#We’re Bein’ Friends - Promo

[ectonurites]

Conner Kent in Suicide Squad/the Infinite Frontier era: wtf is going on

Alright lads hello I just need to type out some theories/thoughts about what’s going on with my boy Kon right now. This is more for myself than anything else (just trying to organize my thoughts) but since some of y’all like to hear me talk about comics (and some of this discussion has already been happenin in my inbox) I figured i’d format it and put it on here too! its like 4k words and written over the last few days mostly at 3am. sorry <3 

this is basically just me going like

Also fair warning that like, I can be wrong and misinterpret things just as much as anyone else can, like I use panels to support why I think what I do but a lot of this stuff is subjective/complicated to understand so like... in general somethings should be taken with a grain of salt, especially because exactly what changes to the universe were made by Death Metal/Infinite Frontier haven’t been super super clearly defined yet. Also sometimes comic writers make the most random nonsensical shit happen, so I as a fan am also allowed to theorize about random nonsensical shit.

But to start: let’s backtrack!

Many months ago when Infinite Frontier was first announced they dropped some promotional art, and I remember being a little confused because. Well:

(Variant Cover spread for Justice League (2018) #59)

(Variant Cover spread for Superman (2018) #29)

Notice how Conner is back to his Teen Titans 2003 look up top, but in his YJ 2019 look at the bottom? This seemed weird to me! But then they announced that Conner would be part of the Suicide Squad ongoing title, in the T-shirt look, so I wrote this discrepancy off in my brain as ‘oh I guess that cover was just the last hurrah for punk Kon’ and moved on with life.

In Suicide Squad right away we learn he’s very much so there against his will:

(Suicide Squad (2021) #1)

Which corroborates more or less what we were also shown in Future State: Suicide Squad, although admittedly it tells... a slightly different version of the events. When I first saw both of these together I just chalked it up to being a bit inaccurate as it’s shown as a memory in Future State:

(Future State: Suicide Squad #2)

Issue 2 we saw him in action with the Squad, trying to do his best to still be a hero despite the team, but things get a little more interesting in the following issue. It starts off with an account of his history

(Suicide Squad (2021) #3)

This page gave me a few immediate red flags, mostly minor things that had to do with coloring, so more irl problems than things to take seriously in-universe (Kon’s pants are the wrong color in the first Superboy shot, and Bart’s Impulse costume is in Kid Flash colors instead of the correct Impulse ones) but then also it just bugged me the phrasing “he joined Young Justice” when he was a founder of the team, he didn’t join it he made it with Tim and Bart.

But again, chalked that stuff up to just.... writers/artists being inconsistent/unaware of things that they should be aware of, or even Nocturna just not being specific with details. But it did still strike me as a little odd considering the very accurate use of villains in those same shots, Scavenger who was a reoccurring bad guy from Kon’s solo days and showed up basically nowhere else (even holding the Spear of Lono and everything!) and Billy/Harm (Greta’s brother) from Young Justice.

But then a few pages later we got this:

(Suicide Squad (2021) #3)

Which is interesting. My first instinct was to think he’s being drugged w kryptonite or something thats leaving him hazy/out of it, but my thoughts on that have kinda changed, we’ll get there in a bit. But in general the context of ‘something’s wrong’ made the slight discrepancies on some details of his own history make more sense.

I also want to then bring up the next part to this story, the crossover issue in Teen Titans Academy.

(Teen Titans Academy #3)

So a few things. Does it feel weird to anyone else that Conner Kent, a known previous Titan who literally has a framed picture of himself in a case there, would set off alarm sensors like that? Wouldn’t he be... recognized as a Titan not an intruder by their sensors? Interesting! Anyways.

He looks really pained looking at that picture, and sad, and almost frustrated, which ya know makes sense and hurts my heart because he misses them! He misses his friends and being happy. 

But, importantly for a criticism I wanna make thats less theory related and more just me bein annoyed at Tim Sheridan, that’s a picture of Conner. Right there. That’s Superboy, on display at Teen Titans Academy, so the people who frequent this building would know who he is and what he looks like and be able to recognize him, he’s even in the same outfit and everything. Alinta recognized him at the end of Suicide Squad #3. 

So why does only one person during this big fight then comment on his presence?? Why doesn’t it get a bigger reaction???

(Teen Titans Academy #3)

And after the fight we don’t see any on panel moment of Wallace going up to the staff Titans (who weren’t present for the fight) and saying like “HEY NIGHTWING UHHH SUPERBOY WAS WITH THE SUICIDE SQUAD?” we just see him talking with his friends upset about Crush leaving. We see Alinta talking to them but we don’t see the exact dialogue. So I do just wanna take the writer by the shoulders and shake him a little bit and ask WHY because that just feels like... something you’d wanna address on panel! This is like the first time since joining the squad that Kon’s at all in contact with people from his life before Waller got involved, I feel like not addressing those people’s reactions to it/not discussing it at least a little bit on panel (especially when Conner CAME UP in the previous TTA issue, Dick brought him up and everything!!!) is a really odd choice. Maybe it’ll happen next issue and i’m just impatient, but who knows. Anyways, gripes with Sheridan aside, lets move on.

I wanna bring up how Conner... doesn’t really respond to Wallace’s question? At all? Except to just fight him off, not even an attempt at a ‘Sorry’ or anything? (the ‘Ha! That all you got?!’ seems to be coming from Culebra not Conner, although the placement of the bubble is vague enough it could be that it was supposed to be Conner? but it seems more like what she’d say, especially as she’s grabbing Emiko like that) That just feels weird. It feels off. In general he speaks so little in Suicide Squad #3 and this issue. Tbh it almost feels like he doesn’t really recognize Wallace which I mean I suppose they never exactly met (they would have theoretically during Death Metal, basically all past/present Titans were together for a while during that), but Kon’s been back in existing long enough he’d have a sense of who current heroes are anyways.

But right, so, lots of little things that feel weird... that gets us caught up to the most recently released comics... but in this household we look at solicits as they drop. Which gives us some info on what’s coming up a few months ahead of time, albeit without full context obviously. Issues #4 and #5 don’t mention Conner in their descriptions or show him on the covers at all, because there’s just other plot things going on, so ya know seems things will be quiet for him for a bit.

But then we got the August solicitations and oh BOY it’s a doozey for him! And some things start to kinda connect perhaps!

I want to just take a moment to look at that specific wording. “The teen calling himself Conner Kent” I’m probably reading too much into it but that feels deliberate, like why wouldn’t you just say ‘Conner Kent’? Usually these kinds of descriptions are trying to keep a low word count, not add in extra words that don’t need to be there. It makes it feel like that’s a name he’s using that... doesn’t actually belong to him.

So the theory I want to propose (that has been floating around already) is that based on these covers and the description, and how the Conner we’ve been seeing in Suicide Squad apparently talks about his own personal history like he’s ‘reading a wikipedia entry’ and had little response to people he should be aware of like Wallace and apparently isn’t recognized as a Titan through a bio-scan and also bearing in mind those initial promo arts with two separate looks at the same time for him... I think we're looking at a situation where the Conner in Suicide Squad so far has actually been a clone of original Conner (like... like he’s Match 2.0 or somethin) the whole time, that’s just not aware he’s not the original. 

Now that’s the base theory I wanna work with and build off of, but there’s MANY different directions that could go in/ways that could work.

For example, one idea is that the Conner we saw in #1 who was chained up is the original Conner, and he’s been being cloned and held captive, so everything else with Conner in Suicide Squad so far has been this Match 2.0 

Another idea could be the original Conner in #1 is also the Conner in #2 who Waller had then commented wasn’t ready during the mission in Arkham and had zapped with a lil Kryptonite, and after that moment she took him off the field because his spirit hadn’t been broken enough to be obedient (as he was a lot quieter in Issue #3 & the TTA crossover compared to #2, and #3 is when the Nocturna thing with the history happened)

Or it could even be original Conner in #1, then in #2 was one clone that wasn’t ‘ready’ that after that point she stopped using him, and switched to a diff clone for #3, because like that first cover did show a LOT of clones. That could be more just ‘artistic interpretation’ or something, covers sometimes do exaggerate/mislead, but it also could indicate we’re looking at a lot of clones.

(Suicide Squad (2021) #2)

With all of those in mind I also wanna bring up this little bit from Future State Suicide Squad:

(Future State: Suicide Squad #2)

Again Future State is a ‘possible future’ so stuff from it isn’t set in stone, but the idea of ‘she still has his YJ 2019 outfit somewhere’ makes me think it could be something along the lines of like, Clone!Conner finds original Conner and frees him and he gets back his YJ outfit, which could lead to like the imagery on that variant cover/the idea from my very first part of this post where I was talking about Kon being shown in both outfits in different places.

Alternatively entirely from all that, another option is that she maybe got ahold of what was needed to clone Kon, but doesn’t even have the original Kon in her possession. (again with the Future State thing, she could be lying since elsewhere in Future State we did also see a copy of YJ 2019 Kon’s costume in one of the Jon-focused Future State comics in a display case 🤷‍♂️) Which could also lead to that confrontation on the variant cover & the promo art thing... and could also explain why we have seen nothing about anyone looking for him, because in that sort of scenario he wouldn’t have even been missing in the first place.

There’s a lot of possibilities! It’s still too early to solidly know anything, but I feel pretty confident we’re entering another cloning related plot with our Clone Boy so it’s... ya know. Clone time. On the one hand it’s annoying because god we have done clone/multiple Kons plots before. We’ve done them so much.

BUT on the other hand, I think it could be interesting to use this situation to tie into some older stuff from pre-reboot that I can see some connections to, because due to Infinite Frontier altering the world and people’s memories it’s all technically fair game storytelling-wise again (and like, the use of Scavenger specifically in that flashback way above, who’s not a super well known villain in general, makes me think maaaaybe the writer did do some of their Kon homework)

Something also just dawned on me that i’m not quite sure what it means but still is worth mentioning: The Conner here in Suicide Squad is back in his Teen Titans Vol. 3 outfit, and his history as he tells it stops during Teen Titans Vol. 3. And doesn’t... mention when he died? It feels like it... stopped before that, because like I feel if he was telling his life history (even the wiki version LMAO) the part where he died and came back would be pretty important to bring up?? And Nocturna specifically says that he didn’t explain how that stuff from TT Vol. 3 then led to him in his current situation. That’s a pretty big gap (like uhhh everything from resurrection until he got lost on Gemworld + all the rest of the Young Justice 2019 stuff?) So like.. there could be something funky going on here that has to do with that. 

Similarly when he flashes back in Future State: Suicide Squad to his past it also goes right from Teen Titans Vol. 3 to the current Suicide Squad run? Like I get it’s one page so they can’t show that much, but the fact that there’s now two places that flash back to that same specific time period and nothing past it until the Suicide Squad feels just... noticeable! Not concretely indicative of something, but noteworthy.

(Future State: Suicide Squad #2)

Like...this almost has me thinking maybe it could be something where like, they tampered with his dead body and cloned from that? BECAUSE, for those of you who may not be familiar with how Kon’s resurrection (during Final Crisis: Legion of 3 Worlds) worked, when he came back there was time travel involved! He was brought back to life in the future (like. Legion of Superheroes era) because it was a process that took that thousand or so years to work/heal him (essentially because of his hybrid dna the process that healed Clark when he had died back in Death of Superman/Reign of the Supermen in the 90s just took a lot longer, but its the same Kryptonian healing chamber thing) meaning when he came back to the present alive again, his dead body was still also in the present just in it’s process of healing. Meaning especially if we’re bringing back stuff from before the reboot, Kon likely has his dead body just vibing out there while he’s goin around living life 🤷‍♂️

SO them doing something related to that could explain the choice to put him back in the T-shirt (since thats what he wore in the era his brain would be caught up to if we’re relating this to when he died) and why he’d recognize himself in a group photo with Bart, Cassie and Tim but maybe not someone like Wallace who didn’t exist back then. I don’t know, this branch of thought is still half baked. Will maybe come back and elaborate on this later. But I’m now really thinking there might be a connection to the early Teen Titans Vol. 3 era specifically because of it being referenced twice in stuff with this Suicide Squad.

ANYWAYS moving on, this is probably a shot in the dark and I only thought of it because I just was reading 90′s Superboy, but right away when thinking about ‘Amanda Waller’ and ‘Cloning Kon’ I was reminded of some stuff about the circumstances around the first clone that was made of Conner: Match.

(Superboy (1994) #35)

Match was created by an organization called ‘The Agenda’, that was after a while primarily under the control of The Contessa, Lex Luthor’s ex-wife, aided by Amanda Spence who had a personal grudge against Kon bc her dad was Paul Westfield the guy Kon was originally cloned from (before the Lex/Clark retcon). They were the big bad guys of an arc called The Evil Factory in Superboy (where Cadmus personnel got replaced with clones) which also then tied into the Sins of Youth event over in Young Justice (Remember how Match was posing as Superboy for a while there? yeah). After those plot lines finished the Agenda was pretty defeated (Amanda Spence was still out there and came back later but still) and... who got their hands on the remaining Agenda tech?

(Superboy (1994) #87)

Why none other than Amanda Waller herself!

If they re-canonized pieces of this (which also tied into Young Justice which ya know, YJ 2019 was all about re-establishing stuff from YJ even before Death Metal happened soooo) it would totally make sense for Waller to have complete access to the exact technology used to clone Conner before. 

Now, a thing to consider here though is what happened to Kon after he’d been cloned that first time, where his DNA got all destabilized by the process (and he needed to go through a procedure with Roxy as a genetic template to keep him together, which was how he got stuck at age 16 for a while). This was something where he was fine for a period of time before the side effects began to kick in. Now, I think it’s worth mentioning that was also back in the days where he was not yet Lex & Clark’s clone, but still Paul Westfield’s. So there could easily be a ‘now that certain Kryptonian genes have kicked in as he got his newer powers it doesn’t destabilize him the same way’ reasoning or something along those lines to avoid this problem. Alternatively, it could be an interesting thing to embrace rather than retcon away, especially if we’ve been seeing Clone Conner in action and Original Conner hasn’t been in our focus, things could be wrong with him that we just don’t know about.

Another branch of thinking that I think is even MORE a shot in the dark but could be interesting (or again even related to what I just said, could be a combo of things) is if this somehow ended up related to those clones that were reverse engineered from the remains of Match from the very end of Teen Titans Vol. 3

(Teen Titans (2003) #99)

All of them were then taken down with Kryptonite and killed in battle (by Rose & Damian) 

(Teen Titans (2003) #100)

But like... idk man if Waller got her hands on those corpses or even just the data from Dr. Caligan that he extracted from Match to make them... that could also be a potential way to make some new Conner clones, and that could be why the bio-scan thing at Titans Tower wouldn’t work properly because of the thing he says above about it not being a “complete match’

One thing I don’t think is the case, but has been brought up to me, is stuff with New 52 Kon. I’ve talked extensively about New 52 Kon in recent weeks because I read through all his stuff, but the thing that makes me shy away from him being part of this situation is the fact that... he’s not interchangeable with Kon the way I think some people think he is. He wouldn’t visually be recognized as Original Kon because he is literally on a genetic level a separate person. They’d prob look related, sure, like they’d pass for brothers because they both have Clark’s DNA, but New 52 Kon has Lois’ DNA and Original Kon has Lex’s. New 52 Kon would likely look more like Jon, rather than Kon. Lois specifically commented in an Action Comics issue that Kon had some resemblance to Lex, even. So like, things like Wallace recognizing him or him looking at his own matching reflection alongside the group picture at the Tower... those wouldn’t happen the same way if this was New 52 Kon.

