#YMIR DESERVES BETTER!!!! AND SO DOES HISTORIA!!!!!!!! | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

leviiattacks · 4 years

Note

Hi, you're a very talented writer and your works are very beautiful. Can I request one where Levi's fem s/o does the ignore your boyfriend prank? Thank you so much and take care of yourself ❤️

author note :: thank youuu i’m glad you think that anon !! this isn’t good at all bc i’m just very sick and yeah,,, i’m sorry if this doesn’t live up to your expectations but i needed something to do and ended up finishing this. hmmm what is this is it fluff?? idk it’s captain levi and survey corps member reader though :-) requests are open so feel free to drop by if you’d like :D word count :: 3.4k

you should NOT be bothering levi as much as you are because he understands you need your own space to relax sometimes

but come on... you’ve been ignoring him for an unreasonable amount of time now??

and he’s not talking about groggy ignoring, it’s not the type you do when you’ve just awoken from a restless night’s sleep

no. you’re talking to everyone apart from him.

and it’s driving him up a literal wall

did he do something wrong???

has he made a mistake so large that you’re too scared to bring it up???

are you finally sick of him??

will you break up with him?

levi winces when thinking of that specific question

but he’s the type to silently keep his worries to himself as soon as he sees any indication of a bad omen

currently, he’s mentally preparing himself for you to break the news to him any day now

but little does he know you’ve just pulled a prank hoping for him to whine and complain a little

the point of this all is to elicit an out of character reaction

;-)

the idea came from historia at first

her playing such a foul trick on ymir didn’t go unnoticed and little by little ymir’s resolve crumbled away throughout the day

she went quite literally ballistic trying to get historia’s attention

and watching it all play out made you want to try it out with levi

you’d be a FOOL not to

WELL!!!! the fun part about this is that you’re a bit actually, no. a lot, more stubborn than historia!!!

and instead of committing to the prank for a day you’ve chosen to see how far you can stretch this out

if you have to drag it out for two days so be it

you have good reason to

levi isn’t the most affectionate man, your relationship is kept a total secret from all of the cadets

meaning pda never happens

and,,, listen you would love to kiss him before expeditions without having to drag him behind your horse for cover

to be frank the back of a horse does smell rather unpleasant and it’s not as romantic as you’d like for it to be

honestly you’d rather have everyone stare and gawk in awe watching the two of you make out

seeing them put two and two together realizing what it is that’s going on between you and the captain would be hilarious

especially since reiner said last week he could never picture levi dating anyone

AND!! he even had the audacity to say he thinks someone like him would never date someone on the team

is it really not that obvious to them?

do you and levi lack chemistry?

silently fuming you walk away and even then none of the cadets get the hint

but you do think mikasa has known for a while. her senses are sharp and whenever she sees you and levi together she makes a u-turn heading in the opposite direction away from the both of you

but even if she does she isn’t going to tell anyone about it unless she’s directly asked so it’s not like the cat will be out of the bag any time soon

it’s silly getting worked up over reiner’s comments but it’s kinda disheartening having the relationship be kept a secret

and you thought even if it was there would be at least a hint of a rumour, like it should be decently obvious it’s been months since the two of you began to see each other

ESSENTIALLY, this is your plan to “accidentally” let the cadets figure it out

eventually levi will have to get restless enough to do something bold

that’s what you think will happen

but then the reality of the situation hits you at the end of the first day

he seems to be dealing with it just fine ?????

after giving him the cold shoulder he shows no signs of returning at all

...

WHY IS IT NOT WORKING???

mayday mayday mayday....?!??

red alert....?!??

you are about to bang your head against a wall he’s the one who’s meant to be suffering over this not you

but again, you’re stubborn and won’t give in easily

by the end of day one levi has approached you two times

two...

each time you’ve given him completely blunt responses

it’s frustrating you that he’s just dealing with it as it comes

and when he does speak to you it’s not to ask what’s wrong

the first time he approaches you is to ask if you’ve seen petra around which makes your blood boil a little because everyone knows petra has a big, fat, MASSIVE crush on him

you know he won’t ever reciprocate or anything for a number of reasons but you can’t help but feel annoyed

the second time he speaks to you is to ask if you’re willing to help hange out with some paperwork

??????

he doesn’t even look interested in asking you what’s wrong

honestly you would drop this plan but you’re in too deep now

may as well keep it up.

the second day rolls around and it’s not your best day

you burn breakfast

trip over a broom and hit your leg rather hard against the dining table

spill an ENTIRE cup of tea over hange’s important documents

and you haven’t slept a wink after overthinking your relationship status for hours on end

maybe this prank wasn’t a great idea

you’re hunched over the documents close to tears not knowing how you can save them now

there’s nothing you can do and even though you know hange will be okay with it, (they’ve never cared much for paperwork) you just don’t want to inconvenience them with this mess

“y/n?”

looking up you see eren standing by the doorway of the kitchen watching with a humored expression as you place paper towels over the disaster you’ve created

“captain’s looking for you.”

perking up a little internally you make sure to remain as disinterested as possible on the surface

“what does he need?”

“i don’t know he didn’t say.”

“tell him i’m busy.”

and that’s all that occurs during day two

you pass by levi and occasionally his gaze flicks to you but he doesn’t take any action to address you in public or in private

you end up going to bed even more disappointed than you were the first night

the prank definitely isn’t going the way you want and instead of it leading to levi cornering you in front of everyone and dipping you into a dreamy swoon worthy kiss it’s led to you developing doubts.

many doubts.

but you aren’t giving up any time soon, now more than ever you want to be reassured levi even wants this relationship because he’s not acting like it

it’s admittedly a bitch move on your part for pulling this prank in the first place but you expected him to ask how you were doing it has been forty-eight hours after all

if the roles were reversed you’d force him into a room until he would tell you

so you can’t explain his weird behaviour at all

maybe he doesn’t like you as much as you think

that thought makes your eyes sting at the corners

he’s always been reserved and a little lost when it comes to opening up but you’re beginning to lose hope if he finds it this hard to ask if you’re okay

drifting off to sleep before you can wallow in your thoughts any more you wish tomorrow is better

it’s the third day and to say you’re exhausted is an understatement

midday and you’re training in the sweltering heat

the lack of sleep you’ve had recently paired with your stress isn’t doing you any good

a little dizzy you attempt to hold onto a nearby tree for stability but end up somehow missing the mark by a MILE??

tumbling to the floor painfully you hiss at the collision and rub the back of your head which is now sore

footsteps approach you in a hurry and for the first time in days you’re face to face with levi

“you okay?” concern is very much evident in his voice and that eases your nerves

without you even responding he’s turning you around just to check in case

nodding wordlessly you try to get to your feet when you feel a shift.

your ankle without warning gives out on you and you’re sent crashing back down to the ground

closing your eyes and bracing for impact you’re pleasantly surprised when levi catches you by the waist

your weight is leaning onto him and you’re looking down to the floor

hange is yelling from across the courtyard telling levi to drop you off at the infirmary but he doesn’t need to be told that

his instincts do the talking for him and he’s already slung you over his shoulder and begins carrying you towards the base

“levi. put. me. down. this position’s embarrassing.”

he doesn’t respond and you can hear sasha and connie cackling at the compromising situation

swatting his back you’re huffing and puffing yet he’s still ignoring you

you’re being given the silent treatment but you suppose you do deserve it

sighing you deal with the stares you receive on the way there

this is levi and at this point nothing is seen as abnormal when he does it

you can’t really look behind you to see levi’s expression either but when a cadet walks past and mouths “y/n, what the hell did you do??” you know you’re in for it

eventually he reaches the infirmary and without even letting you get a word in he plops you onto the bed albeit a little rough

“what’s with the cold shoulder?” he places both his arms by your sides leaving you trapped

“i-”

“if you want to break up you can just say that instead of beating around the bush.”

you’re stunned by the harsh tone of his voice, he doesn’t have his usual soft timbre and your eyes glaze over in defense

“you want to break up?” your question hangs in the air

chewing at your lip anxiously you know if you bite any harder you’ll draw blood

“i don’t care. if that’s what you want, sure.”

oh.

oh no.

this isn’t going how you planned

nails digging into the flesh of your palms you hang your head low

he doesn’t care at all

if that’s what you want????? really???? that’s his response??? he won’t even fight for you???

it’s silent as he bandages your ankle and you’re burning in a mix of embarrassment and fury.

“i was just pull-” choking up in the middle of your sentence you feel yourself automatically frown

“i was just pulling a prank on you. you know how historia did with ym-“

really you’ve always been terrible at holding back your tears and a few spill over the edge and you sob

why are you like this why why why why why?????

yeah,, you get why everyone calls you overly emotional from time to time but really you swear you feel your heart shatter a little at how levi’s acting

shielding your eyes with your sleeve you cower away from him

lord have mercy.

levi wants to curl up into a ball and die from the wave of embarrassment that hits him

a prank.

a trick.

and he didn’t catch on.

and now you’re crying.

because he thought acting tough and cold in case you wanted to break up with him made perfectly logical sense???

spoiler : it didn’t make any sense...

but now it’s made him look like he hates you??

but he doesn’t hate you

no, no, no. not at all.

he could never hate you.

you’re always willing to help anyone out, you’re genuine, always say sorry even when you don’t need to, unapologetically yourself at any moment, you’re fearful yet push it all aside to be courageous and most of all he loves your little hobbies because who in their right mind actually enjoys gardening??

he’s convinced people who say they like gardening are looking for something unique to make themselves stand out but really you enjoy it and it’s quite cute

ok, ok no more getting side tracked whilst talking about your love for plants

he could name so much more he admires about you but he’d be here all day

“i tried to talk to you yesterday but after you refused i thought you hated me and wanted to break up. that’s why i was acting like that just now.” he slowly tries to explain his point to you

“i know i’m hard to love so when you began to ignore me out of the blue i figured you didn’t want to-”

cutting him off without giving him the option of finishing his sentence you’re wide eyed in horror. he was NOT meant to interpret the prank this way.

“levi?? for as long as i’m alive i’ll never get tired of you. i promise.” his heart rate shoots and the intense magnetism between the two of you becomes stronger by the second

you pause for a second gathering yourself.

“and i’m sorry i should’ve thought about how you’d feel. the reason i did it was stupid.”

levi kneels by the bed and takes your hand in his, he graciously lifts the sleeve of your uniform and ducks down to press a soft kiss onto your wrist.

your heart flutters seeing him be so careful and gentle with you and bashfully you look away

guilt overwhelms you at that moment because you really are horrible for putting him through all of that.

levi cares for you he does

he may be silent about it and not the best at being public with it but you know how he feels.

you feel it in the way he looks at you

you feel it when he helps you mount your horse

you feel it when he double checks your harnesses before expeditions

you feel it when he tends to your injuries

and, you definitely feel it right now when it sinks in that he was acting like he hated you just so you wouldn’t feel bad if you really did want to break up with him.

he’s always been bad at picking up on hints and cues so you now understand why he interpreted it as you wanting nothing to do with him

of course he wouldn’t ask how you were if it looked like you wanted to skin him alive

“what was the reason for the prank?” he inquisitively asks genuinely wanting to know what it is he can do for you

“i...” you’re wandering off and suddenly don’t want to tell him

“i wanted you to kiss me.” you whisper in a rush

he cocks an eyebrow up even more lost. “i kiss you all the time?”

“i mean, in front of everyone else.”

he blinks and his mouth forms into an “O” shape

it’s a little awkward now

he doesn’t bring it up again so you assume he doesn’t like the idea of letting everyone know just yet

and that’s okay!! you respect that!!

after all, you can’t get mad at him for it, it’s the best choice.

you don’t want people to accuse him of having bias towards you and it’ll probably upset petra and hinder her performance if her crush just suddenly starts dating out of nowhere

your gaze is back on levi and he’s now double checking the bandage on your ankle after tending to it

“you can’t walk for a few weeks.” he tsks

“be careful next time.” he’s always been blunt when he does show he cares and you warmly smile after not talking to him in days.

you feel the need to apologize again

“to make it clear i really am sorry, i should have thought more about you.”

he scoffs and rolls his eyes

“i’m overjoyed that my beautiful girlfriend doesn’t want to break up with me. now, stop moping around about it i’m over it.”

he scoops you up effortlessly and you wrap your arms around his neck.

