#WrittenPosts

[secretlifeofanamericanhoe]

First Post Thoughts:

Hey guys! So this is my first post on my new blog - I’m so excited to have finally decided on returning to writing. I had a Tumblr originating in 2010 - I had it for 4-5 years and was fairly Tumblr famous back in the day. However a vengeful ex boyfriend of mine hacked my account and took it over, so I was (and still am) unable to access it. I wrote every single thought and emotion of mine, and completely poured my heart and soul into my posts and writing in general. It was my therapy when I desperately needed it. Once my ex took that away from me and exposed my deepest feelings, I shut myself down from writing and have not done so since.

Here we are 4 years later, and I’m dying to get back on the horse. In this blog, I’m going to be sharing a lot of secrets; a lot of experiences, desires, thoughts, and emotions. Some will be good, some will be bad. I’m hoping to amuse those who are left on Tumblr, and also teach some life lessons through explaining why you shouldn’t be like me and/or do what I do.

Thanks for taking the time out to stop by! I really appreciate it.

[smokeyfilms]

Cinema as Eye: Look and Gaze

“Film has depended on voyeuristic active/passive mechanisms. Woman, whose image has continually been stolen and used for this end, cannot view the decline of traditional film form with anything much more than sentimental regret” (Mulvey p.26).

Black Swan (Aronofsky 2010) is a brilliant psychological thriller showcasing protagonist Nina (Natalie Portman), a dedicated ballet dancer driven to insanity in her pursuit to unattainable perfection.

Visually the film employs an array of techniques, namely utilizes color to demonstrate Nina’s transition from innocent (wearing only white) to progressively incorporating darker colors into her wardrobe (see left image) until her eventual metamorphosis into the wicked beast, or rather psychosis, known as the Black Swan. Pertaining to the eye motif, a close, tracking shot follows Nina having fully realized her Black Swan alter ego. The camera focuses closely on Nina’s bloodshot eyes. Aronofsky uses this disturbing and demonic imagery to effectively unsettle the spectator (see right image).

The male gaze as a paradigm, surfaces as imagery of women’s bodies and faces are relentlessly used to decorate films. Even in the casting of films, where casting directors are obligated to book actors that meet an attractiveness criterion, as Scopophilia rules the subject matter of the modern film industry. Or in plain terms, sex sells. There are many close-up shots of Nina’s face with a sultry facial expression that would likely be considered pleasing to the male gaze. Moreover, this is mirrored in the film as the male antagonist (Thomas) exclaims for Nina to “seduce us” with her movement. This chaotic scene follows Nina as she frantically practices her lead role choreography, while getting cat-called with corrections. We see a passive/female against active/male dynamic, that projects Thomas’ “fantasy onto the female figure, which is styled accordingly” (Mulvey p. 19).

Nina’s self-worth is determined by how talented and beautiful she is in the eyes of Thomas, the head of the ballet company. This is brought to light through Nina’s iconic quote ‘I just wanted to be perfect’. However, this is merely Thomas’ version of perfect, not one that is necessarily desirable in western society, given that she is objectively mentally unhinged. The film explores topical themes of systematic sexual abuse in the entertainment industry, moreover, pertaining to the ‘me too’ and ‘times up’ movement. Black Swan (Aronofsky 2010) resembles instances where Nina is “subjugated to her image as a barer of the bleeding wound; she can exist only in relation to castration and cannot transcend it” (Mulvey p.14). The competitive dancers face a hierarchy that is not merit-based, but rather only reach the top or maintain their success through their willingness to perform sexual favors for their male superiors.

1. Images 1 and 2: Black Swan 2010, Fox Searchlight Pictures, Directed by Darren Aronofsky.

2. Mulvey, L 1998, Visual and Other Pleasures.

[thewrittenpost]

End of Day Check In!

My quarter century challenge has begun! I will be editing this post to cross out prompts I have already completed, and getting it all up to see if I finish all the prompts by the end of the month! So here goes!

Candle

Summer

Costumes

Rose

High Heels

Competition

On-stage

Babysitting

Animated

RPGs

Road Trip

Summer Camp

First Job

Doodles

Finales

Music

Shakespeare

Siblings

Perfume

Winnie the Pooh

Mochi Day

First Days

Squirrels

Video Games

Dreams

[cocoabutterbrushes]

Happy 2019 lovelies!!!

