#Whenever I see it I have to watch it ten million times

[mossflower]

who up ignoring the crazy visions of them in la

[rxzennia]

selfish atonement

– requested. 

✎𓂃 executing your duty perfectly, until it’s not so heavy anymore. less romance, a lot of lore. mandatory shoutout to @st4rrth0ughts and their bodyguard reader & oc. i really searched up oswaldo for this pls enjoy (i tried to cook but i might’ve burnt it y'all)

ever since oswaldo’s expedition on aeragan-epharshel, you’ve become certain of one thing – he is a brilliant businessman; the epitome of a profitable business. regardless of the mostly negative emotions you felt while you undertook missions under his orders, you could at least admit that he brought unparalleled results to the ipc. 

but, well, it does not take a good man to make a good businessman.

this marks the third amber era after your departure from the marketing development department… no, your departure from the ipc as a whole. you’ve changed your name, got yourself a new appearance, and distanced yourself from oswaldo’s name.

you’ve since become a sellsword who answers only to your current client

you’ve chosen to not have your loyalty freely auctioned off to the wealthy precisely because of your history with oswaldo

aka, you’re done with the type of problems that can be solved with money, and you don’t want to be someone that can be easily bought with money, either

not in the sense that money won’t make you more likely to take a job, but in the sense that money won’t bribe you away from any ongoing duties

that’s enough about you and your standards

in any case, your history with the ipc (that you’ve manipulated a little) has been very helpful in landing you jobs

and at this point, you’ve got a nice word of mouth going on for you that you don’t need to bring up that history anymore

who would’ve thought that you’d end up in the ipc again?

this time as a temporary guard for one of the ten stonehearts

you don’t know what possessed someone like diamond to ask for you, because you’re pretty sure he knows about your previous involvement with the ipc

and also, what the fuck does the ten stonehearts need a bodyguard for?

you’d pay a million credits to bet that diamond just wanted someone to be surveillance

but hey, a client is a client, so you agree to meet the one you’re supposedly “protecting”

you walk into the room, and immediately you want to walk out. diamond is doing this on purpose, he’s gotta be, he’s got to have done a background check on you and still decided to choose violence.

you come face to face with aventurine, and you thank all the aeons out there that you’ve made the decision to wear a mask whenever you’re out. you don’t know if diamond had briefed him on you or not, but judging by how warily civil he is, it doesn’t seem so. 

just so we’re clear, you were far too green to be directly involved when oswaldo launched his sigonia-iv project. while you did tag along on these trips and treaty signings, you have no personal involvement there except standing there like a statue and watching your superiors hammer out a treaty or something. unlike in aeragan-epharshel. where you were one of the combat pilots. oh, that’s another can of worms altogether.

at least he can’t see your expression right now as you shake hands

at least he doesn't hear your erratically beating heart

you introduce yourselves, and you bow out of habit

impression points +100 (your starting score is -10000)

that’s basically how you ended up involved with the ipc again

ugh, you just can’t leave them in the past, can you?

although, in your defense, they’re everywhere, and you can’t possibly turn down a job with such luxurious pay

so, now, instead of the marketing development department, you’re in the strategic investment department. diamond is also a good businessman, but… the ten stonehearts have such a weird dynamic. they’re all tangled together with office politics, yet share one authority figure that they ultimately obey – something you haven’t bothered to think about when you were last in the ipc. and something you won’t bother thinking about, because the mere thought of corporate makes you want to dig yourself into a hole.

in any case, your constant meddling in aventurine’s daily affairs begins today. he’s quite a guarded man, and you have no idea what diamond wants you to do by putting you next to him practically 24/7, but oh well, you’re getting paid.

you settle into a routine surprisingly quickly, and he doesn’t seem to mind your presence all that much

alarmed? yes. mildly annoyed that diamond put a walking tracker on him? also yes. 

dislike your presence? kinda (not really). 

at least he knows you won’t betray him for as long as your contract is in effect

even if you answer directly to diamond, you were tasked to watch over him

which means that you will execute your assigned duty to guard him and strictly only that duty

(truly, your reputation precedes you)

but what is worrying is how swiftly you can change sides the moment your contract expires

well, a problem for tomorrow. diamond’s got you leashed for a year.

he does run a background check on you himself

not that he doesn’t trust that diamond hadn’t vetted you, he just wants to know what sort of person he is now stuck with

guess who found out your name is probably fake but can’t find your real name

because he could only trace your name so far, and anything beyond that point is blank

the discoveries will shock you!! top 10 most scary facts you didn’t know 

all he got was a full report from your first job to this one

anything about your past before your current alias is completely untraceable

not that he intends to ask anyway; you haven’t given him any reason to dig further (yet)

he keeps an eye out for you though

even if he’s not suspicious of you at the moment, that could change in the blink of an eye

aventurine is surprised at how loyal you are to him. you’re under diamond’s orders, but you’re surprisingly putting in a lot to protect him. and to look after him.

to you, it’s just your job… and a selfish, twisted sort of repentance. it’s a thought you intend to take with you to the grave.

you’re not obligated to wake him up or bring him breakfast, but you do anyway

which, he realizes that you must’ve woken up like at least two hours before him

you coordinate his schedule with his assistant so that he doesn’t make pointless trips to five different locations just to end up at the same one twice

you, quite literally, hover over him

yes, even at huge conferences, you’re tailing him like his shadow

some kinda scary dog privilege going on

but of course, you give him space whenever he requires it and keep him within your sights instead

so far so good

but you know what spooks him still? 

that you get pissed when someone makes any nasty passing remark at him

no, you are not a feral street cat that scratches anyone who wrongs you (him)

what you do is you give them a scary confrontation

or you pick them out and lodge a complaint with their superiors afterwards, if they aren’t the top dog

one time he got his hands on a report that you’re writing

aeons, you blow it out of proportion without lying 

you like to call it a suitable amount of embellishing 

then you pull a lot of emotional appealing according to the opponents' company policy

which usually results in some sort of disciplinary action that is actually pretty satisfying to see

but also

damn, you’re merciless 

and also very adept at business talk

trust +100, doubt +25

(shady mercenary for hire with far too much experience type doubt)

you’re as good of a bodyguard as aventurine can get, especially for someone he didn’t hire himself… 

he quite likes you, actually! because how many people do you think asked him something like “why do you need a bodyguard” to his face? none! you’re as entertaining as they come. 

and so he finds joy in his boring executive work by pestering you

you know that, but you put up with him

in fact, this guy is so one of a kind that you don’t even feel pestered

you sometimes even drink with him

whenever he offers, of course, because you’re not too interested in drinking

you drink moderately on the job, but c’mon, when are you not on the job

okay, maybe when he’s just chilling in his office or in the hotel and not going anywhere

then there’s competitive drinking where he tries to coax you into talking about yourself by making you down shots

and guess who’s wasted every time? not you

“mr aventurine?” you ask, nudging the unconscious man next to you. “sir? earth to mr aventurine? hello?”

his empty glass of whiskey on the table, his face slightly flushed as he snoozes away on the table… yeah, it does not look comfy at all.

you sigh, he’s giving you more work again, and you carefully hoist him from the table. 

when he comes to again, he finds himself in his own room

his head hurts so much

he notices that he hasn’t changed from his usual attire – only his coat and accessories are taken off

okay, and the top button of his shirt is undone

did you bring him back? 

as always, you don’t even bother to change him

he sighs, you’re really not very good at reading signs

because he’s done this multiple times! and he’s whined about not being changed after!

more like you did notice but you choose not to do what he wants

that’s crossing a line in your books

and your books is something you stick to like you’re obsessed

at least you left him water and hangover medicine on the nightstand

why does he feel like you’re deliberately keeping him at arm’s length?

it’s been a while and you two have spent so much time together, yet you’re still a stranger to him

not even acquaintances 

like… like, you don’t initiate conversation when you’re watching him

both when he’s going somewhere (requires actual protecting) and chilling at home (does not require actual protecting)

and even after so many late night drinking sessions, he still hasn’t seen you without your mask

mainly because you’ve never been drunk enough for him to sneak a peek, but still

aventurine doesn’t know how to express affection. platonically, romantically, in general, pretty much. so he tries to do the one thing he does best, splurging. and he tries to splurge on you, because he’s intrigued and wants to make buy a friend, but…

but you don’t let him splurge on you! you don’t even let him give you gifts! he only knows how to win affection by spending money on others! 

sometimes he feels like you stick too strictly to your duties

just like his other subordinates… you take orders far too well

he’s tried to give you trinkets, designer clothes, even limited snacks

all of which were returned to him within 24 hours

though, with the snacks, you take it if he offers you a piece or two when he’s already opened it

and you let him treat you to coffee occasionally. very occasionally.

he eventually figures out that it’s a matter of principles

but what principles, exactly? you’re a sellsword, for aeon’s sake

he thought those are the people who have absolutely no principles???

anyway, won’t stop him from trying

“mr aventurine…” you pinch the bridge of your nose as you see the bags stacked on your desk. “i remember telling you that souvenirs are unnecessary.”

“what’s wrong with them?” aventurine laments dramatically. “i’ve picked out only the finest for you!”

you don’t deserve it, you think, but you don’t say that, of course

you don’t even know of his lifelong grudge towards oswaldo

you just know that you had a hand in the extinction event

not like hand hand, but you watched it happen… it doesn’t sit well with you

besides, you have the blood of almost an entire civilization on your hands

if you think too hard about it, the image of flames and carnage overlap with what is in front of you

then, you envision the records of sigonia that you’ve read through in the past

and everything blurs together, your actions, your inaction, and your unwavering loyalty that led you to not raise a single question at all

you squeeze your eyes shut tightly and purge the images from your mind

you are currently here, in the present

“i can’t take them.” you reply, finally, shaking your head. “it’s inappropriate for our standing. especially since there’s no reason for you to be gifting me so many things out of nowhere.”

“what, i can’t be nice to my bodyguard?” aventurine pouts as he sorts the bags in height order. “i’ve got a limited edition tie, an antique phonograph, a discontinued mug, some rare natural color ink for your fountain pen, a pure cashmere sweater–”

“that’s… that’s enough, sir.” you raise a hand to cut him off. “i don’t think i can accept any of them, really.”

aventurine makes a face, then pulls out a bag from the end of the queue. “fine, fine. what about this, at least? assorted cookies from an artisan bakery, using only the best ingredients sourced from all over the cosmos?”

you stare at that bag as you feel the expectant stare from your boss

maybe… maybe one out of these dozens of bags is fine

you’ve gotta think about his feelings too, after you’ve rejected so many gifts

you reluctantly, carefully take the bag and say a small “thank you”

you don’t want his fascination with you to develop any more than what he’s already showing…

but you also know that it’s not up to you

so what is up to you is drawing a line that you won’t allow him to cross

for his sake, and for your own… 

if he keeps pushing, you should keep pushing back

keyword should

but can you?

aeons, you truly are selfish

wouldn’t it have been better to keep everything professional from the very beginning?

it’s okay. you only have a little more than half a year to go before you’re no longer obligated to be here. you’ll run away before aventurine catches on, like how you ran away from your past.

it’s okay. it’s just been a few months, there’s still more than half a year’s worth of time. before you part ways, there are still chances to get to know you better. perhaps even time to become friends, in the most literal sense of the word.

and maybe by the end of it, “you” will reach a satisfactory conclusion.

[shaunamilfman]

Lucy MacLean x Wastelander R HC's

you start looking at her in a new light after she sets off a grenade that takes out a room full of enemies. you're so impressed with her that she doesn't have the heart to tell you that she just accidentally tripped into a row of shelves and knocked an old grenade on the floor. 

“you want the head?”/ Lucy, love-struck “i mean if you're offering.” a pause, thinking over what you just said and looking disappointed. ”wait– did you say the head?"

most shocked look ever watching you loot bodies. on her high horse talking about “stealing is wrong” till you agree and say you just won’t be able to have dinner that night then. suddenly she’s willing to make exceptions to her morals, go figure.

whenever she starts talking too much, you start describing the most horrific looking monsters you've fought. she's following silently behind you in horror for a good mile before she manages to shake that description off and starts talking just as eagerly again. the silence was nice while it lasted. 

Lucy pretends to not know how to do things so that you’ll teach it to her as an excuse to talk to you but takes it way too far. you’re like, “what do you mean you don’t know how to open a can?” while she looks visibly upset that you don’t wrap your arms around her to show her how like she’s seen in those pre-war movies.

uses your rations to try to tame herself a pet while you're camping for the night. you’re looking everywhere for your last box of sugar bombs only to find a shameless Lucy feeding it to the ugliest animal you’ve ever seen as she tries to entice it to do tricks. She insists that she doesn’t understand why you’re mad about it but you can’t help but notice she never uses her rations for it. you end up getting so mad that you can’t even speak to her, which turns out to be the most effective punishment you ever could have come up with. she’s sitting there and begging you to talk to her because she's going crazy without human interaction (it's been five minutes).

you’re surprised and a little sad to see that Lucy isn’t in the camp when you wake up the next morning but it’s fine. You don’t need her anyway, right? You try not to look relieved when she trudges in halfway through taking the camp down covered in soot and grime and collapses in her cot as she holds up a pristine box of sugar bombs she spent all night searching for.

Lucy sees you smile one (1) time and will not get over it. “you have such a pretty smile, you should really smile more. you know it really lights up your face and…” on and on for like ten minutes. The type to grab for your face to pull the sides of your lips up to make you smile. You’re still visibly frowning, just with your lips pulled up at the sides. Lucy’s so frustrated with you mostly because she realized you’re actually really nice to look at when you aren’t glaring at everything. 

Lucy would call you lover unironically. goes through a million different terms of endearment before finally deciding on that one. it was one of the least embarrassing ones that she suggested so you wearily let it happen. walking for miles with Lucy trying them out initially like "honey. baby. teddy bear. big teddy bear of death? murder bear? no, okay, got it. sweetie. babe…” 

pretending not to know about things Lucy is referencing to see how long it takes for her to realize you’re messing with her. she's talking about her book club and you’re like “book? what's a book?” and she’s spiraling trying to explain the concept of written word to you

no concept of flirting. give her your absolute best lines and she's like “haha… okay?”. got to be as blunt as possible. tell her you want to fuck and she's like “oh yeah, sure.”

[wonder-mei]

Two hearts unite at last (Honkai: Star Rail’s Aventurine)

N9nQet on Twitter/X

Reminder : I do not write accurately to the lore of the world I am writing. I write whenever there’s an idea

ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـ♡ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـ

"Hehe… i told you i can take a bullet” 

“Don’t speak! Save your energy,Aventurine”

The blonde with the most beautiful eyes she has ever seen is bleeding through his abdomen. She put pressure on the wound to stop the bleeding, she tore a piece of her clothing to wrap around his waist. Aventurine only chuckles watching how desperate she is in this situation. Who wouldn’t? The smooth and glowing skin of his is now pale and lifeless. His beautiful unique eyes that always show cunningness now show weary. And, the lips she dreamed of kissing are now blue, not the pink lips of his. He’s in verge of death

“Idiot! You were already an idiot before but now you are millions more idiotic,Aventurine! Why did you do that?!”

He just laughs weakly “I told you, to prove that—”

“Don’t repeat that shitty reason! You should have stayed at that spot. Not coming to me!” 

“Hmm…” he only hums. He didn’t know why he went to her. They were on a mission to get information from this club owner who was associated with Ten Stonehearts’ enemy. Aventurine did the task for and only needed to wait for her outside the building but something unexpected happened. One of the guards caught her and pushed her into an isolated room. The feeling of his heart drops hearing her scared voice in the earpiece. He had to save her even though it got him shot. They both got out of the building after he got injured. The situation adrenalized her to knock the guard out after seeing how serious Aventurine’s injury is.

Now, they both hide in a dark alley where they waits for their team to come and save them but between both of them they will arrive late….too late

“Hey, stay awake!” She holds his face. Aventurine’s eyes start to drop from time to time “Don’t close your eyes….please…”

“Give me 5 minutes of nap”  

“Don’t joke around in a situation like this” she grips his face. He looks at her and smiles “Stay awake” Her eyes shed more tears than before “Stay awake. Don’t leave me…”. She brings out her phone after the phone dings. It was Topaz “There’s a clinic nearby. We need to go there. See? It’s not that far” she shows her phone screen Topaz has shared a clinic near them. She tried her hardest to speak normally 

Aventurine stares at her for a while “You know…. You are the only person who is nice to me…who sees me, the real me but….you still treat me like a human. After all i’ve been through… you talk to me like a normal friend would. I always want that…. Thank you” he takes a few breathe “And i finally felt how true love is…. To be loved….and to be in love. Everything was from you. I–”

Suddenly, the weak heart of his beats faster. She kissed him, stopping him from saying another word. Aventurine lays there for a while but returns the affection. His other hand lays on her face bringing her closer to him smothering them both with his blood. Both of them kissed for a while and it broke when she leaned away. Their eyes still on each other “Don’t go… I want you to stay so I can be with you forever. I love you,Kakavasha”

His eyes widened. His heart beat more for her. Not once did he think the feelings were mutual. Only he did not notice this fact while everyone does because his past prevents him to see love but now he does.

“Say that again…”

“I love you,Kakavasha”

Not Aventurine but Kakavasha, the true him not the member of Ten Stonehearts but himself Kakavasha who had gone from the misery past and who has kept his emotions deep inside. She loves his true self.

“More” he asked again for assurance. She once again repeats her words. He asked again after that, she answer again “I love you,Kakavasha” 

“You do?”

“Yes”

“Certainly?”

“With all of my heart” 

From gaping mouth from disbelief curves to a smile. The drowsy eyes retalized gleaming with life in them. He who hasn't cried since he was a child finally cries but now from joy “Thank you…” the feeling he longed for years after the loss of his family and home finally returned to him. His wish came true after awaiting for years 

She takes his hand that was on her cheek squeezing them “Let’s go to the clinic to get you recovered,okay?” 

Aventurine nods. His eyes never leave hers “Yes” 

“I’m going to be with you during this whole process. Always will”

“Yes”

“I’m going to pull you up. You’ll feel pain but endure for me,okay?”

With a nod from him. She gently pulled him up. He let out grunts and hiss from the pain “You are doing great. One step at a time”

Every step they take, she compliments him to make him not feel the pain on each step. It worked. After awhile they finally arrived at the clinic, the doctor patch Aventurine immediately after seeing them both came in covered in blood. And she never left him as she promised. The doctor told her to leave but their hands intertwined so hard no one could make them let go. 

When Topaz and other members came to the clinic, they were greeted with Aventurine and her still holding each others’ hands leaning on one another in the same bed. With that, they smile knowing what this means. It finally happened at last. He has found his savior. 

I thought that dream could light our way

(You take me higher, take me away) whoa

Oh, be my savior, take me away (away, away)

Take me away

Tick and tock once more, you're hosting (you're hosting)

A magic show I cannot escape (cannot escape)

There's nothin' else left for me to do

Goin' to the other side, other side

I don’t wanna be alone tonight,

Oh, lead me with your altered sign (come on),

There’s no one else left for me to lose,

Headin’ to the other side,other side.

[hanyjar]

do stars return?

itoshi sae x reader

summary: your childhood friend leaves, and you question if he’ll ever come back.

notes: [1.2k words.] i like to think this man has super angst potential but that won’t be unearthed today LOL no beta we die like men <3

disclaimers: childhood friends trope, angst (if u squint) to fluff, making out for a lil bit, poetic dialogue, forgiveness theme.

masterlist.

Itoshi Sae shines.

It's a truth you've come to realise at the budding age of seven. He, with his tepid stature and equally cold attitude, is destined for greatness.

A star, you whisper, once upon a time. A time where he lived without a million eyes watching his every move. You will become a star, I just know it. 

And back in the day, it wasn't just you who believed it. Everyone did. From his teachers to his classmates, to his parents and his brother. It was an indisputable fact that the boy who dedicated himself wholly to soccer, a prodigy who made the sport look like an art form, had his future set out for stardom.

So it is no surprise to anyone when your naive declaration comes into fruition.

His face is plastered on every billboard - as far as the eye can see. Japan's pride, he is known as. The Ice Prince; he who dominates the field; a force to be reckoned with.

Itoshi Sae: the star.

You are proud. No doubt. Though, it’s false to say that you aren’t envious. Sae is a trailblazer: one that surpasses all of his enemies with a nonchalant stare, and transcends into the sky with the other geniuses. He is a part of the lucky few who are destined to be gazed upon with awe. Everything and anything you have achieved pales in comparison.

(You’d surely hear reprimands if you voice those thoughts out loud, though. In your time, you have made a name for yourself. An expert in your passion at the mere age of seventeen; a trailblazer in your own right.

…It’ll just never compare to the name Sae built for himself, you think with finality.)

But above the awe and envy you feel whenever Sae’s name comes up, is love.

Love: a trap that is inevitable for a childhood friend of his. A pitfall that you have fell into. Your love for him is a bittersweet fact, one which tugs at your heartstrings whenever his face shows up on your phone. Sweet, because childhood love is a beautiful, rare thing - you’re glad that it has happened, in all honesty - though bitter all the same, because he is a star.

And stars shoot past. They never go back.

(He, will never go back.)

So for the years that Sae is gone, you float by on that knowledge. Merely acknowledging him as the one who crashed into your life, and left as turbulently as he came. You work diligently to mute the love that festered in your heart, knowing it will never be. 

You wholeheartedly believe that your life will continue in this fashion.

Then, the impossible happens.

The star returns, seven years later. On your doorstep, nonetheless.

"Itoshi?" 

Somehow, even in the ungodly hour of 12:56AM, Sae manages to look as beautiful as the day he left. It's unfair. Unfair for him to show up at your doorstep unannounced; unfair for him to have grown into his boyish looks as gracefully as he did.

It’s unfair for him to still make your heart race, even after all this time.

"Who else would it be?" He scoffs, the bite of his words not quite reaching his eyes. "And, Itoshi, seriously?"

His voice makes your heart leap. It's like you are ten again. "Well… You haven't been Sae for a while now," you say. "Not since you ghosted me, anyways."

Sae's eyes flicker with an emotion you thought he is incapable of feeling. "I didn't mean to." Regret. The Ice Prince is feeling regret, all for you. And if you were ten again, maybe that alone would shake you. But you aren't. You are several years wiser. You know better.

"It's fine if you want to be the best in the world. I don't blame you for that - not at all. But you can be number one and not neglect the ones that love you, y'know?" You slowly retreat back into the comfort of your apartment, hand creeping onto the back of the door. "Goodnight, Itoshi. You should go home; it's late."

You push the door, preparing to end the conversation then and there.

It’s not supposed to be like this, you realise. He, your first love, is supposed to stay in the past. Itoshi Sae should not be at your doorstep past midnight, suitcase in tow, as if he came straight from the airport to your house. The feelings you hold for him should be locked up within the depths of your heart - not surging in full force from just the sight of him.

But alas, fate plays its mischievous tricks once again. And Sae is not the type of person who lets blunders get away scot-free.

