#We don't need a bunch of scenes like hey I'm specific character A I like mouse

[mandareeboo]

this is the most random thing I've ever asked— [ahem] if you could rewrite Warrior Cats, would you? What main things would you change?

I mean, there's the obvious stuff about the sexism and the ableism, but that's kind of a lame answer. A lot of people would fix that and it feels like a copout to throw that at you lol.

You know what I hate about the new series? There's no staying power for its protags. The narrative moves on without recognizing them. It's been like twenty books but you know damn well who Graystripe is. You know that Dustpelt is a den builder. Brightheart faced dogs. There's so many jokes about Brackenfur on patrol because we recognize Brackenfur and we give him (playful) hell for constantly being selected for shit.

Can you, as a person, tell me anything specific about Eaglewing? Conefoot? Fernstripe? We aren't given anything to familiarize ourselves with the new generation. It's always signs from StarClan or murmurs from our old friends and no justice for the new kids on the block. What will we remember of Needleclaw in four books? Is the name Dewnose gonna ring any bells by the next arc?

[bengiyo]

Hey there!

I've seen a bunch of peeps echoing your thoughts on the KH adaptation, like how it's kinda "Japanese" and might be hard to transfer. Can you talk about what exactly gives KH that "Japanese" vibe? I've checked out some JBLs, but my memory of KH is lowkey foggy. Or if you've talked about this before elsewhere, can you drop the link pls? (btw, loving your stray thoughts posts – they're a life saver keeping up with all the BLs. Thanks!)

I'm trying to find a useful way to describe this. Japanese live-action media still hearkens back to a stage tradition, and as such you need to widen your eye to appreciate what's going on.

Close-Ups

I think Westerners watching Asian media rely heavily on close-ups of actors doing things to read their emotions in a scene, and that's not always where the most important stuff is happening in a Japanese drama.

I'm struggling with the gif search, but this shot above is a good example of that stage tradition. Hashimoto was feeling embarrassed at this moment and wanted to leave, so she literally exists stage right. The Japanese also love depth of frame. We see Aida as the barrier she has to cross to leave in the foreground, and we can see that life is still going on in the background.

I think a lot of us in the West rely on close ups like this to read characters from any given moment, and you see this reflected in what gets giffed and what doesn't. Michieda Shunsuke has incredibly large and expressive facial features, and he exaggerates them constantly to play up the hyperreal aspects of Aoki, which is another staple of these kinds of Japanese stories.

You got a lot of this in Mr. Unlucky Has No Choice But to Kiss! as well.

I'm struggling right now because I don't feel like fighting Viki and God Himself to get screenshots of the wider shots in the show, but the wider shots allow for us to get information about multiple characters and the dynamics between them quickly.

Thematic Focus

Another thing that Japanese dramas have that sticks out for me is focus. Because filming in Japan is expensive, most of their comedies of any sort are in a half-hour time slot, a lot like US comedies. You have to use your time wisely, and so there's far less mission creep to create an in-show ad for juice or to insert or expand side characters to try out other pitches that didn't make the cut for the whole show.

The entire focus of Kieta Hatsukoi's TV Asahi adaptation focuses on the complications around the confused romances between Aoki, Hashimoto, Ida, and Aida. We spend time with Aoki's disaster bi revelation, his and Hashimoto's cowardice in romance, and Ida's demisexual discovery. We cover a lot of ground in 10 short episodes that Thailand media won't in 12 long episodes.

As a result, the pacing overall tends to be extremely consistent and you're rarely asking yourself why a narrative beat is happening. Because this show is about two characters having a queer awakening, we get interactions across age groups about what it means for these boys to be Known Queers in their community and see them deal with that.

Emotional Communication

One of the other things that feels distinctly Japanese is the ways characters will communicate their feelings to each other. Sometimes there's a stoic layer coming from male characters who won't express themselves because they think their actions are making it clear, and then another character will come through to challenge their presumptions about what has been done and what hasn't been said.

One of my favorite moments is in episode 9 when Aoki gets frustrated that Ida doesn't seem to be straining under hormonal urges the way he is, which lands well because the audience and Ida knows that Aoki is struggling with those urges.

Some of this could come down to translation issues and the things that are presumed in Thai that don't always make it specifically onto the screen, but oftentimes I find that Thai characters are having a big confrontation about the wrong issue that misses the core fight, and then that gets resolved as if it was the core disconnect.

Those are just some of my thoughts firing from the hip. The vibe felt off in the trailer we saw yesterday and it left me feeling deeply uninspired. I'm hoping that as they work on the script and preparations for the roles the Thai version will be solid, but adaptations don't always work.

[azurecrystalz]

[Translation] Scout! Romantic? Date / Love and Hate Quantified Chapter 8

Content Warning: Mentions of a pairing with an ambiguous age gap

A few minutes later

Tatsumi: Now, let's begin the filming once again.

Mayoi: Hiii! I'll be in your care!

Tatsumi: Yes, and I in yours. Anzu-san--I believe--was able to communicate with the producers of "Ai-stars" and get them to switch the pairings.

Tatsumi: Now, the pairings will be "Kazehaya Tatsumi and Ayase Mayoi" as well as "HiMERU and Oukawa Kohaku". Let's all do our best to act as "characters in a dating simulator"~

Mayoi: Even if it's just a little, I'll give it my best...!

Kohaku: Just so you know. Anzu-han is gonna be off to the side somewhere filming with some special equipment. So just act natural and don't be too uptight about the camera being around. That's probably the "correct answer too. If you try acting, it's just gonna feel forced, so you're better off just doing as you normally do. That's how me and Love-han got the "OK" yesterday too, we just talked like normal. I don't really get any of the reasoning behind it, but what the "Producers" say goes I guess.

HiMERU: --If "Ai-stars" is meant to be a dating simulator between men and women, then wouldn't it be more efficient to create a pairing with Anzu-san? HiMERU was also unfamiliar with "men whispering sweet nothings to each other", so he wasn't able to act well without enough information. Though if a pairing with Anzu-san was created, there would at least be a specific way to act. There's multiple examples to follow from existing books and movies.

Kohaku: See, that's what I said, but it turns out Anzu-han isn't comfortable with it. She doesn't like the idea of "Producers" misusing their power against idols or something.

HiMERU: That's the exact premise of "Ai-stars" though.

HiMERU: --Well, forcing people into doing something they don't want to is no good. Idols are oftentimes made to do jobs they don't like with smiles on their faces, and Anzu-san is no idol.

Tatsumi: Yes. Though I must feel grateful since she's doing so much to help us despite this not being her issue ro begin with. Anzu-san is truly a wonderful "Producer". Seeing as we're indebted to her--we as idols should complete this task with all we have. But first, we should spend time together and with our respective pairings since that was the instructions we received first. Best of luck, HiMERU-san.

HiMERU: Haa. Tatsumi hanging around aimlessly is annoying, but HiMERU is bent on completing the job thoroughly.

Tatsumi: Yes. I respect that part of you greatly--I always have.

HiMERU: .........

Tatsumi: Alright, Mayoi-san! Let us begin this fun date! I'm not really familiar with dating, but we should spend time as if we're a married couple[1] having fun in a safe way correct?

Mayoi: A married couple...?! I-it can't be, I'm completely in shock!

Tatsumi: Ah! Please look, there they're selling clothes and accessories that would look wonderful on you Mayoi-san~

Mayoi: Hiii, a cross....?!

Tatsumi: You don't like it?

Mayoi: I don't I doooooon't, hiiii...! I'll melt, I'll melt and be turned into a heap of muuuuud?!

Kohaku: Kokoko~ Those two over there seem pretty chummy don't they? I suppose we'd have to act our part in a chummy scene too, but I'm not too keen with that kinda thing. I meant to ask Love-han about it yesterday since he seemed to know a bunch about that kinda thing, but we got the "OK" while we were distracted talking about other things...I really just don't get it. And so, I'm not really sure what to do. HiMERU-han, maybe you could tell me? HiMERU-han you know I'd help you out in anyway I can right? Do you need to hold hands? Hey, hey?

[Oukawa Kohaku / Relationship: Friend? / Status: Calm / Affinity: 44]

HiMERU: What's with that question mark?!

Kohaku: What are you on about?! Just what is going on with you lately, HiMERU-han? Maybe you should take a break?

HiMERU: --No. HiMERU and Tatsumi are the main focuses of this activity, so we can't possibly leave.

Kohaku: If you say so...

HiMERU: Seeing as you and the others came all the way here, Oukawa, getting this done today needs to be ensured no matter the cost. --So please don't worry, HiMERU is a professional.

Kohaku: Wait, wasn't it because the professionals were rusty that we had to come out here?[2]

[Oukawa Kohaku / ↓↓ Affinity Decreased ↓↓]

HiMERU: (Ggggh! How absurd! This is inconceivable! HiMERU was just talking like he usually does, and yet Oukawa's Affinity keeps doing down! Wait. Actually, why is Oukawa's Affinity so low to begin with? According to HiMERU's calculations it should be at the very least 90!)

Kohaku: Ufufu. Seems like this is really running you through the dirt, HiMERU-han. Kokoko~ Maybe this isn't the best time to say so, but I'm kind of glad because you really don't show when you're having trouble at all, HiMERU-han. You definitely don't show emotions like anger or envy either.

HiMERU: ....Because HiMERU is an idol. The best and the most perfect in the world.

Kohaku: Yeah. Maybe so, but "Crazy:B" aren't really proper idols. Take Niki-han, he's always thinking about food like a kid or animal--and then there's Rinne-han, who's always got something to be pissed at, but he swallows it and calmly puts a plan together. He's like a steam engine that's got a roaring flame in him, and that's what keeps him going. We've only been able to come this far being tugged along by a guy like him.

HiMERU: --Just what are you trying to say, Oukawa?

Kohaku: Basically, our leader Rinne-han would never ignore the fire that's in us. If anything, he'd actually just fuel it even more.

HiMERU: ......

Kohaku: I've always been angry too. At the annoyances of day to day life. At this unfair world. At my family's disturbing business. At the smiles of my parents and sisters, that always felt forced. Everything I hated I wanted to get rid of.

Kohaku: Rinne-han, and "Crazy:B", accepted such an ugly side of me. I was allowed to be angry and to kick and scream like a spoiled brat. All those people that say "don't be an eyesore, don't be shameful" and force our heads down, they're our enemies. Niki-han's taught me a thing or two lately too. We can be more like him and follow our desires more. Yeah, his way of living is the "correct" answer for "Crazy:B". It's part of the reason why Rinne-han loves him so much--and accepts him.

HiMERU: No, Amagi seems to be the hardest on Shiina.

Kohaku: Kokoko~ That just means Rinne-han's not afraid to be himself too, right? He just lives however he wants without a care.

Kohaku: I want to live that way too...though I can't force you to do that, HiMERU-han. I don't even know what type of person you are, what you like or hate. I still don't know a thing about you yet, HiMERU-han.

HiMERU: Oukawa, "I"--

[1]: Yes, Tatsumi does in fact use the word for "married people" here KHFDS Mayoi does so right after as well. [2]: This reads more like Kohaku is muttering this under his breath.

Good fucking bye I hate this story actually

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[thyandrawrites]

I love reading your insightful thoughts on topics regarding mha and especially touya you alone bring my hype up

I just wanted to ask, after having read your rei meta (which I agree with wholeheartedly) I can't help but feel kind of a distaste towards some actions towards some members BECAUSE of the narrative framing

Rei calling her son "dabi" in the hospital scene was so distasteful considering she was ready to forgive her husband after everything but it almost narratively seems she holds no such regard towards the son whose demise she took part in regardless of intention

Also in the mental hospital scene where fuyumi was telling that "natsuo is the only one who isn't letting begones be begone" like hello? we are talking about you dead brother who mer his end due to your father's actions?

I don't know I am pretty sure it's because of horikoshi and I shouldn't think like this blaming the characters because he is the writer after all but the way he writes rei and fuyumi sometimes is so distasteful to me that I almost wish touya never returns to that home where he was labeled a black sheep simply for being self aware because of how they used him as a scrapegoat especially in the hospital chapter

Ps i am well aware touya will probably reunite with his family and all will be well but it's the narrative choices that kind of make me dislike them even endeavor who is pathetic is at leadt enjoyable to read in a sense that he stays true to character to an extent. Shouto is on the way of reaching an epiphany about how to reach his brother as family instead of a hero so i still have hope for him and natsuo is still true to character kind of in the hospital chapters but fuyumi and rei got me fighting against everything in me to not dislike them. Even toga and freaking afo calls him touya but his family is stuck with dabi like bffr

Hey! First of all, thank you for reading my stuff! I'm glad it can bring you some positivity in these otherwise trying times as a Touya stan. 

Now, to answer you... I debated how best to approach this reply, because there's a number of ways I could go about this. But you specifically mentioned the framing, so I'm gonna build my argument on that. 

