#a lot of these are going to be cool parasites i anticipate

[mo-ondial]

the star / the black hole

the star is a bioluminescent nocturnal pollinator. they grow brighter as they age in their butterfly form due to the microbe causing their bioluninescence growing in number in response to being fed by nectar. brighter dragons are more likely to attract a mate, as it indicates they are experiencing greater abundance, however dragons that grow brighter quicker on less nectar indicate that they are allocating more of it to their wings, where the microbe becomes pathogenic in high enough concentration and kills the dragon at the end of its life cycle.

the black hole has an asexual sporing stage that reproduces via binary fission inside of certain plants. any of these spores are able to be picked up by a star egg where the black hole becomes a parasite maturing inside the star until after its life cycle it encapsulates its hosts body to use the skeleton of its wings to fly as far as it can and spread spores to new plants.

stars favor laying their eggs in black hole infested plants because they cannot pass the glowing microbes to their offspring, instead needing to be colonized upon hatching. the black hole cultures this microbe such that it is abundant in infected plants, and it doesnt parasitize every egg, but every egg is colonized.

[xlovely-liviix]

Long Gone: A Hazbin Hotel Fanfiction

Angst is my lifeline.

So is huskerdust.

And sibling relationships.

Why not combine them all?

Hi everyone! I decided to create a small little mini fanfic on @scribbsyscribs 's fanfiction: 'When You're With Me', that is based off of @boldlygreatsuit 's huskerdust lovechild AU!

For context: Angel had been killed on extermination day, and had gotten himself into heaven. Little did he know, Husker left him a little "gift" the night before the extermination. (Yeah, if you haven't guessed, it's mpreg.)

TW: disassociation, violence, (implied) drug abuse,, (implied) SA, etc.

[If you're uncomfortable, please click off, okay? It doesn't hurt me!]

Years.

Years of waiting.

Years of trying to get clean, failing, and then trying again.

Years of disappointment.

It was finally paying off in this moment.

Was Angel nervous?

Fuck yes.

Besides the nervousness, there was another feeling.

One of anticipation.

He knew that this was the sole reason that he even decided to put an effort into trying to get redeemed. This would finally make Angel feel complete.

Angel ran a hand through his fluffy bangs as he walked down the gold-plated street. Never had he ever forgotten how to walk, but in this moment, he felt as if he couldn't even function properly.

This whole ordeal was just so...nerve-wracking! It's not every day that you get to reunite with your sibling that you haven't seen in....decades.

If he succeeded, that was.

Five months ago when he first got into heaven, he had immediately started looking for his sister.

What he didn't realize, though, was that heaven housed a lot of people. It was nothing short of overwhelming.

It also didn't help that whenever he tried to seek assistance in finding her, people shied away from him, treating him as some sort of outcast..some sort of...disease carrier.

He knew that not everyone here would welcome him with open arms. After all, he was a sinner, a redeemed sinner perhaps, but a sinner nonetheless. His every step, every word, every action was tainted by the memories of his past. He couldn't help but wonder how the other inhabitants of heaven would treat him, how they would judge him.

By now, everyone had heard of the redeemed sinners from hell.

Due to the events that led to Adam's death, the people had begun to get more curious on the matter.

Nevertheless, curiosity comes with questions.

Questions that the higher-ups of heaven weren't fond of answering.

In order to "protect" what they had built and shield the winners from finding out the real truth, the elder angels, along with the seraphims, crafted a fib in hopes of quenching the winners' thirst for answers.

They had made out the redeemed sinners to be some sort of parasite-- some infectious disease that you shouldn't get too close to.

It hurt.

It hurt when Angel was stared at with pure hatred and fear as he went about his business.

It hurt when people chased him away.

It hurt when he was excluded from things.

Was it him?

No, no. It's heaven's twisted views.

....Right?

｡ﾟ•┈꒰ა ♡ ໒꒱┈• ｡ﾟ

Angel stood before the gates of heaven, gazing up at the vast, celestial expanse that stretched above him. 

The air was cool and crisp, the sky an unearthly shade of blue that seemed to go on forever. He shivered, not from the cold but from the weight of anticipation and hope that threatened to crush his chest. He had finally made it here, to this place of eternal peace and beauty. A place he had fought so hard to reach.

It felt…unreal?

Did he even deserve this?

Angel shook his head.

Of course he deserved it! He had worked so hard to get clean, and it all paid off.

Although the conditions of his redemption were…undesirable, Angel still felt a sense of pride within himself for finally making it into the utopia. 

He glanced down at his wings, newly grown and radiating a soft, golden glow. They felt strange, foreign almost, but they belonged to him now. They marked him as one of the chosen ones. He flexed them, feeling the air around him ripple like silk, and marveled at their delicate beauty.

As he took in the breathtaking scenery around him, he couldn't help but wonder what it was like for the other angels. 

They had lived here for eternity, after all. 

Did they ever grow tired of it? 

Did they ever long for something more? 

Something new?

 He hoped not. He hoped they found peace and contentment in this place.

Angel squinted up at the sun, feeling its warmth on his face. It was bright, almost blindingly so, but it didn't hurt his eyes. It felt good, almost comforting. He wondered if he'd ever grow accustomed to the light here.

Albeit, he’d admit it was much better than the fires of hell.

Angel looked around, trying to take in every detail of his surroundings. He noticed that the grass was a brilliant emerald green, soft and plush under his feet, and the flowers that dotted the landscape seemed to glow with an inner light, their petals shimmering like stained glass. The trees were tall and stately, their bark smooth and silvery, and their branches teeming with an abundance of fruit that looked too perfect to eat. Even the clouds that floated lazily across the sky seemed to have been painted by an artist's brush.

He closed his eyes, breathing in the fresh air of heaven. In hell, there was only the fog of ash and the smell of smoke, a vast contrast to the scent of heaven, which smelled quite pleasant-- if peacefulness was a smell, this would be it.

Opening his eyes, he was greeted with a bright white light, as he looked up, bringing a hand up to shield his face from the light source as he tried to take a glimpse at what was becoming of the strange light. 

The white light grew stronger, before two figures began to appear within the midst of the light.

Angel found himself gaping at the sight before him as the two beings slowly came into focus. One of them was a woman, tall and statuesque, her wings a shimmering white that seemed to glow from within. Her face was serene and ageless, her eyes a piercing blue that held wisdom beyond measure. Her hair flowed freely down her back, a cascade of gold and silver that shimmered with every movement.

The other figure was much younger, a girl perhaps, with wings that were a vibrant shade of grey mixed with a sunny yellow. Her features were delicate and innocent, her eyes bright with wonder and joy. She smiled at Angel, revealing a set of pearly white teeth, and bounced on her feet eagerly.

"Hi!" she exclaimed, her voice tinged with excitement. "I'm Emily. It's so nice to meet you!" She held out her hand, her movements lively and uninhibited. 

Angel took her hand, feeling a surge of warmth and energy flow through him.

"I'm Angel," he said, smiling back at her. "It's good to meet you too."

Sera, the older Seraphim, smiled kindly at the pair. She stood several feet behind Emily, her wings folded gracefully behind her back. Though she appeared calm and serene, there was an air of authority about her that was unmistakable.

"Angel," she said, her voice smooth as silk, "I am Sera, and it is my honor to welcome you into the fold." 

She dipped her head in a respectful nod. "Emily and I will be your guides as you begin your journey here in heaven. We will teach you the ways of the angels, and help you find your purpose among us."

"Thank you, Sera," he said, his voice steady and resolute. "I am honored to serve beside you, and I promise to do my best to uphold the ideals of heaven." He had never talked in this way before, but in the presence of a being such as Sera herself, Angel felt the need to be..more professional in a sense. 

He glanced at Emily, feeling a pang of envy mixed with admiration. 

She was so full of life and joy, and it was infectious. He couldn't help but wonder what it would be like to be as carefree and unburdened as she was.

Sera nodded, her expression approving. "Very well then," she said.

She motioned for Angel to come along, in which he did.

As they walked through the clouds, the sunlight streaming through the cottony mass above, casting dappled patterns on the landscape below, Emily bubbled with excitement. She skipped from cloud to cloud, her wings fluttering gracefully as she moved. Sera walked beside Angel, her wings followed behind her once more.

"So, Emily," Angel asked, trying to keep up with her pace as they jogged over the clouds, "what's it like here in heaven? I mean, what do you do all day?"

Emily beamed at him. "Oh, there's so much to do! We help people, of course. We guide them, comfort them, and protect them. But we also get to play and have fun! Sometimes we'll fly together, just for the joy of it, or we'll have picnics on the clouds. Sometimes we'll even race!" She giggled, looking back at Angel.

Sera chuckled softly. "Yes, Emily does enjoy her races. But she is also quite skilled at herding. You'll see when the time comes."

They continued their walk, passing by clusters of clouds that formed into shapes of animals or objects. A herd of glowing, white deer grazed nearby, their hooves making no sound on the soft surface. A flock of birds, their feathers shimmering with iridescent hues, fluttered and sang in the distance.

"And the gardens," Emily added, pointing to a section of clouds that had been shaped into a lush, green garden, filled with flowers and trees. "We get to tend to those. Sometimes we'll plant new seeds, or prune the trees and flowers. It's so peaceful, and it makes heaven even more beautiful." She glanced at Angel, her expression hopeful. "Would you like to see them?"

Angel nodded, eager to see more of this wondrous place. As they drew closer, he marveled at the intricate details of the garden. The flowers were more vibrant than anything he had ever seen before, and the scent that drifted through the air was intoxicating. 

He bent down near a nearby rose bush, carefully plucking one of the luscious flowers from its stem.

"These roses," he said, holding the flower up to his nose, "smell unlike anything I've ever encountered before. They're so... so alive."

Emily nodded, her expression gentle. "Yes, they are quite special. You see, when people on Earth give roses to one another, they're showing love and appreciation. Well, here in heaven, we take those feelings and amplify them, making the roses even more vibrant and alive as a reflection of the love that was shared. It's a reminder of the bond that connects all of us, even from beyond the grave."

Angel paused, looking down back at the rose. 

Although the younger seraphim didn't mean any harm with that sentence, it only pained him to think about the love that he could've had...the love that he and Husk had shared...

Emily, who was still walking beside him, seemed to sense his melancholy and put a comforting hand on his shoulder.

 "You know," she said softly, "it's not just about having love in the past. It's about carrying that love with you, and using it to make your present and future brighter. You never truly lose someone who mattered to you. They'll always be a part of you, just like the love you shared."

Angel looked up at her, his expression uncertain. "Y-yeah…"

"Oh, you'll see," Emily assured him with a warm smile. "You'll make friends and find love again, here in heaven. It just takes time. In the meantime, why don't you focus on getting settled in and exploring all that heaven has to offer?"

They continued their walk, passing by several more wondrous sights, such as a sparkling lake filled with swans and a small, golden-domed building where the angels gathered for worship and song. As they drew closer to his new home, Emily pointed out several landmarks, such as the Great Hall where they held feasts and celebrations, and the Garden of Eternal Life, where the souls of the most virtuous mortals resided.

Finally, they arrived at a small, cozy abode nestled among the clouds. It had a thatched roof, ivy-covered walls, and a door made of oak. White flowers climbed up the sides, and a stream meandered nearby, its waters sparkling in the sunlight.

"This is your new home," Emily announced with a smile. "It's not as grand as some of the others, but it's perfectly suited to your needs."

Angel stepped up to the front door, running his fingers over the smooth, polished wood. He felt a sense of both familiarity and unease washing over him. On one hand, it was comforting to have a place to call his own again; on the other, he couldn't help but wonder if he would ever truly belong here.

"Go ahead and open it," Emily urged, her voice gentle. "Your belongings are inside."

He hesitated for a moment, then reached out and turned the brass knob. 

The door swung inward, revealing a cozy living room with a fireplace, a comfortable-looking couch, and a few framed photographs on the mantelpiece. Sunlight streamed in through the windows, casting a warm glow over everything.

"This is your bedroom," Emily said, leading him further into the house. 

The bedroom was smaller than the one he had on Earth, but it had everything he needed: a bed, a dresser, a nightstand, and a few personal effects that had been brought over from his old life. There was also a large window overlooking the garden, where the roses swayed gently in the breeze.

Emily showed him around the rest of the house, including a small kitchen, a study where he could read and write, and a bathroom with a clawfoot tub. 

"You can explore more of heaven whenever you like," she assured him, "but for now, I think you should get settled in and rest. Tomorrow will be a big day, because it'll mark the start of paradise!!"

Angel nodded, feeling both grateful and overwhelmed. "Thank you, Emily. You've been so kind to me." He hesitated before asking, "Will I see you again soon?"

Emily smiled reassuringly. "Oh, you'll see me around from time to time," she said.

 "I'm always nearby if you need anything. Just call out for me and I'll be there." She patted him gently on the shoulder. "Now, why don't you unpack your belongings and get settled in? The sooner you do that, the sooner you can start exploring heaven properly."

He watched her fade away, leaving him alone in his new home. As he wandered from room to room, he couldn't help but marvel at the beauty of everything around him. 

It was so peaceful....so serene….a utopia, even.

If only he had someone to share it with. 

Angel gripped his chest as his breathing picked up. He stumbled over to the bed and sat down on it, tugging on his cheeks in hopes of catching his breath.

Tears formed in his eyes as he quietly sobbed into his hands.

He was gone.

Would he ever see him again?

That thought echoed through Angel's mind like a solemn dirge, a never-ending refrain that drowned out all other possibilities. He had been so focused on the idea of finally finding a place to belong that he had momentarily forgotten the weight of his loss.

His chest ached with an unbearable emptiness, and tears welled up in his eyes once more as he stared at the pictures on his bedside table. There was one in particular that always made him ache: Husk, his Husk, standing tall and proud, his smile radiant and infectious. The memory of their life (well-- afterlife) together flooded his mind, and for a moment, he could almost feel the warmth of Husk's fur against his own.

He had been so sure that he would see him again, that they would be reunited in whatever came next. But now, as he sat in his new, unfamiliar home, he realized that hope had been nothing more than a flickering candle in the darkness. It had flickered and died, leaving him alone with the harsh reality of his situation.

Angel clutched at his hair, pulling at the roots in a futile attempt to ease the pain. He wanted to scream, to rage against the heavens for taking Husk away from him. But he knew that wouldn't bring him back, and so he remained silent, tears streaming down his face.

He couldn't do this. 

Not without Husk.

｡ﾟ•┈꒰ა ♡ ໒꒱┈• ｡ﾟ

Angel shook his head. This isn't a time to let his mind wander. For now, he had to focus on what was important.

Finding Molly.

The arachnid finally approached the winner's resource building.

"This is it..." he spoke aloud, a hand coming up to lightly caress his stomach.

It was a habit. At first, he resented the thing, but overtime he had grown to love it. His bambino. His little love. His spark of hope.

Even with Husk not here, with Molly by his side, he would be just fine.

Angel exhaled, quickly pulling out his compact mirror to observe the state of himself before entering the building.

He was so-- different.

In contrast to how he had looked in hell, at least.

He looked happier, relieved, although his eyes still held the weight of pain. Being separated from his lover also while carrying a child was nothing short of a burden.

Was this punishment?

It couldn't be, people can't be sad in heaven....right?

He closed his compact, looking up to the building once again. 

The Resource Building was where one went to seek guidance or assistance in finding a loved one who had passed away.

 It was a place where angels and other celestial beings would help the lost souls find their way back to heaven or reunite them with their family members.

 It was also a place where Angel had procrastinated going to, afraid of what he might find or what he might lose if he were to confront his past. But today, he had finally mustered up the courage to face his fears and seek out his sister.

As he approached the grand entrance of the Resource Building, its golden doors etched with intricate designs, Angel felt a sudden sense of trepidation wash over him. 

He glanced around, taking in the other souls who had come seeking aid, and noticed that everyone seemed to be giving him peculiar looks. Some openly stared at him, while others tried to pretend they didn't see him at all. He could feel the weight of their judgment pressing down upon him, making him want to turn tail and run. But something inside him, some small spark of determination, refused to let him back down.

He took a deep breath and pushed open the doors, stepping into the hallowed halls of the Resource Building. The air inside was cool and still, carrying with it the scent of burning incense and the faint sound of whispered prayers. The Resource Building was divided into several sections, each dedicated to a different aspect of the afterlife: reunification, guidance, and education, among others. 

Angel made his way through the winding corridors, his steps slow and hesitant, until he finally arrived at the desk where a celestial being sat, ready to assist him.

There sat a cherub, typing away at a computer. She glanced up, peering at him through her thick glasses.

She blinked multiple times. 

She deals with sinners all day, every day. But this one…was like no other.

She cleared her throat. “Erm…sorry. I’ll be right with you-” she let out a nervous chuckle, quickly collecting her papers as she pushed away from her chair, smiling awkwardly. 

Angel raised an eyebrow, but ultimately shrugged it off. 

He watched her scurry away, occupying himself by continuing to observe his surroundings. 

The cherub's desk was tidy, with several framed pictures adorning its surface: one of her with a group of other cherubs, looking like they'd just finished a particularly difficult task; another of her with a human family, beaming proudly at the camera. He wondered how many of the people in the pictures were still alive, if they even remembered her.

As he waited for the cherub to return, Angel allowed his mind to wander. He thought about his time on Earth, the laughter and the tears, the triumphs and the failures. He wondered if Molly had found peace here in heaven. He wondered if she was happy...

Of course she was happy! This is heaven!!

Everyone is happy here…

Eventually, the cherub reappeared, an awkward yet fearful smile plastered on her face.

"Right then..." she began, taking a seat at her desk once again. She glanced up at Angel once more, her gaze falling onto his stomach. She blushed a little, immediately snapping her head down as she began typing.

“Now…what service might you request today?” she didn’t even bother to make eye contact with him.

“Oh! Uhm…I want to find my sister…h-her name is Molly Vittori…” 

The cherub nodded. " Molly..." she mumbled to herself, beginning to type before continuing,

"Yes, she's been through quite an interesting journey, hasn't she?" she paused. "Well, I'm afraid I can't just give out personal information like that. But if you'd like, I can help you locate her. That's what we're here for, after all."

Thomas nodded gratefully, unable to speak past the lump in his throat. 

He watched as the cherub tapped away at her keyboard, her fingers flying across the keys. After a few moments, she turned her monitor towards him. There, on the screen, was a picture of Molly, smiling brightly at the camera. 

Her hair had grown longer and was now sporting different colored pink strands, and she seemed to have gained a certain...peacefulness in her eyes. But it was her nonetheless.

Angel found himself tearing up as he just nodded profusely. "That's....that's her.."

"There you are!" the cherub forced a smile.. "There are people that can help you find her in the Reunification Wing. If you'd like, I can escort you there right away." Angel nodded, a lump forming in his throat as he forced a smile.

They walked through the winding halls of heaven, the cherub leading the way. The air was thick with the scent of flowers and the sound of laughter. People of all shapes and sizes walked past them, some stopping to wave hello or engage in brief conversations-- although once they got a glimpse at Angel, they shied away. 

The cherub, clearly uncomfortable with her task, kept her head down and hurried along.

Finally, they arrived at a set of double doors guarded by two cherubs. The one who had been escorting Angel approached them cautiously. "Uh, hi...I'm here to see someone about...well, I'm here on behalf of this….” she glanced at his stomach once again. “Err- gentleman," she gestured to Angel, "He's looking for his sister."

The two cherubs exchanged glances. "Well, we're a bit busy right now," one of them said dismissively.

"But I really need to find my sister," Angel pleaded, his voice beginning to crack. "Please, she's all I have left."

The second cherub fidgeted uncomfortably. "I'm sorry, but we can't just help everyone who comes along. There's a process, you know."

The first cherub nodded in agreement. "Look, we'll put in a request for you, but we can't make any promises. It might take some time."

The other cherub looked at Angel sympathetically. "I'm really sorry," she murmured.

As they spoke, the doors to the Reunification Wing opened, and a lone figure emerged. It was another cherub, her face etched with a courteous look. 

"Is there someone here about finding a sibling?" she asked, her voice was softer..innocent, even.

The first cherub nodded. "This gentleman is looking for his sister, Molly Vittori."

The cherub sighed. "Well, I suppose I can take a look," she said, glancing at Angel apologetically. "Follow me!"

Angel followed her through the winding halls of the building, feeling a mixture of hope and dread in his chest. 

She led him to a small office tucked away in a quiet corner of the wing. Inside, she moved to her desk, sitting behind it, her face immediately covered by the large stack of papers that was piled on her desk. 

"Oops! Sorry about the mess!" she giggled. "I've been a bit...overwhelmed lately." She cleared her throat and gestured for Angel to sit across from her. "Now, tell me about your sister. What's her name?"

Angel hesitated for a moment, trying to compose himself. "Her name is Molly...Molly Vittori. She...she was the light of my life. We did everything together." He took a deep breath, bringing a hand up to rub small circles onto his stomach.

The cherub began to type on her computer, before glancing at the screen, staring at it for a while, as if she was zoning out.

 "All right," she said, leaning back in her chair. "I'll see what I can do. We have a system here, you see, and sometimes it takes a while to...well, sort through things. But I'll do my best."

Angel felt a surge of hope. "Thank you," he managed to choke out. "Thank you so much."

She leaned back in her chair and began to sort through the papers on her desk, humming under her breath as she worked. 

Angel watched her, his heart in his throat. He couldn't help but feel a sense of hope beginning to flicker within him.

After several minutes of searching, the cherub finally came across a file labeled "Vittori, Molly." She flipped through it quickly, her eyes scanning the pages. "Ah, yes," she murmured. 

"Mollena Louise Vittori-- fraternal twin sister to Anthony Charles Vittori...?" she mused, looking up at Angel.

Angel’s heart leapt into his throat. "Yes! That's her," he practically shouted, his voice echoing in the small office.

She smiled reassuringly. "Well, it looks like you've found each other. She’s currently residing in the Earthly Desires section of heaven. It's a lovely place, filled with people who enjoyed the finer things in life while they were alive...only the purest of winners abide there."

Angel smiled. He knew that she deserved it. 

Despite their...unfortunate upbringing, he was glad that it all paid off in the afterlife. 

She stood up, straightening out her wings, and motioned for Angel to follow her.

As they walked through the winding golden paths of heaven, Angel’s heart pounded with anticipation. The closer they got to the Earthly Desires section, the more he could feel his emotions churning inside him.

"Are you alright?" Angel looked over to see the cherub, with a concerned demeanor.

"I...I think so," he stammered. "It's just...I never thought I'd see her again. It's overwhelming….I mean..it’s been, what? Decades, now."

She smiled. “Reuniting is a wonderful thing! Seeing families come together after time apart is…uplifting.”

She paused, frowning a little, before sighing, plastering her smile back onto her face. 

They reached the entrance to the Earthly Desires section, a grand archway adorned with gold and precious gems. Light spilled out from within, illuminating a lush garden filled with trees heavy with fruit, sparkling fountains, and winding paths that disappeared into the distance. In the center of the garden stood a beautiful mansion, its walls covered in vines bearing ripe grapes and its windows framed by sheer curtains that danced in the warm breeze.

The cherub led Angel behind a wall that had vines growing up to the top of the massive structure, shining green, a stark contrast to the greyish-white of the walls. 

The cherub paused, taking a deep breath. "There she is…" she said softly, pointing towards a deck that had many tables, although all were unoccupied except one.

There she was, as beautiful as the day he left her.

"You can go in and find her whenever you're ready." Angel was snapped out of his daydream by the cherub’s voice. 

Angel took a tentative step forward, his heart pounding in his chest. He glanced back at the cherub, searching for some reassurance in her eyes. "Are you sure?" he asked, his voice barely audible.

She smiled gently. "Of course I'm sure," she replied. "Go on, Angel!” 

With shaking hands, he turned back to face the garden. He forced his legs to carry him forward, taking one step from behind the wall, before drawing himself back in, pressing his back to the wall. 

“What do I say?!” he snapped his head towards the cherub, who let out a polite chuckle.

“Start with a ‘hello’!!”

The cherub winked at him, giving a soft smile and a thumbs-up of encouragement. “Now, off you go!!” 

Angel returned the gesture with a smile, as he exhaled, preparing himself for the moment that he had anticipated for a very long time.

He rounded the corner of the building, as he took slow and hesitant steps towards the table that Molly and her friends had currently occupied.

He smoothed down his blazer, tsking as he ran a hand over his now-significantly-larger bump.

What would she have to say about it? 

Would she think any different about him after finding out?

What if she calls him a slut?!

No…she wouldn’t do that.

Oh, she’s leaving.

Angel shook his head, snapping out of his trance. He looked up to see Molly and her friends scooting their chairs back towards the table as they began to grab their things.

It’s now or never.

“Molly!” Angel called out, quickening his pace to a small sprint.

The arachnid turned around, her thick mane of hair swaying along with the motion. 

“Molly,” he repeated, finally catching up to her. He paused for a moment, trying to catch his breath. He examined her from head to toe. 

Her hair, now white with the occasional pink strand, was styled in the same fixture that she had always worn when she was alive. She wore a pink and red dress, the color scheme matching those of Angel’s. 

Bright and sparkly magenta eyes raised up to meet mismatched pink and black ones. 

“Molly Vittori,” he breathed, the name felt so good on his tongue. 

“Yep! That’s me!!” she beamed, flashing a smile that was enough to make Angel forget about all of his past struggles. 

Angel exclaimed in delight, immediately pulling her into a hug. This caused her to giggle, squeezing him back.

“Hello hugs are simply the best!!” she broke the hug, still clasping onto his forearm. Her gaze fell onto his stomach, causing her to let out a delighted gasp.

“Oh, and you’re expecting too! A whole new life is inside of you…my best congratulations!!” 

Molly removed one hand from Angel’s arm as she moved it to his stomach, giving it a gentle rub. 

Angel sniffled, his smile never fading as he wiped away a few of his tears.

“Yeah..I’ll..get into that later. It’s a long story.” 

He paused, looking into her eyes once again, before grabbing her shoulders with his top set of arms, melting into her embrace.

“God, I missed ya so much, Molls! I’ve got so much to tell ya…” 

He expected something similar in return, but was confused as his sister raised an eyebrow.

“What do you mean? You can’t miss anyone here!! Everyone is happy and content in heaven!” she exclaimed, her smile remaining as Angel’s faded.

This earned him a few suspicious glances from Molly’s friends.

“Uhm..” Angel removed his hand from her shoulders, moving one up to rub the back of his head awkwardly. “Molly? I-I’m a little confused.”

She blinked at him, puckering her lip as she tsked.

“Oh..i’m sorry, I don’t really understand what you mean-!”

“Molly, it’s me. Ang- Anthony. Anthony Vittori. Your brother??” 

She giggled. “I don’t have a brother! Nice joke!! But it is nice to meet you, Anthony!” 

Angel’s heart dropped to the depths of his stomach, as he let out a distressed chuckle.

“Wha-- what do ya mean, Molls? I ain't jokin’! Don’t you remember? We-- we were together for the longest time! You, me, and Nissy. T’was a long time ago?” he paused, before continuing, a small sweat starting to form on his brow.

“I had gone to hell-- went cold turkey, dropped everything! Just fa you!!” his voice cracked, as he became a bit more desperate. He reached out and grabbed Molly’s wrist.

Molly’s two friends, a butterfly and an antelope, exchanged weird looks with each other, before the butterfly took a step closer to the two.

She grabbed onto Molly’s other hand, and gave her a small tug in the opposite direction.

“Watch out Molly. That’s that sinner who got rehabilitated.” Molly turned towards her friend, raising an eyebrow in confusion. “Don’t you remember? The Seraphim were talking about him?”

Molly’s mouth shaped into an ‘O’ as she nodded, looking back at Angel. 

“You probably have me confused for someone else! I’d love to be friends, though!!” She smiled again, this time softer.

Both Molly’s friend and Angel blinked at her, their mouth’s agape in shock.

“Moll, he’s clearly talking crazy, we should stay away.”

Another tug at the hand. 

Angel tightened his grip around Molly’s wrist.

“Ya know, I can hear you.” he glared at the butterfly, who just rolled her eyes.

“I promise, Molly, please just remember!! It’s me, Anthony! It’s me!!” Angel turned back towards Molly, and exclaimed a bit more desperately this time. 

The butterfly angel gave yet another tug at Molly’s hand, causing her wrist to slip out of Angel’s grip as she was beginning to get escorted away. 

“Dammit, Molly, it’s me!” he hissed, stumbling over his own feet as she was yanked away from him. 

Molly’s other companion, the antelope, appeared next to  Molly, gently taking her hand. 

“You oughtta keep your distance, Molly.” she pressed a hand to her back as she gave Angel a quick, judgemental glance. “He seems to still have the hatred and fury inside of his heart-- probably a result of his time down there..” she grimaced.

“Not to worry, though. We’ll keep you safe.” the butterfly glared at Angel, before turning her gaze back to Molly. 

Angel snorted, letting out a humorless laugh.

“Keep her safe? From me?!” he giggled again, running a hand through his hair. 

“The fucks you are! That’s some bullshit right there.” he pointed a finger directly at the two, frowning.

“To even have the thought that I would lay a hand on my own sister?! Get the fuck outta here, man! I love ha’ more than any other bastard in this place!!” he began to raise his voice, taking a few steps closer to the three.

“M-Molls…” he turned his gaze back to Molly, a few tears glistening in his eyes. “I love ya. I really do! It was all fa you…everything! I-i’m clean, I got clean-- it was all fa you…don’t- don’t listen to them, Molly!!” 

He stepped closer to her, reaching out to grab her hand, before the butterfly angel slapped it away. 

“Molly, please!! I’ve crossed hell just to see ya again! Please!!!”

Molly’s companions began walking in the opposite direction, ushering Molly along with them.

“Molly!!!” Angel cried out, throwing out a hand as a few tears began to roll down his cheeks. 

The arachnid looked back over her shoulder, offering a small, yet confused smile along with a shug, before turning back around, being forced to proceed down the path her friends had guided her down.

“Molly!!” he shrieked. It was a horrible sound. One that was laced with decades of pain and suffering. One that was hopeful, but had those hopes crushed. 

He collapsed to the ground, palms pressed firmly to the gold-plated path beneath him.

Between pained sobs and gasps for air, Angel called out again.

“Non lasciarmi! Per favore!! Mi dispiace!! Ti amo!” (Don’t leave me! Please!! I’m sorry!! I love you!) 

Angel stumbled yet again, making an attempt to get up and follow them. It took two attempts-- the first, he had tripped over the heel of his thigh-high boots, falling back over onto the ground, before crawling on all fours until he was able to hoist himself up successfully.

He began to follow them, before a bright light was shown, and two elder angels created a barrier in between the two groups.

They had sensed the situation, and quickly intervened before anything could escalate. After all, it was heaven-- nothing bad or undesirable was supposed to happen!

….in public.

Angel tries to push past one of the angels, but is caught by two gentle, yet strong arms restraining him. 

He threw his hand out, reaching out to his sister’s silhouette, which was just now starting to disappear into the distance.

“Non lasciarmi…” (Don’t leave me…) he sobbed, lowering his arm as his knees buckled. He dug his nails into the elder angel’s arms, as it held onto him, wrapping Angel into a secure hug as it guided him to sit on the ground. 

