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#WHY IS EVERYONE SICK AT THE SAME TIME????
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Katsuki doesn't believe in love at first sight
Katsuki never believed in love at first sight. How could someone meet eyes and feel as if a thunder ruptured down from the skies and struck them? To love someone means to accept every part of them and to be able to incorporate them into your everyday life. It means building a brand new everyday with that person.
In order to do so you need to know a lot about them. Who they are, what are their plans for the future, what is their character and so on. Then you need to see if you are compatible in many spheres. You need to invite them to your friends group to see if it’ll hit off, you should try living together, they need to get to know your parents.
There are simply so many things to check off the list in order to be able to say you love someone. Otherwise it’s just empty words. I love you here and there. I love you for a week. I love you when you do as I please. Bullshit.
Mina constantly pestered Katsuki that his definition of love feels more like a chore or a job interview than like something a human would be able to accomplish. It wasn’t his fault he had some standards everyone else seemed to lack.
So even now Katsuki doesn’t like to admit that he fell in love at first sight, because it wasn’t the first time when he looked at you.
A quiet ping of his phone tore him out of his work. A new message from someone he didn’t recognise. Without much thought he opened the text.
[Hi, you may not know me but we go to the same lecture on Wednesday at 1 PM. I heard you have neat notes and wanted to ask if it wouldn’t be a problem if you send me today’s ones. I  got sick and couldn’t come and I wouldn’t want to fall behind with the material. Thanks!]
Geez, was there a longer way to type it? Couldn’t you just write: can you give me notes? On the other hand he always complained about people being douchebags.
Clicking onto your profile Katsuki saw a cheesy photo and a few posts from your daily life and vacations. Nothing much to be honest. Yet, he could vaguely remember your face around the people who entered the lecture hall. It won’t hurt to help.
[Sure]
[File attached]
Pushing his phone to the far end of his desk he went back to work. A few minutes later there was another quiet ding and this time Katsuki felt irritation bubbling inside him. It was you once again.
[Thank you so much!]
[I owe you]
[If you ever need anything feel free to write]
Whatever.
It only took a week for Katsuki to be indeed looking for help from someone. Once in a while, during his hero training, he was forced to pair up with someone in order to work on his rescue skills. Usually they’d use dummies but some fucktard in the course planning team decided that it would be most helpful if the students could train with a real human.
Normally Katsuki would ask Mina. He’d swallow his pride and force himself to listen to her babbling for two hours. Just to get it done. Unfortunately, Mina dumped him today, leaving only a [sorry, not feeling well, find someone else]. Damned flu season.
Who was he supposed to ask now, Denki?
As he scrolled down his chats, your profile pic flew by making Katsuki halt.
If you ever need anything feel free to write.
Screw it, you said it yourself, might as well find a person already and move on with his day. He typed a quick explanation and pushed the send button. The day was nearing the afternoon when you responded.
[Sure, if it’s two hours I can make it. Send me when and where I should be]
He shrugged and gave you the address for today's training.
In the early evening Katsuki found himself trotting towards his usual fighting ground absentmindedly. He was thinking about something related to work at Miruko’s when the idea flew out of his head. You were there, he could see you from afar, walking in circles in front of the main door.
Were you an idiot? It was the middle of winter and the early evening cold tore through layers of warm coats to sink into your bones. Why weren’t you entering the building to warm up a bit.
That’s why Katsuki is so stubborn about the whole love at first sight thing. It certainly wasn’t that exact moment when his heart skipped a beat because of you. You were shivering, hiding your chin and red tinted cheeks deeper into the collar of your winter coat. When you spotted him you reached out a gloved hand and waved.
“What the fuck are you doing outside, get in there or you’ll catch another cold.” He persisted, ushering you towards the entrance.
“Wow, good evening to you too.” You looked at him from under your woollen hat, surprised to get yelled at first thing you see him. Though, you did hear the upcoming pro-hero Dynamite, who went to the same lecture as you, was rather intense. “I don’t know, this place just looks fancy. Didn’t want to stand inside like a dumbass not knowing where to go.”
“So you stood outside like a dumbass not knowing where to go.”
“Exactly.”
He let you in and showed you around. After leaving your coat and getting a warm tea (his idea), you were ready to help with his training. The support students and university staff running around asked you to take off any unnecessary piece of clothing such as jewellery or sweaters that could get in the way. You gladly went through with their instructions.
You b-lined another student, a senior support course, who showed you the place where you’d be waiting to be rescued. The spacious arena was moulded into the shape of a city. Some buildings were fine, others rundown as if a villain attack rolled over them. There were paveways and roads, streetlamps and plastic trees. You even spotted a car, though it didn’t look like it could take off anytime soon. 
“It will look the same over and over. You sit or lie down in the place where I leave you and wait for your hero.” Your guide briefed the rules. “And every time pick out a different scenario and tie the band in the place that is put on it.” He handed you a dozen of ribbons with small notes attached to them. The first one you grabbed read: broken arm (tie around elbow).
“Sure.” You nodded your head and he left you on the second floor of a wannabe office building. There were a few chairs scattered around and a table that had a weird bite mark on it. You obediently wrapped the band around your arm and sat down on the floor, waiting.
You wondered how it’ll be, to get fake rescued. You were never in such a situation, always watching the villains from the comfort of your TV rather than first hand. What was Dynamite’s quirk? Suddenly you felt stupid for not knowing. On the other hand, you were never up to date with new heroes and all the popularity polls or colourful magazines. Guess you’d just have to wait and see.
Katsuki didn’t leave you for long. You were counting the pieces of shattered glass beneath your feet when a series of explosions passed beside the building. The small pieces you were meticulously adding shook and you let out a squeak when something heavy hit the wall behind you.
“Shut up, it's me.” Craning your neck, you saw Dynamite’s face, upside down, looking at you. He was halfway through the window. “What have you got?”
“God, you scared me.” You chuckled but quickly shut your mouth. The guide asked you to play the best victim you can. Victims shouldn’t laugh.
Dynamite hopped in front of you and crouched to read the note attached to your elbow. He mumbled something in the lines of fucking scenario and looked you straight in the eye.
“I’m gonna get you out of here.”
There wasn’t anything dramatic going on, it was even quiet outside save for a few shouts here and there. Yet, there was just something in a bulked man looking at you and promising you protection, one secured by his own arms. You felt like the guy from the firefighters video.
You couldn’t stop the giggle at the thought.
“What the fuck are you laughing at?” Dynamite spat.
“Nothing, nothing.” You shook your hands in front of your still laughing face. “Oh shit, this one’s supposed to be broken. Okay, just save me already.” You really fought with the snicker but the cheesiness and awkwardness of the whole situation had you in a chokehold.
“Whatever.” The hero sighed, visibly annoyed, and scooped you into his hands like a sack of potatoes. “I’ll need you to wrap your legs around me. Push the broken arm into my chest and use your healthy one to hold onto me.”
You did as instructed and glued yourself to him as tight as you could. He still held you with one of his arms and just when you started to wonder how the two of you would get down from the second floor he jumped out of the window.
A scream escaped your lips but it was muffled by a loud explosion.
For the next two hours you flew through the air in Dynamite’s hands over and over again. He held you in different ways, depending on your supposed injury, but every time you landed into the safe zone, you realised you were the first or nearly the first. That guy was quick like hell.
The last scenario rolled over and it was a panic attack. You were supposed to be physically fine but otherwise unresponsive and difficult to work with due to your shock. Dynamite tried to take extra steps to calm you down, speaking about how he’ll take you to safety and how it will all be over in a second. It looked like he was having a hard time.
“I need to touch you to take you somewhere safe.” He said, wrapping one of his hands around you.
When you were both at the safe zone, with cardboard paramedics to take care of you, Dynamite did something different. Instead of leaving you in the place where the group of injured would grow, he carried you straight to the ambulance.
“She has a panic attack.” He said to the empty fake vehicle and you just couldn’t take any more of it. You erupted in a fit of laughter. Your body shook in his hands and you gripped the X on his uniform to steady yourself. “What the fuck?”
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry!” You tried to explain but the laughter squeezed your throat. “I’m a shitty actor.”
“I see that.” Dynamite grumbled.
“Do you really need to talk to cardboard people and empty vehicles for two hours every week?” You asked, wiping a tear from your cheek.
“Is it really that fucking funny?”
“No, no! I get it.” You finally calmed down, letting go of the front of his costume. “It’s not that funny, maybe a bit but not that much. I think I’m just in a good mood.” You shrug your shoulders. “It was fun, flying with you, like a free rollercoaster ride.” You gave him a big, big smile. A big genuine smile. A big, genuine, lovely smile, with your eyes closed and teeth out and cheeks tinted pink.
People are stupid. That’s what Katsuki thinks. It’s not love at first sight. It’s love because of a single sight.
Even though Katsuki came to some fundamental conclusions in the topic of love he would get all defensive and intense when he was asked about how the two of you met. It would sound way better if he could say the two of you met, then started to talk more, then went on a date and agreed to meet each other and so on. He just felt so stupid, so awkward and silly when he had to admit that all it took for you was a single smile to make his heart skip a beat.
The worst part? It felt a little pathetic honestly, as if people never smiled at him, but truthly they didn’t, not like that. Not like you.
Katsuki still doesn’t believe in love at first sight. Yet, every other piece of his meticulously calculated equation of love was torn down and rewritten, all of which he gladly took.
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mydarlingclaudia · 3 days
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I will love you ‘til the end of time
note : divider is from @/toastray. I have nothing to say this was supposed to be a couple hundred words but yk.
wc : 2.7k
tags : @lottiies @luvrgreyy
desc : he’s been in love with the memory of you for too long, falling back in love with the newer you took a matter of seconds. fluff, bit of angst (?), au, re4rLeon, fem!reader, not proofread, I talk a tiny bit about sex at the end but there’s no smut.
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Leon doesn’t remember the sound of your voice, it’s been too long, too many years have passed since the day you died.
Six years was all the time the two of you had together. Six good years. All a really, really long time ago. Leon hates it, he knows he’s forgetting, memories are serving less and less of a purpose to him everyday. How is he to remember lying under the trees with you when those trees have been cut down and turned to homes and firewood? How can he remember you gutting fish for the two of you to eat when the fish have left the river you lived by?