“y/n, for the record, i’ll work on not jumping to the worst case scenario first.”

you love this aspect of your relationship

being able to understand how your flaws impact the other and choosing to make changes or adjustments

it’s sweet and you must be smiling like an idiot when thinking of it because levi blows a puff of air onto your forehead knocking you out of your daydream

feeling a little less light headed than before you notice he’s walking back out towards the courtyard

why is he doing that...?

“you’re walking in the wrong direction?”

“no i’m not.” he replies with a smug grin

oh my god

no he isn’t

oh my god

is he???

you’re bright pink in the face as you turn to look at him panicking when you hear hange’s group returning

eren can be heard arguing with jean as per usual and now you’re smacking levi’s chest even harder

“you don’t have to do this no, no, no. it’s okay really.” it’s funny how you’re begging him not to do what you’ve been waiting on for three days

but you really don’t want him to feel like he has to do this

as if he’s read your mind he replies. “i’m doing this with my own free will.”

he gives you one last grin and pushes you up against the wall, your back is against the cold yet solid surface and you tense up

oh god. it’s happening he’s diving down and it’s as if everything is moving in slow motion.

gradually you feel the familiar feeling of your heart jumping out of your chest

both of your lips mould together, he’s hoisting you up again preventing you from slipping away. hungry hands grip at your thighs and a knowing smile twitches across his mouth.

nipping at his bottom lip he groans and you nearly forget why it is he’s kissing you

that is until you hear a SCREAM from your right

“eren what the fuck are you yelling at?” jean’s voice can be heard scowling in the distance but you’re too distracted by levi’s mouth to care

eren must be speechless because nothing is heard until jean reaches the scene

“OH. MY. GOD.”

“WHERE IS REINER??? HE’S NOT GONNA BELIEVE THIS.”

“you’re both overreacting.” mikasa makes her appearance and you’re not sure if she’s seen you and levi yet because your eyes fluttered shut long ago

“Y/N AND THE CAPTAIN????? WHY ARE YOU JUST STANDING THERE MIKASA??” eren’s voice sounds so distressed you guess you’re right for assuming he may have had a crush on you at some point

“it was obvious, i don’t know how no one else knew.”

finally levi pulls away and you’re panting practically gasping for any traces of air

“what you looking at brats?” levi snaps in their direction and mikasa nonchalantly shrugs and walks away

jean and eren however, dash away at LIGHTENING speed probably on their way to let everyone else know of the shocking new development

levi pecks your forehead and you nudge your nose against his.

since that day you and levi have been able to get away with a lot more pda

you can hold his hand and stare at how pretty your hands look laced together

you can nuzzle your face into his neck without any questions

you can loop arms with him and even if he acts like he doesn’t enjoy it he genuinely does like walking around with you latching onto his bicep

although he still prefers the privacy of his office he’s more than happy to give in once in a while

and at the end of the day you’re ecstatic because there’s no more kissing behind your horse!!!

GONE ARE THOSE DAYS

wooHOO

honestly, you’re over the moon about it

and so is levi

:-)

715 notes · View notes

lunaekalenda · 3 years

Note

helo can I request 3 “They don’t compare to you. No one does.” with Levi Ackerman thank u ❤️♥️

of course! i hope you like it! i love petra but i thought she could be a good breaking point here sorry aa

levi x reader

mention of alcohol, a lil angsty, mentions of cigarettes.

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You ask for another shot while your head gets full of Levi. Of his skin and his kisses, his words and his smiles. You don't know if you're drunk from the alcohol or from his memories. Ymir gives you another one, looking at you with her pierced brow raised, taking silently a cup to dry.

"Didn't you drink enough?" she asks, looking concerned at how you take a sip of the shot. It tastes awful. Like the two previous ones. You usually don't drink, and that's why Ymir, your friend since high school, is so worried about it. You hear the door. Historia enters the bar quietly, a kiss can be heard on the background while you keep hiding your head between your arms. Historia asks Ymir about your bad state once they get parted.

"Levi and Y/N... They had a little fight over Petra." Ymir sighs.

Petra. You want to cry again. She's the root of the problem. The girl who Levi liked on high school, the one that left him sad when she went to study abroad. You started dating when he forgot about her, and now she casually appears again and more casually wants to have a tea with your boyfriend. Just with him.

"Y/N, I'm going to close the bar..." Ymir says. Her patience is reaching her limit. "Oh, goddess, get the ass out of my fucking chair."

You hear the door again. You don't take your head up. Whoever it is, welcome. You know those steps, silent but elegant. That fast breath, as if he has been running for a time.

"Y/N..." you hear. It's him. You don't even need to look. Levi is standing behind you.

"Go away." you say, taking the shot again to your lips. A delicate hand takes it. "Eh!" You take your gaze up. Historia has your shot, pouring it down the sink. You pout. "I paid for that, Hisu." You feel a warm palm on your shoulder.

"Let's go home, Y/N." he says. You look at him, angry.

"You're coming back to me after her rejection?" you ask. Levi raises a brow, lost on your palaver. He knows you're tipsy. He takes a deep breath.

"Please, love, let's go home and talk things calmly. Nothing happened with Petra." Petra again. Your head hurts every time her name is mentioned.

"We'll be outside. End your thing as soon as possible, someone wants to go home." Ymir says, taking a cigarette from her pocket. She and Historia leave the bar. Levi runs his hand on his hair. You look at him.

"Was the tea interesting, Levi?" you ask. You don't want to cry but you feel the tears on the corners of your eyes. Levi sighs.

"y/n, Petra is going to get married. To Gunther." he cuts you. You two stay in silent, his grey eyes against yours. The tear you've been trying to avoid falls silently, disappearing down your cheek. He gets a step closer. "She didn't invite you because she knows you don't tolerate her. And, for goddess sake, I'm in love with you. I will never cheat on you. You're the most precious one I have." his words are followed by a caress on your cheek while, with the other hand, he searches something on his pocket. Takes out a letter. "Here. Our invitation." Your eyes are slow to focus on the beautiful handwriting, "Levi and y/n." It's true. There was the proof. You shamelessly blamed on him. You didn't give him the trust he deserves.

"I'm sorry." you sob, before starting crying. He grabs you closer, letting you cry against his chest. He caresses your hair. "You deserve my trust."

"Promise me you won't doubt of me again. Everybody makes a mistake. The key is not making it again." he whispers.

"But she's so pretty... I thought you liked her better." you say.

"She doesn't compare to you. No one does." his breath hits your ear when he hugs you. "You're the most smart, beautiful, kind and good person for me. You're perfect." he says.

His lips find your forehead on a sweet kiss.

"Please, let's go home." you ask. He nods, giggling.

"Next time, don't drink that much, dummy." passing his arm under yours, he helps you to go out of the bar.

116 notes · View notes

pr1ncessm00n · 3 years

Text

for sale or wanted — jean kirstein x fem! reader

series masterlist

prev | next , part two

warnings: cursing, porco being toxic lol. dates are wrong once again sorry !!

[ playlist : love again - dua lipa ]

eight.

Half asleep and ready to go to bed, Y/N fell back into her bed. She picked up her phone, hoping to mindlessly scroll through some TikToks. Instead, she was met with two messages. Audibly gasping as she read Porco’s name, she dropped her phone, hitting herself in the face in the process. “Ow!”

Porco? Y/N thought incredulously. What the hell does he want?

Contemplating asking Ymir and Sasha for advice, Y/N then decided against it. This was her life, she couldn’t expect her friends to guide her though it. But God, was she such a coward when it came to Porco. It wasn’t like he was Prince Charming, but Y/N had an extreme loyalty complex. She couldn’t ever allow herself to let go of people. Porco used to berate her for that constantly.

Why are you so clingy? He would ask.

Who’s the clingy one now? Y/N thought bitterly. She decided to ignore Porco’s text until she could think of a reply that wasn’t along the lines of “No, fuck you.” She slid her thumb over to Jean’s message.

Great. Another text asking to talk. Why couldn’t people just send their question and save a girl the anxiety? Y/N scolded herself for allowing her egotistical ex to ruin her mood. Jean didn’t deserve her snappiness.

Jean sighed in relief. Thank God she replied. He didn’t know if he could handle the mortification if she didn’t.

Y/N pondered for a bit.

Y/N laughed quietly to herself. So Jean could in fact match her sense of humor. She exited out of their chat, mindlessly scrolling through social media. She actively avoided Porco’s message, not wanting to burden herself with the chore of responding to him. What could he possibly have to say? She headed to Twitter, hopefully finding something relatable to retweet. As Y/N scrolled, she saw a familiar face appear on her timeline.

Recommended for you from contacts, the header read. Below it was about 3 profiles of people in her contacts she had not followed yet. Among them, was Jean.

Y/N’s breath caught in her throat.

Should I? She questioned. Would she be overstepping some unspoken boundary? What if she hurt her own feelings by stalking and seeing something she wouldn’t like/had no business seeing? Maybe she should just ignore it. She doubted Jean was some internet creep… but wouldn’t it be good to know if he was? Curiosity getting the better of her, Y/N decided to invade that boundary and look at his account.

He didn’t have much content from what Y/N could see. He just retweeted fancy cars and some funny memes. She spotted Connie, Sasha’s lifelong friend and Jean’s infamous roomie. She mentally hoped Jean didn’t tweet like Connie. That would be the ultimate ick.

Y/N’s thumb stopped scrolling, hovering over a tweet. Her heart beated ten times more rapidly.

well she is pretty lol, Jean’s tweet read. Tweeted just an hour after he met Y/N.

Could it be? Y/N wondered. No way. There’s no way it’s about me. I’m just jumping to conclusions. Why would he say that about me? I’m just being self absorbed.

She brushed off her inquiries, deciding to just stop stalking his account entirely. From what she already saw, there wasn’t anything suspicious or icky enough to make her want to not interact with him. And she was already paranoid, so every tweet she saw she would begin to assume it was about her as well. She was just getting her hopes up.

Rolling over on her side, Y/N placed her phone to charge and went to sleep. It was late, which was probably what was causing her mind to become fuddled.

——

“You should’ve told me Sasha’s third roomie was Y/N,” Reiner had said to Jean in the truck. “I totally blindsided her. Top ten worst encounters of my life.”

“Uh, care to enlighten me? Do you guys have beef or something?” Jean asked, perusing the radio stations.

Reiner sighed. “She’s dating- was dating- my childhood friend, Porco.”

Jean felt his stomach drop. “Oh.”

Reiner glanced at him before stopping at a red light. “I said dating. He dumped her like a week ago. It was pretty trash.”

Jean secretly felt more at peace hearing that. Poor Y/N, but.. she could probably do better than this Porco person.

“So what does that have to do with you?” Jean asked.

Reiner shrugged. “I guess I didn’t really help. She said she felt a little betrayed. Like I agreed with Porco and my friends that she’s the crazy one.”

Jean nodded. “So you were a bystander.”

Reiner sighed again, tilting his head in an I guess motion. “It’s just hard. Porco’s like my brother, and I don’t agree with how he acted… but maybe I should have spoken up sooner.”

Jean patted his shoulder. “Don’t blame yourself, man. That was between them.”

“Yeah. I could have at least told Porco to step it up, though.” Reiner murmured.

I’m glad you didn’t. Jean snickered to himself.

“So, you think she’s cute?” Reiner shot Jean a devilish grin. Jean rolled his eyes.

“Yeah, I guess. You goin’ to Historia’s birthday?” He slyly changed the subject.

“Is it open invite?” Reiner’s eyebrows scrunched up.

Jean shrugged. “I have an invite. Maybe you can be my plus one.”

Reiner made a “Hmm” sound in response, weary at Jean’s invite. “What are you dressing as if you go?”

“I was thinking swag era Justin Bieber.” Jean replied, smiling widely.

Reiner gave him a look. “You for real?”

Jean’s smile dropped. “What?”

Reiner laughed. “I’d pay money to see how badly you embarrass yourself with that.”

“It’s a 2000’s party?” Jean was confused.