So. How is Horikoshi framing Touya in the eyes of the Todofam? As you said yourself, they’re treating him like the black sheep to Shouto's golden child, and uniting to stop him. 

From what I understand, though, you seem dissatisfied with the execution because you think that while every other fam member acts coherent about either blaming or wanting to rescue Touya, the Todoroki women are outliers because they have instances where they go back on that resolve to save him to blame Touya instead. 

Am I getting this correctly? 

If so, I think there is a problem with that conclusion. It's not just the women who go back and forth, and in fact, I think Rei and Fuyumi are the mildest ones of the bunch. But for reasons that I'm going to dissect later, I also think the fandom… latches on to them as exceptions, and in the process doesn't understand that it's meant to be a family narrative in which all of them are imperfect. 

(putting this under a cut for length)

I think it’s important to remember that all the Todorokis agreed that Touya needs stopping. Not just Rei and Enji, or not even just the two heroes, Shouto and Enji. All of them gathered in that hospital room to discuss family matters, and they reached that conclusion as a collective decision. 

Now, I’m stressing this because the language they used is peculiar. We all noticed that they said that Touya needs stopping, not saving. But when it comes to the Todofam, that word carries a certain weight, and I don’t think it was used randomly here. 

As this person pointed out in this post, Touya was always asked to “stop” whenever his self-awareness or his attempts to be acknowledged disrupted the family dynamics. This is less apparent if you haven’t checked out the revised flashbacks in chapter 302. But the fact that Horikoshi went back to alter the storyboard and narration for the tankobon release means he wanted to draw more attention to something, to make it clearer for the audience. And indeed, the why becomes clear when we see Shouto confront Dabi and echo the same words: “please, stop.”

[source]

The Todorokis haven’t yet reached a place where they can fully sympathize with Touya. In Shouto’s case, it’s because he doesn’t know his brother; he can empathize with Touya’s circumstances, but not with Touya’s reasons. After all, Shouto is a successful creation. He never faced the brunt of the entire family’s blame and disappointment. As a result, he doesn’t understand that this approach is doomed to fail, because it echoes the scoldings Dabi’s used to. 

Whenever someone tried to reason with Touya, it was always framed as if the root of Touya’s unhappiness (and the family’s by extension) was his refusal to quit his ambitions. Basically, they told him that it was his fault, and not his father’s for putting those ambitions in him. Even if it’s Enji who’s guilty of rewriting Touya’s sense of self around an impossible goal, the one who’s held accountable for it is the victim. 

Not only do they all ask Touya to stop over and over (and not his father), but Touya’s also blamed for the fallout of Enji’s abuse. First, he was framed as the reason for Enji to keep making replacements, then for why Enji isolated Shouto from his siblings. It’s always because of him. Because Touya couldn’t quit. 

Even now that the family supposedly knows better, they’re still struggling to move on from that pattern. Just like how back then Touya was always singled out as the disruption, as the element of unrest, Dabi is still pushed into this role. Except now he’s singled out as the disruptive element that exacerbates not only the inner dynamics of the family, but of society as a whole. Once again, his refusal to stop is making things worse for everyone willing to just lay down and take it in silence. Because of it, he’s not regarded with sympathy. Instead, all the flaws he addresses are his responsibility to bear. It doesn’t matter if those issues existed before him. He becomes the suitable scapegoat.  

Now, all of these are things you seem well aware of. But you still singled out Fuyumi and Rei as subjects of your ire, and I don’t think that’s entirely fair. If this was something we could blame just on one character, or just on Rei and Enji as parents, we wouldn’t have heard the same words repeated by multiple family members. We would’ve at least seen someone push back against them. 

Instead, even Shouto is still torn between seeing Touya as a villain and as his older brother. Linkspooky wrote an excellent post on this recently that I encourage you to check out. 

This makes sense for him because Dabi was just a villain to him until a while ago. He has no solid memories of Touya because as a kid he wasn’t allowed to exist in the same room as his siblings. Yet, he has several memories of his brother as an enemy. He fought against him. Dabi kidnapped his classmate. So that mental divide is at least somewhat justified. It’s hard to wrap your head around the fact that your presumed dead brother, who you only saw as a normal kid in your sparse memories, committed atrocities and tried to kill you and your dad (and himself). 

However, I also think this divide works on a societal scale as well. During the present arc, we’ve seen the hero kids struggle to reconcile the idea of the League as victims with the crimes they’ve committed. Those two sides should coexist; one doesn’t exclude the other. Hurting people doesn’t mean someone can’t have hurt you first. The kids seem aware of this, unlike the rest of society. They see the League’s victimhood. The problem is, they still think in terms of which side weighs in more, which one deserves more of their heroic efforts. And because the people they’ve hurt are multiple, while their victimhood only involves a single person, the good of the many always ends up being more important than showing sympathy. 

This is what happens with Uraraka, for example. She remembers Toga’s tears, and wants to help her smile, but because Toga is part of the League and wreaked havoc in several cities with the PLF, killing many innocents… that sympathy becomes conditional. So Uraraka looks at the destroyed landscape to remind herself that there’s also another side of Toga. One less worthy of her concern. One that deserves it, because this suffering she’s experiencing is Toga’s own fault. If Toga wants to live her version of a happy life, she tells her, she also must be ready to live with the consequences. 

This sentiment is the same that Shouto later directs at his brother. You can’t blame dad for the lives you took, he tells Touya, because you did those things, not Endvr. They are your own fault. 

The problem with this approach is that it asks victims to put their shit together on their own, for everyone else’s convenience, without anyone else involved in fixing a broken system. And most importantly, it also asks victims to face the consequences of their actions, while also turning around and not holding abusers accountable for their own. 

The fact that this idea is explored through Toga and Shigaraki as well makes me think it goes beyond the Todofam’s dysfunctionality. But to bring this back to them… 

Do I think it’s distasteful that the framing treats Touya this way? Yes. It hurts to watch on a near constant basis, even when I know there’s likely a reason for it. But at the same time, I dislike on principle when people hold Rei and Fuyumi to a higher standard than the men in the house for displaying character flaws. 

Now, don't get me wrong. I'm not accusing you of purposeful malice or anything like that. You're clearly struggling against your instinctive dislike, and you came here to discuss it, so I presume you're looking for reasons to either reinforce it, or to let go of it. I hope that by the end of this, you will find some more reasons to be kind to them regardless of the quality of the writing. 

What I’ve noticed during my time in this fandom is a certain... expectation, almost...? for women to always perform the role of "perfect victims", with the penance of getting the brunt of the fandom's anger when they don't. 

What does that even mean? 

In short, women in fiction aren't given the same leniency as their male counterparts when it comes to displaying said flaws. While for men having any is typically regarded as a good thing because it gives the character depth, when women do something “wrong,” they get crucified. 

I believe this happens in the bnha fandom as well, particularly amongst Todofam stans. While Shouto, Natsuo and Touya are all allowed to be imperfect, and their rough edges get widely recognized as faucets of trauma, Fuyumi and Rei aren't given the same sympathy. 

As I mentioned above, Shouto gets to be undecided and to direct unkind words to his brother without the same backlash from fans. Natsuo is allowed to put faith in Enji because he shows reluctance to trust his old man. But the women are hated because they take a less belligerent approach to Enji’s atonement. 

I believe that the reason why so many fans struggle to like Fuyumi and Rei is because they misread them. Their lack of outright hostility is widely interpreted as forgiveness, when in fact, it’s not quite written that way. I find that equating their willingness to let Enji try to be a better person with forgiveness is a flattening of their depth as abuse survivors. 

I think much of the blame Rei faces isn’t actually rooted in anything particularly bad she did in canon. Most of the things we can blame her for are also things that Enji did alongside her, and Enji did them with far more cruelty and selfishness. But! I also think that some people have an instinctual dislike of her because she’s written with a lot of stereotypes of submissive femininity in mind, and that understandably makes a lot of folks uncomfortable. 

What I’ve seen is that because Enji is a pos, people have turned to Rei in hopes she could be a better parent, or someone okay-ish enough to make up for the bad, you know? And that’s totally fair. I’ve done the same. But I also think that in the process, people sort of created this idealized version of her that then didn’t live up to her canon characterization. They—perhaps subconsciously—wanted her to be a good victim and a good mom, when she’s meant to be neither. I think she’s more nuanced than that, and that perfect victims don’t really exist anyway. 

But because they expected her to balance out Enji’s bad, they don’t really know what to make of a character who’s now written to parallel him in many ways. While she did not hit her kids, she still hurt them in other ways. While she tried her best to oppose her husband’s will, she still didn’t oppose it in a way that mattered when it came to Touya’s mental well-being in particular. Just like Enji, she was shown to be neglectful and avoidant of her eldest.

This makes her a nuanced character. Just like Touya, she can have done horrible things and still be a victim because the two things can coexist. But expecting her to be just one over the other, ironically, results in the same scapegoating Touya’s being subjected to by the narrative. 

The fact that she’s a victim and that she ended up hurting others as a result of unaddressed and spiraling mental health problems aren’t factors that are battling for dominance. You’re not supposed to look at her and think “the bad she’s done outweighs the good, hence she doesn’t deserve any sympathy.” If you’re not doing that for Touya, why are you doing it for her? 

To address the one complaint you mentioned about her, the fact that she calls her son “Dabi.”

She does that once. 

In fact, if you look at it closely you’ll notice something interesting. She calls him “Dabi” when she’s thinking of him as a villain. When the topic of fighting comes up, and with it, the emotional baggage that “stopping” Touya already has as an ongoing theme. But Rei also calls him “our son” when she’s apologizing to Hawks for the burns, and she calls him “Touya” when she’s confronting Enji. To me, this confirms the idea I talked about above, the mental divide that makes it harder to reconcile the villain with the crying boy they remember. Rei, like Shouto, loves Touya, but her reaction isn’t perfect because she’s an imperfect victim living in a flawed world. 

In the grand scheme of things, the issue with the framing of Touya as a bad sheep does exist, but I don’t blame it on Rei specifically. I think there’s a fundamental difference between her calling her son “Dabi” that one time versus Enji privately thinking of Touya as a mass murderer. 

Putting this out there for those who can’t read japanese. The word (in kanji) Enji uses here reads tairyousatsujinsha. Which means indeed “mass murderer.” We only know that he’s even referring to Touya because the furigana (which typically shows the actual reading of the word in kanji) reads a different word, musuko, “son.” 

So, sure, might be more internally coherent as an asshole who can’t face his actions, but getting angry at Rei for calling Touya “Dabi” seems rather… mean-spirited imho, when it’s not even on the same magnitude of alienation Enji shows for the blood of his blood here. He doesn’t even call him the more generic word for villain. Not his chosen villain moniker, either. He goes straight for the moral upper ground of calling attention to Dabi’s crimes, when he can’t even properly own up to his own.  

Anyway. Moving on, there’s also the topic of Fuyumi. You mentioned that her line “letting bygones stay bygones” was in the hospital chapters, but I couldn’t find it there. Were you by chance referencing this?

because if so, I believe the above panel on the left comes from a fan scanlation. If you compare it to the official Viz translation, her words don't carry quite the same edge. Now, the wording is similar enough that it might be an instance of Viz correcting the release at a later date (it has happened before. Japanese is a tricky language). 

But since you quoted this line, let’s discuss the nuance. 

In the picture on the left, Fuyumi appears less sympathetic towards Natsu. It reads like she's blaming him for being too stubborn to let the past go, while also minimizing the extent of his trauma as something that can be just… brushed off. As something that should stay in the past. 

As opposed to that, the version on the right puts more emphasis on the process of grieving, on Natsuo's mental well-being. "Can't seem to let go" still carries the same implication that closure on Touya’s death is desirable, but her phrasing is soft enough that it comes across like she's sad about Natsuo’s sadness. Like she wishes he'd let himself find some peace, after all this time.

I'm bringing up both these versions because I wanted to compare and contrast them to the original. See, the jp text says this: 

Which translates to: "Only Natsuo can't lower his raised fist." 

Being fair to the eng translation, all these versions more or less say the same thing. She's still singling out Natsuo for reacting differently from the rest of them. Which does indeed seem like she’s blaming him for it.

However, the original wording has a completely different nuance imho. By bringing attention to his raised fist, Fuyumi is commenting on Natsuo using anger as a coping mechanism to deal with his grief. The emphasis then is not so much on whether or not she thinks he should "let go" or "let bygones be bygones," but on the fact that Natsuo is stuck in that defense position. His fists are permanently raised, and he cannot let them lower. He's constantly poised for a fight, and as a result, he always slams headfirst into one. 

I think this confirms my reading of Fuyumi as a mediator, as someone trying her best to de-escalate all the fighting in the house. 