What are five things you’d love to work on to get you to the point where you want to be in life? Don’t think of it as resolution, think of it as more of a consistent upgrade or lift. 

Mine are to: 

Invest in myself financially. 

 Invest in my academia. 

Take charge of my creativeness. 

 Invest in my love for myself. 

Invest in my health. This refers to mental health, emotional health, physical health. 

Share with me something you’d love to do in 2019. You can be as intimate or as vague as you’d like. Remember to keep your energy safe and sacred. 

Love you always, xoxo

Gabby

[escapadeist]

Daily musings #2

I sometimes wonder if those that are priviliged ever feel the burdens of the world or are they born with silver spoons and will die with one? I mean that's ridiculously unfair, even if it's "LIFE", as you say. But shouldn't there be some balance? Shouldn't everybody have as bad and good days at some point in their life, ofcourse when they deserve it, but yeah... Wouldn't that be atleast a bit fair? After all, what's the point then. Or the unprivileged will keep dragging themselves through their entire life, and possibly their next generations too. The order and laws of the universe are, at times, quite profoundly mind-boggling.

#musings #dailymusings #thoughts #afterthoughts #life #universe #unfair #writers #writerscreed #writers of tumblr #tumblrwriters #writtenposts

[oxliviaa]

I always wondered

why I wasn't like other girls. With the cute clothes and the Toms. The excessive time they spent on their hair and make up. It always made me feel weird, but also, they made me feel weird. It only bothered me a bit in grade school. It didn't start bothering me a lot until middle school, like grade 7. I wasn't really the girlie type, I didn't even like shopping much. I preferred my brothers "hand me downs". The comfy hoodies and the loose t shirts, it was like heaven to me. It started to bother me a few weeks into 7th grade, when other girls started to comment. They would always ask why I didn't wear any pink really, or mascara. The worst was when as a joke a girl asked me out in front of a ton of other girls, and then said "oh I'm sorry, I thought you were a guy". All the girls started to laugh at me and I stood there stunned. Always wondering why I couldn't dress the way I was to be considered a girl. To be "normal". After that I got my older sister to give me some of her hand me downs. Asked her to teach me how to straighten my hair and some basic make up skills. Asked for stuff like that for birthdays and Christmas. And it felt good that the other girls liked the way I looked and would pay me compliments. I felt accepted finally. As the years went by I got better at the make up and hair, and knew what flattered my figure. Would spend forever getting ready for school. And at that point it wasn't for them anymore, it became about making me happy. The only reason it made me happy was because other girls would either pay compliments and/or envy me a little bit. The some of boys would even be asking me out and smiling at me. Me. The girl who wore boys clothes in 7th grade. I got so hung up on what was considered normal that I didn't care about my comfort anymore. The tighter, the better. Eventually I got tired of playing dress up by the end of high school. Started wearing looser clothing and not wearing all the makeup. I got told that I look "too lazy", and I should put on more make up. I'm happier now, as I'm writing this post, wearing a pair of men's boxers and a men's tank top. Loving life, and I finally feel really happy. I'm not looking for those compliments anymore, or a whistle when I walk down the school halls in college. I'm just me. And when people look at old Instagram or Facebook photos and say "wow you used to be so pretty and different", I'd say "yea I used to be pretty different, but I was always pretty". Being "pretty" isn't on the outside with how you look, it's how you look and feel on the inside.

[smokeyfilms]

Cinema as Door

“A film has many more points of entry than merely the screen on which the diegetic world unfolds” (Elsaesser p.41).

The Place Beyond the Pines (Cianfrance, 2012) is a neo-noir crime drama that stars Ryan Gosling, Bradley Cooper and Dane DeHaan. The film adequately conceptualizes cinema as door through its exploration of perspective, moreover, positions the spectator in three separate protagonists’ bodily experience of life throughout the film. While there is limited reference to the entering of literal doors, following three individual characters in one single chronology is what makes this film so entrancing, as we enter and exit their respective psyches.