"…You love me?” He says, barely above a whisper, foot wedged between the door and the entrance. An impenetrable silence follows from your end. 

Seven years older, but still a fool in the face of love, it seems.

“I did,” I still do, your mind yells. “But you’re a star now, Sae. Just like I said you would be.” Your breath hitches, nails forming crescent-shaped indents within your palm. “…And stars don’t fall in love with the big, black sea of nothingness, do they?”

A beat of silence ensues from his end. You cringe at your own word choice. Maybe he left, you think. Great. Itoshi Sae was at your door, and you scared him away with your stupid love and even stupider confession. How stupid can you even get—

The door hinge creaks as you topple over, shattering your inner turmoil. Sae announces his intrusion with a loud sigh.

“Hey! What are you?— This is considered trespassing—“ You begin. Sae shuts you up with a forceful kiss, pinning you against the door that you were hiding behind minutes before. It’s messy, tantalising, addicting. The smell of his aquatic cologne fills your senses, and he cups your face in between his hands. He feels so warm. He feels like home.

Sae’s whole body screams of need. The need for you; the need to make up for the lost time. 

You hate how you are so weak for him. 

“Idiot.” He deadpans as the two of you part. “If you’re going to get all poetic on me, fine. Stars don’t fall in love with the galaxy.” 

You remove yourself from his arms, eyes scrunching in offence. Bold thing for him to say, especially after he just kissed your lips raw. “So… You’re not in love with me?”

“Let me finish.” Sae is quick to pull you back into his embrace, voice impossibly soft for the otherwise stone-faced boy. “Stars don’t fall in love with the sky. They live in it; I live with you.”

Sae hopes that the implication is clear.

You, alone, are his hope; you are the reason he sparkles as much as he does. Even while you were miles apart, his childhood friend was the sole thing on his mind. A star cannot shine without its galaxy, after all.

“You’re not off the hook, by the way.” You breathe lightly, laying your head against his chest. “Seven years is still a long time. I don’t think you can cuddle your way out of this one, Itoshi.”

A small smile elicits from his face, “I can try, can’t I?”

…And this star is willing to wait for his galaxy to forgive him, no matter how long it takes.

[cat3ch1sm]

🐇~ HI EVERYONE! welcome back to my account :) im excited for today’s post because this is my first across the spiderverse writing! i hope you guys like it lol i couldn’t stop thinking about it (spiderman is my entire life now)

🐇𓆩♡𓆪☁️ fem!reader, sfw

𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐰𝐥𝐞𝐫 𝐦𝐢𝐥𝐞𝐬 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚 𝐜𝐫𝐮𝐬𝐡 𝐨𝐧 𝐲𝐨𝐮- 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐧𝐬 <𝟑

~ miles g really does not like admitting he likes someone/ or even the idea of liking anyone at all. he obviously has things that are higher priority and he thinks it’s really a waste of time for the most part.

~ but then you come along,and he’s immediately enamored. like, imagine you’re just casually walking by miles while he’s sitting on his phone or whatever, and you accidentally bump into his leg. he looks up immediately to tell you to watch it, but instead is met with the most beautiful face he has literally ever seen. he legit double takes and completely forgets to even talk. you look down abruptly and are like “oh, i’m so sorry, i wasn’t paying attention!” you wait for him to say “it’s okay” or something like that, but when you look at him his expression is just blank. you kinda wave awkwardly and leave after that, and he watches you leave until you’re out of sight.

~ after you’re gone, he just sits there for a second before frowning and cursing at himself for being so caught up.

~…. “shit.”

~ miles g isn’t really the type to watch from afar, at least not for long. but for a short time, he does just watch you, admiring the way you do every little thing- smiling at your phone, the way you walk, how nice your voice sounds- things like that. it’s not long before he decides to make his move.

~the next time he sees you, he makes his move, cornering you when you’re alone and putting one arm beside your head so you can’t leave. needless to say, you’re definitely caught off guard when you turn around and are met with miles’ face- expression nonchalant and that unreadable glint in his eyes as usual.

~ yeah, don’t be fooled. miles is nervous as all hell and praying to every god imaginable that you don’t notice him shaking. but he isn’t the type to let fear or apprehension get in the way of something he wants.

~ “hey, you’re that guy i ran into the other day… um… hi!”

~ your smile almost makes him keel over. Jesus Christ

~ “hey, ma- glad you remember me. was wondering if you was tryna let me take you out sometime? i thought you were pretty.”

~ (yes, the whole atsv fandom has collectively agreed that prowler miles would call you “ma.” argue with the wall)

~ miles is crazy nervous for your response as he watches your expression furrow thoughtfully- but when you smile that smile again and say yes, he feels like a million weights have been lifted off his shoulder. sure, he’s the prowler, but he’s still a 15-year-old boy who probably hasn’t had a lot of experience in the dating arena.

~anyway, that was a fun little scenario- now let’s talk about miles actually going out with you, like how he is during the time where you’re going out but not quite exclusive.

~ the second he gets your socials, he’s all over them. he’s spending an amount of time he isn’t willing to disclose just stating at your pictures and admiring your beauty. he watches your TikToks religiously, liking them all, but literally immediately scrolls past the ones where you’re with any guy. he’s not jealous because he isn’t insecure, but he just does not care to see you with anyone else.

~ whenever you text him, unless he’s busy with prowler stuff, he’ll respond within like ten minutes at most. miles doesn’t want you to think for a second that he’s ignoring you or forgot about you. he has caught himself smiling slightly at his phone while he’s texting you every now and then, which he is so embarrassed about for no reason😭

~ yes, uncle aaron notices.

~ “aye, g, what’s got you cheesin’ at yo phone like that?”

~ “…nothin’, unc.”

~ “you know i can tell when you lyin’, right?”

~ “aw, c’mon-“

~”don’t even bother.”

- and rio notices, too.

~ “ay, miles, why are you on your phone so much lately? you know i don’t like- miles? what’s so funny on your phone?”

~ “nothing, mama.”

~ “nothing’s funny? then why are you smiling at your phone?”

~ “…uh…”

~ “waaaait…” *pause, hands on hips* “miles, are you talking to a girl?”

~ “mami!”

~ “so it is a girl! is it the same girl whose pictures you’ve been looking at lately?!”

~yes, she noticed that too.

~ “…mami!!”

~ “let me see!”

~ the next two minutes are miles and rio madly wrestling for his phone. (spoiler alert, rio wins.)

[hotvintagepoll]

Propaganda

Cyd Charisse (The Bandwagon, Brigadoon, Singin’ in the Rain)—LEGS LEGS LEGS I would sell my soul for the legs of Cyd Charisse - she oozed style and glamour and sex appeal!! And she could DANCE! She was dancing next to the greats - Gene Kelly, Fred Astaire but they are never who you're looking at because why would you when you can look at her. I will only sit through too long ballet breaks for her. If there was any woman who you could call sex on legs it was her. These dances are everything to meeee (she comes in at the minute mark) and this dance too of course is iconic. In the words of Fred Astaire 'When you've danced with Cyd Charisse you stay danced with'

Beata Tyszkiewicz (The Doll)—no propaganda submitted

This is round 1 of the tournament. All other polls in this bracket can be found here. Please reblog with further support of your beloved hot sexy vintage woman.

[additional propaganda submitted under the cut.]

Beata:

Cyd:

Photos do not do Cyd Charisse justice, unfortunately, because she is at her hottest while dancing, which she was exquisitely good at. Just go watch her first number in Singin' in the Rain, in that green dress; nothing I could say here will be more convincing that that.

She had amazing legs, and she knew how to use them! You probably know her best from the dream sequence in Singin' In The Rain. She was such a stunning dancer, and all her dance scenes are hard to look away from.

Dancing in the Dark clip:

She's an amazing dancer and my favorite from the period. Here's her and Fred Astaire in the Band Wagon:

One of the most talented female dancers in Hollywood history, but what sets her apart from other competitors for that title is that she...umm...well let's be blunt, she was the dancer who put sex into it. The one who said "Hey, you know that A+ leg tone that naturally develops from doing this for a living? Why don't I let people see that? Like at every opportunity?" She reportedly insured her legs for five million dollars after hitting it big, which just goes to show that fame makes you crazy. It should have been ten million.

I just like a woman who's there to be really incredibly good at dancing.

Arguably the Best female dancer of her time, she supposedly insured her legs for $5 million dollars. Stole the show whenever she had a dance number, even if she went uncredited. Musicals started to go out of fashion so unfortunately she didn't have as many big roles as she should have, but those she did are unforgettable. The Broadway Melody number in Singin' in the Rain - the green dress!

She could pirouette in pointes or tear it up in taps. Fred Astaire called her "beautiful dynamite" and wrote, "That Cyd! When you've danced with her you stay danced with." Gene Kelly partnered with her three times. Her legs were (reportedly) insured for $5 million in 1952 ($57.8 million in 2024 dollars)! Everyone in this poll will be iconic, but for raw physical grace, Cyd is up there with the best.

Legs for days, beautiful dancer in the most iconic scenes of Singin in the Rain. She's glorious. As some guys sung to her in It's Always fair weather, 'baby you knock me out!'

Incredibly, Cyd Charisse only started learning to dance as a rehab exercise to strengthen her body after a childhood bout of polio. She was in high demand as a dance partner, Fred Astaire called her beautiful dynamite and said "When you've danced with her, you stayed danced with". She was one of a few leading ladies to dance with both Astaire and Kelly, declaring them both delicious. Kelly apparently was stronger, while Astaire was more coordinated. She also said her husband would always know who she had been dancing with because Kelly left her bruised, while Astaire didn't leave a mark. She's better known for her dance numbers today, but she was a leading lady in her time! Her Scottish accent in Brigadoon leaves a lot to be desired, but compared to the other actors in the movie, it's almost good. She appeared in The Harvey Girls alongside Judy Garland and Angela Lansbury in her first speaking role, but she really burst onto the scene with Singin' in the Rain and her infamous Broadway Melody Ballet number with Gene Kelly (no one could handle a length of fabric like Cyd Charisse). She was brought in because Debbie Reynolds wasn't really a dancer and Kelly was notoriously a stickler about his Vision. After that she starred opposite Astaire in The Band Wagon, which was a bit of a flop but created some enduringly incredible dance numbers. She went on to star in a number of MGM movies, and was one of the last of the Studio era stars to remain on contract. Since we've got up to 1970, I'm including her opening routine in The Silencers (1966) to show just how long she was making a splash - she's into her 40s here and still a siren:

and of course, the iconic Broadway Melody Ballet -

[forever-rogue]

For the I love you prompts how about tasm!peter and

[  ASLEEP  ]:     sender, having climbed into bed to cuddle the receiver (who they believe to be asleep), tells them that they love them.

🥹💕I just think this radiates Peter energy 😫

AN |  Alright, so this is just soft and with a happy ending❤️

Pairing | tasm!Peter Parker x Fem!Reader

Warnings | Language

Word Count | 3.3k

Masterlist | Main | Peter

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

“Peter?” It was the combination of how softly you said his voice contrasted to your rapid knocking that captured his attention more than anything. He stopped what he was doing, jumping off the couch before almost running to the door. He opened it without hesitation, only to frown deeply when he saw you on the other. Peter was always over the moon to see you…but he hated seeing you upset. You looked at him with teary eyes, lips trembling with effort not to cry, “hi.”

“Hey,” he pulled you into his arms before you could say anything else, and you fell apart as soon as he touched you. You buried your face into his chest, holding on to him tightly as he brought you inside and closed the door. His heart broke as he listened to you sniffle, trying your best to hold in your tears, “it’s okay, sweetheart. It’s alright, I’ve got you.”

“I know,” your soft response was muffled by the fabric of his t-shirt, “‘m sorry.”

“Don’t apologize,” he rested his head on top of yours, rubbing your back in soothing circles, “you don’t ever have to apologize.”

Peter felt you nod in response before the emotion overwhelmed you and the tears started to roll down your cheeks. It wasn’t long before he felt the cotton of his shirt get soaked. He held you, rocking you gently back and forth until you slowly calmed down. The boy possessed many amazing qualities and skills, and giving the best hugs in the world was one of them.

“C’mere,” he loosened his grip, smiling softly when he saw the pretty pout on your lips, already missing his touch. He took your hand in his, his much larger one dwarfing yours as he led you to the couch. He set you before kneeling in front of and tenderly brushing away your tears with his thumb before pushing a few rogue locks of hair behind your hair, “do you know what this moment calls for?”

“For me to stop being a blubbering idiot?” you asked meekly, the corner of your mouth twitching up ever so slightly. 

“First of all - no,” he tutted softly, “and secondly - you’re not an idiot. The moment calls for hot chocolate.”

“Oh,” your eyes widened in excitement and you reminded him of a kid on Christmas morning, “will there be mini marshmallows?”

“You should know by now that I always keep  a bag on hand for you,” he gently tapped your chin with his knuckle before standing up, “just back, get comfy, and I will be right back.”

“Do you need a hand, Pete?”

“Absolutely not,” he insisted, “you stay and I’ll be back. Less than ten minutes. Pick out something to watch - and it better be something good!”

He pressed a kiss to your forehead, such a normal thing for either of you to do, and as always it made your stomach burst with butterflies. You watched him go, already feeling a million times better; Peter had that effect on you. No matter what happened or what was going on, he always made everything better. 

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Peter made good on his promise and was back in even less time than he originally promised, two large mugs in his hands. You gratefully took one of them and moved so he had plenty of room to sit next to you. He set his own mug on the coffee before grabbing the big, fluffy blanket off the back of the couch and draping it over the two of you. He’d never admit it, but he bought that blanket because you had liked it so much at the store and he wanted you to have it at his place whenever you wanted it. He was thoughtful like that, among so many other things.

You pulled the blanket around your frame before cuddling up into his side before putting your feet on the table. Next to Peter, whether at his place or yours, or anywhere else was definitely your favorite place in the world. You’d put on some random show, more for background noise rather than anything else. 

“Want to talk about it?” he asked after a few moments of quiet. You knew it was coming but it still made you sigh softly, “you don’t have to if you don’t want to. But I hope you know you can tell me anything.”

“Of course I know,” you gently nudged your arm into his side, “you’re my best friend, Pete. I trust you more than anything or anyone in this world.”

“Yeah?” he teased softly, giving that boyish smile you adored, “glad to know the feeling’s mutual.”

You finished off the rest of your hot chocolate and set the mug down, shifting in your seat so you were facing him. You couldn’t quite bring yourself to meet his eyes, knowing it would make you want to cry all over again. It wasn’t even Peter himself that made you want to cry; if you were being completely honest with yourself, it was that you knew he would never be yours.It was something you’d accepted over the years - not that it made it any easier - which is why you forced yourself to date other people. 

Not that any of those worked. You knew why this never did. This time around, your current boyfriend figured out exactly why. 

“Matt, umm…he broke up with me today,” you confessed, voice dropping so much that the average person definitely would not have heard you, but you knew that Peter heard you loud and clear. His eyebrows raised in surprise, so high they almost disappeared into his hairline. 

“I…what?” he asked softly, clearly not believing what you had said. Although there was no reason you’d lie to him. It just seemed so sudden, “he broke up with you? That makes no sense. You two were so good together.”

Too good together if you asked Peter Parker.

“Well,” you exhaled slowly before shrugging your shoulders, “I guess we weren’t. At least not to him. So…he ended things today.”

“Did something happen?” he asked softly, putting a finger under your chin to turn your face up towards his. He could see that the tears were welling up again and wished he could do something to make it all better. Peter could see that you were struggling with trying to find the words, “did he do something?”

“No,” you shook your head, wrapping your fingers around his wrist and pulling his hand away. Despite the fact that he broke up with you - for the most valid of reasons - you couldn’t find it in your heart to dislike him. He wasn’t a bad person….he just got caught up with someone that happened to be in love with someone else, “he didn’t. I’m not…it sucks, but I’m not mad at him. I guess it’s just the situation.”

Peter could tell that you were holding back and not telling him the entire truth but he always didn’t want to push you. He knew you’d talk about the full details if and when you were ready.  He let out a small sigh to commiserate with you before reaching over and putting his hand on your face, resting it on your cheek, “well, if you ever want to talk about it, just let me know. And if it’s any consolation, it’s his loss. Anyone would be a fool to let you go. You’re gold, sweetheart - I can’t believe he didn’t see that.”

You swallowed thickly, desperately wanting to ask what about you, Peter? Do you want me?

But you didn’t. You weren’t about to throw about two decades worth of friendship out the window just because you couldn’t get your feelings in check. 

“Thanks Pete,” you bit the inside of your cheek to keep from saying anything else. Did he really have to look at you like that? With the sweetest, most honeyed eyes that made you want to get on your knees and beg him to love you? You nodded instead, keeping your mouth shut, “there’s some girl out there that’s going to be so lucky to get to love you one day, Parker. Whether or not you see it, you’re a huge catch.”

His cheeks flushed a pretty shade of rose as he turned his head away. You laughed softly. The sound went straight to his heart and was easily his favorite sound in the world. He gave you your knee a small squeeze, “well, I guess one day we’ll both find those people that are worthy won’t we?”

“Mhmm,” you hummed softly, “can I ask you for a favor?”

“Anything.”

“Can I stay tonight?” you asked, as if Peter Parker ever said no to you, “you know what, I’m so rude. I just kind barged right now and didn’t even ask if you had plans or were busy. I shouldn’t just-”

“Shh,” he put a gentle finger to your lips to keep you from rambling further, “I am never too busy for you and before you argue, you are never a bother. Besides, I didn’t have plans. Just maybe some patrolling, but it can wait.”

“You don’t have to put that off,” you insisted softly, “there are more important things out there than just me.”

Doubtful, he wanted to say. 

“I don’t mind-”

“Peter, I can just go home,” you promised, “or stay here if you don’t mind.”

“When have I ever minded?” he teased as you grinned sheepishly, “never. And I don’t mind now. Stay, please. You practically live here anyway, don’t act like some sort of stranger.”

“Okay,” you felt ready to cry again, “thank you.”

“Nothing to thank me for,” he insisted sweetly, “and you got lucky - I just washed and put on my clean sheets.”

“Ahhh, you’re my hero,” the idea of slipping into his warm bed with the smell of fresh laundry and pillows that always smelled like him was heavenly, “thank you, Peter. Will you…don’t be out too late?”

“You just want me for my warm body,” he playfully huffed but you grinned like the Cheshire cat, “all these years, I should have known.”

“It’s not my fault you’re a radiator,” you stuck your tongue out at him, “one of the many good things that came out of you being bitten by a radioactive spider.”

“Yeah, yeah,” he teased, “there’s some clean stuff for you in the dresser, okay? Are you sure you’ll be fine-”

“I’m sure, Pete,” before you could stop yourself or overthink it, you pressed a kiss to his cheek, “I’ll be okay if you promise me two things.”

“Anything.”

“Come home soon,” you pleaded softly, “and come home safe.”

“I always do,” you raised an eyebrow, silently reminding him of the many times he came home battered and bruised, “you know I’ll always come home to you.”

“I know,” you wondered if he picked up on how quickly your heart was suddenly beating; you were sure he did. You swallowed thickly before turning your face away, “I guess I’ll let you go then.”

“I’ll be back soon,” he promised, “I know it’s pointless to say, but don’t worry about me, sweetheart.”

“It is pointless,” you snorted in amusement, “but I’m just gonna go to bed and maybe watch a movie or something while you’re out.”

“Don’t wait up.”

“Again, pointless to say,” you were both well aware of that fact, “I’ll see you soon, Pete.”

“Soon, sweetheart.”

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Once he left, you padded to his bedroom and snuggled up in his bed, letting the warmth and familiar smell surround you. Nothing made you feel better and more at home than being in his bed. You helped yourself to a shower as you often did before rummaging through his drawer and picking a pair of his boxers and a sweater to put on. You felt so much better already, but then, that just proved that Matt had been right all along. You pushed that thought to the back of your mind as you cuddled up in his and turned on the TV. You knew you weren’t going to be able to focus on much so you turned on a show the two of you had seen a million times.

Despite your best efforts to stay awake, you were fast asleep in less than an hour. It was definitely the combination of warmth and comfort and the overwhelming feelings you were currently trying to process. 

Peter came back at a relatively early hour, deciding that things were quiet enough for him to go home. And honestly? He really just wanted to go home and see his favorite girl; his girl  - at least in his mind. His heart panged when he remembered the fact that you were unfortunately not his and likely never be his. But he could pretend, right? There was no harm in it. 

When he got home, landing on his firescape, he was ready to tap on the window to let you know he was back, but then saw that you were sleeping peacefully. A smile crossed his features as he quietly let himself in, landing on the floor with the softest thud. The boy made quick work of pulling off his mask before grabbing some pajamas out of his dresser and quickly changing in the bathroom. He thought about changing in the bedroom but didn’t want to give you a heart attack in case you woke up. Not that you hadn’t seen him shirtless about a million times before, but still. Peter was a gentleman.

Once he came back out, he walked to his side of the bed and watched you for a moment, taking in your small, light snores and even breathing. He pulled and blankets back before climbing into bed as quietly and gently as he could. Despite his best efforts, you made a small sound, “Peter?”

“It’s me,” he whispered, “‘m back. Just rest, sweetheart.”

He immediately felt the warmth of your body and he realized just how badly he wanted to hold you. Like really, really badly. You listened to him try and get comfortable while maintaining a proper distance and smiled to yourself, “can I ask you something?”

“You just did,” oh. You could practically feel the smile on the boy’s face, “but I guess you can ask something else.”

“Will you…will you cuddle me?” the shocked look on Peter’s face was something to behold. You let out a small little exhale before slowly turning around to face him. Even in the dark you could see the pretty flush on his cheeks, “you don’t have to if you don’t want to.”

“I want to,” he was quick to dispel any of your worries as he swallowed the lump in throat. He wanted nothing more, “I-I always want to.”

You hummed in content as you scooted closer to him and you felt him wrap an arm around you. Before you could say or do anything, he pulled you closer, causing you to bump noses and laugh softly, “you’re so warm.”

“You’re so soft,” he sounded like he was in awe as you tangled your legs with his, “so soft and delicate.”

“Peter,” you leaned into him and buried your face near his chest before closing your eyes again. Alright, this was definitely your favorite spot in the entire galaxy. You laughed despite your best efforts to stay away, “you smell ‘s good.”

“Oh yeah?” you felt him press a kiss to the top of your head, “so do you.”

You smiled to yourself as you let yourself get lolled back to sleep. A comfortable silence fell over the two of you as Peter tried to keep calm as you slept in his arms. He wanted to get some rest too, but found that it was almost impossible with how loud his thoughts were. He tried to ground himself with the feeling of you in his arms, along with your steady breathing. It all served to remind him just how deeply in love with you he was.

He laid there for a while, trying to figure out and process his own feelings. Eventually he ended up watching you, trailing his fingers over your cheek and along your jaw before sighing softly. How were you so pretty and soft and lovely and everything? It almost wasn’t fair. 

“I hope you know how much I love you,” he whispered into the dark, accompanied by a wistful little sigh, “maybe one I’ll actually be able to tell you.”