The home you originally lived in had been torn down and rebuilt dozens of times by now, Leon wasn’t always there, even when he was, it wasn’t very lived in after you died. He’s been around the world more times than he can remember, before you, with you, after you. No place looks the same. Leon has many homes, stays there for a few decades, packs up, and moves to the next house in the next country.
He had been gifted with everlasting life for being some hero, for fighting monster when those were still a thing, it was well after he had married you, he didn’t tell you, but he thought you’d spend forever together. Didn’t happen, obviously. You got sick, he took care of you, nothing helped.
Leon prayed to whatever God that had bestowed his immortality to him to give it to you too, to keep you alive, to make you healthy again. He received no answer and you died not long after, Leon was left to spend the rest of his eternal life alone, but the world was his, and he has all the time that the universe has to offer. But what had he done to not be granted the one thing he wanted in the world? Why would some God reward him just to let him live the rest of his life miserable?
Leon’s seen everyone fall in love, but love evolved from courting to dating apps, he’s seen an embarrassing amount of shitty first dates. But he’s also seen a lot of good ones, ones where the first date turns to a second one, then a third, then a fourth, then before he knows it, those twenty-something-year-olds he had seen fall in love in a small restaurant were now taking their teenagers to the mall and going to high school reunions.
You would have loved this, or he hopes you would’ve. Because he really wishes that you were there to cuddle up to him on the couch and watch tv with him until midnight, he wanted to take you on cute dates, he wants to buy you things and renew your vows once every few years.
He wishes that the memories are clearer in his head, he can really only see them when he closes his eyes, or when the weather is a certain way, or when a certain smell hits his nose. Leon wants to feel your skin against his again. he wants to hear you talking directly into his ear and see that smirk on your face when you suggest something you know he won't refuse.
But it's been so long and he knows that your body has long since decomposed and your grave has been swallowed up by the ocean, a good half of the time since then he's been living on auto-pilot, the other half he's painfully aware of your absence with each day that passes.
He's not even sure he'd be able to hold you correctly, should you fall back into his arms one day. Would you still love him despite that?
He's gone so long without a lover, would he remember how to kiss? The Hollywood movies don't do it justice, kissing. But no one in those movies kissed like you had, Leon's seen all kinds of romance movies, read all kinds of books, he's always imagined you and him as the main characters, but you never kiss him the way you used to.
Would you even choose him? There were so many different men out there and so many new ways to meet someone and stay connected, there was no rush to get married or have kids, would Leon be the man you'd pick once again? He hopes so.
He doesn't remember Beowulf having a wife, and Beowulf had been great. He knows that many heroes aren't able to keep their wife and their glory at the same time, the decision is often made for them, and they go on fighting until they die. But Leon stopped fighting with the same determination when you passed, he still did it, people needed protecting, but if he wasn't there to protect you, then was there really anything to fight for?
Despite all of this, he's still here. Leon looks the same as he did all those years ago, some things have changed, a lot, really, but not just about him. The world around him has grown, he's watched generations come and go just to get to some shitty grocery store in Raccoon City twenty minutes before they close at eight.
Leon doesn't like to have to work all the time, he thinks it's crazy how he went from hero to cop, more money was needed to live now than he ever imagined would be possible. He has money saved up from years and years of work, but he can't keep using the "generational wealth" excuse when he's got no family.
He doesn't like being bugged much, either. Maybe that's why he's buying his dinner when he's already supposed to be in bed, could be why he works so much even though he can't stand it sometimes, too.
Leon should have grabbed a shopping cart, the basket he carries is overflowing with shit he doesn't even need, when has he ever even eaten Devil Dogs and Zebra Cakes? He really needs to eat more than just pasta and steak every other night, maybe stop getting deliveries from the pizza place, too. He's looking over the ingredients on the back of a cereal box he knows he's going to get no matter what when there's a soft tap on his shoulder, he sighs and stops, turning around and preparing to be asked a question a cashier would know the answer to rather than him.
But Leon freezes the second his eyes land on your face. He must've gone crazy, it can't be you, can it? You're not really standing in front of him with a basket in your arms, wearing a winter jacket over your sweatshirt and smiling at him as if you're some stranger to him.
"Where did you get those?" Your voice is quiet when you speak, his gaze doesn't even follow your hand when you point at the sweets in his basket, he just stands there and admires you for a few seconds.
Leon wants to cry, he wants to hug you, he wants to kiss you, tell you to run away with him, find someway for you to become immortal and stay by his side until the world ends. But he doesn’t, you look at him like he’s a stranger.
"Oh- Th-the uhm, the Zebra Cakes?" Leon finally asks after a few seconds, you only nod. "The e-end of aisle six." Why is he stammering? He's thought about all the things he'd say to you for hundreds of years, and he's instantly throwing every single word out the window the second you come out from whatever corner of the world you've been hiding in.
"Alright, thanks." God, it really is you. Your smile's the same, you look the same, you smell the same, you sound the same, you just- it's you. He remembers the way you sound again, God, please don’t ever take your voice away from him. He stops himself from reaching for your wrist when you walk away, knowing that you don't remember the things he does and that it'll only make you feel weird about him. But he'll settle for knowing that you're alive and that you're in the city, and that hopefully this won't be the last time he sees you.
The next time Leon sees you is on the subway a few weeks later in December.
You're not really looking when you step into the train, reaching up too high for the pole to hang onto and instead grab onto his hand. Your hands are so cold, you really need to wear gloves. But you gasp and pull your hand away when you feel his warm hand touch your skin, instantly holding lower down on the cold pole and looking at him.
"Oh my God, I'm sorry!" It's cute how quickly you apologize, it brings a smile to his face.
"No- No, you’re fine." He wants so badly to wrap his hand around yours, to hold you close and keep you warm, but he couldn’t, he was still a stranger to you. Being in a crowded train and standing a few inches apart was enough for now.
Leon just watches you, you don’t notice because you’re too busy staring down at your shoes, but his eyes are tracing over the curve of your nose, the way your eyelashes look when you blink, how kissable your lips look. He missed this view, although he'd much rather have you looking back at him with the same adoration in your eyes.
Neither of you speak again for the rest of the ride, you can feel him staring at you, though, you don’t entirely mind, you’d probably looking at him if his eyes weren’t burning holes through your skull.
You haven’t left his mind since he saw you at the grocery store, he’s been trying to figure out ways to find you again without getting put on some kind of radar, he’s too impatient to let things happen naturally, but it’s really the only choice he has.
He knows you recognize him, he can’t help but wonder if you’re getting some kind of vision from the past of him kissing you, of you resting on top of him in the sunlight, of him looking at you with awe in his eyes as you laugh at a story he told you.
But he can’t think about that for long, the train comes to a stop and you leave again, looking back over your shoulder at him and giving him a small goodbye smile. Where have you been all these years?
Sometimes, shitty dates were a good thing.
Both parties normally end up having a bad rest of their night, but if some man-child asshole you had been put on a date with hadn’t just thrown a whole tantrum and stomped out of the bar, you wouldn’t be sitting next to Leon.
He didn’t know you’d be here tonight, he was just here because he wanted to grab a drink after work, but this was better.
It’s awkward, he really, really doesn’t hope you think he’s stalking you. How small could a city be? Is it really so odd that the man you said a few words to at a grocery store and bumped into on the train would be sitting next to you at a bar?
Leon’s always had a staring problem when it came to you, he’s sure you’re too pretty for him, not that you were really his anymore. And Christ, you’re still beautiful, maybe even more so now. Modern clothes look good on you, he likes your dress, your shoes, the way you did your hair, the color you painted your nails.
He has to stop staring, because now you’re looking back at him. Leon expects for you to yell at him, or slap him, or something, but you just smile at him and turn towards him a tiny bit more.
“Sorry, didn’t mean to stare, zoned out.” Leon apologizes once his eyes snap up to yours, you had moved from your table up to the bar a few minutes ago, most likely embarrassed. You brought your drink over, too, though you didn’t really pay attention to it, just circling the lip of the cup with your fingers and taking a few sips every few seconds.
“It’s okay, I don’t mind.” Your smile only grows, Leon has to bite back a grin threatening to stretch across his lips. Once again, he’s not sure what to say. Does he ever really know what to say now, though? You take the words right out of his mouth and turn them into broken mumbles that he tries to cover up with a fake cough or forced chuckle.
That didn’t use to happen, he’d still get nervous around you, but seeing you now made him feel like he was falling in love again.
“I’d feel like I’ve seen you before…?” You say, you know you’re right, you just want him to talk to you because you haven’t been able to get him out of your head, for some reason.
“Oh, uhm, yeah- Yeah, I think I’ve seen you around, too.” Is he seriously fucking blushing right now?
“Hm, small world.” You take a sip from your drink, he does the same.
“So, uh, bad date?” Leon asks before he can stop himself, he knows the answer, but you were probably going to get mad at him, get offended and ignore him if he sees you again.
“Yeah,” You sigh, “It’s fine, though. Blind date.” Leon nodded, staring down at the ring of water his glass left on the countertop. “You just here for a drink?”
“Mhm,” Alcohol was like water to him now, not the way that he drinks it everyday, but that it hardly has an effect on him anymore. But he can’t sit here and drink glass after glass unless if he wants people to get concerned, so he just sips on one or two for an hour and leaves. You’re drinking the same drink as him, though, so he decides to stay for longer than usual.
And to his amazement, you stay, too. You laugh and nod at the stories he tells you, he listens intently to the ones you tell in return. Of course you’ve been living a different life than the one he had with you, but this is already getting better than the last. And you seem… into him? More into him than you were with your actual date, he’s not complaining.
By the time you and Leon go your separate ways, it’s pitch black outside, well, not really, it’s never completely dark in a city. The lights of driving cars and buildings illuminate you beautifully, like you’re something holy.
Leon finds a napkin with a phone number scribbled on it in his jacket pocket, it must’ve been yours, he couldn’t be happier.
Whatever higher being blessed him with another chance with you, he’d praise for the rest of eternal life. Because after a few hour-long phone calls and a couple more coincidental meetings, he’s taking you out on dates and you’re holding onto his arm and kissing his cheek.
It’s better than he remembers, the city offers more things for the two of you to do, and he’s up for anything you suggest.