The main character Luke (see image) is a motorcyclist, working as a mechanic to get enough money to support his infant son and to get close to his love interest, the mother of his son. When the money of a part-time mechanic is not enough, Luke decides to rob banks and is eventually shot and killed by a policeman (Avery) to which the viewpoint switches to.  Avery is treated as a hero, however he is internally aware that he misconducted himself, given the fact that he shot-first.

Avery grapples with this lie, to which he eventually concedes, losing his job and credibility. Thirdly, a young man befriends Avery’s son in the local high school, where it switches to the final character perspective, revealed as being Luke’s son, having reached adolescence (A.J.).

The Place Beyond the Pines (Cianfrance, 2012) plays with morality and the idea that one’s bad actions, can often originate from a place of good intention. An individual will excuse their bad behavior, negating the conception that they are inherently evil, in pursuit of a greater purpose, a heroic goal that requires drastic measures. It exposes the human condition as one that is doomed to a self-serving and self-preserving mindset. That only they are the ‘good guy.’ The film excites and surprises the spectator as an antagonist is unexpectedly empathized with as Avery is transformed into a protagonist and exposes the notion that the law doesn’t necessarily signify what is ethical.

There is a memorable scene depicting Luke out the front of a bank, working up the confidence to enter the building and demand money from the tellers. As he enters though the door, he is an entirely different creature, animalistic and screaming hysterically for the tellers to ‘put the money in the bag.’ This is Cianfrance’s more visual depictions of the notion of door. Leaving a world of innocence, to the lifechanging choice of committing an armed robbery. The bank entrance door is depicted as a “passage from one world to another, which pre-supposes the co-existence of two worlds separated as well as connected by the threshold” (Elsaesser P.36).

1.       The Place Beyond The Pines 2012, Sidney Kimmel Entertainment, Directed by Derek Cianfrance.

2.       Elsaesser, T & Hagener, M 2010, Film Theory: An Introduction Through the Senses, Routledge, New York.

[thewrittenpost]

1/4 Century Challenge #4

This was fun, and maybe -possibly- based off something that has actually happened to me in college. Actually, when I decided this prompt, I had a completely different idea, but when I went to type... this happened! I’ve apparently been a squirrel lover since childhood... which I forgot to mention to the anon who asked about my favorite animals!

Well, I’ll put this under a Read More to keep things small!

Prompt 23: Squirrels

“I want one.” Gwendolyn stared towards the grass, the sandwich lifted halfway to her face and forgotten. She didn’t even blink, watching something behind Scarlet.

“Want what? The giant pen the professor was waving around?” Scarlet was busy copying notes from their last class. Her scribbles were barely legible, especially when compared to Gwendolyn’s, but they were the proof her parents wanted that she was actually sitting in class. “...Gwennie? Gweeeeeeen? Gwen, what are you staring at?”

Scarlet turned around to see a squirrel watching them, brave little thing nibbling on a peanut. “Gwen?” Scarlet waved a hand in front of Gwendolyn’s face, raising her eyebrows. “Are you really attached to the squirrel of all things?”

“His name is Sammy and I love him.” Gwendolyn finally managed to pull her eyes away. Taking a bite of her sandwich, she said, “He has a fluffy tail and I want one.”

“The tail or the squirrel?” Scarlet laughed at the glare Gwendolyn sent her, and grinned mischievously. “Okay, you want the squirrel? Let’s get you a squirrel!”

Scarlet took off in chase of Sammy, cackling as Gwendolyn protested behind her. Anything was better than writing down notes, even making a fool of herself by chasing a squirrel up a tree!

()~~()~~()

Theodore glanced over at the crowd, recognizing the girl climbing a tree and screaming for a “Sammy” to come down. Creative writing was either going to be chaos after this, or quiet because the college made her go home.

He wasn’t going to complain if that’s what happened.

Sipping on his coffee absently, Theodore started working on homework from his last class. This small break gave him time, so why waste it? It was better than waiting all day and having to stay up even longer... and science wasn’t as fun as history, so he might as well get it over with.

Or he would, if there wasn’t a ridiculous screaming fest happening across the quad. Rubbing his eyes, Theodore gave in and watched the events unfold, as... what was her name? Scarlet, that was it! Was she chasing a squirrel?