What he didn’t know was that you were awake as well, unable to fall asleep while you were in his touch. You tried to control your inhale, still contemplating if you should say anything or just let him think you were sleeping. But you were pretty sure that he might have just said the words you’d been wanting to hear for the years.

“Peter?” you whispered after a few moments, so softly that he almost didn’t hear it. But you could hear the small sound of surprise that he made, “I wasn’t fully honest when I told you that Matt broke up with me.”

“What do you mean?”

“He broke up with me because he said he wasn’t the one for me,” you could feel him watching you intently with baited breath, “he told me that I could never love him like he deserved to be loved because…because I was already in love with someone else.”

“O-oh.”

“Because I’m in love with you,” you confessed, finally getting it all out in the open, “because it’s so obvious.” 

Peter was silent for a few moments, his mind racing as he tried to figure out if you were being serious or just repeating what Matt had said. You pulled back so you could face him, reaching over and brushing some of his wild hair out of his face, “and he was right.”

“He was?” he asked softly, setting his hand on top of yours where it rested on his face, “sweetheart?”

“He was,” you promised, “it’s always been you, Peter. I just never thought that you’d feel the same. If I did-”

“I would have said something years ago,” he finished for you as you nodded, “me too. I…I feel so dumb. All this time…”

“It’s okay,” you insisted sweetly, “we’ve always had each other - and we always will. Now we can just…do all the other stuff too.”

“All the other stuff,” he teased and you laughed softly, a mixture of adoration and nerves, “hmm, you might have to tell me more. Just to make sure that we’re on the same page.”

“First of all,” you leaned in so your lips were almost brushing against each other, “like kissing, you know?”

“Does that mean I can kiss you?”

“I insist on it, Parker,” the two of you were grinning at each other like fools, “please.”

“What if I don’t want to stop?” you saw his Adam’s apple bobbing as he swallowed thickly. You worried your bottom lip between your teeth, a sight he was sure would kill him. He pulled you towards him, his large hand splaying on your waist as you stared at each other intensely. 

“Don’t,” you insisted softly, “don’t ever stop.”

[biblio-smia]

“you can’t scare me like that, okay?” w mike schmidt <3? love ur work!

thank u!!! <333 | part of v’s 800 follower celebration!

when mike's call goes to voicemail, he doesn't mind. you're probably busy. maybe you didn't hear the ringing of your phone over the noise of something else.

when you don't call back, mike finds his mind start to wonder. did he do something wrong? do you not like him anymore?

when the clock hits six p.m., mike tries again. he hears the line ring for what seems like hours. this is unusual - the longest you've taken to pick up is three rings at most.

mike knows your schedule better than his. he knows you're sitting in your kitchen right now, thinking of what to put together for dinner. even if you left your phone somewhere, you would still hear the landline. so, mike tries again. one more time.

nothing.

now he worries about being overbearing. he hopes he's not annoying you, but he knows deeps down you're not the type to shy away from a conversation if you did happen to have an issue. it's unlike you.

this is unlike you.

mike is beginning to worry when it's ten p.m. and he still hasn't heard from you. he's found that he hasn't relaxed all afternoon, realized how important your presence (even if it's just the sound of your voice) is to his daily routine. mike feels a little ridiculous, depending on you so much, mind spinning between worried about coming off as clingy and simply worried about you.

he can't stand it by twelve, his heart thumping wildly and his imagination assuming the worst. he's gone through a million possible scenarios in his head, thousands of excuses. none of them fit quite right and mike is beginning to think back to a childhood memory that's haunted him for years.

he's off before he can really think about it, quiet enough not to wake abby but keeping a hasty pace. he's in his car, he's a little too much over the speed limit, he's in front of your door. mike is even more hesitant now that he's here. what if you were just avoiding him? was he making things worse?

mike decides it's worth the risk to knock. it's strong, but no other sounds in the quiet neighborhood follow. mike is about to give up after a few too many moments of silence when he finally hears footsteps.

mike perks up as the door opens and he finally sees you. mike doesn't care if you don't want anything to do with him; he hugs you immediately.

mike's sure you're confused, but you hug him back immediately. at least there's a good sign.

mike feels a little silly as he parts, looking at the clear confusion on your face.

"what's wrong?" you ask innocently, immediately erasing all of mike's worries.

"i thought..." mike shakes his head. "nothing."

"no, tell me," you insist, grabbing mike and dragging him inside. your home is dark; you obviously had gone straight to the door as soon as you'd heard it.

"i just thought... something might've happened." mike's voice shakes a little, his fears suddenly pressing on his chest. mike watches your eyes soften and he wills his emotions not to show so obviously on his face. "you can't scare me like that, okay?"

"i'm sorry," you say sincerely, taking mike's hands in yours. "i was just exhausted after work-"

mike shakes his head. "no, don't apologize for that. i was just kinda worried."

if mike is completely honest, he's a little embarrassed. he'd never thought he'd be the type to need so much reassurance. he didn't want to be clingy.

"i won't take naps like that again," you pull mike into another hug.

"oh, don't do that. just... call me whenever you wake up."

"what if i don't wake up until two in the morning?" you smile.

"then you call me at two in the morning." mike grins, kissing your cheek. "i should go."

"you can stay. it's the least i can do after neglecting you."

"okay," mike scoffs with a smile, shaking his head. "i wasn't totally helpless."

"no, you just missed me," you coo, letting mike cup your face in his hands.

he laughs before he leans in to place a soft kiss on your lips.

"yeah, i really did."

[the-fiction-witch]

Hopelessly

Media The Artful Dodger

Character Jack Dawkins

Couple Jack X Reader

Rating SMUT

Requested :

Yess ty fiction which, I also have an idea so idk if u watched the show yet (u probably did) but the main girl lady belle, can u make it were y/n likes Jack and he likes us but y/n gets jealous and upset bc she thinks Jack likes lady belle and not us. It’s just a thought

I scampered my feet up the stairs of the hospital, My feet ached, my legs sore, and my lungs short of breath from the fact since first light I hadn't so much as sat down for more than a few seconds. But I was fueled by the power to lift four carriages and run from Port Victoria to Brisbane. I opened the door to the surgery theatre prep room where the tools, ties and other such items were laid out for the various surgeries. 

And there He stood.

Fixing up his sleeves as he was selecting between what blades he was to use today for the amputation. His dark brown shoes were caked with dusty dry dush dirt, and his brown trousers were patterned with a slightly darker brown plaid almost unnoticeable, his shirt typically white but dark around the sleeves from the constant blood it soaked in, his dark blue waistcoat done up tightly and the green tie around his neck in a double knot, His hair freshly fluffy in its usual style leaving me to assume he likely had a bath today, or yesterday night soon enough for his hair to still be that fluffiness. 

"The Medicine Doctor Dawkins," I smiled doing my best not to turn the colour of a bright poppy flower, my heart skipped a beat seeing him, my breath hitching, every ache or concern from the day work melted into the least of my concerns each one of them worth it for the mere sight of him. 

I had worked at the hospital as long as I could remember having taken over the role from my mother, I was technically a laundry and kitchen girl by definition but my role had changed since Doctor Dawkins arrived, we found quickly we had a mindset that worked similarly so often if he needed anything I'd be the one he would summon about it, and at this point I had all but become his scullery girl as well as all my other jobs around the hospital, but I didn't mind at all. Every moment with him was worth ten times the work I put in.

I was utterly, unequivocally, Hopelessly devoted to him. 

"Ahh." He perked up looking over to me a smile growing across his lips "There you are. I was wondering where my little nursey got herself off to." He chuckled cleaning his hands off, I blushed at his use of that name, his 'little nursey'. I wasn't a nurse of course but he had called me that as long as I remember but I didn't mind, I couldn't bear to stop him as my heart would flutter whenever I heard it. 

"Fetching the medicine, as you requested" I smiled taking it over to him 

"Thank you very much." He said taking the glass bottle from my hand his fingertips gracing my own as he did, taking the bottle and staring at diluting a dose for the patient, I merely stood beside him taking in the curves and valleys of his face, noticing my theory correct he must have had a bath this morning as I could smell his usually pine and eucalyptus soap as well as his familiar aftershave that I could only describe as addicting and heavenly. He glanced at me from his work his eyes flicking to me a moment "You have somewhere to be?"

"Ohh no, not really." I lied, I had a million jobs I could be rushing off to get on with but I wanted every single second I could get in this room alone with him,  

"Good. You can keep me company then." he smiled 

"You don't mind? I'll go if I'm any trouble." 

"No, you're no trouble nursey" He smiled "Could you fetch my apron for me?"

"Of course" I nodded rushing across the prep room to fetch it for him returning within a few small seconds 

"It's not a race you know. Take your time slow down" He chuckled slipping it on and quickly tieing it the way he liked it

"I just don't want to keep you waiting," I blushed 

"You are such a sweet little thing. Why can't all the nurses be like you." He said as his patient was brought into the theatre the crowd let into the stands to watch too "I'll see you later Nursey," he smiled taking my hand in his and giving my knuckles a sweet polite kiss before he headed out to the applause of the crowd. My body was utterly frozen as he had left me my heart beating out of my chest. My god I am a sinful girl. Unable to prevent my eyes from lingering. 

I stood in the prep room almost unable to move watching through the window as he worked, he moved almost in slow motion to me his every move being carefully chiselled on my mind, the sweetest sound playing in my mind drowning out the sound of the bloodthirsty crowd. Unable to prevent my smiles and my blush, I'm sure if surgeons had fan clubs I'd be at the head of his, I knew it was wrong but I couldn't help my devotion to him, praying mightily that he would one day see my unquestionable devotion and admiration, take me in his arms and make me his bride. But so far that had only been a wish, a several-year-long wish. I knew I was down badly, but I couldn't draw myself away, so much so he could tie me to the operating table and remove my arm without any painkillers, using a rusty blade and I would still thank him immensely. he could drag me by my hair though the graveyard and still I would only give him smiles, he could take my innocence and slap me across the arse and still I would be at my knees for him. Not that he would, I hope. 

"Y/n. Laundry." The head nurse Hetti snapped in my direction as she passed the door 

"Yes, Miss." I nodded quickly scampering out and down to the laundry room stopping short as I closed the door finally being alone again holding my hand tightly and pressing a kiss to my knuckle just where he had kissed hoping perhaps to get a taste of his lips. 

I finished for the day scrubbing at my body before slipping on my little nightie and climbing into my little bed, I took my book from the table and began to read the fantastical stories leaning my head against my pillow that sat vertically on my bed as if another body rested in it, so I rested my head there reading for a good hour or so before setting my book down and blowing out the candle, I turned over and wrapped my arms around the pillow resting my head as if I was hugging a body even wrapping my leg around it nuzzling my head into the soft cotton. 

"Ummmm..." I hummed "Goodnight Jack," I whispered giving my pillow a little kiss, and I closed my eyes tight my mind dreaming of his sweet voice whispering to me 'Goodnight my little nursey' before I drifted into my dreams.

When the sun came I woke early far earlier than I needed to be, but that was fairly normal. I stirred and shuffled in my sheets feeling the tension that had built between my legs from my sweet dreams, I glanced over my shoulder to my table to see my little clock knowing I had enough time for what my body so obviously wanted, I blushed hard giving my pillow a little kiss "Good morning" I cooed in a whisper rubbing my nose against the cotton, I adjusted myself a little moving my hand down to my thigh, tugging up my cotton nightie and slipping my hand under it meeting the heat between my legs I did gently stroke my skin but I knew quickly that already wasn't necessary, my fingers finding my already aching clit and rubbing little circles "Uhhh" I gasped quietly 

"Ummm good Morning my little nursey, aww whats this? you've been dreaming about me again?" he cooed between kisses down my neck "Well, I can hardly leave my little nursey like this can I?" his hands stroking over my body touching my most intimate places fondling my breasts, slapping my ass and replacing my hand with his own rough more callus fingers 

I slipped my fingers inside me using my index and ring fingers as they were longer and thus It made it more believable in my mind that they were his, "Uhhh! Jack!" I gasped as hushed as I could in the quiet morning light 

"Umm, what a good girl, say it again. tell them who you adore." He smirked mercilessly kissing me and touching me tugging on my nipple to harden it into his hand which he then plaid with 

"Uhh! Jack! please-" I gasped my other hand clutching my breast to rub and twist my nipple to match my fantasy to my pleasurable reality 

"You are so beautiful when you're like this for me. you're making me hard. My sweet little nursey going to take care of her doctor?" he encouraged "Come on, you know you want to?"

I blushed hard moving to sit up in bed and move my thighs to either side of the pillow, my hands still working hard 

"Ohhh that's perfect, You look so beautiful on top of me y/n. go on. you know I can't resist you like this." 

I moved my hand away and tightened my grip on the pillow with my thighs moving my hips back and forth grinding against my pillow riding it as if it really was him, the cotton and stuffing of the firm pillow rubbing against my clit each time I moved my hips "UUuuhh! Jack!" I gasped clamping a hand over my mouth to keep myself quiet knowing... the real Jack slept just on the other side of the wall in his own room and bed. 

"Ohh fuck- You are so beautiful. I wanna see you cum for me." He growled 

"Uhh uhhh" I whined quietly hearing my bedsprings begin to squeak as I sped up 

"Aww, what a good girl, My good little nursey. Come on let me see that body I love so much"

even if I was alone I tugged down my nightie to my waist exposing my bare breasts as I bounced and grinded  "Uhh Please jack..." I whined feeling close, playing with my breasts and nipples to give myself more pleasure and my wave hit suddenly my legs clamping on the pillow squirt flooding down my legs and onto my sheets and nightie, the wave of pleasure flooded from my head to the tips of my fingers and toes like a wave on the beach, "Uuuughhhhh!" I moaned luckily I put my hand there quickly to keep me quiet and as I reached such a high I heard a firm double knock on my bedroom wall just inches from me and I knew why. 

I blushed hard seeing the mess I had made and I fixed my nightie kissing my pillow before I climbed off, and made sure to tug my nightie down grabbing my cardigan and slipping it over my shoulders as I left my room going only a few inches down to the other door opening it without much of a concern finding myself inside his room. The room was littered with items his bed in the corner against the wall he shared with my own room, his servant man somewhere I didn't know, but Jack Laid in his bed still knotted with the sheets his head on the pillow clearly only a few moments into this world from his dreams, his hair a fluffy bedhead, his clothes littered the floor his bare skin exposed as the sheets only covered below his stomach. It was obvious he had woken up and knocked on the wall immediately as was typical most mornings. 

I blushed doing my best not to look like I was looking but, I was. trying to burn the image of him lying in his bed into my mind, I nervously adjusted my nightie just to make sure it covered me. 

"Good Morning Doctor Dawkins." I smiled as sweetly as I could 

"Morning Nursey" He yawns stretching his arm above his head 

"What can I do for you on this fine morning?"

"Can I trouble you for crumpet?" He asked 

"Of course No problem" I smiled pulling my hair into a ponytail and heading over to the small part of his room for cooking, taking what I would need from the cupboard, and starting up the stove to prepare him his breakfast "Did you sleep alright?"

"Fine, same as usual" He answered "You sleep alright?"

"Perfectly Pleasantly" I smiled as I worked 

"You alright y/n?" he asked I turned to see him and saw him giving me a strange look 

"What?" I asked 

"Nothing. Just heard your bedsprings a bit this morning."

Immediately I blushed hard but turned to focus on cooking to hide my blush "Ohh, Yes I uhh I spilt my water in my bed this morning it was a bit of a panic cleaning it up" 

"Fair enough" He nods "That's what's on your nightie then?" He asked and just the moment he said that I felt the wet patch on my nightie from... what I had done 

"Yes!" I blushed quickly turning so he couldn't see it 

"Alright. You want a hand drying your bed then?"

"No! thank you. It's alright Dr Dawkins." I blushed as I finished with his breakfast so I turned everything off and took the plate with his crumpet over to his bed he happily took it from the plate having a small bite 

"Umm perfect." He smiled before tapping on his bed so I blushed and sat down beside his knee as he ate 

"Your bed's far softer than mine" I smiled 

"I best be careful then, I might come back one night and see you've swapped out beds over" he joked "And I don't want your bed little nursey, those springs are so bad I hear every time you turn over"

"I shall try not to then."

"You don't have to do that" He chuckled as he finished his crumpet 

"If It would be better-" I began

"You'll really do anything I ask won't you?" he laughs 

"Of course" I blushed 

He gave me a funny look for a moment "Let your hair down?"

I blushed hard enough to turn my face red but I did as he asked me to letting my hair from the ponytail 

"Hold my hand?" 

My heart was racing out of my chest that after all these years something! was to happen between us! and I happily took his hand in mine, he gave it a soft squeeze and brought it to his lips to give my hand a gentlemanly kiss before setting my hand on the bed I was almost fainting from even that tiny amount of attention "Take your dress off?" 

"I- I uhhh" I stuttered but inside my mind 'AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! YES! YES! YES!' I was nervous but I didn't want to waste time moving my hands to the straps of my nightie and tugging them down, I pushed them down to my elbows about to expose my chest when he stopped me 

"Whoa! I was kidding" He laughs sitting up to stop me 

"Ohh" I gulped now utterly red with embarrassment at the fact I was literally two seconds from flashing him! 

"You really will do anything I ask," he chuckled as he softly fixed the straps on my nightie back into place "You're such a sweet little thing" he cooed giving my cheek a kiss "Go on don't let me keep you"

"Alright if you're sure, I'll see you later."

"I'll see you later my little nursey" He smiled laying back in his bed, I smiled my mind screaming at me utterly desperate to kiss him but I forced it away getting up and going back to my own room blushing so hard I had to jump on my bed and squeal into my pillow. 

I was puzzled, I had... finished my work for the day. Often I'd be working long into the night to get my work finished as I often would be rushing off on projects Dr Dawkins would send me off on but, I hadn't seen him all day, and that ached my heart badly. So I ran up to the main part of the hospital and immediately I saw him on his rounds in the ward. 

"Ohh Good Afternoon Doctor Dawkins," I smiled playing with my fingers 

"Ahh Hello Nursey" he smiled as he did some bandage work "Everything alright?"

"I was, just curious. I haven't heard from you today. Didn't you have any jobs for me?" 

"I know. Sorry been absolutely wall to wall today," he explained 

"That's alright, I just wanted to make sure everything was alright." 

"You're sweet." He smiled taking my hand and kissing my knuckles "Everything's fine. go on little Nursey" 

"Yes doctor," I smiled squeezing his hand in the moment before it slipped from mine, I went to go trying badly to hide my blush when I perked up 

"Doctor Dawkins!" A female voice spoke up, and I knew it wasn't Hetti or one of the other nurses I turned quickly and saw that girl. I had seen her a few times in the hospital but I didn't know much about her, but immediately I became like a territorial cat. 

"Oh it's you." he said "To what honour do you bestow us with your visit today then?" 

"The conditions are utterly deplorable! Every single thing in this hospital is disgusting I insist it be cleaned."

"You insist you do?"

"I do. You Laundry girl." She snapped at me "Have every last sheet scrubbed and washed properly immediately!" she demanded 

I was a little shocked not used to having my orders barked at me much less by whomever she was. 

"Give the sheets another wash before you head to bed y/n," He told me, and for a moment I was teary that he took her side so quickly 

"Yes, doctor." I nodded heading back down to the laundry to start again. 

I scampered through the hospital as usual now with even more work than this, woman. was insisting that she had been here every day so far and each day made my heart hurt a little more as she was now spending time alone with Dr Dawkins more than once I had gone into a room and found them alone talking together and it broke my heart each time I did. He had barely called for me at all spending all his time with Belle. I hadn't seen him anywhere around the hospital looking rather concerned as to where he had gone but I stopped short as I heard her voice coming from the morgue, I stopped and lingered at the top of the stairs listening I could hear her talking about... something not sure I couldn't make it out and my body froze as I could hear him. Two talking I tried desperately to listen but I couldn't make out their words I couldn't allow my mind to wander so I headed down the stairs and arrived at the morgue and instantly I felt like bursting into tears. 

He and Belle stood over a body, the room empty other than the two and the body, a scalpel in her hand, his own on her wrist guiding her to make the incision in the skin. They saw me arrive but didn't put a space between them, 

"Yes?" she glared 

"Ohh I uhh I was just looking for you Dr Dawkins," I said sheepishly 

"Oh, I don't have any jobs for you. You can go." He said 

"I- I see. Well you know where I am if you need me" I did my best to force a smile 

"I will do," he said before the two returned to their conversation "Ahh perfect just like that. Very good Milady."

Tears flooded my eyes to hear him call her that, and Immediately without a word, I knew I had been replaced. I wasn't his nursey anymore but she was his Lady, my heart utterly shattered so much my knees went weak and my breath staggered. 

"You alright?" He asked noticing I was still here

"Yes. Sorry Doctor." I answered unable to hold back my tears as I quickly turned and ran up the stairs, I bolted through the hospital reaching the store room shutting the door leaning my back against it. 

Tears flooded down my face, my breathing staggered and desperate between silent wails of pain, unable to control my emotions as my body sunk to the floor. 

After a while I managed to stop crying I think I was so dehydrated I couldn't make any more tears, literally cried out. I left the hospital and went to the cat and bagpipes throwing away all of my money on enough drink to drown my sorrows but nothing seemed to work. So Once I was out of money I staggered back so drunk my inhibitions were utterly void, my shyness gone, and I was ripe for the wicked as anyone who wanted to, rob, murder, or take any advantage of me would find me utterly drunk off my ass unable to even walk straight. I found my way to the hospital eventually and went up to my door but I was unable to stop looking at the door next to my own tears flooding down my face In my drunken state I forced it open slamming it shut behind me to see Jack stood just getting undressed for bed his shirt in hand, his wardrobe open having stopped short given I just burst through his door. 

"Uhh Hi y/n."

"You- You.... Imbolisle!" I slurred 

"What have I done?" He asked very confused about what was happening 

"You know what you did you absolute fudgewomble!"

"Fudge womble?" He laughed 

"You! You... CUNT!"

"Are you drunk?"

 "Don't change the subject!" 

"Y/n what on earth is the matter you've been strange all week," he said taking my hand and trying to bring me closer but I pulled my hand out of his 

"No! I'm not falling for it! No! I'm not doing this anymore! You! You utter monster! you carved open my heart! and left me to bleed! You keep me hanging on your little hand kisses and tiny touches for years! and no matter what I do, how hard I try you give me just enough to keep me hanging, enough to keep me your hopelessly devoted little slave girl!! and then here comes little miss fancy skirt and I'm as worthless as the shit on your shoes!"

"WHoa- whoa- okay." He said trying to calm me down "What's this about?"

"You know what it's about you cruel man!" I cried 

"Y/n Please I swear I don't know what you're talking about, please just sit down and calm down a little" He said gently guiding me to sit on his bed "Now just answer my questions okay, without insulting me if you can" He said holding my hands as he sat in the chair across from the bed "Are you drunk?"

"Yes."

"Why did you get drunk?"