Angel, through eyes blurred by tears, looked past the angel’s legs, as he saw his sister walk away.

No, no, no!!

She couldn’t walk away.

Not forever.

Not again. 

｡ﾟ•┈꒰ა ♡ ໒꒱┈• ｡ﾟ

Anthony took a long drag of his cigarette, exhaling the fumes as he hummed along to the jazz-like song that was playing on the radio in the corner of the room. 

His humming was brought to a halt as he was interrupted by about a thousand knocks on his front door.

“Si accomodi! Porte aperte..” (Come in! Door’s open..) he chuckled. He listened for the sound of the knob turning, and the squeak of the door.

The clicking and clacking of high heels on the hardwood floor of his apartment only belonged to one person. 

“Hey there, brother!” Molly’s voice sounded as she approached the couch in which Anthony was sprawled across.

Anthony smiled weakly up at her. She was wearing a long, flowing red dress that contrasted sharply with her pale skin and blonde hair. Her eyes were a bright blue, and they seemed to hold a hint of worry as they surveyed the mess that was his apartment.

"Oh, Anthony..." she sighed, shaking her head as she took a seat on the armchair across from him. "You really should clean this place up. It's a disgrace, you know that?"

He shrugged, not meeting her gaze. "Yeah, I know. I'll get to it, Molly. Really." His voice sounded distant, even to his own ears.

Molly reached over and took his hand in hers, giving it a squeeze. "I'm worried about you, Anthony. You've been acting...different lately. You're not yourself."

He forced a laugh, trying to brush off her concerns. "Ah, Molly. You worry too much. I'm fine. Really." He took another long drag of his cigarette, watching the smoke curl up toward the ceiling.

 "Ma wouldn't have stood for this mess. She'd have you scrubbing floors 'til your hands bled if she could see you like this." Molly frowned. 

Anthony was about to take another drag of his cigarette, but stopped, holding the dart in mid air, the stick dangling over his face.

Molly's expression softened. "I know she'd want you to take care of yourself, Anthony. You need to get out of this...habit. You know it's not healthy." Her gaze flickered toward the makeshift bar in the corner of the room, where bottles of the remains of alcohol and empty glasses were scattered about.

He shrugged again, looking away. "It helps me cope, Molly. It's all I've got."

She sighed, her eyes filled with sympathy and understanding. "I know it does, brother. But it's not the answer. There are other ways to cope." She paused, searching for the right words. "We can help you. Together, we can get through this."

Anthony didn't reply. Instead, he reached for another cigarette and lit it with a shaky hand. Molly watched him silently, wishing she could make him see that there was hope, that things could get better. But for now, all she could do was be there for him, however he would allow it.

Molly noticed the soft tunes coming from the radio, and stood up, going over to the device and turning up its volume.

She slid off her coat, and held out a hand to her brother.

"Care to cut a rug (dance)?"

Anthony glanced up at Molly, confusion briefly flickering across his face. "Dance? Now? I don't know, Molls. I..." He trailed off, not quite meeting her gaze. 

Molly smiled gently and took his hand, her touch surprisingly gentle and reassuring. "Come on, Tony. Just for a little while. Let's pretend everything's alright."

He hesitated, then finally nodded. Standing up, he let her lead him over to the makeshift dance floor in the center of the living room. The music was a slow, romantic ballad, and Molly began to move gracefully, guiding his steps with hers.

He followed her lead, trying to match her movements. Her dress swirled around her ankles as they danced, the red fabric brushing against his pants. The air was thick with the scent of her perfume, and he closed his eyes, trying to lose himself in the moment.

As they moved together, Anthony felt a strange sensation in his chest. It was a mix of emotions: sadness, longing, and a tiny flicker of hope. He realized that he had missed this, missed dancing with his sister. It had been so long since they had shared a moment like this, a moment where they were just Tony and Molly, not just siblings, but friends.

"Remember when we used to dance like this all the time?" Molly asked softly, her breath tickling his ear. "Back when we were kids?"

He nodded, unable to speak past the lump in his throat. "Yeah," he managed to croak. "I remember."

They continued to dance, lost in their own memories and the music. Anthony found himself focusing on the rhythm of Molly's heartbeat, the rise and fall of her chest as she breathed. It was a strange sort of comfort, this simple connection, and he clung to it as if it were a lifeline.

Molly suddenly spoke up. “Goodness, Tony! You’re such a dead hoofer (bad dancer)!” Molly giggled, making sure to watch her feet to prevent herself from tripping over her brother’s feet. 

“You ain’t much of a jive bomber (good dancer) yaself!” Anthony snorted.

Molly giggled, her hand on his shoulder guiding him through another turn. "Oh, you're just saying that 'cause you can't dance worth a lick!" she teased, her eyes sparkling with mischief.

As they circled around the living room, Anthony found himself focusing less on his own dancing and more on the way Molly moved against him. There was an ease to her steps, a confidence that he hadn't seen in her since before their mother's death. It made him feel a strange mix of emotions: happiness, sadness, and a sense of longing.

"You know, Tony," she said softly, "it's okay to not be okay. It's okay to feel the way you feel. But you can't let it consume you. You have to keep moving forward, you know?"

He nodded, not trusting himself to speak. He didn't want to let her down, to disappoint her. But he didn't know how to keep going when everything felt so bleak. 

"I'm here for you, you know," she continued. "No matter what. You can talk to me about anything, anytime. And I'll always be here to help you, to support you."

Anthony could only mumble a response, due to the huge lump in his throat. 

Her words hung in the air between them, bringing back memories that Anthony had tried his very hardest to keep locked away.

He suddenly came to a halt in their dance, letting go of his twin as he exhaled shakily.

"No, Molly," he said, his voice barely above a whisper. "I don't need your help. I'm fine." His words were laced with anger and denial, but there was a brittleness to his voice that belied his words.

Molly's face fell, her eyes filling with concern. "Tony, I'm just trying to help," she said softly. "You can't keep going like this. You know that."

He took a step away from her, his jaw clenched tightly. "I'm fine," he repeated, more forcefully this time. "I just need some time."

She bit her lip, watching him warily. She knew he was lying, but she didn't want to push him further away. "Okay," she said finally. "But if you ever need to talk, I'm here. And I'll help you get through this, no matter what."

Anthony didn't respond. Instead, he turned his back on his sister and made his way over to his favorite chair. It was an old, worn recliner that their father had brought home one day, a relic from a different time in their lives.

A better time.

As he settled into the chair, he reached up and ran a hand through his hair, feeling the familiar weight of the situation pressing down on him.

Molly watched him from across the room, her heart aching for her brother. She wished she knew how to make it all better, how to take away the pain that she knew he was feeling. But she knew that sometimes, all you could do was be there for someone, even when they didn't want you to.

With a heavy sigh, Molly turned away and made her way back to the dance floor. As she began to dance solo, she couldn't help but feel a strange mix of emotions: anger at Anthony for pushing her away, fear for his well-being, and an overwhelming sense of helplessness. She knew that she would have to find a way to reach him, to make him see that he wasn't alone.

Meanwhile, Anthony reached into his favorite chair's side table and pulled out a small stash of drugs he had been hiding there. He took a deep breath, steadying himself, before selecting one of the packets and opening it with shaking hands. He brought the white powder up to his nose and inhaled deeply, feeling the familiar rush of warmth spread through his body.

As the drug took effect, some of the tension began to ease from his shoulders. He closed his eyes, trying to forget about Molly and the memories she had unwittingly brought back to the surface.

 He thought about their mother, how much she would hate to see him like this, how she would tell him to stop, to get help. But he couldn't, not yet. He needed this numbness, this escape.

Just as he was beginning to feel a sense of peace, however, the music abruptly stopped. 

Anthony's eyes snapped open, panic rising in his chest. He glanced around, looking for the source of the sound, when he saw Molly standing before him, a look of concern etched onto her face.

"Tony," she said softly, taking a step towards him. "Are you okay?"

Anthony felt his anger rise again, hot and bitter in his throat. "I'm fine," he snapped, trying to sound convincing even to himself. "Just leave me alone."

Molly took another step closer, her expression not wavering. "No, you're not fine," she said, her voice steady and unyielding. "And I'm not going to leave you like this."

The words stung, but  Anthony couldn't bring himself to care. All he could think about was the need for numbness, the escape. He reached for another packet of drugs, already planning his next high. "Just leave me alone," he repeated, more harshly this time. "I don't want your help."

Molly's eyes filled with sorrow as she watched her brother slowly slip further away from her. She knew that he was lying, that he was hurting, but she didn't know how to make him see it. 

"Tony, talk to me..." she placed a hand on his shoulder, in which he immediately jerked away.

"Don't touch me!" he shouted, his eyes blazing. "Don't you dare touch me!"

He didn't know why he had lashed out like that. Maybe it was the drugs?

It was definitely the drugs, but he didn't care.

Molly's heart ached as she saw the pain in his eyes, the desperation to push her away. She knew she had to keep trying, even if it meant risking further rejection.

"Anthony, I'm not here to hurt you," she said softly, taking a step back. "I'm here because I love you, and I'm afraid of what's happening to you."

Her words seemed to have some effect on him; his shoulders slumped, and he looked away for a moment. But then he straightened up again and fixed her with an angry glare.

"I didn't mean that," he said, his voice harsh. "I'm just so tired of losing people. I can't handle it anymore. I can't..." His voice trailed off, and he looked down at the ground.

Molly took a deep breath, trying to steady herself. She knew that he was hurting, and that his anger was a defense mechanism. But she also knew that she couldn't let him continue down this path.

"I know you're hurting, Anthony," she said, her voice gentle but firm. "And I know you're scared. But you can't keep using drugs to numb the pain. It's not going to make things better."

Anthony looked up at her, his eyes red and brimming with tears. "It's the only way I can cope," he whispered.

Molly wanted to reach out to him, to comfort him the way she used to when they were children, but she held back. She knew that he needed to face his demons on his own terms. Instead, she offered him a small, sympathetic smile.

"I understand that," she said. "But I'm here if you ever want to talk, or if you need help. Okay?"

Anthony looked up at her, his eyes red and brimming with tears. He wanted to believe her, to accept her offer of support, but something inside him refused to let him. "I just need..." he started, then trailed off. "I just need some time, Molly. Please, give me some time."

He sighed, pushing himself up from his chair as he went over to his small kitchen, rummaging through the worn-down wooden cabinets until he retrieved a bottle of booze.

"Tony, please..." Molly pleaded, following him and watching as he unscrewed the cap, taking a long swig. The alcohol burned down his throat, and he winced, coughing briefly before taking another gulp.

She wanted to reach out, to take the bottle from him, but she didn't want to make things worse. 

She knew he was in pain, and she wanted to help him, but she didn't know how.

"I'm just so tired, Molly," he said, his voice barely above a whisper. "I can't do this anymore." He took another swig, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. "I just want to forget."

Molly's heart ached at the sight of him, so lost and alone. She wanted to tell him that she'd be there for him, that she'd never leave him, but the words caught in her throat. She didn't know if he'd believe her anymore.

Instead, she took a step closer, reaching out to gently touch his arm. "You don't have to do this, Anthony," she said softly. "You don't have to be alone. We can get through this together."

He looked up at her, his eyes red and glassy. "I don't know if I can, Molly," he said, his voice barely more than a whisper. "I don't know if I want to."

She could feel the weight of his words, the hopelessness that had settled over him like a suffocating blanket. But she refused to give up. She refused to let him give up on them.

"We'll find a way," she said, her voice firm despite the tremor in her voice. "I promise we'll get through this. We'll be okay."

"Dammit, Molls, would ya stop fuckin' saying that?!" he suddenly yelled, swinging the bottle down to his side, its liquid contents swishing about.

She recoiled, her eyes wide with surprise and pain. "Tony... I'm sorry. I didn't mean to..." she stammered, taking a step back.

He looked at her, his expression twisted in anger and self-loathing. "Just... just leave me alone for a while, okay?" he said, his voice barely above a whisper. "I need... I need some time."

Molly's heart ached as she watched him struggle. She wanted to help him, to make it all better, but she knew that he had to find his own way through this darkness. 

"Tony, i-"

"Leave it, Molly." he growled, taking another swig of the drink.

Molly frowned. She didn't want to push him, but if she were to allow this, then he could lose himself. 

That was the last thing either one of them needed. 

She stepped forward, reaching out to grip the neck of the bottle, earning a glare from Anthony.

"Please don't, Tony," she said softly. "You don't need this. You don't want this."

He wrenched the bottle free, his grip tightening until she winced. "Molly, I told you, I need some time alone," he said, his voice low and dangerous. "Just... leave me be."

Her heart ached at the pain and anger in his voice, but she couldn't back down. Not now. She took another step closer, meeting his gaze unflinchingly. "Tony, I can't just leave you like this. I can't watch you hurt yourself like this."

He snorted, looking away for a moment before meeting her eyes again. "What do you want me to do, Molls? Huh? You want me to just forget about it? To move on like it was nothing?" He took another swig of the booze, wincing as it burned its way down his throat.

She winced too, but didn't back down. "I know you can't forget, but you don't have to do this. You don't have to be alone. I'm here for you, Anthony. I'll always be here for you."

He laughed, a harsh, bitter sound that made her heart clench. "Oh, that's real fuckin' comforting, Molls. Thanks for that." He took another step back, moving away from her. "Just... just leave me be, okay? I'll figure it out. I'll get through this."

She wanted to believe him, she really did. But she couldn't help but feel a growing sense of helplessness as he continued to push her away. "I'm sorry," she whispered, taking a step back herself. "I just want to help."

He looked up at her then, his eyes filled with pain and something else - despair. "You can't help me, Molly. No one can." With that, he took another swallow of the booze, disappearing deeper into his own darkness.

Molly's heart ached as she watched him slip further away from her. She wanted to reach out, to pull him back from the edge, but she knew that he had to find his own way out of this darkness. All she could do was be there for him, to let him know that she cared, that she would never leave his side.

"Tony, I-" 

"Leave it, Molly!!" he suddenly shouted, turning around hastily as he hissed at his sister.

Molly flinched, her hand automatically going to her chest where she could feel the sting of the pain he'd unintentionally inflicted. She winced, shocked at his outburst, as he took another swig of the bottle.

He was right, she shouldn't have tried to take the bottle away from him. She should have known better. She should have been more understanding. He was hurting, and she was just making things worse.

She opened her mouth to apologize, to tell him that she understood, but the words stuck in her throat. 

How could she possibly tell him that she understood when she didn't? 

When she couldn't even begin to fathom the depth of his pain?

Anthony took another swig of the booze, his eyes glazing over as he stared into nothingness. Molly could see the tension in his shoulders, the way he was clenching and unclenching his fists, the way he was breathing heavily. He was losing control, slipping deeper into the darkness.

She wanted to help him, but she didn't know how. She wanted to make it better, to take away the hurt, but she knew that she couldn't. All she could do was be there for him, to let him know that she cared, that she wouldn't abandon him.

She took a tentative step forward, reaching out a hand to rest it gently on his shoulder. "Tony, I'm sorry," she whispered. "I didn't mean to hurt you. I just wanted to help."

He turned to face her then, his eyes filled with anger and pain. "You don't understand, Molly. You can't understand." His voice broke, and he looked away, taking another swig of the booze.

She wanted to argue, to tell him that she did understand, that she was there for him, but she knew that he needed to find his own way through this. All she could do was be there, offer what comfort she could, and hope that one day he would be able to see past the darkness and find the light again.

She sighed, knowing that she just couldn't break down his protective walls.

Not now, at least.

She caressed his cheek as she reached up, giving him a kiss. 

"I have to go meet up with Niss...i'll see you tomorrow, Anthony." her voice was solemn, as she had given up. 

The impact of their mother's death took a toll on everyone.

Their father, their older brother, and the twins themselves.

Anthony took the hardest hit.

Their mother had treated him like nobody else (besides Molly) had ever done so before.

She treated his wounds when their father told him to toughen up, she helped him deal with his confusing emotions, she never favored the twin's older brother over any of her other children.

And now, she was gone.

Anthony's grief was as immense as the ocean, as relentless as the waves crashing against the shore. It consumed him, drowning out all other thoughts and feelings. In that moment, as he sat there with the bottle in his hand, Molly's presence was a constant reminder of the pain he was feeling, of the loss that threatened to engulf him.

She tried to help, but he couldn't let her in. Not yet. Not while he was still trying to come to terms with the fact that the one person who had always been there for him was gone.

He took another swig of the booze, feeling the liquid burn its way down his throat. It was a brief respite from the ache in his chest, the tightness in his chest. But he knew it was only temporary. Sooner or later, the pain would return, and he would be left to face it alone.

Molly watched him, her heart breaking all over again. She wished she could take away the pain, but she knew that she couldn't. All she could do was be there for him, to let him know that she cared, that she wouldn't abandon him.

As she turned to leave, she took one last look at her brother, feeling a desperate urge to do something, anything, to help him. But she knew that she couldn't force him to face his feelings, not when he wasn't ready. 

With a heavy heart, she forced herself to walk away, her footsteps echoing through the empty hallway.

In the bedroom, Anthony let out a shuddering breath as the door clicked shut behind Molly. He reached for another bottle, taking a long swig before dropping it back onto the bed. 

The room spun around him, the alcohol and drugs dulling the edge of his grief, if only for a moment. He thought about calling one of his dealers, but he couldn't bear the thought of talking to anyone else, or admitting how much he needed this escape.

He lay back on the bed, staring up at the ceiling, his mind awhirl with memories of their mother. The way she used to sing to him when he was sick, the smell of her perfume, the feel of her hand in his. He missed her so much it physically hurt. He missed the way she'd tease him about his clumsiness, the way she'd make him feel special even when he thought no one else did.

With a groan, he rolled over, burying his face in the pillow. He didn't know how he was supposed to go on without her. It felt like a part of him had died along with her, and he didn't know how to live without that part. 

He closed his eyes, wishing he could just fade away, disappear into nothingness, where the pain wouldn't be so sharp, where he wouldn't have to face the world without her.

The room began to spin, and he realized he'd taken too much. He forced himself to sit up, fighting the nausea that threatened to overwhelm him.

 His head felt like it was about to explode, and his vision was blurry. He reached for a glass of water, but his hand trembled uncontrollably, and he spilled half of it on the bed. He sighed, defeated, and lay back down, staring up at the ceiling.

The memories came flooding back, unbidden and unrelenting.

 The first time she'd held him, the day he'd graduated high school, the way she'd looked at him when he'd told her his dreams. He could hear her voice in his head, her laughter echoing through the empty room.

 He wanted nothing more than to be able to talk to her again, to ask her for advice, to tell her how much he missed her. But he knew that was impossible.

He reached for another bottle, unscrewing the cap with shaking hands. 

The sweet smell of alcohol filled the air, and he took a long swallow, feeling the liquid burn its way down his throat.

 It was the only thing that seemed to drown out the voice in his head, the one that kept repeating the words "I'm sorry, Anthony, I'm so sorry." He closed his eyes, trying to block it out, but it was no use.

He couldn't help but think back to Molly. He had watched her walk away, her heels clicking against the floor until they were heard no more. 

His world spun.

It spun like never before.

He was no stranger to getting high, but this was different. 

Eventually, the darkness consumed him, the last thing he'd ever see was the sight of his dear sister, who only wanted to help, walking away after he had hurt her. 

｡ﾟ•┈꒰ა ♡ ໒꒱┈• ｡ﾟ

Angel was a mess of sobs as he was restrained. He just melted into the angel’s arms as he sank to the ground.

He let go of his death-grip on the elder angel, bringing his hands to his face as he pressed his eyes into the palms of his hands, continuing to wail. 

Through sobs, he brought his head up to see another elder angel-- along with the one that had blocked Angel’s path, holding out a hand for Angel to latch onto.

He just stared at the hand, before shaking his head profusely, slowly sliding away from the two angels as he turned around, once again tripping over his own feet as he tried to get away from the angels.

Angel ducked behind the wall that he had come from previously, immediately sinking back to the ground once he was shielded from the stares of the elder angels. 

The cherub had noticed him, and flew over, puckering her lip as she frowned.

“I suppose it didn’t go so well..?” she hesitantly asked.

“What’s ya first fuckin’ clue, sherlock?!” Angel screeched, turning towards the cherub with tear-stained fur.

She flinched, taking a step back as she raised her clipboard slightly, in a manner of self-defense.

“I’m sorry ....I…thought you knew that-” she paused, preventing herself from saying anymore.

“What?!” Angel exclaimed, still heaving.

“Err--- what’s the best way to explain this..” she mumbled to herself. “Family, or-- anyone in relation to a soul in question-- if they aren’t sent here after they die, then all memories of said person will disappear from the winner’s mind.” 

The cherub averted Angel’s gaze, as he continued to sob.

“And you….you….you wouldn’t think to tell me that beforehand?!?” Angel resisted the urge to reach out and choke the creature.

“I-i’m sorry…” she backed away once more, and tsked. “Is there anything that I can do to help?” 

This only earned herself a glare from Angel.

Before he could respond though, a flash was seen, before the two elder angels from before appeared again.

Angel glanced up to them.

“Do not be afraid..” the one closest to Angel said, lifting his hands in innocence. 

“We have not come to hurt you..just to have a word, if you would allow it, Mr. Vittori.” he smiled down at Angel, who just cowered on the ground.

Angel continued to hyperventilate, shaking his head.

“No…no….just…get away from me-!” Angel stood up, stumbling a little bit. The angel held out a hand to help him up, but Angel ignored it as he spread his wings, taking off.

He flew away from the cherub and the two elder angels, not wanting to be near them anymore. The wind whipped through his fur as he soared, tears streaming down his face. He didn't know where to go or what to do.

His mind was a mess of conflicting emotions: anger, hurt, betrayal, and confusion. He couldn't understand why the humans had done this. They were supposed to be the good ones, the ones who cared about others. But they had abandoned him, just like everyone else in his life.

Angel finally landed under a tree, in an endless field of beautiful flowers of all different colors, shapes, and sizes. 

He sat down on the soft, green grass, and buried his face in his hands, trying to muffle his sobs. 

He tucked his knees to his chest as far as they could go with the extra weight creating a blockage. Burning his face into his knees, he brought his lower set of hands up to wrap around his stomach. 

“Guess it’s just you and me now, kid.” he sniffled.

 “I’m so fuckin’ sorry…” he managed, before beginning to sob once more. 

｡ﾟ•┈꒰ა ♡ ໒꒱┈• ｡ﾟ

Days later, Angel was awoken by pounding on his door.

Angel sighed, rubbing his eyes. He knew whoever it was wouldn't take kindly to being kept waiting. 

He swung his legs over the edge of his bed and stood up, stretching his wings.

Being forced to come out of his depression-like state already put Angel in a bad mood. Albeit, deep down, he knew he needed the exercise. With a baby on the way, he couldn’t just laze around all day. 

 Angel reached the door and paused for a moment, taking a deep breath to calm his raging emotions. 

With all that was happening, Angel was in a shut-down mode. 

 With a growl, he yanked the door open, revealing the cherub, her wings wrapped around her body in a defensive posture. Angel groaned at the sight of her, and immediately made a move to shut the door, before the cherub stuck her hand in the crack between the door and the wall, exclaiming:

“Wait! Please, hear me out…”

"You'd better have a damn good reason for why I should forgive you," he snarled, his eyes burning into hers. "Because if you think you can just apologize and all is forgiven, you're dead wrong." 

The cherub trembled visibly, her lower lip quivering as she tried to find the words to explain herself. But before she could say anything, Angel cut her off. 

“I worked so damn hard to get here, been through alla that shit, just ta find her. You could’ve at least had the damn courtesy to tell me that she wouldn’t fuckin’ remember me!” he pointed a finger towards her, causing her to take a step back.

She exhaled. “Angel, I- I know it hurts, and i’m so sorry that I didn’t tell you, but you-- you have to understand, whe-”

Angel cut her off with a growl. "No,you don't get it. You don't get to decide that for me. I've been through hell and back ta find her, and you just took it all away with one stupid mistake." He leaned in, his eyes boring into hers. 

“I-”

“Shut the fuck up!!” he had yelled louder than he intended to, but in this moment, he didn’t care. 

The cherub flinched at his outburst, her wings pressing tighter against her body. 

Tears welled up in her eyes as she took another step back, bumping into the door behind her. She lowered her head, her voice barely more than a whisper as she spoke. "I-I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you so angry. I just wanted to protect her--- protect you! I didn't know what else to do."

Angel felt a pang of guilt, but that didn’t stop him. 

“Like fuck you had my best interest in mind!” 

Angel's voice was a low growl, his wings shifting restlessly behind him as he took a step closer to the trembling cherub. "You should've just left me alone. If you'd just let me find her and leave, none of this would've happened."

The cherub looked up, her tear-filled eyes meeting his. "I couldn't just do that, Angel. I couldn't let you- hurt her again!”

Angel flinched, before firing back. 

"You don't know what I was going to do," he snarled. "You don't know what I wanted." He took another step closer, looming over her. "But I think you should be worried about what I'm going to do now."

The cherub swallowed hard, her throat feeling tight and raw. "You- you can't just hurt me, Angel. I'm only trying to protect her."

He let out a humorless laugh. "Protect her? Is that what you call it? You're lucky I don't think you deserve any better than this, or I'd rip your little wings off right now." His eyes narrowed as he studied her face, searching for any sign of fear or guilt. 

“You don’t fuckin’ know the pain I went through to get here! All that shit I had to endure down there! And it fuckin’ sucks up here too! This’ supposed to be the happiest place on earth?! Fuck you all!!” Angel took a step forward, causing the cherub to flinch, raising her clipboard over her face for protection.

This caused Angel to stop, losing his snarl as he just stared at the cherub.

This scene felt all too familiar. 

｡ﾟ•┈꒰ა ♡ ໒꒱┈• ｡ﾟ

TW: Valentino. Need I say more? Skip to the next page divider if you’re uncomfortable!!

“Val, I-”  

Angel was cut off by a brisk slap to the face. 

Valentino trudged over to Angel, barely leaving him time to recover as he picked him up once again, this time via Angel’s dressing gown, as he shoved his star actor up against a wall.

The overlord brought his bottom set of arms up, and took his cigar, tracing a pattern of smoke in the air that formed to become a chain. The smoke wrapped around the arachnid’s neck. His top two arms remained on Angel’s neck as they continued to press him up against the wall. 

“You think just because you’re my favorite whore that you can do whatever you fucking please?!” 

Another slap to the face.

“Val. Please, I wasn’t trying to- agh!” he grunted as he was thrown across the room, colliding with a table in the process. 

The spider tried standing up, but that only resulted in stumbling, until Val yanked him by the robe once more, tugging him closer. 

"Please, just let me explain!!" 

Valentino had no intent of doing that, and picked him up by the robe collar, dragging him over to the couch, slamming him down on it.

"Do you even know how much money I could’ve lost because of you?!" he yelled, his face turning beet red with anger. "And then you have the nerve to try and beg for another chance?"

Angel, still stunned, couldn't bring himself to respond. His boss's words were like a knife to the heart, and he couldn't help but feel a lump forming in his throat. He wished he could just disappear, vanish into thin air, but instead, he found himself trapped in this living nightmare.

Valentino, on the other hand, seemed to take some sort of twisted pleasure in Angel’s misery. He leaned in closer, his breath hot and foul in the man's ear. 

"You know what? I think I'll make an example of you. I'll make sure everyone in this company knows what happens to people who mess up as badly as you did."

Angel felt a shiver run down his spine as he heard those words. He knew there was no point in protesting anymore. There was no one he could turn to for help, no one who would believe him if he told them what had really happened. He was all alone in this world, and it felt like everything was slipping away from him.

Valentino stood up, towering over Angel. 

With a snap of the fingers, he instantly summoned the familiar golden contract.

The stupid, stupid contract.

“Now, let’s see…” Valentino smirked, skimming over the contract. “How about…3 more decades onto your contract?”

Angel’s eyes widened. “Val! That-- I-”

He was met with another slap. 

No, you don't get to speak! You don't get to argue!" his boss spat, the words dripping with venom. "You're nothing but a worthless piece of trash, and I'm going to make sure everyone knows it!"

The man could feel his face burning with shame, tears stinging the back of his eyes. He wanted nothing more than to disappear, to vanish from existence, to never have to see this man's cruel face again. But he knew that wasn't an option. Not anymore.

Valentino leaned in closer to Angel. “You have no control. You’re merely a pawn in my game. You are nothing.”

He summoned the chain again, and pulled Angel closer to him.

“You’re just a toy-- don’t forget that.”

｡ﾟ•┈꒰ა ♡ ໒꒱┈• ｡ﾟ

She just cowered in fear, as Angel took a step backwards. 

He couldn’t form words. He was just-- shocked.

How could he stoop this low?

Inflicting the pain that he had felt for decades onto another person? Who wanted to help him, for goodness sake. 

What was he doing?!

Angel's mind reeled as he tried to process the situation. He couldn't believe that he had just reacted so violently. He had never meant to hurt her; he had only wanted to protect himself. But in that moment, it had all spiraled out of control.

He took a deep breath, trying to calm his racing heart and steady his shaking hands. When he looked up again, he saw the tears streaming down her face. He had never meant for her to suffer like this.

 "I'm sorry," he murmured, his voice barely audible over the thunderous beating of his heart. "I didn't mean for this to happen."

Angel looked down at both sets of hands, all four hands trembling. 

The cherub couldn’t even bother to look at him, as she just quickly got up and flew away.

Angel had half a mind to go after her. 

No.

She didn’t deserve it.

Instead of just being honest and telling him the truth, she didn’t and now he was hurt.

Angel tried to use his self-pity as an excuse, but knew deep down that he was in the wrong.

He didn’t care.

Not anymore.

Heaven wasn’t worth it if he wasn’t happy.

If his happiness was in hell.

With Husk.

With Charlie.

Vaggie, even.

Anything was better than being here, where not even his own sister remembered him.

He was going back, no matter what it takes. 

｡ﾟ•┈꒰ა ♡ ໒꒱┈• ｡ﾟ

Usually, when you’re faced with a collection of heaven-- no, creation's most powerful beings, you would be scared.

…Right?

That wasn’t the case. 

Normally, this would cause any (normal) person to shit themselves.

In Angel’s situation, he was too broken to even care.

He looked around the room.

The room was vast and ornate, adorned with the finest materials money could buy. The throne at the head of the chamber was empty, the weight of its importance palpable in the air. A grandiose painting of a great battle hung on the far wall, the celestial beings depicted within showing off their power and majesty. 

But Angel wasn't paying attention to any of that.

Instead, he focused his gaze onto the boxes that were positioned at an altitude that held the various members of the heavenly council. 

Sera peered down at him from the highest box, her face a display of both disappointment, and shame. 

"So," Angel drawled, "You’re here to tell me I'm a monster?"

One of the lesser-ranked members of the council cleared his throat. "We do not believe that you are a monster, Angel," he said carefully. "But we are concerned about your recent behavior."

Angel snorted. "What, you mean the fact that I've been angry because every one of those goddamned angels shit on me like I've got polio?!” 

The council exchanged glances. One of them cleared his throat. "You have... acted in ways which have brought harm to those around you," he said carefully. "We believe that you need time to reflect on your actions and find a way to move forward."