Leon is finally able to feel your skin underneath his fingertips, feel your lips against his, listen to your voice in his ear, buy you nice things, have you cuddle up with him on the couch, he has you back.
You look so peaceful when you sleep, your head resting on his bicep, his naked skin pressed against yours. It’s been a year, you both still look the same, but he knows you’re changing. Leon hadn’t had sex in so long that he was sure that he would’ve fucked it up, you had taken charge, and it had been soft and slow, anyway. Nothing for him to worry about.
He’s been awake for an hour, just looking at you, trying to imprint this memory into his mind in case you were to disappear soon. But you finally start to stir, blinking your eyes a few times as you start to wake up.
“Leon…?” You mumble, he pulls you closer.
“Go back to sleep,” A kiss to your eyebrow, then the bridge of your nose, your lips twitch up into a sleepy smile.
“Mm… ‘kay. Love you.” You yawn, resting your hand on his chest as you close your eyes again and nestle into his shoulder. He hasn’t heard that from you in ages, he doesn’t know if you meant to say it, but he’s thankful you did.
“… Yeah, love you, too.”
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tiredfox64 · 2 days
Note
Any chance we could get some of bihan (possibly his brothers as well, if you feel like it) s/o who's very sensitive and not super socially aware embarrassing the shit out of him in public with mushy nicknames and mentioning embarrassing romantic moments and giving him a little kissy in public. And his partners very softhearted and he doesn't want to hurt her feelings by saying anything so he just has to endure it.
A Heart Made of Soft Ice
Yip notes: GUESS WHO FELT GUILTY AND FORCED HERSELF TO FINISH THIS EVEN THO SHE IS BEHIND ON ASSIGNMENTS ALREADY ;-;
Pairing: Bi-Han x Afab reader
Warnings‼️: Too sick to proofread fully, also embarrassment I guess
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We all know the saying opposites attract. Have you ever tried to push two magnets together and they keep avoiding each other because they are on the same side and you get really frustrated—why are you crying?
Let’s cut to the chase since tears are falling now. It’s a wonder that you work so well with Bi-Han. Ya know, the grandmaster of the Lin Kuei who wishes to be feared and can’t accept his adoptive brother who has been living with him for many years. Oh yeah, a match made in purgatory.
It’s a relationship that shocks many. A cold-blooded killer with a woman who cries during animal documentaries when the prey gets captured is not the usual pairing. You’re delicate like porcelain while Bi-Han is an actual ice wall. He can’t be nice to Tomas whenever he speaks his mind but the moment you speak about something that bothered you he’ll shut his mouth and listen to what you have to say. He even puts in the effort to do other expressions instead of scowling the whole time because he doesn’t want you to believe he’s mad at you. The best he can give is raising his eyebrows and opening his eyes a little, take it or leave it. He has a resting bitch face.
Many have asked you how you could be with that man. Well, it’s very simple actually. When it comes to you he tries his best to cool off. He could be mad at everyone else for the smallest reasons but the moment he looks at you he uses all his might to calm down. If he doesn’t he knows he will scare you or make you think that he is mad at you for no reason. In all honesty, he can’t afford to lose you. You know how hard it was to make you trust him? It’s like befriending a raven you can’t look at them even when they are eating out the palm of your hand.
But he genuinely needs you. You make him feel balanced. When he’s all cold and stern you soften him up like a candle to a glacier. It’s not much but it’s honest work. It probably saves his ass from making rash decisions as well. Heaven knows he gets himself into too much trouble by himself.
And when he’s in those moments where he’s silent and listening to you speak as he cools off you can do whatever. Shoot, you can call him whatever you want. Possibly something like—
“SNOOKUMS!”
Yeah, that.
Your voice echoes through the halls and into the ears of Lin Kuei warriors. Everyone pauses, processing the word you just yelled out. What’d you say? Snookie? What the hell is a Snookie? Well, you’re Bi-Han’s woman so maybe he knows…probably knows…definitely knows.
It’s the look in his eyes that tells everyone he knows. Wide and blank but his eyebrows are not arched in a confused manner. His arms were folded and his nails dug into his tense muscles. The dots connect with everyone and they slowly start looking at their grandmaster. Another yell emitted and grew louder as you came closer
“SNOOKUMS—Oh there you are!” You replied in a cheery tone. It’s much better than that banshee yell that radiates panic and desperation for your Snookums aka Bi-Han.
You run over to your loving boyfriend with a blanket wrapped around you because it will forever be too cold in Arctika. You hugged him tightly, not paying any mind to his bugged-out eyes. It’s horrifying to see him that way considering he is a man who is 80% of the time narrowing his eyes and 20% staring at others with murderous intent. But this stare is all a big question of what he is supposed to do about you. You already yelled that silly nickname and now you’re hugging him like he isn’t a man that’s supposed to be feared.
Some of the clansmen had the nerve to start snickering a little, finding your display of affection to be ridiculous. It’s even more ridiculous that Bi-Han is allowing this. But their snickering was silenced when Bi-Han slammed his foot on the ground, causing a patch of jagged ice to form and make its way to the clansmen before stopping short. He quickly covered your ears to prevent you from hearing his yell.
“Get back to training! I will not hesitate to dispose of those who are unworthy of taking the Lin Kuei seriously!”
Silence ripped through the room before everyone went back to training. Bi-Han slowly dropped his hands from your ears and you pretended like you didn’t hear his outburst. Blissful ignorance is a wonderful thing. He grabbed your wrist, a little too hard for your liking, and dragged you away till you two were a good distance away from everyone else. He let go of your wrist and took a deep breath in an attempt to calm down.
“Why must you yell that-“ he paused to prevent hurting your feelings by saying the nickname Snookums is stupid, “name when you could have easily kept quiet and looked around the temple.”
His words were not taken in since you were focused on rubbing your wrist. He watched as you looked up at him with wet eyes. Sadness is an understatement, despair and betrayal are the correct terms for how you were feeling. Oh gods, he could kick a kitten in the middle of a blizzard and it wouldn’t even look at him like that.
You felt a ball form in your throat, making it difficult to swallow. Your nostrils flared up and a heavy huff was being produced by you. And then the whining.
“Mmmmmm.”
No…
“Mmmmmmmmm!”
Hold it together…
“Mmmmmmmmmmmmeh heh heh heh!”
Wha-What the fuck—Cartman?
Your whines rose in volume and Bi-Han immediately reacted. He covered your mouth to muffle your sadness and tried to de-escalate the situation before your eyes went puffy from tears. He’s nodding his head no while staring you down. From your position, you believed he was angry at you for crying. You know he could never be mad at you but he is feeling a little panicky as he tried to figure out a way to stop you from crying.
“Shh, shh, stop—I’m not mad at you,” he said in his deep voice which didn’t help convince you that he wasn’t mad. The only way he can truly make you stop is by pulling out the big guns aka giving you a hug. He just needs to look around first to see if the coast is clear.
Bi-Han let out a low groan before wrapping his arms around you and squeezing you. It’s like a weighted blanket was wrapped around you before an anaconda decided to come around and squeeze you till you stopped crying. He managed to calm you down and you returned the hug while still sniffling. The idea that Bi-Han was not mad at you had set in and you finally felt calm. Maybe not Bi-Han, his eyes were shifting all around trying to make sure no one walked in on him being all lovey dovey.
“Can I stay with you while you train everyone?” You asked.
Bi-Han really, really, REALLY wanted to tell you to go back into the bedroom and wait for him to return. But with that tone you asked him in and your already shaken-up emotions, it would be a disaster to tell you not to stay.
“Yes…you may stay, but you need to keep quiet for the sake of everyone. You must not distract anyone as they are training.” He’s just making an excuse but you will listen to him.
“Okay!” You replied in a cheery tone.
You two stopped hugging and returned back to where everyone else was. You clung to your blanket while walking side by side with Bi-Han. Now please oh please do not show your affection for him in front of others. He loves you but he also likes it when others fear him.
══💤══╡°˖✧🦊✧˖°╞══💤══
Well…you kept quiet…still doesn’t mean you weren’t lovey dovey in your own way.
It is pretty cute to see Bi-Han with a blanket wrapped around him while you stand in front of him, holding onto the ends of the blanket to make sure you both stay wrapped. It’s only ruined by the fact that he is staring icy dagger at anyone who even snorts. But you don’t know that. You’re in your own happy world where it’s just you and Bi-Han. And in this happy little world, you’re reminded of all the lovely times you and him were actually alone. Times where you would be cuddling in bed as you told him the most basic things ever such as how you saw a chipmunk that day. Meanwhile, Bi-Han is hugging you from behind as his mind rages on about something that Tomas did that isn’t really something to be mad about. Another happy memory came up but this time you vocalized about it.
“Oh Bibi, when we go back to the bedroom can I play with your hair?” His head snapped to look at you right after you said that.
Deep breath in…deep breath out…deep breath in…don’t yell at your girlfriend breath out…
Nearby you both could hear Tomas whisper to Kuai Liang, “I knew he would let her do that,” which almost sent Bi-Han into a fit. He luckily managed to keep it together while his nails dug into the palm of his hand from how hard he was clenching his fists. He nodded slightly, hoping that if he gave you a yes you wouldn’t say anything else. But guess what, YA DID!
“Yay! I can't wait to brush your hair and use my Cinnamoroll hair claw to put it up. You look so good with it up. Oh, what else should I put in your hair?” You let out a gasp like you just came up with the best idea ever, “What if I put a flower clip near your left ear? That means you can show off that you’re in a relationship with me. I’ll try to find a blue flower for you, Bibi.”
Alright, that’s genuinely a cute image to think of. That doesn’t stop Bi-Han from staring at you and questioning why he needs to use a flower to represent his relationship status. Everyone knows he is dating you, how much evidence does he need? Nobody even feels like what you said was silly. It’s adorable how much you love Bi-Han and want to show that you two are together. Even his brothers are gushing about it.
“Aww…you wish that was you with Harumi, huh?” Tomas whispered to Kuai Liang.
Kuai Liang looked at Tomas like he just lost his damn mind. Let’s just return to the sweet couple that is you and Bi-Han.