Now I think it coooould theoretically be possible for Waller to have gotten her hands on that future N.O.W.H.E.R.E. cloning tech that had been used to make New 52 Kon, like I wouldn’t rule that out. Because she knows where the remains of their bases are as shown in Red Hood and the Outlaws (2016) #16-17, and like, Harvest is dead so she could easily just send teams out there to gather shit if she wanted. 

Onto some other things I don’t think are actually related but that I was reminded of/wanted to address:

I feel i’d be a bad timkon fan if during all of this discussion of past stories with cloning Kon I didn’t even bring up Tim’s cloning attempt stuff, but I think it would ultimately be unrelated. His tech was stolen from Luthor, and his attempts didn’t succeed because he was trying to build from scratch without Cadmus’ the data about how they altered the DNA from the original process. 

(Teen Titans Vol. 3 #34)

Then that initial cover for the annual really reminded me of part of the Hollow Men story from Superboy Vol. 5 just with like... Kon in a room full of copies of himself. I don’t think this story would be related either because it was more magic Tannarak stuff rather than regular cloning, but ya know. It’s the imagery.

(Superboy Vol. 5 #9)

It also really reminded me of the stuff from Hyper-Tension which was hypertime stuff not cloning but again just... visually.

(Superboy Vol. 4 #62)

In general I don’t think we’re EVER gonna see Black Zero or any of these multiverse Superboys again LMAO.

To try to sum up all of this in a way that might make sense here’s kinda a... flowchart of some of my main ideas for what the cloning situation could be/how the logic could work. Again this is borrowing stuff from across continuities because Infinite Frontier means theoretically anything’s fair game. (Also I don’t think I mentioned this earlier but I do mention it in the chart, but I think it’s also reasonable that Waller could get her hands on Cadmus tech if Cadmus is like properly made canon again. She just has funky government connections!)

Also I just now thought of this now several hours after I already made the chart and I don’t wanna remake it so sorry not incorporating it there but I remembered there was also that bit during House of Kent where Clark took Kon to the Hall of Justice and they were running some tests on him, so I’m thinking it’s also possible Waller got ahold of that data/that might be how she found out about Kon in the first place for this timeline. And they indicated that there was something wrong with him there, where he might eventually lose his powers or something, so maybe she tried to do cloning stuff to be able to have a copy of Superboy in his prime or something??? before that started kicking in. I don’t know, just more things to consider:

(Action Comics (2016) #1028)

ANYWAYS in conclusion: there is clone fuckery of some sort happening, I’m curious where it’s gonna go, and I just want Kon to be okay.

If you actually read this uhm. props to you bc this probably makes no sense to anyone but me its just word vomit <3 

[ain-t-bovvered]

14x19 Commentary

Zeta and Giuls scream together and then die.

@purpleskiesandcherrypies and @dean-winchesters-bacon won’t be joining us for this one.

I & Zeta will watch together season 14′s episodes as they come out and we’ll do our commentary while watching.

+MASTERLIST of season 14 commentary *

Zee: We fight

Zee: Not again

Giulia: Aaaah

Giulia: Not again

Giulia: Oh finally the empty again?

Zee: Yeah. Hurt again

Giulia: Who are all these people

Zee: What are they doing ??

D: You know, we lost our mom once before. But we got a second chance with her.

Giulia: Oh come on

Giulia: A service memorial?!

D: She couldn't cook worth a damn

Giulia: We’ve been knew

Zee: Is this a memorial?

Giulia: Really

Giulia: Who are these people

Giulia: So many extras

D: Mom, you weren't here long enough. But we're, uh... we're so glad for the time that we had.

Zee: From the other world

Giulia: Aw stop those fucking eyes

Zee: A memorial with beer. I’m there

Giulia: Oh sam bb

Zee: Sam

Zee: Control your face

Giulia: Ok But I don’t give a fuck

Zee: What now?

Giulia: Oh What

Zee: Bobbyyyyy

Giulia: Ok but that bitch was smiling weirdly

Giulia: See

C: A Hunter's memorial, complete with monster. Mary would have appreciated that.

B: Now that you mention it, yeah.

Giulia: Oh he warmed up to cas

Giulia: The other one

S: Yeah, Dean... seems to be doing okay.

Zee: Seems to be doing ok

Giulia: Oh baby cass baby. 

B: Yeah. Maybe he's like me. Bein' teary in public's not my style.

S: hang out, talk about Mom

D: "Talk about Mom"? [ Chuckles ] Yeah. Isn't that what we've been doing?

Zee: Yeah Dean.

Giulia: Oh he not okay

Zee: Keep pushing it down

B: You know, at one time, you boys were good-lookin'.

Zee: I love Bobby

Giulia: And cas is awkward

C: You need anything?

D: Yeah, I need a drink. [ Chuckles ]

Giulia: Shit Dean, don’t we all tho

Giulia: Not this bobby I don’t like

B: What? That kid -- he killed Mary!

Giulia: I kNoW ThaT

B: An unstoppable monster who doesn't know right from wrong gets put down or the closest we can get to it. And anybody who doesn't know that needs to go back to school.

Giulia: The closer that they can get To it. Meaning the fucking box

Zee: I think I love this Bobby too.

Giulia: I don’t really. But mostly I don t care for it

Giulia: Awe poor jack Oh fuck off nick

L: Only they -- they never loved you. You're nothing to them. just a little pet monster.

Zee: Oh for the love of Satan Over and over. Shut the fuck up

Giulia: They really playing on this satan on your shoulder stuff

Zee: Can I have this car?

Giulia: Ahahah of course Of course he’s there *choking* Oh god

Zee: Oh fuck

Giulia: Don t

Giulia: NO

Giulia: WHAT THE FUCK

Giulia: NO

Giulia: HE IS NOT OK

Dumah: *high pitch* Castiel. What a pleasant surprise.

Giulia: that’s not Dumah

Giulia: Or maybe she is

Zee: I think she is. But one can never be sure here

Giulia: Oh I love her. But she feels weird

Dumah: Oh, I'm not my first choice, either, but here we are.

Zee: Sneering much?

Zee: Can Cas stop with his eyes?

Giulia: No he s beautiful

Giulia: He doesn’t wanna talk about heeeer

Dumah: So he lost his capacity for good through an act of goodness.

Giulia: Awe he feels powerless

Giulia: ...Mmm

S: We know that Mom's not sitting on a cloud playing a harp. She's in a good place Or she's in a great place. She's with Dad.

D: You know what else? There wasn't enough left of her to even try to bring her back.

Zee: Fuck Dean and his face and everything

Zee: This is wrong

Giulia: I don’t like this

Zee: Yep. Wrong

Giulia: Oooh she wants him up there...oooh NOPE Don t

Dumah: Look at the world around you, Jack. You know, there was a time when Earth had moral order. When God would punish those who did wrong and who didn't respect Heaven. But when he left, it all fell apart. You could change that.

Zee: Don’t fall for it

Giulia: Yikes

Giulia: Oh no Dumah is not that great I DON T LIKE THIS

Giulia: Well she’s not wrong

Giulia: JACK

C: I was promised every effort would be made to, uh, locate Jack.

D: Oh. Heaven promised? Great. Well, we should take that to the bank.

Zee: Cas almost can’t look at Dean

Giulia: Oooh Cas speaking the biblical words ....is it wrong that I find it hot? it is right? ....shit

D: So either Chuck came back, which   [Chuckles] That ain't gonna happen, or...

me re-reading this on the 24th of May : YIKES

Giulia: I hate it

Zee: Damn He’s a kid damn him

Giulia: Ooh OH ok but that’s not that bad tho

me still re reading this after the season finale : DOUBLE YIKES

Zee: Yet

Giulia: Oh Jack is. Really

Giulia: Oh poor babe That s not a smart choice

Giulia: She gonna die

Zee: True

Giulia: I don t like this

Zee: He has to count this in the end

Giulia: Oh no Not a dream Oh jack

Zee: I was just taking your friends

Giulia: Ugh

Zee: They gone

Giulia: NO JACK

Giulia: ew

Giulia: Fucking eww

Zee: Sweet lord

Giulia: Well he not ded

Zee: Ding ding ding

Zee: The box

Giulia: Ah ah Told ya. We ve been knew

Giulia: Dean Deeean

Zee: We know that

Giulia: Oh dean Of course

Zee: Me?

Giulia: Ya he will We saw that I hated it

Giulia: Oh u fucking bitches.

Giulia:  Oh and just like that..? They angels?

Giulia: The fuck

Zee: He does believe he’s doing the right thing tho

Dumah: CASTIEL! good news

Giulia: The high pitch

Zee: Higher that appropriate

J: Cass! Look! I'm making angels.

Giulia: OH MY SWEET BABY

C: Dumah. A word?

Giulia: NOW

Giulia: fan herself

Zee: Knew it

Zee: He can hear this

Giulia: Hate this

C: You're establishing a reign of terror, beating humans into submission, stripping Heaven of its mercy.

Dumah: Oh, Heaven never really had any mercy, Castiel.

Giulia: We know that

Giulia: Oh come on I liked her

Zee: Past tense

Giulia: Well she kinda gives off crazy vibes

Zee: Oh Sam’s good

Giulia: U really want this fight

Zee: Are u ok?

Giulia: I am not

Giulia: Oh cas

Zee: Buh Bye

Giulia: Oh bb . Can’t never get over Cas’ expression when he has to kill his own kind ok.

Zee: Dean needs to shut his face

Me listening to Jack saying all the right thing in such a wrong fucking way, and Dean’s anger bubbling up ...lol....I’m in danger.

Giulia: He really does, Dean blink, please

Zee: Sam too

Zee: He’s not gonna

Giulia: Oh jack

Giulia: Shut up

Giulia: Oh the lieees

Zee: Dean’s scary rn

Giulia: He fucking is Lol he looks like micheal

Zee: Yes!

Giulia: “Accident”

Zee: Damn

Giulia: Sam your face is a lie

Zee: Oh jack

Giulia: Jack babe. I’m hurting

Zee: Can’t

Giulia: Sam your face

Giulia: Sam is snappin

Giulia: Oh jack. Poor (almost) innocent

Zee: Holy fucking hell

Giulia: HATE THIS

Giulia: NO

Giulia: NOOO

Zee: Poor kid

Giulia: THIS IS SO BAD

Giulia: FUCK THIS

Zee: Long shots are kinda our thing

Giulia: OJ NOPNDOANSP

Giulia: DNAKSH

C: Dumah was manipulating Jack into doing those things She told him it would please you.

S: Cass, he's here.

Giulia: NO

Zee: Poor innocent summer child

D: He's in the Ma'lak box.

C: No!

Giulia: OH THANK. THIS IS GOING WORSE AND WORSE

D: And that's where he's gonna stay.

C: No. You're doing what Dumah -- You are manipulating him.

Giulia: CAS NOT WRONG

Giulia: AND WORSE

C: What? You just want to forget about him?

Giulia: WTF

D: I wish I could forget about him! After what he did?

Giulia: WTF

Zee: He’s gonna break it

Giulia: SCARED

Giulia: IM

Giulia: ...OH GREAT

Zee: Yep

Giulia: OH THAT S SCARY

Giulia&Zee: OH GREAT

Giulia: supernatural: how a bunch of poor choices get us through life

Zee: Motto

[PROMO]

Giulia: Can I die

Zee: No.

Giulia: But I wanna

Zee: There

Is

Next

Week

Giulia: Was that castiel losing his shit? Because i’m here for that

Giulia:  I wanted him ded

Giulia: Thanks dean

Zee: Well he can’t be blamed. And he’s honest

Giulia: Nope i blame him. I know you hang from his lips ( and other) but he’s wrong

Zee: Shut it.

Giulia: Rational part zee, you know he wrong, they both are .

Giulia: They fucked up

Zee: I mean, they all knew what they were getting into. They just didn’t know how bad it would get

Giulia: The box zee, It was a real bad fucking idea

Zee: Yeah ok. U ain’t wrong there

Giulia: And dean shouldn’t have decided . Especially since we saw how fucking broken he is

Zee: Yeah, but he’s one that has been making the decisions. Since day one. It’s how they made him

Giulia: Well this season he wasn’t,  Sam was in charge And dean was glad of it

Zee: Maybe. Look. I know that locking him in the box was all kinds of wrong. But that was I guess their last resort

Giulia: Lol they could have just fucking talked. Dean was still angry and mourning so that was not an option he was open to.  Because he wanted to jump the kid The moment he saw him back at the bunker.  So yeah...they took the easy way. Jack is like a boat waiting to be steered And now they just gave it to the storm, with a drunk captain ( hallucifer )

Zee: Let’s not forget that Dean was the one who had actually lived and remembered his mother as a kid. Getting her back no matter how crappy she was, was a gift for him. And losing her? Twice?

Giulia: Sure. And? Does that make it right? Nope

Zee: No. It makes it a bit easier to understand

Giulia: It doesn’t Because they are not kids anymore And they know better. I’m blaming the writers here zee, I wouldn’t have make dean act like that

Zee: I know.

Giulia: I mean….earlier seasons? probably, but now? nope I was under the impression they grew.

Zee: What would you have made him do?

Giulia: I don’t know right now, but honestly?  what doesn’t happen in supernatural is people talking to each other

Zee: True.

Giulia: That can’t happen so what’s left?

Zee: Shove the kid in the box

Zee: I can’t wait for next week. NOT!!!

Giulia: Ugh I'm so angry, I’ve been angry since last week ep, And now I’m angrier

Zee: U think there could be another reason they’re making Dean such a “dick”?

Giulia: You can take those “” away. I don t know And I don’t care. We’ll see at the finale

Zee: That we’ll do. U better calm down a bit

Giulia: I’m actually calm. Just Yeah well ...saw that coming

Zee: Almost everyone knew what this ep was about. From the title and shit. Not many believed he’d get out

Giulia: Well I wasn’t ready for it being dean’s stupid fucking idea With some lies and deceptions on top And jack trusting them so candidly

Zee: Jack trusted everybody bb He a kid

Giulia: He knew what that box was, and he still Nope

Giulia: Just Sam face when he listened to them? Nope

Zee: Let’s hope there’s a point to this pain.

Giulia: Ugh that ep left me bitter af

Giulia: That’s how much I disliked these last two ep ☹

Zee: I was waiting for you To express your bitterness

Giulia: Oh you don’t want to open that box trust me, I don’t

Zee: Wait till the end. I think it’s gonna be so much worse If it will make you feel better. Hit me

Giulia: I’m just kinda....that’s not them...idk I feel there’s something wrong, idk I’m disliking how they got written. J2M did an amazing job, as usual, don’t get me wrong, terrific acting, but idk...dean, sam, and cas felt so alien recently idk

Giulia: 3 idk

Zee: I know what you mean. And yes

Giulia: They feel weird And real fucking far away from what I knew of them

Zee: Do you think they’re just fading a bit?

