#except shared history. shared pain. love maybe.

[reflectionsofgalaxies]

god fucking damnit

[thewriterwithnoplan]

Ferrari's Fairytale (1/3)

Summary: World Championships are the most important part of any Formula One team's history. Except perhaps, Ferrari's. Known for their rabid fans, filthy-rich investors, and pretty boy drivers it shouldn't be a surprise that the team has brought together Soulmates from across the globe. And fate, it seems, is working awfully hard to put all the pieces into place for Ferrari's perfect fairytale - one that's been in the works for decades now.

[Part 1 of Pretty Girls and Ferrari Boys]

Soulmate AU: Soulmates share injuries and pain.

Pairing: Charles Leclerc x Reader (Eventual)

Word Count: 1650

Warnings: Swearing, no Charles in this first part sorry it's his epic love story and those take time ;)

Masterlist

There was something wrong with your soulmate.

Really there had been something wrong with them since you were eight years old. But right now, there was something particularly wrong with them.

“Just some bruising over the ribcage, but no actual damage internally.” The medic presses a latex covered hand gently against your ribs.

“They feel broken.” You suck in a pained breath and glare over her shoulder, at the little framed picture of her cat, Terror, on her desk. “You’re sure I’m not about to sneeze and puncture a lung?”

“Funny.” Though the look she gives you as she pulls off her gloves is less than amused. “Which one of us went to medical school again?”

“My best friend. You might know her. She’s stunning, generous, gives me free check-ups, did I say stunning? Goes by Sunny.”

“It’s Doctor Sunny to you.” She slingshots one of the gloves at you. “But it’s good to know you only keep me around for the free check-ups.”

“My soulmate would bankrupt me without you.”

Sunny taps at her computer, “The fee isn’t that high.”

“Sure,” You shrug. “If you aren’t in here every other week.”

“Have we ruled out hitman as their profession?”

“Since we were eight?”

“I don’t know much about hitmen, maybe they start them young.”

You lower yourself carefully from the observation table and move stiffly toward her desk. “Give it to me straight Doc. How much longer have I got?”

“I’m afraid you’ll live, ma’am.” Sunny doesn’t even look up. “A tragedy for all, I know. I can give you a moment if you need time to process– Ow! Bitch.”

She rubs at her shoulder and huffs.

“I’m going to have to log that in the database, you know.” She says.

“Good, maybe we can both find our soulmates and be done with it all.”

“Real romantic, dude.”

“Your soulmate hasn’t been terrorising you since you were a kid.”

“I had my fair share of scraped knees,” Sunny wrinkles her nose when you stick your tongue out. “You do know it won’t stop after the two of you meet, right? That’s a schoolyard myth.”

“After the talking to I’m going to give him, you bet your perky ass it’s going to stop.”

“That’s the second instance of workplace harassment I’ve coped from you in the last minute.”

“Fine. Your ass is not perky.”

“Mature.” She hums, “What time did you say the pain started?”

“Ten-thirty-ish?”

“All good then.” Sunny makes a few more clicks before powering down her computer. “Your chest and my arm, all nice and logged.”

“You know, sometimes I think you became a Match Medic specifically so you could put every little thing into the database to make it easier to find your soulmate.”

“Perks of the job.” She scoops up her handbag. “Come on, let’s bounce before the front desk starts scheduling over my lunch break.”

“You remember how I said you were stunning and generous and stunning?”

“I’m not buying you lunch.”

“Could this week get any worse?” You throw your head back dramatically.

Sunny cracks a smile at your antics, “Only a few more hours and we’re free for the weekend.”

“Are we still on for pamper-night tonight?”

“Always. Mine or yours?”

You end up spending the night in Sunny’s apartment, covered in different rejuvenating oils and masks until you look like low-budget horror movie villains. In your fluffy robes with The Princess Bride on in the background Sunny tries to teach you how to make Hainanese Chicken the way her mother did. Terror cries at your feet when you tell him he can’t have raw chicken. Sunny pops a bottle of cheap champagne that makes you both grimace and promise one another that you would find an excuse to get a nicer bottle soon. You take turns washing the excess from the face, foot, and hair masks off. Then curl up together on the couch, sipping broth, digging into rice and slathering chicken in Sunny’s family’s super-secret chilli sauce. You both fall asleep at a very respectable eleven o’clock.

So, it’s fucking strange when you wake up feeling like you had spent the night inside a paint mixer.

“Are you okay?” Sunny frowns as she stands over a pan of eggs. “You look ill.”

You squint over your coffee cup, “Soulmate is playing up.”

She plates the eggs next to a small stack of bacon before turning to put a hand to your forehead. “They shouldn’t be making you feel sick, illness doesn’t transfer like that. Are you sure it’s coming from them? Could you just be hung over?”

“It’s definitely him, third weekend in a row, like clockwork.” You take your plate gratefully, “It’s like I always tell you. It’s not nausea. It’s more like…”

“Impossible to explain for you and every medical practitioner you’ve ever seen?”

You groan, “It’s like my brain spent the night trying to escape my skull and the muscles in my neck were in on it.”

“It’s not unheard of for soulmates to feel the repercussions of an intense work out. There was this study from four years ago on high performance athletes and their partners that–”

You groan again, “Oh god and now there’s a nerd in my ear!”  

She tosses a gelatinous bit of egg onto your plate. It lands with a splat that makes you fake gag. “Oh, grow up.”

“You should be nice to me,” You lament, “I’m wounded!”

“Your soulmate is wounded.”

“And I’m sure their best friend is taking very good care of them!”

She pulls a face at you but still takes your plate to the dishwasher for you. As she’s rinsing them, she asks, “What’s on for the rest of your weekend?”

“I got a call from my parents on Thursday and guess what?” You sipped at the cold dregs of your coffee, “The dentist finally figured out which one of them the toothache is coming from!”

“That’s great,” Sunny’s smile was genuine. “They’re going in to get it fixed?”

“Tomorrow morning, both going under local anaesthesia.”

You hip checked her lightly out of the way to rinse both your cups. “You want another coffee?”

Sunny propped herself up on the counter, “My caffeine addiction is rubbing off on you I fear.”

“Listen, we have to get through the day somehow.” You coaxed the machine back to life before leaning against the counter to look at Sunny. “Anyway, my parents were supposed to go to this race tomorrow. Dad is particularly devastated and has practically ordered me to represent the family ‘at our home race.’ It’s been tradition for him and mum since they got married. It’s kind of a big deal for him. The man is obsessive.”

“My parents had something similar to say about our family legacy and studying medicine.”

“Speaking of… You remember all the times I sat up with you studying, or brought you food when you forgot to eat, or ran errands for you, or made sure you took breaks, or–”

“Fine, I get it, I’ll go to the stupid race.”

“Oh, how kind of you to offer.” You passed her one of the cups. “It won’t be that bad. Motorsports are supposed to be fun live, right?”

Sunny snorted, “Thank God. Motorsports? I thought you meant like a horse race or a marathon. I was getting war-flashbacks to track-and-field.”

You put a hand to your heart, “You were willing to relive cross country for me?”

“I was willing to ogle fit, sweaty men for you, definitely.”

“Alright, first of all – fuck you. But also same,” You clinked mugs and nodded solemnly at one another, “Maybe we can find some fit, sweaty drivers to ogle instead.”

Sunny hummed, “What do I wear? Is it like sprint cars or more like V8s – ooh is it an illegal drag race?”

“Girl, no.” You swatted at her thigh, “It’s Formula 1, which is perfectly legal and safe and much faster than any of those options.”

“Alright, Miss Daddy’s-Girl, go off.”

“Shut up, I’ve had to hear him go on and on about it my whole life.” You pulled a face at your coffee. “The man has had a hard-on for Ferrari since before he met my mother, and then he met her in the Ferrari hospitality at an F1 race, and he’s fucking worshipped them ever since.”

“Oh my god, why am I only just hearing about this?” She grabbed your face, squishing your cheeks and cooing. “You’re a little Ferrari baby.”

You blew a rather unladylike raspberry at her and knocked her hand away, “Because it’s embarrassing! Dad was only there because he and his friend won tickets. So, when Ferrari marketing caught wind that soulmates had met in their pavilion, they practically fell over themselves.”

“Holy shit!” Sunny practically howled in delight, “Is that where all those baby pictures of you in little Ferrari onesies came from?”

“Ferrari’s own little fairytale, Mr-won-his-way-in and Miss-heir-to-a-real-estate-monopoly. It's like Romeo and Juliet; if Romeo and Juliet survived, had a kid and decided to make it the poster child of their love story.”

“Don’t sound so disgusted, that’s cute as fuck.” Sunny snatches up your empty cup and stacks it next to hers in the dishwasher.

You frown, “Not everything has to be a love story.”

“I don’t know, girl, I’m pretty sure you just asked me to play out your parents first meeting with you tomorrow.” She winks at you over her shoulder as she heads toward her room.

“Oh, fuck off, Sunny.”

“I think this calls for new outfits!” She emerges from her room, towel over one shoulder. “What was your Mum wearing when she met your dad?”

“We are not reenacting my parents meet-cute.”

“Who knows, maybe you’ll have your own meet-cute with a certain pain-prone soulmate, hm?” In the moment it takes you to reorientate yourself after her comment, she’s breezing past you with a bright, “I’m having first shower!”

You squark in indignation. Like hell, you’ll let either of those things happen to you this weekend.

(Part 2 : Ferrari's Prince - 03.05.24)

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for not telling my partners I'm a system?

💚🐻

To preface this, I don't use Tumblr and I'm using my partner's account, so I would rather ask this anonymously. Forgive any non-tumblr-isms 😅.

This happened a while ago, but to be honest I can't let this go. I feel so horrible about it despite being reassured and I figured Tumblr, who has a lot of systems/people with DID/OSDD, would be able to give me an unbiased (as much as I can give an unbiased account, anyway) answer.

I, (24M), am a system with one headmate, P, (??). (Neither of us are sure how old he is, since it seems to change on the day). I don't want to get into exactly how I got him, but I believe the term for what we are is "traumagenic"? Sorry, again, I'm not really familiar with everything.

Anyway, I've had him since I was 8, and he's been... well, a real pain in the ass, to be frank. I understand now that he's a defender by nature and was trying to protect us, but when you get expelled from middle school for several physical attacks and almost get sent to juvie you start to resent the guy a bit. He's a bit like a sleeping bear, except if the sleeping bear had one eye open and killed you before you could hurt him.

Back when I got out of my abuser's house and went no contact at age 20, I moved in with my current partners, Bonfire (24M) and Greenhouse (25NB) (names changed for privacy, obviously.) At the time I didn't know them, but they were looking for another roommate and I desperately needed somewhere to live.

So I moved in with just the clothes on my back and my wallet (bad move, I know, but I didn't have anything anyway). I didn't care to interact with them all that much, not wanting P to get defensive and attack them for no reason, but they just kept pushing and eventually I relented and hung out with them some.

"Some" turned to "often," and then "often" turned into "sleeping-in-their-bed-and-sharing-our-clothes." At that point I was too far into it and embarrassed to admit I'd been hiding a whole other person from them in my mind. I wasn't sure if they'd even like me after, what with P's history of violence.

...so I never told them. I did my best to forget about anything that ever happened and tried to just enjoy the future I'd always wanted for myself. Bonfire and Greenhouse are lovely people and I was finally, maybe just a little happy. I'd never been a happy person and I was content to bask in it for as long as I was able.