In this post I explained why I think she's stuck into a part herself. As the big sister who stepped into the role of caretaker at a young age, Fuyumi displays all the traits of someone who learned early on to fear explosive tempers, and resorted to acting like the patient one to protect her siblings. She sorta acts like a… fire-retardant blanket, so to say. She attempts to put out fires before they can get bigger by sucking out the air that keeps them alight. She’s shown doing this with Natsuo during dinner, and she’s shown often playing mediator to avoid explosive tempers from bursting. 

I think a lot of people read her as someone pursuing her idea of a perfect family because she remembers a time where things were better and wants that again. The problem with that, imho, is when people call her selfish for it. When they say she’s pressuring her brothers into forgiving Enji like she did. I find that—at least the latter part—a malicious misreading rooted in badly hidden misogyny. Why is she not allowed to want things that are at odds with her brother’s wishes, but her siblings are allowed to want things that are at odds with hers? Why is she perceived as selfish for it, but her brothers are not? And why is the reading of her as forceful in this pursuit so widespread, when she made no attempts to steer Natsuo back in both times he stormed out the room?

It seems to me like the same issue with Rei. Fuyumi needs to be a good victim and a good sister, or be crucified if she dares have flaws and imperfections. But again, just like Rei, she’s a victim as well, and she has trauma too. I think people shouldn’t presume that her feelings for her abuser are clearcut and black and white. 

I know it’s easy to dislike her because she seemingly “forgave” Enji, but so far she’s never stated that. It’s the audience’s inference that she has. The fact that she wants a shot at having a more normal family doesn’t mean she thinks Enji did a 180°. It just means she’s willing to give him a chance to be a better person, which is something that Shouto’s also shown doing. But because Shouto remains hostile while Fuyumi makes an effort to treat Enji like a person, it’s widely assumed she must have no complex feelings for her father, or that she’s okay with moving on. 

I find that an oversimplification. Don’t get me wrong, I know the Todoroki women are much less fleshed out than the men. Rei doesn’t even have a character profile yet. But because of this, I wish the fandom didn’t jump for their throat based on those few sparse lines we do have. Just because Horikoshi hates women doesn’t mean we should all follow in his example 

Let’s all allow ourselves to think these characters can have depth. To experiment and play with ideas when something’s yet unconfirmed, to headcanon and theorize and fill the gaps of missing info like we do for other (male) characters. I promise it’s much more fun than getting angry or upset at all the failings from canon

If that's not your cup of tea... that's fine, but I hope I was at least able to make you consider something you hadn't thought of before

[lovecolibri]

SaL anon here my friend, only mildly hung over but still severely disappointed, just coming into your inbox to share my random finale complaints that have been stockpiling.

Already been said many times but why Marisol again?? Just why??

You know what the awkwardness of the daddy talk reminded me of?? Remember in RNM 3x01 when Alex came back and told Forest "a man has needs" or some shit and we all collectively cringed away from our screens?? Its was sooo weirdly out of place and character and that's exactly what the dinner scene is. Also notably written by a former showrunner who won't stop fucking up storylines at every opportunity.

How exactly is the Chris leaving BS supposed to last more than like, 1 week tops??? When Helena (and Ramon) tried to take him 7 years ago and get their redo he was just a kid, but now he's a teenager whose been raised by Eddie Diaz. Not saying he's ready for college or to make his own housing decisions or anything 🙄, but his personality and preferences are not going to change much. He's not the moldable little kid anymore, and the moment Helena realizes that and Chris realizes that's what they wanted him for wouldn't jump on the next flight?? I know there's so much about that arc that's utter nonsense but did the writers put any thought into the characters at all??

Anyway, I probably should do my job for a few hours before I go completely off the rails, hope your own recovery is going well!!

Hey bestie! If it seems like you haven't heard from me all day, that's because I girlbossed too close to the post limit sun reblogging every petty, irritated, frustrated, what-in-the-actual-fuck-was-that post. I scheduled a bunch too do drop after the doors open on the post limit jail cells, this one among them.

I'm sitting here with my twisted peach tea, fresh off of work and a trip to the store (it was awful and full of people and only one lane open that could sell alcohol, AND they didn't have the honeycomb ice cream I specifically went there to get and try out with my earl grey tea ice cream because the universe hates me), just still so SO frustrated that once again they let KR swoop in at the last minute and snatch defeat from the jaws of victory in the finale. Not even anything Buddie related, just in making literally ANY storyline all season have a good narrative payoff that felt like we went somewhere. Even the most watchable part of the episode (the Mara reunion) fell flat because we didn't see Hen and Karen putting up the fight they set up with the councilwoman, and Maddie and Chim had time all season to talk about maybe having another child, or fostering to make them able to swoop in at the last minute make sense but instead it just came out of the blue! (And don't get me started on the whole "this lesbian couple can't have a kid but the straight couple runs into no issues despite Chim being involved on scene in the death of the councilwoman's son).

ANYWAY. Let's talk about your bullet points please, because I have THOUGHTS.

1/3. Marisol was literally less than useless and if they HAD to avoid an off-screen hiatus breakup (they didn't need to, no one remembered her, it would have been fine) they easily could have ditched her in 7x05 and it would have affected absolutely nothing.

IMAGINE Buck is the one taking Chris to the movies and walks in on "Shannon" and Eddie? We get some Buddie angst with them having to talk out what happened because Buck was worried before but now he's WORRIED, and we could have gotten a more heartfelt resolution with Chris by allowing Eddie and Chris to have one single conversation this whole season, and maybe deciding together to go to therapy in a couple weeks when he gets back from his pre-planned summer vacation to Texas.

Then start s8 with Chris having delayed coming back all summer, and Ramon and Helena facilitating getting him into camps and stuff so he "couldn't" come back and Eddie starting to get fed up and maybe being ready to go to Texas himself to get Chris when whatever disaster the opening is strikes. Cue Chris seeing it on the news and panicking and demanding to go home and see his dad. It would be satisfying to watch, and would tug on the heartstrings without ripping them out for no good goddamn reason and punishing Eddie so severely while also NOT actually dealing with his issues about Shannon!! *screams into pillow* If we never see or hear about her again it will be too soon. They have drug this out past the point of any purpose and it needs to be put to fucking rest, 25ft down so it can't crawl back up. Doused in holy water just in case.

It really feels like they had a plan for Buck with the whole Natalia thing fizzling out and breaking up which I actually am glad we didn't see because as this season proved, it is LONG past time to leave Buck withering away in unfulfilling relationships he don't know how he got into in the first place, but once that was gone he got the coming out bit and....nothing much else all season and even that was one episode and then a couple minutes of screentime sprinkled throuout that used those precious seconds to show us how incredibly ill-matched they are. While Eddie, who was SUPPOSED to have the coming out arc (that was maybe more in-depth and planned to ACTUALLY deal with the Shannon of it all), was also left with a "well what do we do with him now" arc. Spoiler alert, it was NOT THIS. So no, I don't think they had the time in the shortened time frame they had to put literally ANY thought into what to do with these characters.

Point 2. My friend. Not only are you EXACTLY right about the tonal issue matching that cringe AF scene from RNM, but I will raise you that, AND everything about 2x06, including fandom swooping in to claim everyone who didn't fall all over themselves about that scene being amazing was a) homophobic and b) puritanical, pearl-cultching, and uneducated. Oh! and c) just needs to learn how to fucking multi-ship and be happy with whatever is on screen because it couldn't POSSIBLY be better, and you should just accept it now. 😒😒😒

It's gonna be a loooooong fucking hiatus but here's hoping Timmy got all the Lone Star brainworms out and can not just pack a punch in the disaster opening (RIP to everyone who didn't like the cruise ship disaster, I had a great time and it was the best opening in YEARS), but can actually follow through on storylines and emotional beats all season. And maybe get more calls??? On the weewoo show?? It was always and issue on LS too which I thought was Rob Lowe syndrome an all the "Owen things firefighting is boring" stuff but maybe it's budget constraints? Yo! ABC! Give us the cash for good emergencies! And of course, they need to get Kristen the FUCK out of the writers room. Please, literally ANY cop show out there, we are literally BEGGING you to take her off our hands!

Bright side, I have been working on my Countdowns fic (I posted a little bit last week and I want to try and work on it more now that all my shows are on hiatus), and while *I* may be the worlds slowest writer, I just know the Buddie fandom is going to come through with some BANGER canon-fix-it fics. So cheers to that, and lets pray the muse smiles on me astronaut!Buck/medic!Eddie so I can actually contribute something. I'm gonna go make a flatbread spinach and artichoke pizza, watch something, literally ANYTHING else, and oggle my d20 Bad Kids dice that arrived today, my Ayda pin, and my Jawbone quote mug and not think about 911 for a little bit. (until I'm allowed out of post-limit jail and can go back to being a petty bench on main).

Take a breath, we can get through this hiatus together! At least we know we have Oliver and Ryan on our side, so let's make some Buddie content for them to send to each other to help THEM through this rough time.

[good-wine-and-cheese]

hey carmen! i hope youre doing well! :D P, G, R, W for the ask game?

I'm doing dandy thanks and thank you for the ask! :)

P. Invent a random AU for any fandom (we always need more ideas).

Oh fun! Since I'm in Pluto brainland right now and already have a bunch of AUs rattling around about it I'll share one of those. I have in mind this AU where, during the 39th Central Asian War, Gesicht is critically damaged and has to be sent back for repairs by his creator (the damage is too intricate and complex for most field techs to fix him). Hoffman, faced with the visceral consequences of Gesicht being sent to war, takes matters into his own hands and runs off with Gesicht. I just think about how it's probably something Hoffman never wanted to put his creation through but wasn't able to stand up to higher ups at the time. I think faced with the violence and terror of the war coupled with Gesicht returning to him badly damaged would be the catalyst for him to recognize the system for what it is and work to support robots in a more earnest way that maybe requires him to be in hiding.

G. Have you ever had an OTP? If so, do you remember your first one? Who was in it?

So I don't think I define OTP the same way that most people do. "OTP" to me is just "the ship that is my favourite to think about" I guess, but I will still actively ship those characters individually with other characters, too. That said, my first OTP was McSpirk. 12 year old me took angsty pictures of Spock, Kirk and McCoy (and variations of them together) and made Windows Movie Maker slideshows with them to angsty billy talent and three days grace songs

R. Which friendship/platonic relationship is your favorite in fandom?

Favourite platonic relationships in fandom! That's hard, because tbf I like a lot of them. It's generally my favourite type of relationship between characters. Generally speaking though, any adult-child dynamics that are particularly wholesome (especially when one or both are severely broken people) will destroy me.

On a recent rewatch of Eureka Seven, I found I really appreciated the crew of the Gekko a lot. They're just a bunch of weirdo roommates and the vibe of that whole dynamic was really good to me. As far as platonic relationships in series go they feel very close to how actual people interact with each other so I guess I'll say whatever the crew of the Gekko has going on.

W. A trope which you are virtually certain to hate in any fandom.

Normally I'm pretty forgiving with tropes honestly! If it's an annoying trope that happens a lot of times I'll probably skip out, but it's hard for me to say any "specific" trope will make me "hate" it when generally I will give them a 3-strike grace or a "that was funny actually" level of acceptability. I guess I do have one that consistently pisses me off though.

"Shitty sex scenes used in place of character growth" is my biggest fiction pet peeve. It's not sex scenes as a general rule, but in so many shows I've seen the writers will give me absolutely no reason to believe character A and B would fuck (in fact, they usually seem to hate each other and Not in a oh they wanna fuck kinda way), then suddenly they fuck (and it's framed to be as bland as possible) and then after that they're super close meanwhile I have had absolutely nothing shown between them that would lead any of this to feel like it would feasibly have happened. It's bad writing and completely takes me out of the narrative and makes me think about how I would have written character development to get from point A to point B.

Ask game

[umbreix]

Hey, so ever since reading that last chapter of A Single Moment, I've been thinking; with how witches seem to be handled in the fic, would it be a stretch to say that all magical girls have at least the POTENTIAL to become plural?

FANTASTIC question! I think in general you could make the argument that yes, they could. Rather than portraying Witches solely as some kind of force or some kind of manifestation of a person's despair, we've loved to lean into them as more fully formed- something that could be seen as an alter.

I've decided to write a bunch of thoughts on the topic, some of which will have some minor spoilers so I'm putting it under a cut. (However, I don't think what I say will actually be that much of a surprise to the readers so...)

So first, a lot of context. When ASM was in the initial stages of being written I didn't actually intend for Haruka to be plural. Instead I was exploring the complexities of PMMM's magic and the boundary between Magical Girl and Witch. "Morgana", as initially written, was Haruka's Witch who had semi-awakened due to specific circumstances.

But then my cowriter hit me over the head with the one-two punch of "You're writing these characters as plural" and "YOU are plural" so we started really exploring those ideas directly throughout the story.

