#Watch mail call full episodes | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

honeyhotteoks · 4 months

Text

this night together - chapter fourteen (j.yh + s.mg)

chapter fourteen: what we mean to each other

chapter summary: making amends is hard, moving on is hard, but you have a home now in a way you've never had before. together, you move forward through it all.

warnings/notes: this chapter still deals with the aftermath of the attack, so all previous warnings apply, but i think you'll see we're coming out of it now and into much happier times. this is the start of an absolute fluff fest, and we'll be back to smut in the next chapter. specific warnings for: discussions of physical attack, anxiety, ptsd, consent conversations, past s*xual assault (mentioned in passing), issues with police and the legal system because lbr the cops aren't doing anything good for assault victims, and reader has a triggering moment with her neck but she works through it just fine

pairings: alpha!yunho x alpha!mingi x omega!reader

genre: smut, a/b/o/omegaverse, angst, fluff, romance, polyamory

word count: 14.3k

previous chapter | next chapter | AO3

It’s been days. Days of staying safe behind the walls of their apartment, days of dodging calls from your friends, days of cocooned self preservation. They haven’t left you for a single minute. You spent the weekend trading off who’s lap you were cuddled on and bickering over episodes of Single’s Inferno and you’ve never needed anything more.

Slowly though, things start to shift.

You’re showered, for one. And Yunho and Mingi both have settled back into their routines as best they can without leaving the apartment. Video games, mindless scrolling, paging through books and cooking balanced meals instead of another day of takeout.

On Monday, Seonghwa confirms your worst suspicions by texting you a photo of the formal letter he received via Minseok’s attorney. You expect Yunho and Mingi’s are in the mail. Every time your phone chimes you expect it to be the police or some other official legal summons. Your mind has started to turn over every detail of the event with calculated detail, and your internet history stretches long with research.

By Tuesday, you’ve caved and finally started answering Wooyoung’s texts with more than just single word responses or emoji confirmations that you’re still alive. The moment you do, he takes the opening and runs with it just like you knew he would.

As you wait for the hot water for your tea to boil in the kettle, you re-read his most recent text again.

Do you want to get out of the house for a bit? We can try that new spot by the bookstore?

Your stomach feels tight at the idea of going out and you do your best to tap out a reply that you think sounds casual and relaxed - Maybe next time, let’s just catch up and relax here?

You watch the message send and deliver and in nearly real-time it flicks over to read. Dots appear as he types.

Sure - his message reads - I’ll be there in an hour

An hour. You shouldn’t be so nervous to see your best friend, but the idea of opening up your little sanctuary to anyone right now feels a little fraught. The kettle whistles, and you hear feet shuffling against the vinyl flooring as Yunho crosses over into the kitchen and you lock your phone and Wooyoung’s messages away so you can focus.

“Hey,” You murmur, giving him a smile as you pull the kettle off the heat.

“Hey,” Yunho smiles back, leaning against the opposite counter, “everything okay?”

“Mhm,” You tell him, just a little white lie.

“Is Woo still coming by?” He questions.

“Yeah,” You nod, setting the kettle on a pad so it doesn’t damage the countertop, “he said around an hour,”

Yunho nods and then slides a bit closer to you, his hand stroking up and down your back once until he settles it on your hip. “Hey,” he says again, “can we talk?”

A nervous pang strikes in your gut, but he doesn’t look upset, so you take a guess at what he wants, “Is it okay that he’s coming?”

“Wooyoung?” His brows draw together, “Of course, that’s not what I meant,”

“Oh,” You turn towards him more fully, leaning against the counter with him, “okay, what’s up?”

“I want to apologize,” He says, swallowing tightly.

“Apologize,” You blink.

He nods.

“Okay,” You can see how whatever he’s about to say is bothering him, the stress under the surface, but you have no idea what he’s sorry for.

“Listen,” He reaches and takes your hand, pulling you a little closer to him, “I know you know I’m sorry, but I haven’t said it clearly and you deserve that,”

“Oh,” You relax further into his space until you can feel your bodies brushing together, the warmth radiating off his skin.

“The way I reacted at the studio after your last heat was wrong,” He says in a rush of air as he laces your hands together, “and I haven’t gotten the chance to really say that,”

“It’s okay,” You shake your head, soothing him a little, “you don’t have to,”

“No,” He insists with a squeeze of your fingers, “I do. That day, I was worried and jealous and confused, but I let my anger get the better of me and that’s not something I normally do.”

You squeeze his fingers back, letting him know you’re listening.

His eyes flick up from your joined hands to your eyes as he continues, “It’s not something I should have ever put on you or something you should ever see,”

“People get angry,” You start to say.

He’s firm when he shakes his head, “People get angry, but I don’t get angry at you. Ever.”

“Yunho,”

“I yelled at you,” He squeezes your hands, “I cursed at you,”

“I did the same thing right back,” You remind him.

“It’s not the same,” He presses, brushing right past your words, “and I’m apologizing because I’m telling you, y/n, it will never happen again.”

“You think we’ll never have a fight?” You smile, “That’s optimistic,”

“This isn’t a joke,” He sighs, “please,”

“I’m sorry,” You tuck closer to him, unlacing your hands so you can snake your arms around his middle, “and I appreciate you apologizing for that fight, but I was upset you were being possessive and emotional after all the cold shoulder, you yelling wasn’t really high on my list of concerns,”

He’s quiet for a moment, but then he nods, “I’ll get to that in a second, but will you hear me on this one thing?”

“I’m listening,”

“I hate to bring it up again,” He grimaces a little, “but I’ve just spent four days watching you jump at every noise around the apartment and wake up every night fucking terrified,”

Your eyes shoot down.

“And before I apologize for all the other ways I’ve been an ass to you,” His warm hands settle on your skin, thumb brushing along your jaw, “of which I know there are many,”

You smile at that.

“Yelling at you like that,” He sighs, “talking to you like that has been bothering me for months. I need to apologize for it because I need you to know that you’ll never, ever hear it again. Mingi said his peace, but it’s important to me that you know you’re safe with me in every way. If we’re going to do this, I need you to know you can tell me anything, including telling me off when I make mistakes, and I won’t get angry like that again.”

“I already know that,” You look up, meeting his firm gaze and reaching for his cheek, “and I hope you understand that I know the difference between how you were angry then and what he did and how he spoke to me.”

“I just had to say it,” He nods, “I would hate it if anything I ever did made you afraid to be honest with me, or made you feel like you’ve been feeling the past few days, I’d never,”

“Baby,” You cup his cheeks in both hands, holding his eyes so he hears you fully, “I forgive you, and I am not afraid or uncomfortable with you or with Mingi. Not at all.”

“Good,” He exhales hard, his eyes a little shiny and you press forward to wrap your arms around him and hug him close, his arms closing around your back.

“If you’re being idiots,” You kiss his chest through the thin fabric of his t-shirt, “I’ll tell you you’re being idiots,”

He laughs low, the vibration running through your chest, “Good.”

“And if I’m being an idiot,” You add, “I’m not going to freak out if you get pissed at me or yell at me,”

“I appreciate that,” He squeezes your shoulders, “but I don’t want to be the guy that yells, that’s not really an alpha stereotype I’ve ever wanted to fit.”

“Okay,” You nod against him.

He clears his throat a little roughly and you’re about to pull away but he holds you steady for a moment, “There’s one more thing,”

Your hand strokes a line down his back, as you hum softly, “Hmm?”

“I have more to say and to apologize for,” You can feel his heart beating a little faster under your cheek and you stroke his back again, “but I’m still figuring out how to do that, and it might not be fair of me to ask, but I wanted to see if you can be patient with me for that.”

“Yunho,” You murmur, “what’s going on?”

“I, uh,” His fingers flex tightly against your skin, “I started seeing someone,”

“Someone?”

“Professionally,” He adds, “Mingi used to and I know it helped. I didn’t think I needed to, but I think we can both agree I am not the best at managing my own emotions here,”

“Oh,”

“So,” He breathes, “after our fight, when I finally cooled off and realized what we did I asked him for a referral. I’ve been meeting with her once a week and it’s been helpful, but I’m not ready to apologize to you for the rest of it until I understand why I treated you like that,”

Emotion fills your chest like a balloon and you nod into him, “Yunho,”

He clears his throat again, “Sorry,” he says, “this is a little uncomfortable for me to talk about, but I’m working on it,”

You wriggle out of his arms to find his face again and press up on your tiptoes to catch his mouth, kissing him with as much surety as you can before you lean back, “That means everything to me,” you tell him, “everything. You have all the time in the world from me, okay?”

“Yeah,” He smiles, “good, okay,”

“Is it helping?”

“Definitely,” He nods, “it’s almost like the professionals know what they’re talking about,”

You smile up at him.

“I know I mentioned it before,” He adds quickly, “and I won’t press it, but if you do feel like it would be helpful for you too, you can come to me and I can ask my therapist for some numbers for you to call. I’ll even help set up an appointment if you need that,”

Your chest goes tight at the thought, “I’ll let you know,”

“Okay,” He smooths a hand up and down your back, “no pressure,”

“For sure,” You manage.

His lip quirks up and he presses a long kiss to your forehead as he gives you one more squeeze, “I said I won’t press, don’t panic,”

“Sorry,” You breathe.

He makes a noise dismissing that and then steps back, “So,” his eyes are bright again, everything equalizing back to normal with his smile, “you were making tea, can I help?”

Your shoulders relax, tension bleeding out of you in an instant, “No,” you turn back to the warm kettle, “but can I make you a cup?”

“Sure,” He pulls two teacups down from the cupboard, “so Woo will be here in an hour?”

“Mhm,” You tap your phone to light up the screen to check for any other texts.

“Got it,” He nods, “would you feel alright with Mingi and I stepping out for a while?”

“Out?”

“I need to run by the studio and check in on things,” He explains, “and we need to get some food in here. I figured we could do that while Wooyoung keeps you company,”

“Yeah,” Your heart picks up a little at the thought, but you press that feeling down and drop a teabag in each of your cups, “I’ll be just fine,”

“Good,” He drops another kiss to your hair, keeping his fingers lingering on your skin while you pour hot water into your cups.

“Do you,” You almost stop the question, but you find the words bubbling out of your mouth before you can second guess, “do you need to leave right away?”

Yunho smiles wide, taking the kettle from your hands as he shakes his head, “No,”

Your heart eases a little.

“Let’s have these together,” He nods to the tea and picks up both cups, “we’ll go when Woo gets here,”

You follow him out into the living room, and he sets the cups down on the table before settling himself into the corner cushions and reaching up for you. It’s easy to take his hand and to melt into the familiar position on his lap, and you let him draw you in close and cuddle you, his arms wrapped securely around you as he nuzzles your cheek with his nose.

You sigh, resting your hands on his chest and turning your face a little to catch his mouth in a kiss.

He hums pleasantly against your mouth, “Is it strange to say that I’ll miss you while we’re out?”

You smile, shaking your head, “No,”

“Will you miss us?” He pecks your lips again.

“More than I want to admit,”

“You know,” Yunho smooths his hands over your body to rest in their familiar homes, one on your thigh and the other curled around your waist, “I hate what happened, and I wish I could take all the bad memories away, but I’m also so glad you’re here with us,”

“I know what you mean,” You nod.

“The months we spent apart were terrible,” He confesses, kissing you softly.

“We’ll have to make up for lost time,” You agree quietly.

“A proper date,” He smiles, “or a vacation somewhere warm?”

“Mm,” You hum, thinking of being stretched out on a beach somewhere with your boys on either side of you, “perfect,”

“I’ll think on that,” He runs a hand down your hair and relaxes back into the couch, “you deserve something nice,”

Twisting on his lap you reach for both of your teacups before settling back into the same, comfortable position, “I think it would just be nice to come over here without having something traumatic happen beforehand,”

He frowns a little.

“I’m kidding,” You nudge him softly, “kind of,”

“I know,” He nods, “still,”

“Yeah,” You quietly agree, taking the first sip of your tea.

Yunho takes a sip too, and then hums a short, quick laugh, “This smells like you,”

“Like me?”

“The tea,” He takes another sip and nods, “you smell just the same, but sweeter,”

“Do you like it?” You find yourself asking.

Yunho’s head cocks slightly to the side, a line between his brows, and then he says, “Have I not made it clear how much I love your scent?”

Your cheeks heat and he smiles at the way your skin reddens.

“Sweetheart,” He shifts, pulling you in while still being careful of the tea, pressing warm, lingering kisses over your jaw to the hollow of your ear, “if I could drink you instead, I would.”

You swallow, heat curling in your belly.

“Soothing tea,” He murmurs, “sweet honey,” he adds with a kiss, “and the willow is sharp and fresh. You wake me up and calm me down all at the same time,”

Your pulse quickens, and slowly your head drops to the side, extending the column of your neck to his lips.

He takes it slow, remembering the way you jerked back in bed a few nights before, and he’s careful not to press too firmly or give you any inclination that he’s going to touch you with anything but his lips.

“You smell like home,” He murmurs, his hand coming up to cup your head in his wide palm, kissing just a little lower still.

Your muscles are stiffening up at the feeling of his mouth getting lower towards your exposed gland and your fingers tighten on his shirt where you hold yourself steady.

“I’ve got you,” He whispers, “stay with me,”

You nod, just a little, enough to tell him not to stop, “W-what else?”

He smiles against your throat, “Well,” he kisses again, to punctuate his words, “when you’re happy, really happy or excited, there’s lemon too,”

Your breath feels staggered, thready, and you focus on the feeling of him and the warmth of the teacups against your thigh.

“When you want us,” He takes a deep inhale, sighing hot against your skin, “it’s all honey, thick and syrupy. After your heat I smelled that honey here for weeks,”

You feel a whine building a little in your throat, and you bite down on your lip to keep it buried. Your body feels like it’s fighting itself with every touch of his mouth, hot arousal knots up at his scent mingling with yours and at his words, but the isolated touch alone has you fighting little flashes of a place that isn’t here and isn’t him.

“I’ve got you,” He repeats, “I love you,”

The reply settles on the tip of your tongue, but then he presses one last closed-lipped kiss directly over your gland and withdrawals entirely. You blink hard, a shudder running up your spine.

“Alright?” He checks, smoothing his hand down your hair again.

You nod, letting your fingers unknot from his shirt while you collect yourself.

“Hopefully that answers your question,” He clears his throat softly.

You start to nod, but the sound of the bathroom door opening cuts through the moment and you start, tea spilling over the lip of your cup onto your fingers.

“It’s Mingi, baby,” He assures you.

“I know,” You have to tear your eyes off the hallway though.

His mouth is set in a concerned little line, and you know he’s probably thinking about your conversation in the kitchen again, but he lets it lie and doesn’t push it, just like he promised.

Mingi appears a moment later, a towel slung around his hips and his shoulders and hair wet from the shower. He smiles widely when he sees you both, “What’s going on in here?”

Yunho raises up his cup, “Tea,” he smiles, “nothing much,”

“Mm,” Mingi nods and stretches, “nice,”

“Will you be ready soon?” Yunho asks, “Wooyoung will be here in a bit,”

“Yeah, sure,” He confirms and then glances at you, “you’re good with us going out?”

“I’m good,” You confirm.

“I’ll stay if it would make you feel better,” Mingi adds, “I can hide in the bedroom and listen to music or something if you want privacy,”

You love them both so much in this moment you feel like your chest might crack right open on its own, and you shake your head at him with a smile, “No, I have to get comfortable at some point, it might as well be while Woo is here with me,”

He nods, “Well, we won’t be too far, just call us and we’ll turn around.”

“Thank you,” You reach up to take his hand and he twines his fingers with yours immediately.

Yunho shifts, pressing his lips against your shoulder, “Are you and Woo going out anywhere?”

He’s clearly trying to be subtle, but you hear the anxious note in his voice and it occurs to you that they might be just as nervous leaving you as you are staying here without them.

You shake your head, “No, just staying here,”

“That’s good,” Mingi adds a little too quickly, “if you do go out, would you let us know?”

“I will,” You promise them, “but you don’t have to worry,”

“It’s in our nature to worry over you,” Yunho sighs, “but I think we’re both trying not to be overbearing about this whole thing,”

“Trying,” Mingi shrugs, “but also the idea of not knowing where you are feels like it might give me hives,”

You laugh at the image, easing back into Yunho’s chest.

“To be clear,” Yunho shoots Mingi a look, “that’s in a nice ‘we care about you’ way, not in a ‘controlling boyfriend’ kind of way,”

“Relax,” You tell them both, “I get why you want to know, it’s the same reason I want to know where you are.”

“Studio first,” Mingi offers without you asking and your chest warms, “then groceries, and then I want to swing by that cafe that has that caramel cheesecake you like, then home,”

“Don’t say we don’t have to,” Yunho adds, “we want to,”

You smile as he takes the words right out of your mouth.

“Plus, I want some,” Mingi says with ease.

You’re not used to this type of relationship yet, having alphas of your own who actually want to be with you and take care of you, who worry for you and feel for you in all the deep nervous ways you feel for them. You hush the nagging voice in your mind that tries to tell you not to show them how much you need them, the voice that doesn’t want you to jump too fast, you already know what you get by listening to that voice.

Instead you ask them what you want to ask, “How long do you think you’ll be gone?”

“Two hours,” Yunho offers, “maybe three at the most,”

“Okay,” You exhale, weight dropping away from your shoulders, “that’s perfect,”

“We’ll let you know,” Mingi adds, “and if you need anything special while we’re out, we can stop,”

You shake your head, “I’m fine,” You assure them, “a little anxious, but you know, it’s good for me.”

Mingi smiles warmly, brushing his hand over your cheek and tilting your face up with his thumb and forefinger on your chin, “We’re a phone call away,”

“I know,” You nod.

Yunho sighs as Mingi’s hand drops away, and he kisses your shoulder again, “It’s funny,” he says, “I really don’t want to leave you,”

“We did just spend three months not seeing each other and in a state of constant relationship limbo,” You point out and give him a squeeze, “we really went from nothing to a whole lot of something fast,”

“Not too fast?” Mingi checks, trying to sound casual.

“No,” You say, “and even if it is, I don’t care,”

“We’ve always felt right together,” Yunho adds, “we’re just letting ourselves enjoy it now,”

He’s never said something so true.

Mingi gets dressed and collapses onto the couch next to both, pushing closer into your space with Yunho until you’re both practically on his lap, but it works. You stay knit close together until there’s a knock on the door and then it’s fast kisses goodbye and big hugs from your best friend, and before you can really process it you’re without them for the first time in days.

Your stomach is fluttering, a nervous quiver deep in your gut that you really don’t want Wooyoung to over-analyze. A moment later you find yourself back on the couch in the warm spot Yunho left, wrapping yourself in the blanket you had all shared the night before. You can smell them on it, earthy, warm, and sweet.

Wooyoung watches as you start to relax, and he takes a seat right next to you to keep close, a closed smile on his lips.

You can’t believe you miss them already.

They must miss you too though, because Mingi only makes it a scant ten minutes before he texts you, his message lighting up your phone - Forgot to say I love you - I love you.

“What?” Wooyoung nudges you under the blanket.

You pass your phone to him and he reads the message, his eyebrows shooting up high, “I leave you alone for a few days and you’re all saying ‘I love you’s?”

You grab the phone back and tuck it away, “That’s the thing about life changing trauma,” you laugh, “it really accelerates the big feelings,”

Wooyoung nods, keeping things light, but finds your hand on the back of the couch so he can hold it.

“Also we’re not all saying it,” You confess, “they’re saying it,”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean they’ve told me,” You explain, “the day after the studio we had this big talk,”

“Don’t tell me they put all that shit on you like that,” He wraps his hand around yours, “y/n,”

“Not like that,” You shake your head, “it’s actually hysterical, they thought that Seonghwa and I have been dating,”

His eyes go wide, “What?”

“It’s truly the longest story of miscommunication,” You tell him, “at this point I think someone should write a book about me and make it a romantic comedy,”

“Erotica,” Wooyoung smirks.

“Shut up,” You swat at him.

“There have been too many good orgasms for a romcom,” He shrugs.

You roll your eyes, “Anyways, it turns out the whole not talking period while you were all away was just me pining but feeling like I fucked it up, and them pining but thinking I had moved on with Hwa,”

“Damn,”

“But when they realized that they were wrong about that,” You continue, “we just got it all out there,”

“And they love you,” He smiles a little, “and they actually said it,”

“Yeah,” You soften into the cushions.