“Yeah, but everyone does like, early 2000s. Think Britney Spears and Justin Timberlake.”

Jean shot him a curious look.

“What? Pop culture is my guilty pleasure.” Reiner explained himself. “And everyone knows Britney Spears.”

Jean hummed in response. “I just think you got a thing for pop girls.” He referenced the earlier Becky G mishap.

“I’m not even gonna deny it anymore.” Reiner agreed, defeated.

——

“Guys,” Y/N said the next morning. Ymir and Sasha were at the breakfast “nook” (a corner of their miniature kitchen designated for a small table that barely fit all three of them), Sasha eating cereal and Ymir chomping on an apple while scrolling on her phone. “Porco texted me last night.”

Ymir continued scrolling, unfazed. Sasha’s eyes widened and she swallowed her food before speaking. “What? Why?” Y/N glared at Ymir.

“Thanks for your interest YMIR, but as i was telling Sasha-“

“I’m Sasha.” Sasha cut in, obviously confused.

Y/N gave Sasha a look.

“Did you say something?” Ymir said, bored. She still hadn’t looked up from her phone.

“Ymir!” Sasha scolded. “Y/N’s telling us Porco texted her!”

“Who’s Porco?” Ymir replied, monotonous.

Y/N sighed in exasperation. “Are you stalking Eren again? I already told you to stop comparing your subscribers-“

“I’m not stalking Eren!” Ymir snapped defensively. “I’m…” She mumbled the next part incoherently.

“Huh?” Sasha and Y/N asked in unison.

“I SAID,” Ymir repeated, annoyed. “I’m looking up Britney Spears outfits. Historia wanted us to go as different eras of her. But I can’t find anything that matches my style.” She grumbled.

Y/N’s heart melted. It was adorable watching Ymir struggle to find a matching costume for Historia. It was like Marilyn Manson wanting to get along with a CareBear.

“Just go as JT,” Sasha said, chewing her cereal.

“One, close your mouth, and two, Historia asked for us to go as Brittney. I can’t just show up like a dude.” Ymir visibly deflated as she scrolled through countless pictures of a younger Spear’s iconic looks.

“Why don’t you try her bandanna phase? That wasn’t so over the top, and she wore mostly jeans.” Y/N suggested as she squeezed into the corner chair.

Ymir sighed. “I don’t want to wear a skirt or some bimbo shit. That’s y’alls look.”

“How do you manage to sound endearing trying to please your girlfriend while simultaneously insulting us?” Y/N wondered aloud.

“It’s a talent.” Ymir waved her off. “What did you guys get her though?”

“A giftcard to Urban Outfitters,” Sasha replied. “I got tired of searchin’. I put $50 on it. I think that should be enough for like, a shirt and a half. She better like it, too. ‘Cus I’m broke.” Sasha pointed her spoon at Ymir accusingly.

“I got her the Taylor Swift vinyl she’s been wanting. And some pink film for her camera.” Y/N added. Ymir nodded approvingly.

“I hope she likes my gift. I don’t know if I’m moving too fast though?” For the first time since Y/N mer Ymir, Y/N hadn’t ever seen her this distraught.

“Calm down,” Y/N reassured her. “You’ve been together for years now. I don’t think you can move any slower.”

Ymir rolled her eyes, leaning back im her chair with arms crossed. “It’s a small trip to Seoul. I know she’s been dying to go. It’s not like it’s anything she hasn’t seen before with her family… but I figure it’d be different with just us.” Y/N’s heart melted.

“That’s so sweet!” Sasha exclaimed, eyes watery. “I want an Ymir!”

“Well, you can’t have me!” Ymir laughed. “It’s not a big deal. The sponsorship I managed to land gave me a decent payout.” Ymir sheepishly replied, her cheeks a faint red

Y/N nudged her. “Look at you, being modest.”

Ymir waved her hand. “Shut up. How does this look?” She turned her phone to Y/N, showing a picture of Britney Spears clad in low waist jeans, a black tank top and sure enough, a yellow bandanna.

“That’s perfect.”

Ymir smirked, smug. “Just like me.”

“Y/N!” Sasha shouted. “Go back to the Porco thing!”

“Oh, yeah. What did Oinky want?” The girls turned to face Y/N, who shrank a bit back in her seat.

“That’s a new one,” Y/N chuckled. “I thought of one last night, too,” She paued for dramatic effect. “Porker!” She gasped out, giggling, hitting the table in a slight fit of laughter. Sasha and Ymir gave Y/N a blank stare, unamused at Y/N’s mediocre roast.

“Not funny, didn’t laugh.” Sasha spat.

“If your career was stand up you’d be living in a box.” Ymir deadpanned.

“Tough crowd,” Y/N sighed, wiping imaginary tears from her eyes. “But if you must know…” She purposely stalled a bit, knowing it would send an impatient, jittery Sasha over the edge and annoy Ymir even more, even if she pretended she was not interested in the relationship drama between Y/N and her disgraced ex.

“Just say it already!” Sasha begged.

“I…don’t know. I haven’t responded.” Y/N finally admitted, putting her head in her hands. “I just-“ Her words were muffled by her hands.

Ymir removed her hands from her face. “Your words, darling.” She scolded, voice oozing sarcasm.

“Ugh,” Y/N groaned. “I’m too pussy to respond. He just asked if we could talk. What could he possibly want? What if he wants the couch? It’s just too much.”

Sasha gave her a sympathetic gaze. “Just leave him on read! If he wants to talk so badly he’ll find a way to say what he needs to.”

“For once, I agree.” Ymir added.

“Yeah, I guess you’re right.” Y/N stretched. “But it did keep me up at night wondering what he wanted.”

“Y/N, forget him! Historia’s party is soon, there’s no time to worry about ugly men!” Sasha stood up, rushing to put her bowl in the sink. “I got a lecture in a few, but you need to find your costume! We’re all going as Britney!” She said before disappearing into her room.

“Um, who’s gonna tell her we’re not all dressing as Britney?” Ymir inquired.

Y/N snorted. “Not I. I’m probably going as Suki from Fast and the Furious.”

“Niiceee,” Ymir fist pumped Y/N. “She was my sexual awakening.” Y/N choked on her muffin.

“Ymir, what’d we say about uncalled for horniness?” Y/N reprimanded. Ymir made her way to the coat rack, searching for her car keys in her leather jacket’s pocket.

“If I was gonna be chewed out for liking women I would’ve lived with my parents!” Ymir called out. “I gotta pick up Historia!”

“Will you be back?” Y/N shouted back.

“Get off my dick!” Ymir shut the door. Laughing to herself, Y/N picked up Ymir’s dish to place in the sink. She was, out of the three, the more tidier one. Ymir did the best cleaning, but she was selectively lazy.

“Bye, Y/N!” Sasha shouted before leaving in a rush. One thing Y/N had grown used to was the fairly chaotic mornings. She secretly hoped they would be like this for a long time.

Since Y/N had transferred, Ymir and Sasha had been the best roommates she could ask for. Yes, Ymir was snappy and Sasha was a bit ditzy, but it was the perfect combination and they were respectful. Y/N had transferred from Sina University purely for academic reasons, but she had not expected to fit in so well with the girls or their group of pre establish friends. She worried she would not fit in since they had already been so tight-knit, but found that wasn’t the case at all. They were open, accepting and loyal. Y/N couldn’t be happier where she was, and even though she wouldn’t admit it, she was grateful for how close they had all gotten in their short time together. Who knew randomly assigned rooming would provide her with friendship to last a lifetime?

Which is why every time she thought about Porco she kicked herself. How could she have let some… meathead ruin her freshmen year of college? She should have been having fun, interacting with Ymir and Sasha’s friends more, lived her own life. But no, she chose to become involved with a self absorbed fraternity guy of all people. Now she was semi-heartbroken, extremely humiliated, and about a year’s worth of time and effort short. She had allowed him to take advantage of her so much, that he felt he could contact her still after basically using her. The thought made her want to rip her hair out and scream.

Almost as if through divine intervention, her phone beeped with a notification.

What the actual hell? Y/N thought.

She froze for a second. What does she do? Respond? Ignore? Block?

After a few seconds of mental deliberation, Y/N finally decided. She was fed up with the lack of bravery she showed and decided to just end it once and for all. Typing out a response, she clicked send and decided to go to the mall for the retail therapy she was sure to need after whatever Porco said what he wanted to say. Turning the shower on, she braced herself for his response. What could Porco want? She couldn’t wrap her mind around it.

This better be good, Y/N thought.

taglist : @tsunderehokage @lagrimasdeglitter @snowyseungs @mukeovernetflix @bakugouswh0r3 @punicorn999 @deadlyaffairs @usernamehere91 @calumsfringe

a/n: woohoo!! long chapter. so to recap: i graduated!! i am finally free from the clutches of high school. i might do a face reveal :) bc i loved my grad dress. anywho, my fever cleared up, i have chapter 9 already completed (just need to revise + edit) and this is NOT proof read!! it’s 2 am guys i’m tired. but i hope you enjoyed this :) sorry for the weird cropping too. peace out

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yhwhsdaughter · 3 years

Text

How problematic are they? Would they get cancelled?

content: cursing, mild spoilers, insulting your faves, long list of characters

EREN ˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ soooo problematic and for what? in his defense, eren doesn’t actively try to come off as an asshole— he just has strong opinions and doesn’t really care if it rubs people the wrong way

MIKASA *ೃ༄ my girl out here getting hate for no reason. haters are just afraid because mikasa is a strong, independent woman who doesn’t care for their stupid comments

ARMIN ˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ armin is perfect, he can do wrong in my eyes. he’s the golden child of attack on titan. i dont accept criticism on this sorry

JEAN *ೃ༄ mmm yes but no; people would probably just give him shit because a video surfaced of him treating his mom kinda badly. some defend him and others don’t

CONNIE ˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ because he’s just a crackhead, connie might accidentally say something offensive. his manager will have to apologize on his behalf because he’d probably fuck it up and make it worse lmao

SASHA *ೃ༄ gets hateful comments because she’s unapologetically herself— doesn’t quite care for bullshit societal norms and does what she wants, which sometimes gets her in trouble

MARCO ˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ this man doesn’t have a mean bone in his body, someone protect him. if anything, he might just get caught in jean’s drama at times

HISTORIA *ೃ༄ publicly, she’s okay but i feel like she’d have some really dark and questionable morals on the downlow

YMIR ˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ misandrist. she’s not sorry either sjsjsjsj

ANNIE *ೃ༄ doesn’t really fuck with people. annie is the definition of “minding my business” but if someone gets on her bad side, bitch won’t be afraid to bring out the receipts

REINER ˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ made a lot of bad decisions when he was young and now they’ve come back to bite him in the ass. he’s really just trying to live his life but people will bring back shit he did like 5 years ago

BERTHOLDT *ೃ༄ others have done worse shit than him but ppl just focus on one bad thing he did. like, they won’t let go no matter how much time has passed. tries to handle it with grace but kinda snaps

LEVI ˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ do no harm but take no shit. levi might get a bad rep but he’s perhaps one of the least problematic characters. looks like he could shit in your dinner (and would) but only if you deserve it.

HANGE *ೃ༄ kinda crazy. hange is living life to the fullest, sometimes threading in dangerous territory but they are not offensive in general.

ERWIN ˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ my man is no angel, he’s done his fair share of problematic shit but somehow smooth talks his way out of punishments??

FLOCH *ೃ༄ he’s easy to hate. mostly cuz he’s a shitty person but partly because he looks so annoying.

MARLO ˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ he’s the one cancelling people. jk, marlo would try his best to be a good role model and dislikes cancel culture because he thinks it doesn’t teach people to be better by learning from their mistakes (this varies on the situation)

KENNY *ೃ༄ drunk uncle that can beat your ass no matter how old he gets. not a good parental role either!! homo— sexual? phobic?

RICO ˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ this waifu might seem like a bit of a hardass with unsavory opinions but doesn’t have malicious intent so we give her a pass.

PIECK *ೃ༄ homegirl is asleep most of the time. she doesn’t have the energy to be problematic.

PORCO ˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ porco acts really high and mighty for someone who’s quite problematic. always starts beef with reiner. it’s so random too, like ??