Giulia: Yep Like...washed out But it’s really the writing Because gestures, mannerisms are still there

Zee: Maybe we’re emotionally and psychologically being prepared for the end

Giulia: It’s just what comes out of their mouth and the screenplay Yeah...but still

Zee: It’s disappointing u mean

Giulia: I’m not enjoying this

Zee: I know u aren’t. And when it’s done it won’t be pretty. But maybe it will be for the best after all

Giulia: And this is why I’m glad they decided to stop, I hope season 15 gets back on track and all comes down to an epic end because this season could have been so much more, and I feel they just lost something there

Zee: I think they owe us an epic end The writers I mean

Giulia: Yeah yeah I’m talking about the writers. The actors have little to do, we know it. Jensen said it that they can do little to change what the writers did

Giulia: I’m curious to know if they would have done the same things this season

Zee: Who knows. Maybe they should let the actors write the end

Giulia: Well they said that in season 15 Jensen and Jared were going to get consulted and be part of the screenwriting So ...finger crossed

Zee: They should be. I mean, yeah they’re “vessels” but they are the ones that bring the words to life. Let’s not worry about next season. We still have the “joy” that’s gonna be the last ep of this one

Giulia: I’m so gonna rewrite this season in act 3

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24th of May note: Ok y’all don’t come at me with pitchforks and shit, this was written right after the promo for the finale ok. We still didn’t know shit. So yeah, just take it as it is.

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@wayward-angelgirl @destiel-honeypie     @mariekoukie6661     @dragontamerm      @closetspngirl   @rainflowermoon    @mattiecat   @bunnybaby121115  @aliaitee2   @jacks-word-of-the-day     @4evamc       @dammitsammy     @legendary-destiel   @winchesterprincessbride    @destielhoneybee    @castiellover20   @jacks-word-of-the-day  @ravenhg @evvvissticante  @legendary-destiel  @dustythewind

[ask-the-monokubs]

“Hey ya, Bastards! Thought you could leave us out of this cool ask blog thing? Well you thought wrong!!”

“Yeah! We wanna join the fun too!”

“And we���re bein generous too. If ya keep em under 500 characters, we wont charge ya.”

LETS-ALL-GET-ALONG-AND-BECOME-GREAT-FRIENDS

“HELL YEAH!! LETS FUCK SHIT UP!! GIVE US SOME PROMOS YA PUNK ASS BITCHES!!”

@ask-miu-iruma @ask-korekiyo @babyboy-kokichi @ask-gokuhara-gonta

[a-splash-of-stucky]

Menace

Read this on AO3 Square Filled: PDA Ship: James “Bucky” Barnes/Steve Rogers Rating: E Major Tags: Grinding, Making Out, PDA, Frottage Word Count: 3099 Summary:

Bucky Barnes is a fucking menace.

Case in point: those jeans.

Created for @mcukinkbingo

Notes: Idk how public PDA needs to be for it to be considered PDA, but I figure that aggressively making out in front of your friends counts for something, right? 

The jeans that Bucky has on look a little something like the pair that Seb was wearing during the TIFF 2017 I, Tonya promo stuff. See here and here. 

Bucky’s t-shirt looks like the fifth one from this post. 

Stucky Masterlist

Bucky Barnes is a fucking menace.

This is a fact that Steve’s been aware of for a long time. However, every once in a while, the world likes to remind Steve just how much of a menace Bucky is.

Here’s the thing: Bucky is hot.

Smokin’ hot.

No two ways about it, Bucky is the hottest guy in Brooklyn.

(Steve’s opinion may be subject to high levels of bias, seeing as Bucky is his boyfriend and all).

Here’s another thing: Bucky knows that he’s hot.

More importantly, he knows how to show off his good looks. His fashion sense is unparalleled; every item of clothing that Bucky wears exudes a casual, nonchalant sex appeal that drives Steve crazy.

Case in point: those jeans.

They’re a bit of a mystery, as Steve’s not entirely sure how Bucky got himself into them. They look painted on, hugging his legs like a second skin. The jeans are black and super skinny, clinging to him in all the right places. It’s a wonder that Bucky can walk in them, let alone sit down. The denim wraps around his muscular thighs and is practically moulded to his ass, giving a whole new meaning to the phrase ‘flaunting your assets’. The zipper in the front is straining against his bulge. If zippers could talk, Bucky’s would be begging for mercy.

Then of course, there’s the rest of Bucky’s outfit.

He’s wearing a white t-shirt that fits his torso perfectly. The material is thin enough for Steve to make out the outline of Bucky’s nipples, which is a major reason why Steve’s gaze keeps drifting down to Bucky’s chest. It hadn’t been so bad earlier, when they were outside, as Bucky had been wearing a dark blue bomber jacket that hid the offending nipples from Steve’s wandering eyes. But, now that they’re in Nat and Clint’s living room, the jacket has been shed, and Steve finds himself having to constantly force his eyes to look at more appropriate things.

“You’re staring again,” Sam whispers, elbowing Steve’s side pointedly. “Quit being a pervert.”

“He’s my boyfriend, I can stare if I want to,” Steve replies.

Sam snorts. His gaze drifts over to Bucky, who’s helping Natasha out in the kitchen. “Homeboy needs to buy some jeans that actually fit him,” he mutters.

“They fit him!” Steve protests, “They fit him really well.”

“Yeah?” Sam scoffs, “Well, I think most dudes wanna give their dick some breathing room, but everyone’s got their preference, I guess.”

It’s movie night at Natasha and Clint’s place and everyone is here. Wanda and Clint are by the TV console, hooking Clint’s laptop up to the TV, whilst Tony, Pepper and Sharon are setting out snacks on the coffee table. Steve and Sam have just come back from the corner store, having nipped out to buy a couple of six-packs. They’ve set the beers down on the floor beside the coffee table, as per Pepper’s instructions.

Sam heads off to the bathroom, whilst Steve hops onto the lazyboy, claiming it before it gets taken.

Tonight’s movie is Black Panther. Everyone except Wanda has already seen it, but as it’s a really good movie, no one minds watching it again.

“Okay, we’re ready to go,” Clint announces, standing up and clapping his hands to get everyone’s attention.

“Is it really as good as people say?” Wanda asks, as she claims a bowl of popcorn and curls up at the edge of the couch.

“Better,” Nat assures her. She sits down beside Wanda, then grumbles as Clint plops himself down on her other side, taking up nearly half of the couch in the process.

“Yeah, wait til’ you see Winston Duke in it,” Sharon says dreamily. “Now that’s what I call eye-candy.”

“Hey!” Sam says, affronted. “I go to the bathroom for literally a minute and you’re out here insulting me?”

“I love you too, Sammy,” Sharon says sweetly, feigning innocence. She pecks him on the cheek as he comes to sit beside her on the two-seater.

Tony and Pepper wind up in the oversized armchair, whilst Bucky joins Steve on the lazyboy. He clambers onto Steve’s lap and wedges his ass between the arm rest and Steve’s thigh, draping his legs over Steve’s lap. Bucky tucks Steve’s head against the side of his neck and rests his chin on Steve’s hair. Steve turns his face to the side and presses a kiss to the hollow of Bucky’s throat. Bucky huffs softly in response.

Someone hits play, and everyone quietens down as the opening scene rolls. With a bit of effort, Steve manages to snag a blanket from the side-table and drapes it over his and Bucky’s legs. Bucky hums appreciatively at the gesture.

Though Black Panther is a work of art, Steve’s not in the right headspace to be watching a movie right now. Bucky’s been wearing those goddamn jeans all evening, driving Steve wild; suffice it to say that Steve is a little riled up.

A part of him feels guilty for not paying attention to the cinematic masterpiece that is Black Panther, but he’s watched the movie a dozen times, so the guilt isn’t too strong. Steve’s focus is drawn to the fact that Bucky’s ass is dangerously close to his crotch.

“You’re a menace,” he breathes, nipping the hinge of Bucky’s jaw gently.

“Mm? Why’m I a menace, Stevie?” Bucky asks quietly, not taking his eyes away from the screen.

Steve slides his hand along the inseam of Bucky’s jeans, stopping an inch or so from his crotch.

“Leavin’ the house wearin’ somethin’ like this, that’s why,” Steve murmurs, squeezing Bucky’s thigh affectionately.

“What’s wrong with me wearing these jeans?” Bucky counters, pulling back to look at Steve, a sly smile on his lips.

“You make it hard to think,” Steve whispers, as he mouths at the skin just above Bucky’s collar. “Wanna do so many things to ya, you’ve no idea, Buck.”

Bucky makes a noise that sounds suspiciously like a purr. “Tell me, Stevie.”

Steve swallows, flicking his eyes around the room to make sure that no one’s paying attention to them. “Wish I could bend you over that dining table,” Steve whispers, keeping his voice low. Bucky’s eyes flick over to glance at the table in question.

“Pull your pants down so I could see your ass. Maybe I’d lick at your hole until you’re loose and sloppy, eat you out til’ you come on my tongue alone,” Steve says hotly, catching Bucky’s earlobe between his teeth and tugging slightly. “You’d like that, wouldn’t you?”

“Uh-huh,” Bucky agrees shakily.

“Wanna make you suck me off too,” Steve admits, as he uses the tip of his nose to trace the sharp lines of Bucky’s jaw. “Pull your hair, make you choke on my cock, get it all wet and messy so that I could slip it to ya.”

“Steve,” Bucky whimpers. He threads his fingers through Steve’s hair, nails scratching against Steve’s scalp.

“Wanna make you scream, Buck,” Steve says, a bit of a growl creeping into his voice. He swallows, fighting to keep his voice down, so that he doesn’t disturb anyone.

Steve trails his lips over Bucky’s skin, mouthing at the underside of Bucky’s jaw and down his throat. He plants sloppy, haphazard kisses over every bit of exposed skin that he can get to. “Wanna punish you for bein’ like this,” he says, “Makin’ me walk around with a semi all evenin’ – Christ, you got no idea, Buck.”

“I want you to fuck me,” Bucky whispers, a hint of a needy whine behind his words.

Steve bites his lips and closes his eyes, breathing out a shuddering breath. “I want that too, Buck,” he says quietly, his tongue flicking out to taste Bucky’s skin again. “Wanna fuck you hard and then I wanna make love to you, take care of ya’ real good, baby.”

“Fuck, I want you so bad, Buck,” Steve says fervently.

Bucky makes a little hurt noise in the back of his throat as his upper body twists around. He crooks his finger under Steve’s chin, tipping his head back and bringing their lips together. So much is said without a word passing between them.

I love you. I want you. You make me crazy, so goddamn crazy, Steve says, with every press of his lips and each swipe of his tongue.

I know, Bucky says in return, I love you too, I want you just as much. When Bucky pulls away, there’s a mad gleam in his eyes, a flush of colour dusting the tops of his cheekbones.

Bucky presses his cheek to Steve’s temple. “I’ll let you do anything you want to me when we get home, Stevie, I swear,” Bucky promises, his hot breath ghosting over Steve’s cheek and the top of his ear.

Steve turns his face to the side, pressing his forehead against Bucky’s throat. He can feel Bucky’s racing pulse at that point of contact.

“You wanna bend me over the table and eat my ass out? You can do that,” Bucky says breathily. “Want me to suck you off? I will. Wanna make me cry and beg? We can. Wanna make love to me in our bedroom? We’ll do it, I swear,” he whispers, twining his fingers in Steve’s hair.

He uses his grip to pull Steve’s head back, forcing Steve to look him in the eyes. “We can do it all, baby, I promise you,” Bucky husks.

Steve’s not sure what kind of expression is on his face right now, but he’s pretty sure it’s something mushy and sappy, full of love. Half of Bucky’s face is illuminated by the TV, the colourful lights flickering across his skin in mesmerising patterns. He looks beautiful like this, with his features thrown into sharp relief by the contrast of dark and light.

“I love you,” Steve says.

Bucky rolls his eyes. “Love you too, you mook,” he whispers, leaning down to capture Steve’s lips with his.

Steve sighs happily, lips parting underneath the pressure of Bucky’s insistent tongue. Bucky licks into his mouth, hot and wet and insistent, a brief hint at what they’ll be doing later tonight.

Steve’s eyes flutter shut as Bucky trails wet kisses along his jaw, pausing to suck on the sensitive skin beneath his ear. He shivers with arousal, his cock beginning to stir in his jeans.

“Buck,” he says warningly.

Bucky pays him no attention. He continues to trace the tendons in Steve’s neck with his tongue, stopping occasionally to nibble at Steve’s sensitive spots, the ones that make his toes curl reflexively. Steve has to bite down on his lip to stifle his moans; Bucky’s actions are driving him half-mad with pleasure.

“Buck, we gotta stop,” Steve rasps.

“You started it, Stevie,” Bucky murmurs, leaning down to scrape his teeth over Steve’s jugular. Steve’s fingers flex involuntarily, itching to grab Bucky’s waist and flip them onto the floor.

He opens his eyes a fraction to study the state of the room. Everyone else is focused on the movie, captivated by T’Challa and Shuri’s playful banter, seemingly oblivious to his and Bucky’s antics. Steve doesn’t know whether that will be the case for much longer.

“You started it,” Bucky repeats, his clever tongue tracing the shell of Steve’s ear, pulling Steve’s attention back to him. A shiver of excitement runs down Steve’s spine.

“You started it,” Steve retorts, turning to quickly peck Bucky on the lips. “Wearin’ those jeans – that’s what got me thinkin’ in the first place.”

“You love me in these jeans,” Bucky whispers, a sly smirk on his face.

“Yeah, I guess do,” Steve says, trying – and failing – to inject a little bit of heat to his voice. Bucky’s smile widens as his arms loop around Steve’s neck, pulling their bodies closer. Each press of his lips against Steve’s is hot and purposeful; Bucky’s not fucking around. When his fingers thread through Steve’s hair and tug gently, Steve moans a little louder than he should’ve.

That draws some people’s attention.

“Get a room, you two!” Tony yells, throwing a pillow at Bucky’s head. It misses him completely, landing somewhere behind the chair.

Bucky flips him off, not even breaking the kiss to do so.

“Steve! Bucky! Ew, no one wants to see that!” Wanda protests. He hears Natasha wolf-whistling loudly.

Bucky huffs against Steve’s lips. Without warning, without pulling his lips away, Bucky somehow manages to twist his body, swinging his legs around until he’s straddling Steve’s lap. The blanket flutters to the floor. Bucky drops his full weight onto Steve’s crotch, exerting pressure on Steve’s hardened cock, forcing a choked-off groan out of his lungs.

“Buck—what’re you—”

“Shut up and kiss me,” Bucky growls quietly, fisting his hands in the front of Steve’s shirt.

Their lips crash together in a sloppy, passionate kiss – a symphony of lips and tongue and teeth clacking together. Of their own volition, one of Steve’s hands curls around the back of Bucky’s neck, whilst the other grips his waist tightly.