"I thought it would make me stop crying," I said tears slipping down

"Why are you crying?" he asked caressing my cheek and wiping away my tear 

"Because I'm upset!"

"Alright, your upset." He nods "Please, tell me, Hey my little nursey. I can't fix it if you don't tell me what's wrong."

In my drunken state, I said everything I had ever wanted to say to him tears flooding down my cheeks "I loved you."

"You what?" He asked 

"I loved you. Fully. I loved you from the moment I saw you jack, my every waking moment I think of you, you are the very last thought in my mind before I go to sleep and the first when I wake up in the morning, I have built my life around you, what time you wake up, how you like your breakfast, how fast you walk, I have spent my life pining after you, worshiping you, doing everything you have ever asked of me all in the hope that one day you may give me a glance, for even that is enough to spoil me beyond measure, I spend three hours every night catching up on work because I know I can't ever say no to you, my dreams are full of you, my pillow is named for you, and I have spent the last few years of my life with you, so utterly in love that I could never stop even if you asked it of me, I live for the moments we are alone, for the seconds of time that your hand is in mine, and my heart dwells on your kisses for hours, I even find myself kissing where you have just for a hope of a taste of you, your name is carved on my heart jack, I am and always have been hopelessly devoted to you in every possible way, and if you felt even half of what I do for you, you would not be so cruel as to hold her so close to you, to call her lovelingly when I am there. Please. I beg of you. Do not let me see it, for it rips my heart in two. and if you cared for me you would give me mercy and take me from this world rather than expect me to live in it without you." I explained through my tears "I will not stand in the way of your joy, but I cannot face seeing her where I have always desired to be" 

My words had frozen him but I saw tears well up in his eyes, he held my face and gently kissed me.

I wanted to be happy but I knew this was only meery pity. 

He pulled back his nose against my own "I have desired you to be in my arms since the first night I saw you, I have made myself utterly dependent on you, in every way, for in my heart I know I cannot fashion a life without you in it, you are everything to me, without you I am nothing but a shell of a man, you are the grace that keeps me grounded, the softness that reminds me of the sweetness of the world, you are the ray of sunshine first to peak though the storm of my life, without you, I am lost to the dark. you take care of me, you keep me right, and you make this life worth living, You are so needed that I can't go a single day without seeing you for if I do my heart feels weak and heavy. I adore you, I can't face this world without you by my side, you are... utterly incomparable to all else I have ever known."

"All but her."

"No. Please believe me." he begged "She could never fill the hole you would leave in my heart." he whispered, "I love you, hopelessly" 

"Why have you never told me?"

"I couldn't believe that a sweet thing like you, could love a monster like me."

"you're not a monster Jack."

"I am. I have treated you awfully. I swear to you she means nothing to me, I have made you long for the next life. I have broken your heart. and like choosing to step on the first fresh flower of spring, it is unforgivable." 

"But I saw you together." 

"I was teaching her. I had to show her but even still I got too close. And for that I am sorry."

"I heard you call her Milady,"

"she's the goveners daughter I have to" He giggled "It was in jest. not in love." 

"Well now I'm foolish for drinking away and coming here and-"

"I am so thankful you came here tonight." He whispered "Will you ever forgive me? for what I did."

"You're already forgiven" I smiled 

"Stay with me tonight."

"I-I can't"

"Please. I can't bear for you to go."

"I will stay Jack." I nodded unable to control my smile "For how long?"

"For forever." He whispered against my lips 

"for forever" I smiled kissing him with all the passion, all the love, all the utter hopeless devotion I had had for him since the first day I met him and he did the same not letting anything be held back the taste of salt in our kisses from our tears, "I love you jack, Hopelessly"

"I love you y/n hopelessly" He smiled "Come on we need to get some sleep, god knows the hangover you'll have tomorrow morning."

"Ohh noo" I whined

"Don't worry. I'll take care of you" He reassured kissing my head "I'll fetch your nightie" he smiled heading out and soon enough returning with my nightie from my bedroom, I smiled taking it and going to the corner to change but as I removed my dress I felt his arms around me and kisses on my shoulder 

"You shouldn't look." I said 

"I can't help it- you are even more beautiful than I had dreamed you were," he whispered 

"You had dreamed of me? without my dress?"

"Many times." He smiled wickedly "Did you dream of me? without my clothes?"

"I had."

"Come on nursey. Bedtime." He cooed going to his bed 

I finished getting changed and turned to see him in bed with a space for me I blushed but rushed over about to climb in but he stopped me 

"Water. or you will have a bad hangover."

"You know from experience?"

"I do. go on." He said 

I did as he asked drinking a nice glass of water and slowly I climbed in with him laying down with a giggle 

"What?"

"I'm used to cuddling my pillow."

"Me too. funny to think we laid cuddling our pillows with just a wall between us" he chuckled wrapping his arms around me to pull me closer so our noses were an inch from each other I giggled a little and set my hands on his chest

"We were rather foolish, spending our nights dreaming of each other"

"We were. But I don't need to dream of you in my arms any longer"

"me either." I smiled giving him a soft kiss before we both drifted away, I didn't dream I didn't need to, just the feeling of being in his arms was more of a dream than anything I could have imagined.

But I woke up alone, which for a moment shattered me believing it all to be a dream, my head aching "Ughhhh ow ow ow" I whined as I turned over 

"I know I'm coming-" His voice spoke up, I slowly opened my eyes and saw Jack standing cooking up some eggs and bacon half dressed no shirt but his pants with his suspenders left hanging 

"Ohh... Morning-" 

"Good morning." He smiled "You have a hangover?"

"Ummm humm" I nodded

"How bad?"

"Did you remove my brain last night?"

"No."

"Then I think it's bad."

"You were absolutely bloody plastered last night" 

"I was sad."

"I know, Am I to expect that often then?"

"No."

"Good," he smiled "Here we are my little nursey, best thing for a hangover" he smiled sitting the plate on the table by the bed and kissing my temple 

"I should get going..."

"Why?" he asks sitting on the bed with me 

"I figured you'd want me gone" I said sitting up even if it made my head feel like it was bleeding 

He smiled and gave my lips a sweet kiss "I thought you were staying here for forever?" 

“I take it there are gaps in the memory of last night?”

“I'm not completely sure where reality ends and my dreams begin”

“I can't blame you, I was stone-cold sober and I'm having a hard time separating my dreams from reality last night.” he chucked where do you think the line is?”

“I think I came here and insulted you then I dreamt the rest?”

“No, we were awake a while more than that”

“Ohh. So I did actually tell you -”

“You did.”

“And you told me-”

“I did.”

“Oh my-”

“It's hard because it felt so much like a dream” he smiled he stroked my cheek before he moved into a kiss our kiss was passionate and rather excited and I teared up to know all of it was real and that he loved me as much as I do. Our kiss got even more excitable as he began to push forcing me down in the bed but that sudden movement was enough to affect my hangover

“Owwwwww” I whined lying on the pillow

“Oh, right. Sorry” he chuckled “you're not working today, keep yourself here with me and get some rest”

“What about you? You need to work?”

“Sneed can handle it for one day” he smiled “Just till you're feeling better. I can't leave my little nursey all alone”

“Thank you, Jack”

“You're welcome” he smiled “and… you're really cute when you're jealous”

“I am?”

“Utterly adorable” he cooed “Now eat. Drink. And rest,” he says

“I will I promise”

“Good girl” he smiled moving clean against the wall and having his legs over mine I smiled moving so I could see him and he held my hand “I get why I hear your bedsprings all the time. You little one are a wiggler” he laughed “I tried to hold you close all night but you just kept wiggling away from me”

“Sorry”

“It's fine, I'll get used to you” he chuckled “Can I tell you a secret?”

“I'd like that”

“... There is a reason I'm always late, days you come do my breakfast.”

“Oh? Why?”

“I'm always late because I can't resist seeing you in your nightie.”

“Why does that make you late?’ I asked he smirked and simply glanced down to his trousers suggestively “oohhh-”

“Yeah. Especially the other day when you almost took your nightie off for me?”

“I did notice you were very late that day”

“What did you think I was doing?”

“I didn't question it.” I giggled at the thought of Jack lying in his bed taking care of himself because of me “Can I tell you a secret?’

“I'd like that”

“I didn't spill my drink that day”

“No?”

“No”

“So why was your nightie wet? And why was your bed squeaking so much?’

“The same reason you were late”

“Ooh- really?”

“Humm” I nodded

“So that morning before I knocked I sat listening to you?”

“Yes”

“Fuck-” he gasped “I thought I heard my name. Did you hear yours?”

“No, I was quick getting dressed’

“Shame. Maybe next time as well be in my bed together we can just, take care of each other” he smirked “Would you like that my little nursey?”

“I would very much”

“Good, you must move around a lot then because seriously your bed was boarder line constantly making noise”

“I was- I can't -”

“What no tell me.”

“I was riding my pillow”

“You what?’

‘you heard “

“Riding your pillow? As in pillow on the bed, you are on top?” He asked and I nodded “Imagining it was me?”

“Yes” I blushed hiding under the covers a little

“That's adorable” he smirked ‘and a coincidence”

“How?”

“After you left. I laid on my back imagining you riding me. Maybe our dreams are synchronizing” he smiled leaning down to give my lips a sweet kiss moving to look over me as we kissed till he pulled back a bit

“How did you do it?’

“Do what?’

“I was riding my pillow” I giggled innocently

“Oh, just my hand.” He shrugged “I always use my hand I don't have any things to ride on or use like that” he smirked moving a little so his knees were on either side of me “But if you show me, I'll be happy to show you too” he smirked kissing down my jaw and neck

“Uhhh! Jack!” I gasped as I felt his kisses grabbing his hair

“Uhhh- y/n!” He moaned back ripping the covers from my hands “ohh fuck-” he groans looking at me in my nightie

“Owww” I whined as his kisses made he throw back my head which hurt

“Well continue this later. When you feel better” he smiled giving my lips a kiss “That okay?”

“Okay Jack” I smiled giving him a. Kiss “I love you”

“I love you too” 

[edenesth]

How I Met Your Mother

Pairing: husband!Yuta x wife!reader

AU: non-idol au

Word Count: 4.9k

Summary: An innocent question from your eight-year-old son takes you and your husband on a trip down memory lane, nearly a decade ago. You both recount the story of how you first met, where Yuta heroically rescued you from an attempted abduction.

A/N: Based on a dream I had of Yuta, I just knew I had to write about it.

MAIN MASTERLIST

"Mama, papa, how exactly did the two of you first meet?"

Your son, Yuki, was going through an old photo album mainly filled with photos of you and your husband before he was born.

Seeing the younger versions of his parents suddenly piqued his curiosity, making him realise that neither you nor Yuta had ever shared the story of how you initially crossed paths.

Yuta beamed, pulling you closer as you both fondly watched your son flip through the carefully curated album, his eyes sparkling with intrigue. It must have been fascinating for him to catch a glimpse of his parents' lives before his existence.

As memories of your first encounter flooded your thoughts, you couldn't help scrunching up your face, earning a chuckle from your husband as he planted an affectionate kiss on the side of your head.

The way you and he first met wasn't exactly a pleasant memory for you, despite Yuta occasionally bringing it up to brag and tease you about being your knight in shining armour.

It was an unforgettable experience, to say the least.

Although it had been borderline traumatic for you, it was the spark that ignited Yuta's protective instincts whenever it came to you.

You rolled your eyes, a small smile gracing your lips, while your husband cleared his throat eagerly, excited to finally share the story of the beginning of your love story with your son.

"Yuki, my boy, you have no idea how long I've been waiting for you to grow up enough to ask about this."

Your son burst into laughter at his dad's dramatic tone, the exchanged knowing glances between his parents only fueling his curiosity about the story.

"Oh boy, here we go again." You joked but leaned in closer, snuggling into your husband's shoulder, your heart fluttering as he instinctively tightened his hold around you.

"Alright, let's see... It all began one night about ten years ago..."

Your heart thudded loudly in your chest as you continued to distance yourself from the unfamiliar man who had been suspiciously following you for what felt like hours.

It took a while before you realised what was happening.

Perhaps it was your own fault for choosing to go stock up on groceries all alone at this time of the night. Sure, your neighbourhood wasn't necessarily the safest, but at least there hadn't been any crazy crime stories from around the area as of yet.

Well, it looks like I might be the first one.

Clutching your shopping bags tightly, you opted for yet another detour, determined not to lead this stranger back to your home, where he could potentially abduct you or worse, have his way with you, without anyone ever finding out.

A million thoughts raced through your mind, as you imagined all the horrifying scenarios that might unfold tonight. Panic coursed through your veins and you couldn't afford to waste another minute.

Hastily, you pulled your phone out of your pocket and dialled your housemate's number, praying for a lifeline. The ringing felt like an eternity, but it was met with frustrating silence.

Shit, she's not picking up.

You cursed under your breath, clutching your phone tighter, and decided to try other coworkers you knew living around the area. The calls all ended up going to voicemail or, in the best-case scenario, were met with an endless ring.

It was a weeknight, and everyone must be sound asleep.

Your trembling hands struggled to maintain a steady grip on your phone as you felt the stranger drawing closer from behind. The footsteps echoed ominously in the deserted night.

Desperation took over, and you tried dialling another number, your best friend's, hoping he might miraculously be awake. The harsh reality was that everyone seemed to be lost in deep slumber, oblivious to your perilous situation.

Fear gripped your heart as you finally accepted your fate. The stranger's presence loomed closer, sending a shiver down your spine.

It was almost as if god finally heard your prayers.

As you turned a corner, you stumbled upon a man who appeared to be stepping out of his apartment to throw out the trash. He was now on his way back, his back turned to you as he approached the entrance. Your eyes widened in alarm at the sight of this opportunity, and you knew you had to seize it.

With your heart lurching in your chest, you sprinted towards the man, your breath coming in ragged gasps. The sound of footsteps behind you grew louder, and you knew the stranger was chasing you.

You reached the man, your trembling hand gripping his arm, and he snapped to look at you in surprise, "Babe! I called you like a million times, why didn't you answer any of my calls?" You cried out, desperately hoping he'd play along.

Confusion crossed his face.

Much to your chagrin, he began to protest that he didn't know you. But it only took a moment for his gaze to shift from your panicked expression to the strange man skidding to a stop just a few feet behind you.

Seeing the menace in your pursuer's eyes, you whispered shakily, "P-please... please help me. He's been following me for a while now."

The urgency in your voice and the fear in your eyes conveyed the gravity of the situation, and the man's protective instincts kicked in. Without hesitation, he nodded and took a step closer to you.

He smiled reassuringly at you, giving your arm a supportive squeeze, "I'm Yuta. Don't worry, I won't let anything happen to you." He whispered into your ear, his words providing a small semblance of comfort. You nodded appreciatively, grateful for his intervention.

Yuta immediately stepped into the role you assigned him, "I'm sorry, sweetheart. I must've left my phone on mute again." He said, loud enough for the stranger to hear as he pushed you protectively behind him.

Turning to the stranger, he raised a questioning brow and confronted him with a calm but assertive tone, "How may I help you, sir?" Yuta's stance conveyed his readiness to protect you.

You expected the stranger to take the hint, to leave you alone now that your supposed "boyfriend" was around.

But what happened next was unexpected.

The creep didn't appear to be intimidated; instead, he smirked in disbelief, "Don't kid yourself," He sneered, "I know she's not your girlfriend. Just mind your business, step aside, and no one has to get hurt."

Your heart raced in your chest as you gasped, fear grasping at your every nerve, and you clutched the back of Yuta's shirt.

Your breaths were becoming increasingly erratic as the stranger refused to buy into the charade, and dread was taking hold of your every thought. You feared not only for your own safety but also for poor Yuta's. The grip of your fingers on the back of his shirt was almost painful as you held on desperately.

Feeling your distress, Yuta reached behind him to hold your hand, his touch a source of comfort amidst the chaos. He squeezed your hand reassuringly, silently urging you to stay as calm as possible.

Yuta narrowed his brows dangerously in response to the stranger's claim, "Huh, what an odd thing to say," He retorted with a firm tone, "And how, pray tell, do you know she's not my girlfriend?" Yuta's voice carried a subtle edge of menace, and he was prepared to stand his ground.

The stranger, undeterred, took a step closer.

"I suggest you be careful with your every action because we have surveillance cameras installed all over this neighbourhood." Yuta's words were meant to intimidate, but they also served as a warning.

The creep couldn't help tensing up at the threat.

Unbeknownst to you and your stalker, Yuta wasn't alone in this situation. He knew he needed backup and immediately sent a quick text to Mark, his housemate who was a police officer, asking for help using their secret emergency code. As he did so, he continued to hold his ground, doing his best to stall for time, hoping that help would arrive before things escalated any further.

The tension in the air thickened as Yuta and the stranger exchanged veiled threats, each trying to assert their dominance in the standoff. The atmosphere crackled with danger, and it seemed like things could take a nasty turn at any moment.

But then, relief washed over you as Mark, Yuta's housemate, appeared from the apartment gate with wide eyes. Yuta immediately wrapped an arm around your shoulder, his expression shifting from assertive to reassuring.

"Hey Mark," Yuta greeted him calmly, "This guy's been following my girlfriend around the neighbourhood. You're a cop; think you can do something about that?"

Mark understood the situation instantly.

He stepped forward, pulling out his police badge and addressing the stranger with a stern tone, "Sir, is that true?"

Sensing the gravity of the situation and realising that he was now dealing with a police officer, the stranger knew it was in his best interest to give up the charade. He decided to play dumb, attempting to salvage whatever dignity remained.

"Oh, I apologise," He stammered, feigning innocence, "It's just a misunderstanding. I thought she was someone I knew. Now that we have that cleared up, I'll be taking my leave then."

With that, the stranger briskly retreated, vanishing from the scene before you could fully process what just happened. The relief was palpable as the danger lifted, and you were left with the protection of Yuta and the support of Mark, who had come to your rescue.

The moment the stranger was out of sight, the adrenaline that kept you going suddenly drained from your body, leaving your legs weak and unsteady. You felt like your knees were about to give way, and you would have fallen to the ground if it hadn't been for Yuta holding onto you.

"Are you alright, miss?" Mark asked, his concern evident.

You didn't want to do this, but you couldn't help it. You felt tears welling up in your eyes as you broke down in front of your saviours, "Oh my god," You sobbed, your voice trembling, "Th-thank you so much for helping me. Lord knows what he wanted with me."

Yuta held you close, providing a comforting embrace as you tried to collect yourself. Mark stepped in with practical advice, his voice gentle and reassuring, "It's okay," He said, "But I strongly recommend you make a police report about this. It's essential to prevent such incidents from happening to someone else in the future."

You nodded through your tears, thankful for their support.

Relieved by the support and protection Yuta and Mark offered, you agreed to let them walk you home. The companionship and their unwavering presence were comforting as you made your way back.

Along the walk, you introduced yourself and shared the details of what transpired, explaining how the stranger had been tailing you for quite some time before you noticed Yuta when he was throwing out the trash.

Yuta listened attentively, guilt gnawing at him for initially considering turning away from you before realising the danger you were in. He couldn't bear to imagine what might have happened if he had left you to fend for yourself. He vowed silently to always be there for you in times of need.

Mark, on the other hand, made a mental note to keep an eye out for the stranger around the neighbourhood from now on. The incident raised concerns, and he understood the importance of ensuring the safety of everyone in the community.

Upon arriving at your doorstep, Yuta exchanged a silent look with Mark, wordlessly asking his friend for some privacy. Mark nodded knowingly and bid you both farewell before making his way outside, leaving you alone with Yuta.

Looking up at him more closely now, you finally realised how good-looking Yuta was, and before you knew it, your heart began racing for an entirely different reason. He stood before you, nervously biting his lower lip, and you wondered what he wanted to talk to you about.

Minutes felt like hours as you waited for him to speak.

Finally, his cheeks flushed with a slight blush, and he cleared his throat, his voice trembling, "I-it was really nice to meet you, and, umm... now that you know where I live, you can always come to me for help. Oh— uhh... here's my number, you know, just in case..."

You chuckled at his shyness and nodded, taking the name card he held out. Your fingers brushed against his briefly, sending a spark of electricity through you, "Thank you, Yuta," You replied with a smile, "I really appreciate what you did for me tonight. And, it was nice to meet you too."

The tension that filled the air throughout the night seemed to dissipate, leaving a sense of connection and gratitude between you. You knew that you would remember this night not only for the terrifying ordeal but also for the newfound friend who had come to your rescue.

"And that, son, is how I met your mother."

If you thought your son's curiosity would end there, you were wrong. He proceeded with his next question, "Okay, so what happened next? How did you two fall in love?"

You shook your head in amusement as you noticed the excitement building in your husband, ready to delve deeper into the early stages of your love story, "Are you sure you want to find out, Yuki? Once you hear this, no other love story will ever compare to ours."

A laugh bubbled out of your lips, and you playfully smacked Yuta on the chest, "Oh honey, don't listen to your papa. He's being ridiculous," Your husband gasped dramatically, feigning disbelief as he held your hand against his chest, "How dare you? Are you saying our love story isn't the greatest in the world?"

"It's not the greatest love story in the world," You began, snickering at Yuta's pout, "But it is the greatest love story in my heart." Your husband cooed at your words, showering your face with kisses.

Yuki crossed his arms over his chest like the sassy little eight-year-old he is, "Umm, papa? So, are you telling me the story or not?" Yuta pulled away slightly from you, containing his laughter at his son's exasperated expression.

Your husband's penchant for public displays of affection wasn't new, but Yuki still felt a bit embarrassed whenever he witnessed his parents being lovey-dovey around him, "Okay, okay, sheesh. I know you're dying to hear about it, so here we go..."

The following day after the incident, your housemate, Giselle, nearly had a heart attack when she discovered a slew of missed calls from you. Relieved to see you safely asleep in your bed, she couldn't resist checking in on you. And as you recounted the previous night's ordeal, her emotions fluctuated from shock to sly amusement.

After hearing about Yuta and seeing the name card you received, her eyes practically sparkled with excitement, "Ooh, Nakamoto Yuta, huh? Sounds like your next boyfriend to me." She said with a grin.

You chuckled as you playfully threw a pillow at her face, "I swear, you say that about every new guy I meet."

She laughed and shrugged, "Well, maybe this one will be different."

As you contemplated the events of the previous night and the unexpected connection with Yuta, you couldn't help but wonder if Giselle might be onto something.

Your best friend, Jaehyun, finally returned your call after seeing the missed call from the previous night. You recounted the entire incident to him, much like you had with Giselle. Unlike your housemate, his concern was predominantly focused on your well-being rather than the newfound acquaintance, Yuta.

Jaehyun didn't waste any time.

He decided to accompany you to the police station that afternoon during his lunch break from work.

Your best friend blamed himself for not being there for you when you needed him the most, even though it was completely understandable. He was determined to make sure everything was handled properly and that you received the support you needed.