Now I'm not going to make any sweeping statements on the nature of the soul- There are people who can say things much more insightful then I- But there is certainly consideration to be made regarding how Magical Girls' souls (their self) are disconnected from their bodies. That's a disconnect between the self and the body that reflects things that I myself have felt. And that can be taken in a bunch of different lenses including that of plurality.

Further than that is the themes of Witches and Doppeling. What truly caught my interest was the moments in Oriko and Different Story where Sotria and Candeloro confront Oriko and Mami respectively, both of which manifest as younger versions of themselves due to the insecurities they are representing and targetting. It's something I touched on in Witching Hour by having Oktavia appear as the Sayaka at Kyosuke's first concert.

Something we are absolutely exploring more and more (especially as the timeline flashbacks progress) is the influence that the Witches have on their Magical Girls. Candeloro, for example, will both enable a lot of Mami's bad habits while equally pushing her towards the things that she needs in life.

From the way that we are writing it, the extent to which a Magical Girl and a Witch are seperate is kind of a case by case basis. Some might be almost indistinguishable and some might be notably seperate. And in some cases it may be due to the length of time someone has been a Magical Girl and how much Grief they've currently accumulated.

I truly love to write situations in which Witches do have their own wants and desires, where there is some sort of agency and their own agenda. It's incredibly fun to write and there are at least a few occurences throughout the fic where people will converse with their own Witches (and scenes like how Morgana spoke with Ophelia).

Speaking of, Morgana is fascinating because of how direct she makes the thematic elements of a seperation between Magical Girl and Witch. Morgana is textually the body's Witch, but due to various factors she's developed into a full alter which is absolutely delightful to write. Some alters in systems can have specific roles and it is interesting to ground something fantastical (Magic) into the scientific (Morgana being a holder for it).

Honestly it wouldn't be a surprise to me if more Magical Girls are plural. Both because of the younger kids that Kyubey has contracted with and the general state of some of the people who make contracts.

I mean... look at Yuma's homelife. If anything's gonna cause a split...

Finally, there's a fact about Haruka that hasn't yet come up in the fic and won't for a while so I will mention it here. Haruka isn't plural because of her magic. She thinks that she is because the first time that she became aware she was part of a system was linked to a magical event. The actual most significant source of trauma that lead to their plurality was an incident at a young age which Haruka has absolutely no memories of.

Overall I can't quite say whether all of them have the potential to given how the brain forms and such. But with magic and with a seperate manifestation of you that can sometimes speak to you... Honestly, who knows.

[lakemichigans]

hey i'm back to clear things up, i was just so quick to get my thoughts out i didn't think to properly explain them

i wanted joel to seem more dramatic was what i meant. yell leave and then turn his head to the side bc he can't look at her go, or smtn like that. idk maybe i'm too hung op on this i'll rewatch the ep tmrw to see if i still feel the same

i liked the funnier in her head line too, but the fake bite was soo cute

ok fedra time this is gonna be a long one lol. i totally got what why ellie was saying those things, it's more so about the "rules" of the show. yk how every piece of media has it's own rules about the world and how the ppl in it are allowed to function. ex if someone other than the main cast shows altruistic intentions they're hiding something (spn), everyone lies for their own benefit to some degree (house md), the people can't rule themselves (got) etc. the rules of tlou (so far at least) are that there can't be an uprising without one firm hand who has clear and realistic end goals which happen to coincide with the morals of the writers. no one firm hand and no realistic goals means the fireflies are idealistic and ineffective. the morals don't coincide with the writers and no clear end goal means kc is brutal and senseless. it's not so much about these specific groups, but what they stand for. further examples for the fact that the people can't rule themselves. (ps jackson has council representatives which is called council communism and again proves the point that in the world of tlou there need to be people who make decisions for the majority)

i totally got the type of crush you were explaining for riley, i was just lacking the feeling like the actress was actually about to blush and then try to hide it and then lovingly look back etc. idk this one is really personal i think

sorry this was so long and i also hope this doesn't come off as me arguing i'm really happy just to be sharing my thought with you <3 excited for next week!

i think it's just up to personal interpretation! maybe i'm just not looking into it hard enough, but i felt that since this is a TV show, they can only focus on a few characters at a time. even if they wanted to show us a positive society without any sort of leader, it would be difficult to follow the story if we were bouncing around through a whole bunch of people, each with their own lives and ideas about the world they live in. it's a cool idea that i would happily watch, but it wouldn't fit with the (mostly) linear story they're trying to tell here. like, it was much easier for them to give maria this sorta-leader role because then she can be used for plot purposes and exposition about jackson. and there's always going to be some element of politics involved in apocalypse stories, but tbh covid has jaded me because i saw so much selfishness and greed arise from that, to the point where i'm burnt out and uninterested in the government systems and i'm much more concerned with the individual stories within. i probably should care more considering this show is so popular and definitely has an impact, but.... idk. maybe someday i'll rewatch and skip all the emotional scenes so i can focus on the rest of the show's message!

i think where we differ is that i like a more subtle type of acting. overacting is much more egregious to me than underacting. if joel had been sobbing or screaming his head off i would've been like.... 🤨 also it's worth pointing out that riley is a bit older than ellie and she's getting ready to do this very adult thing (essentially being deployed for war), so she's not in the same headspace as ellie is for most of the night. ellie is excited that her best friend just came back into her life, she's doing all these incredible fun things, and she's got butterflies in her tummy ;-; but riley knows what this night is really about. she's just trying to give ellie a good time, she's not focused on her own feelings yet. if everything had gone as planned, riley would've walked ellie back to the dorm, left boston, and then probably would break down and feel all her feelings when she's alone. i don't think she ever expected ellie to kiss her or for their relationship to go past friendship, so she didn't even bother getting hopeful about it. it's possible that i'm projecting a lot onto riley because this is exactly how i act when i'm interested in someone lol. sometimes i over-correct so hard that it seems like i don't like you at all, let alone feel romantic feelings towards you 😭

but either way i love talking about tlou in any capacity so please always feel free to share your thoughts!!!

[bookwyrminspiration]

Hey Quil! I'm secretly rereading legacy and i just realised something

Tam hit Geisla with A LOT of angry angry shadowflux ( when Sophie was trying to take Keefe to Elwin)

And the effects of that haven't really been mentioned yet

Geisla was passed out after Tam did that

And i don't think there are any more shades in the Neverseen

So Geisla is still possibly stuck with that painful shadowflux inside her

And to further back this up

SHE DIDN'T MAKE A SINGLE APPERANCE IN UNLOCKED

So yeah what's your opinion on this ??

Hey! Do you have a page number or quote for this scene that specifically mentions shadowflux? Because I've been looking through it and all I see mentioned is "a bolt of shadows" (Legacy p. 757) when talking about what Tam did to Lady Gisela, but it's entirely possible I'm missing something! Her bonds were made of shadowflux (p.777), but not the bolt from what I can see

If it was a bunch of angry shadowflux, it's highly possible that she could have an echo now, and with it being angry and in her chest she could face a lot of the issues Fitz did with his. Things affecting emotions and what he's allowed to think about, chest aches, etc. But also his was less angry than hers would've been, as he was hurt to hurt Sophie.

If it was just normal shadows that Tam shot at her, then we're facing something different. It'd be similar to any other attack they've experienced in the past and while it would hurt, it wouldn't require any special help to deal with. If it was shadowflux and she couldn't get it out, it's entirely possible it would've straight up killed her. It was super close for Fitz and Sophie when they had a shade friend to get it out, and Lady Gisela doesn't have one of those right now.

If it was just shadowflux in the bonds, then that doesn't have the risk of seeping into her skin and changing/hurting her the way an attack would. I'm also betting that when he's just been released from his bonds and needs to make a quick attack to protect people, he's going to default to what he knows best, which isn't shadowflux. Tying her up would give him more time to summon and work with it after everything.

Not that it's impossible for her to have been hit with shadowflux! I just think it would've been made clearer since that would have a significant impact on what is to come.

As for her not making a single appearance in Unlocked, I think there might be two reasons for that! One: Unlocked is really short both page-wise and time-wise. The events of the novella take place in like less than a week. It's really quick and focused on other things, so adding her in would be a huge hassle. and Two: whatever is going on with Lady Gisela is too important to squish into Unlocked. She's our main villain for the moment and the last time we saw her was an escape away from the main characters, so anything to do with her right now would have to be really important.

Unlocked isn't a book suited for that! It's purpose is to deal with Keefe and set things up for Stellarlune, so I think we'll hear more about Lady Gisela in book nine. It'll have enough time and space for her big important things then! it gives her time to recover and plot and all that so she can have her big moments properly spaced out

So those are my opinions/conclusions on it all! I think if it was shadowflux then she's dealing with an echo/dying. If it wasn't then there's not much to worry about there with bigger things going on. And we didn't see her in Unlocked because was too short and too soon for her, but I think she'll be in Stellarlune!

[alikestory]

mostly rambling about writing my webcomic...

i was doing the typesetting for the next chapter and there's this one part where i was like, i need to explain what this person is referring to for this scene to have any weight. i'll just write a quick backstory thing~

anyway it's. as long as a normal chapter nowwwww :'^) INEVITABLY. i still have one little scene left to write dfghj

generally this arc keeps getting LONGER ;___; i know how it ends and i'm like "wait is this going to have any impact if i don't write something about that??" and in general there are lots of things i know about the characters that aren't in the comic and i'm like DOES IT MATTER???? i don't know.... :'3 (like, not stuff that's going to be revealed later just kinda mundane things that happened before the story starts. but then i hate it when a manga has an entire volume dedicated to one side character's backstory and i'd like my webcomic to END ONE DAY.........)

okay so i wasn't like "i'll just write a quick backstory thing~ tee hee~" I SAID IT BLEAKLY. RESIGNED TO MY FATE.

it is mostly the character in question narrating some stuff so i thought okay i'll do it nagata kabi style and i can totally finish this and another 21 page chapter in two months. i mean her manga is in a simple kinda sketchy style and there's a lot of narration but it's interesting....... anyway that's my current plan. basically how shitty can i get away with this looking..... and what if i made it pink like my lesbian experience with loneliness.......... but i don't want people to see it and think of nagata kabi necessarily i just like pink. MY WEBSITE IS ALREADY PINK. IT'S FINE. NO ONE WOULD EVEN NOTICE. also being like "hey remember this completely unrelated and also way better manga???" at the very beginning of a 30-40 page update. :'^) BAD IDEA.

anyway i own (i can't think of a way to abbreviate this title sdfg why is it so long) my lesbian experience with loneliness but i want to read her newer books too. i think i read exchange diary at a library and found it kinda boring tho? .-.;; ig it's not as sensational as long title. less sex appeal. (that is a joke.)

SEEING THE NEWER TITLES IS. bleak. this poor woman what the hell. like reading long title you'd expect things to get better for her and it's not like her manga hasn't been successful either..... it's kind of depressing, i put them on hold at the library but DO I REALLY WANT TO KNOW???

also somewhat self-conscious about my library holds u__u;;; having three volumes of manga in the first place. whenever i put manga on hold i worry they'll think i don't read real books..... (because i DON'T. i put left hand of darkness & house of leaves on hold too but i've had both of them out before and just never actually read them........ THIS TIME I'M GOING TO. I SWEAR.) i also took impossible people out a few months ago so what if they can see my reading history and are like "why do you read so many comic books about alcoholics??" BUT NEITHER OF THOSE THINGS WILL HAPPEN. i just have an anxiety disorder :v

aaaaa i also don't even know if this backstory flashback thingy is enough.... I MEAN. I GET IT NOW. I KNOW WHY THEY DRAW AN ENTIRE VOLUME OF VILLAGER E'S BACKSTORY. (actually when i think of this phenomenon i think specifically of fai from tsubasa orz;;;; I'M SORRY.) AND. OKAY. IT'S SO EMBARRASSING.

nothing i'm saying or will continue to say is helping my case for Dear Library Employees, I Swear To God I Don't Just Read Comic Books (about alcoholics. i also read comics about other stuff.)

there was some comedy/romance shojo manga i read back in high school and i think the offenders here were by the same author but i don't remember who for sure :v anyway there were a bunch where something serious was about to happen or the characters were finally going to be honest with each other and then they'd have some kinda joke and it would always annoy me bc as we have established i love some sensational drama :v

BUT I GET IT NOW ;_____; THAT IMPULSE...... it's hard to write a sincere and emotional moment and be like WHAT IF IT DOESN'T LAND????? it's so obvious what i'm trying to do that if people go "i don't buy it" then i'll just DIE I GUESS?????????

but you have to try u__u you HAVE TO.