“Bucky,” Steve pants, not breaking the kiss. “Stop it—we gotta—we can’t—”

“Fuck ‘em, Stevie,” Bucky whispers, as his lips trail across Steve’s cheek, over his jaw and down his neck. “I don’t care, I want you so bad.”

Steve groans, resigning himself to fate. Bucky is a man on a mission, and if there’s one thing that Steve knows about his boyfriend, it’s that nothing can get in his way once he’s set his heart on something. Bucky’s fingers have threaded through his hair, holding his head in place as his tongue curls into Steve’s mouth, kissing him wet and dirty. Steve lets his hands roam over Bucky’s toned back and shoulders, tracing his bunching and flexing muscles through the thin fabric of his t-shirt.

Bucky’s hands let go of Steve’s hair, and he moves to grip the back of the lazyboy. He uses his hold as leverage to grind himself against Steve’s body, rubbing their crotches together. The friction on his cock is amazing, making Steve’s eyes flutter shut.  He has to bite his lips to suppress a moan.

“Fuck, baby,” he chokes out, hands sliding down Bucky’s rippling back to rest on his ass. He can’t help but give it a little squeeze, which only prompts Bucky to grind against him with more intent. Steve’s been trying hard to keep his touches above the waist, but with Bucky not playing fair – well, it’s not Steve’s fault that things got so hot so fast.

Steve opens his eyes, leaning back to watch Bucky’s movements.

He is mesmerising, backlit by the glowing light of the TV. Strands of hair has fallen out of his bun, clinging to his temples and cheeks. His lips are plump and kiss-bitten, rounded in a soft ‘o’. His cheeks are stained red and his eyes are hooded with lust. As Steve’s eyes rake down his body, he notes how Bucky’s stiff nipples are poking through the flimsy material of his top; Steve’s lips ache to close around them, to torture those sensitive little nubs. His eyes travel further south, zeroing in on the prominent bulge in the front of Bucky’s jeans, where his cock is straining against his zipper.

“You guys!” Sam yells, “Stop it, or I swear to god, I’ll dump cold water on you both.”

In response, Bucky winks at Steve, before inching closer and literally shoving his tongue down Steve’s throat. Steve laughs into his mouth but plays along, sliding his hands underneath Bucky’s t-shirt, fingertips tracing the muscles in his back.

“Oh my god, you horny dogs,” Sam groans. His voice is muffled, like he’s covered his face with a cushion.

“Boys! Not on my chair!” Nat yells. Steve can hear someone – possibly Clint or Tony – hooting and cat-calling.

“Guys!” Wanda whines, “I wanna watch.”

“How the fuck can you guys be so into each other when Chadwick fucking Boseman is shirtless, on screen?” Sharon asks incredulously.

Bucky breaks the kiss, a wild, disbelieving look in his eyes. “Have you seen Steve without his shirt?” he asks, “Now there’s a pair of pecs.”

“Bucky,” Steve says exasperatedly, cheeks aflame with embarrassment.

“And you say I’m bad, Peps,” Tony says teasingly.

“You are, just not as bad as them,” Pepper replies.

Steve can register other comments being made, but his attention has re-focused on Bucky, who is now intent on sucking a bruise on his collarbone. Bucky has tugged the neckline of his t-shirt down, giving his mouth access to that sensitive spot on Steve’s chest, the one that makes his groin throb with pleasure.

“Buck,” he gasps urgently, fingers digging into Bucky’s side. “Buck—baby, c’mon, lemme take you home, yeah? Take care of you proper, like I want to.”

“No,” Bucky murmurs, his tongue laving over the purple bruise that has started to form on Steve’s skin. “Want you now.”

Steve closes his eyes and inhales shakily, trying to reign in his deep-seated urge to fuck Bucky senseless right now. He’s hanging on by the thinnest thread of self-control, and he needs to get them out of here before they embarrass themselves any further.

“Buck, hey—Bucky,” Steve says, tangling his fingers into Bucky’s hair and yanking his head back. Bucky whines quietly, though he doesn’t fight Steve’s grip. His eyes are glazed with lust, pupils blown wide.

“Hey there, sweetheart,” Steve coos softly, stroking the knuckles of his free hand over Bucky’s cheek. “Why don’t you let me take you home and show you a real good time, yeah? Open you up real nice for my cock, give you what you want, hmm?”

Bucky’s eyes flutter shut. Steve can feel the desire practically vibrating out of his body. “Okay,” he croaks, nodding jerkily.

“Okay,” Steve agrees, loosening his grip on Bucky’s hair.

Quick as a flash, Bucky whips around, swiping the blanket from off the floor and wrapping it around his waist as he stands up, the material making his erection less obvious. “Meet ya’ downstairs, Stevie,” he says, winking at Steve cheekily before spinning on his heel and stalking off.

With no means of hiding his hard-on from his friends, Steve groans quietly, his head thumping against the back of the lazyboy as he presses the heel of his palms to his eyes. Walking down a couple of flights of stairs with a rock-solid dick is going to be difficult enough; the fact that anyone he passes will see the clear evidence of his arousal simply worsens the problem.

Steve sighs. His boyfriend is a fucking menace.

[niallismymuse]

Start of Something More

          Though I would never admit it, being Harry Styles’ best friend has its perks. For one, I’ve been able to travel the world, see sights most people my age only dream of. I’m incredibly blessed, and it’s only because I have an incredible, gifted friend. Also, because of my one incredible, gifted friend, I’ve made other incredible, gifted friends.

           You may have heard of them; they were in a little band called One Direction, which is currently on hiatus as they each branch out and try new things. Because of Harry, I met Louis, Liam, Zayn, and Niall.

           They all hold a special place in my heart, Niall especially. Which is why when I told Harry I was going to see one of Niall’s concerts, he winked cheekily at me, a broad grin stretching across his face. “Should I warn the lad to pack a condom or two?”

           “Harry!” I smacked his arm, my face coloring. Perhaps telling Harry about my crush on his former bandmate was a bad idea. I trusted Harry with my life and soul, but maybe telling him this was too much. “Niall’s my friend too, I want to support him.” It was true. Over several visits on tours, I had grown close to all of the band members, though Niall most of all. It was why I wanted to surprise him at his concert in London.

           Harry waggled his eyebrows at me, and I frowned at him. “Alright, love, make sure you have an excellent time.” He was still teasing me.

           I deflated a little, crossing my arms over my chest. “You won’t tell him, will you? I want it to be a surprise, and it won’t be if you rush off and text him the minute I leave.”

           “I’ve got better things to do than to text Niall about your plans for him, love,” Harry’s voice was a bit wry, and I sighed out in relief.

           “Thank you, Harold. You’re good to me.” I swept my arms around him and held him close, patting his back. I could sense the shit eating grin before I saw it.

           “I am, but you better be good to Niall, too, when you see him.” The innuendo was clear in his voice, and I didn’t feel guilty as I hauled back and smacked his arm again, ignoring his pouty whine after the fact.

           “Shut up, Styles, and take me to brunch.”

             The night of the concert arrived too quickly, and for some reason, I was nervous. I wasn’t sure why, either, since it’s not like I’m the person singing live onstage. Niall didn’t even know that I was coming, and might not even notice me at all, but for some reason I find myself dressing up in a form fitting black dress that goes down to my knees. “You’re dressing up too much for this,” I muttered to myself, but nevertheless, kept the dress on and matched it with some black flats. Like hell I was going to wear heels to a concert; I’m not that extra.

           I kept the makeup simple, and pinned my hair back in a bun. I looked at myself in the full-length mirror I had in my bedroom, and damn, I looked good. Fancy dinner good, not concert good, but it was too late to change, I had to get going if I wanted to get to the venue on time.

           Trying not to overthink, I headed out and got into my car, driving towards the venue. I made good time, and even managed to find a halfway decent parking spot. I walked briskly towards the arena, hoping to God that some of the more eagle-eyed fans wouldn’t notice me. I had been in the pop news sites before, and in some of the band’s pictures; heck, I had even received some death threats when rumors were circulating about Harry and I supposedly dating. I didn’t need anything like that to ruin my night.

           Once I got situated in my seat (orchestra seating; I did my time waiting for tickets just like every other fan), I sat book and took a quick selfie before posting it on Instagram. I wrote out a quick caption: Excited for the show! And tagged Niall in it. I figured he wouldn’t see it until after the show, anyway; he was probably warming up. Maren was due to start shortly.

           Though I wasn’t much of a country fan, I appreciated Maren’s performance and applauded her like everyone else. She was special in her own way; Niall wouldn’t have chosen her otherwise.

           Everyone in the arena was a bit of a nervous wreck waiting for Niall to take the stage. The mood was infectious; I could feel my heart pounding a bit faster in my chest, and I kept gnawing at my lip. I was just so excited to see Niall perform his solo material; he deserved the sun and the moon and the stars, this man. I had listened to his album over and over again in preparation for this night, but I was sure that recorded, it wouldn’t do him justice.

           The arena lights darkened, and the fans erupted into cheers. Niall strode out onto stage, grinning broadly, his guitar strapped to his chest. “’Ello!” He spoke directly into the microphone, his deep voice resonating throughout the stadium. It made my heart jump into my throat a little. He looked so gorgeous and at ease on the stage, a dark gray, long-sleeve shirt clasping to his body like a glove. For once, he wasn’t wearing a hat, and his dark hair shined a bit in the lighting. “Lovely crowd we’ve got here tonight, London! I’m pleased to see ya all here. And with that bein’ said, let’s get started.”

           Niall was pure energy on stage, though in a relaxed way. He constantly engaged with his audience, and crooned his songs like the best of them. Even from my seat, where I stood dancing and swaying with the other fans, I could see the sparkle in his eyes. He loved what he was doing, pure and simple. It was an incredible thing to experience; within the first seconds of his first song, I was swept away into the music.

           Towards the end of the show, I felt someone tap me on the shoulder. I turned back, startled, only to see a big, burly security guard. “You’ve been requested to come back.”

           Heart pounding in my chest, I followed him out of the crowd and towards backstage. There was nothing else I could do at this point in time. “Did Niall send for me?” I asked, a step or two behind the security guard. He nodded his head, but didn’t say anything else. He was probably annoyed at being sent out like that.

           He left me close to where Niall was performing, but still off to the wings of the stage, where no one from the audience would see me. Niall paused before his final song, and took a long sip from his water bottle, back turned to the crowd. As he spun around to face them once more, we locked eyes. I felt my lips part at the intensity of his gaze; it felt like he was staring right into you, holding you hostage with his eyes. And then the moment broke and he turned back to his audience. “It’s been an incredible night, London. We’re gonna close it out with a favorite of ours.” He grinned cheekily and then ‘Slow Hands’ began.

           I sang along, not able to help it. It was such a sensual song, and a favorite of mine. And Niall got into it, like really into it. There was even a moment where he almost did that crotch-grab he was so fond of in One Direction. But he didn’t do it, even though I was secretly hoping for him too.

           Watching him so closely had me feeling all kinds of things. I pressed my thighs together to ease the slight ache that was staring to build up from the sight of him, and mentally cursed myself for my own weakness. Niall doesn’t even like you that way, what are you getting horny for?! I screamed at myself, but it didn’t matter, because Niall wiggled his hips and I was gone. It didn’t help that I had a great view of his little peach bum from backstage.

           Niall was hot. That was simple, and I really didn’t need to go much more into it. He had changed physically in the years I had known him; he went from a cute boy to a sexy, handsome man, and I was into it. His shoulders had broadened out, his hips were still slim, and his brunette hair spoke to a certain maturity that hadn’t always been there before. Besides, the guy was confident with himself now – just look at his album cover.

           The show ended, and Niall and his band took a bow together, before roaming backstage, directly at me. My heart fluttered in my chest as Niall came straight up to me and wrapped me in those strong arms of his. “Love! Didn’t know you were coming, or else I would have gotten ya better seats!” I felt the scratch of his stubble against my jaw as he pressed a kiss to my cheek and took a step back and smiled at me. “I’ve missed ya.”

           Could he see how red my face was? My heart beat was in my ears, but somehow, someway, I still managed to smile at him. “I’ve missed you too, Niall. What an incredible performance!”

           “Yeah, it was alright,” he chuckled and scratched at the back of his neck. “Listen, I gotta help the band clean up, but I’ll take you to my dressing room and you can wait for me there, okay? We’ll hang out.”

           I nodded my head quickly. “Yeah, of course.” With that being said, Niall offered me his arm, and I tucked mine through his, grinning foolishly as he led me down the hall. He was so goofy; it was why I had fallen for him in the first place.

           Niall helped me get comfortable on a plush couch situated in the middle of the dressing room he was given, and then left with a few dozen promises of, “I’ll be back, love!”. I could have sworn I heard him call someone else a wanker as he left the room, his loud cackle echoing back to me.

           So. Here I was in Niall’s dressing room. This wasn’t really where I figured the night would go at all; I didn’t think he would know I had been there until after. I should have posted the selfie after the concert, he must have seen it and known I was there because of it.

           My mind wandered while I waited, legs crossed and hands clasped on my lap. I hadn’t seen Niall in quite a few months, since my job was centered in London, and Niall spent quite a lot of time in LA. With all of the album promo, he had been going all over the US as well. Not that we didn’t stay in contact; I had his number, he had mine, and in fact, we had talked a few days ago without mentioning his concert.

           There was a knock on the door and I jumped, standing up. “Um…come in?”

           It was Niall. “Hey,” he said as he popped in, grinning widely.

           “Why did you knock for your own dressing room?”

           He tilted his head to the side, thinking about it. “Dunno. Wanna come back to my place and have a drink with me?”

           That sounded wonderful, actually, and I nodded my head quickly. “Yeah, that sounds good.”

           Niall led me outside, and side-eyed me as we walked towards the stadium exit. “I’m assuming you drove here, yeah?” When I nodded my head, he stopped. “Well, I’m with the band, so my car is out back. I’ll walk you to yours and give you directions to my place, okay?”

           “Oh, Niall, you don’t need to walk me. There will be fans out in the parking lot, and they’ll see you and go mad.” And see me, I added in my head. That wouldn’t bode well for either of us. “Just give me your address and I’ll meet you there, okay?”

           Niall mulled it over and nodded his head. “Sounds good, yeah,” he said and I pulled my phone out, allowing him to type his address in. I had been to his London house once or twice, but not recently, so I definitely needed directions. I plugged it into maps, waved at him, and started off towards my car without looking back.

           Once I hopped in my car, I followed the directions my mobile told me, and arrived outside of his gate. Luckily, I had heard my phone chime with a text earlier, and as I had guessed, it was the gate key. I pushed it in and drove through the gates, parking out of the way so Niall could get in. At that point, I had beaten him somehow (London traffic was awful, so I was surprised we hadn’t arrived together), so there was nothing for me to do but stare out at his large, two-story house.

           It was elegant, and modern, and the landscaping was nice. I didn’t know much about houses, but even I could tell that this was a nice one, and right expensive.

           I heard the gates open behind me, and I turned in my seat to watch Niall’s Range drive in seamlessly. I got out, my flats crunching a bit on the gravel driveway. Niall got out as well and grinned that infectious grin of his, and nodded towards his front door. “Come in, would ya?”