MARCEL *ೃ༄ the better twin. not problematic whatsoever. he’s actually the one who deescalates his brother’s fights. bless him

COLT & FALCO ˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ really wholesome siblings and people in general. they’ve never done anything wrong in their life, ever.

GABI *ೃ༄ for a child, she gets a lot of hate. gabi doesn’t quite fully understand the adult world so she might say or do things that bother people. doesn’t mean she deserves the hate but anyway—

YELENA ˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ a culprit by association. adores zeke at an unhealthy level and condones all the bad shit he’s done. knows the diff between right and wrong but ignores it. may or may not have mafia connections

ZEKE *ೃ༄ zeke is the type of person who’s in the wrong but refuses to admit it. his way or the highway.

ONYANKOPON ˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ he’s an unproblematic king. wouldn’t be afraid to apologize or own up to his errors and that’s why we stan

TYBUR *ೃ༄ probably an incel. despite the obvious red flags, i feel like he’d manage to gaslight people into thinking he’s a good person. probably a cult leader too

NICCOLO ˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ “you punch a couple hundred orphans and suddenly you’re mean” niccolo took ryan reynold’s a little too seriously. he’s gordon ramsey w/ everyone except sasha

GRISHA *ೃ༄ uhh well he’s not winning father of the year award anytime soon. grisha has made some mistakes and sorta learned from them? he’s trying his best but he’s on thin fucking ice

CARLA ˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ unlike her son, miss carla wouldn’t get cancelled. everybody loves this milf (as they should). horny thoughts aside, she’s actually really sweet

REINER’S PARENTS *ೃ༄ i’d label them as the worst parents in aot but that title is reserved for historia’s parents. anyway, these mfs would have CPS on their asses since day 1

HISTORIA’S PARENTS ˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ crème de la crème of being asshole parents. CEOs of shitty parenting. everyone hates them and for good reason.

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ourmondobongo · 3 years

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Hello! What do you think about ErenxHistoria? I’ve been on different AOT fanpages and there’s people who really aggressively ships them lmao. I’m not into 104th ships, but I think they worked more as allies, although I kinda see the appeal? Just because I’m not that fond of EM. But in the end, I feel like Yams didn’t give more insight about Eren and Historia relationship, and EM…well…mmmm Mikasa deserved better. I think Eren and Armin had the best ending between them hahaha

Hi!!!

I'm with you in all takes: I'm not much into 104th ships (tbh, I'm just LH basically lol), and I don't ship EH, I'm not fond of EM, Mika deserved better, and EA did feel nice in their ending (their BROTP was nicely done from start to the end, imo).

Like, everyone has the freedom to ship whoever they want. But this doesn’t mean it is canon or what the author intended.

Eren never showed any signs of romantic love toward Hisu. Before chapter 90, he was all about vengeance, Titans, his own struggles, friendships; after 90, he was playing dark side, immersed on his Founder's Power troubles, battling Marley, and Mikasa was in his memories 200x times.

Hisu had a very solid love story with Ymir pre-90; she had a fair friendship with Mikasa (it seems at least); and tbh her pregnancy plot is disgusting imo. It IS justifiable by some plot reasons, but still it's depressing and horrible for a character like hers to go through this.

And I wonder if this isn't one of the many reasons why a lot of people were so vehemently expecting the father of the baby to be Eren. Because Hisu got forced to sleep with a "faceless" guy, who had no relevance in the main plot, and that one could barely develop any sympathy for as his agenda was basically just be "the once mean boy who threw rocks at Hisu, and regretted and repented years later, and was used by Hisu to have a nearly unwanted child". I think Hisu fans must have felt horrible and so unsatisfied for this all, and in these circumstances, Eren being the father does seems (at first sight) a less shitty idea. But also, there is the "King of Non-Virgin MC" idea too, and the "Chad!Manipulator!Ereh" especially in part of the male readers' side...

But in the positive light, there is the ones who really cherished EH interactions, which ARE pretty nice for real!! They have memorable moments together, especially during Uprising Arc - I highly recommend rereading it because the anime doesn't do justice to it. However, if you really pay attention to their interactions, and the extra contents (like, YH has 02 OSTs for them kind of - Call of Silence and Zero Eclipse -, and Call your Name is very EM), I think who they hold dearest in their hearts it's pretty clear.

So EH do have a relevant and important relationship. But it's very hard to believe Yams was planning on making them canon couple while EM was somewhat romantic since the very beginning, and YH is VERY canon.

And, ugh, love triangles in snk was the last thing the plot needed in this finale. The amount of hinted and underdeveloped romance is already a great headache as it is...

#answering devoted hearts #ships in snk became a real mess of wars #and they still keep growing #😫

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astridthevalkyrie · 3 years

Note

okay okay, which dragons would the squad levi + sc veterans would ride or own?

ooh, interesting! let’s go through the characters under the cut!

eren - monstrous nightmare

i feel like i don’t really need to explain this one. eren jaegar is bold and brash and would absolutely love to ride a dragon that could set itself on fire. it would channel his rage and his desire for freedom all at once.

the image of eren lying back, letting the wind hit his face as he soars above the sky makes my heart hurt but i love it. he truly deserves everything.

mikasa - night fury

mysterious, one of a kind, and extremely powerful to boot. mikasa on a night fury would be terrifying and deadly and fantastic. she would whip through the skies in the dark, clutching onto the saddle with one hand and her sword in the other.

armin - bewilderbeast

this one might seem out of nowhere, but hear me out - not only is the bewilderbeast a tidal class dragon (because of course armin needs a dragon connected to the water), but it also suits him really well! little guy with a whole lot of power, the ability to decimate an entire area all at once if he really wants to. overall the bewilderbeast isn't really an instrument of destruction, it's just a gentle giant.

jean - deadly nadder

"just because she's beautiful, doesn't mean you should underestimate me. I mean her. I mean, us."

given that jean is canonly the best in the 104th with odm gear, i think a fast flying, sharp shooting dragon would work with him swimmingly well. he'd be able to pull off smooth maneuvers in tight areas while everyone else looks on in awe.

sasha and connie - zippleback

this one is pretty self-explanatory. you can't have connie say that sasha was like his twin and then expect me not to give them a zippleback to ride together.

historia - flightmare

everyone is so obsessed with the aesthetic and how pretty it glows in the midnight that they're surprised by how deadly it can be. if you're not fast enough, you'll be caught in the trap, unable to move even a muscle.

ymir - razorwhip

the razorwhip has always given me an outsider vibe, in the sense that i think it can feel when someone needs companionship. ymir was alone for so long but she was open and genuine, so i think she would bond with her dragon relatively quickly. her, lounging on a cliffside, leaning against the scaly skin of a razorwhip....it's picturesque

reiner - changewing

oooooh can you say camoflauge? reiner, who's so good at lying that he believed it himself. reiner, unassming and trustworthy at the same time. reiner, who blends in so well he gets lost. he'll use that acid wisely.

bertholdt - gronckle

listen. only a gentle, slow dragon for the best boy. he doesn't need a crazy fast ride. he doesn't need a sharpshooter or crazy firebreather. the gronckle, like him, can defend itself, but flies calmly through the air without striking fear in anyone's heart.

annie - triple stryke

annie's took me the longest to decide because i couldn't really figure out what dragon she would take a liking to, but then i finally decided what's better than a dragon with three different sets of tails to poison someone with? deadly, and hard to gain the trust of. it takes nerve of steel, cleverness and someone incredibly patient to tame this dragon, and i'd say the girl who spent multiple years encased and unable to move definitely has that patience.

only ten images allowed per post, so there won't be any visuals for the veterans, sorry!

erwin - deathsong

oh commander, how cunning of you. to lure in other dragons with a sweet song, leading them to their untimely doom. at the very least they'll have the relaxing melody coax them asleep, along with the pretty words you'll tell them as they lay down their lives.

hange - skrill

hange could harness lightning by themselves if they really wanted to but it doesn't hurt to have a striking berserk dragon of war do it for you. it also looks really really cool and will definitely share hange's passion for striking immediate fear into enemies' hearts.

levi - terrible terror timberjack

humanity's strongest works well with a dragon that has excellent maneuverability, rarely shows signs of fatigue, and can slice through just about anything with their incredibly sharp wings. the dragon is practically an extension of levi himself.

it also does that cool spinning thing when it takes off, so the fidget spinner truly has found his dragon soulmate.

#aot #attack on titan #aot headcanons #eren jaeger #mikasa ackerman #armin arlert #jean kirstein #sasha braus #connie springer #historia reiss #ymir #reiner braun #bertholdt hoover #annie leonhart #erwin smith #hange zoe #levi ackerman

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byallmeans1 · 3 years

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Me, cleaning my throat on the rooftop before I shout:

The fact that it's been hinted that Levi harbored feelings for Hange doesn't take away from the fact that that he was also in love with Erwin. Both are valid and Levi is still good representation because bisexuals are often misunderstood (this probably isn't the right term I'm sorry) in and out of the lgbtq+ community and branded as "confused" or "attention seekers". The discource of Eruri var Levihan proves this more than anything that bisexuality still isn't accepted and makes the need for representation even more important. Both ships had buildup, read the manga and stop biphobia and bisexuality erasure in media and in general. Also I'm pretty sure Hange is non binary which is also overlooked and blatantly ignored by the fandom ocassionaly which honestly, shame... Thanks for listening my Ted talk!!

(jokes aside I hope I got the point across right and didn't say anything offensive... If I did I'm deeply sorry and most likely didn't translate my thoughts very well since english isn't my first language and i have the communication skills of a newborn... 😖)

You're so right, anon! I guess some people just can't ship one character with two people. You know, loving only one person in a lifetime is a wonderful concept (only in fiction though :D) , and even I, when I think of Eruri and Levihan, like to divide them into two different universes. But even in the canonverse its possible to ship both, when you throw that "one love in a lifetime" aside! Levi falling deeply in love with Erwin, caring about him and following him around, and when Erwin dies, Hanji is there for Levi? And Levi realises they have always been there for him? When farlan and Isabel died? When he had no friends, Hanji stuck to him like glue, not minding his usual grumpiness. They accepted him just the way he was. And so, after Erwin's death, Levi slowly falls for Hanji. You can literally ship both in the canonverse.

My personal headcanon is that Levi is a panromantic demisexual though. I don't see him as a bisexual person, but i agree with what you said about bisexuals being misinterpreted and being told they're just confused. That sucks.

To be honest, I suspected I might be a little bit biphobic when I was trying to figure out why Er3Hisu pisses me off so much. But then I realised Yumikuri was such a wonderful ship, perfectly build up from start to finish, and then, when Ymir dies Hisu is being shipped with Eren fucking Yeager. And then I found out Historias bisexuality is not the case. Its just that every ship with Historia and a dude fucking sucks, and that's Isayama's fault. He put all of his heart into Yumihisu, and then he just threw Eren fucking Yeager, who I hate with passion, at her. And then Farmer-kun, who doesn't even have a face. Like- does she even love him? The only Historia ship that made any sense imo was Yumikuri.

I'm sorry for being off topic but I just needed to shout EREN FUCKING YEAGER FUCKING SUCKS AND EVERYONE EXCEPT FLOCH DESERVES BETTER.

Now, back to the nb Hanji... I love the fact that Hanji is nonbinary, and I also love the idea of Hanji being a woman, as I grew up convinced she was (I watched anime where they used gendered pronouns and I didnt know anything about manga Hanji). When I found out hanji might be nb, that was the first time I came across this term. I loved the idea of the nb folks getting some representation, but i was also scared of my own ignorance, that's why I stuck to female hanji for long. Now I'm educating myself on this topic, because I can't stay ignorant forever. I wish I could do both Hanji's!

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sonofthesaiyans · 3 years

Text

Petra Deserved Better

Just happened to run into some really cool fanart of Levi’s best girl, Petra. And all I could think was, “What Could Have Been.”

Those Titan markings in that third one??? Now THAT would be interesting, Titan!Petra.

No idea who made these, I claim no credit for anything.

