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writtenonreceipts · 8 months ago

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Rowaelin Month Day Twenty-Seven: Single Parent @rowaelinscourt

Month Masterlist // Story Masterlist

Story is hidden on Ao3 for the time being, but can't resist sharing for today's prompt.

Warnings: None, ~3.5k words

Summary: After a flashback disrupts Rowan's progress in town, Aelin and Meiri spend the day at the park.

.*.*.*.*.

Where We've Been, Where We're Going--Part Nine

Rowan didn’t return to the house that night.

Aelin tried to not let it bother her. Tried to assure herself that everything was alright and she hadn’t somehow insulted him. Not that she cared of course. He could do whatever he wanted. He wasn’t a prisoner nor did he owe her an explanation.

But after Aelin had picked up Meiri from Nehemia’s, she hadn’t seen any sign of Rowan’s truck in town. And then once Meiri was in bed--Rowan still hadn’t returned.

She didn’t know why she cared. Or maybe it was unease and a cold shift of distrust. She remembered nights when Arobyn would come back late and she had no idea what mood he’d be in. It usually wasn’t the best mood and often led to fights.

Which was why Aelin shouldn’t let herself care about Rowan. Because he didn’t need it. He didn’t need her nagging him or worrying. He probably loathed it anyway.

When morning came and there was still know sign of him, Aelin told herself not to worry. It wouldn’t have surprised her if he’d just gotten tired of being in Terrasen and decided to leave, break all the promises he’d made and not look back. She wouldn’t judge him. At least…she’d try not to.

With the day off from work, Aelin was determined to spend it all with Meiri. It had been a while since they’d had a mother-daughter day so the extra time would be nice.

As Aelin made oatmeal and cut up some banana’s Meiri pattered into the kitchen with her princess blanket over her shoulders. She climbed into one of the kitchen chairs that creaked beneath her before glancing around.

“Where’s Rowan? He’s gonna miss breakfast!”

Aelin hid her wince as she turned to grab the milk from the fridge. “He’s helping Uncle Malakai, remember?”

“He never misses breakfast, though,” Meiri pointed out.

She looked up at Aelin with her big blue and gold eyes looking so expectant that Aelin decided she hated Rowan Whitethorn.

“He just needed to get an early start,” Aelin said, pouring a cup of milk for Meiri.

Hopefully that would be the end of it. Aelin had no desire to lie for Rowan. Especially not like this. She’d never really had a reason to lie to her daughter. Even when it came to talking about her father, Meiri accepted the small half-truths given. And she still didn’t ask about him a lot. But it felt different where Rowan was concerned. Especially because she hadn’t wanted this. She hadn’t wanted another man in her life that would just let her and Meiri down again. Yet somehow he’d carved a place in their home.

Irritated over that reaction, Aelin returned to the kitchen table with the milk and the oatmeal.

“Are you excited about our day today?” she asked, eager to distract Meiri. “We can go see Marion and then go to the park.”

It was still August which meant they had a few weeks until the school year started in early September. Aelin wanted to make sure they used their summer up in the best possible ways while the weather was still good.

“Yeah!” Meiri said excitedly. “Do you think they fixed the big blue slide? It’s my favorite.”

A few high schoolers had thought it would be fun to disconnect a few pieces of playground equipment last week which left a lot of the park unusable. Aelin didn’t know if the kids had been caught but she did know that Chaol had a whole slew of community service activities ready for when they were found.

“I hope so,” Aelin said. The parks department also had a nearly nonexistent budget and a lot of things were slipping through the cracks, especially when everyone was so concerned about seeing the county fair be successful.

Meiri attacked her oatmeal with gusto before taking her dishes to the sink. She dashed upstairs to get ready for the day while Aelin finished her own breakfast.

Her phone remained quiet on the table before her. All it would take was one text to Rowan and she knew she’d feel a little better. But what would she even say?

Hey just making sure you didn’t abandon us. Or if you did that’s fine just wanna check and see.

Because that was normal.

All he was doing was crashing at her place until he was ready to move on. Nothing else. Just the way it was meant to be.

Aelin shot off a text to Marion letting her know of their plans before she got up and made sure the dishes were washed before heading upstairs to get ready for the day herself.