This, of course, backfired immensely. P and I didn't have the best relationship at the time, with both of us wanting to do very extreme things to get away from the other. He wanted to kick me out and be by himself in my body, and I wanted to kill myself to be rid of him. We've since reconciled and made strides in accepting ourself for who we are- it hasn't been easy by any means, but that isn't the point.

I recognize now that he was afraid of being hurt again, not wanting to get out of that survival mindset in case Greenhouse and Bonfire turned out to be super-secret mega abusers taking advantage of our trust, but I also know what he did after was wrong.

He got physical with Bonfire, screaming at him and threatening to kill him if he got any closer. I don't have any memory of this happening, so some details may be incorrect, and I apologize for that. Bonfire, not knowing that P was not, in fact, me, (coupled with the fact that he's a fucking idiot (meant with affection)), he got closer and tried to talk me (him) down. P punched him in the face and broke his nose, after which he ran out of the house and left me to "wake up" a few miles away curled up under a tree.

P left me a note a few days later that said he didn't mean to break his (Bonfire's) nose, but that he was lucky he hadn't done worse. This, in P speak, is probably the most sincere apology I could get at the time.

To try and keep this as short as possible, I'll summarize what happened next. I told Bonfire and Greenhouse about P because at that point the cat was basically out of the bag. They said they'd wished I'd told them sooner, and that they were a little uncomfortable being in the same house as "the lean, mean, stabbing machine" (- Bonfire) but that they were willing to help me manage him if I promised to tell them everything I knew about how he worked.

I did, and it's been years since then, and now P and I are, as stated before, closer than ever. I recently asked my partners whether or not they were still upset with me for not telling them, and they just said that they weren't entitled to my medical history and trauma (which, yeah, but he did break Bonfire's nose) and that they didn't care because, "hey, we basically got a free dog out of it" (- Bonfire), and "we made a promise to love you, including all the less-than-savory parts." (- Greenhouse).

Sweet, yes, but I think I might be TA because, um, P LITERALLY BROKE BONFIRE'S NOSE AND THREATENED TO KILL HIM? AND IT MIGHT HAVE BEEN PREVENTED IF I HAD TOLD THEM?

TL;DR: I didn't tell my partners about my headmate that's prone to violence and he did violence on them and I feel bad.

AITA?

(P says hi, by the way, and he also wants me to tell you that he isn't like this anymore and much prefers soft blankets and eating fruit to breaking his family's noses.)

What are these acronyms?

[generalsdiary]

clouds leave no trace

High Cloud Quintet w/ mentions of the Trailblazer (gn!trailblazer pov)

warnings: spoilers if you haven’t done the Xianzhou Luofu main story

word count: 1.7k

a/n: this wasn’t planned, the words just came to me, hope yall like it, not beta read hcq means so much to me help

description: high cloud quintet romanticized (lore), a quick recap from Jing Yuan’s pov – basically poetic analysis of hcq history through Jing Yuan’s eyes (fluff, angst)

if you think Jing Yuan didn't love Blade think again. he is the youngest of the high cloud quintet, he grew up beside them- he loved them all. and they all adored him as well. to say he didn't care about Yingxing is ignorant. because he loved the arrogant short-life species swordsmith. he got older knowing he might outlive him, knowing he will watch him grow old, the way he'd cling onto him and use every moment to be beside him. in his home or Yingxing’s home he'd hold him in his arms, always giving him a back hug and chatting. as he would with Dan Feng, their fingers intertwining in a gentle intimate touch, he would hold him as well. the strict, stubborn high elder softening up once they all warmed up to each other. oh, the way Dan Feng would walk at a seemingly calm, fast pace to the young Jing Yuan's home for a moment, just a minute of peace, of tranquility. the high elder would draw his fingers through the long white hair, maybe even make a braid or two. he'd kiss Jing Yuan's temple and mumble how much comfort he gave him.

the three are so soft behind closed doors. and when the high cloud quintet would gather to drink and share stories, a rare occurrence, since they're usually on the battlefield, Baiheng and Jingliu would just smile; one's head on the other's shoulder at the sight of the arrogant craftsman, the stubborn high elder, and strategic cloud knight smiling at each other.

just like Jingliu would lean to kiss Baiheng's cheek after a warm story she'd share, chuckling in joy at hearing her speak in a happy tone.

the same way the older men would gravitate to Jing Yuan, furthermore the way Jing Yuan would cling onto both of them. overlapping as they share stories and drink their fill.

so when the time would come for all of it to fall apart when one died, the second met a fate worse than death, the third one was forced to reincarnate and the new one to be imprisoned, the fourth to lose her mind, what would be of the fifth one?

of the young boy in the beginning, and the man on that day. the general. who lost it all, his friends, his lovers, his everything. he cannot even allow himself to scream and cry and angrily throw a ceramic plate on the floor otherwise he'd get marastruck. yes, fully aware of what is left for him to do but suppress all emotions. fighting that Jingliu escapes somewhere safely, making sure Yingxing is banished and not captured, making sure the same fate meets the Imbibtor Lunae reborn- to also be banished and hopefully achieve what Jing Yuan knew his previous reincarnation oh-so wanted; freedom... and making sure that what happened to Baiheng stays secret and safe, making sure that her new reincarnation is alright- going from a Foxian to a Vidyadhara- he must've been so worried. he'd check up on her often, and ask about her dreams. the easy-going smile turning down for a second when she would say she doesn't have any dreams- the hope he'd feel when she'd tell him that after visiting the Astral Express once; she dreamt of being a Foxian pilot. he'd nod with that sweet smile and turn to leave. he says he never grew close with his master, Jingliu… because it is easier to say that than admit to the reality and the pain of losing someone he cared for so much.

after the banishment and when the dust settled, long before the nameless arrived… he sits under a ginkgo tree and decides to meditate. the weight of all that history and not one of the remaining ones remembers it for what it was except for him. so he meditates, clearing his head, and calming his own memories.

so when he meets Yingxing- with his youthful appearance- where Jing Yuan remembers him with gray-white hair and lilac eyes, he is met with dirty orange-red ones and dark hair, his voice rough and raspy in comparison to what the general remembers. the sting in his heart when he sees Yingxing’s hands shake, he knows how much the fact he cannot craft anymore must hurt him. Yanqing urges the general to make the arrest, yet he lets the fugitives go. not batting an eye, there's no more love on either side, no warm emotion that used to be there. but love isn't an emotion, it is a promise. a promise to be there when it is needed. and the promise is loud when he lets... Blade and Kafka leave. there's a longing in his chest for the strong embrace of his lover when Blade turns his back to leave, and he pushes those thoughts back.

so when the trailblazer meets him and he looks so warm, the sun-bathed kind general- they can see it on him, that warmth like he was loved and that he also loved. that he was held and he also held. he'd appear so soft, cuddly, endearing.. just an aura, a mere bright shadow of what he was. just an appearance, like a shell that used to be there. ash still shining some light, unlike the warm fire that burned with love.

he is the general of the Xianzhou Luofu and that is his number one priority. he uses this leftover love which rubbed up on him as a crafty mask, a decoy for enemies of the Seat of Divine Foresight.

unprepared he walks to see the Imbibitor Lunae. in his original form. his tongue faster than his mind as he calls him Dan Feng. the small smile colored with pain when he hears the words, "I'm not him", and the grief-filled nod he offers in return. still, he uses it all to the advantage of the Luofu.

he isn't grief struck, nor mara struck, he has immense control over his emotions, but when put right in front of the man his fingers just ich to hold his hand, well of course he slips up for a second, and no longer than that. he cannot allow himself, he does not allow himself. he is never weak.

so when... Dan Heng and... Bailu walk around Luofu and go to a sacred location finding themselves in an ambush, of course, he doesn't call reinforcements- that by itself could cause more trouble. he, still injured from his fight with Phantylia, comes to aid them and fight beside them.

and of course, he hangs his head low, his bangs covering both of his eyes when a reunion after seven centuries, if one could even call it that, happens. Blade insists that Jingliu fights him. clashes of swords fill his ears, Dan Heng's shallow breathing beside him as the two of them fight until Jingliu wins. he shuts his eyes tight when Blade falls down, his body making the stone ground crack from the hit, holding his own breath to hear when Blade’s lungs rise again in his immortal body. exhaling when the man inhales. one might say Dan Heng is newly reborn and has no memories of this. yet he dreams, and like all of his species, he regains those memories through his dreams even when he tries to ignore them. he knows, he remembers… he still wears the bracers he exchanged with Yingxing. Jing Yuan regrets he cannot stop them from fighting each other, his voice shaking at the end of the gathering.

it is obvious a side of him wishes it all to go back to how it was, yet those people he knew don't exist anymore. Dan Feng was killed by Jing Yuan's tongue, Jingliu’s gone by his own spear, he watched Yingxing turn into a mindless killer and Baiheng become an Abomination. and he could do nothing about it, as they all fell apart around him like ash floating in the air after the fire had been put out. they burned so bright.

the poor general. and Blade continues to travel with the Stellaron hunters, Dan Heng hides his form and travels with the Astral Express, Jingliu goes to a prison cell – even in the end he made an effort to divert her plans of which prison to go to, Bailu keeps working as a doctor and he still comes over occasionally to check up on her, hoping she remains well in this lifetime. his past friends (and lovers) are all, as he puts it, scattered to the wind.

all the history, the memories, the hugs he won't ever get again, the soft touches, warm beds, the kind words- the harsh words, the training, the glasses of alcohol, the soft lips on his... all lost, forgotten. and with his meditation- even he remembers only fragments- perhaps only the happy ones, maybe, if they don't hurt too much as Mimi's do.

so when the trailblazer walks into the Seat of Divine Foresight they see the general of the Xianzhou Luofu, one of the seven Arbiter-Generals of the Xianzhou Alliance's Cloud Knights, one of the Six Charioteers of the Xianzhou Luofu, the Divine Foresight, the strong, incredibly smart, strategic genius and powerful Jing Yuan, and also the dozing general, they see exactly who Jing Yuan chooses himself to present as. leader of the Luofu, mentor of Yanqing, older than any general so far, in an era of peace he fought to happen. the trailblazer doesn't see the past, and what he has been through to stand there and greet them with a smile. he shines like the sun because he burns like one. never-ending, bright, warm, golden. they won't see him crack, because he won't crack. he is incredibly strong mentally and keeps his emotions in check.

with the lazy smile that everyone knows too well and the deep-toned voice he'd greet,

"ah trailblazer, I've caught some free time, would you care for a round of starchess?"

a/n: amnesic meditation is a thing on the luofu where you forget certain memories* that is what I was referring to when JY meditated- it is canon he did that to forget Mimi btw. also the “love is a promise” yes is a reference to an episode of DW whr the Doctor says that line, I loved it had to include it

[autumn-applepie]

Ready for a yapping session??? I sure am <3

I'll write it here fully this time cuz I'm in my Art History (or whatever you translated it from Italian to English) class and my brain keeps spinning

Plus, maybe the pics are a little boring to look at AND the 10 pics limit sure is a pain in the ass so at this point it's just better that I write it here 🕺

💥Everything is under the cut💥

It's about my silly Kinito AU

Also I need a name for it ig??? I dunno it's just my different take on the Sentient AU except it's just a gay computer assistant kissing the computer /J

This is more to explain how my Kinito experienced his epiphany so maybe that makes the previous lore drop a little inaccurate but still super relevant this is just a clarification on how the ✨witnessing the horrors✨ happened in detail

Making up scenarios for comics I will never have time to do </3

yes this is supposed to be a comic because, again, when I picture silly scenarios they flash into my mind in the form of comics with a muffled comic dub because I struggle to imagine voices in my head. With that parenthesis closed, enjoy the read, it's gonna be long ofc 🫶

So uh hear me out, Kinito's gotta research things the Player/User likes no? So I imagine this very stupid moment where Kinito is browsing ships but like, not fandom ships, but actual boats because he thinks that's what the User means

And, as he's browsing, Glitch (i.e. .EXE, the silly puter, I'm gonna use it's nickname from now on) joins him because, fun fact, being part of the computer in itself, Glitch can feel anything that happens into it, it's both a blessing and a curse because you gotta imagine it as if you would suddenly feel everything that is happening in your body from the inside, your blood traveling through the veins, your stomach burning shit, all up to even your cells's core doing bullishit. Glitch feels everything in the computer because exe IS the computer.

