destination on the island to cause problems and stress. yayy!!

this is our first ferry say hello to the coastal celebration everyone 👋

then after another 90 minutes on the ferry, you show up at the terminal and have to take yet another hour-long bus ride to downtown victoria to catch the next bus - unfortunately that bus only leaves at 7:30 in the morning and you've missed it by several hours at this point, probably. you're staying the night in victoria.

onto the second dayyy where you get up painfully early to wait around on a street corner for an islandlink bus to nanaimo... maybe it would have been easier to take another ferry... whatever. you get on. the first bus takes 2 hours. you're in nanaimo. you wait half an hour and then you take another islandlink bus. now you're in comox and it's another 2 hours later. rinse and repeat! you take another bus in campbell river and end up in our not-actual-final destination of port hardy at five in the afternoon. we're on the very northern end of the island now!! you have either been on a bus or waiting for a bus for ten hours!!!!! feeling good?

this has been our home for the last day. thx porthardyexpressbus.com 👍

anyway now you get to check into another hotel for another night on vancouver island, and we haven't even reached the actual inside passage part of the trip yet.

the next day you have to wake up absurdly early YET AGAIN because bc ferries, our main mode of transport for this trip, has decided that the only sailing is at 7:30 am. it gets better: foot passengers such as ourselves have to be at the terminal at minimum 90 minutes in advance of the sailing to get a ticket. that means vacating the hotel at least by 5 am. i love life :)

however, there begins the actual fun, because from there you get a full 19 hours of navigating the tight channels of bc's northern coastline on a ferry (probably the mv northern adventure) where you hopefully get your own cabin. and i REALLY want to see bc's northern coastline. i would be on deck the whole time, babey, you best believe. you might even see whales!

i would like to be here. i would like to be here very much.

then you land in prince rupert, and from there your options are many. you can continue on by car, assuming you somehow acquire one, and keep exploring the rest of northern bc and the yukon before swinging back down the mainland, or you can hunker down in the ferry terminal overnight and immediately start making the whole trip in reverse starting at a bright, at this point not even that early, 7:30 in the morning.

[starlitesoapboys]

Anne Doreen CROMACK

April 15, 1937 – March 4, 2025

Anne, lovingly known as Mum, Mamacita, Momma, Nana, Aunty, and Friend, passed away peacefully at 2:15 PM on Tuesday, March 4th, at Victoria Hospice, surrounded by her loving family.

In her final days, Anne reflected on her long and fulfilling life. She felt deeply loved, knew she had always strived to do her best for everyone she encountered, and believed that her life was well-lived.

Born in Birkenhead, UK, in 1937, Anne’s childhood memories were shaped by life during World War II, shared closely with her beloved younger sister, Eva. And after the end of the war, they welcomed a new baby brother, Gordon.

In the mid-1950s, Anne met Paul, a mechanic apprentice at the car dealership where she worked as a payroll clerk. They married in 1960 and raised their sons, Ian and Neil, at their home near Manchester.

In 1980, in their early 40’s, Anne and Paul relocated their family to Canada, reuniting with Eva and her family. Their new life on Vancouver Island became the heart of their second chapter.

Anne’s youngest son Neil and his wife, Bella, gave Anne immense joy with a beautiful pair of grandchildren, Stephanie and Jeffrey. Stephanie and her wife Sarah later made Anne ‘Nana the Great’ to their children Kanin and Kaia.

Anne had a passion for knitting, and unwavering support for her favorite soccer team, Liverpool FC, and she seldom witnessed a tree, a flower or some birdsong without commenting on its beauty.

The 1980s and 1990s were a golden era for Anne and Eva, as they worked together as Medical Office Assistants and enjoyed the camaraderie of their friends, colleagues, and the local English ex-pat community. Anne cherished trips back to the UK with, alternately, her husband and sister, and upon their retirement in 2001, Anne and Eva also embarked on regular sunny new adventures to Mexico and Hawaii.

Following Paul's passing in 2014, Anne moved to Victoria to live with her son, Ian, and son-in-law, Alain. This new chapter brought exploration of her new surroundings, exciting travels including cruises and even a canal boat journey, as well as leisurely walks in the local park, where despite being a natural introvert, she readily engaged in conversations with everyone she met.

During a year of illness, Anne was comforted by countless kindnesses from nurses, technicians and doctors. Palliative nurse Dawn, Palliative social worker Doug, Hospice nurse Jenny, Oncologist Dr Sonke, MAID provider Sarah and so many others treated and comforted Anne on her journey.

At home, Alain (Anne’s “emotional support animal”) and Ian provided the safety, security, and logistics to help their Mum navigate her declining health. Anne’s great niece Rachel was always available for emotional and physical support, with Julie & Jenni close behind.

Always in charge of any situation, Anne decided when enough was enough, and passed away surrounded by family and the amazing staff of Victoria Hospice. Anne’s final words, just moments before the MAID process began, were “Remember - I love you all”

Anne will be lovingly remembered for her fierce protection and unwavering devotion to her children, grandchildren, and nieces. Her generosity, sense of humor, and zest for life will be deeply missed.

We are all profoundly grateful for the privilege of having had her in our lives.

Anne, we love you forever.

[verlouyi]

E-Transfer Payday Loans in BC: Fast Cash When You Need It Most

Life is unpredictable, and financial emergencies can strike when you least expect them. Whether it's an unexpected medical bill, car repair, or a pressing household expense, having quick access to cash can be a lifesaver. That’s where E-Transfer Payday Loans in BC come in — offering a fast and convenient solution for British Columbians in need.

What Are E-Transfer Payday Loans?

E-Transfer Payday Loans are short-term loans designed to provide immediate financial relief. Unlike traditional loans, they use electronic transfers to quickly deposit approved funds directly into your bank account. This streamlined process makes it possible to secure funds in just a few hours, ensuring you have the cash you need without delay.

Why Choose E-Transfer Payday Loans in BC?

British Columbia residents often turn to E-Transfer Payday Loans for their flexibility and efficiency. Here’s why these loans stand out:

Fast Approval and ProcessingApplications are simple, and approvals are swift. Most lenders approve applications within minutes, ensuring funds are e-transferred quickly.

Accessible for All Credit TypesBad credit? No problem. Many lenders offering E-Transfer Payday Loans in BC focus on your ability to repay, not your credit score.

Convenient Online ApplicationsNo need to visit a branch. You can apply from the comfort of your home, anytime, using your phone or computer.

Transparent TermsReputable lenders in BC provide clear terms, so you know exactly what to expect in terms of repayment and fees.

How to Apply for an E-Transfer Payday Loan in BC

Getting started is easy! Follow these simple steps:

Find a Trusted LenderResearch licensed lenders in BC who offer E-Transfer Payday Loans with fair terms.

Submit Your ApplicationComplete an online form with basic details like your name, income, and banking information.

Get ApprovedMost applications are reviewed quickly. If approved, you’ll receive a confirmation email with the loan details.

Receive Your FundsOnce approved, funds are sent via e-transfer directly to your account, often within the same day.

Responsible Borrowing: Tips to Manage Payday Loans

While E-Transfer Payday Loans in BC are a helpful financial tool, it’s essential to use them responsibly. Here are some tips:

Borrow Only What You Need: Keep your loan amount manageable to avoid repayment challenges.

Understand the Terms: Review repayment dates, fees, and interest rates before accepting the loan.

Repay on Time: Timely payments can help avoid additional fees and keep your finances in check.

Who Can Benefit From E-Transfer Payday Loans in BC?

These loans are ideal for individuals facing short-term financial challenges who need immediate access to funds. If you’re waiting for your next paycheck but have urgent expenses, an E-Transfer Payday Loan can bridge the gap effectively.

Why E-Transfer Payday Loans Are Popular in BC

The combination of speed, accessibility, and convenience makes these loans a top choice for residents in British Columbia. From Vancouver to Victoria and beyond, people appreciate the ability to address financial needs without long waits or complicated paperwork.

When time is of the essence, E-Transfer Payday Loans in BC are here to help. With quick application processes and funds delivered straight to your account, these loans provide a practical solution for unexpected expenses. Remember to borrow responsibly and choose a trusted lender to make the most of this financial resource.

If you’re ready to take the first step toward fast financial relief, explore your options for E-Transfer Payday Loans today!

[speakingaloneoutloud]

I'm wondering if she is just determined to be unkind to me. I need to fix up my resume and apply to some places in Vancouver and after some locum shifts see if that can be an option for me in the future. If not I will be looking at Victoria or Summerland. I might be able to get around Victoria without a car.

[getting-to-victoria]

Car, Ferry or Plane?

Considering a visit to Victoria, BC and curious about your travel options?

I've got some insights for you!

This isn't a complete guide, but it highlights the primary methods to reach this stunning island.

Your main options include:

Taking a ferry, with options for both vehicle and foot passengers

Flying in, either to YYJ airport or directly into Victoria's harbor via seaplane

Opting for a helicopter ride, offering a speedy and luxurious journey

Delving into ferry travel:

Primarily, there are three ferry services, with BC Ferries being the most popular. BC Ferries caters to both vehicle and foot passengers. One point to note is the distance of the ferry terminals from major cities. The Victoria terminal for BC Ferries is situated in Swartz Bay, about 30km north of Victoria, requiring a 35-45 minute drive. For those without a vehicle, there are transportation options available from the terminal. On the mainland, the terminal is located in Tsawwassen, roughly 35km south of downtown Vancouver, translating to a 40-60 minute drive. This terminal is also conveniently close to the US border. An alternative route from the North side of Vancouver involves taking a ferry from Horseshoe Bay to Nanaimo, followed by a 1.5-hour drive to Victoria. Booking in advance is recommended for those bringing a car to ensure a spot on your desired sailing.

The Clipper ferry service is ideal for travelers from Seattle, offering a direct route to Victoria Harbor for foot passengers only. Though pricier than BC Ferries, it provides a seamless journey from downtown Seattle.

The Blackball ferry line's MV Coho offers another option for both cars and passengers, departing from Port Townsend in the US and arriving directly in Victoria Harbor. Despite the discontinuation of the Victoria to Anacortes Island service, there's hope for its future return.

Regarding air travel to Victoria:

For those coming from afar, flying is a common choice. The main airport is Victoria International Airport (YYJ), located near the ferry terminal on the Saanich Peninsula, about a 30-minute drive from the city. It offers a range of car rental services and shuttle options to the city center. Seaplane services, landing directly in Victoria Harbor, offer a scenic and convenient alternative, with providers like Harbor Air connecting to nearby locations including Vancouver Harbor.

For a swift and exhilarating experience, Helijet provides helicopter flights from Vancouver directly to downtown Victoria or Nanaimo, with the journey to Victoria taking just 35 minutes.

To assist further, here are some useful links:

BC Ferries ticket booking for vehicles and passengers

Transportation from downtown Victoria to the Swartz Bay Ferry Terminal

Clipper Ferry reservations

BC Connector bus service from Vancouver to Victoria, including ferry travel

Harbor Air seaplane services to and from Victoria Harbor

Book a ticket for you and your car on BC Ferries.

Bus from downtown Victoria to Swartz Bay Ferry Terminal

Clipper Ferry bookings

BC Connector, bus from Vancouver to Victoria including Ferry

Harbour Air, Sea Plane in and out of Victoria Harbour

Consider contacting Ainsley Gower a local Victoria Realtor for all your real estate needs.