…

With a pile of books between them, Aelin pulled into the small parking lot for the park. It was another beautiful day in Terrasen with the bright sun and scant clouds in the sky. Aelin would take these days for as long as she could get them. Not just the heat of the day, but times where Meiri was bouncing with excitement and chattering on about how much she loved her books and which one she wanted to read first.

Aelin smiled to herself as she got out of the car--Meiri already unbuckled herself and was rapidly piling books in her arms. As Aelin gathered the old picnic blanket from the trunk as well as her own book, she made sure Meiri was keeping to the grass and nearby area of the park.

They’d never had trouble here, nor in the town for that matter, but Aelin wouldn’t take her chances. Even after nearly six years without a sign of Arobynn--Aelin knew she’d always be looking over her shoulder.

“Rowan!” Meiri yelled suddenly.

Aelin’s head snapped up, glancing around the park. Sure enough, there was the familiar head of silver hair in the mulch of the playground. His giant toolbox was at his feet and he had a battery hand drill in hand as he carefully maneuvered the big blue slide into place. His truck sat in the far corner of the lot, somehow staying hidden beneath the large oak tree on that side of the park.

Hearing his name, Rowan froze before looking around and finding Meiri running towards him.

“You missed breakfast!” Meiri shouted as she ran closer.

Rowan said something that Aelin missed and she couldn’t see his face given the slant of the sun. He wouldn’t say anything bad would he? There was an obvious reason he’d avoided returning to the house--maybe it had something to do her or Meiri or--

Meiri let out a squealing laugh. Rowan had handed her the large drill and knelt before her as he showed her how it worked. It reminded Aelin of when her father had made her a small trophy case for all of her medals and awards for playing the piano. Rhoe had constructed a small case for her and showed her the wood and tools he’d use and consulted her in what color to paint it and everything. As far as Aelin knew, it was still sitting in her old bedroom. Unless her parents had tried to move on. It had been seven years since the last time Arobynn let her talk to them after all. She was twenty-six, her birthday a few weeks ago. They’d move on by now, wouldn’t they?

Meiri laughed again as the empty drill bit whorled.

Aelin collected her book and blanket and the small cooler packed full of snacks. She didn’t bother locking the car, knowing they’d stay within eyesight of it. She went over to where she and Meiri usually camped out, beneath the long spindly branches of a maple tree, and set things down before walking over to the playset.

Meiri had given back the drill and watched in rapt attention as Rowan drilled in a bolt. He set the drill down and gave the slide a hefty shove. It remained in place.

“Wow!” Meiri said. “You did it! Momma, Rowan fixed the slide.”

Aelin couldn’t help but smile at how pleased Meiri was over the new development. Already, Meiri hedged closer to the ladder that would take her to the top of the slide.

“He did, didn’t he?” Aelin glanced at the man in question, brow raised.

Rowan just shrugged. “I ran into Chaol this morning and he mentioned it, thought I’d have a look. It should be good to go.”

He pushed on the slide again. Even when it didn’t budge, he didn’t seem convinced that it would remain fixed.

“Can I play, Momma?” Meiri asked. She tugged on Aelin’s hand all while looking back at the playground.

If Rowan’s relentless shoves weren’t going to get the slide to move, Aelin figured he’d repaired it better than it had been when first installed. So Aelin ruffled her daughter’s hair and urged her on.

“Have fun.”

Meiri launched onto the playground, scrambling around the ladders and steps.

Rowan shifted almost imperceptibly and Aelin could have sworn a small caution was on his lips before he clamped up entirely and only watched Meiri continue to play.

“She’ll be fine,” Aelin said, “you probably made the slide immovable even in an earthquake.”

He didn’t say anything until Meiri launched herself down the slide, squealing the entire way. When she reached the bottom of the slide, Meiri ran straight back to the ladder and to the top. Completely unharmed if rather static-y.

“Right,” Rowan said. Shaking his head, he knelt down and gathered his tools.

Aelin almost asked him about where he’d been last night and this morning, but it didn’t matter, did it? Prying would say more about her than it did him. And if him leaving was going to get any easier it would do well to distance herself now.

So, Aelin stepped back to where she’d left the blanket, book, and cooler. She smoothed everything out and settled into an easy reading position where she could see the entire playground and watch as Meiri dashed between slide, swing, and monkey bars.