“I hate to ask the obvious,” He squeezes your hand, “but if you’re so happy about that, why haven’t you told them? You do love them?”

“So much,” The words fly out like you’re defending something, and you run a hand through your hair as you get your real thoughts steady, “I do, Woo, so much. We’re scent matches,”

“I know,” He nods warmly.

“You do?”

“Anyone with eyes can see that,” Wooyoung smiles, “well, apart from you three.”

“Thanks,”

He nudges your thigh with his foot under the blanket, “Honestly, though, after what happened I could see it on them. You couldn’t keep your hands off each other, and they kept flanking you, watching you like you might disappear,”

A memory of the studio plays like a clip in your mind, the way they held you between them, the three of you against everything. You nod, “They’ve been doing that for days,”

“Which…” Wooyoung trails off, trying to guess where your head is, “you’re happy about?”

“I am,” You nod emphatically, “and I love them, I just… I can’t get the fucking words out of my mouth,”

He sobers a little, sliding closer to you on the couch so he can draw your legs over his lap and give you exactly the kind of comfort you need, “I’m listening, babe, talk to me,”

“I don’t know why,” You hold his hand tighter, “but every time they say it, and I think I’m going to say it back, I’m right back in that room with Minseok’s teeth on my neck and I can’t,” your chest feels tight, “I can’t get it out,”

His eyes soften, empathetic in the way that only he can be, “Does being in love with them scare you?”

“No!” You pull your hand back from his.

“Babe,” He takes your hand back and holds tight, “I’m not saying they scare you, I’m saying does being in love, being vulnerable like that scare you?”

Your shoulders drop, “A little, but,”

“But?”

“I thought about it for three months,” You argue, “I had it rehearsed, I knew exactly what I wanted to say and the big reveal was supposed to be the ‘I love you’ part not the ‘I’m sorry’ part,”

“Your plans on that kind of fell apart when that asshole tried to claim you,” Wooyoung pushes back a little.

“Yeah, no shit,” A flurry of anger bubbles in your belly.

He nods, “And now you’re off kilter,”

“You could say that,”

“You rarely do anything without thinking it through,” He offers, this thumb drawing a comforting line over your palm, “and your plan got fucked, and you’re emotionally vulnerable, and traumatized, and stressed. You feel like you’re out here without a life vest,”

His words stun you silent.

“And this thing you worked up in your mind for three months is now totally derailed,” He continues, “am I on the money?”

You nod.

“Can I ask you something?” He says.

You nod again.

Wooyoung asks this question softly, his voice quiet and gentle, “Do you want to bond with them?”

Your heart thumps in your chest.

“It’s just you and me,” Wooyoung soothes you, “and whether or not you bond with them is your choice, okay? But, babe, is that something you think you’ll want?”

Suddenly you remember the feeling of your heat with them. The way you begged for them, the way it felt so right and so sure that you belonged to each other. You remember how your mind spun imaginary futures that all ended the same way.

Silently, you nod.

“Loving them isn’t bonding,” He murmurs, “you can just love them for now at your own pace.”

Tears prick at the back of your eyes, “What if I can never do it? They can barely touch my neck without me falling apart, what if I can never take a real claim?”

“Oh, babe,” He pulls you towards him, crushing you to his chest, “I wish you called me earlier, you shouldn’t be thinking like this,”

“It was so terrible,” You confess into his shoulder, “I can’t even tell you, I don’t even know how to explain,”

“You don’t have to,” He hushes you, a hand stroking up and down your back, “and I don’t know if this is going to help or hurt, but I know right now you feel like there’s no way you’d ever be able to take a claim without it being scary and awful, but someday you might be able to without even thinking of him.”

A few hot tears escape your eyes.

“And I know I give Yunho and Mingi shit,” He adds, “but you know that both of them would rather die than do something to hurt you or scare you,”

“And if I can never bond?” You manage.

“Then I’d say thank god your scent matches are two men who would never, ever push you into a bond you weren’t ready for,” He says, squeezing you tight, “and I think if you asked them, they’d tell you that they’d rather be with you unbonded and happy than bonded and in pain.”

“You’re right,” You wipe away the wetness on your cheeks, “I know you’re right,”

“They’re not going to try to push you into a bond just because you love each other,” He lets you lean back but he slides his hand back into yours, “especially not now,”

“I know that,” You sigh, “rationally, I was just,”

“I’m telling you, I get it,” He eases you, “sometimes you go through something and you think a part of you is wrecked forever, that you’ll never be able to do something again or feel normal again, but you will. I promise,”

You know the truth of him so suddenly you can’t stop the words, “Woo,” you feel your heart beating faster, “did something happen?”

“A long, long time ago,” He says softly, “and today’s not the day for that story, but I’m telling you it does get better and it does soften in your memory and someday your alphas are going to touch your neck and you won’t even think about it, it just won’t be there anymore.”

Grief and relief mingle in your gut at his words, and you want to ask him more, to be there for him like he’s been there for you but you can see it in his face, today isn’t the day for that story.

You squeeze his hand, “I love you, Woo,”

“I love you too,” He assures you.

Silence sits between you for a moment while you turn over his words, and though you can’t imagine the day he’s describing, you still believe him. You have to. You don’t know what happened to him or when, but you’ve never met someone as bright and open and happy as him, and you have to hold onto that truth.

You look down at your combined hands, “Yunho offered to make an appointment with a therapist for me,”

“Say yes,” Wooyoung replies without a thought, “I waited years and I wish I hadn’t,”

“Yeah?”

“Does he have a contact?” Wooyoung asks, drawing your eyes back up, “I have some options for you if not,”

“He said he can ask his therapist for a referral,”

“His therapist?” Wooyoung grins, “I knew I liked him,”

“You’ve been friends for years,” You nudge him.

“Liked him for you,” He corrects, “that’s different,”

“Yeah, yeah,”

“My best friend deserves an alpha who is fully therapized and capable of complex emotions,” Wooyoung says with confidence, “nothing less.”

“Don’t mention that I told you,” You add quickly, “he told me that in confidence, it just slipped out,”

“I wouldn’t,” Wooyoung shakes his head, “that’s private. But between you and me, I’m glad to hear it.”

“Me too,” You sigh.

“And as far as you going?” Wooyoung circles back to the real question at hand, “Say yes, the sooner the better. If Yunho’s offering to help set it up, let him. Making that call is hard, and if he can make it easier, just say yes.”

“Okay,” You sigh, your shoulders dropping.

“And tell them how you’re feeling about bonding,” He adds, “trust me.”

“Maybe,” You say, “I know you’re right. We’re just moving so fast,”

“So slow down,” He offers.

“I don’t know if I want to,” You admit, warmth and nervous energy filling your chest, “it feels right like this, I just don’t know if I can handle a claim,”

“Tell them,” He reiterates, “don’t let them stumble into that one, they might hurt you without even knowing it if they bring it up sooner than you’re ready for.”

“Right,” You nod, “you’re right,”

He huffs a laugh, “Usually am,”

You flick his arm, rolling your eyes, so grateful at him for helping you work through something this hard while still keeping you smiling. You should have called him earlier, he’s right about that too.

You let silence stretch around you both for a moment, and then something occurs to you.

“Do you know anything about the charges Minseok is filing?” You run a hand through your hair, “Not to bring up yet another pleasant subject,”

Wooyoung snorts a little air through his nose and shrugs, “I probably know what you know, have you talked to Hwa?”

You shake your head.

“At all?” He seems surprised.

“I have,” You correct, “but it was quick and we were all on the call. I haven’t been to my place to see if there’s any mail, but I’d guess Yunho and Mingi will get a summons soon.”

Wooyoung nods, “That’s what the police said,”

Your eyebrows raise, “You talked to the police?”

“Seonghwa did,” He clarifies, “and he gave San and I the run down.”

“Why is no one telling me what’s going on?” You exhale heavily.

“Because last we heard you were having nightmares,” Wooyoung rests a hand on your folded legs, “and we don’t have a lot of information to give, and I don’t think any of us want to cause you more stress than you need.”

“Do Yunho and Mingi know?” You press.

“Not exactly,” Wooyoung says, “though, I guess Seonghwa might be telling them now if they stopped by the studio,”

You wait for him to continue, but you’re a little relieved at least that your boys aren’t keeping anything from you directly.

“Seonghwa spoke to the police who explained the charges. Minseok is alleging that the guys misunderstood what they saw and ignored his attempts to explain, and that they used unnecessary force intervening on your behalf.” He says it plainly.

“Misunderstood?” You repeat the word.

“I know,” Wooyoung nods, “we all know, but that’s what he’s saying. The police advised Seonghwa to get an attorney and let him know that further charges were being filed. I think we can safely assume that’s Yunho and Mingi, maybe San if he’s really going after it.”

“Maybe me too,” You add.

“Maybe,” He nods, “but that would be tough to prove I think,”

“Hmm,” Your eyes feel a little unfocused.

“Hey,” Wooyoung gets your attention with a squeeze, “we don’t know anything yet, and we thought this might happen. It doesn’t change the truth and it doesn’t mean any of them regret what they did to make sure you were safe, okay?”

“Yeah,”

“Tell me you understand,” He presses, “because I’m not letting you put this one on yourself,”

“I do, I understand,” You nod, “it just sucks,”

“That’s fair,” He gives you a soft smile, “but it’s going to take a lot more than this to fuck us over,”

“Yeah,” You murmur, “you’re probably right.”

Wooyoung says something else but you hardly hear it, in the back of your mind all you can think of is that first night at the hospital. The detectives who interviewed you were kind, but bordered on dismissive, and you know Minseok and his family have deeper pockets than you do. You have to figure this out, you have to.

“Babe?” Wooyoung nudges you.

“Yeah,” You snap up, coming back to the present moment and letting those anxieties fade into the background until you can really think them through, “sorry,”

“It’s okay,” He soothes you.

Your phone buzzes on your lap again and you pull it up to see the message. It’s Mingi again - Budae Jjigae for dinner, ask Wooyoung if he wants to stay? We’ll have plenty

It’s like he felt your anxiety from miles away and you can feel the tense knot of your shoulders unlocking. You send back a quick heart emoji and then look back up to your friend, “You want to stay for dinner?”

He smiles, “Who’s cooking?”

“Mingi,” You tell him, “he’s been on a comfort food kick for me,”

Wooyoung smiles, “I’ll stay,”

“Great,” You tap out a reply to Mingi letting him know and take a big sigh.

“They make you happy,” Wooyoung says, “it’s nice to see,”

“It’s nice to feel,” You tell him, “after all this time, and after everything,”

“You deserve it,” He murmurs.

You smile, a little tease at the corner of your mouth when you nudge him, “So do you, and speaking of,”

His face lights up fast, “I wasn’t trying to bring my too-good mood over here if things weren’t going well,” he sighs, “but now that I know you’re all in love,”

“So you and Yeosang?” You turn the conversation to something so much happier, and feel lighter the second you do.

“It’s so good,” He gushes, head falling back against the cushions, “he’s kind of quiet, kind of hard to get to know at first, but y/n, he’s so funny,”

“Yeah?” You smile.

“And smart,” He adds, “and considerate, he’s always getting me coffees or refilling my water, just like, those little things,”

“Wow, look at you,” You squeeze his hand, “serial dater of alphas, turned into a blushy mess over a funny, smart, considerate beta,”

“He’s packing like an alpha, I’ll say that,” Wooyoung grins wolfishly.

You smack his chest, “Woo! Literally that is too much information,”

“Please,” He rolls his eyes, “I share a locker room with your boyfriends, I know what you’re working with,”

You feel your face flush red.

“Cute,” He teases.

“So,” You divert, “does Yeosang feel as strongly?”

His smile drops a little, “I mean,” he says, “I think so? But he’s not really an oversharer,”

“Have you told anyone else?” You try to be casual about that question, but if you’re being honest you’re dying to know where things will land with San and Seonghwa.

Wooyoung shakes his head though, “Not yet, but I think when everything calms down I might have him pick me up at the studio or something? I want you to meet him and I want everyone to know, I just,”

“I get it,” You assure him, “you go at your own pace.”

“Yeah,” He sighs.

“Just don’t follow my lead,” You smile, “if you like him, don’t run away in a panic,”

“Noted,” He laughs.

He looks so happy, bright from the inside in a way that matches his sunny scent, and you think he’s not far from sharing ‘I love you’s of his own at this rate.

You squeeze his hand again and catch his attention back, “You really look so happy,” you tell him.

“I am,” He sighs, “he’s exactly what I needed,”

You smile, and then push his legs to the side, “Move over, I know you have pictures, you’re holding out,”

He laughs sharply, head falling back but letting you manhandle him a little so you can snuggle into his side. Wooyoung tugs the blanket around you both and pulls out his phone, “Fine,”

“Like it’s a burden to show your best friend pictures of your hot new boyfriend,” You smack his chest, “come on,”

Wooyoung drops his arm around your shoulders until you’re slotted together on the corner of the couch, but he still hasn’t lit up his phone. You’re about to nudge him again, but then you feel him press a soft kiss to your hair.

“You know,” He says softly, “when Sannie called me and told me what happened, I just felt so sick,”

You find his other hand under the covers and lace your fingers together, “I’m okay,”

He nods, sighing into your skin, “I just want you to know,” he says, his voice a little tight, “you mean so much to me, and I’ll be grateful to them forever for stopping him,”

You blink back a few tears and nod, “I am okay, though,”

He nods again and clears his throat, “I know,”

“I think you’re avoiding my questions about Yeosang,” You squeeze his hand tightly, an acknowledgement of his emotions and his words, while steering the conversation back to happier topics.

“You’re right,” He laughs, “you caught me.”

“Come on,” You nudge him again, pushing down the little swell of emotion that his words brought up.

“He’s not really a selfie guy,” Wooyoung slides his finger across his phone screen until he finds Instagram and then navigates to his new man’s page, “but, I don’t know, I think you’ll like his vibe.”

Your face cracks into a wide smile when you see the profile, clearly that of an artist, a photographer. The first post on his page is of Wooyoung, though you’d have to know Wooyoung well to know it. He’s walking away from camera through a dark Itaewon street, the lines of his body accented by the neon club signs.

“Oh, Woo,” You relax against him and open that photo to see it larger, “he really likes you,”

He snatches the phone away, a little pink in his cheeks as he rushes to downplay the truth of what you can see plain as day, and you fight to get back the phone, your cheeks starting to hurt from how much you’ve been laughing.

You and Wooyoung stay like this for ages, warmly locked together as you swap stories and funny things on both your phones. By the time your phone chimes with another text from Mingi, at least two hours have gone by.

Almost home! His message reads.

Your chest feels warm, your heart whole at the words.

“They’ll be back in a minute,” You tell Wooyoung as you set your phone aside.

“Perfect,” He grins, “so exactly how much teasing can I get away with before you get mad?”

You fall apart again into laughter, happy tears stinging at your eyes. You don’t hear the front door open at first, but when you finally look up you see them standing frozen in the doorway with such softness in their expressions. You feel the words bubble up at the sight of them, but again they stay resting at the tip of your tongue.

Wooyoung rolls his eyes and pushes off the couch, “Alright, alright stop making heart eyes at each other and tell me what’s in the box,”

Your eyes flick down to the large white box in Mingi’s hand, the perfect cheesecake nestled inside waiting just for you. Wooyoung takes a few grocery bags out of their hands and heads off to the kitchen, and just like that your night falls together naturally.

You don’t think about Minseok again until later that night. For a beautiful, blissful four hours you just laughed and ate and relaxed with your best friend and your boyfriends, and he doesn’t enter your brain at all.

It isn’t until you’re lying in bed alone with your thoughts, Yunho and Mingi deep asleep on either side of you, that you realize what you have to do.

In the morning you wake from a dreamless sleep, and you start to put your plan in motion. You slip out of bed and leave them to their rest, light only just stretching its way through the Seoul skies outside. Seeing Wooyoung made you feel lighter in a way that you can’t explain, and within minutes you’re scrawling out a note, stealing Mingi’s key, and lacing up your sneakers.

Out for a walk, be back in a little while, don’t worry too much x

You leave it on their kitchen counter and you hope it’s enough to keep them from looking for you. You need a little space from your own scared reflection in the mirror, and a new perspective on the plan you’ve been turning over since your head hit the pillows last night.

The note isn’t a lie, strictly speaking, you are out for a walk, but you also know if you told them exactly where you were on a walk to, they'd worry. They wouldn’t just worry, they would have insisted on coming with you, but this is something you have to do alone.

You take the long way to the hospital down the river path, letting the cool day calm your mind and keep you centered. You go over in your mind all the things you want to say to him when you see him, assuming you actually make it into his room. You wonder how hard it will be to convince him. You wonder if you’ll even be able to get a single word out of your mouth.

You have to try.

Yunho’s words from yesterday morning in the kitchen sink into you. The tenderness in his eyes when he mentioned how jumpy you’ve been around the apartment. You hadn’t even realized it, but now you feel it in your shoulders and your stomach with the sound of every opening door, every squeak of a shoe on vinyl flooring. Everytime you look up into a mirror you expect to see a face over your shoulder, to feel hands on your hips.

Minseok had taken so many little things from you in the span of three minutes.

You need to take something back.

Every step leading into the hospital is heart pounding and nerve wracking, stress inducing on a level you’ve never experienced, but standing in front of reception you suddenly feel an overwhelming calm. Your mind is clear, operating on something wholly unconscious and you don’t know where you’ve mustered this feeling from, but you let it take you.

You give over Minseok’s full name and provide the kindest smile you can to the woman behind the desk,“I’m his sister,” you tell her. The lie rolls right off your tongue, so clean and easy you surprise yourself.

“Oh,” The nurse nods, “well visiting hours don’t start until eleven,”

“I have work,” You counter, softening your face, “I’m sorry, but do you think you could make an exception? I’ll be very quick, I just want to see him for a few minutes before I have to run,”

She considers it, and you know you have her the minute she checks the nurse’s station to see who else is there with her before she breaks a rule, “Alright, but just be quick, five minutes,”

“Thank you so much,” You smile, “really, you’re so kind,”

She waves you off, glancing around her again, “He’s in 305, the third door down on your left when I open the doors,”

“Thank you,”

She presses a button on the wall and the lock springs free, opening the heavy security door to your side. With one last smile and deeply grateful bow, you slip through the door and make it through into the hospital hallway where you are most definitely not supposed to be.

Third door on the left.

You have to be quick, not so you don’t get caught, but so you don’t chicken out. If you stand in this hallway and let yourself really think about what you’re doing, you’ll turn right around and go home. Steeling yourself, you rush forwards and find the door to 305 and with a deep breath you slip inside.

Private rooms are expensive, that thought occurs to you as you shut the door tightly behind you. That fact, plus the reality that he’s already talking about pressing his own charges, tells you Seonghwa was right, he has some kind of family money. You hope that when you turn around and actually face the room you won’t have to contend with his mother or father or god forbid some girlfriend you know nothing about. You need him to be alone.

Blissfully, the room is quiet, the only sounds are medical and simple. With your palms flat against the door you take a deep breath, and if Minseok is awake he says nothing, makes no sound, while you gather the nerve to do this.

Finally, you turn.

He is awake, studying you with a careful expression, but then your eyes flick over him. He’s more than injured, he’s completely incapacitated. You catalog it all quickly - his leg suspended in an elevating sling, ankle wrapped up tight, wrist sprained and in a brace, his face is bruised and battered and you realize in seconds that his broken jaw is wired shut. He has an oxygen cannula tucked into his bandaged nose, and you remember that his ribs are broken too.

You wonder which of your boys delivered each piece of punishment.

Your mouth feels dry, and your pulse is quickening, the sight of him so close is enough to induce panic but he can’t really do anything to you in this state so you have to just be brave. You push yourself off the wall and walk to the end of his hospital bed, “Hey,”

He gestures to his jaw and shrugs to communicate that he can’t really talk.

“I know,” You nod, “I heard.”

It’s strange to be here with him like this when last week you were working side by side. It’s bizarre to suddenly feel this bubble of uncomfortable space and distance, and to feel the fear underneath it all.

He gestures towards you with his bandaged hand and you know he’s asking why you’re here.