"Oh, that's rich," Angel scoffed. "You're talking about the same bunch that cast me out like I'm some sort of leper? The same ones who made sure every other angel knew I was a freak? Yeah, I'm sure you're just looking out for my best interests."

The room fell silent for a moment. Angel could feel their eyes boring into him, weighing him up, trying to decide what to do with him. 

He let out a bitter laugh. "What, you're gonna send me back to hell? Go a-fucking-head!!"

Sera  leaned forward in her throne-like chair. 

"Angel," she said, her voice calm and measured, "we understand that your time in Hell has left you scarred. But you must understand that your actions have consequences. You cannot simply lash out at those around you without considering the effects of your words and deeds."

Angel scoffed. "What do you know about it?" he spat. 

"You guys get to sit up here on your pretty little thrones, looking down on everyone like you're better than us. Well, news flash, bitch: we're all just as fucked up as each other."

Her expression didn't change, but her eyes narrowed slightly. "That may be true," she said slowly, "But it does not give you the right to inflict pain upon others.” 

Angel rolled his eyes, crossing his arms over his chest. 

She continued, "Never in all my years of serving heaven's council have I  encountered such defiance. Angel, you must understand that the life you once knew is gone. You can either choose to accept that and find a new purpose, or you can continue down this path of self-destruction. It is your choice."

Angel snorted. "Oh, please. Spare me the fucking platitudes. You think I don't know that my life is over? You think I give a shit about finding some new purpose?" 

He leaned forward, his voice low and dangerous. "You might as well just send me back to hell right now, because that's where I belong. With the rest of the rejects and the damned."

Sera’s expression hardened. 

"We have given you a choice, Angel. You can either accept our help and work with us to find a new purpose, or you can continue down this path of self-destruction. The choice is yours." She snapped, instantly summoning a golden sheet of paper.

A contract, to be exact. 

Angel snorted derisively as the golden parchment floated down to him, settling on the table in front of him. 

After Valentino, he had sworn to never sign a contract again.

But despite himself, he found his fingers twitching towards the paper, drawn irresistibly to the spot where his name was to be written, waiting for him to make his mark

The lead angel watched him warily, her expression unreadable. "Angel," she began, her voice gentle but firm, 

"You should reconsider. Not only are you harming yourself with this decision, you are also taking a new burden-- this one to be put upon your child.” she motioned down to his stomach, causing his lower arms to come up and wrap around the swell.

He looked up at her, his eyes hard “Well it’s my fuckin’ choice.” 

Sera gripped the railing of the balcony that she was seated on. "A foolish one at that!"

Her words echoed through the throne room, causing the other angels in attendance to shift uncomfortably in their seats.

 The tension was palpable as they waited to see what Angel would do next. He glanced up at her, his eyes narrowing. 

“Fuck it.”

Then, with a sigh that seemed to come from the depths of his soul, he reached out and took the golden quill that had appeared next to the contract.

Angel's hand shook slightly as he signed his name at the bottom of the contract. 

Once he finished his signature, a portal suddenly opened, causing a rush of wind to sweep through the throne room. 

Angel's wings, now free from their restraints, disintegrated with a powerful snap, their snowy feathers fading in the ethereal light. His halo fell to the floor in a quiet clatter. Angel stared at it, before looking back up at Sera. 

She peered down menacingly at him, before turning her nose up.

“I hope you’re satisfied with your decision, Anthony..”

｡ﾟ•┈꒰ა ♡ ໒꒱┈• ｡ﾟ

Damn.

I didn't know I was capeable of writing that much.

(Also, took me a second because my tumblr crashed, LOL.)

Took me about 2 months, although I crammed about 7k words in like, 3 days (And I didn't forget about it, YOU DID!!)

As I said, this was a little gift for my friends @scribbsyscribs and @boldlygreatsuit!!

This fanfiction was based of of Scribssy's story: When You're With Me, on A03!! This story is based of of Boldly's Alternate Universe: when-your-long-lost-partner-shows-up-at-your-doorstep-and-is-heavily-pregnant (LOL, I made that up.)

Anyways, I hope you enjoyed this! Took me forever to write and i'm so proud of myself for formatting and editing and beta(ing??) it all by myself. And I didn't procrastinate. So yay!!

Thanks for reading!!

Word Count: 13661 (DAMNNN)

[a-mag-a-day]

MAG 6: Squirm, my beloved! (oh god, am I the only one?? Insert The Survivor Gabon gif here) - stiiiill hand-sewing the tie XD

That episode felt like it's getting me hooked big time. Somehow I still only sporadically listened after that, I had a lot going on… I have a weird relationship with monster-body horror. Like it makes me wanna cheer on whatever the fuck is happening. So my general reaction when Harriet exploded into worms was "Hell yeah!". I also gotta say, the way it's written makes it extremely cool. The sudden pain finally announcing that it's gonna happen now! And then the sound, cracking and yet wet and after that silence. Then we get a short "breather" to stretch that anticipation by telling us, what Timothy Hodge saw was so horrible, he sat his flat on fire. And only then, finally, the description, of what the bedroom (and Harriet) looked like.

"I mean, we had sex." Yikes...

The thing is, this is absolutely not a new concept for a horror story. All the other episodes had such unique concepts or a very unique twist to it. This episode was so simple though and there are a lot of horror works on parasites, Alien and it's sequels and spin offs, The Faculty, Slither, Cloverfield had it briefly! Dreamcatcher, The Bay, Bite, The Mist briefly in the spider scene (The Mist also kinda pulls off the cosmic horror in a visual medium despite showing a lot of monsters) etc. And despite being a well explored topic I absolutely love this episode. I like the creeping (ha!) pace of the foreboding signs that this is about parasites. The episode title, Harriet's dancing style being described as "writhe", the scratching, something moving under the dress of the person who then attacked and stabs Harriet without leaving a wound. Anticipation plays a big part in this statement and it delivers!

Cinematic in the worst kind of way (respectful)

[near-dareis-mai]

Spoilers for The Stars Are Legion by Kameron Hurley

Overall verdict:

- Extremely cool worldbuilding, and while I enjoyed the weird ass world as something that's taken by the characters as a given, I wouldn't mind a sequel that explores the origin of how the whole ships-that-are-worlds-taken-over-by-cephalophod-parasites came about. (Dyson spheres gone cthulhu-ically wrong?)

- To tie in with the above, more clarity on exactly why Zan wanted to get out of the Legion? The book works as a mystery working to the conclusion that she wants to get out, but I'd like to know exactly why, given that Zan's arm apparently has the power to heal ships/worlds, so you'd think the smarter thing would be to. stay. and heal the other ships/worlds in the Legion, especially in tandem with Jayd/Rasida's world-bearing womb thingy. I thought this was laying crumbs for a sequel but apparently not?

- Some incredible - maybe unintentional? it's hard to gauge in first person narratives - unreliable narrator stuff going on here with Jayd trying to convince me she's a mastermind and that Rasida is insane, when her entire PoV is about? Not anticipating some pretty obvious betrayals and twists? And having to depend on characters like Sabita to get things going? And Rasida (while despicably evil) is not doing stuff that's any worse than anything Jayd or Zan did, so I was unconvinced by the narrative trying to get me to take sides to support Zan and Jayd's cause in this. Maybe if the story had gone more into why Zan would save the Legion by leaving it, I could have bought it more.

- Main character kinda felt flat for me. Zan fell into the usual pitfall that amnesiac main characters fall into of being flat and uncompelling. It got especially tiring when Jayd/others would go on and about how cool the non-amnesiac version of her used to be. Jayd is compelling once I started viewing her through the "unreliable narrator" lens, and Rasida is interesting, but not compelling as final villain material. I just didn't care about all the side characters of Zan's plot because I. didn't care about Zan or Zan's pov.

- Sabita had some cool fucking moments though, I kinda wish she got more time at the forefront, and a bit more of a shoutout from the narrative that she was the one who saved the day in the Jayd PoV plot thruline, and not really Jayd herself.

- Apparently the author hadn't figured out Zan and Jayd's past relationship until two months before the book was due and perhaps that's why? the relationship just didn't land for me? I bought into Rasida and Jayd's (doomed and toxic) relationship bc we're given enough crumbs throughout the book of them knowing each other since they were kids and wanting each other in various ways and knowing/admiring of each other's exploits over the years, etc. With Zan and Jayd, so much of the past relationship itself has to be hidden until the end as a mystery box, and then glossed over because of the greater mystery box reveal of Zan and Jayd's plan, that I wasn't really super devastated when they decided not to stay together at the end. I think I was supposed to be sad over their great undying romance not coming out right, and I just. wasn't.

- I struggled a lot with the first person present tense narration. I'm not even militantly against the choice in general, but in this specific instance, it felt like it made the prose much weaker than it would otherwise have been. Stuff like "I, too, can smile like a villain." just sounds so much worse in first person narrative

- Still enjoyed it enough to do a couple rereads to understand what was happening

- I definitely came away knowing I wanted to read more stuff by Kameron Hurley, because the insanely creative worldbuilding and women being allowed to be batshit evil trumps a lot of the writing/characterization drawbacks for me.

[ficsnroses]

𝑯𝒊𝒔 - 𝐉𝐨𝐡𝐧𝐧𝐲 𝐒𝐢𝐥𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐅𝐚𝐧𝐟𝐢𝐜

johnny silverhand x fem! V [reader]. 

summary : johnny and you both want this, a physical exchange to feel relief. 

warnings : smut, nsfw. rough unprotected sex. swearing. 2.5k words. no spoilers other than johnny’s status.

notes : something new! next to zero plot, just some good ol fucking each other’s brains out smut. I had a lot of fun writing this, might write some more fics for him if readers are interested. enjoy! feedback appreciated as always. also! i’d love to read some johnny fics if you have recommendations :)

She’s slipping away, day by day by day.

Exhilarating, exhausting. The steps under her feet hurt, they mock. With each dragged, littered breath trudged out her lips, she crumbles. Crumbles in what feels as if the boneyard of a dream; the debris of a reverie.

She hurts, she needs relief. Something temporary to match what swills inside.

Relief that would come in something more than amber kissed crystal glasses, something stronger than the wash of bitter liquor searing down her throat. Alcohol feats in her head- but so does he.

He feats in her head, he’s taking over. Day by day, by day.

“Hey highness, why don’t you make yourself useful and get more smokes.”

His voice comes in loud barrels, thuds of lightening that crash in her veins. It’s sharp, pronounced. Gravelly, a contrast, disparity to her quieter, mellower one- one that caused a ruckus to be heard for the entirety of her being, to be remembered.

Yet, it hadn’t gotten her far. She’d been far from what she’d dreamt.

       Her voice, her quiet, broken voice that plead to be heard.

He stands crisp, muscled back brave against the cold metallic wall. Broken drags and hostile exhales haste out his throat, the tared smoke serving as a dire remembrance of what he used to be.

Real.

“Gonna move or what?” Strong, cynical. The tone he spits is rough, pessimistic. He’d come as a parasite, something humane no more, driven by a dream, a delusion. His delusion, he’d use her for. There’s no affliction in his voice, no compassion. His voice registers dimly through the rumble of her own agony.

Somewhere along blurred lines, parasitic growls became usual; anticipated.

It’s tough being angry at someone who hears you.

And somewhere along the dreary lines, he’d felt it too.

It’s tough being angry at someone who sees you. Sees someone, the world had long forgotten.

Her voice comes in sharp daggers, strident. “Shut up.” Long for relief brews in her nerves, threatens to overtake. Threatens to destruct. “Shut the fuck up for one second” She growls, a low huff under her breath. The burn is breaking her, the yearn scorches inside long empty walls.

He knows too, he senses the deliberation inside her. He feels it in cold, chilled ghastly bones. He could help her, and she could help him, with something more than the mission at stake. Something sinfully bigger than the dream.

Something to feel human, again. He walks, a hologram that leaves louder, heavier steps than anyone she’d known prior. She feels a tingle; a twitch in her skin ignites, she feels a dark warmth.

It comes from him; it calls from his body.

“You’re an asshole. Nothing more.” She pierces, the toxins fall her lips, a desperate attempt to keep him away. Keep him out.

The drags of his steps thud louder in her head, the shift of his holographic form closer. There’s a hoarse gravel in his throat, something so negative, yet so familiar. So painfully familiar. He lives inside her, he’s all she’s began to remember. “Cigarettes make me feel something.” The cool air that stings the nape of her neck sends a shiver down her spine. “Something fucking real for once.”

“Fuck off.” She spits, avoiding a sworn intense gaze. Her stare in the abyss out the distant paned windows causes a churn in her mid, something sickening. A quiet realization falls, creeping.

“You’re taking over me.”

A chuckle off his mouth, a smirk curled to his thin taut lips. “We are bound.” He growls. “And I am owed.”

Chained; she reminds herself. You are chained, shackled to him.

“You’re owned nothing.” She grits. He watches the way she tenses, visibly burning.

In his hallow shell of a mind long forgotten, he’d undressed her a thousand times; watched the way she slept so vulnerably, thought of the way the threads that hug her body like a lover could peel off so easily. So sinfully. “Can’t help but wonder what this pretty pussy of yours could make me feel instead.” A growl emits his throat, stocked fingers finding their way palming thin fabric shielding her cunt from prying gaze.

And the touch that registered leaves her panting. His touch, something she’d never felt before, was real. He was real. This ghost that drowns in her every thought was existent as day, dark as night.

“You want me, as much as I want you.” His voice comes in drowned out waves; the long inside her body for something physical slowly enveloping. “Fucking say it.”

She dreams of relief, of release. She dreams of good, pleasure that could wash her lungs; quench the burn. She dreams of something more than the familiar scald of liquor sent in cascades down her throat. She dreams of something physical, something filthy to satiate relief.

Sex starved, she succumbs. Sex longing, he smirks, and smirks,

       and smirks.

Stop, says her mind.

Go, haunts her body. Let him use you the way you’ve always wanted.

“Fuck me.” She mutters, breath rugged, crisp desperation rung on shade stained lips. “Fuck me. Now.”  The words rip, long pent frustrations urge. He’s far too appealing, perfectly groomed beard and lengthy locks raven on his mane; toned muscles, cryptic bolded ink litter his skin. Deep-rooted ink bedecks his un robotic arm, and she sighs at the way his smirk induced lips crawl at her neck. Lingering kisses, gentle bites leaving faint purple bruises to her delicate skin;

Something about the way he speaks, the way his touch held the power of a million fucking bullets.

Unmatched, unprecedented.

Cold and stoic, his bionic hand plants to her chest, above the valley of perfectly plump breasts. Slowly, he guides, her body finding refuge on her bed covered in a sea of soft sheets and cottoned pillows. The same bed, where she knew he’d fuck her into oblivion, now that she’d asked.

A fire burns in his belly, a smoke that matches lustrous eyes roving and bulging pants. Through brown leather, the outline of his impressive cock causes a gulp in her throat, the anticipation tightening in her ached cunt, long yearned for the fruit of any friction. “Take everything off.” His shallow voice demands, and she watches the way he palms a throbbing cock shielded from her gaze.

Johnny was equipped, experienced; expert to say the least. He knew well how to please a woman, how to mix the perfect blend of pain and pleasure. If there’s one thing groupie affairs taught;

all pussy is good, but only few, came heavenly.

He’d known since he’d saw her, since their first encounter. There’d been no place he’d wanted to be buried guts deep, no place as tight, warm, inviting than her cunt. Her movements follow obliged, skimpy cloth and thin bottoms tugged off for his view. Amatory lace bottoms and a matching bra unhook through the brittle fingers of her hands; her eyes never leave him. The way his prying eyes dig into hers, piercing. He palms, and strokes, cold hands moving to unbuckle a heavy belt that falls to the floor with a dense thud.

In the chilled air of the futuristic room, a cold shiver pecks at her skin; inch by inch a warmth blazes inside. The anticipation of what Johnny would, could do to her. He could destroy her.

He could ruin her, with every thrust.

Much to his splendour, her bare breasts sit perfectly swollen on her chest, pert, hardened nipples vibrant with tint. Silky skin, perfectly dewy. She was a fucking goddess in her own right; a sex siren his cock pulses for, in dire need. A flush to her skin ignites, visibly frustrated. “Haven’t been fucked in a while, have you.” He states firmly, less of a question than proclamation. A cold, robotic finger grazes her bottom lip, stony, iced, a snicker loiters. “Or haven’t been fucked well?” His finger trails down, gently, sub-zero, feather light as it glosses her skin, brushed against the petals, the slippery folds of her tender womanhood; two digits enter, curling inside her beautifully slick, warm walls.

“You’re gonna remember me for days, princess. Gonna wreck this pretty pussy of yours, show you what it means to be alive.”

In this moment, she’d swore she belongs to him. She’d permit his pessimistic soul to do whatever he sought, with her frail body.

“Gonna pull it out or what, coward.” She allows, that familiar confidence she’d so desperately tried to hold true finding light once again.

She tries, she pleads to be strong. Yet she knows, she’d be sure. She’d crumble under him; she’d fall mercy to his mechanical touch.

“Patience.” He sneers, motorized hands unzipping. “Patience is virtue, darling.”

Somewhere along the way, she’d gotten accustomed to snarky remarks, egotistical transcriptions.

His cock falls out of his pants, heavy, thick, big, beautiful. She swallows, intrigued by the grandeur, a rosy tip swells with beads of wet pre cum, seeps. A thunderous vein runs down a curved shaft, copious balls surrounded by a jungle of dark hair.

She swallows at the sight; his words stay true. Intimidated, she’d for sure remember him, for days. The ache he’d leave would triumph for days to come.

“On your back.” He demands, pants long forgotten to the flat below, a few meagre tugs jerked to his raw, throbbing member.

Johnny Silverhand had fucked countless women, yet none made his cock as painfully erect, tender as she did. In the most sinful of ways, his cock would become her prisoner, and they hadn’t even started yet. With a rock hard cock digging into the skin of her stomach, he takes positon above her, towering. The scent of need fills the air as silky legs spread for his taking,

She spreads for his taking. A gasp dies in her throat as his cock springs, the deep baritone moan in his chest grumbling as his erection dips forcefully into her tiny mouth, impeding down her throat with a sole thrust. His hips buck forcefully in her wet, tight mouth, lingering as his jaw tightens, before plummeting out.

He’d primed himself in her throat, preparing to be buried between feeble legs, drowned inside her tender cunt.

Glancing between sweat stippled bodies, she stares and stares when his hands line a pulsating cock up with her entrance, firm hands planting to her hips, his massive member sinks inside her, rough, robust. A heavy thrust implores, big, warm, beautiful. One deep, harsh thrust was all it took. All it took for her to ascend, a loud moan of pure pleasure let off her lips at the sheer weight of him inside.

The bass of his voice moans harsh, sucking in a sharp breath to the feel of her wrapped, glistening his cock with her creamy, wet releases. His pace proves animalistic, hard off the get go, minimal time for her to adjust before he pounds her hastily, laboured breaths and quickened heavy exhales channelling out both their bodies. Delicate, weak arms desperately hold his broad shoulders as he drills into her needily, sloppily, the sound of thick balls slamming her core echo grey walls, dark eyes and enticingly deep grunts kissing her ears as he takes her body whole. “Fuck…you’re...” He breathes, rugged, harsh. “You’re…so fucking tight. So fucking wet.” Growling, he watches her become a whimpering, disorderly mess under his weight as beautifully plump breasts jerk hastily to his hostile pace. Her eyes flutter closed, lips slightly agape as she breathes tiny, gasped moans, fingernails clawing into his fleshy shoulders.

His hips rock expertly, so rough, so quick she feels warm tears singe in he corners of her eyes at how well he fucks her, how guttural his moans fall. Praises for her pussy dawdle his lips in hasty exhales, chasing his orgasm as her cunt cocoons, moulds to his cock so perfectly; as if a glove, as if she’d been made just for him. Solely for him to use, for him to fuck. His hold on her tightens, hands kneading tantalising hips as one moves to squeeze her breast, tough. The stretch he leaves proves incomparable, eyes widening when the curve of his cock hits her G spot repeatedly, hisses of her name and rapt desire overtaking. A selfish pace conjures, her body jerks, stifling moans with each imperative thrust.

The pain, the pleasure. The unholy pleasure of this parasite splitting her inch by inch. His cock glides easily, slips in and out gratifyingly; whimpers and yelps brew her voice, a chant of his name desperately recited as if a prayer she’d held, punctuated by growls and throaty gruffs of his. With her tits bouncing vigorously to his pace, Johnny’s need only cultivates further, and he drowns in the feel of her heavenly cunt.

His, all, and only, his.

Her legs tremble, a bite sinks into her arm covering her mouth to cage particularly gruesome moans. The violent labour of his hips, over and over, and over leave every vein inside her snapping, every nerve ending sparking with lust, she feels him all. His entire cock barely fitting; she squirms under him, his buttery voice filtered with demand. “Tighten up for me. Milk this cock like it’s the last thing you’ll do.” His moans fall heavier, as his thrusts; sultry, stiff voice surging her ears as he shudders, shivering, buried deep, deep inside. A cocktail of glossy, creamed releases they’d create together drip to the sheets below, although neither cease to care.

A joint euphoria builds, something they’d needed dire. Her limbs wrap his frame, his muscles cage her tight. He pounds, he thrusts, he jolts, he relishes in the tender haven she’d given him to spoil in; the sound of his cock slicking in her wetness through unaltered thrusts proves far too much, she feels each ridge, each inch of his godly cock assaulting her core.

“Gonna cum,” Johnny asserts, pace never faltering. She jolts, and jolts, and cries, and whines to his speed, to his feel. Within a few particularly intense thrusts, lewd moans drive out her lips in frantic succumb, her pussy throbs for him, skin colliding, arousing him further. Holding dearly, she practically melts into him, hips bucking to meet his as a blissful, earthshattering orgasm washes over her in currents; in oceanic waves, a tsunami of all things good, all things filthy.

Her pussy falls sore, aching, delicate from the action when he grunts imperatively, the sound of hammering hips into her heat dying down when his cock twitches within her, slipping through silky arousal easily, slamming relentlessly when his high comes. It comes, he cums, deep, deep inside her trifling cunt, swollen thick and jerked as spurts of hot, scotching cum coat the insides of her pussy. The groans he lets out prove impatient, hoarse, coursing, currenting through her ears. She beats with his succulent release inside, a cocktail her juices and what he’d left behind coating the insides of her thighs.

In sex gratified bliss, her eyes widen when he collapses on top, thunderous arms holding her still, cock excruciating felt within. Tonight, she’d been told. She’d been shown,

Johnny likes it

Sloppy. Vulgar. Tight.

pornographic.

       Johnny likes it rough, hard.

Ruthless, and she’d crumbled in each inch of it. Addicted, long gone. He’d sworn the same, intoxicated by her unrivalled cunt, those soft, whingeing moans that flee her lips;

With their skin sticking together through beads of peppered exertion, laboured puffs and heavy huffs pound in their chests, bodied still fitted together as if a puzzle piece, cock still sheathed inside. Simpering, smirking, his cold, contemporary finger lifts the faint of her chin,

the world seemed to have ended in this moment.

her world had ended, shaken.

But time still passed, it passed, it tightened, clawed in her chest.

Nothing compared to him, nothing tasted as sweet.

“We are bound, kitten. This pussy is mine, and mine alone.”

       A declaration, a fate written.

He’d taken over another part of her; and this time, she let him.

Her body belongs to him, in all forms.

His fuck doll, she’d be.

And she knows, she feels it in her bones. He’ll be the death of her through what comes;

       he’ll love to ruin her.

 and she’ll love, to be his.

➶ ➴➶ ➴➶ ➴➶ ➴➶ ➴➶ ➴➶ ➴➶ ➴➶ ➴➶ ➴➶ ➴➶ ➴

My taglist will be posted in reblogs, let me know if you want to be added or removed! :)

[austarus]

Harrison Wells (Eobard Thawne) x Reader x Harry Wells: Six Crows - Chapter 5

Chapter 5: A Reluctant Choice

*A/N: This edit does belong to me, though the individual photos don't belong to me

**Please don’t forget to comment, like, and reblog. It means a lot to content creators of all kinds!

***I’d also like to thank @grimtamlain-writes​ for being my beta reader.

Harrison Wells (Eobard Thawne) x Reader x Harry Wells: Six Crows 

Word Count: 2733

MASTERLIST

“How was your trip with Thad?” Your voice broke Eobard out of his thoughts, the glass board in front of him was littered with multiple numbers, equations, and letters. Scientific theories that exceeded your base knowledge at first glance. A rough sigh left the speedster causing him to tilt his head to the side as he stared at the board. His icy blue eyes ran over the equations once more, but his thoughts had been primarily on the other issue at hand. The trip with Thaddeus, the things they had discussed when returning; it all played over in his mind once more that day. You watched as Eobard slowly turned to you while capping his white marker to then toss onto the side desk that was littered with multiple books and papers. You had been leaning against the cool metal doorframe, arms crossed as you eyed him with curiosity flickering in your eyes. It had been three days since your little ‘blast to the past’ trip to confront Harrison. Yet question after question kept flooding your mind, doubt bubbled up in the pit of your stomach. Why would he choose to help us? If I was in his position with the same proposal, would I have helped? The thought had you at a loss of words for a moment.

“Fine.”

You raised an eyebrow at Eobard’s short answer as you pushed off the door frame to approach your man. Confusion riddled your face as you pocketed your hands, but you pushed past his curt response. “Did you find what you were looking for?” You could see the conflict in his eyes, the struggle that came with saying what exactly was on his mind. Exactly how Harry would be at times.

“What do you know about the Negative Speed Force?” He asked instead, a distant look present in his baby blue hues.

Eobard isn’t the type of person to sugarcoat answers. Always straight to the point with things. So why is he...? You frowned slightly at him, your eyes never leaving his own eyes as the speedster took a step closer to where you stood. That doubt had blossomed into a bad gut feeling. “Eobard, what’s going on?”

“I’ll ask again, though I don’t like repeating myself, you know that: What do you know about the Negative Speed Force?” The seriousness in his tone border-lined a grim feature, one that did not put your heart at ease.

Licking your lips, you blew a little hesitant breath out before answering him. “You created the Negative Speed Force; an artificial extra-dimensional energy that rivals the Speed Force that Barry uses.” You paused with a little shrug; his piercing eyes watched you as you spoke. “Um, speedsters with a connection to the Speed Force can gain a connection to the Negative Speed Force by exercising their negatively charged emotions to such an extent that it corrupts them from the inside. Gaining a connection to the Negative Speed Force will turn a speedster's natural yellow lightning red. Just like with Nora.” Eobard shut his eyes, rubbing his face hard before looking at you with a hand over the lower half of his face. Nora of that timeline had been a necessary casualty; it had either been his life or hers. And the speedster would always choose to run back to you. “Eobard, what happened?” The gut feeling grew with some anticipation thrown in the mix.

He opened his mouth only to close it. The villain was frustrated at the conclusions he had come to, but they were ones that you needed to hear. Ones you needed to know to judge for yourself. “The Negative Speed Force isn’t just a bridge from Barry’s Speed Force or a bomb shelter to protect me from changes in the timeline. It is a parasite; a festering parasite that negative tachyons siphon off the tachyons of the Speed Force in order to get fast – faster –  through such corrupt energy and emotions...” You only nodded at him, vaguely remembering him explaining such a phenomenon a few years ago when he was trying to get his speed back. When Eobard first disrupted the timeline by killing Nora, he had lost his speed because the Speed Force wouldn’t have been created. There would have been no Flash. Therefore, the bridge to the Negative Speed Force would not have been created by Eobard. He remedied that by replicating the same conditions that he had studied so well all his young years in order for Barry to obtain his speed. However, a repercussion would be the delayed ripple effect down the timeline. Eobard had been getting his speed in spurts, you remember all too well especially with how his legs would seize and eventually be paralyzed after extensive use. While the wheelchair was ultimately a ruse after the PA explosion, there was some lingering truth to Eobard’s use for it. “There is an option for you to maximize use of my speed while in Fusion form. But… it will have repercussions.”

“Eobard, everything that we’ve done had repercussions. What’s one more nail on the coffin?”

He averted his eyes at your choice of words, the word ‘death’ almost slipped from his lips, but he dared not to utter such a case. This was a decision that you would have to ultimately make. He can throw in his findings, his caution and concern, but in the end the speedster can only hope that you see to reason. Knowing that you’d at least hear him out slightly decreased the worry that was seeded inside him since coming to his conclusions about the Fusion Link. Slightly. “From the trip, I came to a possible conclusion for our speed problem in Fusion mode, well, to put it more bluntly a hypothesis.” You gestured for your speedster to continue, the hair at the back of your neck stood when you remembered trying to reach Eobard’s max velocity, that split second of surpassing it with the Negative Tachyon Enhancer (NTE) and that other second of colliding with the wall, blood spewing from your mouth as your body thrummed in pain. “If you were to immerse yourself into the Negative Speed Force, it should resolve the NTE issue and we’d be able to surpass my current max speed. I already ran a previous scan on your body a few times on a little hunch and what I found aligned with what came to mind. There are traces of negative tachyons in your system to my Speed Force from our link, if that was harnessed in a concentrated amount then our time in Fusion form can be maximized and running would be a more viable option should we need it. However, that’s where things can get a little complicated.”

“Complicated how?”

“Those tachyons now are weakly incorporated to the biochemistry in your body in contrast to the heavy surplus I have with mine as a speedster. There is a chance that things can go in the other direction if you were to go into the Negative Speed Force.” Eobard took in a breath while running a hand through his hair. He gave you a hard look. “The Negative Speed Force is not a gentle entity. It is not kind or nurturing like how Barry’s has become over the years. It’s filled with hate and anger and fear – all the aspects that embody myself because of Barry’s future actions. In a sense, it could devour your existence if it deems it so while in our Fusion mode. That’s why you can only tolerate it for such a limited amount of time. Another issue is that carbon molecules are weak against lightning or heat-based energy. The lightning I generate is channeled in a way to avoid harming you while we’re fused. The same can’t be said with the energy and lightning generated by my Speed Force.”

Flashes of Trajectory entered your mind; how the alter ego’s greed resulted in Eliza’s body disintegrating from the artificial speed drug Velocity 9. You swallowed thickly. “Because I’m not a speedster, there’s a chance I could die going into your Speed Force and mingling with the heavy tachyon density.” The dark-haired genius in front of you nodded.

“There is a chance though that my Speed Force will accept you as long as either I’m in direct contact with you or enter the Negative Speed Force in our Fusion form. I haven’t told Thaddeus this yet, knowing what his answer would be.”

“He wouldn’t want me to go.”

“I don’t want you to go! I don’t want it to change you, I can’t… I can’t lose you again. I’m still trying to see if there’s another way, if there’s a chance that my negativity won’t corrupt you.”

“… It hasn’t corrupted me so far. And look at our son, he isn’t corrupted.” Your kid was just as goofy and sassy as you were just as he is intelligent and snarky as both his fathers. Yet, you never saw an inkling of malicious and dark intent in his eyes, which made you think that his link to the Negative Speed Force was mainly hereditary, but you’re not stupid. You recognize that Thaddeus does channel his anger and fear from his past into using Eobard’s Speed Force, but it didn’t consume him outside of that like it had with your fiancé.

“The negative tachyons in your body are weak compared to my Negative Speed Force or Thaddeus’ ties to it. You’re not a speedster.”