[nochiquinn]

campaign 3 episode 17:

I am so tired, my kid's on half days this week and I'm not getting my usual nap because of it, I am a Disaster and if I fall asleep halfway through the episode no one is allowed to judge me

samuel

"in theatres! crazy things to say right now that don't make sense!" because there iS A PANDEMIC

wait I was muted was there vince mcmahon salt

it's so fuckin CUTE

"that is not child safe" "still going on my dog"

HEY IF YOU LIKE LAURA BAILEY SINGING YOU SHOULD CHECK OUT STRAY GODS BY SUMMERFALL GAMES

say Ariks Eshteross' Airship five times fast

oh no nightmare lights

"I bet it looks cool in the theaters"

put gem in mouth

"you should never have to run into the storm alone"

"what time is it" it's 3:01 am

"whichever way they bend"

I love the idea that orym sleeps like a cat

imogen gets halfway down the stairs and starts going into withdrawal

>waifish >dwarf

saM

marisha's dice redemption arc

"don't fuck with me matt mercer"

sldkfhs travis

I just need all of them to give up and share one room at all times

"I've been up for a little while just lookin atcha"

ashton and fcg <3

travis just hiding his face

"is he dead?!" "no, I just heard him screaming"

[smacks fcg with a newspaper every time he offers someone therapy unsolicited]

(I was gonna say spray with a water bottle but that might end badly)

"not GRAB it bc it will fall off"

"you can borrow my ears any time"

I love their little identify lens

🎶who can say if I've been changed for the better🎶

I KNEW IT addictive rock

put it in a cart with a bunch of bananas, that's how you test if it's evil

quietly references every other campaign

fearne you specifically know what swapping around a potentially evil object does

"I'm alive" "press x"

I would like to touch the crystal now matt

love the dichotomy between the players 👀 and the characters 🤷‍♀️

traVIS

"fuckin imogen"

chetney: fuckin imogen laudna: yes

(I don't go here I just can't pass up a setup like that)

"can you grow flowers whenever you want?" "🌷"

ashton

I don't like it

"I immediately start tracking fearne" dad friend orym

ashton either has so many regrets or is having the time of their life, it's impossible to tell

evon calling

did imogen's accent just get 400x stronger or is it just me

fcg: competish ashton: 😒

jiana hexum 🤝 veruca salt I want one now

fcg your self-sacrifice has to have an upper limit

chetney

oh. oh fuck.

ashley's face when the penny dropped

"should you bring a buddy? ....or a minder?"

"I know horses. I've eaten a few." well now we know how this campaign's horses are gonna die

not the shania twain

they did it, they broke eshteross

fearne he is eating

sam literally just telling the audience to fuck off for ten minutes

marisha trying to take sam out

persuade grandpa out of his biscottis

"why limit yourself to the player characters?"

someone do a religion check so I can get a bingo

ashton: we will stop percieving me immediately

orym using the hammer as a stepstool

samuel

is it like cabal's ruin where they're gonna build up charges and then unleash them all at once

oh no

that one scene from falcon and the winter soldier

someone mention marwa so I can get a bingo

"don't touch my stuff for three weeks"

I'm enjoying Silly Orym

mala: travis in any shopping scene with his wife: how can I be a Problem

laura starts playing star stables

roll for horse girl

bloodstorm

chetney: blood magic me: [whispers] maleficar

I love him

I put on my blood robe and blood wizard hat

TRAVIS

matt just scooting away

GET HIS ASS

mala: the dc for this is 1

"get your third character ready"

OH RIGHT there are people who suffered that in a group

aw man I apparently missed a cute video

LIGHTS

PLANTS

"I just got a little bit teary-eyed in my face"

aww imogen gets Quiet

"I got instantly itchy thinking about it" "yaaaaay that's called immersion"

"you've never ridden a horse?" "my sister in christ I basically am a horse"

orym straps himself to the back of one horse like a pelt in red dead

horse aesthetics. horsethetics.

this is becoming some oregon trail logistics

"natural 20! that means we fight a dragon."

"that is not a horse OR fearne"

the roast of sam reigel

"that's not a script it's just ad copy" "the script's on the monitors"

"oh for FUCK'S - "

Silly Orym has backfired

a RABBIT CALL

commit to the bit

do the watership down dying rabbit scream

orym you can't throw greens at it like a chocobo

orym's gonna get eaten by a t-rex

I lucid dream bc my brain gets mad when my dreams are poorly-written

ORYM

you're gonna get your fingers bit off

liam sees a gem and insists on stealing it from wherever it was

orym: I got you a rock

soul gem vs black soul gem

it's an opal, they will be hearing from my lawyers

sir floppers, rabbit, loonch, escargot, heart, and one-way

"he's foreign, don't worry about it

taliesin knows

"I don't like to get attached to things that are clearly going to die. like all of you."

"we only have five horses, how did we get six names!"

"if you take rabbit from me I'll kill you"

"your beau dice were talking shit about you yesterday" samuel

nooo I'm fading, I've been doing so well

they both get eaten

and them liam derails the whole game to talk to ashton for an hour

(this is not a complaint)

fcg goes to sleep and the fantasy kudzu overtakes him in the night

Birdie and Oleander

"sounds like a musical"

matt: you can attach it to a small item sam: I'M a small item!

sam doesn't watch the product

you can't touch the two silver millenium crystals to each other it'll blow up the planet

BUTTERFLIES

"everyone turns into sheep" when we first started the polycule my partner's wife insisted on calling it "polymorphism" which is in fact a WoW spell that turns you into a sheep

"you, fearne. you're special" cries

the way orym looks at fearne. just all the quiet, steady affection in the world.

the kind of person who says "you're special" and means it right down to his bones.

rolls to find fey gate, finds a dragon

midday loonch

bits of....edibles

ashton and fearne just spend the entire night trying to steal shit from each other

see I was joking but I knew it would probably happen

"you can always just ask. what do you want." "I want to not ask."

ashley 100% have left that last word off but she was never gonna

"this isn't how I started" excuse

oh ashton

is this how rock genasi work??

"I might try to steal it" "I would be very entertained"

RAIN

BACKSTORY

I've been avoiding earbuds but my roommate is awake for once and her keyboard is so LOUD and I wanna hear this

OH

HANGING TREE THEORY CONFIRM??

everybody at the table

laura: I wanna throw something at her

marisha's so proud of herself

"you're the happiest person in this bunch" "of course. the worst thing that's ever happened to me has already happened."

taliesin's eyes are about to pop out of his head

like he's VALID

sam's face

her whole everything about her right now. face. posture. voice. god I love marisha ray so much.

"they cut my ears to make them pointy" MARISHA

my automatic assumption is keyleth body bc it's marisha but dark hair means possibly vex

also being keyleth might be a little on the nose

3 am is my new favorite euphemism

taliesin just mouthed "we'll talk later motherfucker" at marisha

ohh the golden sunrise light before the green kicked on

I love everything about this set

(how excited do you think matt is to get to use all these new buttons)

MISTY JUNGLE RAIN

somewhere mica burton is threatening travis and taliesin's lives

travis that's how you break one of their stupid weaksauce finger legs

blue flower???

DORIAN

LIGHTNING FLOWER

CHROMATIC ROSE????

that's the COOLEST FUCKING NAME

what in the kurama

orym that's gay

ashley and laura missed campsite rolling bc ashley was putting a flower behind laura's ear

[whaps fcg with a newspaper]

ffs they're not even sitting next to each other anymore

ROLL FOR FREAKY FRIDAY

what if they get the permanent mind link that yasha thought she had with veth

did we unlock fcg's ptsd babygate??

oh the music

oh no mutual psychic damage

what in the return to witch mountain

nobody in this party knows how to take watch

"this is fine"

neither of them can see over a particularly large rock, is this wise

dragon

or gnolls?

(regular gnoll, regular gnoll)

the return of dbp

orym: I will pry everyone's backstory out of them with a crowbar

(I say "orym" like that's not just liam at all times)

"what's the moon for"

HUSBAND

"o....ohhh."

liam: I will pry MY OWN backstory out of me with a crowbar

time is soup

"you're so young" "so was he" oh that hurt

who had Orym's Husband Died In The Air Ashari Attack

(literally everyone)

chetney is all of us

hand of the tempest

"gray-black leather clad" somebody go scrub through all of campaign 2 and tell me what krynn assassins wear

"you're a rare one; I actually believe you"

fearne knows!

dorian knows!!!

do the rest of the crownkeepers know??

I have to imagine they do

BIG MOON LITTLE MOON

I'm gonna DIE

"it's just raining"

(something something ruidius something cursed life)

eMOtional DAmage

in the dark of the niiiiight

willothwisp

taliesin

fable pixie laugh noises

"can you scare it off" "it's from the feywild, it might not be scared of me!" ".....maybe it'll think you're hot"

hey, listen!

dear fairies we are sleeping

ashton no

give it a shiny

it's definitely going to eat them

"don't OFFER"

"this is not an eatable face"

"why am I sounding old"

"fearne'll get weird" GET weird?

it's gonna fly at laudna's face and that's where matt's gonna call it

you just called it a slur in morse code

twitch I'll fight you

ashton playing with pate

DETECT THOUGHTS THE FAIRY that can only go well

"you're making a fairy house? like my daughter?"

"I made it a fairy tent out of sleeves"

"same grill"

"it's gonna crawl into your nostril" goa'uld fairy

liam what in shit was that laugh

fearne: fucking flying rats

"the pizza rats of the feywild"

FAIRY CRY

WILLOTHWISP

willotheanglerfish

"it was a BUTTON I was gonna PRESS IT"

"I hadn't pushed a button all day"

"I would wander into a dark forest for a flying gummy bear"

I am the last person to realize campaign 3 episode 17 was on 3/17

[pinnochiro]

pinn reviews - final fantasy xv

a long ramble about final fantasy fifteen that sort of looks like a review, as written by someone who finished the game fifteen minutes ago and needs to get these words out of his head. spoilers inbound.

i'm a pretty big fan of video games. i don't know what my first was, but it was probably either banjo and kazooie or mario kart 64, at my cousin's house when i was very small. i think that video games as a medium are so interesting, since the fact that video games are inherently interactive changes the way that they tell any story. it's a shame that despite loving video games so much, i'm absolutely terrible at them.

i'm absolute dogshit at video games. whenever i boot up something new, i always play on easy mode because. i'm that bad. unfortunately, this means that a lot of video games are simply. impossible for me to beat. that's fine, as at the moment i live with my good friend lizz, who is certifiably Good at Video Games, and so we've been playing video games together for a little bit now. typically this means that she will actually play the majority of the game while i sit with her and watch, but occasionally i'll have a go, but she'll end up with the controller as soon as a boss fight or puzzle or a mechanic i just can't seem to grasp shows up. we recently played through the entirety of the kingdom hearts series together, and this was an absolute blast of a time. i'm glad to say that i adore kingdom hearts now, and it's become one of my hyperfixations, which you might be able to tell from my icon. but we'd finished the kingdom hearts series, and we were left to move onto something else. we'd also played final fantasy 7 remake, so in my wisdom, i suggested that we play another final fantasy game.

we looked through the ff games that were already purchased on our consoles thanks to lizz's uncle, and eventually, we decided that we should play. all of them. however to start, we were going to play final fantasy xv, 15, and work our way backwards through the mainline, single-player games.

i'd heard that xv wasn't very good, but honestly, i was still quite curious. one person who i'd been following on twitter for years was pretty obsessed with the main party members, to the point where i knew their names and what-not even though i didn't have much of an idea what the game itself was about. i remember watching a video by supereyepatchwolf a few years ago about how the game sucked, but i couldn't remember much of the details, and i knew, based on my obsession with kingdom hearts, that xv had started as a different game called final fantasy versus xiiv. i don't know all the details about versus thirteen, but i do know that it was originally helmed by the creator of my beloved kingdom hearts, mr tetsuya nomura, and that after many years, the vast majority of the game was thrown out, nomura wasn't in charge any more, and the whole thing was rewritten and reworked, which sounds like a fairly rough development cycle. but so what, i don't care about gameplay. i want to play the video game with those cute guys that i see fanart of on twitter, and lizz seemed happy enough to play through it with me.

and so we started final fantasy xv. i've been told that since the game was practically dead on arrival, they threw in a bunch of new content and reworked a lot of the early game before i got my hands on it. so my gameplay started with a scene of the four guys fighting some demon dude on fire and they're all old and grotty. whatever, that cutscene ends and we're put into a combat tutorial. that's over and we're on the road in what looks to be central america, pushing a car.

our four leading lads are noctis, the prince of the lucis empire, his best friend prompto, his bodyguard, gladio, and his chef and other things, ignis. i do quite like the main four members of the party in xv. prompto is quite easily my favourite, voiced by robbie daymond of goro akechi fame and with a bunch of fun little animations and quips that make him very likeable. he gets extremely excited at the idea of riding chocobos and has what i considered the best scene of the game, where he and noctis meet on a motel rooftop and discuss prompto's imposter syndrome, since he's only part of noctis' official retinue as his best friend. noctis is a fairly typical main protagonist, he's in love with a woman he hasn't seen in eight years and needs to go marry her or something, i don't care. gladio is a tough macho man with a mullet who wears leather jackets and wields a greatsword, and is apparently only 22, which is at least 10 years younger than i assumed. ignis is a strategist and chef, who takes on the most authoritative role and constantly tells noctis to not drive his car at night. i was not a fan of ignis at the start, but he grew on me, especially with how hard the game hit me with his personal arc. the four boys are off, driving to noctis' wedding in a different country across the desert when their car breaks down. we then run into the first issue of the game.