“I heard about the counter charges,” You came here with a purpose and you have to stick to it, “and I came here to ask you to drop them.”

He shakes his head and looks down at himself and then back up to you.

“After what you did?” Anger curls up in your belly, “I think they took it pretty easy on you.”

He huffs, a puff of air from his closed lips.

“Listen,” You try, “you and I both know what you tried to do, and whatever your excuse is, it doesn’t matter. If they hadn’t gotten you off me… I guess what I’m saying is do the right thing now. You said you were sorry, just drop these charges and we can all move on.”

His eyes harden and he shakes his head.

You thought he was apologetic after, coming to his senses and realizing in the haze of his rut he almost broke someone’s mind, but now you’re starting to think he was just pleading for his own beating to stop.

“You won’t consider it?” You ask, stomach clenching tightly.

He shakes his head again and points to his injuries. Jaw, ribs, leg.

You want to hit him yourself, so suddenly that your fingers curl tight into fists, “You tried to fucking claim me because I wouldn’t go out on a date with you, and you think you’re the victim here?”

He seems irritated by your question, and he reaches for something on the tray table to his side. He pulls up a small whiteboard and marker, clearly given to him by hospital staff to communicate, and he wipes away the words that were there to write out his message to you.

I’m the one in a hospital bed.

“You bastard,” The words just slip out, “why do you think? They put you here for a fucking reason, Minseok,”

He wipes the message away and writes something else.

Keep your alphas on a leash.

You’ve never understood the phrase ‘seeing red’ before, but now it’s meaning is crystal clear, “You should keep yourself on a leash.”

He huffs.

“Using tone to submit an omega is illegal, Minseok,” You round the corner of the bed, “the prison time for something like that is long. It’s not even just assault, I think that’s something like three or four years? But using tone… claiming against an omega’s will? That’s irreparable damage. I wonder how many charges they’d stack on top in court? Psychological trauma? Sexual assault?”

His eyes darken and he wipes the board again, his marker squeaking roughly against it as he angrily writes out the next message.

I never touched you like that.

“You would have,” You shake your head, “as soon as I was your nice obedient omega and couldn’t say no.”

He stares daggers, but says nothing.

“They might be able to prove intent,” You tell him, “throw a few more years on top for good measure. How old do you think you’ll be when they let you out? Do you think a dance studio would hire a forty year old man?”

His face pales, he looks sick suddenly.

“You’ll drop the charges,” You tell him, “and when you do, I’ll drop mine.”

His eyes widen.

“You’ll never set foot in the studio again, and you’ll go find another job somewhere else.”

His eyes skim over you, trying to gauge your honesty.

“Do you understand me?” You don’t know what’s possessing you, what’s holding you up so you can get these words out, but you’ve never felt more sure.

He says nothing.

You lean in closer, close enough that if he was uninjured he could easily have you back in control, but with his jaw wired shut and his lack of mobility, he can’t do a thing. Nerves flutter up your body as you lean in, and you’re sure he can smell Yunho and Mingi on you, but the guarantee that he can’t touch you is filling you with a sick sense of power, of sure joy.

“You tried and you failed,” You tell him, and he huffs, “and that’s on you.”

His cheek twitches and you’re sure he’d be clenching his jaw if he could do it without exceptional pain.

“You’ll do this for me, you owe me,” You hold his gaze despite the flutter of fear it brings you, “and if you don’t, I don’t care what it takes. I’ll see you in court and if that doesn’t work, I’ll make sure that you never, ever get hired again. Every studio in Korea will know what you did, and every omega in Seoul will know what you really are, and if you ever get close to me again after today I’ll break your jaw myself.”

His eyes flick down.

“Do you understand me?” You repeat, enunciating clearly.

He nods once.

“Good,” You push back from him and get some distance, “get the charges against all of them dropped by tomorrow and I’ll call and withdraw mine. Don’t ever come back to the studio, if you left stuff there consider it gone.”

He holds your gaze, and then he writes out a question - How do I know you’ll keep your word?

“You don’t,” You shrug, “but I promise you I wouldn’t be here in this room with you at all if I wasn’t willing to drop them.”

He turns your words over.

“Minseok,” You sigh, “they mean more to me than watching you go to jail, please, just do the right thing.”

He wipes his hand again across the whiteboard and then he shifts, looking back up to you to nod in agreement.

“You’ll do it?”

He nods again and then picks the marker back up to write something.

“Don’t,” You stop him, “there’s nothing you can say I want to hear. Just do this and we’ll be done.”

He looks away and without meeting your eyes again, he nods.

“Don’t make me come back,” You press him, but he doesn’t respond and that will have to be enough. You’ve done what you came to do.

You’re out of his room in a flash, back through the security doors and quick past the front desk. You don’t spare a single glance at the nurse who broke the rules for you, you just need to get out of here before you let the reality of what you’ve done hit you sideways. You don’t let a single thing consume you until you’re out of the hospital and on the street again, and you sink down onto the first available bench.

Your heart is pounding, hands trembling. You need to get this under control before you go home because the last thing you want is to cause Yunho and Mingi anymore stress or heartache. You give yourself some time to come back into your body, to forget the hard set of Minseok’s eyes and the way his fingers twitched when you got too close, the way you fought the curling panic in your gut to get the words out.

When you do feel whole again, you order a taxi back. You’ve been gone a while, probably a little longer than they expected, and you hope they’re not worried.

Using Mingi’s borrowed key, you slip into the apartment and let their scents wash over you, soothing you instantly. You shut the door quietly behind you and toe off your shoes before calling out, “Is anyone home?”

You hear movement immediately, Mingi from the kitchen and Yunho from his bedroom and it fills you with warmth.

“Hey,” Mingi gets to the living room first, “how was your walk?”

“Really good,” You tell him, and that’s the truth. The walk itself was nice until you cut it short with your little errand.

“You look good,” He smiles, and Yunho appears from his side of the apartment as Mingi continues, “fresher,”

“Yeah,” You sigh, “it’s a beautiful morning out,”

“Hey,” Yunho says, smiling at the sight of you.

“I’m sorry I didn’t wake you,” You say, “I just wanted to clear my head a bit, so I hope you don’t mind that I borrowed your key,”

Mingi shakes his head as you hang his keyring up by the door.

“We’ll have to get one made for you,” Yunho says, “if you want,”

You let the implication of that lie and you nod, but excitement sparks in your belly.

“Is there any coffee?” You ask, moving into the apartment and heading towards the kitchen. You need to tell them where you’ve been, but you just need a breath before you can.

“Mhm,” Mingi says, “I just made a cup,”

“Oh,” You shake your head, “I don’t want to take yours, I’ll make my own.”

“No, no,” He slides behind you and presses a kiss to your hair as he does, “take it, I’ll make another. Yunho, do you want one?”

“I’m good,” He replies, coming to stand next to you at the small kitchen island.

Mingi looks like he’s thinking about something as he finishes off your cup of coffee and throws an electric kettle back on to make another pourover, but Yunho draws your attention away.

“Jagi,” He starts, “I don’t mean to… well, can we talk to you about something?”

“Sure,” You angle towards him, his words making you a little nervous, “is everything okay?”

“Absolutely,” He assures you, brushing his hand down the length of your arm, “but Mingi and I were talking while you were gone, about how to handle everything with these charges,”

“Oh,” His timing is impeccable.

“We just want to include you,” He says, squeezing your hand, “and make sure we’re handling things the way we should, but it might be smart to try and hire a lawyer before this goes any further,”

You’re not sure how you’re supposed to say this.

“We talked to Seonghwa and he agrees,” Yunho continues, “this will be the easiest way to protect all of us,”

“Yunho,” You start, “hang on,”

“If this is upsetting we can talk about it later,” Yunho adds, “but Seonghwa has some connections through his parents, he wants to make some calls.”

Your stomach twists at the idea of Seonghwa needing to lean on a favor from his parents, and every choice you made that morning becomes perfectly validated with just that thought. You would never, ever let him do that, not after everything he’s done for you.

“It’s not upsetting,” You assure Yunho, trying to interject, “I just don’t think that will be necessary,”

“Getting a lawyer?” He clarifies.

“Yeah,” You swallow hard and glance at Mingi, “I don’t think we’ll need to.”

“I mean, having representation would be best,” Yunho says, “I know it’s stressful, but we need to be careful,”

“Right,” You sigh, needing him to give you a breath to explain, “that’s if there’s a suit,”

“Well sure, but,” Yunho starts but the penny drops for Mingi.

“Tell me you didn’t,” Mingi turns to you fully and the words die on Yunho’s lips as he plays catch up.

You stay quiet, holding his gaze, but when you let out a soft breath he sets his coffee back down.

“y/n,” Mingi says, voice serious and leaving Yunho visibly more and more confused, “tell me you didn’t do what I think you did.”

“I took care of it,” You settle on the most neutral words you can.

“No,” He shakes his head, “you can’t just say that, you have to give us more than that.”

“I was planning on it,” You push past Yunho to approach Mingi, resting your hands on his upper arms as you get closer into his space, “I swear, you just guessed it too fast,”

“You smell like the hospital,” He explains, his nose crinkled up.

“Whoa, whoa,” Yunho finally catches up, “why were you at the hospital?”

You just have to say it, “I talked to Minseok,”

“Absolutely not,” Yunho pushes around the island and closer to you, “are you insane?”

“He’s completely incapacitated,” You tell them both, “he couldn’t have touched me even if he wanted to,”

“Yes, but you didn’t know that!” Yunho presses, his voice running high in surprise, but you can see he’s doing his best to keep level and cool.

“Look at me,” You settle him, “do I look hurt? Upset?”

“No,” He admits with a puff of dejected air.

“Am I myself?” You take both their hands in yours.

“Yes,” Mingi admits.

“Okay,” You sigh, “now stop freaking out and listen to me, because I promise you I’m perfectly fine,”

Mingi nods once, and Yunho stays silent, which is enough for you to do what you need to do.

“I went there to talk him out of the charges he’s filing,” You explain, “and I guess… I just wanted to understand what he did, so I wanted to talk to him.”

“And?” Yunho prompts.

“He’s an asshole,” You start.

“Did he touch you?” Mingi asks, his voice a little tight and thready, “Say anything to you?”

“No,” You promise, tugging him closer until his hands are properly on you, “come here,”

“You can tell us if he did,” Yunho’s fingertips stroke a gentle pattern over the back of your neck, “we’re not angry, we just want to help,”

“Speak for yourself, I still want to kill him,” Mingi says sharply.

“Hey,” Yunho nudges him, “chill,”

“Both of you relax,” You interject and they fall silent, “he didn’t do anything, he couldn’t even talk, his jaw is fully wired shut,”

Yunho huffs a laugh, “Good,”

You smile, “Honestly, he looked pretty pathetic,”

“He is pretty pathetic,” Mingi points out.

“Right,” You sigh, “well, aside from some choice words written out on a whiteboard, he didn’t have much to say or do. I explained that if he didn’t drop his charges things would be much worse for him in the long run… and he saw reason.”

“He agreed to that?” Mingi’s eyes go wide.

“Mhm,”

“Why?” Yunho’s brows draw together, “Not out of the goodness of his heart, I assume,”

“No,” You shake your head, “but when I tell you, I need you both to promise me you won’t be angry.”

“That’s unfair,” Yunho says.

“Just say it,” Mingi nods, “we won’t know until we know.”

You chew the inside of your lip as you search for the right way to say this, and you know they’ll be upset no matter what, but they deserve honesty. You nod, “I agreed to drop my charges if he drops his,”

They’re silent, deathly silent.

“y/n,” Yunho swallows tightly as he gets his voice even, “why would you do that?”

“He didn’t want to listen to me at first,” You explain, “and I thought it through on the walk. That’s the only piece of leverage we have right now,”

“But he did something wrong, he should be held accountable,” Mingi exclaims, taking a full step away from you and running a hand through his hair.

“You heard the questions the police asked me,” You interject, “how close was I to my next heat? Did I know Minseok was in pre-rut? Why did I stay in the room if he was making me uncomfortable? What was I wearing?”

“But it wasn’t your fault,” Yunho insists, “he used tone, that’s fucking illegal,”

“I said he used tone,” You counter quietly, “but he’ll say he didn’t and he’ll say I got confused or misunderstood. He’ll use our relationship against you both, and my relationship with Seonghwa to paint… a very particular kind of picture about me. We all know what he did but I’m telling you, legally? We’re on the losing side,”

“But,” Mingi shakes his head, “that’s…”

“I know,” You nod, “believe me, I know.”

“You should have taken us with you,” Yunho says quietly, “we could have talked to him for you,”

You shake your head, “No,” you need them to understand, “you got to hit him… you got to do something, I didn’t get to do anything but be fucking scared,”

His expression softens, “Oh,”

“You protected me when I needed you,” You feel tears welling up now at the thought of it, “it’s my turn to protect you,”

They’re so quiet, watching you carefully.

“Nothing is taking you away from me again,” You say it, plain and clear, “nothing is taking away you or my friends, I won’t let that happen,”

Mingi’s arms fold around you fast as he tucks you into his chest and you feel Yunho step close too, laying a warm palm on your back as he leans into you both.

“Whatever you want, we’ll do it,” Mingi murmurs, “okay?”

You nod, closing your eyes as you snuggle into the warmth of him.

“And we’ll handle it together,” Yunho says, “but don’t make this decision for us, make it for you. We,” Yunho’s voice trails, but then he clears his throat and says what he wants to say anyways, “we love you. No matter what happens,”

“I know,” You sigh, snaking an arm out of Mingi’s hold to find Yunho’s hand and tuck him a little closer too, “but I’m sure,”

“I hate to state the obvious here,” Mingi pulls back from you so he can look at you both, “but if he’s not charged with anything, then he’s a free man.”

That thought does make your stomach flip, but you knew that when you walked into the hospital room, “I know,”

“It’s your choice,” Mingi reiterates, “but I still don’t know if I’m comfortable taking that kind of risk with you.”

“I don’t even want to think about that,” Yunho says, his hands finding your shoulders as he tucks closer behind you.

The image of Minseok’s face when you asked about his dance career flickers through your mind and you smile, “I think he got the picture,”

“y/n,” Mingi’s voice is hesitant.

“I told him in no uncertain terms,” You can’t get the smile off your face now, “that if he came anywhere near me again I’d break his jaw myself.”

“You didn’t,” Yunho looks down to see your face.

“I did,” You nod, “and before you freak out again, please remember that I’m here and totally fine in front of you,”

Mingi gives you a truly withering look but lets you speak.

“Honestly,” You breathe, “you should have seen him, he was lying there and could barely move, and when he didn’t want to drop the charges at first, I kind of got in his face,”

Yunho’s hands tighten on your shoulders and Mingi scrubs a hand over his face, “Don’t tell me that,”

“But I did,” You press your palms flat against Mingi’s chest, “I told him that if he didn’t drop his charges he would never get rid of me, I told him I’d make his life hell, and he couldn’t even move. He couldn’t touch me,”

Mingi’s quiet, his eyes flicking up to Yunho behind you. Yunho sighs, dropping his forehead to rest against your hair and then his arms relax, wrapping around you from behind.

“I really hate this story,” Yunho says, “but I’m also really proud of you,”

“Me too,” Mingi’s hand closes over both of yours to give you a squeeze.

“I just wish you had told us,” Yunho admits.

“If I had told you I was going there you would have never let me go alone,” You point out.

“Exactly,” Yunho’s arms tighten.

You turn your head to press your lips to his arm where it wraps around your shoulder, and you nuzzle a little into his warm skin, “You know why I had to go though, right? You get it?”

He nods against your head.

Mingi smooths his hand up and down your forearm, “We do,”

“I just hate the thought of him seeing you again,” Yunho admits, lifting his head and readjusting you in his arms, “or being close to you at all,”

“I know,” You lean back into his embrace, “but this is the thing, he got to see me be fine after what he did,”

“And you got to see him,” Mingi puts two and two together with ease and nods, “and he looked pathetic?”

“More than that,” You smile, “he looked… afraid.”

“Good,” Mingi says firmly.

You remember the way he looked in that hospital bed, his eyes darting around the room. He shrank back when you got close, no doubt the scent of Yunho and Mingi lingering on your skin, and you smile up at them at the thought, “He was terrified my alphas were with me,”

Yunho’s lips quirk and he leans around you to meet your eyes, “He wasn’t afraid of us, sweetheart, he was afraid of you.”

“No,” You laugh that off, but they don’t join in and Mingi makes a funny expression at your words.

Yunho slides away, shoulder to shoulder with Mingi now as he looks down at you, “Yes, y/n,” he shakes his head, “he was vulnerable and alone and stuck in a hospital bed, and you’re…”

“A powerful fucking omega,” Mingi supplies.

Yunho nods, “And he knows that you could ruin the rest of his life.”

You don’t know what to say.

“y/n,” Mingi sighs, tugging you in until your bodies are close together, “if you ever do something that reckless again, I’ll lose my mind,”

You move to lift your head and push back, to keep trying to get him to understand why this was so important for you to do alone and why you made the choices you made, but he stops you short.

“But,” He adds, kissing the top of your head, “it was also very brave, and I love you for it.”

“Yeah?” You nudge him.

“Yeah,” He admits.

“I do wish I could have seen it,” Yunho grins, “that asshole scared of you,”

Mingi’s hands slide to your hips, tightening their grip and he swallows hard, “Our fierce little omega,”

A ripple of something needy and unexpected passes through your belly, “Is that what I am?”

Yunho steps closer, finding a home for his hands on your body too, “You called us your alphas,” he says softly, “isn’t that what we are?”

Mingi’s thumbs brush a warm steady pattern into your hips and you feel yourself melting into their hands, “Yes,”

“That makes you our omega, sweetheart,” Yunho eyes flick from yours to your lips.

The way they say omega to you doesn’t sound cold. It doesn’t sound cruel or commanding, no undertone of ownership despite the content of their words. When they say it all you hear is love.

“Say that again,” You murmur softly.

Mingi smiles, lifting his eyes to watch you.

Yunho dips closer, his lips dangerously close, “Our omega?”

You nod a little, heat flushing your cheeks.

“Our omega,” He repeats, pressing his lips to yours. He waits to make sure you want it, he waits to feel you twist in their arms and reach up for him, and then he lets his body follow his thoughts, lips opening and his tongue dipping into your mouth.

Mingi’s hand shifts, spreading wide over your lower belly, his fingertips at the waistband of your pants. You’re not ready for that, and you hope he doesn’t notice the way you twitched in his hands when he first adjusted his grip, but either way he makes no move to take anything further. Neither of them do. Despite Yunho’s lips on yours, and the breath between you both, his hands stay put on your back and your cheek while Mingi just holds you, patient and soft at your side.

When your lips break from Yunho, settling back down your heels after pushing up on tiptoe, Mingi uses his grip on you to spin you to face him, his mouth finding yours with ease.

You hum pleasantly against his mouth, your hands gripping his broad shoulders for balance.

“Ours,” Mingi murmurs between kisses, and then his hands spread to your backside, maneuvering you up into his arms in one quick motion, “you’re ours,”

You wrap your legs around his middle and sink into the kiss, “I’m yours,”

“Fuck, I missed you,” He mumbles between kisses, nuzzling your cheek with his nose.

You nod against him, stealing one more kiss before you lean back, still perched comfortably with your legs around his waist. You smooth a hand over Mingi’s cheek and then reach for your other lover to bring him close, drawing him in by the hand until he’s nestled against both of your sides. Yunho’s hand reaches around to cup under your thigh and you settle your own hand on the back of Yunho’s neck, fingers stroking the shaggy bottom of his dark hair.

“This is nice,” Mingi smiles a little, eyes flicking between you and Yunho.

Yunho nods, his free hand settling on Mingi’s back.

“I can’t believe I convinced myself that we weren’t scent sympathetic,” You sigh a small, unfunny laugh, “this just feels so right,”

“Knowing it and knowing it are two different things,” Mingi says, emphasizing the word.

“I guess so,”

“And it’s not like all scent matches work out,” Yunho adds, “we still have to work at it,”

You nod, relaxing into their hold, “I want that,”

“We do too,” Mingi squeezes your thigh a little with his wide hand.

It’s funny how different it all feels now than months ago during your first panicked heat here, how settled you are with everything. You glance between them and ask the obvious, “When we go back to work, what are we this time?”