[mcllv]

THIS PROFILE IS IRRELEVANT TO THE CURRENT BLOG

BASICS — 🫀 ࣪˖≀

STAGE NAME :: June

BIRTH NAME :: Jasmine Isabella Park 

KOREAN NAME :: Park Jihyo 

BIRTHDAY :: September 4 2000

ZODIAC :: Virgo ♍

BIRTHPLACE :: Victoria, British Columbia 

HOMETOWN :: Vancouver, British Columbia

ETHNICITY :: Canadian

NATIONALITY :: Korean

CAREER — 🫀 ࣪˖≀

PROFESSION :: Idol, Brand ambassador, Mc, Actress, 

YEARS TRAINED :: 2 Years

YEARS ACTIVE :: 2021 - Present

COMPANY :: HONEYCO connection 

GROUP :: MIRA

GROUP POSITION :: Lead vocals, Dancer, Center

PHYSICAL — 🫀 ࣪˖≀

FACECLAIM :: Kim Chae-won || Chaewon Le Sserafim

HEIGHT :: 157.48 cm || 5′2

BLOOD TYPE :: A+

PERSONALITY — 🫀 ࣪˖≀

MBIT : tba

POSITIVE TRAITS :: Proud, self assured, Confident, determined, passionate 

NEGATIVE TRAITS :: Harsh, Problematic, Blunt, Obnoxious, short tempered

THEME SONG ::  Oh No! - Marina and the Diamonds, Notorious - UPSAHL, Lotta true crime - Penelope Scott

OPTIMIST / PESSIMIST 

EXTRA — 🫀 ࣪˖≀

TRIGGER WARNING ! — 🫀 ࣪˖≀  mention of physical ab!se, b!lly!ng, su!c!de, de!th and more…

WORK NOTES — 🫀 ࣪˖≀

June was accused of being a bully in middle school and high school. Apparently stating that June was responsible for the harassment, physical injuries of the student, ██████. There have been accusations popping up in the fandom left and right. To the point where in 2022 you couldn't search up June M- in google without dozens upon dozens of websites, ‘fansites, and twitter accounts dedicated to informing others of her bullying accusations. Of course, seeing as June is still in the group today, these accusations were debunked one way or another. But looking deeper into the whole situation, netizens found the whole scandal to be odd. But now, in 2023, the situation is rarely spoken of. Besides the occasional twitter ramble about how honeyco paid people to keep quiet about the situation. 

‘Favorite Child’ and ‘Honeyco's Most Beloved’ were titles specifically given to June in late 2021 and early 2022, after she released her first solo song. June always seemed to receive special privileges in Honeyco, and her getting the first solo career was the breaking point for most fans. Previously netizens had pointed out how large the amount of sponsorship June was receiving compared to the other members. And before that even, in their debut era people pointed out how costly June’s outfits were compared to the on-budget outfits the other members wore. This ‘problem’ was never resolved, and the apparent mistreatment of the other Mira members still continues to this day.

PERSONAL NOTES — 🫀 ࣪˖≀

June, believe it or not, is possibly the most corrupt person in honeyco, even more than the ceo (which is saying a lot). June comes from a rather wealthy family, she grew up in a large manor with her caring and loving mother and hard working and compassionate father. They lived peacefully, June attended a large private school for most of her life. Until one day her mother and she received the devastating news that her father had tragically passed in a car accident. June cut herself off from the world for years, before eventually her and her mother sold the manor for money, and moved to Busan. Her mother, after somewhat pulling herself together, sent June off to a new public school near their small house. This was when June’s bullying accusations would have started. She was on edge constantly and being abruptly forced into this new environment unwillingly set her off the edge. Was she the person all the accusations said she was? She didn't know, she didn't bother enough to remember that palace. All she did recall was the need to breathe from all the gossip that surrounded her back then. Later, she eventually gave up on her education and went to become an idol trainee. Her mother took her own life. June was devastated. Absolutely in ruins. To the point where she was prepared to give up herself. That was until the ceo of hoenyco,██████████, scouted her. Promising her to make everything better again. To this day June is still confused over how the life she currently has is making it better. 

[college-girl199328]

A BBC reality TV show aired last month that showcased the beauty of British Columbia while also constantly pointing out how frustrating the province's transportation system can be.

Race Across the World began its third season in British Columbia, with five teams competing in an Amazing Race-style journey to get to St. John's, Newfoundland.

The first episode saw people dropped in Vancouver's Stanley Park and told to head to the Haida Gwaii community of Tlell without any access to phones, airplanes, or car rentals.

One team is told to head to Whistler, only to find out there is no public transportation that heads north. Other heads to Vancouver Island and finds out it would cost $500 to travel from Campbell River to Port Hardy.

"With public transport so limited, Canadians have learned to embrace car sharing," gravely intones the narrator at one point, showing one of the four teams that resorted to hitchhiking or ride-hailing websites to make their way across the province, including from Prince George to Prince Rupert and Victoria to Port Hardy.

The lack of connecting buses from town to town clearly exasperated many of the teams, used to a much more robust system of buses and trains across Europe—albeit in countries that are usually much smaller and more densely populated than British Columbia.

"I was under the impression we would be able to switch to another bus, and it'd be easy, so I'm a bit frustrated at the moment," said one contestant as he waited for a bus in Nanaimo.

Clips of the episode went viral in British Columbia over the last week, catching the eye of many politicians who have advocated for better regional transit service.

"We've actually gone backward over the decades," said Green Party Leader Sonia Furstenau, who lives in the Cowichan Valley and has advocated for better transit service linking communities on the island.

"There used to be significantly more access to public transit than there is now in smaller communities about declining regional transit service in B.C.—in large part sparked by the departure of Greyhound from across the province five years ago—David Eby argued it wasn't the case.

But Furstenau believes there are opportunities for more investment, starting with the mindset that part of government infrastructure is public transit—and not just public transit inside Metro Vancouver and Victoria; that's public transit across the province.

If there's any consolation for wounded pride, the next episode of the season had contestants go from Haida Gwaii to Dawson City, Yukon—making the difficulties of southern B.C. look tame by comparison.

[dream-a-little-bigger-x]

Hero Complex | Owen Patrick Joyner

Requested by anonymous: Hi!! Can you do one where the reader is Jeremys little sister and she comes to set and hits it off with Owen and they start to hang out a lot and Jeremy gets really protective of her

A/N: I hope this is what you were looking for! 

Pairing: Owen Patrick Joyner x Little Shada!Reader, Jeremy Shada x Little Sister!Reader