           I laughed, smiling wide enough that my cheeks hurt. “That’s why I bloody came here, you daft moron.”

           “Oi!”

           Giggling, I walked up to his front door with him, watching as he unlocked the door. I kicked my shoes off and left them by the door, and watched as he took his own black Chelsea boots and neatly placed them in a row. Then he took my flats and placed them alongside his own. “Still anal as always, I see.”

           Niall flashed me a glare, before clicking his tongue. “I invite you to my home, and all you’ve done is insult me so far.”

           I shrugged. “You’re easy to insult.”

           Barking out a laugh, Niall shook his head, and padded off past the entranceway to the kitchen. “I’m grabbin’ a Stella. Want one?”

           “But of course.”

           I followed behind him, looking over his house. It was as neat as ever, carefully cleaned. Niall was a bit neurotic about his cleaning, something I discovered on tour. He was meticulously neat compared to the other lads, who were absolute disasters with someone cleaning up after them. Niall cleaned up after himself, kept his clothes neatly folded, and even bothered the others to do the same. Some things didn’t change.

           Niall popped the lid off and handed me the bottle, before grabbing one for his own. “How have you been?” He asked, eyes locked on mine as he took a long sip of his beer, Adam’s apple bobbing. Leaning against his counter, I updated him on my job and how our mutual social circles were. He listened, letting out a chuckle here and there at the stupidly ridiculous stories I told about our idiot friends. And he kept his eyes on mine the entire time I talked. It was a good feeling.

           “It’s good to see you,” I said later as we reclined on his couch, a couple Stella’s in. “Like, really good to see you.”

           Niall chuckled, eyes flashing at you from across the couch. You were both leaned against an opposite arm rest, his sock-covered feet bumping and rubbing against your own bare ones. “It’s really great to see you, love. I’ve missed ya.”

           “You’ve said that,” I replied, smiling as I bumped my toes against his.

           “Well, it’s true. You’re a good friend of mine, and – “ Here he paused and swallowed, eyes looking a bit conflicted. I sat up a bit more, interested in what he was cutting off. I bit at my lower lip, looking at him, my eyes a bit wide.

           “And what, Niall?”

           He let out a puff of air. “And nothin’. Just missed you.” He tossed a lopsided smile at me and then proceeded to tug at the fringe of his hair with his fingers, taking another sip of his Stella to cut his own sentence off.

           I narrowed my eyes at him. Something was definitely off. I lunged forward, pressing myself into his lap, my motions a bit sloppy from how tipsy I was. My face was inches away from his; I could feel his rapid breaths against my cheek as our eyes locked. There was a little alarm bell going off in my head – this was too close, I needed to back off, but I couldn’t do it. There was something delicious in this contact we had, in feeling his thigh pressed against my knee, how close our chests were to touching. How close our lips were to touching. “Alright, Horan, what the fuck is going on in your head?” I demanded, keeping my gaze locked on his.

           Niall bit at his lip, which I instantly hated him for, because it only drew my attention down to his very kissable, pink lips. Damn his lips. “Love…ya just don’t understand.”

           My eyes narrowed once more. “So make me understand.”

           Niall looked away from me at that point, and swallowed harshly. He leaned back a bit away from me, which stung a bit, but he didn’t seemed to have done it to get away. He had a thoughtful face on, his brows furrowed, though he looked a bit stressed at the same time. Finally, Niall looked back at me, his clear blue eyes connecting with mine. “I like you.”

           I sat back a bit, falling off of his legs and onto the couch, mostly from the drinks. “Of course you like me. You’re my friend.” Niall huffed out a sigh at my answer and pulled at his hair again, hard enough that I was briefly concerned that he would just yank it all out. He leaned forward, bunching his legs under him, and grabbed at my hand.

           “No, you daft moron,” he joked, bringing back my words from earlier, “well, yes, I like you as a friend, but I also like you…more than a friend.”

           It felt like my heart had just swelled in my chest and burst. This couldn’t be real. Niall…liked me? Like I liked him? How could this be real life? This was beyond my wildest hopes and dreams. Probably taking my silence as a negative response, he rushed on. “But if you don’t return my feelings, that’s okay, you’ll never hear it again from me and-“

           I cut him off by pressing my lips to his own. My hand cupped his jaw, fingers running affectionately against his skin. Niall was frozen for a moment, body tense, but then he relaxed under me, his arms rising up and around me, melding into me. His lips parted slightly, and I was home. That was honestly the way I felt as his lips moved with mine, as he explored me with the vigor I had always hoped for. It was everything.

           Moments or hours later, I pulled back, gasping for air with my cheeks aflame. Niall didn’t care, his lips simply reattached themselves to the skin of my neck, an open-mouthed kiss that went straight to my core. A rush of wetness suddenly flooded my panties, and I moaned aloud at the sensation of Niall’s teeth gently nipping at my skin. This man was getting me all riled up, but as I adjusted myself on his lap, I could feel his length starting to fatten up beneath me. Experimentally, I rocked my hips, and listened as Niall let out a quiet grunt in response. “Christ on a bicycle, woman,” he muttered.

           I giggled, pleased with the response, even as Niall pushed his hips against mine, needily rutting up into me. My body felt on fire; zips and licks of flame shooting from my toes, up.

           “I want you,” I leaned forward to whisper, nipping gently at his ear.

           “Fuck, darlin’, I want you to,” Niall replied, his fingers gripping tight into the flesh of my hips. I leaned forward to eagerly press my lips to his, but Niall leaned back away from me. Stung, I settled back away from him. His chest was heaving; he took a few steadying breaths to calm himself. When he looked at me, I could see his pupils had bled into the beautiful blue color of his eyes. “But…I don’t want to do this to ya.”

           Confused, I frowned at him. “What do you mean, ‘do this to me’? I quite want it, myself.”

           Niall sighed deeply and used both hands to rub at his face, a bit roughly. “I’m only in London for another day or two, and they’re both packed full of interviews and promo. I don’t think I can hang out with you, and I don’t want to fuck you and send you off with a ‘see ya later’. And we’ve both had a bit to drink, I don’t want ya to regret this. I want to do this properly, petal. I want to take you out on dates, kiss you in the moonlight, cuddle on the couch…but I can’t do that yet.”

           Understanding lit through me, and for some reason, it made my eyes water. I sniffled and leaned away. Niall practically flinched at the sight of my tears. “Oh, no, please don’t cry! I want you, I promise I do!”

           “It’s not that,” I hiccupped. Definitely too much to drink. “You’re just so…so sweet, and I can’t handle it!”

           Niall let out a deep chuckle at my explanation, and I felt the rough palm of his hand curl against my cheek. My eyes closed, and I savored the feeling of his touch on my skin. “Okay. When I come back, love, will you go out on a proper date with me?”

           My eyes flew open. “Of course! Niall, I nearly fucked you on the couch a minute ago, I’m not about to turn down a date.”

           A loud bark of a laugh worked its way out of his chest, and Niall’s head tipped back in pure mirth. I let out a laugh of my own, thrilled to chase such a reaction out of him. Not that it was hard; Niall laughed easily and frequently, even at himself. Especially at himself.

           “Proper date it is, then,” Niall chuckled out and I nodded, smiling widely with glee.

           I leaned in and pressed a kiss to his scratchy cheek. “It’s a good thing I came to your concert. It feels like this is the start of something more, y’know?”

           Niall’s responding smile was soft, his eyes crinkling a bit at the edges. His pupils had returned to their normal state; there was that beautiful, clear blue I loved. “I have to agree.”

[4everinsane]

Harry Styles - “Living the Dream” Part Three

Part One and Part Two

This is one of my favorite series’ that I’ve written. Enjoy part three! And thank you!

Your flight had come too soon. You’d packed up your suitcase after five wonderful days in France, watching Harry film everyday and then returning to the hotel for a wonderful evening together. The two of you had ventured out once for dinner but were basically mobbed and agreed that until the heat of your new relationship died down it was probably best to keep in private in much as possible. 

“Don’ leave.” Harry muttered, pulling you back over to the bed. His call time was later in the day so he was still in nothing but his boxers but you had gotten fully dressed, ready to meet the car that was surely going to pull up any minute now and take you to the airport. 

“Harry, I have to.” You tell him but allow yourself to be tugged under the blankets and held tightly against his tattooed and warm chest. You snuggle into his soft skin, breathing in deeply, taking in his so familiar scent. Harry’s cologne and shampoo was a smell you had grown to know and love over the last five or so years and it had always felt like home but it did even more so now. 

“Jus’ a couple more days.” And as his lips found yours, you knew you were about to cancel that car and plane ticket. 

You did eventually have to leave though. You had meetings and things to get to back in Los Angeles so it was finally time to bid him goodbye. The goodbye was drug out, slow kisses, whispered I love you’s, sensual touches along the others body. 

Eventually though he carried your bags down to the lobby and loaded up the car for you before right there in full view of the fans, who still crowded the hotel’s front door everyday but were thankfully being held back by security and hotel staff well enough, he pulled you against his chest and pressed his lips to yours. The screams intensified but you ignored them and kissed him deeply. 

“Meet you in LA.” You pull back to say, giving him a smile. Harry was finishing up filming soon so the two of you wouldn’t be separated for too long. 

“Let me know when you land.” He kisses you one last time before you finally climb into the car and it heads off for the airport. 

After Harry finished up with the movie and joined you back in LA, the two of you took to spending the night together at either his house or yours almost every night. The two of you had been extremely close and attached to one another while in the band but something had changed and it was a whole new need for the other. You knew it was being in the honeymoon phase and eventually wouldn’t be as strong but for the time being you made sure he was around you as much as possible and he didn’t mind one bit. 

“I’ll miss you.” You pout over at Harry as the two of you laid in your bed together early one morning. Harry was going to catch a flight later that afternoon, his manager and a few musician friends in tow, ready to seclude themselves in none other than Jamaica and get to work on his first solo album. 

“Well, if you didn’ have to go off bein’ your own solo rockstar you could have come with us.” You had just dropped your first solo song two days earlier and were in the midst of a whirlwind of interviews and promo. It was so exciting and different, being the only face to a song now - all attention was on you. 

“I’m gonna come visit in a few weeks, just don’t know when yet.” Harry catches your lips with his for a brief kiss before he pulls back with a sigh, pulling you tightly against his chest. 

“Bit strange, isn’ it?” You give him a puzzled look so he continues. “This solo thing. All of us doin’ our own thing. Louis has Freddie, Niall released his song, you got yours out there now too, Liam is workin on his and I’m about to go write an album - by myself.” You sigh, resting your head on his chest. He tangles his fingers with yours, absentmindedly playing with your fingers. 

“We’re just all doing what’s best for us. We were amazing together but just think with all five of us out there individually spreading our creativity.. the world isn’t ready for it.” He gives a low chuckle, his chest rumbling under your ear. 

“’m just glad I got to experience all tha’ with the band with you at my side and now even though we’ll be apart fo’ a few weeks, really you’re still with me again. Couldn’ do any of this without ya, really.” You lift your head up and smile down at him. 

“Well lucky for you, you’re stuck with me and will never have to do it without me.” He grins, his dimples making an appearance as he rests a hand on your cheek. 

“Good.” His fingers slide into your hair and his lips find yours. 

The time apart from Harry was hard but you facetimed with him daily, he played you bits of songs or sang you lyrics, even asking your advice for some kinks he was working through. You visited him for a week midway through his seclusion and he said it was exactly what he needed to relax and get back into a good head writing space. “Goin’ through withdrawals, I was.” He stated when you asked why he was having trouble writing there for a bit. “From what?” As soon as you’d asked him that the smirk on his face answered that. He didn’t even have to answer as he just pulls you down onto the bed, that was answer enough. 

“What are you going to do when the two of you are off busy touring? Before a tour meant the two of you were stuck together on a tour bus every single day but now... a tour for the two of you is two separate tours...” Anne had spoken these words to her son around the same time he’d come to visit, playing her and Robin his now finished album. You hadn’t accompanied him as you’d meetings, preparing for your album release in a few days, which Harry would be back in time for, of course. “You won’t be able to see each other much.” 

“We know that, mum,” Harry of course had thought about this, and often, especially as him and his management really got down to working on his tour. You had already worked out yours, having just announced it and it looked like none of your time off or dates corresponded with the other, yet. So far it would look like months between seeing one another. “We’ll make it work, we’ve waited this long to be together, we aren’ goin’ to let not seein each other every day ruin us. We’re jus’ making the most of what time we do have at home together until she leaves.” 

Once you did leave for tour though, it was hard. Harry was lonely, waiting for promo of his own album to begin, he spent his time in meetings or at home. He just really missed your presence. Sometimes, he really hated that the both of you were in the same career path. Of course, if you weren’t you never would have met, but being musicians meant your time at home was very limited. He’d gotten used to not seeing his loved ones often but not seeing you.. even while on tour you were a constant, always there beside him. And now you weren’t. It was a strange and foreign feeling to Harry and he hated it. 

You had purposefully made a few months break between legs of tour so that you could be home for Harry’s new song release and then the following promo up until the actual album drop. And having you back in his arms every night overshadowed any happiness he was feeling for the album. 

“I think one of us should quit our jobs.” He mumbles into your neck one night. Tomorrow was the day of his album release and you had yet to hear all of it, wanting to hear it along with the rest of his fans, anxiously awaiting the coming of solo Harry. 

“What?” You answer with a laugh. You’d thought Harry had fallen asleep. His head was buried in your neck, his breathing warming your skin, his arm was draped across your hips and his body basically consumed yours, his legs tangled with yours. You didn’t mind one bit. Your fingers brushed through his still short hair, though it was a bit longer now than it was when he was filming Dunkirk. He was talking about getting a trim soon though. 

“We’re apart too much.” He sighs, lifting his head to look down at you. It was dark in your room but you could still see, and basically feel, the sadness radiating from him. “I miss you so much.” 

“Harry, I’m right here though. I know I leave for tour again soon, and you leave for promo and then more promo for Dunkirk, but we’ve been making this work, haven’t we? We still always find our way back together, and we always will.” You seal this promise with a heated kiss to his lips and all conversation ends there. You feel his sadness wash out of his body as he consumes you, replaced with pure bliss and happiness. 

You went with Harry to Radio 1 the next morning, ready to listen to his album from start to finish as he debuted it on his best friend Nick’s breakfast show. As you listen to the songs, all of them where filled with such sadness, it seemed. Being alone, being hurt. It broke your heart. You hadn’t realized how alone Harry felt, how much sadness he truly had within him. Though when Sweet Creature was next, Nick asked who it was about and Harry simply looked over at you and smiled before shrugging and saying it was up to interpretation. 

Once you heard the words, ‘don’t know where we’re going but we know where we belong’, ‘wherever I go, you bring me home’, you think you knew who it was about. Harry meets you eye and the two of you smile at each other. 

“Your album is lovely, Harry.” You tell him once he was finished with the show. The two of you stood in the front lobby, waiting for your car to pull around. He smiles at you, pulling you into a tight hug. 

“Couldn’t have gotten through any of this without your support.” He presses a hard kiss to the side of your head before pulling back to smile down at you. “I really don’ know what the future holds for you and I but I know I’ll figh’ for us forever. You’re my home, my happiness, my love, and I can’ imagine my life withou’ you in it.” His words just about brought tears to your eyes and you reach up, taking his face in your hands and standing on your toes to reach your lips to his. 