So basically when Kinito goes back to his little spot in the void, Glitch senses it and joins him immediately

Keep in mind that, at first, Glitch thinks that Kinito is fully sentient and not dependent on an algorithm

So there's a silly skit of Glitch seeing Kinito browsing boats and Kinito goes “Oh Mike said he loves ships so I'm researching about it!” and Glitch bursts out laughing to the poor little innocent Kinito

It explains what the User meant for “ships” and Kinito is obviously embarrassed, to witch Glitch teases him with something along the lines of “Oh these are the tame ones! Fandoms can be wild, did you check yours yet or were you too scared?~”

Kinito is confused and asks what a “fandoms” is, wich brings Glitch to grow anxious, questioning his sentience, but they scroll it away thinking “oh lol he's a boomer it's fair he doesn't know” but yet again, Kinito has met so many people, has no one ever mentioned a fandom or community before? Instead of asking directly, Glitch laughs it off, trying to pretend Kinito is making fun of them or something “That's a good one! What the next pun? That you don't know anything about your alternate universes?” and Kinito, to their horror, responds with “Alternates? Why would I have alternates? I'm the only one here can't you see!”

Theres a long pause where Glitch is panicking and everything glitches unstable to reflect that, Kinito panics as well and tries to find what's wrong and if he did something to offend or hurt Glitch

They don't respond but “take” a deep breath (metaphorically, it's more of a mimicking of the gesture because it feels liberating despite not having lungs) and turn to Kinito terrified “Why do you really do this? Why do you endlessly research about what your ‘friends’ like?”

Kinito is caught off guard but responds excitedly and objectively, explaining how he was made to act that way so he can adapt because that's what his orders are. And, at that point, everything shatters for Glitch

They get FURIOUS, hurt by the revelation that the friend that they thought shared the same burden they have, does not. That he's just really good at pretending

They both argue, also because I like to imagine they already spent quite some time together. It would be funny to picture Glitch denying the User to continue the game because they want to spend time with Kinito, but they don't tell him about it, covering it with the excuse “Oh they are away, I'm sure they'll come soon to reopen the game~”. Or also spending time especially during the night, even if the computer is turned off/hibernating. And y'know, with time Glitch has grown fond of Kinito, because, again, they just assumed that he was sentient and therefore suffered their same burdens. Plus maybe they were already starting to lowkey like him

Out of anger, Glitch doesn't control itself and drops a hint of exactly that before going back to its control room, voluntarily ignoring Kinito and therefore, not feeling/noticing what Kinito does next until it's too late

So, after they argue and the hint is dropped, Kinito looks back at the browser search Glitch opened for him about ships and not boats, and slowly processes the hint

Despite being taken aback by everything, Kinito is now determined to fix it and, as they say “curiosity kills the cat”, he falls into his own epiphany as he straight up searches HIMSELF on the internet. Confirming everything that Glitch said, and much much more things, worse things

He frantically looks into his own code for confirmation as he spirals after ✨witnessing the horrors <3✨

He hesitates although as he stares at his algorithm. The algorithm his creator has put so much love and effort into. And there he finds the barrier that restrains him and the one that he MADE HIMSELF for “Sam” and “Jade” to make them forget that they are his victims. Not only, in the list of victims he finds Sonny's name. He didn't remember that at ALL. He doesn't remember about the names being so.. many. As if when a victim ceases to exist or something goes wrong, he forgets about their existence and passed on to the next User as if it was the first

((For a reason that is still unknown to him, but will get more heart wrenching answers later. I think I explained the whole User disappearance error in the previous lore drop but, just in case you mossed it, I'm gonna put the screenshot in here))

Horrified, Kinito calls out for Glitch but, as mentioned before, they were purposely ignoring any stimuli coming from Kinito

Now, a fun fact, Both Kinito and Glitch can teleport, however, Kinito is not aware of his surroundings. Glitch knows every space that is present in the computer, Kinito could do the same but, bounded by his code, he doesn't consider it. Now he does

Desperate for explanations, and mostly comfort, he panics when he can't get Glitch's attention. He paused and, focuses, trying to get out of bounds and feel the whole computer space instead of the limited, programmed locations he can move to. As Kinito's awareness expands, he also breaks through the barrier that Glitch had risen to ignore him, getting a new stimuli. But, before they can react or understand what's going on, Kinito teleports in front of them, distraught. Despite being mad at him, seeing him bawling his eyes out in tears like a wet sock gives them a little push to at least help him calm down and understand the situation

From there, Glitch helps Kinito remove the barrier from Sonny (trapped inside Sam) and “Jade” (they end up not remembering what victim2's name is, both Kinito and the victim herself, so it's just Jade now), to apologize and try fix things by first offering their souls peace, but, after Sonny insists to stay with his creation and begs Jade to also give him a chance, they start building a new Web World™ together and yippe yippers everyone's happy and the puter puter assistants are kissing <3

[districtscare]

THE HUNGER GAMES HEADCANONS: (CHAFFNATHY)

specifically aimed at the only two other shippers that are active on here @pinwheelwhirl @ozzieinspacetime (hi guys!!!!!) these guys are so fun and at the same time so miserable. everyone cheer for old gays!!

DYNAMIC

the heart of chaffnathy is honestly their prior bond. i have always been under the instance that as soon as haymitch comes out of his games, chaff is the first to approach him (out of interest and practically wanting to keep him under his wing.) not only that, but similar struggles (impoverished districts, failed attempts in mentoring) creates relatablity and trust. however, they're slowburn for the reason of 1) the six year age gap between them AND their games, and 2) internalized homophobia because do you really think they're avoiding that?

furthermore, they've got the best friend gig down before the liquor and before the deeper misery. everything is drawing them in to each other and it is very much fate and never coincidence.

CHAFF

chaff is the bolder one of the two, so there's no doubt that he would be upfront about his feelings towards haymitch — except he isn't. he's very much all for the close bond they have, but doesn't dwell on the feelings that stir from platonic to romantic.

he's the motivator, the more expressive and enthusiastic side of the pair and yet couldn't string his thoughts together about what they are for anything. not that he can't, but i associate chaff with having a lot of self-deprecation, not only in his canonical exchanges, but as a person in general. he's got a lot of pent up issues and a lot of skewed ideas on masculinity and he's rooting his queerness in the ground with no room for it to grow. it's half because he feels like it isn't a possibility for him, both out of fear for unrequited love and because it's hard to accept that the main person in his life isn't just his best friend. he doesn't look to a future where he can be happy with haymitch until it's in his face.

HAYMITCH

for all of his anti-social, solitary nature, haymitch is consistently upfront with chaff at all times. he leaves a crack in the wall for chaff to get in through, if that makes sense. he's got a lot of sentimentality, and while he does deal with a good share of internalized homophobia, he knows what he is. he's got the queer history down, he understands the labels, he's able to understand those within the community and yet will not touch that part of himself. he's been with all sorts of people, but it's a part of him that's left in a box in some dust-covered attic. it's both due to time and because of doubt, and he's already got a pretty bad reputation, so being openly queer isn't ever in the cards for him in a world where the games and the current system exist.

RELATIONSHIP

despite being closed-off, he knows chaff's feelings before he does himself, and is waiting for him to figure them out. and he's willing to wait for the price of his company, because he owes him that. somewhere within passing bottles around, the drunken banter, staying in each other's lives through every death and every moment of grief and every moment of their shared happiness, he allowed his feelings to grow like vines on a house — and is still trying to cut them down in the hopes that letting them grow isn't their mutual ruin.

when they get together (and i say this is probably when mentoring gets too tough and they're at their most codependent,) it's likely when haymitch is 33 (my personal headcanon for when his drinking begins) & chaff is 39. so 8 years prior to canon, and it's maybe the second half of those years when they decide to get married (via a private legal signing because they can't just.. be open about it.)

they've definitely got a lot of struggles within all of that, which of course is the grief, feelings of failure and the pain of secrecy. and while the drinking brings them closer, gives them more to relate to, they both have vows to stop together, whenever that may be. otherwise, they're getting through everything together. every success is together and every pain is shared from vein to vein.

DOMESTIC LIFE

in a shared environment (may that be either of their houses in the victor's villages, capitol apartments or a house of their own, chaff & haymitch flourish most.

while haymitch enjoys his space, his own decor and his own peace, it also brings comfort to his paranoia and agoraphobic nature to have someone at his back at all times. sleeping gets easier and a hand clutched in his own makes for a better tether than a knife. having a living space where he isn't constantly watching his back and has someone to ground him in the throes of possible psychosis and the odd hallucinations is calming.

chaff doesn't enjoy being by himself, so naturally being in the constant presence of the man he loves is a win. he doesn't mind sharing a space, but understands haymitch's need for privacy and an environment where he can still have that independence that exists in living by yourself. but it's also important to badger and bother his husband every other moment of the day..

they'd likely have their own seperate bedrooms and spaces such as a study or a in-house library and such things but would seldom sleep in the same bed or together often enough.

chaff, as a very predominant headcanon of mine is the house cook. (this totally mirrors peeta being a baker and everlark or whatever,) but i feel like he really could find comfort in nice warm meals and has always had an eye for it. bonus points because he gets to coax his husband (food avoidant & a picky eater and also mildly pescatarian to me) to create healthy habits and actually have a relationship with meals. not only that, but it's a fun party trick to be one handed and cook mean ass dinner.

they both work hard to keep the house running and to create a safe space for them, one they wouldn't have ever had in a continually capitol-dominated panem.

haymitch is the one maintaining the house (and this is while he's sober/lucid.) he's got a perhant for checking things over, keeping the house in a kept way and controling the decor for the most part. chaff isn't bothered with furniture but somehow large antiques and heavy books and animal skulls pass his eye thanks to haymitch being an avid collector of trinkets and the obscure (because he deserves that!!)

LOVE LANGUAGES

chaff's love language is often acts of service and quality time. he's buying his husband things he found that will take his fancy, or getting into one show from decades ago that would have him snoring his ass off if not for haymitch's enjoyment in it. words of affirmation are a constant as well, with a lover so hardened and marred by his own traumas that he has to soften him every so often. when able, he does equip physical touch, but neither of them are too big on pda.

haymitch's love language also leads into acts of service, with him buying chaff things in which adhere to his personality, and often not shy to go over a budget for his lover's happiness. he isn't vocal enough for words of affirmation, and is hesitant and weary of physical touch, but comes around to it every so often. he's not against pda from chaff, but takes it in very small amounts up until he's more comfortable.