Your excitement was rudely interrupted by the sound of someone laughing. It was clearly to laugh at you, not with you. You looked over your shoulder to look at the Lin Kuei warrior who decided to laugh at you.
“What is with you and trying to make our grandmaster seem like a spineless weakling? What’s next? Are you going to put makeup on him to make him look prettier? Paint his nail?”
The more the clansman spoke, the more embarrassed you felt. You had no idea you were making your boyfriend look weak in front of his clan. That was never your intention. You always want to support Bi-Han while also getting the full experience of having a partner who allows you to do anything. You turned to look at Bi-Han again and mouthed an “I’m sorry” to him. That knot came back once again and you felt tears form in your pretty eyes. This hurt worse than when you thought Bi-Han was mad at you. Your lip quivered and you felt that whine rise in your throat before you felt Bi-Han’s lips on your forehead. He gave you a kiss on your forehead that was gentle but lasted for a few good seconds. He then removed the blanket from you two and rewrapped it around you. You had no idea what he was doing but oh it was a surprise for many.
Bi-Han moved in the blink of an eye. One second he was next to you and the next he was in front of the clansman who insulted you, his neck being strangled by your boyfriend’s hand. A path of ice was left behind which explained his quick movement. He then slammed the clansman hard against the ground. The sound of a bone cracking could be heard along with the thudding of the body hitting the ground. No one knew what bone just broke but the clansman sure would know. He was out in an instant. For a second, you believed Bi-Han killed a member of his clan. On closer inspection, you can see their chest rising and lowering slowly. They were luckily still alive though horribly injured.
There was silence before your boyfriend yelled, “Does anyone else wish to question their grandmaster’s authority or my partner’s choices?”
Everyone nodded no. A wise choice.
“Good. Now this will be the last time I tell all of you to get back to training!” Bi-Han yelled before returning to you.
No one bothered to help the other guy he had it coming. Plus, everyone is scared that if they helped him, their grandmaster would go after their throats next. Just work around him.
You wrapped your arms around Bi-Han’s neck and squeezed him close to you, “Bibi, you know you didn’t have to hurt that guy. I could have handled his insults.” No, you couldn’t.
“Aww, but you just love me so much that you want to protect me. You’re like a woolly mammoth. All fuzzy and possibly cuddly but a big, tough guy overall. You’re my woolly mammoth.”
Oh gosh, not the woolly mammoth comparison. Anything but that. He’d take a snow leopard but a woolly mammoth?
You started kissing him wherever you could, mostly on his jawline. He’s secretly ticklish there. He was emitting his low groan the whole time but secretly he liked it. How could he not? No matter what you do, what you call him, what you talk about, he will love you at the end of the day. A real man would endure the embarrassment. Bi-Han sure is a man.
A man who goes by the nicknames of Snookums, Bibi, and now Wooly Mammoth.
And at the end of the day, you finally get to be alone with your man in the bedroom where you would play with his hair. Oh, look, a blue flower hair clip. You know where to put it.
“Is it necessary to place a flower in my hair to represent—AH!” He let out a yelp as you yanked a handful of his hair close to you and put the clip in.
“Absolutely, don’t fight me on this.”
Yeah, Snookums, don’t fight it.
Yap notes: YALL IM SO SORRY FOR BEING OUT! SCHOOL ISN'T BAD BUT IT ISN'T GOOD IVE HAD NO TIME TO WORK ON FICS OR EVEN PERSONAL STORIES YET. ITS WORSE BECAUSE IM WRITING THIS WHILE SICK AND JUST FINISHING MY PERIOD YOU KNOW HOW MUCH IT SUCKS TO BE SICK AND HAVING MY PERIOD. IVE FELT SO GUILTY FOR DAYS I HAD TO PUT OUT SOMETHING ELSE I DIDN'T WANT YALL TO STAVE AND IT WAS REDARA'S ART THAT PUSHED ME TO FINISH SO THANKS RED MUCH LOVE. I HOPE EVERYONE IS DOING OKAY I LOVE YOU ALL THANKS YOU FOR HAVING PATIENCE. OKAY I HAVE TO GO IM LITERALLY SHAKING AS IM DEALING WITH PAIN. ADIÓS!
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spiritofpassionfruit · 21 hours
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A–Aventio TGCF idea?? Wherein Civil God Veritas Ratio meets the infamous Ghost King Aventurine during his first mission cuz cuz like— The "live for me" paralels?!? The one who has all the luck partner as well?!? The villain who was actually not the Villain this whole time!?!? The loving humanity a little too much it causes the downfall of a god?!?!?!?
Rant AU in the tags proceed with caution
#Okay to put it into better words:#Veritas having once being a prince wanted to give everyone the prosperity of knowledge and became a civil god in the pursuit of it.#Sadly this backfires in people using that knowledge for their own greed and creating civil wars within it as well as unleashing far more#Destruction upon the land. And the other gods didn't help Veritas in stopping that bc see that's what happens when people overshare info!!#So the aftermath is just pure chaos plus banishment from being a civil god and thrown as this god of war and plague.#800 years passes and he is seen to just still be doing the same things but I a simple term. Teaching people to read and count.#Often times taking up mission and doing research on new pathogens to help cure the sick that can't afford and somehow during a reading#Lecture he gets ascended back to godhood and everyone is like ??? And even he is like ???#Well he doesn't care much about it and just continues to do what he's always done. Except that once in a while he has to take a detour#Mission to deal with ghosts and other malignant spirits. And upon one of those recurrences he finds himself aquaintanced with#The infamous Ghost King Aventurine. Who is mostly feared in heaven due to having beaten the strongest and wisest at their own games. Even#When the odds where fully against him.#As for Aventurine.#His life was harsh but as the prince had given a lot to the people#Not just education but also free them of diseases and sickness. One of which had struck his sister. He liked the prince and wanted to#Follow in giving and protecting the prosperity of the former kingdom. But the good things did not last and his family was struck in between#The many wars that took place. No matter how much refuge Kakavasha and his sister sought no place was ever#Safe enough for them.#He watched the entire world go up in flames yet somehow he could hate the prince-god for it. But rather the people who had started to#Create weapons in his name. The rest of his years he spent it as a warrior slave and then when death reached him he couldn't even go to#The afterlife since he still held so much vigor and wanted revenge to all the people who had turned his land into ashes and his family#Into bones. That is why he became a mourning ghost.#(I didn't want the kakavasha story to be so centered on ratio like it is in tgcf. Because I think it will be fun for the two of them to#Not recognize each other at first after 800 years and then when they do. Rather when aven does he's full on: oh shit it's the cute prince—#As for who was the cause of the upheaval in the kingdom and the maker of the weapons. Idk I was debating there being more than just one#Antagonist to have pulled their strings in verita's kingdom as well as be the reason Aven's sister died. So he's more revenge seeking for t#And the genius society as civil gods just spoke to me it for so perfectly. Ling wen as Ruan mei? Yeah exactly.#ratiorine#Aventio#Dr ratio
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hoshi-neko-hikari · 3 days
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Boy mom Karen (open rp)
A new kid in Hikari’s kindergarten was a very shy boy named Kazuki. Hikari tried to befriend him, but he would just run away from her. He did the same thing with every other girl in class.
Hikari looked sad and confused, wondering why he didn’t want to play with any girls. It was like he was afraid of them.
Then the answer came when it was pick up time. Kazuki had a Karen for a mom. One who did not like girls. She sneered at all the girls in class.
Kazuki walked up hesitantly to his mom.
“There you are, my precious boy! Oh, was school fun? Mommy missed you so much!”
Kazuki blushed red and felt incredibly embarrassed. “Mom….please st-.”
“Oh, are you hot, dear? Did one of those awful girls make you sick? I told you girls are icky and you should not play with them!”
“I-i didnt! I didnt, mom.”
“Let’s go home! I’ll get you mcdonalds on the way home, my precious boy!” She held Kazuki’s hand as she dragged him out of school
All the girls in class put two and two together and gave a collective “ohhhh!”
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@weirdgayenby @corruptedbunny-multimuse @ravensroleplays @welcome-to-random-characters-2 and everyone else
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https-harlow · 3 days
Text
By My Side
Summary: Despite his team's wishes, Jack has no desire to portray being single to his audience early on in his career. He wants you and your future daughter to be by his side through every step. You come in to meet his team, and bond with Neelam.
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Jack signed his record deal when you were five months pregnant, and they didn’t know about you for the first month. Not because Jack was trying to hide you, but because when he met DJ Drama for the first time, you weren’t there, and at some point, Jack just assumed they knew about you. He didn’t keep you hidden, he had posted you several times on his Instagram and assumed someone looked up his Instagram at least once and knew about you and the baby, but somehow, they didn’t.
Jack had been at the studio for a couple of hours with Neelam, Chris, and DJ Drama, he had Urban stay with you. Jack was always nervous about leaving you even though you were now seven months pregnant and still had two months left, Jack was extremely anxious throughout your whole pregnancy, even more nervous than you had been. Even though he tried to hide it, one of the ways he did show it was not wanting you to be alone. 
All four of them were discussing his schedule over the next month, Jack was about to leave for the day when you called him, Jack apologized before he answered the phone.
“Hey, is everything okay?” Jack asked.
“Yeah, everything’s fine, are you on your way home?” You asked.
“Not yet, I’m almost done. Why? Did you go into labor? Do I need to come home now?” Jack asked, panicking, even though you just said everything was fine.
“I’m so sorry, I thought you were on your way home. No, I’m not in labor, I’m fine. I was just wondering if you could pick me up food on the way home, I asked Urban, but he said you’d be pissed if he left me alone and I don’t want to go.” You said and Jack laughed.
“Yeah, he’s right, I would be, but yes, I’ll bring food home, text me what you want okay?”
“Okay, take your time. I love you.” You told Jack.
“I love you too, I’ll be home soon,” Jack said before hanging up. “Sorry about that.” Jack apologized again. “What were you saying?”
“Last thing, then you can leave, promise.” Neelam smiled softly at Jack; she could tell that after your phone call, he was eager to leave. “There was a club that asked if you could do a show in April if you’re interested,” Neelam told Jack and Jack sighed softly.
“I’d love to, but I can’t do anything in April or May. I know it’s not exactly ideal, but I’m going to need some time off around then.” Jack said.
