#WHY WOULD THEY LET THE PORNBOTS DO THIS SHIT

[xxstar-bluesxx]

TUMBLR FOR FUCK SAKES! CAN YOU PLEASE HELP PEOPLE FROM BEING VICTIMS OF PORNBOTS?!

[transmascfrankiero]

all of mcr’s songs ranked out of ten based on whether or not you can strip to them:

romance: could work if you were going for a Super Melancholy smiths-esque vibe but overall too slow and pretty. 1/10

honey: headbanger soundtrack to showcase your revenge body to ur ex. bonus points for underlying ‘gonna murder shitty boyfriend’ context thanks to audition-inspired video. but slightly too angry to be seductive. 5/10

vampires: too goth, too many feelings. reminds me of pot dreads frank. would not work. 0/10

drowning lessons: this song is cursed and cannot be listened to in public unfortunately 0/10

sorrows: if u were going to do a strip routine while beating the shit out of someone for trying to stealing ur tip money this would be a gr8 choice 6/10

halos: it’s about blowing your own head off and taking too many pills to cope w/ wanting to die all the time. 0/10

turnstiles: please do not!!! strip!!! to a song!!! about 9/11!!!! what is wrong w/ you!!! -100000000/10

monroeville: if u were doing a private lil strip dance for your george a. romero-obsessed s.o. where u both cry over the idea of having to kill the other person b/c they turned into a zombie then sure??? but other than that no. .5/10

best day ever: ehhhhhh. too fast. kinda weird to get sexy to unless u have a hospital kink. 0/10

cubicles: wow the thought of doing a strip routine to a song about pining for ur coworker who doesn’t know u exist is too sad to even joke about -20/10

demolition lovers: it’s a long song but it’s got cool tempo changes for variety and if u got the stamina then go for it. 4/10

helena: so, like, i get it. it’s a bop. u could dance to this beat for sure. the costumes and color scheme from the video make for gr8 stage pictures and the dancing corpse lady is v pretty. i could understand why if u were doing an emo strip routine u would want to use helena. but please for the love of all that is holy do NOT strip to a song gerard way wrote about his dead grandmother okay i am BEGGING you -∞/10

give ‘em hell kid: FUCK YEAH YOU LOOK PRETTY WALKIN DOWN THE STREET IN THE BEST DAMN DRESS U OWN. 10/10

to the end: this would be a hilarious choice for a bachelor party ngl 7/10 for that alone

prison: absolutely you could strip to this song but u gotta COMMIT okay u gotta light something on fire onstage and challenge gender norms while screaming your head off 8/10 but only if ur not a coward

i’m not okay: it’s a bop, but can u strip to it? no. 0/10

ghost of you: mikey way did not die on a beach in fake normandy for u to strip to ghost of you. seek help -5/10

jetset life: dude this song like. actually works??? for a strip routine??? so long as you don’t actually listen to the words, from a musical perspective, u could totally strip to this 10/10

interlude: what kinda weird catholic shame kink do u need to have to strip to this song. also it’s too short and too pretty. -5/10 (unless ur into catholic shame idk)

venom: this would require such a high energy routine but if u can make being sweaty work then this is a gr8 choice 7/10

hang ‘em high: this is a BATSHIT INSANE choice for a strip routine but if u want to do it then PLEASE do. i like ur style. 8/10

deathwish: u can strip to this only if u introduce ur routine by dedicating it to everyone who ever said eyeliner on dudes was gay. 5/10

cemetery drive: i think not. 0/10

never told you: if u are a highly theatrical highly murderous stripper then yes definitely 7/10

desert song: this song is Way Too Beautiful to strip to sorry you can’t have it -300/10

the end.: the only sexy thing about this song is how good gerard’s voice sounds so no. 0/10

dead!: this is a bold fucking choice but u have to play your cards just right. high risk high reward but SO much to potentially get wrong 6/10

how i disappear: u could. but why. 2/10

sharpest lives: holy SHIT yes ABSOLUTELY u should strip to sharpest lives. the drama. the beat. the spy rock guitar that frank accidentally nailed. this is one of THE choicest options from their catalog. why aren’t u stripping to this right now 50000000/10

wttbp: cute idea but don’t actually 0/10

i don’t love you: again, a bold fucking choice. u could strip to this in an edgy, meta sort of way but it’s missing the trashy factor so it’d have to be part performance art and part strip routine. if ur into that then totally 5/10

house of wolves: i mean i would pay money to see someone strip to this song so 7/10

cancer: LMAO YIKES -2000000/10

mama: this would be GLORIOUS if u fully embraced the sheer insanity and went Bonkers in Fuckin Zonkers burlesque-show-in-hell w/ it. 100/10 but u gotta pound the floor wailing at some point

sleep: i’m conflicted on this one like on the one hand it’s a good tempo for stripping but on the other hand it’s a song about being cruel to ur loved ones in order to force distance between u and them b/c you’re terrified of them getting hurt and it being all your fault. so maybe don’t strip to this one actually 0/10

teenagers: a bop w/ a great beat and fun costume ideas from the video but two major drawbacks being 1. ur getting naked to a song about teenagers which is uhhhh sort of Inappropriate and 2. it’s kind of also about school shooters which is also Inappropriate to get naked to. 0/10

disenchanted: why would u want this. you sad fuck. idek what to say except if you want to strip to this song i’m crying on your behalf -100000000/10

famous last words: don’t????? don’t. Do Not. stop that. -12/10

blood: this is HILARIOUS omg please strip to blood 10/10

kill all your friends: sure?? no objections but it’s an odd choice. this goes for the demo too. 2/10

heaven help us: if u want to strip to this then you definitely just read unholyverse for the first time and while u are valid, Don’t 0/10

my way home is through you: not an especially sexy song but it’s fun!! you do you 3/10

astro zombies (cover): uhhhhhh it’s a no from me dawg. i’d be thinking about danzig, like, the whole time. 0/10

desolation row: sure but u gotta be willing to get punched in the face by the riot squad for maximum effect 4/10

common people (cover): just b/c gerard would strip to britpop doesn’t mean u can. 0/10

emily: NO!!!! -50000/10

party at the end of the world: nah. 0/10

not that kind of girl: literally please consider the subject matter of this song and rethink ur life choices. -10/10

all the angels: it’s a cool song but don’t strip to it that’s weird -2/10

jack the ripper: you and the person who wants to strip to astro zombies can go sit in the suicidegirls corner together how about that. 0/10

na na na: a banger!! strip away my friend 9/10

bulletproof heart: a good song but not a strip song 1/10

sing: sorry this song is [REDACTED] it gets no score

planetary (go!): you could try to strip to this but it’s such a classic four-on-the-floor that i think you’d end up just regular dancing to it and forget to be sexy so 4/10

the only hope for me is you: are you doing a strip tease for michael bay. stop. put ur shirt back on shia lebeouf 0/10

party poison: like this is a hilarious option and i support you but realistically it’s pretty fast for a strip song 3/10

save yourself, i’ll hold them back: this is a safe option. Too Safe. almost soulless. a person who’d strip to this would avoid eye contact the entire time and never smile and later when you went out for a smoke break you’d overhear them on the phone with their ex arguing over child support payments. 4/10

s/c/a/r/e/c/r/o/w: the more i think about it the more fun the idea of stripping to this becomes so i say go for it 6/10

summertime: i’m Certain that gerard would prefer if you didn’t -5/10

destroya: is this objectively the best mcr song to strip to? Absolutely. it’s got everything you could possibly want right down to built-in moans and fever dream drums. but the only person in the universe who Can Must and Should strip to this song is gerard. sorry them’s the breaks. ∞/10 but only if you’re gerard way

kids from yesterday: don’t. 0/10

vampire money: 100% yes you should strip to this. bonus points for stealth twilight references 1000000/10

we don’t need another song about california: do i like this song? yes. is it sexy? no. 0/10

black dragon fighting society: i can’t understand what the FUCK gerard is saying in this song AT ALL so i can’t recommend that u strip to it b/c i have no fucking idea what it’s ABOUT 0/10

f.t.w.w.w.: i mean. this song is about eating pussy. and robots that are built specifically to fuck. so yes you can strip to this but you gotta dress up like a pornbot 100/10

mastas of ravencroft: again i cannot understand most of the fucking words and the ones i do understand are something something RICKETY BONES RICKETY HANDS so like. probably not the one 0/10

boy division: i could go either way on this one like it’s really fast but it’s also about cocaine so??? 3/10

tomorrow’s money: while this song slaps overall violent nihilism does not a strip song make 1/10

ambulance: no. 0/10

gun.: antiwar messages are sexy but not the right kind for stripping 1/10

the world is ugly: PLEASE no. 0/10

the light behind your eyes: oh my god this is so DEPRESSING why would you want to strip to this who hurt you -2000000/10

kiss the ring: yes yes yes it’s got built-in audience participation conceit factor if u let ur audience kiss ur ring, totally works 10/10

make room!!!: again, slaps, but not a strip song 1/10

surrender the night: dude we talked about this!!! dying violently w/ ur loved ones is Not Sexy!!! 0/10

burn bright: i guess you could strip to this but again it’s Too Safe tread carefully 3/10

fake your death: i want frank iero to strip to this song so i can throw tomatoes at him for being a LYING SACK OF SHIT FOR TWO YEARS i’m not gonna rate this one but frank if ur out there i have a basket of slightly squishy heirloom tomatoes and i am COMING FOR YOU

[nakey-cats-take-bathsss]

Tag Game! Tagged by one of my faves, the ever lovely @stealing-jasons-job

1. Why did you choose your url?

My username is so weird lol I get asked this all the time and I wish I had a better answer but I literally just love videos of those hairless cats taking baths. I also think the word nakey is really funny which pretty much tells you everything you need to know about me. I didn't plan on posting fic when I came up with this name and now I'm too attached to it to change it to something practical or more poetic.