“Pack,” Mingi says easily and your head snaps to his, eyebrows high.

“Mingi,” You blink at him, surprised at his easy reference to such a permanent state of being. Scent matches and compatibility is one thing, but pack is something so much more. All of it flickers in your mind - claims, bonds, tying you together permanently.

“Someday,” Yunho interjects smoothly, giving you a soft, reassuring kiss to the head, “far in the future, if you’ll have us.”

“Someday,” The word slips out of you like an agreement, and despite all the fears shared with Wooyoung earlier, you do want them like that. You want to someday be able to give each other that.

“Then we’re pack,” Mingi lights up at your words, “officially, unofficially, I don’t care. You’re with us, we’re with you.”

Your body fills with warmth, but you can feel your heart rate picking up.

Yunho smiles, “What did they used to call that back in the day?”

“Courting,” You fill in the blank for him, and the word feels strangely old fashioned considering the fact that you’ve already spent a heat with them. When packs were more common, groups of alphas would court compatible omegas until it was sure they were a good match in more ways than just scent. The implication then was something more akin to a modern engagement and you can’t believe after everything you’ve been through with these two men, this is the conversation you’re having suddenly so casually in their kitchen.

“Well,” Yunho laughs, “we don’t have to call it that,”

“We’re,” You trail off, trying to find the words, “dating?”

“Partners?” Yunho offers a slightly less casual word.

“Together,” Mingi cuts in, “that’s what we are. We’re your alphas, we belong to you, and you,” he draws you closer in his arms to press a soft kiss on your lips, “are our omega.”

“And at work?” You trail off.

“We’ll be ourselves,” Yunho suggests, “people probably already know after last week anyways,”

Mingi nods, dipping forward and pressing a kiss to your lips, “No more pretending we don’t mean something to each other,”

“No more pretending,” You shift in his arms, wrapping your arms properly around his shoulders so that you’re hugging each other tightly.

Mingi hums appreciatively, his breath warm against your hair and then he chuckles a little as he readjusts you in his arms, “Is it too fast if I start calling you yeobo, though? I feel like it suits you,”

You pull back from the hug, “We’re not married, Mingi,” you remind him, “and I didn’t hear a proposal,”

“You want to get proposed to, baby?” He teases and you shove his chest.

“Knock it off,” Yunho smacks the back of Mingi’s head, “our relationship doesn’t have to break the sound barrier,”

“I’m kidding,” Mingi squeezes you, shifting to take a few steps and deposit you on the kitchen counter before stepping back with a quick peck on your lips.

“Hmm,” Yunho rolls his eyes and slumps back against the counter next to you, one wide hand smoothing over your thigh, “we just got you back, I’d like to avoid scaring you off,”

“I’m not scared,” You shake your head, and as you say it, you realize it’s true. Six months ago you would have balked at Mingi’s veiled promise of his intentions, you would have told them all their hormones were mixed up and confused. You would have told yourself the same. It feels strange to feel completely at peace with the idea of a real someday with them.

Yunho’s eyebrow quirks up in a question at your words and Mingi grins, a little self satisfied.

“Actually,” You exhale heavily and straighten up, “I talked to Wooyoung yesterday and he helped me figure some things out,”

“Things?” Mingi asks.

“Um,” Your pounds in your chest, “yeah,”

Yunho gives you an encouraging squeeze to keep going.

You meet his eyes and take the leap, “Can you make that call? For me to talk with someone?”

He softens and nods, “I’ll do it first thing,”

“Okay,” You say, taking another deep breath, “then there’s one more thing to tell you,”

Mingi doesn’t say anything, but he steps back closer to you, resting his hand on your opposite thigh.

“It’s my turn to ask you to be patient,” You give them both an anxious, close lipped smile.

“We’re listening,” Mingi soothes you.

“Okay,” You take both their hands in yours, “here goes. The idea of bonding with you both is kind of sending me into a tailspin right now, and I’m terrified that it’s something I’m never going to get over. Wooyoung told me to talk to someone to work through that and I want to. I thought about it all day, and the truth is that I want to be with you both for as long as you’ll have me. You feel like you’re mine, now more than ever, and I’m scared, but I’m also scared of not trying,”

“And if I can be yours like this for now,” You continue, “without bonds like you said, pack even if it’s unofficial, then maybe I can work through this and make it official someday. I’m just scared your definition of ‘far in the future’ and my definition are different though, and I,”

“Fuck bonds,” Mingi interrupts, moving to cup both your cheeks and draw your eyes to his, “that shit doesn’t matter to me at all. We’re together by choice, not by claim. If you want my bite someday, I’ll give it to you, but you won’t ever hear me ask, alright? Never.”

“Me too,” Yunho’s hand brushes down your hair, coming to rest on the back of your neck, “as far as I’m concerned it’s secondary, I don’t care what anyone thinks. I’d sooner leave you than push you into a bond you aren’t ready for,”

You jolt forwards, throwing an arm around each of their shoulders and nearly slipping off the counter when you do, but they hold you steady as you pull them in.

“We just want you,” Mingi’s rough, low voice murmurs, “just this.”

You feel their warmth, the steady thrum of each of their heartbeats, their scents curling around you like a safe, easy memory. The words find themselves right on the tip of your tongue again, only this time, this time they come.

“I love you,” You take in a sharp, emotional breath as you get yourself together, overwhelmed by their words, “I love you both so much,”

Yunho dips back to find your mouth, locking his lips on yours and sighing a breath of true relief against your mouth, “I love you too, sweetheart,”

Mingi redirects your gaze with his fingers on your jaw the moment Yunho starts to lean back and he kisses you hard, leaving you gripping his shirt for balance, “I love you,”

“God,” You smile, every part of your body alight with joy, “I think we might be crazy, but I don’t care,”

“Good,” Yunho glances between you both, “because I think I’m having a crazy idea,”

“What idea?”

“Move in,” He blurts out, and he can’t stop smiling, “fuck giving you a key, fuck calling you our girlfriend. Move in properly, be ours. If we’re together, let’s be together, we’ve lost enough time,”

“Who’s moving fast now?” Mingi says, but he’s smiling too.

Everything in your body feels right, feels safe. You’ve been calling this home for days, and you’ve been calling them yours in your head for so much longer.

You’re nodding before your mouth can catch up with your brain, “Okay, okay, yes, let’s do it,”

Yunho pulls you up into his arms and holds you close, peppering kisses across your temple, “We’ll figure everything else out later, but at least we’ll be together,”

“Thank God,” You melt into his embrace, meeting Mingi’s eyes over Yunho’s shoulder, “because I really didn’t want to leave,”

“No leaving this time,” Mingi smiles softly as Yunho nods his head against yours.

“Mm-mm,” You shake your head, agreeing with his words.

“We’ll get everything from your place as soon as we can, make it official,” Mingi adds.

You nod, and then a thought occurs to you, “Is there even enough room for me here?”

Yunho unwraps himself from around you and nods, “We’ll need a bigger bed,”

“For a start,” Mingi nods, “and you need a nest,”

“Yeah?” Your very own nest, a real one.

“Oh, babe,” Mingi finds your hand, tugging you in, “you’re about to get fucking spoiled, anything you want, we’ll figure it out.”

“You don’t have to, I just want to be here,” You tell them.

“Doesn’t matter,” Yunho says, “we’ve waited for you for so long,”

“Too long,” Mingi wraps his arms around you both, “way too long,”

It doesn’t matter anymore what pushed you into their arms, what kind of day you’ve had, everything you’ve had to get through. Not a thing in the world matters but this choice, the safe home of their arms, three of you against the world like it was always meant to be.

#this night together fic #honeyhotteoks fics #honeyhotteoks updates #ateez fic #ateez ff #ateez series #yunho x reader #mingi x reader #yungi x reader #yunho fic #yunho ff #mingi fic #mingi ff #yungi fic #yungi ff #yungi series

490 notes · View notes

invisibleicewands · 3 months

Text

Bringing revolution to Port Talbot - by Michael Sheen

On a recent February morning, I woke up to find I was wrong. Not a particularly uncommon experience in itself, but unusual to discover that on this occasion I was being publicly accused of it by the Secretary of State for Business and Trade. “Michael Sheen has said that ‘the people of Port Talbot have been let down’,” Kemi Badenoch wrote in the Daily Mail. “But he is wrong.”

It was a big day. I spent all of last year directing a three-part drama series for the BBC called The Way, which was to air that night. It begins in my hometown of Port Talbot, where a strike at the local steelworks becomes the spark that ignites a violent descent into national chaos. Clearly, Ms Badenoch had been given a sneak peek of the series before forming quite a strong opinion on it. But no: reading her article, Ms Badenoch admits that she hadn’t watched it at all. Why let a total lack of information prevent a full-throated denouncement, eh? Presumably, she also assumes that we managed to write, film and edit the entire series after Tata Steel announced the imminent loss of some 2,500 jobs at the steelworks mere weeks ago.

While the winds of change have only been blowing in one direction for many years, the events in our story were dreamed up some years ago and act as a fictional catalyst for all that follows. Surely even Tory ministers understand there is no VIP fast lane for making a TV series. This isn’t a PPE contract, after all…

Nothing to see here

After that episode aired, it occurred to me that such shenanigans in the right-wing press could have been about a couple of things. Since the ITV drama about the Post Office scandal, Mr Bates vs The Post Office, caused public outrage, I imagine the government has a new fear of the impact a TV show can have. A pre-emptive strike against a series it perceives to be criticising its actions around the steel industry must have seemed a useful tactic. And, having seen Breathtaking – based on Rachel Clarke’s memoir of how the Covid crisis unfolded in the NHS, which aired on ITV the same night as The Way – I wonder if her piece was an attempt to distract attention away from more dangerous territory.

It gave Ms Badenoch a chance to trot out her line about how the people of Port Talbot should be grateful for all that the government is doing to save the steel industry, not moaning about the impact job losses will have on their community. But the people of Port Talbot have been let down, no matter what Ms Badenoch wants us to think. Not by any single entity, but by years of neglect. That she immediately assumed my comments referred to her and her government tells its own story. In the words of a much older drama than mine: the lady doth protest too much, methinks.

Then and Nye

“This crisis is a privateering racket with your friends lining their pockets!” No, not an accusation against Boris Johnson, but something I currently say to Winston Churchill every night. We opened a new play called Nye at the National Theatre this week. I play Aneurin (“Nye”) Bevan, who attacks the prime minister for turning a wartime crisis into a money-making scheme for him and his cronies. It’s one of many moments in the play that seem to speak to past and present at the same time.

The entanglement of “now” and “then” is heightened by the fact that I am wearing pyjamas. Nye is lying unconscious in his hospital bed at the end of his life, and we follow him through a dream of his past. He wanders from childhood memories of overcoming his stutter in Tredegar library to his meteoric rise through local politics, to becoming the youngest member of Clement Attlee’s pioneering postwar cabinet. And, of course, as minister for health, his tumultuous birthing of the NHS on 5 July 1948. It’s an extraordinary, surprising and moving experience telling this story on stage each night. That shared space between actors and audience, where all is felt but unseen, crackles with electricity.

Once more, with feeling

It seems that exploring the motives of politicians, the uses and abuses of political power, and the quest for justice that saw the creation of the NHS taps into deep wells of emotion. Like the pockets of gas that miners feared within the coal seam, their release brings risk and reward. At a recent show, we had three instances of people needing to be helped out of the theatre, the final one forcing us to pause the show moments from its end. Thankfully, it was nothing more serious than someone fainting. But emotions are running high.

I’m more than happy to invite Ms Badenoch to a performance. But I realise, of course, there’s no guarantee she would make it to the end.

#Michael Sheen #The Way #Port Talbot #politics #Nye #the man knows how to write

165 notes · View notes

sleepynegress · 9 months

Text

A COMPREHENSIVE & AUTHENTIC UHURA LOVE/HISTORY POST

The above is where Roddenberry 1st employed Nichelle Nichols [click to watch the full clip]. It was a military show based on Roddenberry's own experiences, the episode is called To Set it Right (I highly suggest reading the wiki article about it).

You should note two other actors, whom he later pegged for Star Trek are in the episode.

They dated briefly and then became good friends way before Trek came about.

Miss Nichols was already an accomplished singer and dancer who performed regularly w/ Billy Eckstine and Duke Ellington

Roddenberry's 1st show, The Lieutenant, was canceled/pulled from the air before these scenes bluntly dealing with racism could air (there's blackface as punishment for the racists at the end of the show, in a case of 'he 'a little confused but got the spirit' for the times, so tw)

He created Star Trek to try to soften the blow of all the social messaging he wanted to insert from his military experience. Star Trek was basically, a submarine drama placed in a sci-fi setting. He made it diverse on purpose because the military helped him travel and serve with all kinds of people. Roddenberry was inspired by that.

Uhura was the first person to read for Spock and in fact, helped to shape the character with her reading and based many of the traits of Uhura (formerly Uhuru) on Spock.

She was basically a glorified secretary. She played the part with poise, joy, and the 60's style womanism she got to play out for those times... Everything from her mini-skirt (which Nichelle herself called very comfortable) to her smile, and teasing lines, and quips were about her playing "big" in a small role. She made every moment, every look, every line, and movement count:

Roddenberry cracked jokes about the fact that the network never figured out that Uhura was fourth in command.

Nichelle was the only main cast member who was not salaried. She was paid by the hour. This attempt at marginalization actually resulted in her being the highest paid at times, because of the long hours.

Nichelle was not let in the front entrance at times, her fan-mail was kept from her, and she grew frustrated with the constant cutting of her scenes, lines and storylines. This is why she justifiably attempted to leave. The bigots in production did not like her being there (and if we're being real, were it not for Janice Rand's actress Grace Lee Whitney having gone through so much and thus losing her job in the 1st season...Uhura might have had even LESS presence)

The lost context in MLK convincing her to stay was that YES she was minimized and could make more money and be more fulfilled on broadway, but her symbolism and presence meant so much at a time when Black women weren't on TV unless as a racist caricature cleaning a house, and even that was rare...that she stayed.

One of her best allies was DeForest Kelly, who threatened to quit if they fired Nichelle. George Takei was her absolute best friend on the show and in life (she served as his Best Woman at his wedding).

There was an unfilmed episode in which Uhura and Deforest would have played reverse roles in "racial dynamics" on a planet they visit

Spock and Uhura were originally supposed to kiss in the alien mind control episode, but Shatner demanded to do so for the publiicity.

Her work to recruit marginalized people as astronauts, as in personally going to colleges and talking to candidates after the show is a staggering achievement that arguably is the most potent of any castmember in any of the Trek series post-show. Sally Ride, Guy Bluford (she personally recruited the 1st woman and 1st black astronaut), Mae Jemison (the 1st black woman credits her for inspiring her to become an astronaut).

Uhura did finally command the ship in the animated series. She would not have gotten to voice the role, but for Leonard Nimoy making it an obligation that all the original actors voice their parts for him to come on.

Scotty and Uhura in the film was definitely a pair the spares situation, in which both were the leftover senior citizens with the writers just going "why not?"

it was beyond insulting and she did protest about the scene where she's bumbling through a giant translation book to speak to klingons for laughs in trek 5 ...but her best moment IMO is her pulling a gun on the young ensign in the transporter room in Trek 3...sadly her ONLY scene in the damn movie.

Miss Saldana got to play to MANY corrections in JJ Abrams rebooted Trek, from being amazing at languages to having an actual life & love, to confidently turning down Kirk at every turn.

FUN FACT!! Both JJ and Bob Orci both expressed disappointed shock that the love story between Spock & Uhura got more hatred from fans than BLOWING UP PLANET VULCAN.

another FUN FACT!! The love story between Spock & Uhura is what grabbed the old school Star Wars fan (JJ Abrams) enough to come aboard to direct. Yep. JJ ships Spock & Uhura.

Zoe's iteration became the 1st version of Uhura to speak confidently in Klingon

Celia Rose Gooding becoming Uhura brings around a lot of Uhura's qualities full circle, IMO. As she is also from theatre (like Nichelle) and has a beautiful singing voice as well as the charm. Zoe's iteration was sharper, and much more protective, professional, & mature, about her life and love.

Celia Rose has the youthful curiousity and stars in her eyes and had vulnerability from her first intro... I loved the eagerness the crew showed to being in her orbit, seeing the glow of her talent and being drawn to that, to have a part in nurturing that.

As I've said... Celia IMO has the most dazzling smile, giant warm brown eyes, fantastic curves, and an energy that feels essentially Uhura, & that is all light, joy, a bit of uncertainty, -from the light singing (!) and the growth to her joy in discovery... I'd love to see her writing move away from serving and be more about her wants needs and growing in friendships/loves.

But Celia is a gift and is perfectly cast.

Essentially Uhura = femininity, graceful carriage, gorgeous smile, excellence in engineering and translation (canon!), ability to sing and play the Vulcan lyre, sharp womanist wit, love for her U.S. of African-Kenyan culture and being beloved by all crew...

When Miss Celia hummed those gorgeous notes to the alien entity on that comet?? That Solidified that she IS Uhura IMO.

I 100% think they fucked up by killing Hemmer, because that mentor-mentee relationship was giving marginalized coming together and bonding over everybody else's bullshit and I was here for it...it was giving me Data and Geordi updated...and since then, IMO they've lost track and given us the same kinda backwards wingwoman role BS, that people who like to pretend to be her fan shoehorn her into.

...but I have high hopes that they'll course-correct.

All this to say ALL OF THE ABOVE is Uhura and anyone calling her ugly, bossy, pushy, annoying, whatever is just sad little hater who doesn't know wtf they are talking about.

#uhura #celia rose gooding #zoe saldana #nichelle nichols #nyota uhura #star trek #star trek 2009 #st: snw #star trek: strange new worlds #star trek strange new worlds #strange new worlds #meta #anti-misogynoir #see how easy it is to talk up Uhura w/o pretending the only reason she's allowed to be is to get two dudes together?#see how easy it is to post something about who she is beyond a photo and just claiming she's your fave?#Youtube #another tidbit is that my man karl urban who gave the most direct and authentic playing of his reiteration IMO...#IS a true trekkie who spoke up for canon moments Spock and Uhura share in TOS when they got questions about Spock/Uhura in the reboot #p.s. yall got scammed by the gofundme for nichelle #her son moved her to new mexico and sold her house out from under the grifter because he was squatting there #yall just gave that fanclub lady free money #fanclub lady was making her work and sign autographs through dementia for the grift too #note yall aint see where 70k went since her passing have you?#sadly

323 notes · View notes

meatballlady · 30 days

Text

Thoughts/Questions about ambiguous wording in GOS2: Looking Where the Furniture Isn't (somewhat unorganized) (also biased towards episodes I rewatch more)

PSA to not tag/ask Neil about any of this!! Metas/speculation are for the fans, not for the writers/production team.

Episode 1

"I worked very closely with upstairs on it" what/who is "upstairs"?

Why does Aziraphale have so much more knowledge than angel Crowley? Aziraphale has seen the plans and knows about the Earth and humans and Crowley doesn't at all (is this future Aziraphale with og Crowley? going back in time)

"Most of it [isn't] visible from earth" this implies there's more that Crowley knows about than we do, but does this mean anything?

Misspelling of urgency - This must mean something, otherwise why dedicate screentime to it?? Is Maggie possessed? I always get caught on this.

"I got your note" is that the same note we read?

Why aren't Maggie's internet orders not coming? What is that?

Why hasn't Maggie brought this up before? It doesn't seem urgent. Is she angling for an invitation? a welcome?

Shostakovich symphony is not 21 minutes, yet Aziraphale calls that out.

Repeated line - "i brought your mail"

"Hell doesn't care how jobs get done" "yeah I remember, they just care that somebody does them" look this whole scene is a book reference, but this line does it mean Crowley has been helping Shax out?

Crowleys "it's all rather pointless" line. It... I mean we know he thinks this already. It sounds very out of place. Is he trying to get a read on Shax's opinion? Is this a future scene? Is there a separate plotline that's hopeless that we're missing?

"Something's going down in the up" - weird wording, never addressed.

"Through your contact in the bookshop" who is the contact? Which bookshop?

Beginning of last movement is when Gabriel knocks - when is 21 minutes before that?

"Where here is and who you are and who I am" is this significant?