“Like how much time?” Drama asked.
“I’m not sure. My girlfriend’s due date is in April, not until the 19th, but I don’t want to schedule anything to close just in case. I can still come to the studio, but I don’t want to be too far away or playing a show if she needs me. Or have to cancel anything so soon.” Jack explained.
“Oh, you’re having a baby?” Drama asked and Jack nodded.
“Yeah, with my girlfriend, Y/N. I’d love for her to come in with me one day so everyone can meet her, but it just hasn’t worked out yet.”
“Okay, you’re good for the day, you’re going to be here tomorrow right?” Drama asked and Jack nodded. 
“Yeah, I’ll be here at the same time tomorrow, have a good night,” Jack said goodbye to everyone before Neelam walked him out.
“I can’t wait to meet your girlfriend, and I’m happy for you, I can tell you’re excited,” Neelam told Jack and he smiled.
“Yeah, I’m really excited to be a dad, I’m nervous but excited.”
“Let me know if either of you need anything, I know I’m just a part of your team, but I also know that you’re in Atlanta without your parents, and that’s probably terrifying for both of you,” Neelam told Jack before he thanked her and they went their separate ways for the day.
The next day, you tried to go to the studio with Jack, but due to your rough pregnancy and never-ending morning sickness, you stayed back at the apartment. Jack had a long day at the studio, but before he left Drama, Neelam, Chris, and a few other people on his team pulled him aside.
“We wanted to talk to you before you left.”
“Okay, about what?” Jack asked.
“Your girlfriend. We think it’s best if you keep her hidden, same with the baby. We have no problem with you having a girlfriend, or having a baby. We just think that it’s better for your career if you give off the image that you’re single,”
“Is that all necessary?” Neelam asked.
“Sometimes you have to choose your personal life or your career. Plus relationships don’t normally last at 18 anyway.”
“I’m not hiding Y/N or our daughter,” Jack said. “If I wanted the image of being single, I wouldn’t be in a relationship. I know we are young, but I know I want to marry her. We aren’t some stereotypical teenage relationship. She moved to Atlanta with me so I could pursue my dreams. I’m not going to ask her to do that after all she’s done to support me.”
“I just think that it could be better for your career right now, in the future, sure, make your relationship public-”
“No, my decision is final. I’m not hiding someone I love, and I’m not asking her to hide either. You will all realize how special of a person she is, especially to me, when you meet her. I was going to bring her today, but she didn’t feel good, and it was going to be such a long day, I didn’t want to drag her here. I think she’s going to come tomorrow, since I won’t be here as long.”
“I’m really excited to meet her,” Neelam said before anyone else could say anything. She knew why everyone was hesitant, but she wanted to be supportive. 
The next day, you went to the studio to meet everyone. Urban walked a step ahead of you and Jack, Jack had his arm around your waist. You were nervous to meet everyone, even though Jack hadn’t told you that they wanted him to have a single public image, but you could tell he had been coming home stressed, so you had been worried something was wrong at the studio.
Urban walked in first, holding the door open for you and Jack. Neelam smiled as soon as she saw you and Jack. She wanted to be the first one to greet you as she didn’t know how everyone else was going to.
“Hi, I’ve been so excited to meet you!” Neelam said, completely ignoring Jack and Urban. 
“Hi, I’m sorry I haven’t been able to come in and meet everyone sooner, Jack’s been trying to get me to come in since he was signed,” You explained, Neelam shook her head.
“Don’t worry about it, you’re doing something way more important by growing a literal human anyways, I’m Neelam by the way,”
“It’s like we don’t even exist,” Jack joked to Urban, making Neelam roll her eyes.
“I’ve met you before, plus it’s nice to have another girl around, someone who knows how annoying you two can be,” Neelam said, making you giggle, the four of you started walking down the hallway, you and Neelam making small talk, Jack walked into the studio room first, and as soon as everyone saw you it got awkwardly quiet.
“Hey, everyone, this is my girlfriend, Y/N,” Jack said, sliding his hand from your hip to interlock his fingers with yours, gently but reassuringly squeezing your hand. Everyone went around the room and introduced themselves, but less enthusiastically than Neelam, which was fine. You didn’t expect anything crazy, you just felt more welcome by her then everyone else. One of the guys moved off of the couch so you and Jack could sit next to each other, which you appreciated.
After about 15 minutes of everyone figuring out what needed to be recorded today, Jack was in the booth, and Neelam had moved to where he had been previously sitting.
“So, Jack said you’re having a girl?” 
“Yeah,” You said, smiling, “Jack always joked that he wants eight daughters, and after this pregnancy, I’m for sure not having eight kids, but we’ll have at least one daughter.”
“Do you have her name picked out?”
“Honestly, I wish I could say yes, but we don’t, we have a few options, but we can’t decide on one, every time we do, we change our minds.” You explained, Jack looking through the glass to check on you, you smiled softly at him to tell him you were okay.
“I’m just so curious about everything, so if I get annoying, you can just tell me to shut up, and I will. How did you guy’s meet? Jack hasn’t told us much, but I can tell how much he loves you already.”
“I introduced them,” Urban chimed in from your other side.
“And he never lets us forget it,” You joked. “And it’s not annoying, I promise. My family moved when I was in middle school and we ended up living next to Urban, but we didn’t go to the same school until high school, where Urban introduced us on the first day of freshman year, and then we started dating shortly after we turned 16.”
“You’re high school sweethearts? That’s adorable.”
“Yeah, we’ve been together since, we never even took a break after a fight or anything. It’s crazy to think about, but he’s one of the few things I’ve ever been 100 percent sure about. I know we’re young, but I feel like you know when you want to spend the rest of your life with someone, and that’s how I feel about Jack.”
“He’s really lucky to have you,” Neelam said as Jack walked out of the booth, he was just recording some ad libs so it was going to be a bunch of quick sessions.
“Let me have my girlfriend back,” Jack joked, standing in front of Neelam, she shook her head.
“Nope, she’s mine for the day, you have work to do, we’re going to sit here and gossip, she can tell me about all of your embarrassing high school stories,” Neelam joked back, Jack looked at you.
“Please, not the embarrassing high school stories.” 
“I won’t tell any embarrassing stories, promise. But only because I’m probably involved in them too,” You promised Jack.
“Good enough for me, but don’t you also have work to do?” Jack asked Neelam and she shook her head. 
“I’m done for the day, I just wanted to stay and meet my new best friend.”
“Damn, I’m already being replaced by my girlfriend.”
“I never said you were ever my best friend, to be fair,” Neelam said, and Jack fake gasped in shock.
Throughout the rest of the day, you and Neelam continued to get to know each other, and while you didn’t know how anyone else in the room felt about you, she made you feel welcome and comfortable. Jack was glad that you and Neelam were getting along, he watched you two bond throughout the day, sneaking glances at you while he was recording or even sitting in the chair next to the couch you two were sitting on. He was glad someone was making you feel welcome, though he didn’t care what anyone else thought of you, you were going to be right by his side for his entire career.
Tag list @jackharloww @harlowcomehome @nattinatalia @hoodharlow @itsyagirljaz @heavyhitterheaux @harlowsbby @awhore4moree @harlowslefttoe @twerkforambrose @jackmans-poison @ilovenudy @taniapri @killatravtramp @easternparkway @macey234 @toocriticalharlow @lightsoutstyles @rachxc13 @iknowdatsrightbih @idktbh101 @blossomluvv @middlechild404 @hufflewhore128 @christinabae @lafavoritaangel @jackslilsecrett @savvusworld @mingis-wrld
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just-a-ghost00 · 3 days
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No contact : what the heck is going on?
Pick one or several of the following emojis to find out about your reading content. This reading is going to be a bit unusual because the deck I am using is actually a game for children. A card represents a word or an idea. There is just the image. No words, no numbers. So based on the image combinations you get, I will try to channel the messages meant for you to hear.
1 📣 2 🎰 3💥 4💫
Group 1 📣
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The person you were thinking of may have put a hold on the connection to take care of themselves. They are currently traveling or they intend to. They need to recharge their batteries. This person has been giving a lot of their time and efforts to make other people happy. They are exhausted. They wish to rest and indulge in some leisure time. They wish they could stop being a door mat for everyone to walk on. They feel like they can’t express their true self. They are tired of pretending like everything is fine. They feel like they can’t afford rest. When it comes to you and the connection, this person gets cold feet. They don’t know what to do or where to go. What is going on around them takes so much space in their life that they don’t have much energy left to spend with you. To them you are like that pot of jelly or that warm chocolate bowl : so sweet and tempting, so vital. You bring them comfort and a sense of home but at the same time they are scared of what that means. They are running out of gas. They may be Dre pressed or going through a burn out. Hence the lack of communication. They are trying to get back on track by stepping away for a time. They don’t want you to see that side of them.
Group 2 🎰
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The person you were thinking of could be an artist and/or enjoys partying. This person could have recently been on a trip. The reason why there is no contact at the moment is because they are either sick and/or injured. If not, this person needed to heal something or someone. With the chick and the trumpet player, I get the message of someone being a bit vulnerable but wanting to show no weakness and appear stronger. The chick also reminds me of communicating. Because birds always chirp, this makes me think of throat chakra. With the hospital, I get the idea of someone have throat ache or issues related to their voice. They may have needed to take time off to undergo a surgery or to get a medical appointment. With the car and the horse, I get the idea of someone being restless. Wanting to get away from this situation quickly and get back to business. I also get the energy of someone being reckless. Maybe this person got injured practicing a physical activity. The combination of the matching game, the guitar and the necklace, I get the message of someone wanting to connect the dots and get closer to what is meaningful to them. Music is precious to this person and so are you. If they can’t communicate with you properly, this person will use music to convey their feelings.
Group 3 💥
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Seeing the butter card I immediately thought of BTS lmao Once again there are music references in a reading. Also, either one or both of you may be French, wants to go to or has been in France. To be honest with you, there is a lot of chemistry and sexual tension going on. This person is refraining from contacting you in an attempt to resist temptation. That ain’t working well lmao Cause they are running in circles and really wanting to jump on the first occasion they get to interact with you. You might invite this person for your birthday or they are waiting for your birthday to surprise you with something. The combination of the cherries and the lace gives me really sensual vibes. They may want to get closer to you and the way they do it may be a bit rough 😂 With the firefighter and the lit birthday cake, I feel like they wish they weren’t so attracted to you. They wish they could extinguish whatever is going on because it eats them alive. The last card on the bottom right makes me think that you or this person could be working with children or wants children. This person is attracted to your soft side and your childlike personality which may be something you have in common. The fox makes me think that they are prying on you frequently. Even if they don’t talk to you, they closely watch you.