“But I have you.” You pointed out, reaching a hand to hold his free one. You gave it a squeeze with a look of determination on your face. “And you have me with you every step of the way. Our compatibility should stand for something, right? If we’re compatible and I’m able to endure your essence and the negative tachyons your body generates so far then I should be able to endure the ones in the Negative Speed Force. I haven’t changed thus far. Am I a bit more bitter? Yeah, but that’s because of Barry, not because of you and your tachyons. The truth regarding our future with our kids and Harry is more haunting than whatever it is your Speed Force throws at me.” You understood his concerns, but you were able to withstand the negativity for almost a year now. A very small number of negative tachyons was in your system prior to his exorcism from Nash and from… other stuff. “I know that you’ll do everything to protect me. We’ll make things work; we always do.” Eobard had considered your compatibility, but to him he views the risk too great. How would he live with himself without you? Without Thaddeus? Without knowing his other son? “So, you’ll go with me?” The genius speedster’s eyes flickered back to your softened expression.

“… Every step of the way.”

You nodded, tucking your head under into his chest and holding him close. Eobard wrapped his lithe limbs around you tightly, mentally preparing multiple ways in protecting you from the harsh environment he had created. One that reflected all the emotions that welled up inside him in ample amounts – anger and hate that spanned through years because of Barry Allen. A lightbulb illuminated in the speedster’s mind as he held you. A shaky breath left you as more thoughts and scenarios left your mind. To your knowledge, Iris hadn’t even entered Barry’s Speed Force. Cisco had vibed her psyche to the halfway point to pull Barry out, but she had never really been to it. You’d be the first non-speedster to do so. There was no other way around it, this would be something that needs to be done. If Harry were here, he and Eobard could come up with a more accurate plan. That’s if Harrison shows up.

“There is something we could try,” Eobard’s deep voice pulled you from your thoughts, leaning himself back a bit to look at you fully. You tilted your head, watching red sparks flicker behind his eyes as his mind went into overdrive. He brushed a few stray strands of your hair from your face, that cunning expression on his face. It always intrigued you. Eobard held your chin with his thumb and index finger, his thumb rubbed little circles into your skin.

“Oh, what?”

“What if we multiply the current negative tachyons in your body? The ones you’re accustomed to already in order to strengthen the weak link you have to my Speed Force rather than subjecting you to a high-density tachyon environment that your body can’t handle at the current moment. Cisco had made  a positive tachyon device to suppress my tachyons from fully encompassing Nash in order for me to take over. The reverse is the same.”

“Ah, you made a pun!”

“I know, I regretted it the moment it left my mouth.”

“It’s an idea, but couldn’t that spiral out of control?”

“Not with Thaddeus and Jesse monitoring you. It will be a gradual change that your body will adjust to. Those tachyons will remain dormant inside you until we fuse, like we already have them as of now.”

“I don’t see any problems with it.”

“Good, because we start this tomorrow while we wait.”

The clock continues to tick.

***

“Thaddeus.”

Eobard’s voice brought the young speedster out of his thoughts - out of the memories his mind took a stroll through. Memories when he was as young as six years old, when his father had been taken away from him. Leaving him and Jack and Jesse with his mother and other dad. “Hm?”

The elder speedster looked over his son, who laying on the bed with his arms behind his neck, before fully entering the room. He shut the door behind him. “What are you hiding?”

“Hiding? What hiding? I’m not- I’m not hiding anything. Why would I be hiding something?”

“Case in point.” Eobard sighed and took a seat at the end of the bed to look at his son with a serious expression. “I don’t think I need to remind you that I’m a master of deception. Lying is all I did for 15 years. You’ve been acting strange around your mother for a few weeks now. She may not be aware of it at the moment, but I’ve picked up on the signs. The question is: why?”

“Y-yeah, you know, it’s... it’s nothing much, really.” Your death had plagued him since finding out, the young genius sticking to you like glue on most days to ease himself. A part of him scolding himself for not being able to return to the future to bury you properly, but then again... “Some things popped up from the future that I had to deal with. Gideon messaged me and everything. Had to deal with some baggage, you know. Nothing too drastic.”

“Uh huh, you’re not a very good liar like your mother. Not at first anyway, she’s improved since then, but that’s besides the point. You’re lying to me.”

“Well that just depends on how you define lying.”

Eobard simply raised an eyebrow as his son dodged the accusation. “Well I define it as not telling the truth. How do you define it?”

“Mm, reclining your body in a horizontal position?”

“You’re going to tell me exactly what you found out.”

“Dad, I don’t think it’s something you’re gonna wanna hear.”

“Try me.” Eobard watched as Thaddeus pulled Gideon out, replaying the messaged he had received a few weeks prior. His electric blue eyes widened in distraught as his heart shook, yet he schooled his expression. The future you in this accursed timeline had succumbed to an aortic aneurysm - you were dead though you remained alive in your shared room two doors down. Safe and sound. Eobard clenched his hand, his mind clouded at the mere fact that death loomed over you ever closer. Thad looked at his father for anything, only to find that he had averted his eyes from the AI. The young speedster could bring himself to say anything; countless nights were spent in tears. Countless nights were spent planning while guilt riddled Thad whenever he’d see you first thing in the morning. The tight hugs that he’d give you, they were small moments of reassurance that things can be corrected.

The timeline is malleable, Dad and Dad can fix this. 

[why-this-kolaveri-machi]

we are our family, even if we don’t want to be.

Titans 3.07

a bit over halfway through the season, and we still don’t have all of our main characters on the board! i love this show.

as always, typing this up as i watch. live reaction, baby! *shadowboxes*

SPOILERS AHEAD

1. i don’t think i’ve mentioned this before, but i kinda miss the old ‘dc universe’ intro. it was cool! the whole idea of it was wild and waaaaay over-ambitious, but also very very on-brand because of it.

2. this is... the third time we’ve seen dick sleeping this season? that’s a record! checking another thing off my s3 wishlist...

2.5. i guess i rag on titans all the time for its wafer-thin plotting and bad pacing, but i have to admit that this season has been a step-up from the last one in this regard. titans has very reactive rather than proactive protagonists, and a lot of the last season seemed to be: x happened, the team reacted badly, then y happened, they reacted badly, etc. this time around, it’s not a huge leap up by any means, but at least they’re doing something about it. 

i do appreciate the focus on character arcs over everything else. and when i say everything else, i mean it: arcs that started two seasons ago with no big cathartic moments, intermittent payoff and multiple relapses. big bads have ranged from interdimensional demons to superpowered assassins to whatever in the world scarecrow is, but trigon’s big weapon against the titans was to... use their worst fears against them. slade’s was to... use their fears to break them up. crane’s is to... use red hood to use their fears to break them up. even the threat of gotham’s citizens being in danger doesn’t feel real: gotham is mythologised into an entity of its own, infecting our heroes like a parasite. like. this is not to say that most other superhero media aren’t big character arcs intertwined with the main plot, but titans doesn’t even make pretend that it’s anything but.

anyway. that’s my entry #2345 to ‘give a grand unifying theory for titans’. thanks. i’ll be back with more.

3. “anger is just fear in a little black dress.” god I HATE HIM

(what’s he doing with barbara’s likeness? oh... oh god. a terrible thought just occurred to me. what if they introduce hush at the very last minute for plastic surgery shenanigans? would you put it past this show?)

3.5. jason, nooooooooo

3.75. i mean, they’re making it very clear here that scarecrow is the one in control--the one who’s always been in control--and is manipulating jason and literally poisoning him, but i hope it doesn’t end up erasing nuance or jason’s autonomy. if jason’s to reckon with the issues that brought him here, then the lines of responsibility will need to be set somewhere. 

(this applies to dick as well but more on that later, i guess.)

4. just--the phrase “40% loss of income” is so funny to me. like, gotham is full of these larger-than-life characters who are idiosyncratic beyond belief, colourful and dramatic and creating chaos just for the sake of chaos, and then there’s the regular criminals and their henchmen who just want to make a quick buck sitting down with pie charts and graphs, griping about the joker reducing their returns or debating high risk investments in, i don’t know, two-face’s next scheme.

“yyyyeeeeeaaah, my financial advisor is telling me that going all-in with a guy who literally makes decisions on the flip of a coin is probably not the greatest idea.”

4.5. god i hate smug!smarmy!scarecrow so much

4.85. as big plans to “control” gotham go, it’s pretty bog-standard. clearly scarecrow has some bigger plan in mind but it really feels like we’ve got no clear insight into him and he’s this generic creepy mystery-man who knows more than he lets on and springs a twist/cliffhanger every now and then. i liked the scenes with him and dick in 3.04 where it seemed like he was genuinely on the backfoot and things weren’t going as he predicted. for all of his faults, dick is at least familiar with scarecrow’s bullshit and knows not to give what he wants.

5. i mean... i see where dick is coming from with the “he’s not jason anymore; he’s red hood” because his immediate glaring concern is scarecrow’s drug and the damage it could potentially cause gotham? i do not doubt that it’s something batman drilled into him, too, but when you’re expected to take point on a situation where the lives of an entire city weigh down on your shoulders, it’s better to simplify things and prioritise. i’m not saying it’s great or healthy! gar is absolutely right to consider this facet of the situation. it’s just dick can’t.

6. hmmmmmmm. HMMMMMMMMMMM. 

i don’t know that i’m super fond of this iteration of oracle???? it looks like a cross between cerebro from x-men and jarvis from iron man. it’s giving me second-hand embarrassment. somebody help me.

(at least they remembered dick’s middle name is actually “john”. i like to think bruce printed D in that contract because for a while he genuinely thought richard “dick” grayson was his full name. duck duck goose, dick dick grayson, i don’t know alfred, the kid was in a circus, maybe they thought it was funny. or maybe it was a test in anger control, who knows.)

6.5 “maybe you two would like some time alone?” even AI can’t help hitting on dick grayson in this universe.

“oh mr grayson, if i only had another eye to see you better...”

6.8. on one hand, it’s a bit disconcerting that the title of ‘oracle’ has gone from barbara herself to this gigantic machine; from my impression of the comics-verse, barbara had an extensive computing and surveillance system, true, but she was very clearly the brains behind the operation. on the other hand, i’m kind of glad that the ethical boundaries that this kind of surveillance violates is a sticking point for barbara. (tho let’s be real, the nsa would kill to have this in their arsenal).

6.9. also it’s now obvious that scarecrow’s big plan is to take control of oracle itself. it’s why he had lady vic take that picture of her eyes, or why he’s meddling around with it on his computer.

6.95. if only i could ‘command sleep’ anybody overstepping their boundaries re: personal information...

7. “you can just sit back and watch as the titans destroy themselves.” i mean... he’s not wrong

8. “dick’s parents were killed by a criminal mob; he won’t work with them.” it’s wonderful that you have this insight into dick, kory, i just wish we could’ve watched some of these conversations actually happen on-screen.

8.5. i’m glad that kom’s being treated with such nuance and understanding, though it’s obvious that she definitely has a Plan of her own. (and did i entirely imagine her ability to mimic other people flawlessly at the end of s2? or is that going to come into play at some point?) i think her story has the potential to be genuinely poignant, and in a universe where being Different, either because of mental health or physical differences or whatever else, leads a straight line to Evil, it’s important to acknowledge and then emphasise that the mere fact of your existence as a Different Person doesn’t predispose you to evil. maybe your act of destroying a system that has destroyed you and not scrambling to “fit in” is only evil as defined by that system. 

8.8. “you’re trespassing, i should call the authorities, i feel unsafe.” now this is a villain lady who’s definitely aware of her privilege.

8.85. kom smirking knowingly at her sister is everything.

“oooh that’s the kory i remember”

9. conner and dick working together woo!

9.25. god i hate a villain who’s always just a step ahead, no matter what. so crane anticipated dick using oracle to track his personal communications and set him up? how did he know when exactly dick would get to do this? how long did he have that poor man tied up in that van?

(the “save me, grayson” is a nice touch, tho. send dick spiralling even further! because if there’s one thing dick will do, it’s take responsibility for every goddamn thing that goes wrong.)

9.5. ahem. i’m going to need a million gifs of conner yeeting dick across that yard, fandom, thankyouverymuch.

(i understand conner is invulnerable to explosions, but how do his clothes survive??)

9.8. oooh crane is already in oracle! i’m just sitting here laughing helplessly because they’re overpowering this goddamned guy so much. he can build a lab in arkham’s basement! he has access to lazarus puddles! he has minions working across gotham, including a fully functional chemical laboratory staffed by chemists who only answer to him! he has the crime families of gotham quailing in his very presence! he has assassins at his beck and call! he’s enough of a manipulative bastard to have red hood under his thumb! and now he has enough of a tech know-how to not only be aware of oracle, but know how to hack into it! i’m sick of exclamation marks! i’ll shut up now!

9.95. dick leaving behind that smouldering grave for a person he failed to save without taking a second to process how he feels about it and running towards his next plan to corner scarecrow: a microcosm of where his head’s at right now.

10. really hammering in the themes of this season, aren’t we. 

10.25. the interesting thing is the titans repeatedly call themselves a family this season (none more so than dick) and while that found family has helped encapsulate and put away their traumatic experiences with their ‘original’ families, it’s meant that they’ve not really dealt with those issues. and dick and gar and jason come from ‘found families’ of their own: they are twice removed, traumatised two times over. they still cling to this identity however, and because of it they’re losing each other. a family isn’t static. it’s an ever-evolving dynamic and you have to put in work constantly to keep it healthy.

10.5. anyway, that’s entry #2346. i’m here aaaalll night.

11. lookit gar the detective! half-transforming and using his powers to deduce things! what a hero! i’ve said this for a long time, but gar is the bedrock of this team, and an unsung one at that.

11.25. i’m confused about him calling this room jason’s though. it seems to me that this is dick’s room that jason later used, and one that dick’s using now. so the unmade bed isn’t really jason’s fault; dick was woken by barbara that morning, and in his hurry, he left without making his bed.

(it still confounds me that bruce didn’t find jason another bedroom in that gigantic mansion of his. you really didn’t give this kid a chance, did you?)

12. oh well. so much for the oracle.

13. ... sorry, wait. you didn’t think i wasn’t going to address the bit with dick right now, did you?

12.5. i honestly don’t think it’s very complicated: dick’s been reeling from one traumatic thing to the next, and just when it seemed like at the beginning of the season, he felt happy and secure with his team and his place in the world, bruce ups and leaves gotham to him, specifically naming him a successor and calling him a ‘better batman’. he’s lost garth and jericho and donna and jason and now hank and dawn. he’s not even sure where rachel is or what she’s doing. after being told that batman was a psychopath for moulding him into a weapon, he’s also been told that his failure to be a ‘better batman’ lead to further disaster. of course he’s going to get batman-goggles. of course he’s going to be a prick. 

12.8. i don’t know what to say. i feel his frustration acutely. i don’t think he should’ve said what he said to barbara (can people stop pushing her around this season????) but that pressure to step in where your parent fails? to clean up their messes and try to think like them? to fall into habits drilled into you when you developed them as coping mechanisms growing up? I FEEL THAT. 

every step he’s taking he’s putting 110% of himself in it and scarecrow’s still playing mindgames with all of them: i absolutely feel his desperation to take control of that game and turn it on scarecrow, no matter what it takes.

and he did apologise almost immediately, and finally--finally--actually works with barbara. 

12.9. again, not excusing him! but i get it. and i think that’s a sign of great character writing.

“did you know i just reminded emmram of all of her daddy issues? what the fuck????”

12.95. i love that dick&barbara, kory&kom, and gar are all approaching solving this mystery from different angles, each as valid as the other. also, conner is there as... emergency bomb defuser man?

13. it’s like all fancy rich people in fancy rich houses do is pour fancy rich alcohol into fancy rich glasses on pristine, untouched tabletops. i wonder what it’s like to live like that.

13.25. I KNEW IT! poor michael. it was nice knowing you.

13.5. man, kory is contending with a lot of issues that she’s successfully bottled up and compartmentalised until now. the cold reality that a child can seek out their parents as refuge and they can view the child as a piece to be moved in a greater game (never out of cruelty, though, never, and somehow that makes it worse), that truth of blackfire’s treatment on tamaran because she’s different, and her own culpability in what happened. she exchanged one family for another, after all, and left that family to die and her sister to suffer. like dick, like gar, kory’s being forced to reckon with what the titans are meant to be, the larger implications of creating their found family in their own space.

14. it’s probably because it’s one in the morning and i’ve had two glasses of wine but i did not follow that bit of exposition at all and victor freeze??? what? 

anyway. look at them solving things! together! go team!

“you made a deal with the mob?” oh the sense of betrayal on his face! fuck off, dick, your issues aren’t kory’s. 

15. conner is really sweet and a bit of an awestruck crush on kom is to be expected. especially after that power rangers-esque transformation (i say this as a former huge power rangers fangirl. i’ve seen every series until 2007 including the original japanese versions and written fanfic for all of them. so i love a cool costume transformation, is what i’m saying.)

also?

FUCK YEAH

16. i love the gotham crime families just chillin’ around eating ice cream. I LOVE THEM

16.5. that was a fun fight sequence, if marred slightly by that bit of awkward flirting between conner and kom. i wonder if she’s really planning to use him in a larger scheme to get kory back to tamaran, or maybe something else. 

16.75. so i’m assuming that scarecrow has jason either so paralysed by fear that he can barely move, or jason’s withdrawing from the drug that he’s been sucking in every few minutes. 

17. it’s nice to see them chill after a successful mission! and it can be awkward, but conner’s crush on kom and him striving to impress her is also, well, uh... cute.

17.5. i guess the dick/barbara scene was inevitable, especially given the... unresolved nature of their relationship in the flashbacks? and they’ve been through a rollercoaster together this episode, discovering and then destroying an incredible tool within a matter of hours, re-discovering just how well they work together as a team. dick’s swimming in the nostalgia. i don’t expect it to last as a long-term relationship, but i totally get why this is happening now. and hey, they’re cute!

i have a weeeirrrrd feeling that kory is going to leave to tamaran at the end of the season and that dick and kory will rekindle--or rather realise--their relationship just before that. it’s going to be devastating and beautiful and painful and i will be writing essays about it which would be me just wailing into the screen.

18. gar found molly!!!!!!! MOLLY’S BACK! \o/ gar is the BEST

19. that was a fun episode! i love this silly show, even if it does destroy me sometimes <3

[atmilliways]

On the 5th day of Dethmas this writer gives to thee…

Dec 17 - Putting up decorations!

Nathan had been thinking—a dangerous pastime, he knew, but it was either that or drink until he literally vomited out all the weird feelings swimming around in his guts, and that was a no-go because he’d already tried that.

Nathan/Charles to go with some stick figure art I drew, like, a decade ago haha.

~

This Is Very Unsafe

Nathan had been thinking—a dangerous pastime, he knew, but it was either that or drink until he literally vomited out all the weird feelings swimming around in his guts, and that was a no-go because he’d already tried that. Charles had given him a disapproving look for needing another liver transplant again so soon. That look, weeks later, still haunted Nathan.

The problem was that Charles was the problem.

Ever since he’d died, Nathan had been drowning in trying to remember how the guy ran everything, hoping to somehow manage Dethklok himself and avoid replacing someone who, it turned out, was really fucking irreplaceable. No one else had any right to sit behind that desk, although Nathan had done it in the hopes of channeling some latent CFO wisdom to try and get his band out of the hole they’d dug themselves into.

Then, poof, Charles had turned out to be not dead after all. But nine months of drowning didn’t just go away; ever since their manager’s return, Nathan had felt as though he’d crawled from a bottomless ocean into a desert and now, ironically, was dying of thirst.

He’d been thinking, and thinking, and then thinking some more. He’d acted out by dating Trindle, to see if Charles would have any sort of reaction, but if he did then that was one hell of a poker face. After the explosion at Klokikon and taking approximately one hundred showers, Nathan had come to the conclusion that what he’d really liked about Trindle (aside from the rockin’ tits) was that she’d wrapped her entire life and identity around him—something hadn’t even begun to occur to until he’d grabbed an offered hand for help up the last couple rungs into the dethkopter, looked up, and realized that the hand he held was Charles’.

Every day, all the time, Charles was there. His life revolved around Dethklok so literally that he’d died and then come back from the dead for them. The only reason Nathan had let go of his hand was because his bandmates were right on his ass trying to climb to safety too, and he had to get out of the way.

The whole thing had caught him by surprise. For one thing, Charles did not have rockin’ tits.

After much reflection, he’d come to the conclusion that maybe that wasn’t such a dealbreaker. He was starting to get that feeling around the guy, like back in high school when he’d had a crush on the head cheerleader and whenever he tried to talk to her he either went non-verbal or everything came out sounding angry and sullen.

So . . . he had a crush on his manager. Great.

And it was driving him fucking nuts. Did Charles even like guys? If he didn’t, would he make an exception for Nathan Explosion? If he did, was Nathan Explosion even his type? Nathan liked to think that he was everyone’s type, being famous and all . . . but that wasn’t likely to impress a man who’d held his hair back while he puked blood onto yet another operating room floor after lying about when he’d last eaten again.

But Christmas was coming up, and the holiday season was all about having a good time with the people you didn’t hate being around and making . . . fond memories and cookies and shit. As tongue-tied and stupid as Nathan always felt around Charles now, surely the holiday could offer something to talk to him about. Even if it was just about—

“Christmas decorations,” Charles repeated. His right eyebrow eased upwards a fraction of an inch.

“Yeah,” Nathan growled in confirmation, standing firmly in the manager’s office. “All over the Haus.”

“What kind—”

“All of them. All kinds.”

“. . . Okay. All kinds of decorations.” Charles made a note on the legal pad on his desk. “Live greenery or artificial?”

Nathan barely avoided saying ‘Huh? ’ out loud, because he hadn’t actually anticipated any questions. He scowled hard as he thought faster than he’d ever thought before in his life. “Uhhh . . . live.”

“Alright, I’ll have a team of Klokateers—”

“No I’ll do it. I’ll tell them what to get, I know what Christmas looks like,” Nathan snapped, and wondered why he kept interrupting. Fuck. Charles was probably getting real annoyed somewhere behind that poker face.

Charles paused, then put his pen down. “I, ah, didn’t mean to imply that you don’t.”

“Well . . . good.” Nathan crossed his arms and shifted his weight from foot to foot, feeling like he should say more in order to not sound like such a jackass. “Uh, I’ll take care of the live stuff. You can do the rest, if you want.”

“Hm.” With an unreadable expression, Charles picked the pen back up. “I’m assuming you’d like the same as previous years, then? Everything in red, black, and silver?”

Nathan nodded. “And lots of candles this time,” he added, because candles were romantic and shit. Made for good mood lighting and creepy shadows.

“Lots of candles. Right.” Charles wrote that down too. His eyes flicked up to Nathan again. “Anything else?”

That’s when Nathan’s voice decided to desert him again, and he shook his head. He left shortly after, tugging his dethphone out of his pocket and searching ‘live Christmas decorations’ since he’d just fucking given himself that job. The conversation hadn’t even been worth it, all he’d done was snap at Charles again. Scowling, he thumbed through the search results and found pretty much what he’d expected.

Evergreens, ugh. Sure.

Pinecones, painful with thrown. Acceptable.

Logs. At least those could get set on fire.

Cinnamon sticks? No, Pickles would get drunk, try to eat them, and then whine about cinnamon buns.

Holly, fuck no. Not since that year Murderface had tried to make “homemade cranberry sauce.”

. . . Mistletoe.

A slow grin spread across Nathan’s broad face. Mistletoe. He could work with that.

~

By the start of the week before Christmas, everything was in place. Mordhaus was practically dripping with evergreen garlands and there was a dedicated contingent of Klokateers in charge of going around and making sure all the candles were either relit or replaced the moment they burned out, round the clock. In the pre-noon hours before the rest of the band was awake, at Nathan’s signal, the mistletoe was hoisted over the living room hot tub with care.

This took several Klokateers to accomplish, as Nathan had decided that mistletoe, a parasite, would be much more badass if hung up while still attached to its uprooted host tree. He settled into the hot tub beneath it with a mug of spiked eggnog and waited. Charles always showed up whenever any member of Dethklok did something stupid; all he had to do was wait.

Charles entered the room about fifteen minutes later, which Nathan found kind of flattering. He walked in eyeing the suspended tree warily, as though it might fall at any moment, and only glanced down at the front man when he’d reached just a bit closer than minimum safe distance. “Good morning, Nathan. May I, ah, ask what you’re doing?”

Nathan shrugged, stretching both arms out to rest casually along the edge of the hot tub. “Hanging out.” His stomach was doing spins and somersaults, but he was determined to play it cool.

Charles’ mouth compressed into a thin line—not that Nathan was staring or anything. “Under a tree? Nathan, please. I know you wanted to have some creative control in the decorations this year, but this is very unsafe.”

“Nope.”

“. . . Excuse me?”

“I’m hanging out,” Nathan explained, “under a tree with mistletoe in it.” He waited a beat. “I’m under the mistletoe.”

At that predetermined signal, a listening Klokateer dimmed the living room lights down to a faint glow, accentuated by flickering candlelight that lit the edges of the cavernous room like low-hanging stars. There were no lower windows, but the upper ones were shuttered to add to the sense of ethereal gloom.

“Ah. . . .” Charles looked around, trying to determine why the light levels were changing, but the Klokateer had already ducked out per Nathan’s instructions. “What’s going on?”

Okay, here it was. Moment of truth. And hey, if it went badly he could always say,  Wasn’t me, it was the mistletoe and retreat to his room to get over this crush which would surely be smashed to pieces by robot-like rejection.

Nathan rose from the hot tub, knowing that the candlelight made his wet skin shine like one of those jacked dudes on the cover of romance novels. He automatically sucked his stomach in a little. “I’m under the mistletoe,” he said again, and his face felt warm but hopefully in the dimness it was hard to tell. “So, uh. That means you have to kiss me.”

“Kiss. . . ?” Charles started. He trailed off as Nathan took the first step away from the hot tub, black swim trunks dripping softly on the stone floor.

It was only one more step to reach the man, and Nathan took it. Took him by the shoulders, getting chlorinated water all over Charles’ expensive suit, and pulled him close, all but yanking him into a very self-conscious kiss in which Nathan was totally overthinking what to do with his crappy thin lips, eyes closed in concentration.

His eyes flew open when he felt Charles grab onto his arms and, instead of pushing him away, held on with completely unexpected strength. It was Charles who took control and deepened the kiss, maneuvering expertly until Nathan’s eyes drifted closed again, forgetting to be self-conscious and just . . . kissing back.

Fuck. Who knew that Charles would be such a good kisser? Totally worth it.

“Wow,” Nathan breathed when the kiss ended, their mouths still hovering mere millimeters apart.

Charles cleared his throat, not moving away either. “I second that. This was, ah, not what I was expecting when I came in here, but, well.” His gaze shifted pointedly towards Nathan’s kiss-bruised lips. “I suppose this sheds a new light on why you were so interested in decorating this Christmas.”

Above them, the hanging tree creaked. They glanced up at it in unison.

“Would you, ah, like to continue this discussion in my office?”

“. . . Yeah,” Nathan said with a slow grin. “Yeah, let’s do that.” He followed Charles, grabbing a towel along the way to dry off with.

Fuck yeah, mistletoe. Worked like a charm.

[hybridfanfiction]

Owner Training - 6 (M)

This chapter is filled with smut, so skip this one if you’re not interested! Warning for unprotected sex. Don’t be a fool, wrap your tool. (Unless you’re Yoongi, then it’s cool.) He might also kinda have an impreg kink. Look, these things write themselves, okay? 

Word Count: 2,800

Your hand clenched the sides of the open doorway as your jaw dropped, the scene before you turning your brain to mush. Your last remaining brain cell was battling between the urge to flee and the desperate desire to stay. Finally, one of your feet managed to take a single step, despite how it felt like pure lead. 

Looking back, it really should have been obvious what was going on....

Since the heartbreaking fight a few days before, you were wondering if there was perhaps some sort of parasitic animal in his DNA. Yoongi has been practically latched onto you every moment that he could be. You’d expected him to open up more and be more into physical affection, but this was extreme. 

From the moment you got home from work he would wrap himself onto you, scenting your neck for a solid twenty minutes. He would barely let you get up to fix dinner, insisting on holding onto your waist and laying his head on your shoulder, which making cooking extremely difficult. If you tried to push him away, even to go to the bathroom by yourself, it was like a switch flipped and he’d turn into this upset moody brat that would practically cry until you sat in his lap. 

Even stranger, he’d suddenly become incredibly hungry, like all the time. You were used to him trying to talk you into the occasional treat, but overall he didn’t eat very much. Now, it was the complete opposite. Just yesterday he’d gone through two whole roasted chickens by himself, a steak dinner, three bags of banana chips, and even a couple chocolate bars. Not to mention the way he’s gone through an entire carton of ice cream every single night, pouting when it was finished. 

You knew something was wrong, but you didn’t know what. You’d tried to consult your hybrid books but it seemed like it could be any number of things. You had even started to wonder if it was time to force him to the vet, but what would you say? Hi, I’m here because my hybrid hugs me all the time and eats a lot? 

Anyone that didn’t know Yoongi personally wouldn’t understand why his behavior was worrying. 

And then there was that smoke scent. It was strange how just all of a sudden Yoongi walked around smelling like the campfires you used to have all the time when you were a kid. It was just a strange crisp burning smell mixed with this rich and sweet undertone, like it was made expressly for your tastes. You couldn’t get enough of it.

And every time you let yourself give in and bury your nose in his hair to catch more of it, his purrs to get louder and he’d butt his head up like there was nothing he wanted more than for you to smell him. Which was totally weird, right? 

This morning you’d actually woken up early because Yoongi’s body heat was practically making you drip sweat. You’d sat up and checked his brow, finding the temperature blazing. Little droplets of sweat littered his forehead and dripped down to his neck, even as you noticed his body shaking like he was freezing. You’d woken him up and had a good long fight, trying to convince him to let you take him to the vet. He kept insisting that it wasn’t needed, that he was fine, but you were so worried. You were nearly late to work by the time he finally agreed to go if he was still like this by the time you got home. 

Yeah, you had known something was up, but nothing could have prepared you for what you came home too. 

As soon as you’d opened the door, you’d known something was wrong. The lights were all off except for the one shining from your bedroom. The AC was cranked up high. Yoongi wasn’t nestled into his usual corner on the couch, so you assumed he was still napping in the bedroom. It was fairly quiet until you got closer to the room. 

Then you heard it. 

It was light at first. You could have easily mistaken the sounds as whimpers of pain. In fact, you nearly did, which is why you started walking towards the bedroom in the first place. But it was soon followed by a ragged moan and the sounds of your bed lightly squeaking. 

“Fuck...”

Yoongi’s gravelly voice gave away exactly what he was doing in there, and yet your body still went forward like it was on auto-drive. You grasped the side of the doorway and peeked in, your heart beating wildly in your chest. You couldn’t even breathe. 

There on the bed that the two of you shared was Yoongi - but one you’d never seen before. He wasn’t wearing a single stitch of clothing, and his pale skin was damp with a light sheen of sweat. He was on his back with his fluffy black tail trailing off the side of the bed. His hand was wrapped about a surprisingly pretty pink cock as he tugged on it, biting his lips in what looked like both arousal and frustration. 