Warnings: fluff, big fight, anxiety 

Words: 7,084

Reader’s POV

Jeremy and I have been the best of friends ever since the day I was born. He might be my older brother, but I’ve always considered him more like my best friend. We used to play games together when we were younger where I’d pretend to be a princess and he was the knight protecting my castle from dragons and dangerous monsters. Or, when we were in a swimming pool, I’d pretend to be a mermaid and he was my dolphin. We played so many pretend games, I’d lost track of most of them. When we got older and made a lot of new friends, we still tried to take at least one night in the week where we’d spend time together, whether it was watching movies together or jamming or just chatting about absolute nonsense or going out together. I even got to be his best (wo)man when he married Carolynn about a month ago, and we’ve been calling each other non-stop since he started this new project of his with Netflix called Julie and The Phantoms. I helped him prepare for his audition and was equally as excited as he was when he got it. This role was written for him. Though, when bootcamp and filming started, it did mean I’d have to miss him for a very long time since he was all the way in Vancouver for months on end. So, now I’ve come up with the idea to go and visit him and Carolynn in Canada. I’d called Carolynn to help me out and surprise him. She picked me up from the airport just a few minutes ago, and as we’re catching up in the car, I can’t help but feel giddy at seeing my brother again. It feels ages since I’ve last seen him at his wedding. That’s also when I saw the rest of the cast last. Jeremy had introduced me to the ones that were at the party, and I loved hanging out with them. It felt like being introduced to one big family that quickly became part of my own family. That was one fun night, but that’s all it was. One night of spending time with all these people and then never hearing or seeing them again. To be fair, they were all really busy with rehearsals and filming and everything. “Are you ready?” Carolynn asks when we’re at the door of their Vancouver apartment. “Yes!” I reply in a hushed voice, just to make sure Jeremy doesn’t hear me. Carolynn unlocks the door and walks in first, I follow suit. My eyes dart around quickly to take in as much as possible before the two of us turn a corner to the living room here Jeremy’s on the couch, watching something on the tv. “What’re you watching, bro?” His head snaps up at the sound of my voice, his eyes widening as he takes in my presence. “No way!” he exclaims as he gets up quickly and rushes over to me, taking me in his arms in a bone-crushing hug. “I can’t believe you’re here!” he mumbles in my ear as he twirls me around. “I wanted to surprise you,” I tell him as he puts me down again, taking my hands in his instead. “I don’t go back to college until like next week, so I figured, why not?” I’m overexplaining again, I know it. Jeremy doesn’t care how I’m here, he just cares that I’m here. “You wanna come to Set with me today?” he asks with this sparkle in his eyes he only gets when he’s really excited about something. “I’m sure the others would love to see you again!” I can’t help the smile tugging at my lips as I think about how much fun they all were at the wedding. There’s no denying that I’d love to see them again too. So, I nod my head eagerly, earning an excited squeal from the boy in front of me. “The driver will be here in half an hour, you need some time to freshen up after your flight?” “Yes, please!” Carolynn guides me to the bathroom where she puts out a pair of towels for me. I shoot her a thankful smile and when she’s out of the bathroom, I get into the shower. Once I’m all dressed and ready to go, the driver is already in front of the building. “Hey, Darren,” Jeremy greets as he gets in. “My little sister’s coming with me today.” He buckles himself into the seat as I do the same. “Hi, I’m Y/N, it’s nice to meet you,” I say to the driver. He gives me a kind smile through the rearview mirror, letting out a small ‘hi’. He must not be very talkative. “What scenes are you filming today?” I ask my brother instead whilst the driver heads down to the next stop. “I think there’s a gig scene we’re filming today,” he answers, and the car comes to a standstill. “We’ve got about ten more minutes before Charlie and Owen head down. You want some coffee?” My eyes bulge out of their sockets at the thought of caffeine alone. I’ve been up for so long, I could use a good shot of wakeup-juice. “Guess that’s a yes. Let’s go!” he lets out a chuckle before getting out of the car with me in tow. “Do I need to remember anything I can or can’t do on set?” I ask the only thought that’s been haunting my mind since coming up with this idea. I knew he was going to have to work, and I also knew he would want to bring me to set. As a newbie to this entire world of filming a show, I worried I would be in the way or say the wrong things or break something. I knew I needed some pointers from my best friend to calm me down. “Just try not to trip over anything, Clumsy,” he simply answers before turning to the barista. This coffee shop seems really quiet at this time of the day, there are no customers at the counter. Just a few at the tables, most of them with their laptops open. “A large coffee with two extra espresso shots, and a medium black coffee to go, please,” he tells the man behind the counter. “Can I get your names, please?” he asks with the pen in hand. “You can write Shada on both of them,” Jeremy answers. The man nods his head curtly before scribbling down the name on both cups.  He pays the barista and then moves to the end of the counter, pulling me along.  “Filming with Kenny Ortega is really chill, Lil’ One, no need to worry,” he reassures me, taking me into a side-way hug, planting a kiss to my hair. “I’m just really nervous to be on a set, does that sound ridiculous?” I ask, twisting the bracelet around my wrist. It’s the one I got from Jeremy and Carolynn for Christmas last year. “No, I think that’s pretty normal. I ought to bring you to set more often, get you used to it all.” “Yeah,” I agree in a hushed voice, going over every possible situation that could go wrong. My train of thought is interrupted by the barista calling out our last name, sliding the two cups over at us. I grab the large cup whilst Jeremy takes his, and exit the joint to head back to the car. “Oh, seems like we’re right on time,” he points out, waving at two boys near the car. The brunette I know as Charlie, waves back before hopping into the front seat next to Darren. The blonde guy, better known as Owen, doesn’t get in yet, and instead waits for us to reach the car. He holds the door open for me, letting me get in first before hopping in himself. Jeremy jogs to the other side, getting in there. Now I’m squeezed between the two boys, clutching my coffee as if my life depends on it. “It’s good to see you again, lil’ Shada,” Charlie says, turning to face us. I giggle at the nickname. They’d called me that at the wedding. The entire night. “Surprising your big brother?” I nod my head in response. “Yeah, I didn’t have anything better to do, so… Came to annoy my brother and his buddies at work.” This makes all three boys laugh, which, not going to lie, makes me feel ten times more at ease. I thought seeing the boys again would be awkward. It’s anything but that. They make me feel so relaxed, and as though I’m a part of their group. Once we’re at the set, Jeremy introduces me to most of the crew and the rest of the cast, but especially Kenny Ortega. “Oh, look at that! Lil’ Shada’s here!” he says, opening his arms for a hug, which I gladly give him. I did meet him at the wedding, but it was so brief, I didn't think he’d remember me. “Hi, Kenny!” I greet excitedly and then let go of him. “You don’t mind if I hang around the set the next couple of days, right?” He inspects me from head to toe, eyebrows raised, and I can’t help the anxiety that’s welling up inside of me. I knew I shouldn’t have come over, I knew this was a bad idea. Kenny doesn’t want me here. I’m just going to be in the way of his mastermind working its magic on this show. I’m going to be a distraction for the actors, especially Jeremy. “Of course I don’t mind, Lil’ Shada! Jeremy's family is my family!” The pressures and intrusive thoughts wash away immediately. Those are the words I needed to hear. I sometimes think I need too much affirmation and confirmation, that other people get annoyed. My therapist told me that’s just my anxious brain speaking. He said if I want confirmation, I need to ask for it. Jeremy has been a great sport in my mental health journey from the very beginning. He took me to my sessions, did the exercises my therapist gave me with me. He’s always making sure I’m okay and gives me the confirmation I need whenever he feels I need it. Which is always at the right moment. “See, Lil’ One? Told you it would be okay!” I shoot both the men a thankful and relieved smile. Kenny places a hand on my shoulder as he passes me, leaving Jeremy and me all by ourselves. “You wanna go to makeup and wardrobe with me?” he asks, to which I nod. He then grabs my hand and leads me to the destined trailer. The second I step inside, I hear an ear-piercing screech coming from one of the chairs, and before I know it, I’m engulfed in a group hug by two pairs of arms. The sweet floral scent entering my nose tells me who it is without having to look at them. Savannah Lee May and Victoria Caro. “Hi, girlies,” I giggle, hugging them back equally as tight. The two let go of me, keeping me at arms length to inspect my entire being. Their make-up is only half done, Savannah’s hair is curled to perfection whilst Tori’s is put up in curlers. “I can’t believe you’re here, Lil’ Shada!” Savannah says, tucking a strand of my hair behind my ear. “We were just talking about you last night,” she points at Tori, who nods vigorously. “Yeah! We were wondering when we’d see you again because we missed you after your brother’s wedding!” the smaller girl explains. My heart melts at the idea of these two girls caring so much about me, they’re wondering when they’d see me again. “Aw, you guys! I missed you too!” I pout, trying my hardest not to start crying from happiness. “Hey! What about us?!” Owen’s voice sounds from the back of the trailer. I turn around to find him in the last chair, getting his hair done. “I missed you too, Owen, but I already saw you earlier!” I tell him whilst making my way to Madison and Jadah in the other chairs. I hug them each from behind, making sure not to ruin their neatly-done hair. “Yeah! But you didn’t say you missed us!” he exclaims. His bottom lip sticks out in a pout. Shaking my head, I make my way towards him and place my hands on his shoulders as I stand behind him. “I thought that was a given,” I whisper in his ear and then turn again to find Sacha and my brother near the doorway. The latter is looking at me with happiness emanating from his eyes. “Hey, Sacha!” I offer the boy a wave, which he returns with a smile. A busy-looking woman squeezes past me towards Owen, so I take a step back to give her more room. I watch her as she plays around with his hair, using spritzes of hairspray to keep it in place. I always loved doing other people’s hair when I was younger. I braided all of my cousins’ hair or used curlers on them whilst playing ‘hair-dresser’. My love for hairdressing went out the door as I got older and more anxious, but seeing this woman play around with Owen’s hair so determinedly, it reawakens the desire and enthusiasm. “This is Teresa,” Owen says when he catches me staring at his head and Teresa’s fingers. “She’s a magician when it comes to hair.” Teresa shoots me a kind smile through the mirror, which I nervously return. They caught me staring, that must’ve been a weird -- and kind of creepy, let’s be honest -- sight. “Y/N used to dream about becoming a hairdresser,” Jeremy informs them when he’s taken a seat in one of the chairs too. As both Teresa and Owen look at me with surprise in their eyes, I feel the heat rising to my cheeks. “You wanna give it a try?” Teresa asks, stepping aside from Owen. I open my mouth in pure horror, not knowing what to tell her. There’s no way I could ever do what Teresa’s doing. What if I mess it up entirely? What if I ruin all the work Teresa has put into his hair? What if I ruin Owen’s hair? “There’s not much you can do wrong with Owen’s hair. It pretty much just does what you ask,” Teresa tries to reassure me after probably seeing the absolute horror in my face.  I glance at Owen in the mirror. He gives me an encouraging nod. “Okay…” I mumble and step up to his chair. “How do you need his hair?” I ask Teresa. Owen’s character Alex probably has a specific way to how he wears his hair. He’s a ghost from the 90’s, I’m sure it’s a little different from his usual hairstyle. “Leonardo DiCaprio from Titanic,” Teresa simply replies, which is enough for me to know. I nervously raise my fingers to Owen’s head, suddenly anxious about the fact that I’m going to be touching this attractive man’s hair. My eyes dart over to his reflection in the mirror, our eyes locking. He licks his lips before they curl up into a smile that gives me enough encouragement to just go for it. I play around with it a little and grab a comb to guide me before asking the hairspray. Teresa hands me the bottle and I spritz some more of the product onto his blonde locks. Though Teresa has already done the works, pretty much, I’m just left with the finishing touches. It takes me about five minutes to get it in perfect shape. “You can tell you’ve had years of practice,” Teresa says, impressed at my work. “I mean, you pretty much did the gist, I just… finished it…” I trail off shyly. I avert my eyes from Teresa to Owen, who’s checking himself out in the mirror. “No offense, T,” he starts, turning to Teresa, “But I think someone’s coming for your job.” I’m frozen to the floor from the compliments that I don’t even move when Owen gets up from his chair and turns around. Suddenly, he’s mere inches away from me and all I can do is crane my neck to look up at him. A vibe I never felt around him when I first met him surrounds us now, resting down on us like a blanket. I don’t know why this is happening or how, but all I can see for a good minute is Owen and his tender smile. Until he places his hands on my waist, picks me up, and puts me down again a feet further. “I gotta go,” he says with a smile, “See you around, Lil’ Shada.” He boops my nose. The sudden movement startles me a little. I watch him walk out of the trailer before I come back from my daze and find everyone else in the trailer looking at me. “What?!” I ask, confused at why I’m being stared at. “What was that about?” Jadah asks, chuckling as she turns to face me. “What was what?” I ask again, seriously unaware what had just happened. “You, pretty much drowning in Owen’s eyes,” Madison reminds me. The thought of Owen’s eyes looking into mine just minutes ago warms me up from the inside out. Especially the nose-boop. “What?! No, I wasn’t,” I deny, but I don’t think I can hide it from either of these people. Thank God Jeremy had left before Owen. He would not have liked that. Jeremy is an amazing brother, but he can get a little overprotective when it comes to love-interests. “I’m gonna go…” I cough awkwardly, trying to come up with a good excuse, “Find my brother…” That feeling I had in that trailer doesn’t subside for the rest of the day. Sometimes I think it does, and then Owen looks my way or sends me a wink from the other side of the room and I’m back to feeling absolutely and utterly mushy. “Hey, you wanna go get lunch with us, Lil’ One?” Jeremy asks around noon when they’re done filming the scene. I take a look behind him, Owen and Charlie standing there, awaiting my answer. I lock eyes with Owen again, and he offers me a beautiful smile that persuades me. “Yeah, sure,” I reply and link my arm with Jeremy’s. The two other boys fall into step with us, Owen on my left, Charlie on Jeremy’s right. “Where are the others?” I ask. Not that I don’t like the idea of having lunch with these three boys. I just really like hanging out with the others too. “They had to start filming another scene, they had lunch earlier,” Jeremy informs me as we enter the restaurant on the other side of the street from the lot.  Owen takes a seat next to me while Jeremy and Charlie sit down on the opposite side of the table. “So, Lil’ Shada,” Charlie starts after we’ve ordered our food and drinks. “I heard you did Owen’s hair this morning…” I am taken aback by his subject of choice, especially since he makes it sound so teasing. My eyes dart from my brother to Charlie and back, unsure of what to say. Owen jumps to the rescue then, feeling me tense up beside him. “Yeah, she did a wonderful job! Her fingers are kinda like magic.” I look up at him, earning a smile from him in return. “Yeah, well, what can I say? It’s a talent,” I flip my hair over my shoulder confidently, though in my mind I’m wondering where all this confidence comes from. Even Jeremy is a little surprised by it whilst the other boys just laugh. “Maybe you should ask Kenny to start next week,” Charlie suggests with an excited grin. “Yeah! Then you could stay with us longer!” Owen’s enthusiasm dazzles me even more so than the words that come out of his mouth. He wants me to stay longer… “I still have to get through college, you guys. I can’t just quit?” I’m catapulted back into reality as those words roll off my mouth. “Do you know how much college costs?!” Owen and Charlie share a glance, wondering if either one of them knows. “I’m an actor, Lil’ Shada, so no…” Owen whispers in my ear without breaking eye contact with his buddy on the other side of the table. I let out a laugh, shaking my head in amusement. “How long are you staying?” Charlie then asks, his eyes flickering from me to Owen and back. “A week. I start college again next Monday,” I reply when the waitress finally brings us our food. “Thank you,” I say to her with a smile, the others doing the same. “So, you’re just gonna stay a week?” Owen queries before taking a bite from his lunch. “Yep… Going home on Sunday,” I answer. The disappointment in his face is prominent. “But I might come back soon if Jeremy will let me.” My eyes dart over to my brother, who hasn’t said much since we sat down. “Can’t really say no to Lil’ Shada, can I?” My lips curl up in thankfulness. “Besides, I think the rest of the cast would hate my ass if I took you away from them.” His eyes flick towards Owen for a split second. He has caught on to the vibe Owen and I have been giving off towards each other. Maybe it’s not just in my mind. “That’s very true,” Owen agrees, his mouth full of food. I turn my head to look at him, eyebrows raised at his immature way of eating his food. My eyes then fall on his chin, which has a little dressing seeping down it. I raise my hand and swipe my finger across his skin, taking the sauce away. He freezes at that moment, halting mid-chew. “Dressing,” I show him before licking it off my thumb. He swallows harshly and when I look back at the boys on the other side of the table, they’re staring at me too with wide eyes. “Someone ought to get this dude a bib,” I joke, trying to take the tension away. Charlie lets out a laugh, nodding his head agreeingly before turning back to his food. My brother, however, just raises his eyebrows at me. He doesn’t love the idea of his little sister being intimate with anyone. Especially not one of his best buddies. I can’t help it though. I’m a twenty-one year old woman, I have feelings. I have hormones. Jeremy’s overprotectiveness isn’t going to take away the fun from this week. I’m not going to let it. 