"I'm not saying anyone is complicit... if anyone is found helping him..." Then just says "book of life" - maybe those are two separate things?

Also! Michael never specifies Gabriel. "helping HIM" could refer to anyone.

Why tinking sound coming from Aziraphale so much? Pocket watch or something else?

No really, what is the Something Terrible?

"Terrible" and "Awful" used to mean... AWE full. like Great and Terrible. is that something?

What thing does Jimbriel have to give Aziraphale? Aziraphale only assumes it's the box but what is it?

"arms were aching because I had to carry that box for so long" 1. How long? are we missing something? 2. Is this the same box we see, or a different one?

When Aziraphale says "you aren't Gabriel" Jim responds, "then WHAT am I?" not who am I?

later he asks "what box?" and much later Aziraphale asks the same thing. Maybe they mean "which box of the ones we know about" and not "box, what do you mean, box?"

"something CLEVER you did before you pop" vs "it's nice to tell someone about the GOOD things I've done, now that I'm not reporting to Heaven" which one is it - clever or good? Does it matter?

Why isn't Aziraphale forthcoming about needing to discuss things outside of the bookshop when they're having coffee?

Why does Maggie leave her shop open when she goes to get a coffee?

Aziraphale's blinds are not closed during coffeeshop conversation, but it looks like a/c have only just walked in during next scene!!

Why is Crowley so careful to be ambiguous about talking about the execution, and then later just tells Jim? I noticed the bug (Real Gabriel) seems to be in the room with them during the e1 conversation. Maybe he and Jim are alone during the e5 conversation.

Why does Crowley get so publicly angry? Seems a bit ooc to me tbh

Why did Maggie/Nina's phones stop working?

"There is, of course, no question of replacing the surpreme archangel" Does that mean that they're definitely going to replace them or definitely not going to replace them??

"Heaven does not have a supreme archangel" ... "There is ALWAYS a Supreme Archangel" "Yes, and who is that?" oof. Yes who is the supreme archangel? why always?? they aren't in Heaven but they exist

Why didn't they think he'd gone to Earth before seeing the matchbox?

Crowley mentions Beelzebubs new face - he hasn't seen them since before they started dating Gabriel

Crowley does seem very convincing that he thinks extreme sanctions mean nothing

Crowley does do a Miracle on the traffic light

There are writing noises after Crowley comes in to apologize and says "you were right" for the first time. Also at the end of the dance there are shuffling noises.

Does Crowley really do the apology dance for trying to get away from Gabriel? A/C never specify. What was Crowley "wrong" about?

Crowley does say "let's hide him until we sort this all out"... "while we figure out what's *actually* going on"

"and now I have two friends" does Jim actually count Crowley in that or is he referring to other(s)?

We make sure nobody notices he's here while we "sort all this out"? Aziraphale is confused that he says "together"

move the miracle dials? Does this mean anything or just worldbuilding?

"short for James but people call me a lot of different things" ooh like what?

Aziraphale TOTALLY knows about Shax! Crowley's like, "you'll never guess who Shax asked about" They're 100% on the same page

Is the alarm the "awooga" noise????????!!!!?!!?

"There's a FORMER angel in this up to his bookshop owning neck"

So Mx. Anthony J'"compelled to walk on the grass instead of the path" Crowley respected the "This way up" sign for a whole week? 🙃

Episode 2

Gabriel personally witnessed Eve's birth? Does this have significance?

"absolutely I made an ass of myself" Are we missing something here? Is she just nervous? Or is.. like what??

Aziraphale gives a Look when Maggie says they were locked in the coffee shop last night. Was that significant?

"Right now I'm a bit out of miracles" - what?

There's a lack of using "bad" to mean good in hell, etc.

Love that Aziraphale implies that Maggie being his tenant has something with an obligation to be involved with her love life

Crowley also said they need to talk about last night's miracle. Why?

Aziraphale specifies the "Gabriel" miracle. idk is that something?

"we've got a problem and it's in your bookshop right now" is this the problem we know about? Crowley seems to think the love thing isn't the big deal

"amd there is an actual mystery associated with that song and That is the clue" i feel like this isnt exactly the same thing as what it actually is.? Does that mean the song is the clue or does it mean that the mystery itself is a clue? Does it matter?

"three nice people in the shop just now... they were in the shop. just now." like just now just now? like while they were in the pub??

"nah you can do better than that" has a miracle noise after??

Was Gabriel's first memory "when the morningstar sang together and all the angels shouted for joy"? or was their first memory God *saying* that? Also is it Gabriel we're talking to here?

Who are Keziah's "usual" angels?

love the detail that Job says "i loved my children" and immediately starts crying whereas sitis doesn't believe it at first. Job really does have faith.

Episode 3

Is their private discussion we see the same one Muriel is talking about?

"The miracle we seem to have accidentally performed" did they accidentally perform a large miracle, or was the miracle only "seemingly" an accident?

Do devices just bend to Aziraphale's whim like that, or is there another weird thing going on?

Aziraphale says "dr dalrymple" and Crowley corrects to Mr. Is that something?

when Aziraphale calls Crowley he says hes found "clues" plural

is it significant that Crowley hasn't done rain in a while?

"you have the advantage on me" does she? is Aziraphale humoring her?

Episode 4

Heating's knackered... girls won't go onstage because it's so cold... is this significant?

How do the zombies know to look in the bookshop? Do they think Aziraphale will be there or Crowley? Is it just that that's how they contacted him in the first place?

What's with the timeline on 1941? They're all out and about... is it a couple days later?

While demons like me... for hundreds and hundreds of millennia ???

Episode 5

Why is the big transporter out of service?

"If you're not him, then *what* are you?" Jim also says this ep 1. seems like a distinction.

The matchbox is still in Heaven.

When did Muriel meet Jim?

Jim leaves the window open after he stops jumping out the window

Crowley's test doesn't really prove much for me. If Jim was trying to get back to heaven to tell on them, death would be the fastest way

"If you aren't him, then WHAT are you?" again, what are you not who are you in reference to Gabriel.

"check in on Nina and Maggie and make sure *they* are on their way" does they refer to someone(s) else??

During the ball, where is Crowley between the Gabriel face thing and the dancing??

"I don't plan to harm you, only the humans in there with you" Why? Why isn't she threatening Aziraphale? Doesn't she want Gabriel? What is this line for??

After Jim comes back in after declaring himself to Shax, he's off screen for a long time. In a different outfit when we see him again

Aziraphale's box when Crowley starts bringing people outside. this is the same box that he leaves Nina and Maggie to fiddle with in ep6

might be a miracle blocker?? but Muriel brings back the elevator

Nina's questions for posterity:

what is happening? (not simple)

why is everything so weird? (not simple)

This all started last week when the power went out, didn't it?

no, this all started a very long time ago, but also, yes.

"last week when the power went out" that's a different timeline than portrayed in the show. What's that about? It could be a cleverly hidden time skip.

Crowley knows Muriel's a 37th class scrivener?? Do they tell him when they arrest him? Or do they hang out offscreen?

Muriel catches onto the bee metaphor immediately. "you look like a murder hornet, or a snake"

"I have to tell you: You can all leave now, and no one will be hurt" Does he *have to* tell them?

clock ticking in last intro

"Where's the cardboard box?" "What box?" !!!

"Apparently if we do a miracle together it all works a bit too well" Why say this?? Also. Apparently? As in "we discovered that..." or as in "in an apparent way, but not a literal way..."

There's stuff in the cardboard box. Why?

"every day, something IS getting closer" -beez - why??

#gos2 #good omens spoilers #good omens #aziraphale #crowley #good omens speculation #good omens meta #(kinda)#good omens theory #looking where the furniture isn't #gabriel good omens #muriel #beelzebub good omens #michael good omens #maggie good omens #nina good omens

25 notes · View notes

carefulfears · 1 year

Note

top five annoying mulder moments <3

okay, i have two lists for you: annoying moments that i find endearing, and annoying moments that make me want to beat him over the head with a chair

annoying moments that i find endearing:

(as of today, these could all be different tomorrow)

1/ "you mean i might get my 29.95 worth after all?" (731)

insane thing to say with 6 minutes to live about the mail-order VHS tape that might save your life. the way he casually cracked jokes in front of that bomb haunts me. unfortunately, this joke made me laugh so hard when i first watched this episode, that it became a core memory of the show to me, and it's still one of my favorite lines

related: putting on a comedy show for the nazis in the pine bluff variant

"ooh, is this the pepsi challenge? how 'bout some fresh air, boys" "you can just call me a cab, that'd be fine" sir they are about to execute you in a field

2/ his general behavior with the neighbors in arcadia

not his behavior towards scully, that's a different thing. i'm talking about mulder showing up in a neighborhood that deeply values regulations and appearances, and dragging out his basketball hoop at 10:30 at night. kicking mailboxes. putting that plastic flamingo in the lawn.

he went undercover in this subdivision to investigate the disappearances of multiple missing families, and his entire investigative strategy, is to fuck around and find out.

the fact that the neighbors start off concerned for him, worried that the monster is going to kill him for violating the HOA rules, and trying to warn him and help him, but eventually are so irritated that they decide to just leave him to die

is without a doubt my favorite thing about this episode.

3/ running in front of a car (colony)

literally made eye contact with the driver and kept running into traffic....busted up that guy's whole windshield.....like he went THROUGH that guy's windshield.....once again, i say, do you have ANY IDEA HOW PISSED I WOULD BE to just be minding my own business driving home from work, and end up with a MULDER-SHAPED HOLE in my windshield.....and then he just mumbled something about getting the wind knocked out of him?? and got up and kept running?? you KNOW he didn't pay for that guy's car. used "i got hit by a car" as an excuse for not filing his report on time??? i love him but he is not serious people

4/ reading the articles in a porno mag at the office (the jersey devil)

the jersey devil my most beloved most watched episode ever....cannot even express to you how funny i find it that when scully got into work, he's just sitting there staring intently at porn and starts telling her about the articles. he turns the magazine so that she can see. kinda the funniest thing that he ever did.

+ scully's lil "workin hard, mulder?" and "sorry to interrupt your serious investigation" ...they're best friends

5/ "why don't you take that gun and shoot yourself in the head like you shot my father" (piper maru)

girl WHAAAAAATTTTT??

BONUS: all of his comments about religion (various episodes)

i put this one on the list and took it back off so many times but i have to speak my truth. every last one of them. i know they're mean and judgmental. i like it.

honorable mention: the mulder ditch™ (too many episodes in too many circumstances to make one of the lists but the way he constantly just leaves scully places deserves to be included. he literally has the object permanence of a 3-month old)

annoying moments that make me contemplate violence:

(only came up with 4 for now...but they're serious to me)

1/ "when he's old enough, tell the kid i went down swinging." (vienen)

me when i'm two weeks out of the grave and have purposefully endangered my ass on a boat full of killer alien goo and my idea of a funny sarcastic joke is to goad my partner into saving me by JOKING!!!! about her having to tell my baby that i'm DEAD!!!

what compelled him to say this. this is my "WHY IS NO ONE TALKING ABOUT THIS" infographic mulder moment.

my favorite part is how scully doesn't even address it she just gives that kind of "jesus fucking christ" sigh and tells him to put doggett on the phone lol

2/ “all this because i didn’t get you a desk?” (never again)

literally god forbid a girl have an existential crisis in some FUCKING PEACEEEEE

3/ "diana saw it too. and no matter what you think, she's certainly not going to go around saying that just because science can't prove it, it isn't true." (the beginning)

lolololololol

listen, i defend him for the diana stuff, and i get it. i could write you a dissertation on the complications and emotions of it and why he says things like this or whatever. but it still annoys the ever-loving fucking hell out of me.

this one bothers me more than "scully, you're making this personal" because it's such a direct blow to the core of their dynamic and to what she tries to do for him. this comes so soon after he looked at her in the hallway and told her that her rationalism and science saved him.

which is a moment that meant so much to her and that she references in this same episode. she grabs his hand and she says "you told me that my science kept you honest. that it made you question your assumptions. that by it, i'd made you a whole person."

she has memorized everything that he's ever said and she heard him so deeply in that hallway. she stays so dedicated to offering that science and rationalism that she knows he needs, that she heard him say was best for him.

that moment in that hallway changed them for the rest of their lives, and this is when skepticism and belief start to morph from genuine ideology into roles that they play for each other.

she's doing her part, she's offering him her side, she's playing her role. and he throws it back in her face, says he'll just go play with diana then, because diana would never counter him with science.

LOLLLL okay then spooky, we'll fucking see if it's diana that comes to save your ass in the bermuda triangle

4/ "you act like you're surprised" (three words)

debated putting this one on here because everyone knows i loveeee three words and i loveeee s8 mulder and i'm obsessed with this scene, i've written multiple pieces about the fish in it, i wouldn't change a word of it

but i just have to because this is the other one that grates at me in the back of my head from time to time...because it's not that he doesn't think resurrection is surprising. it's not that he thinks it's a given that he'll always be around.

he just cannot hear and acknowledge how painful and difficult losing him was for her. because it would mean hearing and acknowledging that what he does matters, not because of what he can do or find, but because it matters that he's there. because it matters whether he lives or dies.

this episode is so heartbreakingly cruel in a way that they just aren't to each other, and that's what i love about it and what makes it stand out to me.

she's pregnant with his baby and she buried him. she was ripped off of his corpse screaming and she planned a funeral and decorated a nursery at the same time, alone. she sat in a hospital chair and held his hand for days when she knew he couldn't feel it.

for six months, he was gone. for three months, he wasn't ever coming back. that first day that they were looking for him, she teared up and whispered, "i just can't take the chance that i'm never gonna see him again," to skinner, and then she lived in a reality where she was never going to see him again. for three months.

she prayed and she prayed and she prayed and then she got to cry and laugh and hold onto him and take him home. and she tried to tell him, quietly, about the last six months. about how she doesn't think he could ever understand what it was like. about how she prayed, and about how her prayers "have been answered."

she told him how hard it was to learn he was missing, to search, to find him dead. "and now to have you back...," she smiled and said through tears.

"well, you act like you're surprised."

in less than 24 hours he is going to run towards death again and she is going to be left again with nothing to do but pray, and he cannot hear that it matters.

(y’all, remind me to do a post about mulder + humor in s8)

BONUS: referring to his mother's house as "the vineyard" (various episodes)

this one isn't that deep to me but "scully, i'm at the vineyard" just IRKS me like it gets on my NERVES. just an obnoxious ass thing to say

#mulder just muldering his mulderest #i love him more than anything #and ily!!#someone needs to make me do a nice mulder one next #honorable mention: dearest dana i cannot go on living #or whatever that fucking email said #asks #all of this comes from love but anyone who knows me knows that #kae meta

118 notes · View notes

hellcatinnc · 6 months

Text

The Reason Why Raeliana Ended up at the Duke's Mansion Anime Review

Includes Spoilers

I'm really glad I took the time to watch this honestly I did because I had seen someone do a sweet video on the duke and Raeliana however I had no clue what it was about until now. It took me less than a day to watch this I was all in the moment I started. So first off I love the idea of murder mysteries especially if you add romance to it. So this story is about a girl who in the real world is pushed off a building her death to be thrown in to a novel that she knows into a girls life called Raeliana. Come to find out who she is supposed to be engaged to he is trying to kill her so she turns to the duke to make a contract with him by blackmailing him into being her fiancé so that she can get away from her current fiancé so she can live another day.

What seemed like a cute cat and mouse game between Noah and Raeliana it wasn't hard to realize he was falling for her so hard and fast. Of course she spent the whole time trying to the main protagonist Beatrice with Noah yet she couldn't find her. She was to be with Noah after Raeliana was murdered but she shifted everything when she stayed alive. Instead of thinking about what she has in front of her she is too busy trying to fix the original story. She has yet to realize its too late his heart is hers. Even after the black mail fell through he still tells his brother he refuses to end their engagement. He even tells her at one point that he wants her to stay by his side forever he doesn't want to see life with out her. When she almost dies several times you can see how it effects him it shakes him up so bad.

I love Noah he is a sweet man to her, and the love he shows in his eyes when he looks at her is unmistakable everyone sees it. He has never showed interest in any woman until her and she even on the last episode as she has been drinking she starts confessing how she feels for him then he kisses her. Honestly this needs another season or I'm gonna go insane, guess this will be a manga series I need to read. I did watch the English version because I loved the English actors voice that did Noah and OMG he is another one that says good girl after Raeliana is caught watching him sleep. Another sexy man that is Kabedon although he didn't per say hit the wall behind her he still leaned into her the same and omg my heart melted.

I literally watched this in less than a day I was hooked from the first episode and couldn't stop and OMG there is some other hotties in this show granted I still love me some Noah more though and their connection beats the rest but look at these hotties.

It really is worth the 12 episodes that are out and hope you give it a chance. Its full of mystery and love and watching them fall for each other. It just came out this summer hopefully we get a second season for this.

#raeliana mcmillan #noah wynknight #shoujo #anime #shoujo anime #The Reason Why Raeliana Ended up at the Duke's Mansion #anime review #reviews #review

18 notes · View notes

smila-mac · 6 months

Text

So as we know Soda dies in the Vietnam war, Steve comes back and is broken but here is how I think the rest of the gang reacts

Ponyboy: I wholeheartedly believe that Ponyboy is so severely depressed after this. Refuses at all to let Darry let go of ANYTHING to do with Soda

“Why did you bin this spoon?”

“It’s useless, it’s literally bent so far beyond use..?”

“SODA DONE THAT YOU CANT GET RID OF IT!”

Anytime he gets Mail he hopes that it’s Soda writing to him, he also re-reads that letter Dally delivered to him that day in the church. He literally can’t sleep in the bed anymore because he will turn around to hug him and he isn’t there. He can’t look at sunsets without breaking down into tears, the two people he could talk to about it are dead, in everything he sees, he somehow connects it to soda. “What would soda think?” “Soda would think that’s tuff” “could you imagine if soda saw that?” . Ponyboy doesn’t see Steve the same for a whileIn his mind Steve let soda die and he literally won’t forgive Steve for about a year and a half before Steve just tells him the full story one day and pony realises it wasn’t his fault

Darry: Darry finds it even harder to connect to Pony after this, after soda dies pony is depressed and Darry just can’t communicate with Pony anymore. He has the jacket that Soda wore to court the day Johnny was on trial and Darry still speaks to it when he’s struggling with Pony. Like if Pony is having a particularly bad depressive episode he just goes into his room, looks at the jacket and literally just talks about how hard it’s been without him there. He can sometimes hear Pony sleep talking in the other room, and every single time he says Sodas name, it breaks Darrys heart. I think after a while of Pony being depressed they manage to get out of it stronger than ever, like they are literally inseparable after this cause they only have each other. Sometimes Darry will call out for soda to help with the dishes and just feel really empty when he doesn’t respond.

“Ponyboy, help soda with the dish-..”

Ponyboy just hugs him when that happens

Steve: Steve literally is broken. Literally doesn’t speak a word for a few months, and after that, he only speaks very few words at a time. Steve’s parents don’t really care so Steve moved in to the Curtis home but he NEVER used anything soda did cause he thought he’d ruin it. It got to the point that he would literally eat out for every meal cause he accidentally used sodas favourite plate and felt super guilty. He has MAJOR trauma from the war, I think he literally saw soda die and whenever he sees an item of sodas clothes he just can’t deal with it and has to take a minute. He looses his shit whenever Pony wears one of sodas old shirts

“What are you wearing?”