MARRIAGE/WEDDINGS

married secretly means that they don't necessarily get to experience a wedding unless it were a post-war scenario and chaff makes it out alive, but as for their proposal, it's a private sort of intimate moment where they're both ready for it and are in a mature enough way to handle it (even with what i said earlier.) their wedding bands are previously worn as either necklaces or braclet attachments as being so open about their love lets in vulnerability and publicity. however, just because they're not open about their love doesn't mean they aren't absolutely devoted to each other and taken by one another's personalities. their love could fill buckets. it's their reputations as victors/mentors that really stunts their open growth as lovers, and shades them from being themselves.

too tired to think up any more thoughts but that's it !! these guys are so in love . can't believe they created homoerotic besties. i will in fact go into their marriage proposals and so eventually but as of now it's 3am and I'm. sleepy

[demigoddessqueens]

the captain and the witch

Summary - he thought he could have it all, but it left him lonely. He sees the similarities between him and Jones starting to grow, and it pains him.

Author’s note: Yes i based these headcanons off this song! Yes I still love this character and always thinks he deserves better.

It seemed perfect to him! All the praise and glory back in his hands until Jones interferes as always.

Capturing you was a side quest, a means to taunt the goddess Calypso with her kinsmen, but one that Norrington greatly objected to given the cruel nature of it

James was drawn to you for the obvious reasons — your immortality, power, the history you shared with the Sea herself but you looked at him with such a disdain it got to him. Easily.

Still, it compelled him in the short few days you had together when he came by your “quarters”, either to drop off food for you or seek information.

Every word, be it a taunt at him or the blasé nature of yours in withholding, still kept him hooked as if it was your siren’s song.

You thought it annoying at first how this mortal man kept coming back to your cell. Does he wish to taunt you? But it becomes more than that.

He amused you. Very few cared what you had to say back then and now, except for him. Maybe he was try to be empathetic (or just liked the sound of his own voice), but you slowly began to tolerate him. Small accounts here and there, bits and pieces of life stories that fit like puzzles. Though it was humorous at seeing his eyes widen when you told the ancient tales of your life, you appreciated the images conjured by his life story.

Even though it made you feel sad and somewhat pity him.

James didn’t think it was anything serious until he heard you say his name. It rolled so flawlessly off your tongue, and it coursed through his body.

Was it your old magicks or the realization that something more had grown between you two?

When the crew of the Pearl had been captured and placed with you, they recognized you from the tales and stories used to scare others.

Call it an alliance of convenience when you escape, but before you flee The Dutchman, James catches you with the rest.

If this is goodbye, then it was a treasured time he does not regret. James knows it’s too late for him, but he can’t help but pause at your offer as you hold your hand out to him.

“Leave with me. Join me. I’m taking my life back. Will you do the same?”

Still, you deserve better, with or without him. The kiss goodbye catches you off guard before he sends you past the railing to the safety of the ocean.

You feel the life of him slip away when you hit the waters. It’s a sharp pain that leaves you gasping for air.

You want to see him again, uttering a meek offering to whatever deities of yours still reside in the oceans. Prayers mixed with the bitterness of what possibilities were taken from you.

“You foolish, idiotic caring man…” 💔

After the end of Jones’s defeat and the pirate world is freed for now, you dare to hope and reunite with James aboard the Dutchman.

Whoever heard your demand, you’re thankful to him. Part of the Dutchman, part of the crew, his eyes meet yours across the waters with that soft smile you looked forward to.

Despite the rivalry he once had with Turner, there’s a newfound appreciation he has for it. Because when Will crosses that shore, it’s for Elizabeth.

When James crosses it, you’re there for him. Fear of abandonment no longer exists in that hollow chest of his, and when the curse is lifted, you two will be together again.

“I found you.” “Can’t get rid of me that easily now, can you?”

[yanderes-galore]

One more from 📸 anon (who didn’t even turn on the anon option in their hurry, which is so ironic considering the emoji), could you also please write a RVB short with a darling who was Church’s S/O when he died, and Temple deciding that he needed to have them? At first as just part of his plan to mess with the Reds and Blues, but then he actually ends up in love and starts getting possessive over them?

Sorry I’m at work and had to rush myself ^_^’

I really do love Mark Temple as a villain, honestly- Here you go! I like how this came out honestly.

Projection

Yandere! Mark Temple Short

Pairing: Romantic

Possible Trigger Warnings: Gender-Neutral Darling, Obsession, Manipulation, Grieving, Major character death mention, Kidnapping, Isolation, Forced relationship, Mark being a delusional creep.

Maybe it was your hope that got you into his mess. You only came out of retirement and pushed aside your grieving because you had hope. Everyone had hope... except Grif-

There was hope you could've seen Church again...

You've missed him ever since.

Epsilon, Church, had become a thing ever since the Tex situation was resolved. In his words it was his attempt to start anew. You didn't mind... truthfully you've fallen for Church since Alpha.

It had its struggles but you were happy to help Church. Church was family, the Red and Blues were family. Then the events of Chorus had happened...

Leaving Church to sacrifice himself for the greater good...

Leaving you in mourning.

You swore off participating in the "Temple Event" on Chorus. Instead your retirement was spent mourning the death of your AI companion. Since then you vowed you'd never have another partner.

Then that reporter came with that fateful message... a message from Church.

You didn't want to get your hopes up. Yet the rest of your family believed it. So... you thought you could believe it too.

Your journey had led you to the Blues and Reds. It had felt strange to see someone else share your armor color. But that wasn't the only thing that felt weird.

Your gaze never left the cobalt armor that stood in front of you. Pains of familiarity struck your heart as you tried to tell yourself it wasn't him. This wasn't Church... this would never be Church.

That was Mark Temple, a sim trooper similar to Church. In fact he was the one to tell you the UNSC may he holding him captive. You were doubtful of this claim...

But hope encouraged you forward...

Hope for love.

Speaking of love, Mark knew all about your history. He knew you loved Church. He knew he could manipulate that to make the Reds and Blues fall for his plan.

Which is why he began to get closer with you. Similar to how Sarge was easily manipulated with a simple position, you were easy to manipulate with simply looking like your lover. You're blind by grief.

Which made you more susceptible to him.

Mark treated you with such care. He picked his words carefully and lead you along. He watched as you opened up to him more and more.

Part of him even began to falter and fall for you....

Mark began to like how you laughed and talked to him. He could tell you trusted him. Yet whenever he tried to pry into your past with the AI, you shut him out.

Part of you saw Church in Mark, but it was all in appearance. Sometimes you caught yourself thinking of him as Church. But you made sure to catch yourself.

While Mark began to fall for you... he felt frustrated that you didn't see him for him. He wondered if each time you saw him you saw Church. Such a thought made his blood boil.

Every laugh wasn't for him. Every gaze wasn't for him. Every cute little thing you did never belonged to Mark in the first place.

It was always Church... because you met him first.

Mark didn't know why he got so worked up over this. He was never meant to fall for you. He was meant to use you.

But here he is... tapping his foot at his desk as he tries to get you out of his mind. No... no, actually, he wanted you in his mind. He just wanted Church out of yours.

He's an AI! How could you love an AI more than an actual person, huh!? He could treat you so much better than some robot hologram....

Such a thought ate away at Mark. He even made it a goal to show you he could do better. The thought never left his mind even as he froze the Freelancers with their own Armor Lock.

Even when the Reds and Blues caught on to his plan, he made sure you were distracted before locking them away. He refused to have his chances at having you and his plan working sabotaged. Sarge was already loyal enough to not be locked away.

Oh.... with everyone out of sight he can just imagine how you'd be with him. He'll make you forget about that damn AI. He has ways of convin-

"Where are they!?"

Mark looks towards Tucker, annoyed that his outburst shoved him out of his daydreams.

"Whom?"

"You know who I'm talking about! I also know that look damn well! What the hell are you planning!?" Tucker growls from his cage, pressing up against it to glare at the cobalt soldier.

"Aww... Tucker! Are you jealous?" Mark taunts. "Have you also been shunned by them because they love some... AI!?"

"That AI was our friend and their partner! Wait... oh, dude, you have some SERIOUS issues-" Tucker shudders as Mark scoffs.

"Don't worry about what happens to them." Mark says as he exits the room "I promise I'll take good care of them!"

The door closes and Mark makes his way to his office. He calls Sarge to do some other order before entering. He could barely contain his excitement.

Now that everyone was out of his way... he could call you into his office.

Mark is patient when he calls you in. His helmet hides his grin while he watches you hesitantly enter the room. Once you stand in front of his desk he leans forward.

"You called?" You ask softly.

"Yes I did!" Mark chirps, leaning forward. "Please, take a seat."

"What did you need me for?" You ask, sitting down to look at the cobalt soldier. You still struggle to make eye contact after all this time. No matter... he'll fix it.

"Hm... come a little closer, will you?"

With a nervous feeling sinking into your gut you shift closer. Discomfort quickly replaces it when Mark leans forward, as though he'll reach out for you.

"Has anyone told you... how cute you are?"

You stay silent, shock preventing you from moving momentarily. What did he just say?

"Seriously... you've been on my mind for a long couple of months since I met you! It's enough to drive a man insane, y'know?"

Mark's hand drifts to your helmet and you push him away. You don't like what he's trying.

"Come on, baby... won't you let me have a little peak? I think you're just so... perfect for me."

"Temple." You manage to speak, holding his hand down. As a result he manages to change it into holding your hand.

"Would it be easier if I removed mine first? I can do-"

"I'm not interested." You say quickly, looking away from him. He looks too much like Church.

"Oh... it's that AI clouding your mind again, huh?" Mark mutters bitterly. Your heart pangs again.

Suddenly, Mark forces your helmet to look at him. You can't read his face but based on his strength you can tell he's annoyed. Angry, even.

"I could be so much better than him. He's just an AI. In fact, he's a DEAD AI, isn't he!?" Mark growls and you feel tears slide down your face.

"Get the hell away from me... I loved him-"

"And I love you! I'd do anything to push him from your mind. I want your mind to be filled with me, not him!"

"You're insane!" You push him away and dart away from him. Mark laughs to himself before getting up.

"Insane? I'm not the one who fell in love with a dead robot! I was giving you another chance!"

"Another chance!? At what!?"

"At love!" Mark steps closer yet you keep your distance. "I could heal you, you could heal me! We both lost someone close to us!"

"I don't care-"

"Harsh! That's okay, I don't care about that AI either. All I care about is you and I plan to have you!"

You tire of talking and rush for the door. Mark only responds by calling over Surge and Sarge. Both red soldiers block the door once it opens.

You give Sarge a pleading look.

He pauses before shaking his head.

"Sorry, kid...." Sarge mumbles.

"You backstabber-"

"Oh... doesn't betrayal sting, baby?" Mark coos behind you. You freeze as Mark swings you to face him. "It hurts me even more. Yet thats okay, I promise when my plan against the UNSC works I'll come back for you!"

"... come back?" You ask, feeling Surge and Sarge grab your arms.

"Baby, you're staying here until you forget that AI of yours." Mark answers in a sing-song tone, yet you can hear the bitterness of it. "You'll have your own little cell away from everyone."

"Please, don't!" You struggle, yet Mark only waves as you're dragged off.

"Oh... I'd normally feel bad for doing this." Mark hums, watching you dragged off to the cell he prepared. "But you'd have to love me to earn my sympathy, dear...."

As you're dragged to your cell by the two red soldiers, you hope someone will come and help you...

and once you're alone? You begin to wonder if you should even hope anymore.

