#a sheep cant lead its own flock after all

[studio-safehouse]

What about Sammy the sheep? Or… Sam the sheep? You like sheep don’t you?

SAMMY: No! I am not a sheep, I am the SHEPHERD!!!

BORIS: He reminds me more of a bird anyway.

[vividlytalentless]

The Yielding.

When I first decided to write, I wrote solely with the use of my mind. I spent restless hours, strenuously choosing each word, trying to perfect so hard, that I always ended up with a white page instead. I reached the point where I wondered why am I even doing this? A true writer would never be this burdened.

Now I stand corrected, almost all writers struggle to write sometimes. However, I wasn't writing properly, look writing isn't just about enlightening, sharing ideas or raising debates. Writing itself is a primitive sacred craft, an art made for empathy, to convey the emotions of one heart to another. Thus I've learned to bleed what my broken soul has failed to utter, I've let blank pages absorb my sentiments, encapsulating them for my small circle to read.

So maybe now when I can truly write with my soul and mind, I'll be able to speak with the never-existing you.

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I've never felt that it's my right to choose your name, however, a day might come when my heart gets a human form; a day when I'm obliged to name you, I'll then call you Athena. After the Greek goddess of strategic war, wisdom and poetry, a goddess born wearing a battle armor, Just as the one your graceful soul will have on; you'll learn as tomorrows passes by that life can't wait to break you down, but I'm certain that you, my sweet little angel, you'll be born beautifully prepared.

I promise that I'll always be your Mediterranean, cause no Alexandrian is really ever lost by the sea. As Mays fade into Junes, I'll be by your side, watching with pride, as your baby steps grow into the choices that'll form who you truly are. I'll help you forge a spirit so irregular, that the world could never fit you in its mold. When your heart is so heavy it could form a black hole, sucking all the expressions on the tip of your tongue, I'll bring you my very first fountain pen, and show you how it's done.

If the time arrives, when you come to me with those winsome wide eyes, that just can't get enough of the world asking me, daddy where's Atlantis? I'll take this question as a symbol of acceptance, an allowance to reach out for your psyche, grabbing it closer to mine.

Baby, I'll tell you, your father spent years exploring minds, learning how to perfectly accept and understand. Trust me I'll always be a judge-free zone, forever ready to hear and love whatever thoughts you throw at me. I'll come knocking on your door, showing you that no mood late-night talks can't improve; we'll watch the stars, talking about philosophy and poetry, discussing our existential crises and dilemmas.

I'll teach you everything I've learned about life and humans.

This world is like a bag of sour candy, its bitterness is just an emphasis on the sweetness underneath, so don't you ever fear grabbing a handful. Listen every story in life come in threes, a beginning, a middle and an end, and your story will be a bestseller. Just promise me that you'll never run away from the endings, cause everything that'll pass by no matter how painful it is, is an experience worth living; endings are the water to your soil, ensuring you embark on growing with wisdom and strength.

Sweetheart never stop observing the world, watch caterpillars turn into butterflies, learn that the periphery of a phase, is far away from your demise.

Also keep in mind that solitude is a sweet poison, a toxic desire lurking in every tainted system. You should know that we humans are social creatures, we're most comfortable connected, sharing genuine strong emotions and stories.

Always cherish the holy miracle of true friendship, I'll be honest not all friendships will last forever, and losing friends are the worst type of heartbreaks. However, there's nothing time and ice-cream won't heal. Live your life wearing this big mellow heart on your sleeves, unshackle your soul from your overthinking brain, take risks and don't ever feel afraid from falling in love with people's minds.

My young Amazonian, I know that you'll be born a warrior, a superheroine trying to fix everyone's world. Believe me, I know how hard it is to watch the hearts you care for aching, but there's pain that your hugs just can't fix; sometimes no matter what you do, you cant catch all the pain you want to mend, and you'll only end up with grievous wounds exactly like the ones on my chest.