I honestly don’t know whether to be thankful she was not in Season 4, or if I should be angry she didn’t last that long. Petra was another horrific waste from one of the show’s better seasons. But at the same time, why for fuck’s sake does anybody acknowledge the timeskip as canon? No aspect of that was good. But Petra might’ve made it more watchable. Because without Ymir, Sasha, and Historia, Mikasa and Hange could not save it by themselves.

Petra Ral deserved better. And so do we. We STILL deserve better from Hajime Isayama, four years after his miserable post-ocean arcs kicked in.

Give your hearts to one of Levi’s best.

And oh yes.....This story ended with the Ocean.

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emotionalcello-makefanfics · 3 years

Link

Additional Tags: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst, One-Sided Love, Romance, Canon Compliant, Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan Manga Spoilers, Kissing, Implied/Referenced Sex, Crying, Eren Yeager-centric, Sad Ending

Words: 6k

Summary: Eren has a dream that he will never live to see. So, at least, he wants to make this one small dream come true.

Eren has always been a dreamer.

Ever since he was a kid, he’d stare upon a wall and imagine the world outside. He’d dream about what he would do when he finally gets to go outside the walls. Armin would dream with him. The days inside the cramped walls would be a little brighter when he gets to dream of soft shredded ice falling from the sky and rivers of red molten rocks. The waves of glittery blue saltwater, the waves of green hills unending. To stand on top of the mountain and gaze upon the blue sky, seeing where it starts and ends in the horizons.

The dreams wouldn’t have gone wild nor wonderful had it not been for Armin. The naive creative boy that he always is, came up to him with big blue eyes filled with dreams that infect Eren on sight.

Looking back now, Eren doesn’t know whether his dreams had become everything he lived for, or a slow poison killing his insides.

Because all his dreams are dead the moment his lips met the back of Historia’s hand.

He grimaced at the memories. It took every will that he has to not vomit then and there at Historia’s feet.

Everything was never the same after he knew.

They ride out to the beach, and there it is. Infinite saltwater, blue as the sky, glittering in the sun. Yet he can’t feel happy about it, he had seen it with the previous’s attack titan’s eyes. The magic is gone before he gets to experiences it on his own.

His eyes stare longingly at the ethereal scenery in front of him, but all he sees is the enemy across the ocean.

Eren had a lot of dreams. Hopeful little dreams that all lead to one thing. He wants to be free. Free to explore. Free to be who he wants to be. Free to love. He can have none of those, because of the enemy that lurks behind the glittery waves.

If we kill the enemy, the one waiting for us on the other side, will we be finally free?

Not realizing that he said his musing, Armin steps by his side.

“I don’t think we can ever be fully free,” his blue eyes are as blue as the sky, as blue as the water. Eren wondered if Ymir put those eyes in him because this moment was destined too. “Even the people across the ocean aren’t free too, that’s why Grisha ended up inside our walls.”

Eren had fallen to a deep depression after the memories barged in, Armin’s words almost sealed him into rock bottom.

Almost, until Armin adds, “But we’re people. As humans we’re given a will, a choice to do things, even if there are consequences, nothing can ever truly stops us from doing what we want.”

Yes, this moment is truly meant to be, Eren thinks as Armin’s eyes filled with hopes and dreams, like it always meant to be.

“There’s always going to be enemies, Eren, but we worked our hardest to break out of the walls, and though we’re not fully free yet, we’re still rewarded.” Armin looks at him, and for a moment, the clouds parted, and it’s bright. Ever since the medal gifting, Eren had slowly ignored them all. This is the first time in many months that they meet eyes again, and of course, the hope and dreams latch on deep and rooting yet again.

“Right now, we’re being rewarded with the sea,” Armin looks down to the conch he’s holding, lowering it to the crystal clear water to sit in the sand. “We have big dreams, and it hasn’t come true yet, but the small dreams do. Didn’t we always dream to see the sea? Now we finally do, it came true. We broke out of the walls, the possibilities expand, there’s going to be a lot of small dreams coming true before the big one.” Armin looks at Eren with a mischievous glint, but Eren is too mesmerized to see what’s coming. “Like how you... can enjoy... a fist full of salt!” Armin throws a big splash of salt water on Eren’s mouth.

It’s so salty that Eren almost hacked his tonsils out. He doesn’t remember ever eating something so salty, ever. He used to beg his mom to put more salt in their dishes, but salt was a rare commodity and they’re far from rich. Now, Eren just had a fist full of salt.

Eren paused, and everyone’s stiff stares turn worrisome for him when Eren broke down into a manic laugh. As if the salt in the water isn’t enough, Eren contributes with his tears streaming down along the water in his hair.

Swimming in the clear blues, salty mouth, and vision almost whiteout by brightness, Eren feels like flying. He takes the saltwater and splashes Armin back along with Mikasa behind him.

Armin’s face broke into a wide smile and kicks the water at him. Eren gets completely wet, so is Captain Levi behind him. They all paled at the Captain’s scowl, but then Hanji squeals, “WATER WAR!”

And Eren will take water war over the other war he’s going to evoke.

++++

Small dreams

Or so Armin had said.

Once again, Armin filled him with hope. Maybe not all of Eren’s dreams are dead. It never occurred to him that he could settle for less.

Once upon a time, Eren dreamed of living in a cabin far in the woods. Where he can run and not bump into someone. Where he can breathe in crisp air instead of the damp breaths of other people. He dreamed of making a family in that cabin. Be in love, never feeling alone.

He had planned to do that with Mikasa. It’s so easy to love Mikasa, how couldn’t he? A stoic face that only brightens at Eren. She’s a quiet kid, but she shows affection with actions. Like how she’s always beside him no matter how petulantly Eren pushes her away sometimes. She’s distrustful but still trusted Eren the most. Her smiles are rare, but when she does, it’s always for Eren. It’s endearing.

Also, she’s beautiful. She doesn’t realize it and Eren sometimes wants to scream at her. But Eren never said anything to her, never admitted out loud. He knows since the day he met her that Mikasa is special. She’s calm, collected, mature and so strong. Eren never gets why she loves him, but Eren is afraid if she realized how special she is then she wouldn’t choose the lame, regular, non-special Eren.

But he wants her. He promised himself if the war is over then he’d confess his feelings to her and just... love her.

Eren wants to feel loved, to be loved, to be wanted and cherished. Wants all the romantical shit with that person. He’s loved by Mikasa, and he knows if Eren asks, Mikasa will never say no to Eren under positive circumstances.

Now that Eren knows the truth about Ackermans, he can never see Mikasa in the same light again.

Mikasa’s love -now that he gets a double-take- is scary. She gave her whole heart in her palm, her full dedication and love only for Eren, no questions, no hesitations, no doubts. What did Eren do to deserve it? To work for it? Nothing.

All Eren did was save her, and gave her a scarf because she looked cold and Eren’s mom taught him to be good. If Mikasa was a depraved kid lacking affection her whole life then Eren would’ve understood why Mikasa was taken by him. But no, Mikasa’s parents were good to her, what Eren did was not special to her.

She loves him, sure, like a dog loves its master. Unreasonably unconditional. And the dog doesn’t know what’s good for themselves, blindly loving their masters. Just like how baffling it was that a selfish serial killer like Kenny suddenly have a heart to follow a hidden king just because he begged prettily.

Having Mikasa love him doesn’t bear the same euphoric feeling. Eren isn’t special, just a lucky kid at the right time, she could’ve imprinted on anyone. Eren had thought this dream is dead.

Eren still loves her, she’s still a person, just a fucked up gene. So at that night infiltrating Marley with the team of survey corps, Eren asks her, “Why is it that you care so much about me? What am I to you?”

Mikasa blushes prettily, her breath quickens.

“You are family,” Mikasa admits shyly.

Unlike the dog that loves its master, Eren knows better. It’s not that Mikasa is pushing him away, Eren is family, Eren is her everything, that’s why all she said was those three words. And she feels all these things without any reason at all, so much that she can’t compute.

Then the family of the boy he helped offer alcohol, and Eren gulped it down. In a way, Mikasa broke his heart. Eren wasn’t special to her. Eren isn’t wanted, he’s being obsessed by, being followed by someone that doesn’t know better.

Morning comes. They’re in a boat on the way back to Paradis Island. Eren decides to give his dream one more try. Maybe it doesn’t have to be romantic? He settles for even less.

He finds Armin by the deck at 6 AM. The only ones awake around are them, the captain behind the wheel, and the fishes under.

His blue eyes take in the dark sea, the pinkish color of the dawn sky.

Eren knows why they both are the only ones up this hour after a whole night drinking. Turns out being a Titan means that you regenerate everything. They don’t get drunk too long, and they don’t get hangovers.

“Armin?” Eren can’t help the desperation in his voice, not in front of Armin. His best friend has seen him at his worst, and he’s still here, it must mean something, right? “What am I to you?”

Armin -who had been looking at him curiously the moment Eren spoke- drops his jaw. They look at each other for a while, and Armin seems to sober up from his shock and looks stern.

A pair of arms smack on either side of Eren’s face. It sobers Eren of all the melancholic brooding, even more now that Armin is putting a nagging face on. “Eren Jaeger, you listen to me. We’ve been friends since we’re gaggling children. You were a trouble-seeker even though you’re weak, couldn’t even land a punch on some goons! We all survived childhood purely thanks to Mikasa.”

“At least I tried to fight, unlike you, taking it laying down,” Eren growls, lifting his hands to pinch both of Armin’s cheeks. Gone the baby fat, they’re a little bit skinnier from growing up, and a bit too many muscles replacing it.

“Ow!” Armin grabs Eren’s wrist and to Eren’s surprise, Armin pulls his hands away easily. The strength stuns Eren’s mock anger away, and Armin looks at him with a solemn gaze. Eyes tinted pink look a bit lilac purple.

“I could never understand why you would befriend a weak kid like me, but then I figured it out.” Armin takes a deep breath, and suddenly Eren feels weak. Why is Armin looking at him like that? “You, Eren, are the most important person in my life. The one I cherished the most, and closer than family. No one realized how big of a heart you have, and your pride gets in the way of asking for help. But you care so much about everyone when no one was looking.” And Armin looks at him, Eren hears ‘but I did’, from Armin all the same.

“You’ve been different since we stepped into Marley,” Armin says, freezing Eren on the spot. Eren hoped he schooled his face as well as he thinks. “Whatever it is, you’re not alone. Alright? You have us, and we’ll always be on your side.”

Eren was done before he knew he started. Tears bursts from his eyes, lips frown deeply, holding back sobs.

“Oh! Eren, uh...” Armin awkwardly pats Eren’s back and Eren pulls him into the hug. It takes exactly one second for Armin to completely melt and wrap him into a tighter hug.

His heart bleeds. Armin did two things with his words. Makes Eren feel loved, and tore him a betrayal yet to be done.

It hurts because Eren knew, they can’t be on his side. They won’t, and that’s how it’s meant to be.

“Armin, can I try something?”

“I... guess?”

Maybe it’s Armin’s unpredictable blush or Eren’s half-broken heart, but it’s easy to just dive in. Eren didn’t realize how small Armin’s face is until he cups it, touched its cheekbones, trails the jaw, cradles the back of his blond hair. Leaning in is easy. Once meeting Armin’s lips, he felt some sort of instinct. It tells Eren to leans closer, tilts his head, licks the lower lip, and parts his own.

Eren wondered why lips taste so sweet and feel so soft, or was it just Armin?

When Armin’s arms find his sides and clutches, Eren feels heat riding up his spine, up to his head. He wants more. The morning is cold and every gentle move Armin does to kiss him back warms him with life. Finally, Armin parts his lips too, and instincts take over again. Tounge between teeth, roaming into his mouth.

Still, the best feeling of kissing is not how Armin feels on him, but how Armin is feeling him up. Armin kisses back with curious vigor, lips moving quicker, hands clutching tight. When Armin moves his hand to cups the back of his head and grabs his hair, Eren shivers. Eren wants more, wants Armin to want more of him.

Armin doesn’t feel the same, as he shows by stepping a wide step back. Eren gasps at the sudden space, cold strikes him like a slap, arms awkwardly hugging where Armin was less than a second ago. Blue eyes widen, in shock, but not in disgust, and Eren hoped.

“But... I thought Mikasa...” Armin stutters, hand on his lips. Eren empathizes, his lips still tingle too.