Group 4💫
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The person you are thinking of lives at a distance from you. This person is afraid of falling in love and being intimate with you. A part of them wants to make a move but another would rather safely hide away. They wish that they were more courageous and that this connection would be more fruitful. They are aware of your needs for communication and more substance. If they could, they would run straight to you. But there are annoying flies surrounding the connection. Meaning, people are getting in the way, buzzing in their ear about what they should or shouldn’t do, about what they think of you. This person misses you. They think of you. They know your plate is missing on the table. They feel empty without you around. But in order to see clearly and cut the noise, they had to get away. This person needs to isolate in order to determine what their needs are and listen to their own voice instead of the constant buzzing and chirping of others. They need to determine in this cacophony of opinions, what is essential to them. Only then can they make a move.
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occasionallyprosie · 2 days
Text
"Hiding Behind Plaster and Ceremics"
Chapter 3
Wind reveals something. This marks the beginning of something new.
<<Previous
Read On AO3
Finally actually just ending this one, I've had this chapter drafted so long I feel bad not posting it but I really don't think there's much more to be added to this fic.
----
Legend really didn't like the new status quo. Twilight was very defensive of him, which he was on the fence about to be honest, and Warriors just kept giving him weird looks. Contrast that with the fact he couldn't get any space because Hyrule and Sky were trying hard to get close and he'd promised Twilight he'd try not to be as mean.
Which really just meant he couldn't force the others to just leave him alone. Even after he got over the sickness, they stuck close and he could feel his nerves turn to fire as he couldn't get time to himself.
He was biting down on his tongue, trying desperately to avoid them without breaking his promise to Twilight. Now, not only was he trying to avoid getting attached, he was also just trying to not snap as every nerve, every coil, every spring prepared to get set off because everything was just too close.
They were just starting to make camp when Wind chose his chore for it.
"I'm going on patrol!" He declared.
"Fine, but take someone with you," Warriors reminded him, the usual rule for leaving the larger group.
"Come on, Scholar!"
Legend startled as Wind grabbed his sleeve--not his arm, his sleeve--and dragged him off. He quickly pulled himself free but meeting Wind's eyes--Ocean's eyes, bright and expectant and far too smart--meant he was following him.
Wind happily moved across the rainforest floor, seemingly accustomed to brushing aside underbrush as tall as they were.
Legend decided not to ask why and just followed, letting a distance form between them and letting himself just... relax in the silence and space.
They did a number of expanding loops around the chosen campsite, only coming across some tektites at a nearby river and some Deku Babas here and there. As they turned to go back, having been silent the entire time, Wind spoke up.
"You need more time?" He asked, facing him with an overly knowing expression.
Legend frowned. "What?"
"More time alone and away from everyone?" He clarified, a wry smirk tugging at his lips. "Don’t tell me our ever-aware spitfire didn't notice I dragged him off so he wouldn't explode on everyone."
Spitfire. He'd been called that before by exactly one person, the kid in front of him. Not that he'd say it first.
"Oh," he responded, definitely with the eloquence of the scholar he was nicknamed for. "Why?"
Wind laughed. "Please, I could tell you were getting antsy, I just didn't want to find out if you getting overwhelmed by people is the same now as it was in Hytopia."
Legend stopped in his tracks, Wind noticed immediately and looked at him, a wryness in his eyes.
"You--"
"You think I couldn't recognize you?" Wind scoffed, as if insulted. "I recognized you when we met, but, well, you never said anything, and then you snapped at everyone and cursed out the Rancher when he tried to scold you for your language 'cause of the Smithy and I." He sighed. "It wasn't until you got sick and--" he grinned a bit, "you were hiding behind the Rancher, and his pelt-cloak thingie made you look so much smaller, that I knew I was right. You just didn't say anything."
Legend stared at him but Wind just smiled brightly.
"Which is okay," he said, still just as warm as when he'd asked if he was ready to head back. "I get things change... I get that you've changed and I can tell that something about all of this scares you--you haven't changed that much, Apple."
Legend grimaced. "I'm not scared."
"Can't be courageous without a bit of fear," Wind retorted with a still-wry grin. "But my point is, I noticed you were getting antsy and needed some time away from everyone. So do you want more time, more space, or what? We probably have another hour before we need to get back."
Legend ended up just backing up into a tree and slumping down to the ground, Wind hummed lightly as he followed and sat in the grass in front of him, a solid three feet of space, if not more, between them.
Silence settled, and if Legend closed his eyes, Wind was somehow so silent that as long as he ignored his magic, he could pretend he was in complete solitude.
They stayed like that for a while until Legend broke the silence. "Why aren't you mad at me?"
Wind made a confused noise. "What'd'ya mean?"
"I mean--For not telling, for not saying anything, why aren't you mad?"
Legend wouldn't admit he probably would've completely shattered if Wind was ever genuinely mad at him, Forest was their big brother, yeah, but it had been Ocean who he'd stared at and tried so desperately to mimic during Hytopia, from the casual singing of work songs to the way he fought. All of that had been Ocean, and even the blue cap he still wore to this day was the one Ocean had given him when they'd separated, sure it had been mended and resewn and altered to fit his larger head, but it was the same cap.
Wind laughed at his question though. "Why would I be? It's been years for you, I don’t think you realize how obvious it is that you've been through a lot, and what's probably only obvious to me is that it all hurt."
Legend opened his eyes and looked over at him, Wind gave him another warm smile.
"It's been years for you," he repeated, "but just over one for me. I think you've forgotten how well I know you, how well I can read you, and how little you've actually changed."
Legend stared at him. "It has been years, I'm not the same kid anymore."
Wind raised an eyebrow. "Well you have all the same tells as you did before."
"I do not."
"Oh yeah?" Wind leaned forward to poke his arm. "Then why did I know you needed to be away from everyone? It's almost as if you've been introverted since the day I met you and Hytopia was constantly getting on your nerves because of it, hmm?"
Legend couldn't help but smile a bit as he huffed and swatted him away. "I wasn't doing a very good job of hiding anything."
"And yet Forest didn't have a clue, the oblivious dumbass. I don’t know how he found out but I'd bet a gold rupee that it wasn't until you called him by his name or something."
Legend snorted. He couldn't even argue because Wind was exactly right!
For the remainder of the hour until Wind's necklace chimed with Wild's voice asking after them, they just talked and Legend didn't realize until that evening, just after dinner, that he hadn't even thought about his fear, about what was to come.
He'd reconnected with Ocean, he hadn't even thought twice about it either, which made it worse. He'd just forgotten exactly why he had been spending this whole quest sharpening his edges.
He'd forgotten that it was useless to reach out for them, as they were just going to be ripped away.
And as much as it hurt... he couldn't bring himself to regret it. Not when Wind joined him in his corner of the campsite and just laid down beside him, not chatting his head off, but quietly humming.
His heart felt softer, lighter, but even if he couldn't bring himself to regret it now, bringing his ocarina to his lips and putting a ringing tune to Wind's hums, he knew in his mind that it wouldn't last.
The quest would end and he'd be all alone again, whether or not it would be his breaking point was a different question, he thought Marin had been the breaking point but he still hadn't reached it even after her and then Ravio. What would he do then?
He didn’t know, but he’d have to concede here, wouldn’t he? He wouldn’t be able to fend off both his brothers, which meant… well, it meant he was done. It meant this was the beginning of a new chapter, at least with some of the other heroes. It meant he couldn’t keep running, and once this was over, the pitfalls of grief would catch up to him… but he couldn’t stop it, and he had to just accept that.
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torchflies · 7 months
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Me, planning my funeral, for when this flu, double ear infection and my three pre-existing heart conditions finally shuffle me off this mortal coil. 😂
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unfinishedslurs · 3 months
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The boy stops in his tracks. “I know you,” he says, tilting his head curiously. He’s not tall, but he’s regal nonetheless, dressed all in white. Something about him makes Leia’s hair stand on end, and although she hides it she feels a stirring in her own chest. I know you like I know my own soul, she thinks wildly, and wonders where it came from. Has she gone insane?
“That’s nice,” she says, and shoots him anyway.
He deflects it in a flash of light, a glowing blue laser sword appearing in his hand like magic. She’s only seen one of those before, and it’s Vader’s. If this boy is anything like Vader, she realizes, she’s in deep shit.
She’s smart enough to know when she’s outmatched. Leia makes the tactical decision to run for her life.
Later, as she’s getting the hell out of there, she wonders why he didn’t try to stop her.
She remembers being young and tugging on her mothers skirts, demanding to know why their guest was so sad. “Does he not like it here?” She’d asked, and then, trembling, because Kenobi always seemed saddest around her. “Is it…because of me?”
“Oh, Leia,” her mother sighed, lifting her into her arms. “It’s not that, I promise.”
“Then what is it?”
“Master Kenobi lost a child under his care, years ago.” Breha’s eyes grew deeper, darker. “It was not his fault, but he blames himself. You remind him of that child, that’s all.”
Leia had quieted at that, contemplative.
The next time she’d seen Master Kenobi, she had given him a hug. He didn’t seem to know what to do with that, so she resolved to give him more of them. “He’s lonely,” she’d told her mother. “No one should be lonely.”
Looking at Obi-Wan Kenobi now, the memory seemed so far away. He’d aged thirty years in the ten it had been.
He looks, Leia thinks with a small twinge of regret, very lonely.
“Leia,” he greets. “It’s been a long time.”
Out of the corner of her eye, Leia sees a glint of white.
Kenobi freezes in his tracks. “Luke?” He whispers, and through the distance Leia can hear it as if he’d been speaking directly into her ear.
Master Kenobi lost a child under his care, her mother whispers in her head. He blames himself.
In an instant, Leia understands everything.
Kenobi is still staring at the boy he’d lost so long ago when Vader cuts him down.