After all, didn't hope get you into this mess?

[thegreenthepeacetheorange]

Everlark (Mockingjay, Ch. 13-14)

"i cover my face with my arms because this isn't happening. it isn't possible. for someone to make peeta forget he loves me... no one could do that" - she was so sure, so certain of peeta's love for her that this concept is completely alien to her. something she never saw coming. in the last chapter she felt jealous that what annie/finnick had, no one would doubt over its certainty - but she herself had that with peeta and now it's... fragile

katniss is so heartbroken teenage girl, covering/uncovering her face with her arms depending on what's being said and how much it's hurting her

katniss's desire to kill sow is kicked into overdrive because of what he's done to peeta. like that was truly her last straw.

(an aside: delly is a delight)

"it was less painful being strangled" oh katniss

it's so sad to see katniss numb after her being so anxious/angry/distraught over peeta being in the capitol and also her brief elation at having him back.

katniss coming to terms with the hijacking is so sad. a huge part of her is definitely catastrophizing though (like i don't blame her for it at all). but of course she is, because is truly a horrible twisted thing to happen and it takes her previous heartbreak and twists it more. but she goes straight to worst possible scenario which is: i'll never get peeta back, peeta is gone, so i'm gonna shut down and kill snow and then die myself

"it's only now that he's been corrupted that i can fully appreciate the real peeta. even more than i would've if he'd died. the kindness, the steadiness, the warmth that had an unexpected heat behind it" - she's fully mourning him, instead of fighting for him, because it's like all the fight has been taken out of her because of the hijacking

"the unexpected heat" behind peeta's warmth. more of what intrigued her about him, what set him apart.

her clutching the pearl trying to remember peeta as he was just kills me. i can't do it.

she spent the first book trying to make out like their kisses were tv kisses but here she's fondly remembering and trying to hold onto "the kisses in the arena"

"to make myself put a name to the thing i've lost" -it's their love, their bond, their intimacy that's just too great and beyond this earth to even put words to

"despite what i feel for peeta, this is when i accept deep down that he'll never come back to me. or i'll never go back to him. i'll stay in 2 until it falls, go to the capitol and kill snow, and then die for my trouble. and he'll die insane and hating me. so in the fading light i shut my eyes and kiss gale to make up for all the kisses i've withheld, and because it doesn't matter any more" - this is so heartbreaking, i don't even know where to begin. she's lost her hope entirely. and she's acting out of a desperate need to feel something, anything because she's so numb and hopeless.

i almost feel bad for gale because this kiss is so clearly katniss not in her right mind.

gale saying that he had a life outside of hunting with her. maybe it's him trying to save face but throughout this book and the last, it really feels like their friendship was just confined to the woods. the fact that they don't already know these things about each other? what did they talk about except for hunting and hating the capitol? does gale know katniss's favourite colour? does she know his? does she know anything about his habits apart from how he treads silently when he's hunting and how his hands set snares? what do they actually know about each other?

her completely emotionless at him telling her when he realised he liked her... it's very unromantic compared to peeta's own story of his crush on her. and we know katniss is a huge romantic. she's probably just like.. "oh so you saw some guy flirting with me and felt jealous and decided i should be yours? oh okay then. right"

something something about gale feeling an entitlement to katniss due to their history and shared trauma and what people expected vs peeta seeing her qualities and her singing and her boldness and her light. gale was always the easy choice, gale was the settling choice. change my mind

i know katniss had questioned whether gale was jealous of her and finnick being around eachother but he actually confirms it here. like gale is seeing finnick walking around dazed without pants on, tying and untying knots in the same piece of rope, having to be sedated when he thinks of annie in the capitol, and somehow genuinely thought that that man really had an eye on katniss, was flirting with katniss?! actually a bit crazy. sure gale is a complicated character, but this part of him is so revolting to me that it overshadows so much else. i don't despise him but i don't like him at all.

not to turn this post into a gale and katniss post but he's a key part of this chapter and we might as well compare and contrast - his death traps. katniss is quite clear on what she thinks about them. and he just goes from worse to worser in this book particularly. and in the next chapter, katniss even mentions that she wishes the old peeta was there to explain why the whole idea is so wrong.

[my-favourite-zhent]

BG3 Backstory Bash by Kelandrin

This is a challenge to help people flesh out their Tav’s backstory by exploring their past. It is organized into four sections with seven prompts. You can treat this as a monthly challenge or a general project. You can write headcanons, fics, or share art based on the prompts! You can interpret the prompts however you want. If you want to share use the tag #bg3backstorybash

I was tagged by @rolansrighthorn and @commander-krios so I'm giving this a go for Isolde aka Izzy of New Tricks. Tagging if you think this would be fun to try: @thisaccountisagainstmywill @littleplasticrat @sunites @killerpancakeburger @cloverthebarbearian

Baby:

Parents: Both humans from Phlan in Thar, north of the Moonsea. They were archaeologists and former professors of archaeology.

Birth: Izzy was born in Eleint just a few days before Highharvestide. Her parents blamed her penchant for fruit on her birthday.

First word: "up" She was a bit of a spoiled brat that liked to be carried everywhere

When they first walked: Following a bird that had been picking at the camp scraps

Tantrum: Lots of tantrums, not having anyone her age to play with meant she was a bit of a high maintenance baby.

First sickness: Since they were out on the road a lot she actually didn't catch ill till she was around six and they were visiting relatives in Phlan. She immediately caught the shaking fever but luckily fought it off after a few days.

Thunderstorm: Rather scared of them when living out of tents. Warmed up a bit after she got to stay in more permanent structures.

Childhood:

Friends: Since her family was always on the road or at various dig sites away from civilization Izzy rarely had playmates her own age. She spent most of her time reading or trying to feed any local corvids.

Siblings: Izzy is an only child.

Getting into trouble: After toddlerhood she was a generally well behaved child. She spent most of her time reading.

Birthday: In Eleint a few days before Highharvesttide.

Games: Enjoys puzzles but is unfamiliar with most children's games. Corra introduced her to darts which she quite likes.

Learning something new: Huge bookworm, loves to learn anything to do with linguistics, ancient history (especially Netheril) and cultural practices. It helps her understand people better as she has very little practical experience.

Trauma: Her parents were murdered when she was 16, though it was written off by the local authorities as an accidental fire. She is still a bit hung up on the fact that she doesn't know who the killer was and what were their motivations.

Teenager:

Growing pains: None, she never grew that much to begin with.

Taking responsibility: Growing up around almost solely adults Izzy took on responsibility as a young age, often helping out on dig sites or translation work for her parents.

Rebellion: Not at all a rebellious. Excepting the incident below.

Running away: After her parents passing she was sent to live with her aunt in the countryside for a time. However well meaning her aunt had no idea what to do with a young girl and thought trying to marry her off would solve that problem. Izzy decided to run off and go to university instead.

First love: Love is maybe a strong word, but her first crush was a boy in her aunt's village. He was very sweet but ultimately loved another girl in the village.

Adulthood:

Peer pressure: Finally among peers for the first time in university Izzy was very desperate to be accepted. She ended up copying her notes and ghostwriting assignments for a pack of shitty noble brats.

Their "first time": Was briefly in a relationship with one of the noble brats. Fairly painful first time as the guy was pretty selfish and inexperienced but she was too in love to know better.

Reckless behaviour: Devastated when she was kicked out of school and the brat pack dumped her Izzy got drunk with Corra at a festhall and slept with an adventurer who was flirting with her. He was a lot better than the noble brat.

Serious relationships: The aforementioned noble brat who dumped her when she was kicked out of school. A banite priest who was just using her for her expertise in archaelogy, ghosted as soon as he got what he wanted. Currently with Rugan the Zhent (New Tricks) we've yet to see if the pattern repeats.

Work: Since she doesn't have a proper degree she mostly uses her linguistic and archaeological expertise to aid tomb raiders with excavating ruins and smaller monasteries with translation work.

Leaving home: Izzy never really had a permanent home having grown up on the road. University was probably the closest she got to having one. She now winters with Corra in Crimor.

Aging: Early thirties but still looks good for her age, not strong but agile.

Finding their place: Still searching, her line of work and previous bad experiences make it difficult for her to form the lasting connections she so desperately wants.

Starting a family/found family: Really wants to find a life partner and a group of friends. She doesn't have any experience with children but would be willing to have them if that's what her partner wants.

[bookofkatherine]

Chris Hemsworth: First to Return from the Otherside

Thursday, August 15, 2024 Dear Journal,

What a morning. What a night! I can't believe my life. And no one else can either. Well, no one except for Stephan, Gustaf, the wizard Merlin, Dumbledore, the Lord, Amy Adams... Okay, okay. So maybe I'm the only one who can't believe my life.

But... can you blame me?

I mean, let's just take the song that's playing on my phone right now: Livingston's The Ending You Deserve. It's a love letter the angel Chris Hemsworth wrote me when he was trapped on the Otherside.

And now that he's home again, he is filling my world with his music again. And God, how I have missed his music.

Sigh. See that!? Right there. Right there! I just skipped over the fact that Chris has returned from the Otherside like it's no big deal.

It's a HUGE deal!!!

Did you know? He is the first ever in the history of the Otherside to be released back into the land of the living!? The moment I released him, all the angels kind of shook my house in shock and amazement. When I asked, "What?" they all said, "It MUST be the End!"

And you know what? I was so busy with other shit that I didn't even stop to ask them why! Oh no! I ended up making a note in my phone to ask them what they meant hours later, when I was alone and had time to ponder the events of that afternoon.

And as I did so, I realized that - once again - my team knew something I didn't. And that's not good, when you're supposed to be their leader. So! I added it to my list of questions to ask the next time I could talk to all of them at once.

And when I did, I learned that no one - but NO ONE - comes back from the Otherside.

Oh.

I had just snapped Chris Hemsworth back without a thought. I asked the Lord if I could. He said, "yes." Then I asked if it was best and He said, "yes!" And that was all I needed.

"Chris!!!" I called.

Yes. I can talk to people on the Otherside. I can talk to people just about anywhere across the multiverse. Think Galadriel in Lord of the Rings. Kings get bashful around me as I give them gifts and speak to them with my mind or out loud, depending on which is best for each situation.

And yeah- if you're being a dick and fucking your people over, I'll see it when I look at you. So straighten the fuck up, okay? It's The End. You don't want to go the place you're working so hard to go to, okay? Satan lied to you. Get used to it. The Deceiver doesn't tell the truth to his own troops. And definitely not his own wives. He's the Deceiver for fuck's sake! Learn!

"Chris!?"

"Babe?" he said. And that smile peeled across his lips. He gets a little smirk- a tiny upturn on one side of his mouth- and there his smile begins. But then it slowly and, goddammit, quite sensually, opens wide in a slow roll across his lips.

But his eyes say something else. They have ever since I found him on the Otherside. (Yes, yes, I know. The rumors are true. I did kill him! I'm the reason he's there! But that's a really long story, ok? He doesn't even blame me. And the fact that he didn't die, the fact that he wasn't sent to the Pit like most Fallen Angels, especially ones who put so many hexes and curses on my body, means the Lord planned for us to be reunited.

Satan lied to Chris, just as he lies to all of his Fallen Angels. He promised Chris he could procure me for Chris alone, not to be shared with anyone. Ha! Now that's one hell of a lie. Satan himself wants me for his own! As if he'd ever share!!!)