cindy is a mechanic. she also has her ass and tits out constantly, like your sleazy uncle's shirt with a naked woman was instead semi-alive as a video game person. she fixes your car and acts fairly sexual and it's just like. why do we have to do this. aren't we over overtly sexualised women in video games who have no reason for the way they dress other than the character designer was horny? whatever, i like women as much as the next guy, but cindy's design just. makes me feel so uncomfortable.

anyways you get to do a little driving around with the boys, until you stay the night before catching the boat to your fiance. overnight, you find out that noctis' kingdom has been basically destroyed by an invading empire called niflheim, and practically everyone noctis knows, including his father, are dead. you learn that noctis and his bride to be are also assumed dead, with noctis hearing his own death announcement on the radio. the game has a bunch of added cutscenes that are actually footage from the three-hour-long prequel movie that came out after the game, are extremely hard to follow and honestly i had no idea what i was looking at. anyways, noctis' family is dead, so it's time to do some hunting sidequests.

that brings us to the combat, i suppose. rather than the turn-based or even active turn-based combat that the series is known for, xv opts for more modern action rpg-styled combat. i was, naturally, terrible at this, but i managed to get around it with the fact that. it is almost impossible to die in this video game, provided you have enough items. the game allows you so much time to heal yourself that there's practically no way to have your entire party wipe unless you're doing absolutely terrible, and even then, your party members will probably try and heal you themselves before that happens. lizz tells me that the combat is boring, you just push the same button over and over and then you win. i do appreciate that, for someone like me who is terrible at reading enemy movements, there is a giant button that pops up on screen that tells you when to push the block button, but even then i was prone to fucking it up. whether that's the bad game design or my terrible gaming abilities is up to you to decide. anyways, the game is fairly easy but has annoying combat, your teammates limit breaks will only land about 50% of the time (or never, if you are gladio) and i was still bad at it, so i didn't have all that much fun.

instead of an active levelling system, the game will only tally your character's level ups when you either make camp or visit a hotel. camping is, in my opinion, the only saving grace of this game. each time you make camp, you get to see the characters doing fun little camping activities together and just hanging out, ignis will cook up a new meal in a dramatic fashion and everyone will compliment him and eat it off their coleman's branded plates, it's just very fun. you also get to see what pictures prompto has taken, which is one of my favourite gameplay features. prompto's passion is photography, and while i support him in this wholeheartedly, his picture taking skills are, quite frankly, awful. the game will randomly take shots while you're on the move, which leaves you with a delightful selection of awkward poses, characters hidden behind bushes, pictures taken while someone is half-dead in combat, and snaps where the natural lighting absolutely makes it impossible to tell what's going on. it's hilarious and going through prompto's collection of photos each night is honestly the best part of the game. we managed to wind up with a few shots that, even despite being scripted events, turned out absolutely terrible, and i will cherish those forever.

anyways, since noctis' father and fiance are dead, that leaves him the king of lucis. the only important person to make it out of the capital alive tells you to drive to the middle of nowhere, where he randomly springs on you. hey. go into a bunch of these dungeons and absorb a bunch of swords, this is your destiny as king and how you will defeat the empire. noctis goes, uh, alright i guess, and you're set loose again to wander around for a bit collecting the 'royal arms'. this plot point wasn't explained well but hey, whatever, we're collecting the glowy swords and that's fine.

you're introduced at some point to ardyn, the main antagonist. he's old, kind of groady and wears a fedora. he's a dick to you and talks about his automobeeel. apparently my friend miri thinks he's hot, she is wrong.

i can't remember what happens specifically but you're told that your fiance is still alive and in fantasy venice, and she's talking to the gods on your behalf to borrow their powers. there's a mission where you follow some purple trees that are electric, and you do that i guess. i enjoyed riding the chocobos around, but couldn't care much for the plot at this point. ardyn leads you to a volcano, where you fight a giant lava god. he tries to step on you and i, a denizen of the internet and with an active fear of foot fetishists, was extremely uncomfortable. noctis becomes friends with foot man and a lightning god who lived in those trees, and ardyn steals your car.

very upset by this, noctis and his gang risk everything to sneak into a military base and steal it back. because this is a video game, this works out fine.

there's a little mining city which is all about Girl Power, because all the Women run the Mining Industry like Girl Bosses, and you hang around there for a bit. because all the women are so Empowered, they wear bikinis all the time with overalls over the top. gladio decides he needs to fuck off for a bit, i have no idea what he does since i haven't played the dlc, and then he comes back with another scar. you hang out with his sixteen year old sister, who has a crush on the engaged and 20-year old noctis, and then you drive her to a lighthouse. when she's in your party, she can't really fight, but she gets a pink chocobo and i thought that was very cute. we turned out own chocobo white and lizz named him 'jones' after a mount she has in ffxiv.

eventually, you have a long boat ride over to fantasy venice. this is the part where the game stops being 'fun with a few issues in combat and a rushed and poorly told story.' the open world, which was a main feature with a bunch of little areas to find where noctis can fish, little hunting sidequests and random photo spots where prompto takes touristy photos, is now gone, and it will not return for the entire rest of the game. you can 'go back in time', but the open world was the most enjoyable part of the game, and it kind of really sucks that the main story doesn't let you have any more freedom like that.

after arriving in fantasy venice, you have a talk with fantasy hillary clinton and beg her to let your girlfriend summon a god into the middle of her city. hillary agrees, and you don't get to meet up with your fiance, because even if the game is constantly telling you how much noctis loves her, there is. barely any interactions between the two in the entire game. from what i can tell, they met when noctis was a child and they haven't seen each other in ten years but are still fantasy dog pen-pals. noctis marrying her was supposed to make an alliance or something like that, but her brother has betrayed her to the army. noctis' girlfriend is also an oracle, which means she can heal people, i guess? everyone talks about how important she is and she's constantly telling people that she needs to use her powers to help noctis but she's practically a non-entity.

as can be expected of most female love interests in a game primarily focused on men, noctis' fiance is killed while summoning a god for noctis to befriend. noct gets very mad about this, and turns super saiyan and kills the god back, but his girlfriend is dead and that's super sad you guys. there's a beautiful prerendered cutscene where she says goodbye to noctis but since we barely know her, and we've only been told over and over that they're in love without anything to actually well, show this, it didn't have much of an impact. fantasy venice is destroyed, and ignis is blinded while trying to help calm the giant raging god.

iggy's blindness and how the game makes you account for this and grow to care for him was one of the highlights, in my opinion, as well as crushingly depressing. while i'm not disabled and have no right to say if this was 'good disabled representation' or anything like that, i believe that the game handles it decently enough. the group falls apart as noctis is upset about his girlfriend, gladio is extremely mad that noctis won't care for ignis, and prompto just wants everyone to get along. there's a mission where gladio constantly yells at you passive aggressive things to noctis about how he's a cunt for running, which is obnoxious, but the character arc itself is fairly strong. when you make camp, ignis can't cook anymore, so everyone eats cup noodles in a depressing ass cutscene. ignis remains in your party for the rest of the game despite his disability, and he doesn't magically regain his sight like other fantasy media would do, which at the very least i think is good. i'm not sure what the opinion of actual disabled people is of the character, considering how often disabled characters are either turned into misery porn to make the abled audience be glad that isn't them and if ignis' arc falls into this trap, but i hope that it wasn't handled too poorly, as that would just be another terrible mark in this game's list of bad moves.

the characters eventually make it to the evil empire's capital, which is abandoned and filled with daemons. the characters learn that ardyn is super evil and taught the king of the empire how to turn humans into daemons, which has now happened to the entire city. the 'magitek suits', presumed to be enchanted armour that fights as the empire's infantry, actually house the souls of the human-turned daemons. honestly i like this as a plot point but the game handles it pretty terribly. there could have been more lead up to this, the explanation is pretty lacking, and prompto's Big Plot Twist is. terribly handled. turns out that prompto was born in the empire and was going to be one of those empty soldier daemons, but he was rescued by people belonging to noctis' empire. not that the game tells you that. instead, prompto goes 'turns out i'm one of ... them' and Does Not Elaborate. The game doesn't tell you shit, not about prompto's past, not about how he feels about this, not about how anyone else feels about this either because the other party members just go 'oh that sucks, good thing you're not evil' and the scene ends. robbie daymond tries so hard to sell these terrible, terrible lines, and it almost entirely fails, i'm so sorry prompto. fortunately because i'm a nosy ass, i read prompto's wikia page and knew the plot twist ahead of time, because i don't think i would have even registered it if i didn't.

anyways everyone in the evil empire is dead and ardyn starts talking about how he's immortal and an ancient king of noctis' country but the gods thought he sucked because he's too evil. i missed most of this because the cats got the zoomies and were dashing across the couch right in the middle of his speech so i can't tell you anything else. noctis tries to get a big magic crystal to fight him and instead. gets schlorped inside.

TEN YEARS LATER

yes then ten years actually pass while noctis is asleep. the game shows this by switching the head on noctis' character model to have a beard, but that's it, no changes in animations or whatever. the sky is permanently night and only one human civilisation remains, the rest destroyed by daemons. as a plot point, this ends up feeling. extremely worthless. why was noctis asleep for ten whole goddamn years? so we can wake up and go 'damn it sucks out here'. but it's barely even a like, incentive to fix everything, because you have a long talk with a former child you were friends with where he talks about how humanity is still going fine and everyone's okay and the world has moved on without you. it feels. pointless. when you meet up with your party members, they are exactly as you left them, only with slightly different character models. there is no change in the voice performance, the character's movements or how they talk to show that they've been without you for ten years. they barely mention it. i'm just. so confused as to why they decided that a ten year timeskip was the way to go? since nothing really changes, couldn't you have made it like, two years? one year? six months?? have the characters react a little more? something??? at least if it was only a year or so i wouldn't have to deal with the fact that noctis looks like norman reedus with his shitty facial hair now.

anyways after that there's a bunch of long and boring boss fights. you fight some dead kings for some reason, your party members get a little bit to talk about how cool they are and how much they love noctis, and then you meet up with ardyn. there's another boring boss fight and god this was only a few hours ago but it's already gone from my head. you summon the gods and the old kings to beat the shit out of him after you both go super saiyan again? there's incredible music but it feels barely earned and just kind of eh. anyways, noctis dies, which was the price of using the crystal of light or whatever the fuck. his ghost marries his fiance's ghost finally, and they smile as they look at one of prompto's pictures. you can pick any picture you want to go here, and then the credits roll, showing all of the pictures you saved of prompto's shots. showing me all the pictures at the end is honestly lovely, but it really only served to remind me of how much more fun the game was in the first half. and that's the end, of final fantasy xv.

so what did i think of the story? it's terribly cobbled together and struggles to get you to feel anything and play out all the plot beats. you feel awful for the countless employees who spent years working on the beautiful cutscenes only to have them be in this game, which sucks and the story barely gets through. there were parts that i enjoyed, mostly the thing about the daemons being people, but honestly the rest of it is a mess. it's hard to follow at the best of times and just awkward and terribly written at the worst. the ending is cheap, and it doesn't feel like you've actually accomplished anything. i left that game feeling numb and empty, sad that i'd wasted so much time to end up with such a colossal failure of a conclusion.

i had fun with the game when it was my four little guys running around doing sidequests and camping together. after the midway point of the game, there's none of that, and you're bogged down into a plot that just pushes you from point a to point b and boring overlong bossfight to boring overlong bossfight. the character moments between your party are a lot of fun, but the second you hit fantasy venice, everything is pretty much on rails and you can't do anything except what the game tells you explicitly to do.

should you play this game? no lol. if anything i've mentioned about the story interests you, you'll be better off watching a lore video or reading the wiki. if you do want to play it after all that, just don't proceed after the myrthril refining quest, it's pretty much all downhill from there. will i play the dlc? unlikely, i think lizz and i will just watch a cutscene movie of those.

this game left me feeling empty and numb and not in a fun way. i wanted, so, so hard to like this game, and it all crashed around me in a beautifully overproduced and confusingly written cascade. i love you prompto, but even your cute little freckly face and terrible photography can't save this trainwreck of a game.

tl;dr - final fantasy xv sucks. i hope that 13, our next ff game, will be better.