“Sodas old V neck”

“You don’t fucking deserve to wear that”

I think it gets to the point that there is such a big divide between Steve and Pony that they fight each other to the point of near death before Darry and two bit interfere, and that’s the day Steve unloads about how soda died. After that I think he starts ti get better VERY SLOWLY. Finally after that I think it takes like a year or two for pony and Steve to finally start being friends. I think Steve sees all of what he loved about soda in little fragments in ponyboy and they start to talk, they weren’t nearly as close as soda and Steve but Steve felt better having that little bit of soda with him in pony

Two Bit: I think out of everyone in the gang two bit was closest to Darry, and closely followed by soda. It hit two bit hard seeing how everyone was so upset and he couldn’t fix it. He couldn’t crack a joke cause what was there to laugh about? I have a head canon that Soda was the only one who would watch Mickey Mouse with two bit, and now he just can’t watch it. No one knows how hard two bit took it because two bit always just smiled through everything, I think years later, like 20-30 years later Pony, Darry and Steve are talking about it over beers with two bit and then they, only then, find out how hard it was for him. The day that him and Darry found Steve and Pony beating each other up so bad to the point of near death was the day Two bit wasn’t himself anymore, I think he slowly stopped introducing himself as ‘two-bit Mathews’ and just started introducing himself as Matthew (i think he REALLY hates Keith) only pony, Darry, and Steve call him Two Bit

This was my first ever post!! I’d you have any constructive criticism it is always welcome! Thanks for reading <3

I’ll do a lighter post next time 😭

~ smila

#dallas winston #the outsiders #ponyboy curtis #sodapop curtis #darry curtis #two bit mathews #steve randle #johnny cade

36 notes · View notes

someone-you-do-not-know · 6 months

Note

I will ask about Christmas in the hole and Christmas and green forests

Thank you, Stars. You understand my need to be insane about things.

This is the strange story of the worst Christmas calendar ever aired on Danish TV – maybe on any TV ever. And everything around it. Gonna put it under a read more, because uh. The lore is extensive.

Jul og grønne skove or Jul i hullet (Christmas and green forests, nickname: Christmas in the hole) – a ramble:

Okay, we're going back in time, to the year of 1980. Back then, Christmas calendars wasn't as much of a serious thing, as it was just something for kids to watch for half an hour, maybe with their parents. Now, in 1979, Jul i Gammelby aired, which is hailed as one of the best of its time. My parents have talked about how that one is just really cozy and full of Christmas, which is what one would want from a Christmas calendar, of course.

So, 1980. The original plans for the yearly Christmas calendar had gone down the drain, and DR (Denmarks public radio and tv service, the only TV station at the time) had bought the rights to a moomin puppet show from Sweden instead. This show was called Mumindalen (Moomin Valley), which was also a Christmas calendar (SVT 1973). But each episode was only some 14-ish minutes long, and the time slot was for 24-ish minutes, so they had to fill in the time with something.

What does one do? You go to the hosts for the youth department, and ask them to come up with something. There was no time or money to do anything as extravagant as the show airing last year. They had 24 days to write a script, they filmed each episode on the day it aired. There was two men, a remote controlled camera, and a time slot to fill every day for 24 days. The situation was desperate.

The men were Poul Nesgaard and Elith "Nulle" Nykjær Jørgensen. The concept they had come up with? It's a peculiar one. To prove the existence of Santa Claus, they go out on a quest, but fall into a hole in a forest on the 1st of December. While down there, they would answer fan mail and letters (mind you, they were big hotshots to the Danish youth). They would stay in that hole all Christmas, and the only Santa Claus in the show was at the very end. Passing by in the background.

To say the Danish TV audience were disappointed is a big understatement. Most people turned off their TV before the Moomin show had even been shown. Angry letters were sent to newspapers and to DR, everyone hated it. On the 12th of December, the top brass at DR demanded it to stop.

Poul and Nulle kept going. To keep up the appearance that they were stuck in a hole, they didn't do any interviews, having the editor Mogens Vemmer defend the decision instead. Poor guy promised next year would have more Christmas, and demanded Poul and Nulle make it more Christmas. They promised they would do it, but didn't go through with it.

The fan mail went to them, though, and some were positive. On the 21st of December, the show reached a new high or low, depending on how you look at it. A cave man covers the camera a few minutes into the episode, and the rest of it is a "Technical difficulties, please stand by" screen, interrupted with the Moomin show. People thought it was unplanned and sloppy, a storm of phone calls went to DR to complain. On the 24th of December, it was over, and the criticism finally got to Poul. At least it was over. Except it wasn't.

There was a meeting in January, to hold people responsible, but a single letter from a principal singing its praise made the top brass doubt themselves. Maybe they hadn't understood the show? Maybe there was some merit to it? Poul has decided to remember it as a success. The next year, the Christmas calendar was full of Christmas, and with a small reference to the horrible, yet iconic calendar of 1980, where the two men finally got out of the hole.

I've watched some of it. All of the first episode, and some snippets of later episodes. It's... It's odd. It's definitely not the most Christmas-y show. But I say, it would've done numbers on Youtube in the 2010s. They were 30 years too early. The zany humour and home video vibe would've been perfect. Poul and Nulle were visionaries, they just didn't have the right medium. This is my opinion at least.

Now, it's time for the much stranger story of the archives of the worst Christmas calendar ever.

Because no. It doesn't end. Danish journalist Anders Lund Madsen has made a 24 episode radio program called Hullet i Jorden (The hole in the ground) to investigate what happened and what came next, and I must admit, I haven't listened to it yet.

Thing is, there's a whole conspiracy theory about this Christmas calendar.

Since Christmas calendars of the past occasionally get to grace the screen again, it's not customary to delete the archives, which is why we can watch many of the old shows again and again. Some of the very oldest were overwritten though, to make space for the News broadcasts, which is why we only have scraps left of some of the shows from the 60s. But this happened to Jul og grønne skove, and pretty early after the show had aired too. DR's archives for the show? GONE.

A viewer had recorded all episodes, and DR found out, so they asked him to send them in a taxi so they could get them back. The VHS tapes? GONE. He's tried to contact DR several times, but no one has been able to answer what happened.

Remember how I mentioned Poul and Nulle got out of the blasted hole in the Christmas calendar of 1981? Well. That clip, guess what? IT'S GONE. Someone cut it out for the rerun in 1987. A woman working for DR's archives stubbornly looked for that clip, and that's how she found the clip.

Only half the episodes are available on DR's archival site, Bonanza, and the rest are lost media. The conspiracy theory is that someone working at DR has purposefully worked to erase this blight on Christmas calendars from existence. Is that the truth? I don't know, but I do know that it has been erased in part three times.

I hoped you enjoyed this walk down the insane history of the worst Christmas calendar ever.

Sources: https://juleweb.dk/julekalendere/jul-og-groenne-skove/ https://www.dr.dk/nyheder/webfeature/poul-og-nulle https://www.dr.dk/nyheder/kultur/historie/konspirationsteori-nogen-vil-skaffe-skandaleramt-dr-julekalender-af-vejen

#thank you for the ask! <3 #seriously #Thank you #starsmadeinheaven #jul og grønne skove #jul i hullet #christmas calendar #denmark posting #denmark #poul og nulle i hullet #This is so insane I'm so happy to finally talk about it

7 notes · View notes

the-darklings · 2 years

Note

okay so i read your sandman fic yesterday after i watched the first episode of sandman and now ive watched the entire series and then read your fic again and i just had to say i absolutely adore it!! even more so after reading it and then rereading it with my newfound knowledge!! i love your characterisation of dream; it feels very authentic to his depiction in the series (i haven't read the comics yet) but there's also the influence that wanderer has had on him which on one hand seems very slight but also so so impactful!! idk it's just very realistic to me?? if i hadnt seen the series i could've easily been convinced the wanderer was part of it all along bc it plays into his character development and growth so well

also another thing i have to add is that i can't believe you've written the fourth chapter before the last episode came out you've honestly depicted his devotion?? passion?? protectiveness?? i'm not sure what to call it but whatever he has going on when he cares about someone deeply so accurately without even seeing him with calliope (then again, maybe there's a bunch of situations in that in the comics that i've missed out on)

anyway i hope you have a wonderful day and i'll be waiting patiently for the next chapter <33

Thank you so much sdjghjsdh 😭💕

I always feel weirdly undeserving of such beautiful messages but I’m immensely grateful for them all the same. I think mainly because I consider my version of Dream to still be somewhat “incomplete” due to missing context in his past. I just yesterday got the full comic series in the mail and started reading them (so far can confirm it’s super faithful + changes made were all 10000% better) because my end goal is a morph (haha) between show and comic Dream.

But y’all. Guys. I…I need you to understand. The bonus ep dropped on Friday. My friend (who got me into the series in the first place) was blowing up my DMs all you will lose you mind, bestie // never doubt your characterisation ever again but I was gritting my teeth and editing part 4, promising myself it’ll be my strawberries and cream after I’m done. So ep dropped Friday (19th), but I only watched the ep yesterday (20th), so when I tell you I was losing my mind over:

“you came” “you called.” (Show) vs “why did you not you call for me?” (“today”)

And

“In the olden days you would have left me here to rot without turning a hair.” (Show) vs “Because I didn’t think you would come.” (“today”)

LITERALLY GAVE ME BRAINROT + ALL THE BODY LANGUAGE. BRAIN WAS AND IS CHURNING.

#it’s the softness for me………….. the ‘please’ also made me want to chew concrete.#also rip morpheus but if calliope was my wife I would simply not let her go :/ love her so so much.#thank you so much for your kind words thought 💕#fic: today i bury you in me #asks

101 notes · View notes

magicalyaku · 10 months

Text

I had vacation and tooth surgery and thus a lot of time to be lazy! <3 A chunk of it I spent listening to the narrations of some creepypasta series. Though, honestly, I'm not sure they can be called that? They're more episodic paranormal stories. Yes, there's monsters running around and dangerous, maybe scary stuff going on, but they're also incredibly wholesome and soo sweet and very queer! So if you're into that, go look for the stories written by @02321 on r/nosleep and Youtube! My Name's Skyler, I'm a Freelance P.I. narrated by Baron Landred (the title on r/nosleep is I Work as a P.I and a Government Agent approached me to help with a case) and I Deliver Mail to Cryptids narrated by Animas. (And also a bunch of stories more set in the same universe of the Silver King.)

Now back to our regular books! We have 4 princes, 2 kings and 1 queen this month!

Banshee Blues (Nina Blazon): I'm in the editing process of my latest novel, which I'm writing in German, so I felt I should read a German, non-translated book for once. This was the only one in my pile but it is from my favourite German author, so all was well. I have a lot to thank her for. The first novel read from her was Der Dunkle Kuss der Sterne (The Stars' Dark Kiss) and that was the first time I liked first-person viewpoint! Her next book had split POV and different tenses and I had to admit it was done well. Banshee Blues was not quite up to par with her previous works but it went a few new directions than usual which was nice as well. It tried very hard to lead you astray with what's going on and who is evil and who isn't. And while I liked how things turned out between the two leads it would have been monumental to have them stay platonic.

The Fallen King's Penitent Soldier (Tales of the High Court 5) (Megan Derr): Sigh, it's been a ride. I had a good time with the whole series. I love the worldbuilding, really. But it is alright to end it here, while it's still good, you know. In a way, these five stories are all built very similar: Being kidnapped by bad guys, running from the bad guys or running after the bad guys for the first half and afterwards waiting to let other people sort it out. There's probably a limited amount of iterations you can go through while still be interesting. But for these five volumes it was fun! As for book 5 by itself, I think it's a good thing it comes so late in the series. Because it really takes its time. There's a lot introspection going on for the two protagonists which is okay because they go through a lot but it's also very long and sometimes not much else happens. I liked the two of them, I liked how religion was handled, I liked how it went full circle back to Allen's story. I liked the series. Good times. :)

Prince & Knight (Daniel Haack & Stevie Lewis): I wanted this for the pretty pictures. But apparently the universe didn't want me to? I ordered this last year already, but the package went on an odyssee through several cities without ever arriving at my home. I ordered it again this year and … the same thing happened?! 8D The odyssee was shorter this time, mind you, but … why again?! I tried a third time and ordered it for pick up at a local bookstore and that finally worked. Geez! It's a children's picture book so the story is as basic as it goes. Is it goo for children? I wouldn't know. The dragon doesn't die and it's very sweet and very pretty.

In all seinen Farben (Boy Queen) (George Lester): I had some exhausting weeks at work and thought I could use something inspirational. Something about finding your own way and shine. Which happens in this book but there's also a lot of drama going on and I was not prepared for the rock-bottom-hit in the beginning. xD I mean, it was written in the blurb but I've owned the book for a year why should I reread the blurb … I know nothing about drag or make-up or anything in that direction (I did watch like 15 minutes of the drag show at Comic Con Stuttgart last year but that hardly counts), so it was charming and interesting to read about.

We Could Be so Good (Cat Sebastian): I have to apologise to everyone on the waitlist for this at my library because I could have read it faster but … once I realised what sort of direction the 70% drama might take I had a tough time reading on. They were so happy and it was nice and I just did not want to suffer! I did assume, since the book goes out of its way to address how all queer books published during the mid of the last century would have to end badly (and the protagonist outright refusing to read them therefore), it would probably take a turn for a happy ending. That was the only hope that kept me going. If I had known any of the author's other work I maybe wouldn't have worried so much, because it's written in her bio already that she'll only write happy endings?! Well … So for anyone else fearing the drama of a book set in 1959: No queer person was harmed in this book! (Nothing major anyway.) I like the book, though! Enjoyed reading it. Nick and Andy are both sweet. But that fear did something to me, took me a while to recover. :'D

Prince & Assasssin (Perilous Courts 1) (Tavia Lark): I needed something simple for my fragile heart and it seems gay fantasy is my comfort read now in the same way my mom reads stuff named like "The Little Bakery at XYZ Street". And what should I tell you, yeah, there're men who are tenderly and not so tenderly intimate with each other, yeah yeah, but there's also giant talking cats! Giant talking cats! Also, I really like the author's writing style. It's so smooth! I started reading and didn't want to put it down anymore because it read so smoothly! The book itself was so much better than I had expected (which was basically nothing). It won't blow you off your feet but it's pretty enjoyable and surprisingly wholesome. Also the worldbuilding felt just right. I'm looking forward to reading the next volumes soon!

King of Immortal Tithe (Darkmourn 2) (Ben Alderson): Did I buy the expensive hardcover just because I like the illustration more than the one of the paperback? Why hello, that's me. So this is the second fae book I read this year. It's apparently a universal truth now that fae men are the most beautiful and well endowed beings on earth and beyond. Not that I mind, you do you, but why does fae anatomy work the same as humans' actually? Anyway, this is a stand-alone in a series of stories all set within the same universe. I like that concept. Hunting for pieces of lore is fun. Arlo is a feisty character so following him was enjoyable. The switch from enemy to lovers was kinda sudden like … I can see why but personally it still felt sudden. Also Faenir calling Arlo constantly Darling was not my taste but you know, if it's just that, I can overlook it. The twist at the end had me barking out evil laughter (which means approval). I did hold back reading the final chapter until I read the first volume as not to spoil any more! (While they are stand-alones the previous story is referenced in this one.)

Lord of Eternal Night (Darkmourn 1) (Ben Alderson): "He was so tall and his hands were so large and his length was so great and so thick my fingers couldn't touch reaching around it. He was not just a man, he was a god!" I laughed. That's not a literal quote, but a good summary. Yeah. I laughed. And while praising one guy he was also dissing his former lover, the baker's son, for not being as large. Not the poor lad's fault, no need to get mean! Should have known at that point already who was the true evil mastermind. :'P. But in all fairness, there is a little more going on in the story. And well, these books know very well what kind of fantasy they're catering. There's a short guy, a little crafty and feisty, not too weak, and the very tall, very beautiful guy who everyone says is evil, but turns out he isn't so evil, he just has a tragic past, he also falls very hard for the protagonist and oops, maybe he does have some capacity for evil. I did like how the story subverted who's good and who's bad like three times. Otherwise, it's not really complex. But I'm kinda into the ending.

Alpha of Mortal Flesh (Darkmourn 3) (Ben Alderson): The third installment in the series, they've been getting more elaborate with each volume. So instead of the 2 and 3 half characters we had in the first one, there's actually a whole cast in here with motivations and backstories. That was nice. The writing style, however, is still as … trying as hard as in the beginning. It's not bad, mind you, I commend it for trying to use the full range of the English language, but there's a lot of words, making everything longer than needed, and sometimes their choice is really weird. Example: "My tongue broke free. It slithered from the confines of my mouth." But it's just a normal human tongue licking something eagerly yet still very normally! And, they're indie books, yeah, but I do wish all three books would have gone through another round of editing. The unnecessary repetitions and errors made me suffer a little. And while I got a little bored and impatient at the end I do like the story and what it's trying to do. Just that it was trying too hard in some aspects of the writing and not hard enough in others.

That's it for July! Apparently, August will be library month again. My TBR bookshelf disapproves but duh. Let's go and have fun. :P

#yaku reads #books #queer books #lgbtq books #queer lit #bookblr #creepypasta #i deliver mail to cryptids #nick & skyler #we could be so good #darkmourn #lord of eternal night #prince & knight #banshee blues #tales of the high court #perilous courts #prince & assassin #boy queen

12 notes · View notes

ebaeschnbliah · 2 years

Text

THE LONG FALL DOWN TO THE BOTTOM OF THE WELL

________________________________________________________________

UNAIRED PILOT: The beginning

A STUDY IN PINK: Repetition

Never before has ‘falling in love’ been more thoroughly investigated and studied ... but then, Sherlock Holmes never liked not knowing. Instead he prefers to solve the mystery.

TBC below the cut .....

The slightly differnt filming decisions in PILOT and ASIP - the unofficial, unaired and the official, first episode of the story - give the impression of two perfect mirrors of each other, in which left turns to right and vis versa. While in both rooftop scenes Sherlock can be seen high up on a building (body/above the body) - looking out and down for his ‘pink case’ - John stands, looking up, next to a parked car (body/motionless transport) in the first version and next to a phone (voice of the heart) in the second.

The first version is created as a compact scene. It plays without any dialogue at all - there’s just ... music. The audience is aware that John can see Sherlock on the rooftop while Sherlock doesn’t seem to notice John.

In the second version the same scene is split in two separate parts. Although John does look up as well and one can asume that it is Sherlock whom he sees on a rooftop, there is no visual proof of it. Only when both characters are back at 221b and Sherlock talks about his discovery of the pink case, the missing rooftop scene from the earlier scene, appears in a flashback. This time though John is the one who is absent.

This scene is linked to the first appearance of Sherlock’s brother Mycroft (the brain) who enters the stage by an anonymus phone call, directed at John. And why should the brain communicate with the voice of the heart? Maybe because ... ‘there is a heart somewhere inside me’? At least that’s what Mycroft says in TFP. In the PILOT Mycroft isn’t completely absent either. By e-mail he advises his brother: ‘When you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains must be the truth.’ In this version though Mycroft’s appearance isn’t linked to the rooftop scene at Lauriston Gardens but to Sherlock’s and John’s first meeting in Bart’s lab.

Back to the official verson in which Mycroft doesn’t text but talk. The first phone starts ringing exactly at the very moment John looks up to the rooftop. When John finally answers the third call (under the sign of a modern ‘cockcrow’), the voice of the mysterious man on the phone gives informations about three single surveillance cameras, mounted onto buildings, all focussed at John (full observation of the mind), followed by one explicit demand:

"There is a security camera on the building to your left. Do you see it? ... Do you see the camera, Doctor Watson? ... Watch. There is another camera on the building opposite you. Do you see it? ... And finally, at the top of the building on your right. ... Get into the car, Doctor Watson.”

Viewing both ‘first statements’ (text and call) of Mycroft side by side - in relation to the scenes in which they happen (lab and rooftop) and at whom they are directed (Sherlock and John) - this almost gives the impression of some nice choreographic planning. In any case, both first episodes seem to complement each other perfectly. The introduction of the main characters in both first episodes is then followed by user manual (TBB) and chapter list (TGG) before the story finally takes its course from ASIB down to the bottom of the well in TFP. This well is located at Musgrave Hall, the ancestral home of the Holmes family, where there was always honey for tea ...

‘Get into the transport, John! ... Fasten your seatbelt! It’s gonna be a bumpy night ... My brain is terribly fast! ... When I have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains must be the truth ... the truth that lies at the bottom of the well ...’ :)))

THE BLIND BANKER

Premonition of the fall, followed by character switching and a fall down from stage to stage, from level to level, caused by a masked attacker who comes from the East, from the distant moonlight shores of the Yangtze River.

THE GREAT GAME

Five cold cases, pips and explosions, deep waters and a boy called Carl. Someone stole his shoes to catch Sherlock’s attention ... someone who is closely connected to the ‘hound’. And a bomb, wearing John’s jacket, is waiting, ready to explode ...

A SCANDAL IN BELGRAVIA

Distracted, hit and felled by a boomerang, brought back from the East. It falls into a Brook to be washed down a stream. The naked truth comes to light ... “We’re not a couple” - ”Yes you are” ... Officially ‘truth’ gets executed, inofficially ‘truth’ lives on undercover.