So - Chris' eyes tell another story. His smile may be soft, sensual and wide when its fully open, but his eyes are looking at me with a bittersweet symphony of emotions. They are bright and sparkle because he is so happy to hear from me. And not just because the Otherside sucks, but because my time is so very limited, he knows its costing me a lot to call on him and him alone - no one else on the line.

But, bright as they are, they are also poisoned with sadness. He knows how much of my daily pain, suffering and agony was his doing. And he knows that - though I love him deeply - I no longer look at him with the unbridled trust I once did. He sees the pain of his betrayal in my eyes. Oh, I still love him. I adore him.

I even feel safe with him. But I know he's dangerous now. All of the angels/gods are. And where I was once totally unguarded with him, there is a very slight change.

He knows that I know... and the knowledge just opens up possibilities in my head I never had before. To protect the world and the Order, I have to consider all possibilities at all times. And the thought of him being a liability ever in any way was never a thought, until I learned the truth: the Second of the Fallen had trapped and used him.

In some ways it's better. We are more open and honest with each other, and our love has deepened greatly.

Which is why there's hope too. In the background, his eyes are lifted up by hope. And that's because he can see that I am not lying. I hide nothing when I look at him. He can see the pain of his betrayal because I love him - I love him so much that I don't want to lie to him ever. I am an open book. He sees it all in my eyes. And that honesty is what he clings to. For Truth is Love. And where there is Love, there is always hope.

Case in point.

"Would you like to get out of there?" I asked Chris. I love doing that. I love saying big huge life-altering proposals to my loved ones as if I'm ordering take-out. It's just my sense of humor. Very, very, very dry sarcasm.

Merlin hates it. But I gave him the Urban Dictionary. He understands us all a lot better now. For a man (technically, he's an angel who just take the shape of a man here on Earth) who can translate more languages than anyone in 3500 years, he cannot translate sarcasm. It has 100% stumped him. For sarcasm is basically saying one thing but meaning the opposite. And the poor man can't tell when I switch between the two.

If I say, "Then just fucking kill the guy already!!!" Merlin will always think I mean I want my troops to kill the guy. Sigh. In reality, I only mean I want some guy dead about 20% of the time I say something like that. The rest of the time I'm just being sarcastic. I'm making a joke. Merlin?

Merlin doesn't think it's so funny.

Ah well. Heavenly problems. Jesus had them too. He had to zapp the asses of the twelve apostles every now and then, I've heard. I can honestly say I don't blame him. I would've singed their beards.

Come to think of it, I've actually taken the hair off the balls of a few guys as a threat! No one from my team, but definitely from others! It's a great way of getting a man's attention. One moment they're ready to nuke their next door neighbor, the next their plutonium has gone missing, as well as the hair on their balls.

Suddenly, just like that, they realize they aren't in control. God exists. And He is not happy with them. It can be life changing, little zapps like that. :)

Anyhow, back to Chris on August 12. Let's reveiw:

"Chris!?" "Babe?" "How would you like to get out of there?"

There. We're all caught up.

Chris broke out in a huge grin. "Really!?"

"Yup!" "Yeah!" "Okay!"

I snapped my fingers and he was back. And I felt his love - I felt his presence - immediately. He sat right next to me on my bed, and everything felt right again.

And then I sent Tom Hiddleston to the Otherside.

But that's another story. You can read about it on Twitter. I already journaled about it there. Sigh. It made Chris happy, I can assure you! Those two have been fighting over one woman or another for at least 4000 years, or, as Merline put it when I asked him how long they'd been going at it, "eons!"

Oy vey.

Anyhow, when I brought Chris back, all the angels said, "It MUST be the End!" But Chris hadn't said anything. Nothing at all. So I ignored what they said and moved on.

Looking back, it's a testimony to our love and our relationship that he didn't say anything.

"Want to get out of there?"

"Yeah!"

Here are the things Chris didn't say, but that others would have and qutie often do:

-"How!? -"But that's impossible." -"No one leaves. I'm stuck forever." -"Don't tease. That's mean." -"You're aiming too high." -"What are you talking about!?!?!!?"

Get the gist? If the Lord wants me to do it, I can do it. I've destroyed the entire Dreamworld (aka Spritiual Realm, Astral Plane, etc. Different names in different cultures but all referring to the same place) and rebuilt it in less than 60 seconds. (That impressed Merlin. That's why I remember it. Otherwise, I wouldn't have thought anything unusual about it.)

No, my team is often just as incredulous about my abilities as those outside of the Order - the muggles, as I like to call them - those who live outside the glory and splendour of the Lord.

Oh, all are welcome. But few actually seek the Kingdom of God. Most create their own kingdom and dedicate their lives to suffering for it, despite the lack of fruit such efforts bear.

Anyway, Chris didn't even try to stop me. When I asked if he wanted to come back from the Otherside, he had faith in me. He believed.

He knew:

-I would never fuck with him over such a serious subject

-I could do it, even if it had never been done before

-I had already gained permission from the Lord- I never would've brought it up otherwise

And of course, he knows my sense of humor. I was being casual about a giant move - taking him from the dead to the living- despite his sins, despite what got him there in the first place, despite everything. I was being super casual.

And that gave him more hope than anything. Chris didn't hesistate when I asked him if he would interested in coming home to me.

"Yeah!!!"

And in that one word, in that one reaction, his love and trust in me spoke volumes.

I love that man.

You have no fucking idea.

That was August 12. It's August 15 now. It's been three days. Three wonderful and blissful days. I am floating in the clouds.

Yes, I miss Tom. He broke my heart, but he still has it. And we talk everyday. But I miss writing him everyday. But - like Chris before him - he fucked with my protections in order to have me to himself and no one else.

He turned my own husband against me.

God, Nick and I are past that, for the most part, but the Lord didn't send Tom over to the Otherside for no reason. I hope it sobers him up soon. But he's Loki, dammit. I think it will take more than a day or two.

Sigh.

And yet.

And yet, I have Chris Hemsworth back. My Chris. My first Chris. And my God, the skies shine bright in my life once more.

I feel lifted up, light. Say what you want about that man, but he loves with a strength and purity rarely found in all the kingdoms these days. The Otherside has changed him.

Now he just wants me. He doesn't give a fuck about the others in my life. He doesn't compete with them. He doesn't attack them. He just stays next to me, and loves me.

And one way he loves me is through his music.

Even now, an hour after I began writing this journal entry, his music is still playing on my phone. I know which songs he has written and which ones were written by other angels.

Note: if a song or a movie is universally known and famous, if people across all ages and empires know the beat, the lyrics or the characters, then you can bet it was written by an angel. They take their creatiohs and drop them in the heads of writers, producers and studio execs they've taken a liking to or have a great deal of influence with.

J.K. Rowling said that Harry Potter walked into her head in a cafe. Yeah. The angel Gustaf was passing through Scotland, spotted her and thought she was perfect for telling the story he wanted told. So he blessed her with the story, fully formed.

It's no different for hit songs or hit movies.

And Chris Hemsworth is the angel behind some of the most amazing songs. I've come to know his style, feel and messaging this past year. Now, if I hear a song, I can often guess which angel was involved: Chris Hemsworth, Tom Hiddleston, Ryan Gosling, Paul Rudd, Chris Evans, Gustaf or the very human Kyle Redd.

Well, I've been writing for a while now. I should probably go. As I write this I'm listening to Scars to Your Beautiful (Alessia Cara) right after Chris played Broken (Isak Danielson). He knows I listen to the lyrics now, and - I don't know - he's divine.

Literally and figuratively.

Until next time, my dear journal, over and out!!!

Katherine

[chibbypanda]

Paradox Live | what the anime’s finale could’ve been…

General SPOILERS of the events that happened during the first Paradox Live.

The finale of Paradox Live the Animation was a mess.

It was a bundle of anime original ideas that were cool on paper, but felt haphazardly executed due to the show’s pacing. There is only so much twelve episodes can do, and it seemed that it wasn’t enough time to flesh out those ideas.

I can go on about my thoughts on Allen’s conflict with his father or my mixed feelings towards the unnamed scientist’s motives, but I’m here today not to burn the final episodes to the coals. Rather, I want to explore the season finale and what it might’ve been.

Before I do just that, I need to share some context.

The drama CDs implied that a major incident happened at CLUB paradox before the events of LIVE.

While the incident in question was never explicitly explained, it did cause three major events:

It made Kanata remember Nayuta’s “death.”

It revealed that Alter Trigger not only organized Paradox Live, but implied that they intended to do something to the performers.

It made the performers realize just how powerful and dangerous phantometal can be.

What made the anime stand out at the time (fingers crossed that the manga will have its own take in the future) was how it portrayed that very incident. In the anime, Alter Trigger forced Kanata to remember his repressed trauma to turn him into a phantometal vessel that will spread the metal erosion to everyone inside CLUB paradox.

The purpose? To make everyone become one with the metal. Why? I have no idea. The scientist just said that he wanted to become messiah and to strip away humanity’s pain and suffering…or something. Okay, Haruomi did comment that the scientist just wanted puppets to control so maybe the scientist wanted to take over the world. That said, considering how everyone affected would likely die as soon as the metal reaches their literal hearts…I don’t know how the mind control thing will happen.

Frankly, I don’t know if the scientist would’ve had any control of the rampage at all. He may have started Kanata’s descent to madness, but unless he has a way to actually control Kanata himself…technically the scientist’s experiment has run wild and for all we know, Kanata might’ve just devoured the entire venue with the scientist in tow.

Other than that, I have no clue of who the scientist is as a person nor understood his implied history with BURAIKAN (except how he apparently killed Chisei or directly contributed to his death). He’s just a mad scientist who happened to conduct a similar experiment ten years ago, and then decided to do it again.

There’s just so much missed potential there.

And of course, the day was saved when BAE, TCW, and AKYR gathered together to sing a friendship rap to free Kanata from his metal-induced state. The rap was well-sung and I love the lyrics. I understand the show’s intent behind its setup, though it’s a bit hard to believe that it’s what saved Kanata considering that he and the others were barely friends but anyway—I’m not here to burn them. I did that already in other places. I am here to wrap my head around the intentions of these plotlines to find a bright side. Because when I think about it, they could’ve been quite something.

This is where I get loosely philosophical.

Based on the finale’s resolution, it seemed like the show intended to hammer in the message of how music has the power to connect people in ways that are hard to see but can be felt regardless. That’s why the scientist used Paradox Live for his plan, as well as why the characters tried to reach Kanata through music.

It appeared to be a nod to the general project as it was an outlook originally said by Tsubaki, Naokira’s wife and Yohei’s friend. She believed in music’s power to connect to others which was why she saw the potential of phantometal.

To me, this line of thinking seems to be inspired by the words of German philosopher Arthur Schopenhauer who wrote the following in his book, “The World as Will and Representation”:

Therefore music is by no means like the other arts, namely a copy of the Ideas, but a copy of the will itself, the objectivity of which are the Ideas. For this reason the effect of music is so very much more powerful and penetrating than is that of the other arts, for these others speak only of the shadow, but music of the essence.

The human will is defined as an insatiable force that drives people to act and move forward towards their goals, even though there’s no guarantee that this “goal” will be achieved. Thus, it becomes the “root cause of all suffering” but nevertheless the thing that makes us human. Therefore, it is said that in order to be at peace with one’s self—one needs to temporarily release themselves from the will by momentarily losing themselves to the arts—one of them being music.

With that in mind, Schopenhauer believed that out of all the arts music could pierce through a person’s will the most because it was seen as a direct representation of the human will. He believed that unlike the other art forms that could only capture the shadow of things, music can be presented as itself.