Smart animal, running away.

Shaking his head, Theodore shoved his things into his backpack. He’d just go into the cafeteria... at least he could buy himself another coffee while he was in there!

()~~()~~()

Gwendolyn still had her head buried in her hands when they walked into class, banging her head on the desk lightly. “I am so sorry I ever said anything.”

“It wasn’t that bad Gwennie. I’m just sorry Sammy jumped up on the roof before you could say hi.”

“I was happy just staring at him!” Gwendolyn’s glare came out weak, resting her chin on the desk. “I didn’t need you to chase him around the quad!”

“Eh, I needed exercise! Aw, I’m sorry Gwennie, I didn’t mean to embarrass you!” Scarlet’s tune changed quickly as she threw herself in the seat next to Gwendolyn. “I won’t do it again!”

“I hope not, because I don’t think the school would be happy with a repeat performance,” Gwendolyn sighed, finally relenting enough to smile. She pulled out her laptop, opening up her writing while they had a few minutes to work. “Now get ready for class; I’m going to play around with this for a minute.”

“When’s it due again?”

“Next Tuesday. Have you even started yet?” Gwendolyn bit back a grin at the very weak excuses and let Scarlet dig through her own backpack for her writing notebook.

As their classmates filed in, most of them congratulated Scarlet on the amusement, and just about everyone was excited about it. At least it had been a break from the normal cramming people did between classes, and they were all excited about it... except for Theodore, who had walked in with headphones on and sat on the other side of the room.

Gwendolyn glanced his way, making sure she wasn’t caught. She didn’t want to get in the middle of the Theodore-Scarlet feud -again- but she was curious. Scarlet didn’t like many people, but she wasn’t normally so against someone so quickly... and Theodore wasn’t rude, he just had his own group. He was nice enough if you weren’t Scarlet... which, as much as Gwendolyn loved her, was understandable.

Still, Gwendolyn wasn’t going to bring up squirrels around Theodore. There were some things -cute, fluffy, adorable things- you didn’t mention around people you didn’t know well. Squirrels were one of them!

()~~()~~()

Things might have gone alright from there, but the professor made a mistake halfway through the lecture. They had been spacing out; he was repeating things he’d mentioned last class, but then he made the deadly mistake of mentioning squirrels.

Scarlet, who had been completely out of it, finally tuned in with an uncharacteristic squeak. “Squirrel?”

The poor professor was left with a daunting task of regaining control as the majority of class broke into cheers and laughter... except for the two -on separate sides of the room- that groaned and hid their faces exactly at the same time.

[adreamerstestimony]

Music Challenge!

You can tell a lot about a person from the type of music they listen to. Hit shuffle on your iPod, phone, iTunes or however you listen to your music and then write down the first 10 songs that come up. Tag 10 people you want to do it too! One rule: No skipping!

1. Running on Empty x Jojo

2. Hot Sugar x Tamar Braxton

3. All Me x Drake

4. Change Your Life x Iggy Azalea

5. HoustAlantaVegas x (Drake) Jojo remix

6. My Everything x Tynisha Keli

7. Poetry x Danity Kane

8. Let it Rain x Jojo

9. Not in that Way x Sam Smith

10. Change x Dawn Richard

I really hate it repeated artist but I am kind of obsessed with certain people.

[engepee-blog]

Final Piece Changes

Looking at the feedback I've received from the public and Kate ( Head of Marketing) I will change my final piece. Changing the final piece to just the one advertising campaign of the giant envelopes.

When I came in to do my final piece there were a few complications. Although there were complications, they're now resolved. The initial problem with my final piece was my placement  in the show, my final piece has 3D objects so this made me switch place. Also I stated that I wanted the public to interact with my envelopes, speaking to my tutors they thought it wasn't such a good idea because it would be too hard to communicate the message to interact with my work. The solution is to how the envelope campaign as my final piece, and to show all the aspects. So I Will present two envelopes, two images of the public reacting to the envelopes and I will show the letter. I will also play with the idea of the envelopes being engaged with by - having one envelope pinned up on the wall, and the other will be placed on shelf with the letter coming out of it, and the envelope being ripped i.e. playing on the idea of someone has opened the envelope. 