2. Any side blogs?

None currently but there are some old ones lingering around...

Somewhere out in the universe is a hipster blog filled with poetry and short stories about boys who didn't like me back in high school but it is long lost and I have no idea what it is called. It is probably a repurposed to scam people into clicking RayBand Sunglasses links by now. There's also a really really old Dramione fic blog running around somewhere that I used when I wrote in the Harry Potter fandom.

No need to talk about my "fitness" blog that was basically thinly veiled orthorexia

3. How long have you been on tumblr?

I think since just before the height of the popularity so like 2010? I fell out of it with everyone else and was really pleasantly surprised to find that people are still hanging around here when I came back two years ago haha

4. Do you have a queue tag?

No. I'm highly impulsive and a terrible planner. If you see posts on here, I am here haha I don't have that kind of foresight.

5. Why did you start your blog in the first place?

Honestly I have no idea, I was having a tough time and wanted to write and the rest of this has just been a really happy accident.

6. Why did you choose your icon/pfp?

It's real cute isn't it?! It's so hard to find aesthetic faceless pics with brown skin so I had to take the opportunity. It's just so vibey, isn't it?

7. Why did you choose your header?

Yellow is such a joyful color!

8. What’s your post with the most notes?

I'm not very tech savvy I have no clue how to figure this out? It's probably a moodboard of some kind! I'm not big on text posts haha

9. How many mutuals do you have?

I have literally no clue. But I have made sooooo many truly incredible friends on here. I'm infinitely grateful for all of them. Y'all have become such a genuine source of joy and support in my life, I truly cannot express how much you mean to me.

10. How many followers do you have?

982 and I suspect a significant percent of those are porn link accounts and spam because at least one of those follows me a day. Idk what the point of follower counts on here is, but I love all of you, even the Pornbots. This account is also super old so some of them might be dead blogs too.

11. How many people do you follow?

589

and none of you are pornbots and I love y'all even more.

12. Have you ever made a shit post?

I've made crackposts?

13. How often do you use tumblr a day?

I notoriously hate my phone and I have this app that lets you grow a tree if you don't use your screen. It's very cute, I grew 5 peach trees today. But long story short, it's not super often, maybe once a day. I try to check notifications every day though because I do absolutely love interacting with y'all.

14. Did you ever have a fight/argument with another blog?

Hahahah I wish I was bold enough to do this because I've been tempted to do it more times than I can count but conflict makes me squirm and also cry. I do get intensely annoyed when I see tone-deaf discourse about mixed race people though so I'll always go to bat for that one.

I did lose my shit one time and tagged something as "nakeycats has fucking snapped" which haunts me in my tags to this day and makes me laugh now.

15. How do you feel about the ‘you need to reblog’ posts?

I get it. I mean, I'm not one to tell people what to do and I don't always love the tone it takes on but the general sentiment of it isn't unfounded. There has been a general shift away from reblogging even though it's the only way content gets traction on this site. From a content creation standpoint it's disheartening to put work out there and know that nobody is seeing it. So much love and work goes into writing and it really does suck sometimes. That said, people are going to do what they're going to do, it's not going to stop me from putting work out there.

16. Do you like tag games?

I adore tag games! I love everything about them! Every time I get tagged in one it's like "me? really?" and then I consider us to be besties haha.

17. Do you like ask games?

I really like them and I used to love doing them when we did BWC! Some of the games get hard to keep track of now but this was such a good way to meet people and I'm grateful for it. That said, I LOVE ASKS. If you ever need to vent or rant or tell a joke or chat or practice your emoji usage HMU I'm always down.

18. Which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous?

Is Tumblr famous still a thing? I would probably just tag my friends in this since they're all famous to me and I'm convinced a lot of them will be famous one day for writing or creating in some way ( @stealing-jasons-job and @queenemori specific point to you in particular)

I will give a special shout-out to @burninghoneyatdusk because I was a massive fan of her writing and then we became mutuals and I was like "omg!! the author of this fic love! A star is following me back!" haha so that was a fun moment when I was first dipping my toes in the fandom and it did feel like someone famous followed me. Also she is rad and very humble considering how talented she is.

19. Do you have a crush on a mutual?

I can't even bring myself to have a crush on someone in real life.

Plenty of friend crushes though.

20. No-pressure tags:

@elora-lane . @natassakar . @ninappon . @burninghoneyatdusk . @obviesbellarke . @queenemori . @franklyineedcoffee . @carrieeve . @infp-with-all-the-feelings and anyone else who wants to do it

[bastardsunlight]

My buddy over at @sxvethelastdance​ is doing some deep dive shit on the subject of Liu Kang’s faith in all his iterations—95, games, 2021—so I decided “hey why don’t I do that too?” because I also desire to be one of The Cool Kids™. This is in no way meant to be taken as gospel truth or whatever. It’s mostly for me own records, headcanons-wise, and just kind of a character-building exercise since Lao has become one of my more active/sought-after muses of late. I’ll hide it under a cut because it’s liable to get long

Like my S C H L O N G [cue pornbot invasion]

PS THIS IS GOING TO BE ABOUT MORE THAN JUST HIS FAITH BECAUSE A LOT OF THAT WILL COME FROM UPBRINGING/FAMILY AND WILL ALSO FOCUS ON HIS PERSONALITY AND THE INS/OUTS OF IT

For our purposes (and like, in reality because I DO respect authorial intent to some extent), Shaolin Monks isn’t canon, like at all. Someone had a fever dream and Liu Kang/Kung Lao were bimbos for a few hours. Okay they’re still kind of like that, god bless ‘em, but you get the idea. AIGHT now that’s out the way, let’s get this cue ball rolling.

Okay for starters, games Lao because well he’s only ever appeared in the games (and we don’t usually talk about Legacy Because OOF middle-aged Liu Kang with a hot topic sweater and anger issues—Liu Kangst. You’re welcome [plays a high G on the nearest piano]).

Kung Lao comes from a long, distinguished family who has always contributed to the order of light—they’re founding members, all that stuff. They did not build the academy itself, but the Order started with the Great Kung Lao. OUR Kung Lao is the fulfillment of a prophecy, some vague old thing that told of an ancestor who would carry the “spirit of the Great Kung Lao”. They figure reincarnation, which is a reasonable assumption. If that’s true or not, only Fire God Liu Kang and Lord Raiden know, because they’re the only ones to have met him in person. Whatever the case, Kung Lao is born with the ability to call spirits and channel their energy, their “pressure” to do a variety of things, including teleport, an ability that thankfully did not come until later—can you imagine a teleporting toddler? Good god.

The entire Kung line is blessed with some spiritual power, here and there. Kung Lao is off the charts. His mother, a short time before his birth, has a dream where the GKL came to her and said “this is the one”. He is reaching out to his ancestor from the Realm of the Honored Dead, knowing full well that the once-a-generation tournament is not far off and feeling the pull to Lao like some kind of magnet or doorway. Kung Lao is the strongest spirit-channeler the Kung family has ever seen. His parents therefore name him Lao and with the name comes a great and terrible burden.

He is, naturally, chosen as the generational tithe to the Wu-Shi academy and, naturally, the Order of Light. This is a case of being raised in the faith, knowing little else, but being sharp enough to question some things. Obviously, as a kid, he doesn’t question—he just learns and obeys, trains under various masters, etc. Sometime during his younger years, an orphan shows up at the temple and, being a charitable organization, the elders of the temple take him in and name the boy Liu Kang. Liu and Lao become fast friends and the elders are, of course, pleased as  punch to see the Kung’s legacy being a good influence on someone like Liu Kang who, unbeknownst to anyone but them (and Raiden), is the blood of Onaga and in possession of a terrible power himself. It does not occur to them that Lao will not be chosen by the god of thunder to be Earthrealm’s champion. Everyone at the academy trains for this purpose, but in THIS generation, no one even questions that it will be Lao.

Kung Lao is extremely gifted, rarely has to study, hardly tries on all exams and new techniques and masters the strange and deadly weapon that is his signature with relatively few injuries. Combining that with his abilities to move spiritual force and teleport and he is a shoe-in. His faith in the Elder Gods is more of a background hum, at this point and, though he has met Lord Raiden, his faith there, too, is hardly a thought. It’s just part of his life. As anyone who grows up in a faith could tell you, the routines become like breathing.

Liu Kang and Kung Lao grow side-by-side as best friends, confidants, troublemakers (though Lao is absolutely the one cutting class), and, as they grow older and into themselves, lovers.

The first time Kung Lao’s faith comes to the forefront and really shakes is when Lord Raiden choses Liu Kang to be his champion for Mortal Kombat. There is the initial shock, of course, and then there is fear. Mortal Kombat has killed very Earthrealm champion, without exception, since the Great Kung Lao’s second attempt. The legends of Prince Goro are written in the forbidden texts of the academy’s library and naturally, the shaolin rowdy boys have broken in and read them all. Kung Lao meditates for hours, wondering what he did wrong. He is never, at any point, resentful toward Liu Kang himself, who has always been an unfailingly loyal friend, a humble monk, an excellent student, and has, with hard work and perseverance, excelled in HIS classes as well.

The more he considers it, the more his faith in the Elder Gods is shaken—if it was ever terribly solid in the first place. More than that, he begins to mistrust Raiden. Kung Lao determines that, due to the hopelessness of the situation, the likelihood of Liu Kang’s return is almost zero. He has all the faith in the world in how strong Liu Kang is, of course, but those odds are not good. He begins to deeply resent the idea that Liu was chosen as a lamb for slaughter based on factors other than likelihood to win. This is also when the insecurity starts to REALLY set in.