You hadn't expected to run into Yuta again so soon, but it was that very night when you crossed paths while walking back home from the convenience store with your housemate. Ignoring her teasing smirks, you introduced the two to each other, "Oh hi, Yuta! This is my housemate, Giselle. And Giselle, this is Yuta, the kind soul who saved me last night."

Giselle quickly expressed her gratitude, "Gosh, it's so nice to meet you. I can't thank you enough for coming to her rescue!"

Yuta was humble in his response, "Please, don't mention it! It was simply the right thing to do."

His modesty made you feel like perhaps he really was just being a genuinely decent person, and there was nothing more to his kindness. You knew Giselle had a tendency to get carried away with her imagination, always getting you hyped up with false hope.

You exchanged a tight smile with Yuta as you bid your goodbyes. This time, when he offered to walk you home, you politely declined, feeling a sense of independence and confidence that you could handle the walk with your housemate by your side.

It was about a week later that you felt a wave of relief when the police update came in, the stranger who had been following you that fateful night had been arrested for further questioning. It turned out he made multiple attempts to approach other girls in the neighbourhood as well. You hoped this marked the end of that distressing chapter, thinking you might not have a reason to see Yuta again.

Except you were sorely mistaken.

Nakamoto Yuta started showing up almost everywhere.

You saw him at the convenience store, passed him on your way to work and back home, encountered him at the nearby Chinese restaurant, and even spotted him at the library. The first few times felt like mere coincidences, but you gradually began to suspect that he was intentionally crossing paths with you.

One evening, when you decided to go for a jog at the recreational park, you discovered it wasn't just a coincidence.

There he was, running in your direction, his eyes lighting up with recognition as he approached you. It was then that you realised Yuta's appearances in your life weren't accidental; he was actively seeking out opportunities to be around you.

At the recreational park during your jog, you decided to be brave and address the elephant in the room, "Yuta," You began, your heart racing with a mix of excitement and apprehension, "I've noticed we've been running into each other a lot lately. Is there a reason for that?"

His cheeks turned a faint shade of pink, and he looked down shyly before meeting your gaze.

"Well, the truth is," He began, "I've been trying to find ways to talk to you." He paused for a moment, searching for the right words, and then he finally mustered the courage to continue, "I've... I've been attracted to you, and I wanted to get to know you better."

Your eyes widened in disbelief as you tried to process this revelation. Yuta, the kind and handsome Nakamoto Yuta, was interested in you? It felt like a dream come true, and your heart fluttered at the thought. You didn't know what to say, but your smile spoke volumes about your feelings, as you felt your own attraction to him growing with each passing moment.

Yuta's nerves seemed to get the best of him as he mistook your initial silence for rejection. In a quick, slightly frantic ramble, he stumbled over his words, saying, "I mean, it's okay if you don't feel the same way, or if you already have a boyfriend. I completely understand."

But you didn't let him finish his self-doubting monologue. You grabbed his trembling hands with a warm smile, putting his anxieties to rest, "Yuta," You said, "I don't have a boyfriend, and I feel the same way. I'm just as attracted to you."

His eyes widened at your words, and a look of pure surprise washed over his face. Your giggles escaped uncontrollably as you found him utterly adorable when flustered. You felt him tighten his hold on your hand, and he took a step closer to you, closing the gap between you two, a mix of excitement and relief in his eyes.

"Well, if that's the case, will you go out on a date with me?" He seized the perfect opportunity to ask you out, and you didn't hesitate for a moment before agreeing, "I thought you'd never ask." The prospect of spending more time with him filled you with excitement and anticipation.

Later that night, you would meet Yuta for dinner.

Giselle couldn't resist teasing you endlessly as she helped you pick out the perfect outfit, offering fashion advice and supportive comments that made you blush and laugh.

Her closet was a whirlwind of options as she held up dresses, skirts, and tops, "How about this one? It'll look amazing on you!"

You chuckled, sorting through the outfits, "Gigi, it's just dinner. I don't need to overdress."

She winked mischievously, "It's not overdressing if it makes you feel confident!"

Meanwhile, Jaehyun, who came over to check on you, couldn't help expressing his concern, "You know, I trust your judgment, but please be careful, okay? I don't want anything to happen to you."

You sighed, understanding his protective nature, "Jae, I promise, Yuta is a great guy. He wouldn't do anything to hurt me. Besides, are you forgetting the fact that he was the one who saved me that night?"

The reassuring words didn't fully alleviate his worry, but he nodded, accepting your choice, "How can I possibly forget when you keep mentioning it every five minutes? Just promise me to keep your phone on, and let me know if you need anything."

With your housemate's guidance and your best friend's cautionary reminders, you headed out for your date with Yuta, heart fluttering with excitement.

The date with him turned out to be more than perfect. Yuta's caring and attentive gestures made your heart melt throughout the night.

As you dined at a cosy restaurant, he pulled your chair out for you, ensuring you were comfortable. He listened intently as you spoke, asking questions and showing genuine interest in your thoughts and feelings. When you shivered slightly, he casually draped his jacket over your shoulders, ensuring you stayed warm.

After dinner, you took a leisurely stroll through the city park. Yuta held your hand as you walked, fingers interlaced. He pointed out constellations in the night sky and shared anecdotes about his life. His warmth and presence made the conversation flow effortlessly, and it felt as if you had known each other for much longer.

The date ended with him walking you to your doorstep. Before saying goodnight, he leaned in to press a gentle, respectful kiss on your cheek. It was a sweet, soft gesture that left you with a smile on your face as you entered your home.

His kindness, consideration, and charming nature truly made it an unforgettable evening, setting the tone for many more wonderful moments together.

The weeks and months passed in a whirlwind of dates and shared experiences. You got to know each other so well that it became clear you were both ready for a deeper commitment. Yuta had always been serious about the relationship, making it known that he was not interested in anything casual. He reassured you time and time again that he would never do anything to hurt you.

He's been waiting for the perfect moment to finally ask you to officially be his girlfriend.

The moment Yuta had been waiting for eventually arrived, and it was like a scene from a K-drama; unexpected and dramatic. You were walking side by side down the bustling streets of Hongdae one night after watching a movie together.

The city's neon lights created a surreal backdrop. The vibrant energy of Seoul's nightlife buzzed around you, and you were enjoying the company of the person you've grown to care deeply for.

Suddenly, amidst the excitement, someone's touch became too intimate. Panic washed over you as you felt a stranger's hand on your waist, and it moved lower, sending a jolt of alarm through your body. Your eyes widened as you tried to figure out what was happening in this crowded, chaotic scene.

Yuta was quick to pick up on your distress.

His gaze followed your wide-eyed stare, and his expression morphed from curiosity to fierce determination when he saw the inappropriate situation unfolding.

With a surge of protective rage, he moved swiftly, his hand reaching for yours as he pulled you away from the unwelcome intruder. In search of comfort, you pressed closer to him. His face was a mask of fury as he confronted the person who dared to harm you, "Excuse me, what the hell do you think you're doing?"

The stranger's face paled as he realised the gravity of his actions, "I... I didn't mean to..."

Yuta's voice was firm, cutting through the chaos of the street, "It doesn't matter what you meant. You crossed a line you shouldn't have, and that's not acceptable."

The crowd that gathered began to murmur, and the stranger, feeling the weight of the public gaze, backed away, muttering apologies and excuses.

Yuta, standing his ground, continued, "Remember this lesson, and never let it happen again. We all deserve to be treated with respect."

As the stranger retreated into the crowd, Yuta's focus returned to you, making sure you were okay. The fierce protector had shown his dedication to your safety in no uncertain terms.

In that tense and unexpected moment, his eyes met yours, and he seized the opportunity to ask the question that had been lingering between you for so long.

"This is it," He began, "I can't go on like this any longer. Will you let me be the one to always protect you from now on?" He paused, his gaze locked onto yours, a mix of hope and anticipation in his eyes, "Will you... be my girlfriend?"

The crowd around you erupted into cheers and applause, chanting for you to say yes to Yuta. Their enthusiasm was infectious, and you couldn't help smiling at their exuberance.

With a shy yet delighted grin, you nodded, "Of course, I'll be your girlfriend, silly. I've waited too long for you to ask."

His face lit up, his joy evident, and he wasted no time in pulling you into a warm and loving embrace. The crowd's cheers only grew louder as they congratulated the two of you, celebrating the official beginning of your journey together as a couple.

As he walked you home later that night, the atmosphere was charged with emotion. With a mix of excitement and anticipation, he leaned in to kiss you on the lips for the first time. The world around you seemed to fade away as your lips met, and for a moment, it was just the two of you in perfect harmony.

Before the kiss could deepen and become more passionate, the romantic moment was abruptly interrupted by your housemate, who swung your front door open and shouted, "Finally!"

Her sudden entrance startled both of you, and you laughed as you pulled away from the kiss.

Giselle's enthusiastic interruption added a dose of humour to the scene, and Yuta joined in the laughter, your hearts brimming with happiness and the promise of a wonderful future together.

Your son's face was the epitome of adorable scepticism as he tilted his head, looking at his father's dramatic storytelling, "Papa, are you sure that isn't a scene from a drama?" Yuta scoffed playfully, "Of course not! I'm telling you the truth!"

Yuki, with his round eyes, turned to you, seeking confirmation, "Is it really true that's how you and papa fell in love, mama?"

You softened and leaned down to kiss his head, reassuring him, "It's true, honey."

To your surprise, your son's expression turned more serious, "That would mean it's true you've almost gotten hurt twice if papa hadn't been there to save you."

You nodded, touched by your son's concern, and Yuki continued, "Don't worry, mama. I'm here now; I'll protect you too."

Your heart melted at his words, and Yuta cooed with pride, coming over to shower your son's face with playful kisses. Yuki shrieked in ticklish delight, and you stared at the two of them with a fond smile.

You may have nearly gotten hurt in order to meet Yuta, but you wouldn't change your fate for anything in the world. You were incredibly happy with your little family, and your heart was full of love and gratitude for the way things have turned out.

In the midst of this warm family moment, Yuki's curious nature was in full swing. With an innocent yet cheeky smile, he suddenly asked, "So, how did you two have me then?"

Your face turned a shade of red that rivalled a tomato, and you cleared your throat nervously. Beside you, Yuta stammered, his words coming out in a rush, "Whoa, whoa, that's enough questions for today, young man!"

Yuki's eyes sparkled with amusement as he sensed he hit a nerve. Despite the initial flustered reactions, you burst out laughing, unable to contain your mirth.

It seemed like the story of your love, your family, and your son's inquisitiveness would continue to be a delightful adventure.

I've only been writing for ATEEZ so far since they're my current ult, but NCT and I go way back HAHA. I've been the biggest simp for Yuta, y'all don't wanna know about it, I swear.

Anyway, this is me trying out writing for other groups. I have another story featuring I.N from Stray Kids coming up soon as well. My fellow STAYs can look forward to that one.

As always, I'd love to hear all your thoughts, reviews, and feedback, so feel free to leave as many replies as you want! Thank you for reading and hope you enjoyed! <3

All Rights Reserved © edenesth // DO NOT REPOST, TRANSLATE, PLAGIARISE OR REPURPOSE.

[mouwrites]

Kai,Cole, and Jay x Light ninja! Reader that can turn invisible by Manipulating light. Like if your mad at them or one of ninjas catches them stealing their shirts or hoodies reader will turn invisible? But turning invisible takes a lot of energy so they might pass out asleep in the middle of being invisible.

Such a cool power!

Ninjago - Kai, Cole, and Jay With an s/o That Can Turn Invisible

Jay

He thinks your power is the coolest thing ever

He's asked you countless times to use it just so he can see (or I guess... not see??)

He knows it makes you tired, but he just really loves fangirling over how cool it is

And of course he asks you ten million questions about it

Sometimes he'll just pop a question about your powers randomly, even if it's totally off topic

"Can you see yourself in the mirror when you're invisible? Like, obviously I can't, but can you?"

"Wha—we're making dinner plans right now..."

He has absolutely roped you into countless pranks and schemes

You're the perfect partner in crime, and he takes full advantage of this

Sometimes he gets too excited though, and he'll forget that you get tuckered out

Whenever you pass out while invisible, he freaks out

He can't see you, he can't hear you, he has no idea what's happened to you

He'll just start waving his hands around, hoping to bump into you while he apologizes over and over (if it was because he was asking you to use his powers)

When he finds you, and when you come to, he apologizes yet again

He swears he'll never let it happen again

Then he's back the next day with another scheme or a plead for you to "do your thing"

Cole

He has a more quiet admiration for your powers

He does think they're amazing, but he doesn't push you around or ask for demonstrations like Jay does

He just takes what he can get; saving the oohs and aahs for when you actually use it in battle

He knows it tires you out, so he doesn't want to push you to use it when you don't have to

Whenever you do use it, he makes sure to tell you how cool you are

"Have ever I told you how cool you are?"

"Yes, actually."

"Oh. Well I'm telling you again!"

He tries to remind you not to push yourself

The worry he feels when you're unconscious and invisible is a driving factor for this

He really hates that brief moment of panic when he can't find you, especially when you're mid-mission

Whenever you end up pushing yourself too hard, he's always ready to take care of you (once he can locate you, I mean)

He'll carry you if he needs to, quickly delivering you to safety

And ofc snack time is a must, you need to replenish your energy!

He'll whip up the most fiendish yet tasty snacks you can imagine

They're weird, but very filling and nutrient-rich

Like, one time he made you just. a bowl of peanut butter. (with chocolate chips and strawberries and bananas on top)

Protein I guess?

In any case, you'll both feel better if you cuddle while you eat up :)

Kai

He loves to help you get creative with your powers

Especially when it means he gets to show off, too

He thinks your power is super cool, and he wants to see just how cool it can get

He'll push you pretty hard while training, trying to unlock new little tricks and strategies

He does this because he wants you to be the strongest you can be, but also to build up some endurance

He'd hate for you to get tired and pass out mid-battle, so he does everything he can to prevent that

As much as he loves you using your powers in battle, he also knows to be conscious of your energy levels

He'll remind you to cut back a little when he starts to get worried

If you do end up passing out in battle, he totally blames himself

After all he did to protect you—the training, the reminders, watching you carefully—he just feels like he failed you

He'll be completely bummed out by the time you come to again, and he'll apologize sincerely

From then on he'll just keep pushing you harder during training and being gentler on you in battle

It's quite contradictory, but he'd prefer you to pass out in the dojo if you're going to pass out at all

He'll insist on inserting himself in your fights so that you don't have to use your powers, and when you do use your powers he keeps close tabs on you by asking where you are frequently

(Which isn't always helpful, especially when you're trying to go unnoticed)

"Y/n? Where are you now?"

"Trying to be sneaky, if you don't mind!!"

Thank you for your request! And thanks for reading, take care sweethearts <33

(divider by saradika)

[violetrainbow412-blog]

Day 16: stargazing

Masterlist flufftober 🎀

Reblog if you liked it!

You let out a sigh of satisfaction when you finished preparing the back of your father's pickup truck, after several minutes and a lot of effort to stretch the blankets enough. There was a mat, a duvet, sheets, and plenty of pillows so the two of you would be comfortable on the date you had prepared for your boyfriend. Spencer had told you about a meteor shower that occurred every ten million years and that on this occasion would be visible in the region, so he believed it would be a sin not to take advantage of the night to see it together and, in the process, spend a nice time between you. You seemed very excited about the idea and had prepared food to spend the hours that you were going to wait and, of course, a thermos full of coffee to share.

“How does it look?”

“It's perfect,” he replied happily.

He had been busy reviewing some celestial maps that he carried with him, under the light of a flashlight that you had in the trunk. You were in a remote section of the countryside and without all the light pollution of the city the stars could be seen in their maximum splendor, which had you completely fascinated. You had never done an activity like this and you knew how much Spencer was excited about astronomy, so the idea that he wanted to share that with you made you feel special.

You climbed up to the space you had arranged and he immediately imitated you, where both of you sat with your back comfortably leaning on a pair of pillows. You pulled a blanket to cover your legs and those of your boyfriend, who soon intertwined them to shorten the distance.

“I assume you know the constellations, right?”

"I do! At this time of year several can be seen. Like that one over there that is shaped like a trapezoid with a tail, do you see it?” he asked, pointing to a specific point in the sky. You had to admit that you weren't the best at finding shapes in celestial bodies, but you tried with all your might, until you finally understood what he was referring to “That's the Big Dipper, it's the third largest constellation and it's visible for all year round in the northern hemisphere, in addition to being one of the best known and most important in astronomical history. It has eight stars, one of them visible only in very clear places like this and they are called Alkaid, Mizar, Alioth, Megrez, Phecda, Merak, and Dubhe”

“There is a myth in Greek mythology about it, isn't there?”

“Yes, Greek mythology considered Ursa Major to be the bear that Callisto had been turned into by Artemis after being seduced by Zeus. Homer mentions the Bear in Canto V of the Odyssey, in which Ulysses tries in vain to be guided by her to return to Ithaca, his land”

“Wow,” you sighed, as you continued to look up to admire the stars your boyfriend was telling you about.

“When I was a child, I asked for a telescope as a birthday gift and this was the first constellation I learned because if you follow a line a little higher you can find the polar star… that one over there, do you see it?”

"I see it"

“That star serves to guide you because it always points north, so no matter where you are you can find your way if you find it. That way I imagined that whenever I was lost, I could come back home” he confessed to you, with a nostalgic smile on his face.

You stopped seeing the celestial sky to focus on him and you couldn't stop yourself from kissing him when you saw the sparkle in his eyes watching you with enthusiasm. The kiss was gentle and short, just as if you wanted to reward him for his eloquence, and then you settled under his arm with your head resting on his soft chest.

“You probably know a few thousand facts about the stars, or am I wrong?”

“I have never counted them, but from the books I have read I can assure you that it is an approximate amount”

“Well, we still have a few hours until the rain starts so start spitting them all out. I want Sagan to feel threatened in the afterlife by my knowledge of the universe at dawn” you joked and the soft laugh he let out above your head was like music to your ears.

Spencer talked and talked and you listened attentively to everything he had to tell you, only interrupting him to ask questions or to ask him to eat a little or try his cup of coffee. In the same way, you were changing positions as the hours went by, sometimes lying down, sitting, other times he with his head resting on your shoulder, and you even went so far as to sit on his lap, with your back comfortably against his torso while that he spoke kindly in your ear.

"You are tired? Bored?"

“None of that, love” you smiled. Right now you were lying in front of each other, with him absentmindedly tangling a lock of your hair in his finger “It's the most interesting date I've ever had in my life.”

“And it's going to get better, because it's the scheduled time for the main show,” he murmured in a theatrical voice, while he sat down and helped you with one hand so that you were in the same position.

He hadn't lied, because after a few minutes he saw the first star crossing the sky. You gasped in surprise like a little girl would, and your shock only intensified when another star sped past. Suddenly dozens of stars imitated the first ones and your smile grew as a new one appeared.

"Look how beautiful!" you squealed, shaking your shoulder excitedly at your lover, who was smiling the same way you were. “It’s wonderful.”

Spencer felt the need to hug you from the side to enjoy the view and the company at the same time, while you continued to look at the sky with fascination.

“We are experiencing a unique event in our space-time,” he whispered, the words slightly muffled by his lips in your hair. “And… I wanted to give you something equally unique.”

Suddenly you felt his hand take yours and then a metallic object sliding down your ring finger, forcing you to stop looking at the sky to look at him, with an expression of nothing but shock.

“Spencer, what—?”

“It's not what you think,” he hastened to say. You looked at the jewel and realized that it was a delicate ring that was completely smooth and silver in color. “It is a promise ring, it is used to… well, to promise a loved one that at some point it will be replaced by one that involves a greater commitment," he explained to you, suddenly becoming a nervous wreck "I thought about giving it to you today because I love you so much and I wanted you to know that I would like to go further with you, if you accept me”

"Darling…"

"Do you like it?" he insisted and you were forced to drown his fears with a prolonged kiss on the lips.

“Of course it does. I love you so, so much and you don't know how happy this makes me, I wouldn't want to be with anyone else in the vast universe. I'm serious"

That was enough of an answer for him and then you settled down again to enjoy the rest of the astronomical phenomenon, knowing that you would only be able to forget that night when the time necessary to witness another of those meteor showers had passed.

taglist: @navs-bhat @reidwritings @tricia-shifting14 @spencerslove @vivian-555 @r-3dlips @rhiannonhippiegirl @taygrls @simp4f1 @sdddoobydoobydoo @taintedstranger

[apocalypse-shuffle]

BATMAN | BATFAMILY (assorted canon)

—

“Long Overdue” (Bruce Wayne x Batmom!Reader)

| Reader was with Bruce in the past but grew distant after Jason’s death. No one tells her when he comes back from the dead until Bruce is forced to bring her in on an ambush when they’re overwhelmed.

-Jason and Batmom!Reader reunion.

| SFW, canon typical action, cursing, past death of a child, Reader & Bruce are divorced, -angry!reader

| This is like half fanon half UTRH/Batman:Hush. I’m really just fucking around with canon rn. Also the pictures used are just for aesthetics and have no contextual meaning to the story. (pic source: Batman - Three Jokers comic)

| 1k+ words

| parts: one, spurt, two, three, four, five, six/six point five, seven.

Bruce clears his throat for the third time in ten minutes.

In contrast you roll your eyes for the third time in just as long before bending over to switch on the A/C. The Batmobile got stale whenever Bruce started binging. The vehicle not smelling like old blood and sweat stopped being important once your ex husband neglected his duties as Bruce Wayne.

Once upon a time that negligence would have worried you. Still does even if you vehemently tamp it down.

Another clearing of his throat.

“Spit it out already.” You hold your arm tighter to your chest at a bump in the road as you watch him, bullet wound treated rudimentarily enough to hold you over until you get to the cave but still adding to the scent of blood.

Bruce isn't a meta-human; he still emoted even if he did it in such small increments that the untrained eye wouldn’t catch on. You were far from untrained though; you’ve been speaking Bruce almost as long as Alfred has and so you see the twist of fearangersorrow that flashes across his face.

The same damn twist of fearangersorrow from the last days of you and Bruce’s relationship. This time around your stomach doesn’t drop and your body doesn’t flare, mirroring those same emotions. You don’t answer Bruce's natural pull at all in fact, only sigh as you do your best to keep your arm from jarring.

“I didn’t come here to fight. Say what you want.”

Not that you expected to get much leeway on that front. Asking Bruce to communicate without a million half truths was like asking a baby to scrape the paint off thirty feet walls. It could be done technically, it would just take a lot of patience and outside assistance.

His hands tighten on the steering wheel, gloves creaking, before he works through the motions of forcing himself to relax.

“You’re not going to like it.”

“Bruce, when's the last time I liked anything that came out your mouth?”

“You were on a video call with Dick and you laughed when I was complaining about that mite infestation in the cave.”

Of course he would remember that, living filing system that he was.

“Yeah, I was laughing at you,” you clarify with a tiny snort and Bruce gives you his faint smile.

“I know,” he says voice gone soft. You have to clench your eyes shut against the onslaught of emotions that tone elicits. How long has it been since you’ve heard it? “I'm…sorry.”