Later, as she’s pacing around on the Falcon to Han muttering darkly about Princesses and supernatural abilities, she rememberers the way the boy collapsed, as if all his strings had been cut. Vader was too occupied with him to even look at her as she shot at him desperately.
Luke. She hates him more than she hates herself.
“They know where you are,” he hisses frantically. “They’re coming for you. You have to run.”
“Wait!” Leia quickly pulls up their sonar. Nothing yet, but it would explain the distant queasiness she’d felt since they’d landed. She tended to trust her gut. “How do you know? How much time do we have?”
“Not important, and not enough,” he says. “I have to go, and so do you. You need to leave yesterday.”
“How do I know I can trust you? I don’t even know who you are.”
He pauses. “Call me Skywalker.”
“That’s not an answer, Skywalker.”
“Yes it is.”
She opens her mouth to argue, but there are faint voices on the other end, drawing nearer.
“Shit,” Skywalker mutters. “I have to go. I’ll be in contact, okay? Don’t ever tell me where you are, or where you’re heading. Vader and Palpatine aren’t shy about reading minds. Just leave as soon as you can, and figure out the rest.”
“But—“
It’s too late. The comm has disconnected.
She stares down at it, disbelieving. How would the Empire know they’re here? Why should she trust a stranger who somehow got her personal comm code?
Gut feeling or not, on paper this was a perfect location. Supplied, armored, and most importantly, extremely well hidden. There was no real reason to think it would possibly be found out.
It’s probably a trap. Almost definitely a trap.
Han sticks his head in the door, a sour look on his face. “Hey Princess, can you tell these idiots—“
She makes a decision then and there.
“We’re leaving.”
“What?”
“We’re evacuating, effective immediately.” She pushes past him, and he follows so close he’s nearly stepping on her heel.
“Why? I think it’s pretty cozy here. Actual sunlight doesn’t hurt, either.”
“Apparently too cozy.” She grabs the first person she sees, a pilot who stares at her with wide eyes. “Emergency evacuation. Spread the word to pack everything you can and leave, I’ll let you know where we’re headed when we’re in orbit.”
He salutes and scurries off.
“Woah, hey now.” Han snatches at her elbow until she turns around to face him. “What’s going on?”
“There’s a new informant. He told me the Empire knows we’re here. They’re coming for us.”
“And you trust this person because…”
“I don’t have a choice,” she snaps. Someone runs past them, holding three packs filled to the brim with rations. “It’s either he’s lying and we’re not in danger, or he’s telling the truth and we’re going to die if we don’t listen. It’s not exactly hard math.”
It could be a trap of course, but he hadn’t suggested any sort of direction or destination to follow, and Leia wasn’t inclined to share. Especially not after his tidbit about Vader and Palpatine reading minds.
He squints at her. “That’s not it.”
“What?”
“I don’t believe you,” he insists. He’s so infuriating. Leia doesn’t know why she hasn’t kicked him out yet.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Yes you do, and you’re either gonna tell me why, or find a different transport when we head out of here.”
“Who said I was riding on your hunk of junk?” She demands. She actually was planning on going with them, since the Falcon has more than enough room for all the supplies that can’t fit in the other ships and none of the trustworthiness of the other pilots, but Han doesn’t need to know that.
“Well?”
Damn him. Damn him for knowing how to read her. She doesn’t know when she let that happen.
“I feel it,” she admits, defeated. “Something tells me he’s trustworthy. We’ll wait and see if it’s right.”
He studies her. She holds her head high, but inside she’s jittery at the scrutiny. They don’t have time for this.
“Yeah, all right,” Han finally says.
“Really?”
“Yes, really.” He rolls his eyes, like she’s not acting absolutely insane by putting all her trust in a random man she’s never even met. “Now come on, Princess, weren’t you the one who said we had to hurry?”
What is it about this man that makes it impossible to tell whether she wants to punch him or drag him into the nearest supply closet? They don’t have time to find out.
“So there’s good news and bad news.”
“Bad news first,” she demands.
“They know there’s a mole.”
“Shit.” Of course they know, how could they not? She should have been more careful, less obvious about the correlation of their movements with the Empire’s plans. “The good news?”
“They’ve tasked me with hunting down this ‘pathetic rebel spy,’” Skywalker says, humor in his voice. “That should buy me some time.”
Leia can’t quite stop the snort she lets out. “Seriously?”
“Yep. You’re speaking to a professional mole-hunter, here.”
“Well congratulations on the promotion, Skywalker.”
“Thank you,” he says grandly. Then, quieter, “It won’t last, Princess. They’ll find out eventually.”
“I know. Just hang in there, it will be over soon.”
“Will it?” He asks, suddenly sounding very young. She realizes that she has no idea how old he is. She doesn’t know anything about the man who has saved them more times than she cared to admit, and the idea rattles her until they sign off.
Later, she looks up the name Skywalker in their archives. There are a few results, but only one sticks out.
Anakin Skywalker, Jedi Knight and hero of the Clone Wars. Killed at the hands of Darth Vader. There are gossip articles too, speculations on his relationship with the pregnant Senator Padmé Amidala, who died around the same time Skywalker did. The baby, it seems, died with her.
Unless he didn’t.
It’s ridiculous. It’s impossible. The idea is so ludicrous that Leia almost rejects it entirely.
But it makes sense. By the Maker, it makes sense.
The child of Anakin Skywalker, it seems, would be a powerful Force user indeed. Powerful enough for Kenobi to take the baby and run. Powerful enough for the Emperor to want him for his own gain. Powerful enough to send Vader after Kenobi and take the boy himself.
Maybe even powerful enough to shield his mind from Vader and Palpatine’s intrusions.
Powerful enough to hide the fact that he’s a spy.
Leia sinks into her chair, covering her face as she laughs.
Maybe Luke isn’t so bad after all.
“No, no, no,” she mutters, digging through the smoking wreckage of the TIE fighter. “Don’t be dead, please don’t be dead.”
“Princess…” Han lays a hand on her shoulder that she immediately shrugs off.
“No, he’s not dead. He’s not. Luke!”
A faint cough answers her, and she’s so relieved to hear it she could cry. Behind her, Han starts bellowing for a medic and, “Some damn help here, do you expect us to move all this ourselves?”
“Luke, it’s me,” she sobs. “It’s Leia. You’re at the Rebel Base. You’re safe.”
More coughing, and there’s a worrying rasp to his voice when he says, “You know…my name?”
“I figured it out.”
“Smart.” This time, the coughing is so bad Leia and Han both wince.
“Shit, kid,” Han says, moving another piece of rubble. “Don’t talk. We’re gonna get you out of here, all right?”
“Stand back,” Luke chokes out.
“What?”
“Stand back. Please.”
Han protests, but something in Leia knows they should listen to him. She drags him back, and motions everyone else to fall back with them. They do, albeit reluctantly.
“Clear,” she calls, hoping Luke can hear her.
The TIE explodes.
“Fuck!” Han goes back in, Leia on his heels with the terrifying feeling that she’d just allowed Luke to die, before they both stop in their tracks. Around them, the broken pieces of the TIE are floating.
And curled up in the middle is a man dressed all in white.
“Luke!” She pushes past Han to start dragging him out, and after another moment of staring around them, he helps her.
As soon as they get clear, the pieces fall to the ground with a clatter. Luke falls limp with them.
Han is still looking at the TIE. “Can you do that?” He asks quietly.
Leia pauses her examination of the unconscious man in front of her to glare at him. “Is that what you’re most concerned with right now? Really?”
“Excuse me for asking, Princess!”
“It’s white,” Luke grumbles, pulling at his hospital gown bitterly. “I hate wearing white.”
“Should I be offended?”
He rolls his eyes. “Don’t even. You look great and you know it. I just feel like I never left.”
“Well,” she says gingerly. “I guess it’s a good thing you got sick of it. If we went around in matching outfits all the time, people might think we’re twins.”
He snorts. “Yeah, right.”
#star wars#star wars fanfiction#luke skywalker#han solo#leia organa#imperial luke skywalker#exactly when luke was taken by the empire is totally up to speculation it could honestly be anywhere from newborn to 5#as for why luke has his dad’s blue lightsaber here instead of like a red one or smth- well you see your honor I thought it would be a slay#but also when you think about it for more than 5 seconds you’re like actually yeah that’s sick and twisted of palpatine and vader actually#you’re carrying your fathers most treasured weapon#you don’t know your father once fought the rise of the very empire you stand to inherit with that blade. you don’t know who he defended#you don’t know your father brought about the end of the republic with that same weapon#he killed the younglings with it. he fought his closest companion with it#you’re carrying what was once your fathers most treasured weapon. you are your fathers most treasured weapon#just as your father is a weapon now#also I didn’t make it clear but obi-wan has his ‘strike me down and I become stronger’ moment like he still dies on purpose to cause proble#but when he saw luke he couldn’t look away. he had to see him with living eyes one last time#can u tell I had So Many Thoughts on everyone else’s perspective in this fic too#han is having a constant crisis in the background because 1) force is real 2) princess is annoying AND pretty which sucks for him#in particular and 3) pretty princess is learning to use the force and is hot while doing it. Chewie is laughing at him. life is hell#good lord did not mean to put an entire essay in the tags. i love their super special twin powers (cosmic entity that binds their souls)#edit: GUYS I FORGOT TO NAME THE FUCKING AU#AND WHEN I TRY AND FIX IT IT GLITCHES OUT ON MEEE 😭😭😭
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mythalism · 1 month
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what if we have no choice but to bring down the veil ourselves to free solas from his fade prison + freeing solas from his prison is the only way to defeat the evanuris
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stardust-sunset · 19 days
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being so completely honest when i say this, but if you have a job, you should be showing up. it’s fine to call out every once in a while, but if you’re going two and half months hardly doing the full 8 show week because your role is “just so taxing” then you either find a way to make it sustainable or you take accountability and say that you need an alternate because you can’t do the show 8 times a week. everyone in the show has called out but no one has called out as much as brody has and in a professional theatre environment, you have to be a professional, take accountability for your actions, and respect the production, which includes showing up for your job. when jordan fisher was in dear evan hansen and sweeney todd, he called out all the time and guess what? when he got to hadestown he got his act together because he didn’t want poor attendance to be a part of his reputation. it doesn’t matter how talented brody is, if he’s gonna be in a broadway show, he needs to show up and take accountability for his actions.
okay? i don’t think it’s his call to make trevor an alternate. and agan, what’s with the sudden influx of brody hate in my inbox? yall know im a fan of him. of the musical. why do you send me shit like this? and what do you mean “he held accountable for his actions”? what actions are so dire that he has to “be held accountable” for? listening to his body? knowing that if his body says he can’t do a show then he can’t do a show? and he’s been in the show for a good fifteen productions in a row and he took one break and did another fifteen days or so. i’d say a break is well deserved. and plenty of actors take breaks. just because he happens to call out more doesn’t mean anything. and may i remind you that he’s being thrown around, he’s doing this all on the equivalent of an obstacle course, he does a while fight in the rain scene, the fire stunt, the dancing, the taxing of his voice is a lot. So yeah. I’d expect him to be out more and again, HIS ABSENCES ARE NO ONES BUSINESS! I don’t know why people only hold Brody to gunpoint over being absent like yeah, i get he calls out more, but he doesn’t make the call about an alternate. That’s out of his control. To even insinuate that is beyond idiotic.