Kung Lao doesn’t realize that Liu Kang views him as equal or superior, seeing how he has never had to study or work at ANYTHING to just nail whatever it is, every time. Kung Lao is one of those young adults who was a child prodigy and is experiencing some SERIOUS burnout in his early twenties. It isn’t that Kung Lao doesn’t know he’s good—he’s very aware of his skill. It comes out as brazen arrogance. No one but Liu Kang can seem to knock him down ANY pegs. His faith, he realizes, has always been in himself and in Liu, in what they’ve built and shared. There is a depth of intimacy in that friendship that goes beyond even the physical—though there IS that.

He’s kind of in the mode of “what have the Elder Gods ever done for me?” (spoiler alert: nothing) and he questions Raiden’s motivations as he slowly adds shit up. Liu Kang is an orphan, of no family, with great power. He doesn’t know if there’s something else to it, but he sees the reactions of the elders of the temple when Raiden chooses Liu and it isn’t “weird that you didn’t choose the kid we groomed from birth to do this” but an almost insane level of like, understanding, as if this was a possible outcome. There is something else up, but he has no way of knowing it. He hates the way Liu just accepts it and while they are still capable of making jokes about the whole situation, he can sense the turmoil within Liu, as well, who is ALSO wondering why Lao wasn’t chosen.

Kung Lao is now the black sheep, the family failure, the one who was beaten out by an orphan. This really begins his “second banana” status and everyone seems to know it. They equate his brash pride to insecurity, which in a way it is, because part of him will always wonder what he did wrong, but they did not know him before. It goes from being part of his personality to being a shield. If he is arrogant and aloof, untouchable, no one will see the doubt and trepidation within. And STILL the Elder Gods do NOTHING. When he sneaks into the tournament, he’s taking matters into his own hands, where he is convinced they have always been.

See, he had been okay with dying for Earthrealm, though he was certain with this power, he wouldn’t—that he could save the place like the ancestor for which he was named. He is not ready to lose Liu Kang.

Aight so caveat here, most of this above was built with a VERY specific Liu Kang in mind and below is 100% riding on that same writer (heh riding). None of this has to, in any way, reflect on anyone else’s Liu Kang—not that I’ve seen a ton of those.

MK2021 for all its faults, had amazing characterization for the heroes, even if some of the cuts, scenes, and lines were a bit ……. Clunky. Kung Lao is clearly a powerful fighter, confident to the point of arrogance, but with the skill to back it up. Even when Cole puts him in the dirt, he hops back up and summons his hat, like “okay cool, now let’s get real” because Kombat is not like a cage fight. This is a man who knows few limitations, is highly skilled, and has clearly been raised in the faith, much like his counterpart from the games. His Arcana is passed through his bloodline, much like that of the Hasashi clan and a few others who have passed out of living memory, likely done in by previous Outworld assassination coups.

The biggest difference between games and 2021 Lao is that the latter is a man who demands proof at every turn, by force if necessary, AND HE IS AWARE OF THIS. His faith rests not in the Elder Gods—not caring much for them or their lack of involvement—but in Raiden himself and only then because he has challenged the god of thunder and was put down pretty soundly. Kung Lao respects ability. He has it, so he therefore expects everyone around him to hold themselves to that same standard.

He is two or three years older than Kang, the young orphan Master Bo’ Rai Cho brought to the temple when they are still children, probably six and nine, give or take. They have no classes together, initially, but Kung Lao ss instructed to keep an eye on him, to help him adjust. The two become fast friends and Liu Kang admires the bejeezus out of his shi xiong, both because of that age difference and the obvious experience gap, and because Kung Lao will ALWAYS go to bat for him.

Kung Lao is well aware of the stakes of this tournament, knows that it is, for the most part, riding on him. This becomes doubly true when Sub-Zero is sent to Earthrealm to start taking out the other champions, one by one, to halt a prophecy. Someone carrying Hasashi blood will upset the balance of the tournament.

He is a dutiful monk, a competent teacher, a powerful fighter, and, alongside Liu Kang, the best hope humanity has for victory. Kung Lao’s resentment, in this universe, is directed primarily toward the elders who sent Kang out into the world after his graduation from the academy as a student (as must all students, some with specific orders, and some with more vague directions) to find his true path. The elders have essentially forced Kang to relive the darkest time in his life and thence, to feel the rage and resentment that has for so long boiled beneath his skin, channeling it into a killing urge. Kung Lao protects Liu Kang from this as best he can and, more than that, he protects the world from Liu Kang.

[jupitermelichios]

So I decided to rewatch Suicide Squad and I have some thoughts...

This isn’t really a review so much as it’s just a series of thoughts and impressions. I will say that while it’s still one of the worst made films I’ve ever seen, it’s never boring, which is by far the biggest sin a film can commit. It’s bullshit but it’s consistently interesting bullshit which makes it better than something like Fant4stic, which is as bad and incoherant but also just incredibly dull. I don’t think this could ever have been a good film, there was too much massively wrong with it before shooting even started to have been salvagable, but I do think it could have been a lot more coherant if it hadn’t been for the reshoots, re-edits, re-edits of re-edits and all the the other stuff that happened to it post production. Unlike something like BvS, I get why some people liked this one.

On that note, while I am going to end on a few possitives this basically a roast so if you don’t want to read about a film getting picked apart, this probably won’t be your jam. But if like me you find critiques of bad movies cathartic, read on. I’m not the first person to do this, but I’ve spotted some stuff I haven’t seen anyone else talk about so hopefully there’ll be something new for you.

All the dialogue is just slightly off in a way that’s hard to pin down, in the way that a lot of comprehensible stuff written by computers and neural networks is just slightly off. It’s got that phishing email or pornbot quality to it. Literally the fourth or fifth line in the film is Griggs saying about the prison rations, “...Everything a growing young man needs like you”, which isn’t nonsense, but is clearly wrong, and a lot of the lines have that quality to them.

In a similar vein, Deadshot’s daughter is written like she’s five or six, but the actress looks about twelve. I actually went and checked how old she was when this released, because I know white people are often wildly bad at judging the ages of black kids and I’m bad at judging ages in general, but no, she was 12 or 13 when this was shot, so why’s she written like a toddler? She doesn’t give a good performance (which is not the actresses fault, Will Smith barely gives a good performance in this and he can do this shit in his sleep, there’s no way a kid could have risen above the terrible script and direction) which makes it even worse, because you’ve got this pre-teen delivering dialogue written for a kindergardener in a way that feel like it’s maybe the first time she’s ever seen the script, and it makes what is otherwise one of the most competant scenes in the movie feel just as off as everything else.

The Joker. A lot of people have written a lot about Leto’s Joker but I want to add two things to the discussion I haven’t seen talked about much before. Firstly, before the electro-shock torture and acid bath, he and Harley have no romance. Like, explicitly, there is no romance, or even cammeraderie there. He’s her patient. She’s his jailer. He didn’t seduce her, he just tortured her until she gave in. That’s literally shown in the film. Even after the torture when she’s now on side he still really doesn’t like her, and not in a Paul Dini BTAS he doesn’t like her but he also wants her around kind of way. He doesn’t want her in his life. He orders her to leave him alone and she fucking stalks him. That’s not even subtext, she is specifically his stalker, because apparently the solution to the relationship being abusive was to retconn Harley into also being a creep as though that somehow solves something.

Secondly, Joker isn’t smart. Not only is he no longer emotionally intelligent (and comics Joker is many terrible things but he’s probably the most emotionally intelligent character in DC, that’s a lot of what makes him so dangerous because it’s how he manipulates people) he’s not intelligent full stop. His great plan for breaking out of Arkham? Some of his goons from the outside literally just shoot their way in to get to him. Even leaving aside the fact that Arkham apparently isn’t set up to deal with that kind of violence in this world despite Batman having been opperating for a decade, that’s not a clever plan, and it’s not Joker’s plan. 'Hope some of my dudes are loyal enough to come get me’ isn’t any kind of escape plan, and nothing we see after that point suggests that this was a moment of weakness. Joker just straight up isn’t very bright in this, which is weird because that’s one of the few genuinely consistent character traits he has. He’s no Riddler, sure, but he’s really smart and that makes him hard to contain.

Ayer made Harley functionally a sex worker in this, and it doesn’t actually matter that there’s absolutely nothing wrong with sex work or that sex work is real work, because David Ayer definitely thinks there is, and also really really hates women. David Ayer hates women so goddamn much. The only thing Slipknot does in the entire film apart from die is hit a woman just for being a woman.

When Waller arrives at Belle Reve, Croc is doing push ups. And that’s fine, it’s a classic movie shorthand for ‘bored prisoner is also fit and strong’, but the actor isn’t actually doing pushups. He’s got one knee tucked under his body to support his weight, and is clearly actually just sort of bobbing his head. What I suspect happened is that the prosthetics on his arms and chest were too heavy to allow that kind of movement, which would tie up with the stiff way he holds his arms throughout the film, but he’s not even bothering to pretend very hard and it adds to this pervading sense of off-kilter wrongness the film has.

Rick Flagg is supposed to be ‘the best special forces opperative this country has’, but he’s... really bad? He’s no use in any of the fights, he’s incapable of working with a team and has zero interpersonal skills, and when he’s assigned to be a bodyguard, he immediately starts fucking his client which is like, bodyguarding rule 1. He’s really bad at his job. (Which would be fine if the explanation was that he’s a fucking psychopath who’s 100% willing to just murder a civilian in the line of duty, but he’s meant to be Hannibal Smith more than Dirty Harry, and also if he is here because he’s a psychopath, why did Amanda Waller assume June Moon would be into that?!) He even has to be blackmailed into joining the opperation, so he’s incompetent, unprofessional, causes unecessary conflict, and isn’t even loyal to the project, so why him and not, I don’t know, literally any other character?