You don’t think he’s talking about the joke.

“Bruce-”

“I know,” he repeats before pausing. You recognize the active way he’s composing himself and something in you can’t help but to shrivel up. What could be so bad that he's acting nearly as off as when he had to explain how Joker killed your son to you?

Your heart pumps faster in your chest like it wants to run away from the impending news, and you have to open your mouth so that your breaths don’t begin to stutter. No more, not after Jason, you can’t take another death.

In an attempt to avoid the nearing collision of your anger and worry at Bruce gearing up to drop yet another bomb on you and straight up verbally expressing he’s sorry about it beforehand - which what the hell? - you run through what you know.

He could just be acting funny about a shared account you forgot to separate. That’s always a possibility. You focus on keeping your breathing level.

You’d seen Dick and heard from Babs tonight, talked to Dick on how to not burn down his house whilst cooking just three afternoons ago and he’d mentioned Alfred doing fine then. Hopefully that still rings true. The newest Robin that’d been dragged out of a collapsing building last week would still be recovering and no one had mentioned Timothy adding to his injuries so it likely wasn’t him that had Bruce like this, and you haven’t heard anything negative or otherwise about Batgirl.

Even this new Red Hood guy didn’t seem to be much of a problem outside of you not knowing who the hell he is and him being all up in your business earlier. You’d take a lot of shit over the dysfunctionality of you and Bruce’s relationship, but not from a stranger. Besides, you weren’t omniscient - that was more Alfred’s deal - so you weren’t exactly the best gauge on the greater intentions of the city’s newest crime boss. You made a habit of not looking too closely at Gotham’s vigilante scene if you could help it.

Joker did go by that once though, right before his metamorphic dip in a vat of acid green, but you knew it wasn’t the clown under that helmet. For one, Joker didn’t fight with Hood’s brute strength and honed finesse and secondly you knew for a fact the green haired bastard was in Arkham right now. Alive and well.

Your hands clench at the reminder.

“You let him live!”

“We are not executioners, Y/n!”

“Uh uh. Absolutely not, that’s where you’ve got me fucked up.” You take a deep breath before gesturing towards the expanse of Gotham. “When you choose over and over for this man to live you are explicitly signing everyone else’s death sentences, and how you don’t see that is beyond me.”

The way Bruce shakes his head is almost reflexive.

“We always stop him before he can do anything like that.”

“Oh really? Always? Because I got a son six feet under that says otherwise, and last time I checked so do you.”

Bruce twitches. “We don’t trade lives.”

You stare at him, your frustration a harsh nearly livable thing at that moment. The memory of him throwing you off the Joker, of the screaming match afterwards, makes your tongue taste like ash.

“Sure we do,” you murmur. “You just won’t see it that way.”

“We. Don’t. Stoop. To their level, Nightfall,” he accentuates gruffly and just as suddenly as it came your anger rushes away with the next gust of wind that lashes at your face.

An argument on methodology is not what you came here for. You're furious about The Joker, you have no doubt you always will be, but that fury isn’t what drove you to hunting Bruce down on a random rooftop. Joker isn’t what got you back in your suit on this night. Bruce is.

Bruce Batman who’s clearly getting ready to turn this into a thing again.

“Bruce. Bruce stop it.”

You look at him. Really look at him for the first time in weeks and something just…clicks. Bruce and you have been standing at a precipice this whole time. This was it. How Bruce handled Jay’s death was either going to make or break you. And if Dick going virtually no contact had been the trial run the continual state of your marriage wasn’t looking too good. No more kids to patch up the cracks. No more looking away from new cracks formed.

Your mask gets pulled off a second later.

“My baby is dead, Bruce. We had to bury our mangled son today and you want to go out and be Batman when Bruce Wayne is needed at home. I don’t want to argue philosophies, I want you to leave the cape at the door and be here for me as my husband.”

Problem was that Bruce hadn’t been able to do both, and by the end of that interaction you’d punched him for it. Punched him for your son too. One failed attempt and all of a sudden he couldn’t kill Jason’s killer or let you do it for the both of you. No, he’d cracked down instead. It would be inexcusable and he’d clash with you the whole way.

You can admit to yourself that you gave up because you didn’t want to be faced with the possibility of Bruce throwing you in jail over the Joker. He’d stopped you from wiping him from the earth three times at that point, who’s to say he wouldn’t have eventually caved and gotten you committed?

Bruce couldn’t balance being the husband to a grieving wife and being the grieving father of a murdered son. Couldn’t handle being Bruce Wayne when The Batman was so much simpler; easier to hide behind than confronting everything. So he retreated.

In a way you understood, the death of a child wasn’t something you walked away from at all in some cases and it certainly changed you in every situation, but you were supposed to have been able to deal with that blow together.

Bruce’s voice, tight and broad, less Bruce and more Bat once more, brings you out of your head.

“A few weeks ago the Red Hood made his presence known after an undisclosed amount of time hiding below the radar in Gotham with a duffel bag full of severed heads.”

You hum lightly having already known this. Dick got chatty when he was stressed.

“A few days after that Red Hood and I got in an altercation wherein he unmasked and gave me his blood and fingerprints. Both that I then tested…”

Behind your mask you squint, breath rushing out of you as another possibility you hadn’t dared to let yourself think comes to mind. Grief’s most dangerous wish. You start shaking your head. It's a useless attempt to not let the pieces come together.

“The results matched that of Jason Todd’s,” there’s a moment of brief wrenching stillness before he adds quieter, as if his veneer of control has suddenly been punched out of him. “Our Jason….”

…TBC

NOTES: Hope you enjoyed! Comments would be appreciated if you wanted to leave one! I read all of them, I only don’t respond cause this is a side blog.

P.S.: It’s gonna come off like I hate Bruce in the later chapters (only sometimes irl) so yeah. Apparently I’m just getting out some general Bruce frustrations with this, so fair warning. This is not a happy ending for his ass.

[dira333]

Doomed to love you - Kakuzu x Reader

Warning: Angst with a bit of fluff, Dark Themes, no happy end - it's Kakuzu after all...

Words: 4,6k - tagging @snuggleboots, @missalienqueen and @wing-ed-thing because I think you might like it

Bonus points if you get what the Kid's names are all about...

10.

His father’s hand is heavy on Kakuzu’s shoulder.

Across from him, your mother does the same with you. 

You’re shorter than him, your long hair tied into pigtails. There’s the ghost of freckles over your nose, but it could also be the sunlight, broken into a million pieces by the cascading waterfall Takigakure is soon going to be famous for.

You look like a kid, which shouldn’t be that weird. He’s just got ten years old himself.

But everyone at the Academy aims to look older while you seem perfectly fine looking the way you are.

The grip on his shoulder changes, shakes him out of his reverie.

He looks up at his father who stares down at him. Right. Don’t expect any help from the old man.

When he turns toward you, you’ve put your hands in front of your mouth as if to hide a smile. Your mother looks tired.

“Shake hands.” She tells you - or him?

So he does, stretches out his hand for you to take, and watches with almost morbid fascination as you lean down and press your lips to the back of his hand.

By the laws of his and your Clan, you’re married now. 

There are no laws for Divorce in Takigakure yet.

-

Your mother dies a year later.

You move in with him because he’s your husband and has to care for you. His father likes to remind him of that every time there’s not enough food on the table for all three of you. 

A good man, his father declares, makes sure that his wife has enough to eat.

A good father, Kakuzu wants to throw back at him, would make sure his child doesn’t have to go hungry. But he doesn’t. Because while he might not be scared of anything, he’s too smart to get into trouble with the old man. It’s less risky to stay hungry and give his portion to you.

By the time he’s twelve, he’s doing odd jobs on the side whenever he can, handing you the money whenever he’s sure no one can see it. 

You’re a quiet one. He’s too tired to talk most nights anyway, so he’s glad you don’t chew off his ear when it’s time to slip into bed at night.

Ever since his father took up drinking and lost the house, they share a single room and huddle together for warmth at night. 

-

“Kakuzu,” You whisper. His eyes snap open, Kunai ready. It takes him a moment to realize it’s you. You haven’t spoken in so long he’s forgotten the sound of your voice.

“What?”

“Sh.” You move a little closer. Your legs are warm against his. He’s never noticed before how warm you are. “Don’t wake your father. I’ve got a job.”

“A job?” He furrows his brows. “You should still be in school.”

“Like they teach me anything useful.” You quip back at him. “There’s this rich family who’s got a gaggle of kids. I make one hundred ryō an hour looking after them.”

His mouth waters at the number. One hundred ryō could buy him a decent meal every night.

“How many hours are we talking?”

They get to planning. Two days later everything is set in motion. They move out while his father is out drinking, taking with them what little stuff they can find use in. There are no rules that forbid them from signing a lease on an apartment now that he’s a full-fledged Shinobi, even at twelve years old. 

You celebrate your first night with a home-cooked meal, the best he’s ever tasted. Sure the Miso soup could have used a little bit more salt and the fish had been charred at the edges, but there was no one looming over him, taking away all the good pieces, ruining every conversation with drunken rambling.

“I will never be like my father.” He promises and you smile. It lights up your face, and transforms you into a being of light and lightness. 

Kakuzu’s only twelve years old, but he’s seen death and he’s seen misery and he knows, without a shadow of a doubt, that if this is what love is, he will never get tired of it.

-

Kakuzu’s fifteen when he catches an illness that almost kills him.

Painful spasms shake him as he coughs, skin aflame with a fever that wants to devour him whole.

He barely remembers anything but finding himself with his head in your lap, your hands moving through his hair.

There’s a strange lightness to your voice as you talk to him. He can barely focus on your words but they sound like magic, like you’re summoning something from deep inside him.

When he wakes up from a deep slumber days later you look younger, somehow.

“What was that about?” He asks from the safety of his bed. One day, soon, he will buy a new mattress and a proper Couch, but it held out the last three years and he wants to have a bit more saved, feel a bit safer before he starts splurging again.

“What do you mean?” You’re at the stove, cooking something. He can smell ginger and citrus. You’re a terrible liar.

“You know what I mean.”

“No, Kakuzu, I don’t know what you mean.”

“Don’t bullshit me!” His temper comes and goes like a lightning strike, leaving him weak and shivering.

You stare back at him, eyes wide.

“I’m sorry.” He crawls out of bed. “I’m sorry.”

-

Kakuzu is fifteen when he finally understands the terms and conditions of this marriage.

Some Kekkai Genkais let you live longer than others. 

On paper, it could be really just that simple. Your Kekkai Genkai lets you live on for years and years and years, your only threat the darkness of your mind.

“Many of us have killed themselves after they lost their partners.” You explain with his head in your lap again, your hand in his hair.

“Is that what happened to your mother?” You don’t answer his question but he can tell the truth from the way your eyes lose their light.

“But why me?” Kakuzu asks, two days later when you’ve curled up next to him after Dinner. 

“I have two theories,” you explain softly. “Your Clan has brought forward many members with an exceptionally long lifespan.”

“And the other theory?”

“My Kekkai Genkai feeds on negative emotions. Misery. Sickness.” You fall silent. He doesn’t need you to keep going. He knows his family.

His father, who’s still not managed to drink himself to death. Whose temper is so famous that he’s often sent on three-man-missions alone. 

His grandfather, who’s rumored to have killed his first wife over a burnt meal. Who’s still alive because he’s too stubborn to die, living off the roots of the great tree on the edge of Takigakure.

“I’ll never be like my father.” He promises you, again. You press a kiss to the back of his hand like you did when you met for the first time. It’s the only answer you give him. 

-

Kakuzu is eighteen when his comrades make jokes about his wife.

They call her the beauty of Takigakure, say she’s even prettier because she never opens her mouth.

He gets cut from the mission roster for two weeks because he breaks one guys chin, and stabs the other guy in the thigh.

If you mind the blow to your wallet, you don’t show it. You’ve always been good at making a decent meal with the least amount of money spent.

But you sit him down when it happens again, a few months later.

“Stop it,” you tell him. “You’re becoming like your father.”

Fear engulfs him. He feels like he’s drowning, like that time he was six and his father threw him into the big cave, told him to swim or sink. 

Warm lips press onto his, breathe oxygen into his lungs. He holds onto your waist to keep himself from going under once again. 

As long as you’re there, as long as he has you, he will be able to keep afloat.

-

20.

Kakuzu turns twenty just two days before his daughter is born.

She’s got his eyes and your hair, his voice and your eerie stare.

You take one look at her and shake your head, sorrow washing over your features.

“What?” He asks, scared for his life. He’s never seen anything as precious as this little thing in your arms, that’s living and breathing and depending on him. 

“She hasn’t got my Kekkai Genkai.” You say, the words like a knife to his heart.

“Are you sure?”

“One hundred percent.”

The nurse, an old woman that helps with births and the like for a few scraps of meat and a few coins on the side, pats your head.

“What a beautiful healthy thing you’ve got. Cherish it, will you?”

He can see the light dim in your eyes. He makes a promise to himself that even though it might flicker, he will make sure that it does not go out. Ever.

-

Kakuzu likes this little life of his.

He likes waking up to his daughter on his chest, gurgling and garbling, grabbing everything her little hands can get. He likes the sight of you feeding her, how her cheeks are plump and warm, her belly full of milk. He likes seeing you in the village unexpectedly, knowing that the bundle tied to your front is the living, breathing proof that you like him enough, that he might even love you. 

It makes everything seem a little less burdensome. Passing his father in the streets, pretending not to hear the insults. Gong on missions that aren’t paid nearly enough for the danger they bring. The lack of good meat on the market, the hunger of the people in the streets. 

Being able to come home to you, to your soft smiles and his daughters quiet mumbles.

He could live like this, he thinks. Forever, if necessary.

But his daughter is named Fū, after the soft winds that come and go. 

When she’s just two, a sickness falls over the village. You do everything you can but just as the wind does not stay, neither does Fū.

-

Silence has fallen over his home.

Silence has fallen over Takigakure.

There are mornings when he hardly gets out of bed. There’s barely enough money in his pocket to afford the few scraps of meat that are offered at the market. But the beer is cheap.

If he drinks one, he can almost forget the way Fū looked in his arms. If he drinks five, he can almost forget she ever existed.

-

There’s a sharp pain in his left leg.

Kakuzu blinks himself awake and tries to pull away. 

“Stop it.” Your voice is hard and cold.

“What-”

“You stepped into broken glass.” You tell him. “I’m sewing you back together.”

“Don’t.” He mutters meekly. 

“Why not?”

“I don’t-” He stops. He doesn’t know.

“You promised, remember? You wouldn’t become like your father.”

“I’m not-”

“Kakuzu.” You move, your face now above his. You’ve turned younger again. Have you taken all his misery? 

“You should just leave me.”

“I will never, ever leave you.” From you, it sounds more like a threat than a promise. He closes his eyes for a second. Fū blinks back at him. He opens his eyes again.

“What do you want?”

“For you to stop drinking.”

“Granted. What else?”

You falter. “I-”

He sits up and grabs your arms. You’re so close now he can taste your breath. It’s a good thing Fū never got your eyes. There’s a truth in them he will probably never get used to.

“I’ll tell you.” You promise. “Not today. But I will tell you.”

-

He does not touch a drop of alcohol ever again.

Six months later he’s one of the most renowned Shinobi of his village, not that it pays much.

Konoha is a steadily rising threat in the distance but at least the crop is good this year, leaving everyone well fed.

When he returns home from yet another mission, bruised and bloodied, loneliness hanging off him like a second skin, you take his hands and press it to your belly.

“I want to be a mother.” You tell him, eyes alight. “Again and again and again.”

Kakuzu almost shatters at the prospect.

He’s barely survived losing Fū. How can he go through that again?

But he owes you. For keeping him alive. For giving him Fū. For liking him enough.

He watches your belly grow and wishes for a way to know if this one will inherit your Kekkai Genkai or the lack of his.

Two days after his second child kicks for the first time, he’s called to the village leader.

The mission is as simple as it’s deadly. Kill Hashirama Senju. 

He will not survive. He will not see his child grow up. But he will also not have to see it die.

Still, there’s something he can do about this. Milk the opportunities he’s got. 

“What’s in it for me?” He asks, his nose lifted to the sky. “I have a family to feed.”

You’ve never clung to him as tightly as you do the day he leaves.

When you kiss him goodbye he can taste the words you’ll never say.

Don’t go. Don’t leave me behind. I love you.

He bends down and presses a kiss to the swell of your belly.

“Take care of your mother for me.”

-

You must have bewitched him. Cursed him in his sleep.

That’s the only reason he can find why he survives. It had been a suicide mission after all.

He returns home, glad to be alive. He’s stopped at the village entrance, dragged through different caves than those who’d lead him home. To you. To the child that’s about to be born.

Kakuzu misses all of it. 

Instead, he’s sentenced to life in prison. And for what? For not dying on a mission that was meant to kill him?

He’s too proud to beg for forgiveness. But he asks for word on you. 

They refuse him even that.

All that’s left is Fū, who visits him in his sleep. And you, whose voice he can hear in every waking hour. It’s the only thing keeping him from going insane. 

-

The gurgling laughter alerts him.

It’s a sound that doesn’t belong in a prison.

“Shhhh….” A voice whispers. He knows that voice.

He calls your name, desperate to prove to himself that he hasn’t lost his mind.

You step out of the shadows into a lone ray of sunshine breaking through the cave walls. You’ve gotten a little older. Life up there must have been treating you well.

There’s a bundle tied to your front. You step closer, lift the bundle through the bars that have been made to keep out grown men, not a newborn baby.

“Her name is Mito,” you tell him quietly. “She’s got my Kekkai Genkai.”

Mito. To hope, to wish, to desire. It’s a fitting name for the little girl that’s peering up at him. She’s got your eyes, too. 

“I’ve not been a good husband to you.” He tells you. “You should leave me. Find someone who’s a better fit for you.”

His words say one thing. His arms cradling Mito close another.

You reach one hand through the bars, cradle his cheek. 

“I’m bound to you.” You state. “I will go nowhere without you.”

Kakuzu looks down at Mito, how she fits into his arms just as perfectly as Fū did.

“What life can I give you?” He asks the little girl. Her chubby fingers try to grab the marks on his hands. Prison tattoos. 

Your thumb presses against his cheekbone. His eyes flicker up to yours. There’s a determination in them he’s never seen before.

“I’m bound to you.” You repeat. “Not to this village.”

-

Kakuzu feels strangely nostalgic as he leaves the city, four beating hearts and a forbidden Jutsu in his possession.

In a way, it’s just like when you fled his fathers house, took everything with you what you could use. 

This time he’s not holding your hand through it.

This time you’re waiting on the other side of the cave system, the little ox wagon hidden from sight.

Mito sleeps soundly when he arrives, bloodied and proud.

She sleeps through everything. Her parents departure from the only place they ever called home. Her father's transformation through Earth Grudge Fear. 

He briefly wonders if she notices a difference when she looks at him. If his little girl can tell the difference between the man he was before and the man he is now.

Because he can tell that it has changed you.

You grow older outside of Takigakure. There’s not enough Misery to sustain you. One morning he wakes up to crowfeet around your eyes. He finds a grey hair on your head a week later.

It brings a new fear to his life.

And fear brings out demons he didn’t know he carried.

The little house he built for you lies in ruins over a fit of anger.

Mito hides behind you, fear in her eyes that look so much like you. 

He’s breathing hard, doesn’t even know why he flipped in the first place.

You rake a hand through his hair, pull him close until your heads touch.

He can taste your breath, can feel the misery lift off him.

“Tomorrow,” you tell him calmly, “You will leave. Go on a mission. Bring me back a son.”

-

50.

He’s fifty now. 

Mito got married last year. He barely sees her anymore.

There’s a clear distaste in her voice when she speaks to him.

She looks at him like he looked at his father.

Does she promise her husband that she will never be like her father?

Does he believe her?

Because Kakuzu has seen what her temper can do. 

She’s his daughter after all.

Yet, he believes in the power of names. He believes that she can be what she desires.

His youngest daughter is two months old. You named her Rin in his absence.

He’s missed her birth, Han’s too. But he held your hand through Yagura’s birth, pretended not to shatter on the inside when you took one look at the little boy.

“He’s not got the Kekkai Genkai.” 

Still. Yagura might be his favorite child.

He’s a quiet boy. Likes to hide behind Utakata when no one’s looking for him. 

Utakata is his oldest living child, found on that first mission that you sent him on.

“Bring me back a son,” you had said and he’d thought it nonsense until he stumbles over him, starving on the side of the road.

-

Kakuzu doesn’t mind coming home now. He doesn’t mind staying away either.

It’s a fragile thing, this thing between the two of you.

Should he call it love? He doesn’t have anything to compare it to.

He knows you’re never lonely, not with the gaggle of kids that run around your feet all day. He knows you won’t age, not when there’s almost always a kid that cries because it got hurt in one way or another. Not when there’s a growing village nearby, of farmers and their women, with a baker and a monk, all of them looking for someone to tell their sorrows to.

He knows his temper is better left outside his home, directed at people who have the misfortune of crossing him at the wrong time in the wrong place.

Yet he longs to be by your side just as much as you long to have him with you.

He can tell by the way you pull him close when he’s home. How there’s no one allowed to sleep in your bed but him. 

When you kiss him, he feels like everything will turn out all right, eventually.

When you hold him close he can almost forget the way Fū looked the day she died.

When he’s got his arms around you, nose buried in your hair he can pretend he won’t die the day Yagura dies.

-

67.

Long before he turns seventy, Kakuzu understands how you feel.

He still looks barely past thirty. It might be Earth Grudge Fear or a Kekkai Genkai his Clan never bothered to explore, but you and he both have lived too many years on this cruel earth to still be this young.

He’s so tired. 

Mito lost her first child to a famine.

Yagura lost an arm trying to save Utakata from a mob. So what if his son was born in the land of water? That does not take away his right to live!

There will never be an end to this madness, this sorrow.

There will never be an end to your life if you don’t make sure of it.

“Don’t die.” He tells you at night.

“Don’t die.” You tell him when you see him off.

There’s but a thin line separating the two of you from death and it’s the other's presence.

He cannot leave you behind. He will not leave you behind.

If this isn’t love, what is?

-

81.

Kakuzu’s barely over eighty when he meets Pain.

Bright orange hair and eyes as cold and determined as yours.

He pretends he’s not interested. But he is.

He’s long grown impatient of this world. Of its neverending cycle of pain and misery and sorrow. Why must his children die? Why must you suffer to stay alive? Why must he stay away from you to keep you safe yet come back to make sure you keep on living?

Mito barely looks at him now. 

She’s learned by now that she can never outrun his temper. It’s etched into her bones.

Yagura has grown almost silent after the loss of yet another of his siblings.

He’s a grown man, hair turning grey, yet he still crawls into his father's lap when he’s home. 

He wants to go back to the simple days. 

If only he could turn back time. 

If only he could hold Fū one more time. 

-

91.

Hidan trails behind him.

There’s movement in the bushes. 

Hidan reacts immediately, draws his scythe, curses loudly.