It was an otherwise quiet day with the occasional bird chirping overhead. This park was on the far west side of town and, honestly, no one really liked it. It was often empty and easy to get parking. Which was also why Aelin preferred it.

Maybe that was why she was so surprised when Rowan came to stand at the edge of the blanket, still looking out over the playground.

Aelin looked up at him. There standing beneath the maple, he was covered from the sun and she could see the stubble growing again and the dark circles beneath his eyes. He looked exhausted. And Aelin knew what that kind of tired did. It was bone weary to the point that you simply had to embrace it and live with it and hope that something, somehow, would keep you going and going and going.

“Did you tell Luca about Emrys?” Rowan asked.

Aelin set her book aside. “Yeah, I swung by Chaol’s place this morning. He was really excited.”

“He gonna help you with the party?”

“Only by making food suggestions,” Aelin said.

A small smile flashed across Rowan’s otherwise harsh features. Even that bit of softness was fascinating.

“Though,” Aelin added, “I think we’ll just do it as the diner. I don’t want their house getting too crowded and my place…well. The diner’s more local anyways and I know a lot of people will want to be there.”

Slowly, so slowly and without looking at her, Rowan lowered himself to the ground. He stayed off the blanket, didn’t even touch the worn edges. It took him a minute to settle there, legs stretched out before him, frown back in place. Aelin wondered how long it had been since he’d truly taken time to himself to just exist.

“I was going to leave,” Rowan finally admitted. He picked at a thick blade of grass and carefully began ripping it lengthwise into small strips, hardly looking at it and instead watching as Meiri latched onto a sliding pole and went careening at almost concerning speed. “But I’m already enough of a bastard--I only made it a few miles out before pulling over. Slept out there too.”

Aelin vaguely remembered the messages she’d seen on his phone. Someone was expecting him in California and others too were still trying to reach out to him in one form of friendship or another.

She wondered if it had anything to do with that--that he’d finally broke and chose to fulfill whatever duty still on his ledger. She almost told him as such. That he could just leave. That no one would blame him or begrudge him that.

“I should have told you what I was planning, or that I was--” Rowan cut himself off, lips pressed together.

They stayed like that for several minutes. Aelin figured it would do well to let him proceed as he wanted. Prying into someone’s life had never worked out well for her in the past. But Rowan seemed to be measuring his words, carefully considering them instead of holding back entirely.

Rowan let the pieces of grass fall from his fingers before he spoke. “There was an accident last night that Chaol mentioned where a kid had…the kid died.” He looked at her, straight on and direct and Aelin had a feeling she would not like where this story ended. “And all I could think about was when I let this kid, only a year younger than me, I let him scout out a building we were watching. And he was always wanting to do something, always wanting to be busy and be active y’know?”

His gaze fell back to his hands. “I could have stopped it if I’d actually thought about what was happening.”

Aelin felt her stomach twist in knots, felt the cold brush of the reality of what Rowan had experienced. He continued to stare at his hands and Aelin wondered what those hands had done. Had they held his friend's hand? Has he tried to staunch the bleeding? Had he found who was responsible?

Arobynn had never told her what training was like, only that he was in charge. He’d never told her about his deployments, only that he was in charge. He’d never told her anything, only acted on his own pain. And when that happened it was always upon her. She knew well how to be silent. She knew well how to listen and carefully craft a response even if it never was spoken aloud.

But Rowan, Rowan was different.

Wasn’t he?

“I never made it back for the funeral, but his mom sent me letters after,” Rowan continued. “I tried apologizing, tried telling her I did everything I could. Tried telling her it was my fault. And she only sent me pictures of the family garden and told me that Danny had wanted to give her something before he left. So he started that garden for her and she’d been keeping it on ever since.”

“How long has it been?” Aelin whispered.

“Six years.”

So it wasn’t what drove him back stateside. That would be another painful story.

Once Aelin would have pulled out the beer and the vodka that Arobynn told her were only for special occasions. She would have kept pouring glasses while trying to fix dinner. She’d never touch until he would put her on her knees and tell her to distract him. She always did what she was told back then and never anything more because if she ever did something she wasn’t supposed to…well…there was a reason she told Yrene to delete her file at the hospital after Meiri was born.

But now, Aelin wanted so desperately to reach out to Rowan. She herself would want even the simplest of touches. Even a hand to hold or a shoulder to lean on.