On the subject of June Moon, she goes (alone) on an archeological dig in a rainforest somewhere, finds a cave full of human remains and ancient artefacts, and literally her first action is to deliberately smash one of the artefacts, presumably just to see what would happen? IDK! We never get any explanation for that, but it’s definitely meant to be deliberate and not accidental when she smashes it! Why are archeologists in movies all so terrible?!

People have joked a lot about the fact that the movie changes the purpose of the squad from ‘plausibly deniable black ops, especially on American soil’, to ‘punching Superman’ but kept Captain Boomerang on the team, but there is actually an explanation given. A really really stupid explanation. Amanda Waller says that he’s there because ‘he faced down a metahuman and survived’, referring to him surviving being arrested. By the Flash. Who is famously non violent, and in fact in the next film in the series specifically says he’s never fought someone. So Boomer is on the team because he didn’t die when Flash picked him up and carried him to a police station, and Amanda Waller thinks that’s some kind of achievement. Like that isn’t the case for literally everyone the Flash has ever caught. And Flash is a street level hero, so that’s a whole lot of muggers and purse snatchers who are apparently capable of fist fighting Superman by Waller’s logic.

(On the same note as the Joker, Waller is also now incredibly stupid, but she’s mostly stupid for plot related reasons, so it sort of gets a pass? It gets more of a pass than the Joker at least, because making him comics-smart wouldn’t have necessatitated changing anything else about the film)

Re: Waller’s stupidity, her whole plan for recruiting El Diablo to the squad is... show him a video of him setting fire to some dudes. That’s it. She doesn’t even speak to him, she literally just holds up the video to the little window in his tank and seems surprised when that by itself isn’t enough.

And then when Flagg is like ‘hey let me try persuading him with actual arguments instead of just a weird video’, Diablo’s response is “You think you’re the first person to ask? I won’t do it. I’m a man not a weapon”, which gives us the amazing insight that in Ayer’s version of the DCU, there are apparently just... other Taskforce Xs running around. Other government agencies recruiting metahuman soldiers. So what exactly was the point of the half an hour or so of footage of her persuading the brass to go along with it? Because apparently they’re fine with this if every agency is doing it!

Tone? What even is tone. Griggs both has an antagonist but banter-y relationship with and brings cookies to the prisoners, but also he tortures them and is implied to be sexually abusing Harley, and like... you can’t have it both ways, Ayer. This is a one or the other situation. They can’t have a fun and jokey relationship with a man who is explicitly torturing and abusing them. Tone. You need to pick a fucking tone!

The decision to add a subplot about Deadshot being involved in a custody battle with his ex-wife was a fascinatingly terrible choice, and honestly tells you a lot about Ayer’s relationship to MRA talking points. Like, we know nothing about Deadshot’s wife except that she raised a cute well adjusted kid, so probably a pretty good parent, and that she doesn’t want her daughter to be spending time with a MASS MURDERER! So definitely a good parent! The comics just kind of handwave away Zoe’s mom most of the time, which was the right choice, because Ayer wants us to be on Deadshot’s side here, but it’s literally a choice between "a serial killer but you take credit cards” and a normal loving parent and somehow he thinks serial killer is the right answer? WTF happened in Ayer’s life that he thinks this is a choice where we side with Deadshot?! And it’s not even visitation rights or anything, Deadshot wants full custody. And the film thinks he’s in the right!

Not once, at any job I have ever had, one of which was a tourist attraction that required all visitors to wear a pass, have I ever seen someone wear a visitors pass on their sleeve. Not once. And it’s honestly such a good summary of the pervading wrongness of this film. This doesn’t feel like it was made by people. It feels like it was made by middlingly intelligent algorithms trying to pass as human.

Someone please tell me what the fuck any of this set is supposed to mean. The pose feels deliberate, but it’s not invoking anything I can see except the hanged man from the Ryder-Waite tarot deck, the halo of knives almost looks like it’s pseudo-religious imagery except that it’s not a full halo, the circle is incomplete on one side because of a broken piano, does the piano mean something? What about the babygrows, do they mean something? Does the Joker... want kids? Kill kids? Think Harley’s pregant? What the hell is any of this supposed to mean, and if, as I suspect, it was never supposed to mean anything why the fuck did they go to the trouble of making it?! What exactly does the hours this took to put together add to the movie?

David Ayer has a really weird relationship with both gang culture and latino gang culture specifically. He always feels the need to shoehorn them in somehow, and it’s this weird love-hate relationship where he apparently thinks latino gangs are so cool they have to be in everything, but is also so fucking racist he’s incapable of having a latino character who isn’t in a gang. Also in order to shoehorn them in here, he basically removed all of Joker’s henchmen (except for one scene which serves no narrative purpose) and replaced when with generic racist-stereotype LA gangs.

The fact that Griggs just hands Harley the phone in front of all the other guards and soliders was A Choice. Made even more so by the fact that Griggs never actually pay off. He gives Harley the phone, she tells him he’s “so screwed now”, and then... nothing. He’s just gone for the rest of the movie. He’s not even in the epilogue back in prison scenes.

I fucking love that the first thing Waller does is tell the world’s best assassin her real name. That is just... *chefs kiss* Everyone in this film is so fucking stupid.

I knew it was coming. I knew it was coming and I remembered the line perfectly, and I still had to stop the film because I was laughing too hard for “Ah would advise naht gettin’ killed by her, her sword traps the souls of its victims”. It’s the ‘that wizard came from the moon’ of film dialogue, and no one could have made it work, but the southern accent is really what makes that line delivery. I don’t know why, there’s just something about it in that drawl that it just endlessly hilarious.

It really is impressive how every character in this manages to be an offensive stereotype, sometimes multiple offensive stereotypes at once.

I love how Flagg’s right-hand woman is a samurai with a magical possessed sword that traps the souls of the damned who also isn’t military and refuses to speak English most of the time, but the squad are too weird for him. “You won’t believe it, this guy Boomerage, he’s got these bent stick things, and when he throws them they come back! I am freaking out, I can’t deal with this. Oh hi Katana, trap any damned souls lately?”

Harley is explicitly malicious in this in a way no other version of Harley has ever been, which is a Freudian nightmare when you combine it with her also being more sexualised than ever, and more infantalised than any version outside the Arkham games. Someone get Ayer a goddamn therapist. (Also in the vein of everyone being dumb in this, Harley is now an absolutely terrible psychiatrist and all her diagnoses are explicitly wrong, so that’s fun.)

The fucking pink unicorn-bundle of money switcheroo. There’s nothing to say on it that hasn’t already been said but holy shit. How do you fuck something up that bad? How? It’s like looking into Chekov’s nightmares and finding a pink stuffed unicorn staring back.

I love the way the soliders just come and go in this. Are they dead, are they alive, have they abandonned the cause? Why the fuck knows? Certainly not the editors!

I love how we’re supposed to be really sad about El Diablo being dead, but not care that Croc is seemingly directly underneath the explosion and definitely about to die, that’s fun.

I need to know if it was Ayer or Cara Delavigne’s choice to make Enchantress be just.. doing a little dance. Duing all the ‘tense’ moments. Because there are probably things which undercut tension more than the bad guy having a bit of boogy, but not many.

Enchantress gets so many costume changes, and I want to believe that they’re all from different versions of the film but I honestly think it was deliberate and I need someone on in the design department for this movie to tell me why because it add nothing.

I think the best thing about the stupidly on the nose liscenced soundtrack is that it just disappears once they arrive in Midway city. After spirit in the sky it’s original music all the way until the final scene. The great soundtrack DC stans insist this film has is literally only in the first 50 minutes and the last 2 of a 2hr+ movie.

The glorification of abuse in this is... seriously fucking something else. Twilight doesn’t have a patch on this. 50 Shades of Grey doesn’t have a patch on this. This shit is disgusting, and the fact that they pushed so hard to get it a child friendly rating is just morally bankrupt.

Possitive note to end on:

The dialogue is way too on the nose and exposition dump-y but the scene in the bar works pretty well. It fulfils its role in the story, and gives us a decent dose of team bonding.

Deadshot and Harley have great chemistry, and Boomer is perfectly cast, in a way that makes me really hopeful for James Gunn’s take on the team. A writer who knows how to write friendships could do a lot with the three of them, and they’ve been the core squad since 2011 so they’re the ones who matter. It probably helps that whatever Will Smith’s faults as an actor, you could cast him opposite a housebrick and they’d somehow have great chemistry.

[smokescreen24]

Be Nosy

1. What’s your sexual orientation? I’m straight, I like men. 

2. What are you obsessed with right now? I have several obsessions, they tend to cycle in and out.

3. Ever done any drugs? I smoke weed occasionally, and only socially. It hurts my lungs, and I like my lungs too much to damage them horribly. 

4. What piercings do you want? A nose piercing is on the agenda. You know, eventually. 

5. How many people have you kissed? 4? I think that’s right. Maybe five. 

6. Describe your dream home. . . . .I honestly have no idea what my dream home would be. 

7. Who are you jealous of? No one in particular. I rather like the life I have. 

8. What’s your favorite show to binge? I’ve been watching a lot of Blindspot and NCIS. Both are procedurals, and both are very good. 

9. Do you watch porn? No, I’m more likely to read it. I can’t take porn films seriously. (Also, they don’t do anything for me.)

10. Do you have a secret sideblog? Why would I? I’m not shy about my weirdness. 

11. If you could teleport anywhere in the world right now, where would you go? Somewhere warm and tropical. I’m not digging this cold snap right now. 