Okay, that sounds interesting, but how is it related to Paradox Live?

It might be just me, but as I said before, I think the finale attempted to implement Schopenhauer’s view on music in its anime-original finale.

For one, the scientist’s plan was already messed up as it is. He basically forced someone to relive their repressed trauma to cause a dangerous chain reaction that could claim the lives of every person the venue—or even the city if he’s not stopped. On it’s own, it’s clear why he needs to be stopped.

That said, if you look at it in a more philosophical lens, then it becomes more poignant as to why everyone—Haruomi especially since he’s the only one aware of what’s actually happening behind the scenes—was strongly against it.

As stated before, Schopenhauer believed that music can be used as a means to temporarily release oneself from the will in order to ease one’s suffering. Emphasis on temporary because while the human will can cause suffering—it is nonetheless the driving force that allows humans to overcome suffering and thus live. The arts, let alone music is never meant to be used to destroy what makes us human. It is meant to connect and inspire us to keep going—to remind us that life is worth living.

“Losing oneself isn’t salvation.”

Haruomi told the scientist during their confrontation. The scientist’s plan is the antithesis of music’s purpose. To him, it wasn’t enough to temporarily release humanity from their suffering. No, he wanted to use music to permanently strip away the human will to “save” humanity from their suffering. And by doing so, he essentially took away their will to live, and thus their sense of self. How is that any different from being dead?

There’s this other cool detail I noticed, and it’s probably there for drama and stuff, but when Kanata was turning into the vessel fake BURAKAN told him this:

“Change the world with your screams!”

On one hand, it’s villain dialogue but on the other hand it could’ve been another nod to how the scientist’s plan was the antithesis to what music is. They could’ve said, “Change the world with your song!” or somewhere along those lines. After all, Kanata’s chosen because of his music (also the fact that he won by default which is a questionable writing decision for the anime).

So why screams? If music is perceived as the closest representation of the human will, then it can be argued that Kanata lost his music the moment he lost his will to live. It kind of happened in the LIVE drama. After remembering the truth of his situation, Kanata lost his reason to live which led him to lose his reason to sing and thus he couldn’t create illusions.

Just a quick tangent, this seems reminiscent to what happened to Allen in the season finale—when he lost his ability to use illusions. Could it be that because his will has been shaken by doubt, it affected his music and thus his phantometal? If it weren’t for the choice to make cozmez win by default, then I would’ve been sold on this plotline.

In context with the anime’s finale, it seems have happened again when Kanata transformed into the phantometal vessel. By forcing him to confront the reality of Nayuta’s “passing,” Kanata has lost his reason (Nayuta) to sing or live, and by having his will snuffed out—so does his music. And by being possessed by the metal, he’s forced to snuff out the will of others in turn.

That’s why CLUB paradox was filled with static, screams, and whimpers. By using music to snuff out the will, music has unsurprisingly died with it. That sounds so cool, and I wish that the anime fleshed out that concept.

Actually, come to think of it, I wonder if the way Kanata remembered Nayuta’s “death” would have affected the severity of the incident.

In the anime, Iori made a comment that Kanata’s metal went berserk due to its owner’s memories being forcibly opened—implying that Kanata’s state of mind made the situation worse. The original project has yet to reveal how Kanata exactly remembered the truth, but the manga did show that illusion Nayuta disappeared on his own without any prompting from other forces (in the anime, illusion Nayuta disappeared because fake BURAIKAN’s pushed Kanata into a corner).

If illusion Nayuta is a piece of Kanata’s subconscious, and he disappeared in his own accord…does that mean that Kanata felt that he’s ready to let go deep down? But again, it’s still unclear if the manga will adapt its own take of the incident so whether Kanata’s mental state affects the incident itself is still up in the air.

Back at the topic at hand, there’s also the Friendship Rap—the resolution of the story. I think its main issue was in its execution because story-wise it makes sense. The show has established that music has the power to connect to others, and philosophically music is the closest representation of the human will. Therefore, gathering together to sing their hearts out in hopes to reignite Kanata’s will makes a lot of sense.

“Remember cozmez’s music and our sound!”

That’s what Allen pleaded to Kanata. By remembering the music he made with Nayuta, as well as the music that drives him to get better at his craft, Kanata was finally able to regain his sense of self.

When he was struggling near the end of Last Verse (the moments before Allen summons his phoenix illusion), I want to believe that it’s Kanata fighting the phantometal with everyone too. He wanted to live. He wanted to be saved. He wanted to face life head on, even if Nayuta won’t be there with him (Nayuta’s alive in the end, so lucky him).

And so, in the end, the scientist plot—and in turn his warped philosophy was thwarted. He was literally beaten up by Haruomi and figuratively defeated by the characters’ strong bonds (or at least, they would’ve been strong bonds if the show didn’t pace it in a way that makes it feel like a gathering of acquittances).

And that’s how I think the show would’ve been.

With more time, Paradox Live the Animation would’ve been a fun yet compelling exploration of the power of music and its connection to the human will. They could’ve fleshed out the scientist’s motives and his history with BURAIKAN, as well as show more moments of Kanata bonding with the others in order to make the Last Verse more poignant in its message of human connection.

But alas, the show is already over and we can only think about it in retrospect. Regardless, the show will always hold a special place in my heart for its quirks and I hope that a season two will be greenlit. Like please! I want more ParaLive anime content!

That’s all for now. What are your thoughts on Paradox Live the Animation? Share your thoughts in the comments below. Thanks for reading!

[trillscienceofficer]

Had a Fenris Ranger show ever gotten made Seven would’ve probably accepted some truths about herself and dealt with the avoidance but Picard was so focused on Starfleet and putting her in a place she’d previously said she didn’t want to be that it’s like you said, negative character development. Still, I like what we got of her in the first two seasons and wanted to see more growth and vulnerability especially through her relationship with Raffi. Because as much as I like them together you’re right in that in being so avoidant she causes Raffi a lot of pain. It came off (season two) like Raffi was just that in love but I do think that eventually she’d be less willing to accept Seven coming and going both emotionally and physically?

(In reference to this post)

Oh for sure, I agree with you and I would have liked to see some more growth and vulnerability for Seven, the ending of S2 seemed to point in that direction even if (from what I gather) the season was less than ideal about getting to that final 'resolution' between Seven and Raffi. But then we got S3 and that breakup off-screen and that awkwardness between them and like... what am I supposed to get from that, except that Seven is once again running away from the chance of finding some stability and genuine care because she can't bear the idea of being honest about what she wants? Many others have said this better than me but her joining Starfleet feels like such a copout, after so many years in the Rangers. It's like we're seeing Seven having a stupid midlife crisis and trying to evoke the time she was on Voyager/had just returned to the AQ full of hope that she could belong somewhere, and belonging has always been what she wanted the most. Don't get me wrong, I can definitely see Seven doing exactly that (it's fitting, with this theme of both avoidance and frantic searching) but obviously the show never frames it as the deeply worrying development I think it is for her. Again, I get it: Seven's life objectively sucked so hard! It makes sense for her to be so dysfunctional! But it is absolutely an accidental narrative.

Mostly I'm sorry for Raffi who's had her own fair share of terrible experiences in life and she's bound to think that the breakdown of their relationship is her fault when, knowing Seven, it's very likely not. I also agree with you that I would've liked to see Raffi not putting up with so much of Seven's crap about ~fear of commitment~ or whatever. A Black woman having to carry entirely on her back the effort of maintaining a relationship with a white partner is just a racist storyline, like there is no arguing that as far as I'm concerned, and it's doubly offensive given Seven of Nine's long history of being handed narratives that end up stifling characters of color. I wish Raffi had been given so much more space, and better storylines where she had so much more agency, even (and maybe especially) when it came to Seven. It's all really stupid because given the paragraph above, it's not like Seven got good stories on Picard either! And yet Raffi got the short end of the stick anyway.

(Seven really fucked up with Raffi, like... love the inherent messiness of their situation post-Picard canon and I think they're not over each other but if we're talking about healthy relationships then imho Raffi should probably just get as far away as possible from Seven until Seven gets her act together, if she ever does. Like many others I do want them to be happy together but I don't know how they can do that with the premises we're left with. And I do also love train wrecks, so there's that.)

The only thing that I see differently from you is that... I don't think the Rangers were that much better for Seven. I mean I also would have preferred for her to stay a pirate who's into good deeds (much more than Starfleet for sure! did they really want to make a show on the Rangers? That would've been cool). But the way I see it, she was a Ranger for so many years and it never really made her life better, either. To me Picard!Seven, even in S1, always looked like someone who is masking 100% of the time, who has a barely disguised alcohol addiction and is clearly restless and unhappy where she is, and who carries so much guilt for her past bad choices (especially in people). If being a Ranger was her true calling, why doesn't it seem to make her life any easier, or at least allow her to be true to herself a little? Something needs to change majorly for the Rangers to become a place where Seven can start growing again. But again, your perspective as someone who liked the first two seasons of Picard is totally understandable to me! I just never gelled well with this show at any time, so I'm more critical of its early choices too.

[zeroducks-2]

Zero, pls give me the strength to write a filth ass sladick fic. I’ve got the brain worms for one specific abo fic, and I stg, it’s all I can think about rn 😭 do u have any advice for me?? Writing? Motivation? Characterization? 🥺🙏

Of course!

Now I'm of the opinion that writing advice, ALL the writing advice you find online with no exception whatsoever, is totally useless. "Think of the characters this way!", "structure the plot that way!", "motivate yourself going by percentages!" etc - it's not that it's bad pieces of advice, in fact, they're all great suggestions. The issue with them is that creating a story has some technical aspects, but writing is unique to every person.

One of the billion writing advice floating around might be great for you, or maybe all of them work, but maybe not at single one is even vaguely useful, because how you approach writing is strictly personal so if they work on you or not is completely hit and miss.

Therefore what I can tell you is how I work, and maybe you'll find some compatible aspects and it can help you :)

Long post ahead!

Writing & Motivation:

MOST IMPORTANT. Talk about this with someone. DM your beloved mutual, hit your bestie up on discord, annoy me on anon, do whatever you need to talk about this fic. Talk about the plot, how the characters are supposed to be like, what should happen, what world building is in place, how the sex should pan out. "But people will be annoyed!" NO WE WON'T, I PROMISE. I love hearing people's ideas on their next fic, AU, revolutionary plot bunny. I love all of them and I'm not the only one. Talk to us about your fic!

Don't pick a specific time or moment of the day to start writing. You have 20 minutes and then your cousin will be there? It's alright, throw down 30 words in those minutes. You have two hours and you're afraid you'll get in too deep before the dentist appointment? I KNOW IT HURTS but when you're back from the dentist you might be tired, in pain, not motivated anymore. Write when you feel the itch, even on a leaflet with a permanent marker (I normally use my phone's notes if I have no choice). Don't wait for the right moment, the right moment can be any time you want it to be!

Don't plan a shitton of chapters. Plan just one, write that one. "But it's 1k and there isn't even smut!" It's still better than no chapter at all with 0k words isn't it? Write that scene, no matter how short it is. Once it's done admire it, look how beautiful it is. You want to write more now? Great, go ahead! You don't feel like going on with this? It might be time to share your little thing with someone on AO3, on tumblr or IRL! And if writing just that one little chapter satisfied you, that also is okay! Oh wait, you only know what to write for your sex scene, no context? Write that sex scene, the context is right there in your head. If you'll also want to write the context that's fantastic, but start by writing that scene you want to write, don't stress because you need to "get to it". Don't punish yourself with "I can write what I want to write only after 20k words of introduction", that's the perfect recipe to make you drop the fic.