“Do you still get pictures of the garden?” Aelin asked, unsure what else to say.

On the playground, Meiri had begun collecting rocks to stack against each other in a sort of cairn.

“Yeah,” Rowan said, “the tomatoes always do well. Danny’s sister even got married in the yard with all these sprawling plants in every picture.”

He smiled, barely, at that.

“I’ve never been able to grow anything,” Aelin mused. She paused and gestured to Meiri. “Except that.”

Meiri chose that exact moment to screech and kick all the rocks she’d collected in varying directions.

“You’re doing a good job at it,” Rowan said.

Aelin returned her attention to him. He was back to watching her with that guarded expression he wore so well.

“Well, I’m running out of ways to cut her pancakes so a revolution may be on our hands.” Aelin settled back on her elbows, letting the warm summer breeze cool her sweaty skin. She had a few water bottles at the ready and would call Meiri back soon to make sure she was getting enough to drink.

“Dragons and aliens?” Rowan suggested.

“Done and done. Poorly.” Aelin grinned. “I am a failure of a mother for that, according to Meiri. No amount of syrup was enough to save it. Emrys is better at pancakes than me.”

Rowan shook his head, running a hand over his mouth as he tried and failed to hide his amusement.

“Your daughter can be a bit brutal,” he said.

“Well, she has to get it from somewhere.” Aelin called Meiri over and handed her a water bottle and snack.

Meiri took the items before trotting over to sit on the edge of the slide. Apparently a grasshopper had been sticking close to the area and she wanted to try and catch it.

“So,” Aelin said, “why California?”

He’d never exactly explained that choice and Aelin was admittedly curious about it.

Rowan shifted and stretched one leg out before him, the other bent so he could rest his elbow in his knee.

“Well, I’d just got back from Kovac,” he said, “and didn’t have anything holding me in New York.”

The words were slow as Rowan took his time to explain. Aelin almost told him to forget it, that it really wasn’t her business, but he continued before she could.

“One of my squad mates is in California right now,” he continued. “After…after my last tour. Well. I’d never gone on a road trip before, so why not now?”

He was leaving things out, not that Aelin could blame him. There was something heavy in his voice and the way his shoulders slumped just a little.

“My squad mate was injured, pretty bad, and we’d all said we’d meet up when we were all out. So I started driving.”

“I’m sorry about your friend,” Aelin said.

“It got me to go to Kentucky,” Rowan admitted, “it’s where Danny was from.”

He paused, lost in thought. A look of regret flashed over his face. She knew that look. It wasn’t one of exact misery but it was painful nonetheless.

“He told me to go hike Mammoth Cave, that it would be the best thing to do to make me feel alive,” Rowan added. “That and go to the county fair his town always hosted. It wasn’t fair season, so I ended up hiking most of the day, got lost a few times and eventually made it back. Then I had to find the nearest store to find these dumb little pink candies that taste like chalk, but it was a tradition his family had.”

“That sounds like a good day,” Aelin said.

He smiled, barely. “It was. It was supposed to be the entire squad. We were all supposed to go out and do that one thing for him. But…well. Things happen.”

Aelin didn’t know if that meant everyone else was dead but him or they’d all just drifted apart after they returned. She wasn’t sure if she even wanted to know.

And then before she could stop herself, she spoke. “I left my boyfriend, or fiancé, technically he just gave me the ring and told me to put it on. He wasn’t…he wasn’t a good person.”

“Aelin,” Rowan spoke softly. He reached across the distance between them, fingers barely skirting the back of her hand.

“He doesn’t know about Meiri,” she said, smiling as Meiri stuffed the last bite of sandwich into her mouth with all the elegance of a five year old. “She’s everything to me.”

Rowan wrapped his fingers around hers, giving them a tight squeeze. It was enough. For just that afternoon, Aelin would let herself be comforted. It was the most information she’d ever shared about herself with someone that wasn’t Marion or Nehemia. She hadn’t even told Emrys or Malakai about her past, though she had a feeling they both had a close enough idea to what she was running from.

But for now, Aelin let herself accept Rowan’s comfort.

For now, she let herself imagine that everything was going to be alright.

#rowaelin #rowaelin month #rowan x aelin #wwb wwg #where weve been where were going #throne of glass

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