12. What’s one of your fantasies? I need you to define fantasy before I answer this. There are a couple ways I could answer this.

13. Do you have/would you get your nipples pierced? Nope! Not my cup of tea, to be honest. 

14. How would you spend a million dollars? Mostly with boring adult shit. Paying off debts and all that jazz. If I have anything left over after that, then I’ll travel. 

15. Are you in a relationship? Married, as a matter of fact. This year will be three years married. 

16. Do you follow porn blogs? I don’t believe so. Pornbots still follow me, though. 

17. Are you angry with anyone right now? No? All told, today was a good day.

18. What tattoos do you want? I’m getting a helix tattoo of cat prints up the shell of my ear, a boquet of gardenias, morning glories, jasmine and daisies on my right shoulder, the phrase ‘be the chaos you want to see in the world’ on the inside of my left arm, and last but not least, a red and green cancer ribbon on my left calf. 

19. If you could change your name, would you? What would you change it to? My first name, certainly. It’s too common, and I’d change it to Jazz. 

20. What is something you’re obsessed with? I’m a Dungeons and Dragons nerd. That’s my most recent obsession. 

21. Describe your best friend. Imma describe her personality. She’s whip-crack smart, very much her own woman, and does not suffer fools gladly. She’ll very definitely speak her mind, and to hell with what other people think of her. She’s bold, in your face, and frankly, amazing. 

22. Tag someone you think is hot. Can I @ David Tennant? I think he’s hot. 

23. Who are five of your favorite bands/musical artists? Aw, only five??? Aight, let’s see - The Heavy, Fall Out Boy, Panic! At the Disco, Within Temptation, and Linkin Park.

24. What are three places you want to travel? England, Greece, and Italy. 

25. Describe your perfect Friday night. I’m a homebody, so at home, with the hubby with a good homecooked meal and my cat. 

26. What’s your favorite season? Unpopular opinion time!!! I’m a summer fan! I hate winter, and the cold! 

27. What’s your pet peeve? Disorganization. I deeply dislike when my coworker on first shift leaves our desk a wreck. It makes me twitch. 

28. Who is the funniest person you know? Uh, that’d probably be my friend Chris. His nickname back in high school was Funnyman. And he has not mellowed with age. 

29. What’s the most overrated movie? Overrated? I’m not a big movie fan, so I’m the wrong one to ask.

30. Tag someone you want to talk to but have been too shy to message. I am here to tell you that I’m not shy in the least. If I wanna talk, I’ll talk. 

31. Do you like paper books or ebooks better? It’s a fairly even split. I like them both. 

32. If you could live in a fictional world, what world would you pick? Probably in Tal’dorei or Exandria. Critical Role has eaten my brain. 

33. If money was no object, what would your wardrobe be like? It wouldn’t differ much now in terms of style. It’d just be better made. 

34. What’s your coffee order? A vanilla latte with two shots of espresso. 

35. Do you have a crush on anyone? Bruh, I married the guy. Just throwing that out there. 

36. Do you still have feelings for any of your exes? Not even a little. 

37. Have any tattoos? Yes. I have two, and as stated above, plan to get more. 

38. Do you drink? Socially. I’m not big on drinking for the sake of it. 

39. Are you a virgin? HAHAHAHAHAHA. No. 

40. Do you have a crush on any of your mutuals? No, I don’t believe I do. 

41. How many followers do you have? Not that many. I’m a pretty low-key blog.

42. Describe the hottest person you know. Please let me @ David Tennant. 

43. What’s your guilty pleasure? I like reality tv. I watched Flavor Of Love back when it was on BET. I admit to watching it for the drama. 

44. Do you read erotica? YUP! I can’t write it worth a damn, but I like to read it! 

45. What’s the worst date you’ve ever been on? . . . . . I have to admit that I’ve never been on a truly awful date. Not many women can say that. 

46. How many people do you follow? Entirely too many. I need to cull the numbers a little. 

47. If you could marry any celebrity, who would you pick? Once more for the win! @ David Tennant! 

48. Describe your ideal partner. I married him. He’s an extremely tolerant man, and he thinks I’m funny. (I’m not, I’m just mean.)

49. Who do you text the most? That would be my best friend! @sabotage-prowl

50. What’s your favorite kind of weather? Hot. I like the heat.

[mittensmorgul]

Like, what was even the fake destiheller’s point? That destiel shippers will most likely follow a destiel blog? I mean congratulations lol, can’t really argue??

god I wasn’t even gonna say anything about this because *sad, largely irrelevant blogger who never shuts up about what they hate but was essentially unknown to huge swaths of the fandom because aforementioned irrelevance and general not-niceness* goes so far out of the way to pull an ultimately pointless long con by setting up a blog proclaiming to love the thing she hates, but gears it not toward the active destiel writing/meta/art/gif/creator fandom that I’m part of but toward teens, by pretending to be a teenager and complaining about school and being sad they don’t have more time to blog about the thing they claim to love, while generating very little in the way of original content and largely letting the blog sit there to gather pornbots like dust for three years…

(under a cut, because when I get going I have to make all the points… consider this my personal version of one of the “Let me introduce myself…” memes. I’m actually Andrew Dabb, but only when he’s being interviewed)

I mean… three years… that blog existed, while I’ve been on this hellsite nearly every day during that span and had never even heard of their lil blog– regardless of the number of followers they somehow attracted. I have “liked” over 100k posts, and even if 2/3 of my posts are reblogs (often conversationally, as many of us add thoughts to posts, etc), that still adds up to more than 20k posts I’ve reblogged and still never stumbled across one of her supposedly HUGELY popular blog posts… I mean… the blog was so quiet she literally had to send herself ask messages.  So I know those aren’t the sorts of people who are actively participating in the same vast swath of fandom I and the people I follow and interact with every day occupy.

And heck… now I wonder how many of the cringeworthy anons in my inbox may have been from her pretending to be clueless about aspects of fandom that her own comments to herself seemed to be trying to address and just… ew.

(for the record, I don’t generally reply publicly to anons I don’t have wank-free answers for– either wank-free in my opinion, or on topics that generally tend to draw even more wank to my inbox. I do not want my blog to be one of those bitter places filled with half-assed rants and facts I just pulled out of my ass because YEAH LET’S BE CRANKY ABOUT SHIT WE DON’T KNOW ALL THE DETAILS OF will never be my brand…)

(And if you court teenagers to your blog by pretending to be a teenager, most adults will not interact with your blog on purpose, because most adults aren’t creepers… I don’t think I follow anyone under 18, but if I found out I did, I’d probably unfollow unless it was someone I knew or talked with, beause while I’m not a creeper I do my best to be a kind person who doesn’t dismiss young people for being young. But I am an adult, and therefore should know better than to deliberately target people who are younger than my own kid under false pretenses– I will never refuse to give out mom advice if asked even if I’m only a half-assed adult and my advice is to seek out an another adultier adult… whatever, this is going off point…)

Is she somehow deluded into thinking she had most of the destiel people following her? Because I’d honestly never even heard of the blog before today. Some major fandom impact, right? Really showed us what for! >.>

No original content in almost a year, and still gaining followers? I’m betting most of them were bots. Because that’s who follows inactive blogs.

I talk to so many people in this fandom every day, and have for years, and never even registered that blog’s existence before.

So what did she gain? Well, in the aftermath she’s suddenly a hell of a lot less obscure, you know? Every blog that’s posting (yes, often hilarious) stuff today about the incident is basically free real estate for her. She’s in everyone’s head now, even if *we* get that it’s kinda sad and we’re all just a bit skeeved at just what sort of person would spend any of their energy on something they hate so much… I think in her mind, at least we all know her name now. We’re all spending *our* energy not creating actual SPN content today. We’re doing exactly what we accuse *them* of doing all the time. So at least for today, she was not irrelevant.

(I mean, in her own mind, at least…)

That post was like the saddest and most pointless Evol Villain Speech of all time. Like, standing before the gates of the city proclaiming victory while the townspeople go about their business, stopping every once in a while to mutter get a load of that one… what the hell are they going on about now? And then resuming their business as usual because most of us have actually interesting things to dedicate our blogs to. Like content that’s NOT about how dumb the people who aren’t in our particular corner of fandom are.

>.>

Which is why I’d been refusing to give her any free real estate here, because sure, have a laugh because wtf, but then just… get over it. Because giving a crap about what “their side” is up to is just as lamentably sad as her giving a crap what *we* are up to, you know? 

And that is everything I have to say on the matter.

Oh, and thanks for the great memes, but really nothing’s more laughable than the original.

[moss-sprouted]

also the whole reason tumblr banned porn isnt the pornbots

they dont give a shit otherwise they would all be gone by now,they aren't deleting nsfw content just hiding it so they aren't activitely getting rid of porn bots

its the fact that they REFUSED to outwardly ban child pornography or even remove the blogs that house it

and that is why it got removed from the app store,not the porn bots otherwise that would have happened a while ago though i do expect net neutrality being gone may play a part but i'm not totally up on that

porn is also not advertiser friendly and yahoo hasnt cared much about tumblr and their original plan was to kill it after a while or sell it again and so they either want to sell tumblr again and they need to have advertiser friendly content but still have its big user base

THAT is why it hasnt removed a single blog

the numbers will go down

if you want to leave tumblr,delete your account don't let them win by having you in their numbers

[schnazzyninja]

Tumblr's at it again!

Fucking over talented people and wonderful members because this rated M 17+ site should instead be bolstered down to rated E 10+.

Now I don't really go into the nsfw side of Tumblr, however I do know that talented people use nsfw things as an outlet, and Tumblr would prefer to go after them and leave the more problematic shit around, you know like the people who advocate for violence against others or pedophiles who actively harm children. No, according to Tumblr, those people are not warranted to be called out and taken down, rather let's go after the harmless third of our user base that uses these things to be the creative and good people that Tumblr claims--and remember, just claims--to support, then censors.