“Ahhhhh....”

You could feel every moan travel straight to your own body. God, he sounded amazing. Was this a heat? You forgot all about those. Fuck, you were a shitty owner. 

“Can smell you. Come help me.” 

You jumped guiltily, peeling your gaze off the entrancing sight of his hand at work to meet his eyes. He was staring at you hungrily, a flicker of something there that was almost a challenge. 

“I’m so sorry, Yoongi. I forgot about ruts and heats. I can go call the hybrid place and have them send someone,” you sputter, quickly averting your eyes and making a show of pulling out your phone. “I can ask Jimin to let me stay there for a few days.”

Damn, you were trash. How violated he must feel after you just stood there watching like some pervert. 

“Send someone?” You heard the squeaking stop as he seemed to pause. “What do you mean send someone?” 

“Oh, they have these hybrids that volunteer to...uh...you know. Help. With that. I remember Tae had someone once before he and Jimin got together.” 

“I know what heat assistance is. Why the fuck would I want that?” 

His voice was trembling enough that you snuck a peek at him in curiosity. His hand was clenching his thigh as he breathed heavily, his tail flicking the way it does when he’s irritated. 

“Because you’re in heat?” You respond with a furrowed brow. Was there something you were missing? 

“Jesus...fuck. If you don’t want me just fucking tell me,” Yoongi growled as he awkwardly threw the sheet over himself and stared down at his hands. 

And...was that a sniffle? Was he crying? 

“Hey, Yoongi sweetie? Remember we established that I’m an idiot? You gotta tell me what’s going on here?” 

He huffed angrily, still refusing to meet your eyes. 

“What’s going on here is that we’ve been heat bonding all week and now you’re rejecting me. It’s fine. Whatever.” 

“Yoongi - “ you begin softly, taking a few more steps into the bedroom and gently lowering yourself next to him. “Are you saying you wanted to do...that...with me?” 

“You can’t even say it,” Yoongi sighed and rolled his eyes when he finally looked over at you. “I thought that’s where we were headed and I thought you’d want to. Guess I read the signs wrong because you’re a fucking human and probably want nothing to do with a fucking cat.” 

“Yoongi, it’s not like that at all! I like you too!” you blurt, gasping and covering your mouth after because, oh no, he never said he liked you. He just said he thought you guys were going to have sex. 

He pierces you with one of his stares, the ones that feel like he’s picking you apart all the way down into your soul. 

“Really?” 

You nod. “Guess, the cat’s out of the bag.” 

His momentary sneer lets you know he is not amused. 

“So, you’ll help me? You won’t send off for someone?” 

You blush so hard that you can physically feel it growing on your cheeks. 

“I mean, if that’s what you really want. Sure,” you mumble shyly.

He quirks his eyebrow in challenge and flings off the sheet before beginning to crawl closer to you. You can already feel the fur on his tail teasing against your leg. 

“Last chance to back out.” 

Little does he know that you’ve never wanted anyone more. 

You’re proud of yourself as you stand your ground, letting him advance towards you with minimal signs of flinching. You can feel how much his skin is burning once he’s next to you, the heat just emanating off of his body. 

You give a little startled twitch when you suddenly feel his long fingers curling under the bottom of your shirt. He studies your face as he tugs on it a little, giving you a silent warning of what’s to come. You nod and breathe out, his little pleased grin enough to help you relax a little. 

He pulls it off completely and throws it across the room while you unhook your bra for him in a rush of bravery. He doesn't even bother to look at it before he grabs it and throws it behind him, obviously in a rush to just get you naked already. You were both flattered and a little alarmed, but you had to remember that Yoongi was basically in heat right now and was probably hurting and desperate. 

To speed things up, you take care of everything else quickly on your own, letting him sit back and stroke himself slowly as he watched. He gave a pleased hum when you were finally as bare as him. 

“Sit on my face,” he grunted, scooting up onto his pillow. 

“Huh?” 

You knew what he meant, but your brain short-circuited a bit at the thought. 

“I want to taste you.” 

God, he was so blunt. You gulp and crawl awkwardly across the bed until you’re hoving above his face. You can feel the little warm breaths of air hitting your core and he grasps your thighs. 

“Careful, I’m sure I’m heavy.” 

He rolls his eyes and tugs you down onto his mouth. You squeak a little bit as you try to balance yourself against the headboard. The first few touches of his wet tongue on you were almost ticklish. Light, like he was getting to know you down there. Your heart was hammering with anticipation as he suddenly flattened his tongue and ran it all throughout your folds, the just barely rough texture strange but intriguing. 

You couldn’t help but moan and twitch a little as he finally paid attention to your clit, circling it and suckling it into his mouth hard. You could feel him smirking against you. 

“God. Yoongi, feels so fucking good.” 

“Mmm. I know.” 

The next few minutes were the closest to heaven you’d ever been in your life. No one had ever paid that much attention to you before. If you stiffened, he’d stop. If you gasped, he did it more. He was eating you out like a man starved and you loved it. Even when you would accidentally grind down harder than you meant to, he would groan loudly against you, like he’d love nothing more than for you to smother him with your pussy. Kinky bastard. You should have known. 

Finally, he taps on your thigh and you lift up, looking down at him. 

“I need you to fucking ride me, right now. Gonna cum.” 

“O...okay,” you answer shakily. You honestly weren’t sure if you were going to be able to hold yourself up that long, especially since you were pretty close yourself. 

“I don’t have condoms. Do you?” 

“Don’t need em.” 

You glance up at that and...oh. You’ve never had anyone look at you like that before. 

“But I’m not on...” 

“I know.” 

“If...uhhh...ya know - “ 

“Y/N. Get on my cock so I can fill you up with my kittens,” he growls, though his soft eyes belay the harshness of his voice, making it all so very emotional. And hot. He had your feelings flying everywhere and you couldn’t think straight. 

With a silent nod and slight blush, you crawl down and straddle his waist. You inhale harshly as you touch his cock for the first time and position it under you. He’s so soft and warm, and if you weren’t both frantically trying to hold off orgasms then you’d want to take your time with it. 

You slowly slide down, both of you releasing harsh breaths as you finally connect. You start a slow rocking at first, letting your body get used to having him inside of you. Fuck, he felt so good stretching you out. 

Yoongi reached over and grasped your hips, helping you increase speed until he was practically doing it all himself. You’d push up and he would slam you down, until the both of you were groaning and damp, the headboard smacking loudly against the wall. 

Suddenly he drops one hand down to your pussy and harshly rubs circles into your clit. 

“I’m gonna cum. Gonna fill you up so good, baby. The whole world's gonna see you filled with kittens and know you’re mine. Cum on my cock.” 

You’d never thought you’d hear such lewd words coming from your tsundere hybrid, so it’s enough to shock your body into doing as he ordered. You throw your head back and moan loudly as tremors fill your body. The gravelly moan is your only warning before he holds you still as warmth fills you. 

You let your upper body drop, draping yourself across his chest. He surprisingly doesn’t seem to mind or be in a hurry to pull out - instead holding you close enough to his chest that you can hear his racing heartbeat and harsh breaths. 

“Thank you.” 

You peek up at his soft words, smiling gently. 

“You don’t need to thank me. I wanted to. I liked it.” 

He seems to puff up a bit at that, making you giggle. 

“So, uh. Not to be one of those people that has to have the talk after sex, but we did some things and said some things that made me need to have something made clear. So, we’re like...a thing?” 

He rolls his eyes at you and hugs you closer. 

“Ahhh, I must have something wrong with me if I fell in love with such an idiot,” he says with a dramatic air and amused grin. 

Your eyes widen in surprise. “You what now?” 

“I’m in love with you. And I want to be whatever you’ll let me be.” 

“So this wasn’t just you being desperate?” 

He sighs and explains. “No. Heats make me horny as hell. They don’t suddenly make me have thoughts that aren’t my own or desperate enough to hump a couch or whatever. I meant everything.” 

“So you want to...date?”

Yoongi shrugs. “We can start with that. Sure.” 

“Okay. So I can tell Jimin that you’re my boyfriend and get him to stop trying to set me up,” you exclaim excitedly. 

He growls lowly. “If that doesn’t work, tell him I knocked you up.” 

You’d nearly forgotten. “Oh yeah, about that. Were you being...serious?” 

His smirk makes him appear very pleased with himself as he hums what he apparently thinks is a valid answer. 

“And if I am?” You question curiously. Somehow the thought doesn’t frighten you as much as you think it should.  

“We’ll figure it out,” he shrugs. 

“And if I’m not?” 

The grin that he pierces you with is nearly feral. 

“Then we’ll try again.” 

And with that, you felt something twitch inside you and suddenly became aware that he still hadn’t slipped out of you - he was growing larger instead. 

You glance up at him in surprise as he shrugs lazily.  

“I’m in heat.” 

You gulp as he starts to rock gently against you. 

“Hey, Yoongi? How long do heats last, anyway?” 

“Depends. Unassisted, about four days. With you, I might take my time.” 

This was how you were going to die. 

And what a sweet death it was going to be. 

*

* 

((I can’t believe I just wrote that. Okay, off to hide my blushes in a pit of shame. I hope you all enjoyed!!))

[heat-riser]

Some weird analysis of when you knew me.

I’ve thought about doing this for a while. One part screaming into the void, one part for anyone who was on tumblr in it’s heyday and watched me be strange and into- frankly- the worst characters and really terrible ships. I’m 26 now and understand a bit more about myself after finally finding a good therapist who specialized in sexual trauma and delving into the deepest darkest parts. Maybe it’s part insight for people who were friends with my at the time- and by ‘at that time’, I guess I mean any point in my life up until a couple years ago. From around 5 years on- I was in a constant state of incredibly deep sadness and anxiety but was too numb to even really consciously feel it. I learned some of the worst things about people and became acquainted with some of the worst things a person can feel at 5, and then again multiple times around 9 due to rape by two different boys. The first, my family and people around me knew about pretty immediately. The second was completely unknown to people until recently. It’s not an easy thing telling your parents another neighbor boy who was a ‘friend’ raped you too. I can’t really explain properly how deeply this effects a person and how people don’t really understand it. Things as little as not being able to be outside my house without a jacket and full pants to cover my whole body because I internalized that showing your body is vulnerability opened up the possibility of sexualization and therefore- attack. All the way to now with everything being resurfaced and having nearly no sex drive and being unable to feel arousal without more anxiety coming in and overpowering the arousal feeling. It was recently recommended to me by my therapist to not play horror games because the feelings of arousal and fear are so tightly linked. I’ve been with the therapist for three years and anticipate at very least another 3-5 and she has clients who have been seeing her 10+ years for having experienced childhood sexual abuse. I can’t remember if I’ve talked publicly here about any of that but most of my friends are aware of the first one (it’s not really something I want to throw out there randomly and conversations in covid time are strange). I was only aware of the first one up until a couple years back. When talking about buried memories, how they come up, how to tell if they’re legit, I halfway thought “what if there was more” and felt sick to my stomach. One of the sure signs of a memory being true is an emotional response. I’m in the process of reclaiming the memories of the events involving the second neighbor boy. But point being- I learned the world was awful very early on and it became the background for all future development (sexual, social, self, etc. etc.). I began to numb myself after the first event and went through half of elementary school and middle school angry, sad, and hateful- I especially hated men, but also just the world at large. By high school, I had learned to shove all of that down. I can’t really recall feeling much of anything in high school. So the people that knew me at the time really only knew a weird ghost of a person. Then there’s this thing called trauma reenactment- where victims are drawn to things relating to the trauma situation. So this is what takes me to explaining the characters I was interested in. 1- Adachi. I now see as little more than a sad incel but it does say a lot about where I was at the time to be so fascinated with him. He shared my resentment towards the world, the idea that anyone who wasn’t depressed simply didn’t understand, and saw more of a problem with the world than his current state of being. Of course that was relatable. I very clearly remember in middle school believing people that weren’t depressed simply had no idea what was going on around them. Of course I thought that and still struggle with that mentality. All I had really known was deep despair and numbing myself from the world. I didn’t understand how other people didn’t realize that but now know what the emotional world I was living in was not typical of children. So here was someone that knew how bad everything around was and how bad the world felt and I clung onto him the same way I did my own idealizations. With what I’ve been processing more recently, the dude needed therapy and to unlearn that depression was cool and correct but had shown multiple times he was unwilling to challenge any of his issues and just started killing people. There were a lot of favorite characters through this but one that sticks out as another really fucked up example of where I was was Damon Gant. I look back at liking him as the ultimate symbol of trauma reenactment. He’s older, he had power, he was creepy, intimidating, unsettling, and controlling. Everything my predators had been to me at the time. So- all of those things were in a way intertwined with my own sexuality as they’re what I first learned with anything ‘sexual’. Some of my favorite ships are due to the same reasoning. Gant and Lana- again, kind of inherently controlling, imbalance of power, and ends horribly and tragically. I always found something intriguing and beautiful about the most horrific and sad feelings. And I’ll touch on it just for the record. Cyrus is big fucked up- but I think he is, though maybe incorrect, well intentioned with his main goal being what he believes will actually be better for everyone cause of his projection of the awful things he feels on everyone. He doesn’t go out of his way to hurt anyone and certainly doesn’t enjoy other people’s pain but rather wants to eliminate what he sees as the reason for people hurting others with and end justifies the means mindset. His numbing/attempts to numb, hatred of emotion, and hatred of people inflicting pain on others is all incredibly familiar and I’m certain a part of me in middle school knew that when picking him as a fave. As I progress, I’m more interested his potential to relearn people and start opening up to feeling. (Pokemon Master’s definitely more than hinted at him changing and I’m hoping that means they’ll go that route with remakes.) I should note that during my most ‘numb’ parts would sneak out and I would be very- and increasingly over time starting with 6th grade- suicidal and became addicted to cutting and self harm (which I realize now are both just further numbing techniques). I described the feeling at the time as a parasite controlling your brain and a part of yourself knowing you had to fight against it. There was a period I was certain of how I would die, it was just when I would finally snap. I should also say how much people are able to numb themselves. I can remember getting so anxious that my heart would race and the world felt fast- I would get to the point of gagging but can’t remember ‘feeling’ any ounce of anxiety consciously. When first becoming sexually active, I had extended, horrific anxiety that would have hospitalized me for a couple weeks if not for my mom being able to stay home with me (also out of work for a couple months and left addicted to xanax for a bit). And still didn’t quite believe her all the way when she suggested it was anxiety. And I sure as hell didn’t make any connections to any possible mental issues around sex. So I’ve ranted enough but saved this bit for the end cause it hits kinda hard. People tend to feel the same things they felt in locations. Curiosity got the best of me and I drove around parts of my childhood I spend a lot of time at and specific routes I would take. (It’s called state dependent memory if anyone’s interested). I’m learning just how much I was numb to everything and wondering just what it was I was covering up my whole life. This isn’t easy to really type out cause of how fucked it is with the realization that I didn’t really experience childhood to a degree. During my drive, past my high school, up near my friends houses, the route I would take coming back from college- I was deeply, and very profoundly sad in my core. Nothing near what a person should have felt through their childhood. I missed so much. And I’m sorry to my friends at the time who only got to know a strange, numb, trauma reenacting, ghost of myself. I’m not going to be able to relive those times in a better light but I can at very least do some work to prevent a future spent numb and profoundly sad. But my brain is finally allowing me to remember some things because it’s deemed that I can handle it, I’m learning more about myself and my past, learning how to listen to what my brain and body are telling me and why, and getting better at expressing grief and real, raw, sadness and a touch of deep-seated anger so I think I might be starting to turn this around.

[f4liveblogarchives]

Fantastic Four Vol 1 #227

Thurs Apr 30 2020 [06:34 PM] Wack'd: Another story catalyzed by space objects falling to Earth [06:35 PM] Wack'd: This time a meteor lands in a lake in Pennsylvania [06:36 PM] Wack'd: One of Reed's science friends calls Reed and is like "hey, I know you're big into meteors, wanna come do science and hang out" [06:37 PM] Bocaj: Space needs to stop dumping its junk in our yard [06:37 PM] Wack'd: I mean hey, we do it too. It's reciprocal pollution [06:37 PM] Umbramatic: The Great Space Junk Exchange [06:38 PM] Bocaj: When has a thing earth sent v'gering into space ever caused a problem [06:38 PM] Umbramatic: ...what the fuck were the dinosaurs polluting space with to get what they did [06:38 PM] Bocaj: Its not like we send a hulk of stuff and crash it into gladiator planets [06:38 PM] maxwellelvis: @Umbramatic Tobacco [06:38 PM] Wack'd: @Umbramatic : *Land Before Time* videocassettes [06:38 PM] Umbramatic: dbtgfrh ojgifmhk  hjnl;.'; [06:38 PM] Bocaj: Ha [06:39 PM] maxwellelvis: The real reason the dinosaurs went extinct. [06:39 PM] Wack'd: So anyway the team is going on vacation! Johnny wants to get a tan and Sue is like "let's bring the grill" and I'm like "you're. You're going to Pennsylvania" [06:39 PM] Wack'd: Like yes the caption specifies it landed at a resort but like, c'mon [06:39 PM] Bocaj: CAN Johnny tan? [06:39 PM] Bocaj: He's exposed to heat and light every day of his life [06:40 PM] Bocaj: Can Johnny Storm get a sunburn? [06:40 PM] Bocaj: Also: why isn't his name Blaze? [06:40 PM] Wack'd: Maybe he can choose to but it's unpleasant to use his powers for it and he prefers the old-fashion way [06:40 PM] Bocaj: Hm, acceptable handwave [06:40 PM] Wack'd: Like there's a difference between being exposed to solar radiation from billions of miles off and setting yourself on fire [06:41 PM] Wack'd: Ben is grumpy because Alicia is bogged down with work and can't make it, and his only other friend will be busy with science [06:41 PM] Wack'd: (You'd think he could hang out with Sue and Johnny and Franklin but whatever) [06:42 PM] maxwellelvis: Sandman stopped taking his calls? [06:42 PM] Wack'd: Sandman tries to beat him up on the regular, what're you talking about [06:42 PM] maxwellelvis: Ahh, right, you're not reading Two-In-One. [06:42 PM] maxwellelvis: Okay, there's ONE thing in Marvel Two-In-One that causes an actual change to the status-quo in Marvel; there's an issue where Ben goes to a bar and finds Sandman is also there. So he sits down with him and they talk. [06:43 PM] Wack'd: "Yer off yer meds again, aren'tcha, Flint" [06:43 PM] Bocaj: One of my favorite scenes in the DCAU [06:44 PM] Bocaj: Get rekt that scene of Batman talking to Ace, psychic meltdown [06:44 PM] maxwellelvis: By the end of the issue, Sandman has gone legit, and for like a decade, he stayed so, until eventually some Spider-Man story needed him back on the Sinister Six. [06:44 PM] Bocaj: (Because it implies that Only Batman can human at people is why) [06:44 PM] Wack'd: Decade does seem to be where Marvel status quo changes top out sadly [06:44 PM] Bocaj: I think it was after the clone saga [06:45 PM] Bocaj: During the panic mode 'shit roll it back roll everything back fuck fuck fuck' kneejerk [06:45 PM] Wack'd: Gotta remind people of the good ol days after that stinker, yeah [06:45 PM] maxwellelvis: Then it was close to like, two decades or something. [06:45 PM] maxwellelvis: That's an astonishingly long time in comics. [06:45 PM] Wack'd: Oh wow [06:45 PM] Bocaj: Funfact: Sandman was an Avenger [06:45 PM] Wack'd: Huh! [06:45 PM] Bocaj: Reserve, but still. [06:45 PM] Bocaj: Nice [06:46 PM] Wack'd: If nothing else the idea of him as a sympathetic crook seems to have stuck [06:46 PM] Wack'd: Which is not nothing [06:46 PM] Bocaj: Sam Raimi intensifies [06:46 PM] maxwellelvis: Marvel Two-In-One Vol 1 #86 is the relevant issue. [06:46 PM] maxwellelvis: So it hasn't happened yet at the time you're reading, is the other reason you hadn't heard about it. That issue was in 1982, so about a decade and a half, give or take. [06:47 PM] maxwellelvis: And you weren't far-off with that JLU joke, @Wack'd, says here that a big thing in the issue is Sandman dealing with the trauma of having been merged with Hydro-Man. Which is probably why he's receptive to the idea of going legit. [06:48 PM] Wack'd: Alright then [06:48 PM] Wack'd: ...anyway Sandman isn't. In this one. So [06:49 PM] maxwellelvis: Yeah, this was a lot more explaining for a dumb joke than I anticipated. [06:49 PM] Wack'd: Back to the story at hand [06:50 PM] Wack'd: Ben decides he's gonna go fishing. He's got a floppy hat and a vest and everything. Also: more womanly stereotypes!

[06:51 PM] Umbramatic: i love ben's fishing outfit [06:52 PM] Bocaj: He looks so happy [06:52 PM] maxwellelvis: Fishing hats like that always make me flash back to that M*A*S*H episode where Col. Blake salutes while wearing his hat and hooks his finger on it. [06:52 PM] maxwellelvis: "What are you trying to DO to me?!" [06:52 PM] Bocaj: Oooow [06:52 PM] Wack'd: They fly into Pennsylvania and things have. Escalated.

[06:52 PM] Bocaj: "I don't want to hoard gold, I want to turn people into dinosaurs" "HE KEEPS SAYING THAT" [06:53 PM] Wack'd: For the record earlier cutaway panels show this is a bird that got mutated by the meteor but I got distracted and forgot to post it [06:53 PM] Umbramatic: that pterosaur's wings make me viscerally angr--AND THAT MAKES IT EVEN WORSE [06:53 PM] maxwellelvis: Somewhere a paleontologist is weeping [06:53 PM] maxwellelvis: OR [06:53 PM] maxwellelvis: Oh cool, I didn't know the writers of *Dino Squad* ghostwrote this issue [06:53 PM] Umbramatic: that's me, i'm the weeping palentologist [06:54 PM] Mousa The 14: The bird didn’t mutate, it simply regressed to an earlier form [06:54 PM] Bocaj: HROINK! [06:54 PM] Umbramatic: if it did that it'd be more like a velociraptor [06:54 PM] Mousa The 14: Hroink indeed. Hroink indeed. [06:55 PM] maxwellelvis: Pterosaurs and birds are completely different groups of archosaurs, that's a mutation, Mousa. [06:55 PM] Umbramatic: YES [06:55 PM] Wack'd: Not really sure why this merited a silent panel

[06:55 PM] Bocaj: Just put up an invisible force slide [06:55 PM] Mousa The 14: Artist showing off [06:56 PM] Wack'd: How bad he can draw children? [06:56 PM] Umbramatic: i dunno which makes a better reaction image, franklin's face or the pterosaur's [06:56 PM] Mousa The 14: Or to show Franklin is about to use. THE POWER [06:56 PM] Bocaj: Its not the worst tiny adult i've seen in comics [06:56 PM] maxwellelvis: Unless it leads to another god-child moment, it's a rather pointless reaction image. [06:56 PM] Bocaj: I'm not saying that its all Franklin's fault but I blame Cable on him [06:56 PM] Bocaj: God-child arms race [06:57 PM] Wack'd: So the monster explodes, and Reed collects its gem--EUGH

[06:57 PM] Bocaj: I don't like this. [06:58 PM] Wack'd: Ftr Gideon Carruthers is Reed's science friend. We already have a Gideon so I'll call him Carruthers [06:58 PM] Umbramatic: -screaming- [06:58 PM] Wack'd: To disambiguate him from the rich doofus [06:58 PM] Bocaj: I'd laugh my ass off if he looked just like gideon from gravity falls [06:58 PM] Bocaj: or even gideon from Scotts Pilgrim [06:59 PM] maxwellelvis: I know there's some sci-fi parasite this reminds me of, but I can't think what. [06:59 PM] Bocaj: Captain N mother brain? [06:59 PM] maxwellelvis: Parasite [06:59 PM] Bocaj: She was a parasite on my peace of mind [07:02 PM] Wack'd: Sue takes a moment to check that Franklin isn't traumatized but he's like "we fought and won, just like in the comics!" And then uh

[07:02 PM] Wack'd: Were comics caught up in the Satanic Panic or whatever? Like [07:02 PM] Umbramatic: -screams- [07:02 PM] Wack'd: Seems more like a 50s thing [07:02 PM] Wack'd: Also yeah that sure is a Franklin [07:02 PM] Bocaj: I think Wertham argued that kids couldn't distinguish comics from reality and yeah that was way before this I think [07:03 PM] Bocaj: I think in his book he cited an incident that I don't know if legit or not where a kid tied a blanket around their neck like a cape and jumped off a roof [07:03 PM] Wack'd: Eesh [07:04 PM] Bocaj: Not sure that could be laid at Superman's feet. He very clearly says 'I have alien powers from being an alien' [07:04 PM] Wack'd: Can't wait to see this kid's mutt mutate into MCGRUFF, THE CRIME DOG

[07:04 PM] Bocaj: Duff Dog Oh Yeah [07:04 PM] Bocaj: Suds McDuffie [07:04 PM] Wack'd: This is cool too I guess

[07:05 PM] maxwellelvis: I was going to say, I think a dire wolf is more likely. [07:07 PM] Umbramatic: awoooo [07:07 PM] Bocaj: Werewolves of Slyvania [07:07 PM] maxwellelvis: I really wish the LOTR movies had modeled the Wargs more on dire wolves than hyenas. [07:08 PM] Wack'd: Okay I think we can safely dismiss the idea of these mutations having some kind of basis in scientific reality

[07:08 PM] Wack'd: Paleontologists rest easy [07:08 PM] Umbramatic: FOREHEAD BEAM [07:08 PM] Bocaj: You've never seen a dog shoot a laser? [07:09 PM] Umbramatic: pidge shoots lasers all the time [07:09 PM] Wack'd: Anyway this time instead of the monster exploding Reed spots the parasite on the back of its neck and grabs it before self-destruct is triggered [07:09 PM] Wack'd: Kid gets his dog back and dog stops being a fiend [07:09 PM] Umbramatic: we have to prevent her from doing it to the neighbors [07:09 PM] Bocaj: Duffer... will live [07:10 PM] Wack'd: Reed I, uh, think the forehead laser puts a serious hole in your theory!

[07:11 PM] Wack'd: Also the fuck is the "evolutionary agent"? Is he claiming we have, like, an evolution gland that pumps evolution juice into our bodies that makes us not be weird history monsters? [07:12 PM] Wack'd: Okay so Reed elaborates that the forehead laser is because the parasite gives its hosts psychic powers to make them more powerful so they can steal gasoline to eat [07:12 PM] maxwellelvis: Well, sure, I can see how that- huh? [07:13 PM] Wack'd: "It makes a bizarre kind of sense," says Carruthers, who is also identified as a geologist and so I guess is just rolling with this [07:13 PM] Bocaj: Carruthers: "Its not a rock so i don't fuckin know" [07:14 PM] Wack'd: Sue is upset that Franklin is in danger and weird shit keeps finding them and Reed is like "we do have some quiet times, they just happen off-panel" and Sue is like "you're right, I'm sorry I snapped" [07:14 PM] Wack'd: And she wants a normal life and yadda yadda [07:14 PM] Bocaj: Like that time she played horsey [07:15 PM] Bocaj: REMEMBER THE HORSEY TIMES SUE [07:15 PM] Wack'd: Sue, hold on to your memories of like the first two pages of each recent arc [07:15 PM] Bocaj: Yeah! [07:16 PM] Umbramatic: thbijgthp oknjlph;[m'n [07:16 PM] Wack'd: So they send Ben down in scuba gear to get the meteor which does actually kinda look like it could be a Steven Universe corrupted gem. Unfortunately he brings something back with him

[07:17 PM] Wack'd: Remember: if a character says they want to go fishing in act one they need to catch a giant sea monster by act three [07:17 PM] maxwellelvis: Shai-hulud [07:17 PM] Umbramatic: poor ben [07:17 PM] Umbramatic: he just wanted to turn fish in to blathers [07:18 PM] Wack'd: Reed, being the smart intelligent thing he is, puts this round item down on the floor of a rocking boat [07:19 PM] Wack'd: It cracks open and [07:19 PM] Wack'd: And then Sue was the reverted evolution thingy

[07:19 PM] Bocaj: So whats the 'reverted evolution' of Sue [07:20 PM] Bocaj: Issue 1 Sue where she didn't ever contribute anything? [07:20 PM] Wack'd: Uh. Angry, I guess?

[07:20 PM] Bocaj: My idea was funnier and plausibly unfair [07:20 PM] Wack'd: True [07:21 PM] Bocaj: Hope this isn't another situation where Reed is justified in belting her [07:21 PM] Wack'd: Also Reed opens the cracked egg and finds five grooves for parasites to be in like seeds [07:21 PM] Wack'd: So after Sue there's one unaccounted for [07:21 PM] Bocaj: Dun dun dun [07:22 PM] Wack'd: Immediately resolved by it dropping out of a tree and on to Carruthers' neck [07:22 PM] Umbramatic: oh [07:22 PM] Bocaj: Whats tension anyway [07:23 PM] Wack'd: Hm. Reverting made his skin darker. Don't like that

[07:24 PM] Bocaj: I do like the resigned "Yep -- I wuz right" from Ben [07:24 PM] Bocaj: Don't like "uglier than the hulk" paired with the thing you said [07:25 PM] Wack'd: Anyway Carruthers goes after some oil because these things eat oil remember, so Johnny blows up the oil and Carruthers goes flying like in an action movie or a Looney Tune [07:25 PM] Wack'd: Thus knocking him out so Ben can get the parasite off him before he explodes [07:26 PM] Bocaj: Yaa~aaay [07:26 PM] Wack'd: Oh. Oh fuck [07:27 PM] Wack'd: I've been sitting here thinking "but why are the monsters blowing up anyway? How does that benefit the parasites? Surely they'd want to keep the host alive to keep collecting oil" [07:27 PM] Wack'd: Adding to that, Reed postulates time is a factor as to why some explode and some don't [07:28 PM] Wack'd: But, uh. I thiiiiiiink it might be a lot simpler than that

[07:29 PM] Wack'd: If I'm right, Franklin blew up the dragon and the sea monster. He wasn't around for the dog and Carruthers [07:29 PM] Bocaj: Dun dun DUUUUN [07:29 PM] Wack'd: (And probably wouldn't have blown them up if he had!) [07:29 PM] Bocaj: Geez Franklin, geez [07:30 PM] Wack'd: And now he's like "do I...blow up mommy? No, right? I feel like that's probably a no" [07:32 PM] Wack'd: Anyway Sue is not entirely mutated, just got some weird facial deformities and is a little out of it. Reed says its maybe her cosmic ray blood [07:32 PM] Umbramatic: *screams* [07:32 PM] Umbramatic: @ the franklin face [07:32 PM] Wack'd: Haha! VINDICATED

[07:33 PM] Wack'd: Honestly kudos to Moench here for successfully constructing a mystery I didn't know was a mystery until the reveal happened [07:33 PM] Wack'd: That's some good writing right there [07:34 PM] Wack'd: Less good writing: this

[07:34 PM] Umbramatic: so nice work [07:35 PM] Wack'd: Anyway Franklin blows up the parasite without hurting Reed or Sue and is very proud of himself [07:36 PM] Wack'd: And Reed concludes "uh maybe we should figure out exactly hat Franklin's deal is" before the whole team hightails it back to New York [07:36 PM] Wack'd: A happy ending maybe

[07:37 PM] Bocaj: OR IS IT? [07:37 PM] Wack'd: Nope, turns out they have another son [07:38 PM] Bocaj: Benjamin Jonathan Richards you were named after the two bravest men I know [07:39 PM] Wack'd: LETTERS! Everybody loves some letters [07:39 PM] Wack'd: Eric L Watts wants Johnny to fall in love with another superhero and Ben and Alicia to get married. I like one of those ideas [07:39 PM] Bocaj: Is that the one what did happen eventualy? [07:40 PM] Wack'd: I mean both of those happen eventually [07:40 PM] Bocaj: Or is it the one, due to the vagaries of gendered language, that has Johnny come out as queer? [07:40 PM] Wack'd: Ha [07:41 PM] maxwellelvis: Lyja isn't a superhero when she and Johnny meet, though. [07:41 PM] Wack'd: Someone wants to know how Sienkiewicz is pronounced! It's sinKEVitch [07:41 PM] Wack'd: @maxwellelvis He does also date Medusa, so [07:41 PM] Bocaj: He's dated Crystal and Medusa [07:41 PM] maxwellelvis: Good golly [07:41 PM] Bocaj: He dates Nova, not that one, who probably counts if Silver Surfer do [07:42 PM] Bocaj: Huh. This list of romantic partners I've found for him is shorter than you'd expect [07:42 PM] Wack'd: People are kind of tetchy at how much Reed stretches now. Two different letter writers are like "He's not Plastic Man!" [07:42 PM] Bocaj: Hah. [07:43 PM] Wack'd: And people really like the more domestic stuff, specifically how Sue is written [07:43 PM] Wack'd: I'm sure the fact that all the letter writers are dudes is a coincidence [07:44 PM] Bocaj: I'm kind of but not really but a little surprised that Carol and Johnny haven't gone on at least one date. They have a venn diagram social circle and Carol dated Spider-Man briefly which is a similar kind of energy [07:44 PM] Wack'd: Oh hey, look who's making her *Fantastic Four* debut

[thestray]

The 62 2020 Movies Releases I Watched During 2020 Ranked

Like the awkward title says, I’m going to rank (and talk about) all the 2020 movies I watched in 2020. This is not meant as any empirical list of what was best, it’s ranked by what I liked the least to the most, and my main criteria is what kind of impact it had on me and/or how much I enjoyed the experience of watching it.