Yet I know that nothing I'm going to say, will ever stop you from doing what feels right, so here are a few tips. The secret of gaining trust is for you to actually trust first, but never EVER give anyone leverage, it's foolish to assume that all mangos are sweet. Also, don't be wasteful with your words, repetition murders the resolution in your voice, all your heartening will morph into disheartening; think of one's heart as a bucket of water, each word is a drop till it's completely full, and from there each extra word is just a meaningless spill.

My perfect storm, listen to me no matter what they'll tell you our religion is, says or enforce, don't believe it, our religion states nothing against humanity. Following our religion exclusively means that we are a work in progress towards the greater good, and that should forever be your only conviction.

Don't you ever blindly trust what you're told, at no time ever accept that ignorance is a blessing. Wander to the deepest parts of your mind, craft your ideologies, form your own identity. Become your intellect's epitome, weaponize the way you think, love and accept the person hiding at the very back of your mind.

Yet take care, our brain is too smart for our own good. Going through life with chronic overthinking only paves the road to desolation; sometimes all you need is to just lose inhibition, letting your heart get carried away, for the tip of your tongue to taste some of the sweetness of life.

So always approach your thoughts with a big sturdy heart, and that's exactly where you should place your soul, on the fine borderline between your heart and mind. Not detained and tormented by your thoughts, neither fragile and irrational under your emotions command. Your soul should be the intertwining of your feelings and thoughts, creating the heavenly relative being that is you!

My youthful goddess of wisdom, If the time comes when you're here, and you're nothing like my words, nothing like how my mind personified you; even if our hugs screamed disparity, each glimpse of you would still fill my tongue with endearments. No matter who you'll turn out to be, you'll always dwell in the deepest parts of my heart.

~~~~~~~~~~

To the purest soul that'll never to exist.

Our society is a parasitic blight that feeds on idiocy; grows on corruption; breeds indifference and defies simple peculiarities.

It'll savagely deny your orientation, identity and ideologies, in the name of its own false religion. It has mastered the art of deception for so long now, It'll herd us like a flock of sheep, carving each one of us into the embodiment of ignorance.

Yet, most importantly our society is also a tainted he, an irrational spoiled male that fear equality, repudiating your rights in the challenge of life. He'll claim possession over your own virginity, he'll cut and modify your very own body, as if ruination is his birthright. He'll harras the life out of the one organ system different body, that your soul didn't even choose to live in. Crimes committed against you, will simply be absolved, cause your screams just weren't loud enough.

Sexists exist throughout my gender's history, and they still do, causing nothing but pain and agony; like an anaconda holding its prey, they'll squeeze the youth out of the virtuous souls.

~~~~~~~~~~

To the never-existing you.

As long as I can remember, I was a two-headed coin that'll never balance on its side. Gray was the abomination my eyes were never able to see. Genuineness was always my primary emotion. I've always lived in the certitude of the edges, no almosts no maybes, go hard or go home.

I also learned to love living this way, a being that loathes intermediates. Yet something as majestic as you are, is a might, an if, a beautiful wavering thought afar from absolute.

They say:

" " فاقد الشيء لا يعطيه

Maybe in a physical world this saying is correct, however, on the psychological level, I believe it's quite the opposite. For so long now I had a fatherly soul in me, a psyche well recognized and experienced by everyone I've loved.

But going through life, I've grown distant from this spirit. I became a perfect blend of failures that I'm too weak to endure, my mind became a horrid mess, I'm a wretched lunatic embodying lucidity. I've grown inwards, my hands can only form fists, I can't shake hands through life anymore. I've accepted frustration, it turned into anger, then I foolishly revered anger; now my soul is on fire, my heart morphed into a furnace, fueled by fury, forging impulsiveness.

My sweet never-will-be-born daughter, my legs just can't walk the road leading to you anymore. I might just be covered by the society's dust, a tarnished male denying your opportunity to live. However, I surely know that what I became, isn't good enough for you; my heart is now an atheist, incapable of worshipping the goddess you are.

I'm well aware that I'm still young, but right now you're so far away from approaching certainty.

My yielding fatherly soul.