“Lucky for you I’m not going anywhere,” You assure him when you pull back. “Even if we are far apart for awhile, just know you’re who I will always come back to. And the second you need me, I’ll be there - no matter what.” 

“I love you.” He presses another kiss to your lips before the car pulls up and your conversation ends as you head outside, walking past the fans waiting out front with a smile and a wave in their direction. By now everyone had gotten used to your relationship as in a two months it will have been a year since the two of you got together but they still were excited about it. Now though, the question moved from ‘when are you going to get together?’ to “when will you get married?’ Obviously that was no where near about to happen but you let the fans continue to dream anyway. 

Your life with Harry was everything you could ask for. You were happy and in love, as he was with you and really, that’s all that you needed. You were excited to see where the future did take you, what kind of life you would get to live with Harry, but for now you were perfectly content. 

[aniallstory-blog]

Chapter Sixteen

Things stayed hectic for a while after that. Niall was away doing promo all over the world, pushing himself so hard I was starting to worry that he might collapse if he didn't start slowing down soon. He was happy though. The response to Slow Hands had been amazing and his fans were constantly harassing him to release On The Loose, another song he'd been performing at radio shows. They even started tweeting at me suggesting I steal a copy and release it to them for him. I obviously did not do that, but it made both of us laugh that they were so excited and desperate to hear more music from him.

All the excitement and build up paid off when Niall released his tour dates for the fall and all the shows sold out within minutes. I was absolutely bursting with pride and excitement for him and I could tell he was too. I wanted to take him out to dinner, my treat, to celebrate, but the day he got the news the tour was sold out also happened to be my 23rd birthday. July 11th. 

So in typical Niall fashion he would have none of the attention he deserved and turned it all back on me, treating me like an absolute princess.  He wouldn't even let me congratulate him with a celebratory blowjob after he'd finished pleasuring me, insisting that we'd be late to meet my dad for brunch and claiming that he wouldn't be able to look my dad in the eye if we showed up late because I'd “just had his dick in my mouth”.

After a lot of pouting on my part, I relented with promises to make it up to him that night and we headed out to meet my dad.

-

“So how's the wedding planning coming along?” My dad asked as we sipped our mimosas later that morning. “Think you'll get it all done in three months?”

“I think so,” I shrugged looking at Niall for confirmation. “We don't need to worry about a venue, Niall booked a caterer, I've asked a friend from uni to be our photographer, the decorating shouldn't be too hard. The biggest things left to do are find someone to officiate and picking my dress.”

“Sounds like you've got it all under control,” My dad grinned. “But I've been meaning to talk to you about the dress picking. Are you going to invite your Aunt Linda and cousin Trina?”

I scrunched up my face in displeasure as soon as my dad mentioned their names earning a chuckle from Niall who knew how much I disliked my mum's sister and her daughter.

“I really wasn't planning on it,” I admitted. “They're lucky they even got invitations to the wedding if I'm being honest.”

My dad shot me a disapproving look.

“They're your family, AJ,” He reminded me. “Just as much as Anne, Harry and Gemma are.”

“But they're not really. They've never been there for me, I don't even think they've met Niall,” I argued as Niall shook his head in agreement with me. “Mum and Linda never got along and she never had any interest in my life and Trina is just unbearable. She's such a spoiled brat, she'll make the whole thing about her.”

“She can't make your dress fitting about her, there's no way for that to happen. She won't know anyone else who's there, they won't pay her any attention,” My dad assured me. “But I really think you should invite them. Weddings are more about family politics than you actually celebrating your love. Your aunt will throw a fit if she's not included and that'll set your grandparents off and I'll never hear the end of it.”

“Oh so my dress fitting is actually all about you?” I teased causing my dad to chuckle and shake his head.

“No, AJ, it's definitely about you,” He insisted. “I would just appreciate if it didn't make my life a nightmare with rants from your grandmother about how I tore you away from them after your mum died.”

I rolled my eyes, knowing this had been an issue for the last six years. My grandmother had been so irrationally worried that I would drift away from them when my mum passed away that she acted like my dad's family was trying to steal me from them whenever I spent time with his family. They kept tabs on exactly how much time I spent with each side of my family and would give my dad grief whenever they felt they weren't getting enough of my attention despite the fact that I'm an adult and he has very little control over who I spent my time with these days.

“Fine, I'll invite them,” I relented. “But I'm only doing it for you so you owe me one.”

“Thanks, sweetheart,” My dad smiled. “I appreciate it.”

-

The rest of the brunch went well and then we spent the day wandering around London, enjoying the sights. Anne was in town as well to attend the Dunkirk premier with Harry in a few days so later that evening they came over to join us for dinner. Niall had recently purchased a new barbecue and was eager to try it out so he happily agreed to cook for everyone.

“So Auntie Anne, Niall's going away next weekend to Ibiza for his bachelor party, just to get it out of the way before his tour starts so I've decided to tie in my bachelorette party with the dress fitting. After we spend the day picking out my dress, we’re going to go out for drinks with the rest of my bridesmaids,” I explained to my aunt as I chatted with her and Harry in the living room, watching my father and Niall bond over the grill on our back patio. “You're welcome to join us for that part of the day too if you'd like to.” 

“I'd like to join you!” Harry piped up, a smirk on his face.

“You're welcome to if you'd like,” I shrugged. “But Niall said you couldn't go to Ibiza so I figured you were busy with your Dunkirk stuff.”

“Can't go to Ibiza 'cause it's a whole big trip, this is jus' one night,” Harry pointed out. “I leave for France the next day, but I can come for a drink or two.”

“Alright, that'll be great.”

“Besides,” Harry continued. “M'protesting Ibiza 'cause Niall hasn't even asked me to be his best man yet.”

I raised an eyebrow.

“He's not going to ask you, he already asked his brother.”

“Whaddya mean 's'not going to'?” Harry frowned. “He doesn't even like his brother.”

I shrugged and took a sip of my wine.

“I know, but I was recently informed that weddings are more about family politics than Niall and I being in love so some things just have to be done.”

“Your dad talked to you about inviting Linda then?” Anne laughed as Harry furrowed his brow in annoyance. I nodded, but before I could elaborate, Harry interrupted.

“Do I get t'be your Maid of Honour then?”

I giggled at the thought, assuming he was joking until I saw the serious look on his face.

“No, Harry, you don't get to be my maid of honour,” I informed him. “I already asked Gemma.”

“S'not fair!” He pouted. “I accepted that my cousin and my best friend started hookin' up without even bein' mad about it and this is the thanks I get?”

My jaw dropped at his claim as Anne laughed at our squabbling.

“Oh please, Harry! You were so mad!”

“Only for a few minutes!” He protested. “Had to get over the shock, didn't I? Not every day yer little cousin shags one of yer closest mates!”

“Harry!” Anne scolded. “Don't be so rude!”

Harry shrugged, sipping his beer and looking all sulky and brooding.

“Just sayin', think I handled the situation pretty well given the circumstances.”

*

After Niall and I had done what we snuck off to my house to do we stayed curled up in my bed for ages. It felt nice and safe, like we were the only two people in the whole wide world. Reality crept back in eventually though when Niall's phone started ringing like mad. He ignored the first few calls, but it quickly became apparent that his disappearance had been noticed. Reluctantly we both crawled out of our safe little space and got dressed.

“Ya don't have to come all the way back over there with me,” Niall assured me, but I shrugged.

“I should probably check on my dad, see if he does want to come home tonight.”

Niall nodded before walking towards my bedroom door, stopping just before he made it all the way there.

“Can I, uh, have yer number?” He asked, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly. “M'staying in town with my family for a few more days and I spend most of my time in London when we're not touring so I'd love t’see ya again.”

“I'd like that too,” I smiled before pulling a shirt over my head and reciting my number to him as he put it in his phone.

-

We walked back to the party in silence, holding hands until we got the gate at the back of the house.

“I'll text ya tomorrow, yeah?” Niall asked quietly as we crossed Harry's backyard.

We weren't necessarily trying to be secretive about what had happened between us, but both of us knew it was a delicate situation and didn't want to bring anymore attention to it than needed.

“I'll look forward to it,” I smiled.

Niall nodded and opened the backdoor before letting me past him and into the house.

“Where have you two been?” A woman I remember him pointing out as his mother asked as soon as we entered the house. “The party's been over for ages, we were about t’go back t’the hotel without ya.”

“S'a small enough town, Ma. I think I could've found me way back by myself,” He shrugged. “We went for a walk to get away from the noise. Got a bit lost, s'all.”

I cringed at his excuse as Anne eyed me suspiciously. As he'd said, it was a small town and having grown up there it was virtually impossible for me to get lost. Over Anne's shoulder I saw Harry's face. He looked absolutely disgusted and once he caught my eye he shook his head and stormed up the stairs. It took a lot to get under Harry's skin, he took a lot in stride, but I'd found a way to really hurt him and I was instantly filled with guilt.

“Well let's get a move on then,” Maura insisted. “Yer dad already left with yer cousins and I think we've well overstayed our welcome.”

Anne rushed to assure them that they were welcome to stay as long as they'd like and walked them to the door, Niall pausing just before he was out of sight to throw me a wave. I smiled and waved back before flopping onto the couch. I debated going up to Harry's room and confronting him right away, but I was tired and he'd been drinking so I figure that was a conversation best left until the morning.

“He's cute,” Anne's voice broke me out of my thoughts a few minutes later. “And he's a very nice boy. I think you two will be good together.”

“It's not like that,” I lied, my cheeks burning with embarrassment.

“Oh honey,” Anne smiled as she sat next to me on the couch. “That hickey on your neck makes it clear exactly what it's like.”

I quickly pulled up the collar of the jumper I'd thrown on in an attempt to hide any marks that might be there.

“Oh god,” I groaned. “Is it obvious? Did everyone see it?”

“Yes and probably,” Anne chuckled. “But you're both adults, no one cares as long as you were safe and smart about it.”

“I care,” I mumbled. “And I think Harry cares. I saw the look on his face when we walked in.”

Anne gave me a sympathetic look and put a comforting hand on my knee.

“Harry can be a sensitive soul some times,” She reminded me. “This is probably a lot for him to wrap his head around right now, but he'll get there. He loves you both very much, if you make each other happy then he'll accept it eventually.”

“And if it was just a one time thing?” I questioned. “I don't even know if he'll actually want to see me again.”

“Between you and me, I don't think Niall is that kind of lad,” She confessed. “But even if he is and he doesn't call you, Harry will still accept it as long as you're adults about it and don't make him choose between the two of you or make things awkward for him.”

“I would never and if Harry does have a problem with it and wants us to stop seeing each other then I'll respect that. I'd never choose a boy over my family.”

“I know you wouldn't, sweetheart,” Anne smiled. “So do you like him? Give me some details!”

I laughed, feeling my cheeks heat up again.

“I do,” I admitted. “We talked for hours, he made me feel so comfortable right away. He actually managed to take my mind off my mum for a while. There's just something about him that made me feel so...happy.”

“I'm so pleased for you, honey. You deserve it, you really do. If Harry tries to interfere, you just let me know and I'll deal with him.”

“Alright,” I said before a yawn fell from my lips. “Where's my dad by the way?”

“He was getting a bit upset so Robin took him down to the pub just so they had a bit more privacy than in a house full of people.”

“Oh, okay,” I sighed, pulling myself up off the couch. “I'll go home then, wait for Robin to drop him off.”

“Robin can take care of him,” Anne assured me. “Stay here tonight, I don't want you walking home alone this late at night.”

I was about to protest, but I suddenly realized how tired I was so with another yawn, I nodded and agreed to stay.

-

The next morning I woke up to the sounds of breakfast being made in the kitchen. I pushed myself up off the couch, stretched and wandered in to see who was up. I was anxious, but somewhat relieved to see Harry standing at the stove flipping pancakes.

“Hey, Haz,” I said quietly, lifting myself up to sit at one of the bar stools by the island in the middle of the room. “Did you have a good night at the party?”

He looked over his shoulder at me before turning back to his cooking without saying a word.

“Alright, I deserve that,” I admitted, feeling the nerves bubble up inside me. “But I didn't mean for anything to happen, Harry, it just did. We started talking and I really liked him. We got along really well and one thing just kind of led to another.”

Harry looked at me again, but still didn't speak. He simply turned off the element he was cooking with and walked towards the door, abandoning his breakfast. I felt awful. I'd messed up big time and there was nothing I could do to fix it.

“Please, Harry, you have to-”

My pleading was interrupted as my phone vibrated on the table. Harry froze in the doorway and spun around.

“Is that him?” He asked, finally breaking the silence. I looked down at the message and nodded. “For fuck's sake, AJ. What were ya thinkin'?!”

I startled slightly at Harry's harsh tone, but it was massively better than the silent treatment he was previously giving me.

“I wasn't,” I admitted. “I just wanted to feel happy for a while and Niall did that for me. He made me smile, he made me feel beautiful. He was a good distraction.”

“So that's all he was to you?” Harry snapped. “A distraction?”

“No, that's not what I meant! I like him, I had a good time. I'm just trying to explain why I didn't have the sense to...”

I hesitated trying to find the words, but Harry found them for me.

“To not fuck my bandmate and one of my best friends?” I felt tears prick my eyes, but nodded my head. “What happens if it all goes wrong, huh? What happens if he breaks your heart and I have to choose between the two of ya?”

“I wouldn't make you choose, Harry,” I insisted. “If it doesn't work out, I won't come between you. I'll stay out of it.”

“Oh, so I just never get to see my cousin then? Can't invite ya to important events? Can't bring ya to shows anymore? Even if ya don't make me choose, it's still the same end result, isn't it? M'still losing one of ya.”

“Then I won't see him again, Harry,” I said quietly. “He's great, but it was one night. It won't kill either of us if that's all it is.”

Harry let out a groan of frustration and I felt like I just couldn't win. Nothing I said seemed to make him any less upset.

“That's not what I want either!” Harry practically yelled. “'Cause yer perfect for each other and I don't know how I didn't see it before. I don't wanna get in the way of that if it's something you want!”

“Then I don't know what you want me to do!” I cried. “I'm sorry. I'm sorry I put you in this position, but I only have two choice now, Haz. I either ignore him and we move on or I answer him and we see where it goes and if both those things will upset you then I don't know what else I can do.”

“I want you to not want to see him again,” Harry said honestly.

“Well that's not something I can do.”

Harry stared at me for a moment before shaking his head, turning on his heels and walking out of the room. I sighed and looked down at my phone, finally reading Niall's very sweet message about what a good time he'd had with me. I was pleased and excited to hear from him, but Harry had put a damper on my spirits in a massive way. Feeling like I should probably warn Niall as he was mostly likely the next person on Harry's hit list, I typed out a reply.

“I had a great time too :) Thanks for making it such a nice evening. Harry's on the warpath this morning though, just wanted to give you a heads up.”

Niall didn't respond to me and moments later I heard Harry's angry voice float down the hall as he shouted into his phone and I realized my warning may have been a tad too late.