The water-repellent umbrella of the brain gives the impression of a dark circular spot on the ground. Already a premonition for the deep well’s dark opening?

THE HOUNDS OF BASKERVILLE

The entrance to hell is marked by the hound’s paw, illuminated by a circle of light, while the air is full of chemistry that rouses fear and terror.

Lab experiments: Sherlock wants to find out how John might react to the presence of the hound. He observes how the former army doctor breaks out in panic and fear, how he seeks shelter behind the iron bars of a covered cage and even forgets that he carries a gun. Despite being ‘acclimatised to violence’ and having ‘nerves of steel’ due to his military service, it seems that the presence of the hound renders John totally impotent ...

More lab experiments: Sherlock can’t find any illegal drugs under the microscope, just sugar and water ... ‘sweet emotions’ ... the basic ingredients of a ‘natural high’. In the end John shoots both - hound and dog - a foreshadowing of what will happen in the following episode on Bart’s roof .

THE REICHENBACH FALL

Jim Moriarty, Mr Big G, prepares to introduce Sherlock to his - their - final problem. He is the man with the key, who is in controll of the vaults of power, who is able to free dangerous criminals from their prison and breaks open the crown jewel’s case. He is Mr Sex ...

Falling for John ... falling towards John, who is caught in the circle and cross-hair pointer of a sniper’s gun, a sniper who works for Mr Sex. After the Baskerville experiments Sherlock knows how very afraid John is of the Hound, therefore the Hound must never get John. As a consequence Jim (the hound) and Sherlock (the dog) both ‘die’.

THE EMPTY HEARSE

An underground journey. From dark and dangerous woods, in whose lightless depths the mind observes the torment of the imprisoned body, back to the trains and tunnels below the city of London, where the transport starts getting into gear.

Then the explosive transport at Sumatra Road, the underground station beneath the Houses of Parliament, that was closed before it ever opened, threatens to bring the government down.

THE SIGN OF THREE

A great treasure from the banks gets lost to the Waters. The sign of four has become a sign of three. Not long now until AGRA steps forth and then Sherlock will be drawn into a river, a maelstrom, with only one destination.

Close observation can prove dangerous because one never knows what might wait at the end. Scorched, fallen and drowned in tea. It’s the eye that first sins and then falling can not be avoided ...

Some clueing and looking under the influence of chemistry turns out to be essential to find the correct solution - a solution that will lead Sherlock to one more, not expected, deduction ... Oh what a night! I felt a rush like a rollin' ball of thunder, spinnin' my head around and takin' my body under ... Sherlock’s ‘I’m in love’ deduction becomes the turning point of the story.

HIS LAST VOW

Sherlock reveals and confronts Mary, his facade, which will seal both their fates. Sherlock falls towards Jim, towards Mr Sex, who is chained to the wall of a circular cell like a vicious dog, singing of pouring rain. Countless vortex-spirals-smiley faces are watching intently. Then Sherlock gets caught in the cross-hair pointer of the government ... ‘Oh, Sherlock. What have you done?’ - ‘A deal with the devil’ ... ‘You want me to shake hands with you in hell? I shall not disappoint you.’ ... ‘Dewer’s Hollow or Sherrinford?’

THE ABOMINABLE BRIDE

From the beginning then: Burning tobacco transforms into a gunshot aimed at Baker Street. The veil of the bride lifts. John and Jim are connected by a circle of glowing light. How many pipes will Sherlock need to solve the final problem?

Towards the journey’s end lies Rich Brook’s cauldron, Jim’s cauldron that is waiting for Sherlock. And smiling the detective plunges down into Mr Sex’s boiling maelstrom of overwhelming emotions ... flying free as a bird, carried away by the chemistry of love.

THE SIX THATCHERS

The former drug-induced victorian fever dream has now been replaced by a modern ‘natural high’ and Sherlock starts to explore the cauldron. He relives the past, faces old monsters, investigates the destruction of masks and finds a memory stick with secret informations about AGRA next to a swimming pool. Could it be the same memory stick Jim threw into another swimming pool in another episode?

Circles within circles ... another premonition of the dark well that is waiting for Sherlock to devour him?

“Amo, amas, amat ... I love, you love, he loves.” And again circles within circles. Circles that make up a fan ... a ‘wind machine’ ... with a black hole at the centre. In the end AGRA leads to AMO. The city of Agra, on the banks of the Yamuna river, is most famously known for the Taj Mahal ... symbol of undying love.

Well in the mirror ... mirror of the well? And the reflection in a mirror shows the truth ... the facade and that what the facade hides and protects. A mirror filmed side by side with a bathroom - the same bathroom in which John was ‘not shaving’ for Sherlock Holmes, the detective who likes his doctors clean shaven ...

Snow-capped mountain-waves rise from the foaming waters of a stirred up swimmingpool. Sherlock and Ajay, the man who wears the Y on his cheek like Jim on his lips, are locked in a fierce fight beneath an artificial waterfall. The facade finally falls and the stream becomes a river, a torrent, with only one destination.

THE LYING DETECTIVE

At the bottom of the cauldron and still falling ... that’s where Sherlock finally reaches the beginning. The great story-cycle starts to close.

Smiley face, serial killer and the fall float to the surface and merge into one single case, while Eurus, the East Wind, broken loose from her prison, begins to dictate the rhythm. The‘truth’ gets in touch once more and announces her survival. Sherlock is challenged to go to Hell.

‘We always saw it coming’ ... that dark abyss of the well ...

THE FINAL PROBLEM

‘Patience’ wears thin and the long overdue explosion of the ‘passions’ grenade inside 221b causes a jump and a fall through fire and foggy clouds onto a ship at sea.

Sherlock and John call themselves pirates. A gap in the clouds meets a hole in the ground and Mr Sex becomes the stationmaster of the East Wind’s experiments ... ‘Choo-choo! Come on now! Aaaaaall aboard!’ ... the transport takes up speed ...

At the bottom of the well: Sherlock finds somthing long forgotten but deeply familiar ... ‘Hello skull, my dear old friend! ... Hello John, did you miss me?’

‘Deep waters, Sherlock, all your life. In all your dreams. Deep waters.’ ... and the vast ocean of long suppressed, overwhelming emotions yearns for the pirate to dare its billowing waves ...

Water ...

Just some general basic info for good measure: water represents life, physical and spiritual birth, forgiveness, purification and flexibility. Water is also said to be a feminine energy, connected to passion and emotion. It can be associated with birth, fertility, and refreshment. In traditional western philosophy it is one of the four elements essential to life. Colours commonly associated with it are blue and green. Flowing water, like rivers, represents death, rebirth and the passage of time. Water is also a universal symbol of change and of the unconscious mind, linked to the moon. In alchemy water is associated with the element Mercury, it’s symbol a downward-pointing triangle. (Sources: Water symbolis X X)

At the bottom of a well ...

The surface of water is like a mirror. It gives off a reflection and reflections have long been symbolically associated with truth. ‘Truth lies at the bottom of a well’ and ‘Truth coming out of her well’ has already been discussed by several people. Jean-Léon Gérôme’s four paintings are also well known in this context. Thanks @possiblyimbiassed for this interesting link on the ‘vicar’ post. The statement that ‘truth lies at the bottom of a well’ originates from the Greek philosopher Democritus: “We know nothing in reality; for truth lies in an abyss.”

Truth, lies and liars are constantly repeated themes in Sherlock BBC. Even the creators described themselves more than once as ‘lying liars who lie’. The Kafka-Paradox comes to mind:

“Art depends on truth, but truth, being indivisable, cannot know itself: to tell the truth is to lie. thus the writer is the truth, and yet when he speaks he lies.“

Well, well .....

A well is a deep hole, made in the ground, from which water can be removed. Since prehistoric times wells have had great significance. They are associated with the feminine principle, the womb of the Great Mother. In psychology, descending into a well, equals the positive regression of the conscious to the unconscious mind, to gain new insights. (Sources: Wells symbolism X X X X)

In myths and fairytales wells are often holy and serve as portals to the Otherworld - into the unknown world of the unconscious mind - of that what is hidden and inaccessible in everyday life. A stream leading into a well is a symbol for the union of male and female. Trains and tunnels come to mind but also that one scene in TFP of John in the well, when water starts pooring into it (Source of PRISMApic @constancecream x) ... and also Sherlock’s line in HLV: ‘Sherlock is actually a girl’s name’.

Other continuous motives in Sherlock BBC are fairytales. There are a lot of references to a number of well known fariytales included in the story. In TRF the ‘Complete Edition of Grimm’s Fairy Tales’ (published by Routledge and Kegan Paul 1948, with 212 illustrations by Josef Scharl (X)) plays an important role and leads Sherlock to Max and Claudette (the ‘big one’ and the ‘lame’), the siblings who got abducted by Jim and poisoned with Mercury.

(Fairytales master post by @bug-catcher-in-viridian-forest)

Mother Holle ...

One of the fairytales, collected by the Brothers Grimm, that features a well, is Mother Holle, also known as Mother Hulda or Old Mother Frost (fairytales + interpretations). In this story two girls who are half-siblings jump into a well - tirst the one, then the other one - to retrieve something that had gone lost. Both become unconscious during the fall and when they wake up again they have entered the Otherworld. Here the girls are confronted with several tasks they need to solve before they are allowed to go back again. The return of both girls - one covered with golden rain, the other one covered with pitchy rain - is announced by the ‘cock-a-doodle-doo’ of a rooster. The crow of a rooster - the cockcrow - is also often used as a metaphor for revelation and transformation.

Mother Holle is related to the Germanic figure of Perchta, who is a somewhat contradictory and Janus-faced character, sometimes depicted with big teeth. She abodes in the depth of a well’s underworld but at the same time she’s also in heaven from which she lets the snow fall down to earth. Eurus comes to mind, whol lives deep down below the island of Sherrinford and at the same time she is on board of a plane high up in the sky.

On the one hand Frau Holle/Perchta was depicted as a young and lovely lady, clothed in white, whose power granted fertility and abundance. But on the other hand she was the old crone, a dark goddess, the queen of witches, demons and restless spirits of the dead - also called ‘the wild hunt’ - who swept up the souls of children who had died before being named and transported them to the Otherworld. As a spinner, Holle was also a deity of fate. Her festival is in the middle of winter - at the same time that is regarded as the Twelve Days of Chrismas, the Twelve Tide of the Celtic calendar.

Sources: Mother Holle Perchta pic

Twelve tide: Epiphany & 12th Night by @7-percent John’s wedding is the Eleventh Night by @lukessense , Sherlock S4 is set during Twelve Tide , Sherlock BBC/Dr Who/The Eleventh Hour comparison by @sagestreet

additional X X)

Back to Reichenbach’s - Rich Brook’s Cauldron .....

“If Moriarty has risen from the Reichenbach cauldron, he will seek you out.” (Mycroft, TAB)

As longsnowsmoon5 pointed out in this post from 2016, the term ‘cauldron’ was indeed a careful choice of words from the creators of Sherlock BBC. Interestingly that word doesn’t appear in The Final Problem nor in The Empty House, the two canon stories that tell about the events at the Reichenbach Falls. (Pot, cettle, cauldron)

To summarize: a cauldron is a large metal pot, used for cooking over an open fire. When a cauldron of water is placed over a fire, filled with water and boiled, its magic can be seen in bubbling action. Whatever is placed into it comes out changed. The word ‘cauldron’ is also used to describe a stiuation characterized by instability and strong emotions (for example: cauldorn of repressed emotions).

Originating from the central source of nourishment in a Celtic household, the cauldron became over the centuries a symbol of transformation and spiritual - if not physical - regeneration. Magic cauldrons appear as a leading theme in Celtic mythology. Some never empty themselves as long as they are not used by cowards. Others bring the dead back to life - dead soldiers, so that they can return to battle - or they contain the essence of wisdom and knowledge. Ceridwen’s magical cauldron held a potion that granted knowledge and inspiration. She is regarded as the Celtic goddess of rebirth, transformation and inspiration and closely associated with the full moon.

The famous Gundestrup cauldron is a richly decorated silver vessel, adorned with the horned god Cernunnos surrounded by a stag, canines, felines and bovine animals. On another plate of the cauldron two elephants can be seen as well. (Sources: Welsh mythology Celtic mythology Gundestrup Cauldron Wild hunt, sacrifice & rebirth Ceridwen)

In Sherlock BBC the horns of bull and stag and several characters who ‘wear’ those horns (Sherlock, Mary, Mycroft, Janine and the ‘Viking’) turn up repeatedly. Some of the animals depicted on the Gundestrup cauldron make also an appearance in Sherlock BBC: elephants, cats and dogs, lions and dragons, pigs and birds. (Cernunnos the horned god , Thoughts about horns)

Where the dark secrets are kept ...

A circular staircase spirals down to the ‘Alexandrian Library of secrets and scandals’, the central ‘repository where all the sensitive and dangerous informations’ are guarded behind lock and key. Not in a vault they are kept but inside a mind palace, a brain. And what an interesting choice by the creators to name that collection of most sensitive informations after the Alexandrian Library, which was one of the largest and most significant libraries of the ancient world. Maybe the decisive factor to choose exactly this facility had been its name? Because names often seem to have great importantce in this story. For example: Alexander means ‘defending man’ and this fits very well with army doctor John Watson. Alexander is also another name for Paris, the guy who eloped with beautiful Helen and so caused the great Trojan war (x).

It rather seems that the name of that mind-palace-library and the secret it keeps are actually one and the same ....

As mentioned above, a well often symbolizes the glance into the depths of the soul. It’s a place of change and rebirth. No one comes out of such a well the same person they fell into it. Wanting to find his true self - that what he really is - Sherlock has to dare this dark pit and listen to that what is waiting there. After all, information is the power to change.

And sometimes the well and the secret it guards seems to turn out to be one and the same as well .....

It would be very interesting to learn what conclusions Sherlock might draw from all his detailed investigations and deductions regarding his ‘pink case’ and his preferred ‘cup of tea’ ..... :))))

Thanks for reading and looking and thanks @callie-ariane for the scripts. :)

October, 2022

Outtakes: From the beginning then The thing with the acronyms Procect Hound - Sherlock’s experiment 1/2 Your cup of tea? Well ...

SUMMARY OF A THEORY (my interpretation of SHERLOCK BBC based on metaphorical reading)

#sherlock bbc #the long fall down to the bottom of the well #circles #wells #symbolism #metaphorical reading #falling in love #fairy tales #frau holle #mother hulda #changing #rebirth #cauldron #water #emotions

56 notes · View notes

codename-mom · 4 months

Text

In name of Spencer

Summary: Post-S08E12. Maeve has been killed and Spencer is at his lowest. Hotch wants to cheer up the youngest member of his team, but the task is not easy, even more when his superior search for explanation

Characters: David Rossi, Aaron Hotchner, Derek Morgan, JJ, Alex Blake + Erin Strauss

Contents: this text is part of no challenge. I just wanted to write something about how Hotch deals with Reid's pain.

TW: mention of what's happened during Zugzwang episode, and pain, grief, etc.

PS : English is not my mother language so they are necessarily mistakes. Sorry about that.

___

“Did you call me?” inquired Dave, on the threshold of the next office.

Aaron looked up from his screen immediately.

“Yes. Did you know that starfishes have eyes at the end of their arms?”

“What?” gasped the BAU co-founder, completely baffled by this strange question.

“Did you know or not?” insisted his cadet, nervously.

“Yes. I’ve already been to the aquarium.”

“Darn! It means he knows it too.”

Disappointed, the giant turned his attention back to his computer and wondered what new query he could put into his search engine. For his part, his opposite squinted, puzzled. When he had seen his supervisor's e-mail, he had expected to answer a few interrogations about a past or current investigation, not to be tested on his knowledge of marine biology.

“… What are you up to?” he asked logically.

“I’m trying to find a fact that Reid doesn’t know.”

“Good luck. Why?”

Hotch sighed and pushed away his keyboard. Empty-headed, he had no idea how to continue the quest he had been on for several days. But maybe his mentor could give him some inspiration.

“Because… After Haley's death, Spencer would regularly send me messages about all kinds of incredible things that, of course, I didn’t know, he confessed, dodging his interlocutor's gaze. He did it not to show off, but to divert my attention.”

“And you'd like to return the favor by diverting his.”

“Beth thinks it might be a good idea.”

“And I agree with her.”

It had now been just over a week since the tragedy, and Aaron's youngest subordinate was bearing the full brunt of the consequences. Holed up at home, he didn't answer calls or messages sent to him, just as he ignored people knocking on his door. Guided by his instinct, the agency manager knew he was still alive, but imagined him curled up in an armchair, staring into space, or dragging his feet limply from one room to another, tears rolling down his unshaven cheeks. He himself didn't expect any response from him to this potential anecdote, content with the simple fact that it may have eased the young man's pain for a time.

“The thing is that I can't find anything that lives up to the fact that the northern lights are the sun's spittoons.”

“What?”

“That's it in a nutshell, but that's about it. He had written this message with a link to a very interesting video on the origin of the northern lights. We watched it together, Jack and I.”

He still remembered the moment of confusion that had seized him when he had read the SMS with this premise. Then, his curiosity piqued despite the vice that was crushing his insides at the time, he clicked on the link. And for a little less than a quarter of an hour, he had forgotten the pain that haunted him from morning to night, fascinated by this impromptu talk. He then showed it to his son, who couldn't miss a bit of it, his eyes wide at the discovery. Thirteen minutes and twenty-two seconds seemed like a drop in the ocean compared to a lifetime; but in this context, it had represented a point of light in the darkness that was devouring him. A star in the night that had relieved him. And there had been plenty more after that one, which, he was sure, had kept him from getting lost in the dark. If only he could do the same for Reid…

“And how many years do you think it will take you to find it?” ironized his guest, who would certainly never have embarked on such an ambitious project.

“I can’t say. For now, I’m searching and asking people if they know.”

“And?”

“And then, not only do I not find it, but I look like an idiot.”

The novelist burst into laughter. Aaron frowned.

“It’s not funny, Dave, he scolded, annoyed. This kid is at the bottom of the abyss, and I've got nothing to help him get back up.”

Rossi raised his hands to temper his anger and, still smiling, came to sit on the chair opposite him.

“Have you thought about what he doesn't know?”

“He knows everything.”

That’s where the issue was. The young agent had several doctorates in his pocket, plus everything he'd read since he'd learned to do it. For a thirty-year-old with a passion for reading and for discovering new things, this meant that he had a wealth of wisdom that was hard to fault.

“Everyone has an Achilles heel, even him.”

“I only know one, but I’m pretty sure that it’s not the right time to talk about it.”

Formidably intelligent but completely inept in terms of social relations, Reid's love life could be compared to a very long desert crossing. In fact, his knowledge of hanks was limited to theoretical principles and all the possible deviations he had picked up in his criminology lessons. The boy was a blank page in this field who had come very close to be covered by his first story.

“… What about cooking? Bounced Dave. He doesn’t strike me as a cookery specialist.”

“True. But he’ll know that it’ll come from you. I’m not a cook myself.”

Far from it. Besides, the longer he stayed away from stoves and knives, the better it was for those around him. Unlike Rossi, who was a born chef and whose dishes delighted the agents' taste buds.

“Does it really matter where the tips comes from? After all, you don't seem to be a starfish specialist either.”

The BAU’s eldest scored a point. Spencer had surely told him things he'd learned on his own during his young life, instead of, like him, seeking information on subjects that were ultimately of little interest to him. Which didn’t do his business any favors.

“… I’ll ask the others, he announced after a sigh. They must know more than I do about what he's not good at.”

Although often on the road with his team, his subordinates were nevertheless closer to each other than he was to them. And they had all more or less taken the youngest of the gang under their wing, helping him gradually to emerge from his cocoon. Leaving his chair, Aaron made his way to the bull-pen area where Morgan, JJ and Blake were chatting over a cup of coffee. They stiffened as he lunged in their direction, but relaxed when he explained what he expected of them. The trio immediately began to think.

“Surprisingly, he's lacking in popular cinema, declared the ex-liaison officer. Or in literature for teenagers.”

“Why?” her superior raised an eyebrow, not seeing what she was referring to.

“He doesn’t know who Edward Cullen is.”