Little bit about myself, I went to art school for animation, then after art school I went to a community college where I studied screenwriting. Never ended up pursuing either thing professionally, but I still write screenplays in my free time and read screenwriting books and listen to screenwriting podcasts. I'm the type of person that loves special features, seeks out behind the scenes information and director interviews, and watch youtube videos analyzing films. I love film, and thinking about film and talking about film and sharing the films I like, and maybe one day making films of my own, who knows.

Ranking and reviewing 62 movies was a more ambitious and challenging task than I anticipated, I rearranged this list swapping titles back and forth so many times, and then I’d remember a movie I forgot I watched and have to add that and figure out where it ranks. I started this on January 1st and am just now ready to post it on the 17th, I was still switching rankings right up until posting this. Even looking at it now there are some kinda want to switch but I’ve accepted that this is more or less arbitrary, lol. 

The more I learn about film and what goes into creating a movie the more lenient I am about them. It’s not like I’m never critical of films, but I try to consider both the good and the bad of a movie instead of thinking in a binary of films are either amazing or trash. Some of these films aren’t great, but I typically still enjoyed them to some degree. Except Mulan, lol. I’m sorry Mulan. Speaking of Mulan...

62. Mulan

I'm going to try to say something nice about all these movies even if I didn't like them at all. So... I like the cast, and there are some nice visual moments. I actually was looking forward to this movie before reviews started coming out, it has 2 of the martial arts G.O.A.T.s in it, Donnie Yen and Jet Li, and also Jason Lee as the bad guy, so I figured it might at the very least have some decent action, but they were all underutilized. There’s not a single moment in the film where I felt anything at all. I think all these Disney live-action remakes are doing is making a case for how effective animation is for storytelling.

61. Color Out of Space

I heard a lot of good things about this movie, and it’s really cool visually, and I love Nicolas Cage always, but I really couldn’t get into it. I guess my main issue is that it starts off already too campy for any of to the Lovecraftian horror to really hit. It felt like a B-movie with great production value, and maybe that’s what they were going for? I really wanted to like this but I really just did not feel invested in anything going on, did not relate to anyone in the family, so I don’t think I got much out of it besides the cool visuals.

60. Bloodshot

I think the main flaw of this movie is that is that Vin Diesel was a producer on it, and Vin Diesel should be kept away from making creative decisions on movies. How Did This Get Made did a great podcast episode on this movie. It’s absolute nonsense, it has a couple of cool sequences and special effects in it, and Lamorne with a British accent is great, he’s the main redeeming value of this movie.

59. The Midnight Sky

It seems like this movie wants to be Interstellar, it’s structured in a very similar way, but it just didn’t quite have that same emotional punch. It looks very good, it’s well-acted, it has it’s moments.

58. The New Mutants

It's not as much of a trainwreck as people make it out to be in my opinion, I think the cast is good and it has some good character interactions, but it mostly suffers from the fact that it's way too predictable, from the beginning you're way ahead of the characters, and it doesn't help that they're in this confined setting so there's not a lot for them to actually do. But I appreciate the attempt at using mutants to do a horror breakfast club thing, good concept.

57. Vampires vs The Bronx

Vampires as a gentrifiers taking over the hood, great idea. Mero is in it, the brand is brolic. It was a fun set up, but it was neither funny enough or scary enough in my opinion. The vampires die so easily it's like okay whatever. It's like a really long Goosebumps episode.

56. Freaky

I don't think the execution lived up to the great concept, but Vince Vaughan was really great in those sincere moments playing a teenage girl. Horror fans will appreciate the gory kills. I'm not going to spoil anything but I do think there are some narrative issues that keep this from being stronger than it could've been. If you made the killer a creepy janitor at the school or even one of the teachers, then I think that would've created more interesting situations.

55. Eurovision

I love Will Ferrell, I even love some of his flops like Casa De Mi Padre and Kicking and Screaming, and even the House I think had a lot of really funny moments. This was definitely one of the least funny movies he's done to me. I think the director David Dobkin couldn't commit to being silly the way Adam McKay can cause there's a lot of this movie that just has no jokes, and the movie is over 2 hours long which isn't normal for comedies so you spend a lot of time watching unfunny scenes and extended musical numbers.

54. The Wrong Missy

I'm not a big fan of most Happy Madison movies, the jokes are very hit or miss for me. I'm a big fan of Lauren Lapkus though so I watched it to support her, and she plays an absolute psycho in this. It's so over the top it's like this character is not a human being, but I have to admit there are a few moments where she made me laugh pretty loud. I'd never watch this movie again, but maybe I'd look up certain parts on youtube.

53. The Platform

High concept dystopian sci-fi horror. Reminds me of the Cube. It's one of those things that makes you think about what you'd do in the same situation. It's a very on the nose allegory, so by the end of it my only takeaway was "Yeah, it really be like that." 

52. Archenemy

Another high concept movie. Joe Mangienello is good in it, but Glenn Howerton and Paul Scheer are my favorite parts of the movie, it's fun to see comedy actors play bad guys. My main problem with the movie was that I did not find the teen character to be interesting or relatable at all, in fact he can be kind of obnoxious. In his introductory scene he's REALLY bothering this random guy minding his own business, not respecting his boundaries at all. Then the rest of the movie is about him exploiting a homeless man and being really pushy for likes on some app, and he doesn't really have a character arc. Also wasn't a big fan of the animated sequences but I forgive that knowing this was a low budget movie and those sequences were done by a team of just 3 people. 

51. Power

Jamie Foxx is great. I think he makes almost anything he's in watchable to some degree. The idea of this movie is fun but I think the action sequences are kinda underwhelming, but Jamie makes it worth watching in my opinion.

50. Birds of Prey

This movie was all style and absolutely no substance. When your main character doesn't have a solid purpose or goal you're really just watching shit happen, and that can be okay if the shit that's happening is occassionally fun or funny, but it doesn't really make for a memorable story in my opinion.

49. Wonder Woman 84

The most panned movie of 2020 maybe? It's got flaws for sure and some narrative choices I just can't understand why they made. It has some fun performances though and I ultimately appreciated that our superhero wins not by using her fists but by appealing to goodness. I feel like you rarely see that kind of idealism any more. It may not be realistic but I think that's one of the things fantasy is good for, showing us a way things could be better to strive for. But yeah, the Steve Trevor things was fucking weird, why'd they do that? And neither Steve or Diana seem concerned with about this random guy's fate. I'd probably rate this film higher if they had Steve simply appear out of thin air, I mean why not? It's magic. But I loved Kristen Wig and Pedro Pascal in this. Pedro is performing with his whole body, did he film this after season 1 of the Mandolorian? Maybe being under that helmet for a season made him want to be really expressive. The films overall kinda campy but I didn't necessarily mind that.

48. Peninsula

Sequel to the already classic Train to Busan, this film decides the up the scale, which is what sequels often do, but I think it was a mistake in this instance. This is more of an over the top action movie than a character-driven horror film like the first. There's a climactic Mad Max-esque car chase scene that is almost entirely CGI. I don't think it was a bad movie, it's an okay popcorn flick, but it definitely doesn't live up to the original.

47. The Old Guard

In terms of action I don't think it did anything interesting, but I like how they explored how horrific and heartbreaking it would be to be immortal. Coming to terms with your own mortality is a tough thing to do, but we often don't consider the idea that death is a blessing we take for granted. 

46. Sputnik

A Russian sci-fi thriller about a young doctor being tasked with trying to figure out how to separate an alien parasite from a Cosmonaut that's returned from earth. Good performances, creepy vibe, and lots of interesting questions about ethics. It has a sort of epilogue ending with a reveal I didn't quite understand the significance to the story, but didn't take away from either. Solid.

45. The Invisible Man

Fun sci-fi thriller about toxic abusive relationships and gaslighting. Elizabeth Moss is great in it and my favorite sequences are before her character actually catches on and you have moments where the camera is just focusing on a random place, very creepy and effective.

44. Sonic the Hedgehog

Personally I would've preferred a fully animated film taking place in Sonic's world. I don't know why they always feel like they need to make these movies about human characters and then spend a lot of time having to hide your CG character and having people do comical reactions to them. It feels very played out to me. BUT Jim Carrey is great in this, of course. Jim Carrey is the reason to watch this movie. He makes the movie. And it goes without saying thank God they changed that character design.

43. 2067

What I liked about this dystopian future is that the cause was basically everything. War, famine, ruining the environment, pandemics, just all our collective fuckery has resulted in a world where the human race is on the verge of extinction, plants are extinct, and oxygen is synthetic. Enter time travel, a young man is tasked with traveling into the future to bring back the solution to saving the human race. Very timely obviously. I liked it.

42. Monsters of Man

Some asshole tech bros let some killer robots loose on a remote southeast asian village as a trial run. It has lots of flaws but I give it some leeway because this is the first film of a guy who wrote, directed and was the cinematographer by himself, he didn't have a huge budget or much experience, so it's hard to expect perfection. My biggest criticism is that the film centers a white guy living in this village and some westerner medics, not the actual Asian people of the village. Could've been so much more of interesting commentary about racism and eurocentrism dropping these robots in a village of brown people no one will miss just for practice. That aside though I think it was a solid enough thriller and the robots looked pretty good.

41. Family Romance LLC

An interesting movie about a Japanese entrepreneur who has a business where he'll play whatever role in your life you need. Father, husband, coworker, etc there's a scene where someone even pays him to be scolded in his place by his boss. The main thrust of the film though is him playing the role of a girl's absentee father, pretends to reconnect with her and take her out on the town for activities. It's shot very documentary style, and there are a mixture of first time actors and non-actors. Sometimes there are long awkward conversations that feel just as awkward as real life. I really liked the premise, and the only thing that keeps it from being higher on my list is it doesn't have a strong enough conflict nor does it really have a satisfying conclusion.

40. Over the Moon

Directorial debut of animation legend Glen Keane, I really liked this visually. It was sufficiently enjoyable, but it doesn't have that emotional gut punch that Pixar or Disney films tend to have. But I guess cartoons don't NEED to make you bawl your eyes out to be good. I think there were some missed opportunities narratively, like I guess this is spoilery so just scroll ahead if you don't want to know, but she gains a step brother that she doesn't like and doesn't want to spend time with, once the adventure starts on the Moon they get separated very early on, and don't ge reunited until towards the end, but she somehow now cares about him and considers him her brother. I didn't feel like that was really earned, they should've been together throughout the adventure getting to know each other. But I otherwise liked the story aside from that nitpick. Loved the colors of this movie, almost everything in the moon world is luminescent which provides some nice visuals. Hope to see Glen direct more in the future.

39. The Croods 2

Nothing revolutionary but it has some solid physical comedy and great voice acting. All of Nicolas Cage's overacting is perfect for animation, and I liked Peter Dinklage as Mr. Betterman as well. There's a lot going on thematically but it all works pretty cohesively.

38. #ALIVE

Another Korean zombie thriller. I really liked this because I felt like as far as zombie outbreaks go this is the most realistic scenario. Once you realize what's going on you will just stay in your house rather than risk going outside and fighting zombies. But that poses the problem of a limited supply of food and water. The main thrust of the movie is not how this character survives though it's about him trying to retain his will to live. It's the perfect pandemic isolation allegory.

37. Love and Monsters

It looked kinda corny but I actually enjoyed this more than I thought I would. I like Dylan O'Brien, I love Tom Holland as Peter Parker but I've always felt like Dylan O'Brien would've been a great choice too, he has a good everyman relatable quality. There's also a dog in the movie that I loved. Put a dog in peril in a movie and I will be on the edge of my seat guaranteed. It's a fun movie with some interesting creatures in it and a solid character arc for our main protagonist.

36. Extraction

I love the trend of stunt coordinators directing films. That's the main reason why the John Wick series is so good, and the reason why this also has some very solid action. Nothing crazy here in terms of story or themes, everything is an excuse for Chris Hemsworth to fuck people up and it delivers on that. There's one scene where he slaps around some kids attacking him that I found hilarious as well. Fully welcoming an Extraction 2.

35. Save Yourselves

A couple decides to take a break from social media and get away to a cabin outside the city. While they're disconnected from the world an alien invasion occurs, furry little basketball sized poofs. This movie was pretty funny. I'm a little ambivalent about the ending but I enjoyed these hipsters arguing about what to do about aliens.

34. Bill and Ted Face the Music

A most bodacious movie. Fun gags and a robot that steals the show. It's not as good as the first 2 but I don't think that's any surprise. I think it borrows a little bit too much from the previous films, like the collecting legendary musicians thing, could've done without that. It was a fun movie though, and the daughters really worked.

33. An American Pickle

Seth Rogen playing an orthodox Jew who's been preserved in pickle juice for 100 years and his modern day app developer grandson. I think this may be Seth Rogen's best acting role, as silly as this movie is he's kind of endearing as this character from 100 years aro, and as the grandson he's a lot more understated than he usually is in movies.

32. Tenet

Tenet! Is it controversial that this is not higher up on the list? I really like Nolan's films, actually been a fan since watching his first film Following in a film class. Nolan likes playing with time in his movies so it was inevitable that he'd do something that addresses it very directly eventually. I love the time travel genre and I think this is one of the most ambitious and unique approaches to it to ever done. I actually braved theaters to see this because I did not want to miss the opportunity to see it on the big screen. I did it as safely as possible and booked a reserved seating theater where I knew I wouldn't be sitting by anyone, had a mask, gloves, antibacterial gell on deck, sanitized my seat with wipes, etc, there only 2 other people in the theater all of us sitting way for from each other. Weirdest moviegoing experience I've ever had but glad I saw it on the big screen because the visual spectacle of this is excellent. The reason it's not higher on the list is because as conceptually cool as it is as I did not feel invested. Just on a story level having a character we know very little about pursuing a goal he knows very little about for no clearly defined reason makes it feel like... we're just watching events unfold as opposed to watching a character-driven story. There's a moment at the end that you can tell was meant to be an emotional moment, but I felt nothing. They try to introduce some emotional stakes with the female character, but idk, since it wasn't tied to the inciting incident it felt more like a b-plot than fundamental to the story. So it was a really fun cool looking puzzle, more like watching a cool Rube Goldberg machine, but not something I really thought much about after it was over.

31. Guns Akimbo

I really have been enjoying Daniel Radcliffe's post-Harry Potter career, he'll do some solid dramas he seems to prefer doing fun weird shit like Swiss Army Man, Horns, his role on Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt, etc. This is in that vein of fun weird shit, a guy who gets guns bolted to his hands and is running around the city in a robe trying to survive essentially a real life video game. A lot of the movies lower on this list had fun concepts but were lacking in execution, but this is one that is just as fun as the idea sounds, even more fun actually, it's funny, the action is good, and there are some great visuals. I found it all around enjoyable.

30. Let Them All Talk

Glen Close as a celebrated author who invites her nephew and 2 estranged best friends on a cruise with her.  It's a very light-hearted movie with some underlying conflicts that the characters are afraid to address head on. Glen Close is great, obviously, she plays this pretentious self-important woman with affectations but is still likable and warm. It's a fairly pleasant almost slice-of-life until the 3rd act where everything comes together. To me it was a movie about communication, saying what you mean, saying what you feel, and those unspoken assumptions of what those around you are thinking or feeling about you. I know I can relate to the idea of wanting an apology from someone who might not even be cognizant of the fact that you feel slighted by them, or vice versa finding out someone's had a long standing problem with you when you thought you were cool. One sided grudges do no one any good.

29. True History of the Kelly Gang

I've heard of Ned Kelly, but I've never seen the Heath Ledge or Mick Jagger movies about him and I don't know much about him other than he's a famous Australian outlaw and something of a folk hero to some. The performances and cinematography if this are great. George MacKay from 1917 is the lead and he's amazing, sometimes vulnerable and soft, other times a madman. It spends a lot of time in his childhood and the child actor who plays Ned is great as well. It's gritty and sometimes surreal in it's imagery. From what I can gather previous films seemed to focus more on what happened with him and his gang, while this movie seems to focuses more on everything in his life that led up to him becoming who he is and forming that gang. Like a 3rd of the movie is spent in his childhood, and once the gang is actually formed things move at a pretty brisk pace, seemingly skimming over the exploits of the gang to the conclusion. The film feels very raw and gritty and very fuck the police which I always appreciate.

28. Lucky Grandma

A stubborn grandma in New York's chinatown gets her fortunte read and is told that she's going to be very lucky and come into a fortune, she then comes into possession of a bunch of money that belongs to a gang and she decides to try to keep it feeling it's owed to her by the universe. A funny crime drama with the unlikeliest of protagonists.

27. Da 5 Bloods

Spike Lee is an icon but he can honestly be a little hit or miss for me. I don't always enjoy every choice he makes, for instance he uses real footage of war attrocities in this, and it's really upsetting to see REAL people, including children, be killed, when you're not expecting that. I understand it's meant to be upsetting, but it does make the movie something I'll probably never rewatch. Spike Lee's films to me can also feel at times heightened to the point that it feels a little cheesy (Miracle At St Anna), and there moments in this that kinda took me out of it to be honest, but overall I enjoyed it. The performances were great, Delroy Lindo in my opinion is one of the most underrated actors of all time, he's just always good no matter what he's in, everyone else in it is good too, but of course I have to mention Chadwick Boseman who was great. At the end of the day it gave me a lot to think about in terms or race, war, America, forgiveness, trauma and so many other things.

26. The Devil All The Time

There's a LOT going on in this movie, maybe a little too much, it's like 2 or 3 movies smashed into one, but... I really liked it, and that's probably because Tom Holland is so good in it.  Really liked Robert Pattinson in it too. I can’t really think of more to say about it say I won’t. Next movie.

25. Bad Education

A true crime movie about school district officiala who stole from the budget of a highschool. Hugh Jackman is great in this. I loved Jackman as Wolverine, but now that he's done with that I'm excited to see him other stuff cause he's always interesting to watch; The Fountain, Prisoners, The Prestige, he's always solid. I enjoyed this, it was done with nuance, it doesn't let them off the hook for what they did but it doesn't paint them as absolute monsters either. I really have to ask myself, if I could get away with stealing money that no one would miss... I don't know, I think I'd not do it out of fear not altruism, lol.

24. My Octopus Teacher

This is a documentary on Netflix about a diver who immerses himself in the world of underwater life and documents the life of an octopus. It's really beautiful, both in terms of visuals and in content. There's not a lot to talk about because it's fairly straightforward, but it was really fascinating to learn about this octopus and see the bond they mutually formed, and again I can't talk about how great this movie looks, it's like you're in a different world. This is something I could put in and mute while I draw just for the ambiance. 

23. Kajillionaire

A quirky dramedy about a family of really obtuse poor scam artists. As absurd as their behaviour is I can totally imagine a trio of weirdos like this living in Los Angeles ( I can say that cause it's my hometown and where I lived most of my life. It's Evan Rachel Wood's best role, I never would've imagined her doing something like this but she's great as "Old Dolio". It's funny, at time sad but not in a hammy melodramatic way, and I feel it had the perfect ending.

22. The Gentleman

Guy Ritchie doing what he does best. It's fun, stylish, witty, has layers and twists and reveals. Everybody's good in it. It doesn't have anything poignant to say, but it's fun to watch the entire time

21. Run

A thriller about a wheelchair bound teen who suspects her mother is drugging her and tries to get to the bottom of it. You can tell this director is a Hitchcock fan because it definitely has that Rear Window vibe but takes it a step further, and in many ways it's even shot and paced like Hitchcock. The lead actress is actually wheelchair bound herself so it really adds to the realism of all the things she does in this film. Oh, and Sarah Paulson is the mom, when is Sarah Paulson ever not good?

20. Horse Girl

Alison Brie is an awkward neurotic woman getting over recent grief and a history of mental illness in her family, she starts to have weird dreams and then notices people from her dreams in real life, starts blacking out and having gaps in time, and starts to believe it's due to alien abduction conspiracy. Is she losing her mind or is it really happening? Alison Brie is really really good in this, and she co-wrote it too, it has a lot of moments where you really feel sorry for her or scared for her and you start to question what's real yourself.

19. Swallow

I  found this movie really fascinating, it's like what if you turned one of those My Strange Addiction episodes on TLC into a movie. It's about this woman who ostensibly, at least from appearances, has the perfect life (at least by societal standards), she came from nothing and is now housewife to a rich successful man, and behaves almost like a Stepford wife. Then develops a compulsion to swallow inedible things, like marbles and batteries and thumbtacks, which is a real condition called pica. Its the kind of movie that gives you a lot to think about but no easy answers.

18. Time to Hunt

A Korean heist thriller set in the near future. A bunch of childhood friends rob the wrong person and have an Anton Chigurh-esque killer sent after them to retrieve the money and kill them. It's a really tense cat and mouse thriller with good performances. The ending seemed to turn a lot of people off based on a lot of youtube comments I read, but I didn't mind it. My only real gripe is that they set this in the near future but aside from some imagery in the beginning it doesn't seem to come into play that much, this all could've taken place in modern day or even the past with no alteration of the story. I think the future setting was more just for some social commentary that maybe went over my head a little bit because I'm not from Korea, but I think if they were going to do near future they could've added some futuristic weapons or something. But that's just nitpicking, while the future setting didn't add to the story much it didn't take away from it either.

17. Tigertail

As I get older one of my worse fears is making decisions that I will regret for the rest of my life, so this movie really hit home as a cautionary tale. It's a kind of quietly devastating movie. There's no huge tragic horrific even, just a huge miscalculation. Decades of your life of work and unhappiness go by and all you can do is wonder what things could've been. I also especially appreciated the cinematography and music of this film.

16. Mother

It's been a while since I hated a character this much, but this titular mother really pissed me off. She's a neglectful mother who only sees her son as a tool, but he sticks by her cause he loves her. It's definitely not a fun movie to watch, but it made me feel a lot and meditate on the idea of love and whether it in itself has innate value.

15. Call

I went into this movie cold, having no idea what it was really about other than that it was a thriller that revolved around a woman getting mysterious calls. I'm glad I had seen no trailers and did not know the gist of the plot becuase it went places I really was not expecting. One of the most fun thrillers I've seen in a while. So, I'm not going to talk about the movie but what I will say is that Jeon Jong-seo, who played the woman in Burning is in this, she was great in Burning and she's great in this. After watching it I googled her to see what else she's been in that I can watch and this is only her 2nd film. Apparently Burning was her first audition EVER and she BOOKED IT! Like, one a million success story right? But she deserves it cause she's great and I look forward to seeing what else she does.

14. Possessor

This was directed by Brandon Cronenberg, the son of David Cronenberg, big shoes to fill, and I think he's going to fill them fine cause this is already a cult classic in my opinion. The visuals in this, which look like they were mainly created with practical and in camera effects. There is some very graphic very realistic violence in this. The movie is about an assassin who works for an organization and uses some type of scientific process to "possess" people to carry out hits. When she's in a body for too long who's in control starts to blur. It's really fucking trippy, like a fucked up Black Mirror episode.

13. Borat 2

Been a fan of Sacha since the old Da Ali G Show days when Borat was just a side character. I'm amazed with out Sacha can stay in character the way he does, especially when later on in the movie he shelters in place with some Qanon conservatives with who knows how long staying in character. Maybe they'll reveal they were paid actors who knows, but whatever I fucking laughed a lot at this movie. There's a black woman in this movie that I hope to god was not an actress cause I loved her and her reactions so much. It was a breath of fresh air to watch something that's just goofy in 2020 because it wasn't a good year for comedy. As much as I love film sometimes I got a little fatigue from watching so many things with very heavy themes, this also had heavy themes it was satirizing, but also chimp pornstar jokes, so..  a fun time.

12. A Sun

A drama about a family's eldest son going to juvenile detention for his involvement in a violent crime. We see how his father, his mother, his brother and his pregnant girlfriend all deal with this. I found it very engaging. My only gripe is that there are some moments of levity where they use this really generic comedy music score it and it really takes you out of the film. No music at all is better than bad generic music. Other than that I really loved it and the ending is great. I really thought this would end up in my top 10 but the following films just had more personal relevance or were more fun to watch.

11. Ma Rainey's Black Bottom

R.I.P. Chadwick Boseman, this movie is like an acting showcase for him, he has so many great monologues here, the ending really took the wind out of me. It's also packed with really still relevant commentary on race.

10. Onward

You already expect a Pixar movie to make you cry, but this came from angle I was NOT expecting and I bawled hard at this. This movie was so applicable to my life experience it's like they specifically engineered it to make me personally cry. Honestly there are better movies lower on this list, but movies are just like any other art, when a song touches you on a personal level it doesn't need to have complex instrumentation cause it's how it made you feel that matters.

09. Palm Springs

A comedy released during a pandemic about trying to find stimulation and meaning when every day is the same thing? Ya don't say! Another take on Groundhog Day, which at this point I feel like it's its on genre with the amount of times the concept has been done, but I'm not complaining, I typically enjoy a good time loop movie (or show; Russian Doll). I don't know what else to say besides that it's really funny and Andy Samberg and Cristin Milioti are both charming and great in it.

08. Scare Me

This movie was funny, creepy, the performances were great, and it's just really unique and clever. Written, directed, produced, and starring Josh Ruben, who I know primarily does really idiosyncratic "impressions" on instagram. It's 2 people alone in a cabin telling each other scary stories, they don't cut away to the stories you just watch them act it out. 4 people in the cast, one location, and it still manages to be a fun ride of a movie and manages to touch on some good themes in the overall story. I really hope to see Josh Ruben direct more films because I think he's really creative.

07. Ride Your Wave

A romantic comedy about a woman trying to find joy and purpose in her life. I often go into movies very cold, so I didn't know much about what this movie was about, just knew that it was from an animation studio and director that I really respected. It's very beautiful, very grounded, until it's not. Kind of movie that breaks your heart so it can uplift you later.

06. Uncle Frank

I really did not expect a lot from movie, not that I thought it would be bad, I just thought it be your middle of the road movie. It's about a teenage girl who really looks up to her uncle who she learns is a closeted gay man, in an era where that was potentially dangerous to be. They go on a road trip home when his father dies and learn about each other and themselves, it sounds kinda cookie cutter, but it really surprised me. Paul Bettany is so very good in this, and it made me cry. Easy way to get on high on this list is to make me cry lol.

05. Children of the Sea

This film had to be in my top 5 because I'm an animation nerd and this is one of the most beautiful animated films ever. Ever. It's right up there with Akira and the Ghibli catalogue, and the works of Satoshi Kon, and all the Disney movies and everything else. It focuses on details and nuances in a really gorgeous way. The story is VERY ambiguous and gets very metaphysical towards the end, the climax is like watching an acid trip. It's about a girl who meet 2 young boys who have adapted to living underwater, and they form a bond, and then... uh... there's no way I can concisely explain it. The creator has said it's not supposed to be understood logical, instead it's supposed to be felt. There's a lot of symbolism and metaphor, it's very philosophical and explores themes of connection and the cycle of life. It's produced by Studio 4°C, which is my favorite animation studio because they really push the envelope, they're responsible for Mind Game, Tekkonkinkreet, and the recent Mutafukaz, and other, if you've never heard of any of those definitely look them up, they're unlike any anime you've ever watched before. Anyway, beautiful movie and the cryptic plot allows for you to rewatch it multiple times and take different things away from it. I can't wait to own it on blu-ray.

04. 37 Seconds

I saw this very early in the year and love it. It's about a young woman with cerebal palsy who is also an aspiring hentai artist trying to get laid. Her mother who takes care of her like a child smothers her, so it's not only about trying to get laid but trying to have some independence. Firstly the performance of this woman who actually does have cerebral palsy and is a first time actor is so natural and endearing, secondly there are things they portray with an uncomfortable amount of realism and awkwardness that it really draws you in to the nitty gritty of her reality and what it can be like for someone who is wheelchair bound to try to have sexual experiences. I like that there were 2 films this year about characters in wheelchairs that used unknown actresses that face the same things their characters do, it adds to the authenticity of either film. Films like this are why I think diversity in film is not just about doing something for the demographic you're depicting but also giving everyone else not of that demographic new unique stories and perspectives.

03. Soul

I guess spoilers if you haven't seen this because it's easier to talk about why I liked it if I talk specifically about the plot. I wasn't expecting much from this when the initial trailer dropped, it made it seem like it was going to largely take place in this imaginary soul place with these blue things, and for most of the first act it seemed like that's what it was going to be, but when they come back to earth and the story really starts I really started enjoying it. This movie tricks you into thinking the film is about finding or fulfilling your purpose, only to throw a curveball that living life in and of itself is the "purpose", and this movie resonated so much with thoughts that were already on my mind. I relate so much to Joe as a creative person myself with so many unfulfilled dreams, at 36yrs old, having to put many of my goals on the backburner just to survive, and generally having that feeling that I'm still waiting to live life because I'm not fulfilling my "purpose". Sure reaching for goals is great, but I think our culture breeds this idea that happiness is a destination, an accomplishment, a certain amount of recognition, a monetization of your passion. I really loved how the film depicted that there's a dark side to focusing on your passions and how it can become a source of stress and unhappiness. This movie is just about savoring life itself, which people have been expressing through platitudes since forever but this film illustrated it in a way that words fail at, and that's what makes film such a great form of art.