Seriously though. I understand why so many people are flocking to Twitter, DeviantArt and Instagram, their entire livings were just sweeped under a shill of a site and were censored with a snap. Only it wasn't half of the population, it was the entire goddamn enchilada.

@staff chances are very very high that you won't see this, but know that this is censorship. You take down a third of your user base's producers and how long until the consumers also leave to follow? You claim to be about your community, but it is clear it's a facade.

Shameful, Tumblr. Shameful. Not to mention that the pornbots still aren't gone. Well done Tumblr. You cut off your own legs before anything could do it for you.

(Also, surprise surprise, it's not just NSFW blogs that are getting taken down! SFW blogs are too! Specific ones as well that aren't what you'd want to get rid of... How interesting...)

[thedarkenedkeeper]

Alright, it's 6:40 P.M., I'm stuck in 2017 for the next 5 hours and 20 minutes, but whatever, I figured I'd take the time to actually make a list of the highlights of this year (which I will admit, is a tad hard to do given how my brain usually finds it easier to pinpoint the negative stuff first). I was originally thinking of making a bit of a video of me actually talking about it all - you know, so I feel like I'm actually pouring my heart out to you guys and like I'm talking to some close friends - but alas, I'm a socially anxious bean who just doesn't have that sort of bravery just yet, so I'm sticking with typing this all out! I'm sorry! XD

This may be a bit of a long post, so if no one reads this, I don't care. I just felt the need to do this - it's good to pinpoint the good memorable things versus the negative. So here I go!

1) Getting myself into watching not just Jack and Mark but other YouTubers as well. I started watching Jack and Mark around the end of November/earlier December of last year, but I never actually started watching one video a day until some time in January, and it was around that time when I also decided to give other YouTubers a chance as well (Pewdiepie, Crankgameplays, NateWantsToBattle, danisnotonfire, AmazingPhil, and Thomas Sanders). Now it may seem weird that I've added this to my list, but if anyone has seen any of my past posts, then you know that the last three years for me were an emotional hell, and admittedly, I still have unexpected depressing episodes every now and again. Discovering these guys and watching them, while they don't take away all of my pain permanently, they do manage to give me a distraction whenever I'm being WAY too hard on myself. They manage to calm me down and remind me that it's okay, that I'm not alone, and I can get through whatever it is I'm going through. Honestly, I don't even want to think about where I'd be right now if I hadn't decided to start watching any of them. Each year seemed to get worse in terms of how I was treating myself mentally - I REALLY do not want to imagine what I'd be going through right now if I didn't start watching their videos.

 2) On the topic of introducing myself to YouTubers' videos, this all gave me motivation to start drawing again! I absolutely LOVE the whole "dark side of YouTube" idea, and as such, I got overcome with a bunch of creativity to go and create drawings of each YouTuber I watch with their evil counterpart. It was a lot of fun, especially since it was a challenge - testing my ability of drawing real people in different poses with different facial expressions. (I still have to finish Mark/Dark's drawing - it will eventually get done).

 3) My tattoo. My first ever tattoo, one of which I designed...This...Honestly, I NEVER would've thought I'd ever get a tattoo, especially at this age no less. I was always afraid of how much pain I'd be in, plus having to choose something that would be PERMENTANTLY put on your body seemed like such an incredibly hard decision to make. But earlier in the year, given how Jack and Mark had actually managed to help me out quite a bit, I began contemplating about getting a tattoo - one that would look both cool and artistically pleasing, as well as have a lot of meaning put into it. I tossed the idea back and forth in my mind for about 4 months, until one night I had a full-blown mental breakdown. And during that time, I looked at my bare left arm and immediately knew then and there that I NEEDED to get the tattoo done. I wanted it on my arm so if and when I'd ever have another meltdown and be too hard on myself, I could look at it and remind myself that I'm stronger than I know and that I'm not alone. I've had this thing since July 8th, and I'm still so VERY HAPPY with it. I absolutely adore it with all my heart, and I couldn't be any happier with how it came out :)

 4) THE ANTIPOCALYPSE. Holy shit, I swear, of everything that happened this year, the Antipocalypse was the highlight of my year. That was the most fun I had in a long time. I mean, yeah, we all completely lost our minds. We lost sleep and went insane with paranoia for a month and a half, getting increasingly more on edge as it neared August 3rd, but man, it was so much fun having the whole community come together to theorize, create fanart, fanfictions, edits, you name it! And that's not all - there was also the first SepticArt event, which I ACTUALLY participated in. That's another thing why the Antipocalypse means so much to me - it's what got me out of my shell, it's what ACTUALLY got me involved in the community. It got me into making a few theories, some fanart, my first ever fanfic, and I met so many amazing people, many of which I now call close friends :) It's funny, there's some irony there - Anti's evil and chaotic and drove us insane, but at the same time, in some way, he "saved" me. If it hadn't been for him, I'd probably still be a "nobody" in the community, someone just watching from the sidelines.

 5) My Antisepticeye horror fanfiction, "Glitched". This...Just like with my drawing, for the last three years, I had pretty much lost any and all motivation to write, and it was HORRIBLE. Drawing and writing are my passions, and without them, I'm pretty much dead inside. But then the Antipocalypse happened, and inspiration hit me like a truck! I came up with a theory - the idea of us, the community, being the REAL villain, not Anti - and I loved it so much that I was overcome with the need to write a story about it. I was VERY hesitant to do it, given how I'd never written fanfiction before, let alone share my writing with anyone, but the idea was eating away at me so I caved. I ended up writing a oneshot titled "Broken", which ended up becoming the first chapter to "Glitched". I was floored when I woke up the next morning to see so many people loving it, so I wrote another chapter, and then another, and then another, until I was finally like "Fuck it! Let's see how far I can take this". I had absolutely NO intentions of taking that oneshot and making it into a full-fledged story, but everyone gave me the motivation I needed. Jack gave me the inspiration I needed to write the oneshot, and the community gave me the motivation and encouragement to take that idea and expand on it. Also, whenever I say "Glitched is my baby", I mean it. "Glitched" is my first attempt at quite a lot of things - my first attempt at fanfiction, my first attempt at angst, my first attempt at horror, my first attempt at really graphic gory scenes, my first attempt at surgical operations, my first attempt at realism, and when I end up writing Part 18, my first attempt at a battle/fight sequence. I REALLY want to be a horror author some day, and from the responses "Glitched" has gotten, I know I'm doing something right :)

 6) Okay, excluding all of the pornbots and any other bot really, I have a total of 333 followers, and I honestly have no IDEA how that happened or why any of you are following me! I did the math - before the Antipocalypse, before I began writing "Glitched", I had about 48 followers. I was a nobody in the community - I would just stay off to the sidelines, watching and reblogging, but never actually participating and contributing anything. But ever since I started writing "Glitched" in earlier August, from August 2nd up until now, I have gained 285 followers! 285! HOW the actual fuck and WHY the actual fuck?! I'm baffled! In comparison to some of the people I follow, 333 is not really a big number, but to me, it's huge! I feel like a celebrity, and I don't know how to correctly react to this! I've met so many incredible people ever since the Antipocalypse started, so many of which I call close friends, and I love you all so much :)

 7) All of October. I'm talking the Inktober/Egotober/Anti-Awareness Month stuff. Even though Anti didn't really show up (except for in the Silent Movie video), I absolutely LOVED how a majority of the community decided to dedicate the entire month of October to him and came together to make a bunch of fanart for him. And if you couldn't draw, then you wrote fanfiction, and if you couldn't write, then you did edits. Either way, there was a flood of Anti posts, and not just Anti but the other egos as well and it was INCREDIBLE. I had never participated in Inktober before so I decided to take part in it this year, and even though I only managed to get 13 drawings done, it was A LOT of fun. Taking prompts and making a challenge out of it, using pens instead of lead pencil (something I'm not used to) was such a blast! Oh man, I can't WAIT until next October to do it again! :D

 8) The fact that Jack ACTUALLY saw and liked the first drawing I did for Inktober! Okay, I know if may seem a bit like I'm coming off having wanted his attention or something, but I swear, that's not it. I have never once made any of my fanart with the pure intent of wanting to get Jack's or anyone else's attention; it's always been out of fun, always out of just wanting to draw for the sake of drawing. So when it came to the first day of Inktober and I posted my drawing, I tagged Jack just because I felt like dedicating the drawing to him. He gets tagged in SO many things, I didn't think there was a chance in hell he would EVER see any of my work, so honestly, my expectations were BEYOND low. I didn't expect him to actually SEE and LIKE my drawing 10 minutes after I had posted it! Man, I got so damn happy when I saw that he liked it, I actually teared up a bit. I didn't know how to react properly to seeing that notification.

 9) The entire Save The Children Christmas charity stream. Granted, I didn't get to watch the actual stream until Jack uploaded it to the channel (I still have to watch the second part!), but after watching it, I regret having not been able to watch it live. I could NOT stop smiling throughout the entire thing. I absolutely loved seeing just how happy everyone was and just how much fun they were having. And in some weird way, I almost felt like I was there(?). Like, I felt like I was hanging out with close friends - like I was off to the sides, watching and laughing at them being the pure goofballs they are. It was such a pure heartwarming, fun time, and seeing the community come together and raise SO much money for the charity and also create a bunch of fanart for it as well was amazing to see. And of course, I can't forget the Overnight Watch. THAT I actually took part in; for 9 hours and 45 minutes - from 8:15 P.M. to 6 A.M. - I sacrificed sleep and sanity to watch the security cameras. And though I lost my mind - though I was INCREDIBLY tired the next day and though I actually got so scared to the point I cried and had to stop watching - the entire thing was surprisingly about as much fun as the Antipocalypse. It's like what a lot of posts I saw said - it was like one big sleepover for the community! Everyone came together to talk to one another and theorize about everything happening. If anyone was getting tired and about to go to bed, someone else would step in and be sure to update everyone with what was going on. It was incredible!