And I don’t. I spend the entire week on set, either hanging out with some of the girls or with my brother and the other boys. Teresa lets me help out in the mornings with the cast’s hair, teaching me some new tips and tricks. If anything, it just brings me closer to the cast, which is a nice bonus. Mainly because it also brings me closer to Owen. The connection we created during my time in Vancouver has only grown from that first day. Whenever Jeremy’s  not around or he can’t hear it, the two of us harmlessly flirt with one another and, whenever he doesn’t have a scene to shoot, we hang out together. One day, he took me to Julie’s bedroom set where we sat on her bed and talked until we fell asleep huddled up into a cuddle. Jeremy wasn’t happy when he found us like that. Even though I did tell him it was just an innocent nap. He didn’t take it. My brother’s disapproval didn’t stop us though. We just kept going to that set to take a nap together. It has become my favorite part of the day. “Hey,” he captures my attention. We’re cuddled up on Julie’s bed, legs entangled. My head’s resting on his chest, one arm slung over his stomach whilst the other is squished between our bodies. He has his left arm draped around my shoulder, his fingers trailing up and down my arm. “What?” I ask, looking up at him. He’s staring at the decorative lights above us. “Do you really have to leave tomorrow?” His voice sounds so soft, I’d almost believe he’s sad. “I mean… Yeah… I don’t think I can miss my first classes of the semester,” I whisper as though it’s a secret. My fingers start drawing patterns on his chest and abdomen as my eyes focus on them instead of his face. I’m too scared I might kiss him if I keep looking at him.  “Can’t you follow them online? Or just… I don’t know…” he exhales deeply, my head bobbing along. “I just don’t want you to leave yet.” I want to reply, but people bursting in the room cut me off. I scramble upright, terrified it might be Jeremy. Instead, Owen and I are tackled by Charlie, Savannah and Madison. “Group cuddle!” they scream, making me and Owen giggle. I go back to my previous position while Charlie comes to rest his head on my thigh, his arms around my waist, the rest of his body curled up between Owen and me. Savannah takes Owen’s other side, mirroring my position while Madi rests her head on his stomach. “What were you guys chatting about so intimately?” Savannah asks, followed by a yawn. “Me leaving,” I sigh joylessly. I feel Charlie’s arms tighten around me and Owen tense beneath me. Savannah’s eyes lock with mine, a pout forming on her face. “I don’t want you to leave. It’s been way too fun with you around,” she whispers. “I agree,” Charlie mutters. “Ditto,” says Madison, making me smile widely. Even more so when Owen presses a kiss to my hair. This is where I want to be for the rest of my life. Not on some stupid campus studying for a job I don’t even want to do. I need more time with these people. And I’m going to get it. It’s about time I did something for myself instead of constantly doing shit for others.

“Can I talk to you guys for a moment?” I ask Carolynn and Jeremy at the dinner table. Jeremy halts, his fork lifted mid-air, while Carolynn simply places her cutlery down, giving me her undivided attention. I inhale deeply, trying to gather all of my courage. “I was wondering if I could stay here a little longer? I haven’t talked to mom and dad yet, but I wanna do an independent study this year while interning with Teresa.” Jeremy drops his fork on his plate, a loud clatter echoing through the place. “She asked if that would be something I’m interested in, and to be quite frank, I am. Helping around this week really reminded me of how much I loved doing it.” I glance at Jeremy, noticing how tense and frustrated he’s becoming with every word I say. “Being a doctor was never my dream, Jer. It was mom’s. I think I need to do this. I need to do more things for myself instead of wanting to please others.” “I agree, sweetie,” Carolynn chimes in, offering me a supportive smile before the two of us turn back to the man of the house. He has his lips pursed, clearly mulling this over in his head. “This is about Owen, isn’t it?” he finally asks. The mention of the boy I had grown so attached to startles me at first, I didn’t expect him to be brought up in this conversation since it has nothing to do with him. “He put you up to this?” I open my mouth, but no sound comes out. I have no clue what to tell him. On one hand, I do want more time with him and Charlie and all the other cast members. I want more time with my brother. But I can’t hide that it’s mostly Owen that’s drawing me here. Spending time with him made me feel so much more connected to myself, in some way. He calms my anxiety. He makes me feel happy. Genuinely happy. “Of course he didn’t, Jer. Why would he do that?” I finally manage to bring out. “Because you’re clearly in love with him, Y/N!” The loudness of his voice and harshness of his tone makes me flinch. “But he’s not right for you! He’s distracting you from your goals, making you think this is what you want! You don’t know what love feels like but you think you do! You and Owen can’t happen, and you can’t stay here. You have to go back home!” The anger and frustration builds inside of me, and pours out in the form of tears. “You don’t have a say in this, Jer! I am twenty-one, I’m not a child anymore! I can decide what I want to do with my life and I can decide who I love!” I’m surprised by the words that flow out of my mouth. “I get that you wanna be the protective brother, Jeremy, but this is going too far. You have to let me make my own mistakes! You have to let me live my life the way I want it to!” He angrily shoves his chair back when he stands up in frustration, making Carolynn flinch. “You’re still a child, Y/N!” he shouts at me. I stand up too, leaning my hands on the tabletop. “I’m not even a year younger than you, Jer! If I’m a child, so are you!” I yell back. “At least I’m married and have a family!” he aggressively points at Carolynn, who’s rubbing her face in desperation. My eyes flicker from my sister-in-law back to my brother. “I would be in a relationship if you didn’t scare off every person I ever brought home!” “I didn’t want you getting hurt, but did I ever get a thank you for that?!” I scoff at him. He’s not playing the petty card right now. “That’s just life, Jer! People get hurt! People break your heart! But you never even let me experience that pain because you’re too obsessed with being the good brother!” My heart is pounding out of my chest. Jeremy and I have never fought like this. Sure, we used to bicker when we were teenagers, but it’s always been something stupid. This screaming match sounds like years of bundled up distress from both of us. “You have a hero complex, Jer…” I lower the volume of my own voice. Jeremy lets his head drop, knowing all too well I’m right. About everything. About the hero complex, about him meddling in my life. Everything. “I think it’s better if you go to your room for a while, Y/N,” Carolynn orders sweetly. The pent-up anger still hasn’t gone completely, it makes me want to lash out at Carolynn too. “Still not a child,” I mutter instead before grabbing my bag and leaving the apartment. Once the cold Vancouver air hits me, the realization of what just happened does too. The tears escape again, along with anger and regret. I don’t regret what I said to my brother. It’s the truth. It’s exactly what I’ve been thinking for years. What I do regret is telling him all of that in a burst of anger instead of a civilized conversation like we used to back in the day. That’s the only thing I really do regret. After a while of roaming the streets of Vancouver and getting riled up about the whole situation again, I find myself aggressively knocking at Charlie and Owen’s door. I don’t know where else to go and Owen’s the only one who could calm me down from the anger and frustration I’m still holding inside for my brother. I still can’t believe he even dared to say that to me. “Lil’ Shada!” Charlie greets excitedly, but his smile quickly disappears upon seeing my state of being. Jaw clenched, balled fists, tears running down my face. “Hey, Gorgeous, are you okay?” Owen appears in the door too after hearing Charlie utter my nickname. Upon seeing the boy, I race into the apartment, grab his face and bring him down to meet his lips. He’s startled at the force and aggression I’m putting into this kiss, but that soon dissolves when he kisses back. His hands find their way to my waist, pulling me closer and closer until I can’t do anything else but wrap my legs around his waist. He holds me tight, scared he might drop me while my fingers find their way into his hair. I pull back from his lips, but keep my forehead pressed to his. Both of us are panting from the intensity. I can tell from that sparkle in his eyes he  has no clue what happened, but he wanted it to happen for a while.  “I’m gonna stay,” I tell him in a whisper, which only makes the sparkle in his eyes more earnest. Without another doubt, he crashes his lips on mine again. This time, he takes it a little slower, making it more sensational without depriving it from the sizzle from before. I try to forget about the fight I’d just had with Jeremy and focus solely on Owen, but my brain counteracts. His words are on repeat in my mind like syncopated beats. This time Owen pulls back when he no doubtedly tastes the saltiness of my tears mixing in with the passion. He looks at me, the sparkle in his eyes making room for worry. “Hey, hey, what’s wrong?” he whispers, putting me down on my feet again but keeping his arms around me and my body close. “I’m sorry, I just…” I inhale sharply, “I had a major fight with Jeremy and I just can’t shake it. I have never seen him like this…” Owen snakes his arms around my shoulders, pushing him closer into his chest. He lets me cry for a while, holding me in his arms until I’ve calmed down a little. He takes me to the couch where Charlie’s sitting too. I hadn’t even noticed him still in the room, let alone that he moved. “Talk to me, Gorgeous,” Owen whispers, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear. He’d stopped calling me “Lil’ Shada” a while ago, which makes me feel like I’m more than just Jer’s little sister. Savannah told me it was what he did to anyone he liked. Those little details are his way of showing his appreciation or love to someone.  I like the small details in Owen’s love language. “I wanted to ask him and Care if I could stay at their place a little while longer, and I told him about the independent study and internship I wanted to do while here. For some reason, he thought I was doing all of this for you, that you put me up to this.” Owen inhales sharply at this. I can tell he hates being part of a fight between two people that mean a lot to him. “I told him it had nothing to do with you, but he didn’t believe me. He was shouting and screaming that I was still a child and that I couldn’t make my own decisions. I told him he had a hero complex,” I scoff at myself. This whole fight sounds even more ridiculous now. “Told him that he wants to be the good brother and that he has this idea of being a good brother that doesn’t let his little sister live… or love.” Owen’s eyes flick at mine, a small smile tugging at his lips. “I shouldn’t have shouted at him though… This was all just pent-up anger and frustration from the past twenty-one years. I should’ve just told him to back off like an adult instead of yelling at him like a child.” I glance at Charlie, who had been listening to the entire conversation. His eyes look somber, almost heartbroken. These two boys are just too good for this world. I can’t imagine a life without them anymore. “We both acted like children,” I mutter, shaking my head. There’s rap on the door, shaking all three of us awake from the somber cloud we’re all on because of me. We exchange glances, knowing exactly who’s at the door. Charlie goes first, Owen and me following suit. The anxiety welling up inside of me must be visible to him because he takes my hand, intertwining our fingers as we stand a little behind Charlie as he opens the door. “Hey, Char… Is Y/N here?” I hear my brother ask. The Canadian boy opens the door a little further, presenting Owen and I. Jeremy had been crying too, I can tell. His eyes are red and puffy, his lips swollen from biting on them in distress. “I’m so sorry, Lil’ One,” he mutters from the door. That’s enough for me to let go of Owen and launch myself into my brother’s arms. He’s stunned at first, but then wraps his arms around me too. “I know I can be a little overbearing sometimes, but you have to know it’s only because I love you,” he whispers in my ear, followed by a sniffle. “You’re an adult, just like me, and it’s time I treat you like one.” I push him back slightly but keep my hands on his shoulders. “It’s about time you figured that out.” He lets out a chuckle, dropping his head in defeat. “Hey,” he looks back up. “Thanks for looking out for me. I know you mean well.” “We’re family, Lil’ One, we’re supposed to look out for one another,” he looks past me at the two other boys, “We’re all family.” Charlie and Owen walk up to us, the latter scratching the back of his head with a pained expression on his face. “Yeah, can we not call it a family? Because otherwise, I’m in love with a family member.” He places his hands on my shoulders and presses a kiss to my hair. I meet his eyes whilst my heart beats faster. He’s in love with me. A boy I’m in love with is in love with me too. I mean, of course he is, he wouldn’t have kissed me like that. Jeremy glances from me to Owen and back, trying to decide what to think about this entire situation. I can tell it’s hard for him to let this idea of his little sister go, but he’s trying. “Be careful with her, alright? You might be my best friend, but I will not hesitate to kill you,” Jeremy’s pointing at Owen, a harsh look on his face. “Bro, I could never hurt her,” he reassures my older brother, and me at the same time. “You better keep that promise, Joyner!” That night, Jeremy calls Carolynn over too, and the five of us sit on the couch all night, talking and watching movies. I love being in Owen’s arms so much. Though we used to cuddle and be flirty with each other before, it really does give a whole different vibe knowing I could just turn my head and kiss him now. My parents allow me to stay in Vancouver and go through with my plan, much to all of our relief. Days on set are amazing. I help Teresa and the other hairstylists every morning and during all the scenes when they need touch ups, spend every night at Owen’s and Charlie’s place, and have the most fun I ever had in my life with all these people around here. “Cuddle session?” Owen whispers in my ear when we’re rounding up the scene. His sudden hands on my shoulders and lips against my ear makes me jump at first, but I calm down just as quickly. “Baby, I’m working,” I giggle, clearing all the hair products from the table, knowing he’ll convince me within five seconds. Teresa really is a very loose mentor and wouldn’t mind if I escaped now. “But you’re almost finished though? And Teresa is here to take over from you?” he tries, which makes me look up at him, and then at Teresa. The woman I call my Canadian mother winks at me, letting me know I’m good to go. I turn around in Owen’s arms, wrapping my arms around his neck. “You are so lucky Teresa’s this awesome,” I tell him and peck his lips quickly. “Thank you, T.” I grab Owen’s hand and guide him to the bedroom set we’d used so many times for cuddles, whether that be alone or with the others. The second we’re in the room, Owen tugs at my arm, making me stumble into him with a squeal. Before I can ask what he’s doing, he cups my face with his warm hands and brings me in for a passionate kiss. He pushes me backwards when I kiss back, right until I feel the bed push into the back of my knees. I crawl backwards, Owen following suit as he’s still attached to my lips. He pulls back for a moment, looking me in the eyes with those tender eyes of his. He’s holding up his weight by placing a hand next to my head, using the other to tuck a strand of hair behind my ear. “I love you,” he whispers, causing the corners of my mouth to curl up into a smile automatically. “I love you too,” I whisper back and diminish the space between our lips by pulling him down by the back of his neck. My fingers tangle up into the blonde hair I styled this morning. Doing his hair might just be my favorite part of the day, along with this. “Group cuddle!” Our intimate moment is disturbed by a mop of our friends attacking us on the bed. With a groan, Owen drops next to me, the others piling onto us. That lunch break, all of us take a collective nap on Julie’s bed, some on stomachs, on chests, shoulders, thighs. All our limbs are tangled up together, no bystander would be able to tell which limb belongs to who. To say my new job is the best ever would be an understatement. 