It took Hotch a few seconds to put his finger on the vaguely familiar name. The image of a sallow, unkempt teenager popped into his mind, along with all the criticisms he'd heard about the cinematic work that concerned him.

“I'd like to say it's not a big loss, he commented, raising his eyebrows, but it's mostly that he's not going to be interested in it at all. The idea is to bait him into doing further research and get him thinking about something else.”

“Sure, it's not a good idea to burden his mind with a vampire who looks like a disco ball,” agreed Derek, half-seriously.

Putting aside all thoughts of novels for young readers and their big-screen adaptations, the group fell into silence. It had to be said that the task was an arduous one, but everyone was motivated to help their colleague out of his slump.

“There's also video games, which I'm obviously better at than he is,” Dave remarked with a certain pride.

Despite his attraction to popular culture, particularly in terms of films and TV shows, Reid stayed far away from anything that resembled modern technology: computers, cell phones and games consoles. In contrast, the eldest of the BAU enjoyed his free time with controller in hand, challenging anyone who wanted to try his luck. Jack, the unit's oldest child, had already had the opportunity to confront him on several occasions, with varying degrees of success.

“I don't want to underline his ignorance either. We have to cheer him up, not shoot him in his back.”

“But we could encourage him to join an online game, with Emily for example,” suggested JJ, who had kept in touch with the current head of Interpol's London agency via Internet Scrabble games during her French run from Doyle.

“Hotchner!” suddenly exclaimed a voice from behind.

He didn't even flinch, but he didn't turn around either. Instead, he remained in position and continued:

“She’ll ask him questions and he’ll be embarrassed to answer them. She should be briefed beforehand.”

“Agent Hotchner! Are you deaf?”

Furious, Erin, who had just emerged from the elevator, circled around his imposing frame to plant herself right under his nose, forcing him to stop ignoring her.

“Chief Strauss, I didn't hear you come in,” said Aaron, in an even tone.

“Don’t push your luck, she scolded, wrinkling her eyelids. In my office.

“With all my due respect, I’ve got work to do.”

“Me too, she snapped, snarling. In. My. Office.”

Without waiting for an answer from him, she went back the way she came and frantically pressed the call button. Hotch, who suspected the reason for her anger but had no desire to discuss it, took a deep breath and followed in her footsteps, not without slipping a final instruction to his men:

“… Keep thinking.”

Without exchanging a single word, the two managers made their way upstairs to a large, dark-tinted office. Strauss took her seat and indicated the chair opposite her with a wave of her hand. Aaron settled down slowly, raised his head and, in the most innocent tone possible, said:

“Is there a problem?”

“Yes, you could say that, squeaked the section chief, her clear eyes focused on him. Why did you grant Agent Reid unlimited leave?”

“Dr. Reid.”

“I beg your pardon?” she retorted, caught off guard by this outburst.

“Spencer Reid has five doctorates.”

“He’s an FBI employee.”

“He prefers to be called that way.”

The woman in her fifties gave him a disillusioned look. The two agents hated each other cordially and did everything in their power to make each other's lives miserable at most. Hotch, who had less power than his interlocutor, played the groping more than necessary simply to destabilize her. He wasn't unaware of how important these diplomas were to Spencer, but as it stood, they weren't the reason for this summit call. Erin pouted, supporting the fixed irises of her unruly staff member, then sighed:

“Fine. Why this unlimited leave?”

“Because I’m more generous than you are.”

“What?” she reacted, outraged by this ill-timed attack.

“He has just lost someone very dear to him. His girlfriend, to be more precise.”

Strauss widened her eyelids in surprise, then frowned. Her thoughts became confused for a few moments. Should she put him in his place for his unfair reflection on the number of days off she'd given him after his ex-wife's death? She had followed protocol and offered him early retirement so that he could devote his full attention to his son. But he refused her offer and returned to his post once the time had elapsed, without making any further demands. For her, this meant that he hadn't needed much more to assimilate what had happened and reorganize his new life. And, on the other hand, this story of a girlfriend for the BAU’s youngest agent intrigued her.

“When?”

“Saturday.”

“What’s happened?”

“I don’t know the details.”

“Really?” she doubted, trying to break through the stoic mask the director was presenting to her.

“I respect my men’s private life.”

Hotch saw his superior’s jaws tighten. She didn't believe for a moment what he’d said but knew that raising her voice would lead to nothing but even higher barriers between him and her. If she wanted to get at the truth, she was going to have to play it smart.

“Good. Then explain to me why your technical analyst's computers were activated on Saturday, as were your business phones and car GPS units.”

“… Another team may have used them,” suggested Aaron after a minute’s thought.

“I received an invoice from the SWAT to your name.”

“I’ve lost my apartment keys.”

A wave of fury overwhelmed the tenant's good intentions.

“Hotch! Don’t take me for an idiot! What have you been up to again?”

“Why?” he asked coldly.

“What do you mean by ‘why?’? I end up with a weekend crew using FBI equipment and an agent on leave until 2099. I demand an explanation!”

“I couldn’t go any further.”

“What...? She hiccupped before understanding what he had meant. Aaron, pissing me off won't make this conversation any more pleasant. What did you do?”

“What are you planning to do?”

Determined not to give up any information until he was certain that nothing would happen to his team, the giant walled himself up in the smoothest possible attitude, leaving his adversary of the day nothing to hang on to. Strauss knew this behavior all too well, and it irritated her to no end. Blowing out a breath to soothe her irritation, she changed her tune.

“… Look, I understand that you're trying to protect your men, but the Committee is demanding explanations, and at this time I can't give them any.”

“I can talk to them.”

“It doesn’t work that way.”

“It won’t be a first.”

“Yes, and they don't have very fond memories of your unit.”

In order to justify the outrageous expenses incurred by the BAU in faking the disappearance of one of their own in the eyes of an international terrorist, Hotch and his crew had to appear before the top brass of the Bureau. Fiercely arguing to defend their every move, none of them had shown an ounce of remorse or commiseration in front of this jury of the first rank. On the contrary, they stuck to their guns as if they'd been in the right from start to finish. This arrogance displeased management, who decided to take a harder line and keep a close eye on their movements.

“Don't you understand that if I don't have anything in my hands, I can't defend them and you with them?”

“I didn’t know you were concerned about us.”

“Aaron, I know appearances are against me, but I'm not your enemy. I need to know.”

She couldn't have been more right, her subordinate thought. When Gideon and Rossi had left him in charge of the unit, he had immediately gone up to the section chief to present his vision of things. And he had literally seen her change color when he had explained the scope of the project. FBI headquarters had authorized the BAU to expand following its good results, but not to the extent he had imagined. Going from two agents to six – including a technical analyst demanding expensive computer equipment – and a private jet, had given Strauss cold sweats. However, unable at the time to counter the young director's rock-solid argument, she had capitulated. Which she now regretted more than ever, given the financial sinkhole this agency had become some days. And Hotch couldn't count the number of times she'd pointed out Spencer's ineptitude, Jason's and then Dave's great age, Derek and Emily's impulsiveness, or the fact that he could handle JJ's duties just fine.

So, no, he didn't believe her when she said she was on his side. Worse still, he knew full well that he and his men had acted totally out of line, and had made countless mistakes, right up to the tragic end. In fact, confessing to her was a bit like pushing the whole team off a cliff. However, he wasn’t fooled. This insistent request didn't come from her directly, but from her superiors, who were still reeling from their defeat in the Doyle affair. And as long as they didn't get an answer to this new and costly mystery, they'd keep her on a short leash and, by extension, she'd never stop pestering him. A burden he didn’t feel like carrying around.

“… Okay. On one condition.”

“Which one?”

“I want to be held solely accountable.”

“Why am I not surprised? She sighed, shaking her head in disappointment. Go on.”

She understood that he wouldn't incriminate any of his men but gave in because she would at least know what had happened.

“Reid called me late Saturday afternoon, Hotch began. He urgently needed to see me. He was under a lot of stress and had trouble speaking. I tried to find out what was going on and postpone our interview until Monday, but he then confessed that his girlfriend had disappeared.”

“I didn’t know he was dating someone.”

“Welcome to the club, he tossed out evenly. It was very recent, even though they had been communicating for just over three months.”

Strauss frowned, unsettled.

“’They had been communicating’? What that supposed to mean? They’ve never met?”

The section chief’s surprise was justified. He himself had thought he had misheard when Blake had revealed the strangeness of this relationship. However, while he had initially blamed this modus operandi on Reid's sociability difficulties, the reality was quite different.

“No. For a good reason. This woman was a victim of a stalker. A female stalker,” he added immediately.

“It exists?”

“It’s uncommon, but yes. These women often suffer from erotomania or are simply jealous. Maliciously jealous, emphasized the profiler in order to make her hear how dangerous this woman was. In our case, it’s the second option. Reid's girlfriend, Maeve, was a rather gifted geneticist. Her stalker had sent her a thesis, which she rejected on purely scientific grounds. But for this woman, it was the trigger that made Maeve's life a living hell.”

Aaron was pouring out this flood of information without taking the time to breathe, and his interlocutor had to stop him to clarify a point.

“Wait, did you discover all this during your investigation or did Dr. Reid tell you?”

“No, we found out on Saturday when we were doing our research.”

“This type of investigation does not fall within your jurisdiction, so why didn't you entrust it to local authorities?”

“Reid asked for our help.”

“So what? You know the laws better than anyone, Hotch. You knew you were doing it illegally.”

A former federal prosecutor, the director of the BAU continued to keep abreast of developments in American law whenever his overloaded schedule allowed him a little free time. In fact, he was well aware that the case he and his team had been following over the weekend did not fall within their remit. Diane Turner, though unbalanced, had not killed anyone before that day, and the police, who were unaware of the scientist's disappearance, had not asked for their help in solving the harassment that had degenerated. They had knowingly encroached on a territory that was not theirs, in defiance of all the laws that existed and that governed the tasks of both parties in normal times.

“Yes, but Reid would never have trusted anyone but us, and we couldn't have found Maeve without him.”

“Did he help you with the investigation? Realized Erin, flabbergasted. Despite his proximity to the victim? You know how quickly this can turn into a procedural error.”

“Yes. But we had no other option. Maeve was on the run, in hiding; she had become a ghost to escape her stalker. The only one who knew her and could therefore give us clues as to how to find her was him.”

“That’s why you conducted this operation undercover. To hide the fact that you've been working hand-in-hand with someone far too emotionally involved. Am I right?”

“Yes.”

The director gave him a look that spoke volumes about what she thought of this way of doing things. But he did not flinch. He didn't turn his head away or blink, proving that he was fully aware of his choices. A long stream of air escaped his superior's nostrils and she continued, as calmly as possible.

“What happened?”

“We discovered that the stalker was nothing less than the new girlfriend of Maeve's ex-fiancé. She broke off their engagement to steal her lover. To get what she had, he added, trying to get her to understand the young woman's psychology as best he could. Except she found out about Reid and Maeve. She then realized that the ex-fiancé was no longer of any use to her.”

“Did she kill him?”

The section leader may not have been a profiler, let alone a field agent, but that didn't stop her from knowing how to add two and two together. With the few crumbs her employee had deigned to throw her, she had been able to make the necessary deductions, and denying the truth would have been quite pointless.

“Unfortunately, agreed Hotch. Maeve was next on the list, but Reid suggested an exchange. Him in place of her. His plan was to present himself to the stalker and make her believe that it was she he loved after all, rather than Maeve.”

“For what purpose?” asked Strauss, eyebrows furrowed.

“Give her what she wanted: the recognition of an intelligent being. A very intelligent being.”

It may seem a trivial detail at first, but the crux of the problem lay in this aspect of the personalities of the protagonists of this sad story. All Diane had asked for was for a great mind – by her own standards – to endorse her and prove that she was not just another grain of sand in the universe. Unable to be content with her simple condition as one human among billions, she had made this quest her obsession, not hesitating for a moment to eliminate anyone in her path.

“Did she accept?”

“To meet him, yes. Alone, without gun and bulletproof vest. “

“You didn't let him?" she said, suddenly concerned.

“I did.”

“But…”

“I know it sounds absurd, but unarmed and unprotected, you seem much less aggressive, which can create a much calmer climate for dialogue.”

It was a dangerous maneuver, one that could turn into a sudden execution at the slightest change of tone or ill-chosen word, and one that only skilled negotiators were expected to carry out; however, circumstances had meant that Spencer had been the one and only potential candidate for the task. And, at this hour, knowing the outcome of this face-to-face encounter, he remained convinced that if Dave, he, or any other member of the BAU had come forward, things would not have gone any better; indeed, the death toll would have been even higher.

“And where were you?”

“Outside. With the rest of the team.”

“You left that kid alone, facing a hysterical, armed woman?”

“This plan could work; I had faith in him.”

Erin couldn’t believe it. From the outset, she had resented the presence of this tall, gangly teenager, who could barely hold a revolver and ran out of steam after only a few yards, in this unit that hunted down the dregs of humanity. In fact, she was quick to remind the man who had welcomed him that she had only agreed to validate his hiring because he should have been sitting behind his desk. And now she discovered that he had been thrown into the lion's den without even the means to defend himself. The absurdity of the situation immediately gave her a headache.

“What went wrong?”

“I don’t know, I wasn’t there, admitted Hotch. We heard a gunshot and went in.”

“Had she killed Maeve?”

“No. She had shot Reid in the arm.”

Better and better, Strauss thought, repressing her urge to scream.

“Please tell me you've put her out of action.”

“No. Reid still felt he could negotiate with her. His life for Maeve’s…”

The giant fell silent as images of the scene flooded back from his memory. Like his colleagues, he replayed that evening over and over again, trying to find the moment when everything had changed. Trying to understand where the mistake had been made, so that it would never be repeated.

“But things didn't turn out as planned, did they?”

“No, he admitted, lowering his nose. Understanding how important Maeve was to Reid – unlike her – she killed two birds with one stone.”

A shiver ran down the section chief’s spine.

“… Meaning?”

“She held Maeve close to her. She aligned her head with Maeve's and pulled the trigger.”

What her imagination drew in her mind immediately made her nauseous. Within seconds, she felt as if all her blood had drained from her extremities. Although more often seated in a chair than pounding the countryside, like the man in front of her, the director knew the terrible damage a firearm could do to a human skull. Witnessing this horrific spectacle live left an indelible mark.

“… D… Dr. Reid was there?”

“Yes. We were all there.”

“And… none of you…?”

“We didn't have time to react, confessed the unit manager, not very proud of this error of judgement. We knew she had suicidal thoughts and was in danger of ending her life before our very eyes, but we didn't anticipate that she would take her target with her.”

He didn't know what it was like for his agents, but he'd clearly underestimated the extent of her neurosis. He hadn't imagined that her anger and hatred would be so great that they would combine at the last minute with her self-destructive impulses. But the mistake he'd made was surely to have let Spencer lead the conversation from start to finish, when he wouldn't have been sure himself – with the hindsight he had at the moment – of preventing her from pulling the trigger. He might have been able to save Maeve, but Diane’s frustration was far too deep-rooted in her veins for her to have listened to reason. And he was an experienced negotiator, unlike the young man who was just starting out in this field.

“… So, to sum up, Strauss resumed, fighting back her desire to raise her voice, three people died while you were unofficially investigating the whereabouts of one of them, involving an agent who was somehow intimately involved with her.”

Hotch nodded without opening his mouth. The section chief hoped this meant he realized the breaches of protocol this whole affair concealed, as well as their consequences. But to be absolutely sure she decided to emphasize the irresponsibility he'd shown over the weekend.

“Do you get that these three deceased people could have been members of your own team? You knowingly put them in danger to find someone Dr. Reid had never even seen! You're a branch manager, you're responsible for the lives of each and every one of your agents; you're not supposed to push them off the rails!”

“They volunteered,” said the profiler calmly.

“What?”

“Once Spencer had finished explaining the problem, I told them we'd have to work under the radar. I gave them the choice of leaving or staying, he explained, before adding: They chose to stay with full knowledge of the facts.”

“Of course, they stayed. You’re as close as the fingers on a hand. Your suggestion was purely rhetorical.”

Although she wasn't around the BAU agents very often, she had studied many of their mission reports and had read a lot of the information between the lines about their group dynamics. With their disparate temperaments, they were nonetheless ready to do anything to protect their peers or come to their aid if need be. A relationship that is more friendly than professional, which management could have welcomed if their actions had not flouted the established rules. She could easily imagine that they hadn't hesitated for a moment to follow their superior's plan, without even considering the possible repercussions on their careers. And she was convinced that Hotch knew it, even before offering them a way out.

“So what? What are you going to do? Cancel Reid’s leave? He doesn't even come out of his home,” he revealed, disguising his concern as best he could.

“I want a report,” she spat in an unapologetic tone.

“No. No way.”

Erin wasn’t surprised by this rebuff. She had even expected it, as well as the battle ahead. The director of the Behavioral Analysis Unit may have adopted an icy demeanor on a daily basis, but he protected the men and women who worked under him with an almost maternal ferocity. His superior had lost count of the number of times she had argued with him for long minutes – or even longer – without succeeding in obtaining the name of the culprit(s) in his team. Failing that, she'd had to fall back on him, except that he didn't seem to mind in the least. But this time, she was determined to win this face-to-face encounter, even more so now that she knew the details of this sordid story.

“Hotch, I want a mission report about this case.”

“If I do this, the others will have to do one too and everyone will pay for it.”

In fact, according to established protocol, each agent quoted in his brief was required to write his or her own version of the facts, so that all aspects of the case would be known to the higher-ups. As a result, if the file showed that mistakes had been made, the competent authorities only had to bend down to pick out the names of the culprits and punish them as they saw fit.

“You don’t have to put any names.”

“Please, no one up there will believe that I conducted this investigation alone or with complete strangers. And even less that I've managed to analyze data here, while being elsewhere.”

He had a point, but she hadn't said her last word.

“The Committee won't let me go until they really know what happened.”

“I refuse to sacrifice my team because they wanted to save someone in defiance of a sacrosanct protocol established by bureaucrats.”

“Aaron, you can't use FBI equipment for personal purposes!”

“That woman was in danger!”

Silence fell over the office following these sudden outbursts, and the two fighters stared at each other for a long moment, concentrating to keep from blinking. Strauss sighed.

“Hotch, like it or not, I need something official, in writing, to present to the Committee. Something that could justify turning on your analyst's computers, moving your vehicles, using your phones, and giving Dr. Reid unlimited time off. Without the bait, you know exactly who the piranhas are going to pounce on.”

Indeed, he could see perfectly well who was going to suffer the brunt of this backlash. That said, he knew that the result would be more or less the same whether he wrote something or not. Right now, the Bureau's top brass didn't know who was responsible for all this unauthorized activity, so their wrath could fall on anyone. However, being no fools, they would logically turn their attention to the usual owners of said equipment, summoning the unit manager as a matter of priority to get to the bottom of the whole affair. And if he gave them his report, even if he omitted the identity of those present, the brass would come down on him and demand clarification. He wouldn't supply them, of course, but this first step forward, a sign of goodwill on his part, would perhaps mitigate their desire to remove him from office.

“… How soon do you need it?”

“First thing in the morning.”

“My report is likely to be very concise.”

“Do your best.”

Without another word, she indicated the exit with her chin. Accustomed to this stinginess in politeness, he got up and headed for the closed door.

“Aaron,” she called out as he put his hand on the handle.

Without saying a word, he slowly turned around, wondering what else she wanted from him.

“How is he doing?”

Hotch frowned, unsettled. His superior rarely worried about his flock, even though she knew how difficult their mission was and what they had been through. For all he knew, she'd done nothing for JJ when she'd nearly been eaten alive by rabid dogs, nor for Derek when he'd come within a hair's breadth of exploding in a New York ambulance, nor for Penelope after she'd been shot in the chest. Why she was asking him? What did she really wanted to know? Impossible to determine as it stands, he concluded in his mind. He didn't have enough information to answer these questions and didn't intend to linger in the office any longer. What's more, even if the probability was low, it was possible that the section chief might actually be on their side this time, smoothing things over with the bigwigs at FBI headquarters. And so, he decided to play fair.

“Like a teenager who's lost the love of his life.”

___

Not my best work imo, but I like some lines here and there. :)

Hope you'll like it better.

3 notes · View notes