“I don’t think of her that way.”

“Liar, I saw you... You...” Armin’s words died away. Yes, he saw Eren looks besottedly at Mikasa when no one was looking. It changed though, and even though Eren isn’t transparent, Armin can read him like a dog-eared book.

“I don’t think of her that way anymore,” he corrects.

It’s true. Eren did think of her that way, not anymore. Eren loves Armin, but he never thought of him that way, now he can, and somehow it makes sense. His wild dreamer of a head can see it.

Armin’s silence is discouraging. Self-consciously, Eren feels that he might be moving too fast.

...

What’s Eren doing? What’s next? Going on a date? Be boyfriends? Share sweet nothings under the stars until Eren eventually betrays them all?

He knew he had to give up on his dreams, small as it is, and he won't live to see his one most important dream come true. Eren sees the suffering and the screams, but not the peace that came after.

Still, a part of him yearns and reaches desperately before Eren can pull away.

“We don’t have to talk about it,” Eren says, every word ripped from his flesh. Eren smiles apologetically at Armin’s confused expression. “It’s nice... I-I... You’re my everything too.” The confession is terrifyingly easier. Eren feels the heat on his face now, and the shaking cold of his fingers.

Armin takes a deep breath with his slacked jaw, still startled, but something changed in his face, softer.

Eren walks away, but a strong grip holds his wrist. Eren realized that strong as Armin is, he’s not as strong as Eren’s. Eren is just so weak for him. Since when? How could he never notice?

Well, he notices now, and it makes him flush when he kisses him. It doesn’t mean anything. Nothing can come out of it. Eren can’t dream of it.

“Since when?” Armin asks vaguely, but Eren still knows.

“Since just now,” Eren says truthfully.

Armin lets him go then. Eren doesn’t look at him when he walks away.

+++

But Eren never stopped yearning.

Everything starts coming to place. So fast, so perfectly that it scares him.

These moments with his friends are numbered, and with all the power given to him, he can’t stop time.

He remembers what Armin says, and what Eren can realistically take from it. Enjoy it while he can. Cherish his friends while he can. As embarrassing as it sounds, Eren was saying the truth when he said he wants none of them inheriting the Attack Titan. These people live through hell with him, and he’ll make sure all of them make it in the end. No need to bear the Titan for the sake of foolish wars. It all will end with Eren, and it’ll make one of Eren’s dreams come true. The friends most precious to him will live in peace till they’re old and grey.

All of this is for the dreams that Eren will never live to see.

But the small ones, his mind says in betrayal, it can come true right?

Those words are what got him yearning still for the one thing he had given up on, or trying to at least.

Nothing changes between him and Armin. Eren has more practice in acting, he finds it easy to have a poker face, seems like his face does the same thing if he’s in despair, so he lets it take over. Armin is a bit different. The tension is there though faint. Lurking glances at the corner of his eyes, disappearing just before Eren could turn and see. It was Eren that says they don’t have to talk about it.

He hates it. Hates that even without meeting his eyes, Armin still gives him hope.

Eren knows he’s been sneaking into Annie’s jail cell. A part of him feels jealous, another part feels relieved. Relieved because Armin can move on, and maybe they’d pretend they’re never a thing to begin with. Yet Armin never stopped staring, and Eren could never really let go.

Eren knows that inherited traits from previous owners of the titans are possible and real. Eren is almost entirely sure that Armin’s affection purely came from Bertholdt. Eren had the same lingering feelings too. Bursts of instincts and thoughts that came out of nowhere. He feels weird with his hair short. All he thinks of his mother is not her love anymore, but guilt. So he clutches the feelings he knows are his own. New as it is, his feelings for Armin are one of the things he’s confident in. One of few.

He’s a compilation of previous Attack Titans now, but he’s still him. Eren is more than a shell, more than a pawn. Still his own self. Still Eren Jaeger. Still his mother’s son.

“Still human.”

“What?”

Eren snaps back and sees Mikasa’s searching eyes. They’re helping around Historia’s orphanage again. The horse he’s brushing is nudging him to continue where he left off.

“Nothing,” Eren mumbles.

Mikasa looks like she wants to say something, but she doesn’t. She drops the hay she was carrying to the feeding bin and steps out of the barn with a worried look.

Eren can’t help but wonder if Armin would’ve said or done something different.

+++

It’s dark, nothing but the moon, the fireflies, and his oil lamp for light. His friends are back at the orphanage having a game night. Eren had said he was tired and wanted to sleep early, then sneaking out to take a walk alone along the dirt path from Historia’s orphanage. Eren feels misplaced in the group, detached. They’re all smiling, having fun, but Eren feels like he’s alone. For all the plan to work, he just needs to keep his mouth shut and trusts Floch and Yelena to carry on the plan.

Eren wishes he could tell someone. Wishes that it didn’t have to be genocide. Wishes he could live to see his dreams coming true and live for them. Wishes he has someone... just someone to cry on. To share his fear because Eren is terrified-

“Eren?”

He didn’t hear anyone coming, he was that deep into his head. Of course, it’s Armin, and of course, he looks worried.

“Oh,” Armin says, sad. “You don’t have to hide when you needed to cry.”

Eren takes a deep breath, taps his face, and turns out the dampness in his face was not from the humidity.

“Talk to me,” Armin is close to begging, but not quite enough for Eren to fold.

Eren can’t talk to Armin, or he’ll say it all, undo a nail in the dam and all the water will break through. All the fears nearly choke him to death if he lets it.

“Do you have small dreams?” Eren asks because he can’t handle doing the talking.

“I do,” Armin says easily. He gestures to one of the trees facing the clearing Eren was heading towards. They sit there, watching the sparse clouds moves. “The sea is one of them,” Armin says once they sat, the oil lap turned off. The moon is full, Eren can see every detail of Armin’s face.

“What else?”

“Well there’s the mountains, and the snowy dunes, Onyakopon says it’s called the artic... I want to travel the world.” Armin looks to the moon with his hopeful eyes, and Eren’s heart is pulled.

Yanked painfully.

“You can do that,” Eren says, trying to smile.

“How about you?”

Eren looks down to his hands, “I’m not a dreamer like you,” He lied terribly, “It’s hard to, isn’t it? We’re still in the middle of the war, there’s a chance we won't make it.” I won’t make it.

Armin furrowed his eyebrows, “This is not the Eren I know,” his voice rising, “The Eren I know won’t give up until he has vengeance! His goals and hopes and dreams! Until he’s free! The Eren I know is always brave!”

Eren grits his teeth, his dead dreams flash in his eyes. “Fine! I’m a coward! I’m setting my expectations realistic Armin! We can’t always have what we want because we’re tied with obligations-”

“Why does it matter! Why is it ever the reason we stopped dreaming, huh?” Armin rises to his knees, looking down at Eren with fury coated with shadows. The moon looms upon his blond hair, tears falling down his face. “And we’re all scared Eren! I don’t think I ever stopped being scared since a Titan peeked from the walls of our home and literally kicked the gate open... the Titan that I am now.” His voice weakens, hands by his side shaking in balled fists.

Eren wants to touch him. Pull him to sit down, wipes his tears, pull him into his arms, curled into him, because yes, Eren is scared too, more than he’s sane to handle sometimes.

“But being brave means that we keep trying despite being scared... Being brave means that we have something to push through fear. That’s why we can’t stop hoping, having dreams! You can’t stop hoping Eren!” Armin sits back down, hands clenching on Eren’s shoulder. “Don’t give up on them! If you do... then... then what do you fight for?” Armin’s voice is broken and desperate.

“For all of you,” Eren says weakly, “I told you that before. I want all of you to be free.”

“But what about you!” Armin shakes his shoulder, “What about your dreams for you!”

“There’s none! Alright?!” Eren snaps, gripping Armin’s hands, and pushes him away. His breath is fast and shallow. A bundle of nerves wanting to run. Stars break behind his lids

“Eren, please!” Armin clutch his wrist, “You have to have something to live for. Don’t...” Armin’s broken voice makes Eren look, not surprised to see Armin looking heartbreakingly sad. “Don’t throw your life away so easily! I know our years are numbered and no one can tell whether we die in this war or not... but I’d-I’d... if we found peace within our years, I’d... want to spend however little left of my life with you.”

A sob came out first before the tears, Eren can’t hold it back. He’s been clutching everything hard so close to his heart that he just couldn’t hold himself together anymore. He wanted to say it all, lay the sins he hasn’t committed, and be loved despite so. He knows Armin would, and he would help. Eren wouldn’t be alone, but he can’t.

Armin will have his dream come true, having peace in his lifetime.

Armin’s war will be over in a few years.

Eren’s war will never end, not till he dies.

“Please, don’t let me hope,” Eren begged.

“But-”

“I can’t have small dreams, I just couldn’t!” Eren snaps again, throwing up all his anger in his throaty scream, “I can’t! I tried Armin but I kept wanting more. I want more and everything! Nothing is ever enough and this fucking war is...” this fucking fate, her fucking wish, “It’ll take everything from me.”

“No, not yet,” Armin says solemnly with new determination, face still wet from crying. “I have a plan okay? Don’t you trust me?”

Eren is thrown again between pain and anger. His scowl rained down with tears. “You know I do!” I’ll betray you but you’ll pull through, I believe you will. “This has nothing to do with it. We... it just... I can’t...”

“Tell me what it is,” Armin begs, “I’ll help it come true, I’ll help in any way I can. Please.” Those honest eyes look at him, tear down the walls he puts up. Why does Armin always make him hopeful? Even though Eren has nothing left in his future? Why?

Why after years of guarding his desires, one look from Armin unravel him instantly?

His heart finally bare of walls, hands clenched so tightly they shake, Eren screamed his soul out, “I WANT TO BE FREE!”

He screams so loud to the blank indifferent sky that his voice echoes. He hadn’t dared voiced that dream of him anymore, knowing he’ll never have it. It was all he wanted, but there’s a chain of fate in his neck.

Even though he’s chained, doesn’t mean he’s muffled. Not anymore, his heart yearns openly. “I want... I want a life! A long life with someone I love. A cabin in a large space in the forest, where the air feels cool in our lungs. I want kids on my own, I want to grow old with someone! Someone that loves me despite who I am,” despite what I’m about to do. “I just want to be myself.... not a weapon, not a soldier, not a tool.” Not fate’s fool. “I just want to live... build a life, build a home, be with someone that cherishes me for me.”

Eren makes a mistake in looking at Armin, finding the blue eyes mimicking the heavy rain pouring from Eren’s. The worst is the despairing look on Armin’s face, the full mournfulness of the usually boyish hopeful look.

Eren’s mouth still loose, the adrenaline from the truth makes him brave, “I want... I want more than just a kiss.” Armin’s expression doesn’t change, still in that heartbroken despair, it’s like he’s not surprised. “I want to go... spend time with you... more than-than just a friend.” At that, Armin finally looks surprised. Eren’s face burns, but it’s easier to say without the suspense of how well Armin is going to take it. Whether it’s a yes or no, the answer is already chosen by circumstances.

“You-You’d want that?” Armin’s tone in disbelieve.

“Yeah,” he croaks, already sore from screaming.

“I thought...” Finally, Armin looks down, “I thought you were just curious about the kiss, not necessarily me.”

“Well... both of that. The kiss and... you.”

Out of nowhere, Armin barks a laugh, stilling Eren looking at him like he’s crazy. “Geez, I should’ve known. You’re really an all-or-nothing guy.”

“You say it like it’s a bad thing,” Eren pouts.

“No, not bad, but by gods, your actions can be baffling sometimes,” Armin smiles. Oh if only he knew.

It’s eerie how they can fall to banter easily, smoothly, and Eren can’t help to imagine a lifetime of this. He tamps it down instantly.

Eren feels oddly lighter, but he knows tomorrow he won’t. He’ll mull about tonight, and nothing will be done about it, then it’ll add to the list of things he broods about.

“Wait,” Armin says, before Eren gets to ask what, a pair of lips landed on him. It’s more chaste than before because Eren still put up his guard. It’s still too sweet and Eren still got poisoned.

They lean back, flushed and a bit breathless. Armin is flustered, nervous, but Eren is carefully stoic, which means he’s despaired.