Taglist: @hannahhistorian92​ @marinettepotterandplagg​ @thequirkybookaholic​ @bookdealer5​ @tenaciousperfectionunknown​ @hemmingsness​ @iainttakingshitfromnobody​ @ifilwtmfc​ @angryknightstatesmantrash​ @kiss-themoongoodbye​ @rudysbay​ @caitsymichelle13​ @thedarkqueenofavalon​ 

Lemme know if you wanna be on my taglist! 

[tuancore]

Purple Hearts || {Part 4} :

Starring- Jinyoung x reader.

Genre- Angst | Non-Idol AU, Disorder AU.

Summary- I will continue to love you for as long as I'm breathing, but I won't let my love come in between your happiness.

*GIF not mine, credits to the owner*

The next morning you prepared yourself for whatever Mrs. Park has called you over for. Your mind raced with plenty of questions and the main question was— Why did she want to meet you in the absence of Jinyoung? But you were curious about the reason behind it.

Your thoughts were interrupted by the buzzing of your phone, picking it up almost immediately you began cheerfully, "Hey! JB!".

"Hi Y/N!" He chuckled commenting, "Forever a cutie, I see". Pouting at his constant laughs you shouted, "Why are you chuckling every now and then?".

"Because it's kind of rare to see you up so early in the morning let alone in such a pleasant mood. Are you sure you're not consuming drugs?", He asked pretending to be serious. Creasing your forehead in annoyance you retorted, "Stop it Jaebeom! And just tell me why are you chewing my brain so early?".

"I've called you to ask you out on a brunch~", He mused. "I don't think so because I've to go to Jinyoung's house today", You reasoned massaging your temples.

"Jinyoung's house? Did you guys—".

"Don't put pressure on your small brain.....I'm going because his mother wants to meet me", You informed between heavy sighs.

He hummed in response trying to come up with some other word, "She called you over.....What can be the reason?".

"I absolutely have no idea", You purposely put emphasis on no. "And to be very honest Jaebeom I'm so worried.....and scared".

"What's there to be scared about Y/N? She's just his mother plus you both are basically mother- daughter", He stated in a pretty chill manner, "You're not going there to become a Victoria Secret's model and what's there to be so worried when Jinyoung will be there?".

"The thing is she wants to meet me in Jinyoung's absence", You bursted his bubble. Almost choking on his smoothie, he yelled "In the absence of Jinyoung! Wait....What! That has never happened?!".

"I know and that's why I'm worried and scared!" You shrieked biting on your nails slightly. "Okay listen take a deep breath and just go for it!" He cheered.

"You're scaring me even more!".

"What can I even do? The way you're talking, your tension is seeping through my phone", He shouted back biting the rim of his glass, "Go and see for yourself, but let me know about it later".

____________

The talk with Jaebeom didn't go really well, by the time you hung up on him. Your heart was literally pounding terror which has now started to course through your veins. Yugyeom wasn't home luckily, he left a sticky note on the refrigerator saying he's going to hangout with BamBam and asked you to not to wait up for him.

Giving yourself a final look in the mirror, you let out a loud exhale "You can do this". It's not like you were scared of Mrs. Park instead you were scared of the reason she wanted to meet you and for some reason your insides were churning. A multiple questions swam in your head all over again. Is it about Jinyoung's sudden marriage announcement?

"Yugyeom..." BamBam called placing his right hand on his friend's shoulder, "I don't think it's a good idea to pressurize Noona anymore....She's already so hurt by hyung—".

"She is an idiot! A fucking idiot!", Yugyeom exasperated breath glaring at BamBam, "I know I'm talking about my elder sister.....I don't disrespect her, I never did. But she is practically killing herself bit by bit, Do you think she can handle it for longer?".

Shaking his head briefly BamBam expressed, "No she can't, but whatever the case maybe, you don't have to force her....let her collect herself.... everything is still fresh".

"Collect herself? She took three weeks just to cry and overwork herself....there was absolutely nothing regarding moving on. And Bam do you think you can move on from a person whom you've loved all your life huh? At some point I could think that she'll recover but.....she can't, because Jinyoung hyung is her bestfriend! He'll forever be lurking before her eyes....with Somi!", Yugyeom snapped, his face turning red from frustration, "The night of hyung's wedding announcement when I confronted Noona, I asked her why did she do this to herself....you know what she said?".

BamBam kept quiet giving Yugyeom the cue to continue.

"She said that she did it for Jinyoung hyung's happiness, and that his happiness is all that matters to her....", Yugyeom's voice lowered a tear brimming at the corner of his eye, "I feel suffocated living in that house now, there's nothing same about her.... she stays at work the entire time, returns home late....cries by herself".

Processing each of yugyeom's words and his pain, BamBam lowered his head realising how difficult it has been not only for but Yugyeom as well. He has never seen Yugyeom this sad and hurt before and same goes for you, but the thing is you were always good at masking your feelings and that's exactly why you're paying for it.

"Tell me BamBam, After all of this how can I let Noona suffer anymore and let Jinyoung hyung live a forever happy life with his beloved without him knowing Noona's feelings?".

BamBam understood where Yugyeom stood, "You're right... Jinyoung hyung must know about Noona".

______________

Staring outside the window at the sprinting trees, Jinyoung asked to the man sitting beside him driving the car, "Where are we going?".

"To Busan", He blurted giving Jinyoung a tight lipped smile. "But why? I don't remember having a meeting there Jackson", He tried to reason.

"We don't have any meetings there, but there's an important work for you there", Jackson smiled for a moment before looking ahead.

"Hmm....Okay", Deciding not to ask further Jinyoung zipped his mouth fishing out his phone, staring at his phone's wallpaper which was a selfie of you and him having ice creams. He smiled focusing on your cheerful face, and he missed your smile, your laughs. He missed you.

Sighing he asked Jackson, "Jackson, Do you know what Y/N has been up to?".

Creasing his forehead for a second Jackson asked back teasingly, "No....Why? Are you missing her that much?".

"I am missing her a lot", Jinyoung admitted looking at your photos in his phone. "Yugyeom said that she's busy, but I feel like she's trying to avoid everyone around including me and I don't know why, I'm probably overthinking right now but something tells me it's not only work".

"Yeah...you're overthinking! Y/N is busy with her official work that's why she's unable to hangout. Maybe after relaxing herself a little she'll be back", Jackson cheered in a fake tone, he always found it amusing how you and Jinyoung had some sort of telepathic connection, and that's exactly why Jinyoung could feel something off about it.

Hope you could also feel her heart, Jackson thought to himself.

"Hey Jinyoung, How's Somi? Everything good?", He asked purposely just to divert him from talking about you. Smiling softly Jinyoung replied, "Everything's good, she's good".

"I don't see Somi around nowadays?" Jackson asked sending a side glance at the man sitting beside him. "Yeah, actually Somi is not in Seoul, she went back to Vancouver......some family issues".

"Oh...", Jackson consoled, "I hope everything resolves soon".

_____________

Entering your house silently, you locked the door behind with tears streaming down your cheeks. Walking a few steps your legs almost gave up, stumbling down the floor you hugged your knees to your chest crying harder.

"You have to break Jinyoung and Somi apart", Mrs.Park stated sternly. Unable to believe her words you chuckled, "Aunt...it's not funny".

"I'm not joking, you have to seperate them", Yanking your hands from her grasp you stared at her in disappointment. "Whatever you're asking me to do.... will break Jinyoung! He will hate me!", You yelled.

"Then would you rather let Jinyoung hate himself?", She asked her eyes glossy since the beginning but not a single drop of tear left her eyes.

"W—What do yo—you mean?", You stammered, your instincts sending alarms. "I can't tell you that for now, but if you don't want Jinyoung to hate himself, then you'll have to do that".

Resting the back of your head against the wall, you coughed a little from the continuous crying. You have seen Jinyoung loving Somi for an year now, you don't know how you overcame all that. Surely you wanted Jinyoung to love you the way you've always loved him but not by seperating him from Somi or sabotaging their relationship and that's the reason why you supported him in every step.

"If you love Jinyoung, then you'll do this. I'm not saying this because I hate Somi or something instead I care for her she's a great girl, but I also know about my son, he is not capable of loving her...and I don't want him to hurt her in the end".

Thinking of everything now, you can spend your entire life being his bestfriend rather someone whom he's going to hate for his entire life. You tried to protest but there was something lingering in Mrs. Park's eyes and voice that you came home agreeing to break Jinyoung and Somi apart knowing —

Jinyoung will never forgive you.