[belpetite]

The Minimalist Challenge

All the challenges that sprung up last year (the cold water challenge, the cinnamon challenge, etc.) caused me to think about different types of fashion geared challenges. For some reason or other my attention was directed towards minimalist fashion. As time has progressed my focus on minimalism has increased.

What is minimalism? According to Merriam-Webster Dictionary, it is "a style or technique that is characterized by extreme spareness or simplicity." From the fashionista's perspective, minimalism carries a subtle aura that causes the wearer to become enshrouded in elegance. Perhaps those nuances of grace develop from higher-end pieces that fall under the minimalist category.

Fashion runways today bear eccentric and avant-garde draperies, jewels, and footwear. Sometimes, items that are absolutely thrilling to see and cause the love at first sight effect cannot be worn in public on a regular day to day basis. Of course, we all need that special dress for the cocktail party next Saturday or the sky high heels for Lucy's wedding on Wednesday, but are those items really necessary? I asked myself this question and have decided to challenge myself to "simplify, simplify, simplify" as William Zinsser might say (taken from his book On Writing Well). Obviously though, this simplifying process will apply to fashion and not writing. Unluckily for me, that means I will have to shed my layers, even for winter. Despite this, I am quite hopeful to see where this experiment goes. Will "detoxing" my style put me through a not just physical but mental catharsis as well? I guess I'll just have to wait and see. In the meantime...

[marvelouslymonogrammed-blog]

Love and Goodbye

I've experienced a lot of goodbyes in my life, and the thing is, they never get easier.  I've moved away, lost friends, lost touch, said goodbye to loved ones, and been left alone more times than I can count.  With each sad parting, I feel a stinging in my stomach, a giant pit, a hole that cannot be filled no matter how hard I try.  

The hardest thing about loving someone is knowing that, someday, you will have to say goodbye to that person.  And maybe that's why some of us are so reluctant to give our hearts away, like I am.  I build walls around my heart, refusing to give it out to anyone so easily.  But the years of building have caused my heart to become hard and impenetrable.

I didn't want to love because I didn't want to take the risk of saying goodbye.  But goodbyes are inevitable.  Loving a place makes your departure from it that much more bitter.  Loving a friend means giving them your heart to hold, break, and say goodbye to.  And loving a boyfriend or girlfriend leaves you vulnerable, allowing him or her to hold the very essence that is your soul. Saying goodbye to this person means leaving a part of your soul with them, so you will never be complete again.

But maybe it's not about being complete.  Maybe life's about starting complete and leaving pieces of you everywhere you go, at different places and with different people.  Maybe that was God's intention.  And, maybe, just maybe, when you say your goodbyes to everyone here on earth and greet God up in Heaven, you will be able to say, "God, I did it. I left my heart with the people and things I loved, and now I can only love you."

[smokeyfilms]

Week 5: Cinema as Skin and Touch

“The lived body transparently provides the primary chiasmatic premises that connect and unite the senses as both carnally and consciously” (Sobchak p.84).

My favorite film, Her (Jonze 2013), starring Joaquin Phoenix, is a melodramatic and ever-precise sensory overload. In an urban, futuristic setting, the protagonist Theodore (see image) is haunted by memories of his wife, whom, for reasons he is yet to come to terms with, has recently left him. Reduced to a melancholic blur of reality, burdened by nostalgia, Theodore treads lightly as he finds himself falling in love with a highly intelligent operating system, Samantha.

The motif of contact and touch plays a fascinating role in this film, as it is arguably limited in its blatant visual portrayal, however unthwarted in its ability to elicit a haptic response in the spectator, through harnessing alternative carnal means. Skin-to-skin sensations are manufactured in Samantha and Theodore’s relationship, where touch is replaced by the visceral implication of sensual experiences, providing the spectator with the same “sensuous and bodily form of perception” (Sobchak p.54). This is demonstrated primarily in sex scenes in the beginning of the film, where they solely rely on the characters imagination and story-telling ability to convey intimacy. Furthermore, Jonze employs a technique that is “not predicated on a negation of the visual, but rather attempts to understand the senses and their interplay” (Elsaesser p. 110). It could be said that Theodore is positioned as a spectator himself, as Samantha uses vocal imagery to produce a haptic-like response in Theodore, to which the audience is able to identify. Moreover, this pseudo-cognition of being touched, without physically being touched, is experienced in Theodore, similarly as it is to the audience when watching the film.