02. Sound of Metal

This movie had one of the best trailers of 2020, I couldn't wait to watch this movie. FIrst of all I love RIz Ahmed and think he's an underrated and underutilized actor, he's fucking amazing in this, he needs an Oscar nom FOR SURE. His frustration is so palpable and he feels so natural in this movie. It follows a metal punk drummer who loses his hearing and goes to stay in a deaf community to acclimate. One thing I think is absolutely brilliant about this movie is the sound design. I'm not deaf so I can't speak from any type of experience, but they try to replicate what going deaf sounds like, what the audiologist tests sound like, what hearing aids and cochlear implants sound like, it's very immersive. I almost think of it like a companion piece to Soul, cause I had almost the same take away, it's just coming from it at a different angle.

01. I'm Thinking Of Ending Things

Okay, so I’m going to have a lot to say about this movie.

Maybe a very controversial pick for my number one because so many people absolutely hated this movie, lol. I am biased given that I'm a huge fan of Charlie Kaufman, he's my favorite screenwriter, and his films have only gotten weirder and weirder, so I know to expect the unexpected when going into one of his films. I can understand how this would be an offputting experience if you're expecting the conventions of normal narrative structure. It was surprising and perplexing to me how this film unfolded but I've watched non-narrative and experimental films before so I was intrigued rather than frustrated. You think it's about a woman who is thinking of breaking up with her boyfriend as they head to meet his parents. Once we get to his childhood home things start getting surreal, and that surrealism just escalates to the point where you realize this film is not at all attempting to depict reality and doesn't even have any continuity. This is the most a movie has ever felt like one of my dreams. I don't know how other people dream but this was so much like every weird nightmare I've ever had where I feel trapped in a situation. 

There's a scene where the family is talking about art, the dad says he hates abstract art because it takes no skill, he prefers paintings that look like photographs because that takes real skill, the son asks why make a painting look like a photograph when you can just take a photograph, the woman states she paints pictures of landscapes and tries to imbue them with a sense of interiority, capturing the way she feels, the dad asks how can a landscape be sad if you don't have a person in it looking sad. I felt like this was a bit of meta commentary on the film itself. After I watched this movies I had my own theories, I watched some analysis videos on youtube that confirmed a lot of my ideas and gave me insight on other parts of the film, I watched the film again and formulated more ideas, it's so dense with things to project meaning onto and interpret it. I went on instagram and ended up having lengthy discussions about what the film meant both with people who loved it and hated it. Everybody I spoke with had slightly different interpretations and takeaways. One woman who initially did not like it came away with an appreciation for it after we had a lengthy discussion about it's meaning. 

All of this is why it's my favorite film of the year, not only did I relate to it on a personal level because I'm in a stage of my life where I'm approaching middle ages and afraid I'm going to end up like the guy in this film, but I can't remember the last time a film led to such meaningful conversation about life, death, love, mental health, loneliness, trauma, etc. So like the scene where they're talking about art, I think this movie is neither intended to be abstract or realistic, it's supposed to be imbued with a sense of interiority. I know I sound way pretentious right now, but I just really appreciated Charlie Kaufman for making something unabashedly expressionist and serving it up to mainstream audiences. I really feel like I grow as a person and an artist every time I watch one of his films.

------------------------------------------------

So there ya go. That’s it. That concludes this arbitrary exercise in ranking the movies i saw last year, thank you for wasting your time on this, lol. I think it was a very good year for movies. 

If there was a movie you were expecting to see on the list and it’s missing I just didn’t get to it in 2020, I may do an unranked follow up list of 2020 movies I missed in 2020, maybe.

That’s it.

End of post.

Bye.

[gffa]

I practically read through the entirety of the STAR WARS Rare Pair 2018 Exchange and, jeez, this fandom just has its hooks in me so hard, I love these characters and this world and the wonderful creativity of the fandom! I may often go back to the same tropes that I always love, but there’s also always something new and interesting, some new corner to explore, some new character or relationship to give focus to, some new AU to help fix things. And fandom is really great about giving me the things I want to read a hundred times over and finding cool new things! So, here, have some both! STAR WARS FIC RECS: TIME TRAVEL RECS: ✦ Asajj Ventress and Her Tiny Time-Travelling Conscience by shadowsong26, asajj & luke & cast, 2.4k wip    We all love time travel fics, right? Here’s one with Luke. Tiny, precious, ten-year-old Luke. Who accidentally travels back in time to the last year/year and a half of the Clone Wars. And lands on Ventress. PREQUELS RECS: ✦ Red Sky at Morning by darth_vaporwave, obi-wan & anakin & ahsoka & yoda & plo & quinlan & luminara & cast, 16.8k    Master Ahsoka’s off on a short mission without Obi-Wan, which suits Anakin just fine. There’s something up with Obi-Wan. That last mission he went on by himself, where he got hurt, really took something out of him, and Anakin’s going to figure out what it is. But first, he’s got to figure out why their filing project went so wrong… ✦ untitled by stonefreeak, mace & cast, ~1k    Mace scrubs a hand across his face, trying to keep a clear head even as the council meeting drags on. ✦ Punch-Drunk by bell (belldreams), obi-wan & anakin & ahsoka, ~1k    “Am I the only one who’s not gone punch-drunk over fruit?!” Anakin explodes. ✦ Precipice by shadowsong26, anakin & padme & obi-wan & luke & leia & bail & ahsoka & rex & cast, 165.3k wip    An AU in which Anakin Skywalker does not follow Mace Windu and the others to Palpatine’s office after they leave to arrest the Chancellor. As a result, he doesn’t get that final push over the edge, and doesn’t Fall. ✦ Dance Softly Through by Lady_Katana4544, ahsoka/barriss & cast, 3.3k    She’s still reeling from the parasite in her mind and confused about her feelings towards Ahsoka. Barriss hasn’t known the other Padawan long, but she wants to get to know Ahsoka more if they ever have a chance. ✦ Leitmotif by FireflyFish, obi-wan & anakin & ahsoka, 2.2k    Anakin can hear music that no one else can. Some of it is beautiful. Some of it haunting. But his music? His music is terrifying. ✦ Chosen, not assigned by Lysore, obi-wan & anakin & ahsoka, 2.2k    “It looks like our problems are solved. Fresh troops, new supplies, and perhaps they brought my new Padawan with them,” Obi-Wan had said. Though there seemed to be a misunderstanding regarding the identity of the Master of said Padawan. ✦ The Last Jedi by FireflyFish, obi-wan & palpatine & cast, 2.3k    “The dark is generous and it is patient and it always wins – but in the heart of its strength lies its weakness: one lone candle is enough to hold it back.” - Revenge of the Sith ✦ To Traverse the Center of Your Heart by JumpingJill, mon/padme & obi-wan & bail & cast, 6.1k    Padmé survives giving birth to the twins. Mon has a front row seat to the fall of the Republic and the rise of the Empire. Somehow, they continue. ✦ Hearing by Bythoseburningembers, obi-wan & anakin & ahsoka, 11.4k wip    Takes place immediately after Crisis on Naboo, and follows Anakin and Obi-wan as they try to heal a broken friendship in the face of lies and a never-ending war. ✦ Every hand’s a winner by MirandaTam, adi & han & qi'ra, 1.6k    Corellia has more than its fair share of troubles. Adi Gallia has more than her fair share of headaches. ✦ Raising Up Hope by dreamiflame, obi-wan/padme, 1.5k    Family is what you make of it. Padmé, Obi-Wan and the twins are trying to make it work. ✦ Stitches and Time by ladyarcherfan3, obi-wan & anakin & qui-gon & ocs, 4k    Alara Nel is a seamstress who keeps getting an unusually large number of orders for Jedi robes from an Obi-Wan Kenobi. Over the years, she learns why and gets to know the Jedi a little bit better. ✦ Balance Point by Vinyarie, anakin & ahsoka, 6.3k wip    Ahsoka wakes up trapped beneath the rubble of the Sith temple on Malachor with the man currently known as Darth Vader. He’s a Sith lord who has done some truly awful things, but she’s certain that some part of him is still Anakin Skywalker, and she’s going to convince him of that. No matter how many times he tries to kill her for it. ✦ Refuge by Ljparis, rainydayadvocate, obi-wan/padme, 2k    On Mustafar, Padmé takes matters into her own hands. Obi-Wan is there for her when the dust settles. ✦ The Pleasures of Life by AngelQueen, obi-wan/padme, NSFW, 6.2k    During her early months as a Senator, an irritating soirée takes an interesting, unexpected turn for Padmé. ✦ Along Our Twisted Path by ambiguously, anakin/ahsoka & cast, nsfw, 12.5k    Ahsoka steps out of the World Between Worlds, but not into the galaxy she remembers. ✦ Difference in Degrees by maebmad, obi-wan/anakin/padme (pre-relationship?) & ahsoka & rex & cast, 8.6k wip    An anthology of stories in a universe that is both better and worse than the one we know, in various ways. It is difficult to sort each part into good and bad, after all, when everything is so often both. Evil is not created overnight. Empires are not built in a day. Good intentions don’t guarantee righteous acts. ✦ he will tear your city down by collegefangirl3791, obi-wan & cast, 11.8k wip    Obi-Wan planned to keep a low profile on Tatooine, after Order 66. He was there to protect Luke, and that was all. ✦ Getting to Know You by ambiguously, thrawn/padme, 2.8k    Padmé has agreed to this. That doesn’t mean she’s happy about it. ✦ Let My Second Love Be Kind by nichestars, obi-wan/padme & cast, 3.1k    When Padmé holds her children in her arms for the first time, she thinks: This is the fewest number of beings with which I have been entrusted since I was twelve years old. ✦ Wedding Braids by skatzaa, bail/breha, 1.7k    Breha meets her reflection’s gaze. She was right: the glow from her pulmonodes turns her dress from pink fabric into a living sunset. But she hadn’t anticipated the way the light would catch on the loops and curls of her wedding braids as they cascade over her shoulders. ✦ Warm me up by Ljparis, bail/breha, 3.1k    After enjoying a brisk winter hike in the mountains of Alderaan, Bail and Breha get trapped at the Antilles’ family cabin during a snowstorm. ✦ The Very Best of Acquaintances by Skyberrie (LyaStark), bail/breha, 1.5k    It wasn’t love at first, second, or even twentieth sight for Bail and Breha. But they managed to get there just the same. OBI-WAN/ANAKIN RECS: ✦ Each Day Is Your Last by Nisa, obi-wan/anakin & mace & dex, NSFW, 15.4k    I have always wanted to write what really happened after the Poster Boy scene in ROTS. ✦ Don’t Let This End by SoftlyFocused, obi-wan/anakin & cast, NSFW, 4.9k    Anakin is frustrated by how devastatingly handsome Obi-Wan looks at one of Padmé’s political parties, he gets drunk to cope. Obi-Wan is frustrated with how needy and demanding Anakin has been, he gets drunk to punish him. Both of them really need to release some tension after this seemingly endless war. ✦ Miasma by lilyconrad, obi-wan/anakin & rex & cody & fives & kix & cast, sith!obi-wan, 12.6k wip    Obi-Wan never believed his best friend and lover Anakin would die first. But he has. ✦ Nice to Meet You Again by darlingamidala, obi-wan/anakin/padme, soul mates, 3.3k    A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away, three people met, and fell into a love so deep that it bound their very souls together for all eternity. ✦ To Be Found by darlingargents, obi-wan/anakin/padme, 7.1k    When Anakin and Obi-Wan are caught during a battle and imprisoned alone for weeks, it leads to some revelations. From Coruscant, Padmé, with the help of Ahsoka, is tracking them down – and coming to some realizations of her own. ✦ A Gift for the Hurting by by Petralice, obi-wan/anakin, NSFW, 1.9k    I’m not even gonna try to be fancy here; this is self-indulgent Obikin smut. They’re banging, folks. ✦ Bedroom Hymns by JediMistress, obi-wan/anakin, nsfw, spanking, bondage, bdsm, d/s, 10.9k wip    Anakin Skywalker is a young student with some kinky interests, and his search for a Dom leads him to Obi-Wan, a former professional. Obi-Wan has retired, but their purely professional kinky relationship changes the lives of both men. How long can they keep it professional? And what happens when they start falling for each other? ✦ 36 Questions by thelivingcontradiction, obi-wan/anakin, 24.9k wip    In a study by psychologist Arthur Aron, they found that strangers would fall in love when asked to answer 36 questions together. ✦ Exile Vilify by nessa_j, obi-wan/anakin, nsfw, 1.4k    Anakin struggles with the horrors of war, Obi-Wan tries to offer comfort. ✦ feening by mexicanfood420, obi-wan/anakin & padme & cast, 15k wip    Anakin Skywalker, an angsty mess of hormones and resentment, is thrust elegantly into the hands of temptation, and is expected to turn down every little thing he’s ever desired. ✦ The Blessed by lilyconrad, obi-wan/anakin/padme, soul mates, 1.4k    Jedi Knight Anakin Skywalker can see something few others can, a special gift the Force gives only to those with a soulmate: color. ✦ Saber’s Hilt by lovelykenobi, obi-wan/anakin, NSFW, 2.3k    Anakin’s a boy with a mouth and a sassy attitude. Obi-Wan reacts accordingly. ORIGINAL TRILOGY RECS: ✦ whatever a sun will always sing is you by victoria_p (musesfool), luke & leia & cast, 2.2k    Leia has a lot of things to do, but first, she needs to speak with Luke. ✦ Edges of the World by glompcat, leia & luke & anakin & padme & han & ahsoka & ventress & sana & bail & breha & obi-wan & cast, 228.4k wip    Leia Organa finds herself stuck in a strange alternate/parallel universe where the Empire never came to exist. Meanwhile, trying to navigate a galaxy ruled by the Sith weren’t exactly the Jedi Trials Leia Skywalker had expected. ✦ If That Mockingbird Won’t Sing by ambiguously, obi-wan/beru, 3.1k    Obi-Wan brings Luke to the Lars homestead only to discover Owen Lars isn’t there any more. ✦ Gingerbread Cottage All Covered in Sweets by ambiguously, luke/leia & anakin, NSFW, dark themes, 7.1k    Luke will do anything for Leia, even if it means seducing her to the Dark Side. ✦ Bedtime Stories by kurage_hime, obi-wan & leia & cast, 1.1k    Prompt: Leia being so madly in love with tales of Obi-Wan Kenobi and crushin’ so hard on him IS MY JAM. Doesn’t have to be requited, or happen irl (I don’t mind if it does). ✦ Only In Memory by rainydayadvocate, han/qi'ra & han/leia (sort of implied) & cast, 2.4k    Han, Leia, Luke, and Chewie are on sent on a fuel supply run, and Han suspects the supplier is someone from his past, someone that probably belongs there. ✦ Contentment by WritLarge, obi-wan/owen/beru & luke, ~1k    Both Owen and Beru had harangued him once they’d determined that he was harmless, relatively speaking. When tempting him with kindness and physical comfort hadn’t worked, Beru had begun guilting Ben. ✦ Truth by ambiguously, obi-wan/beru/owen & cast, 4.2k    Kenobi brings Beru and Owen a child to raise. ✦ Midnight by lilyconrad, obi-wan/luke, 1.1k    A gentle moment between two twined in the Force, set just before A New Hope begins. ✦ φοῖνιξ by ambiguously, luke/leia, 1.8k    Everything in Luke’s life has burned to ash. REBELS RECS: ✦ Four Doors by veritascara, hera & mon & cast, 10.8k    Hera and the Ghost crew return to Yavin IV, where she must confront tough decisions about what her future will look like. ✦ Speculation by Nana, zeb/kallus & ap-5, 1k    “AP-5,” Kallus said, “are you under the impression that Captain Orrelios and I are involved, romantically?” “It is common knowledge at the base, sir. You don’t have to deny it just because I am a droid.” ✦ roisters by spookykingdomstarlight, zeb/kallus, 1.8k    For once, he is willing to put aside his thoughts and act. “Garazeb,” he says, because he is the only one who calls Zeb by his full name and because he’s noticed the way Zeb’s fur ripples in pleasure after he says it and somewhere in the back of his mind he knows that means something. “A word?” SEQUELS RECS: ✦ We Met in Blood and Dust by lucymonster, leia/amilyn, 1.5k    Life is only ever a borrowed possession. Amilyn has borrowed twice now. ✦ never gonna get too close to you (even if it hurts) by bittersnake, luke/sana & finn & hux & cast, 2k    Sometimes death brings second chances. ✦ The storms are raging on a rolling sea by ambiguously, rey/phasma, nsfw, 5.2k    Rey is searching for an old Jedi temple and finds someone she was never expecting to see again. ✦ The Warm Sunlight by tspofnutmeg, rey, 1.5k    A Jedi knight, that’s what Rey is now. Well, she has been for a while, but she was hesitant to take on the title. FULL DETAILS + RECS HERE!

[theliterateape]

The Cinema of 2019: A Literate Ape End-of-Year Review

By Don Hall and Brett Dworski

Editor’s Note:

With projects like Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker, Watchmen, The Mandalorian, and pretty much everything produced for the CW, we are smack dab in the epicenter of the Age of Fan Fiction. The films of 2019 have some nods to this trend with Joker, Once Upon a Time in Hollywood, and Yesterday playing hard and loose with expanding the existing iconography to tell new stories.

We enjoyed a lot of movies in 2019. While not a banner year like 1968 or 1999, the year certainly had its standouts. Here is our end of the year list of the films that impacted us the most compiled by Don Hall and Brett Dworski, both film fans and people with acceptable vision and hearing.

NOTE: These are not ranked because generally, we believe the practice of ranking films is fucking stupid. However, we do rate them from 1 to 5 Apes. Enjoy.

Apollo 11

4 Apes (DH)

There really was a time when America was great. Sure, there was still segregation and violence, the war overseas, the draft, and the host of problems faced by the country but the men and women who took up Kennedy’s challenge to get a human being on the surface of the moon elevated us all. Apollo 11 is a documentary using entirely archival footage of this historic moment when mankind exceeded itself.

Honey Boy

1 Ape (BD)

The anticipated debut of writer Shia LaBeouf is choppy and disappointing. Newcomer Noah Jupe plays child actor Otis—based on LaBeouf—whose drunken father disrupts his recent success. The film’s inconsistencies stem across the plot, casting and performances. The father, played by LaBeouf, flops between abusive asshole and tender daddy by the minute; neither is compelling. Lucas Hedges, who plays Otis as a drug-abusing teenager, looks nothing like LaBeouf or Jupe. And once things get interesting, Otis forgives his pop and tells him he’s “going to make a movie about him.” Very original, Shia. The fact that Honey Boy is based on LaBeouf’s life is intriguing, but the film is ultimately a huge letdown.

Midsommar

4 Apes (DH)

Ari Astor gives us a twisted break up story wrapped in the bloody flowered crown of a horror film set in blinding sunlight. I loved Hereditary for a million reasons. I loved Midsommar for five: Florence Pugh, the bizarre mating ritual, the fucked up mushroom visuals, old people willingly plunging to their deaths, and a dude being stuffed into the skin of a recently slaughtered bear and burned alive.

Dolemite Is My Name

3 Apes (BD)

Eddie Murphy rewinds the clock to his Raw and Delirious days in this biopic of Rudy Ray Moore, a comedian and musician behind the Blaxploitation movement of the 1970s. While wildly erratic at times, it’s also an affectionate and sobering look at the hustle of show business. It took years for Murphy to ditch his affable family-man routine, but it was worth the wait: Dolemite Is My Name cements the raunchy, cocksure comic as one of the greatest talents of all time.

Yesterday

3 Apes (DH)

I wrote about this here. Loved it.

The Lighthouse

3 Apes (BD)

Robert Pattinson and Willem Dafoe are exhilarating in this delirious indie thriller. They play 19th century lighthouse keepers who struggle to maintain their sanity upon learning they’re stuck on an island off the coast of New England. The stunning black and white landscapes of Nova Scotia are overshadowed by Dafoe’s and Pattinson’s constant bickering, farting, masturbating, and binge drinking. The Lighthouse is bizarre, hilarious, terrifying, peculiar… and quite good. You’ll never view seagulls the same way after watching it.

Endgame

5 Apes (DH)

The culmination of nearly two dozen interconnected films all stemming from my Gen X childhood? I’ve been waiting since I read my first Avengers comic when I was ten years old for this and it did not disappoint. Packed with incredibly satisfying moments (Professor Hulk, Cap gets the Hammer, “...on your left...,” and “I... am... Iron Man”) this was the most fun three hours I could imagine that didn’t involve cheese or sex.

The Art of Self Defense

4 Apes (BD)

This deadpan and absurdist comedy highlights toxic masculinity through a ruthless karate class. Jessie Eisenberg plays Casey, a lonely, frightened accountant who enlists in the course after a mugging leaves him hospitalized. Led by a vain and puzzling instructor, the class soon absorbs Casey’s life and brainwashes him to commit barbaric acts beyond self-protection. Although clearly a blend of Fight Club and The Karate Kid, The Art of Self Defense carries an unusual rhythm that separates it from its predecessors—and displays a refreshing kind of filmmaking from newcomer Riley Streams.

Joker

4 Apes (DH)

The politics that suddenly surrounded this were nothing more than distraction. Was it a response to the humorless Woke culture? An Incel Fantasy? Who gives a fuck. It was a film that did something a lot of movies lately refuse to do—it surprised us. It also included an amazing, painful performance by Joaquin Phoenix and, like Logan before it, used the pop culture iconography of the comic book tropes and deepened them in ways that only a bold approach could.

High Life

4 Apes (BD)

Visually-stunning cinematography and a harrowing storyline carry High Life, one of the most daunting films of the year. Set in a futuristic world where death-row inmates are sent to conduct eerie experiments in outer space, High Life is as morbid as it is alluring. The movie—which was made in 2018 but not released in theaters until 2019—resembles a space version of The Shining with its isolation-leads-to-madness concept. While too edgy for some, High Life is one of the most uniquely made films in years.

Once Upon a Time in Hollywood

5 Apes (DH)

Tarantino’s homage to revisionist history, the plight of growing old and becoming replaceable, 1960s Hollywood, and chock full of snappy dialogue, incredible performances, and both a sense of celebration and melancholy makes this one of the best movies about movies ever made.

John Wick Chapter 3

5 Apes (DH)

With next year’s Keanu-mas when they release both John Wick 4 and the Matrix 4 movies on the same day (yes, I will participate fully) the franchise that spawned the newfound love for all things Reeves is absolutely worth noting. Full of that comic book/video game world-building, odd but sensible rituals and oaths and rules plus plenty of head-shot, bloody violence, I sat in a Las Vegas theater with a crowd and we all gasped, laughed, and applauded at the absolute action-porn that is John Wick. Yes, these films are pornography of comic book violence and Reeves is our big-dicked John Holmes.

The Painted Bird

5 Apes (BD)

Those seeking a feel good shan’t see The Painted Bird, a bloodcurdling Holocaust drama seen through the eyes of a child. Petr Kotlár gives a robust performance as a nameless boy fighting to survive the violent societal breakdown in Eastern Europe. In doing so, he experiences one nightmare after another—each worse than the former—and loses hope in human kindness along the way. The beautifully shot black-and-white landscapes are a mirage for the routine abuse the boy encounters, leaving audiences as numb to it as he is by the film’s end.

The Irishman

4 Apes (DH)

Scorsese caps a triptych of films over decades with this much slower but no less magnificent look into the Italian Mafia from the inside/out. Goodfellas is an Irish kid’s ascent and is an explosive young man’s movie. Casino is a Jewish man’s climb up in the Mob and, while still explosive, is a bit more subdued and a decidedly middle-aged man’s film. The Irishman is an old man’s view, looking back, reliving awful and magnificent moments.

Together, the three films mark a masterwork in a genius director’s canon.

Ad Astra

5 Apes (BD)

Ad Astra takes a different approach than most solar-system journeys by exploring the man behind the suit. Brad Pitt is Roy McBride, an accomplished astronaut whose dedication to space has damaged his marriage. When called upon for secret mission to Neptune, the stoic McBride finds he’s more than a government robot, and his ascent to madness results in one of Pitt’s finest performances. Supported by a wonderfully played asshole in Tommy Lee Jones, Ad Astra is as much a family drama as it is a space adventure.

Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker

5 Apes (DH)

Sure, there were unanswered questions leftover and I really didn’t care for that kiss at the end but I loved this film from start to finish. Completing a story as massive and, in many ways, disconnected, was a tall order and I think Abrams and team did about as good a job as anyone could expect. This will be in rotation at least a couple more times in the next few weeks.

Marriage Story

5 Apes (BD)

Oscar-worthy performances from Adam Driver and Scarlett Johansson drive Marriage Story, a clever, poignant narrative about divorce. Noah Baumbach’s behind-the-scenes view of the crippling situation separates it from movies alike, exploring factors beyond courtroom troubles and custody battles. Marriage Story empathetically—and even comically—shows both sides of the fight, and its effect will last far beyond the screen. Get your box of tissues ready.

Alita: Battle Angel

3 Apes (DH)

Not a Manga-Boy so the inconsistencies with the story and characters didn’t bother me. I thought this was the closest to watching a dramatic video game with some cool performances and great use of camera and technology. It was also the film I saw first as a resident of Las Vegas so that counts for something at least to me.

Parasite

5 Apes (BD)

Superbly written, shot and performed, Bong Joon-ho’s account of class discrimination in Korea is an electrifying and emotional masterpiece. What begins as a lighthearted story of two families—one rich, one destitute—spirals into shocking sequences of deception. It has every element of an instant classic: witty comedy, sexual tension, thrilling violence, social themes and a stunning finale that mirrors the horrors of reality. Calling it the best movie of 2019 isn’t enough: Parasite is one of the top films of the decade and transcends the arc of modern cinema.

[shit-i-write]

Mors Tua Vita Mea

Request: For my anon who wanted an AOS fic

Pairing: Reader x Quake (slightly), !platonicreader x Veddie

Warnings: Language

Summary: AOS mixed with Venom

Notes: ik i said there would be tongue but this is like 3-4 months late, and I really wanted to give it to my anon, its also a lot longer than I do for regular fics

“Eddie?!” You shout out, your mouth agape.

“Yes (Y/N). We are sending you and Agent Johnson to watch out for Mr. Brock, and his new ‘friend’” Agent Coulson says, sliding out of his seat and coming to stand next to you.

“Eddie as in Edwardo Brockton? Edward ‘Gonna get the Crap™ beat out of him’ Brockton? As in the Eddie I haven’t seen or heard from in almost 7 months?”

Coulson lets out a short chuckle at your “nicknames” for Eddie, and hands you a file. It contained profiles on both Eddie and Venom separately, some documents of their abilities together, and a small picture of them.

“We have reason to believe that they are being targeted by HYDRA, and we want to send both you and Daisy in to do a threat analysis of their current situation,” you look up at this, almost incredulous, and begin to open your mouth, but he cuts you off with “We understand that they are capable of taking care of themselves, but we need you there to just—“

“—keep an eye on them?” you interrupt, understanding where Coulson was going.

He gives you a small, soft smile, and replies, “Exactly.”

“If this is a mission for both Daisy and I…… where is she?”

“Daisy is on another, shorter mission, and will meet up with you a couple of hours after you arrive. We have already contacted Mr. Brock, and he will be waiting for you at the airport. I suggest you start getting your bags packed, you leave in….about….45 minutes.” Coulson looks up from his watch, and you give him a small nod.

Turning to leave for the door, you begin to walk away. As you get ready to walk out, you suddenly turn around to give him a hug, whispering a small ‘Thank You’ in his ear, and running out before he can react.

~~~~~

San Francisco was warm in September.

Warmer than you thought.

You weren’t gonna be phased by the weather, so you continued your way through customs. Even though you were a SHIELD. Agent, for this mission you had to pose as a civilian, which included going through the airport. Skipping the crowd for baggage claim, you walk out into the warm air, and look around, looking for the mop of brown hair you remembered.

The fucker’s nowhere to be seen, knew I should’ve called a cab.

As you continue to curse Eddie out in your head, you pull your phone out to find the nearest Uber or Lyft driver, not noticing the person approaching you from behind.

You did, however, feel the hand on your shoulder.

As an agent, you’re trained to be lithe and ready for any form of attack, which was how you ended up flipping this stranger onto his stomach, on the floor of the airport. You had his arm drawn behind his back, your knee on the small of his back, and a small knife dug into his shoulder. You were ready to yell at the man, interrogate him for getting too close, when you recognized the beat up black leather jacket, and the short crop of hair he had.

“Eddie fucking Brock?” You question, just to be sure. You had not seen him in a while, it was only natural that you were a little cautious.

“Yea, it’s me, I promise! Now will you get off of me, dumbass?” He says, although it’s muffled due to the fact that he’s still on the floor.

“Oh shit! Ye-yeah. ‘M sorry, shitty, I really am”

“It’s cool, truly. As long as you stay over there,” he says, getting up and dusting himself off. When he looks at you, he gives a slightly upset look, but bursts out laughing a few seconds later. You laugh along with him, and jump into his arms, not caring about the people who were watching the altercation as if you were both crazy.

“Is he here? Where’s my venom-babe?” You question, only here for one reason.

“Yea, he’s always here. If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you like him more than me,” he says with a slight chuckle, ready for you to disprove his theory. You only give him a blank stare in return, waiting for him to catch on. His face falls as he realizes, and you burst out in laughter, not able to hold it in any longer.

“I’m joking, love. I came for the both of you, just a little helping out. We can talk more about it later, but not here, Ok?” You fix the duffle on your shoulder, and turn away, “Now….where’s your bike?”

~~~~~

Arriving in front of his apartment, you hop off the bike, and stroll up to the steps. You had been on the back of Eddie’s bike before, so you never rode with a helmet, letting the wind whip through your hair, and feeling the breeze brush against your face.

Even though you had gotten to his apartment complex, you waited till you were sat in his living room before saying anything about your fast arrival. Instead you make light conversation about his living situation.

“Damn bitch, you live like this?”

Eddie gives you a bewildered look, and lets out a loud sigh, “I swear, I leave you alone for 5 minutes, and the internet completely destroys your brain.”

He moves to grab something out of the fridge, while you get settled on the couch. As he walks over and hands you a bottle of water, what he had said registers in your mind.

“5 minutes?! Eddie you haven’t contacted me in 7 months. You’ve got a lot of nerve, Brock. You’re just lucky that I missed you so much, otherwise I would be beating the shit out of you right now,” you say before taking an angry sip of your water, “I bet you Venom wouldn’t even stop me until you were on the verge of passing out.”

“That’s so not true, right V?”

Venom pops his head out at being questioned, then looks from Eddie to you. Instead of answering, Venom crawls down Eddie’s arm, over the back of the small couch, and onto your shoulder. “We would allow it Eddie. You have left (Y/N) alone for so long, they deserve retribution, “ he says, with a wry smile, laughing at Eddie’s bewildered stare.