And him and Jordan are completely different people. To compare them is unfair. and we don’t know if the reason Jordan is taking less absences is because he e”doesn’t want that in his record”-like honestly? Ponyboy is a much more taxing role than Orpheus because Orpheus at least has some downtime and while there is a lot more dancing in Hadestown, there’s also a lot more physical action in the rumble and the fire stunt and the rain sequence and whatnot.
i don’t know what it is with anons in my inbox and thinking they’re entitled to say what brody is doing in taking breaks when needed is wrong. you don’t know why he’s out and it’s not your business why he’s out. everyone is entitled to their off days. try playing pony boy for an eight week show and then you can talk shit. he’s allowed to take breaks and the fact you’re insinuating he can’t makes me believe you’re just being an entitled prick. he could very well be sick or just taking a well deserved break. and the whole “being held accountable” thing is bullshit. he’s not doing anything wrong in putting his own needs first. if he feels he can’t do the show at 100% then he can’t do the show. and i commend him for that.
idk what it is with all these people staying on anon either like if you can’t even say this without needing anonymity to cover your tracks you shouldn’t be sending this to me.
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boy in silly sitting positions compilation
#cats#I especially like the last one where he just has one single paw poking out of that box for some reason lol#I still have costumes to post and like a billion other things.... grr... constantly failing at staying active on social media aughh#I think because currently my Main Focus is on trying to get my game done and stuff.. which basically just means sitting and writing all day#so there's not much to post about. Though I know the Good At Social Media thing to do would be to post about the#writing and share progress and talk about the game and characters or whatever to try to build interest or something but that is SOOO weird#to me.. I could maybe get it if it was like a tiny tiny discord groupchat of playtesters with like 5 people in#it.. But something about talking openly about things before they happen is weird to me?? Like presumptuous feeling or something#''oooo guess whats gonna happen LATER!!!'' like.. how do you know.. what if it doesnt. what if you dont finish it. what if its not the way#you think it's going to be. what if something changes. etc. Like I literally avoid movie trailers and game trailers for the same reason ghj#Even if it's not ME doing it it just feels... weird.. Maybe it has to do with my OCD and how I just don't like talking about ''future''#things in Certain Terms. Like if I was going to say ''Oh yeah sure. come over to my house in a few months''. I would have to follow it up#with like ''HOPEFULLY you can come over to my house in a few months'' or 'They'll come over in a few months MOST LIKELY''. Because just#stating that something will happen matter of factly takes for granted like.. what if somehting horrible happens and I DONT have a house#in a few months? or what if something bad happens to me. or to the person coming over? I can't ever DEFINITELY say with 100% certainty#that one could ACTUALLY come to my house in a few months. anything could change. So I have to allot for that in my phrasing. hbjjkn#There are a lot of situations where you're expected to just Assume Things but for some reason that bothers me. My brain literally does not#even Assume the most basic things.. like how do *I* know that just because it's someones birthday that they want to be wished a happy#birthday? what if they dont? everyone is different and has different preferences. I should check with them first. or wait until they public#ly announce that theyre accepting birthday wishes. I have to allot for all 5034859069 rare possibilities at any given time and never take#anything for certain. etc. ghjbjhbh.... ANYWAY.. I have been feeling a bit sick lately as usual.. but still slowly making progress on some#things. Moslty I need to edit costume photos. make sculptures. and work on the game. Going back reading some of the old writing from like#2018 and suprisingly I don't have to change that much of it? In fact I like it mostly. so that's good. I would be very interested if I were#playing the game myself. Though that doesnt mean much since my tastes are so niche lol..#Still really want to clear some of my million tumblr drafts as well... alas and aughh and ooughh and so on and so forth. Between all of my#evil appointments other such things...why cant I have one billion dollar to retire into relaxed hermit artist life of no stressors.. bleas
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grocerystoreanxiety · 14 days
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Being a hater towards the ed today, shit’s super fucking dumb. What am I planning to achieve with this???? Literally like it doesn’t even go the way your ed-brain wants you to think, like you get to ur ugw and suddenly everyone is jealous & wants to look lik you. Like nah, you’ll just get pity & weird looks from strangers bc everyone can see you’re not doing well and they’ll treat you as if you’re dumber than you are (the infantilization of ed ppl is so real out there (whole another topic but in short: I hate it)), what the actual fuck am I doing this for ?????
#like I already have issues with ’’ppl don’t take me serious bc i’m a woman in stem’’-disease and like pair that up with looking#non-adult?? like that’s fucking not it#and obv my brain doesn't work the way it should when I'm restricting and that's the only thing I need truly#like I used to be smart and able to focus well and all that why tf would I take away the only thing I have going for me#but I also don't want to fucking stop so like goddamnit & fuck I can feel my brain melting a lil bit more each day <3#and I keep thinking like some weeks ago there was a clearly sick/anorexic (skinny like very much so) person out and it wasn't the ''everyon#started to look in envy as they elegantly daintily made their way past'' like it was ppl giving pitiful looks and that fucking sucks but#that's just the reality bc no one ever minds their own business#I remember in my lw (was like bmi 16) my coworkers still kept giving me that same look and the ''r u okay''s like it's not all#fun and games like you'd think it is; good for internet but not sure how it'd work in everyday ''trying to pretend to be a real life#adult who has their shit together''-way; it waters that pretension down quite a bit and I can't afford that; I'm already scrambling#so like could I stop thinking abt going to the seriously underweight bmi; a lil bit is fine bc some ppl just look like that but like ugh#i don't even know what the point is; I'm just mad at myself here like why did I get myself into this like I can't seem to get out#bc I want to but I rly don't;#I want to get worse and that fucks me up like wHY when I know I also don't want to like jesus christ ppl weren't kidding abt it feeling lik#ur brain has two diff sides fighting all the time#i hate this with all my might today yay and ironically enough I'm going to starve abt it <3 logic !!!! we love it !!!!!!!!!#this too should stay as a draft but alas send post
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tj-crochets · 9 months
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Hey y'all, weird question time again, this time for people without POTS or other tachycardia-causing health issues. I know my heart rate is higher than it should be a lot of the time, but I can't find comparison data for not-tachycardia peoples' heart rates at any point except resting and like target rate when exercising, so my questions are these: 1. What's your heart rate when you stand up? 2. Does your heart rate go up noticeably when you are sick? There's presumably a whole spectrum of non-tachycardia heart rates at points between resting and high intensity exercise, but I have not been able to find any comparison points in between those extremes at all
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skrunksthatwunk · 5 months
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why the fuck did i write about birds this fucking sucks. i just found out birds only sleep for a few minutes at a time, hundreds of times a day. do you know what this is going to do to my structure? the logistics of their road trip? this is already like three days late and i've been fighting for my life to get A Plot Like Any Plot That Makes Sense out and now the birds fucking sleep for 5 minutes at a time.
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#i should've just bailed and written another story when i had the chance#i'm not joking i've never fought a fiction piece this hard before. usually because i'm not writing for specific deadlines#and not a piece so big. and not one that's gonna be workshopped. i wanna blow them away but if things keep going the way they are everyone'#gonna tell me the pacing sucks and it feels pointless and the characters feel really confused. I KNOW. I KNOW THAT. FUCKK#i'm the type to do about 15 passes before i let someone see my 'first draft' and i'm just not gonna be able to do that if i want to get it#in time for a workshop. every day i delay is making things harder for my classmates y'know?? but i've been writing like 1k words a day#and it's still not done. GUHH#I DON'T LIKE WRITING THESE CHARACTERS THAT MUCH THEY'RE NOT FUNNY OR ENDEARING AND THAT'S MY LIKE.#MAIN SKILL AND VIBE WITH SHORT STORY DUOS. BUT NOOOO I HAD TO MAKE THEM DIFFERENT CUZ I WAS SICK OF DOING#THE SAME DYNAMIC OVER AND OVER. BITCH THIS IS YOUR FINAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! TRIED AND TRUE GETS THE BLUE (RIBBON)!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#head in my hands head in my hands head in my hands head in my hands head#going to work on it some more. fuckk#the voices aren't consistent and i'm trying to make it clear that this is toxic bird yuri and not a mother/daughter thing but the maternal#themes are kind of fucking with that but they're important and i don't wanna get rid of them but it feels forced cuz im forcing it#sigh. i'm gonna have to cut the yuri. these two don't work romantically at all. what a waste of time.#i watched the entirety of mnthly girls' nozaki-kun in the past two days while avoiding writing. did you know that? the lengths to which i'l#go? anyway it was fun i appreciate fellow creative agony and i uh never knew how they did screen tones and wasn't expecting that somehow#so i learned something new (hooray). anyway back to. fucking. bird story stuff#i'm so mad i hate these two (<- lying. just pissy) i hate this story (<- mostly exaggerating. throwing a tantrum)#eughhhhhh i just wanna lie on the floor and cryyyyyyyyyy (<- completely deadpan irl. not That upset just kind of sick of shit)#i'm so burnt out and it's only gonna get worse. ughh#why can't someone just come in and write it for meeeeeeeeeeheheuhhh (<- would hate that)
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