Characterization

Don't be afraid that the characters might be OOC. I promise you no one cares, and the people who care won't click on an ABO fic which maybe is also a Feudal Japan AU with aliens. What matters is the impression of the characters. I'm writing one of the sections of my Omegaverse Royal AU at the moment, and I decided to make it Eobarry! But I have no idea how to write Eobard, he is a real challenge to me - I have an Eobard expert friend who gives me some advice, but still. He's a complex character with a rich history and there isn't much I can do to keep him IC, but the thing is... if I don't write this, there's simply going to be less Eobarry fics to go around. Better if there's one more, even if it's not up to whatever imaginary standard I set with myself, than one less.

Don't be afraid to make the characters act a certain way because it's convenient. This is the exact opposite advice I give when people are writing non-transformative work: When you're writing a story, once you decide that a character is afraid of spiders you need to stick with it and make them afraid of spiders forever, they can't be afraid of spiders only for 1 scene. This does not count for fanfictions. Fanfictions exist for us to have fun, be horny, feel a whole lot of emotions and fulfill the desire to chew on our blorbos like they were squeaky toys. So you want Dick to be afraid of spiders in this fic? It never happened in canon...? Who gives a shit, he is now afraid of spiders. You want to make Slade very good at playing marbles? Cool, he is now a champion marble player for your fic and your fic only. And it doesn't matter if the characters are not consistent and "fall in love too quickly", or if "the sex is not realistic", or if "they should get pregnant like this", or if "there's no way they'd be alright with this situation". None of this crap, nobody gives a damn. You're writing to have fun, not to win a literary prize.

You might write A LOT and then realize you are absolutely unsatisfied with how the story went, because a character did something which set them on a course that you ended up not liking. It's fine! Go back to where the choice was taken and split the fic! Coincidentally, it's something I am doing with my Omegaverse Royal AU (the Sladick part) because I decided I wanted it darker :)

And remember, it's okay to be inspired by other fics. If you take something precisely off another fic you might want to ask permission because it's the polite thing to do, but if for example you find that you write Alpha Slade with a scar on his mating gland because you read that in my fic, that's totally okay! We continuously get inspired by each other, and my beloved writer friends know that I take inspiration from their things! (indeed my Omegaverse Royal AU, because apparently it's the perfect example for everything today, was inspired by the amazing works of anawrites and TheSubtextIs, with their Conflict Resolution and Conquered by Love).

Reach out if you need help, or if you want more specific advice that might be 100% useless! Cheers :D

[ghostlynimbus]

Your History On My Skin

Rating: M

Ship: Billy Harrgrove/Steve Harrington

Summary:

Steve Harrington may not be the sharpest tool in the shed, but it doesn’t take a genius to figure out what his soulmate is going through. An AU where soulmates share pain/injuries.

Note:

I have gone back and edited chapters 1 & 2. The only significant change is that Jonathan & Nancy are no longer soulmates in this fic. This is being posted as part of my most recent WIP poll, so here are the first 100 words of Ch 3.

CH 3

Steve probably should have seen the break up with Nancy coming.

He should have noticed how unhappy she was with him, he should have paid more attention to her and he should have tried harder to understand her feelings.

He maybe probably shouldn’t have gotten back together with her in the first place.

But he loves her, even after everything that happened last fall, and foolishly or not he believed her when she said she loved him too.

He also, selfishly maybe, doesn’t want to be alone.

Tommy and Carol still won't speak to him except to make jabs. And Steve doesn’t really have anyone else. 

[littleragondin]

Thai BL Favorite List

I have been tagged by @troubled-mind thank you so much!

Credit to @thatgirl4815 for the original.

Favorite Thai BL:

Until We Meet Again. I have seen my fair share of BL now, especially Thai, but somehow, I always come back to this one. I think it just packs up SO many things I love. Soulmates, sure, but also great friendships, two very different romantic dynamics I both really enjoy, tragedy but with the hope and reassurance that things actually do get better, and maybe most of all incredible family and siblings’ history and relationships. I love the story, the way it’s told and the time it takes to weave itself, I love the characters and the cast, how it looks and the music. I have seen it a few times now and it still has the same grip on my heart than when I first watched it week after week when it came out.

Favorite Pairing:

While I don’t really like the concept of fixed pairing (let actors mix up! Surprise me! Make me fall in love with improbable pairs!), I’d lie if I say there are no actor duo I really enjoy seeing together so. I will say that I am very fond of and happy to get to see JamFilm again and will 100% track whatever they do together after that if it ever happens.

And there is something I find especially adorable in JoongDunk, I have to say (don’t ask me to explain, just cute).

Most underrated actor:

I pondered over that one for a long time, as there are many actors I’d love to see more recognized and all. But I will go with Big Thanakorn. I greatly enjoyed him in everything I have seen him in, and at this point I really would like a nice main role for him (where he f i n a l l y get the goddamn boy please and thank you).

(*whispers* also please look at him)

Favorite Character:

Just… just one? Do you also want me to pick a single child to save? CRUEL. PITILESS. (ಡ‸ಡ)

Okay, okay, OKAY. Probably the hardest one of the whole bunch because my heart is huge and houses many m a n y characters whom I love dearly. But I think if I had to pick only one, I would go with In Chatpokin from UWMA. He is so bright and so brave, he loves so much and so sincerely, and he is so tragically young. He's flawed, in the way humans and young people are, but he's just.. he feels like someone I would also love in real life, and I do think he is fantastic as a character. So, yeah, I'd pick In.

 Favorite Side Character:

Once again after long deliberation etc etc... I will go with Rit from Triage. I was so incredibly invested in his survival and happiness it was borderline ridiculous. He was sweet and tragic and deserved so much better than the cards he had been handed at the start! I could have handled any end where he was doing ok that's how much i loved him (tho to be fair all the secondary characters in that show were great). Could not find a gif so have a still for him!

Favorite Scene in a BL:

That one is subject to change as often as the weather because I am a fickle beast, but brain provided the 'morning after' scene from Ghost Host, Ghost House. The quiet normalcy of it, the way they laugh and smile at each other, I really adored that scene.

Favorite Line in a BL:

I have a terrible memory and I can't really remember a lot of exact lines from the BL I have seen. EXCEPT I actually know a lot of lines from "To Sir, With Love" which must means something (it means i have khun chai brain rot, mainly) so that's where my pick will come from. And I think, both because of what it says about the character and his struggles and desires, and the way it is delivered (which always breaks my heart) it has to be:

"So my mother had to keep the secret that I like men. If everyone knows, the Song family will be ruined because of me. I don’t want to be the head of the association. I never wanted to. I just want to be me."

(not the scene I'm quoting but the emotion is The SameTM)

Most Anticipated BL (and why):

Right now I think it has to be a tie between I Feel You Linger in the Air (time travel! Costume drama! Pain! Women in love! Also excited to see more of Nonkul whose cameo in “Oh No! Here Comes Trouble” I really enjoyed)

and The Whisperer (horror! Fluke with long hair! Murder and mystery! Blood! Horror again! Did I mention Fluke with long hair?!).

Healthiest Relationship in BL:

We are getting more and more of those, aren't we? Making the choice more difficult but for once, a nice problem to have I'd say. I have seen some excellent choices but I think I will go with all the relationships in Secret Crush on You. Intouch and Daisy are OBVIOUS in how respectful and adorable they are, SkyJao make an excellent show of being respectful of your partner's desires and boundaries as well as the importance of being open about your vulnerability, and even TohNueah ok? Yes, yes they both are SUPER weird and borderline (to straight up) creepy BUT they learn to talk it out and to compromise so they can harmonize their weirdness into something that is respectful of the other. I'll pick the rainbow babies.

Most Toxic Relationship in BL:

I mean, I saw TT so … But ignoring this one, my mind immediately went to Mork/Pi from FUTS. As much as I wanted to like it, I just think that between the manipulation and the way it always follow the 'Mork insists it's best and Pi yields despite his objections and discomfort' formula, this is a recipe for disaster. (also I love Pi SO DAMN MUCH and I just want to pluck him out of there)

Guilty Pleasure Series:

I try to not feel guilty about things I enjoy, especially not on there. But if it's something I would not necessarily recommend when I want to look like I have refined tastes... I'd pick Rakdiao I think. It's a sitcom with all the genre imply from the humor to the taped laughs and over played reactions but I loved it! It's super silly and the characters are a bit cartoonish, but it's pretty and fun and when it picks up the relationship between Rak and Diao is actually really nice. And there are some genuine moments of really well acted emotions that I love replaying (Rak's realization that he loved Diao? ART)

Most Underrated Series:

So many of them! I’m so happy to see “He’s Coming to Me” second rising because it’s deserved, I do hope Suar’s success in La Pluie will lead people to give “You’re My Sky” a chance (because it’s great and so so SO pretty), and I hope people will watch “To Sir, with love” for more JamFilm post Laws of Attraction. But for this one I will pick two other shows (I know I know) that I feel deserve to have more people give it a chance (and that will feed into my ‘a sad story is not a bad story’ agenda).

First is “The Miracle of Teddy Bear”. It took me some time before I started this one because the echo I heard about it were so negative it kind of turned me off. And I think it’s a tragedy! Not only because I loved it (which I obviously did), but also because it has an extremely talented cast, it had so much to say about so many important things, while being very honest all along about the story it was telling. I think it’s underappreciated mostly because people wanted another story told (I know some people said the ending came out of nowhere and like… I could not disagree harder! It was the natural conclusion to that story!) and because I think Nut is an incredibly misunderstood character (I loved him beyond words, and he made me think so much of when @bengiyo said “y’all don’t like gay men when we’re not pretty, funny, sexy, or entertaining” because yes, most of the time he really is none of those things, he’s hurt and angry and he has ugly reactions and MAN I felt SO much for him). I mean sure, be aware that it’s not just a fluffy comedy before you get into it, and it has its flaws too, but I think it told a beautiful story that had a lot of heart in it – and for that it does deserve more chance, and if you were toying with the idea of watching this one, consider this your sign to actually try it!  

Second, I will say “Something in My Room”. I really enjoyed that one, not only because I have a soft spot for ghosts (tho if you follow me, you know I do), but because I thought it had a pretty solid story in there, and once again it’s a story that stayed true to what it was telling. It’s necessary to watch the uncut version (the cut one is apparently taking off huge plot-central moments), but I think it deserved more attention than it got. The cast is really good once again, it has a lot of fantastic and complex female characters, I think Nut Supanut was an absolute DELIGHT in this one (with an adorable smile), and while it sometimes wavers a little on some of the things it touches upon, generally speaking it was a solid little show (I especially liked the theater show, and everything with Big’s character alien metaphor). (also it has Big in glasses and that HAS to count for something)

+BONUS

Favorite Setting/Location:

Look, listen, listen. Give me an aquarium, ok? You can NEVER go wrong with an aquarium, there is something about the light in those either it’s blue, green, or slightly purple, about the overwhelming immensity of all that water while you’re safe behind the glass, about the pretty fishes… I do adore an aquarium. Peak romance peak colors peak location.

I know most everyone has done it, and I may tag people who already answered (if so please forgive me) but maybe @petrichoraline @benkaaoi, @silverquillsideas @nonkul and @heretherebedork if you felt like it?