“You know what, you’re not allowed to be alone with each other. You and the parasite might just plan to cut my dick off in the middle of the night,”

You let out a loud gasp, and cover V’s ears (if they even have them..?), “You take that back now, you heathen! Take it back, or else!”

At that same time, Venom growls out, “Parasite?! Take it back, NOW!”

“No. Or else what?” He says with a grin, believing you wouldn’t do anything.

You let go of V and slide your phone out, ready to pull out the big guns. Eddie’s smile drops a little, but doesn’t leave his face. Clicking on your contacts, you easily find the name you’re looking for, and press the call button. The other person picks up after the third ring, and begins to yell your ear off, talking about how you fell off the face of the earth.

“Hey Anne--” you begin as realization dawns on Eddie’s face. In a flash, he jumps towards you, ready to grab the phone and hang up. You spin out of his way, and continue the conversation, “--I was just calling to tell you--” you leap to the side, place the phone on speaker, and use your strength to keep Eddie at arms length, “--that I’m gonna be staying with Eddie for a few days, maybe a little longer. I just want us to catch up sometime before I leave.”

Allowing Anne to respond, and finishing the conversation with her, you hang up and throw a shit eating grin Eddie’s way.

“You little sh-” He starts.

“Uh uh Brock, we wouldn’t want Anne to get involved now, would we?” The grin never leaving your face.

“Why are you here, anyway (Y/N)?” He drops himself down heavily into the couch, throwing his feet up onto the small coffee table, “I know you’re not here just to catch up.”

Before you could answer, the doorbell rang. Eddie gives you a confused look, not expecting anyone else. You give him a shrug, and hold a hand up to him, to stop him from going towards the door.

“This one smells different,” V pops up and says, then disappears back into Eddie, understanding to stay out of sight.

You hold onto the gun you have hidden at your side, and slowly move towards the door, not wanting the person on the other side to hear you. Looking through the peephole, you let go of your gun and pull the door open, throwing your arms around your girlfriend.

“Wha--well, shit love, I missed you too,” she said to you.

Daisy is good at anticipating many things, but you jumping her in the hallway of a rundown apartment building was not one of them. Although she wasn’t expecting it, she still manages to catch you, and prevents the both of you from falling.

In the midst of your endearing hug, Eddie cleared his throat, looking expectantly at you, hoping for what you guessed was an explanation.

~~~~~

After introducing Daisy to both Eddie and Venom, you explained the reason why you had shown up so unexpectedly. To say V was just a little insulted would have been the understatement of the year. He had nearly thrown a temper tantrum at the insinuation that he couldn’t handle a few humans, and it took everything you and Eddie had to get him relatively calm.

You tried hard to get Venom to understand the severity of the situation, the only luck coming when you managed to bribe him with the incentive of chocolate and tator tots as a celebratory dinner, afterwards.

The plan was set.

You were gonna take them out, tonight.

The information that Coulson gave you about Eddie, also included information about a nearby HYDRA base that was gonna be invaded soon. Your “team” just decided to speed up the invasion, and get Venom and Eddie in the clear.

Daisy’s SHIELD gear consisted of her black and purple catsuit, black combat boots, and her gauntlets. Since you had no powers of your own, your gear was a normal SHIELD catsuit, combat boots, and all the weapons you normally used, including your guns and knives. Eddie, unlike the two of you, only wore regular blue jeans, a plain white T, and his black leather jacket.

“Nice supersuit, dumbass,” Daisy says to Eddie, eliciting a snort from you, and a small growl from Venom.

“At least I don’t look like a damn….”

“A what? Cause I know that you don’t have anything ready to say back” Daisy has a smile that would put the Cheshire Cat to shame, and she aims it at Eddie. Before anything could happen, however, you grab their attention, and tell them that it’s time to start to move out to the warehouse.

Why is it that the bad guys are always holed up in a warehouse?

The warehouse is small, only two stories. The plan was to have Venom come in from above, while you and Daisy made your way from below, and then meet in the middle.

That was the plan you had came up with. The execution of that plan was almost nothing like you envisioned. Yes, Venom came from the roof, and you and Daisy came from the back, but there were barely any HYDRA agents in the building.

Something was definitely wrong.

“There are others” V says, looking around, then promptly looking to the floor, “under us, frightened….but more….noise?”

You strain your ears to hear what Venom was hearing, and what you heard was a low, steady beeping. Daisy looks at you at the same time you realize what the noise was.

“Bomb” you both say simultaneously.

“V, I need you to listen carefully. Those heartbeats below us, yea, they’re most likely hostages that HYDRA had taken. Good guys. You and Daisy need to get to them out of this building, while I find the bomb and deactivate it.”

“No! I’m not leaving you to the bomb alone, Venom can get them out, while--” Daisy starts to say.

“--Daisy, I love you, but it’s just one bomb,” you interrupt her. “There are multiple people that Venom is gonna need help with, please babe, just go help him. I’ll be right out behind you.”

Daisy thinks about what you said, and gives a short nod. Then she grabs the back of your neck and brings you in for a kiss, “I love you too.”

With that, they ran off to find the hostages, and you turn in search of the bomb. It takes you almost 1 full heart pounding minute to find it inside one of the crates.

0:47, not too bad, but I gotta hurry.

This would have been so much better if you actually knew how to defuse a bomb. What you did know how to do, however, was take off the faceplate just below the timer and stare, determined, at the wires underneath.

Fuck it, I’m gonna die.

The timer was now at 0:31, and you still haven’t made any progress with the interior of the bomb. Pushing into your ear, “How’s it going with the hostages?”

“We’ve got all of them together, and we’re moving away from the building….the bomb?”

“I’m working my way through the wires, I should be done before it hits 0.”

“Understood”

Before you could continue, you feel a slimey pull at your feet. Looking down, you see Venom attaching to your leg, and moving up your body. Looking behind you, you see Eddie standing there, waiting.

“The actual fuck are you doing, Brock?” Venom was moving up your body faster, and the bomb was counting down steadily, currently at 0:24.

“I know you don’t know what you’re doing, (Y/N),” Eddie says “And I also know that your girl is out there waiting for you, along with the rest of your team, it would be a real shame if you didn’t make it back to them, wouldn’t it?”

“Eddie, please, Venom can take us both out of here, right V?” Venom surprisingly stays silent at that, “Venom, please, tell Eddie that we can make it out alive, together.” Again, nothing.

“V and I have already talked this over, and this is what we agreed to. You can merge with Venom as well as I can, and now you get to be the hero, like you’ve always wanted.”

“Eddie, please don’t do this, I don’t wanna--” Venom overtakes your face before you can finish, and jumps out the window, without Eddie.

Once outside, Venom retracts into you, and you fell to your knees, tears flowing down your face. The building blew.

“Eddie!” You shout out, your mouth agape.

[thefemdomenchantress]

The Enchantress #89

A bit of a minor story (Edit: Never mind, it turned out long. I keep doing this to myself!) in between big works. These are the same amazons from #32. I like to believe that the amazons weren’t bad people and really didn’t understand how the Enchantress had screwed them and the hero over at the time. They’re pals now.

Hero: I come bearing gifts of wheat and dyes.

Amazonian Guard: Come on in, hero. You don’t need to bring a gift every time you come here.

The hero is lead into the amazonian work camp. Women all around him look up as he passes by. Some even wave at the familiar sight. He waves back.

Finally he makes it to the medicine woman of the tribe.

Amazon MW: Ah, hero. You’re the only one male that I would trust with the task.

Hero: What is it that you need of me, medicine woman?

Amazon MW: Not a simple task at all, I’m afraid. Please, come into the tent and see for yourself.

They walk into a stone and wood building that serves as the village infirmary. They walk to a sealed off door, which the medicine woman unlocks. They both enter the room.

It’s a windowless room kept aglow with glowing fungi. There is a bed. Upon that bed is a young amazonian woman who couldn’t be much more than twenty years of age. She sits up as they enter the room and smiles, her eyes barely open.

Hero: Who is this?

Amazon MW: She is called “Fire Heir” and is the youngest heir to the East Amazonian throne. She will one day inherit control of not insubstantial amount of land and resources. But she’s ill.

Fire Heir: ~Tee hee~ A man! How funny…

Amazon MW: Don’t mind her. She’s been possessed by some sort of magical affliction that I don’t have a cure for readily available. It warps her personality, drowns her inhibitions and makes her say what’s on her mind-

Fire Heir: Oh my Gods! I’m going to die!

Amazon MW: No no no! It’s not fatal at all, dear! *Turning to the hero and whispering* But it could be permanent if it’s not treated soon. I may not know much about this ailment, but I bet a well traveled person such as yourself has seen at least something similar before?

Hero: I have, yes. And there has always been either a cure or treatment. I’m sure there’s one for this too.

Amazon MW: Excellent! I am confident that with your experience and resources we shall be able to cure her. But I will also need you to act as this Fire Heir’s caretaker as well.

Hero: But why ask me to do this? I’m sure you have amazons who would be better equipped for this job.

Amazon MW: Two reasons, hero. One, there is a rule among us that heirs to the throne may not be touched by any fellow amazons aside from us medicine women.

Hero: Hmm. That’s not as uncommon a rule as you’d think. I know many countries and kingdoms who have even stricter laws pertaining to how royalty is treated.

Amazon MW: The second is that Fire Heir has been the target of several assassinations since she’s been ill. Fellow heirs after her inheritance see her sickness as a chance to kill her off and pass her death as illness-related. It would work too, as much of the village believes the illness as deadlier than it is.

Fire Heir: ~They wanna off my head, ‘cuz they’re jealous of the big ol’ land I’m gonna get when my mom dies. *Giggles* I’m in tough shit, ain’t I?

Hero: I’ll protect her. And I’ll help you develop the cure. But… One question?

Amazon MW: Yes?

Hero: …Why did you not simply ask The Enchantress for help?

Amazon MW: *Looks guilty* She is still our benefactor, despite the… incident… But we trust her less and less nowadays.

Hero: Hmm.

Amazon MW: I, personally, was not available at the time when they… kidnapped you… If I had I would have determined the true cause of their illnesses in time to stop them-!

Hero: I don’t blame you, medicine woman. Nor do I blame your queendom. Let’s get to work.

*** *** ***

Hero: It’s been three days, Fire Heir. Me and the medicine woman are still hard at work. Are you feeling okay? Feeling any better, at least?

Fire Heir: *Grabs the hero by the shoulder* Nope! Still a dumb dumb!

Hero: It’s not permanent. I assure you.

Fire Heir: ~Hehehe, it’s not that bad! I definitely feel happier this way. Is that wrong?

Hero: Well, whether you’re happy or not we’re still gonna cure you. *Takes her hands off his shoulder, but she fights back*

Fire Heir: ~Nooo, please! Let me touch you!

Hero: Huh?

Fire Heir: ~I haven’t felt anyone’s skin since I was a child! Except for the ol’ medicine woman.

Hero: Um, I don’t think I should- Oof!

The heir pulled the hero down onto the bed, and fell asleep holding him in her muscular arms. Her illness did nothing to hinder her physical might. The hero remained trapped in her arms until rescued by the medicine woman.

*** *** ***

Fire Heir: ~You two are spending SO MUCH time together! Are you dating?

Amazon MW: *Chuckling as she rubs oil on Fire Heir’s bare back* I doubt my wife would approve of that, Fire Heir. Besides, everyone knows of the hero’s tangled mess of a love life, and no one wants to get caught in that web.

Hero: Don’t go telling her that! She’ll misunderstand!

Fire Heir: ~Aww… I wish the hero wasn’t dating anyone… I want to mate with him…

The hero splutters and nearly drops the medicine tin as the medicine woman laughs.

Amazon MW: Fire Heir, you don’t even know what “mating” is.

*** *** ***

Hero, swinging his sword: Gah! Take THIS!

Assassin Amazon: GRAH! Damn you! May the enchantress betray you and EAT YOUR SOUL YOU DAMN-!

The assassin doesn’t get another word out as the hero kicks her in the chin, knocking her out.

Hero: Fire Heir? Where are you, you’re safe!

Fire Heir peers from behind the stone bed she had been hiding from.

Fire Heir: ~I’m in tough shit… I’m in such tough shit…

Hero: Hey now, no you’re not. I’ll protect you until it’s all over.

Fire Heir: ~I… I can’t… I don’t know what to do… Nothing makes sense, and maybe nothing will ever make sense again, and there are people trying to kill me and… And… And I don’t know how not to be sad about it…

The heir gasps as the hero wraps his arms around her, embracing her.

Hero: I never said you couldn’t be sad. I just said it’s going to be okay.

The heir sobbed into his shoulder.

*** *** ***

Hero: We’ve made some progress. The problem remains, however, that this cure will be a little more painful than we anticipated. Lots of injections, needles, and even minor surgery to extract the parasite…

Amazon MW: The worst part is that there is no anaesthetic that works on Amazon bodies.

Hero: Well, we’ll have to make the world’s first one then. I have grown protective of Fire Heir and I want to see what she’s like when she isn’t sick.

Amazon MW: I too would like to see her old self again. So soft and polite… On the topic, have you taken to sleeping beside her?

Hero: It comforts her, I think.

*** *** ***

Fire Heir: …~Hero?

Hero, reading a book about surgery: Yes?

Fire Heir: ~Will you tell me about the enchantress and the princess?

Hero: … *Puts the book away* How do you know about them?

Fire Heir:  ~D’aw, everyone knows about them you silly bison, you! The enchantress says she’s your real girl and the princess is just a girl on the side but… We don’t trust her all that much…

Hero: Oh. Well, don’t believe anything she says. I don’t want to talk about them.

Fire Heir: ~ Oh Come on! Just a little bit, please?

Hero: …Would it make you happy?

Fire Heir: ~Happy enough to sleep alone at night again, if that’s what it’ll take to get you to talk.

Hero: Hmm… Okay. Well, you know the enchantress. I don’t know what she’s said to you, but she and I actually don’t-

Fire Heir: ~ No no no, please start with the juicier stuff! We know a lot about the enchantress already so tell me about the princess first!

Hero: Sure. She… She was my best friend. I met her when we were really young. I was around six, maybe seven. And she’s royal, just like you I suppose.

Fire Heir: ~Oooh, so she wasn’t allowed to be touched by anyone either?

Hero: Anyone of peasant blood. That means… You know what? Never mind. It just means she wasn’t allowed to be touched by basically anyone. But she also wasn’t allowed to have friends. She was raised mostly by caretakers.

Fire Heir: ~Just like me…

Hero: She knew nothing of the world. Even I knew moreso than her, and I was feral. So I would sneak into her room at night and we’d play and learn from each other.

Fire Heir: ~And mate?

Hero: No. We’d play, and pretend we had normal lives. I’d go on long quests, but I always came back to her, with gifts and cool stories to tell. She… she was my first home.

Fire Heir: ~Oh…

Hero: But we don’t play anymore. We still talk, and we’re still friendly. But… But we can’t talk to each other like we used to.

Fire Heir: ~You don’t touch? You don’t hug, or kiss, or at least hold hands?

Hero: We used to. We don’t anymore. Because we know it’s best for her this way. One day she will…

The hero takes a minute to collect himself. Fire Heir notices how deep a breath he takes before he speaks again.

Hero: She’ll marry someone else. A prince, or duke… someone a princess is supposed to marry. So we can’t pretend we’re… that we can be close.

Fire Heir: … ~I think you two should still touch.

Hero: Why do you think so?

Fire Heir: ~I know for a fact that she probably wants to, and not being able to must be killing her.

Hero: … I suppose-!

The Fire Heir is suddenly slapping him on the head like a drum.

Fire Heir: ~Don’t be a meanie to your princess, fuckhead!

*** *** ***

Fire Heir: ~Nooo! Let them go, you shitty cunts!

Assassin #1: Only if you comply, girl.

The hero is held down by two assassins as a third holds a knife to the medicine woman. Fire Heir is standing up, swaying from the effort. She holds the hero’s sword, which had been knocked out of his hands previously.

Fire Heir: You awful troglodytes! Don’t you hurt them!

Assassin #1: While the hero has been kept awake by your night terrors, neediness, and trite whining we have been plotting this moment! Stop resisting and let us poison you. We can’t use our swords on you, unfortunately.

The assassin walks up to the Fire Heir, confident in her ability to deal with a sick woman who has never wielded a weapon in her life before… and is given a burning cut across her fingers for her troubles.

Assassin #1: Tch! Surprising… So the hero’s taught you a few tricks… But you’re still too weak for me. Girls, keep the medicine woman in chains. We’ll need to make sure her death matches Fire Heir’s so we can claim them as “symptoms” of “illness.”

Assassin #2: What about the hero?

Assassin #1: *Grinning* Do what you will.

One of the assassins knead the hero’s crotch through his pants. Fire Heir almost drops the sword in shock. The hero squirms as he grows erect.

Hero: Urk! D-damn it…

Fire Heir: ~W-wait… what’s going on?

Assassin #1: You’ve never seen a male orgasm before, have you? Growing distracted I see.

Fire Heir watches, mesmerized as the hero squirms in their grasp, trying to resist. The way he wiggles his hips, the way he begins to moan, the way he seems to unwillingly enjoy the torture despite hating it…

She almost doesn’t notice the assassin approaching her until it is almost too late. In her shock she follows her instinct and throws the sword back to the hero.

The hero catches it in his mouth, slashing at his two surprised opponents. He quickly dives at the head assassin, slaying her before she could touch the heir. The ones holding the medicine woman had already fled.

Fire Heir:~Is… Is medicine woman safe?

Hero: She’ll be fine. They merely slipped her some sleeping powder. I’m proud of you, heir. You did the best you-?

Fire Heir had leaned down at the hero and was poking at his crotch, looking at it in curiosity. The hero doesn’t move, bewildered. Even among corpses of assassins, the dazed woman is more focused on his cock.

The hero tries to tell her to stop, but she is too out of it to hear him. He tries to pry her wrist away from his cock, but she’s too strong and has already wrapped two hands around his erection through his pants.

He doesn’t want to hurt her, and every other method of removing her in his skill set would do so. So he stands there and vainly struggles to stop her.

She pulls down his pants. He’s erect and hard. She holds his cock in her hands, feeling the warmth. It’s large, much larger than the biology books implied. The tip is growing wet. She squeezes gently and hears the hero moan. The sound is delicious.

Hero: Fire Heir…

She squeezes again. And again. It’s growing wet at the tip. She squeezes again, but this time she doesn’t let go. She holds it and tugs once to see what would happen and hears the hero yelp.

Hero: Fire Heir!

She wants so badly to know what it would taste like…

Hero: FIRE HEIR!

Fire heir hears him and looks up. The hero is staring frantically at her, trying to pull away from her firm, tight grasp. He’s obviously uncomfortable.

Guiltily, she let go.

*** *** ***

Hero: We did it… But I feel as though we’ve sold our souls to the devil.

Amazon MW: It’s the world’s first anaesthetic for amazons. I’m shocked we accomplished such a feat, even if it’s unorthodox.

Fire Heir: ~What? What kind of anamawhatzit? What’s so weird about it? *Giggles* You’re all being so serious, but isn’t this a good thing?

Hero: … This chemical that we’re about to inject in you will not only put you to sleep, but you won’t wake up or feel pain until the surgery is over. However…

Fire Heir: ~ Yes? YES?

Amazon MW: You’ll experience an hour long orgasm.

Fire Heir: ~Hmm? An hour long whatzit now?

Hero: We’ve… we’ve basically invented orgasm in a bottle.

Amazon MW: I doesn’t create orgasms, per se. But it will extend any that she feels after consumption, and heighten it to the point where it’s 95% of what her body will feel.

Hero: Theoretically blocking out her body’s pain receptors. Not a perfect anesthesia since she won’t be in a relaxed state, but for the minor surgery required…

Fire Heir: ~Hmm… I don’t completely know what you’re saying… But I do know this. I think HERO should be the one to give me the Orgasm or whatever!

Hero: HUH?

Fire Heir: ~Yes, that sounds right. Medicine woman is experienced in all things medicine, so she’ll need to give me the drug… so the hero should do the orgasm making! Yes, that makes sense! In the interest of self preservation I demand that this is how it is done, or there will be NO surgery!

The heir smiles brightly before staring off into space. The hero and medicine woman were not fooled, however. It was obvious that, as inexperienced as she may be and as much as her magic affliction was affecting her, that she was not as clueless about the topic as she appeared.

Amazon MW: Well… It’s her orders… And I do think it’s best it is you anyway. You’re far closer to her age than I ever will be, so it’s more appropriate.

Hero: I know, but… Damn it.

Amazon MW: *Muttering* Damn near everyone on the island knows you’re good with your fingers.

Hero: FINE.

*** *** ***

The drug is administered by the medicine woman. The Fire Heir lay nude on the bed. The hero places his fingers close to her pussy lips, but doesn’t quite enter her with his fingers or tongue yet.

Making use of his extensive experiences, he teases her by slowly edging closer and closer to her pussy’s inner walls, tasting the outer folds gently. The heir shudders. One finger gently spreading his saliva around while the other gently pressed inward.

The hero’s teasing is quite effective as the dazed and delirious heir decides to grab his hair and pull him closer. His protests are shut down as she squeezes him between her thighs.

His tongue works its magic, touching and lathering up her pussy, and circling around her clit. Around… around… closer and closer until…

Fire Heir: ~Nooo! Wait! I changed my mind!

The heir squeezes the hero’s head with her thighs like a vice, signalling him to stop.

Fire Heir: ~Please… Hero… Not with your tongue… With your dick. Pleeease…

Hero: Mmph!

Fire Heir: ~ I want to feel it for real… Please…

The hero frees himself from her thighs and stared bewildered. He looks at the Medicine Woman, not sure how to proceed. She’s already preparing the hero a condom.

He applies the condom and position himself between the heir’s legs. She’s already spreading them, ready for him.

He penetrates her slowly, and when he hears her gasp he quickens the pace.

An amazon’s sex organ, likewise with anyone with a vagina, loosens when aroused. But because of their powerful muscles they also tighten, firmly caressing and squeezing any penis inserted.

Fire Heir gasps and bucks as the hero keeps his pace steady, desperate not to cum early and ruin the op. He need not worry though. The heir cums in a loud, scream filled orgasm.

Her body convulses in pleasure and continues to do so long after one minute passes. She bounces and squirms, until the medicine puts her to sleep, though it’s clear that even in her dreams she is experiencing unnatural bliss.

*** ***

Two hours pass.

Amazon MW: … There. The surgery is finished, and she should be cured of this magical mind affliction.

Hero: Now we just wait until she awakens.

Amazon MW: … This anesthetic we’ve created… It works on humans too.

Hero: . .  .

Amazon MW: We can’t hide it from the enchantress, hero. She’ll find out, and if we don’t give it to her she might punish us. And when we give it to her… you’ll be the first person she tries it on.

Hero: I know.

Amazon MW: I can develop an antidote for it…

Hero: But not immediately, right?

Amazon MW: No.

Hero: Damn.

Fire Heir: Ugh… So bright…

Amazon MW: Fire Heir! You’re awake. How are you?

Fire Heir: I am… feeling very ill. And my head and sides hurt. But… I think I feel better than I have in weeks.

Hero: Wow, is this how you normally speak?

The heir saw the hero and grew red and embarrassed, an emotion he had never seen on her before.

Fire Heir: Great hero. I… I must apologize for the way I’ve been treating you. I’m deeply ashamed.

Hero: You were not in the right state of mind. You were sick and under duress. No need for apologies, your majesty.

Amazon MW: Sleep well, young one. We will have to announce that you’re better in the morning. The assassination attempts will stop now that your death can’t be disguised as a natural cause.

*** *** ***

The ceremony celebrating Fire Heir’s health was over the top by design, meant to spread the word far and wide. The amazon kingdom’s three other heirs, Earth heir, Wind Heir, and Metal Heir had been invited and greeted their half sister with a cheeriness too bright to be genuine. The hero wondered which of them had sent the assassins.

That question was answered when he witness the Fire Heir shake the hands of Earth Heir and whisper something in her ear. Earth Heir seemed incredible shaken for the rest of the day.

Seeing Fire Heir calm and calculating as she met with the amazonian citizens was incredible. He was used to her giggling, crying, raving, and saying whatever came to her mind with no filter at all. But here it was clear why her sister wished for her death: of the four she was the most ready to take the throne if she so wished.

After the celebrations, Fire Heir had one more gift for the hero. She grabbed his hand and brought him to her royal bedroom.

*** *** ***

Fire Heir: Hero… Before you leave tomorrow, I wanted to do something for you tonight, if you accept.

Hero: Fire heir, if you’re offering what I think you’re offering I want you to know it’s really not necessary.

Fire Heir: Please, listen. All throughout this ordeal I’ve been acting foolish, loony, and terribly aggressive. What with what the enchantress put you through last time, and what I’ve put you through now… I want to leave you with a better, more dignified idea of what sex with an amazon is like.

Hero: Are… are you sure?

Fire Heir: I’m going into the closet to change. And when I come out, if you’re still here… Well, you know.

*** *** ***

The hero was still there when she exited the closet. She wore a red and gold silk dress and held in her hands various velvety ribbons. The hero himself had taken off his shirt. Fire Heir smirked, admiring his body.

She walked up to him and took his hands in hers, beckoning him to stand.

Fire Heir: No matter what the enchantress tells us, you don’t belong to her. Though I know deep down you want to belong to the princess, you don’t. Not yet, anyway.

Hero: What do you mean?

Fire Heir: I firmly believe that next time you meet with your princess you’ll, hopefully, wisen up. And then you won’t be single anymore. Which means this is my last chance to do this.

Hero: To do what?

Fire Heir: To make love to you without guilt.

She kissed him on the lips. Not hungrily, but for a long, long time. Then she took his hands and folded them firmly, but gently, behind his back, wrapping them in the velvet ribbons. The hero raised an eyebrow.

Fire Heir: Amazons like to show off the superiority of their muscles to males they sleep with. Regular amazons do so with wrestling, play-fighting, and the like. I myself did this to you when I was delirious.

Hero: You don’t have to apologize.

Fire Heir: I know. You made that clear. But I do have to correct myself. I am a royal amazon. We royal amazons show off our strength through a demonstration.

Fire Heir picked up a few velvet ribbons between her two fingers and easily tore them neatly in two. She nodded for the hero to try and free himself of the ribbons tying him up. Struggle as he might, the hero couldn’t escape the bondage.

Fire Heir: Hero… It’s exciting, isn’t it? Being in the presence of someone so much stronger than you…

Hero: K-kind of…

The Fire Heir pushed him down onto the bed and crawled atop him, her two muscular arms holding her up like two powerful pillars. The hero couldn’t help but stare.

Fire Heir: It excites you, knowing that even if you didn’t agree to this I could, if I wanted to, take you anyways.

Hero: …

Fire Heir: I am your superior, hero. In a fight between us perhaps you could be the victor, but never a grapple, or a contest of strength. Admit it.

Hero: I… I admit you’re stronger than I am.

Fire Heir: No, hero. Admit that you love being weaker than I am.

Hero: N-no. That’s not true…!

The Fire Heir slipped his pants down with her dexterous feet. She wrapped a finger around his cock and smiled.

Fire Heir: You will admit it.

Hero: You won’t get me to say that.

Fire Heir: There’s no resisting a royal amazon, hero.

Hero: T-try me…

A poor choice of wording. The heir gripped him and pumped him with her powerful fingers, all while keeping her lustful and playful gaze on the hero. Then, when he was just beginning to moan, she wrapped her lips around his tip, driving him crazy, desperately squirming to try and escape the ribbons tying him down.

Fire Heir: Mmm, so that is how you taste…

She stood up on her knees, letting go of the hero’s cock. She giggled at his disappointment.

She took off her underwear, but kept the dress on. She positioned herself over the hero’s erection, hands around her waist. She smiled smugly.

Fire Heir: Before I lower myself, I want to hear you say it.

Hero: D-damn it…

Fire Heir: Do it. It’ll make me enjoy this so much more. It will make me feel so confident and superior as I dominate you.

Hero: I… I love… being weaker than you… Please. Take me.

The heir laughed as she lowered herself, positioning herself carefully and taking the hero in her. He gasped as she rocked back and forth. She squeezed him firm in her muscles, enjoying his reactions. She loved dominating him so thoroughly.

She never took her hands off her hips, and despite enjoying his dick immensely, controlled her face as to treat the hero as though she wasn’t putting her all into dominating him. She almost hummed.

But she as the hero came so close to cumming she decided to drop the act. She laughed and screamed, and rode him with passion.

And the hero came with such an intensity, with her following along soon after.

And then they were spent.

Fire Heir: Heh heh… Yes! This time you came first.

Hero: Guilty as charged…

Fire Heir: *Chuckle* Ready to go again? We amazon royalty have infamous endurance.

Hero: Please… Have mercy…

Fire Heir: *Whispers* Never.

[The End]

*** *** ***

[I wrote this meaning for it to be a short just because I wanted to revisit the Amazons from #32. It turned into this. Whoops. ]

[Bonus Hero x Princess stuff under the line. If you’re just here for the smut, that’s all folks!]

*** *** ***

The hero stood in the palace gardens, approaching the wall corner. This was how they always met: speaking from their side of a corner, facing the other way. Never touching. Safe.

He heard the princess on the other side.

Hero: Hey.

Princess: It’s been a while.

Hero: What have you been up to?

Princess: Trying to get my father to grant me more time in the library. And snooping in on conversations about politics and wars, that kind of stuff. Haven’t found out anything useful though. How about you?

Hero: I’ve been in the amazon kingdom. They needed me to help them save one of their heirs.

Princess: I see.

Hero: Um… I also slept with their heir. It wasn’t anything deep. Sex and nothing more.

Princess: Heh. I don’t mind. I fantasize about sleeping with tons of guys when you’re away. Married kings, handsome incubi, Chris Hensworth…

Hero: Damn it, I never should have shown you those Earth Magazines!

Princess: I’m trying to say, it’s alright. Besides. We’re not technically… together.

Hero: But we’re still friends, right?

Princess: Forever. But…

The hero waited. He heard her sigh. The words of Fire Heir rang in his ears. “I think you two should still touch…”

Princess: It’s just… I’m starting to really hate this wall between us.

Hero: It’s… it’s so if we get caught, you can say you didn’t see me.

Princess: Maybe I should get it taken down. Then what would you do?

Hero: Princess, please.

Princess: I’m just joking. I know… being around me… makes you uncomfortable. And this wall helps ease the pain of not getting to be with each other. I don’t mind. Shall we get to work?

Hero: … Okay.

They planned out the hero’s next adventure. Ideas on where the hero should go, what he should do, which rebellions he should help with and which he should squash. All the while the urge to reach out and grab the princess’s hand grew and grew, but for all of his bravery, the hero was cursed with cowardice in this one regard.

Princess: …and that should be all.

Hero: I suppose…

Princess: I… I guess you should go.

Hero: Y-yeah…

He wanted it so badly. Just reach out… Just touch the princess…

Hero: …

Princess: …

Hero: Goodbye.

Princess: Bye.

The hero heard the princess walk away.

.

…

Hero: Princess.

Princess: Yes, hero-?!

The hero took the princess into a deep, tight, fierce hug, which she returned with equal enthusiasm.