*

“You completely over reacted,” I insisted. “You didn't speak to either of us for well over a week. I thought you hated me.”

“Just needed sometime to adjust, s'all,” Harry shrugged, a smirk on his face. “And look at me now, couldn't be happier for that both of ya. Think that earns me a spot in the wedding, no?”

I sighed, ready to once again turn him down, but then I got an idea. I glanced outside, wondering briefly if I should run it by Niall first, but I had said I would take care of it so I figured he wouldn't mind.

“Actually, there is one job we need filling,” I paused for a moment as Harry looked at me expectantly. “We need someone to officiate and I'm having trouble finding someone who's willing to come to the house and do it at such short notice. If you get ordained online, it's pretty cheap and totally legitimate so if you do that then maybe you could do it?”

“Seriously?” Harry asked, his face lighting up at the thought. “It'd be an honour!”

“Perfect,” I smiled, pleased I could make him happy and check another task off the list. “Just wear a normal suit, alright? Nothing floral or attention stealing.”

“I won't, promise,” Harry beamed, pushing himself up from the floor where he was sitting. “Gonna go tell Nialler the good news.”

He dashed out of the room before I could even blink and Anne laughed, shaking her head.

“That was very nice of you, AJ. I'm sure it means a lot to him.”

“Well he was kinda right about deserving to be in the wedding after putting up with what we did,” I admitted. “And I'm sure he'll do an amazing job.”

“Of course he will,” Anne agreed as we looked outside just in time to see Niall laugh and pull Harry into a hug. “He'd do anything for both you, he won't let you down.”

[maddensfilm]

finally liveblogging shadowhunters for the first time in forever spoilers ahead so a contemplation of all my thoughts my dear friends, ignore my abbreviations or spelling mistakes, as you understand i'm to busy with this episode -i knew that iron sister was sketch from the very beginning -mALEC PORTALLING IM SHOOK AF CASUALLY TALKS ABOUT GOING TO TOKYO -jace i will beat you with a stick mOVE OUT -o fuck yes o fuck yes magnus playing the jams to drown out sex noises for the comfort of his bae -please no clary-simon-maia love triangle, please no cheating i'll cry-maia doesn't deserve that -all for clary bein a supportive bff to my darling simon -O FUCK MAKING OUT YES IM SO -magnus is always touching his lip after they kiss im dying help me -alec cockblocking i'm can't stop laughing, the sass. revenge is best served in throwing shirts -the slow beginning of the clalec friendship yes please -izzy i love you but wtf ?? -twelve minutes in and i'm still shook -who is that girl that's now everywhere ? what is her name-give me a story -we're back o yes longest commercial of my life -maia-magnus friendship im crying yes ye s y e s -ALEC BEIN THE ONLY ONE WHO GAVE MAGNUS A GIFT IN A LONG TIME -yo magnus is about to bust izzys ass o heck -O SHIT HERE WE GO STOP HER MAGS -izzy you're literally poising yourself stop -JEM JEM JEM JEM J E M -yes simon my awkward son ily -okay someone come get izzy and rid her of fucking yin fen -BITCH WTF IZZY IS OUT OF C O N T R O L she's scaring me -okay bye bye honey die on luke's floor -more and more ads bye -can you believe that in a mere 25 minutes-malec made out, went on a date, alec sassed jace, clary and alec could handle each other, magnus caught izzy tryna get yin fen, maia existed, and so did simon -clumsy simon ily -uh jace is annoying me rn but i understand why he's acting the way he is (but that's no fucking excuse he's bein a dick sorry goodbye) -clary listen to luke tf -o wait she knew i take that back -clary stg don't undermine luke i can see this coming -help i still lowkey ship saphael but that's irrelevant rn -alec see through her shit -here comes the qUESTION -izzy is me (guys btw he's in his twenties it's his decision but i don't think it'll happen) -validation i love it -good advice izzy now fix your act please i don't need to go through this again -clary i will hit you wtf wtf wtf YOU LISTEN TO LUKE NOT TASER HIM TF -okay but malec kisses please ? we only have 23 minutes -not to be all basic but i'm just so blessed we have lgbt representation in a healthy relationship -simon don't take jaces stupid advice -no maia no don't leave come back -HOLY FUCK I WAS NOT EXPECTING THAT -STRAIGHT THROUGH THE DOOR AND BAM! LIPS -O SHIT RESPONSIBLE AND WORRIED MAGNUS -i might start crying the reassurance "YOU WONT LOSE ME" IM DEAD IM DEAD IM DEAD SOMEONE PLEASE HELP HELP H E L P -okay not cool straight to my dear jace when he ain't in the house HES STILL THERE -why does the angel sound like he's on steroids tho -cleo who tf made u exist -o shit what valentine captured an angel? how? does? this? work? -but the question is, did they do it? or did they not? I DONT CARE ABOUT NEW FREEFORM SHOWS OR CARS I CARE ABOUT MY BABIES -i don't believe a single thing coming out this girls mouth, you won't turn yourself in honey -izzy n o -maia isn't in here to get hurt, she's here to be a pal im so, ygg you don't need no man -how did i know-O SHIT I DIDNT BYE -6 minutes left and they're wasting it on cOMMERCIALS??? -where is magnus? where is alec? yes clary, luke, cleo, jace and valentine fight scene is important but I NEED TO KNOW WHATS HAPPENING -i've typed so much this is so long i'm so sorry if anyone is actually reading -stop the ads 2k17 -3 m i n u t e s STOP WASTING MY TIME -here's our bff the angel no one knew about, what u doin fam -o heck valentine-luke feud wow -who...? -what...? -okay promo tHEY HAD SEX, MARYSE TRYNA KILL JACE, ***ALEC ON THE EDGE OF A BUILDING!!!!!!!*** -that was awful now we wait 7 more days wtf

[omgnsfwisnsfw-blog]

NSFW #02: For Fun!

“Say Hey, EWC Faithful! We’re here with you at the lovely Crystal campground in the majestic Ouachita National Forest in Arkansas.” “We’re going camping, and you’re going to watch.” Indeed, NSFW was camping. A large two person tent was set up and just visible to the left, and framed right in the center of the shot were Bishop Church and Mike McGuire, sitting across from one another beside a large, cheerily crackling campfire. The evidence of their dinner sits atop a small cooler: hot dogs, tofu dogs, stadium mustard, ketchup, buns. Chocolate and marshmallows for s’mores. The night sky is star-flecked through the towering trees, and in the background are the sounds of rustling leaves and the babble of a nearby but unseen creek. It was a good campsite. This had been a good trip so far in general, marked by a good beginning: a Fourth of July party held at the magnificent estate of their good friend (and as far as they were concerned, the heir apparent to the EWC Undisputed Championship) Natalie Young. There had been a moment that, while perhaps not exactly pleasant, had lent some serious emotional gravity between the three of them, and though the unpleasantness had dissipated, the strengthened bond hadn’t. After the evening’s festivities they’d been wished a safe trip and, much to Mike’s delight, she got a kiss goodbye that’d set her in an outright giggly mood for hours afterward. Mike pulled a speared marshmallow away from the fire, sandwiching it between two graham crackers with a piece of Hershey bar before taking a bite. Bishop held a small assortment of notecards, and Mike had some of her own sitting on the log beside her. “As you can see, our efforts to save some cash on this cross-country roadtrip we’re doing have gone critical mass. We are Now Sleeping in the Fucking Woods. But since we’re camping… you wanna hear a scary story?” She leaned forward, her face illuminated by the flames in an eerie manner. “This is a story of a man. A man who surrounded himself with people he called his friends. But little did he know that these people were not what they seemed. They were… FUUUUUCKING HYYYPOCRIIIIIIIIITES.” Raising her arms up, she wiggled her fingers to convey spookiness. “Our story begins on a most jingoistic of evenings and our hero had just introduced a most marvelous of notions. He would captain a squad of five like individuals. They would bring forth a new era.” John looked down at the first card in his hand and read it aloud: “This is not a Revolution. We are not taking some grand stance against corruption or apathy or any other "cause". This is not about The Future. This is about right now. This is about bringing some fun back to the EWC. Too many competitors are wound up tighter than the blunts Smokey Jones rolls.” He tossed the first card into the fire. “Only it turns out, this little newly formed group of ragtag misfits, Freaks and Geeks, if’n you will, has a really fuckin’ interesting idea on what constitutes ‘fun’. And just to prove that we ain’t just spinnin’ this tale out of our asses, we did our homework. And we took fuckin’ notes. Let’s start with everybody’s favorite stoner, shall we? Smokey Fuckin’ Jones.” She brushed the graham cracker crumbs off her hands and picked up the first card off her small stack. “James Larson, you carry all the tools for success, but have done nothing more than play games with the likes of it. I say, you sacrifice yourself one last time. Sacrifice yourself to me in the middle of the ring and lie down on the mat for the three count and I will take you back to the top of your game.” She looked at the camera with a slightly tilted head, lips twisting into an inquisitive frown. “Let me preface this with saying I don’t mind a bit of the wacky tobaccy now and then. But I, no sane person, really, goes off and demands human fuckin’ sacrifice or whatever in the name of legalizing it.” Following her partner’s lead, she pitched the card into the fire before picking the next one up, holding onto it for the time being. “Now. I don’t think Cletus literally means human sacrifice. But in nearly every one of his bouts, he has made the ultimatum that if you don’t join him in The Promised Land, he’ll make sure you regret it.” “Y’know, for fun!” “Anyway, I’ve already spoken at length about Orianna Johnson. She is spry and cheery. She is only eighteen-years-old. Look at the jubilation she expresses in her every word. Happy statements to Lavender like:” Next card. “You’re about as sharp as the leading edge of a bowling ball aren’t you?” “Which is funny considering just weeks prior she stated:” "With the admiration of many, you've gained mine as well, and my respect, Lavender. You'll never hear me bragging about how I can go out in the sunlight and not be afraid. I won't rub that in your face like others have. You may not realize it, but you've won far more in life than your win/loss record in the ring says.” Whoosh. Into the flames. “A little condescending. We all have some quotient of snark these days. But Mike, there’s just something strange about this.” “You’re right, partner. I mean, I’ve seen that promo and rewatched it a couple fuckin’ times because it was so goddamn weird. She says somethin’ about the well deserved admiration of the people or some shit like that, and then, boom. She’s talking about something else out of the blue, in a different position than she was a second ago.” “Maybe she flubbed. When we started this whole ordeal, I certainly didn’t feel comfortable with all of this. Still makes me tense but I can deal with it. But yes, maybe it’s a promo cut together with the best takes. Or maybe…” “...given Little Miss Teen EWC’s track record on talking shit, she said something so fuckin’ untoward that even she couldn’t leave it in. Cuz if she did? Everybody’d know just what an ugly, rotten, two-faced little snake that girl is. And we can’t have that. She’s just a CHILD, right? Kids will be kids.” “Youth isn’t an excuse for being needlessly cruel. Although, this is just speculation. But we’ve got plenty of tape of how she views those of a lower station than her. Orianna Johnson: Dehumanizing others by referring to them as ‘it’ and the destruction and theft of private property.” “Y’know, for fun!” She looked down at the card she’d picked up, pursing her lips a bit. “Now, this one seems like a breath of fresh fuckin’ air, especially comin’ after the lovely Miss Johnson. Steve Barnes. Superhero. Would be fuckin’ bully killer. I quote.” “I am sick and tired of men like you in this business. They are everywhere, thinking they can do whatever they want, to whoever they want, whenever they want. Today that stops. Men like you are nothing more than schoolyard bullies; and I hate bullies. So, from now on, wherever there are men like you, I will be there. You want to keep coming at people like you just did, I will be there to stop you. My name is Steve Barnes...and I AM IRON MAN!” “Nice words. Would be an admirable cause. Problem is? You really really suck at it. Let’s look at the night you said all this. Sure, you came out, beat up on Collateral Damage, and why wouldn’t you? Beating up Draco Lazarus is fucking fun. There are few faces as outright begging to be punched as his. But where the heck were you when Az was getting shredded by a bunch of masked fuckers? I don’t recall Tony Motherfucking Stark bein’ all selective about his superheroism. Matter of fact…” She winged the card into the fire Frisbee-style and folded her arms, smirking a little in spite of herself. “...we’re doing a better job than you. Not that we’re out looking to be the Avengers, heh, the Guardians actually suit us way better if we’d even want to go that route. But how many instances of fucking shenanigans have Draco and his cronies tried to pull lately? And who’s usually there to beat his ass? Here’s a hint: NOT YOU.” “You certainly had your chance last Monday. Twice. You had a chance to make another grand statement. Instead you opted to say nothing whatsoever. When Mucho Grande! were the victims of another assault from Collateral Damage, where were you, Iron Man? If you’re going to virtue signal, at least live up to it.” “So much for having no cause except for ZOMGOD FUN, huh?” She paused. “Hey Church. You got one more card there. That who I think it is?” “Yes.” John tapped his last index card against the palm of his hand. “A familiar adversary. Kendrick Kross. Mr. Lutter’s tag team partner in our upcoming encounter. Two men who prior to this alliance were embroiled in a heated contest. But now there are no agendas and it’s all about entertainment. What does Kross really think about that?” “I truly have a love and respect for Nostalgia, he is someone that I can call a friend, he has his faults just as everyone else, one of them is having to please his followers, the Sentimentalists...what is the point in that? Why should you fight and please the Sentimentalists when all that you should want and need to do is fight to please yourself, that’s one of his faults that will get him in trouble one day, and that day will be at Scars and Stripes.” John’s hands are now empty as the last card joined the rest. “His plans were put on ice that evening.” “Yeah, unfortunately, Cherry Garcia decided to give him the fuckin’ cold shoulder.” They glanced at each other for just a moment, giving simultaneous slight snickers at each other’s dreadful puns. “But it makes me think, Mike, our cool friend essentially said that he does this for himself. That his leader’s selflessness will cost him one day. When do you think that will happen? Maybe in Oakland?” Mike nodded grimly. “Yeah, I mean, calling your tag team partner naive and prone to fuckin’ backstabbing don’t exactly harbor an atmosphere of trust, and as we can tell you, if you don’t have trust in a tag team, you’re fucked with a capital F. U. But I guess in your book, maybe if he’s that gullible, he deserves it, right?” “Although, if I were Mr. Lutter, I wouldn’t take much of what Kross says at face value. I happen to remember that his evaluation of me was of little worth. He has the habit of deriding every individual he comes across with backhanded compliments that culminate in him trying to run them out of the business. Friend or foe.” “Condensation and backstabbing. Y’know, for fun!” Silence except the crackle of the flames. John raised a finger in the air as if to correct her but then he withdrew and nodded in agreement. “You know, you’re right. He would technically do that as he defrosted.” Mike blinked, and then broke into wild cackles, falling backwards off the log she was sitting on. “Ooof. I’m okay.” Picking herself up, she sits back down, brushes herself off, and clears her throat. “Anyways. You may notice by now that we are fresh outta notecards. That’s because, well, we ain’t got nothin’ bad to say about Nostalgia. He ain’t a hypocrite, far’s we’ve been able to see: he’s the only one in this whole bunch who actually believes in his own fuckin’ mission statement. You’re a good dude, Nos. You’re a lot of fun, and you’re real fuckin’ talented. But when we got your manager out of a spot, and you asked us to join your group? We said we’d get back to you… an’ now we’ve got our answer.” “No. Not because of you. I like you. Mike likes you. You’ve been nothing but kind to us. You’ve said complimentary things about us. Here’s the thing. If we joined you, we’d be quoting ourselves all through the night.” “We’re just not like you. We don’t fuckin’ fit in your box or anyone’s. Do we like to have fun? Fuck yeah we do. But unlike what you said you guys are about? We DO stand for something. We’ve said it all this time, and if you missed it you haven’t been fuckin’ paying attention. Nuh-uh. We’re not freaks, or geeks. We’re us, and ain’t nobody like us.” She paused a moment, a dreamy little smile flicking over her face. “Cept for maybe Miss Natalie. She’s so fuckin’ cool, and strong, and smart, and she’s got the prettiest fuckin’ eyes, and it was so awesome of her to invite us over for the Fourth for that party…” “I enjoyed Natalie’s pie.” Mike sat up, suddenly looking slightly irked. “Hey, I thought you liked MY pie best! I mean, you ate a bunch of it before we left the house. Eh, on the other hand, maybe it wasn’t that great after eight hours in the car.” John looked directly at the camera. His words would be followed by thousands of fingers clacking away at their keyboards. “You both had me licking the plate clean.” Mike’s hand flew to her mouth, perhaps stifling a snicker, and her emerald eyes glinted merrily in the firelight. “Anyway. Don’t take what we do to you personal, Nos, but take this right now as a warning that we’re givin’ you as friends. I’d keep an eye on the company you keep. They may be playin’ along with you just long enough to swipe something you have that they fuckin’ want.” “Storytime is over.” John stood up from the log. “Coming up, Freaks and Geeks makes their official debut in the tag team division against us. Mike, lots of folks around here like history. NSFW stands before you and well, we don’t have a shot at the tag team gold. You train and train in the hopes of reaching the top and sometimes it just doesn’t happen no matter how much you wanted it to. Tell them, Mike, what does NSFW do when we just fall short?” “We pick ourselves up, fuckin’ reload, study up, and do better next time. We don’t run to the back and sob like little eighteen year old girls. So we’re not number one contenders right now. We will be. We said we’re gonna be fuckin’ Tag Team Champions, and we stand by that, no matter how many times we gotta start over. And you guys’ll be as good a handhold in our climb back up the mountain as any.” “And believe me, we aren’t marginalizing you two. Champions. Main eventers. Bonafide megastars. And here we are: the upstarts. That’s the nature of this business. Not fun. Notsports entertainment. Ask the Madison brothers what sports entertainment has ever done for them.” Mike got to her feet as well, standing with her arms folded at her partner’s right hand.“That’s where fun gets you when you don’t stand for shit. Goofing around, smoking a bowl, and lighting farts on fire. Is that what you really fuckin’ want, Nos? Is that all you want out of this business? It’s clearly not or you wouldn’t have fuckin’ main evented the year’s biggest goddamn show.” “That goes for them all. Kendrick Kross said because I didn’t know why I was here that I’d wash out. You know what? You were right. But as I stand before you with my partner, you’rewrong.” John put an arm around Mike’s shoulders. His hand hesitated for just a moment before he rested it on her bare shoulder. “NSFW. That’s what matters. That’s our cause.” “We believe in us. And not just us. We believe in our friends. We believe in every fuckin’ person out there who takes those four letters to mean somethin’ besides ‘Not Safe For Work’. We fuckin’ stand by that and nothin’s gonna budge or break us. Can you Freaks and Geeks say the same? I don’t fuckin’ think you can. It’s right there in your motto. You don’t stand for nothin’ but fun, and we already pointed out where that fuckin’ leads.” There’s a pause then, almost if Mike was very reluctant to pull away. But she did (though she was almost too slow about it) and strode over to the tripod-mounted phone, bending down, almost staring right through it at the people she was addressing. “See you in Oakland. I hope for your sakes you find a better fucking conviction than ‘FOR FUN’ before then.” The camera clicked off. After that, John and Mike set to tidying up the campsite- dousing the fire with water from the creek and stirring up the ashes, putting the food away in the cooler and out of the reach of hungry, mischievous raccoons, throwing their garbage into a sealed trash can not far from their campsite. All that done, they tucked into their tent for the night. It was one of those comfortable silences, little sound but the chirp of insects and soft rushing of the creek, the tent illuminated by the dim light of John’s Kindle as he finished the chapter of The Natural he’d been in the middle of. Mike smiled. He’d really gotten the hang of using it, just as they knew he would. They could only imagine the size of his digital library. Their voice softly broke the silence. “Hey, Church. I’m glad we did this.” John clicked off his book for now. “Me too.” Perhaps a struggle, John rewinded past everything, through all of the ugliness and told them: “Used to go camping all the time. In better days.” “We can keep doing it, you know. If you want. I kinda like it better than seeing the same fuckin’ hotel room insides every night.” Mike propped their cheek in one hand, and as if realizing they forgot to take it off, removed their hat, setting it beside their pillow. “If you liked it before, I wanna give it back to you.” “Maybe it isn’t necessary.” John’s back was to them. He nestled his head into the pillow. His tone was drowsy. “Mike. I don’t know how to put this but I feel like I’ve come back to life. And all of this, this can be what I like now.” “Yeah… I can see what you mean.” They closed their eyes. There was something dancing on the tip of their tongue, but it was colliding and conflicting with other things, growing affections, even. Things they felt. Things they wanted to say. It was unlike them and they found it frustrating, stewing on their words this way, but they were unable to just spit it out. It tied itself in knots, rearranged itself, and finally came out in something both completely different and exactly the same as what they’d originally had in mind. “John? You… know I’d never hurt you ever, right? I’d drop fucking dead first.” Silence. “...Church?” No sound but a soft, easy, contented cadence of breathing. They smiled, shook their head, and bedded down as well. Maybe it was for the best. “G’night, buddy.”