[smartzelda]

Hey, so I'm gonna elaborate on this quote by Hashimoto. Turns out every game from bbs to the end of kh3 limit cut has to do with exactly what he says right there about Sora an Riku. Stay with me on this

Yeah, @xionshadow @minwuwhite @salted-coffee-beans @lovingthatgayshit and everyone else, I essayed again. Keep in mind there aren't quotes in this, it's more of a ramble of events and such

BBS: Riku and Sora are together being best friends and have a focus due to the keyblade, light, Terra and Aqua. Kairi is by her self and meets aqua. Yeah Aqua puts a spell on her necklace that ultimately leads her to Riku and Sora, but at this point in time it's unknown to them who the person to protect Kairi would be. Also, evidence is always thrown in here that Aqua doing that is so//*ai cause it leads Kairi to Sora, but really the hope is she leads to the keyblade weilder (yknow, on xehanort's end) who is technically Riku before kh1 events, and Aqua makes no romantic mention. It's just supposed to be someone with a strong enough light to protect her, not HER protector as in love or something or as in Sora or Riku being her prince.

Kh1: Sora and Riku have friendship problems and Riku has some jealousy. At the end they close the door, Riku's sad over realizing bad stuff he did, Sora has flashbacks to him and Riku spending time together and promises to go get him and come back with him so the 3 friends can spend time together. Kairi has only a few moments, including her joint saving Sora as of kh3 knowledge, her wanting to share a paopu too, and just her giving Sora the lucky charm and knowing that he'll return it. There's also Riku trying to find Kairi. Arguably, this game is the most we get of 3 friends, they're a trio, even on Sora's end. Sora goes through the worlds searching for both of his friends. But even then, Kairi isn't there 80% of the game. The friendship end is covered, but besides those moments where Sora has Kairi visions of her talking to him, he doesn't reference her. On the other hand, he meets Riku more than once, and we get to see Riku's fears evolve and his fear of replacement. We get Sora accepting him almost the whole time and Riku siding with darkness. We get moments like the moment where Sora is falling and he literally remembers Riku going "Giving up already? Sora, I thought you were stronger than that" and he believes after that and is able to fly with that pixie dust. He's the only one Sora has those flashbacks of the past with in the game like that. Sora and Riku get a scene with working together on the door while Sora and Kairi get separated and only Sora's work goes into everything, namely that he's gonna go get Riku while Kairi waits (not like she has a choice, but it stands). Even when it's about Sora and Kairi it's about just friendship or Riku. That kh1 scene where they get separated is an attributed so//*ai scene that people see as romantic, but it contains Sora's desire for them all to be friends and to find Riku. On the other hand with Riku, it's about Riku. Riku and Sora close the door? Flashbacks specifically about him and Riku till the last flashback, but even then it's Sora and Riku running together while Kairi's in the back running behind them. Sora and Riku's interactions and what's going on with their friendship are definitely focused on while Kairi is a doll most the game and doesn't get that kind of focus

CoM: About going to find Riku and Mickey. Evidence at the beginning that Sora really wishes to find Riku. He's distracted by Naminé, but whenever he finally gets to see "Riku" it's interraction that causes Sora to think afterwards about his relationship with Riku and what he could've done (more seen in the novel). If that huge analysis is correct, a lot leads to Riku, including parallels, but it's covered up by Kairi. Even when all Sora's memories of Kairi are replaced with Naminé, Sora's not in love with her until she uses the meteor shower scene, which would be a Sora and Riku memory. Before she uses it, Naminé is essentially at Kairi's current level of "I need to save her cause she's my friend". He only forgets Riku because of Naminé's memory meddling detracting from his purpose and making him forget everything he came to do and everyone except her. Kairi is merely mentioned by Naminé and Sora and everyone else. Even afer Sora knows about the Naminé and the repliku truth of him being not exactly Riku, he still does his actions for Naminé cause his heart still feels the impact of the fake memories, and even though Repliku's fake, Sora treats him similarly as Naminé, probably because of what's true in his heart. In the novels, Sora thinks about Kairi momentarily if she's brought up and when he looks at the lucky charm. Even in the lucky charm case, in the novel, it reminds him of Kairi cause she gave it to him, but also his promise to bring Riku back and of all his friends. It's only in Naminé's case with all the meddling that Sora looks at it and thinks of Naminé and his promise to protect her. Kairi isn't present and the game has no development with Sora and her or real reference to their relationship. On Riku's side, the novels have him mostly think about Sora out of the two, only really mentioning Kairi at the beginning when he decides he wants to say sorry to Sora and Kairi and when he meets Naminé. In the novel, for example, Riku goes to destiny islands of his memories and thinks about times with Sora when they rolled around on the sand. There's a focus on how Riku feels about the darkness and how that translates with his fears relating to Sora and his friends. He makes a promise with Naminé that she'll watch over Sora, and he walks the road to dawn for his redemption and to be able to face Sora and everyone.

Days: Similar to BBS, this one has main character focus on a different cast, but again Sora, Riku, and their relationship is still involved. Riku gets involved with Xion. In the novel, he states that he's willing to help her and not lie to her mostly because she's a part of Sora and is similar in personality, while Kairi factors in as appearance familiarity. In the novel, Riku has clear monologues about how he wanted to reign in his darkness before Sora woke up, and before going to fight Roxas how he's prepared to use his darkness to win at all costs, all for Sora. There's Xion and Roxas having memory visions. Xion awakes from one yelling "Sora". Roxas has a bunch of visions including Riku and Riku lines where he confuses Riku with Xion and wakes up yelling "Riku". There's the focus on how Riku gives up his body to win against Roxas and get Sora back. Then he has Mickey promise not to tell Sora what happened to him. Again, Kairi only is involved in mere mention and memories, and while Sora is too, he's more consistently mentioned. Riku also gets his focus on his motivations relating to Sora and shows up. Riku is there amd we are presented what's going on with him and Sora

Kh2: This one has a lot of obvious. One of Sora's main goals and focuses is to find Riku and bring him back. Along the journey, we also have Riku alienating himself from Sora to protect him while also stalking/leading him to make sure he's okay. There's the big reunion scene moment, and at the end Sora and Riku fight multiple battles together. In the RoD they have a heart to heart, and even though Sora's motivation was to bring Riku back so they and Kairi could be together again no matter what, he resolves to stay in the RoD with Riku for eternity instead without fight or protest, even in the novel deciding that if he was stuck here with anyone, he's glad it's Riku. Again, we see their relationship, how they work together, how they feel about each other. As for Kairi, as usual she is barely present. She is mostly left up to the few times she is mentioned and Sora rarely talks about her. Even with the begging scene and his feelings, we can get that it's a product of Naminé's meddling and not anything to do with him actually developing those feelings. Even Kairi herself only resolves to find Sora, and during the reunion scene, we learn their relationship is iffy due to time, change, and no interaction. After the reunion, Kairi's only Sora relationship moments are when they talk to Naminé and Roxas, which has nothing to do with how Sora and Kairi feel about each other, and when Sora returns the lucky charm. Except the lucky charm thing was just symbolic of Sora's promise to bring Riku back and them all be together again. It didn't have much to do with his relationship with Kairi other than she gave it to him and he remembers that when looking at it too. So again, we don't get much or really anything with Kairi and Sora's development, but we get plenty with Riku and Sora and how their motivations and interactions and everything relate to each other and their motivations and relationship

Recoded: Do I even need to say much? Kairi is again only in mention. There's a whole section where data Riku's about to be overtaken by bugs and Sora resolves to go alone, dive into him, and save him. He travels with Riku and they have a lot of moments and we again get to see (even before when Riku's in disguise and just out of it) about how they feel about their relationship and how they must act with the other in their mind. There's even that flashback of a Riku memory where Kairi is there, but Riku instead focuses on the moon and reaches for it, the moon believed to symbolize Sora.

Dream Drop Distance: Again, need I say anything? This game is about them relationship wise. They think about each other, they believe in each other and have talks with other characters about how they're always connected. There's a whole scene about how their hearts are in tune. In the novel, Riku has a monologue about how light and darkness they compliment each other. We get to see sorta how they feel about the other and trust each other. We again get Riku's motivation to protect Sora and his evolution to finding out that their rivalry is not darkness, but what pushed them to be stronger together and still does. There's so much of them and their relationship. On the other hand, Kairi shows up 4 times in the whole game, only 3 referring to Sora. She isn't even really mentioned. 1 of those 3 is a flashback to Kairi flying through him in kh1, another is just Kairi appearing behind Sora with all the rest of the guardians of light, and a 3rd is just Sora's dream with Riku and Kairi walking away from him. There is really nothing with Kairi and her relationship with anyone here

0.2: There's not much, but even with Riku and Kairi standing there, the only mention between them and Sora is basically how Sora's rubbed off on Riku and how Riku's more like Sora, then Riku talking about how he wants to be more like Sora. So again, more of their relationship focus

Kh3: During Sora's journey section, there is like no mention of Kairi, but he thinks about Riku and mentions Riku and talks to Riku on the gummiphone. We see them meet in the tower and Riku reassures him that he can do it. We see this little of their relationship and the little development. There's the RoD thing where Sora arguably uses the power of waking to get to Riku without having KKD and the gayblade. There's these looks they give where they understand each other without speaking. Even with the paopu scene, it starts out with Sora focusing on Riku. This is also the first point we see Sora trying to do a relationship fix with Kairi. Sora sheilding Kairi doesn't amount to or develop anything. But we get Riku's sacrifice, where by now he's realized that he loves Sora and he tells Sora he believes in him as he goes to sacrifice. It has a bigger focus than Sora's shield of Kairi and is more dramatic. Riku tries to prove to Sora that he is strong on his own. There's Riku comforting Sora and them being the only one left. There's the deliberation of animation in Riku reaching out to Sora and dropping it, only to get up, tell Sora he believes in him and sacrifice. In the Riku keyblade graveyard battle, we get moments of Sora swooping in to protect Riku and them going to fight together, where as in the rest Sora popped in to help or like in Mickey's case where he just gets captured. We get to see their teamwork once again. There's Riku's reaction of being angry after Kairi being "killed" only after Sora gets smad. Riku's heart is the first to reach Sora in kingdom hearts, and Riku supports his end decision and believes in him. All the Sora with Kairi stuff is mention, him fixing his relationship with her, or him going to bring him back and have all his friends safe. I didn't even recognize the evidence of Riku being the light and saving Riku first, even the section of saving Riku having more cutscenes and Sora talk/analysis than the rest of the scenes Sora saves his friends

Remind: All of the Sora and Kairi stuff again is just Sora trying to find her and have all his friends safe and fix his relationship with her. This one is more about Kairi and Sora's relationship, and even then there's a focus on Sora and Riku's relationship. There's still a bunch of the same things as base kh3, but we get more moments of Riku saying to trust or believe in Sora, there's Riku recognizing Sora there when Sora hits him with light when no one else does, even softly saying Sora's name aloud. There's their heartstations side by side and Sora being able to connect to him from inside kingdom hearts. There's another shot when Sora gets Kairi's last heart piece where Riku's heart is the brightest and again reaches Sora first. We still get their relationship and how they feel about each other despite this section not being directly about them, just like bbs, days, and 0.2.

Limit cut: We get big focus here. We see Riku sad over Sora. We learn that he is at least a key to saving him. Riku's dreaming about looking for Sora exactly where he is. We learn Riku is gonna be important. On Kairi's side, she's mentioned again and relegates herself to doll status for a whole year. She can see the final world, but neither she nor the scientists looking in her heart or anyone else looking found Sora or something related, while Riku's dreams hold the or a key and possibly a clue. Also, Yozora, the kh3 Riku lookalike (described by even Sora, Donald, and Goofy) looking for Sora who may just be Sora, but may also refer to him looking for the nameless star who may be his Sora (it's kinda hard to know for now).

In every game, consistently, Sora and Riku's relationship and development is a focus, even if it's not the center or the most important thing

Thanks for dealing with my essay ramble

[arethereanyoriginalusernames]

Zp character stuff for other people

Hey kids! I decided since I haven't poked this fandom with a stick in a while, I decided to get back into the swing of things with another series (I'm sure you're all excited *cue sarcasm sign*). This series actually goes out to the fanfic writers out there. This series is basically a dump where I discuss some misconceptions about the characters of zp, and some fun little tidbits that you can toy with. You don't need to use this. Consider this just a bunch of suggestions.

Be sure to tell me what you think! Now onto the.... post, I guess. And big surprise, guess who I'm doing first?

Ok, hear me on. Somebody would request this guy anyway, he's an easy character for me to talk about, and it can help me show people what kind of series this is. So, strap in, because we're talking about this little shit again.

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He ain't Billie Eilish

Get it? Because Billie sung a song called "(I'm the) Bad Guy" and Dame's not the bad guy? Get it? Ok, I'm sorry....

But anyway, I've mentioned this before, but I find that people write Damian differently, and it mostly depends on how they feel about him. In some cases, Dame is written as this completely unlikable dick with little to no redeeming qualities. This is usually done by people who don't like him, and to those people, I ask "Why would you make this character worse? He's a little shit already, we don't need to crank it up to eleven."

