Thirty years ago this month, "A Letter to Elise" was released as a single. I don't remember now when I heard it on the radio for the first time - sometime in late 92, I think. But I remember how it felt to listen to it. I'd never experienced anything like it before, never felt like a song just reached into my head and rewired my brain. I bought Wish as a result (I was already familiar with "Friday I'm in Love," which I enjoyed but didn't hugely care about), and that's where it all began.
By the time I graduated high school, not quite five years later, I had so many Cure posters on my walls that I ran out of room and affixed them to my ceiling. I had all their albums. I haunted indie record shops and radio station events looking for imports and rarities. I had t-shirts and tablature books and unauthorized biographies. I went to libraries and used the cumbersome 90s magazine indices to look up old articles and interviews.
And I've never looked back. I don't have the fannish energy I had when I was younger - I don't feel compelled to surround myself in swag, I don't give a shit about their personal lives or political opinions, and I find much of their post-Wish output frankly meh. But in thirty years, they've never not been my favorite band. I can't think of anything else that's worked its way into my marrow and become part of me the way The Cure has.
marceline only reading simon's letter where he apologizes to her and only listening to her mom's recording where she apologizes to her a thousand years later after she had lived her entire life believing that they abandoned her is kind of representative of how when youre a kid your parents will hurt you and you're gonna grow up with that hurt and itll change you and shape who you are and for a while its gonna feel overwhelming but sometimes, later in life when you're older and you've healed, you're able to look back at that time and realize that they might've not meant to hurt you. they were people too and they mightve been hurting themselves and while that does not change the effect it had on you it does help you understand and forgive them