Part 3 | Masterlist |

______________________________________

[kayliemusing]

29

cupboard – are you petty? - Not really

delilah – do you have any pets? - Two siamese cats!

misfire – do you want any kids? if so, how many? - Maybe. I change my mind a lot lol. I can see myself with 2-3 kids.

killer queen – what’s an outfit that makes you feel sexy? - I never feel sexy but an outfit that always makes me feel mostly confident is my ribbed sweater tucked into high waisted jeans with a blazer on top.

radio gaga – top five favorite songs? - All Too Well by Taylor Swift, Wild Heart by Bleachers, Saturdays by Twin Shadow, Sleep On The Floor by The Lumineers, and Exile by Taylor Swift ft Bon Iver

freddie – tell us about someone who has changed your life positively. - This might be lame, but Taylor Swift. Obviously she's not a person who is physically in my life lol but I've looked up to her my whole life as a writer and then also as a person, and I just think her music has enriched my whole life is so many different ways from just helping me cope, to providing me with inspiration for my own writing ventures, to just giving me a distraction from life when it gets tough.

brian – what is something you are passionate about? - Writing, love, and being good to people.

john – are you a creative person? - I think so. Sometimes I don't feel like I'm creative enough or in the way I want to be, but I do have a creative spark to me.

roger – what’s a common misconception about you? - I'm quiet and a little on the socially anxious side, so I think a common misconception is that I'm mousy or people can walk all over me and I won't say anything but actually I have really high standards and given the chance, I can be very direct with my expectations or feelings. Like sometimes I'll let things slide but if it continues happening, I'll usually be like "hey stop". On that note, I also think people don't ever expect that I'm really protective too. It's always fun when people think I'm quiet and then they're mean or disrespectful about someone I care about and I stand up for them because there's always this moment of surprise from people lol.

deaky – do you have any nicknames? - Not really. My aunt still calls me Kay Rae sometimes but that's an old one from when I was like super little lol. No one really has a nickname for me.

all dead – when was the last time you cried? - Yesterday.

don’t stop me now – what’s your go-to happy song? - Usually any upbeat Taylor Swift song like Shake It Off or ME! (Both of which get a bad rap for being "annoying" or "childish" which I respectfully disagree with because they're bops and they get the job done).

lover boy – are you a romantic? - Yes

maracas – what’s your prized possession? - I don't know if I really have one. Probably my phone I guess.

bites the dust – bassists or drummers? - I don't really have an opinion tbh. Maybe bassists?

live aid – what’s your dream concert line-up? - Probably like: Taylor Swift, Haim, The Lumineers, Conan Gray, The 1975, Of Monsters and Men, Halsey, and maybe Olivia Rodrigo. I've never really considered this lol.

clean machine – what’s your dream car? - Of all time, I would love to have like a 1970s chev convertible but realistically for me right now I want the Hyundai venue so bad.

mercury – if you could change your name, would you? - Yes, because I find my name childish sounding. I'm a writer and one of my biggest things about my name is that I don't think it sounds professional enough lol

drowse – how do you spend your lazy days? - Not doing my hair or makeup and just watching YouTube all day.

make love – what is your sexuality? - Heterosexual

hot space – what’s an unpopular opinion you have? - Ariana Grande's voice annoys me. I have no beef with her as a person, I just find her voice kind of annoying especially when she's doing that shouty notes thing or where she drags out her notes. It's kind of the same reason I don't like Carrie Underwood much anymore because of the constant up and down octaves. Drives me insane.

‘39 – what are you afraid of? - Spiders, loss, failure/not achieving my dreams, living an ordinary or mundane life in which I never find joy or fulfillment.

borhap – are you happy? - No

jim – are you in love? - No

mary – are you friends with any of your exes? - I don't have exes, because I've never dated *finger guns*

mustapha – how many languages do you speak? - Just English

flash – favorite movie? - Hm, probably Clueless. It's always the first one that pops in my head lol.

las palabras de amor – what’s the most romantic thing someone has ever done for you? - They haven't lmao

tenement funster – are you a good flirt? - No, because I'm shy so I only laugh nervously

rainbow – best concert you’ve ever been to? - I guess Marianas Trench in 2013. I haven't really been to a crazy good show but I remember really enjoying that one. (But via Netflix Taylor Swift's rep tour is the best concert of all time)

scrabble – do you and your friends have any traditions? - We used to get together every halloween night or the night before depending on our schedules and watch every disney channel halloween movie. It was one of my favourite things, but Friend A moved to Vancouver and Friend B isn't in my life anymore.

seven seas – where have you always wanted to travel? - NYC, LA, Prince Edward Island, France, and Hawaii are the big ones, but lately I've really been wanting to see Charleston South Carolina, Edinburgh Scotland, and The Lakes District in England.

keep yourself alive – what keeps you alive? - Taylor Swift's music tbh lmao

liar – are you good at sensing when someone is lying to you? - If they're being obvious or hard to believe, yes, but if they're good at lying, probably not lol.

modern times – if you could go back in time, what decade would you travel to? - I have this weird longing to see Victorian London, maybe around 1830-60s. It probably wasn't a vibe, but I'm in love with Victorian London architecture and furniture so it is what it is. Also would have loved to enjoy the 80s.

japan – favorite place you’ve traveled to? - I haven't been outside of Canada so my list is short. I'd probably say Victoria, BC, but I never was able to fully enjoy it because I had a stomach virus when we were there so every time I ate I felt sick which feels very on brand for me.

garden lodge – what’s your dream home? - I literally have an entire pinterest board dedicated to this. It would be a cozy farmhouse/french country style cottage out in the countryside surrounded by fields and wildflowers.

disco – guilty pleasure? - Buzzfeed quizzes and romance novels.

sunglasses – how’s your eyesight? - Okay. I wear glasses, but my prescription isn't awful. Bad enough that I can't be without my glasses, but good enough that I'm not totally blind if I ever lost them. (I can't see distance so I mean I probably wouldn't get in the car and drive if I lost my glasses but that's beside the point.)

1977 – long hair or short hair? - I'm currently in a phase of needing to grow out my hair, but I generally love cute short hairstyles.

smile – when you were little, what did you want to be when you grew up? - I wanted to be in business.

cheese toast – favorite food? - cheesecake

blazer – do you share your clothes? - With my sister sometimes yeah.

lap of the gods – if you could meet anyone, alive or dead, who would it be and what would you tell them? - Taylor Swift, and I'd probably just talk to her about personal stuff and then how she's been an inspiration to me as a writer.

[thepermanentrainpress]

UNDER THE RADAR: MARCH 2021

Happy spring, friends! We’ve been grinding out the interviews this month, but didn’t forget about Under the Radar. Enjoy these releases from Sunlust, Francis Henson, Mauvey + Lloren, NADUH, Victoria Groff, and Taylor Roberds.

1) Sunlust - “Magnum Opus”

“Magnum Opus” is frenzied and fatalistic—the kind of song that deserves a mosh pit in your living room.

It approaches demise intently; without shame. I can appreciate the Toronto three-piece analogizing the emptiness to that of before birth, simultaneously propping it against a grunge rock sound preaching the opposite. Stephanie Woulfe’s vocals are delivered with snarling intensity. Every chord feels more volatile than the last.

Sunlust's debut LP, Geek Confessions, is out April 12.

Magnum Opus by Sunlust

Written by: Natalie Hoy

2) Francis Henson - “New Kid”

He threads his cultural identity seamlessly into “New Kid,” on the outskirts looking in—and onward. Drawing from experience as a first-generation immigrant, Henson breathes a willful encouragement in the unfamiliar. The gentle folk rock arrangement is hopeful and inviting; the culture shock exists but a brighter future is taking shape. It has a warm driving beat that addresses the initial isolation and societal assimilation, while the head and heart conjures a sublime dream.

I feel motivated by the guarded eagerness he displays, part of a life lived and still so young to the world. Boy Pacific is out now.

Boy Pacific by Francis Henson

Written by: Chloe Hoy

3) Mauvey + Lloren - “Pillow”

“Pillow” forgoes the pretense, dipping right into a gorgeous, bare-bones heartbreaker of a duet.

Mauvey – who was raised in the U.K. and now considers Vancouver a second home – has such rich vocal tone. His deep frustrations contrast with The Voice UK alum Lloren’s etherealness. They are two parts of the same story; softness and doubt coursing through the track’s synth-y veins. It is love from a place of compassion, and reason. Ready to pull the trigger if you are.

Written by: Natalie Hoy

4) NADUH - “R U DUMM?”

Self-proclaimed pussy posse NADUH have the ’90s beat and femme firepower on their side.

“R U DUMM?” is a swooning, bass heavy cut centered around a past relationship and knowing one’s worth. Larisa Marie, Jenny Lea and Giorgi Holiday share the lead on this track—each basking in some pretty brassy realizations, like “You wanted a trophy / Chauvinist low key / Look homie I ain’t your prize,” around the hip-swaying harmonies. "R U DUMM?” has a strong message for women everywhere: a chapter of one’s life may start with you, but it ends when we say so.

Written by: Natalie Hoy

5) Victoria Groff - “Sun and Moon”

Inspired by the “beautiful and strong relationships” in her life, Groff sets in motion a happy ending of her own in “Sun and Moon.” Her sound is lush and inviting; a ray of light at sunrise as the city rises from its slumber. Produced and mixed by friends in Sound of Kalima, the alt-pop cut is for lovers, devoted and hopeful – in a ‘stars align’ state of mind. It has a lingering sound, the production keeping the mood romantic, relaxed.

A candy gram from a sweetheart and cozy to the brim, “Sun and Moon” has the effervescence of our grandest dreams, built together.

Victoria Groff · Sun And Moon

Written by: Chloe Hoy

6) Taylor Roberds - “Red Leaves”

"Red Leaves” is an instrumental track and even more veritable journey, inspired by Roberds’ brief stint living in Toronto last year. You can quite literally hear the start of a car engine; an easy morning breeze taking him back to the west coast. It mixes D.I.Y. percussion (foot stomps, drum sticks striking a couch), melancholic guitar lines and uplifting strings – no misadventure left unturned. It recognizes the beauty in being miles closer to home.

Waiting Through The Weather by Taylor Roberds

Written by: Natalie Hoy

[poetrex]

Ok, Max... I enjoy your knowledge of military history and trivia, so #21. And #25 because I’m curious.

21. You're put in charge of the National Shipbuilding Strategy for the Royal Canadian Navy and Canadian Coast Guard. What are your procurement priorities over the next three decades?

OK, first—sorry I took so long to answer this! I know you enjoy history and trivia—and that's good, because there's a fair bit to unpack here. Apologies for the jargon.

So. The National Shipbuilding Strategy. I hate it, thanks! Specifically the Canadian Surface Combatant (CSC)—it's pork barrel politics on the most massive scale to build large warships in Canadian yards at such an inflated price. I suppose there's an argument to be made for building them at home, but I don't buy it. Icebreakers and offshore patrol vessels yes, but multirole patrol frigates? Far cheaper in foreign yards. So we're going back in time a few years and install yours truly as the (fictional, fanciful) Czar of Canadian Shipbuilding.

Let's start with the basics. Why do we need a Navy and Coast Guard, and what do they need to get the job done right?

Canada is a capital-M Maritime Nation. We border three oceans and have the world's longest coastline. 90% of international trade in bulk travels by water—it's always been the cheapest, easiest way to move heavy goods (as Norman Friedman is fond of saying, it costs less to move a car from Yokohama to New York by sea than to move a similar car by rail from Detroit). Guess who exports some bulky products? Canada. Guess who relies on the regular delivery to ice-free ports of produce and finished goods to maintain a high standard of living? Almost everyone on earth at this point. I live on a boggy rock in the North Atlantic—without maritime trade, it's a starvation diet of cranberries and moose-meat for me and my family. That's why you need a Navy—to secure fair access to the global commons, and to regulate and enforce the sustainable harvest of marine resources, for Canada and the world. You can raise, train and equip an army in under a year from scratch if you need to, but you can't wish a navy into existence out of thin air—modern warships can take ten years or more to build, and they are expensive. So let's talk fleet architecture and procurement strategies.