I think the best way to sum up Damian is like this: he is a good person at heart, and when he cares about someone, he downright loves them. But when it comes to people he doesn't so much care for, well... that, and he's a massive brat. He doesn't deal well as problems, and he will basically do anything short of having a temper tantrum. He'll get angry, he'll give attitude, he'll cheat, anything to make something turn out the way he wants it to. Then he'll probably forget about it because he has the attention span of a goldfish. And then he'll go do something along the lines of singing songs about rainbows or something.

He's not a downright despicable person, but to people other than his friends and family, he can be a real piece of work.

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Prince of darkness = Angsty pretty-boy?

Ok, so I have said that I like Dame's male human design. I think that he looks like he just walked out of a hot topic, and I just find that funny. Like, in a strange way, it just fits the character? But not because I think Dame's an angsty emo.

Remember how I said that people write this character very differently depending on how they feel about him? Another reoccurring thing I see is people writing Dame as someone who is broken inside and who holds all his pain inside himself, which he'll only share with.... whoever the writer is shipping him with.

While I suppose that's one way to interpret the character, let me just put something out there. Yeah, Dame clearly has problems canonically which he may not like talking about, but it's pretty obvious to everyone that he has them. Damian isn't a character who really hides his emotions, and he often makes it quite clear to everyone how he's feeling. True, he doesn't usually like to discuss his issues, but this is mainly due to him wanting to keep up a cool exterior. Examples of this can be found in the comic and in other artworks involving Dame.

The only times that I've seen this character discuss his issues is with specific characters, such as Addi and Autumn. The reason for this could perhaps be because he trusts those characters enough to be fully honest with them.

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He a player or nah?

Something I see a lot of people not include, oddly enough, is how flirty Dame is. This is a little surprising, because it's a fairly large part of his character. Due to being influenced by Tentadora, Dame is the guy spouting the cheesy pick up lines and doing this such as dramatically leaning against people. And this isn't just with Kayla. He's actually flirtatious with almost everybody. Flirtation appears to be worked into how he interacts with others on a regular basis. He hits on his friends so they all can be like "lol, we hitting on each other, funny joke." and he'll even hit on people he doesn't like, such as Rusty, just to unnerve them. Strangely enough, Vivz has once said that Dame actually gets nervous around people he is romantically interested in and only flirts with people he isn't interested in. While we haven't gotten a chance to see this with, say, Kayla, we might see this in scenes with the two of them alone.

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There's more than just a banjo...

So, a lot of people know about this hell spawn and his beloved banjo. But have you ever asked yourself why this guy is in drama, and not in, say, the music class? Damian is apparently skilled at more than just the banjo. He can play the guitar and the ukelele. There was also a sketch of him walking beside his mum, singing from a thing of sheet music, so it's possible that he may have some vocal training as well. Overall, he is said to be "musically gifted". But it seems as though he doesn't just enjoy playing music. He enjoys preforming. He enjoys getting up in front of people and entertaining them. Which is probably why he's in drama.

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Beware the minions!

Damian actually has what are arguably three little side kicks that I rarely see be mentioned in any fan works. Remember those three little hell spawns, Verin, Vespa and Vetis? While it's not clear what purpose they serve in the palace, they apparently follow Damian around and are quite fond of him. They're based off the see no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil concept (Vespa, for instance, is mute). To put it simply, there is much chaotic energy when these three are present.

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Creepy dudes be creepy

Another character heavily involved with Damian that rarely gets utilized is Bozzwick. Bozz pretends to be bffs with Damian, but he has more sinister motives. To put it simply, he wants to have sex with Damian. But not only that, Bozz also finds Dame's dark side smexy and tries to bring it out whenever he can. In the few drawings I could find of the two together, Bozz enjoys taunting Damian about his insecurities, Damian is somewhat creeped out by Bozzwick, and Bozz will fo things like, y'know, stretch out his tongue to lick the back of Dame's neck or something.

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That's all for now! If you want to request another character, go ahead. Or, if you think I missed some stuff with Damian, you can request a part 2. Yes, if I miss some stuff on a character, or you just want more info, you can request a character I've already done.

I apologize for wasting your time

- ATOUN

[iamcinema]

IAC Reviews #19: Wishbone (2000)

Hey, is anyone still alive out there? I hope so.

Coming off of last year was a disaster, and well, we didn't enter 2021 on the highest of notes. I guess you could say I've been burned out and not having a ton of motivation to do a lot, even with how much I've been grinding on Letterboxd over the past few months. I think I'm ready to come back, and since there's a storm is brewing outside, let's make today a movie night...and boy, do I have a treat for you.

I think I've made it kind of apparent that I have a weakness for terrible, low-budget, trash fires. There's something oddly charming about them where they always find a way to lure me in, and given the scene on Letterboxd, there's a bunch of SOV masochists out there waiting to get their next fix. While digging around for material to cross off my lists on titles to find and add, I was reminded of a terrible, low-budget film that was shot in my hometown over 20 years ago. I'm full of fear for what's to come, and you should be too.

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Wishbone is a 2000 horror film directed by Timothy Gaer and co-created by Michael Fasciana, centering on a woman named Laurie who receives an unusual artifact from her eccentric aunt she acquired from a pawn dealer that causes those around her to disappear when they make wishes on it. Hmm, seems simple enough. Let's what we're in for, and I'm absolutely not ready because the IMDb page says this shit is over two hours long, despite a version on Youtube having it just a bit over 90 minutes. Let us pray.

Wishbone in One Gif:

This acting is might be the death of me, but I'm not sure what's going to be the catalyst that causes me to fall down the stairs and break my neck: the sound quality, the weird editing, or the music...oh, god what the fuck is the music doing? So much noise, noise noise!

Okay, so let's dig into this before I take too long of a break and I don't come back to this. I've already had to pause the movie a few times to catch my breath or just rewind and go back because there's a good amount that I keep missing because, apparently, the star of the film is the score and not Laurie. This is so, so slow. I've seen a lot of long horror movies, but at least with those, it feels like things are happening. Even Blood Lake had filler that did something to some degree, and with that, it was consistently bad. This movie doesn't even know what it wants to do. So, as a disclaimer, there's a good chance I'm probably missing some key details that I didn't hear because it seems that characterization isn't important if the music insists on talking over everyone.

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So, to date, this might be one of the worst horror movies (and movies in general) that I've ever seen and it might be one of the slowest things in the entire megaverse. This is over 90 minutes of, somehow, nothing and something happening simultaneously - if that makes any sense.

This takes its sweet ass time moving along and there's so little pay-off. The majority of the characters are either nameless or we aren't introduced to them in a way that matters enough for us to care about them. It's kind of like with Violent Shit and other low-budget slasher films where the majority of the characters serve no purpose but to be disposable. Next to the two main leads, Laurie and Joe, and maybe a few others, everyone is just forgettable and even then I couldn't honestly tell you anyone's name if it was explicitly brought up. IMDb isn't helpful either, and at this point it just makes me care even less. I'm not sure if my patience has been tested too much with this, but it's kind of sad that I'm more invested in seeing what the background characters are doing than Laurie and Joe - even though I can't really hear what the hell they're saying.

Yeah, I really can't move on without talking about the sound and the music. Why is it always the audio with these movies? This has an estimated budget of $100,000, or $154,779.43 today in August 2021. How do you have the ability to somehow not make this look like a potato for the most part, well for the day shots that is, but you don't have it in you to get a good mic and someone who knows how to mix and edit correctly? I would sort of understand if you spent the majority of the money on talent to cut corners, but this is just ridiculous. Did they use the cameras' built-in mics to catch the audio here?

I feel like I need to interrupt the movie constantly to tell them to speak up because if I turn up the volume, I'm just getting bombarded with this really weird soundtrack that doesn't fit. I shit you not, during one of the kill scenes, the music booming over it sounds like it was ripped from Kevin MacLeod's "lounge" library and then the reverse happens where ominous music is playing over a more touching scene - and that's not even a dig at Kevin as an artist. That's just how inappropriate and unfitting this editing is. The weird fucking thing about this specific kill scene is that it sounds like the audio is stacked, so there are two different instrumental tracks going on.

How do you fuck something as basic as tension up like that? The audio choices are so painfully inconsistent and it doesn't know what it wants to do. There are moments where you can hear the dialogue just fine, but then the music comes in out of nowhere to segway us into the next scene and it starts to muffle things out. If it isn't that, then the dialogue is just so soft that you'd think there was a pillow on the mic or we're hearing them from the opposite side of a sound-dampened room.

This is what I meant earlier when I said I apologize in advance if I miss anything crucial because I can't make out half of these conversations. So, I'm having to keep going back if I care enough or just having to pause and take breaks because there's only so much I can handle. This means that there's a good amount I'll blank on because I have to keep going back because I can't remember the majority of these no-named characters. Who the fuck are you people? Why am I supposed to care?

If I'm understanding the non-existent rules of the wishbone, you're connected to whoever dies in some way. So, why is any of this relevant to what's going on? If it's random, then it's another reason for me not to care just because some frat kids made a wish at some point. Again, who the hell are you and why am I supposed to lament over them? Why is there so much useless filler here? Did I mention that this is over 90 minutes long and there are *three* fucking party scenes? Party scenes are to Wishbone as ten-minute-long jetskiing and beer game scenes are to Blood Lake.

Oh, speaking of other shit that's annoying. Let's talk about general editing because the sound isn't the only thing that's a mess here.

I swear that almost every single scene in this ends with a fade-out/fade-in shot. Only one or two scenes come to mind where this doesn't happen, and the first time it did I thought my browser was freezing because it abruptly cut to black and then smash cuts to a party scene. I've never, ever seen a movie that abused this that much before and it's on par with something I would have seen made by a bunch of high school kids. So, when we have a moment where this doesn't happen and it plays out normally, it feels like a breath of fresh air. I'm sure this movie's run time could have been shaved down by at least a minute or two if this wasn't a problem, along with all the useless close-up shots that serve nothing to the plot.

It's such a waste of time. I'm so fucking tired. How was this movie's budget $100k? Did they spend most of it on renting the Scranton Police Department for a few shots or did it go towards their impromptu trip to Party City? I'm so tired and I don't care anymore.

Do you want to know what the real kicker is? With just barely twenty minutes left, the whole lore about the monkey's wishbone paw comes back and that's when Laurie and her friend Karen think something is weird. Isn't this whole realization trope that happens within the first or second act, not now with your Great Value brand version of the Dream Warriors?

Also, it's not specified how much time has gone by since the start, but it has to have been at least a week or two. It's incredibly weird how they paint the main characters and the unnamed background ones as such good friends that they don't think it's weird how almost all of them have disappeared - especially one girl who doesn't seem off-put that her boyfriend (or ex) disappeared after getting into an argument at one of the parties and none of his friends could reach him either at his own house.

The final showdown is an utter pain in the ass to get through because the conflict ends as abruptly as it starts and it's so unsatisfying. We get to see the face of our villain, I guess, and then more or less cut to our leads holding hands down the street set to the same looping lounge music we've been dealing with for over 90 damn minutes. Is everyone else who went with them dead? Did they live? Who cares! That's one thing the movie and I can agree on since we never see them again. We end on a shitty cliffhanger that's supposed to prepare us for a sequel, which thankfully never happened.

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And that was Wishbone. Holy fucking shit, I've never been so thankful for a movie to be over in my life. It's 11:07 PM as of tinkering with some minor revisions and I've been in purgatory with this for over five hours, and yet, it feels like an entire lifetime has gone by.

I've raved about how bad Blood Lake was with its incredibly bad pacing, but this is next level awful and a testament to bad filmmaking if I've ever seen it. I expect a lot of the things I complained about from super amateur filmmakers who are shooting on an actual shoestring budget, not people who had that much money to fuck around with. How did they have that kind of a budget, and the most they can give us is bad audio, Windows Movie Maker levels of basic editing, three wrap parties, and a few crumbs of gore that we could see?

This was physically painful to see and I'm in much worse shape having endured it than I would have been if I sat through something liked Boardinghouse, and that has a two-and-a-half-hour-long version tied to it. This is just a marvel and I mean that in a so-bad-it's-bad way, not like how SOV enthusiasts who love this stuff pine over. If I had to give one thing going for it, one single granule of gold that I enjoyed from this, it's the limited shots we get of the area so I could make a game out of seeing what local spots I recognized. If playing I Spy is the only way for someone to endure your movie, then I don't know what else to say.

Wishbone is a hot mess where shit's happening, but also nothing is happening at the same time. I wouldn't wish this on anyone. In fact, I wish this movie never existed or would die in the ether and never return to our mortal realm ever again. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna go have a smoke and hope I don't get run over by a hearse tomorrow.

RATING: 0.5/10