#a little smudged with soot and drips of candle wax from the mantle
Text
god fucking damnit
#thought my other rambling post had got it out but apparently not#why do i miss her so much my chest hurts?#it’s been over ten years since i hugged her for the last time#did i get closure? kinda#did it that closure make me entirely reevaluate what our friendship had actually meant to me?#you bet it did!#i was so fucking blind and such a horrible friend#we both did such incredibly shitty things#but there’s not a shred of doubt in my mind that we really did love eachother#we were just young and idiots and had so much to learn#sometimes i wish i’d met her later on#once we’d done that growing already#but i would have been a different person if i’d never met her then#and i don’t know if we would have connected as they people we would have been later on#hell if i met her again now i have no clue if we’d even have anything in common#except shared history. shared pain. love maybe.#not the same kind as before obviously#just the love you have for a person that you’ll never stop caring about#a person who crosses your mind and you send a little thought their way hoping their week is going well#a person who holds a dusty little corner in your heart#a warm one though#like a corner by the hearth#a little smudged with soot and drips of candle wax from the mantle#UGH#yes i’m being wildly fucking melodramatic#blame the fucking hormones#i’ll be normal again in 3-5 business days#personal
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