Icebreakers! We need them urgently, in all sizes but especially a Heavy Icebreaker. The proposed CCGS John G. Diefenbaker should have been a priority for domestic shipbuilding—it was intended to replace the Louis S St.-Laurent, which launched in 1966 and should've retired two decades ago. This need will only become more pressing as a warming Arctic makes the Northwest Passage a more viable route for international shipping.

Forget building the CSC at home—order frigates from European yards, or plan on piggybacking the USN's FFG(X) project. I'd probably take a dozen or so British-built Type 26s.

I've seen the Harry DeWolf-class Arctic / Offshore Patrol Vessel (AOPV) derided as a 'slushbreaker' but she's not bad. Would I like a thicker hull? Sure, but the additional costs aren't worth it, not for her RCN job description—I'd rather prioritize icebreaker capability in CCGS vessels. She's already pricey for an OPV, but it leaves Irving Shipyards something to chew on (I'm not completely unswayed by political arguments for domestic construction).

Joint Support Ships. Because Vancouver's Seaspan yard needs some love too, and because underway support and logistics is sexy.

Finally, Submarines! Our aging Victoria-class boats ought to be replaced, ideally by nuclear-powered subs capable of under-ice operations. Now that n-word's a hard sell, and not just to the Canadian public—the idea's been floated in the past, but nobody's especially keen on exporting their SSNs (and we can't build them here). So we'll likely have to settle for diesel boats—6 at a minimum to ensure operational availability, since you can expect 2 out of 3 vessels to be in maintenance or refit at any given time. I like SSKs but recent advances in Air-Independent Propulsion (AIP) notwithstanding, they can't do sustained polar ops, which is where a lot of... interesting stuff happens underwater (Russia knows the contours of our Arctic shelf far better than we do, for instance. And what was that mysterious Ping in the Hecla and Fury Strait?) So what do we need subs for? Well, partly I just think they're neat. No navy is complete without a subsurface component. They're deadly in war but what they really excel at in peacetime is surveillance. When Spanish trawlers were violating our Exclusive Economic Zone (EEZ) during the 'Turbot Wars', it was our Oberon-class boats (along with CCGS vessels) that played a key role in collecting the evidence needed to chase them down in international courts. Additionally, operating submarines means we're part of the international waterspace management system through which foreign navies are obligated to inform us of submarines operating in or near our waters, which is also nice to know.

Phew! That was an earful, I hope I didn't put you to sleep. I could go on but I probably shouldn't.

25. If you could instantly master any language, which would it be and why?

Mandarin. I love the history and culture and literature of China. I have a few friends in Taiwan that I chat with from time to time. Someday I’d love to visit. I’m also fascinated by China’s naval development and would like to be able to read military publications in Chinese.

[causeiwanttoandican]

The deal that cuts ties between Royal family and Harry and Meghan - explained in full

Edward Malnick Victoria Ward Patrick Sawer Jack Hardy

It was, perhaps, the most significant announcement about the future of the Royal family for almost three decades.

And in a glimpse of the disaffection with tradition that partly lay behind their move, the public was informed of the Duke and Duchess of Sussex’s decision to renounce their royal titles in a post on the couple’s Instagram page, at 6.30pm yesterday.

The post itself conveyed a heartfelt statement by the Queen that appeared to speak as much as a loving grandmother as a monarch concerned about the future of the Royal family.

The Queen said she was “pleased that together we have found a constructive and supportive way forward for my grandson and his family”, following their wish “for a more independent life”.

A separate statement from Buckingham Palace revealed that the Duke and Duchess – whom the Queen said had “so quickly become one of the family” – would step back from royal duties, including official military appointments, give up their His and Her Royal Highness titles, and no longer formally represent the monarch.

Here, The Telegraph details the key changes agreed as part of the deal between the couple and their family, and their significance to the Duke and Duchess:

Titles

The Sussexes, who will now go by Harry, Duke of Sussex and Meghan, Duchess of Sussex, will give up their HRH style – which Prince Harry has had since birth and Meghan since their marriage on May 19, 2018.

Some royal watchers had predicted that the couple may have been preparing to surrender the style after it emerged that their son Archie, born on May 6 last year, had been given no title.

Joe Little, the managing editor of Majesty magazine, said: “The fact Archie isn’t Earl of Dumbarton or styled HRH makes me wonder whether this wasn’t already part of a wider masterplan.”

Their home

The Duke and Duchess of Sussex have indicated they will spend the majority of their time in North America, but retain Frogmore Cottage as a UK base, and that they will pay commercial rent on the home.

Taxpayers paid £2.4 million to renovate the cottage, which the couple moved into just nine months ago – leaving Kensington Palace, which only fanned rumours of a rift with the Cambridges.

The couple have agreed they will pay the Sovereign Grant cost of the refurbishment back to the public purse. Work on the property in the Berkshire property overran and it was reported that the couple made constant design changes, meaning the builders fell behind schedule.

Their new website sussexroyal.com says the Duke and Duchess moved to Windsor for “various reasons”, and that their previous residence of Nottingham Cottage in the grounds of Kensington Palace “could not accommodate their growing family”.

There is now expected to be a short “transition period” during which the couple will divide their time between Britain and Canada, before spending the majority of time in North America.

The Duchess is on Vancouver Island with their eight-month-old son Archie, and the Duke is expected to join her there soon.

Military patronages

The announcement that the Duke of Sussex will lose his military patronages comes as a significant blow to the prestige that he has enjoyed until now.

Prince Harry’s military titles and patronages include that of Captain General of the Royal Marines, a position he was understood to have been particularly proud of, having been appointed in December 2017, when he succeeded his grandfather, the Duke of Edinburgh, in the role.

He will now also lose the other military titles and patronages which he has been awarded since serving two tours of Afghanistan with the British Army, where he rose to the rank of Captain.

These are: Honorary Air Commandant of RAF Honington; and Commodore- in-Chief, Small Ships and Diving.

Commonwealth

One of the major roles lost by the Duke of Sussex in his deal with Buckingham Palace is Commonwealth Youth Ambassador, which had been the focus of several overseas tours.

The Duke was appointed to the position by the Queen in 2018 with a view to helping young people use “Commonwealth platforms” to address social, economic and environmental challenges facing their generation.

It was work that the sixth in line to the throne pursued with zeal. Last year, he visited South Africa, Angola and Malawi on an official diplomatic engagement in the role.

Prince Harry had also seen it as part of his future work with his wife. In his first speech in April 2018, he said he was “incredibly grateful” the woman he was, at that point, about to marry, would join him in the job.

The role of youth ambassador – his most high-profile at the time – is considered particularly important because of the Commonwealth’s demographic, with 60 per cent of the population of its 53 member nations being under the age of 30.

Despite Harry stepping back from the position, he and Meghan will remain president and vice-president respectively of the Queen’s Commonwealth Trust.

Security

Buckingham Palace will not comment on the couple’s future security arrangements save to say these will be determined by well-established risk assessments carried out by the police and security services.

But experts have warned that taxpayers will need to fund police protection for the Duke and Duchess of Sussex for years to come. They fear couples will continue to be at risk from terror groups, political fanatics and lone obsessives long after they separate from the Royal family.

Dai Davies, who was head of Royal Protection from 1994 to 1998, said: “We don’t want the situation where Harry and Meghan are being followed, without protection, by paparazzi or people with a fixation and we need to be sure that protection is of the highest level.”

Ministers and senior police officers are thought to be determined to avoid the mistakes made over Diana, Princess of Wales, who in 1993 turned down police protection except when she was with her sons or staying at Kensington Palace.

That left her relying on private security at other times, leading to her being in the hands of the Ritz Hotel’s head of security Henri Paul on the night she died when their car crashed in the Pont de l’Alma underpass as he tried to evade photographers.

What they can keep

As Harry, Duke of Sussex and Meghan, Duchess of Sussex, the newly-independent couple will retain many of their patronages in a private capacity.

The Duchess, who has made clear her intention to continue to work on causes relating to female empowerment, remains as patron of SmartWorks, a charity which provides clothes and mentoring to disadvantaged women seeking employment.

She is also patron of the National Theatre, animal charity Mayhew and The Association of Commonwealth Universities.

Prince Harry will continue to work with his key charities, including the Invictus Games and Sentebale, which helps children affected by HIV in Lesotho and Botswana.

Others close to his heart include WellChild, which supports families caring for seriously ill children, and African Parks, a conservation charity.

He remains 6th in line to the throne, with Archie Mountbatten-Windsor at 7th. He is also expected to appear at several scheduled engagements in the UK before the new arrangement takes effect in spring 2020.

The future

What is to come for the Duke and Duchess of Sussex remains uncertain, with many details still yet to be agreed.

The SussexRoyal branding, under which they operate their social media, has already been copyrighted, but aides were last night unable to say whether they would retain it as non-working members of the Royal family.

Experts have pointed out that their official branding could allow them to make millions as a direct result of their former status.

Buckingham Palace will no longer have influence or oversight of the Sussexes’ working lives, leaving serious questions about whether the couple can continue to operate as “SussexRoyal”.

A source said the couple have not yet secured any commercial deals.

The couple’s foundation, due to launch later this year, may also need to be renamed.

Although they will no longer automatically be part of official public events, they are likely to appear at family occasions at the invitation of the Queen.

Aides have not yet indicated whether they will appear on the balcony at Buckingham Palace for Trooping the Colour, at Remembrance events or occasions such as Royal Ascot.

Last night, the couple’s website, sussexroyal.com, published a promise to update “information on the roles and work of The Duke and Duchess of Sussex...in due course”.

[purplesurveys]

870

All About the Letter V

Animals I Like: Vultures. Foods I Like: Vindaloo. I Know Someone Who’s (jobs): Veterinarian, vendor, ventriloquist. I Wouldn’t Mind Visiting: Vancouver, Vienna, and Valencia, Spain. I wish I could also stay longer in Vigan than the last time I was there. Sometimes I Feel: Volatile. Music I Listen To: Got nothing. If I remember a singer or band I’ll just edit this survey in the future lol. Movies I’ve Seen: The Vow. Names I Like: Victoria, Valerie, Virginia, Vaughn, Vivien.

And now, onto the random questions! 1. How many vases do you own? We have six floor vases and another six smaller ones set on tables. 2. Do you wear a visor outside? Nah I just place a hand over my eyes when it’s too bright out.