 Those are all the main things that stand out for me this year. I could go on and list a BUNCH of other things that were amazing and made my year, but then I'd truly be making a book out of all of it, so I'm just going to keep it as this.

For anyone who actually read this all, I apologize for just how long this was! What were you thinking? The pain you must've went through reading this entire thing! XD

Tagging the people who welcomed me into this loving community with open arms and who I truly call "close friends" :)

@vity-dream @golden-eyed-guardians @septic-obsessed @fear-is-nameless @haveaverynicetime @septicfallen @maybekatie @steffid101 @adreamoverlife

It's been one hell of a year and I hope everyone of you guys has a Happy New Year. Here's hoping 2018 will be just as amazing :)

Love all of you guys!

[penelope-and-wonders]

Replies

@oakglow replied to your photo “ How’s that for a bit more private?' his hot breath tickled the...”

Beth is right, Ocean totally did this in the AU! Daria, this is so sexy and well written. And we can see how Fern has changed over time... she's so in charge and comfortable with herself (and even Jayce). Also, this picture is so beautiful.

Thank you for the compliment, my dear, and do you know what makes people mature even faster? SUFFERINGS, muahaha!

oakglow replied to your photo “God, she didn’t want him to go. Why couldn’t she have him forever? Was...”

Jayce, I wish you would stay. I have a very bad feeling about you leaving this time...

Rightly so! The shit is about to hit :D

oakglow replied to your photoset “Argh! Could you just NOT!', Hazel groaned in frustration, highly...”

Oh please, please, please let it only be one week and not turn into an infinitely longer time........

It will be like ten years maybe? :D

@misfitsims replied to your photoset "Argh! Could you just NOT!", Hazel groaned in frustration, highly...”

hahah the couple everyone hates

I’M SORRY EVERYBODY LOVES THEM xD

@quiddity-jones replied to your photo “How's that for a bit more private?' his hot breath tickled the...”

OMG, FERN. Your MOM did that with your dad in another universe and now my head is imploding!...or is that my hormones exploding?

That runs in the family :D

quiddity-jones replied to your photoset “Argh! Could you just NOT!', Hazel groaned in frustration, highly...”

*REJOICING AT THE RETURN; NEVERMIND THE PLOT*

LOL Complementing me a-la Mr.Darcy? xD

@simcataris replied to your photoset “Argh! Could you just NOT!", Hazel groaned in frustration, highly...”

Just here sipping my tea and wanting for the impregnation

You cracked me up so bad!!! I’m gonna wait with you if you’re okay with sharing your tea with a friend :D

@neopixiesims replied to your photo “God, she didn’t want him to go. Why couldn’t she have him forever? Was...”

I can't help but wonder if she is blooming in a pregnant way. Like, if she's pregnant.

WE JUST DON’T KNOW! :D

neopixiesims replied to your photo “God, she didn’t want him to go. Why couldn’t she have him forever? Was...”

Where is he goinggg.

To do bad stuff he does for a living, you know. Some bad criminal stuff like... bad stuff, I don’t know what you don’t understand here, really xD

neopixiesims replied to your photoset “Argh! Could you just NOT!', Hazel groaned in frustration, highly...”

Nothing beats Hank and Roosje's grotesque PDA.

Nothing beats Hank and Roosje. Period.

neopixiesims replied to your photo “Dude, I know, I’m so sorry! I had been traumatized with it too!!”

Your blog is a pron blog now? Hahahaha

I’m filing this as an evidence of you not loving me by the way! :p Gonna make some screenshots now to use them against you later!

@eslanes replied to your photo “Dude, I know, I’m so sorry! I had been traumatized with it too!!”

I shouldn't be laughing but this had me rolling, especially after all our talks about pornbots. They're getting their revenge!

You’re cruel and that’s why you will the next victim of p-curse! xD

@marquis-de-bechdel replied to your photoset “Argh! Could you just NOT!', Hazel groaned in frustration, highly...”

yeah i'm with hazel

@pixeltrashcan replied to your photoset “Argh! Could you just NOT!', Hazel groaned in frustration, highly...”

I kinda agree with Hazel tho, so much PDA is gross

THIS IS LOVE YOU HEARTLESS MONSTERS  xD

@simbollocks replied to your photo “Dude, I know, I’m so sorry!  I had been traumatized with it too!!”

Lol.. I was thinking.. well she inadvertently got back at me for all those gifs

LOL It’s karma, Brittani! :D Now I feel grateful to the lovely p-bots that sheltered my blog and kept it safe for you to find it xD

@simlishanddreams replied to your photo “Dude, I know, I’m so sorry!  I had been traumatized with it too!!”

LOL this is why you just delete everything and leave it inactive. That way nobody can take your old name and sully it like this.

I could not have thought it’s going to be like this! I can’t believe I was so naive LOL

@simpyre replied to your photo “Dude, I know, I’m so sorry.  I had been traumatized with it too!!”

I also noticed this earlier when opening an old tab that was still linked to zauglom. XDD

I’m sorry, baby! I’m not gonna do that again I swear :D

[vorpalgirl]

Things that really bug me about tumblr (especially lately):

1. why the fuck do I have to go to “edit appearance” to BLOCK someone? That makes no goddamn sense, why isn’t it in normal “Settings”?? If people can’t find the Block feature just by poking around in LOGICAL PLACES, then it’s not in a good place 2. why does “blocking” someone barely do anything?? They can still access your blog, they can still reblog your posts. Why?? This doesn’t help anybody who is being harassed or stalked badly. It’d be one thing if it was just them being logged out that helped them get around this, but it’s not. It just...barely does anything.

3. why the fuck do I have to block them on EVERY SINGLE BLOG, why can’t I just blanket block them from contacting ANY of my blogs?? Do you know how many fucking pornbots follow any reasonably active blog trying to use tumblr to game google’s algorithms?? A LOT. And yet, apparently you have to block them on any given blog you have, or just hope they don’t find all your sideblogs too

4. WHY DOES TUMBLR KEEP SUGGESTING “POSTS I MIGHT LIKE” THAT ARE THE ANTITHESIS OF WHAT I WOULD LIKE. I don’t just mean like, suggesting Disney fanart when I click “like” on a Sailor Moon fanart, where it’s just “oh, not completely antithetical but not my thing”, I mean e.g. what happened just now, where I clicked “Like” on a post warning people about a filmmaker who ripped off a black trans woman’s work to make his documentary, and tumblr’s stupid algorithm suggested I “might like” a post where if I clicked through it was not only anti-feminist but explicitly hosted on a blog run by some dude who literally believes women are “biologically inferior” and should have less rights than men, and also is a lesbophobe and probably general homophobe to boot. WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU THINK SOMEONE WHO REBLOGS FEMINISM-POSITIVE AND LGBTQ- POSITIVE THINGS ALL THE FUCKING TIME, TAGGING THEM AS SUCH, WOULD EVER IN A MILLION YEARS WANT TO LOOK AT THAT BLOG OR THAT POST, LET ALONE BECAUSE THEY CLICKED “LIKE” ON A POST CALLING ATTENTION TO A BLACK TRANS WOMAN’S STRUGGLES? Why??? There is??? no reason at all for tumblr’s algorithms to make the assumption that that post, that blogger, or their garbage opinions, would at all be appealing to me. NONE. The guy literally tags shit “anti-feminism”, not even “feminism”, anti! And it would be one thing if you could like, tell it “Oh, no, you made a mistake, I don’t like that and don’t want to see it” - because then you could teach it to better gauge what posts you might actually be interested in. But you can’t. And worse, why do I suspect that by clicking it, I “confirmed” to tumblr’s algorithms that I “did like” the post, when I absolutely opposite of liked it?? Oh and the same holds true of Sponsored Posts - I haven’t reinstalled Xkit again so I’m stuck viewing them and a good third of the time it’s stuff that grosses me out or isn’t relevant and for some damn reason tumblr hasn’t come up with the brilliant concept that even Facebook (which is also pretty garbage) has, where you can tell them “this ad is not relevant to my interests, please don’t show it on my dash again”?? You’d think they’d LOVE to give you that option since it would help make their ad targeting BETTER and therefore make them more money, but apparently even monetizing this hellsite is done badly. Why do we even use this anymore. Why. This site is so garbage, it’s barely even functional at ALL and mostly just serves to be frustrating. When is the next Killer App replacement gonna finally take hold, pls, because clearly tumblr isn’t actually going to fix any of this shit at this rate, so I am so fucking ready for it. >_>

[lordnelson100]

Taggy tag

Tag games

Tagged by @arizonapoppy

Name: I don't use my real name in fandom; I work in tech and people do some weird ass shit about finding online traces of each other.

True story, I also do some digital photography and once had a work contact who I just met proudly congratulate me on some photos I'd published --not under my name, under my flickr handle, which he sherlocked from an email address (which is also not my name).

Nickname: none? Lordnelson, I suppose. The 100 is just on there because the core name was taken on whatever platform I first used this identity on, which might have been . . . TelevisionWithoutPity?

Gender: female

Star sign: PISCES

Height: 5’6”

Sexuality: Primarily I opposite sex, with men, but it's been a long and winding road.

Hogwarts house: Ravenclaw

Favorite animal: Crow

Dog or cat person: like ‘em both.