[kevoreally]

#BuffyAt20 - S03E04 “Beauty and the Beasts”

This is specifically is an episode I do not like, which I think is understandable. But it was trying to do something brave, and I respect that. Season 3, Episode 4, “Beauty and the Beasts.”

> Gonna be upfront: I don’t love this episode for a couple of different reasons. But at least it's not “Inca Mummy Girl.”

> Also worth noting: Hulu lists this episode as "The Beauty and the Beasts." Which. NO. Also: Beauty And The Beast was one of my favorite Disney Renaissance films. Okay. Now go.

> All of the “Call of the Wild” stuff felt very pertinent to my life at the time, because we were covering it in English then.

> Xander’s pants are way too red to be believed.

> “Aren’t we reading the Cliff’s Notes for this in English?” Psh, Xander, if you were a real slacker, you wouldn’t be reading anything at all. 😎

> That leather-bound edition of “Call” is intense. Clearly not school-issued.

> Xander’s arms look great in this scene. 😍

> “Half? Which half?” Does Xander think they went pantsless first?

> Xander immediately lying down after Willow leaves is supremely unfunny. Can’t you create conflict without making these demon-fighters behave irresponsibly?

> “Smooch spot.” Edgy lingo. Love it.

> Eliza’s still working through that Southie accent.

> Oh wow, I really love Buffy and Faith being WAY more friendly this episode.

> “All men are beasts, Buffy.” Classic.

> “I was hoping not to get that cynical until I was at least 40.” That’s only a year-plus away! WHAT! 😯

> Faith isn’t wrong, though. I mean, they’re not all JUST in it for the chase. But yeah. Men are messed up, yo.

> Gosh, it was such a pleasure to watch this show evolve live. This was such a different era of television production. Not to knock the one we’re in now, it’s great in a different way. But pre-streaming feels like a wild trip now.

> Ooh, there’s a really great shot of the awning opposite the courtyard fountain that we don’t normally see. It’s clearest in “Graduation Day” when the cavalry arrives. I do love this set.

> Unf, I had the biggest crush on John Patrick White as a kid. AJ’s Time Travelers. Tassel Guy from Can’t Hardly Wait. (He’s a lawyer now!)

> “He’s just bein’ Oz.” “Pretty much full-time.” Hero. 🤩

> “Are we up to flowers?” Hasn’t it been, like, one week? Barely longer, if at all? What is with these kids?

> “Jeff? He was - I knew him.” Seriously, Oz is so underrated, I can’t stop gushing about him. Couldn’t Willow still have been a lesbian even if we kept Oz?

> Xander is like a TGIF Sitcom Character on this horror dramedy sometimes. Like, he has no place here.

> “I rested my eyes now and then.” You LITERALLY CLIMBED ON THE TABLE and used Willow’s book AS A PILLOW, you LITTLE LIAR.

> “When I…” “WOKE UP??” I used to think Giles was a little too harsh here. Not 20 years later.

> I don’t see how they could’ve ever thought it was Oz, though. He went out, had a snack, and came back to his cage? Unlikely.

> It’s Mr. Moseby!! I’ve always loved this actor. Especially as Chandler’s boss on Friends. (And now he won’t stop saying the word “friends,” haha.)

> This guy would’ve been a great recurring character for Buffy to interact with. Way better than a murder victim.

> “Everybody has demons, right?” “Gotta say, I’m with you on that.” Oh, okay. 🤭

> Like, I get the metaphor they were always going for with Angel, him “changing” and all that, but he literally did lose his actual soul.

> “Oz ate someone last night.” Welcome to Cordelia Shouldn’t Speak Theater. Never been more grateful for Lydia Martin.

> This shot of the Scooby Gang sitting on the Library steps was used in a lot of promo stuff.

> “What, you’re having a Slayer watch me? Oh, good, we’re not overreacting.” Dude, I know you’re upset, but they literally just said she’s the only person available.

> “Get away from me.” Oz, you’re being such a dramatic little pupper.

> I love the implication that Angel has been running naked and feral around the woods for as long as Buffy has been dating Scott.

> OH, HE FOUND PANTS, DID HE? 🤣🤣🤣

> Is Willow examining a maued corpse when she’s probably not yet 18 funny or horrifying? Maybe both. They are all portrayed as horrified. So there’s that.

> “Let me just get a few stray hairs from the body, they could be from the attacker.” And - what will you do with them, Willow?

> Haaa, I love Buffy tossing Drusilla’s dolls aside.

> The giant ash outline of Angel on the floor is deeply silly.

> I mean, it’s kind of irresponsible that Faith was listening to music so loud that Buffy snuck up on her. But. I also get wanting to drown out the wolf? And she did react very quickly, so, she was fine.

> Buffy romanticized the idea of staying up all night for me.

> Buffy ALSO FELL ASLEEP on watch, but no one is screaming at her, just saying. Sidenote: why isn’t Giles pulling more shifts as the adult? (Reasonably also the only one with a job.)

> Pretending she dreamt Angel came back was a pretty clever way to talk about it, what with her prophetic dreams and all.

> “There’s no record of anyone returning from a demon dimension” - that feels like a lie, we just saw Buffy do it for one thing.

> "In my experience, there are two types of monster. The first can be redeemed or, more importantly, wants to be redeemed." "And the second type?" "The second is void of humanity. Cannot respond to reason... or love."

> Willow, if you were actively awake, why wouldn’t you come help keep watch? These kids, I swear…

> There’s a recurring musical motif in this episode that will later be used in “Amends,” FYI, and I am loving it.

> Omigod, I know this is bad to say because of the episode’s plot, but Scott’s friends are kind of terrible. Debbie is rude and Pete makes an ugly gay joke. Forget these kids.

> “Actually, I think he makes his own drums.” Heh.

> Scott is a weirdly sweet and attentive boyfriend. Buffy actually does sort of push him away. (I know, who am I to talk? 🤣🤭)

> “Check out Scotty, liking the manic-depressive chick.” Were we EVER supposed to root for Pete??

> WHOA, Angel lashing out at Buffy actually did jump-scare me, lol.

> “So you’ll be late but happy.” I really doubt whatever you’re delaying this girl for would be satisfying, Pete, even if it wasn’t hardcore abuse.

> So, Pete kept his Jekyll-and-Hyde serum in a janitor’s closet? What?

> This scene where Buffy goes to Platt is really beautifully acted but, like. What did Buffy think this man could do for her? And then he’s dead. Sigh.

> “You know how you get.” These kids sort of talk like they’re in the 50s.

> Ugh, this scene is so uncomfortable, because you could lift out the supernatural stuff and it could still play 100% the same on a regular drama. Like, too real.

> We weren’t ever supposed to feel like Pete was a good guy and that this was something being done to him, right? Like, he’s 0% victim.  

> Fun fact that I just learned: thanks to Daylight Savings, the only time of year when sunset can really be at 5:30pm is end of January / beginning of February.

> “They used to mess around.” “They were screwing?” “...I don’t think so.” Faith was too real for these kids.

> As the Scoobs dole out assignments, I find myself wondering, where are Xander and Cordelia? And I go on to wonder, if it’s maybe best that they aren’t around. Sigh.

> Buffy is way too aggressive on an abuse victim. It’s pretty fair for Willow to say they “broke her.” Kind of insensitive language tho, lol.

> This episode had a special message attached to it, right? It must have.

> I love how completely unconcerned Oz is for his safety when it comes to Pete. He knows his wolf can easily take this dude, even when he transforms.

> “Did you kiss that whore? Did she like it?” Goodness gracious.

> “Time’s up, rules change” is a little dramatic but whatever. Seth Green sells it.

> “Oh, right, bloody priceless.” Classic Giles.

> Buffy just wailing on this aggro abusive boyfriend is hella cathartic atm.

> I think Willow and Faith have better potential as friends than Willow and Cordelia, seriously.

> Okay, I try to support Buffy’s fashion decisions, but sometimes - like when she’s jumping from a roof - the heels are a little bit not great.

> I do not love that Angel is the one to get Pete. Like, on a couple of levels? I get that it couldn’t have been Buffy. But Pete had to die if Debbie did. Ugh. Just an awkward episode.

> This vampire-to-human transition shot of Angel got used in a lot of stuff.

> Hmm. I’m going to be doing some deep examining of how I feel about the Buffy/Angel relationship this year, I think.

> Someone thought it only took two eight iced cafe mochas to make Pete a murderer? That’s some strange understanding of caffeine.

> This is a lot of expo-logue (exposition dialogue) to cap off the episode.

> “Great, now I’m going to be stuck with serious thoughts all day.” Cordelia is literally Amber from Clueless. That’s such a weird archetype to include in this show, and make such a major character. And then pivot into what she becomes on Angel! Oy.

> Dude, poor Scott Hope. I’m pretty hard on him most of the time, but his friends’ deaths would’ve hella messed him up, no wonder he dumped his super-secretive girlfriend. (But he spread rumors about her so Faith doing that about him is fair game.)

> There’s a lot less “Call of the Wild” in this episode than I remember there being 20 years ago, lol.

> Okay, parts of that weren’t as bad as I usually remember. It’s definitely very real, which makes a lot of sense from the co-creator of #Unreal. Marti Noxon does not shy away from hard topics. Respect.

One more left!