3. Do you have good vision? Not at allllllllll. My vision started getting blurry by the time I was 10 and it’s just been getting progressively worse. I’ve needed to get my lens changed every four or five years or so. I’d feel pretty lost without them – literally. 4. Do you have a van or a car? Just cars. Our family isn’t big so we never needed a van. 5. Do you know anyone who speaks with a valley girl accent? Aubrey’s probably picked it up already since she’s lived in Los Angeles for a while now. And probably all my other former classmates who’ve moved to LA. 6. Is your voice loud or quiet? I mean I can always modify it lol...but I think it’s on the louder side, even though I barely notice it. I just know it’s loud because I’ve been scolded several times for whispering too loudly skjkhfjksfh 7. Would you like to learn how to play the violin? I would love to. I’m so envious of people who know how to play it. 8. Has one of your checks ever been voided? Afraid I can’t relate yet, haha. 9. Is violence ever the answer? I don’t see it. 10. Are you old enough to vote? Do you vote? Yes, I registered a week after turning 18. I was just that excited lol. Yeah, I voted in the last two national-level elections that have happened since I first got registered. 11. Do you own any pairs of Vans? My sister does. I wore her pair once or twice and found them too uncomfortable so I never desired for my own pair. 12. If you ever get married, will you wear a veil? Yes. I’m all for the traditional marriage traditions when it comes to my wedding, minus the church. 13. Do doctors have a hard time finding a vein when trying to do bloodwork? This hasn’t happened to me but I would try very hard not to faint if a doctor or nurse ever had to prick me twice. 14. Have you ever received a voucher for anything before? I’ve won gift certificates through the years for various restaurants and shops. Most recently, as the VP for external affairs for my org I had to pitch one of our events to potential corporate sponsors and one of the companies agreed to support us by supplying us with discount vouchers, so I was directly in charge of handling those. 15. Have you ever built a volcano for science class? Nah, never. Our science teachers prohibited those in our science fairs because it was already such a common experiment. 16. How often do you vacuum? My mom does it once a week. 17. Were you ever into the whole vampire craze? If you’re talking about Twilight then yeah. I was a year late (it started getting popular when I was in Grade 4 but I got into it in Grade 5 haha) but I was there for the rest of it. 18. Have you ever wanted to be a vet? Yes when I was a kid. There was an interview with a horse veterinarian in one of the kids’ almanacs I used to collect and I thought their job sounded soooo cool. 19..Do you know any war veterans? My maternal great-grandpa. He survived the Bataan Death March too. 20. Do you ever wear vests? Not as fashion but I’ve worn life vests when I’m out in the sea as a safety precaution. 21. Where is somewhere you’d like to go on vacation? Somewhere known for its cold climate, and somewhere that’s not tropical or exotic.  22. Do you live in a village? Sure, you can say that. I live in a gated village. 23. Do you have a large vocabulary? Pretty large but I’m sure it still would’ve been a lot bigger if I had just continued reading. 24. How do you celebrate Valentine’s Day? Do you even celebrate it at all? We celebrate it sometimes but we allot a grander date for our anniversary, which falls less than a week after. Valentine’s can get annoying because almost every restaurant gets super crowded with couples and the wait can get so long and irritating, so we usually just go to a muuuch lesser-known and more lowkey restaurant for a simple dinner. [a-zebra-is-a-striped-horse]

[laurahphoto]

Amazing music photographers around the world

We’re currently facing a world crisis unlike we have seen in a generation. Due to shutdowns of pretty much all normal life, the music industry has completely shutdown touring. Festivals and tours all over the world have been cancelled, and the loss of income to all of those connected to that industry will be devastating. 

This is my very small attempt at trying to help out some of my favourite photographers, nearly all of whom are affected by these shutdowns. I’ve tried my best to link to all their print stores, instagram and websites, but if there are direct ways you want to help them, please reach out. Give them a follow. Share their posts. Tell them how amazing they are. Spirits are low right now, and boosting someone’s spirits is one of the best things we can do to get through this.

We’re all in this together. I hope you discover your new favourite photographer.

UK/EU

Bethan Miller // Cardiff, UK

Bethan Miller is a Cardiff based photographer who works within music, event and wedding photography. I’ve followed Bethan’s work for years, and seeing her come as far as she has, and being a full-time freelancer is incredible. She tours regularly with rising UK band Holding Absence, and her work with them truly captures their moody-vibe.  PRINT STORE // INSTAGRAM // WEBSITE

Corinne Cumming // London, UK

Best known as ‘Captured by Corinne’, one of the music industry’s NICEST humans on the planet, London based Corinne is also an incredible photographer, from her work with Rock Sound with some of your favourite bands, to her unmatched stunning studio work with Drag Queens. I feel so proud when I see her work - we would often share the pit together when we were newbies and now she’s a full-time photographer and owner of her own studio, Hot Dog Studios.

INSTAGRAM // WEBSITE

Isha Shah // London, UK

Honestly, a true legend. Isha’s work is so vibrant, innovative and quite genius. She’s able to work with a range of artists and musicians, and also inspires other creatives with her creative collective, Platform London. Never afraid to speak up, Isha’s no BS attitude makes her so unique, and honestly my feeds would be way too quiet without her. 

INSTAGRAM // WEBSITE

Jennifer McCord // London, UK

Finding beauty in the minimal, Jenny’s work is emotive in the way she photographs some of the most delicate moments, no matter whether she’s shooting live music, portraits or weddings. Seeing her grow from shooting hardcore shows to working with Ellie Goulding, Jenny is IN DEMAND, and there’s a reason why.

PRINT STORE // INSTAGRAM // WEBSITE

Phoebe Fox // London, UK

It blows me away that Phoebe (SHOTBYPHOX) is only 22. She has toured with artists such as Anne Marie, SWMRS, Anteros and The Amazons and is a powerhouse of beautiful content. Her work is clean, bold, and simply stunning.

INSTAGRAM // WEBSITE

Zac Mahrouche // London, UK

Zac shoots a lot of live music, but also creates some really beautiful editorial/fashion photos. I can always look to Zac’s work for inspiration, and I love the way he presents his work across socials.

INSTAGRAM // WEBSITE

Doug Elliott // Brighton, UK

The moody cold tones of Doug’s work make it really atmospheric and cinematic. It’s been amazing to follow Doug’s journey over the years and see him work with artists such as Against The Current. 

INSTAGRAM // WEBSITE

Martyna “Gingerdope” // Stroud, UK

One of the most unique viewpoints in music photography come from Gingerdope. She captures some of the most delicate, overlooked moments on tour, and has introduced me to some of the UK’s best indie bands. 

ONLINE STORE // INSTAGRAM

Ellie Mitchell // UK

Ellie is a machine, and seems to be always touring! I admire how she works within particularly male-dominated genres and has become one of the most consistent music photographers out there. 

INSTAGRAM // WEBSITE

Arne Desmedt “CardinalsMedia” // Antwerp, Belgium

I’ve followed Arne’s work for a while, and he always delivers stunning, dynamic live photos across multiple music genres. His portfolio is an endless stream of incredible shots.

INSTAGRAM // WEBSITE

Sarah Louise Bennett // London, UK

Another amazing woman working in the music industry, and killing it with every shoot she does. Sarah is so hardworking, producing stunning covers/features for Upset & Dork magazines and continuously setting the bar high. 

INSTAGRAM // WEBSITE

CANADA

Brandynnleigh // Calgary, AB

One of THE most creative photographers out there, I love the concepts and essence of her work; there’s a story within every photo and there’s a vintage feel to them that works perfectly. Brandynnleigh is based in Calgary and shoots live music as well as portraits, conceptual projects and landscapes.

INSTAGRAM // WEBSITE 

Lindsey Blane // Vancouver, BC

Ok, I’m biased, because Lindsey is one of my closest friends but also a ridiculously talented human, a bit of a workaholic and someone who gives every project 110%. When we met, we were both working at a camera store (in different locations) and she stalked me on Instagram and messaged me on Christmas Day 2016, and within weeks she was sleeping on my sofa a couple times a month, so she could come over to Vancouver from Victoria and shoot some shows/build her relationships with artists. It’s paid off and seeing her work with some of the biggest artists in Canada is mindblowing.

PRINT STORE // INSTAGRAM // WEBSITE

Brandon Dacosta // Toronto, ON

Brandon works with a range of indie artists including Canadian bands Bearings and Belmont. His work is so energetic and he checks off everything live music photography is all about. Brandon always delivers stunning content, and as a photographer who tours so much, he will need as much support as possible!

PRINT STORE // INSTAGRAM // WEBSITE

Shayla Lee // Edmonton, AB

A multi-talented incredible human, Shayla has continued to develop her own unique style and approach to her work, particular with electronic and EDM acts. We were introduced by Lindsey Blane (she threw us all in a car and took us to Bumbershoot) and have been great friends since. Shayla is also a writer and runs her own blog, Femme Riot. She attends more festivals than I knew existed and creates weird and wonderful photos/collages. 

INSTAGRAM // WEBSITE // FEMME RIOT

Timothy Nguyen // Vancouver, BC

One of the most humble, kind humans I’ve had the pleasure of calling my friend. Having road-tripped down to Seattle for Warped Tour and Bumbershoot, Tim is always so much fun to be around, and you can always lean on him for advice. An amazing photographer with a big heart, you’ll see him catching no sleep and shooting 5 gigs in one night. 

INSTAGRAM // WEBSITE

Kelli Anne // Vancouver, BC

My favourite Kiwi, and potentially one of the funniest people I know, Kelli has come a long way since she started taking photos on her phone at concerts. She is now one of the most consistent live music photographers, continuously producing incredible content. Her portrait work is always STUNNING and I’m jealous of how she achieves those warm dreamy tones.

PRINT STORE // INSTAGRAM // WEBSITE

Bailey Morgan // Vancouver, BC

I’ve only known Bailey a short amount of time, but she is slowly becoming one of my favourite photographers. She has a heart of gold and creates beautiful visuals, working mainly with music, portraits and families. She recently set up Rebel Gal Creators, a collective of womxn photographers.

INSTAGRAM // WEBSITE // REBEL GAL CREATORS

USA

Heather Hawke // Los Angeles, CA

Heather is more than just a photographer. She works within the music industry in PR, runs her own magazine - Decorated Youth and writes thoughtful articles and interviews. She also has really great taste in music. She’s a hard-working powerhouse, and a wonderful human. Support her work!

INSTAGRAM // WEBSITE // DECORATED YOUTH

Sara Feigin // New York, NY

I met Sara at a gig in London waaaaay back. She moved back to the States, where she is currently working as a photographer and writer. Her artist portraits are among my favourite, and she continues to blow me away with her consistency. 

INSTAGRAM // WEBSITE

Kaytlin Dargen // Fargo, ND

I know her as ‘kaydargs’, I’ve loved her work for so long. She has such a unique style and perspective, always putting out incredible work. She works with lots of bands, and I loved her recent album cover for Hot Mulligan. A true artist, and a big inspiration of mine.

PRINT STORE // INSTAGRAM // WEBSITE

Carter Howe // Los Angeles, CA

Carter’s work feels like a movie - dramatic and emotional. I love how her photos are so well executed, and how she finds beauty in the ordinary. 

PRINT STORE // INSTAGRAM // WEBSITE

Alyson Coletta // NJ

A live-music photographer who’s work continues to always make me feel like I was at the concert she shot. She always captures ‘the moment’ whether it’s an arena or tiny sweaty show. Message her to buy any print off her IG/website!

INSTAGRAM // WEBSITE

Maggie Friedman // New York, NY

One of the most active music photographers, she’s probably shot at least five of your favourite artists. Minimum. A content-machine, Maggie’s work is always outstanding. You can buy a print buy messaging her!

INSTAGRAM // WEBSITE

Melodi Ramirez // Austin, TX

A versatile photographer, often switching between bad-ass live music and strong bold portraits.

INSTAGRAM // WEBSITE

Cina Nguyen // Washington, DC

Known as her handle ‘ilikeyourface’ on IG, Cina creates art-pieces with her surreal, dreamy photos. I could honestly look at her work all day. 

INSTAGRAM // WEBSITE

Victoria Sanders // Chicago, IL

Victoria Sanders does’t just photograph concerts - she’s an advocate for pushing for more women in music, and cofounded The Photo Ladies, bringing together a community of women around the world who work in music. Oh and she takes amazing pics, of course.

PRINT STORE // INSTAGRAM // WEBSITE 

Gina Scarpino // New York, NY

Inspirational portraits & live music photos, Gina’s got a real eye for visual concepts, and I always admire how well she executes all of her work.

PRINT STORE // INSTAGRAM // WEBSITE

Natalie Somekh // Newport Beach, CA

Natalie has a vintage feel to her portraits + live music photos which are super dreamy. Message her for prints!

INSTAGRAM // WEBSITE

Kat Nijmeddin // Los Angeles, CA

Kat is a photographer/designer who works with Pure Noise Records. I really love how energetic her photos are, yet her tones are soft and pastel colours which create a really cool style. PRINT STORE // INSTAGRAM