“Shut up.” Kakuzu gnarls. His hand shoots out, catches the perpetrator around the neck.

It’s a little girl, Kunai drawn. His mouth turns dry at the sight. Her eyes remind him of his little Rin, never mind the fact that Rin’s already got three kids of her own.

“Let me down!” She screams bloody murder at him. He drops her like she asked for. She runs away with bloody knees.

“Aw, why did you let her get away?” Hidan asks. “I could have sacrificed her.”

“Take grown-ups for that.” He huffs. 

They rest in an inn that night.

Kakuzu thinks of you like he always does when he counts his money. He should check in with you soon, to make sure you’ve got enough for the next months. Winter has been hard this year and you’ve picked up another stray. He got a beetle plush at a fair last month, won it in one of those rare moments when Hidan’s occupied with something stupid. He knows Yagura is going to love it.

“We do offer some special fun if you’re interested.” The innkeeper's grin speaks volumes.

“What do you have in mind?” Kakuzu asks. He’ll kill the guy if he gives him a reason to.

And the guy is stupid enough to do so, dragging a filthy little girl out of the kitchen.

It’s the girl that tried to trap them in the woods earlier, clothes filthy from crawling around the kitchen.

“How much for her?” Kakuzu asks before he can stop himself. The girls' eyes remind him of Fū in this low light. The price is low, telling of the man’s desperation. Or maybe he’s just not a good businessman.

“I’ll take her.” He pays upfront and demands another serving of food, pushing it toward the girl who’s now sitting next to him, trying to crawl into herself. 

“Eat.” He demands roughly. “You’re nothing but skin and bones.”

“I’ll let you have your fun then.” The innkeeper moves backward, a slimy grin distorting his face.

“Hidan,” Kakuzu’s tone lacks any emotion. “Take care of him. But be quiet about it.”

-

They leave the next morning a little richer - dead innkeepers don’t need any live savings - and with a child slowing them down.

“What’s that all about? You a pedophile?” Hidan eyes the kid curiously.

“Shut up.” 

They turn away from the main road.

It’s less than two days over the mountains if they keep moving at this pace. Most of the time he’s got to carry the kid anyway.

“What’s your name?” Hidan asks the first night when they’re sharing a rabbit Kakuzu caught.

“Kushina.” The girl says before directing her eyes at Kakuzu. “Are you going to kill me?”

“Why should I?” He asks roughly. “There’s no meat on you.”

-

A rustling in the bushes gives him away.

Kakuzu stops short, hand outstretched to keep Hidan back.

“Yagura.” He calls. “I’ve already spotted you.”

Yagura steps out with a smile. His hair has turned almost completely grey yet his eyes are that of a child.

“Have you got me a present?” He asks.

“Why would I get you one? You still suck at hiding.”

Yagura just laughs, stills when he spots Kushina.

“Oh! You brought me a friend!” He crouches down in front of the girl, his remaining hand outstretched. “Hi. I’m Yagura. Do you want to meet my Mom? She likes children.”

Kushina looks up at Kakuzu as if asking for directions. He jerks his head, telling her to go.

Yagura whisks her away, never as quick on his feet as when he’s presented with a new sibling.

Hidan’s muttering something behind him.

Right. He shouldn’t have brought him here.

“Listen.” He mutters darkly. “You can turn around and go back to the village we came from. I’m going to meet you there in a week.”

“No way.” Hidan grins. “I want to see what you’ve got hidden in the woods. Some secret family?”

“So what?” Kakuzu gnarls. “If you dare to threaten them-”

Hidan falls silent, face strangely void of any emotion. 

“Fine.” He huffs eventually. “But if you’re late, I’ll leave without you.” He turns back, coat swishing behind him as he moves quickly.

Kakuzu’s not sure what he did to be granted such a favor, but he’s not going to second guess it.

He rarely gets time off as it is.

-

Kushina’s already laughing freely with Yagura by the time he has to leave again.

All those years of misery forgotten in just a few days.

You pull him close, hug him tight.

You barely look older than thirty. 

Most people tell you that life must have treated you well.

Kakuzu knows the truth.

“What’s your next target?” You ask.

“The main one in the land of fire.” He recalls. “The nine tails.”

“That’s the worst one, right?” You ask. There’s something scratching at the back of your throat.

“What’s wrong?”

“I’m so tired.” You tell him. “I’m so tired, Kakuzu. I want to go home.”

“I know.”

He kisses you, tries to tell you through touch what he cannot say with words.

I love you. Don’t leave me. I’m with you till the end.

“This is the last one.” You tell him when he pulls away. “You hear me? No more kids. No more missions.”

He nods. “I promise.” He says but he knows just as well as you do that his promises don’t mean much.

“I love you.” You whisper, for the first time in over eighty years.

You’ve never had to say it before.

Later, when it’s much too late for it, he’ll wonder why you said it.

He’ll regret he never said it back.

[mint-yooxgi]

{20} - Hotel California - Yandere!Demonic Entities!Ateez X Reader

Yandere AU & Demon AU - Based off of This ask and Hotel California by Eagles

Genre: Mature, Horror, Angst, Fluff, Slight Humor

Pairing: Ateez X Reader (Focus on Seonghwa)

Words: 9,169

Warnings: Talks of mental illness: depression, suicidal thoughts, and suicide. Insecurities. Heavy angst. This is a Yandere story, it will contain themes such as stalking, violence, obsession, possessive natures, and just general overall creepiness and swearing. You have been warned.

A/n: So, this chapter is still pretty angsty in my opinion, but it does get fluffy near the end. It’s meant to really encapsulate both sides of the story and their emotions, so I hope that all comes through. I highly recommend listening to, or even searching up the lyrics to the songs in this chapter when they appear, as it will really put the songs I chose into perspective and provide more context/meaning to them in the moment. I really want to emphasize how the OC is really two sides of the same coin with all of them. I also really hope you enjoy it! As always, feedback is greatly appreciated! Enjoy~

Main Story - Part Two - Part Three - Part Four - Part Five - Part Six - Part Seven - Part Eight - Part Nine - Part Ten - Part Eleven - Part Twelve - Part Thirteen - Part Fourteen - Part Fifteen - Part Sixteen - Part Seventeen - Part Eighteen - Part Nineteen - Mini Masterlist

For two whole days, you see no sight, nor hear no sound of Seonghwa. Probably because you’ve opted to confine yourself to your room again, worried one of the others will bring up the topic of talking to him before you’re ready. At least the separation has given you time to think.

Sure, you’re still upset with what he said, but Jongho’s words from the other day in the library keep repeating themselves inside of your head.

He was scared.

You know first hand what fear can do to your emotional response. All logic simply can, and will, fly out of the window.

Still, that does not excuse what he said to you.

On the third day, you brave traversing outside of your room for a little while. 

The encounter you have with him is brief. You walk into the foyer on the way to the library when you see him coming from the opposite hall. Of course, he froze as soon as he saw you, eyes going wide as that same look of regret and sorrow takes over his features.

You say nothing, but you meet his gaze, blinking once at him as you continue to walk past.

For the first time in weeks, he doesn’t immediately beg for your forgiveness. No, this time, he simply watches you until you disappear from his sight. Still, he cannot keep his hands from shaking.

A fact of which you notice.

The rest of the week passes by exactly like this. Whenever you see Seonghwa, you acknowledge his presence either by meeting his gaze briefly, or nodding subtly in his direction. He makes no attempt to push you to listen to him anymore, nor does he dump countless amounts of apologies onto you. It’s still tense, but at least it’s bearable for you now.

Finally, you feel as if you can breathe again.

A week after that talk in the library with Hongjoong and Jongho, you decide to call your sister. You haven’t spoken to her in a little bit, and considering everything that’s happened, you could really use a good familial connection right now. Your mother is always an option, but as soon as you let on that you’re not in the right headspace, she’ll start asking you a million and one questions, and do whatever is in her power to find you and comfort you.

Not that you would complain, you just would rather have someone to listen to you for now, instead of wanting to take direct action. Besides, you could really go for hearing your sister’s familiar and comforting voice.

“Hey boo, what’s up?” She greets you with a smile after two rings of the video call going through. “How’ve you been?”

Currently, you find yourself sitting out on your balcony, the doors open wide behind you. You rest on one of the chaises, stretching your feet out in front of you as you hold your phone in your hand, elbow propped up on one of the arm rests.

“I’ve been okay,” you smile briefly, nothing more than a tense pull of your lips upwards. “I just wanted to call and check up on things with you. How’ve you been?”

“I’ve been great!” She replies, eyes instantly lighting up. “Work has really been picking up, so I’m happy about that.”

Fifteen minutes later, and she’s told you all about her personal business finally gaining traction, and bringing in more clients. You can tell that she’s super excited about everything, and that excitement rubs off on you. You find yourself smiling genuinely along to everything she has to say, and replying when appropriate with your encouragement and praise. You are really proud of her and how far she’s come, considering everything that she’s been through the past few years.

“Oh, and the next time you come to visit, we have a surprise for you!” She grins.

“A surprise?” You quirk a brow. “What is it?”

“Well, if I told you, it wouldn’t be a surprise, now, would it?” She chuckles.

“No, I suppose not,” you chuckle along with her, a soft smile adorning your features.

“Speaking of, when do you think you’ll be coming home to visit?” She asks, blinking curiously at you. “I know you’re all tied up with that new mystery lover of yours.”

At the suggestive wiggle of her brows, you can only sigh and shake your head.

“Still on about the mystery lover, huh?” You almost tut. “Will you cut it out?”

“Alright, alright, sorry,” she giggles, grinning knowingly.

“To answer your question,” you reply, somewhat pointedly with a teasingly firm look on your features, “I don’t know. Hopefully, soon.” You blink, the corner of your lips twitching upwards faintly. Almost sadly. “As soon as I can.”

With everything with Miyeon going on, and the fact that you were attacked the last time you went out, you think you just want to stick around the house for a little while. Besides, the guys all briefly filled you in on the fact that Miyeon does have allies now. Allies of which are two of the most dangerous men outside of the eight of them.

Needless to say, you have no plans on dying any time soon the next time you leave the house. Though, the first chance you get once this is all over, you’re going to visit your family. You miss them. A lot.

“Are you okay, boo?” Immediately, her brow furrows in worry. “You seem kind of down lately, and you zoned out on me there for a good little bit. Did something happen?”

A heavy sigh escapes you as you shift in your seat.

“Just-“ you blink, rubbing at the side of your face as your expression falls, shoulders drooping once more, “having a little bit of a rough time lately, that’s all.”

“Oh no,” concern is clear on her features, and you notice her lean slightly forwards in her seat. “Is it your depression again?”

“Part of it,” you nod. “Though, it’s a bit more complicated than that, I guess. It’s nowhere near as bad as it was, though. Well, you remember.”

A hint of fear flashes in her eyes. “I do.”

“Don’t worry, it’s nothing like that,” you share a knowing look with her, a faint twitch of your lips upwards. “I promise.”

“You and I both know that as soon as those thoughts come back, you don’t let them consume you anymore. You immediately get help.” She reminds you, and you nod along with her words. “We are not who we used to be. We’re better than that.”

“Yes,” you readily agree, eyes flashing in acknowledgement. “Yes, we are.”

“Do you have any outlets you can use to work through your emotions right now?”

You tilt your head slightly side to side, humming, “yes, and no.”

“What about that one hobby of yours?” She inquires. “I’m sure the hotel, or whatever you’re staying at, has one somewhere in a lounge or something, given the extravagance of the place. Perhaps you can just ask one of the staff to let you use one after hours, or something.”

“I haven’t touched one in years, honestly,” you reply, shifting your gaze out across to what appears to be the open desert stretching out in front of you.

“It helped you before,” she says, knowingly.

“I suppose it did,” you hum, a small nod to your head.

“Speaking of, how are you still able to afford staying at that place? It looks so fancy, and you haven’t been working lately, as far as I know. Have mom and dad been helping?” She quirks a brow, that teasing spark back in her eyes as she looks at you. “You keep saying there’s no mystery lover, but-“

“Oh, for crying out loud, Crystal!” You cut her off. “Will you knock it off?”

She laughs, boisterous and content. “Okay, okay, I’m sorry.”

Your lips tighten into a tense smile.

“Anyways, we’re going out for dinner soon, so I’m going to have to let you go to get ready,” she says. “If you ever need me, or even if you just want to talk, I’m here for you. Don’t hesitate at all.”

“I appreciate that,” your smile turns genuine once more. “Same goes for you.”

“Of course,” she returns your smile. “I’ll talk to you later, okay?”

“Okay,” you agree wholeheartedly. “Have fun at dinner, and say ‘hi’ to everyone for me.”

“Will do!” She replies. “Bye, boo! I love you!”

“I love you, too.” With a final wave and goodbye, you’re ending the call with your sister.

Another sigh escapes your lips as you place your phone beside you on the chaise, tucking it halfway beneath your thigh as you tilt your head back momentarily. Closing your eyes, you allow your whole body to relax.

A soft mewl draws your attention to the floor beside you, noticing Kuroo jump onto the chaise you’re resting on in the next second. He craws over your lap, settling onto your thighs as he begins to purr.

“Well, hello there, Little One,” you chuckle, scratching at his chin as he curls into you. “Did you come to check on me?”

At the way he exposes his belly for you, paws in the air curled above his chest, you’re letting out another chuckle.

“Oh, how sweet you are,” you coo, petting his tummy lightly as you look down at him.

Absentmindedly, you continue to scratch at his belly softly, combing your fingers through his fur. Kuroo is more than content to lay here like this with you, quickly falling asleep as he continues to keep you company. At least it gives you time to think.

Yes, you’re still upset at what happened, but keeping up this type of anger isn’t good for your mental health. Plus, you do miss spending time with Seonghwa, talking to him and joking around. You miss that cute pout of his that will tug onto his features when you tease him, and you miss the comfort of his voice.

Perhaps you’ve been a little too harsh on him with not letting him explain himself to you. You know for a fact that you’ve regretted those words you spoke in annoyance when exiting the library last week as soon as they left your lips. 

Perhaps this is exactly how he felt. 

At least you’ve now had time to process things.

Still, you’ll give it another day or two before you’re ready to talk to him. You don’t think you’re quite ready, or in the correct headspace to have that kind of conversation with him yet.

The very next day, luck seems to be on your side, for they all get called to an emergency council meeting. Seems as if someone has a new lead for them about Miyeon, or something.

It’s a bit odd, seeing a raven squawking around the house, but Wooyoung quickly explains to you that they’re the fastest messengers they have that travel between the realms. Though, you can tell both he and Jongho aren’t too pleased when the raven lands on your shoulder and stands like a sentinel, watching them with narrowed eyes.

“Are they flirting with me now, too?” You quirk a brow teasingly.

“Yes, she is,” Jongho replies, clearly irritated.

Your brows raise in amusement as you turn to look at the raven on your shoulder.

“Always a pleasure to have you, Stella,” Wooyoung gets out through gritted teeth.

The raven coos, almost mockingly back at him, making you laugh.

“Well, Stella,” you chuckle, noticing how a few of the others appear in the front foyer in the next second. “It’s a pleasure meeting you.”

Once again, she coos, but much fonder this time.

“Are all animals usually this friendly with you?” Yeosang inquires, nothing but curiosity reflected in his gaze.

“Most of the time,” you reply casually. “I don’t know what it is, but ever since I was small, they’ve always had an affinity towards me.”

A caw greets your ears, followed closely by a mewl as Kuroo makes an appearance from down the hallway. Instantly, Stella is taking off of your shoulder to circle the cat before landing gracefully on his back. Not that Kuroo seems to mind at all. In fact, he looks rather smug. Cheeky bastard.

Yeosang’s eyes shine, “I see.”

You look at him expectantly.

“They’re saying that you have a kind presence to you, so they’re drawn to it.” Jongho fills you in just as the remainder of his brothers enter the room.

You hum as you nod slightly in understanding, turning your attention to watch as Kuroo trots around happily with Stella on his back. That is, until Hongjoong is clearing his throat, then she’s quick to fly over to rest on his shoulder.

“We should be back in an hour or two,” he replies, meeting your gaze.

“We’ll try to be as quick as we can.” San assures you, drawing your attention to him in the next moment.

You nod your understanding once more.

“Okay, well, be careful,” you reply, eyes scanning over each and every one of them. “All of you.”

With a small smile, you’re turning around and heading back down the hallway, Kuroo in tow.

You fail to see the way they all turn to look at the eldest, who stands visibly frozen in his spot for the moment. Yunho manages to pull him out of his thoughts by clapping him once on the shoulder in the next second, the eight of them transporting themselves (and Stella) to their throne room.

Seonghwa cannot deny the way his heart swells, but this time, with hope. You looked at him again. Actually looked at him, with something other than disgust or disdain on your features. Perhaps things really are starting to get better. Little by little, he’ll make things right, no matter how long it takes.

Meanwhile, as they handle the urgent summons, you continue to make your way down the hallway and towards the music room. You figure there’s no time like the present, considering they won’t be around for a little while. At least you can play in peace.

Flicking on the lights, you notice Kuroo immediately making his way over to the large bay windows and hopping onto the window seat, laying down and making himself comfortable. You, on the other hand, walk over to the grand piano, an instrument of which you haven’t played in about two years.

You can still hear your sister’s words echoing in your mind as you open the lid, propping it on its stand as you walk over to the keys. Your hand gently brushes over the ivory before pulling out the bench and taking a seat.

Music has always been an escape for you, whether it be playing, or listening. Last time, when your depression got really bad, you found comfort in the familiar press of the keys, letting out all of your emotions and thoughts through the songs you would play, sometimes singing along in the privacy of your own home. Perhaps this time it will help, too.

Taking a deep breath, you raise your hands to begin to play.

For a full minutes, your fingers hover over the piano, eyes staring blankly over the top of the instrument as you blink. Despite the fact that you’re alone now, and you know that you’re alone, you’re still cautious of beginning. You’ve never really liked playing in front of other people as you got older, and only very specific people, like your friends and family have heard you play in more recent years. So, to say you’re a little nervous to touch the keys after so long would be an understatement.

Well, there’s no time like the present, so you might as well start with the piece you’ve been playing since you were small.

Closing your eyes briefly, you let the tips of your fingers rest on top of the ivory as you take another deep breath. A moment later, you begin to play.

The sound of Beethoven’s Moonlight Sonata slowly fills the air, and despite the few minor slip ups at first, either you rushing the timing or a wrong press of the keys, you begin to lose yourself to the music. One song blends into the next as you play a few classics that you’ve known since childhood, allowing the notes to surround you and offer you a comfort like they always have.

It’s one of the reasons hearing Yeosang play his violin for you meant so much, and even now, you cannot help but think back on that moment. Smiling to yourself, you look back down at the ivory keys below your hands, starting a new melody. One which you have not practiced in years.

It’s a little rough to start, considering it had been one of the newest songs you learned before being unable to play for quite some time, but once you get into the flow, you cannot help the way a giddy grin takes over your features.

Slowly, a medley of the Lord of the Rings soundtrack rings throughout the room, offering you comfort in your own way. A medley you had created yourself with all of your favourite songs from the movies. Each part flows into the next, and once you recall all of it, you find yourself sitting a little straighter in your seat, a pride swelling within your chest at the memories.

Though, nothing will ever mean as much to you, or sound quite like Yeosang performing Rohan’s melody for you on his violin. You don’t think you, or anything for that matter, could ever top that.

As soon as the medley finishes, you notice Kuroo staring at you from the window bench. His wide, golden eyes shine with nothing but curiosity and awe, causing your heart to warm in your chest.

“No tattling on me, now, okay?” You tease him lightly. “Especially not for the next few songs.”

A small coo is all you receive in response as he rests his head back onto his front paws.

“Also, if you don’t like my singing, that’s on you,” you chuckle, and you notice how his ears seem to perk up at this. “Fair warning, though: it’s been a while.”

Again, another soft coo greets your ears, almost as if he’s reassuring you. You smile.

“Let’s see,” you hum to yourself, “how did that one part go again?”

Briefly, you go over the bridge of the song, letting your memories resurface as you recall the melody. Once you do, you nod to yourself, starting at the very beginning.

The opening notes of Taemin’s Under My Skin begin to echo around the room. The familiar melody surrounds you like a warm embrace, feeling as if this song can perfectly describe your emotions at this time.

You open your mouth, and begin to sing.

With each lyric, your voice gets louder, stronger. It’s as if a piece of you that has been missing has finally returned, gaining confidence with every note that you hit. The emotions that you pour into your voice allow you to work through them, embracing every part of yourself and this situation as the meaning of the song overtakes your every sense.

With every word, with every note, you feel even better than before. Finally, you can release some of this stress, this pain holding onto your heart from over the past few weeks.

Before you know it, over an hour and a half has passed by with you getting lost in the music you create with the piano once more. It feels as if a weight has finally been lifted from your shoulders. With each passing second, you find more of yourself, grounding you once more to the person you are, the person that you have become, and the person you are always meant to be.

After another song, you pull out your phone. There’s one you have yet to learn the instrumental for that you’ve been meaning to, so you figure doing so now won’t be too bad. It’s not a difficult song by any means, so you’re sure you’ll be able to find either a basic outline for the sheet music online, or even if you listen to it enough times, you should be able to figure it out on your own. Besides, you feel as if this particular song relates quite well to your current situation, especially with Seonghwa.

That’s one thing that you’ve always been good at. If you listen to a song enough times, you’re usually able to distinguish which notes are being played, and copy the main melody enough for you to perform it.

Sure enough, not even twenty minutes later, you’ve taught yourself the song. It’s not very long, anyways, and from what you’ve leaned, it’s only really a few notes and chords. Well, here goes nothing.

Taking a deep breath, you begin to play from the very beginning.

The steady sound of a repeating, echoing note and its accompanying chords can be heard throughout the room as you lose yourself to the music once more. There’s a heaviness to your heart now as you begin to perform Bang Chan’s i hate to admit, voice sounding the slightest bit more strained as you allow your emotions to consume you.

Every thought you’ve had over the past three weeks surrounds you, coming through in the words you sing as tears begin to line your vision.

“I don’t know, I can’t give up on you,” you may not be in love with him yet, but that doesn’t mean your heart still cannot break. It’s the people that you care about that can always hurt you the most.

Your voice rings out throughout the room, and you notice Kuroo raise his head, staring at you with his wide, golden eyes.

You close your own as your first tear falls.

“I can’t stop thinking ‘bout you,” the steady press of your hands into the keys grounds you for the moment, the repetitive notes seemingly blending into one. “Just stay with me.”

The silent tears continue to fall down your cheeks, and you do whatever you can to not allow your emotions to fully control your voice for the moment. Unfortunately, it does not seem to be working, the final lines trembling as your voice drops to a near whisper.

“How could I forget?”

The next breath you take is shaky, your lips trembling as you slowly get out the final lines of the song.

“I might as well forget…”

The final notes ring out throughout the room, and you finally open your eyes. That’s when you notice, Kuroo isn’t looking at you, but at someone behind you.