“You didn’t have to do that for me,” Eren clips.

“Unlike you, I’m more selfish.”

“You didn’t even like me like that.”

“You don’t know that.”

“And Annie?”

Armin sighs, “I don’t know why... but I just feel if we could’ve had time, me and her could be something.” Eren knows the reason, an indescribable instinct. “But Eren,” His hand grips Eren’s, pinning Eren at place with his gentle touch. “Annie and I didn’t become anything. She’s frozen in a crystal, and you’re here.”

Eren should feel like chopped liver, really, but why is he hopeful instead?

“And I want you.”

Eren watches his best friend, watches closely. Their transparency towards each other goes both ways.

“I know maybe... my feelings aren’t as deep as yours yet, but I still want you.”

Eren finds no lie, and it’s harder to not let his soul soars in joy. Yet.

“Nothing can come out of this.”

“Who says?”

“Armin...”

“See the smaller picture,” Armin put his hands on Eren’s face and his mind stops. “I know you’d always want more, but isn’t having something small is better than not having anything at all? Did you ever regret kissing me the first time?”

“No.” Eren knows he’s utterly defeated yet again by Armin’s wits.

“Would the future you regret kissing me some more?”

Eren weakly smiles, “I-I think future me will thank present me.”

“Well.”

They both lean in this time, knowing what to expect, but still getting surprised by what they get.

Their third kiss is better, both of them anticipate it, both of them wanting. They know better how to slot their bodies together. Their lips were a bit chapped, tasting like the apple pie they had for dessert today. Their hands move more confidently. Eren goes along Armin’s back and jaw, feeling the newly shaved undercut. Armin’s fingers go to his nape, feeling his grown-out hair. Those fingers trail down Eren’s chest and pull his shirt.

Suddenly Eren’s backed against the tree trunk. Momentarily they part their lips, just to look. Eren doesn’t know what Armin is finding that makes him blush and doe-eyed, but what Eren finds is that Armin wants him too. Armin, who could’ve waited for Annie, who could’ve had anyone, wants Eren. No genetic conditioning. No previous titans making him like Eren. This is Armin as he is, wanting Eren as he is.

That’s all he needs. It’s all he wants.

Eren is wanted. Not as a tool. Not as a weapon. Not his power.

Just Eren.

When they kiss again, skin touch skin. Hands pressing on pulses. Their breathing sound loud in the dead of the night. No one is listening but them.

No one stopping them.

In the protective cradle of the forest, they finally get to be curious teens fooling around.

++++

They’re not anything, but not nothing either.

Something noticeably changed between them, but it’s not hard to hide what they are when even they are not sure what they are.

They have nothing but stolen kisses, sneaking out in the night to spend time alone. They don’t really talk, just touches that keep getting bolder. Eren’s feet coming up Armin’s legs under the table as he explains strategies. A hand on Eren’s inner thigh at a group dinner. Sex in the closet. Disappearing at night. Sneaking into each other’s room. Sneaking out in the morning.

Eren admits that feeding his hunger is exhilarating, he’s never felt this alive since he sees the future. Eren would never admit that this happiness scares him.

Eventually, the carpet will be pulled from under his feet, and Eren will have no one to blame but himself.

But Armin was right. Small dreams coming true are still better than dead dreams. Eren is living in his little secret of peacefulness whenever he’s pulled aside where no one can see them.

“Eren,” Armin murmurs, voice hoarse, curling towards Eren for warmth. Eren pulls the blanket over their naked shoulders, shimmying closer. He nuzzles on top of blond hair and smells the sun. Legs bare and long stretching along with Eren’s, Armin rest his temple against Eren’s. Since when did Armin get this tall? Armin plays with Eren’s shoulder-length hair. Since when did his hair get that long?

How did time pass so fast?

“Go back to sleep, it’s still early,” Eren says with familiar affection, a soft spot dangerously tender. He kisses the top of the blond hair by instinct and felt his heart squeeze. He wants to keep Armin here, in his arms, forever.

“I can go back to my room if you want,” Armin offers sleepily, knowing that Eren has been having difficulty sleeping, but not knowing the real reason why.

“Never, stay,” Eren feels a lump in his throat, small mercy grants him for it not to show.

They’re in Eren’s room at the furthest corner of the house that’s far inside the woods. They’re here for Titan experiments, the only other people in the house are Hanji and her assistant.

The window curtains are parted so they can see each other, can’t risk the lamp on to alarm anyone. As always, whenever they’re together, the moon is their only witness.

Eventually, the carpet is pulled from under his feet, Eren has no one to blame but himself. Still, his small dream coming true is still better than nothing at all, Armin was right, nothing surprising there.

He tucked Armin closer to him, caressing his back languidly, not wanting to let go ever. Tears building up his eyes, chest contracting, heart pounding, crying silently.

“I love you, Armin,” Eren says, as clear as saying hello in broad daylight. The body in his arm tensed. Blue eyes still bright even in the dark, open wide in shock, but the softness in his expression means Armin at least expected it.

For a while they say nothing, just stare and touch. Eren’s hands snake up to cup Armin’s jaw that keeps getting more defined. Both of them are nineteen, still growing, and Eren can never see what a handsome man Armin will grow into. Will he keeps his soft features? Or will he has a growth spurt to grow really tall and broad-shouldered? Eren will never have the answer.

But Eren has this.

This Armin that’s his. This Armin wants him. This Armin gave his firsts to Eren and given Eren’s firsts. He’ll take it, he’ll keep it till the day he dies.

Small dreams partially coming true. Is it still better than dead dreams?

“You don’t have to say anything,” Eren adds, knowing he still visits Annie, still has indescribable feelings for her. It doesn’t stop Eren leaning to kiss him by the sunlight roots. This part of Armin will forever be his, Annie can have the rest of Armin’s life.

Armin nuzzles closer, face buried in the crook of his neck. Shaky breaths hit Eren’s skin, arms tightening around his torso.

“I wish we have more time,” Armin’s voice broke, “I wish we’re not.... here.”

Eren hugs him closer, letting his heart falls. He knows Armin doesn’t mean it the same way as Eren would, but he lets himself wishing for it too. Wishing that this was another world, in another time, where they can be something and have more than a decade to live.

“I know. Me too.” Eren doesn’t let himself sob, so he just curled.

They say nothing more. Just holding each other until they fall asleep.

Or, only until Armin does.

Eren counts the seconds to his deep breaths before detaching himself from Armin. He doesn’t look away from Armin, not even when he picked up his clothes from the floor and dresses. Eren let one more tear escape as he put one last kiss on Armin’s temple and lips. Eren tucks him under the blanket and closes the curtains so the morning light won't be too harsh on him.

One last look before he closes the door, let his chest cave in, nurse the hurt that’ll last his short lifetime. Eren takes a deep breath, wipes his tears, and closes the door gently. Too weak for goodbyes.

Eren sneaks out into the stables, sushing the horse with pets and apples he stole from the pantry. Cloak on, hiding his face, he rides out into the pier where Yelena and Floch are waiting for him there.

Eren retraces his plan with Floch, and goes out on the boat with Yelena towards Marley. She hands him the Eldian uniform that fits him suspiciously well. Eren doesn’t hesitate to pierce one of his eyes and cut his leg.

When he’s finally at the Eldian camp, the despair in his eyes is barely acting.

++++

+++

When they meet again, Armin sees him with nothing but betrayal.

No love left there to scavenge.

But, once upon a time, Eren was wanted for the human he is by someone who could’ve chosen anyone.

Those eyes had looked at him fondly. He was precious to someone.

His small dream did come true.

#eremin #eremin fanfics #shingeki no kyojin #snk fanfiction #eremin fanfic #eremin fanfiction #eren yeagar fanfiction #armin arlert #eren jäger #they said bethrlsod name is hard #which yager is eren??#emocel's #attack on titan fanfiction #whenever i think of attack on titan i bleed a little #especially that Miche scene #i don't get horrified a lot but that scene....#haunts me

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1hellofacookie · 3 years

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your precious ship yumikuri is unhealthy, their relationship is based on emotional dependence

-The dependent person is one who, due to the dysfunctional characteristics of her personality, depends on another person to be happy, and uses that person to fill the void she feels in her life. She is unable to back down despite the fact that his situation is conflictive and has no future. Emotional dependence occurs in one of the partners, but the other does not have to be dependent. Dependent individuals manipulate their partner to benefit from their limited autonomy, their null capacity for empowerment and their low self-esteem-.

It's good that ymir died, historia deserves someone better than her. so stop shipping them.

Please my dear. Piss off of my blog and don't come back. I really dont need you here and I especially won't listen to some anon telling me what to do.

Also I feel like you completely missed the point of their relationship? Tori would never let her self be Tori without Ymir. She would've always thought that she's better off dead because noone wanted her to live in the first place. Ymir showed her that she should live for herself, not for the expectations of other people.

Historias commitment to Ymir also was her own decision. Ymir didnt manipulate her into it. She herself said that she knew she was a person to shitty to be loved, still Tori treats her with respect and smiles at her like that. Ymir needed Historia in the same way Tori needed her.

Now I ask you kindly to fuck off, thank you. We can also make this easier by you going off anon so I can block you and you dont have to see this stuff. Vice versa you could also block me. There's also a tag block function on tumblr, I usually tag all my stuff so maybe tagging the Yumihisu tag would help.

#never say something like 'its good that ymir died' in my presence ever again

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aotopmha · 3 years

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i hate rating things bc i find it somewhat shallow ? and most people i see doing that just put up a number and end it like that. i think stories deserve discussions and i love that your blog has brought up so many interesting points while reading aot. my favorite characters ended up being mikasa, gabi, ymir (freckled one) and levi! never been a fan of eren post-timeskip (i really loved 15yo eren lol) but i think his development and his journey has been one of the best things from this series.

Thank you for the kind words!

Yeah, I feel like number ratings kind of say nothing, too.

Especially with longer stuff, too. It was all critical discussion consisted of back in the early 2000s.

I remember I used to rank all of the One Piece arcs all the time when I first discovered online discussion.

But as times have gone on, the video essay format has become more popular and I think with good reason.

Stories just have so much more to them and writing a small paragraph often just encompasses a very small picture of the entire story.

There are often many things to talk about with even the worst stories.

Number ratings are an even more minimal version of that.

At least a good short review still tells you the good and bad parts. A number or rating is much more obtuse and sort of mechanical.

I love this new trend of just talking about stuff.

Just to give my two cents on those characters!

I think Mikasa and freckled Ymir at least make my top 10, but again, I'm not that big on really ranking stuff, either. It's just stuff I love or like or hate or find okay.

I think Mikasa is among the top half of characters, but what's holding back her character for me is that in the end the main thing about her character is her relationship with Eren.

She does have other relationships and character development elements, but a really overwhelming part of her character is about her relationship with Eren.

It's a interesting and complex relationship and I love that the masculine elements of her character remain in place up till the end.

She's sort of like a genderbend of the seasoned warrior archetype who ends up losing their loved one by the end.

If you made Mikasa a guy, this would be a fairly typical end for a story like this and this is the end some people actually wanted for Eren, even. The warrior who lost everything in their strife-driven life and now wanders in solitude, never really being able to move on from their traumas.

But it pulls a twist here, too because Mikasa is not alone. She can grieve and she can move forward.

In fact, I think the story pulled this on a smaller scale for Levi and Petra and his squad.

It's pretty interesting to think about.

Freckled Ymir is super great during the time she's there. I love her. But I'm bummed we basically got nothing on Historia's side by the end. Historia's character became a mess the moment her pregnancy happened, but I think the story could've still addressed the relationship in some way by the end. Even like a hint of her letter still being there in her drawer or something. We basically got nothing after Historia first read the letter and I think that ending pushes her a little bit down on my list. I'm fine with her giving her life for Historia in a naive way (in the end her decision mirrors how all of the Marley warriors try to please the corrupt system to get a positive result when it actually makes things worse), but I wanted just a little bit more closure for her.

I ended up finding Levi okay, myself. I think he's Mikasa except less interesting because his relationships with any of the other vets isn't nearly as complex and nothing all that interesting is done with his backstory/archetype I haven't really seen before. It's executed just fine, but I think there just isn't as much spice to him as many other characters.