Imagery of skin-to-skin contact, however, is Illustrated in a scene where Samantha invites a woman into Theodore’s home to host a sexual experience between the two partners. This is interesting as Theodore is not used to the sensation of a woman’s touch when engaging in sexual practices with Samantha, to which he ultimately finds it overwhelming. Jonze incorporates breathy, close to the microphone, stimulatory whispering sounds accompanied by the visual of pulling of clothes, close-ups of on-skin hand placements to allow an “undifferentiated experience of sense that grounds and conjoins body and language” to which the “feeling and knowledge of their coincidence so ordinary in our experience, that their sudden divergence is marked as frustrating” (Sobchak p.75). Jonze emphasizes physical touch is a mere ingredient in the complex cocktail of sensory indicators involved in perceiving intimacy and connection in adult relationships.

1. Her 2013, Warner Brothers Entertainment Inc, Directed by Spike Jonze.

2. Elsaesser, T & Hagener, M 2010, Film Theory: An Introduction Through the Senses, Routledge, New York.

3. Sobchak 2000, What My Fingers Knew: The Cinesthetic Subject, or Vision in the Flesh

[thewrittenpost]

Quarter Century Challenge Masterpost!

Figured I’d make it easier and put the 25 pieces together in one post! I know it had a tag, but this should make it easier for me too, bypassing digging through the blog and all the Read Mores!

Candle

Summer

Costumes

Rose

High Heels

Competition

On-stage

Babysitting

Animated

RPGs

Road Trip

Summer Camp

First Job

Doodles

Finales

Music

Shakespeare

Siblings

Perfume

Winnie the Pooh

Mochi Day

First Days

Squirrels

Video Games

Dreams

[adreamerstestimony]

Happy Birthday lil hunty! You are honestly one of my greatest friends and one of the greatest people I've ever met. Thank you for the many fabulous years of friendship (also thanks for the netflix password.) You are beautiful inside and out. I pray all of your wildest dreams come true you deserve it. Let the queens say yaaaaas! Love you! @nashaesworld

[engepee-blog]

Project Summative Evaluation

Choosing to advertise the Exhibitions for my project was a good choice because I intend to study graphic design, and have not previously experienced working on an advertising campaign. I have learned that my brief was too wide, making it difficult early in the project to generate suitable ideas quickly. If I were doing it again I would write a concise two-part brief to enter the HCA poster competition, giving me an initial deadline, followed by developing a guerilla marketing campaign. I was slow exploring possibilities at first because I felt I needed to research advertising generally, and I did not have a product to focus on. When I chose the theme, and developed knowledge, my ideas and work speed increased. Work rate is something I need to improve if I work commercially.

  I think my research is a strength. It was thorough throughout. I now have a good understanding of contemporary advertising and have produced work fluently, building on what I learned. Yossi Lemel inspired me to think creatively about design, I used Bauhaus ideas about colour theory, Dana Tanamachi influenced my use of chalkboards and I developed the idea of giant envelopes from research into McDonalds’ guerrilla tactics. I value the experience of primary research. It was visiting the Lichtenstein exhibition and seeing how the Tate used guerilla marketing on tiles in the Tube that was the most inspiring experience. From consulting with marketing I was able to identify the stronger of my two campaigns for my final piece.

  Although the blackboard idea is original and has potential to open up new markets, I decided that the envelopes were stronger because they are interactive, fun, and inviting. The stamps are real students and the typography is relevant to the College image. It is affordable and versatile and the slogan ‘delivering first class education’ could be rolled out for further marketing. I have received positive feedback from the public and the marketing manager said it was ‘brilliant.’ If I were able to continue the campaign I would place envelopes in unexpected places such as swimming pools and parks.

  I now feel ready to pursue a graphics degree with confidence. Writing a blog and recording public reactions to my work have been useful learning experiences. I am beginning to develop an individual style through the use of print. Visiting degree shows was interesting for ideas about presenting my final project. If I were graduating now as a designer I would make envelopes with my business cards in.