The sound of someone falling to their knees echoes throughout the room. You don’t even need to turn around to know who it is.

Wiping at your tears quickly, you swallow the remaining emotions in your throat. As much as you didn’t want to be overheard playing, or singing right now, you realize that you can use this opportunity to your advantage.

Before either of you two can say anything, your back straightens, and you’re beginning another song. You don’t want to face him right now, anyways. Besides, you don’t think that you can.

The gentle trickle of notes fill the air, and you find yourself not even worrying about if you’ll remember the entire melody or not. Each press of the keys is almost second nature, despite how long you’ve gone without playing this song.

It was one of your favourites, after all, especially when you had been going through some rough times. Though, now that you think about it, the meaning has significantly changed. Again, you cannot help but marvel at how fitting this song is for your current situation as you continue to play the introductory notes of Try by Pink.

Taking a deep breath as your lips part, you begin to sing.

You don’t know how many of them are in the room with you, or if it’s just him. Given how you seem to only feel one intense stare locked onto your back, you believe it’s just the two of you. Besides, Kuroo hasn’t taken his eyes off of him since he’s entered the room.

“Where there is desire, there is gonna be a flame,” you can hear the way his breath hitches behind you as you hit the first chorus. “Where there is a flame, someone’s bound to get burned.”

He holds his breath.

“But just because it burns doesn’t mean you’re gonna die,” your eyes close briefly. “You gotta get up and try, try, try.”

Your voice echoes around the room, and you notice a stillness unlike ever before settle around you as you continue on. You know you have his complete and utter attention. Especially as you sing the next line.

“Why do we fall in love so easy,” he doesn’t fail to miss the catch in your voice, “even when it’s not right?”

The second time you hit the chorus, you can feel the tears once again prickling at your eyes. They pool in the corners, and as soon as you blink, you can feel them begin to fall.

This song is for you as much as it is for him.

“Ever worry that it might be ruined,” your voice is much softer now, and it’s like you’re speaking directly to him, “and does it make you want to cry?”

You don’t even need to turn around to know that he’s just as much of a mess as you are right now. Your heart squeezes painfully in your chest, and you do whatever you can to fight off the lingering emotions that threaten to choke you out at any second as the final chorus echoes throughout the room.

You can do this. You can make it through this. You’re almost there. At least, that’s what you keep telling yourself. Though, you’re pretty sure as soon as you turn around to see his broken expression once more, you won’t be able to control your emotions any longer.

“You gotta get up and try, try, try,” your voice is the softest it’s even been as your eyes fall shut. “Gotta get up and try, try, try.”

The final notes ring out through the room, and your hands fall into your lap. All you can do is stare at the keys in front of you as that still silence settles around the both of you. The only sounds you can hear are his muffled sobs, and your uneven breathing.

Taking a deep breath, you steady your nerves. Wiping at your tears with the back of your hand, you slowly turn around to face him while still sitting on the bench. Sure enough, you see him on his knees, about halfway between you and the open doorway.

Of all the previous times you’ve seen him cry in front of you, never has the eldest looked so broken. There is a deep sorrow held within his gaze as he stares into your eyes, fresh tears trailing down his face. His hands tremble as they hang limply at his sides, palms facing upwards in your direction in a display of utmost surrender and submission.

Painfully, Seonghwa’s heart squeezes. The worst suffocating feeling that he’s ever felt in his entire life surrounds his entire chest as he continues to stare at you, sobs wracking his entire body the longer you go without saying anything.

So badly does he want to hope, but he doesn’t think he’ll survive that loss if it turns out to be false.

You swallow your emotions for the moment as you meet his gaze.

“Give me an hour or two, and once we’ve both calmed down,” you stand from your spot, “then, we can talk.”

Seonghwa can only nod his head vigorously, worried that if he opens his mouth all that will escape him will be a choked sob. Still, he cannot deny the way his breath catches, no longer being able to stop that glimmer of hope from shining within his gaze.

Without another word, you walk passed him and out of the room.

You don’t come across any of the others on your way back to your own room, and for that, you’re grateful. You can still tell they’re around, hearing sound coming from both the home theatre, and game room as you pass by. The fact that they’re being respectful enough not to swarm you for the moment helps to warm your heart as you wipe at your lingering tears once more.

Making it back to your room, you shut the door behind you once you step inside, leaving it open only the slightest crack incase Kuroo decides to join you later. You could really go for a nice warm bath right now; you just need to calm down for a bit and relax.

An hour later, you find yourself sitting in the exact same chaise you were in the previous evening. This time, you sit crossed legged as you gaze out into the desert before you. 

The stars glimmer like jewels in the sky above, and a gentle breeze caresses your heated skin. Kuroo sits on the railing of your balcony, tail swishing behind him as he looks out over the space in front of the both of you. Silently, he keeps you company, standing guard and offering you comfort in his own way.

Again, the balcony doors rest wide open behind you, but you’ve opted to keep the door to your room closed for now. You doubt he’ll use the door anyways, once you call for him. Besides, you do not wish to be disturbed.

Letting out a sigh, you close your eyes.

For the next half an hour, you calm your mind. 

Occasionally, you have used meditation to help you relax, and you find yourself leaning into those few times that you have, recalling the breathing exercises that you’ve used previously that have worked before, and using them now.

Taking a deep, steady breath in, you open your eyes.

Finally, you are ready to talk to Seonghwa.

The very moment you brush up against that royal blue string within your mind, Seonghwa is beside you in a second. His hands pause halfway in buttoning up his shirt, and you notice his hair is damp. He must have just gotten out of the shower.

The soft call of your name from his lips has you meeting his gaze, even if only briefly.

“Sit,” you motion to the chair beside you. “We have a lot to discuss."

Instantly, he’s in the seat beside yours, sorrowful gaze locked onto your figure. From the corner of your eyes, you can see how bloodshot his own are, and you can just tell he’s probably been crying for a lot longer than you have been.

A moment of silence passes over the both of you as you stare forward, and out into the desert.

“Would you like to go first, or should I?” You pose the question gently, forearms resting over your knees.

You hear him take a deep, shaky breath in.

“Whatever would make you more comfortable.” Comes his soft reply.

You nod your head only once, slowly at that.

“Alright,” you blink, eyes transfixed on the way Kuroo’s tail continues to swish back and forth over the railing in front of you. “Then I would like to hear what you have to say.”

He’s quiet for a moment, and you recognize this as him collecting his thoughts.

“I-“ he begins, before stopping short, staring at his intertwined hands as he leans forward to rest his elbows on his knees. “I have no greater regret than the pain my words have caused you. I promised you that I would never speak to you in such a manner again, and I broke that promise to you. I swore I would never hurt you, yet that’s all I seem to be doing.”

Taking a deep breath, he swallows the sudden dryness in his throat as he keeps his voice low.

“I find that I never know how to control myself around you: my emotions, my actions, my words.” His fingers tighten around each other. “I know it’s no excuse for how I acted. I let my fear control me that day. I let it control my anger, which subsequently controlled my words. It was misdirected, and unacceptable on my part. I took it out on you, and for that, I am truly sorry.”

Looking up, he meets your gaze, and you see fresh tears lining his eyes.

“I will spend every day of the rest of our lives making this up to you; proving to you how sincere I am is the only thing on my mind. I cannot live without you; you’ve more than proved your point.” He continues lowly. “You’re right. I could never just get over losing you. You mean too much to me.”

This time, it’s your turn to swallow the sudden dryness in your throat. You had only thought he had heard you the other day, but this just confirms it.

“Losing you is my greatest fear,” his voice catches, as if the mere thought of it is simply too much for him to bear. At the way his eyes shine with a newfound horror, you know that it is. “Seeing you bleeding out like that, with- with-“ his whole body begins to tremble as he squeezes his eyes shut, the first of his tears falling as the memory consumes him once more, “with arrows piercing your back terrified me. I thought-“ he rubs his face with his hands, taking a deep breath to attempt to calm himself as his eyes remain closed for the moment. “When I saw you hunched over like that, I thought you were dead.”

Your expression falls as you watch his whole body tremble before you.

“All I could think was that it was my fault. I couldn’t protect you. I failed you.” He chokes on his breath. “Then, you moved, and all I could think about was that you could die at any moment. The fact that you seemed to care so little for your own life drove me insane.” He takes another shaky breath in as he meets your gaze. “How could you not realize how precious you are? Not just to me, but to all of us?”

You remain quiet, allowing him to finish his own thoughts for the moment as he looks back down at his intertwined hands.

“Seeing you laying there on the table, bleeding out with that damned poison running through your veins only made it worse. I felt like I couldn’t breathe, and all I could do was blame myself for ever letting you get in harms way,” he says, eyes falling shut once more. “I couldn’t help but to think that maybe, if I had just suggested doing something else, or even if I had just kept my mouth shut, you wouldn’t be greeting death like an old friend right in front of my very eyes. You would have never been in danger. You would have never gotten hurt.”

“And then to hear you say that,” his whole body tenses. “To hear you brushing everything off as if you were fine, and that you weren’t minutes away from death had me terrified. How could you be so calm? Why would you use your energy to reassure us when you could collapse at any moment? Were you not worried for yourself?”

“So, I got angry. Angry at the lack of care you seemed to have for yourself. Angry at the way you seemed to not want us to worry about you, despite everything going on. Angry that you would seemingly be okay with throwing away your own life, and not recognizing how important you are to us. To me.” He blinks, shifting his gaze to meet your own once more. “I wasn’t angry that you protected a child. I was angry at the fact that you got hurt protecting a child when I was supposed to be the one protecting you.”

“I never meant a word I said to you, and I have regretted them ever since,” he stares deeply into your eyes, tears falling from his own. “I had no right to speak to you how I did. I had no right to allow my fear to control my anger like that, and take it out on you. You are not stupid, and you most certainly are not a burden. You never were, and you never will be.”

You swallow thickly.

“I hate knowing that I ever made you feel that way,” his voice trembles, and suddenly, he can no longer meet your gaze. “I made those voices return. I did that to you.” His whole body begins to shake as more tears escape his eyes as he squeezes them shut once more, hands coming up to tangle in his hair. “I’m sorry.” He chokes on a sob. “I’m so, unbelievably sorry.”

“From the bottom of my heart, and with everything that I am,” meeting your gaze right now is the hardest thing he’s ever done in his entire life as a shame unlike any other washes over him, “I sincerely apologize for everything that I have done that has hurt you.”

“There is no greater regret in my entire life knowing that I’ve ruined everything, and I will spend however long it takes making it up to you. I will never stop wanting to make things right. I am so, deeply in love with you, that I cannot survive without you.”

You stretch out your legs in front of you, turning your body to sit on the edge of the chaise as you face him fully.

“So, please-“ he falls to his knees, scared that you’re about to up and leave him again for the time being as he reaches across to you, hands clinging desperately onto your sides as he collapses on top of your thighs. “Please, do whatever you want with me. Hate me. Yell at me. Hit me until you are satisfied. Just whatever you do, please don’t go back to ignoring me.” More tears spill down his cheeks as he inhales a shaky breath, voice muffled as he presses his face further into you. “I don’t know if I can survive that.”

A moment of silence settles over the both of you as he sobs into your stomach, arms coming to wrap around your torso as he clings onto you for dear life. You say nothing, opting to take a deep breath in to steady your nerves.

Only, Seonghwa perceives it as a disappointed sigh, sobbing harder into you as he tightens his grip around your waist.

“Please,” he begs. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, My Divine, please-“

Like a broken record, Seonghwa keeps repeating those few words to you, pleading desperately for you not to go. To not leave him, or go back to ignoring him. He wants you to know how sincere he is in both his words and actions, knowing that he would even cut his own beating heart out of his chest as long as it meant your happiness.

“Seonghwa,” the way you breathe his name sets a whole new round of sobs wracking his chest. The moment he feels your hand come up to begin threading your fingers through his hair, his whole body begins to shake. “You didn’t ruin everything. You did not ruin anything.”

His whole chest shakes with the weight of his sobs, and you can feel him pressing his fingers harder into the skin of your back. Almost as if he’s grounding himself to you in this moment, like you may slip through his grasp. As if to prove to himself that this is real.

“I appreciate your honesty,” you say, continuing to softly thread your fingers through his hair in comfort. “Now, are you ready for mine?”

Again, he nods vigorously against your stomach, eyes squeezing shut as he prepares himself for the worst.

You take a deep breath in.

“First of all, I would like to apologize to you-“

“My Divine, you have no reason to apologize to me-“

“I have just as much reason to apologize to you when I purposely hurt you in the same ways that I got upset at you for hurting me.” You reply.

He remains quiet.

“I was frustrated, and upset,” you continue, staring straight ahead as you feel him shift his gaze to stare up at you for the moment.

“You had every right to be.”

“That doesn’t make what I said okay, Hwa,”

He cannot help the way his heart stutters a beat in his chest. You called him Hwa again.

“I didn’t mean it. I want you to know that,” your fingers still in his hair. “I was being my typical, extremely hypocritical self, and I knew it. Yet, I still said it to hurt you.”

You take a moment to pause.

“I-“ you exhale a long breath through your nose. “It’s the people that we care about the most that can shatter us the quickest.”

His breath hitches.

“The reason, Seonghwa, that I broke down the way I did after what you said to me is because I care.” You swallow the sudden dryness in your throat as you feel him go completely still in your grip. “I care about you. All of you, and every logical part of me tells me that I shouldn’t, given the circumstances, but I still do. I have never had someone treat me, let alone desire me as you all do, and if I’m being honest with myself, it fucking terrifies me.”

Finally, you spare a glance down into his eyes, and you notice his wide gaze staring completely captivated by you for the moment.

“It terrifies me because, selfishly, I do not want to lose any of it.” Your voice drops to a mere whisper, as if ashamed of what you’re admitting to him at this very moment. “I have gone through most of my life with those voices in my head telling me that I am not good enough. I have never believed anyone could ever want me, let alone love me as unconditionally as you all do. I have always believed that I’ve had to earn people’s affection, lest they see me as a burden.”

Fresh tears spring to your eyes as you attempt to keep your voice from shaking.

“I-“ your voice catches in your throat. “I have always felt alone because I never wanted to burden others with my problems, or my presence. It’s gotten better over the past few years, but-“ you swallow, averting your gaze to the side to see Kuroo already staring as intently at you as Seonghwa is. You close your eyes. “That is not the first time I have almost greeted death like an old friend.”

Seonghwa’s reaction is immediate, that same fear flashing in his eyes as he’s instantly sitting on the chaise beside you and pulling you into his arms. Your head rests on his chest as his one hand comes to support the back of your head, cradling you to him gently. 

A tear lands on your cheek that is not your own as your hand clings desperately to the material of his shirt.

“After my sister lost her child, I can’t count the amount of times I found her close to her own death,” you whisper, afraid that if the words are any louder, your voice may crack. “I blamed myself each and every time. How could I not notice the signs? I wasn’t there for her enough when she needed me. Not to mention how those voices just made everything worse. I was useless, stupid, and my family was already stretched thin enough with my sister that I couldn’t burden them with my own problems. Mine seemed trivial in comparison, anyways. If I didn’t even care about myself, why should they?”

You can feel his grip tighten around you, pulling you closer into his chest.

“My own death does not scare me, but seeing that same fear I know has always been reflected on my own face paint itself over my sister’s features when she found me terrified me unlike anything before.” The first of your tears begin to fall. “To this day, I am the biggest hypocrite I know. I made her promise me that she would continue living, to continue fighting, and I couldn’t even keep that same promise to her.”

“That’s when we both swore to each other that we would get through this together, and we did.” Your eyes fall shut. “To this day, she was the only one that knew, and I cannot help but still think about if she didn’t find me that day, or if I didn’t find her all those times first. So, of course I’m going to prioritize someone else’s life over mine, especially if that someone is a child. I know the effects first hand of what losing one could mean. Besides, my life will never be as important as someone else’s.”

Seonghwa goes so still that you swear he’s stopped breathing.

“Do you-“ he swallows his emotions, throat going dry, “do you really believe that?” His chest tightens, heart squeezing painfully as another tear falls from his eye. “Do you really believe that your life is worth less than someone else’s?”

Your lips part briefly with a response before you promptly shut them. Your silence speaks volumes.

Then, you’re uttering the words that break Seonghwa’s heart anew this evening, voice barely above a whisper, “It always has been.”

“My Divine,” he chokes on a sob, “you must know that that’s not true. Not even in the slightest.”

You remain silent.

“Please,” he practically whimpers, “you have to realize that your life is just as important as, if not more important than anyone else’s.”

“I understand that I should realize that, and I do at times,” you reply softly. “It’s just when it comes down to it, I cannot help but prioritize others over me. If I can save others from pain, I would rather take it all than see someone I care about get hurt.”

“But what about how we feel when we see you in pain?” His whole body shakes, grip tightening once more around your body. “Do you not realize how that hurts us?”

“I realize that now,” you respond earnestly. “Believe me, I do.”

“Then why-“

“I have gone my whole life following this mentality, Seonghwa. You cannot expect me to change a fundamental part of who I am just like that,” you sigh. “My insecurities are every bit a part of me as my confidence, just as my depression is every bit a part of me as my happiness. Some days are better than others, and I can reason with myself. Other times, the voices win. I can manage them a lot better now, but my biggest insecurity, my biggest fear is always at the back of my mind. It’s why I cannot go back there again.”

You can tell he wants to ask. So badly does he want to know, to be able to comfort you and reassure you in every and any way he can. Only, you’re speaking before he gets a chance to.

“Listen, Seonghwa,” you let out another sigh, “I know you want to know, and I’m always a strong believer in reciprocating vulnerability when it is shown to me. However, this is a part of me that I am not ready to share with any of you yet. It’s not an easy subject for me to talk about with anybody, and I don’t readily do so often. I need you to understand though, that it’s not because I do not trust you. I do trust you, Seonghwa. I trust all of you. I trust you all with my life. I am simply not ready to share such a part of me with any of you yet.”

“I want you to know, though, that there is a reason I always reply with ‘I believe you’ to you all.” You tell him. “As much as that phrase if for you, it’s also for me as well.”

“I understand, My Divine.” You feel him nod against your head. “I understand.”

“Thank you,” you breathe, feeling a small weight lifting off of your shoulders. Then, after a moment, you add, “for everything.”

He blinks, squeezing you tighter to his chest as he places his lips onto the top of your head. Allowing his eyes to flutter shut, Seonghwa inhales deeply, breathing in your scent and revelling in this moment here with you.

“Of course, My Divine,” he mumbles against the top of your head. “I love you, and I will always care for you. Even if I don’t always know how to properly express it sometimes.”

You chuckle at that, lips twitching upwards in the corners. “I believe you.”

You can feel him smile against you, whole body nearly relaxing until you feel him stiffen beneath your hold.

“I, uh,” he stammers, shifting slightly as his grip loosens around your body, “I did it again, didn’t I?”

“Did what?” You quirk a brow, tilting your head up to look at him as you wipe at your dried tears with the back of your hand.

“This,” he replies, eyes flicking down to your form wrapped in his embrace as he chews on his bottom lip.

You chuckle, “Hwa, if I didn’t want to be held, or even touched by you, I would have told you to get off of me a long time ago.”

“Oh,” his lips part slightly in mild surprise, a bashful smile stretching across his features. “This is okay, then?”

Really, it warms your heart more than you care to admit that he’s taking the time to consider your comfortability right now after everything.

“Of course,” you nod slightly. “Though, can we lay down, my back is getting kind of stiff-“

Instantly, you’re laying down in the chaise, his arms wrapped securely around your body as he holds you to his chest.

The giggle that you release is music to his ears.

“Someone’s eager,” you tease, curling yourself further into him to make yourself more comfortable.

“I will not lie to you, My Divine,” his voice is a bit breathless as he replies to you, ‘I have been fantasizing about holding you in my arms for quite a long time.”

“Well, if it wasn’t obvious before,” you smile faintly, hearing the way his heart begins to race within his chest, “you may stay. At least, for a little while.”

“I promise you I won’t fuck things up this time,” he responds earnestly.

“You better not,” you tease him, poking at his chest quite firmly with your finger and noticing once more how not all of his buttons have been done up. “Next time, I definitely won’t be as forgiving.”

His breath hitches in his throat, eyes shining as he looks down at you in his arms, noticing how you’re already staring up at him with a knowing look.

“You mean…?”

“Yes, Mars,” you hum, and you feel his whole body go still beneath you. “I forgive you.”

“I-“ he blinks, swallowing the sudden dryness in his throat. “Are you sure?”

“Do you not want me to forgive you?” Your brow quirks as you continue to stare up at him.

“Of course I do, I just-“

“Do you think I would perform for just anyone, Mars?” You tilt your head slightly as you smile up at him softly. “It will have to be an effort on both of our parts, but I am willing to try if you are.”

Once more, his lips are back on the top of your head, gracing the skin of your forehead as he presses you as close to his body as he can. A soft rumble shakes his chest, and you already know his answer without him saying it.

“Thank you,” his voice is raw, strained from the intense emotions he’s feeling in this very moment. Gratitude, happiness, but more than all of that, love floods his veins as he holds you to him. “My Divine, thank you.”

Slowly, your one hand slides beneath the opening of his shirt to rest directly over his heart, feeling the way it thunders beneath your touch as a pleasant shiver caress his spine. You meet his gaze, fresh tears shining in his eyes as you smile up at him softly.

“I swear to you I will not let you down,” nothing but sincerity is reflected in his fond gaze as he stares deeply into your eyes.

“I believe you,” you hum, settling back against him with your head on his chest.

A small silence surrounds the both of you, and you notice Kuroo looking back out at the desert once more. His tail swishes languidly as he sits, perched on the railing of your balcony as you are more than content to rest in Seonghwa’s arms for the moment. You even go so far as to gently rub your thumb against the skin of his chest, loving the way you can feel his heart still racing beneath the palm of your hand.

A pleasant shiver runs up his spine.

“My Divine, you must know how such a simple touch from you tests my every last bit of control,” his voice rumbles out, the subtle hints of a growl to his tone.

You giggle. “Then, I guess we’re even.”

You can tell your words catch him by surprise at the way he says nothing in response.

“You’re the one who showed up tonight looking like this,” you emphasize your words by trailing your hand a little further along his chest, causing his shirt to fall open the slightest bit more. “Not to mention you smell incredible.”

Taking another deep breath, your eyes flutter shut, practically moaning as the scent of mahogany teakwood invades your every sense.

“Nothing is more attractive to me than someone who both looks and smells nice,” you sigh wistfully, a smile tugging onto your lips.

Seonghwa cannot deny the way his whole body heats at your words, a low growl building in his chest as your praise washes over him. Finally, he’s done something right.

Now, if only he could cover you in him. Oh, how he longs for the day where he can absolutely drench you in his scent, and him in you.

“I always live to please you,” his voice rumbles out, low and sultry as his eyes hood over.

You do not fail to catch the double meaning of his words.

“All in due time, Seonghwa,” you chuckle, a grin to your lips as you settle against him. Your eyelids flutter shut. “All in due time.”