Blankets you sleep with: Down comforter by winter (I live in The North), cotton patchwork quilt in the warm weather

Dream trip: one good thing in my life is that I've taken some: Paris and London multiple times, Venice, Alaska, the Hebrides . . . I would love to make it to Patagonia

Dream job: writing fiction

When I made my Tumblr: around 3 years back?  But I used it only for finding and liking things until this year.

Followers: I like them. Hi there! Unless you're a pornbot.

Why I made a tumblr: I used to have a Wordpress blog around my real life and photography, and a Livejournal for fan stuff back in like the late '00s. Gradually those declined as ways to be in touch with people and getting excited over things, and I let them go.

This year I had a sudden passionate revivale in fandom for all things Tolkien, and suddenly started writing fic again, which I hadn't for several years. Once I was writing again, I found myself wanting to share and comment and rec and interact, and not just scroll and lurk.

Reasons for my url: was a grad student in 18th & 19 century English lit and history at one point, and read extensively as to all things British navy for a thing. Later I went into a completely different field, but had a side fandom in Age of Sail (Hornblower, Aubrey/Maturin, Temeraire)

[arwensnutshell]

I was tagged by @wellwelldroogieboy to do this stuff so here it is (thanks btw, I just noticed I always forget o say thanks)

Rules: answer the questions and tag 20 followers you’d like to know better

Nickname: I have some but only certain people use them...Arwi, Tommy, Gwänny and Rotzi Fotzi (don't ask xD) are those that get used kinda frequently Height: I'm as smol as Lars Ulrich, so 166 cm/5'4 Ethnicity: White Favourite fruit: Mangos, melons and precious kiwis Favourite Season: Summer but I only leave my house to lie in the sun and hear The Doors Favourite books: It would be lame to list PJ 20 and random factual books about psychology, drugs, music (btw I have the same biographies five times...anyone want some Bowie, 70′s music, R.E.M. or Pixies books?) and ichthylogy, right? Other than that I like The Black Magician trilogy by Trudi Canavan, Lord Of The Rings, Der Letzte Seiner Art by Andreas Eschbach and I'm currently getting into The Prophet Favourite Flowers: Orchids because they look nice and I can literally let them dry out and they produce a new sprig Favourite Animal: I like orcas, cats (domestic and feral cats), turtles and fishes considering all my fish tanks even though they can scare the shit out of me Favourite beverage: Idk Ice tea and still water Favourite fictional characters: Can I just name all the Lord Of The Rings and half of the Game Of Thrones characters and pretty much every character in a movie played by Sean Bean (why do they always have to die?). I have a deep love for Kilgrave in Jessica Jones. It's usually the sickest villian you can find in a fiction Number of blankets you sleep with: 1 Dream Trip: I really want to do an impulsive roadtrip through the whole US together with someone I like with some stops listening to good music all the way but I'd also love to travel to the Indonesian islands to study the interesting fishes and shrimps that live in the lakes and enjoy nature. Of course being a traveler I’d also enjoy a Yard Trip #7 (My music references ain’t funny, I know) Blog created: Sometime in 2016  after I forgot my password for the old one Number of followers: I actually have 20 people that aren't pornbots who follow me...I don't know for what considering I'm too shy to actually post or reblog stuff but hey

I'm still awkward so I won't tag anyone

[myaekingheart]

Aaannddd I’m back!

I decided to participate in the #TumblrLogOff and let me tell you, trying to stay away from this hellsite for a solid 24hrs was ROUGH. Never realized how disgustingly dependent I am on this thing before. I’m glad I did it, though. I don’t know if this protest will lead to any real change but I figured why the hell not? It couldn’t hurt to try. Besides, I think a break every now and again is healthy anyways. 

I wanted to be a part of this, though, because I don’t completely agree with the way Tumblr has handled this. Yes, I think child porn should 110% be eradicated from this website. Child porn should not exist in general. It’s disgusting, immoral, and illegal. I feel the same about exposing minors to porn, as well. I don’t think anyone under the age of 18 should have to be exposed to that shit. This is especially true in terms of pornbots, which I’m pretty sure I remember seeing somewhere that they did not discriminate against minors but seeing as I was already of legal age when they began their uprising, I can’t truly vouch for the accuracy of that statement. 

The pornbots have been a big problem for a really long time. I know us users have begged for staff to do something about it for ages and they didn’t do shit. I find it funny the way they actually never did a damn thing until their ad revenue was at risk because of Apple removing them from the app store. Which means clearly the staff and the CEO only care about the money-- which is expected. They’re a company, after all. That’s how companies run. However, I don’t think they should’ve waited until their finances were at stake to do something about this. That just proves that they don’t give a fuck about their consumers-- not really. They say they do, they say they love the community we’ve built within this site and that they will always be a safe space for marginalized groups and shit but let’s face it, it’s all a front. They don’t really give a flying fuck unless it involves their money. 

Secondly, not only do I think they should’ve waited as long as they did, I also don’t think they handled this correctly at all. Removing child and unnecessary porn is absolutely essential but that doesn’t mean all porn is unnecessary. I am personally pretty indifferent toward porn but I know there are so many artists on here who have finally found a niche online to garner an audience for art that would otherwise be turned away for being too racy and I think that’s great. They’re out here using Tumblr as a means to make a living when they would otherwise be struggling. Not that they’re super rich because of Tumblr, but it makes things easier. Or at least it did. And users who have posted NSFW content, artistic or otherwise, have always been courteous of others and tagged that content so that those who were uncomfortable could blacklist. Unlike the porn bots who are unsolicited and shoving that shit in your face. The porn dilemma is not predominantly a user problem, it’s a virus problem. The porn bot epidemic is a virus and should’ve been handled accordingly. I was even talking about this with my boyfriend and he was criticizing the staff saying that if PornHub can flawlessly filter out shit like child porn then Tumblr should be able to, as well. I don’t have an extensive amount of knowledge about coding but I know if someone else can manage it, then there shouldn’t be any excuse. 

The filtration system is fucked up. Tumblr promised to discern what was appropriate and what was not in terms of content and they failed. Porn bots are still slipping through but posts about puppies, food, and statues are getting incorrectly flagged. It’s also flushing out fandom content, something that this site has prided itself on being a prime vessel for over the years. Their own post exemplifying what was allowed even got flagged which really says something. Meanwhile I updated a chapter of my fanfic two nights ago and yesterday morning I checked my blog activity to find it was reblogged by a porn bot who erased all the content and replaced it with a link to a porn site. What the fuck. 

The fact that Tumblr’s new policy is actively pitting against the LGBT+ community, as well, irks me. I am not a member of the community but I know how pivotal this site has been in giving a voice to oppressed sexualities and gender identities, provided a sense of community, and given them a safe space to communicate with one another and rally for their rights. Tumblr has given that community so much and now it’s as if they’re pulling the rug right out from under them which is not okay. Staff says they still want to facilitate that dialogue and shit but how can that be when members of the community are getting flagged left and right for the most innocent bullshit? It’s bothersome. 

It was tough staying away from this site for a full twenty four hours (and being actively aware of it) but I’m glad I did because it gave me a lot of time to think about what Tumblr will become if this ban proceeds forward (and our attempts failed) and what’s made Tumblr great all these years. I don’t know what I’m going to do moving forward. I want to stay, but it depends if things get too bad. If the filtration system continues to be royally fucked up and everything goes to shit, then obviously I’ll leave. I’ll make myself at home elsewhere-- even though there really is no place like Tumblr. I guess we’ll just see what happens but I felt like I wanted to make a post about this in general once I logged back on because I feel like it’s an important topic to address and I wanted to talk about why I decided to join the fight. So there’s that. 

[kawuli]

Um. Hi.

So apparently 33 of you are new in the past month? After accounting for pornbots. 

So since I really don’t want to do the things I should be doing right now, I thought I would (re)introduce myself in case some of you aren’t just here for cat pictures.

I’m mo, I’m 34, I’m from Indiana and live there now, but spent most of the 11ish years since I graduated from university in other countries: Ecuador from 2007-2010, Mali for most of 2013-2016, Netherlands for part of 2012 and the parts of 2013-2016 when I wasn’t in Mali, until I got here in December (why yes this is an interesting time to come back to the US and especially to a red state).

I was in Mali and the Netherlands doing a PhD in agriculture and rural development (university is in NL, my research was in Mali). I occasionally ramble about agriculture-type stuff, particularly when people poke me about things. I went to engineering school for undergrad, and have been known to tell people I need more math in my life, because math makes sense and people usually don’t.

I write fanfic, mostly Hunger Games, mostly posted on AO3 with the silly stuff on LJ/DW (yes I’ve seen the new ToS, I am too tired to do anything about it right now). I’ve only been writing since like 2014, and wasn’t really “in fandom” for anything until probably 2013. I’m bad at pop culture references generally, due to anything from “did not live in this country/have reliable internet” to “my parents thought teenage mutant ninja turtles were violent and wouldn’t let us watch.” 

My brain malfunctions and sometimes I talk about it. I’m queer, and still getting used to saying that out loud. I have a ...fraught... relationship with religion. 

My tags tend to be sarcastic. Glamorous expat life doesn’t get used much anymore but it was usually pretty mundane shit. tw: America USED to be tongue in cheek and then welp 2016. Best practice might be actual good advice or it might be someone building their own flamethrower. Brain problems often get the sarcasm treatment, so ~trauma~ is me being pseudosarcastic in order to trick my brain into...idek honestly, and “here we are in bullshit city” is a catchall for acceptance (from this post). If you want me to tag for something let me know and I will try to do so, but I also just responded to an email from March so I’m not always on the ball. 

So idk, that’s some stuff. Y’all can ask me things if you’re curious, and if you want to tell me why you’re here that’d be cool too. Anon is on unless and until people are assholes.