Speaking of spice, I think Eren is the definition of spice. Everything he does contributes to making situations and struggles more complicated and to never keep the story in a status quo.

I can see not liking or just being sad or angry about where Eren's character went, but I too find his character journey endlessly fascinating. In the end he ends up being selfish in a selfless way where he would give anything for his friends to live.

He doesn't do this only for himself or to feel better about himself or anything like that. He truly wants everyone he cares about to be safe, but he's also single-minded and only has limited knowledge to go off of; he is willing to destroy literally everyone else just for everyone he loves to be okay and get their long lives.

He is being selfless to the point of being self-destructive, but on a pretty limited scale.

I've seen the read around that in the end he is just being selfish all around and is confused on what he actually wants, but I think his love and concern are honest.

I think him being purely selfish would remove all of the complexity from this situation just as much as him being purely selfless.

I think a lot of people are mindscrewed by the idea that someone would do something so horrible for selfless reasons, which is why all of those simple reads exist and I think this will forever be the best aspect of post-ts Eren to me.

People can do horrible things for very honest and selfless reasons. They don't have to lie to themselves. They don't have to have some kind of complex webbing of delusions.

Eren just wanted to save Paradis from being razed to the ground because that's where he grew up and where his friends live, too.

In fact, I think everyone does this. In an emergency people are not going to be concerned with people they care about less. They will generally go looking and helping those they care about the most: family or friends or even just ourselves. Stuff like the story with Kaya's mom does happen.

I think this aspect of human nature is just blown up to a massive scale for the purposes of this narrative with Eren and other moments in the story (like Reiner running when Marcel dies, too, for example). Eren did a pretty great thing for his friends by giving them their life back. I think anyone would be grateful. This is why we have the second half of the chapter highlighting the bad parts of what he did and sort of bringing things back to Earth.

Thank you for the ask!

#Attack on Titan #Shingeki no Kyojin #Eren #Mikasa #Ymir #Levi #Eren Jaeger #Eren Yeager #Mikasa Ackermann #Levi Ackermann #AoT #SnK #Asks

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peebin · 3 years

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Overall, I'm satisfied with Attack on Titan's ending. It wasn't perfect, but it's not going to take away from the fact that the series as a whole is so darn close to a masterpiece.

Here are some things that I liked:

It did a fabulous job of tying together and finishing up Eren and Armin's arc. The conversation between kid Eren and kid Armin in the paths will probably end up one of my favorite moments in the series. As an Armin stan, I'm happy to see him emerge as the hero. I was also happy to see Eren as human again, it was really tragic to see him face all his guilt and his regrets.

I really love (in a twisted way) that tragic irony of Eren essentially being a slave to freedom. This panel right here:

There's so much here. He's constantly said he is free, but is he? He's done terrible things and he knows it, he chose to become the bad guy and it's something he's shown clear remorse for. Yet he said he wanted to do it, but he's not sure why. I wonder if similarly to how past founding titans have been a slave to the will of the first king, has Eren become a slave to his own will? All he wants to do is live and die with Mikasa and Armin, yet he's cursed by his own child-like determination to acheive freedom, so much so that he never does.

It was neat they confirmed the theory that Eren spared Bertholdt from the smiling titan.

Jean and Connie are alive.. thank goodness

We got about as close to a happy ending as Isayama could have given us, it was nice to see everyone in the aftermath. I'm happy we got Armin and Annie together after the timeskip.

The parallels between the final panel and the first panel was a really nice touch.

I really appreciated how Mikasa became a major player in the end. It felt like she was pushed to the sideline for a while. These panels were beautiful and heartbreaking:

I actually really loved Mikasa's development at the end after I thought about it for a while. It led up like it was going to be some emotional moment where she kills Eren Jaeger and lets go of him when he has been somewhat of a curse for her. And in a sense it was. On the other hand, her killing Eren can be seen as an act of love and an act of loyalty. I never saw her loyalty to Eren as a flaw- of course you would want to protect the person who saved your life and the person you love to the best of your ability. The notion that her only trait is her loyalty to Eren is overblown anyway (let's not forget her relationships with Armin, Historia, Sasha, etc., and the fact that she was so quick to take charge and move on after she thought Eren died in season 1). Mikasa letting go of Eren would have been a betrayal to herself, but killing him was something she had to do. Her grieving in the final panels makes perfect sense.

As much as I loved it, there's a few things I didn't like:

What happened to the worm? It just, disappeared.

In fact, there's a lot of ambiguity as to what actually happened. Why did the titans turn back in the first place? Was that Eren's doing? Did the founder have the power to do that all along?

I thought Historia's baby was going to have a lot more significance within the plot. In fact, Historia's ending is the only characters ending I genuinely didn't like. It felt like she was going to be a lot more important than she was, but instead she's just chillin as the queen with her random ass husband that she hates. She deserved better. So did Ymir. God dammit.

The panels about the Eldian military didn't exactly sit right with me. Sure, titans are gone. But with the rest of the world crippled by the Rumbling, aren't we just in the same place we were before the Great Titan War with Eldia as the world's major power and everyone else just kind of at their mercy? After all the very clear anti-imperialist messages throughout the entire series, it makes me nervous how this can be interpreted.

It's a miracle this story even existed. Isayama is a phenomenal writer and Attack on Titan will always hold a special place in my heart. Eren Jaeger has got to be one of the most beautifully complex, morally gray characters ever written. It's almost impossible to write a perfect ending and there was bound to be some disappointment, but I'm satisfied with the way it ended. I'm so excited to see the rest of the story get animated. Thank you Isayama.

#attack on titan #aot #thank you isayama #hajime isayama #shingeki no kyoujin manga #snk manga

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takanova12 · 3 years

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One of the hallmarks of the aot fandom is massive panic everytime leaks drop and mostly the release of full chapter ends up pleasing if not all majority of the readers. Yet, we still don't learn and negatively react everytime even with the understanding that we are missing context for the leaked panels/dialogues. So amid all of this, here I am just trying to share my positive and hopeful interpretation of leaks, which mostly concern mikasa.

I wholeheartedly love eremika. They will forever remain my comfort ship. The leaks haven't changed anything. If anything, they just reinforced the idea that mikasa loved eren till her last breath. I admit that I loved the ambiguity of last panel of chapter 139; does mikasa live by herself till she dies? Or does she find love again and end up being surrounded by people who cherish her and will be there for her until the end?

I am happy that she found happiness in life. I saw people criticizing her choice of finding love again and how they were wrong about her making a selfless decision and living with pride etc. I personally don't see how her having a family cancels out what she did? She did give up the most precious person to her in the entire damn world to save the damn world. To people who wanted her to be a stronK woman who needs no man to live a empowering life, well she was that in the entire series. It was eren who needed her to save his ass 24/7, it was her and not a man who contributed most significantly to saving the alliance and we all know it was her who freed ymir. Not only that but one of the most popular EM moments where she gave eren emotional support (chap 50) ended up leaving such an impact on him that it helped me activate the coordinate and was also shown to be one of his most cherished memories of her. So, at the end if she wants to live a peaceful and simpler life, let her have that. Most importantly, let her have that considering she never wanted this life of a soldier. So, I am glad isayama gave her that. After all the shit she's been through she deserved some happiness, she deserved to be around her very own family. She deserved to be loved and cherished just like she loved and cherished eren. I am happy for my girl. I am happy that she had such a lasting impact on the story and on eren. I am happy that she wasn't alone her entire life. Sure, she has armin but let's admit it armin is with annie. They were not welcome on the island and even if mikasa left with them or they somehow settled back on paradise, aruannie would have their very own family. Sure, mikasa could be the stronK independent who needs no mAn and be an aunt to other kids so she won't be alone (reminds me of what eh wanted for mikasa; her to be aunt of her beloved dead eren's baby that he had with historia). Okay now being honest, I would have no problem with mikasa being single for her entire life and be some govermental figure of sorts if she was ever presented in that way. Never has ever mikasa shown any interest in politics, being some military leader or some princess to hizuru. She didn't join SC because it was her dream. She did because of eren and now that eren is gone and she served her purpose, she has no reason to become involved in nasty politics that she never wanted to be associated with. Also, she always left the strategic thinking, planning etc to armin. She has always pondered upon how many times does she have to lose her family and restart again. It always came down to home/family/love and a sense of belongingness for her. Sure eren was her home but before that her home was her parents and then carla and grisha. I am not saying that with eren gone, she has to find happiness in another man, but out of these other miserable options for her like living alone in the island, I prefer her being with loved ones. She doesn't have her dad like annie or parents like pieck with her to give her that home and sense of belongingness so I find it even more hard to swallow that some people actually wanted her to be not loved and die not having a home even after everything she has been through. Moreover, it's better for her mental health that she stays as far away from dealing with the mess eren left behind. Didn't she already do enough? She killed him and that was the most painful thing she ever had to do. So, I don't understand why people still want her to be some single stronK woman in power who dedicates her entire life to cleaning eren's mess? Hell no! No more misery for my girl! And thankfully yams agrees.

She has already had her fair share of trauma so isayama did the right thing leaving the diplomacy part to armin and others. Also, people making baseless claims that she is unhappy in her married life? Where and how? Mikasa surely wasn't ever gonna marry someone if she wasn't ready to. Did she visit the grave alone? Nope, she had her man with her, which suggests she is happy and can trust him with her feelings for eren and that he very much respects those feelings. She is not sneaking out of the house to visit her beloved's grave but she is living with pride. She is not doing anything wrong in remembering eren because irl we never forget our most beloved person even if we find love again.

On the topic of jeankasa, Idc whether it had 2 panels together or a 1000, it doesn't matter to me either way because aot was eremika's story ( as in I mean the story only told us about their journey of platonic to romantic feelings). Post titan world jk happened, so I find the jk don't have development and armuika makes more sense argument very out of place. First of all jk do have some development, where they end up trusting each other. Mikasa initially didn't like jean always fighting and criticizing eren and just didn't care about him. Later just like she forged close platnoic bonds with rest of 104th, she did so with jean too and most of it happened off screen because it was not needed for the story. I mean we found out sasha and mikasa were bunkmates not through the story but the guidebook. And this is in line with the fact that mikasa is not a very vocal person to begun with, she mostly speaks through her actions and that is why we hardly ever see her screaming how she is gonna help rid the world of titans or how she saved gabi because she is a child just like them caught up in war. About armuika it is a 100% platonic bond. With jeankasa, only mikasa considered jean as just a friend while jean since day 1 has been romantically attracted to mikasa so much so that he jumped right at a titan for the first time in his life when he saw mikasa in danger, before that his legs would shiver at the thought of fighting titans. So, it makes sense if it was him who ended up marrying her because he was in love with her the entire time and respected her feelings. The execution could have been better but I don't have any qualms with it because it doesn't make me ship eremika any less and overall knowing that mikasa was with someone who had always secretly loved and admired her for a long time just she did with eren makes me believe they both have a solid mutual understanding and good relationship.

Lastly, the takes on her still wearing the scarf is disrespectful to her husband is another thing I don't agree with. The scarf is not a romantic gift given to her by lover. The scarf is what saved her as a little girl. The scarf is what made mikasa understand the dichomoty of life at such a young age. The scarf is what allowed mikasa to realize that the world is not just cruel. It is what saved her and helped her save the world. It is a life-changing and beautiful treasure for her that sheltered her from turning into a cold-hearted revenge seeking psychopath. So, I find it satisfying to know that she is capable of embracing that part of her life and being anle to move ahead in life with her head held high.

On a side note I wanted to wait until the official release but I saw some mikasa slander and just couldn't wait any longer. I do think I am immune to mikasa slander now because I got everything I wanted for her character ( of course I would have loved for her to be with eren but I knew after liberio raid that they were never going to have a happy ending) but still sometimes I like to share my thoughts because I think it helps some people who are at times enjoying the content but the fandom discourse and constant negative interpretation of said events makes them hesistant to admit/enjoy it.

I am content knowing that my comfort character found some comfort in her life at the end :')

#mikasa #mikasa ackerman #attack on titan #aot spoilers

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